modernfamiliy摩登家庭中英文对译

Is everybody ok? 大家没事吧I'm fine. Thanks for waiting. 我没事谢谢你没丢下我What was that? 发生什么事了Water either gas line, the training is the same. 水管和煤气管爆炸的逃生方式都一样People, just stay low and move out. 大家弯腰前行马上离开房子Honey, Luke's gone. 老公卢克不见了Claire, spontaneous human combustion is very rare. 克莱尔人体自燃十分少见I don't think he exploded, Phil. 我不觉得是他自爆了菲尔The rope ladder works. At least someone followed protocol. 绳梯很管用至少有人是按逃生规程来的Oh! Oh, it's there! 是那个Smoke is coming out of Luke's stupid suitcase. 烟是从卢克该死的魔术箱里冒出来的Like his old man, Luke is a magician. 有其父必有其子卢克也是个魔术师I'm taking lessons from some guy my dad found online. 教我魔术的是我爸上网搜来的大师He came personally recommended from the guy who runs 他可是有莫德斯托巫师大会The Warlock Conference up in Modesto. 举办者的个人推荐呢Ocupad, big guy. 此位有人了大块头Find another foxhole. 请另寻良枝吧*This is how we learn to sing 大家跟我一起学唱歌**Who can go up here with me? 谁来跟我一起唱*Cam took a job teaching music at the local middle school. 小卡要去本地中学当音乐老师了Yeah, his first day is tomorrow. 明天就是上班第一天I'm excited for me, 我为自己开心but I'm probably more excited for the students 但更为我的学生开心because a great teacher is a gift. 因为优秀的老师是天赐的礼物Hasn't started yet. 还没正式上岗呢I have to tip my hat to my high school music teacher... 我要向我的高中音乐老师致敬A real force of nature 此人带有自然的魔力who was also the defensive coordinator for the football team 同时身兼橄榄球队的防守员and supervised calf birthing for the animal husbandry club.和农场动物俱乐部的牛犊接生监察员Doris Olson. Great lady. 朵莉丝·奥尔森一位伟大的女士Lady. 好一位女士*This is how... we learn to sing 大家跟我一起学唱歌**This is how... we learn to sing ■Ay, Jay, I'm going to miss you. 杰人家会想你的It's one night. 只是一晚上而已No, I don't want to be without you, 不人家不想和你分离not even one night in my whole life. 我这辈子一晚都不能离开你What can I make you? 我能为你做点什么How about a little room on my side of the bed? 在床上给我腾点位置怎么样I mean, I shouldn't complain. My wife's a knockout. But... 我是不该抱怨我老婆美艳动人但是she's at that place in her pregnancy 她现在处于孕期中的某个阶段where, she's, you know... ample. 她变得臃肿And the snoring. 还打呼噜I swear in the last ultrasound, the baby was like this... 我发誓上一张超音波片里婴儿是这样的So I should be home about noon tomorrow. 我明天中午就能到家Who drank all the coffee? 谁把咖啡都喝完了Oh, I, uh, I had quite a bit of that. 我喝了不少You know, I haven't, um, been sleeping too well. 我最近晚上睡得不太好There's actually a funny story about what's causing that. 失眠的原因说来也挺好笑Mom, I'm fully aware of the changes your body is going through, 妈我非常理解您的身体正经历着变化and that nasal stuffiness is very common during pregnancy, 鼻塞也是怀孕时常见的现象but we got a crisis in this house. 但家里的情况已经刻不容缓了You've been snoring. But I got you these nasal strips. 你打呼太严重了我帮你买了呼吸辅助贴In the commercial, 广告里the old man's angry red sound waves turn a gentle blue.连老头如雷般的呼噜声也能化为轻柔之音- So I'm like an old man? - No! -所以我打呼像老头子吗 -不是Like a dog then? A pig? 那我是像狗还是像猪What is it, Manny? I'm an old man, a dog, or a pig? 怎么曼尼我是老头子还是狗或猪Jay, help me out here. You've heard it. 杰帮我说两句你也听到呼声了I don't know what the boy's talking about. 我完全不知道这孩子在说什么If this is a glimpse of teenage Manny, I don't love it. 如果这是青春期的曼尼我可不喜欢Have a little respect for your beautiful mother. 你妈这么漂亮你要尊重她Thank you, Jay. 谢谢你杰You're right. Sorry, mom. 你说得对我错了妈妈And, Jay, 杰Have a great trip to San Francisco. 祝你在旧金山玩得愉快Okay, Lily's drop-off time is between 8:45 and 8:50, 莉莉到校的时间是8点45到50之间so you should be fine to get work by 9. 所以你应该能来得及9点上班Here is her checklist for her backpack. 这是她背包内容的清单Oh, I have this whole thing planned. 我一切都计划好了Okay, I'm gonna walk in, take off my jacket, 我款款步入教室脱下我的外套and say, "Here comes treble." 大声宣布高音号在此Big swing on the first day. 上班第一天扭得挺欢啊Please don't tamp down my enthusiasm. 请不要打击我的热情Okay, what else? 好了还有什么Oh! The dimmer came in for the switch, 对了调光器的开关有问题so I want you to call the electrician, but not Brad. 你去请个电工来但是别找布拉德Remember? We had a problem with him last time about the billing.还记得上次我们为账单和他不太愉快吗He wanted his name above the title? 因为他想要名列账单[演员表]前茅He wanted his name above the title? [此处指的应是与著名影星布拉德·皮特同名] Yes, you've done that joke before. So cute. So funny. 你讲过这个笑话了好可爱好好笑What else? Oh! 还有什么哦Lily needs to get a present for Gio's birthday party. 莉莉需要为吉奥的生日派对准备礼物And don't be thrown by the invitation. 别被请帖迷惑了It is a pirates party, not a pilates party. 是海盗主题派对不是普拉提健身派对Now sit. I wanna talk juice boxes. 过来坐好我再说说果汁盒的事Cam. Cam, I know what's happening here. 小卡小卡我知道你现在什么状况You're feeling very anxious about your first day at work, 你第一天上班感觉特别紧张And you're focusing that anxiety on my day with Lily.然后你把焦虑转移到我带莉莉这件事身上Really? Are you sure I'm not 真的吗你不觉得completely confident about my first day 我对这第一天充满了信心吗because it's gonna be a home run. 人家肯定满分表现啦And I am worried about you because you're taking on 而我担心你是因为你的任务a little bit more of the Lily load? 可不只是照顾莉莉呢Don't be scared, sweetie. Mwah! 别怕亲爱的么哇She's not scared! What are you doing? 她才不怕呢你这是干嘛- Just call me if you need me. - I won't! -需要我就打电话给我 -不会的And thank you for managing my expectations today. 非常感谢你控制一下我的期望值Not necessary. 但其实没必要I saw you practicing a bow last night. 我昨晚看到你在练习鞠躬That was just in fun. 练着玩儿而已You know, I highly doubt some teenagers are gonna 我觉得那些孩子是不会throw rose petals at my feet. 往我脚边撒玫瑰花瓣的But I wouldn't be surprised 但是我第一堂课结束后if I got slow-clapped out of my first class. 掌声蔓延不息什么的也不足为奇Wrong. 错了I am thinking. 我还在想呢If you were thinking, 如果你真的用脑在想you wouldn't have Seattle as the capital of Washington.就不会把西雅图当成华盛顿州的首府了It's Spokane. 是斯波坎Sure, which makes the 11th president of the United States 好吧那美国的第11任总统就成了Sure, which makes the 11th president of the United States [正确的应为詹姆斯·波尔克] "James k. Pslk." 詹姆斯·波斯克Okay, Alex, stop. 好了艾丽克斯别这样I'm trying to figure this out. 我正在想呢Buzz. Time's up, dummy. It's Olympia. 哔哔时间到笨蛋是奥林匹亚Make sure you sound out the big scary words. 记得在表演时喊出那吓死人的行话哦Mom, something's on my mind, and it's really bothering me. 妈妈有件事让我很苦恼Yeah, it's really bothering me, too, 对啊也让我很苦恼But I think it's gonna be rich, 但我觉得她以后可能是个女富豪so we better be nice to it. 所以我们要对她好一点I wanna quit magic. 我不想再学魔术了What? 什么I'm not really interested anymore, 我真的没什么兴趣了but I don't think dad's gonna be happy. 但我想爸爸会不高兴的Oh, sweetheart. Don't worry about disappointing your father. 宝贝别担心让你爸爸失望He only wants you to do it if you wanna do it. 他只会希望你去做你真正喜欢的事Tell you what. I will talk to dad-- 不如这样吧我跟你爸谈谈Whoa! Talk to dad? That sounds serious. 哇跟老爸谈谈一本正经的样子Don't do drugs. 不许嗑药Stay in school. 不要逃学Luke wants to quit magic. 卢克不想再学魔术了That's not happening. 绝对不行Well, see you guys at dinner. 晚上见吧Sweetheart, don't you even want to talk about this? 亲爱的你完全不想谈谈这事儿吗What's to talk about? The kid's a natural. 有什么好谈的我儿子天生就是这块料He has everything-- 他天赋异禀the hands, the patter, the outfits. 双手灵活行话精通装备齐全Okay, let's play this out. 好吧我们设想一下Even if he is one in a million, 即使他是万里挑一的好苗子what's our best case scenario here? 最好的结果又如何He becomes, what... 他会变成什么A professional magician! 一个专业的魔术师Honey, the boy has a gift. 亲爱的这孩子就是有这天赋You wanna just throw that away? 你想白白浪费这天赋吗I don't think it's about throwing it away. 那才不是什么白白浪费I think it's about you pushing him-- 而是你逼着他Don't I get a say in any of this? 我能插两句话吗I'm sorry I don't like magic as much as you, 很遗憾我不像你那么喜欢魔术but I don't. 但我真不喜欢This isn't about magic. 这与魔术无关No, it's about my life and you controlling it. 确实而是我的人生你做主Look, you made a commitment. You will honor that commitment. 听着你许下承诺就该信守承诺Ugh! I hate it here! 我最讨厌这个Luke! 卢克All right, young ladies and gentlemen, 好了年轻的女士们先生们if I can have your attention, please. 请听我说好吗Let's settle down 大家坐坐好and let's say a temporary good-bye to your neighbor 跟邻座的同学和无趣的生活and to life as you know it, because here comes treble. 暂时告个别因为时代男高音来了That's right, my friends, we got treble, 没错下面的朋友们时代最高音Right here at Franklin middle. 就在弗兰克林中学I'm Cameron T., and that rhymes with "G," 我是卡梅隆小T 韵脚是个小GAnd that stands for "Good morning"! 意思就是"古德猫林"[早上好]Huh? Yes! Love the enthusiasm. 请说就爱有热情的Go ahead. First question. 说吧第一个问题When's Mr. Namagachi coming back? 纳玛奇老师什么时候回来Okay, Mr. Namagachi isn't coming back, 纳玛奇老师不会再回来了But there is somebody that I'd like to introduce you to. 但我想向你们介绍一个人Don't know that you proy met. 不知道你们是否正式见过面了She's a good friend of mine, 她是我的好朋友and she goes by the name of "Music." 她的名字就叫作 "音乐"And sometimes my friend music can be shy. 有时候我的朋友音乐很羞涩Sometimes she can be angry! 有时候则充满了愤怒Sometimes she can be playful. 有时候又很欢腾And sometimes she can be downright a-funky! 有时候则是非常时髦[放克乐]Train wreck. 大事不妙There's no way he ran this past Mitchell. 他肯定没跟米奇尔商量过要用这招Daddy always parks in the back of the school. 大爸通常停在学校的后门I know, sweetie, but, uh, 我知道宝贝但是those spots were all taken. 那里的停车位都被占了Because we're late? 因为我们迟到了No, we're, like, a minute late, and that's 'cause of traffic. 不是我们才晚了一分钟是因为堵车And because I tipped over. 也因为我摔倒了You didn't snap my car seat right. 你没系好我的安全座椅Okay, well, it certainly didn't hurt your memory any. 好吧那一摔倒是没把你的记忆摔坏嘛All right, here's your lunch. 给你午餐You spilled it! 你弄洒了Oh! Why is the top open? 盖子怎么开着呢Daddy always zips it for me. 大爸都会替我拉上拉链的Maybe you should zip it. 或许你该自己拉上I heard that. 我可听到你的吐槽了So with just a few more minutes left-- 既然还剩几分钟时间- Mr. Namagachi-- - used to work here, -纳玛奇老师 -以前在这里工作but he got fired, okay? 可他被开除了明白吗So now let's form an orchestra 那么现在让我们用made up of my favorite instruments-- 我最喜欢的乐器组成乐队吧your beautiful bodies. 也就是你们美丽的身体Gettin' creepy. 有点"变态"了Okay, so you guys are gonna be my, uh, table slappers. 那么你们负责拍桌子打节拍You're my bass line. 你们是我的低音部Okay, and you're gonna be mouth trumpeters in the back with the melody.而后面这些同学就用嘴模仿小号的旋律Okay, now let's bring it all together. 好的现在大家一起来One, two, three. 一二三The bass line is a little-- a little softer. 低音部声音再柔和一点Okay, louder with the mouth trumpets. 模仿小号的声音再大一些Okay. Great. Well, thank you so much. 好极了非常感谢你们And, um, I thought it was a great first day. 我觉得今天棒极了And I love the give-and-take, everyone. 各位同学我喜欢与你们互相学习And, um... 还有And, um... 呼应前面说的掌声"慢"延不息Hey, dad. How's Frisco? 老爸 "西斯科"好玩吗My meetings ended early. 我的会议早结束了I didn't even have to spend the night. 我都不用在那儿过夜And don't say "Frisco." 你也别再说"西斯科"了They hate it when you call it "Frisco." 他们不喜欢别人把那里叫做"西斯科"How do you know what they hate? 你怎么知道You've been there two times in your life. 你这辈子只去过那里两次Anyway, I haven't slept in a week. 爱咋咋地我都一星期没睡觉了Gloria's snoring like a water buffalo. 歌洛莉亚打呼噜打得跟水牛似的Aw. Well, she's pregnant. It's uncomfortable. 她在怀孕嘛肯定不舒服What, she put on 15? 20? 25? 30? 她增肥了多少 15 20 25 30磅吗We're not doing this again. How do I bring it up? 别老问这个了我要怎么跟她提这件事呢Well, for starters, you don't. 首先你不要提You suck it up. 老实忍着吧Dad, your hot wife 老爸你的辣妻who was learning to walk when you were 30 years old, 她刚学走路时你已经是而立之年了is pregnant with a baby you conceived 现在她怀了你的娃doing something most men would kill to do. 多少男人拼了命想跟她造个娃啊- I'm just so tired. - It's a small sacrifice -我就是太累了 -那点小牺牲compared to what she's going through. Poor thing, 跟她所遭受的相比不值一提小可怜what with the extra... 