【趣味漫画】
答案：我说我想找个温柔，体贴，稍微还有点狂热的人约会。他们配给我一条香蕉面包。
心理学的图片,你能看到几张脸?
s 是少女又是老头
哲理漫画“人生就像坐公交车”的英文翻译！急用！请尽快帮忙。谢谢
我们知道它有起点和终点，却无法预知沿途的经历
有的人行程长
有的人行程短
有的人很从容，可以欣赏窗外的景色
有的人很窘迫，总处于推搡和拥挤之中
然而与悬挂在车门上、随时可能掉下去的人相比，似乎又感欣慰
获得舒适与优雅，座位是必不可少的机会，因此总被人们争抢
有的人很幸运，一上车就能落座
有的人很倒霉，即使全车的人都坐下了，他还站着
有时别处的座位不断空出来，唯独身边这个毫无动静
而当你下定决心走向别处，刚才那个座位的人却正好离开
为了坐上或保住座位，有的人漠视良心，甚至伤害他人
有的人却因为这样那样的原因，不得不将到手的座位让给他人
有的人用了种种的方式，历了长长的等待，终于可以坐下
但这时他已经到站了
下车的一刻，他回顾车厢，也许会为区区一个座位而感慨，自以为大彻大悟
其实即使重新来过，他依然会去争抢，因为有时如果不坐下，连站的位置都没有除非你永远不上车，而这并不由自己决定
到站的人下了，车上的人还在
依然熙熙攘攘，依然上上下下
Life is like a bus
We know where it begins and ends, but can't know what will happen in the experience
Some people have longer journeys
Some people travel short
Some are very calmly, can enjoy the scenery outside the window
Some people embarrassed, always be in pushing and crowded in
However that hang from the door, anytime, compared to those who fall seems to have delighted
To travel in comfort and grace, you must take a seat at the first chance; therefore, everybody will fight for a seat
Some people are lucky enough to get on the car, a signature
Some are very unlucky, because although everyone else can get a seat of the car, he also stood
Sometimes other seats become vacant, but the side this out without action And when you set your mind to, just that seat towards elsewhere but just leave In order to obtain and keep a seat, some people disregard their conscience, even hurt others
Some people, for this and other reasons, had to give up the seat they others Some people with a variety of ways, underwent a long wait, they finally get a seat
But then he had arrived
The moment he get carriages, might be reviewed reposibility.four a seat and regrets, from think big che enlightened
Even it all over again, he will still go to scramble, because sometimes if not sit down, even the station of position are not
Unless you never get on the car, but this does not determine by themselves Station who made, the person on the car
Still bustling, still up and down
问：小白长得很像他的哥哥，打一句成语
答：真相大白
问:为什么梨子是温度最高的水果?
答:梨子(离子)烫
问: 世界上最最黑暗的动漫人物是谁?
答: 机器猫
为什么: 因为他伸手不见五指
问: 世界上最富有同情心的动漫人物是谁？
答: 还是机器猫
为什么: 因为他总是向人伸出圆手!
问：有一只狼来到了北极，不小心掉到ㄌ冰海中，被捞ㄌ起来时变成了什么?
答: 槟榔
Q：世界上什么鸡跑的快？什么鸡慢？
A：肯德鸡块（快）
妮可基特曼（慢）
Q：非洲食人族的酋Zhang吃什么？
A：人啊！
Q：那有一天，酋Zhang病了，医生告诉他要吃素，那他吃什么？A：吃植物人！~~
Q:什么动物是高手?
A:猪,因为猪(珠)算高手
Q:什么动物最容易被贴在墙壁上?
A:海(报)豹
Q:胖子从12楼掉下来会变什么?
A: 死胖子
Q:吃饱饭了谁会帮你添饭?
