生活大爆炸第三季S3E15 中英文对照剧本

THE BIG BANG THEORY 第3季中英剧本+词汇解析(TBBT-S03-EP09-10)S3E9 The One Vengeance Formulation-Howard: So two years later, there's a knock on the door. knock the door: 敲门两年后，听到敲门声。

Guy opens it, and there on his porch it's his snail porch: 门廊，走廊snail: 蜗牛那人开了门，走廊上是他养的蜗牛。

who says, "What the heck was all that about?"heck: 真见鬼（hell的委婉说法）它说"见鬼，怎么回事?"-Bernadette: I don't really get it.其实我没听懂。

-Howard: Well, see, it took two years for the snail...呃，想想，蜗牛爬了两年...Not important.不重要了。

-Bernadette: Can I ask you a question?我有个疑问?-Howard: Sure.请说。

-Bernadette: Where do you think this is going?你觉得我们俩要如何发展?-Howard: To be honest, I was hoping at least second base. second base: 二垒老实说，我希望至少达到二垒(注:指拥抱亲吻)。

-Bernadette: You're so funny.你真搞笑。

You're like a stand-up comedian.stand-up comedian: 单口相声演员，独角滑稽秀演员就像个独角喜剧演员。

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E17 – The Precious FragmentationScene: The stairwell. Leonard is carrying a large box.Leonard: Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?Sheldon: Well, it‟s very simple. In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose, I‟m the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one, and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails. That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.Leonard: One more floor, and I‟d be the pulled muscle.Penny (who is inside the apartment): Oh, it‟s about time, I‟m starving.Leonard:Uh, well, we didn‟t actually get Chinese food.Penny: Why not?Leonard:Don‟t panic, this is better.Penny:Oh, no, you didn‟t trade the food for magic beans, did you?Sheldon: Of course not. And, technically, magic beans would be food, although eating them would be quite a waste, since you could plant them and overnight have a giant beanstalk, which would provide enough roughage for a small city.Penny: Yeah, sometimes I don‟t listen, some times I just watch your jaw go up and down.Leonard: We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant when we thought we saw Adam West, so we followed him.Penny: Who‟s Adam West?Sheldon: Who‟s Adam West? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the c oitus?Howard:My guess is, “Hey, four minutes! New record!” That‟s why I‟m the funny one.Leonard: Anyway, we followed the guy to this garage sale, and they had the coolest stuff.Howard: They were closing up. We got this whole box for sixty bucks.Leonard:We didn‟t even get to go through it all. There could be anything in here.Penny: There a new girlfriend in there? …Cause you might need one.Leonard: No. But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script with actual slime stains! (Raj whispers to Leonard) Oh, you‟re right, it‟s Ghostbusters 2. Never mind.Howard: Oh, my God. An Alf doll. When I was 11 my mother got me one to help me sleep after my dad left. I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac, and Alf was going to bring him back to me. But he never did. Where‟s my daddy, puppet? Where is he?Penny: That is so sad.Sheldon:No, what‟s sad is that you don‟t know Adam West was TV‟s Batman.Credits sequenceScene: The sameLeonard:Here‟s Spock‟s head with no body. Here‟s Mr. T‟s body with no head. Oh, yeah, here‟s Spock‟s body with Mr. T‟s head. I pity the fool who‟s illogical.Penny:Okay, I‟m just gonna go home and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.Leonard: Okay, bye.Penny: Okay.Leonard: Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones connect-the-dots.Raj: And an Aquaman action figure.Howard: Looks like someone drew a penis on him.Raj: H uh? That‟ll come off.Howard:You see what you‟re doing? Stop that.Sheldon: Fascinating.Leonard: What?Sheldon: It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.Leonard: Oh.Raj: It‟s even got the Elvish engraving on it.Sheldon: I t‟s not Elvish. It‟s the language of Mordor written in Elvish script. One Ring torule them all.Raj: One Ring to find them.Howard: One Ring to bring them all.Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.Raj: Holy crap, are we nerdy.Scene: The Cheesecake FactoryHoward: So, I was doing some checking on the ring.Raj: Hold on. Sheldon, is there ketchup on that table?Sheldon: Yes, there is. Oh, here‟s a fun fact, ketchup s tarted out as a general term for sauce, typically made of, uh, mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry, anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.Raj: No, that‟s okay. I‟ll get it.Howard: Listen, I was looking at the ring, and it seemed a little weird. No copyright notice on it. So, I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with, shall we say, the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world.Leonard: Seedy underbelly?Howard: You know, your black market phasers, your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties, that kind of stuff. Raj:Who‟s this mysterious buddy you suddenly have?Howard: Just a guy. I know a guy.Raj: Is it Eddie Crispo?Howard: No, I can‟t tell you who it is. Stop asking.Raj: Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo.Howard: I know lots of dangerous people, okay?Raj: Name one.Howard: Eddie Crispo. Anyway, he said this isn‟t a replica. It‟s the real deal.Sheldon: If you‟re suggesting that that is the actual ring of power f orged by Sauron in Mount Doom, I look at you with an expression of exhaustion and ever so slight amusement.Leonard:He‟s not saying it‟s a magic ring. You‟re not, are you?Howard: No, but it‟s close. Look at the markings inside. Those are production marki ngs. Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies. Three were given to members of the cast. The rest were destroyed. Except one. One was stolen. Gentlemen, this is the one ring.Sheldon (snatching it): Mine!Leonard: No, it is not yours. We all went in on the box together.Sheldon: Well, yes, but I found it in the box, and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state that the finder of asunken treasure is the owner of the treasure.Leonard: How is this maritime salvage?Sheldon: Other than the lack of water, how is it not?Raj: Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop being crazy for a second. How much is something like this worth?Howard: Well, it‟s tough to say since it‟s hot, but on the underground market, my guy figures…Raj: Your guy Eddie Crispo?Howard: Yes. He figures ten, maybe 15 thousand.Raj: Okay, that‟s a lot of money. The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical. Like a jet ski.Howard: Why do you want a jet ski?Raj: All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis. Tha t can‟t just be a coincidence.Sheldon: We can‟t sell it. We have to keep it and love it and polish it, and only take it out occasionally when we go to the park and re-enact our favourite scenes from the movies.Howard: It‟s sad how great that sounds.Leonard: Guys, it‟s stolen. It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies, it belongs to him.Howard: Fine. He can have it back as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.Howard: Clearly, you‟ve nev er been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.Leonard: We are not blackmailing Peter J… All right, where‟s the ring?Sheldon: You mean my ring?Leonard: What are you doing?Sheldon: The ring was unguarded, it was just sitting on the table, anyone could have taken it. Proof? I did. Leonard: Give me that.Raj:Look, let‟s be reasonable. We all want to do different things with the ring, but your ideas are stupid, and I want a jet ski.Sheldon: I found it. The ring is mine. I don‟t understand why in this gro up I never get my way.Leonard: You always get your way.Sheldon: I‟ll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.Penny: Hey, guys. Enjoying your food that I actually brought you instead of promising food, but bringing you a box of random crap?Leonard: Ye ah, it‟s delicious, the sarcasm‟s a little stale, though. Hey, how about this? Until we figure out what to do with the ring, Penny holds on to it.Penny: What ring?Leonard: This ring.Sheldon: Looking for something?Leonard: Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?Penny: Why?Leonard: It‟s a prop from a movie, and we‟re kind of fighting over it.Penny: Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewellery my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie, and I don‟t even get to keep it?Howard: I f you ha d gone out with me three years ago, by now, you‟d have my great Aunt Ida‟s brooch that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.Leonard: How am I looking now?Scene: Penny and Leonard are asleep in Leonard’s bed. Sheldon creeps in and tries to take the ring fromround Penny’s neck, but she turns over. He tries to make buzzing fly noises to get her to turn back, but she turns all the way the other way. He then uses an extender with a claw on the end to lif the ring from Penny’s chest. As he tries to remove it, she wakes up, screams, and punches him in the face.Sheldon:Ow! You hit me! I‟m bleeding!Leonard: What was that?Penny: Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.Leonard: That‟s my girl.Scene: The cafeteria.Howard:So, Sheldon, how‟s it feel to get beaten up by a girl?Sheldon: It‟s not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero. If only I‟d had the presence of mind to reabsorb her, then I‟d have a mole with hair in it instead of a tedious yearly Christmas let ter.Raj: Gentlemen, have you come to the realization that the only reasonable course of action is to sell the ring and divide the money?Leonard: No.Raj: I was afraid of that. (Opens his laptop to reveal an Indian looking man on a webcam.) Go ahead.Man on Screen: Greetings from Mumbai. I am Raj‟s attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.Raj: Also my cousin.Howard: You brought a lawyer?Venkatesh: Don‟t answer that. I‟ll get straight to the point. My client‟s prepared to surrender any interest he has in the ring in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.Leonard: We‟re not giving him two Jet Skis.Venkatesh: Look, we‟re big boys, why don‟t we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle? One Kawasaki Jet Ski, done and done.Leonard: No Jet Skis.Venkatesh: All right, forget the Jet Skis.Raj: Forget the Jet Skis? That was our line in the sand! What happened to “tear them a new one?”Venkatesh: What can I say? They played hardball. We lost.Raj: You‟re useless.Venkatesh: I told you that when you hired me.Raj:I‟m si gning off now.Venkatesh: Call your mother, she worries.Howard: Okay, just so you know, if we‟re bringing in cousins who are lawyers, prepare for shock and awe. Leonard: You know what? I am ending this. Penny didn‟t want to hold the ring anymore. She gave it to me, I have it. I‟m sending it back. Where‟s the ring?Sheldon: You mean this ring? Next time be aware of your surroundings while urinating in a public men‟s room. Leonard: Give me that.Sheldon: No, it‟s mine.Raj: It‟s all of ours. (They begin to struggle over the ring.)Leonard: Okay, now, this is ridiculous!Howard: Then let go!Leonard:I‟m not letting go, you let go.Howard: I say this ring belongs to the last person who can hold on.Leonard: Fine. But can‟t we go home and start this?Raj: Sure. Let go of the ring.Leonard: All right, it starts now.Howard: You do realize there‟s a giant bug movie marathon tonight on the Syfy Channel. (They start to move away from the table while all still holding the ring.)Raj: Wait, my laptop. (They go back for it.)Scene: The stairwell. The guys are coming up the stairs, all still holding the ring.Howard:You know, there‟s a point when this becomes idiotic.Leonard:And it wasn‟t when we were driving like this?Sheldon:I would advise the three of you that resistance is futile. I have endless patience. I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold with Hewlett-Packard customer service just to complain about their customer service. Leonard: You want to talk about endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City. Raj: There are six seasons, dude.Leonard: Oh, crap!Raj: No, no, no, the sixth season is great. We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken, and then Mr. Big shows up, we don‟t know if we can trust him again. It‟s a wild r ide.Leonard: Door. (Leonard tries to unlock the door and drops the keys.)Raj: Okay, everybody, and plie. And relevae.Penny:Whatcha doin‟?Leonard: Last one holding the ring decides its fate. I know, it sounds silly.Penny: No, no, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend. Nothing you do is silly to me.Leonard: Thank you.Penny:FYI, this is a bag from Victoria‟s Secret.Leonard: I‟m out.Scene: The apartment. The three guys are still holding the ring. Howard is on the phone.Howard: I‟m sorry, Ma, I have to stay late at the office.Raj: No, he‟s doesn‟t! He‟s lying to you!Howard: Will you be quiet?Raj:Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring. I‟m so glad we came to this gentile strip club! Howard, here‟s more bacon to tuck into the shiksa‟s G-string!Howard:I‟ll call you back.Raj: I think it‟s lovely you call your mommy and let her know you‟re going to be late for dinner. From what I know about these things, if a woman doesn‟t breast-feed on time, it‟s very uncomfortable for her boobies.Howard: D on‟t you talk about my mother‟s boobies!Raj: I f you‟re offended, let go of the ring and go on home to your mother‟s boobies.Sheldon:Excellent, excellent. Tire each other out, the ring will be mine. Howard, why don‟t you go after Raj‟s mother?Raj: Why d on‟t we go after your mother?Sheldon:Go ahead. I have no illusions about my mother. She is a kind, loving, religiously fanatical right-wing Texan with a slightly out-of-scale head and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction. Anything you‟d like to add?Howard: That‟s not gonna Better pull out the big gun.Raj: You‟re right. Let‟s talk about your grandmother.Sheldon: No! I call no Meemaws.Raj: Think about this. The only way your mother was born was your Meemaw had sex.Sheldon: I don‟t want to hear this.Howard: Then let go of the ring and walk away.Sheldon: Never.Howard:All right. I‟ll bet your Meemaw didn‟t just have sex to have your mother. I bet she had sex because she liked it.Sheldon: Stop it!Raj: Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.Sheldon: I said stop it!Howard: We‟re getting to him.Sheldon: Waterfalls!Raj: What?Sheldon: Waterfalls. Crashing waves. Babbling brooks.Howard: What are you doing?Sheldon:Subliminal messaging. I‟m going to make you want to pee. Dripping faucets. Leaky gutter. Peeing.Raj: It‟s, it‟s not working, dude.Sheldon: Oh-ho-ho, it‟s working all right. I have to pee.Raj: T hen let go of the ring and go.Howard: No, actually, I wouldn‟t mind going, too.Raj: Fine. Um, on the count of three. One, two…Sheldon: Wait, just to clarify. When you get to three, do we stand up or do we pee?Howard: We stand up.Sheldon: Excellent choice.Raj: Three.Howard: Something tells me this was a bad day to wear suede shoes.Scene: Sometime later. The guys are on the settee. Howard is seen asleep, he is not holding the ring. The camera pans along to where Sheldon and Raj still hold the ring. Raj, also asleep, lets go and cuddles up to Howard.Sheldon: I‟ve done it! I‟ve won! The ring is mine! It‟s mine! (He runs to the bathroom) We‟re going to clean it up an d make it pretty. My own. My love. My precious. (He looks in the mirror and has turned into golem. He screams and wakes up, still on the settee.) Where‟s the ring?Leonard:It‟s in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from.Raj: T he fires of Mount Doom?Leonard: Peter Jackson‟s office in New Zealand. It wasn‟t ours.Howard: You quit the game! You had no right to take it.Leonard: I came in here, you guys were all sleeping. The ring was on the floor. No one was touching it.Raj: Well, so then we star t the game over until there‟s a winner.Leonard: There wasn‟t ever going to be a winner. There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring and three people who used to be his friend. Is that really what you guys want? …Cause if it is, fine, I don‟t want anything to do with you. And I don‟t know what happened in that bathroom, but I am not cleaning it up! (Goes to his bedroom. Takes a box from under his bed. Takes out the ring.) My precious.Scene: Leonard and Penny are asleep in Leonard’s bed. The extender and claw reaches across and pullsdown the sheet revealing the ring on a chain round Leonard’s neck.Sheldon: I knew it. Give us the precious!Leonard: NEVER!(They begin to struggle, both shouting “give it”, “give it to me” and “it’s mine” at var ious intervals. Penny gets out of the bed and heads out the door.)Penny: U gh, gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.。