30? 35? 40? 45? 她增肥了多少磅 30 35 40 45We're done. 够了All right, here we go. How's this? 好的开始喽这个怎么样That's not the kind we get. 我们不买这种Okay. 好吧Hello? Hey, Cam. 喂你好小卡Just checking in on me again? 又打电话查岗吗Yeah. Just wanted to see if you got Lily. 是的就想看看你有没有接到莉莉Yeah, we're--we're just-- we're at the grocery store, 接到了我们刚到我们在杂货店having a great time. 正逛得高兴呢Oh. Yeah. Any questions about the... 是吗关于购物清单...about the grocery list? 有什么问题吗No, we're just picking up the granola. 没有我们正在买格兰诺拉燕麦片So how was it? How was the big debut? 你怎么样你的初次登场如何Was it a comfortable ride around the schoolyard 在学校里是不是和孩子们on the shoulders of the children? 相处融洽如鱼得水Well, I stood and delivered. 我反正是为人师表了一回Thank you for sarcastically asking. 谢谢你冷嘲热讽的询问Yeah. 可以Okay, did you call the electrician about the dimmer? 你有没有给电工打电话说调光器的事Yes. Yeah. 打了当然打了Yeah, I'm on the other line with him right now. 他现在正在另一条线上等待通话呢Oh, well, I should probably let you go. 好了那我大概应该撂电话了Keep your eye on Lily. She has a tendency to wander off. 看好莉莉她特爱乱跑Cam... Uh, wh-wh--I'm-- I'm totally capable of... 小卡我我当然能...- You lost her, didn't you? - No. No, no, no, no. -你把她弄丢了是不是 -没有没有No, she is right next to me. Hi, honey. 没有她就在我旁边嗨宝贝I can hear it in your voice. Look in the dairy case. 我能听出来什么情况到乳制品柜里找找Cam, do you honestly think that I would lose... 小卡你不会真以为我能弄丢...the doors don't pull. They slide. 那门拉不开是滑开的You never saw me. 就当你没见到过我Thank you very much. 非常感谢Look, um, I thought about it, 我想了想and if you really want to, you can quit magic. 要是你特别想告别魔术那就随你意You just have to do one thing first-- 只要你最后做一件事execute the Butler's escape. 表演"巴特勒逃脱术"It goes without saying that the Butler's escape 毫无疑问巴特勒逃脱术is one of the most challenging feats of escapology 是逃脱术中最具挑战性的特技an illusionist can perform. 是魔术师最高等级的表演之一It's--it's based, of course, on the well-known story 此魔术正是基于那著名的of the Earl of Flanning's manservant Percy, 弗兰宁伯爵的男仆珀西的故事who was imprisoned in the Tower of London, 珀西被囚禁在伦敦塔里and as we all know, refused to take off his uniform 众所周知在被铐上枷锁的时候when he was shackled. 他坚决不脱自己的制服Famously, as the, uh, tower guard Gert slept, 大家都知道塔上的侍卫格特睡着后Percy freed himself and leapt over the sleeping guard, 珀西挣脱了枷锁悄悄跃过睡着的侍卫giving rise to the popular expression... 那句著名的俗语就从此而来..."Percy jumped the Gert." "珀西跃过格尔特"Why are you making me do this stupid trick? 你为什么要我做这个愚蠢的把戏I think you're quitting... 我觉得你之所以不想学了because magic's getting hard, 是因为魔术难度越来越大and that's not a good reason for quitting anything. 但在任何事上都不该因惧怕困难而退缩But... 但是...if you can do this, 如果你能成功then I'll know that you genuinely don't like it, 我就知道你是真心不喜欢魔术and you'll have my blessing to pursue other interests. 就算你从事其他爱好我也祝福你No strings attached. 不带附加条件Sorry, buddy. 抱歉小老弟I'm so sorry. 真抱歉You're kidding, right? 你在开玩笑吧You cannot really be enjoying that stupid show. 你不会真的喜欢这种三俗剧吧I was changing channels. 我只不过是换台时停顿了一下God. Why are you so mean lately? 天呐你最近怎么这么刻薄呢Is something wrong with you? 你遇到什么事了吗Is it that obvious? 有这么明显吗Oh, my gosh. Come on. You can talk to me. 天呐快来跟我说说There's this girl at school, and... 我学校里有个女同学她...She got pregnant. 她怀孕了No. 不是吧I know. I've been trying to help her, 是啊我一直试着帮她But with all the pills she's taking, she kinda lashes out. 但由于药物作用她听不进劝Oh, honey, this is too much for you to take on alone. 宝贝你一人面对这样的事太不容易了- Where are the parents? - They're no help. -她的家长呢 -他们帮不上忙Dad's all consumed with his plastic surgery business, 她爸爸一心只顾着自己的整容生意and her mom's an ex-model who's trying to launch a music career. 妈妈以前是模特正努力发展音乐事业You're describing the show I was just watching, right? 这是我刚刚看的电视剧里的剧情吧I'm just saying, mix in a book every now and then. 我只是想说时不时读点书吧Mean! Mean! 刻薄刻薄鬼Try to see this from my perspective. 试着从我的角度看看I can't. 我看不了I'm not raising a quitter. 我的儿子不能半途而废Trust me. I know what's best for you. 相信我我知道什么对你有好处And watch your time. In the stage version, 注意控制时间舞台表演时the rope's on fire, and you're suspended over a bed of nails. 绳子会被点燃而你会被悬在钉板上I hate this! Why are you making me do this? 我讨厌这把戏你为什么逼我做这个Use that anger, Lukini. 化愤怒为力量卢吉尼Let it be the key that opens the vault of fear... 将它变为打开恐惧之门的钥匙that holds the chalice of hope 那里面有希望之杯that contains the elixir of success. 杯里盛着成功的灵丹妙药In a few short minutes... 短短几分钟后...Son of Alkazeel! You've done it! 我的神啊你成功了I quit. 我不干了So how was your first day? Tell me everything. 第一天怎么样快跟我说说Well, you know, it was a lovefest. 你懂的我备受喜爱And the kids-- they were, you know, and... 孩子们他们你知道吧...Is that a roast? 那是烤肉吗W--yes. Yes. But I'm surprised you could smell it over the 是的我很惊讶你居然可以闻出来no-dairy yellow pepper bisque with cheesy croutons. 毕竟有黄胡椒浓汤配油煎干酪面包块的混合Oh, wow. You had time to do a roast and soup. 哇你还能腾出时间烤肉又煲汤- Hi, daddy! - Hi, angel! -爹地好 -你好我的天使How are you? Did you miss daddy? 你好吗有没有想爸爸Wow. Bathed and braided. 哇洗了澡还梳好了辫子Yeah. Let me just put you in a more flattering light here. 是啊我来把灯光调得柔和些The dimmer. 调光器Who'd you call? 你叫谁来修的I called myself 'cause I did it. 我叫了我自己我修的Yeah, I had time after picking up Gio's present, 对买完给吉奥的礼物后我还有些时间so, uh... Go show daddy what it is. 所以就...把礼物拿来给爸爸看看- Okay. - Yeah. -好 -乖It sounds like you had a pretty successful day yourself. 听起来你这一天过得充实又高效Well, it's just a matter of being organized. 只是有条理些罢了But who am I telling, huh? 但我这是班门弄斧呀You do this sort of stuff every day. 你每天都是这么高效Oh, blow on that. 吹一下So tell me more about the kids. 再跟我说说孩子们的事吧Well, it was as I predicted, you know. 就和我想象的一样They just needed somebody to come in there 他们需要的是个and bring music back to life. 能让音乐恢复生机的老师And, you know, that person was... 而且那个人就是...that person was... 那个人就是...It's not me! 不是我What's happening? 出什么事了It was a disaster, Mitchell. 糟糕透了米奇尔They hated me! 他们讨厌我Not just the kids, the teachers. 不只是孩子们老师们也是They wouldn't sit with me at lunch. 午饭时他们都不和我一起坐I had to sit alone. 我只得自己一个人吃Oh, honey. 亲爱的不哭And my sweater--the shop teacher spilled juice on it. 还有我的运动衫手工老师把橘汁洒上面了He said it was an accident, but it wasn't an accident. 他说是不小心的但我知道他是故意的- It's okay - It's not okay! -没关系的 -怎么会没关系I failed miserably. 我全搞砸了And look at you. You did everything so perfectly. 你看你你把所有的事都做的井井有条Well, yes. 那倒是And--and--and no. 也不是Look, look, I... I gotta tell ya. 其实...实话跟你说吧Uh... I've just been watching 我一直用心观察how you've done things all these years, 多年来你做事情的方法and I just perfected it. 然后我稍加完善了一下- Oh, please, Mitchell! - Claire... -拜托米奇尔 -克莱尔...Cam, he was every bit the failure you are. 小卡他跟你一样失败得一塌糊涂He was late picking up Lily. She was in with the custodians. 他没按时接莉莉她只好被保育员看管The only thing he had less to do with than dinner 晚饭也不是他做的更离谱的是was the dimmer. 调光器他压根就没碰And her hair was in braids because there was gum in it. 莉莉漂亮的小辫是他用口香糖粘的And... why are we hugging? 另外...你们为什么抱抱Because I know if he called you for help 因为我知道如果他求你帮忙and heard as many insults as I know he had to hear, 一定忍受了许多讽刺和辱骂then he had a worse day than me. 那么他这天过得比我还糟Oh, she was horrible, Cam. 她好可怕小卡- You know what? It's gonna get better. - No, I know. -没事的一切都会好的 -不我知道We just need some time to settle into these new roles. 我们只是需要时间来适应我们的新角色You were right to lower my expectations. 你让我降低期望值真是太对了I just wish I had lowered mine. 应该降低期望值的是我This gonna work its way around to a "Thank you," Ladies? 你们不打算跟我道个谢吗女士们Hey, honey. 嘿宝贝Surprise! I'm in San Francisco! 惊喜吧我到旧金山了What? 什么I dropped Manny at a friend's and, I know it's crazy, 我把曼尼放朋友家了我知道这很疯狂but I hopped on a plane and I'm here! 但我赶上了一班飞机就飞来啦I'm driving to the hotel. 现在正往酒店去That is so great. 那太棒了The thing is, honey, I'm not here right now. 可是宝贝我现不在酒店里See, I'm, uh, I'm out at dinner. 我正在外面吃晚饭Probably won't be back for, um... 暂时赶不回来Oh, I don't know. A couple of hours. 可能得几个小时吧It's okay. I'll wait for you there. 没关系人家等着你Don't be silly. How often do you get to san francisco? 别傻了多难得来一趟旧金山啊There's so much to see there. 那里有很多地方可以参观I mean, here. 我是说"这里"Ghirardelli square? Fisherman's wharf? 吉拉德里广场渔人码头Alcatraz? Hey, take that segway tour. 恶魔岛也不错对了去报个赛格威团吧That's a great way to see the city. 可以饱览城市美景And when you get the chowder, 喝海鲜杂烩浓汤时Make sure it one of those bread bowls. 一定要用"面包碗"You can eat the bowl. 喝完汤可以把碗吃了Yeah, it's a story you'll tell for a lifetime. 对了你以后都可以拿这事儿当美谈了You know what? Later on... 话说待会儿You know what? Later on... [美国著名魔术师]Maybe we can watch some of your Lance Burton DVDs. 我们可以看一些兰斯·伯顿的光碟Thanks. I think I just wanna try this escape. 谢谢我就是想尝试一下逃脱术Would you mind tightening my arms? 能帮我把手臂这儿弄紧点吗Oh. Sure. Here. 当然来It's just hard, you know? 我心里挺不好受的It's the first time he hasn't shared one of my interests. 他这是第一次对我的爱好不感兴趣It's scary to think that this is the start of us growing apart.我们父子要是从此有隔阂了可怎么办Oh, honey, it's probably just a phase. 亲爱的没准这只是暂时的Alex is going through something right now. 倒是艾丽克斯最近有点儿不正常I wish I could figure that out. 我要是能搞明白她的问题就好了- I can't breathe. - Anxiety. -我喘不过气了 -焦虑啊No, no, I'm--I'm fighting the jacket. 不不我在努力挣脱枷锁衫The key to this escape is balance. 逃脱的关键就是要受力平衡The whole thing is based on the idea of opposing forces. 反作用力是整个逃脱术的突破点Holding each other in check. 控制两边的力量That actually makes some sense. 说得有点道理Some sense? 有"点"道理There are two things I know with dead certainty-- 世上有两件事是我百分百确定的How to shoulder roll out of a human pyramid, 一是如何挣脱开叠罗汉and the black arts of the Butler's escape. 二是破解"巴特勒逃脱术"No, honey, our house is out of balance, 不亲爱的我们家失去平衡了because Alex is missing her opposing force. 因为艾丽克斯失去"反向作用力"了Mm? Yeah. 对吧我好聪明Oh. Y-you're missing out. 你错失了大好机会Some people describe this escape as visual poetry. 有人说此魔术是场视觉盛宴Honey? 亲爱的oh, no. 完了Gloria. 歌洛莉亚You told me that you were in Frisco, 你说你在西斯科and you were here in a hotel? 但却在酒店被我抓了个正着Let me just say one thing. 我就说一点Don't say "Frisco." They hate that. 别说"西斯科" 当地人不爱听And how the hell did you find me? 你怎么找到我的The house has been a little noisy lately. 家里最近有点小噪音And the school library is a pickup scene. 学校图书馆又像个勾搭妹子的炮点So where does a kid go for some peace and quiet? 一个渴望安静祥和的孩子能去哪儿呢Tell me right now if you're having an affair, 告诉我你是不是有外遇了and we will find some time later for me to kill you. 待会儿我再找时间抽死你No. I'm just trying to have one night away from your snoring. 不是的我只是想远离你的鼾声一晚You came to a hotel to sleep? 你来酒店开房是为了睡觉I'm exhausted, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings, 我精疲力尽了我不想说出来让你难过but you're huge and you're loud. 但你身躯庞大而且又吵but you're huge and you're loud. [著名脱口秀主持人身躯肥胖臃肿]It's like sleeping with Rush Limbaugh. 我就好像和拉什·林博同床一样And I didn't want to bring it up because I figured 我不想说这事是因为我觉得you'd get mad at me the way you got mad at Manny. 你会像生曼尼的气那样生我的气I am not mad at you because you told me that I snore. 我生气不是因为你说我打鼾I am mad at you because you didn't say anything. 我生气是因为你什么也没说'cause I didn't want to get yelled at. 因为我不想被你骂Well, too bad. 太遗憾了When you're married to me, 你娶了我you're going to get yelled at many times. 就得准备好被骂个够。

