从翻译释意理论角度看美剧《为人父母》(Parenthood)的翻译

新视野大学英语第4册Unit1课文翻译新视野大学英语第4册Unit1课文翻译下面是店铺搜集整理的新视野大学英语第四册读写教程第一单元的课文翻译，这一旦育德主题是“名声”，欢迎大家阅读!新视野大学英语第4册Unit1课文翻译篇1艺术家追求成名，如同狗自逐其尾，一旦追到手，除了继续追逐不知还能做些什么。

成功之残酷正在于它常常让那些追逐成功者自寻毁灭。

对一名正努力追求成功并刚刚崭露头角的艺术家，其亲朋常常会建议“正经的饭碗不能丢!”他们的担心不无道理。

追求出人头地，最乐观地说也困难重重，许多人到最后即使不是穷困潦倒，也是几近精神崩溃。

尽管如此，希望赢得追星族追捧和同行赞扬之类的不太纯洁的动机却在激励着他们向前。

享受成功的无上光荣，这种诱惑不是能轻易抵挡的。

成名者之所以成名，大多是因为发挥了自己在歌唱、舞蹈、绘画或写作等方面的特长，并能形成自己的风格。

为了能迅速走红，代理人会极力吹捧他们这种风格。

他们青云直上的过程让人看不清楚。

他们究竟是怎么成功的，大多数人也都说不上来。

尽管如此，艺术家仍然不能闲下来。

若表演者、画家或作家感到无聊，他们的作品就难以继续保持以前的吸引力，也就难以保持公众的注意力。

公众的热情消磨以后，就会去追捧下一个走红的人。

有些艺术家为了不落伍，会对他们的写作、跳舞或唱歌的风格稍加变动，但这将冒极大的失宠的危险。

公众对于他们藉以成名的艺术风格以外的任何形式都将不屑一顾。

知名作家的文风一眼就能看出来，如田纳西·威廉斯的戏剧、欧内斯特·海明威的情节安排、罗伯特·弗罗斯特或T.S.艾略特的诗歌等。

同样，像莫奈、雷诺阿、达利这样的画家，希区柯克、费里尼、斯皮尔伯格、陈凯歌或张艺谋这样的电影制作人也是如此。

他们鲜明独特的艺术风格标志着与别人不同的艺术形式上的重大变革，这让他们名利双收，但也让他们付出了代价，那就是失去了用其他风格或形式表现自我的自由。

名气这盏聚光灯可比热带丛林还要炙热。

美剧《为人父母》观后感美剧《为人父母》观后感看美剧《为人父母》，吵吵闹闹、喜怒哀乐的剧情不时让我眼中起雾，心里感动。

可怜天下父母心，爱孩子的爸爸妈妈哪怕是神经大条，都会极其敏感地捕捉到孩子眼中的一丝失落。

妈妈对孩子的爱之深沉，可转化成一种神奇的力量，将一个人彻彻底底地改变。

生娃前不管多爱美，生娃后为了奶水都可以大口啃猪蹄，一天吃八顿；单身时不管多娇弱，当妈后都可以变成金刚大力士，抱着孩子背着包，大步跑着赶火车。

有多少姑娘生娃前都像林黛玉，生娃后却更像女张飞。

就是这样，为了孩子，每个骄傲的姑娘都可能变成低声下气的妈。

《为人父母》中有一个自闭症男孩Max, 为了他的快乐和健康成长，父母可真是柔肠百转，倾尽了百分之二百的努力。

Max的同学Emily举办生日派对，全班大多数同学都收到了邀请卡，唯独Max和另外两个同学没有。

妈妈问他时，他说Emily不喜欢自己。

Max似乎并没有表现出多么难过，而妈妈知道儿子是很需要朋友，又是多么渴望得到朋友的认可。

对于自闭症孩子来说，每一次像正常孩子一样的交往都无比珍贵。

妈妈在儿子学校的走廊上拦住了Emily的妈妈。

说儿子没有收到邀请，是不是不小心漏掉了。

虽然，她心里明白被遗漏的可能性很小，但为了孩子，她依旧厚着脸皮去问。

对方略显尴尬，实话实说，不是漏掉了，是尊重女儿的意思，没有邀请Max和另外两位同学。

Max的妈妈并没有放弃，而是进一步想用一位母亲的用心良苦去感动另一位母亲，让她明白这样的邀请对孩子有多重要。

因此，她不担心别人对自己会不满，为了孩子，她想要尽最大努力。

对方又何尝不理解，但是她认为，女儿的生日一年只有一次，为了孩子的快乐，他们选择尊重她的意愿。

Emily的妈妈狠着心拒绝后离开，Max的妈妈一个人站在那里发呆忧愁。

这就是妈妈的心，都是为了自己的孩子，都为自己的孩子可以放弃自己的骄傲和面子，都抒写了深沉细腻的母爱。

Max妈妈并未放弃，为了儿子，她还想做最后的努力。

• • • • When parents are young 很年轻的父母 When parents are older 年长父母 When parents adopt 领养父母 When parents use assisted reproductive technology 使用生育辅助技术的父母
Adoptive Parents 领养父母
In the U.S., there are large numbers of infertile couples urgently seeking babies for adoption, while more than 85,000 children areentions of ART 辅助生育技术的主要形式
• Artificial insemination 人工授精 • In vitro fertilization
试管受精；试管婴儿；体外人工受精
(of a biological process) made to occur in a laboratory vessel or other controlled experimental environment rather than within a living organism or natural setting.
• Infertility was long assumed mother’s problem, however, 40-50% cases were due to men’s problems. Population who pursue ART • Infertility couples • Single women • Gay/lesbian couples
How is the transition different for adoptive parents?

[2012.05.19] The joys of parenthood: Father’s day 身为人父的快乐The joys of parenthood为人父母的快乐Father’s day父亲节Having children really does make a man more content with life拥有子女确实能让男人对生活更加满意May 19th 2012 | from the print editionWILL fatherhood make me happy? That is a question many men have found themselves asking, and the scientific evidence is equivocal. A lot of studies have linked parenthood—particularly fatherhood—with lower levels of marital satisfaction and higher rates of depression than are found among non-parents.父亲的身份能让自己幸福快乐吗？很多男人都会问自己这个问题，但是至今依然没有一个明确的科学解答。

很多关于父母身份（特别是父亲）的研究都显示，有子女的父母有着更低的婚姻满意度和更高的忧郁症比例。

Biologically speaking, that looks odd. Natural selection might be expected to favour the progeny of men who enjoy bringing them up. On the other hand, the countervailing pressure to have other children, by other women, may leave the man who is already encumbered by a set of offspring dissatisfied.从生物学角度来说，这有点奇怪，因为自然选择趋向于选择那些乐于带孩子男人的后代，反过来看，男性要和其他女性生育更多子女的压力可能会让那些已有子女的父亲感到不满。

从霍夫斯泰德的文化维度理论看中美家庭教育差异以《家有儿女》和《摩登家庭》为例一、本文概述随着全球化的加速和跨文化交流的日益频繁，家庭教育作为文化的重要组成部分，其差异性和共性逐渐受到人们的关注。

本文旨在通过霍夫斯泰德的文化维度理论，探讨中美两国在家庭教育方面的差异，并以中国情景喜剧《家有儿女》和美国情景喜剧《摩登家庭》为具体案例，进行深入分析。

通过对这两部具有代表性的家庭题材电视剧的对比，本文旨在揭示中美家庭教育中父母角色、教育方式、价值观等方面的差异，以及这些差异背后的文化根源。

霍夫斯泰德的文化维度理论，作为跨文化研究领域的经典理论之一，为我们提供了一个全面、系统的框架，用于分析和比较不同文化背景下的社会现象。

本文将运用该理论的四个核心维度——个人主义与集体主义、权力距离、不确定性规避和男性化与女性化，对《家有儿女》和《摩登家庭》中的家庭教育场景进行剖析，以期在跨文化视角下，增进对中美家庭教育差异的理解，并为家庭教育实践和国际文化交流提供有益的参考。

二、霍夫斯泰德文化维度理论概述霍夫斯泰德的文化维度理论是由荷兰心理学家吉尔特·霍夫斯泰德提出的一种跨文化研究框架，旨在解析和比较不同文化背景下的价值观和行为模式。

该理论通过五个核心维度——权力距离、不确定性规避、个人主义与集体主义、男性化与女性化、长期取向与短期取向，来全面揭示各国文化的深层结构。

权力距离指的是一个社会对权力分配不平等的接受程度。

在权力距离较大的文化中，人们普遍接受并尊重权威和地位差异，而在权力距离较小的文化中，人们则更加强调平等和公正。

不确定性规避涉及一个社会对模糊和不确定性的容忍度。

不确定性规避程度高的文化倾向于制定严格的规则和程序来避免混乱，而规避程度低的文化则更加灵活和开放。

第三，个人主义与集体主义维度描述的是文化中个体与集体之间的关系。

在个人主义文化中，个人的权利和自由至关重要，而在集体主义文化中，群体的和谐和利益则被放在首位。

辛普森一家观后感英语带翻译辛普森一家观后感英语带翻译《辛普森一家》是一部非常著名的美国情景喜剧，它以幽默风格和生动的角色形象而闻名于世。

这部剧集已经播出了多年，并赢得了广大观众的喜爱。

在我观看这部剧集时，我深受其中的笑料和反思所感动，并对故事中的人物产生了深刻的印象。

首先，我想提到的是剧集中的主角辛普森一家的成员。

霍默·辛普森是这个家庭的父亲，他是一个有些懒散、有点愚蠢却又爱家的人。

他常常犯一些傻事，但他对家人的爱永远是无私的。

马吉·辛普森是霍默的妻子，她是一个善解人意的母亲，总是能够在困难时期支持她的家人。

他们的三个孩子巴特、丽莎和麦琪各有各自的个性和特点。

这个家庭中的每个人都有自己的弱点和优点，他们的故事被诙谐地呈现出来，让观众时而发笑，时而深思。

剧集中经常以幽默的方式来描述社会现象和文化现象。

每一集都融入了一些社会政治讽刺和让人振聋发聩的笑话。

辛普森一家常常成为整个社会的缩影，他们所面对的问题和挑战也是现实生活中许多人所经历的。

剧集通过幽默的手法，揭示了社会中的不公和问题，让观众在欢笑中思考。

另一个令人印象深刻的部分是剧集中出现的各种有趣的角色。

斯普林菲尔德小镇上住着许多独特的人物，他们都有自己独特的个性和故事。

例如，邻居奈德·弗兰德斯是一个善良而虔诚的基督徒，他总是对他人慷慨和积极向上。

而布奇曼先生则是一个古怪的商人，他在剧中扮演了重要的角色。

这些角色的出现为剧集增添了额外的乐趣和张力。

此外，剧集还以一种温暖而真实的方式展现了家庭的重要性和团结的力量。

辛普森一家虽然经历了很多困难和冲突，但他们始终保持着对彼此的深厚的感情。

每当遇到困境时，他们总是能够互相支持和鼓励。

这种家庭的温暖和团结感是这部剧集的核心，也是观众所喜爱的原因之一。

最后，我想谈谈这部剧集的英语学习价值。

作为一部美国情景喜剧，剧集中充满了地道的美国英语和丰富的口语表达。

观看这部剧集可以帮助我们学习一些常用的英语短语和口语习惯用法，提升我们的英语听力和理解能力。

大学体验英语综合教程4课文翻译及可课后答案Unit 1A无名英雄：职业父亲意味着什么？在我们的孪生女儿出生后的第一次“约会”时，我和丈夫一起去看了一部名为《玩具故事》的电影。