[《星球大战V》主题曲]"The Imperial March"您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗Would you please turn your shirt off?那怎么行What?我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music.这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.确实Right.世上最惊悚的事莫过于There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man 有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出who's got music blasting from between his nipples.斯图亚特忙啥呢Hey,Stuart,what's going on?你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了Well,you might want to mark your Google calendars.斯坦·李周四来这里开签名会Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday.他的自传出续集了吗Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography?我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮I'm sure ages79through87were just action-packed.没就是普通的漫画签名罢了No,just a regular comic signing.我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生My uncle is his dermatologist斯坦·李因此卖个面子给他and Stan's doing him a favor.你告诉我这些干嘛啊你Oh,I don't want to know that!这下好了我怎么可能一边和斯坦·李讨论How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee用银质冲浪板the scientific foundations for interstellar flight来星际飞行的科学依据on a silver surfboard一边逐行扫描他的脸when part of my brain will be scanning his face以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹for signs of contagious skin disease?斯坦·李没有皮肤传染病Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin disease.一边去你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔Well,look who thinks he's Stuart's uncle now.难以置信我们要见到斯坦·李了Can't believe it.We're going to meet Stan Lee![《变形金刚》中大黄蜂播放过的歌曲]"I'm So Excited"我错了我不该教他跳这舞的I'm sad to say I taught him those moves.我实在无法取舍I can't decicide究竟让斯坦·李把名字签在whether I want Stan Lee to autograph托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上my Journey into Mystery83,first appearance of Thor还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上or my Fantastic Four number five,死亡博士的处女秀first appearance of Dr.Doom.[Jeopardy智力竞赛节目思考时的音乐节目的主题曲] (Jeopardy theme song playing)阿莱克斯(Jeopardy的主持)我选的答案是Alex,I'm going to go with what is...你是个傻帽you're a dumbass?我决定让斯坦·李把名签在I've decided I'm going to have Mr.Lee sign my copy这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上of this month's Batman.有病吧你That's crazy.蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦·李的作品[竞争对手]Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.对啊所以其他人不会让他签这个Yes,which is why no one else will ask him to sign one,于是我就会拥有一件and I will be the possessor of虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝a unique,albeit confusing,artifact,我从此就和那群芸芸which will set me apart漫画迷不再是一个级别的了from hoi polloi of comic book fandom.这点子不错That's a great idea.我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去I'm going to get him to sign a Batman as well.你对独一无二这个词很难理解么What is it about the word"unique"you don't understand?靠手被纸片划破了Damn,paper cut.被纸割伤最痛苦了Nothing worse than a paper cut.你忘了割礼吧[犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式]Well,obviously you don't remember your circumcision.上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴There's Neosporin and Band-Aids in my top desk drawer.这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?卫生间里有还有厨房里He does.And in the kitchen.还有车里再加上他口袋里And in the car.And in his pocket.没错但我口袋里的可不给别人用Yeah,but the ones in my pocket are mine.-嗨-嘿-Hi!-Hey.猜猜看Guess who's going to be周四谁会去漫画店at the comic bookstore on Thursday?呃给点提示吧Um...can you give me a hint?斯坦·李Stan Lee.噢斯坦利Um...Stanley...斯坦利·图奇?[著名演员]Stanley...Stanley Tucci?不是No.是斯坦·李No,Stan...Lee.哦斯坦·李嘛Oh,oh,Stan Lee!不错嘛Cool!你根本不知道他是谁吧You have no idea who he is,do you?谁说的我当然知道Of course I do.你是我生命中的重要的一部分You're an important part of my life我自然会爱屋及乌啦and I pay attention to the things you are interested in.是嘛好啊Oh,good.好极了Good.那你说说斯坦·李是谁So,who's Stan Lee?星际迷航里的Um...he was on Star Trek.猜错了Nope.-那就星球大战-又错-Star Wars?-No.呃斯坦·李Um...uh,Stan Lee.我知道了Ooh,he was in those是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的goofy kung fu movies you love so much?那是李小龙That's Bruce Lee.啊哦Oh.那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦?So,is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother,Stan?谢尔顿你抽屉怎么有那么多Sheldon,why do you have all these unopened没拆封的薪水支票paychecks in your desk?因为我想买的东西Because most of the things I'm planning to buy市面上基本上都没有haven't been invented yet.这儿得有好几千块了吧There-there must be thousands of dollars here.你干嘛不存银行里Why don't you put it in the bank?鬼才相信银行I don't trust banks.我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了I believe that when the robots rise up,自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖ATMs will lead the charge.这儿还有一封You've also got something帕萨迪纳市法院寄来的东西from the Pasadena Municipal Court.肯定又是回信来鄙视我Undoubtedly another snide response之前寄去的几封信里to my repeated letters complaining投诉了法院门口的旗子that the flags in front of the courthouse次序是错误的are flying in the wrong order.按照从左到右的顺序From left to right,it's supposed to be应该先是联邦旗州旗federal,state,最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗and then city of Pasadena.打断一下你为此寄了好几封信过去I'm sorry.You sent more than one letter about that?它们看着太碍眼了It bothers me.谢尔顿这是封传票Sheldon,this is a summons.什么的传票A summons for what?信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue时间是11月16号晚上9点半at9:30p.m.on November16.你被路边的摄像头拍下来了They got you on a traffic camera.挺上镜嘛Nice picture.11月16号November16?佩妮那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒Penny,that's the evening you fell in your bathtub然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗and I had to drive you to the emergency room.不是No,it isn't.就是Yes,it is.就不是No,it isn't.佩妮我记得很清楚Penny,I have an eidetic memory.而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上Also,that's a picture of you in the passenger seat托着你那脱臼的肩膀holding your dislocated shoulder.才不是呢Mmm,no,it isn't.好吧那为啥传票上违反交规的Okay,then why is a summons for a traffic violation是你的车而且挂着你的车牌committed in your car,bearing your license plates,却寄来我这儿了coming to me?好吧他们给我发了传票Okay,look,they sent me the ticket.我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车I told them I wasn't driving然后他们逼问我"除了你还有谁"and they were all,"If it wasn't you,who was it?"于是你就把我出卖了So you betrayed me?才没有No!这哪是出卖It wasn't a betrayal.我只不过表示"我的驾照已经没分好扣了"It was more of a"I can't afford any more points on my license."我已经不得不I already have to buy my insurance去开曼群岛上买车险了from this place in the Cayman Islands.但我之所以开你的车还不是因为But the only reason I was driving your car你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you.是啊是啊你看现在你有张照片记录英勇的一天Yea yea.Look at you.you have a photo to remember that heroic day.没什么大不了的It's not that big a deal.你只要周四去法院You just go down to the court on Thursday交罚金就行and you pay the fine.我才不去交罚金I'm not going to pay a fine.那就说明我有罪That would imply I'm guilty.你确实有罪You are guilty.[《法律与秩序》的主题曲]这个我喜欢That one I liked.我是无罪的I am not guilty.我只有实习驾照I only have a learner's permit.佩妮教我的Penny was the teacher.转黄灯时她就说"快快快"When the light turned yellow she said"Go,go,go."于是我就"开开开"So I went,went,went.谢尔顿对不起Sheldon,I'm sorry.我会还你罚金的钱I'll be happy to reimburse you for the fine.只要我能参演一部电影You know,as soon as I get a part in a movie或者自己拍个电视剧or my own TV series.不用你还因为我不会交的You don't need to reimburse me because I'm not paying.周四那天我会去法院On Thursday,I will have my day in court正义会得到伸张and justice will be done.我现在就着手准备辩护In fact,I'm going to begin preparing my defense right now.他坐定牢了Okay,he's going to jail.对哦Oh,that's right.周四是斯坦·李签名日Thursday is Stan Lee Day.看到你做的好事了吧Now you see what you've done?就因为你我们都见不到斯坦·李了Because of you,we're all going to miss Stan Lee.你说"都"是什么意思What do you mean"all?"你们是我朋友啊Well,you're my friends.你们要站在我旁边支持我You'll be standing by my side,supporting me,为我提供案例feeding me legal precedents,你们上身要是够壮and if you had the upper body strength,我胜诉时可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.这个嘛不行Yeah,okay.No.你是说我为自己辩护时Are you saying that you will not stand beside me你不会来站在我身边吗as I plead my case?是这个意思That's what I'm saying.霍华德Howard?斯坦·李法庭上的你Uh,Stan Lee,or you in court.要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单Uh,if this was Sophie's Choice电影就不会那么长了不行it would've been a much shorter movie.No.拉杰Raj?你会来吧You'll be there,won't you?那好吧All right,then.我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我My so-called friends have forsaken me.看来只剩我和目击证人了So,I guess it'll just be me and my eyewitness.晕死Oh,balls.请着装得体一点Please try to wear something appropriate.要是法官只顾着想It won't help my case你屁股上'美味多汁'的意思if the judge is busy trying to read the word"Juicy"对我的案子没好处scrawled across your buttocks.佩妮Penny.佩妮Penny.佩妮Penny.节奏不对That's just wrong.好了走吧All right,let's go.等一下Wait,hold on.去法院之前Before we get to the courthouse,我想看一下你的演技I'd like to call on your skills as an actress.这是什么What is this?我冒昧地I've taken the liberty为你起草了出庭作证的剧本of scripting your appearance on the witness stand面对现实你有点我行我素because,let's face it,you're somewhat of a loose cannon.别担心都是用你的方言写的{\c it's written in your vernacular.我们排练一下如何So shall we rehearse?我有得选吗Do I have a choice?你当然有选择权Well,of course you have a choice.虽然我们生活在宿命里Although we live in a deterministic universe,但每个人都有自由选择的权力each individual has free will.给我坐下Now,sit down.请你回忆下I call your attention11月16日发生的事to the events of November16.你记得那天吗Do you remember that date?废话我记得"Darn tootin',I do.请法官原谅我家乡内布拉斯加"If the court will excuse my homespun,粗俗简朴的语言corn-fed Nebraskan turn of phrase."很好继续Excellent.Go on.我记得那天"The reason that date is,like,而且铭记在我的脑子里"so totally fixed in my memory是因为我有幸目睹了"is that I had the privilege to be witness毕生从未见过的英勇行为to one of the most heroic acts I've ever seen in,like,ever."谁的英勇行为"And who performed that heroic act?"您的啊阁下"Why,you did,sir.您谢尔顿·库珀博士"You.Dr.Sheldon Cooper.而且我想说我很荣幸认识您And may I add,it is a privilege to know you."不必称赞我"There's no need for compliments.法庭只看重事实This court is only interested in the facts."但感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊"But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you.