Modern FamilySeason 4, Drama 6Manny: Jay, should I get rid of this?Jay:the hat, the jacket, or the cane? actually, yes. just yes.Manny: we're having a yard sale for our social studies class to raise money for UNICEF.The piont is for us to learn about global altruism.Luke: No, the point is for us to raise more money than Miss Cooper's class. so we get a pizza and a pool party.Manny: Your cynicism makes me sad for our world.Luke: Ease up, Delgado. I've seen you with a pizza.Jay: I hate garage sales. Bunch of shady characters going through my stuff. why can't I just write a check?Gloria: Relax, jay. It's just a couple of people in the driveway.Jay: Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's where it starts. Then it's, it's just a local call. “call I use your bathroom?”” my mother needs to lie down.” No, it just stinks.Manny: He did write a check..Gloria: Chi... The less he knows, the better.Luke talking to Haily by Skype on the screen: You're not even here anymore.Haily: But it's my stuff. Where's mom? Luke, take me to mom and move slow. I'm still drunk....ing my coffee. Mom!Claire: what's the problem?Haily: Tell luke not to sell my stuff?Claire: Honey, come on, Give it up. Even John Mayer doesn't have a John Mayer poster anymore.Haily: It's signed by him.Claier: It's time you knew---they come that way.Haley: but it's "To Haley"Claier: In a different color. Your dad wrote that.Haley: Ew! He wrote "my body is a wonderland"Claier: I didn't catch that till after.Alex: Mom, is it okay if Michael comes to the yard sale?Claier: Well, honey, didn't you see him last night?Alex: So? Why don't you like my boyfriend?Claier: I do like him.Claier self express:I'm just 90% sure he's 100% gay.Alex: Yes, when Michael took me to prom, I questioned his sexuality. but then... we made out...a couple times. There was even a little...under..the..shirt action.his chest is very smooth.Phil: heads up! Coming through.Claier: Wow, I am glad you're finally getting rid of that thing.Phil: What? I'm not selling this bad boy. I was gonna meet you at your dad's and get a little exercise on the way. what's… what's your beef with my streets rider?Alex: Even I think it's nerdy, and I'm fluent in elvish.Phil: It's not nerdy. Luke, back me up.Luke: I hope you mean into the garage because I have friends on this street.Claier: Honey, you finally found somehting less cool than those pants that zip off into shorts.Phil: My shants, which you have been gunning for since day one, does it matter to any of you? That this is actually an extremely efficient cardiovascular workout that could prolong my life.Claier: Mm, yeah, but what kind of life? and with whom?...Manny: Remember, everyone, this is for charity. Every dollar we earn helps a diseased child, a starving child, an abused child. Now have fun!Cam: Speaking of starving children, here's my contribution. Six pair of jeans that don't fit me anymore because I've lost 25 pounds. That's like...one, two, three children's bowling balls.Mm, brave! Very nice.Mitch: hey, cam! are...are you really getting rid of all these? I mean, they're almost new. It's...well, what if you (gain back weight again), um...Cam: what if I what, Mitchell? Put the weight back on?Mitch: No! no.no, what if you...you think of some creative art project that requires denim? you know, somehting farm or Kelly Clarkson-themed?Cam: or...I've already done so much with that motif.Mitch: yeah, yeah!Cam: No, no…you know what? No, sell'em! I wanna purge. which, for the record, is not how I lost this weight.Mitch to Claier: Oh, every time. Every time he loses weight, he gets rid of his big pants. And then when he puts the weight back on, he has to buy them all new again. It's…it's a nightmare.Jay: Just put the jeans in the car while he's in the house.Mitch: No, dad! that's incredibly dis...I'm gonna do that, yeah.Luke: Where you think you're going with those?Mitch: Oh, these aren't for sale.Luke: Hey, this is for charity. You know you're taking those jeans out of the hands of some needy, giant children.Mitch: You know they're not getting the actual jeans, right, Luke?Luke: Oh, right. well, then how about a donation?Mitch: 20 bucks?Luke: 100Mitch: 20?Luke: sure. what's it to you if some kid gets sick bathing in poo river, Africa?a people to Jay: How much for the ash tray?Jay: I don't know. What's the tag say?the people: 50cents. but there's chip in it.Jay, well, that's why it's lying on a blanket on my lawn next to some old corn cob handles.the people: I'll give you 35.Jay: you're wearing a 10'000 dolla watch. you're haggling over 15 cents?the people: You live in this place, and you can't let that 15 cents go?Jay: fine, 35.the people: can you break a 50?Jay: Get out.Gloria: manny! what is this case doing here?Manny: I found it in the attic. why? what is it?Gloria: Nothing that concerns you. it's from Colombia.Manny: But I thought you said...Gloria: You…thought…nothing!!! It's going back in the attic, and I want no more questions. Manny: why?Gloria: That's a question.Luke: That was weird. too weird.Manny: I wonder what's in there.Luke: Wake up, Delgado. locked box, from colombia." No more questions? "It's obviously a human head.Manny: Why is that always your first guess?Luke: one of these days, I'm gonna be right.Jay: no way!Phil: You're selling the Harley?Jay: I'm just trying to move it out of the way. Some asshat offered me 100 bucks for it. But with the baby coming, I guess I am gonna sell it.Phil: Oh, She's a beaut.Jay: What, you wouldn't be interested in it, would you?Phil: Why wouldn't I be?Jay: well, I just never though of you a motorcyle kinda guy.Phil: I would be if Claire would ever let me have one.Claire: You can have a motercycle if you want.Phil: ha.hahaha... Can I also have an affair with my super hot receptionist?Claier: What super hot receptionist?Phil: don't change the subject! Now, what would everybody like for lunch?Claier: you don't have to buy a motorcycle if you don't want one, but don't blame it on me. I'm fine with it.Phil: Seriously?Claier: Yeah, yeah. look, I know it's not the safest thing in the world. but it is sexy. Gloria: Yes, a lot more sexy than crazy machine you rode up on. is that somehing that your doctor make you use?Jay: Allright, I'm gonna take this around back, unless you'd like to go for a test-drive. Phil: Sure. Let's go. Not too fast, precious cargo.Jay: I'm not taking you, sweetheart.Phil: I'm driving? awesome!!!Phil self express: I'm terrified of motercycles, but somethigs you have to do things to show the world you're still a man. same reason I got that henna tattoo. japanese symbol for"courage"Cam: yeah!!Alex: oh, Micheal's here! hi, Michael!Cam: Well, well, well. what is this all about? is there a a new man in Alex's life?Claier: Well, she certainly thinks so. is there any way that boy is straight?Mitch: Ooh, what's going on? Who are we looking at?Claire: Uh, it's Alex's new "boyfriend " Michael.Mitch: What's up with the air quote?Cam: She thinks he's gay.Clairer: I think he's gay the same way I think that lamp is hideous (she refers to a lamp on Mitch's hands).Cam: Ok, rough it, made it art class.Claier: Look, I like Michael. I really do.i just...I don't her to get her heart broken when it comes to boys. Her self-esteem is low enough as it is.Cam: I don't know. Alex seems pretty darn tough.Claier: Oh, she's just sarcastic on the outside. inside, she's just a fragile little girl.Mitch: By all means, look right at me when you say that.Claire: If she want to get her heart broken by a gay guy, she can do so when she's 18 or 19 and can drink her way through it.Mitch: Aw. You're a "goodmother"Cam: I don't know, Claire, you could be wrong. Boys aren't as concerned about traditional masculinity anymore. you know, they're not butching it up. the're pushing down their feelings.Mitch: Yes, they care about their clothes.Cam: mm..hmm.Mitch: they...they...they groom.Cam: mm..hmm.Mitch: everbody's hairless. yeah, you can't tell anything anymore.Claier: really?Alex introducing Michael: Hay...Uncle Mitch, uncle Cam, this is Michael.Cam and Mitch: hi!.. hello.Alex: ok, come on.Cam: Yep, he's gay...We sand corrected.Claier: yeah!?07:37/21:38Phil riding: Okay.Jay: Now , be careful. I don't want you to crash.Phil: oh, ohJay: I don't want the bike all scratched up.Phil: ohClaire: And don't be nervous. people make mistakes when they're nervous.Phil: I'm not nervous. haha..haha..I've had bigger hogs than this between legs.Jay: He really oughta run things through his head first.Claire:Yeah.Phil self express: I know I looked super cool on the outside, but on the inside, I was terrified. And then I remembered that Fonzie once put together a whole motorcycle while blind.and I thought. That was a great show, and I got really distracted and...and I forgot I was scared. so I headed up the canyon and I left the city behind. I'd never felt so exhilarated. I don't know exactly when it happened, but somewhere on that lonely road...the bike and I became one. ohh… oh, no,no. oh, you're heavy! No!...ohh!Luke and Manny, Luke: lock the door. okay, let's do this.Manny: No matter what we find in here, I will always love my mother.Luke: Even if it's head?Manny: It's not a head.....oh, my god! It's a head!Luke: Ah! Finally!Cam: Mitchell! I was just in the car, and I found my fat pant in there. Do you know anything about that?Mitch: what? No! Did you forget to put'em out?Cam: No. Remember?! I posed, people clapped I had my moment.Mitch: I do remember that...That...oh, that was a great moment. I am so pround of you. Cam: What's going on? You're being weird.Mitch: What? First, I'm a pants thief.and...and now I can't pay you a compliment? you know who's being weird? You. Here comes Claire! Hey, girl!Claire: I don't know what that was. Okay, I just saw Alex and Michael sittin' in a tree. Don't make me spell this out for you.Mitch:Well, what can you do?Claire: I can't do anything, but you two could talk to her.Mitch: And tell her what?Claire: Michael's playing for the pink team.Cam: Okay, we got to say that. You don't really.Claire:I know, bacuse you have credibility. And I have the opposite of credibility. I have ....ha....I am a mother.Mitch: Okey, we're not doing this.Cam: no..well, now hold on, just a minute.you know, when I was...young and straight, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rock star. I'm not proud of it.Mitch: Ah, you're kinda pround of it. you work it into a lot of conversations. He brought it up yesterday.Cam: Okay, how am I supposed to walk into a dry cleaner and not mention my girlfriend Wendy Jo Martinizer?Claire: Can we get back to my problem?Mitch: You don't have a problem, okay! They're kids, they're gonna work it out.Claire: Can you talk to her?Cam: No!!! Not when she's like this....oh, you mean Alex.Cam: (Seeing Claire nods) Yeah, I'll do it.Claire: Thank you.Phil: Claire, kids, If you're seeing this, then they found my body. or I finally got a signal and I sent it to you in an e-mail. In that case, I'll just call, but...but sometimes you can actually get a pretty decent data signal and no voice. I know I'm not making any sense. I've been trapped out here now for.... 27 minutes. I'm such an idiot…Why did I bring this stupid motorcycle out here? To prove I'm a man? I am a man.Gloria: Many, what's this doing here?Luke: If you don't mind, we'll be asking the question now.Gloria: I do mind.Luke: I apologize.Manny: We couldn't help ourselves, but I've gotta know. Why were you hiding this??? Michael: Love this! sold!Many: What's the story here?Gloria:I don't want to talk about it!Cam: Aw, cute,Mitch: oh, where'd that come from?Manny: I't my mom's. She's being very cagey.Luke: We think something's stashed in the head. it's from Colombia.Manny: Mom, what's the big deal?Gloria: Okay, fine. When I was young, I was in a beauty pageant. all the other girls, for their talent, were juggling knives, as they always do. but I wanted to stand out, so I came up with...Uncle Grumpy.Cam. Okay. Never been so happy. Not leaving till I see it. Hit it, Gloria.a Passingbyer: Excuse me, how much is this vase?Claire: It's your, take it. (to Gloria)so what do you need here? A stool? Glass of water? How do we make this happen? Let's go. I need to see this.Gloria: You see noting!!! That pageant was one of the worst nights of my life, after weeks of rehearsing, I froze, and we were speechless.Cam: Aw, and you lost.Gloria: No. I won. Imagine this, when I was 18. but it was very humiliating. I don't want to do it ever again.Michael: And yet, you kept him all these years. maybe there's a part of you that wants to work through this, get some closure.Gloria: You're wrong, whoever you are.Phil: It's going on 31 minutes. I feel so along. ai...ai...ai...I gotta get my leg free....Why didn't I wear my shants!?Alex: Hey, guys, Check it out.you like my new bracelet?Cam: Ooh, cut.Alex: It's an old curtain ring Michael saw over there. he braided three leather shoelaces around it and Voila.Cam: You know, Alex, you and Michael remind me so much of me and my first girfriend Annabelle Pickett.Alex: Huh? You had a girfriend?Cam: Yeah, Cutest girl in Sunday school, too. so one year, I asked her to go the church bazaar lip sync contest with me, and we did our version of "Endless love"...which was ironic because two weeks later, I fell head over heels for a young square-jawed rodeo ticket taker named Woody Ray.Claire:oh,no.Cam: of course, she was devastated, just destroyed her. and then she spray-painted something unrepeatable on my daddy's barn and never spoke to me again.Claire: Wow, and all because she wanted you to be something…you just weren't... Cam: Mm hmm.Claire: Yeah.Alex: Ugh. Stop. I get it. Iknow what you think about Michael, mom. You didn't have to bring in your big gay guns to back you up.No offense (Turning back to cam).Mitch: None taken.Cam. I kinda like it.Claire: Okay. Honey, I am worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt.Mitch: I told them that this was a bad idea, allright? you know, maybe Michael's gay. Maybe he's not. He is. Your mother just wants you to have all the information so that... that you can go slow.Alex: Uncle Mitchell, he's straight. we kissed.Mitch: Oh, honey, i...I kissed a lot of girs when I wanted to be straight. and your uncle cam kissed some, too, he says. but that's neither here nor there. what's important is that you make your own....where... wait, where are you going?Alex: It's not the olden days anymore, you guys.I can just ask him.Mitch: Hope you're happy...Cam: I'm not...that "olden days" comment was like a punch to the gut. she may as well have spary-painted it on my daddy's barn.Mitch: Yeah, I'm done with this.Cam: Where's he going?A man holding bread baker: Hey, you got any bread? I wanna make sure this thing till works.Jay: Yeah, that's not gonna happen.The man: oh, it doens't have to be bread. I mean, I can get the information I need from, like, a bagel or a frozen waffle.Gay: look, kid, you're just gonna have to roll the dice on this one.The man: I don't know. what's your return policy?Jay: you return, I call the police. where'd you get that?the man: From the kitchen.Gay: Give me that!The man: You selling the pot-bellied pig?Gay: Get out of my driveway.Jay to dog: you're not a pig. you're daddy's little gir.Alex entering the Kitch see Michael: There you are.Michael: Hey. sorry. I got lost in this "Elle decor" Justin Timberlake is designing his own home line, and I'm trying to reserve judgment.Alex: Michael I have to ask you something. I want you to know it's okay either way. but... are you gay?Micheal: What? No! I'm not! I...I took you to prom. I kissed you unless you're boy, I'm pretty sure I'm straight. Are...are you a boy?Alex: No.Micheal: Right, so I am straight!Alex: I didn't mean to make you mad.Micheal: I'm not mad. I'm just... angry.Alex: I'm sorry.and those are synonyms.Micheal: You just know everyting today. can you just give me a minute?Jay came in the Kitch.. to Micheal: Hey, Can I help you?Micheal: Yeah, Why does everybody think I'm gay?Jay: God, I hate yard sales.Gloria to a buyer: Thank you.Luke came to her: Sorry for snooping around and finding your old man doll.Gloria: In Colombia, if you snoop around the wrong box, you might end up inside that box. Luke: I shouldn't have done it. Now I feel bad for Manny.Gloria: What do you mean?Luke: well, I don't know. he's always talking about how brave you are, how you're afraid of anything, now... he just seems a little sad.Gloria: How sad?Luke: Don't worry. it's a good thing. he needs little dose of reality. you walk around school, telling everyone how great your mommy is all the time, you find yourself on the business end of wedgie.Luke self express: I know how to push buttons to get what I want. and what I want is to see a puppet show.Cam to Mitch: J'accuse!Mitch: I'm sorry. one more time?Cam: It's just a dramatic way of accusing you...of stashing my fat pants in a bush! Saboteur!Mitch: that's a second way.Cam: How...could.. you?Mitch: And a third.Cam. Why, Mitchell? why?Mitch: Cam...oh, come on. all right, the....this is a little hard to say, but…every time you get rid of these pants, you have to buy them all over agian, and you get depressed, all right? this is just a way to have a safety net.Cam: I can't have a safety net, Mitchell. otherwise, I won't be sucessful and keep the weight off. have you ever thought of that?Mitch: No, no, I didn'tCam: You know, you're not the only one who remembers all the times I failed.Mitch: You are right. I...I should support you more. I'm...I'm sorry.Cam: I'm happy to hear you say that.Mitch: Well, I'm happy you're happy.Alex: Well, I hope you both are happy. Michael's not gay. Now he hates me. Thanks a lot. Mitch to Cam: You see? Thsi is exactly why i didn't want to get involved.Cam: Now I feel terrible. these feelings would go good with pie.Claire seey Phil back: There he is! sweetheart, do you love it?Phil: No, Claire, I do not love it.Claire: Oh, that's too bad' cause you look so cool on that.Phil: Do I, Claire? Do i really?Claire saw phil's pant cut off: What happend?Phil: it's a long story. check your in-box. but suffice it to say, I'm not buying that motorcycle. Claire: Uh..huh..Phil: I know what i am, claire. I'm not a rider, I'm a strider. I hope that's sexy enough for you. Claire: Well, I can see stuff.Phil: Yeah, I know. I can feel air on it. It's not like I have another pair of pants.Mitch: Oh, uh, today is your lucky day. it's for a good cause.Cam: You might need a belt.Phil: oh, I doubt it. I bet we wear the same size.Cam: Don't do that.Phil: Copy.Mitch: Well, we ruined Alex's life, by the way.Claire: I don't know. She look okay.Cam: en..looks like they made up.Claire: If she would just listen to me, I could hep her avoid so much pain.Mitch: Give it a rest. She's 14, all right? No matter who that boy is, he's not gonna last. Claire: Mm, you are right.Cam: Well, at least with a gay kid, you know she's gonna get a great flower arrangment. should've seen the one I made Annabelle. arranged it myself. it was gorgeous...till she pulled it apart and spelled "Homo" on my porch.Claire: This doens't make me feel any better.Gloria: Gather around everbody. I want you to meet somebody.Claire: Oh, but that might(seeing Gloria's puppet).Cam: Uncle Grumpy.Gloria's self express: Luke's wise words got to me. I needed my son to respect me agian. more than that, I needed to respect myself.Grumpy: Holy maracas! I think I sat on the right lap!Gloria: Uncle Grumpy, we're in public.Grumpy: Ay, look at all those white faces! I see we made it over the wall.Gloria: Uncle Grumpy, are you in a bad mood?Grumpy: Damn righ I am! I just came from the movies. A whole day's pay to see "Basicinstinct".Gloria: oh. And what did you think?Grumpy: Basically, it stinked.Gloria: You're so grumpy.Grumpy: Damn righ I am!I just met the girl of my dreams.Gloria: Ay, that's such great news.Grumpy: No. She gave me the termites.Jay: Gloria, I'm just gonna...oh, jeez. I don't even wanna know what this is. I'm out of here. Gloria: You're leaving?Jay: Damn righ. the only difference between this and a home invasion is I get to shoot people at a home invasion.Claire: oh, my god. She married her puppet.Cam: Uncle Grumpy!Phil’s self express: can anyone hear me? please help me! I don't wanna die! If I had to make a playlist for being trapped under a motorcycle, it'd be, um..."stuck in the middle","hit the road jack",um, anything by heavy D. Ooh, pointer sister. "Neutron dance". Turns out “today wasn't the first day of the rest of my life”. oh, my goodness. there's some DVDs in a shoe box in, uh, my closet that I was holding for...a buddy.um, you can go ahead and just throw the whole box away.....I'm so hungry. I don't know how long I'm gonna be out here.I gotta ration my food....I said no tomatoes (angry and throwing away food, sandwich)!。