A:飞龙嘛,因为飞龙在(天）添
Q:一只小狗在沙漠中旅行，结果死了，问他是怎么死的？
A：他是憋死的，因为沙漠里没有电线杆尿尿。
Q:一只小狗在沙漠中旅行，找到了电线杆，结果还是憋死了，为什么？
A：点线杆上贴着"此处不许小便"
Q:一只小狗在沙漠中旅行，找到了电线杆，上面没贴任何东西，结果还是憋死了，为什
么？
A：很多小狗在排队，没等到。
Q:一只小狗在沙漠中旅行，找到了电线杆，上面没贴任何东西，排队也排到了，结果还
是憋死了，为什么？
A：因为后面是两个漂亮狗MM，他不好意思。
Q 有一棵三角形的树被送到北极去种 ...请问Zhang大后!那棵树叫 ....?
A…三角函数(寒树)..............
Q:老板,你这不叫牛肉面吗?怎么连牛肉都没有?!
A:人家还叫老婆饼呢,难不成你买的时候还送你一个老婆?!
Q:白色的马叫白马,黑色的马叫黑马,黑白相间的马叫斑马,那么黑色白色红色相间的马
叫什么马?
A:是害羞的斑马,呵呵
Q:有一天，有一根火柴棒它头很痒，就去抓，头就烧起来了。然后被送去医院，从急诊
室出来之后，猜猜变成什么了
A:棉花棒，因为头被包扎起来了。
很经典的英语脑筋急转弯，你会几个？
Brain twists
1. What will you break once you say it? (什么东西一说出来就打破？)
2. Will liars be honest after they die? (骗子死了之后会诚实吗？)
3. What always goes up and never goes down? (什么东西只升不降？)
4. Why did the boy make his dog sit in the sun? (男孩为什么让他的狗坐在阳光下？)
5. Why can a bride hide nothing?(为什么新娘子什么也藏不住？)
6. Why is the library the highest building?(为什么图书馆是最高的建筑物？)
7. What is the smallest bridge in the world? (世界上最小的桥梁是什么？)
8. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole? (北极与南极的区别是什么？)
9. What makes naughty boys long to work in a clock factory? (淘气的男孩为什么想去钟表厂工作？)
10. What bird lifts heavy things? (什么鸟能举起重物？)
11. A ship can contain only fifty persons. Now there is alreadyforty-nine person in it. At t his time,apregnant woman comes on andboards the ship. The shipsinks. Why? (有一艘船只能容纳50人，现在已有49人。这时一位孕妇上了船，船就沉了。为什么？)
12. What's the poorest bank in the world? (世界的最贫穷的银行是什么？)
13. What month do soldiers hate?(军人憎恨什么月？)
Answers:
1. Silence. (沉默)
2. No, they won’t. They lie still after they die。(不会，他们依旧撒谎。Lie still 躺着不动，依旧撒谎。)
3. Your age. (你的年龄)
4. He wants to have a hot dog. (他想要一条热狗。)
5. Because someone will give her away. (因为有人会揭发她。Give away 揭发，在婚礼上把新娘交给新郎)
6. It has the most stories. (它的楼层最多。Story 故事，楼层)
7. The bridge of a nose. (鼻梁)
8. A whole world. (整个世界。 a world of difference 天壤之别)
9. They want to make faces. (make face 做鬼脸，做钟表面)
10. Crane. (鹤。Crane鹤，举重机)
11. Because is a pigboat. (那是潜水艇。pigboat，潜水艇)
12.The river bank。(河岸。)
13.March。(行军。)
佳作诵读
【开心阅读】
爱情的时间船Love and Time
Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it
was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so
all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.
很久以前，有一座孤岛，岛上住着所有的情感：快乐，忧伤，知识，以及剩余的其他感情，其中也包括了爱。有一天，情感们得知，这座小岛将要沉没，他们都开始建造船只准备离开。除了一个人，爱。
Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
爱是唯一一个选择留下的。它固执地想坚守到最后一秒。
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
当整座岛屿几乎覆灭时，爱决定向他人求助。
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,"Richness, can you take me with you?"
财富驶着一艘豪华游轮经过爱的身旁，爱恳求道：“财富啊，你能带上我么？”
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."
财富回答说：“不，不行。我的船上装满了金银珠宝。没有空地留给你啦。”
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
这时，爱的身侧，虚荣架着一艘靓丽的轮船缓缓驶来，爱决定向虚荣求助：“虚荣，求求你帮帮我吧！”
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my
boat," Vanity answered.