我们很喜欢这部片子，但随后我丈夫问道：“父亲在哪儿呢？”起初我还认为因为一个小小的失误而批评一部很吸引人的家庭影片似乎是太偏狭了。

可后来越想越觉得这一疏忽太严重了。

父亲不仅没有出现，他甚至没有被提到——尽管家中有婴儿，说明他不可能离开太长时间。

影片给人的感觉是，父亲出现与否似乎是个极次要的细节，甚至不需要做任何解释。

新闻媒体倾向于把父亲的边缘化，这只是一个例子，它反映了在美国发生的巨大的社会变化。

大卫?布兰肯霍恩在《无父之国》一书中将这种倾向称之为“无需父亲”观念。

职业母亲（我想这应是与无职业母亲相对而言的）奋斗的故事从媒体上无尽无休地轰击着我们。

与此同时，媒体上绝大多数有关父亲的故事又集中表现暴力的丈夫或没出息的父亲。

看起来似乎父亲惟一值得人们提及的时候是因为他们做家务太少而受到指责的时候（我怀疑这一说法的可靠性，因为“家务”的定义中很少包括打扫屋顶的雨水沟、给汽车换机油或其它一些典型地由男人们做的事），或者是在他们去世的时候。

当布兰肯霍恩先生就“顾家的好男人”一词的词义对父亲们进行调查时，许多父亲都回答这一词语只有在葬礼上听到。

这种“无需父亲”综合症的一个例外是家庭全职父亲所受到的媒体的赞扬。

我并非暗指这些家庭全职父亲作出的承诺不值得人们的支持，我只是想指出在实际生效的双重标准：家庭全职父亲受到人们的赞扬，而家庭全职母亲和养家活口的父亲，所得到文化上的认同却很少，甚至完全得不到。

我们用来讨论父亲角色（即没出息的父亲）的话语本身就显示出人们对大多数男人默默无闻而自豪地履行对家庭承担的责任缺乏赏识。

我们几乎从来没听到“职业父亲”这一说法，在人们呼吁应该考虑给予工作者在工作地点上更大的灵活性时，很少有人认为这种呼吁不但适用于女子，同样也适应于男子。

―Expecting‖ a baby is quite different from ―having‖ a baby
Society, and our fantasies, tend to set up a romantic view of parenthood, creating unrealistic expectations about what will be involved.
好的关系 Positive Relationship
• 好的关系帮助夫妻成为充满爱和有效的父母 – 夫妻与各自父母的关系 – 夫妻间的关系 • 满意的夫妻关系来自于 – 对各自所承担的父母角色的认同：传统或平等 – 良好的沟通：彼此的想法，感受和需求（言语和非言 语沟通) • 关注事情的正面，关注行动，而非交换批评和愤怒 • 单亲家庭：家族成员和朋友圈的支持
• Validation of fertility and sexuality 确认自己的生殖
能力
• Anticipation; fantasizing about what it will be like 对孩子的期待 • Ambivalence or sense of being locked into changes (no turning back) 担心被拴住了 • Preparation 预备
New Fathers Typically Report 新做父亲的人通常报告：
• Sleep deprivation睡眠剥夺 • Need to adjust to new responsibilities 需要 调整新的责任 • Disruption of routines 日常生活规律打乱了 • Surprise at how much work a baby is 很吃 惊一个小孩子带来多少工作量 • Financial worries 经济压力 • Feeling their wife has less time for them 感 到妻子很少时间给他们

《为人父母》小朋友们，你们知道“为人父母”是什么意思吗？其实呀，就是指那些有了宝宝，成为爸爸或者妈妈的大人。

他们要照顾宝宝，关心宝宝的成长，可辛苦啦。

就像我的爸爸妈妈，他们每天早上都会很早起来，给我做早饭，送我去上学。

晚上下班回来，就算很累，也会陪我写作业，给我讲故事。

我的邻居叔叔阿姨也是这样。

有一次，他们的宝宝生病了，叔叔阿姨着急得不行，一晚上都没睡好，一直守在宝宝身边。

还有我的好朋友小明的爸爸妈妈，为了让小明能上好学校，每天努力工作赚钱。

他们会省吃俭用，给小明买学习用品，带小明出去玩，让小明开心。

为人父母真的不容易，他们要为孩子付出很多很多。

小朋友们，我们要爱自己的爸爸妈妈，因为他们是世界上最爱我们的人。

《为人父母》小朋友们，今天咱们来说说“为人父母”。

你们看，每天上学放学的时候，学校门口总是有很多爸爸妈妈在等着接自己的孩子。

他们有的站着，有的坐着，眼睛一直盯着校门，就怕看不到自己的宝贝。

我记得有一次下雨，我没带伞，心里正着急呢。

结果一走出校门，就看到妈妈站在那里，手里拿着伞，身上都被雨淋湿了。

妈妈看到我，赶紧把伞递给我，还问我冷不冷。

那一刻，我觉得妈妈真好。

还有我的同桌小花，她的爸爸每天都会陪她一起读书，帮她解决学习上的难题。

小花说，她的爸爸虽然工作很忙，但是从来不会忽略她的学习。

为人父母，就是要为孩子操心，给孩子温暖和爱。

小朋友们，我们要懂得感恩父母的付出哟！《为人父母》小朋友，“为人父母”这个词可有意思啦。

比如说，我的好朋友小刚，他有一次在学校摔了一跤，膝盖破了。

他的爸爸妈妈知道后，马上赶到学校，带他去看医生。

一路上，爸爸妈妈不停地问他疼不疼，眼里满满的都是担心。

还有我自己的爸爸妈妈，每次我过生日，他们都会精心准备礼物，做一桌子我喜欢吃的菜。

他们看着我开心的样子，也会笑得很幸福。

我的邻居叔叔阿姨，为了让孩子能有个好的生活环境，努力工作，省吃俭用。

孩子想要什么，只要是合理的，他们都会尽量满足。

为人父母英语作文100Being a parent is a profound and life-changing experiencethat brings with it a myriad of emotions, responsibilities, and challenges. It is a role that requires patience, love,and an unwavering commitment to the well-being of one's child. Here are some thoughts on the joys and responsibilities of parenthood:The Joy of Parenthood1. Unconditional Love: One of the most rewarding aspects of being a parent is the love that you give and receive. It is a love that is unconditional and boundless, shaping yourchild's world and your own.2. Witnessing Growth: There is immense joy in watching your child grow and develop. From their first steps to their first words, each milestone is a testament to the nurturing andcare provided by parents.3. Learning Together: Parenthood is also a journey of learning. As you teach your child about the world, you also learn from them. Their curiosity and fresh perspective can be enlightening.Responsibilities of Parenthood1. Nurturing: Parents are responsible for providing anurturing environment where a child feels safe, loved, and encouraged to explore and learn.2. Education: Education is a cornerstone of a child's development. Parents play a crucial role in their child's education, both academically and in life skills.3. Discipline: Setting boundaries and teaching discipline are essential for a child's development. It helps them understand right from wrong and learn self-control.4. Modeling Behavior: Children often emulate their parents. Therefore, it's important for parents to model the behavior they wish to see in their children.5. Support: Providing emotional support and encouragement is vital. Children need to know that they can rely on their parents during both good times and bad.Challenges of Parenthood1. Balancing Time: Juggling the demands of work and family life can be challenging. Parents must find a balance to ensure they are present for their children.2. Financial Strain: Raising a child can be expensive. Parents often face financial challenges as they strive to provide for their child's needs.3. Emotional Stress: The emotional ups and downs of parenting can be taxing. It's important for parents to seek supportwhen needed.4. Conflict Resolution: Disagreements between parents or with the child can arise. Effective communication and conflict resolution skills are necessary.ConclusionParenthood is a complex and rewarding journey that shapes not only the life of the child but also the parent's own life. It is a role that requires constant learning, adaptation, and growth. While it comes with its set of challenges, the joys and fulfillment it brings are immeasurable. Being a parent is about guiding, nurturing, and supporting a new life, and in doing so, parents often find their own personal growth and development.。

收稿日期：2020-10-27从目的论看美剧《小谢尔顿》的字幕翻译□ 李 琼 危秦亚武汉工程大学外语学院[摘 要] 随着全球化的不断发展，各国之间的跨文化交流也不断深入，人们可以轻松接触到不同国家的文化。

影视作品承载着国家文化，在文化传播中扮演着不可替代的角色，美剧是人们快速了解美国文化生活的方式之一，而且随着越来越多的美剧开始在中国流行，字幕翻译的质量也逐渐受到重视。

本文以目的论为指导，对美剧《小谢尔顿》中的字幕翻译进行分析，旨在帮助观众更好地理解剧情。

[关键词] 目的论；字幕翻译；《小谢尔顿》[中图分类号] H059 [文献标识码] A [文章编号] 1009-6167（2021）11-0036-03作者简介：李琼，教授。