摩登家庭-第2季第1集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语Honey, do you need me to move the car? 亲爱的要我把车开出去吗No, it's nothing. I'm alright 不不用我能行Oh no! Iron cross, she's going down 不铁十字给我力量它要栽了Oh no! Iron cross, she's going down [铁十字纳粹德军勋章]Oh god! Phil... 当心菲尔- You okay? - Yes. I am. -你没事吧 -没事I am okay. 我没事Honey, why do we keep this car? 亲爱的我们为什么要留着这辆车It's a classic! 这车老经典了No, it just sits here. 不它只是空占地方And the seatbelts don't work. 安全带也坏了The doors stick. It leaks fluids. 门也卡还漏油We haven't put fluids in it in 10 years. 我们也十年没给它加过油了Well, I'm gonna fix all that anyway. 我会把这些毛病都修好And then, uh, it's gonna be Haley's car. 然后送给海莉Oh, we're not giving this car to Haley. 我才不要给海莉It's way too easy to fit a mattress in the back. 车后座都宽得可以放床垫了Remember? 当年这车可是我们的洞房啊Oh, no. We're selling it. 要命了这车必须卖What?! 什么Unless you don't think you can. 除非你觉得你卖不出- Really? - Yeah. -此话当真 -是的- Seriously? - You can't. -确定当真 -绝对当真You honestly think that's gonna work? 你确定我卖不掉You can't sell it. 就是卖不掉You know what? 话说You can insult a lot of things about me... 你怎么羞辱我都可以My hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises... 发型啊声音啊平衡板游戏啥的But don't insult my selling. 就是不要羞辱我强大的销售能力That crosses a line. 过分了哈What line? Oh, you don't see it? 过在哪里你瞧不见?That's 'cause I just sold it. 因为我以光速给它卖了That's 'cause I just sold it. 《摩登家庭》第二季第一集While the spray-tanned starlet claims 当这个美黑小星星声称to be six weeks sober, sources down under say: 自己有六个星期没嗑药时知情者爆料道She has been bar-hopping 她就像一个嗑药过量的袋鼠一样like a coked-up kangaroo." 蹦啊跳啊混迹于酒吧Ah, what's daddy reading to you? 爹地给你读什么呢If I have to read "the very hungry caterpillar" 如果还要我再读一次One more time, I will snap. 《饥肠辘辘的毛毛虫》我会抓狂的- oh, it's not that bad. - I will snap! -哪有那么差劲啊 -别逼人家So, um, I laid the toolbox outside, 那啥我把工具箱拿到外面了And all the supplies are ready, 所有的材料也都准备好了And I think we are good to go! 可以开工了Terrific. 好极了Aren't you gonna change into a working man's outfit? 你不打算换身工人套装吗No, I'm good, 不用了And I don't think workmen really call them "outfits." 况且我不觉得工人管它叫"套装" We are building a princess castle for Lily. 我们要给莉莉建一座公主城堡Uh, it's something every father wants to be able to do for his daughter.这是每个父亲都想给他女儿建的You know, and I fancy myself 并且我把自己幻想成as a bit of a castle designer. 这个城堡的设计师I have done a few sketches. 我画了一些草图Which we have archived so we can use the kit. 那些以备后用这样我们就能用组装套件- Mm, yeah. - The kit. -对 -套件Uh, the kit. Which, uh, we're gonna do together. 套件我们夫妇一条心一起做I am petrified to do this with Mitchell. 要跟米奇尔一起做这个还不如杀了我He built a couple of theater sets in college or something,他大学的时候做过几个戏剧的布景什么的And now he thinks he knows everything about building. 就以为自己是建筑帝了Well, he doesn't. 但他根本不搭边Every home-improvement project that we've undertaken. 每次我们家要做改造Has been a near-death experience. 都让人好想死好想死Make the appetizers. And then we'll be... 做开胃菜然后...If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me... 如果真出了啥意外我希望他一下解决了我Because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.因为我觉得我不会是个乐观向上的残障人士Honey, relax. 亲爱滴放亲松She's not here yet. 她还没来You might want to play it a little cooler. 你最好蛋定一下别猴急猴急的You don't want to scare off your girlfriend. 要不会把你女朋友吓跑的She's not my girlfriend! 她才不是我女朋友She's just coming over to study the life cycle of silkworms.她只是过来跟我一起研究蚕的生命周期Oh. She's here. 嗷她到了She's here! okay, how's my hair? 她到了那啥我头发不乱吧I thought it was just a friend. 是谁说只是朋友来着I heard that. 我可听到了I wasn't whispering. 我故意的Manny, open the door. Make her feel welcome. 曼尼去开门让她感受什么叫宾至如归Kelly! Good morning. 凯莉早上好Uh, I'm glad you're here. 欢迎你来我家Um, this is my Mom. 这是我妈Nice to meet you! 很高兴认识你哦In my culture, 在我们的文化里mothers are very clingy to their sons. 母亲都灰常粘儿子In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women 其实呢哥伦比亚妇女死亡的首要原因is when their sons get married. 就是她们的儿子要结婚But I'm not like that. 但是我不会这样I just want my Manny to be happy. 我只要曼尼高兴就好哩Manny, why don't you give your friend Kelly an empanada? 曼尼叫你的朋友凯莉吃肉卷馅饼Oh, no, thank you. 不了谢谢I try to stay away from trans fats. 我尽量避免摄入反式脂肪Oh, I'm sure one won't make a difference. 哎呀呀就吃一个没啥滴啦They're Manny's favorite! 这是曼尼的最爱哟I... think I'm going to stop eating trans fats, too. 我我也不要吃反式脂肪了Mom? When was this from? 妈这是在哪拍的Oh... That's the year your dad and I went to the rose bowl.这是我跟你爸去看玫瑰杯的时候拍的Oh... That's the year your dad and I went to the rose bowl. [玫瑰杯于加州举行的美式足球赛] - Incredible game. - Yeah. -那场老精彩了 -是啊Mom, you look really pretty. 妈你看起来真美Thank you, sweetheart. 谢谢你宝贝儿So, what happened? 那后来怎么回事Well, Lukey, everyone gets older. 小卢克人人都会变老嘛Just 'cause parts of your mom aren't what they used to be, 即便你妈的风采不再it doesn't meam... 也不代表...I mean, what happened in the game? 我是想问比赛后来怎么样了We got our butts kicked by Penn state. 我们输给了宾州队The parade was awesome, though. 但是游行非常棒Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. 是安吉拉·兰斯伯里担任司仪Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. [著名女演员] "Good time," she wrote. "美好的记忆" 她写道Okay, come on, guys. Let's get back to it. 行了继续收拾No one's gonna buy this heap looking this way. 堆着这么多东西没人会买的Hey, mom, which one is the garbage can? 恶妈妈垃圾丢哪边Um, it... 丢...Honey, you can't throw that away. 乖乖这个不能丢It's blankety. 这是小毯毯It's disgusting. 可它有够恶心No, sweetie, you loved blankety. 怎么会亲爱的你以前可喜欢它了You wouldn't go anywhere without him. 你上哪儿都要带着它Yeah, until Luke threw up on it. 哈直到卢克吐在上面Yeah. 哈哈I used to throw up all the time. 我年轻的时候老吐Remember buckety? 还记得呕吐桶桶吗Oh, look at this. 看这个What is that? 这是什么We went to the beach one day, 那天咱们去海边and Luke had such a good time. 卢克玩得很开心That he wanted to being home a jar of sunshine. 所以他要带一罐阳光回家So he could always remember it. 这样他就能永远记着了Do you remember, honey? 还记得吗亲爱的Oh, no... no, no, don't... don't open it. 不不不别别打开You really think you trapped sunshine in there? 你真以为你把阳光收进罐子里了I'm just letting you know now, 我现在通知你们I'm not taking care of him when you guys die. 你们死了之后我绝对不会管他的Stop. It's sweet. 别说了这样做很可爱的Still feels hot. 还热热的好吧Hey! It's that guy who came by earlier. 刚看车那家伙来电话了He was really interested. 貌似很想买What was his name? Shoot! 他叫啥来着快告诉我Well, you can't be in sales and not remember people's names. 做销售千万不能忘记客户姓名That's why I like to use what they call "minimonic" devices. 所以我用"迷你联想"来帮助记忆They're little tricks to help you remember. 这是帮助记忆的小诀窍Um, like the other day, I met this guy named Carl. 就像那天我认识了个家伙叫卡尔Now, I might forget that name, 现在我或许忘了他的名字But he was wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt. 但我记得她穿着一件Grateful Dead的汗衫But he was wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt. [Grateful Dead 美国摇滚乐队]What's a band like the Grateful Dead? 有什么乐队像Grateful DeadPhish. Where do fish live? Phish 鱼生活在哪里[跟"鱼"读音相近] Phish[同为美国摇滚乐队]The ocean. 海洋What else lives in the ocean? 什么东西生长在海洋Coral. 珊瑚Hello, "Coral". 你好卡罗[他本想卖弄却记错了] [Coral 意译珊瑚音译卡罗与卡尔音似]I think it's "mnemonic". 我记得这是"助记口诀"I... I think I'd remember. 啊… 我觉得我没记错Okay. 行吧You can do it, dad. 老爸你一定行的Okay. 好吧He looked like the drummer from foreigner. 他看起来像是个外国鼓手Now, foreigner's from France. 这个外国人来自法国France rhymes with "ants." 法国和蚂蚁押韵[英文单词读音]Ants ruin a picnic. 蚂蚁破坏了野餐What's up, Nick? 哈啰 Nick[和野餐后缀音同]Really? 是吗Really? 真的吗Well, that's great. 那太好了Yeah, no, swing by anytime. We're here all day. 随时欢迎我们一整天都在Thanks. 谢谢Guess what? 你猜怎么着You said I couldn't sell this? 谁说哥卖不出去Well, you're gonna be eating a humble pie. 你自打嘴巴了吧Stuffed with crow and a big side of sorry, 高兴不起来了吧真对不住了嘿'cause I just did. 我给它卖了In your face, girl with the negative tattoo! 当你的面卖出去了叫你老否定咱爷们Honey... 亲爱的Wait. 等等No! 不Whoa. Someone doesn't like to lose. 有人输不起了Honey. 宝贝Honey! 宝贝儿I'm sorry. 对不起I'm sorry. 对不起When I woke up this morning, I hated that car, 今早一睁眼我还很烦那辆车and even thinking about it made me mad. 就连想起它都让我抓狂But then when we were going through it, 但是我们一起经历了这么多and blankety... 还有那个可爱的小毯毯…all that stuff... I just... 所有这一切我只是The thought of that whole part of our life driving away...一想到那些美丽的日子就这样随车而逝了We can keep blankety. 我们可以留着小毯毯嘛I don't want... 但我不想...Look at them. 看看他们Come on. A minute ago, they were babies. 好像昨天他们还都只是小宝宝And now they're driving. 今天呢连车都会开了And soon we'll all be dead. 然后我们也不久于人世了Whoa! You're leaving out a few great minutes there. 打住你咋能忽略掉死前的美好时光呢Retirement, old age... 退休啊颐养天年啊Cool chair that goes up the stairs. 超级酷的爬楼梯自动椅子啊Yeah. I'm sorry. 是啊对不起I'm... being ridiculous. 我不该胡思乱想Don't apologize. I love you when you're human. 不用道歉我就喜欢你充满着人情味Listen. 听着Hey! listen! 听我说We don't have to sell the car. 车不卖了Oh, sweetie, of course we do. 亲爱的当然要卖It doesn't make any sense to keep it. 没理由要留着它Well, what can I do to make you feel better? 那我该怎么做才能让你感觉好点Nothing. 什么也不用做Unless you can build me a time machine. 除非你给我造一台时光机Honey... 亲爱的Until someone can figure out how to keep a wormhole 除非有人能想办法Until someone can figure out how to keep a wormhole [虫洞宇宙时间和空间壁上的洞] from collapsing in on itself. 阻止虫洞的倒塌That's just a pipe dream. 否则就是痴人说梦Sure. 是啊Phil! come on back, phil. 菲尔想都别想菲尔Well, I found the... 我找到了...I found the nail gun. 我找到了射钉枪Oh. Yay. 噢太好了The weirdest thing... it was wrapped in an old towel 奇怪的是它给裹在一条旧毛巾里stuffed in a box on the top shelf of the closet. 塞在盒子里在壁橱最顶上Well, just set it down on the counter. 赶紧把它放在柜台上Heads up! 小心Oh, dad, what are you doing here? 老爸你来这干嘛I'm, uh, just, uh, returning that crockpot that Gloria borrowed. 我只是来还歌洛莉亚借的电锅Oh, yeah, I forgot you had that crockpot, Jay. 我都忘了这码事了杰Well, we're just getting ready to build Lily a princess castle我们正准备给莉莉建造一座公主城堡if you... 如果你...- Want to help? - Yeah, sure. -想帮忙 -当然没问题Oh. Well, if it's okay with you, Mitchell. 只要你不介意的话米奇尔Oh, yeah! oh, no, dad. 好啊我没问题老爸Oh, remember how much fun we had 还记得当初我们一起做书架的时候吗when we built that bookshelf together? 多美好的回忆呀That was my vietnam. 那简直就像打了场越战And I was in vietnam. 我确实参加过越战Oh! Look at us! 看看我们哦Three construction dudes! 我们就是工匠三兄弟Dad, I'm gonna get you some workman gloves. 老爸我去给你拿几副专用手套I have a blue and camel. 我有蓝色的和驼色的What's your preference? 你喜欢哪个颜色的Surprise me. 你懂的Wouldn't it be easier 如果我们把东西都整理到同一个笔记本上if we had all our stuff in the same notebook? 那不就轻松多了You think? 你这么觉得I mean, we're always going back and forth. 这样我们就省的总是来回翻了I'll just put my things in your notebook. 我把我的笔记夹到你的本子上okay. 好的Who wants chocolate milk? 谁想喝巧克力奶呀Sure, mom. 我要妈妈- So how is it going? - Great! -进度如何呀 -好极了Kelly's moving her stuff 凯莉在把她的笔记into my notebook. 都搬到我的本子上This is sudden. 速度还真快啊It just felt right. 应该的Oh, you know what you should do? 你应该这样Put a pinch of salt in the chocolate milk. 在巧克力奶里放一撮盐It really brings out the flavor. 提味得多Salt is for the popcorn. 吃爆米花才用盐呢That sounds good. 听起来对味You wouldn't like it. 你不会喜欢的Maybe we should let Manny decide. 也许我们该让曼尼自己决定Okay. 好滴Here's the salt. 给你盐We'll see what he likes. 我们看他选哪个Wow! 天啊That's really good! 好喝翻了Try it, mom! 妈妈你试试I don't care for it. 老娘对这无爱It was delicious. 其实很好喝I finally got Lily down for a nap. 终于把莉莉哄睡了Where is Mitchell? 米奇尔在哪里He's not supposed to be unsupervised! 怎么能没人看着他呢Don't worry. 没事I got him in the garage putting flags on the spires. 我让他去车库给塔顶插旗子Okay, perfect. 哦那就好It's better that way. Nobody gets hurt. 这样最好省的有人受伤了We don't have to put flags on the spires. 插旗子这事儿也省了Yeah. 是啊All right, let's get this roof on. 好了我们来盖上屋顶It's supposed to snap right into place. 应该咔嚓就扣上了Hey! 嘿Whatcha got going on over there, Jigsaw? 你干的怎么样了电锯哥[电锯惊魂里的杀人狂] Well, I thought that I would get started 我觉得我得从吊桥开工on the, uh, drawbridge while you guys worked on the roof, so... 屋顶就归你们了所以... You all done with the flags?! 你的旗子都插好了吗Yeah! 当然Yeah, it took me like 15 minutes. 十五分钟就搞定了It was a lot easier than you made it out to be. 哪里像你说的那么麻烦Do something, Jay. 杰怎么办Uh, Mitch?! 米奇Yeah. 干嘛How about you make us some sandwiches? 你去弄点三明治吧No. No, we're in the middle of this. 不成不成我们还没完工呢No, I think what Jay's saying is, 不是杰的意思是说why don't you go sort some bolts? 你为什么不挑点螺栓来No, I sorted the bolts. 不用我已经挑好了- All of 'em? - There were six. -全部吗 -一共就六个W... what's going on with you two? 你们俩不对劲啊Are you... are you trying to get rid of me? 难道是想把我甩开不成Uh..., Mitch. 呃米奇Oh, my god. You are. 天你们真是闲我碍事You're... you're, like, in cahoots. 你们居然狼狈为奸Mitchell, I get scared, when you're around tools, 米奇尔你一碰工具我就害怕Honey, it's dangerous... 亲爱的这太危险了For me, for you, 对你对我for... our roses. 对我们的花花都是威胁Works better this way, kid. 孩子他说得对I mean, castle goes right up, 我是指顺利建好城堡Nobody gets sliced in half. 没人给一切两半Do you know how insulting this is? I was... 你们也太小看人了吧我可是…I was an intern at the songbird summer playhouse. 我可是在歌鸟夏季剧院实习过的Do you think that the town of Brigadoon 你们以为南海仙境那出戏just magically appeared? 就嗖一下变出来了吗Well, in the play, it did, but...the set... 当然戏里看着是这么回事但是那个布景the set was built with these two hands! 那个布景是我用这双手搭的Mitchell. Mitchell... 米奇尔米奇尔The Von Trapp mansion, Evita's balcony... 还有范特普庄园艾维塔的阳台Okay. Okay. 算了算了Oh, where are you going? 你这是要去哪I'm going on a walk, 我要暴走了and, oh, yeah, I can still do that by myself. 哈没错我还能自己走Watch. Oh, I hope I don't get hurt. 看着嘿哦好害怕会摔倒哦Oh, god, who put that doorjamb there? 哦妈呀谁这么缺德放个门柱在这儿I didn't see it. 害我没看见I ran right into it. 直接撞上去了Oh, no, I tripped! Walking is so hard! 哎呀糟糕绊着了走路好难的说That one didn't look like it was on purpose. 刚才那下可不像是故意的It was! 就是故意的Just a few more steps. 还有几步路Oh, sorry! 对不起!Step! Step! Sorry! 有台阶有台阶对不起- Phil?! - Sorry, sorry. -菲尔 -对不起对不起It's gonna be worth it. 这一跤绝对值No, it's not. 绝对不值Don't listen to her. 别听她瞎说And... 开...- Ow. Ow. Ow! - Sorry. Don't struggle. -嗷嗷嗷 -对不起不要乱动Stop struggling. 不要乱动Great. It's our car. 好惊喜啊我们的车Not a car. Kids? 不只是车哦孩子们"ti... " what? "时" 什么Tonight, Claire Dunphy, we are turning back the clock 今天晚上克莱尔·邓菲我们把时钟拨回to a simpler time... 那纯真年代...when families piled into their station wagons, 当年那个咱一家挤在旅行车里picked up some burgers, 捎上一些汉堡and went on a picnic up to granger point. 去郊外野餐的日子Honey, we don't have to do this. 亲爱的没必要吧Listen to her. 她说得对No, it's gonna be great. I talked to... 不啊会很好玩的我跟那个France, ants, picnic... 法国蚂蚁野餐%￥%@&*...Nick, and he's not picking up the car till tomorrow. 尼克说了他明天才来取车We have one more night of family fun! 我们还能来一次家庭大聚会What's gonna be fun about it? 能有啥意思Listen to him 谁说不是- Only everything. - Only nothing. -啥都有意思 -啥也没意思Okay, kids, you know what? 好了小朋友们Your father is trying to do something nice, 你们老爹要做好人好事so I would appreciate it if you would stop your whining 你们少抱怨点儿多好and just get in the car. 赶紧上车Still does it! 屡试不爽Oh, my! 啊哈Come on, get in, get in! 快点快点进去I'm just saying, the kid's gotta learn to let things go. 我不得不说他得学会释怀Well, this is a touchy subject for Mitchell. 这对米奇尔是个敏感话题He wants to feel like a regular joe, like you and I. 他就想体现男子汉的一面就像咱俩Oh, pardonnez-moi. 哦不好意思I prefer the champagne Dijon to the standard yellow. 比起普通香槟我更倾向于第戎香槟You know, there are a few areas that define us as men, 要证明自己是纯爷们方法很多你懂的like sports and construction. 比如运动健身还有木工啥的Mitchell just wants to feel like he's... 米奇尔只是想证明自个是part of the man club. 爷们俱乐部中的一员Isn't that where you guys met? 你俩不就那地儿认识的I know you're making a joke because you're uncomfortable,我知道你这开玩笑是因为基佬氛围让你不适so I'll let it slide. 我当没听见and we met at an orgy. 我们在性派对上认识的Come on. 淡定I just think it's crazy, that's all. 我就觉得那啥太疯狂了仅此而已So what if he can't swing a hammer? 他拿不稳锤子又怎么着Look at all he has done. 要看他好的一面啊Law school, great career, providing for his family. 法律学校出身事业蒸蒸日上还能养家糊口That's manly, too, isn't it? 未必还不够爷们I mean, the classical sense. 传统意义上很不错了Well, yes, I mean, I think it also takes a big man 对是同样我觉得to quit his career as a music teacher 辞去音乐老师的工作回家养孩子and raise a child. 也是爷们所为You're a man, too, Cam. 你也很爷们小卡Thank you, Jay. 谢谢杰Wait. Garnish. We're men... 等等忘了装饰再爷们not cavemen. 也要讲究啦My great-great-grandfather 我爷爷的爷爷的爷爷helped build the Brooklyn bridge. 参与过建造布鲁克林大桥And I heard that, until the day he died, 我听说在他有生之年里every time he passed it, he was filled with such pride. 每每经过大桥一股自豪感便油然而生He'd say, "there's a little bit of me in that bridge." 他会说这桥有我一份功劳I know that I'm not the handiest guy, 我知道自己不手巧but I'm still a man, 但我是男人嘛and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say... 我只希望能望向自家后院深情道出…"there's a little bit of me in that princess castle." 这公主城堡有我一份功劳Oh, no. No. No, no, no. No. 哦不不要啊No. Oh, no. 不要啊Hey, mom. 嘿妈妈Kelly's parents are on their way. 凯莉的父母马上就要来了She invited me to go out to dinner and a movie with them. 她邀请我和他们一起吃饭看电影Is that okay? 你批准吗Oh, but... 哦可是...I thought that you and I were going to the movies tonight. 不是说好咱俩去看电影吗You know, to see that one with Shia Labeouf. 就是希亚·拉博夫演的那个呀You know, to see that one with Shia Labeouf. [《变形金刚》男主角]Well, maybe we can go to the movie another night. 我们可以改天晚上去看呀W... what's wrong? 怎么了Oh, nothing. 没事啦Just my heart. 小心脏好难受Okay, sue me. 好呀告我去呀I am a Colombian mother. 我就是一个哥伦比亚妈妈I'm not gonna let him make a mistake 我才不会让他犯错误that is gonna affect him for the rest of my life! 影响我滴一生His life! 他滴一生Manny, 曼尼I think we should talk about this Kelly girl. 我觉得是时候谈谈凯莉的问题了Isn't she great? 她是不是巨好I think she really likes me. 我觉得她对我有意思Why wouldn't she like you, baby? Of course. 她怎么可能会对你没意思呢当然啦Go. Have fun. 去吧玩开心呀I'm gonna wear my burgundy dinner jacket. 我决定穿那件酒红色西装Of course you are. 穿去吧I say we apologize 我觉得应该先道歉and just finish the castle together like he wanted. 然后按照他的意思一起把城堡修好- Did you hide the nail gun? - Absolutely. -你有把射钉枪藏好吧 -必须的'cause, I mean, you said that before. 问题是上回你也这么说来着No, I... 不是我...Oh, my gosh. It's finished. 哦天啊已经盖好了What the hell? Mitchell did that? 什么情况米奇尔干的吗Yes. Yes, Mitchell did it. 对啊对啊就是米奇尔干的Who's the bitch now, bitches? 傻眼了吧贱人们Honey, it looks beautiful! 亲爱的真漂亮Well, yeah, because when you two were inside 当然啦你们两个在里面enjoying your little tea party, I was out here... 搞家家酒的时候我一人在这里out here getting stuff done. 辛苦干活I'm sorry. 我错了We shouldn't have underestimated you. 我们不该小看你You know he's stuck in there, right? 看出来他被困在里面了吧Oh, yeah. 太明显了Uh, hey, kid, Cam and I are gonna go crack a couple cold ones. 嘿儿子我和小卡要去喝点冰啤酒You want to join us? 你要不要一起啊No, no, you know what? 不用了I'm just gonna stay here and get some stuff done, 我就留下把剩下的活做完but you... you two ladies enjoy your light beers. 你们两位小姐进去喝点淡啤吧How do you know we're having light beers? 你怎么知道我们要喝淡啤We only have light beers. 家里只有淡啤So, well, listen. 听着- Here is a hammer. - I don't need it. I don't need it, though. -锤子在这里 -放这儿干嘛我又不用- And this is a screwdriver. - But I'm not gonna use it. -这个是螺丝刀 -我又用不着And you just come on in whenever you want to. 你想喝酒就进来I'll be in at... yeah. 马上就… 来You sure we shouldn't get him out of there? 你确定不用把他弄出来No. He would never forgive us. 不用否则他永远不会原谅我们的He's a very proud man, your son. 你儿子自尊心强着呢Bird! Bird! 鸟鸟Bird! ah, oh, my god! oh, my god! 有鸟天啊啊啊Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself right now. 我现在可自豪的很啊Ohh! oh, my god! 我的妈呀Calm down. 淡定Luke, honey, slow down. 卢克宝贝慢点吃No one's gonna take your food away. 没人跟你抢Wow, this place has really changed. 这地方变化可真大啊Time marches on, huh? 光阴荏苒啊See that Starbucks down there? 看到下面那家星巴克了吗You know what that used to be? 你们知道那儿原来是什么吗An orange grove? 橘子园吗No, a Burger King. 不对是汉堡王You can still see some of the architecture. 还能看到当时的建筑风格Thank you... for this. 谢谢你做这些I really do feel better already. 我真的感觉好多了You can go home again, Claire. 克莱尔美丽的日子一直都在Oh, sweetie. 亲爱的My stomach hurts. 我胃疼Luke, honey, I told you not to eat so fast. 卢克宝贝叫你别吃那么快Just sit back, relax. You're gonna be fine. 坐回去休息一下就没事的- Ew! Spider! - Haley! -有蜘蛛 -海莉-Haley! - Haley, honey, -海莉 -海莉宝贝you're standing on the back of daddy's seatbelt! 你踩住你爸的安全带了Oh, soft cheeses, I can breathe again. 偶滴神啊又能呼吸了Wait. Where'd the spider go? 等等蜘蛛到哪儿去了I really need some air. 我得透透气Okay, Alex, lower your window. 好吧艾丽克斯把车窗摇下来I can't. It's stuck. 我摇不动它卡住了I forgot about that. 我把这事给忘了Don't you throw up on me. 不准吐我身上Ohh. Don't point him at me! 别把他推给我Here, I'll turn on the... Haley!! 在这儿我把这个打开… 海莉Oh! Oh, honey, I think that's the heat. 亲爱的我想这应该是暖气。