真的Totally."一滴泪从我面颊流下A teardrop rolls down my cheek?!纯属建议Only a suggestion.喉咙哽咽一下也可以A catch in your throat would work just as well.但我感觉"But it is a fact很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊"that it's a privilege to know you.真的Totally."你还是穿"美味多汁"的裤子吧Maybe you should put on your"Juicy"pants again.去交罚金Pay the cashier.谢尔顿·库珀Sheldon Cooper.早上好法官大人Good morning,Your Honor.我是谢尔顿·库珀博士Dr.Sheldon Cooper自我辩护appearing in pro se.也就是说代表我自己That is to say,representing himself.我知道什么意思I know what it means.我读过法律学校I went to law school.结果却在审理交通法庭And yet you wound up in traffic court.不管怎样Anyway,法官允许的话if it would please the court,我想做个开庭陈述I'd like to begin with an opening statement.法官会建议你简短点The court would advise you to make it quick,因为法官早上吃了可能馊了的玉米煎饼as the court had a dicey-looking breakfast burrito this morning 而且刚吃了易蒙停(止泻药)and just took an Imodium.快速的开场陈述A quick opening statement.如同一个挤奶凳Like a milking stool,本案有三个my case rests on立足点three legs.我要论证的是I will demonstrate我在驾驶过程中受到一个女人的误导that I was improperly instructed in driving这个女人缺乏社会上by a woman whose lack of respect for society 对反社会界定的基本认识borders on the sociopathic.我要争辩的是I will argue紧急情况下的法律原理that the emergency met the legal doctrine是需要即合法[拉丁文]of quod est necessarium est licitum--也就是需要即合法that which is necessary is legal.但首先But first,我要提出第六条修正案[美国权利法案]I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue.我无法与控方对峙I'm unable to confront my accuser,因为控方是一台非人类机器a non-human entity,to wit,也就是摄像机a camera.所以综上所述So,to sum up:错误指导{\c加上"需要即合法"的原理{\c还有第六条修正案Sixth Amendment.我的挤奶凳辨述完毕My milk stool is complete.佩服佩服Impressive.谢谢Thank you.罪名成立Guilty.去付钱吧Pay the cashier.我反对I object.你这是在无视法律You're completely ignoring the law.不我遵守法律No,I'm following the law.只是在无视你I'm ignoring you.是吗Really?提醒你一下我可是业内顶尖人士I would point out that I am at the top of my profession,你却坐在桌子后面过家家while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.库珀博士我给你个机会为你最后的言论道歉Dr.Cooper,before I find you in contempt不然我要视你为蔑视法庭and throw you in jail,I'm going to give you a chance把你扔进监狱to apologize for that last remark.我可是个科学家I am a scientist.我才不会为陈述事实而道歉I never apologize for the truth.那是我的位置That's my spot.我等不及要问斯坦·李I can't wait to ask Stan Lee为什么他笔下每个角色的姓和名why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names 开头字母都是一样的that start with the same letter.[以下均为惊奇漫画人物]得了你这是何必Oh,come on.Why would you do that?分别出自《绿巨人》和《神奇四侠》布鲁斯·班纳里德·理查Bruce Banner,Reed Richards,分别出自《神奇四侠》和《怪谈故事》后者为惊奇的系列漫画苏珊·斯汤斯蒂芬·史催博士Sue Storm,Stephen Strange,分别出自《蜘蛛侠》和《神奇四侠》奥拓·八爪博士和银影侠Otto Octavius,Silver Surfer,出自《蜘蛛侠》彼得·帕克还有最夸张的Peter Parker,oh,and worst of all,出自《神奇的蜘蛛侠》小约翰·约拿·詹姆森J.Jonah Jameson,Jr.好吧我要插在你前面Okay,I'm cutting.免得斯坦·李被你惹毛了我遭殃I'm not gonna talk to Stan Lee after you cheese him off.《蜘蛛侠》的主题音乐铃声嗨Hey.谢尔顿进了监狱Sheldon's in jail.啥谢尔顿进了监狱?!Sheldon's in jail?!被你说中了You called it.-怎么搞的-你觉得呢-For what?-What do you think?就是他平时一贯的找抽风格For doing the same crap he always does,只不过法官不吃这一套except to a judge.他不道歉就出不来He has to stay in there until he apologizes.那就让他道歉啊So tell him to apologize.多谢提醒莱纳德Oh,gee,thanks,Leonard.你以为我没想过吗That didn't occur to me.如果他五点前还不道歉If he doesn't apologize by5:00,就得在监狱里过夜了he is going to spend the night in jail.哦不真是糟糕Oh,no,that's terrible.哇队伍动了挂了回见Ooh,the line's moving.Got to go.Bye.有人吗Excuse me?狱卒在吗Excuse me,jailor?咋了What?我要上厕所I need to use the restroom.在那边自便Knock yourself out.这算是马桶?That's the toilet?不然你以为是许愿池吗Well,it ain't a wishing well.请转告法官我准备向他道歉Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.看啊Look at that."致吾友莱纳德"To my friend,Leonard.惊奇漫画的一个系列后改称Loners独行侠斯坦·李"From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"牛逼Awesome.我上面写的是"致吾友霍华德"Mine says,"To my friend,Howard.独行侠斯坦·李From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"我上面写的是"致拉杰斯坦·李"Mine says,"To Raj,from Stan Lee."因为你纠结他的角色名把他惹毛了That's'cause you pissed him off about his character names.搞毛Hey,前者是惊奇漫画虚拟组织S.H.I.E.L.D成员后者出自《蜘蛛侠》我还没提达姆弹头杜甘和绿魔I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin,分别出自《夜魔侠》和《钢铁侠》马特·默多克和小辣椒波兹Matt Murdock,Pepper Potts,末日博士[出自《神奇四侠》]Victor V on Doom,还有最夸张的oh,and worst of all,惊奇漫画的长篇幽默系列米莉模特Millie the Model.我们回来了We're home.伙计情况如何Oh,hey,buddy.How'd it go?你明明都知道了还问个屁You know very well how it went.是啊但我们想听你亲口说Yeah,but we all want to hear it from you.我被判有罪还被罚了533美元I was found guilty and fined$533.我会写张支票给你I'm going to write you a check for that.只要你答应我藏在抽屉里As long as you promise to put it in your drawer别去兑换就和其他那些东西一样and never cash it,like the others.我还没有驾照I also now have three points但上面已经被扣了三点on a driver's license I do not yet possess,还被迫道了个冤枉歉and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology,只因为我拒绝在一群犯人面前simply because I refuse to urinate就着个不锈钢尿盆排尿in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.再加上你错过了和斯坦·李见面Plus,you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.好了别刺激他了霍华德Okay,that's enough,Howard.这可怜虫够难受的了The poor guy's had a tough time.一个下午都待在监狱He had to spend the entire afternoon in jail还穿成这幅德行wearing that suit.说得对You're right,所以我们也别提在亲笔签名后so it would be cruel to mention他带斯图尔特和咱一起去吃了意式冰淇淋that after he finished signing autographs,这就太残酷了Stanley took Stuart and us out for gelato.你们和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋?You had gelato with Stan Lee?他还允许我们叫他斯坦He said we could call him Stan.除了拉杰Except for Raj.你这下满意了吧佩妮Well,I hope you're satisfied,Penny.今天我所遭受的磨难You are responsible这全都是你的错for all the evil that has be fallen me today.-好吧我知道...-我还没说完呢-Okay,I realize that...-Not finished.都是因为你It is because of you害得我有了犯罪记录that I now have a criminal record,还因为你害得我and it is because of you that I missed out错过了和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋on having gelato with Stan Lee.-好吧也许以后还有机会...-不可能了-Okay,maybe you'll have another chance to have...-No,no.再也没有这种机会和斯坦·李一起共进意式冰淇淋了I will never have another chance to have gelato with Stan Lee 因为这种机会because opportunities to have和斯坦·李一起共进意式冰淇淋一生只有一次gelato with Stan Lee come but once in a lifetime.手起笔落The Moving Finger writes,白纸黑字再难改[出自《鲁拜集》]and having writ,moves on他刚是朝我竖中指了吗Did he just somehow give me the finger?可不只是手指Not just the finger.还挥起了小手The moving finger.你好斯图尔特Hey,Stuart.你好佩妮Oh,hey,Penny.-怎么了-没什么-What's going on?-Nothing.我正准备打烊然后出发I'm just getting ready to close up and...head out.真好晚上有安排Cool.Got any fun plans?对今晚有重大安排Oh,yeah.Big night tonight.跟只猫一起共享金枪鱼罐头Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat.真好Oh,nice.那甚至不是我的猫Not even my cat.我就喂喂它I just feed it.有几晚它甚至都不会出现Some nights it doesn't even show up.好吧Oh,okay.我希望Well,I was hoping,um,你能帮我个忙you could do me a favor.义不容辞说吧Sure,yeah,name it.这次谢尔顿没见上斯坦·李我得负一定责任Well,I'm kind of responsible for Sheldon missing Stan Lee,我真的很想弥补他and I really want to make it up to him.所以希望你能给我他的电话So I was hoping you could give me his phone number也许我能安排他们见个面so maybe I can arrange for them to meet.抱歉我没他电话Oh,I'm sorry,I don't have his phone number.该死Damn.好吧谢了All right.Thank you.等等Wait.我有他地址I have his address.真的Really?太好了Great!但不能告诉你But I can't give it to you.那你为什么要提这茬Then why did you tell me you had it?我不知道这不聊天嘛I don't know.Just chatting.别这样看着我You're looking at a guy我已经可怜到连流浪猫who could very well get stood up都可能放我鸽子by a stray cat tonight.抱歉斯图尔特I'm sorry,Stuart.不管怎样谢了Thanks anyway.等等Wait.怎么了Yeah?不如我们做笔交易Maybe we can make a deal.什么交易What kind of deal?我告诉你地址I will give you the address你就陪我去参加我表妹的婚礼if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.你这是在逼我跟你约会You're extorting a date out of me?我没其他办法I kind of have to.这次要结婚的这个表妹The cousin who's getting married就是以前经常陪我参加别人婚礼的那个is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.我能带上莱纳德吗Can I bring Leonard?当然随便吧Sure.What the hell.成交Deal.告诉别人他是你表哥就行We'll tell people he's your cousin.这是斯坦·李家的大门This is Stan Lee's front door.越过斯坦·李家马路的石头We were on Stan Lee's curb,走过斯坦·李经常走过的路then we were on Stan Lee's walk,终于来到了斯坦·李家大门外and now we're at Stan Lee's front door.对Yup.天哪你按了斯坦·李家门铃Oh,Lord,you just rang Stan Lee's doorbell.就站在斯坦·李家门外At Stan Lee's house.我们就要进去跟斯坦·李共享牛奶和点心We're about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.亲爱的我不确定他是否会招待我们点心Okay,sweetie,I don't know if we're gonna have cookies,还是直接问候了事or he's just gonna say hi,还是会怎么着所以让我来跟他谈...or really what's gonna happen,so just let me talk,and...哪位Yeah?你就是斯坦·李吗Are you Stan Lee?见鬼Oh,damn.你好我叫佩妮这位是我朋友谢尔顿Hi.I'm Penny.This is my friend,Sheldon.她现在不是我朋友We're not friends at the moment.鉴于此刻形势Depends on how this goes.好吧总之Right,right.Anyway,谢尔顿是您的超级粉丝他原打算Sheldon here is a huge fan of yours,and he was supposed那天去漫画书店参加您的见面会to meet you the other day at the comic book store,可惜最后进了监狱but he kind of ended up in jail.了解你们真以为I see.And you thought这样不请自来就能随便敲我家门you'd just come over to my house uninvited?你说过我们是受邀来的You said we were invited.不不我只说我邀请你Oh,no,no,I said I'm inviting you跟我一起去斯坦·李家to come with me to Stan Lee's house.你们这些自称粉丝的真是不可思议You know,you fan boys are unbelievable.真以为只要自己高兴随时都能按我家门铃Do you think you can just ring my doorbell any time you want?既然这样干嘛不索性进门来I mean,why don't you just come on in跟我一起看湖人队比赛好了and watch the Lakers game with me?我不是很爱好体育Well,I'm not much of a sports fan,不过感谢邀请but thank you.我很抱歉I'm sorry.他不是很懂什么叫讽刺He doesn't really understand sarcasm.好吧我动点真格的他就会懂了Well,I'll give him something he'll understand.琼妮快报警Joanie,call the police!很高兴见到你Nice to meet you.《神奇四侠》《夜魔侠》Fantastic Four,Daredevil,《无敌钢铁超人》Invincible Iron Man,分别为《钢铁侠》《蜘蛛侠》中角色快乐霍根蜥蜴博士Happy Hogan,Curt Connors...你能不能消停会Would you just let it go?Fin Fang Foom是《钢铁侠》中一条龙的形象还有最糟糕的非凡龙And worst of all,Fin Fang Foom.你去哪了Hey,where've you been?我告诉你们我去哪了I'll tell you where I've been.你们或许跟斯坦·李一起吃了冰激凌You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee还得了他亲笔签名的漫画and gotten autographed comics,我可是亲自进了他家but I saw the inside of his house还得到了他亲笔签名的禁制令申请状and got an autographed application for a restraining order.赞Sweet.还有我还能再见到他等听证会的时候Plus,I get to hang out with him again at the hearing.下次我还能如法炮制This is going to look great hanging nextLeonard Nimoy史波克扮演者去要伦纳德·尼莫伊签名的禁制令to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.。