研究方向：语用学、英语翻译。

危秦亚，硕士研究生。

研究方向：英语翻译。

随着全球化的发展，各国之间的文化交流愈加频繁。

影视作品在文化传播中起着非常重要的作用，而其中的字幕翻译则是文化传播中必不可少的桥梁。

作为观众观赏国外影视作品的重要途径，字幕翻译能够让观众更好地理解影视剧的剧情。

其中，美国情景喜剧台词幽默、情节巧妙、制作精美，受到了无数年轻观众的青睐。

美国情景喜剧的时长通常在半个小时以内，剧情简单，主要通过人物之间的对白创造笑点，推动剧情的发展。

本文的字幕译本选自“爱奇艺”视频播放平台，本文从目的论角度对该字幕译本的翻译策略进行探讨，分析字幕翻译所传递的喜剧效果，希望能提高观众的观剧体验。

1 目的论概述20世纪70年代，德国功能学派主要代表人物之一汉斯·弗米尔提出了目的论这一翻译理论。

目的论认为，“翻译是一种人类行为”，而“任何行为都具有目的”，所以“翻译是一种目的性行为”；目的论强调译者的主动性，打破了传统翻译服从原作的束缚，在一定程度上提高了译者的地位，为译者提供了更大的空间来选择不同的翻译策略（Newmark ，2006）。

根据目的论，翻译要遵循三个原则：目的原则、连贯原则和忠实原则。

How I Met Your Mother（《老爸老妈的浪漫史》）是一部以现代纽约市为背景的情景喜剧，主要讲述了一位名叫泰德的年轻人在五位充满个性的朋友的陪伴下经历了一系列婚姻、恋爱、友谊和职业生涯的故事。