摩登家庭英文讲解摩登家庭（Modern Family）是一部美国情景喜剧剧集，于2009年首播。

该剧以家庭为背景，通过幽默的方式描绘了现代家庭中的各种问题和挑战。

以下是对该剧的英文讲解。

"Modern Family" is an American sitcom that premiered in 2009. The show revolves around the lives of three diverse families and the challenges they face in today's modern society. The series is known for its humorous and heartwarming depiction of familial relationships.The first family is the Pritchett-Dunphy clan, which consists of Jay Pritchett, his second wife Gloria, and her son Manny. Jay is an older man who remarried a much younger Colombian woman, Gloria, after his first wife passed away. Their contrasting personalities and cultural differences often lead to comedic situations.Next, we have the Dunphys, a typical suburban family. The parents, Phil and Claire, struggle to balance their careers with raising their three children. Phil is often portrayed as an immature and clueless dad, while Claire is portrayed as a perfectionist and overprotective mother. Their interactions with their kids provide many comedic moments.The third family is composed of Mitchell, a gay lawyer, and his partner Cameron, a flamboyant stay-at-home dad. Together, they adopt a Vietnamese baby named Lily. Mitchell and Cameron navigate the challenges of parenthood while also dealing withsocietal prejudices and stereotypes."Modern Family" combines elements of mockumentary-style filming with traditional sitcom storytelling. The characters often directly address the camera, providing insight into their thoughts and feelings. The show also tackles various social and cultural issues, including same-sex marriage, interracial relationships, and blended families.One of the highlights of "Modern Family" is its ensemble cast, which includes well-known actors such as Ed O'Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, and Ty Burrell. The performances of the cast members, combined with the witty writing, have made "Modern Family" one of the most successful and beloved sitcoms of recent years.In conclusion, "Modern Family" is a popular sitcom that depicts the ups and downs of three diverse families in a humorous and relatable way. The show tackles important social issues while providing audiences with plenty of laughs. If you're looking for a lighthearted and heartwarming show about the modern family dynamic, "Modern Family" is definitely worth watching.。

美剧摩登家庭第一季中英台词完整版美剧《摩登家庭》第一季中英台词完整版[剧集简介]《摩登家庭》是一部以纪录片的形式记录了三个完全不同类型的美国家庭生活的喜剧。

各种类型的人们生活在一起，在他们快乐的时候，犯了错误时，家人总是相互支持和互相爱戴。

今天，我们将带您回顾《摩登家庭》第一季的精彩片段和中英台词。

[伊丽莎白家族（The Dunphys）]该家庭由菲尔（Phil）、克莱尔（Claire）夫妇和他们的三个子女海莉（Haley）、亚历克斯（Alex）和卢克（Luke）组成。

他们是正常家庭的代表，面对各种日常问题。

[菲尔和克莱尔在学校接孩子的场景]克莱尔：Phil，你看见卢克和亚历克斯了吗？菲尔：找到了，他们正在操场上玩耍。

你永远不知道卢克会做出什么疯狂的事情，但他总是让我笑得开心（回头看着克莱尔微笑）[海莉在和朋友闲聊时的场景]海莉：我们不应该关注这些琐碎的事情。

人生如此美好，我们应该去追求更重要的东西，比如时尚和派对。

[坎佩斯家族（The Pritchetts）]该家族由杰伊（Jay）和格洛丽亚（Gloria）夫妇、杰伊的儿子米歇尔（Mitchell）和他的伴侣卡梅伦（Cameron）以及杰伊和格洛丽亚的儿子曼尼（Manny）组成。

他们展示了一个涉及多个文化背景、家庭关系和性取向的现代家庭。

[杰伊和曼尼在照顾小狗时的场景]杰伊：曼尼，你得小心照顾好你的小狗，不要让它乱咬东西。

曼尼：放心，爸爸，我会像个负责任的主人一样好好照顾它的。

[杰伊和米歇尔在父子聚会上的对话]杰伊：米歇尔，你是个律师，你应该安排好你的时间表。

米歇尔：嗯，爸爸，我在争取平衡家庭和工作之间的时间。

[普里查德家族（The Pritchett-Tuckers）]该家族由米歇尔（Mitchell）和卡梅伦（Cameron）夫妇收养的女儿莉莉（Lily）组成。

他们是一个同性恋夫妻领养的孩子，展示了一个真实而温馨的家庭。

[米歇尔和卡梅伦参加孩子生日派对的场景]莉莉：谢谢你们为我准备生日派对，爸爸和爸爸你们是最棒的！米歇尔和卡梅伦：我们爱你，莉莉！[卡梅伦和米歇尔讨论养孩子问题的场景]卡梅伦：米歇尔，我们需要好好照顾莉莉，教她正确的价值观。

Claire : Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them?Phil : Yeah, just a sec.Claire : Kids!Phil : That is so,..Claire : Okay...Phil : Kids, get down here!Haley : Why are you guys yelling at us, when we're way upstairs, just text me.Claire : Alright, That's not gonna happen, and, wow, you're not wearing that outfit.Haley : What's Wrong with it?Claire : Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter... about her skirt?Phil : Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute sweetheart!Haley : Thanks!Claire : No, it's way to short, people know you're a girl, you don't need to prove it to them.Alex: Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.Phil : I got it. Where's the baby oil?Claire : It's on our bedside tip... I Don't know, find it. Come on!Claire : I... was out of control growing up, there, you know, i said it. I...I, I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes i made. If Haley never would exhibit on a beach in Florida, half naked... I've done my job. Phil : Our job.Claire : Right... I've done our job.Gloria : Bravo Manny! Kick it! Kick it! Manny go! No! That was a penalty!Jay : Gloria, there Owen's six, Let's take it down a notch.Gloria : We're, very different. He's from the city. He has big business. I come from a small village, very poor, but very very beautiful. It's the number one village in North-Columbia for all the... what's the word?Jay : Murders.Gloria : Yes, the murders.Gloria : Manny, stop him! Stop him!Boy : Dammit, manny!a Mom : Come on, coach! You've gotta take that kid out!Gloria : You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!?Jay : Honey, honey...Gloria : Why don't you worry about your son! He's spend the first half with his hands in his pants!Josh : I've wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks... I'm Josh, Ryan's dad.Gloria : Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett... Manny's mother.Josh : Oh, this must be your dad.Jay : Her dad? Uh, no, no, that's funny. Actually no, I'm her husband! Don't be fooled by the... Give me a second here.Mitchell :Who's the good girl? Who's that?Old lady : Oh, She's adorable!Mitchell :Oh, thank you!Old lady : Hey precious...Mitchell :Hello. Hi, hi. We've just adopted her from Vietnam and we're bringing her home for the first time. Man :She's an angel. You and you're wife must be thrilled!Cameron : Sorry, sorry, sorry, Daddy needed snacks. Hi! So, what are we talking about?Mitchell :We have been together for... five, five years now? And we've decided we really wanted to have a baby... so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate.Cameron : Then we figured, they are already mean enough. Can you imagine one of them pregnant? No, thank you. Ekk...Mitchell :You saw that right? Everybody fondling up to Lillian, then you walk on... and suddenly it's all "Huu...". I'm gonna give a speech.Cameron : You are not giving a speech ... you gonna stuck with this people for the next five hours!Mitchell :You're right, it's okay, I'm sorry.Woman : Honey, look at that baby with those creampuffs.Mitchell : Okay, excuse me. Excuse me, but this baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for us creampuffs ... and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows no race...Cameron : Mitchell!Mitchell :... creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe...Cameron : Mitchell!!Mitchell :What?Cameron : She's got the creampuffs.Mitchell :Oh!Cameron : We would like to pay for everyone's headsets.Phil : Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this?Luke :I thought I could get out this time.Alex :I'm just gonna say it... he needs to be checked by a specialist.Phil : There! Be free, Excalibur!Haley : I'm having a friend over today.Claire : Who?Haley : You don't know him.Claire : Him... Him?Luke : Oeh, a boy! You gonna kiss him?Haley : Shut up!Phil : Easy. Easy.Alex: You don't even...Claire : Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay?Alex: And do what?Phil : Fighting a son, it would be a nice change. I'm kidding!Claire : Haley! Who's the boy?Haley : His name is Dylan ... You know, I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.Claire : Honey! Hang on a second, you're fifteen, it's the first time you've had a boy over. I mean I'm bound to be a little surprised, but... We're not gonna embarrass you!Phil : I'm better go charge the camcorder. I'm kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to?Phil : I'm a cool dad. That's... that's my thang. I'm hype, I surf the web, I text. LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face. You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so...Alex: MOM! DAD!Claire : What happened?Alex: Luke just shot me!Luke : I didn't mean to!Claire : Are you okay?Alex: No, the little bitch shot me!Claire : Language!Luke : They're only plastic bb's! It was an accident!Claire : What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this!Phil : Buddy... Uncool.Claire : That's it? No, no, no, the agreement was that, if he shoots someone ... you shoot him.Phil : We were serious about that?Claire : Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.Luke : I'm so sorry!Claire : Liar. Go!Phil : But he's got a birthday party.Alex: What's more important here dad?Claire : You can shoot him afterwards, he'll be home at two.Phil : I can't shoot him at two, showing a house at two.Alex: What about three?Claire : No, he's at a soccer game at three, and then... Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five. 4:15, you can shoot him at 4:15.Phil : Yeah, I guess that works for me.Claire : "Shoot Luke"Phil : Sorry dude, it's on the calendarLuke :Oh, come on!Manny : I'm quitting soccer, it is a game for children.Gloria : No, you're not quitting. You would have stopped that goal if you weren't staring at that little girl. Manny : She is not a girl, She is a woman.Jay : You know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like that?Gloria : If someone says something about my family, I'm going to...Jay : I'm just ... saying you could take it down here a little bit, that's all.Gloria : Well yeah, coz' that's when you live down here ... but I live up here!Jay : You don't have to be so emotional all the time, that's all I'm saying! Manny, you're with me on this, right? Manny : I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.Jay : Oh, for God's sake.Gloria : Honey, she's 16.Manny : Oh, it's okay for you to take an older lover?Jay : Hey! Watch it!Manny : I want to go to the mall where she works. But first we need to get my white shirt, the silk one.Gloria : Okay, if that's what you really want to do.Jay : Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16 year old, you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpants!Manny : Stop the car!Gloria : Where are you going? You see? You hurt his feelings.Jay : Well, if it toughens him up a little bit, then ... oh, jeez, he's picking flowers!Gloria :Manny is very passionate, just like his father. My first husband is very handsome but, too crazy. It seemed like all what we did was, fight and make love, fight and make love, fight and make love. One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out the window together.Jay : Which one were you doing? I'm hearing this for the first time!Mitchell : This doesn't worry you? She barely slept in the plane, and she's still wide awake.Cameron : Oh, stop worrying!Mitchell :But Cam, That orphanage, it was all women. Maybe she can't fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape.Cameron : I guess that's possible.Mitchell :So, here.Cameron : What the hell is that suppose to mean?Cameron : Yes, I've gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby... which has been very difficult. But, apparently you're body does a nesting, very maternal, primal... thing, were it retains nutrients. Some sort of molecular physiology thing. But that's science, you can't, you can't fight it, so...Mitchell : I'm not saying anything.Cameron : You're saying everything.Mitchell :Count to three, one, t...Cameron : Three!Mitchell :Okay. Oh Cam!Cameron : Oh My God, do you love it?Mitchell :Yes, I... What the hell is that?Cameron : I had Andre do it when we we're gone.Mitchell : Is that us? With wings?Cameron : We're floating above her, always there to protect her.Mitchell :Well, that's reassuring, right Lily? Yeah, we tore you away from everything you know but don't worry, things are normal here. You're fathers are floating fairies! Can you call Andre? Have him paint something a little less... gay? By the way, We need to stop having friends with names like Andre.Cameron : Redheaded dad is angry daddy.Mitchell :No I'm not.Cameron : Yes, you are. Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.Mitchell :Okay, that's another one, Pepper!Cameron : Okay, what's up?Mitchell :Alright, look... I ... I never told my family we were adopting a baby.Cameron : I know.Mitchell :You do?Cameron : Ya, And I don't blame you, I know your family. You tell them, they say something judgmentally. Mitchell :Exactly!Cameron : You get mad.Mitchell :I know, and what's supposed to be nothing, but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fight.Cameron : And who wants a big emotional scene like that?Mitchell :Thank you, I'm so relieved you understand.Cameron : I invited them over for dinner tonight.Mitchell :What?Cameron : I had to! This would have gone on forever. You're an avoider.Mitchell :No, no! Cam, I'm calling them now, I'm cancelling.Cameron : No, you're not! You're telling your family you've adopted a baby, tonight. And you do have avoiding issues! Even Angelo said so.Mitchell :Are you really not hearing these things?Haley : Don't answer it, I'll get it!Claire : Hi! Heey, you must be Dylan.Phil : Hey, Dylan, yeah.Claire :: I'm Haley's mother.Haley : Hey, come on, let's go.Claire : Hang on one second. Dylan... You're still in High School?Dylan :Yeah, I’m a Senior.Claire : Phil, sweety, honey. He is Dylan and he is a Senior.Phil : Let me meet this playa. Phil Dunphy, jo!Phil : It's like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the work. You're mouth might be saying: Hey, we cool! But you're eyes are like: No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, it's not! It's all good? No, it's ...Dylan : Jo.Haley : Okay, I've seen two guysPhil : Wait You two ... two keep it real? You know what I mean, son?Dylan : Not really.Haley : Please stop.Phil : That's cool! Oh, God, That's my back!Claire : Sweatheart.Phil : Owh, oh, I slipped in the baby oil.Phil : Ooh, whe're you from originally? I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation.Claire : I don't know about this, shall I call a doctor?Phil : No, no, no. You're very strong homs'Dylan : Thanks.Phil : Okay, nice, nice soft landing. Okay, I am on my side though, so flip me right back and we're good. We'll be good. Just need to get flipped right on my back, and we should be fine, so.Manny : Brenda Feldman.Gloria : What is that?Manny : A poem I’ve written for Brenda Feld man.Jay : Of course that is.Manny : I put my thoughts into words, and now my words into action!Jay : Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this.Manny : I'm eleven years old, what am I gonna do with money?Jay : What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old?Gloria : It's like a bullfight!Jay : Ever seen a bullfight? I can't watch this.Gloria : You're in such a bad mood. And I know why, It's because that man thought you were my father.Jay : No.Gloria : Yes.Jay : No.Gloria : When you say no like that, it's always yes. Come on, we're in the mall, let's get you like some younger clothes ... there's a store there that I know...Jay : I don't need any younger clothes! And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.Gloria : Good, you shouldn't. You should only care what I think. I love you, and I don't care how old you are. So stop being an gloomygoos, and stop being so hard on Manny.Jay : The only reason I'm hard on Manny is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself. And I can smell that hair goo of his from here!Gloria : Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there but you're his family now. And that means only one thing. You be there winning his back, not to spit in his face!Jay : What?Gloria : Something my mom always says, it's gorgeous in Spanish. Look, he's there.Manny : She has a boyfriend.Gloria : OHH, I'm sorry, mi nino.Manny : I gave her my heart. She gave me a picture of me as an old time sheriff. That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it?Gloria : No mi amore, It was brave, right Jay? Brave.Jay : I.. b... you'll know better next time. Come on! Let's get a pretzel.Security guard : Oh, excuse me, sir? We asked all mall-walkers to stay to the right.Haley : Alex, get out! MOM!Claire : Alex, leave your sister alone!Alex: I was just getting my book, gosh!Claire : I know sweety, but you need to respect her privacy. What are they doing up there?Alex: Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie.Claire : Okay... Okay... I'm making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting?Alex: Sure. So, you know if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months and then like tell everyone the baby's yours?Claire : What?Alex: That senior at school was out sick for like four months, but Terna Wristniks says she was out breastfeeding in a cleanup carwash.Phil : Buddy, what are you wearing?Luke : Nothing.Phil : No jacket, one hat. How many pairs of underwear do you have on?Luke : One (ix)Alex: First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew.Claire : Haley is not getting pregnant!Alex: I'm just saying if.Claire : I know, and I know you like to make trouble for your sister but it's not gonna work this time. You know why? 'Cause your sister is a good girl. I know, I was just like her when I was...Phil : I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this. This is an important lesson that you're leaning, so. It's all good, keep it...Luke : You're to close, it's gonna hurt.Phil : It's supposed to hurt!Luke : And why are you smiling?Phil : I'm... What? Oh, forget it. I can't do this. The point is, you're scared. I think you've learned your lesson. Luke : Awww!Haley : Mom?! What are you doing?Claire : Hey, I was just dropping off some laundry, This is a bad time?Haley : Yeah...Claire : Oh, okay.Haley : Can you shut the door please?Claire : Actually we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open.Haley : Why?Claire : Because I have seen this little show before: Lying on the bed with a tall, senior. one minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest, and the next you're lying underneath the air-hockey table with your bra un-pocket! Haley : Mom!Luke : You hit my bone!Phil : It was an accident!Luke : I thought we were friends!Phil : I am your friend!Haley : Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely freaking out and embarrassing me.Phil : Well, honey, you're mom isn't always as cool about things as I... What is with this thing!Mitchell : My dad, ehm, my dad isn't completely comfortable with this, ehm, he still does this thing. It's been five years now. And he still does this thing where he announces himself before walking into any room were in. Just to make sure he doesn't have to ever see us kiss.Cameron : Wish my mother had that system. Remember?Mitchell :Not now.Mitchell :I still can't believe you did this to me!Cameron : Would you get in the spirit of things! It's a celebration!Mitchell :Oh God.Cameron : Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready, and I want you to just come straight out with it,Mitchell :Alright.Cameron : You can do this! Sportsguy-chest-bump,Mitchell : No.Cameron : Sportsguy-chest-bump!Mitchell :Cam. Do it, GO!Mitchell :Heey, how are you? Hi guys! Well thank you, thanks.Claire : Oh Don't thank us open it, dad is coming right behind.Jay : Knock, knock, we're here! Coming in!Mitchell :Don't worry dad, nothing gay going on here. May I take you're multicolored coat and you're bejeweled cap?Jay : Yeah.Phil : Hey Jay.Claire : Gloria, hi! How are you?Phil : Hi Gloria, how are you? What a beautiful dress!Gloria : Thank you, Phil! Oh, Okay.Claire : Phil! She said Phil, not feel!Jay : So how was you're trip?Mitchell :It was good, it was good actually but...about that I have something that I need to tell you guys. We didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure. We, kinda have some big news.Jay : Oh, God, if Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving!Claire : Dad!Haley : I hope he didn't embarrass you, mom.Claire : Don't mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot him.Mitchell :Anyway, so about a year ago. Cam and I sort of feeling this longing for something more...like, maybe a baby.Jay : Woooh, that's a bad idea.Mitchell :What do you mean, bad idea?Jay : Well, kids need a mother! I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog!Mitchell :We're not bored, dad!Gloria : I support you Mitchell, and though you're not my sonClaire : I, I think what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell you're a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you don't handle well.Mitchell :Oh, That's not what dad is saying . That's what you're saying. And it's insulting in an whole different way.Phil : Okay, people, let's all chillax!Alex: Hey! Where's uncle Cameron?Mitchell :Finally, thank you, someone who's not insulting me, notices he's not here.Jay : Oh! So, that's the big announcement. You two broke up. Well a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway! And you know? Let me tell you, your'll be better of, because he was a bit of a dramaqueen.Mitchell :No, no, no! Stop, stop! You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend who by the way is not that dramatic! We've adopted a baby. Her name is Lily.Cameron : Exciting!Mitchell :Just turn it off.Cameron : I can't turn it off, it's who I am!Mitchell :The music!Cameron : Oh, yes, the music. Come, say hello Lily.Haley : Oh, she's so cute!Phil : Let me see her. Hi Lily. Lily? Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? No?Jay : Excuse me... Okay, I, I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea. But... What do I know? I mean, It's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood. I've been trying all my life to get it right, i'm still screwing up. Right, Manny?Manny : I wrote a song about it in the car.Jay : Of course you did. Anyway, I'm happy for you! And you should know that... I'm not here to spit in your face, I'm here to blow at your back. It's supposed to sound better in Spanish. Anyhow, Mitch...Mitchell :No, dad, it's... I got it, I got it.Claire : She want's her daddy.Mitchell :Do you wanna meet grandpa?Jay : You're kidding? She's one of us now, Let me see that little pot sticker! Eey, you're a cutie, aren't you!Jay : We're from different worlds. Yet we somehow fit together. Love is what's binds us. Through fair, or stormy weather. I stand before you now with only one agenda To let you know my heart is yours. Feldman, coma, Brenda I mean seriously!Phil : Luke, so far, he hasn't beaten me at basketball.Phil : It's 2-0. Get that! Will you step out of my kitchen! Could you just do me a favour and just grab... How's the weather down there?Phil : But, when the day comes that he does win, if, you know, if when...he beats me. I'm just gonna be like, "well done! Well done!" Just let him, just support him. In that kind of stuff. I'm probably just wanna go like, 2 out of 3, and just see what happens there, but.。