虚荣拒绝了：“我不能帮你，爱。你全身湿嗒嗒地，这会弄脏我心爱的船的。”
Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
爱向近在咫尺的忧伤渴求道：“忧伤，让我和你一起吧。
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"
”“噢。。。爱，我实在是太伤心了，我需要一个人静一会儿。”
Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.
快乐也从爱的身边驶过，但是她太高兴了，以至于完全没有听到爱的呼唤。
Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?" 突然，一个声音映入耳帘，“快上了，爱，我来载你。”原来是名年迈的长者。爱如闻天籁，兴奋不已，甚至忘了问问长者要他们要去往何方。当他们在一片干涸之地靠岸时，长者又踏上了自己的征程，独自前行。爱意识到自己亏欠老者甚多，她赶忙询问智慧老人，“帮助我的人是谁呀？”
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
知识静静地答道：“那是时间。”
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
“时间？”爱问道，“但时间为什么要帮助我呢？”
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time
is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."
知识微微一笑，饱含深意，回答说：“因为只有时间才知道爱的珍贵价值。”
端午传说:白蛇饮雄黄现原形的故事
There is a very famous traditional Chinese story that has a close connection to the Dragon Boat Festival. Once upon a time on E-Mei mountain there lived two snake spirits, White Snake and Green Snake. These snakes, being magical, turned themselves into beautiful maidens and set off on a journey to the West Lake of Hang Zhou.
另一个与端午节息息相关的中国传统故事是“白蛇传”。从前，在峨眉山上有两只蛇精，白蛇与青蛇。这两只蛇精运用法力将自己变成美丽的女子，并到杭州西湖游玩。
When they arrived at West Lake they met a man named Xu Xian. White Snake quickly fell in love with Xu Xian and they were soon married. A Buddhist monk, named Fa Hai, warned Xu Xian of his wife's deceptive appearance and suggested to him a plan.
当她们在西湖游玩时，遇到一位名叫许仙的男子，白蛇与许仙很快的相恋并且随即结婚。当时一位名叫法海的和尚，曾经警告许仙注意他妻子惑人的外表，并建议他一个揭开真相的计划。
On the day of the Dragon Boat Festival White Snake wished to stay home so as to avoid the Ay Tsao, used for protection from spirits, hanging on the doors of people's houses.Her husband prepared, according to Fa Hai's instruction, some realgar wine, as this was a tradition during the Dragon boat festival. White Snake, thinking her magic would protect her from the effects of the realgar wine accepted a cup. After she drank the wine she became very ill and was barely able to get to her bed.When her husband came to her side, he found not his wife but a huge white snake. So great was Xu Xian's shock that he fell to the floor dead.
端午节当天，白蛇待在家里以避开人们挂在门上驱邪的艾草，而许仙则依照法海的建议准备了大家在端午节时都会喝的雄黄酒。白蛇自认魔力可以抵挡雄黄酒对她的影响，因此喝了一杯。但是在她喝下那杯酒之後，她却变得精疲力竭，几乎走不到床上。当许仙回到白蛇身边，看到的不是自己美丽的妻子，而是一只巨大的白蛇，许仙震惊不已，从楼梯上摔死了。After recovering from the realgar wine and regaining her human form, White Snake was grief-stricken to find her husband dead.She set off on a journey
to obtain a potent medicinal herb, which could revive her husband. After returning and reviving her husband with the medicine, she explained to Xu Xian that the white snake he saw was actually a dragon and that this vision was indeed a very good omen. Xu Xian's fears were put to rest for the moment by his wife's fanciful story.
当白蛇恢复精力及人形时，她才发现自己丈夫已经身亡，因此白蛇外出寻找能使许仙起死回生的强效药草。许仙在服用药草，并起死回生之後，白蛇告诉许仙他看到的那条白蛇，其实是一只代表吉相的龙。而在那时，许仙也在白蛇引人入胜的故事中将恐惧抛诸脑后。
差距
John and Bobby joined a wholesale company together just after graduation from college the same year. Both worked very hard. After several years, however, the boss promoted Bobby to the position of manager but John remained an ordinary employee. John could not take it anymore, tendered his resignation to the boss and complained the boss did not know how to delegate and did not value hard working staff, but only promoted those who flattered him.