这部剧以泰德向孩子们诉说自己的爱情故事为切入点，从而展开了一系列有趣而感人的故事情节。

《老爸老妈的浪漫史》这部剧集自2005年首播以来，便风靡全球，深受观众的喜爱。

它在全球范围内拥有庞大的观众裙体，堪称是情景喜剧的经典之作。

该剧集在不同国家和地区均取得了巨大的成功，受到了观众和评论家的一致好评。

该剧中穿插了大量对现代生活和友谊、爱情的深刻思考与讽刺，让观众在欢乐和笑声中感受到了生活的无常和真实。

通过泰德向孩子们叙述的方式，观众不仅能够感受到泰德对爱情的执着和追求，还能够了解到每位主要角色的性格特点和成长历程。

该剧的成功除了叙述引人入胜的故事情节外，还得益于优秀的演员阵容。

这部剧的主要演员均凭借精湛的表演功底和扎实的演技获得了观众的认可。

他们塑造了一裙充满灵性和个性魅力的角色，成为了该剧成功的关键因素之一。

该剧的幽默和幽默的叙述手法也是其魅力所在。

剧中角色之间的对话和互动充满了幽默和诙谐的成分，不仅能带给观众乐趣，还能引起大家对生活中一些重要话题的思考。

这种带着幽默的严肃和真诚的态度让《老爸老妈的浪漫史》成为了一部情景喜剧中的经典之作。

《老爸老妈的浪漫史》以其优秀的剧情、精湛的表演和深刻的思考赢得了众多观众的喜爱。

这部剧成功地塑造了许多深受观众喜爱的角色，并通过他们的成长故事展示了爱情、友谊和人生的真谛。

无论是年轻人还是成年人，都能从中获得灵感和启发。

相信这部剧集将会一直在观众心中占据重要位置，成为情景喜剧类作品的典范之一。

希望本文能够让读者更深入地了解《老爸老妈的浪漫史》，并为该剧的魅力所倾倒。

由于《老爸老妈的浪漫史》在全球范围内享有巨大的成功，它也在许多国家和地区进行了翻译和重新命名。

在我国大陆地区，这部剧被译为《老爸老妈的浪漫史》，而在台湾和香港地区，则被译为《青春泼辣爱》，让更多的我国观众能够欣赏到这部优秀的情景喜剧。

------------------------------------------01-------------------------------------------That's my baby?And that's its heartbeat?That's your baby, Amber.Good, strong heartbeat, good size, shape. Yeah, it looks good.Oh, god.You okay?Yeah.It's just overwhelming.It's a normal reaction.Your mom must be so excited.Uh...Actually, she doesn't know.Oh, and the father?Uh, he... He doesn't either.We're not together anymore, so...Amber, I have to ask...Is this a pregnancy you want?Uh...I know this is hard, Amber.But I'm your doctor, and I have to tell youthat if, for any reason,this isn't a pregnancy you want,you need to act sooner rather than later. Okay.Because it's getting close to the time that it's safe to start telling people.Sorry, could we listen one more time?Of course.Come on, one step at a time.- Come on. - Come on, you own this.- Come on. - You can do it.- Come on, come on. - Come on, Aida!Come on.- Keep going. - Yeah!Isn't she the best?- It's okay, honey. - Come here.I have a 9:15. - Oh, me too.Well, mine's with a client, so I cannot be late, And I think I should go in first.I got you.Why, you think it would be scandalousif you and I went to the office at the same time?I think they're lawyers, and they're smart,and they will figure it out.I think we should let them figure it out.I should've never let you go in law school.Maybe I let you go in law school.No, that's not the way I remember it.- Really? - No.What's happening? We just put this dress on.What? No, we didn't. You put this dress on.It's my job to take it off.You hear that?It's the sound of... Sweet froth,which I just learned how to make.- You know I hate cappuccino. - No, no, not the way I make it.Listen, what do you think for Ruby's bed there?Let's see. How old is she now, 14?15.Depressing sage or happy polka dots, I'm torn.This is sage?- It's depressing. - I'm gonna go with the polka dots. Yeah, the polka dots are nice.- I didn't think it was that depressing. - It's gonna change your mind.It's the drink of your people.Well, I hate it less. I hate it less. It's...- What is not to like? - I mean, you did good.It's me. It's me. I just don't...It's okay, you don't have to like cappuccino.- I love it. - Why don't you just stay?'cause this is getting me nervous.If you were here, it would be a lot easier.- She loves you. - Right.Well, that's why I'm leaving,'cause I think you could use some nice father-daughter time.I gotta go to vegas and do this. What?You don't know what you're doing.Yes, I do. I'm doing that.Anyway, she really liked me when I was your assistant.I don't know how Ruby's gonna feel about,you know, me as dad's girlfriend.I think she'll be excited about that.- She will be excited? - Yeah.Why haven't you told her?You told Sandy, right?I mean, not directly.- Sandy doesn't know? - Not yet.- Sandy's moving back to town with your daughter, - Yeah. - and she doesn't know what the situation is? - No, not yet.- I'm gonna tell her. - Okay.But I'm gonna wait till she's--Yeah, wait till it's good for her.She's intense. She's a very intense woman.You can't let her dictate this kind of stuff, you know.- There's nothing wrong with it. - She's not--nobody--You have a nice girlfriend who makes you nice cappuccino. - Why don't you just tell her? - Nobody dictates to me. - You know that. - Oh, no?Yeah. No. I'm gonna go.Is that all right?- See what I did? - You have permission.All right.Joe, we are opening our doors in two days.- We're doing the best we can. - I get that, but, I mean, You promised us that the work would be done.And there is no way that this is near done.- I think it looks terrific. - It looks terrific?Have you thought about having guys work in shifts, maybe get a crew working at night?- Yeah. - That is a great idea.It's not that easy to get guys to work nights.Plus, they expect time and a half.I told you guys this was gonna be a tight one.I am not following what you're saying here.You guaranteed us that you would be ready.I'm telling you, you know, I'm doing what I can.When the pope asked Michelangelowhen the sistine chapel would be done, he said, "When I can."You are not Michelangelo. Joe, hi.We have 39 kids walking through the door--- 38 kids. - 39.No, I'm not attending Chambers Academy.Very funny, Max. You're going to Chambers.We built this school for you.No, I'm sticking with homeschool.It's a great school.- We're not homeschooling. - Where are the nails?- You're coming to school here. - Do you know where the nails are?- Give me the hammer. - Don't give him nails.- Max. - I'm taking it.- This is for you. - We need to get this done.You built an entire school for your kid,and now he's not even going to it.- That's harsh. - It's none of your bus--He's coming to school here.My almond milk latte. Thank you.Thank you. Bring it on over.I'm gonna get the hammer.Max.Zeek.- Huh? - Look.Is this trite?No, no. It looks great, Millie.Yeah, I like it.- You'd say that. - Excuse me.You live in the city now.You have to lock your door.Any old person could just come walking in.Hey, what are you doing?Millie, look. It's Sarah bear.- Yeah, I know, I see. - Hi, mom.What are you doing, dad?Your father's growing cucumbers.Yeah, that's kind of what I'm doing.I got some cucumbers growing.Gonna be pickling pretty soon.You know, you can get those at the store.Huh?Well, I guess you're too busy to come with meon a surprise birthday trip to vegas then.I'm sorry, vegas is gonna have to wait, honey.Okay.Oh, hold it.- Are you serious? - Yes, I'm serious.Are you serious?- Really? - Yes.Oh, man.Hey, millie, what do you think?Your bag is already packed.- Happy birthday, Zeek. - Hey!- Well, we're going to vegas. - Whoo!We're going to vegas.Okay! This is great.- Oh, well, thank you. - What is it?It's a strip club. Let's go, come on.Come on, six.- Isn't it spectacular, Max? - Max, you gotta check this out. - It's awesome. - Your mom has a great idea. Oh, come on, man.You can carry more than three chairs at a time.Big big window, right?- Lots losts of open light and air. - The reason there's open spaceis because you haven't built any walls.- Boom, here it is. - Okay, we're gonna housesome of your student photos and students' artwork.We're gonna paint the wall.Yeah, you can paint that any color you want. Battleship gray, fatigue green.You can do a blue if you want to do a blue.- I see what you're doing here. - What are we doing? You're trying to get me excited about this schoolby letting me pick the color of this wall.But it's not going to work,because I don't care about the color of this wall,nor do I care about color in general.Okay, Max, listen to me, it's not just about the wall.We want you to be excited to go,- because this isn't gonna be like your old school. - Not at all.None of that stuff that happened there is gonna happen here.I like homeschooling. I get my work done faster,and I don't have to worry about the other kids slowing me down.You don't have to worry about the other kids here, except that they're gonna want to be your friends.I don't need friends. I have Hank.Okay, you have Hank, honey. But you need other kids. You need friends that are your age, okay?- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.I'm going to homeschool and working at Hank's studio in the afternoons.I've decided.- Max, we have to-- - Can I go have a slice of- Okay, we're gonna talk about this more later. - We're not-we're not done.I don't look forward to that.- All right. - Where's the banana bread?- Yeah. - I ask you a question, I expect a response. Whatever. I responded.I don't think that a shrug is a response.- It sort of is. - But it's not.- Hey, Ruby. - Hi.- Hey. - Bye.Excuse me, I will leave when I feel like leaving.- Ruby, hey. - Hey.What's going on? Anybody--who's thirsty?You want something to drink? I got the--You know, I got the lemonade, the fizzy kind that you love. You love that.Like, eight years ago.True. Yeah, that was a while ago.So if you don't want that, we'll get something else then.No, no, no, no, no. Don't let her do that.Your dad bought you the lemonade fizzy stuff that you like.You suck it up, and you drink it.- I'm not gonna drink it. - She doesn't have to drink it.- No, she can drink it. - It's gross.I'll drink it; I kind of like it.But forget about it.- What do you think of this, though? This is... - It's nice. Where do I put my crap?You can--I got a bedroom right there.You can put all your crap in there.Everything's all set up.You're welcome.- Wow, huh? - Sweet.It's, you know--She's a joy.Well, that's teenagers, right?Yeah.Not bad, right?You have a cappuccino machine.Yeah, that's correct.You hate cappuccino.No, that's not true.I think I had a bad batch that one time you tried.- Yeah. - For three years.You know, I don't want to hate anything anyway, it's--- but anyway, you look good. - Thank you. Thank you.I feel like a freaking mess.- Well. - I should go, actually.I have a ton of stuff to do.I'm gonna look at a rental,because right now we are living out of a hotel room, which I cannot afford.Yeah, I know. Listen,anything you want me to do?You want me to help you in any way, just let me know. Thank you.- I appreciate it. - That's all right.Oh, my god, gross.Whose underwear are these?Okay, listen, where were they?- They were in the drawer. - Well, I don't know.Why are you looking in the drawer?I thought it was my room.It's your room. It's not your drawer.I'm gonna-- I'm gonna go.Okay, I'll call you. We'll talk.- We should talk. - It's gonna be great.- Thank you. - I'm exhausted.- I'll be in my room. - All right.Do you want any lunch?I got lunch.I'll wrap it up.- France. - Yeah.That's awesome. We should do a semester abroad.- Yeah, we should. I could try. - It would be a blast.You should.Amber, have you been to Europe?Nope. Never have.You should go. It's gonna be really cool.The only thing is, like, Lauren's gonna be in Prague,so I have to take a train to see her,and I honestly don't feel like I'll do that very often, because it's too much money.- Yeah, not a train to Prague. - You guys will figure it out. It's just a train ride.I just don't have any money, like...- That's just terrible. - I know.It sounds like a fairy tale.- I know, I'm just stressed. I just hope we see each other. - Yeah.- No, that's understandable, that sounds rough. - Yeah. Sorry, I don't have the energy to be complaining about Europe,so I'm gonna get water.Wait, Amber.Are you serious?I was talking about it for, like, one second.I don't know.That's very weird.- It feels like it's okay. - I got it.Okay.All right.Okay, pretty good.I think it needs to come up on the left a little bit.- Hey. - Oh, shoot.- Hi, guys. - Joel.- Camille. - Painting reinforcements.- Good to see you. - You too. You look amazing.You guys need smocks or something,and then you can get to work.- Hey. - Hey.So...- Thursday. - Yeah, I guess I'll see you Thursday for pick-up.- Okay, cool. - All right.- Bye, dad. - Love you.- Love you. - See you.Hey, holy Joel-skis. How are you?- Hey. Hey! - Hi.- How you doing? - Great.- How are you? Yeah. - Haven't seen you in forever.- You look awesome. - Well, thanks.- Thank you. - Wow, you're looking great.Hi, guys. The kids are upstairs,if you want to start painting with them, that would be awesome.- Oh, they're pumped. - Thank you, guys, for doing this. I appreciate it.- So two days out, huh? - Thanks.How you feel?Feeling good.Not really. I am scared,And we have a lot to do.So it's gonna--yeah.- Okay. - We're okay.- We're... - Yeah? Are you?Hey, you could be the answer to our plumbing problems. Probably, or a lot of problems.Just wondering if you could maybe stay,and maybe you could--I was gonna order lunch for everybodyif you wanted to hang out with--You need some help?Yeah, I'd be happy to.I need a lot of help.- Yeah. - That would be amazing.It's--the plumbing, particularly,is in pretty bad shape.It's really bad. It's really bad, so...I got some tools in the truck. I'll be right back.- Really? - Yeah.That would be wonderful. If you have any men... Well, not in the truck.- But I'll make a few calls. - That's awesome.Sure.All right, I'm gonna go check on the kids.Thank you, guys.I mean, I'm happy if you're happy,but I miss the house, don't you?- No, not really. - No?You don't miss working on your cars- in the garage and stuff? - No.- No? - A little bit.- A little bit? - Mm-hmm.I just never thought--oh.- Hit me, please. - Excuse me, honey.Can we stop chatting? I need to--I'm not chatting, dad. I'm bonding.- Well, I can't talk rightnow. - Why?Are you counting cards, dad?Ben Affleck got in a lot of trouble for that.- Would you like to hit, sir? - Dad, do you want another card?Dad? Are you--dad!I...I can't tell you that yet, mom.We're at the hospital right now,And the doctor's gonna see him right away.- And I'll let you know. - Don't let her worry, honey.Dad says don't worry.- No, he's awake. - Millie, I just stood up too fast, that's all.He stood up too fast. Put that back on.Colonel Mustard in the library with a knife.So very interesting.What did he show you?I'm not going to tell you.But I'll get revenge on you.- Not if I get it first. - Oh, will you?No, you won't.No, don't get that.- Mom! Don't hold up the game, mom. - Let me just check it really quickly.It's grandma.- Oh, that's gonna take forever. - I have to answer it. Can you get the door?- Yeah, I got the door. - Thank you, Victor.No, I'll make it quick.Hi, mom. I'm good.I am in the middle of a very heated game of clue,- So why don't I call you in-- - Left something at our place. What?- Hey. - Hi.What--what do you me-- what do you mean?Okay, wait, okay, so where-- what do you mean?Is--where is he right now?Is he okay?Okay.Okay, okay.Mom, it's okay.Just--well, call me if you hear anything.I'm gonna call Sarah right now, okay?Come on, mom.All right, I'm gonna call her right now.It's your turn.Okay, okay, I'm coming.Everything okay?- My dad collapsed. - What?- I don't-- - Is he--I don't know.Sarah took him to vegas for his birthday and then...I don't know if it's a heart attack or what.- You need to go? - So...- You need to go. - Yeah. I--yeah.My mom's really upset.- I should-- - yeah.- Okay. - Go.- Okay. - Okay.Hey, your mom has to step out for a little bit,So I am gonna make you guys some dinner tonight.- Can you make tacos? - Here?Yes.Okay. The bad news is,I happen to be the world's greatest clue player.- No, you're not. - So that's the bad news.That's why I beat you, like, the last....- Okay, back off. Back off. - Dad.- Sir... - No, really.When you fell, did you pass out?No, I don't know. I mean...Hey, when am I gonna get a chance to see a doctor here? I'm the on-call doctor, sir.- What are you, like, 14? - Dad.No, I'm not 14.So don't worry.- Were you there when he fell? - Yeah.She was there.Could you tell if he lost consciousness?Yeah, I don't think so, right, dad?I think he just kind of- got a little disoriented. - Got a little dizzy.- But-- - I stood up too fast, that's all.Okay, what did you feel before you passed out?I felt like I had a great hand.Dad, that's not what he's asking.I mean, like, physically.Did you have any chest discomfort?Not sure, really.Dad. He has a heart condition. He takes pills. What are you--Tell him what the pills are. What are the pills?Got nothing to do with this.No, no, I'll need the specifics of that.Did you have any visual changes, headaches?Oh, my god, I got a little warm, all right?Okay. Had you been drinking?Well, hell yeah, I'd been drinking.This is vegas, for pete's sake.Jeez, it's no big deal, honest.It was just a little dizzy spell.- Okay. - What are you doing?I'm glad you're feeling better, mr. Braverman.We're just gonna take a few tests,try to get to the bottom of what happened, okay? - I'll be back. - Thank you.Give me a 12 lead,325 milligrams of aspirin, and an echo.Okay. Will do, doctor.Oh, just one second.Excuse me, sorry.So did he have a heart attack?I don't know.- We'll find out, though. - Hey, hey, hey.I can hear you over here.- Dad. - He's in good hands.Thank you.They don't know anything yet.They're still doing tests.Adam, could you please talk to the doctor yourself?I mean, I know Sarah's there.But you're always so great in a crisis.- Sweetie. - Hi.You didn't have to come over here.Julia's here.Okay, you'll call me, though, right,as soon as you talk to her? Okay, great.Love you too. Bye.Can't believe this is happening.No, it's okay. Everything's okay.- Yeah? - He's in a good hospital.- Oh, good. - A very good hospital.And he never lost consciousness, so that's good.- And Sarah's there, so... - That's good?- You want something to drink? - No, I'm fine.- So... - So what are you doing here?- Where are the kids? - I just came for you.I mean, Joel was over.He came over right when you called,So he's with the kids.Joel. It was so good to see him.He looks great.You mentioned that more than once.And Kristina told me that he was up practically half the night at the school, fixing the plumbing.Yeah, I heard that too.Yeah, so you two are talking.No, not really.So what hospital is he at?- Sunrise. - Okay, Sunrise.But I saw the way he looked at you, you know.And I got the sense that he may finally be coming around. Well, he may have waited too long.Oh, come on. Meaning what?Meaning I waited for him for a very long time,and I had to stop waiting, and I'm trying to live my life. Hey, I know headstrong men, right?I know it can be very frustrating.But when you have someone like Joel, you know,you don't give up on him.Okay, how about I take care of you?Which is what I'm here to do.- You have a seat. - I'm okay!Let me get you something to drink.What do you want to drink?- You don't want this, do you? What do you want? - I'm okay.It's okay? Pasta hot enough?Yep.Moving back, right?- Looks like it. - Yeah.Full circle.How's things?Life?Life?I don't know, fine.- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.School? How--how's school?- You know. - How about your friends?That must've been hard, leaving them in Minnesota.It's fine.Just fine? That's it?Pretty much.Yeah.Your initial work-up looks negative for a heart attack.- Thank you. See? - Oh, yeah, huh?- Do I know my body or what? - Good job, dad.I told you.Okay, honey, we're out of here.Oh, no, sir. Not yet, sir.- I'm not discharging you. - You're not?No, your electrocardiogram results were fine.But we're waiting on the results of your echo.Oh, no, you don't understand, doctor.I told you, I had a few too many martinis,- and I got up too fast. - Listen to him, dad.How long would that take?Well, just to be sure,I want our attending cardiologistto see you tomorrow.He might recommend further tests,possibly a coronary catheterization.- Huh? - What's that?A liquid dye is injectedinto the arteries of your heart through a catheter.We usually go in through the leg or the groin.You're not going anywhere near my groin.- It's a possibility. - No, you're not doing it. What do you want?I'll be right back.- Hi, it's not a good time. - I want to talk to the doctor. Mom wants me to talk to the doctor.It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.Tell mom to relax, okay? I'm handling it.Nobody's saying you're not handling it, Sarah.- Tell him they're gonna try to get into my groin, okay? - Sarah,- is that dad? - I want to get out of here.Of course, he's dad. He's being dad.No, you got to make sure that he listens to those doctors. - I've got to go. Bye. - Or I'll rip it out myself.- Dad, please. - If you sign out against our recommendation,you'll have to sign an ama formthat says you're refusing treatmentand take responsibility for any repercussions.- Dad, come on. It's not... - No.There is nothing to talk about.You go get the form.Here's the way it's gonna work, all right?I'm gonna leave here.And then eventually, I will see my doctor.But right now, I am gonna spend my birthday- with my daughter in vegas. - Just calm down.And we're having a great time.Do you think I'm gonna spend my time here- in this rinky-dink hospital... - Dad, dad,- lower your voice,okay?Dad,stop. - with a doctor that's barely 18 years old?- You're crazy. Go get the form, - I'm sorry. OK.- All right. Okay, all right, okay. - or I'm gonna rip this out of my arm myself.- Maybe get the form. - I'll have the nurse write--Thank you.Dad.Now it's going straight to voice mail.Ringing or just going straight to voice--- Straight to voice mail. - So she turned her phone off.It's not ringing, yeah.- She's avoiding you. - Can you believe that Sarah hung up on me?Yes, I absolutely can believe that Sarah hung up on you. - What? - She orchestrated a trip to vegas--I don't have any access to our father.- It's unacceptable. - You don't talk to me, mr. Vegas?- You just leave me on clue. - This is what you're gonna focus on?Our father's having a medical emergencywith my least-qualified sibling--my second least-qualified sibling.And I don't even know what hospital he's in. Sunrise.How would you know he's at Sunrise?I've had a few different medical emergencies- while on trips to vegas. - Yeah? Like what?I had bad, bad food poisoning once.- and then I had some body glitter caught in my eye. - Las vegas, please.And then I had a wird rash from someone's perfume.- Sunrise hospital. A rash from whose perfume? - And I have...- A performer's perfume. - You know what, this is dumb. Dad collapsed, he's in vegas. Let's go.- We're gonna find him. - Yes, let's go!Stopping at the atm.- Let's get the hell over there. Yeah. - No, we're not gambling.What are we doing?Watching paint dry.I don't like metaphors.It's not really a metaphor, Max.We are literally watching paint dry.Hey, bud?I know what happened last year was so incredibly painful--- They peed in my canteen. - I know.And it was so awful.It was.And you know, that's part of the reason whyyour dad and I dreamt of creating a school like this...So that every kid could come to school and fit in,not be afraid.Never be bullied. Ever.And we don't want this school just to be,you know, an okay place.We want it to be a place where everybody can just be happy.We want it to be wonderful.But we're gonna need your help.You should've asked me first.I'm not gonna be attending Chambers Academy.I like watching paint dry.- Hey, can I come in? - Hey.What's up?I am kind of upset with you, and I wasn't gonna say anything,but I don't want to be passive-aggressive.And I just feel like you're treating melike I'm some girl that you don't even really knowand can't make time for.And it's, like, I love you, and I want to hang out with you, and you're really hurting my feelings.I'm pregnant.Oh, my god. Oh, my god.Amber.What?Is this good or bad?You tell me.Okay.Who else knows?Just you.Are you kidding me?Oh, my god.- Okay, let's--you're not doing anything right now, right, are you? - No.Okay, I'm just gonna stay here.Do you have, like, wine or, like--Okay, you can drink, like, tea, right?That's, like, a calming thing that people do.So, um...Do you want boy or girl tea?Sarah. Sarah. Sara...- You've got to be kidding me that the two of you are here. - Where's dad?- I told you I could handle this myself. - Where's dad?He's in his room, asleep.He's not in his room. He better not be in his room.- If he's there then there's trouble. - We were just knocking on his door.Are you sure you had the right room?- Look, right here? - You're sure he's in here?Yeah, well, he promised me he would tell me if he went anywhere.I don't know where else he would be.- Dad. - Okay, we already did this.- We gotta get in this room. - Dad.All right, hold on a second. Hey, excuse me.We're worried our father might be inside and unconscious.Could you open the door for us, please?- Maybe he's taking a nap with earplugs in. - Thank you. - Yeah, maybe he has earplugs in. - We're not criminals, we promise.- Thank you. Dad? - Thank you very much.- Hey. - Is he in there? No?He's not even--- Okay, I'm gonna get my-- - Sarah, what the hell?What do you mean, what the hell?I don't know, do you guys think we should split upor just keep on looking?Well, look for cigar smoke and listen for swearing.I told him to stay in his room, I swear.All right, well, we'll check with hotel security.- They can check all the hospitals and precincts. - Well, I've called them.You're not gonna have to check anywhere.Look at this, 12:00.- Hey. - Hey, dad.- Oh, look who's here. - Dad.- Dad. - What the hell are you doing?Oh, it's part of my birthday surprise.- No. - This is not a birthday surprise.We're on a rescue mission here.You told me you were staying in your room.You checked yourself out of a hospital against doctor's orders?- We were scared. - Honey, I didn't want to wake you.- I mean, come on, jeez. - Dad, you scared us half to death. Can we stay a little positive here? I mean, what the hell? When do we get a chance to be in vegas together?We're not in vegas together. Let's get out of here.No, we're not getting out of here.I'm gonna be splitting those eights, here we go.- No. No, no, no, no. - Stop that.- No more gambling. - Stop that. I'm splitting.- Don't bet, dad. Come on. - Crosby, what do you do with eights?You got to split eight.。