摩登家庭直译例子《摩登家庭》直译那些事儿：笑料与思考并存《摩登家庭》这一剧名的英文是“Modern Family”，直白地翻译过来就是“现代家庭”，这看似简单平常的直译，其实背后有着不少有趣的东西可以说道说道呢。

从字面看，“摩登家庭”这个译名很巧妙地给这个剧增添了一种时尚、现代的氛围。

当我们刚听到这个名字的时候，脑海里可能立马浮现出一个充满都市时尚感的家庭形象。

那种穿着时髦，住着高档住宅，家庭里每个人都有着新派思想和行为方式的画面好像跃然而出。

就好像是家里随时可能开个炫酷的party，父母和孩子的相处如同好朋友般嘻哈打趣。

这个翻译很好地抓住了原著那种现代性的韵味，让观众在还没看剧之前就先被这股“摩登”劲儿给吸引住了。

记得我刚开始追《摩登家庭》的时候，就是被这个名字勾了魂。

心想，哟，这得是个多新潮的家庭故事啊。

看了之后才发现，果真如此，但又大为惊喜。

因为它不仅仅是停留在表面的摩登，像是穿什么衣服、开什么车的那种摩登，更是思想上的摩登。

在这个家庭里，祖孙三代不同种族和文化背景的人组合在一起，他们相互尊重、包容。

同性恋婚姻、跨文化恋爱这些在很多地方还比较前卫的家庭元素在剧里像是稀松平常的事儿。

而“摩登家庭”这个译名就像是一个很好的招牌，精准地预示着剧里那种对现代多元家庭模式的精彩展示。

而且啊，这个名字还很接地气，很适合这个剧在中国的传播。

很多中国观众一看“摩登”这两个字，就很能理解这是讲述有关现代生活的故事，又有家庭这一联系大众情感的元素。

就跟在聊天说“哎呀，那家人可真摩登啊”一样的感觉，简单易懂，又趣味十足。

不像有些译名，咬文嚼字半天都不知道是啥意思，“摩登家庭”就像一个热情开朗的伙伴，直接把剧的精髓和那种亲民的感觉送到观众眼前。

从译者的角度想，能想出这么一个译名也是费了不少心思的吧。

毕竟要在尊重原意的基础上做到吸引眼球、符合中国观众的口味还真不容易。

“Modern Family”要是直译成“现代家庭”就略显平淡，而“摩登家庭”就像是被魔术师点化了一样，一下子就生动起来了。

So the five keys to investing wisely in a down real estate market are... 在低迷的房地产市场中明智投资的五大秘诀就是KEYp your cool... "诀"对保持冷静KEYp informed... "诀"对信息灵通Legwork. 腿脚勤快I recently became a partner in a new agency, 我刚成为一家新房地产公司的合伙人so I put together a seminar 所以我要办个解说会to recruit first-time home buyers. 来吸引第一次买房的新手I want to give 'em a step-by-step description 我希望给他们一步步讲解of exactly what I can do for them. 我如何帮他们选到满意的房子Am I worried tha they might write it all down 你问我会不会担心他们记下步骤后and just do it themselves? 自己去挑选房子Quite frankly, I hadn't thought about it until just now. 坦白说我现在才察觉到这个问题Do I really have to go to this thing? 我非得去参加吗Yes. You're a big part of today. 当然你今天戏份大着呢You're my support staff. 你是我的后勤人员Then why am I not getting paid? 那你为什么不付我工钱That is a good question. 问得好And I think I'm gonna text you the answer 我会把答案用短信发到on that cell phone we pay for. 我们买给你的手机上Honey, do you wanna practice your part again? 亲爱的要再练习一下你的部分吗Uh, no. It's just one question. I think I got it. 不就一个问题而已我记住了Yeah, but it's the most important question 是的可那是最关键的问题because it launches me into my big finish. 它将引出我的压轴好戏- Yes. - That way, people leave excited. -没错 -那样人们会高高兴兴地离开Oh, I think people will be excited to leave. 我看是很高兴能离开吧Luke... 卢克Why? 你在干嘛I'm sorry. It's for school. 抱歉我是为了完成学校作业I have to design a container that'll protect an egg 我必须设计一个容器保护鸡蛋in a 1-story drop. 从1层楼高处跌落而不摔碎Yeah, so, um, 好吧所以you thought you would go with an egg carton? 你准备用包装鸡蛋的纸盒吗What if the best idea was under my nose the whole time? 也许最佳方法就藏在我眼皮底下呢You're gonna need to come down and clean this up now. 你得下来把这一摊收拾干净Ugh! I wouldn't have to do any of this 其实我本来完全不用瞎折腾的if Alex would just let me use hers from when she took the class.都怪艾丽克斯不肯让我用她当年上这课时的作品Never. 门都没有That design is my intellectual property. 那设计是我的知识产权I think it has applications for unmanned space flight.我觉得它足以应用在无人"驾"驶太空飞行上Keep talking like that 你再继续当科学怪胎and you'll go through life unmanned. 一辈子都无人可"嫁"了- Funny. - Girls. -真会搞笑 -姑娘们Luke, honey, listen to me. 卢克亲爱的听我说You're gonna need to do this project on your own. 你得独立完成这个作业And you can do it. Just... really think. 你能做到的只要努力动动脑子I've got it! 我想到了What if I'm the container? 用我自身做容器如何There's a thought. You could be... 算是个想法你可以...No, Luke! Luke! 别卢克卢克第三季第十二集摩登家庭Okay, si, te quiero. Mwah, mwah, mwah! 好好亲亲爱你哦I understood "Crazy old witch," 我听懂了"疯老巫婆子""Go kill yourself," Then "I love you." "去死吧" 以及 "爱你哦"I'll never get this, how you all yell at each other. 我一直搞不懂你们怎么老互相嚷嚷That's how you know that your family loves you 如何感受家人爱when they feel free to scream at you. 就在他们嚷你时Oh, I guess I owe my ex-wife an apology. 那我应该对我前妻说声抱歉了Apparently,she was nuts about me. 显然她当年爱我爱得如痴如狂Darn it! 该死Try the next one over a frying pan. 下次在炒锅上试验吧I could use some breakfast. 正好给我当早饭This is so frustrating. 真让人丧气At least you're getting your hands dirty for a change. 至少你是在亲自动手做事It is a nice break from the life of the mind I usually live. 平时都沉迷于精神世界现在能动动手也不错That's the spirit. 说得很对Plus it's a metaphor for the human condition. 再说也是对人类境况的一种暗喻Aren't we all just fragile eggs 我们不都是易碎的鸡蛋吗hiding behind bubble wrap and bravado? 躲藏在气泡垫的背后And we're back. 又回到老样子了Well, I'm sure that your egg-droppy thing 我保证你的鸡蛋坠落作品is going to be the best in the class. 会是全班最棒的Except for Luke's. 肯定比不上卢克的Really? Our Luke? 是吗我们家卢克吗But isn't he, like, a little, like... 可他不是有点...天然呆I bet Claire's gonna help him, 克莱尔肯定会帮他忙的just like she did with his self-portrait for art class. 就像上次美术课帮他画自画像一样There was life in those eyes. 那双眼睛囧囧有神It was haunting. 让人难以忘怀Tell you what. I'm gonna nip this in the bud. 那行我要将此不正之风扼杀于萌芽中You deserve a fighting chance. 你应该有公平竞争的机会Hey, I'm calling about that, uh, egg project the boys are doing.我是为孩子们的那个鸡蛋坠落作业打来的Parents aren't supposed to help out on that, right? 家长不该插手帮忙对吧Why would the parents be helping? 家长干嘛要帮呢Why do they cut grapes for 8-year-olds? 那干嘛要帮8岁的孩子切葡萄呢I figure if you can eat a chicken finger, 我觉得他们都会啃炸鸡条了you can tear your way through a grape. 肯定也能成功解决一颗葡萄Again, dad? 又旧事重提吗爸爸Oh, I'm sorry, it just... 抱歉那事...bugs me, is all. 总让我不爽而已The point is, I'm not helping, 我要说的是我不会帮忙and I hope no one else is helping, either. 我希望大家也都别帮忙Okay, dad. Thanks for the heads-up. 好吧爸爸多谢你提醒Love you. Bye-bye. 爱你哦再见Well, my dad is doing Manny's project for him. 我爸要帮曼尼做作业了He called to tell you that? 他专门打电话来告诉你吗Oh, no. He called to tell me that he wasn't, 不他打来告诉我他不会帮忙which is exactly what you say when you are, 那正是当你要插手帮忙时but you don't want anybody to suspect it. 又不想引人怀疑的说辞Really? 是吗What would you say if you had issues with your father?那你和你爸之间的问题又是什么说辞呢Claire and Jay are incredibly competitive. 克莱尔和杰非常喜欢一较高低Tennis games, card games, everything. 网球比赛扑克比赛任何事Who knows why? 没人知道原因Claire is the son that my dad never had. 克莱尔就像是我爸期望中的儿子I mean, he just wanted someone to throw a ball in the backyard.他希望有个儿子一起在后院投球玩I did once, but... 我投过一次可是He did not attend. 他没有来Looks like fun. 看起来挺有趣的It was, but now it's hard. 开始是可现在变难了Oh, I'm sure you're gonna do great, buddy... 你一定能做得很好老弟Claire? 克莱尔Uh, I am just showing interest in our son's project, 我只是对咱儿子的作品感兴趣which any parent would-- 任何家长都...Think! Think... to do. Thinking... I am, 想想好好想我在想that maybe I should stay here 或许我应该留在这儿in case Luke has any questions. 以防卢克有什么问题要问Do you think you can find somebody else 你能找到其他什么人to help you with your seminar? 去帮你完成解说会吗I don't know. That's a little last-minute. 估计不行吧现在让我去哪儿找啊You're kind of irreplaceable. 你是不可替代的啊Well, I mean, it's just one question, 我意思是说反正就只有一个问题and the seminar isn't for a few hours... 而且那个解说会也不会花太多时间Hey, Gloria? Quick favor. 喂歌洛莉亚帮个小忙Okay. See you there. Bye-bye. 好吧那边见拜拜What was that? 什么事Phil. 是菲尔He needs help with a seminar that he's giving. 他请我去帮他完成一个解说会Why can't Claire help him? 怎么不找克莱尔帮他- He didn't say. - I'll tell you why -他没说 -我告诉你为什么because she's knee-deep in Luke's egg drop project. 因为她投身于卢克的鸡蛋坠落实验了She said that she was not going to help. 她说过不会插手帮忙的That's exactly what I would say to me 那正是我对自己的惯用说辞if I was helping my kid and didn't want me to know. 用于我想帮孩子又想骗自己说没插手的场合Why would you be talking to you? 你为什么会跟自己说话I'm just saying it's unfair to Manny. 我只是说那样对曼尼不公平The kid doesn't stand a chance on his own. 那孩子只靠自己是没希望赢的I'm tagging in here. 我要插手了Jay, he doesn't need you to baby him. 杰他不需要你插手I'm just gonna give him a few tips. 我就给他一点点指导而已Kid, get yourself a snack. 孩子去吃点东西Okay, I'll cut him some grapes. 好吧我给他切点葡萄Damn it! 别捣乱Not like that, Jay. 不是那种切片杰Like this. Look. 是这样瞧着It just irritates me, you know what I mean? 那个能惹毛我你懂的We're meeting with prospective birth mothers. 我们近期在见一些孕妇是未来要领养孩子的生母We've had a few of these meetings, 我们曾有过一些类似的见面and they're very nerve-racking. 那种事让人十分伤脑筋You want to look good, 你希望打扮得帅气迷人You want to make a good first impression 给对方留下良好的第一印象kind of like a first date. 有点像初次约会Actually, it's--it's the opposite of a first date. 事实上跟初次约会正好相反You don't wanna have sex, but you do want a baby. 你不想做爱但却希望直接要个孩子I have to say, Lily is adorable, 我必须承认莉莉太可爱了and such a good eater. 而且很能吃哦Oh, not all the time. 并非总是如此She just happens to love my tuna salad. 她只是喜欢我做的金枪鱼沙拉而已Dolphin safe, of course. 当然我们没吃海豚Oh, who cares about that? 谁在乎那个啦Well, I bet the dolphins do. 我觉得海豚们介意It's okay to eat tuna, but not dolphin? 你意思是说吃金枪鱼可以吃海豚就不行My theory is, a fish is a fish. 我却觉得鱼就是鱼而已Well... 其实呢A dolphin's actually a mammal, so... 海豚实际上是哺乳动物所以说Eh, to-may-to, to-mah-to. 就像番茄和西红柿都一回事More like tomato, cow. 区别可大了母牛Mitchell, can you help me with the scones in the kitchen? 米奇来厨房帮我弄一下司康饼Okay. 好的Excuse us. 失陪一下Okay, this is not really about the scones. 好吧我们不是来弄司康饼的Oh, really? You didn't need help carrying six scones? 是吗你一个人能拿得了六块饼吗No, this is about your need to correct 不问题是你得改掉everyone's every little mistake. 偏执地纠正别人小错误的毛病I am sorry. 不好意思I thought that she could use a basic biology lesson. 但我觉得她需要学习一些基础生物知识Well, let me give you a basic biology lesson-- 好吧我来告诉你一点基础生物知识you and I can't make a baby. 你跟我生不了孩子So if she points to a lamp and calls it "Uncle George," 所以如果她指着一盏灯说那是乔治叔叔What are you gonna say? 你怎么说"Pleased to meet you, Uncle George." "很高兴见到你乔治叔叔"Very good. Now let's get out there, 很好现在我们出去smile, nod, and get ourselves a baby. 微笑点头弄个孩子回来Okay. 好吧And those are your five keys. 眼前就是你们的五把钥匙[关键要点]Now if there are no more questions... 如果没有别的问题的话Ah, yes, the lovely home buyer right here 哦看这边有位可爱的买家On the edge of her seat. 正跃跃欲试呢I was wondering... 我想问的是I was wondering, 我想问的是Is there a sixth key? 有第六把钥匙吗As a matter of fact, 事实上There is. 的确有We'll work on that. 待会儿得再练练It's the key to the new home you've purchased below market.此乃你能够以低于市场价买到新居的关键Thanks to Woosnum, Keneally, and Dunphy. 感谢沃斯南&肯尼利&邓菲公司吧Bravo! 精彩绝伦Fire the confetti cannon, drop the banner, 放彩花落帷幕autographs, autographs, autographs, 签名签名签名and we're done. 然后搞定We still have, like, an hour left. 我们还剩一个小时呢Can I go shopping? 我能去购物吗No. I-I have vocal exercises to do, 不行我得做一些发声练习and I need you to do a sound check for me. 我需要你帮我检查一下嗓音I was hoping we could go to my hair salon. 我打算和海莉去一趟发廊来着It's nearby. I didn't have time to finish my hair this morning. 就在附近今天早上我没时间弄头发Really? That just happens? 不是吧就要弃我而去了吗Ooh, and I can get my nailse done. 真好我可以去做美甲Is it okay? 行吗Okay. Sure. 好吧走吧Oh, oh! 对了Could one of you guys stick this under a chair on your way out?你们出去时谁能把这个钉在某一个椅子下面One of the lucky attendees is going home 某个幸运参会者可以带回家with a brand-new mouse pad. 一个新型鼠标垫哦Wait, wait, wait, wait! 等一下等一下I don't wanna see which chair. 我不想知道是哪个椅子I wanna be blown away like everyone else. 我想到时候和其他人一样被震撼到Yes. Now that is feng shui. 没错那就叫顺应风水Doesn't that feel better? 现在是不是感觉舒服多了Oh, yes. It's wonderful for conversation. 还真是现在的格局"真适合"聊天Yes, this is nice. 没错感觉真好It gives the room a nice flow, which I'm really liking. 让室内有一种流通感我真的好喜欢Sometimes, your furniture tells you where it wants to be. 有时候你的家具会告诉你它们想被放在哪里Yeah. 对Do you mind if I use your restroom? 我能用一下卫生间吗Not at all. It's-- it's just down the hall. 请大厅一直走就是Just be warned--there's some furniture in there 顺便说一下里面有些家具that kind of likes where it is! 