The boss knew that John worked very hard for the years. He thought a moment and said, "Thank you for your criticism, but I have a request. I hope you will do one more thing for our company before you leave. Perhaps you will change your decision and take back your resignation."
John agreed. The boss asked him to go and find out anyone selling watermelon in the market. John went and returned soon. He said he had found out a man selling watermelon. The boss asked how much per kg? John shook his
head and went back to the market to ask and returned to inform the boss $1.2 per kg.
Boss told John to wait a second, and he called Bobby to come to his office. He asked Bobby to go and find anyone seling watermelon in the market. Bobby went, returned and said, boss, only one person selling watermelon. $1.2 per kg, $10 for 10kg, he has inventory of 340 melons. On the table 58 melons, every melon weights about 2 kg, bought from the South two days ago, they are fresh and red, good quality.
John was very impresed and realized the difference between himself and Bobby. He decided not to resign but to learn from Bobby.
My dear friends, a more successful person is more observant, thinks more and explores in depth. Chances exists in the daily details. For the same matter, a more successful person sees more and farther so that he can find out an opportunity and catch it to realize his aim. If a person sees one year ahead, while another sees only tomorrow. The difference between a year and a day is 365times, how could you win?
约翰和博比同年大学毕业后，被同一家批发公司录用。他们二人工作都很努力。然而，几年后，老板提拔博比为部门经理，而约翰还是一名普通员工。约翰再也无法忍受，冲动之下写了一封辞职信，并抱怨老板不会用人，不重用那些敬业的员工，只提升那些奉承他的人。
老板知道这几年约翰工作确实很努力。他想了一会儿说：“谢谢你对我的批评。但是我只有一个请求，我希望在你离开之前再为公司做一件事情。或许到时你会改变决定，收回辞呈。”
约翰答应了。老板让他去市场找到一个卖西瓜的人。约翰去了并很快回来。他说他找到了一个卖西瓜的人。老板问他每公斤多少钱？约翰摇摇头，回到市场去问，然后又回来告诉老板每公斤1.2美元。
老板让约翰等一会儿，这时他把博比叫到办公室。他让博比去市场找到一个卖西瓜的人。博比去了，回来之后说：“老板，只有一个卖西瓜的人，每公斤1.2美元，每10公斤卖10美元。这个人一共有340个西瓜，其中58个放在货架上，每个西瓜重约2公斤，都是两天前从南方运来的，新鲜，红瓤，质量好。”
约翰受到很大的触动，他意识到自己与博比之间的差距。他决定收回辞呈并向博比学习。
亲爱的朋友们，成功的人更善于观察，勤于思考和孜孜探求。机遇就存在于生活的细节中。同样的一件事，一个成功的人会看得更多更远。有人看到一年后的情景，而你只看到明天。一年与一天的差距是365倍，你怎么能赢呢？
摘要：从前，有一位博学的老妇人，她住在后山。过去所有的孩子都经常来找她问问题。她总是有求必应。
There was once a wise old woman who lived back in the hills. All the children used to come back and ask her questions. She always gave the right answers. There was a naughty little boy among the children. One day he caught a tiny bird and held it in his cupped hands. Then he gathered his friends around. He said, "Let's trick the old woman. I'll ask her what I'm holding in my hands. Of course, she'll answer that I have a bird. Then I will ask her if the bird is living or dead. If she says the bird is dead, I'll open my hands and let the bird fly away.
If she says the bird is alive, I'll quickly crush it and show her the dead bird. Either way, she'll be wrong."
The children agreed that this was a clever plan. Up the hill they went to the old woman's hut.
"Granny, we have a question for you," they all shouted.
"What's in my hands?" asked the little boy.
"Well, it must be a bird," replied the old woman.
"But is it living or dead?" demanded the excited boy.
The old woman thought for a moment and then replied, "It is as you will, my child."