Parenthood为人父母引言：孩子确实点亮了一个家，他们从未熄灭过一盏灯。

ParenthoodIf it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere - and hide the keys to the car.The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.God gave you two ears and one mouth.... so you should listen twice as much as you talk.There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother’s age.Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.A alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don’t have small children.No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost.People hardest to convince that it’s time for retirement are children at bedtime.Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.为人父母如果为人父母是件容易的事，那么“辛劳”二字就无从谈起！对着孩子大吼大叫让他们听话就像开车时为了开道而拼命按喇叭，二者殊途同归。

派对克莱拉5岁的最后一天母性你好拉蒂Hello, Lady.伊蒂丝你还好吗Edith? You okay in there?很好亲爱的我很好Yes, dear, I'm fine.你需要买♥♥什么吗Do you need anything from the store?快点孩子们Hurry up, guys.克莱拉你快迟到了Clara! You're going to be late for school!也许买♥♥点橙汁Orange juice, perhaps.拉蒂要吃的吗Does lady need food?我不知道I don't know.好吧我关门了伊蒂丝Okay, well, I'm closing the door now, Edith.开着不安全It's not safe to leave it open.我家容易着火'cause I live in a firetrap.快点Come on.咱家不是火灾隐患是藏宝之地It's not a firetrap. That's a treasure trove.如果那堆50年前的破烂家具算是宝藏的话If stacks of stuff dated from the '50s count as a treasure trove. 他们就是Oh, they do.艾弗里你今天必须把车移走记得吗Avery, you're gonna have to move the car today, remember? 好的Right.你和卢卡斯坐进去占好我们的车位You sit in it with Lucas and hold our spot...-我走着送克莱拉去上学 -好的- And I'll walk clara over. - Right.好了Okay!快点宝贝Oh... come on, sweetie.大家小心Careful, guys.大家小心Careful, guys.我上周不是把这些都清理了吗Didn't I just clean this out last week?你瞧看那些书Hey, check it out. Look at those books!我们可以在妈妈发现前弄过来Think we can get them before mom notices?别艾弗里千万别No, Avery, please.家庭第一为大家着想Put your family's best interest first. Think of the common good. 我就是在为大家着想That's exactly what I'm doing.我就是在为大家着想That's exactly what I'm doing.好吧我们进车里Okay, in the car we go.我能涂点吗Can I have some?早安Bonjour.我希望我也是法国人I wish I was French, too.明天是我的生日我就要6岁啦It's my birthday tomorrow. I'm gonna be six!我今晚要办派对And I'm having my party up there tonight!是吗在你家里吗Really? In your apartment.我6岁生日的时候我家办了木偶表演For my sixth birthday, we had a private marionette show.我会有10个朋友来玩I'm gonna have 10 friends!我七岁生日是在瑞典的小屋过的My seventh was at the Swedish cottage.一开始我妈妈说只能请6个朋友来First, my mom said I could only have six friends因为我就要6岁了Because I'm gonna be six.之后奇缘餐厅送来了冰冻热巧克力Then, Serendipity 3 delivered frozen hot chocolate.之后我爸爸说服妈妈请10位小朋友来我们家But then, my dad talked her into letting me have 10.之后在夕阳西下的中♥央♥公园里Afterwards, my friends and I got carriage rides我和朋友们一起坐四轮马车in central park at sunset.我会有一个三层的蛋糕还有紫色的糖霜I'm gonna have a triple layer cake, with purple frosting. 我还会有很棒的礼品包And I'm gonna have really cool goodie bags,是不是妈妈Right, mom?不是又要礼品包了吧Not the goodie bags again.艾丽莎你真勇敢Eliza, you are brave.是吗为什么这么说Really? How so?看看你的生活Just to live as you do, you know?住这么高有两个孩子车还有狗The stairs, the children, the car, the dog.一定累死了不是吗It's a bit exhausting, no?这就是你对勇敢的定义Is that your definition of "brave"?艾丽莎过来帮我开下车门Eliza, could you give me a hand with this buckle?妈妈你忘记我的背包了Um, mom, you forgot my backpack,我在选择时间之前一定要用到它And I definitely need it before choice time.好的Okay.艾丽莎你是不是Eliza, are you...?穿的睡衣?Are you wearing your nightgown?我真的要这样吗Has it really come to this?我艾丽莎·K·韦尔奇That I, Eliza k. Welch,在邻居的大房♥子面前Find myself humiliated in my nightgown穿着睡衣被羞辱in front of my neighbor's townhouse?我丈夫带着克莱拉去旁边的学校上学My husband has run Clara around the corner to P.S. 3, 而我只有9分钟的时间写作and I have exactly nine minutes to write.一个母亲如何在那么短的时间内How can a mother articulate her ideas将智慧和信念结合with anything approaching wit or conviction清楚的表达出她的想法in such ridiculously tiny wedges of time?比约恩的身份艾丽莎·K·韦尔奇又是扎克他妈Oh, it's Zachsmommy again."不要再抱怨了萨卡塔他妈"Quit complaining, Sanctamommy!没人有时间去抱怨No one has any time.等孩子们上了大学Save your quest for self-expression再去想怎么表达自己吧"until the kids go off to college."是不是仅仅因为变成妈妈Must a woman's soul wither and die女人的灵魂就该枯萎干涸simply because she opted to become a mother?我想洗完衣服也想写出复杂的语句I want to finish the laundry and a complex sentence,想思考深刻的人生哲理to think tantalizingly deep thoughts同时又为我女儿准备奇妙的生日派对and throw a magical birthday party for my daughter.难道这样的要求真的很高吗Is that truly too much to ask?明天克莱拉就6岁了Tomorrow, Clara turns six.转眼四年过去她就该十岁了She's more than half way to double digits.12年以后会去上大学She'll be going to college in 12 years.我曾想那会是很长的一段时间That used to seem like a long time.现在一眨眼的功夫就过完了Now I can blink, and it'd be over.你好妈妈"说出你的想法成为我们常驻的妈妈专家"speak your mind and become our resident mom-ologist写出你独有的专栏with your very own column,一月可以挣3000美元worth up to 3,000 dollars a month!亚军可获得1000美元Runners-up receive either 1,000 dollars或者免费参加专为麻辣妈妈们or an all-expense paid trip to this year's Mamapalooza,准备的妈妈狂欢节"the festival for moms who rock."不是开玩笑吧You've gotta be kidding me."只需提交一篇500字的'母性的意义'即可""just send us 500 words telling us what motherhood means to you." 天啊Oh, my God!太好了It's perfect!不会吧Oh, no.朋友们都过来Folks, coming up,我们将要参观的是We're going to see the historic former米莱(美国著名女诗人)的故居home of Edna St. Vincent Millay.首先准备好照相机But first, get those cameras ready...借过Excuse me.这里是居民区不是主题公园This is a neighborhood, people, not a theme park.给她拍张照片给她Get her picture! Get her...!"这里为人所熟知并倍受青睐""Here's the corner we all know and love from friends."不过里面的所有影像照片Though, whenever you see an inside shot,都是在洛杉矶的摄影棚里拍摄的That was actually filmed on a soundstage in Los Angeles.快点孩子快点跟上Hurry, kids! Hurry! Come on!你好希拉希拉Hey! Sheila! Sheila!你好出什么事了宝贝Hi! What's shakin', babe?我的眉毛不会像琼·克劳馥(美国女演员)吧Do I have Joan Crawford eyebrows?我用铅笔随便一画然后也没看I applied pencil like it was magic marker, and I didn't check. 告诉我实话Tell me the truth.不很好看看起来喜洋洋的No, they look good. They're, 'ya know, zesty.喜洋洋的?Zesty?我必须把这个在选择时间之前给克莱拉送去I have to have this in Clara's classroom by choice time,不然我就成了坏妈妈or it's sudden death for bad mommy.-你和我一起进去吗 -好- Will you walk with me? - Sure.你要我Hey, do you want me载克莱拉一起回家吗to pick up Clara and bring her with us?特里克希会高兴死的'cause I know Trixie would love it.我以为乔尔会在周五看孩子But I thought Joel had the kids on Fridays.他在圣达菲Oh, he's in Santa fe.又在追求另一个野蛮女友Oh... chasing another new wild potter?不知道也许吧无所谓I don't know. Maybe. Who cares?我得赶紧做这件事对不对I've really gotta go for this, right?我是说我有种强烈的感觉I mean, there's something validating去找一份真正的工作about having a real job, you know?我想了很久了It's been awhile.对你肯定想要赶紧Yeah, there's definitely something找一份真正的工作validating about having a real job.那可比照顾孩子I mean, especially one that actually pays you more赚得多多了than the childcare required to do it.你还想了很久And it has been a while.你确定自己准备好You sure you're ready to move远离零食的生活了beyond entourages of organic snacks?当然Completely!这能给我一次机会让我知道I mean, it gives me a chance to explore what it really means 成为妈妈的真正意义以前从没人说过to become a mother, and nobody talks about this stuff.睡眠权利的剥夺The sleep deprivation,臭味不停的洗刷性♥欲♥的渴望the funks, the non-stop cleaning, the death of lust.能看出来 Lunchbox(育儿杂♥志♥)销量巨大I can see Lunchbox magazine flying off the stands.我的头条就是"做最真实的自己"Here is my first head line "Do Thy Known Shalth Be True"不要生孩子Don't breed.太晚了Too late.嗨特里克希Hi, Trixie!该死Shit!-怎么了 -艾弗里忘记带库邦散步了- What? - Avery forgot to walk Coupon!真该死Shit is right.赶快回家否则你家地毯上就会有好看的了You better get home, or you're gonna find a deposit on your rug. 艾弗里?Avery?艾弗里Avery.艾弗里Avery.这些东西让人吃惊真的This stuff is incredible, really.艾弗里你今早是不是忘了件事Uh, Avery, um, did you forget something this morning?什么What?我不知道它是我们第一个孩子记得吗I don't know, it was essentially our firstborn, you know?就是会大小便失禁的那个The one with the incontinence issues?哎呦对不起Oops, sorry.这是英语词汇里最常被滥用的一个Single most abused word in the English language.是"哎呦"还是"对不起""oops" or "sorry"?好吧还是我跟卢卡斯一起你去带库邦散步All right, so I'll stay with Lucas, and you go get Coupon.不不不别这样Oh, no, no, no. You can't do that.我9点半有个主编会议I got an editorial meeting at 9:30.如果现在不走就赶不上了If I don't leave now, I'm never gonna make it.不行不行你从没告诉过我No, no, no, no! You never told me that!我说了今早上说的Yes, I did. I told you this morning你当时正在给克莱拉梳头while you were combing Clara's hair.别担心我1点就回来Don't worry, I'll be back by 1:00.不行 1点太晚了No, but 1:00 is too late!库邦会憋不住的I don't think Coupon can hold it till then,他又不能遛自己and he can't walk himself他自己下不了楼because he can't make it down the stairs anymore.我的天Holy moly!那你今天取钱了吗Did you go to the cash machine at least?艾丽莎希望你不要再说我了好像我无药可救Eliza, I wish you would stop talking to me like I'm impaired. 我取钱了Yes, I did.我不对不起好吗I... no... I'm sorry, okay?今天我想做点事情很不可思议的事There's just something I want to do today. It's incredible.就是写点很适合It's this writing thing, which could我现在处境的东西be just perfect for me and...我想我还是自己想办法吧I guess I'll just figure out how to get it all done by myself.-再见 -再见- Bye! - Bye!走了Oh, come on.抱起你了I got ya!橙汁Orange juice.伊蒂丝我忘记给你买♥♥橙汁了Edith? I forgot your orange juice.抱歉我一会儿再给你买♥♥I'm sorry, I'll bring you some more later?橙汁我不需要橙汁亲爱的Orange juice? I don't need any orange juice, dear.我关上门了伊蒂丝开着不安全I'm closing the door now, Edith. It's not safe to leave it open. 好了Okay.快点库邦我们走Hurry up, Coupon, let's go.清洁车来啦清洁车来啦Street sweeper! Street sweeper!天啊库邦快点Oh! Oh, God. Coupon! Get busy.快点Get busy.抓住个普锐斯新泽西 (我开大排量汽车)Get a Prius, New Jersey!回家吧贱♥人♥Go home, scumbag!很好库邦好孩子Good job, Coupon! Good boy!你不管了吗So, you just gonna leave it there?不我先把孩子放到车里No, I just, I gotta get my kid in the car,所以我可以开走车然后街道清洁员so I can move the car, so the street可以打扫sweeper can clean the street.我会弄干净的好吧I'll pick it up later.那之前要是有人踩了怎么办What if someone steps in it before then?我会打311 投诉你I'll call 311 and make a complaint.我觉得那不奏效随便你Well, I haven't found that very effective, but be my guest. 过来宝贝Here, honey.你不给他系好安全带吗And you're not even going to strap him in?让我休息一下Give me a break.好的Okay...不好Oh, no!快点女士快走啊Come on, lady, move it!这个家伙从哪蹦出来的Now where the hell is this guy?怎么了What's going on?每个周二和周五你必须把车开走Every Tuesday and Friday you gotta move your car所以他们可以清扫街道So they can clean the street.除了这一辆从新泽西来的Oh, except this one here. They're from Jersey.车主把车放这付罚单They leave it, and then pay the ticket.因为这比在停车场存车便宜It's cheaper than a garage.可是清洁车开不过来And then the street sweeper can't get around!开走沃尔沃女士Hey, move it, Volvo lady!快开走你的车Move that freakin' car!不行否则我车位就没了I can't, I'll lose my spot!你们怎么不倒回去Why doesn't everybody just back up?快点开车Come on! Move your car!绕过去Come around!我们动不了婊♥子♥We can't move, 'ya cunt!混♥蛋♥Motherfucker!那女的在干什么What is that woman doing?她疯了She's nuts.看那是她狗的便便她就不管了Look, that's her dog shit. She just left it there.去他妈的Give him hell!你刚才骂人了吗Did you just say what I think you said?是的骂了你听见了Yeah, that's right, you heard me.你在孩子面前You just used the c-word in front在学校附近说脏话of a child, in front of a school!你妈妈一定很自豪吧Your mother must be very proud of you.关我妈什么事儿Hey, you leave my mother out of this!不不不No, no, no.她一定非常非常自豪他儿子长大后She must be very, very proud that her son grew up to be... 你干什么的修房♥顶What do you do? Oh, roofing!她儿子是修房♥顶的That her son's a roofer.-闭嘴女士 -真厉害- Shut up, lady. - Impressive.他们有没有给你学位修屋顶大♥师♥Do they give you a degree in that? Advanced shingling?我说了闭嘴Hey, I said, shut up!好吧对不起我侮辱了你的职业All right, I'm sorry that I insulted your profession.