英语学习资料：《生活大爆炸》经典台词（中英双语对照版）Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm,冬天的时候，这个地方离电暖器最近，很暖和，and yet not so close as to cause perspiration;也不会很热到直流汗。

in the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there, and there.夏天的时候，这里又刚好可以吹过堂风，是来自这扇窗户和那扇的。

It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation,而且坐这里看电视的角度，可以直接看，又不会影响谈话，nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.不会太远，不至于造成脖子过分扭曲。

I could go on, but I think I've made my point.我可以继续，我想我已经说明白了。

别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?Fet? You want me to fet?我这脑子啥东西忘得掉啊!This mind does not fet.从我妈给我断奶后我就没忘掉过一件事I haven't fotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.- 那天是周二下着毛毛雨 - 好了...- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...你哭什么Why are you crying?我哭我自己蠢啊Because I'm stupid!那也没理由哭啊That's no reason to cry.人只有悲伤的时候才该哭One cries because one is sad.比如说其他人都太蠢我感到悲伤For example, I cry because others are stupid所以我才哭我和许多女生交往过Well,I've dated plenty of women.Joyce Kim还有Leslie Winkle...There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...通知牛津英语词典的编辑们Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. "许多"现在被重新定义为"两个"The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."Sheldon 你是个聪明人Sheldon,you are a *** art guy.- 你得知道 - 我是"聪明人"?- You must know... - I'm " *** art"?要被归为"聪明人" 我得去掉60点智商才行I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as " *** art."- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Koothrappali.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Hofstader.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Mr.Wolowitz.我是硕士I have a Master's degree.谁不是?Who doesn't?多年来我们一直潜心试图探究他将如何繁衍后代Over the years,we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce.我主张的是有丝分裂I'm an advocate of mitosis.什么?I'm sorry?我相信总有一天当Sheldon吃到一定量的泰国菜I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food他就会分裂成两个Sheldonand split into two Sheldons.另一方面我在想Sheldon可能是他这个物种的幼虫状态On the other hand,I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species,有一天他会做茧不出俩月就破茧成蝶and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.Howard 电话在响!Howard,the phone is ringing!我有个疯狂的主意老妈接电话如何!Here's a crazy idea,Ma: Answer it!你好?Hello?好的稍等All right,hold on.是你朋友 Leonard!It's your friend,Leonard!他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!He wants to know why you're not at school today!我不是去上学老妈我在大学就职I don't go to school,Ma. I work at a university.那就是学校! 快接电话!That's a school! Now pick up the phone!我谁都不想理I don't want to talk to anybody.要我叫Leonard把你的家庭作业带来吗?Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework? ! 我没什么家庭作业的I don't have homework.我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering! 抱歉了不起先生Excuse me,Mr. Fancy-Pants.想吃冰棒吗?Want me to get you a Popsicle?樱桃味的好吧!Cherry,please!樱桃味的我吃了只剩蔬菜味的了I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.你让我真想自杀呀You make me want to kill myself.她是位女生，她也是位朋友，但她不是我的，请原谅我做这个动作，"女朋友"She's a girl. She's a friend.She is not my-please five me for doing this--"Girlfriend."哼我不喜欢虫子怎么啦Yeah,well,I don't like bugs,okay?它们让我害怕They freak me out.有趣Interesting你既怕虫子又怕女人You're afraid of insects and women.瓢虫[英文: 女士+虫]还不得把你吓昏了Ladybugs must render you catatonic.不然你怎么考试How else are you gonna study for the tests?最好还要考试吗There's gonna be a test?可不止一次考试Test-sss.Sheldon 我看到你在为SmithsonianSo,Sheldon,I see you're anizing your papers傻冒儿博物馆赶论文呢for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.在撤下Leslie Winkle的永久展览前那里没有多余的展厅There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit.我和Sheldon谈过了他也不好受Um,I talked to Sheldon and he feels terrible and he agrees 他也觉得自己无理取闹有些过分了that he was unreasonable and out of line.真的?很好呀Really? Well,that's great.就给他道个小歉嘛?Yeah,so just apologize to him,okay?那么你和她...So,you and her...- 没啦普通邻居而已 - 真的?- No,just neighbors. - Really.隔壁住着这样的妞儿怎么都不行动啊I don't know how you live next door to that without doing something about it.其实... 科学才是我的女神Actually... science is my lady.那年是1995年The year was 1995.地点是密西西比州首府杰克逊The place: Jackson,Mississippi.我坐了整整十个小时的汽车Having spent ten hours on a bus,途中甚至两次违反了我自己定下的规定During which I had to twice violate my personal rule在行驶的车辆上上了厕所Against relieving myself on board a moving vehicle...等我终于到达I finally arrived第四届美国南部星舰迷年度大会现场At the fourth annual Dixie-Trek convention却发现我的偶像威尔•惠顿上别处玩去了Only to find that my idol Wil Wheaton decided he had决定不过来帮我的超级英雄玩具签名了Better things to do than to show up and sign my Action Figure.什么What?你背弃了我威尔•惠顿You betrayed me,Wil Wheaton.现在我的复仇来了Now I have my revenge.No,no,I understand.要是我奶奶有个三长两短Anything happened to my mee-maw,我肯定成了伤心欲绝的小甜派I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.我得澄清一下I should clarify that statement By explaining that she calls me "moon pie."我这么说是因为她叫我"小甜派"By explaining that she calls me "moon pie."这跟我爸说的完全一样That's exactly what my father said."来看球赛吧去看球赛吧""Come to the games. Watch the games."周复一周的Week in and week out from the time从五岁直到我上大学I was five until I went off to college.人生当中最漫长的七年Longest seven years of my life.这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言I see no anizational system in here whatsoever. 你周一穿什么 ***Which panties do you wear on Mondays?我不要 ***I don't need panties.只要短裤和衬衫I just need shorts and a shirt.妈妈经常跟我说My mother always told me一个人要穿干净 ***one should wear clean underpants以防发生意外in case one is in an accident.星星好漂漂啊Stars are pretty,aren't they?在那高高的地方Up above the world so high.像天上的小钻石Like little diamonds in the sky.太优美了兄弟That's beautiful,dude.你应该把这句话写下来You should... you should write that down免得被人山寨了before someone steals it.How did you see it?你说了不看的You said you wouldn't look.不好意思Sorry.正如我所说是英雄就偷窥As I told you,the hero always peeks你好克瑞普克Hello, Kripke.你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧This classic prank es to you来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿•库珀from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face,这段视频即刻就会上传到YouTubethis video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.并感谢莱纳德•霍夫斯塔德和拉杰•库萨帕里Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali 感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.我计划逃回印度去你呢实验日志第一篇Research journal, entry one.我准备开展I'm about to embark on one of科学生涯中的巨大挑战之一the great challenges of my scientific career:教佩妮物理学teaching Penny physics.我称之为大猩猩工程Please,please,I don't have a lot of time.听着 Ramona总算打瞌睡了你得帮我甩了她Look,Ramona finally dozed off,and I need you to help me get rid of her.甩了她? 怎么个甩法?Get rid of her how?我不知道但显然我正处于某种关系中I don't know,but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship,而你似乎是终结这类关系的老手and you seem to be an expert at ending them.你说什么?Excuse me?我看见男人们一个接一个从这儿离开倒是没见过再回来的I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.Sheldon 你真的很宽宏大量谢谢你我很感激Sheldon,this was big of you. Thank you. I really appreciate it.谢谢Thank you.- 晚安 Sheldon - Penny...- Good night,Sheldon. - Penny...- 啥? - 你有一手- Yes? - Well played.谢谢Thank you.但请记住能力越大责任越大 (出自)Just rember: with great power es great responsibility.明白Understood.不是厉害是错误我没有改我的状态呀It's not bold,it's a mistake. I didn't change my status.那是谁改的?Well,then who did?我没的选择他在她面前哭了I had no choice. He cried in front of her.我明白你这么做觉得自己很大方但赠送礼物的基础原则是礼尚往来I know you think you're being generous,but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity.你不是给我一份礼物You haven't given me a gift.你给了我一份责任You've given me an obligation.别太郁闷 Penny 一般新手都会犯这个错误Don't feel bad,Penny,it's a classic rookie mistake.我和Sheldon过的第一个光明节他吼了我八夜My first Hanukah with Sheldon,he yelled at me for eight nights.没事的你用不着回赠礼物的Now,hey,it's okay. You don't have to get me anything in return.我当然得回赠了Of course I do.风俗的精髓就在于我得去给你买份价值相当的礼物The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of mensurate value才能够代表你的礼物所表达的相同的情意and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me.怪不得每年这个时候自杀率狂飙呀It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.忘了这事吧我不会送你礼物了Okay,you know what? Fet it. I'm not giving you a present.不太迟了我看见了No,it's too late. I see it.那个精灵贴纸上写着"赠Sheldon"That elf sticker says,"To Sheldon."就是啊看别人热闹最乐呵I know. It's funny when it's not happening to us.Sheldon 我真的非常抱歉Sheldon,I am very,very sorry.不我自找的谁叫我出现在你生命里又那么可爱那么举足轻重呢No. No,I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life.我需要有人载我去卖场I'm going to need a ride to the mall.风水轮流转我们该倒霉了It's happening to us.这在Penny压力很大的前提下才有用That presupposes Penny is tense.她了解你她会压力很大的咱不都是嘛快买礼品篮吧!She knows you. She's tense. We all are. Buy a basket!喔太好了 Penny 你终于来交换礼物了Ah,good,Penny,you're here to exchange gifts.你一定很高兴因为我的回礼准备很周到哦You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared for whatever you have to offer.行~ 给你Okay,here.先说一句我的肠胃不太舒服I should note I'm having some digestive distress,所以要是我突然离开一阵你可别慌so,if I excuse myself abruptly,don't be alarmed.你知道这对我意味着什么吗?!Do you realize what this means?!只需要一个健康的卵细胞就可以培育属于我的Leonard Nimoy 了!All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!Sheldon 你这是干嘛?!Sheldon! What did you do?!我知道啊!I know!这点东西咋够呢It's not enough,is it?这样好了Here.Leonard 看啊 Sheldon拥抱我了诶Leonard,look! Sheldon's hugging me.真是农神节的奇迹呀It's a Saturnalia miracle.什么?What?他说也许我们该拿你参加机器人杀手大赛He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot petition.Sheldon 你干嘛呢?Sheldon,what are you doing?我和这小女孩交朋友呢你叫什么名字?I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name?RebeccaRebecca.嗨 Rebecca 我是你的新朋友SheldonHi,Rebecca. I'm your new friend,Sheldon.不别搞了走吧No,you're not. Let's go.- 我俩聊得正投机呢 - 别抬头上面有摄像头维持五个朋友的友情太困难了所以...Maintaing five friendships promises to be a Herculean task,so...我要开除你们其中一个I'm going to have to let one of you go.我我选我吧Me,me,let it be me.我有罪啊我淘汰了Guilty as charged. I'm out.不你也安全No. You too are safe.哦不是吧我该怎么做呀?Oh,e on. What do I have to do?来拿点吧有钱了再还Here. Take some. Pay me back when you can.哇里面钱还不少啊Wow,you got a lot of money in there.所以才派蛇来看守嘛That's why it's guarded by snakes.- 拿点吧 - 别犯傻了- Take some. - Don't be silly.我才不傻I'm never silly.我的花销占我税后工资的46.9%My expenses account for 46. 9% of my after-tax ine.其他钱就分摊给小的储蓄帐户The rest is divvied up between a *** all savings account,也就是这个糊弄人的花生脆罐子this deceptive container of peanut brittle还有一个超级英雄手办被掏空的 ***and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure为了他的安全起见将继续隐姓埋名who shall remain nameless for his own protection.或者说为了她的安全起见Or her own protection.我考虑了一下那个问题You know,I've given the matter some thought,我想我愿意做高智商外星人的宠物and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens.有意思Interesting.问问我为什么Ask me why.必须问啊?Do I have to?当然了这样才能继续对话啊Of course. That's how you move a conversation forward.为什么呢?Why?将会有很多学习的机会The learning opportunities would be abundant.还有呢我喜欢人家挠我肚肚Additionally,I like having my belly scratched.干得好啊 LeonardWell done,Leonard.真正的英雄不求恭维The true hero doesn't seek adulation.出于本性为正义和公平而战He fights for right and justice simply because it's his nature. 我错了I was wrong.歌手会写歌来歌颂你啊Minstrels will write songs about you.* 曾有一位勇敢的青年他的名字叫做Leonard ** There once was a brave lad named Leonard ** 满嘴跑火车逞英雄 ** With a -fi fiddle dee-dee ** 他与可怕巨人对峙 ** He faced a fearsome giant ** 而Raj却只想嘘嘘 ** While Raj just wanted to pee.*见到你真好妈妈Good to see you,Mother.这是你要的茶妈妈Here's your tea,Mother.- 乌龙茶? - 嗯- Oolong? - Yes.- 散装的不是袋泡的? - 嗯- Loose,not bagged? - Yes.- 泡了三分钟? - 嗯- Steeped three minutes? - Yes.- 加了2%的牛奶 - 嗯- Two-percent milk? - Yes.- 分开加热的? - 嗯- Warmed separately? - Yes.- 一茶勺糖? - 嗯- One teaspoon sugar? - Yes.- 原糖? - 嗯- Raw sugar? - Yes.凉了It's cold.我再来一回I'll start again.我们说到哪了?So,where were we?Howard和他妈妈一起住 Raj只有喝醉了才和女人讲话Howard lives with his mother and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk.开讲吧Go.说啥?Say what?不就是我刚说的嘛That's basically what I just said.你带老公来上班你知道规矩的You brought your hu *** and to work. You know the rules.那是我的座That is my spot.在这个不断变化的世界中那是唯一一个连续点In an ever-changing world,it is a single point of consistency.如果将我的人生比作四维笛卡尔坐标系里的一个函数If my life were expressed as a function on a four-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system,在我第一次坐上那儿的时候那个座的坐标就是(0,0,0,0)that spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.好吧All right.好了舒适惬意安逸 0 0 0There,nice and fy cozy. Zero,zero,zero.少了个0There's one more zero.你把时间参数忘了You fot the time parameter.坐你的沙发吧Sit on the damn couch.宝贝你好...Hey,baby...他的右手给他打电话了?His right hand is calling him?不是啦是Leslie Winkle 说来话长No,it's Leslie Winkle. It's a long story.但...一切都变了But... Oh,this changes everything.什么是真的? 什么不是? 我怎么知道?What's real? What isn't? How can I know?那么你们干嘛还坐火车?Well,then why are you doing it?我们投票来着 3票坐飞机Well,we had a vote. Three of us voted for airplane.Sheldon投坐火车所以我们坐火车Sheldon voted for train. So we're taking the trn.我是找到盒子了但没有钥匙Okay,I got a box,but there's no key in here.都是信Just letters.拿错盒子了放回去That's the wrg box. Put it back.哦 Sheldon 都是你外婆寄的信?Oh,Sheldon,are these letters from your grandmother?表读那些信哦!Don't read those letters!呀瞧瞧她叫你"月亮派" 多可爱啊Oh,look,she calls you "Moon Pie." That is so cute.快把信放下!Put down the letters!- 我来了 - 咋样月亮派?- I'm back. - What up,Moon Pie?除了外婆谁都不许叫我月亮派Nobody calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!她叫我月亮派是因为我太口耐她想把我吃掉She calls me Moon Pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.我是物理学家I'm a physicist.我对整个宇宙及其包含的事物都有所了解I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.Radiohead是干嘛的?Who's Radiohead?我对整个宇宙及其包含的重要事物都有所了解祝你好运了I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe. Good luck.Penny 这是你的生意你有最终决定权Penny,this is your enterprise,so it's ultimately your decision, 但鉴于Leonard的工作质量我强烈建议把他打发掉but based on the quality of his work,I'd strongly remend that we let Leonard go.你想开了我?You want to fire me?我想怎样没关系是Penny的决定What I want is irrelevant. This is Penny's decision.早知道我要在周六晚上做这个我还不如待在印度You know,if I wanted to spend my Saturday nights doing this,I could have stayed in India.Penny 打工仔团体是需要好好教育的Penny,the labor force is a living ani *** that must be carefully nurtured.任何会产生不良后果的抱怨必须及时喝止看着Any counterproductive grumbling must be skillfully headed off by management. Observe.少说话多干活Less talk,more work!- 做的好 - 谢谢- Nicely done. - Thank you.你要看到什么交头接耳告诉我You hear any union talk,you let me know.要不要来点咖啡?Honey,do you want some coffee?我不喝咖啡I don't drink coffee.行了你要是睡过去了我们肯定完成不了Come on,but if you don't stay awake we'll never finish in time.对不起但是我绝不喝咖啡I'm sorry,coffee's out of the question.当我搬来加利福尼亚我答应妈妈不磕药的When I moved to California,I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.Sheldon 我们还有380个要做呢Sheldon,we still have 380 of these things to make.晚安你们行的我对你们绝对有信心I have plete faith that you will make them. Good night.Leonard?Leonard?但是 Shelon 没了你英明的领导我们的事业绝对是做不起来的But,Sheldon,without your insight and leadership this entire enterprise will surely fail.当然你说的对You're right,of course.来这个会有帮助Here,this will help.好吧但要这让我上瘾或产生幻觉Very well,but if this leads to opiates or hallucinogenics,你得去和我妈交待了you're going to have to answer to my mother.好吧我了解了你生气了Okay,I get it,you're angry.你不愿见到你的小鸟飞离巢穴You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest."小鸟"? 你都快30了!"Little bird"? You're almost 30!飞吧我的神呐!Fly,for God's sake!好我不搬! 开心了吧疯婆子?Fine,I'll stay! Ya happy,crazy lady?这么说吧我要怎么解释好呢?Oh,let's see. How can I explain this?他们不知道如何使用他们的盾Um,they don't know how to use their shields.盾?Shields?是的就像里的当你要战斗时你要举起你的盾Yeah,you know,like inStar Trek,when you're in battle and you raise the shields?这想法从哪儿冒出来的?Where the hell'd that e from?Penny 我发现你今晚也是一个人所以如果在某个时候Penny. I realize you're also on your own tonight,so if,at some point,你感觉到无聊了请千万不要来打扰我you find yourself with nothing to do,please do not disturb me.我几个礼拜前去你们那儿你们正巧不在我就忘在那儿了Well,I went in there a few weeks ago and you guys weren't home and I fot it there.你去了我的... 为什么... 你在说什么?You went in my... Why would... What are you saying?又没啥大不了的我不过是泡咖啡时没牛奶了It's not a big deal. I was making coffee and I ran out of milk.你是那个偷奶贼!You're the milk thief!Leonard说我多心了可我就是觉得盒子变轻了Leonard said I was crazy,but I knew that carton felt lighter Penny?干嘛What?我睡不着I can't sleep.也许是因为你的大窟窿还张着Maybe that's because your hole is still open.我想家I'm homesick.你家离这不过20尺Your home is 20 feet from here.20尺还是20光年这都不重要20 feet,20 light-years,it doesn't matter.在我这如同一个星系那么遥远It's in a galaxy far,far away.可恶Damn it.你想让我怎么办What do you want me to do?给我唱"软软凯蒂猫"Sing "Soft Kitty."那是只有你生病时才唱的歌That's only for when you're sick.思家也是一种病Homesick is a type of being sick.拜托真的要唱吗Come on,do I really have to?那设想下我们通宵达旦闲话家常I suppose we can stay up and talk.- Penny? - Yeah?谢谢你留我在这过夜Thank you for letting me stay here.不客气甜心You're wele,sweetie.好我已经困了你出去Okay,I'm sleepy now. Get out.不知道我为啥要担心I don't see why I have to worry.又不是我的事业悬而未决My career's not hanging in the balance. 开玩笑呢That was a joke.很好笑It's funny,因为这是事实because it's true.休斯顿这里是国际空间站Houston,International Space Station.我们这有点小状况We have a little situation up here.我们要临时安排一次太空行走We'd like to make an unscheduled space walk.国际空间站这里是休斯顿I.S.S.,Houston.将有哪些成员出舱?Which crew members would be involved in this E.V.A.?我们都想出舱走走Houston,we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes.这将不予批准I.S.S.,I'm afraid we can't authorize that.其实我们只是通知一下Houston,this is more of an FYI call.我们已经被迫出舱了We are basically out the door.好家伙的我的宗教说如果我们这一世受苦下一世会得到回报的My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next.和Sheldon在北极呆三个月Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon,我就能转世投胎成一个长翅膀的大 *** 亿万富翁了!and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!。