貌似就喜欢现在的摆放位置哦Okay, I know it's killing you to do this whole song and dance, 好吧我明白让你如此卑躬屈膝装孙子很折磨人But I think it's going great. 但是我觉得进行的很顺利Cam, there's a limit, okay? 小卡得有个度才行懂吗We already promised her that we would show her son all 52 states.我们已经答应会带她儿子逛遍52个州Oh, wow, you have a keyboard. 哇哦你们还有电子琴耶Oh, yes. That's mine. 是的那是我的琴You're musical. I love that. 你是音乐家我喜欢It's very important to me. 那对我很重要It's very important to me. [choir 本意为唱诗]Oh, well, you're preaching to the choir. 噢还用你来向我鼓吹音乐的重要性嘛Literally. I've sung in several. 真的我真在几个唱诗班唱过呢Yeah, we sing to Lily... all of the time. 我们经常给莉莉唱歌I wish I could hear you guys. 我真希望能听听你们的歌声Oh, well, that's very sweet. 噢哈谢谢夸奖No, now. 不是我现在想听The baby's father is a musician, 宝宝的亲生爸爸是个音乐家and I would love to know 所以我真的很希望that he's growing up in a musical househo. 他能在一个音乐氛围浓厚的家庭成长- Okay. - Great. -好吧 -太好了Okay. Now we are actually doing a song and dance. 好吧现在我们真得歌舞欢腾了Okay, well, look at it this way-- 好吧你应该这么想We're not only adopting a baby, 我们不仅是是领养了一个宝宝we're saving it from a life spent searching for east Dakota.也避免了他将一生都用于寻找东达科他州we're saving it from a life spent searching for east Dakota. [美国只有南北达科他州没有东达科他州]Oh, God. 神啊This is acally nice. 这灯其实不错的This is actually very nice to lean on. 用来靠着确实挺不错的It broke again. 又摔破了Mm. Yes, I saw. 是啊我看见了We'll just need to double up on the cotton. 我们只需要把棉层加倍就好了Here, let me save you a step. 瞧着反正都是碎不如直接摔Alex! 艾丽克斯Knock, knock! 开门开门Dad! Hey! What are you doing here? 爸爸你来这干什么Manny needs that solder iron I lent to Phil. 曼尼需要用我借给菲尔的电烙铁One of the screws on his project keeps coming loose. 他那装置上的一个螺钉总是拧不紧Other than that, it's flawless. 除了那个毛病其余的就无懈可击了Huh. His latest test run, he dropped it off the roof, 最新的一次测试中他在楼顶松手后he walked downstairs, it hadn't landed yet. 走下楼梯这时候鸡蛋还没落地呢I had nothing. I had to get in Claire's head. 我毫无进展我必须扰乱克莱尔的方寸Sometimes the best thing to do in race to the top... 有时候想要在竞争中拔得头筹is grease the pole behind you. 最好是玩点阴的Wow. So Manny's still working? 这么说曼尼还在做吗Luke finished a couple hours ago. 卢克几小时之前就完成了Is that why all these eggs are on the floor? 所以地上才有这么多烂鸡蛋吗Oh, well, you know, after so many landed safely, 其实是经历了多次的成功试验后we thought we should test 'em, 我们觉得应该测试一下这些鸡蛋make sure we weren't working with a super strong batch. 确保这些不是超级摔不烂鸡蛋Sounds like you knocked it out of the park. 听起来你们相当成功嘛Oh yeah!We did. 那是当然Um, so dad, 那么爸爸if I find out what Phil did with that soldering iron, 如果我知道菲尔把电烙铁搁哪了I'll run it over. 我就给你送去Great. . 'cause, uh, 太好了因为we're gonna test it later today at the school. 我们今天晚些时候会在学校试验Fun. Maybe we'll meet you. 有意思说不定到时能碰见你呢We can come anytime, right? 我们随时都能去是吧Cause we don't have a-a spring problem. 因为我们的弹簧什么的可没出故障Run 5? 5点见Perfect. 很好Okay. Bear with us. We're a little rusty. 您多担待我们久未开过嗓了Yes, and please put all cell phones on vibrate. 没错请把手机调至震动状态*Don't go breaking my heart 不要把我心伤**I couldn't if I tried 我怎能把你心伤**Honey, if I get restless 宝贝如果我焦躁不安**Baby, you're not that kind 宝贝你不是那种人**Nobody knows it 无人知晓**Nobody knows 无人知晓**When I was down 当我心潮低落**I was your clown 我就是逗你笑的小丑*I really am a clown. 我真的是个小丑*I gave you my heart 我把心都给了你**So don't go breaking my heart 所以不要把我心伤**I won't go breaking your heart 我不会把你心伤**Don't go breaking my 不要把我心伤**Don't go breaking my heart.Yeah 不要把我心伤耶*- Thank you. - It was wonderful. -谢谢 -唱得太好了Oh. I'm confused, though. 但是我有点疑惑I thought Cameron was the singer. 我以为卡梅隆是歌手Yeah. 是Yes, yes, I am. 是是我是Really? Because mitchell has such a lovely voice. 真的因为米奇尔的嗓音那么甜美Well, I think he was following my lead. 其实我想是他只是跟着我的调You know, a good leader can make all the difference. 一个好的领唱可以带动全场呢Actually, you were a little pitchy. 事实上你嗓音有点粘But it was terrific, really. 但总体真的很棒真的Thank you. 谢谢Yes. Thank you for your opinion. 谢谢你的意见Faster! Faster! We're going to be late to your father. 快点快点你爸那边要迟到了Why did you have to do your toes, too? 为什么你还得给你的脚趾头做美甲Well, there's this really cute boy at school 学校里有个超可爱的男生who's kinda into my feet. 好像有点迷上我的玉足了呢Be careful. That can get really creepy fast. 小心点说不定那人是个变态Ay. Where is the car? I parked it here! 咦车呢我刚就停这了It's a tow zone. 这是禁停区Somebody just put that there, 那牌子肯定是刚刚挂上的违者拖走交通畅行区because that wasn't here when I parked! 因为我停车的时候还没有那块牌呢It looks pretty old to me. 我觉得那块牌已经风吹日晒很久了啊Haley, don't lie. That was not here! 海莉别瞎说刚刚真没那块牌Ladies and gentlemen... 女士们先生们Get ready for one of the giants 准备好欢迎of residential real estate... 房地产行业巨子A salesman's salesman... 推销员中的推销员Where are you guys? I've been calling you! 你们在哪我刚刚一直给你们打电话A realtor's realtor... 房产经纪人中的翘楚You were supposed to do my intro. 本该由你来引入我的出场Now I have to. 现在只能我自己干了2-time non-consecutive winner of the realtor of the year award...两届非连续年度房地产经纪人奖得主Just get back here by the end. 在活动尾声时务必回来Future investors, 未来的投资者们Stop making excuses! 别再找借口了And start... making your dreams come true! 开始让你们的梦想成真Ladies and gentlemen, Phil Dunphy! 女士们先生们有请菲尔·邓菲How are you? 你们好吗Thanks, Mike. I appreciate it. 谢谢麦克多谢了Welcome. 欢迎各位Taxi! 计程车You see? They don't stop because I'm latina. 看到没见我是拉美裔就不停车Or because that was just a yellow car. 或者因为那是辆黄色私家小轿车My dad is gonna freak out. 我爸肯定气坏了You have to take the blame for this. 你得把错都揽在自己身上Why me? 为什么Oh, because he'll never get mad at you. 因为他永远不会生你的气He totally puts you on a pedestal. 他把你当女神一样膜拜That's not true. 才不是呢Yeah, it is. 就是Let me just call the cab company. 我打电话到计程车公司叫车吧Taxi! 计程车It's not rocket science, people, it's just a little red card. 有那么难找吗各位红色的小卡片而已Okay. I guess nobody needs a mouse pad. 好吧看来没人需要鼠标垫How's my favorite kid doing? 我最爱的女儿在做什么呢Favorite? 最爱Yeah, I know, we're not supposed to have favorites. 我知道父母不该偏爱哪个孩子But you know what? We do. 可事实是我们的确有偏爱And the good news is, it's you. 好消息是宝贝疙瘩就是你I'm not giving you my design. 我不会把我的设计给你的Who said anything about giving? 谁说要你白给了We can work out an arrangement. 可以商量下条件嘛It's cheating. 你这是作弊What do you want? Money? 你想要什么钱吗I got a little something set aside. 我有点私房钱Okay. I shouldn't even be giving you this hint, 好吧我根本不该给你提示的but, first get a mirror. 但是首先找面镜子A mirror? 镜子Then you're gonna look in it, 接着你看向镜子and you're gonna see a crazy woman. 你会看到一个疯婆子She needs your help. 她需要你的帮助You know, I made the egg that made you, 我产出的卵子[蛋]创造了你that made that project, 你又产出了那个科学设计so in a lot of ways, that design is already mine! 说来说去你的设计本来就是属于我的Oh, you're fine. 你挺好的Are you sure that there are no more questions? 大家确定没有任何问题了吗No more questions? Yes! 没问题了吗很好If we could just get that over to the mustachioed gentleman. 请将麦克风递给那位大胡子先生Yes, I was-- 我想问Oh, hey, I think we're all tired of that sound. 这声音大家都听烦了吧Let me just come to you. 我走过来好了I bet I know what your question is. 我敢肯定我知道你想问什么You're probably wondering 你可能好奇if there's sixth key. 有第六把钥匙吗No, I was wondering about-- 不我是想问I was wondering about accelerated escrow. 我是想问关于加急契约的问题If it works for both parties, 如果买卖双方都愿意it's a great way to expedite the deal. 可以加快过户速度But back to your first question 回到你第一个问题about this mysterious sixth key. 神秘的第六把钥匙- I didn't say anything-- - The sixth key is the key -我没说... -第六把钥匙to the new home that you purchased below market. 就是以低于市场价购入新房的关键Using the simple principles that you learned here today... 利用你们今天所学到的简单原理But not so simple that you don't still need 也不是那么简单你们依然需要the professional services 专业的房地产公司的服务of Woosnum, Keneally... And Dunphy! 即沃斯南&肯尼利&邓菲公司Thank you for coming. 感谢各位的光临Son of a-- 操你...So is--is there anything that you'd like to know about us? 关于我们你还想了解什么I don't think so. 我看不用了In fact, I don't think I need to interview any more people. 事实上我觉得不用再面试其他人了You guys are perfect. 你们太合适了Are--are you saying what I think you're saying? 你的意思是像我想的那样吗I'm not supposed to say anything to you directly, 我不应该直接对你们说什么but I think you guys should be expecting good news. 但是你们就等着好消息吧Aah! Oh, gosh! 我的天啊Oh, I know, I know, you're not saying anything! 了解了解你什么都没说But what you're not saying is wonderful! 但你没说出口的话是天大的好消息Um, all right. I'm gonna get some sparkling cider? 好了我去拿起泡苹果酒Yes, yes. Okay, okay. 好的好的It wouldn't be a celebration without cider 没有苹果酒就没有庆祝氛围or a celebratory song. 没有庆祝之歌也一样But this time, I want you to sit right here. 不过这次我希望你坐在这里So have a seat here. 坐下吧Let's just get this mop out of the way there. 把你乱掉的头发拂到肩后*If you leave me now 如果你现在离我而去**You'll take away the biggest part of me 你将带走我人生的大部分意义**Ooh, ooh, ooh, no, baby, please don't go 不要宝贝求你别走**Ooh, ooh, ooh, no, I just want you to stay 不要我只想要你留下*Yes, she was upset, but on a positive note, 没错她很伤心不过往好处想what I take from this experience is, I can sing. 从此事中得到的结论就是我的歌声很能打动人Uh, what we didn't take away from the experience is a baby, 从此事中我们没得到的是孩子Because she decided to keep it. 人家决定留下孩子自己养No. Did we missed everything? 不好我们完全错过了吗Yeah. They cleared out of here pretty fast. 是的来宾都迅速退场了Bummer. 扫兴More than a bummer, Haley. 又岂止扫兴海莉This was really important to me, and you blew it. 此次推广对我来说很重要却被你弄砸了Ay, no, Phil, it was my fault. 不菲尔全是我的错It was not her fault. 不关她的事Okay. What's done is done. 算了木已成舟Can you take the brochures out to the car? 你把宣传册子拿上车吧Wow. It's still full. 满满一盒都没动Yeah, it is. 是的So it was not very good? 推广效果不好吗Um... no. 不好I kind of need to sweep here. 我得打扫这里Okay. But--but I'm so sorry, Phil. 好的不过我真的很抱歉菲尔It's okay. 没关系No, it's not okay. 不有关系We came late and we ruined your whole presentation. 我们迟到了我们毁了你的解说会These things happen. 人都有倒霉的时候Yeah, it happens, and people get angry. 没错可这个时候一般人都会发火Gloria, it's fine. 歌洛莉亚没事的No, it's not fine! 不有事I'm trying to have a real conversation, 我努力与你沟通I'm trying to have a real conversation, [字面意为放在高台上]and all you do is put me on a pedestal! 而你却把我当女神一样膜拜Wait a minute. You'mad at me? 等等你在生我的气吗Yes, because that's not how family's 是的因为家人之间supposed to treat each other! 不应该是这种态度You know how family's supposed to treat each other? 你知道家人之间应该是什么态度吗They're supposed to actually think about each other! 家人之间应该为对方考虑I asked you to do one thing... 我求你帮一个忙And you were too selfish and irresponsible 但你却这么自私这么不负责任to come through for me on a day that, believe it or not, 连一天都不支持我信不信由你was really important to me! 今天对我真的很重要Oh, my god. You're crying. I'm so sorry. 天哪你居然哭了真对不起No! That's what I want! 不这正是我想要的You yell at me because you love me! 你吼我是因为爱我Well, you made me mad. 你惹我生气了嘛And you should be. 你生气也是应该的Well, I'm not anymore. 好吧我已经不气了Don't treat me like that, Phil. 别这么肉麻菲尔Because now I'm furious! 因为我现在出离愤怒了Ay, mi familia! Si. 噢这才是我的亲人Oh, how do you do that? 你怎么能这样呢It makes me so... 你真是...Mad. 气死我了That's a pretty nice piece of handiwork for a 13-year-old. 对一个13岁孩子来说手工做的相当不错啊Yeah, Luke did pretty good, too, 是啊卢克做的也很好啊for a kid who still needs help getting out of his backpack. 毕竟平时他脱下书包都需要人帮助- Still your grandson. - Felt bad when I said it. -他可是您外孙啊 -怒其不争啊Okay, let's do this. 我们开始吧Watch out, kids! They're coming down! 孩子们看着点儿扔下来了哦One, two, three. 一二三How'd we do? 怎么样Both eggs are okay. 两只蛋都完好无损Great. So we both win. 太好了看来我们都是赢家Unacceptable. 无法接受We're going up another level. 我们升级一层楼吧Absolutely. Come on. Third floor. 没错来吧三楼了哈Meet us there, Alex. Let's go. 艾丽克斯上来找我们走吧。

