精选爆笑英语段子

英语经典爆笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语经典爆笑笑话：Keep feeding him nickelsA mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”英语经典爆笑笑话：Dumas仲马One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact，my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”有一天，一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马，讥笑他的祖先。

幽默英语段子一、校园幽默1.- 英语课上，老师问小明：“How do you spell 'cow'?”（你怎么拼写“奶牛”这个单词？）- 小明回答：“C - O - W.”- 老师又问：“What does a cow give us?”（奶牛给我们提供什么？）- 小明想了想说：“Lies. Because my father always says 'I have a cow' when he is lying.”（谎言。

因为我爸爸说谎的时候总是说‘我有一头奶牛’。

） - 原因：这里利用了“have a cow”这个英语习语，它的意思是“非常生气、激动”，但是小明按照字面理解，把它和真正的奶牛联系起来，制造出了幽默的效果。

2.- 学校组织英语演讲比赛，主题是“Myself”（我自己）。

- 小红上台说：“I'm a very special person. I'm like a dictionary. Everyone comes to me for words, but no one really understands me.”（我是一个非常特别的人。

我就像一本字典。

每个人都来找我要单词，但是没有人真正理解我。

）- 原因：把自己比作字典，形象地表达了在学习英语过程中，可能自己英语比较好，大家都来问单词，但是却感觉别人没有真正理解自己内心的那种微妙情绪，这种独特的比喻带来了幽默的感觉。

二、家庭幽默1.- 儿子问爸爸：“Dad, why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?”（爸爸，为什么“缩写”这个单词这么长呢？）- 爸爸一脸无奈地说：“Well, son, it's a long story.”（儿子，说来话长啊。

）- 原因：单词“abbreviation”本身是“缩写”的意思，但是这个单词却很长，爸爸回答“说来话长”，是一种幽默的双关语，既表示这个问题不好回答，又巧妙地回应了这个单词的矛盾性。

关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。

而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。

今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。

我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。

从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。

轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。

下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。

轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。

我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。

那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。

三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。

其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。

超级搞笑的英文文案1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." 我不是在争论，我只是在解释为什么我是对的。

2. "I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to charge my camera." 我有过目不忘的记忆力，但我总是忘记给相机充电。

3. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it." 我正在进行海鲜饮食法。

我看到食物就吃。

4. "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure." 我以前很犹豫不决，但现在我不确定了。

5. "I want to be like a caterpillar and eat leaves all day. But then I remember I'm not a caterpillar." 我想像毛毛虫一样整天吃叶子。

但我又想起我不是毛毛虫。

6. "I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed." 我太擅长睡觉了，我可以闭着眼睛做。

7. "My doctor told me to stop having香辣鸡翅 for breakfast. But I said,'Doc, it's the only thing that keeps me going in the morning!'" 我的医生告诉我不要再把香辣鸡翅当早餐吃了。

但我说，“医生，这是早上唯一能让我有动力的东西！”8. "I've been told I have a good sense of humor, but I don't get the joke." 有人告诉我我很有幽默感，但我不明白这个笑话。

英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。

下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。

超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话除了民间口头流传的笑话外,成书的笑话集也是读书人经史子集之外不可或缺的闲趣。

下面是店铺带来的超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话，欢迎阅读!超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话篇一Put Yourself in My place 设身处地替人想一想Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse. Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.某一农场上，老妈要老爸去修理茅房。

老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回来了。

“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that shithouse, Mom.”“那个茅房什么问题也没有啊，孩子的娘。

”Mom took Dad back to the outhouse and stuck his head down in the hole.老妈将老爸带回茅房，把他的头塞进茅坑当中。

“Hey,” said Dad, “my beard is stuck!”“嘿!”老爸说道“，我的胡子粘住了!”“Aggravatin’, ain’t it?”“问题严重了，是不是呢?”超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话篇二A Satisfied Customer 一位心满意足的客户A rough-looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.“I wanna open a god-damned checking account.”有一位相貌粗鲁的家伙走进银行对柜台职员说：“我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。

”“Certainly, sir,” replied the young lady, “but there’s no need to use that kind of language.”“当然可以啦，先生，”年轻的小姐回答说“，但没有必要使用那种字眼。

英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。

The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。

”那小男孩说。

英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。

下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。