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E13 – The Bozeman ReactionScene: A Chinese restaurant.Howard: Boy, seems like forever since the four of us have been out to eat, you know? Just the guys. Raj: Oh, God! Yes, we get it. You have a girlfriend now.Howard: A little jealous, are we?Raj: No, I’m not jealous. All right, I’d kill a hobo if it’ll get me laid. Now, can we order?Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, they re-did the menu.Leonard: So what? It’s the same food.Sheldon:Oh, is it? Look at this. General Tso’s Chicken is no longer listed under specialties. It’s now under chicken.Raj: So?Sheldon: Y es, General Tso.Raj: Not Tso the chicken, so the question. So?Sheldon: So, why is it no longer a specialty? Did the chef lose confidence in the dish or himself? And look over here, shrimp in mobster sauce. What is mobster sauce?Leonard:It’s obviously a typo.Sheldon: Perhaps. Perhaps this restaurant’s now a front for organized crime. For all we know, the mobster sauce contains actual chunks of deceased mobsters.Raj: No, no, no, no, I think it just means it’s the kind of sauce that mobsters like.Howard: It doesn’t mean any of that! It’s a typo.Leonard:You know what? Let’s just get a pizza.Sheldon: Good idea. We’ll go to Corleone’s.Howard: Sure, no mobsters thereScene: The stairwell.Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the mobster sauce couldn’t possibly contain chunks of mobster.Leonard: And why is that?Sheldon: It was listed under seafood.Leonard: What if they were mobsters who slept with the fishes?Sheldon: Leonard, are we having a serious conversation or not?Leonard (noticing their door has been broken open): What the…?Sheldon: The TV is gone.Leonard: So are our laptops.Sheldon: Oh God, oh God, oh, God! It’s all right. They didn’t take my comic books.Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Sheldon: They took our TV, two laptops, four external hard-drives, our PS2, our PS3, our X-Box, our X-Box 360, our classic Nintendo, our Super Nintendo, our Nintendo 64 and our Wii.Leonard: We like games.Sheldon: Right, games. They took Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3, Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3, Rock Band, Rock Band 2, Final Fantasy 1 thru 9, The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Galaxy, Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics and Ms. Pacman.Policeman: Assorted video games.Sheldon: When does the CSI team get here?Policeman: What?Sheldon: In anticipation of their arrival, I’ve bagged some evidence. O ne of the thieves had the audacity to quench his thirst while ransacking our home. You should be able to pull some good prints off this. And now, here are my prints so you can rule me out as a suspect.Leonard: What about me?Sheldon: I’m sorry, Leonard. It’s too early to discount the possibility of this being an inside job.Leonard: Would I be completely out of line to ask you to shoot him?Policeman: I’d be happy to put him under a 72-hour psychiatric hold.Sheldon:I’m not crazy. My mother had me tested.Policeman:We’re done here. Call this number, and we’ll fax you a copy of the report so you can submit it to your insurance company.Sheldon:I’m sorry, that’s the end of your inquiry?Policeman: Do you have any more information that might be relevant?Sheldon: Oh, my goodness. Where do I begin? For instance, my laptop contained four out of the five gedanken experiments necessary for a cogent restatement of the quantum measurement problem. Leonard: How is that going to help them?Sheldon:Well, they could monitor scientific publications and see if anyone posts such a cogent restatement in the next couple of months. If so, the authors are most likely in possession of my stolen laptop.Policeman: Good night, fellas. Come on, Bochco.Leonard: What are we supposed to do now?Sheldon: The only thing we can do. Watch TV on our phones until the criminals return and bludgeon us to death in our sleep.Leonard:Does that mean you’ve ruled me out as a suspect?Sheldon: Oh, how I wish I could.Scene: Sheldon’s bedroom. Sheldon is restless. He gets up and checks the door is locked. He then moves his chest of drawers in front of the door. Goes back to bed.Sheldon: I do not have to urinate. I am the master of my own bladder. Drat.Scene: Penny’s apartment.Penny:I can’t believe it. If I hadn’t been working the dinner shift, I would’ve runright into the robbers.Leonard: Hey, there’s no reason for you to be scared.Penny:I’m not scared. I would’ve gone all Nebraska on their asses.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny.Leonard: Hand me the bat.Sheldon: We just had a major crime in the building, and you open the door without asking who it is? Penny:It won’t happen again, what’s up?Sheldon: Nothing. Just wanted to see if you were both okay.Leonard: We’re fine, Sheldon.Sheldon: All right, then. Good night.Penny: Good night. That was weird, even for him.Leonard: Mm-hmm.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock,knock, knock) Leonard and Penny.Penny: Who is it?Sheldon: Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper.Penny: Yes?Sheldon: May I come in?Penny: Yeah.Sheldon:I see you’re drinking wine.Leonard:Yes, we are. And we’re about to go to bed.Sheldon: Uh-huh.Penny: Sheldon, do you want to sleep here tonight?Sheldon:Oh, as small as Leonard is, I don’t think the two of you’d be comfortable on the couch. Leonard: What do you want?Sheldon:It’s not what I want, it’s what evolution wants. Human beings are primates. Primates have evolved to live in groups, both for protection and support.Leonard:But you don’t like other people.Sheldon:I do tonight. It’s scary over there.Leonard:It’s getting scary here, too.Scene: The apartment. Sheldon is drawing picture clues on his whiteboard.Penny: Um… three little kittens? Three little pigs? God, I don’t know. Star Wars?Leonard: Did we win? Can we go to bed?Sheldon: Good Lord, I could not have made this easier. Hydrogen atom, H, plus pigs minus pea, Higgs. Bow, General Zod trapped in the Phantom Zone. Bow-zone. Pear. Tickle. Pear-tickle. Higgs Boson Particle. How could you not get that?Leonard:He’s right, Penny. It’s all there.Penny:Look, Sheldon, sweetie, I know you’re feeling insecure, but we’ve really got to go to sleep. Sheldon:All right. I’ll take the first watch and wake you at 0400.Leonard: Great. Good night.Penny: Wait, wait, what’s 0400?Leonard: 4am.Penny: That’s, like, in 45 minutes.Leonard: Just keep walking. (Sheldon checks door then puts TV on his phone)Woman on TV:It’s quiet out there.Man on TV: Maybe a little too quiet.Woman on TV: Where are you going?Man on TV: Just gonna take a look around outside.Sheldon: Bad idea.Woman on TV:No, Jim, don’t open the door!Sheldon: Listen to her, Jim.Man on TV: Don’t worry, there’s no one out here. (Sound of woman screaming. Sheldon nods, and turns off TV. Walks down to Leonard’s room.)Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny! (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny! (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny!Leonard: Who is it?Scene: Outside the apartment.Howard: All right, we’ve got a titanium dead bolt and a reinforced jamb controlled by a state-of-the-art electronic access system.Sheldon: What if they cut the power?Raj: There’s a 200-watt uninterruptible backup power supply.Sheldon: What if someone steals my keys?Raj: There are independent voice and fingerprint scanners.Sheldon: What if someone kidnaps me, forces me to record my voice, and then cuts off my thumb? Leonard: I’ll send them a basket of muffins.Howard: Now, inside, we’ve got motion detectors, infrared sensors, and cameras connected to a server running state-of-the-art facial recognition software.Leonard: Where did you get all this stuff?Howard: I got a buddy over at the Department of Defence.Leonard: He just gave it to you?Howard:I’m sure he would have if I had asked. Ironically, their security isn’t all that good.Penny (entering): Raj, your car is blocking me… (A wire net falls on her, while a computer voice repeats the words “Intruder Alert”) What the hell?Leonard: Sorry, let me help you.Sheldon:Wonderful security system if we’re attacked by a school of tuna.Howard: Don’t worry, the net’s going to be electrified. Picture her on the floor, spasming uncontrollably. Sheldon: Better.Scene: Sheldon’s bedroom.Sheldon: Sheldon’s journal. Security system in place. However, sleep continues to elude me. I’ve seen the underbelly of Pasadena, this so-called City of Roses, and it haunts me. Ah, the injustice, I lie here awake, tormented, while out there evil lurks, probably playing Donkey Kong on my classic Nintendo. (Hears a noise. Goes to check, then panics and climbs out window onto ledge.) Oh, dear. I am the master of my own bladder. (Crawls al ong to Leonard’s window, where Leonard and Penny are inside being intimate. Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny.(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny.Penny: Oh, my…Leonard: God, Sheldon. What the hell are you doing out there?Sheldon: I heard a noise.Leonard: It was us. We knocked over a lamp.Sheldon: Why would you knock over a lamp?Leonard:We were going to have…Penny:He doesn’t need to know what we were doing, Leonard.Sheldon:Oh! No, she’s right, I don’t need to know what you were doing. Carry on. (Starts to climb back out of window)Leonard: What are you doing? Use the door.Sheldon:Good thinking. Perhaps I’ll check the perimeter and make some warm milk.Leonard: Great, you do that.Sheldon: Would you like me to bring you some warm milk?Leonard:I’m lactose intolerant.Sheldon:And you don’t wish to alarm me with any more loud noises, very thoughtful. Warm milk, Penny? Penny: No, thanks.Sheldon: Fine. Good night to you, sir. Miss.Leonard: Sorry about that.Penny: Ugh, what can you do? Here. (From outside there is the sound of the net falling and computer voice saying “Intruder alert.” Then Sheldon screaming. They run out to find Sheldon convulsing under the net.) Leonard: Looks like Wolowitz got the net electrified.Penny: Sheldon, are you okay?Sheldon:I’m fine. Although I’m no longer the master of my own bladder.Scene: The apartment.Sheldon: My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don’t like that.Leonard: Don’t you think looking for a new city to live in is a bit of an overreaction?Sheldon:Our apartment was broken into, our security system tried to kill me, and as a result, I’m leaving Pasadena forever. Tell me how that’s overreacting.Penny:Come on, Sheldon, you can’t move. Don’t you need to stay in one place so the mother ship can find you when it returns?Sheldon:Oh, if that were only true. Unfortunately, as I’m earthbound for the foreseeable future, I need to find a location that’s more hospitable than the mean streets of Pasadena. Like Enid, Oklahoma. Low crime rate and high-speed Internet connectivity, but no model train shops. Sorry, Enid.Penny: Is he quitting his job at the university?Leonard:Oh, no, he’s going to telecommute. Everybody’s really excited about it.Sheldon:All right. Boone, North Carolina. Every summer since 1952, Boone has hosted an outdoor amphitheater portrayal of the life and times of its namesake, Dan’l Boone. Sounds like something that would attract the wrong crowd. Penny, you’re from Nebraska, correct?Penny: Born and raised. (Sheldon crosses Nebraska off his map)Scene: Sheldon’s bedroom. Sheldon is packing.Sheldon: It will take me a few days to get settled. After I do, I will e-mail you detailed PDFs containing diagrams and instructions that will guide you through packing and shipping the rest of my possessions to Bozeman, Montana. In the meantime, please forward my mail.Leonard: Any place specific or just the Bozeman, Montana Loony Bin?Sheldon: I sense you’re making a joke, but Bozeman does have a comedy club called The Loony Bin, so do not forward my mail there.Howard:Oh, come on. So you were the victim of a crime. That’s part of life. When my great- grandfather first came to this country, he put all his hopes and dreams into this little butcher shop he ran on the Lower East Side of New York. You know what happened? Every customer who walked into that butcher shop and asked for a pound of liver, got ripped off. But, those people moved on, and so should you.Sheldon: I am moving on. I’m going to be a Bozite.Leonard: They call themselves Bozites?Sheldon:They should. It’s one of the first things I plan to bring up upon arrival.Penny: Sheldon, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m going to miss you.Sheldon:Please, Penny, as you know, I’m not comfortable with prolonged good-byes and maudlin displays of emotion, so I prepared a short video.Sheldon on laptop screen: Greetings. As you know, I’m not comfortable with prolonged good-byes and maudlin displays of emotion, so I prepared this short video. The four of you are three of my closest friends and one treasured acquaintance. Though I cannot state categorically that my life will be diminished by not having you in it, I am comfortable if you choose to believe that. Since you intend to remain in this lawless metropolitan area, statistics suggest that you will succumb to tragic and gruesome ends before we meet again. Live long and prosper.Penny:Sheldon, that’s so… (Turns to find he has gone.)Sheldon (entering again): You might want to lock the door behind me. This isn’t Bozeman.Howard (after Raj whispers to him): How the hell do I know who’s the friend and who’s the acquaintance?Scene: Bozeman, Montana bus depot.Sheldon: That is a bracing cold, an invigorating cold. Lord, is it cold!Man: Help you with your bags, sir?Sheldon: Thank you, fellow Bozite. And may I say, you are the living embodiment of all the promises made by our lovely town’s Chamber of Commerce. (Man picks up bags and starts running.) Wait! Wait! Excuse me! (At ticket desk) One ticket to Pasadena, California, please.Scene: The apartment. Sheldon enters.Howard:Hey, look who’s back!Sheldon: Interesting. The acquaintance is the first to greet me.。