总需要有人修屋顶Well, somebody's gotta fix roofs.是的我同意Right. Agreed.我是说我还有脸说别人I mean, I'm one to talk.我得在这个破城市养两个孩子I'm just trying to raise two kids in this godforsaken city而它却大不如前that's a shadow of its former self.你有没有想过搬到郊区去住Do you ever think about maybe moving out to the suburbs?我可付不起那么高的税务Like we could afford the taxes!是的我知道了知道了Yeah, I hear you on that. I hear you on that.他在爬车窗快叫警♥察♥He's escaping! Somebody call the police!你最好快回去Hey, you better get up there!不要No!开走车这不是停车场Move the car! This isn't a parking lot!你干什么What are you doing?宝贝宝贝别别这样对不起进车里去Oh! Sweetie! Sweetie! Oh, no, no, no! I'm so sorry. Back you go. 去社区机构告发她Report her to social services!原谅她的疏忽吧Hey, cut the lady some slack.你看不出来她今天很糟糕吗Can't you see she's having a hard day?谢谢Thank you.小心Oh, watch out!是她Look.卢卡斯宝贝对不起我不该把你一个人留下Lucas, sweetie, I am so sorry I left you all alone like that.很抱歉妈妈吸烟了And mommy's sorry she was smoking, too.还大喊大叫And yelling.吸烟和大叫是Lunchbox杂♥志♥Smoking and yelling are two things that Lunchbox magazine 要求尽量避免的would tell you to avoid.对不起I'm sorry.妈妈要以最快的速度Mommy's just gonna, just race around绕过这个街区the block as fast as she can.一眨眼的功夫就好了As quick as a wink!眨眼A wink!我没有车位了Oh! I'm gonna lose my spot!不Oh, no.不要Don't!不不不要不要Oh, no-no-no-no-no! Hey! No, no, no!好了等一会All right, one sec.不要不要不要Don't, don't, don't.打扰一下Excuse me!对不起我打扰你了Look, I'm sorry to bother you!我知道你没有睡着I know you're not napping because我看见你把车刚刚停进我的车位I saw you just pull into my spot.不是你的车位It's not your spot.但我住在这里But I live here.你住在西村所以你可以You live in the west village, so you停在别的地方can afford to park someplace else.你可以这么说但是错了好吗No, you can say that, but you'd be wrong, okay?我的公♥寓♥就在上面应该说我们的公♥寓♥ My apartment is right there, rather I should say, our apartments.你不止一个房♥子吗You've got more than one apartment?他们在出租一个是创作室They're rent stabilized, and one is a studio.听着我今晚得为女儿准备个生日宴会Look, I'm throwing a birthday party for my daughter tonight,所以我要把车停在这用它放点东西and I need to park here so I can stash stuff in the car.希望能放得下That is, if I can fit anything,因为我老公considering my husband has filled把后备箱装满了旧书the back of the car with old books.他就爱好这个You see, he has this fantasy想开个网店卖♥♥珍藏版的书丰富生活of starting an online rare book business to enrich our lifestyle.这主意怎么样How about that?不管怎样我们没有电梯Anyway, we live in a walk-up.快点Come on!"这是多么好的房♥子啊"my, what a wonderful house this would be.我要住进去直到它的主人回来I will live in it until the people who own it come for it. 之后这个矮个子老人..."And then, the little old man..."该我们了好了走宝贝Oh, that's us. Okay. Come on, sweetie.好了我们走Okay, here we go.来宝贝我们走了Come, sweetie, here we go.出来了Yeah...禁止停车电影拍摄分享很好康特尼Good sharing, Courtney!我真为你骄傲你能跟大家这样分享I am very proud of you for your excellent sharing.别不要扔掉No, no, drop it.那是中国造的That's made in China.小心点Hey! Watch it.他比你小多了He's a whole lot smaller than you.请问你刚说什么了Excuse me, did you just say something?她跟你说什么了约丹Did she say something to you, Jordan?对不起但你儿子差点就撞到我孩子了Look, I'm sorry, but your son nearly crushed my kid. 他真大He's a whole lot bigger.你是说我儿子超重了吗Are you saying my son's overweight?我是说大实际上我说的是有点大I said big. Actually, what I said was "bigger."你不要再跟他说话了Don't you dare ever speak to him again.这是天生的病It's glandular!不翠西翠西用375度来炖肉No, Trish. Trish, you cook pot roast at 375.是的Yeah.还有不要忘记交电♥话♥费And don't forget to mail the connect bill, please.是我妻子My wife.是的好的拜Yeah, okay, bye.是朱迪·福斯特Jodie Foster alert.什么Excuse me?我向上帝发誓是朱迪她正在走过来I swear to god, it's Jodie! She's coming in right now.朱迪朱迪看这边朱迪孩子的父亲是谁Jodie, Jodie! Over here, Jodie! Who's the father?上周我看到了莎拉·杰西卡·帕克Last week, I had a Sarah Jessica Parker sighting.我看到过朱利安·摩尔I've seen Julianne Moore凯特·温斯莱特詹姆斯·甘多夫尼Kate Winslet, and James Gandolfini.我发誓就像是电影明星赶场I swear, it's like a movie star playground.我从斯卡斯戴尔远道而来因为I come in all the way from Scarsdale because,你永远不会知道You know, you never know,这能卖♥♥了赚钱I could sell it to us, right?谁是你孩子的父亲朱迪Who's your baby-daddy, Jodie?你该在流动厨房♥工作该死的寄生虫You should work in a soup kitchen, you fucking parasites. 走吧亲爱的拿上你的夹克Here you go, honey. Got your jacket?一个母亲是否真的应该在Should a mother really have to choose让她的孩子呼吸一些新鲜空气Between simply getting her kid some fresh air 和被狗仔队穷追不舍之间选择And being stalked by the mamarazzi?你好艾丽莎Hey, Eliza.你好莉丽你好柏蒂Hey, Lily! Hey, Bodhi!-打个招呼 -你好- Say hi. - Hi.这个外套是怎么回事What's with the hazmat suit?这个吗这是防紫外线的衣服Oh, this? It's a uv-protection robe.我在网上给柏蒂买♥♥的I got it for Bodhi off this website.是澳大利亚生产的They make them in Australia.因为那阳光充足Because of the warming.我讨厌这样说但他看起来I hate to say this, but he kinda有点像婴儿版的三K党成员looks like a little baby klansman.它能阻止99%的有害射线Oh, well, it cuts out 99 percent of harmful rays. 如果你想要的话我可以把链接给你I can send you the link if you want.我还在上面给因迪买♥♥了件披风I got Indy a poncho off it.也许克莱拉想要一件Maybe Clara would want one.还是算了It's okay.抱歉我不是有意要打扰你Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you.不不我只是在参加一个比赛No, no, no. I'm just... entering this contest.真的吗什么比赛Really? What's the contest?写500字关于母性对我的意义Just write 500 words about what motherhood means to me. 你打算写些什么What are you gonna say?就写一些事情我猜我不知道Um... stuff, I guess. I don't know.母性怎么会全是关于彩虹独角兽How motherhood is all about rainbows and unicorns晴天和...And sunny days and...我在心里构思一些I've got something up my sleeve.好吧Okay.你想要一点吗Hey, do you want to borrow some?富含蛋白质无化学元素俄勒冈生产的It's protein and chemical free. They make it in Oregon.不用了谢谢No, thanks.莉丽莉丽你在做什么Lily? Lily, what are you doing?你没看过哭泣和发怒这本书吗Oh, haven't you read the crying and the raging?是最棒的一本书It's the most amazing book.一个挪威的儿科医生提出了这个理论This pediatrician in Norway came up with the theory如果你的孩子痛苦的时候That if you really connect with your child你能和他心灵相通In his moment of pain,就会让他平静下来It calms them down.这对我和柏蒂来说效果很明显It's really made a difference for me and Bodhi.莉丽失陪一下好吗Lily, will you excuse me for a second?当然Oh, sure.你感觉好点了吗Are you feeling better?你有打嗝吗Do you have the hiccups?让我们四处看看能看到些什么Let's look around and see what we see.我能看到花栗鼠那不是花栗鼠I think I see a little chipmunk. Oh, that's not a chipmunk.母性的意义我一点概念也没有I don't have the faintest notion母性对我的意义你明白我的意思吗What motherhood means to me, you know what I mean?从什么时候开始婴儿车跟汽车一样贵Since when does a stroller have to cost as much as a car?好吧二手车Okay, a used car.从世界上开始有大量生育这件事开始Since the world has started breeding more.-天哪 -什么- Oh! - What?-我无法相信... -什么- I can't believe... - What?我的车被拖走了They towed my goddamn car!该死Oh, shit.请在"哔"声之后留言Please leave your message at the beep.艾弗里你在哪里Avery, where are you?我要疯了他们又盯上我们那一区了I'm freaking out, okay? They're shooting on our block again. 咱车被拖走了收到留言后尽快给我电♥话♥ They moved the cars. Call me as soon as you get this.我得挂了拜I gotta go. Bye.我的车在哪Where is my car?我们在这儿有个居民We have a resident here.她可以任何时候来取她的车She can pick up her car anytime.知道了Copy that.是谁拖的Who moved it?柱子上到处都贴着说明Well, there's signs on all the posts.看看吧今天不能停车Check them. No parking today.我一个小时前停车的时候还没有说明There were no signs when I left it here an hour ago. -就在那儿 -夫人看- Right there! - Ma'am, look...别叫我夫人Don't "ma'am" me!可能我已经到了做你母亲的年龄I may technically be old enough to be your mother, 但我不是"夫人"But I am not a "ma'am."车已经被送到了The car's been moved巴罗街一个安全的地方To a secure location on barrow street,一直往西All the way west.电影剧组都会提前24小时通知Film crews are supposed to give 24-hour notice.我可以给你市长办公室的电♥话♥I can give you the number to the mayor's office如果你想投诉的话If you'd like to call and file a complaint.非常有用太好了Very helpful. Great.你是想说你拖走了我的车You're telling me that you towed my car,而我还得忍♥气吞声对吗and I have to bite it, right?夫人您能快点过去吗Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to cross the street.我们正在这儿布景We're setting up here.海斯特你能相信吗Hester, can you believe this?我要去尿在壶里然后扔出窗外I'm gonna piss in a pot and dump it on 'em later.洒他们一身哗Out the window, splat.好极了Right on!丹尼去2号♥Danny, go to two.为什么你满35岁还拖个孩子Why is it that once you pass 35 and have a kid in tow,就会自动变成"夫人"You automatically become a "ma'am"?"夫人"意味着护腿长筒袜"Ma'am" means support hose围裙糟糕的烫发A girdle, a bad perm.当我散步的时候我会穿热裤和厚底鞋I'll wear hot pants and platforms when I'm on a walker只是为了避免被叫"夫人"If only to avoid being called "ma'am."艾弗里艾弗里艾弗里接一次电♥话♥吧艾弗里Avery, Avery, Avery! Answer your phone for once, Avery!这是艾弗里的电♥话♥ 请留下口讯You've reached Avery. Please leave your message...我曾文思泉涌也曾经I used to be fluid, I used to be我不知道写得引人入胜I don't know, graceful.可现在我一写点什么Now my words come out就觉得很糟糕没新意And they just sound like bad and copy.可能是你的大脑因过度使用而筋疲力尽了Well, maybe your brain's worn out from over-sharing.希拉这比赛偏偏赶我状态最差的时候出现Sheila, just blog-slam me when I'm down!对了艾弗里的手♥机♥打不通Avery lost his cell phone, by the way.又是这种消极进攻的把戏The ultimate passive-aggressive act.只是不接电♥话♥而已Avery would lose his scrotum艾弗里就快活不成了If it wasn't attached.要不就是他把手♥机♥关静音了Well, it's either that, or he silenced it,这也是最能让我静音的方法Which is the most effective way of silencing me.变的沉默不再是我的问题了Ah... no longer my problem, being silenced.我的意思是上帝不许我提I mean, god forbid I ever raised a topic乔尔列出的10条不能被提起的话题From Joel's top 10 list of "musts to avoid."像是你不能结算他的支票簿Like, why you can't balance his checkbook.或用吸尘器或记住代课老师的名字Or vacuum. Or remember the substitute teacher's name. 或者在晚餐桌上Or tolerate a single comment about september 11谈论911At the dinner table.天哪也许这些会写在离婚协议里面God, maybe that's gonna show up in the divorce papers. "我拒绝在任何伤害性事件"Refused to stop referencing traumatic event发生六年之后还不能提起他们"More than six years after the fact.""顺便问下你为什么不能"By the way, 'why can't you从那些伤害中走出来呢"Just get over it?"'我来告诉你原因I'll tell you why.因为你老是在思考'Cause you're always thinking,老是想知道 "假如会怎么样"You're always wondering, "what if?"我是说我是不是做了所有能够I mean, have I done everything I could possibly do 避免灾难发生的事To stave off disaster?今天早上克莱拉去上学之前Did I tell Clara how much I loved her我有告诉她我爱她吗This morning before school,只是以防万一她再也不回家了Just in case she never makes it home again.莉斯停下别说了Oh, Liz, you gotta stop.我停不下来I can't stop.有位大无畏的领导者曾经说过Well, as a fearless leader once said,"当你停不下来的时候就去购物吧""When you can't stop, you must shop."整个事情最讽刺的You know, the grand irony of the whole thing是第一次我所想要的Is that the first time around, all I wanted...谢谢Thank you.是乔尔离我远远的不要碰我...Was for Joel to leave me alone and not touch me. 那是因为你的关节痛Well, that was because your joints ached.还有我得5秒钟就撒一次尿And I had to pee every five seconds.比尿你自己一身好多了Which is better than peeing all over yourself,生完孩子就得那样了Which is what you do after you give birth.是的这个时候就是命运残酷的转折点Yeah, the cruel twist of fate is that at this time,女人就是生活在麻烦里All the women do is shag.我最大的麻烦就是没人跟我做♥爱♥ And there is nobody to shag me.她通过出于同情的性♥爱♥怀孕了She got pregnant through sympathy sex.他丈夫跑掉后又觉得自责Her husband felt guilty after he ran off,所以他给孩子们So he sent the kids out with带来个保姆拿了瓶红酒A sitter, got a bottle of wine,然后乱搞And jumped on her.这真让我发疯Shagged me madly.让她怀孕Got her pregnant...然后他又离开了她And then he left her.蠢猪Pig!是的Oh, yeah.朋友们Hey, you guys...-那很漂亮 -是的很漂亮- That's nice. - It's pretty, yeah.对一个6岁的小孩来说For a 6-year-old.我得告诉你一些事I gotta tell you something.不能说出去哦It does not leave this room.好的昨天晚上Okay, so last night9点的时候我让孩子们上♥床♥睡觉I got the kids to bed about 9:00,然后我去洗澡And I ran a bath,一切本该非常美好Which would have been really lovely除了草莓酥饼泡泡浴Except I only had that strawberry shortcake bubble bath. -我就躺在那在浴室 -是的- So I'm lying there, in the bath... - Yeah...。