【中文译文】
从前，有一位博学的老妇人，她住在后山。过去所有的孩子都经常来找她问问题。她总是有求必应。
其中有一个调皮的小男孩。有一天，他抓到一只小鸟，双手捧住，然后把伙伴们叫到身边，说：
“咱们去哄一下那个老太太。我要问她我手里握着什么东西。她肯定会回答说我握的是小鸟。然后，我问她小鸟是活的还是死的。如果她说鸟是死的，我就张开手让小鸟飞走。如果她说小鸟是活的，我就马上用劲一捏，让她看到那只死鸟。不管用什么方法，她都说不对。”
孩子们都异口同声的说这是一个聪明的计划。他们爬上山，来到了老妇人的小屋。
“奶奶，我们要问您一个问题。”他们都大声说道。
“我手里是什么东西？”那个小男孩问道。
“噢，肯定是一只小鸟，”老妇人回答说。
“可是活的还是死的呢？”小男孩兴奋的问到。
老妇人想了一会儿，然后回答说：“孩子，这由你来决定。”
【妙语连珠】爱情宝典：
*1.在陷入情网的时候，有些人丢了头脑，另一些人丢了心。
When falling in love, some lose their head, others lose their heart.
2.幸福是良好的健康加上糟糕的记性。Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
3.唯有爱可以把黑暗囚在波港湾里。Love is the only thing that holds the dark at bay.
4.爱是两个人玩的双赢游戏。Love is a game that two can play and both win.
5.爱不是从相互凝视之中获得的，倒是可以由同朝一个方向眺望而产生。这是生活给予我们的教训。
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction .
6.一位父亲能为他的孩子做的最要紧的事是爱他们的母亲。
The most important thing a father can do for his children is loving their mother.
7.爱是无尽的宽恕，是惯常的温柔目光。
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
8.人在爱中超越自我。To be in love is to surpass oneself.
9.男人的爱情门户在眼睛，女人则是在耳朵。
Love enters a man through his eyes; a woman through her ears.
10. (对女人来说) 有三类男人：智慧的情人，尊荣的情人，势利的情人。
There are three classes of men: lovers of wisdom, lovers of honor, lovers of gain.
11.女人定规是要让人爱，而不是让人理解。
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
12.没有丑女人，只有不懂得如何使自己显出美丽的女人。
There are no ugly women; there are only women who not know how to look pretty.
13.想要别人爱你的话，就要去爱别人，做一个可爱的人。
If you would be loved, love and be lovable.
14.如果有人爱你，你就该做个值得人爱的人。If you be loved, be worthy of love.
15.具备爱的无知和笨拙胜过缺乏爱的智慧和技巧。
Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without love.
*16.不成熟的爱说：“我爱你，因为我需要你。”成熟的爱说：“我需要你，因为我爱你。”
Immature love says：“I love y ou because I need you。”Mature love says：“I need you because I love you"
17.爱不在深厚，乃在久长。Love me little, love me long.
18.没有信任就没有爱。Where there is no trust, there is no love.
19.总结过去，放眼未来，把握现在。
Learn from the past, look to the future. Live in the present.
20.快乐起来吧！快乐才是明智的。Be happy. It is a way of being wise.
21.喜剧是悲剧加上时间。Comedy is tragedy plus time.
22.爱是春天有植物，用它的生机使一切散发出芬芳气息，即使是它所处身的废墟，也充满了希望。
Love is a springtime plant that perfumes everything with its hope, even the ruins to which it clings
*23.不要轻视那无论何时总显得快乐无忧的人，有些事情是你所不懂的，而他懂。
Do not scorn the person who is perpetually happy. He does know something you don’t。
*24.我是一个理想主义者，我不知道将往何处，但我正在赶路。
I’m an idealist。I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way。
25.我只晓得一个责任，那就是施爱。I know of only one duty, and that is to love.
26.对于人类生存问题，唯一令人满意的答案是：爱。
Love is the only satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
27.真理一从人的嘴里说出来就走了样。
Truth is fiction when spilled from the lips of a man.
28.一个对爱保持清醒的人无法去爱。
People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.