生活大爆炸第3季中英字幕1000:00:01,300 --> 00:00:03,700莱纳德看我的Hey, Leonard, check this out.200:00:08,230 --> 00:00:10,230莱纳德她又来了Leonard, she's doing it again.300:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,860我觉得你调戏食物会让谢尔顿郁闷I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food.400:00:13,930 --> 00:00:17,300不应该是她从碗里随便拿起食物No. It upsets Sheldon when she willy-nilly takes it500:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,200而不顾还要平均分配的问题时让谢尔顿很郁闷from the containers without regard for its equitable distribution.600:00:20,260 --> 00:00:24,230这就是印度有饥荒的根本原因This is essentially why you have famine in India.700:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,960你要我吐回去吗You want me to put it back?800:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,560莱纳德Leonard.900:00:30,630 --> 00:00:34,500当你调戏谢尔顿时会让谢尔顿郁闷It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.1000:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,930怎么样啊我亲爱的呆瓜们What's up, my nerdizzles?1100:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,260拉杰谢尔顿Raj, Sheldon,1200:00:40,330 --> 00:00:42,200我想将我的女朋友伯纳黛特引见与你们I want you to meet my girlfriend Bernadette.1300:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,960-你好 -莱纳德佩妮你们认识我的女友伯纳黛特的-Hello. -Leonard, Penny, you know my girlfriend Bernadette.1400:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,200伯纳黛特跟呆瓜们说绝对的Bernadette, say fo'shizzle to my nerdizzles.1500:00:49,230 --> 00:00:51,730我不能这么说I don't think I can.1600:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,430我没有霍华德那种街头痞子风I don't have Howard's street cred.1700:00:55,530 --> 00:00:56,530我希望这没造成问题I hope it's all right--1800:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,870我跟我的女朋友伯纳黛特说I told my girlfriend Bernadette1900:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,400她可以跟我们共进晚餐she could join us for dinner.2000:00:59,470 --> 00:01:00,400当然可以人多乐趣多Sure. The more, the merrier.2100:01:00,470 --> 00:01:02,530不对这是个错误的对等关系Wa-- no, that's a false equivalency.2200:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,070人多不等于乐趣多More does not equal merry.2300:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,530如果这公寓里现在有两千人If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now,2400:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,130那我们会很开心吗不我们会窒息而死would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.2500:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,330-谢尔顿 -别郁闷我- Sheldon... - Don't "Sheldon" me.2600:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,150我们定的是五人份不是六人We ordered for five people, not six.2700:01:13,150 --> 00:01:14,160来不没事儿的Oh, come on, it's fine.2800:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,440我们全部摊在桌上分享就好就像家庭聚餐式的We'll just put it all on the table, you know, family style.2900:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,390噢那是当我们家庭聚餐时为什么不把手背到背后Oh, sure. And while we're at it, why don't we put our hands behind our backs,3000:01:19,390 --> 00:01:21,290来个老式的进食大赛呢have an old-fashioned eating contest?3100:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,010放轻松没事儿的坐吧你们Relax, it'll be fine. Sit down, you guys.3200:01:26,570 --> 00:01:27,510别别别No! No! No!3300:01:27,570 --> 00:01:28,410怎么了What?!3400:01:29,410 --> 00:01:32,170对了你不能坐那儿Oh, yeah, you can't sit there.3500:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,110为什么不能Why not?00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:34,670那是谢尔顿的专属座位That's where Sheldon sits.3700:01:34,740 --> 00:01:36,210他不能坐其他地方吗He can't sit somewhere else?3800:01:37,810 --> 00:01:39,370不不不你看啊在冬天呢No, no, no-- you see, in the winter,3900:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,740这个座位与暖气片的距离足够让他保持温暖that seat is close enough to the radiator so that he's warm,4000:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,170但又不会太近以至于出汗yet not so close that he sweats.4100:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,170而在夏天这个位置又正好处在In the summer, it's directly in the path of4200:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,540由这个和那个窗口之间对流所产生的微风之中a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there.4300:01:47,610 --> 00:01:49,870这儿的角度并不是直接面朝电视It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct,4400:01:49,940 --> 00:01:51,340所以他还能跟所有人交谈so he can still talk to everybody,4500:01:51,410 --> 00:01:55,110同时又不会太偏导致画面失真yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.4600:01:57,710 --> 00:02:00,410看来你还是孺子可教的嘛Perhaps there's hope for you after all.4700:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,620生活大爆炸第三季第十集4800:02:27,870 --> 00:02:29,270喔我喜欢你的鞋子Ooh, I love your shoes.4900:02:29,340 --> 00:02:30,270谢谢Oh, thanks.5000:02:30,340 --> 00:02:31,470很可爱不是吗They are cute, aren't they?5100:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,370-你在哪儿买到的 -实惠鞋店- Where'd you get them? - Shoes for Less.5200:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,810我正有此意要去那儿I've been meaning to go over there.5300:02:34,870 --> 00:02:38,010东西很多价格也便宜Oh, great selection, great prices.5400:02:38,070 --> 00:02:41,040我娘说的对确实有地狱My mother was right. Hell is real.5500:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,210别这样谢尔顿Come on, Sheldon.5600:02:43,270 --> 00:02:45,070让妇女们聊吧Let the womenfolk chat.5700:02:47,140 --> 00:02:49,010妇女Womenfolk?5800:02:49,070 --> 00:02:50,440少女Gals?5900:02:50,510 --> 00:02:51,570妞儿Chicks?6000:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,670有子宫的美国人Utero-Americans?6100:02:54,740 --> 00:02:56,940吃你的饭吧Just eat your dinner.6200:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,670别太跟他较真儿Don't take him too seriously.6300:02:58,740 --> 00:03:02,440他说的很多话本是故意为了幽默一下的A lot of what he says is intended as humor.6400:03:02,510 --> 00:03:04,710是啊但我一点也不觉得有趣Yeah, well, I don't think it's very funny.6500:03:04,770 --> 00:03:08,370我也是但是我一笑他就灿烂了Me neither, but he just lights up when I laugh.6600:03:10,570 --> 00:03:13,310霍华德不能让她跑了Howard, never let her go.6700:03:15,340 --> 00:03:17,170莱纳德霍华德说你正在进行So, Leonard, Howard says y ou're working on6800:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,870一些量子力学的基本测试fundamental tests of quantum mechanics.6900:03:18,940 --> 00:03:19,910没错I am.7000:03:19,970 --> 00:03:21,440你对物理感兴趣吗Are you interested in physics?7100:03:21,510 --> 00:03:22,810我觉得很很吸引人Oh, I find it fascinating.7200:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,040如果我没有选择微生物学的话If I hadn't gone into microbiology,7300:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,970我也许就会进军物理了I probably would have gone into physics.7400:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,910或者冰舞Or ice dancing.7500:03:29,970 --> 00:03:32,070事实上我对于阿哈伦诺夫-博姆的Actually, my tests of the Aharonov-Bohm7600:03:32,140 --> 00:03:34,570量子干涉效应实验已经到达了一个很有趣的阶段quantum interference effect have reached an interesting point.7700:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,070现在我们正在测试基于电势的Right now, we're testing the phase shift7800:03:36,140 --> 00:03:37,470相位偏移due to an electric potential.7900:03:37,540 --> 00:03:38,610真是太棒了That's amazing.8000:03:38,670 --> 00:03:41,710那是莱纳德的工作几乎就跟Yes. Leonard's work is nearly as amazing8100:03:41,770 --> 00:03:44,940三年级小学生用湿毛巾种青豆一样棒as third graders growing lima beans in wet paper towels.8200:03:46,940 --> 00:03:49,370虽然我很欣赏你的 "喔又损人了"While I appreciate the "Oh, snap,"8300:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,110但你那温湿的口气飘进我的耳中令我很不舒服I'm uncomfortable having your moist breath in my ear.8400:03:55,310 --> 00:03:57,240你会用Are you going to try8500:03:57,310 --> 00:03:59,510穿隧结合来设定电压吗to set up the voltages using tunnel junctions?8600:04:00,510 --> 00:04:01,610是的Yes, I am.8700:04:01,670 --> 00:04:03,640你要看我笔记本上的模拟情况吗You want to see a simulation on my laptop?8800:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,170好啊给我看看Oh, yeah, show me.00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,540在微生物学中我做过的最激动人心的事情In microbiology, the most exciting thing9000:04:07,610 --> 00:04:09,770也就是跟酵母玩玩I get to work with is yeast.9100:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,610霍华德Howard?9200:04:11,670 --> 00:04:12,640怎么了Yeah?9300:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,340你的鞋子真漂亮Your shoes are delightful.9400:04:16,740 --> 00:04:20,070你在哪儿买的Wher e did you get them?9500:04:20,140 --> 00:04:20,970什么What?9600:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,310逗你玩儿我才不关心呢Bazinga. I don't care.9700:04:31,340 --> 00:04:32,810哈吃灰吧你Ha! Eat my dust,9800:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,870万年不变的古板水管工racially ster eotypical plumber.9900:04:37,570 --> 00:04:39,540这不公平That's not fair.10000:04:39,610 --> 00:04:41,270我被一棵树卡住了I got stuck behind a tree.10100:04:41,340 --> 00:04:43,170外加一只母牛和企鹅And a cow and a penguin.10200:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,110认了吧兄弟Face it, dude,10300:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,610不管是现实的车还是虚拟的卡通车whether it's a real car or a virtual cartoon car,10400:04:47,670 --> 00:04:49,910你都不能驾驭you can't drive.10500:04:49,970 --> 00:04:51,670只需要点练习而已Just need a little more practice.10600:04:51,740 --> 00:04:55,140你需要的是金手指驾驶技巧和一盏神灯What you need is cheat codes, motor skills and a magic genie10700:04:55,210 --> 00:04:58,640来帮马里奥赛车小废柴实现愿望who grants wishes to little boys who suck at Mario Kart.10800:05:00,740 --> 00:05:03,710谢尔顿我能跟你说两句话吗Hey, Sheldon, can I talk to you for a second?10900:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,340这跟鞋没关系对吧It's not about shoes, is it?11000:05:06,410 --> 00:05:08,510我不想再聊鞋子了I don't think I could go through that again.11100:05:08,570 --> 00:05:10,010跟鞋子无关It's not about shoes.11200:05:10,070 --> 00:05:11,270那就说吧Then speak.11300:05:11,340 --> 00:05:14,010我们能私下谈吗Um, actually, can we do it in private?11400:05:14,070 --> 00:05:14,840好吧All right.11500:05:14,910 --> 00:05:17,370走开Go away.11600:05:19,070 --> 00:05:22,810我知道很无礼但她要私下谈I agree, it's rude, but she asked for privacy.11700:05:22,870 --> 00:05:23,940谢谢拉杰Thanks, Raj.11800:05:24,010 --> 00:05:26,740事情是这样的Okay, so here's the thing:11900:05:26,810 --> 00:05:30,370我想请你教我一点物理学I was wondering if you could maybe teach me a little physics?12000:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,110一点物理学A little physics?12100:05:34,440 --> 00:05:35,510没有这个说法There's no such thing.12200:05:35,570 --> 00:05:37,510物理学包含整个宇宙Physics encompasses the entire universe,12300:05:37,570 --> 00:05:40,110从量子粒子到超新星from quantum particles to supernovas,12400:05:40,170 --> 00:05:43,370从自旋电子到旋转星系from spinning electrons to spinning galaxies.12500:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,370行Yeah, okay, cool.12600:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,610不用说得像广播特别报导一样I don't need the PBS special.12700:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,040只要了解到I just want to know enough12800:05:47,110 --> 00:05:49,140能和莱纳德谈他的工作就行so I can talk to Leonard about his job.12900:05:49,210 --> 00:05:50,570就像伯纳黛特那样You know, like Bernadette does.13000:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,170干嘛不叫莱纳德教你Why can't Leonard teach you?13100:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,710我想给他个惊喜'Cause I want to surprise him.13200:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,810就不能以其他方式给他惊喜吗Can't you surprise him in some other way?13300:05:55,870 --> 00:05:57,810比如你要是打扫一下房间For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback13400:05:57,870 --> 00:06:00,040我肯定他又惊又喜if you cleaned your apartment.13500:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,710拜托谢尔顿这对我很重要Come on, Sheldon, this is important to me.13600:06:02,770 --> 00:06:03,840佩妮Penny,13700:06:03,910 --> 00:06:05,240教你可是艰巨的任务this would be a massive undertaking,13800:06:05,310 --> 00:06:08,070我的时间既有限又宝贵呢and my time is both limited and valuable.13900:06:08,140 --> 00:06:10,610你整天都坐着玩电子游戏呢You're sitting here playing video games all day.14000:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,170被你说中了Okay, point.14100:06:14,470 --> 00:06:16,510你学了哪些基础知识What sort of foundation do you have?14200:06:16,570 --> 00:06:18,940学校教过什么科学课吗Did you take any science classes in school?14300:06:19,010 --> 00:06:21,110有我做过青蛙的实验Sure. I did the one with the frogs.14400:06:24,140 --> 00:06:26,940青蛙的实验The one with the frogs.14500:06:27,010 --> 00:06:28,340对其实挺好玩的Yeah, actually, it was pretty cool.14600:06:28,410 --> 00:06:31,440很多女生都吐了但我把小青蛙像鹿一样宰了A lot of the girls threw up, but I gutted that thing like a deer.14700:06:31,510 --> 00:06:33,040抱歉佩妮I'm sorry, Penny.14800:06:33,110 --> 