当我成为父母后英语作文英文回答：Parenthood is an extraordinary journey that profoundly transforms one's life, challenging and enriching in equal measure. The birth of a child ushers in a whirlwind of emotions, responsibilities, and sacrifices, but it also unlocks a boundless reservoir of love and a profound sense of fulfillment.As I embarked on this uncharted territory, I was filled with a mix of trepidation and exhilaration. The sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and constant worry that I might not be doing enough were tempered by the overwhelming joy of witnessing my child's first breath, hearing their infectious laughter, and feeling their tiny hand clasped around mine.Parenthood has taught me countless lessons, the most valuable of which is the importance of patience. Witnessinga newborn's gradual development into a toddler filled me with awe and wonder. It showed me that growth is not a linear process, but rather a series of small steps forward and occasional setbacks.Another invaluable lesson has been the power of unconditional love. My child's presence in my life has taught me a new level of empathy and compassion. No matter how difficult or frustrating a day may be, I am alwaysfilled with an overwhelming sense of love for them.Becoming a parent has also forced me to confront my own limitations and imperfections. It has humbled me and made me more resilient. By seeking support from others and embracing the challenges head-on, I have discovered a hidden reservoir of strength within myself.Parenthood is an ongoing process of learning, growth, and discovery. It is a journey filled with both challenges and rewards, but one that I would not trade for anything in the world. To be the father or mother of my child is the greatest privilege and the most profound responsibility ofmy life.中文回答：当父母后，我的生活发生了翻天覆地的变化，它既充满了挑战又令人充实。