00:06:34,410恕我无能为力I don't think so.14900:06:34,470 --> 00:06:35,570别这样嘛Oh, come on!15000:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,370你这么聪明就当挑战一下A smart guy like you, it'll be a challenge.15100:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,870当成实验来做嘛You can make it like an experiment.15200:06:40,940 --> 00:06:43,270有意思Interesting.15300:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,610既然别人能教I suppose if someone could teach sign language15400:06:45,670 --> 00:06:48,540KoKo大猩猩学手语to KoKo the gorilla...15500:06:48,610 --> 00:06:50,970我也能教你基本物理学I could teach you some rudimentary physics.15600:06:51,040 --> 00:06:51,970太好了Great!15700:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,210虽然有点侮辱人但很好It's a little insulting, but great.15800:06:54,270 --> 00:06:55,210我就做KoKo吧I'll be KoKo.15900:06:55,270 --> 00:06:56,410不见得吧Not likely.16000:06:56,470 --> 00:06:58,340KoKo学会了超过两千个单词KoKo learned to understand over 2,000 words,16100:06:58,410 --> 00:07:02,040没有一个跟鞋子有关呢not one of which had anything to do with shoes.16200:07:03,410 --> 00:07:04,610伙计们好Hey, fellas.16300:07:04,670 --> 00:07:06,740这是在下的女友伯纳黛特This is my girlfriend Bernadette.16400:07:06,810 --> 00:07:09,470在下的女友伯纳黛特My girlfriend Bernadette.16500:07:09,540 --> 00:07:10,940他们都是谁Who are all those people?16600:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,110不知道Have no idea.16700:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,140好啊莱纳德Hey, Leonard.16800:07:14,210 --> 00:07:15,570好瞧瞧Hi. Hey, look,16900:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,240这不是霍华德的女友伯纳黛特嘛it's Howard and his girlfriend Bernadette.17000:07:18,310 --> 00:07:21,740带这位小美人逛逛这老盐矿Thought I'd give the little woman a tour of the old salt mines.17100:07:21,810 --> 00:07:24,310他说的不是盐矿He doesn't mean salt mines.17200:07:24,370 --> 00:07:26,970他说的是工作地点He means where he works.17300:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,470对我知道Yeah, no, I got it.17400:07:31,070 --> 00:07:33,240你的实验进展如何So, how's your experiment going?17500:07:33,310 --> 00:07:34,570很顺利Ah, terrific.17600:07:34,640 --> 00:07:35,970我们正在准备电子加速器W e're getting the electron accelerator set up.17700:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,910后天就能准备好We should be ready to go day after tomorrow.17800:07:37,970 --> 00:07:39,870真想见识一下Boy, I'd love to see that.17900:07:39,940 --> 00:07:41,010欢迎你来You're welcome to come.18000:07:41,070 --> 00:07:43,170真的吗太好了Really? Oh, that'd be great.18100:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,970多兴奋啊How exciting is that?18200:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,870简直就像七月过光明节一样Like Hanukkah in July.18300:07:47,940 --> 00:07:49,940七月有光明节吗Do they have that?18400:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,440没有No.18500:07:54,810 --> 00:07:56,370又被你糊弄了You got me again.18600:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,810这不是脱脂酸奶This isn't non-fat yogurt.18700:08:00,870 --> 00:08:02,510简直全是脂肪This is fatty fat fat.18800:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,840失陪一下Excuse me.18900:08:04,910 --> 00:08:06,170心肝儿能帮我拿张餐巾吗Could you grab me another napkin, sweetie?19000:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,170-当然可以 -谢谢宝贝- Sure. - Thanks, honey.19100:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,570说你打什么如意算盘All right, what is your deal?19200:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,940你说什么Excuse me?19300:08:13,010 --> 00:08:14,210邀请我女朋友Inviting my girlfriend19400:08:14,270 --> 00:08:16,670去看你的电子加速器to come see your electron accelerator?19500:08:16,740 --> 00:08:18,340怎么了Yeah? So?19600:08:20,010 --> 00:08:23,140你真有两下子You really are a piece of work.19700:08:23,210 --> 00:08:24,270舞会皇后It's not enough19800:08:24,340 --> 00:08:26,140被你弄到手还不满意you get the prom queen, you have to get19900:08:26,210 --> 00:08:28,310你还想抢走陪衬头牌呢the head of the decorating committee, too?20000:08:28,370 --> 00:08:30,410你在说什么呢What are you talking about?20100:08:30,470 --> 00:08:32,170别跟我装无辜Don't play innocent with me.20200:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,640用神奇实验设备勾引女人I practically invented20300:08:33,710 --> 00:08:37,140这招是我发明的using fancy lab equipment to seduce women.20400:08:37,210 --> 00:08:38,910成功过吗Has it ever worked?20500:08:38,970 --> 00:08:41,270目前没有重点不是这个Not so far, but that's not the point!20600:08:41,340 --> 00:08:42,470霍华德别紧张Howard, relax.20700:08:42,540 --> 00:08:45,210我对你女朋友没兴趣I'm not interested in your girlfriend.20800:08:45,270 --> 00:08:46,470最好如此I hope not.20900:08:46,540 --> 00:08:49,540你不会想跟我瞎搅和Because you don't want to mess with me.21000:08:54,470 --> 00:08:57,670我可是疯子I'm crazy.21100:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,770我相信你I believe you.21200:09:02,140 --> 00:09:04,510实验日志第一篇Research journal, entry one.21300:09:04,570 --> 00:09:06,110我准备开展I'm about to embark on one of21400:09:06,170 --> 00:09:10,440科学生涯中的巨大挑战之一the great challenges of my scientific career:21500:09:10,510 --> 00:09:14,140教佩妮物理学teaching Penny physics.21600:09:14,210 --> 00:09:16,540我称之为大猩猩工程I'm calling it Project Gorilla.21700:09:18,540 --> 00:09:20,440好啊谢尔顿Hey, Sheldon.21800:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,110请进坐吧Come in. Take a seat.21900:09:23,140 --> 00:09:25,540实验目标已到Subject has arrived.22000:09:25,610 --> 00:09:28,870我亲切地欢迎她I've extended a friendly casual greeting.22100:09:28,940 --> 00:09:30,470准备好开始了吗Ready to get started?22200:09:30,540 --> 00:09:31,740稍等One moment.22300:09:36,240 --> 00:09:40,410目标气色很好也很热情Subject appears well-rested and enthusiastic.22400:09:40,470 --> 00:09:42,470显然无知是福Apparently, ignorance is bliss.22500:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,370好吧我们开始All right, let us begin.22600:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,040你的笔记本呢Where's your notebook?22700:09:50,110 --> 00:09:52,110我没笔记本Um, I don't have one.22800:09:52,170 --> 00:09:54,610那你咋记笔记How are you going to take notes without a notebook?22900:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,510还得记笔记吗I have to take notes?23000:09:56,570 --> 00:09:58,810不然你怎么考试How else are you gonna study for the tests?23100:09:58,870 --> 00:10:00,170最好还要考试吗There's gonna be a test?23200:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,670可不止一次考试Test-sss.23300:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,140给Here.23400:10:06,210 --> 00:10:07,270这是大学规定It's college-ruled.23500:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,010希望没吓着你I hope that's not too intimidating.23600:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,070多谢你的体贴Thank you.23700:10:13,140 --> 00:10:14,070不客气You're welcome.23800:10:14,140 --> 00:10:15,970现在开始讲物理学入门Now, Introduction to Physics.23900:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,840什么是物理What is physics?24000:10:18,910 --> 00:10:22,840物理这个词来源于古希腊语中的"physika"Physics comes from the ancient Greek word "physika."24100:10:24,970 --> 00:10:27,240你该记笔记了It's at this point that you'll want to start taking notes.24200:10:29,510 --> 00:10:32,570"Physika"是指自然科学"Physika" means the science of natural things.24300:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,710而就在那遥远的古希腊我们的旅程开始了And it is there, in ancient Greece, that our story begins.24400:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,340-靠古希腊 -嘘- Ancient Greece?! - Hush.24500:10:38,410 --> 00:10:40,410有问题先举手If you have questions, raise your hand.24600:10:41,740 --> 00:10:45,170那是在大约公元前600年的一个仲夏夜It's a warm summer evening, circa 600 BC.24700:10:45,240 --> 00:10:49,240当你从集市[古希腊圣贤集会所]购物归来You've finished your shopping at the local market, or Agora...24800:10:52,910 --> 00:10:55,110抬头仰望夜空...And you look up at the night sky.24900:10:55,170 --> 00:10:58,810突然你发现星星在游弋There you notice some of the stars seem to move,25000:10:58,870 --> 00:11:03,440于是你将他们命名为"行星"或"漫游者"So you name them "planetes," or "wanderer".25100:11:09,710 --> 00:11:10,640佩妮同学有问题吗Yes, Penny?25200:11:10,710 --> 00:11:13,870这和莱纳德的研究有什么关系Um, does this have anything to do with Leonard's work?25300:11:13,940 --> 00:11:17,310这是一个历时2600年的旅程This is the beginning of a 2,600-year journey25400:11:17,370 --> 00:11:21,890我们慢慢讲不急追溯到古希腊We're going to take together from the ancient Greeks25500:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,110从艾萨克·牛顿到尼尔斯·玻尔[原子理论和量子力学的创始人] Through Isaac Newton to Niels Bohr25600:11:24,170 --> 00:11:25,810再到埃尔文·薛定谔[创立波动力学]To Erwin Schrodinger25700:11:25,870 --> 00:11:27,410再到荷兰研究学派To the Dutch researchers25800:11:27,470 --> 00:11:29,470莱纳德近来就在重复他们的研究呢That Leonard is currently ripping off.25900:11:29,540 --> 00:11:33,070居然有2600年2,600 years?26000:11:33,140 --> 00:11:34,270没错可能有些许误差Yeah, give or take.26100:11:34,340 --> 00:11:36,670正如我之前所说在那遥远的古希腊As I was saying, it's a warm summer evening26200:11:36,740 --> 00:11:38,210一个氤氲的仲夏夜In ancient Greece...26300:11:38,270 --> 00:11:40,070怎么了佩妮同学Yes, Penny?26400:11:40,140 --> 00:11:41,910我要去洗手间I have to go to the bathroom.26500:11:41,970 --> 00:11:43,170 你就不能憋一下吗Can't you hold it?26600:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,840 我可憋不了2600年Not for 2,600 years.26700:11:55,110 --> 00:11:57,840 大猩猩实验日志2Project Gorilla, entry two.26800:11:57,910 --> 00:12:00,110 我被榨干了I am exhausted.26900:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,970 -霍华德 -怎么- Howard? - Huh?27000:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,710 这个要从前面解开的It unhooks in the front.27100:12:20,710 --> 00:12:23,240 难怪啊Oh, that explains a lot.27200:12:27,110 --> 00:12:30,870 霍华德我回来了Howard, I'm home!27300:12:30,870 --> 00:12:33,040 整栋楼都听到了Of course.27400:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,840老年健身取消了Senior fitness was cancelled.27500:12:35,910 --> 00:12:38,940我发现原来还真会忘了怎么骑车It turns out you can fo rget how to ride a bike.27600:12:39,010 --> 00:12:44,740我是没啥但山姆·哈普蒂安摔了个嘴啃泥I'm fine, but, oy, did Sam Harpootian eat gravel.27700:12:44,810 --> 00:12:47,110太棒了娘That's great, Ma!27800:12:47,170 --> 00:12:49,87080多的亚美尼亚老人摔断了半边下巴What's great about an 80-year-old Armenian man27900:12:49,940 --> 00:12:52,610有什么可棒的With half his chin scraped off?!28000:12:52,670 --> 00:12:54,170我想我得走了I guess I should go.28100:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,540不别动No, no, don't move.28200:12:55,610 --> 00:12:58,640娘晚饭我想吃炖羊肉Hey, Ma, can I have lamb stew for dinner?28300:12:58,710 --> 00:13:02,110炖羊肉那我还得去超市买Lamb stew? I'd have to go to the supermarket.28400:13:02,170 --> 00:13:03,370帮帮忙啦Please?28500:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,410我真的很想吃嘛I got a real hankering.28600:13:07,740 --> 00:13:12,470噢我最疼我家小屁脸宝贝了Oh, I can't say no to my little tushy face.28700:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,610我很快回来I'll be back soon.28800:13:14,670 --> 00:13:15,870多谢啦娘Thanks, Ma.28900:13:18,810 --> 00:13:21,940你要家常豌豆还是拉素豌豆[豌豆的一种]Do you want the regular peas or the Le Seur?29000:13:22,010 --> 00:13:25,270平时不都是加拉素豌豆的吗Always Le Seur peas with lamb stew!29100:13:25,340 --> 00:13:28,240好吧你总是说得有理You're right! When you're right, you're right!29200:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,470如果拉素豌豆卖完了咋办What if they're out of the Le Seur?29300:13:32,540 --> 00:13:34,540那就买家常的啊Then get the regular!29400:13:34,610 --> 00:13:37,910好吧你别冲我吼啊All right! You don't have to yell!29500:13:39,370 --> 00:13:41,640抱歉Sorry about that.29600:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,840我来调成震动Let me just put that on vibrate.29700:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,340我早就调好啦I'm already on vibrate.29800:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,140这个我可听懂了You know, that one I got.29900:13:52,810 --> 00:13:55,140霍华德你和莱纳德说起我什么了吗Howard, did you say something to Leonard about me? 30000:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,540什么意思Uh, what do you mean?30100:13:56,610 --> 00:13:58,670他说我要是明天去看他的实验He says if I go see his experiment tomorrow30200:13:58,740 --> 00:14:00,470可能你会感觉不好It might weird you out.30300:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,210是吗他这样说吗Really? He said that?30400:14:02,270 --> 00:14:04,210你不是在吃莱纳德的醋吧You're not jealous of Leonard, are you?30500:14:04,270 --> 00:14:06,340我才没有呢Me? No.30600:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,770我只是说在没和别人商量的情况下I may have mentioned that it's a little inappropriate30700:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,570邀请别人的女友去看他的实验To be asking another man's girlfriend to his experiment30800:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,240这样有点不太合适Without first discussing it with said man.。