英文作文为人父母Title: Embracing Parenthood: A Journey of Love and Responsibility。

Parenthood is a profound journey marked by love, growth, and immense responsibility. As parents, we are entrustedwith the sacred task of nurturing and guiding the lives of our children, shaping their character, and preparing themfor the world ahead. This journey is not without its challenges, but it is also filled with countless moments of joy, laughter, and fulfillment.One of the most important aspects of being a parent is unconditional love. From the moment our children enter the world, we are filled with an overwhelming sense of love and devotion. This love knows no bounds and transcends any obstacles that may come our way. It is this love that fuels our desire to provide the best possible life for our children, to protect them from harm, and to support them in their dreams and aspirations.Alongside love, parenthood also requires a great dealof patience and understanding. Children are not born with instruction manuals, and each one is unique in their own way. As parents, we must learn to navigate the ups and downs of parenting with patience and grace, understanding that mistakes will be made along the way. It is through these mistakes that we learn and grow, both as individuals and as parents.Responsibility is another cornerstone of parenthood. From the moment our children are born, we are responsiblefor their well-being and upbringing. This responsibility encompasses everything from providing for their basic needs to instilling in them values and morals that will guidethem throughout their lives. It is a weighty burden to bear, but one that we willingly take on for the sake of our children's future.Communication plays a crucial role in parenting. It is through open and honest communication that we build strong bonds with our children and establish trust and mutualrespect. Listening to our children's thoughts, feelings,and concerns is essential in helping them navigate the complexities of growing up and building healthy relationships. Likewise, expressing our own thoughts and feelings allows us to connect with our children on a deeper level and fosters a sense of understanding and empathy.As our children grow and mature, our role as parents evolves. We must learn to adapt to the changing needs ofour children, providing guidance and support as they navigate the challenges of adolescence and young adulthood. This transition can be bittersweet, as we watch ourchildren spread their wings and forge their own paths in life. Yet, it is also a time of great pride and joy, knowing that we have played a part in shaping theremarkable individuals they have become.In conclusion, parenthood is a journey filled with love, responsibility, and countless blessings. It is a journeythat challenges us, inspires us, and ultimately transforms us in profound ways. As parents, we are blessed with the privilege of nurturing and guiding the lives of ourchildren, and it is a responsibility that we embrace wholeheartedly. Through love, patience, and unwavering commitment, we strive to give our children the tools they need to thrive and succeed in life, knowing that our greatest legacy will be the love and values we pass on to them.。