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E04 – The Pirate Solution[Scene: The apartment].Sheldon: This movie baffles me every time we watch it.Leonard: What do you mean?Sheldon:Well, the instructions are very clear, don’t feed the gremlins after midnight, don’t get the gremlins wet. How hard is that?Penny (arriving): Hi, guys. Hi, honey.Leonard: Hey.Howard: Ooh, we’re honey now, are we?Sheldon:Yes. Since their relationship became carnal, Penny has upgraded his designated term of endearment, thus distinguishing him from those she calls sweetie, usually in an attempt to soften a thinly-veiled insult.Penny: You’re boring people sweetie.Sheldon: Although, sometimes, she omits the veil entirely.Penny: So, what are you guys doing?Howard: Celebrating Columbus Day.Leonard: We’re watching Goonies, Gremlins and Young Sherlock Holmes. They were all written by Chris Columbus.Penny: Okay. What do you watch on Thanksgiving?Sheldon: The parade.Penny: Oh, you know, that reminds me, I usually go back to Nebraska for thanksgiving, but this year they’re calling it off on account of my brother’s trial.Leonard: What’s he on trial for?Penny:Oh, just a big misunderstanding. You know, you’d actually like my brother, he’s kind of a chemist. Anyway, I was thinking I’d have thanksgiving here, and you are all invited.Leonard: Oh. I’ll be there.Sheldon: Will you be serving cranberry jelly or cranberry sauce?Penny: I guess I could serve both.Sheldon: You guess? You don’t seem to have much of a handle on this.Howard: Yeah, I really wish I could, Penny, but every year my mother has all the relatives over and cooks up her famous tur-briska-fil.Penny: Tur-briska-fil?Howard: Turkey stuffed with a brisket stuffed with gefilte fish. It’s not as good as it sounds.Penny: Raj, what about you?Howard: Oh, he usually comes to my house. Right, pal? (Raj bursts into tears and runs away) All right, this year, you don’t have to eat the tur-briska-fil. I don’t even chew it. I swallow it like pills.【Opening Credits】[Scene: A few moments later.]Leonard:So, what’s going on with Raj?Howard: Well, the good news is, he has no problem with my mother’s tur-brka-fil.Penny: Hard to believe, but go on.Howard: The bad news is, he says he’s getting deporte d.Leonard:What do you mean, he’s getting deported?Sheldon: I believe it means that the U.S. Government is going to expel him from the country. He could theneither return to his native India, emigrate to another country that’s willing to accept him, or wander the high seas as a stateless pirate. Personally, I’d choose pirate.Howard: Penny, would you mind stepping outside so we can speak to him?Penny: Ugh, fine. But the man really needs to work on his girl issues.Sheldon: Another reason to consider a l ife of piracy. Even today, I understand that’s an all-male profession. Howard: Okay, she’s gone.Raj: Sorry. I lost my cool.Leonard:So, what’s going on?Raj:Okay, here’s the deal, six months ago, my research testing the predicted composition of trans-Neptunian objects ran into a dead end.Howard: So?Raj: So, my visa’s only good as long as I’m employed at the university, and when they find out I’ve got squat, they’re going to cut me off. By the way, when I say squat, I mean diddly-squat. I wish I had squat. Leonard: So, wait, what have you been doing for the past six months?Raj: You know, checking e-mail, updating my facebook status, messing up wikipedia entries. Hey, did you know Netflix lets you stream movies on your computer now?Sheldon: And you’ve continued to take the university’s money under false pretences? Highly unethical for an astrophysicist. Although practically mandatory for a pirate.Raj: I don’t want to go back to India. It’s hot and loud, and there’s so many people. You have no idea, they’re everywhere.Howard: Okay, guys, think, how do we keep Raj in the country?Penny (from outside): Why doesn’t he just get another job?Howard (after Raj whispers to him): What are you asking me for? I don’t know if you can talk now or not.[Scene: The university cafeteria.]Raj:Oh, beef, I’m going to miss you so much. Do you know, at the Mumbai McDonald’s, you can’t get a Big Mac? All you can get is a Chicken Maharaja Mac. And the special sauce, curry, which, in India,believe you me, is really not that special.Leonard: Don’t worry, you’ll find another job.Raj:Yeah let me start practicing for it. Do you want fries with that Maharaja Mac?”Sheldon: Hi, Leonard. Hello, Raj.Raj: Hello Sheldon.Sheldon: Forgive me, as you know, I’m no adept at reading facial cues, but I’m going to take a stab here, you’re either sad or nauseated.Raj: I’m sad.Sheldon:I was going to say sad. I don’t know why I hedged.Raj: What are you eating?Sheldon: Elbow macaroni with ground hamburger and tomato sauce.Raj: Oh, beefa roni. I think I’ll miss you most of all.Leonard: I’ve always been a little confused about this. Why don’t Hindus eat beef?Raj: We believe cows are gods.Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like God.Raj: Do not tell me about m y own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I’m in, I’ll take you out, I swear to cow! Sheldon: I’m sorry.Raj: Me, too. I’m just, I’m a little on edge.Sheldon: Understandable. Your entire life seems to be crumbling around you, and your future appears bleak at best.Raj: Thank you.Sheldon: And you’re wrong about Hinduism and cows.Howard (arriving): Hey, Raj, guess what. Professor Laughlin is looking for someone to join the stellar evolution research team.Raj: You, you’re kidding. That’s fantastic!Howard: Come on, what are you waiting for? Call him and set up an interview.Raj: I’m on it.Sheldon:That’s happy, right?Leonard: Yeah.Sheldon: Nailed it.[Scene: Professor Laughlin’s office.]Prof Laughlin: Dr. Koothrappali, come on in. I was surprised to hear you were interested In joining our little team. Giving up on those trans-Neptunian objects, are we?Raj: No, no, it’s a very promising area. In a perfect world I’d spend several more years on it. But I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work with you on your tremendously exciting and not yet conclusively disproved hypothesis.Prof Laughlin: Splendid. Uh, please sit down. Can I offer you a sherry?Raj: It’s a little early, isn’t it?Prof Laughlin: Not on Proxima Centauri.Raj: That’s very good. Jolly amusing, but if you don’t mind, I’ll hold off until sunset on titan.Prof Laughlin: Oh, well done. I have a feeling you’re going to fit in just fine, Dr. Koothrappali.Raj: Thank you, sir.(There is a knock on the door. A young woman enters)Woman:I’m sorry. Am I late?Prof Laughlin: No, no, no. Right on time. Dr. Koothrappali, may I present Dr. Millstone from MIT. She’ll be heading up our data analysis team.Dr Millstone: It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Koothrappali. I read your paper on Kuiper belt object size d istribution.I really enjoyed it. How did you correct for the selection bias?(During this, Raj surreptitiously wanders over to where Prof Laughlin’s drinks are, pours himself a large sherry and knocks it back in one.)Raj: Well, I ran a simulation that allowed me to correct for the observational efficiency.Dr Millstone: That’s just fascinating.Raj: Thank you. Would you like to hear more about it in my hot tub? So, when do I start?[Scene: The apartment.]Howard:What do you mean you didn’t get the job? How could you not get it?Raj: You know, he’s British, I’m Indian, ever since Gandhi they haven’t liked us very much.Leonard: Wait, are you saying that he discriminated against you? Because we should file a complaint. Raj:That’s okay. A complaint has been filed. So, that’s it. That was my last hope. I’m going to be deported, sent home in disgrace, exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay. Or, as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service.Howard: I’m really going to miss you.Raj: Will you come visit me in India?Howard: Gee, that’s, like, a 17-hour flight. How about I meet you halfway?Raj: Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of Japan.Howard: Tell you what, we’ll skype.Sheldon (arriving): Gentlemen.Leonard: Hey.Sheldon: Raj, did you get the job with Professor Laughlin?Raj: No.Sheldon: I assumed as much. But never fear. Like the subordinate male protagonist in countless action movies who disappears half way through the second reel, I have returned to save the day. Odd, usually, he’s met by cheers. Anyway, I was thinking about exploring the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations, and it occurred to me that I could benefit…Leonard: Excuse me, Sheldon, how many reels before the subordinate male protagonist gets to his point? Sheldon: I’m sorry, if you didn’t cheer at my entrance, it’s too late to buy into the premise. Anyway, I got some extra money from the head of the department, and raj can come work for me.Raj: You want me to work with you?Sheldon: For me. You’re going to have to listen more carefully when you’re on the job.Raj:Okay, uh, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather swim buck-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow, agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you. Sheldon: For me.[Scene: Sheldon’s office.]Raj (knocking and entering): Sheldon, are you busy?Sheldon: Of course I’m busy.Raj: Shall I wait?Sheldon: Yes, please. (After about 30 seconds) How may I help you?Raj:I’ve reconsid ered your offer to let me work with you.Sheldon: For me.Raj: Yes, for you. I do, however, have a few conditions. First, at all times, I am to be treated as a colleague and an equal. Second, my contributions shall be noted in all published material. And third, you are never allowed to lecture me on Hinduism or my Indian culture.Sheldon:I’m impressed, Raj. Those are very cogent and reasonable conditions.Raj: Thank you.Sheldon: I reject them all.Raj: Then you leave me no choice. I accept the job.Sheldon: I’m sorry, I believe you’ve misunderstood. I’m not giving you the job. I’m simply affording you the opportunity to apply for it. Have a seat, we’ll get started with the interview.Raj:Wha… You’re kidding!Sheldon: Please.Raj: All right.Sheldon: So, t hat’s what you wear to an interview?Raj: Come on, dude, we’ve been friends for years.Sheldon: Oh, pulling strings, are we?Raj: Sheldon, for God’s sakes, don’t make me beg.Sheldon: Bazinga! You’ve fallen victim to another one of my classic practical jokes. I’m your boss now. You may want to laugh at that.[Scene: The apartment.]Penny:Ah, it’s nice having the place to ourselves, isn’t it?Leonard: Uh-huh. Now that Raj is working for Sheldon, I don’t have to chauffeur him around anymore. Plus, yeah, with them working late so much, we get some privacy.Penny: Mm-hmm. Hey, want to get a little crazy?Leonard: What are you thinking?Penny: Let’s slide over to Sheldon’s spot a make out.Leonard: You are a dirty girl.(as the making out is interrupted by a knock on the door)Penny: Oh, God, how did he know?Howard: Hello.Leonard: Hi, Howard.Howard: Am I interrupting?Leonard: Little bit, yeah.Howard: Guess I should have called.Penny: Yeah, maybe.Howard: Tonight’s the night I usually go line dancing with R aj at the palomino.Leonard: Uh-huh.Howard:But he’s working with Sheldon.Penny: Yes, we know.Howard: Want me to leave?Leonard: You know, whatever.Howard: Okay, I guess I can hang for a little while. So what are we watching? Sex and the city.Yikes.Penny: Hey, I happen to love this movie.Howard: Fine, let’s watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize.[Scene: Sheldon’s office.]Sheldon: All right, we’re going to be designing an experiment to look for the annihilation spectrum resulting from dark matter collisions in space.Raj: Ooh, dark matter. We better bring a flashlight. I was making a joke.Sheldon: I’m the boss. I make the jokes.Raj: Sorry, go ahead and make your joke.Sheldon: This is not the time for joking. We’re doing serious research, which requires complete and utter focus.Raj: All right, let’s buckle down and work.(To the tune of Eye of the Tiger by Survivor, there is a montage of images, in all of which Sheldon and Raj are staring at the same equation on a whiteboard.)Raj: Sheldon.Sheldon: What?Raj: I need an aspirin.Sheldon: Top desk drawer.Raj: Thank you.Sheldon: Alright?Raj: Yes.Sheldon: Good.(Montage of scenes resumes)[Scene: Penny and Leonard exiting Leonard’s bedroom. ]Leonard: That was fun. Thank you.Penny: L eonard, honey, you don’t have to say thank you every time we have sex.Leonard: Oh. Okay. Tomorrow you’re going to get a card in the mail. Just throw it away.Howard:Top o’ the mornin’o ya!Leonard: What are you doing here?Howard: Well, usually, on Sunda ys, I go with Raj to scam on hippie chicks at the farmers market, but he’s stillworking with Sheldon, so I thought I’d come over here and make you guys scrambled eggs and salami. It’s the perfect meal for apres l’amour.Penny: Oh, kill me.Howard: By the way, I couldn’t help overhearing your big finish. Bravo, Leonard.Penny: See, if you had killed me when I said kill me, I wouldn’t have had to hear that.Howard: What do you guys think? Want to take in a matinee, maybe go rollerblading, catch a step class? Penny: Do something.Leonard: Yeah, okay. Um, Howard, we need to talk.Howard:Sure. ‘sup, homes?Leonard: Uh, please understand that it’s not that we don’t want you around, but Penny and I occasionally need some alone time.Howard:Oh. I get it, I’m the third wheel. Sorry, I should have seen that. I’ll get out of your way. Uh, you’re gonna want to eat those eggs while they’re still hot.Leonard: Thank you. There’s lox and cream cheese in the fridge, the bagels are in the oven, I was warming them up.Penny:That’s great.Howard: I just hang out with my mom. That’s always fun.Leonard: Good.Penny: Are we terrible people?Leonard: I don’t know. What do you want me to do?Penny: Get him, bring him back.Leonard: Are you sure?Penny: Yeah.Leonard: Okay. Howard come back.Howard: Oh, you guys had me scared for a minute.[Scene: Sheldon’s office. Sheldon is writing on the whiteboard.]Raj:No, no, no, no! That rate is much too low for what we’d expect from this collision. Do you understand that we’re talking ab out dark matter colliding in outer space?Sheldon: Of course I understand. And who are you to tell me about outer space?Raj:I’m the astrophysicist. Astro means space.Sheldon: Astro means star.Raj: Okay, well, let me just tell you, if we were having thi s argument in my native language, I’d be kicking your butt.Sheldon: English is your native language.Raj: Okay, you got me there, but you’re wrong about this!Sheldon: There is a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately you have to be a visionary to see it. Raj: My god, you think that every thought that comes out of your head is pure gold. Well, let me tell you something. Some of those thoughts are pure caca.Sheldon: Caca?Raj: It means doo-doo.Sheldon: All right! First of all, Dr. Koothrappa li, when I first proposed that you work with me…Raj: Aha! So I am working with you.Sheldon: In this context, with me means for me.Raj: Ah, well, in this context… (blows raspberry)Sheldon: Oh! If I’m wrong, prove it.Raj: Okay. Here’s where we derive th e mass of the dark matter particle.Sheldon: No, no, no, you’ve misstated the atomic weight of the target.Raj: Let me finish.Sheldon:You’re defacing my work.Raj: I’m not defacing it, I’m fixing it.Sheldon: Give me the eraser.Raj: No.Sheldon: I said give it to me.Raj: Come and get it.Sheldon: Fine. (Uses hand as an eraser. Then realises his hand is dirty) Oh, lord. Dr. Koothrappali, as your superior, I forbid you from writing on my board!Raj: You are not my superior.Sheldon: I am in every way.Raj: Oh, yeah? Can you do this? ( Performs complex finger trick ) Nice working with you. I’m sorry, for you. (Exits. Sheldon stares a moment, then tries to perform the trick. Fails.)[Scene: Outside Raj’s flat].Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Raj. (Knock, knock, knock) Raj. (Knock, knock, knock) Raj.Raj: I’m busy.Sheldon: Doing what? (Performs finger trick again) All right, you’ve made your point.Raj: What do you want, Sheldon?Sheldon: I looked over the board and it turns out you were right.Raj: So you were wrong.Sheldon: I didn’t say that.Raj: That’s the only logical inference.Sheldon: Nevertheless, I didn’t say it. Anyway, I would like you to come back and work for me.Raj: For you or with you?Sheldon: In this context for me could mean with me.Raj: All right, but I have some conditions.Sheldon: I reject them all.Raj:I’ll take the job. See you Monday.Sheldon: Wait, you have to drive me home.Raj: How did you get here?Sheldon: I walked.Raj: So walk home.Sheldon: I can’t. There’s a big dog out side. On the way home, we can start thinking about methods of optimizing the detector for 500 GEV particles.Raj: All right. (As they walk down the corridor, Eye of the Tiger starts playing again.)(* to perform trick, place both hands together as if praying, then fold two middle fingers over so that they pass to the right of one another, finally rotate right hand anti-clockwise and waggle both middle fingers)。

Sheldon: It's not suspicious that I'm fixating. It's consistent with my personality. 我专注一件事没什么奇怪的。

我一直就这性格。

Raj: Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing.木乃伊与僵尸是一模一样的东西。

Leonard：Oh, yeah? Mummies are wrapped in bandages. 是吗？木乃伊全身裹着绷带呢Raj: That’s called a fashion choice.那是人家的时尚风格Sheldon：If a zombies bites you, you turn into a zombie. However, if a mummy bites you, all you turn into is someschmo with a mimmy bite. So, like a zombie, that’sbeen eaten from the waist down, you, sir, have no leg to stand on.如果你被僵尸咬了，你也会变为僵尸。

但如果是木乃伊咬你，你只会变成有木乃伊咬痕的白痴。

所以你就像是个被人啃掉下半身的僵尸一样，说的话完全“站不住脚”。

Howard: Guess who picked up his new car this morning?你们猜猜谁今早弄了台新车Raj: Does it have that new car smell?里面有新车味吗？Howard: Yep! For as long as I can keep my mother out of it.有的！只要不让我妈上车就有。

Leonard: Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it.可能是看你从不停车就从新分配给别人了吧。