Modern FamilySeason one:1. 我们来自不同的世界，但我们彼此相容，爱将我们紧紧相连，共度风风雨雨。

我到你的面前，只有一事相许，我的心只属于你。

We’re from difficult worlds, yet we somehow fit together. Love is what binds us, through fair or stormy weather. I stand before you now with only one agenda:” to let you know my heart is yours.”2. 那么，成为好父亲的秘诀是什么，有时候事情会如你所愿，有时候则事与愿违，但你要坚持，因为当一切尘埃落定，一个好父亲的大部分特征就会自然出现。

Okay, the key to being a good dad? Sometimes things work out just the way you want. Sometimes they don’t. You gotta hang in there. Because when all is said and done,90% of being a dad is just showin’up.3. 不觉得好像身处手臂就能拥抱全世界么？Doesn’t it fe el like these arms could go around the world?4.你们都极力想护住些美好的东西。

You’re reaching out, trying to hold on to something awesome.5. 大家一起跳进泳池6. 我是故意输掉让他开心点的么？也许吧。

但在今天，他需要这一场胜利。

我们常常为了深爱的人做些稀奇古怪的事，我们对他们说谎，我们为他们说谎。

或许生活中难免坎坷颠簸，但我们总希望他们过得尽善尽美。

the modern family听力原文
【释义】
the modern family
现代家庭
【短语】
1Modern Family S7E14The Verdict
摩登家庭
2Modern Family S7E16The Cover-Up
摩登家庭
【例句】
1The elevation of the room that once belonged only to the servants to that of design showcase for the modern family tells the story of a century of social change.从曾经只属于仆人的房间，到现代家庭的设计展示，这种演变讲述了一个世纪以来的社会变化。

2The modern family is necessary bedding.
是现代家庭必备的床上用品。

3Emotional Power Broker of the Modern family.
现代家庭的情感经纪人。

4The modern family no longer shares the evening meal.
现代家庭不再一起享用晚餐。

5These traditional ideas of education are still important to the modern family.
这些传统的教育思想对于现代家庭来说，仍有着十分重要的意义。

- Hi honey, breakfast will be ready in a minute. - Hi. -早啊宝贝早饭就快好了 -早My ha-a-a-nd! 我的手-手-手Very funny, mom. 好好笑哦老妈I know it's Halloween. 我知道今天是万圣节啦Nice fake hand. 假手挺逼真啊We love Halloween. 我们超爱万圣节Especially Claire. 尤其是克莱尔It's my favorite holiday. 我最爱的节日没有之一Ever since I was a kid, I loved scary things. 从小我就喜欢惊悚恐怖的东东If there was a new horror movie in town, 每次新上一部恐怖片I was the first in line. 我肯定第一个去排队"One, please." "一张票谢谢"Then I met Phil. 后来我遇到了菲尔"Two, please." "两张票谢谢""Two, please." 《摩登家庭》第二季第六集Okay. 好了All right. Do me. 搞定帮我拉一下Do me, do me, do me. 拉呀拉呀拉呀Cam, I have to say, I feel kind of sexy. 小卡我得说我穿这个还挺性感Well, squeaky sexy, but... 性感得吱吱直响但...You know I'd be enjoying this more 你知道如果不是这么讨厌万圣节if Halloween wasn't such a tough day for me. 我觉得老公穿成这样儿也挺好的But I want you to go to work... 但我想你打扮停当去上班and knock their socks off. 让他们羡慕嫉妒恨Well, my last job was at a pretty conservative law firm.之前我一直在一间古板保守的律所工作No one there would ever dress up for Halloween. 没有人会在万圣节装扮自己But apparently at this new company... 但很明显现在这间律所...Um, right now I'm thinking either vampire or werewolf. 呃我在想是扮成吸血鬼呢还是狼人呢Every year it's harder to decide. 每年都让我很伤脑筋啊Wait, wait, wait. I-I'm sorry. 等一下等一下不好意思Wait. So people really come to work in costumes here? 等等请问你们真的穿着戏服来上班吗Are you kidding? It's epic, bro! 开玩笑吗这可是传统啊伙计Epic. 传统I'm already the new guy. 我是新来的I don't want to be the nonpartipation guy, too. 我可不想和大伙儿格格不入Not on my watch. 有我在就不会Unfortunately, Halloween was marred for me personally 不幸的是我对万圣节的爱在很久之前by an incident long ago. 就因为某件事戛然而止了Now it's just a day I have to get through. 现在能撑过这一天我都觉得命大So you've said. 你又来了All right, so, everybody has to be here at 5:30 好了大家下午五点半在这儿集合to rehearse our house of horrors. 为晚上的鬼屋活动做准备You guys have your costumes ready? 你们都准备好要打扮成什么了吗Yeah, but it's a secret. 好了不过暂时保密Me and Manny came up with something together. 我和曼尼一起弄的I love that! 太棒了- Can I have some candy? - No. -我现在能吃点糖吗 -不行How 'bout you, Alex? 你呢艾丽克斯Well, I haven't really thought about it. 我没空考虑这个I've got, like, three huge exams tomorrow. 我明天有三门很重要的考试Honey, you can't just slap something together at the last minute. 宝贝万圣节装扮可不能临时抱佛脚啊You know, if you gave this costume half as much time 你知道吗如果你能把花功课上的时间and attention as you give your homework, 分一半给准备今晚的着装you wouldn't be in this situation. 也不至于像现在这样儿Can I remind you, you have one child who's not mediocre? 提醒你一下你有个孩子是读书天才哦Check it. I'm a scary black cat. 这身怎么样恐怖猫女装The only person that costume scares is me. 吓不倒别人倒是把我吓得心肝乱颤- Go change it. - To what? -去换一身 -换成什么I don't know. One of your old costumes. 随便什么你以前穿过的吧Honey, trust me. 宝贝相信我I am sparing you an entire day 如果不换的话你一整天of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue. 都会被男人问你的舌头是否也如猫般有摩擦快感Hello. 喂Hi. Dad. It's me. 喂爸是我I wanted to make sure you and Gloria were ready for tonight.我就是问问你和歌洛莉亚准备好今晚活动了没- What's tonight? - What do you mean, what is tonight? -今晚什么活动 -你不会全忘光了吧Dad, it's Halloween. You know this. 爸今晚万圣节啊你知道的Calm down, Morticia, I'm just teasing you. 别着急莫蒂莎我逗你呢Calm down, Morticia, I'm just teasing you. 连环画《亚当斯一家》女主角生活在恐怖古堡中的怪人We'll be there. 晚上见Yeah, but in costume this time. 好但是要穿戏服来You can't just show up with a backwards baseball cap 这次你不能再像去年那样反戴着棒球帽and call yourself Snoop Dogg like you did last year. 还自称是斯路普·道格[黑人嘻哈歌星]I didn't even know who that guy was. 我压根儿就不知道那人是谁Haley turned my hat around and told me to say it. 是海莉把我帽子反过来还叫我这么说的I thought he was a dog detective. 我以为他是什么寻狗侦探呢Listen, don't worry. We got the whole thing worked out. 听着别担心我们已经准备好了Bye-bye. 拜拜- Hola, Jay! - Where are you? -哈啰杰 -你在哪儿I have Manny in the carpool, 我捎了曼尼和他同学一程and we're going to the dropout. 偶们就快到"辍学区"了Dropout? You mean that Eddie kid? 辍学? 你是说那个叫埃迪的小孩吗Yeah, he's a moron. 他确实傻逼兮兮的No, the dropout, 不是啦where you drop the kids in the school. 就是学校里让孩子们下车的地儿She means "Drop-off." 她意思是"下客区"That's what I said. 偶就是这么说滴呀Listen, did you ever do anything about costumes 听着你准备好今晚for Claire's thing tonight? 克莱尔那活动要穿的了吗I'm going to pick them up this afternoon. 偶下午就去取You're going to be a "Gargle," 你扮成"夜龙"and I'm gonna be an evil village bruja. 偶扮成邪恶村庄布鲁哈I know less now than I did before I asked. 你越说我越糊涂Hmm. A bruja is a witch, and a gargle is a gargle. 布鲁哈就是巫婆夜龙就是夜龙嘛She means "Gargoyle." 她是在说夜行神龙She means "Gargoyle." [美国著名漫画中的角色]That's what I said. 我就是这么说的As long as you got it covered. 你有所准备就好Because if Claire doesn't get her Halloween, 要是达不到克莱尔想要的效果she turns into a real "Rhymes with 'bruja.'" 她就会变成现实版的巫婆Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm the only one. 哦不就我一个穿了At lunch, I'll let you wear my fangs. 吃午饭的时候我会让你戴我的獠牙的Look at those tools. 看看这些傻子Every year. What a couple of douches. 每年都这样真是一对蠢蛋Ohh. Oh, no. 噢不Hello? 喂There are exactly three people in costume here - 只有三个人穿着戏服A tool, a douche, and me. 一个傻瓜一个蠢蛋还有一个我And I don't have time to go home and change and - 可我现在没有时间回家来换衣服了Calm down. 冷静Did you bring in the dry-cleaning from last night? 你带了昨天要送去干洗的衣服了吗Are you really getting on me about the dry-cleaning wh- 你是不是想用这个来惹我生气Oh. I have suits in the trunk. 噢对了后备箱里有套西装Look at that. Yesterday's lazy cures today'crazy. 看吧懒人有懒福Yes. Thank you! Thank you. 好样的感谢上帝Okay. 这就去换Oh, there you are. 噢终于找到你了Hey, I need you in the Lampkin meeting. 我需要你去开兰普金的会-If I could just maybe have -Five minutes. -等不能等我先... -只要5分钟O-kay. 好吧-Okay, hey. First legal question. -Yeah? -问你个法律问题 -什么Can I fire those idiots for no reason? 我能平白无故地炒了这俩笨蛋吗Oh, my gosh. 上帝啊-Those are some major guns you got there. -Eh, yeah. -你手臂可真壮实 -额是的Why won't this... 这东西怎么...Hey, Jerry. 嗨杰瑞Hey, Phil. Looking good. 嗨菲尔装扮得不错Thanks. Wait till you see what we got planned for tonight. 谢谢看到我们今晚的准备你会更吃惊Claire and I are going as corpse bride and groom. 克莱尔和我准备扮成僵尸夫妇As if there's any other kind, am I right? 好像夫妇都是行尸走肉吧-I'm saying marriage kills you. -Judy left me. -我是说婚姻让人好想死哦 -朱蒂把我甩了Oh, my god. 天呐I am so sorry. 真为你遗憾When someone your age dies, 当你的同龄人奔赴黄泉的时候What's the first thing you want to know? 你最想知道什么"Died of what?" Right? 是怎么死的对吧You want to hear it was something 你希望死因是That could never happen to you. 一件永远不会发生在你身上的事Well, it's the same with divorce. 离婚也一样Tell me it was booze, cheating, physical abuse. 如果是因为酗酒出轨虐待No problem. I'm a monogamous social drinker, 没关系我是个酒量一般用情专一的好男人And Claire only sleep-hits me. 克莱尔也只有睡着了偶尔踹我一脚Just don't tell me it came from out of the blue. 别告诉我就那么突然发生了I was totally blindsided. 我完全傻了眼I guess somewhere along the way 我想这一路走来She stopped finding me delightful. 她发现我不再讨人喜欢了Well, that's - that's coconuts. 那完全就是胡扯You're super delightful. 你超级讨人喜欢Not to Judy. 但对朱蒂来说不再是了She used to laugh at everything I had to say, 她以前都会因为我的一举一动而大笑But now I can't even remember what her laugh sounds like.但现在我都记不清她的笑声是什么样的了Claire can do it. It's uncan- 克莱尔会模仿简直惟妙...I should go back inside. 我差不多该回家了I have a dish to wash. 我还有碗要洗Okay, but, hey... 好吧但是Jerry, if you need anything, all right? 杰瑞你有什么需要就来找我I'm your rock. 我是你坚强的后盾You are not gonna believe this. 你一定会觉得难以置信Judy just left Jerry. 朱蒂和杰瑞离婚了Oh, yeah. She was so unhappy. 想想也会她这些日子都过的不开心How's he doing? 他怎么样了He's not taking it as well as you are. 他可不像你这么轻松地就接受了Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I don't mean to be insensitive. 抱歉亲爱的不是我麻木不仁I've just got a lot to get done. 只是我现在太忙了I don't find you insensitive. I find you delightful. 我没有觉得你麻木不仁我觉得你很讨喜Do you find me delightful? 你觉得我讨喜吗Oh, god, I just remembered! 噢天呐我差点忘了Jerry's supposed to be our porch scarecrow. 杰瑞本应扮演我们走廊处的稻草人的Can you ask him if he'll still do it? 你能请他继续来吗He's kind of a mess right now. 他现在心情很糟糕Yeah, but it might make him feel better be around people. 我知道可有人陪着总归比较好I'll try... 我去试试But his whole world just turned upside down. 不过他的世界刚刚天翻地覆Can you imagine? 你能想象有多糟糕吗One minute, you're happily married, 前一分钟还夫妻恩爱The next minute, you're completely by yourself. 下一分钟却劳燕分飞了I don't need excuses. I need this lawsuit to go away. 你们别找借口了我需要撤销这起诉讼Now, who's responsible for the Keith deposition? 谁负责凯瑟的证言uh, well, I was, "Shir." 是我 "先僧"But, uh, in my defense, I "Wash" told 但我要为自己辩解一下有人"告树"我Take those stupid fangs out, Dale. 脱下你那愚蠢的獠牙戴尔For starters, it's daytime. 首先现在是白天Vampires sleep during the day... 吸血鬼白天都在睡大觉which you may soon have plenty of time for. 如果你不幸被炒就可以睡个够了I'm sorry, but I was told that we didn't need Keith. 真抱歉但是有人跟我说我们不需要凯瑟了Who told you that? 谁告诉你的I-I-I may have. I may have done that, sir. 是是是我说的老大Well, that's disappointing. 真令人失望But at least Mitchell's new here. 但是米奇尔初来乍到Twilight, you're not. 暮光哥你是老员工了So get it done. Meeting adjourned. 赶紧去办散会Client's waiting for us in my office. We're already late. 客户还在我办公室等着呢我们要迟到了-Ohh. -Let's roll. -哦 -赶紧走-Ah, you've really been hitting the gym. -Yeah. -啊你健身效果不错啊 -是的What the hell is that noise? 那到底是什么声音Every time I tried to get out of that costume, 每次我想脱掉那戏服的时候I got dragged into another meeting. 就有人拉我去开会It was the worst Halloween ever. 简直是有史以来最糗的万圣节Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever? 是吗米奇尔真的是最糗的吗You had squeaky thighs. 你不过只是大腿咯吱作响I lost a childhood. 我的童年却毁于一旦Jay! This came for you. 杰有你的包裹Oh. Hi, honey. What is it? 哦亲爱的是什么呢I called your secretary and told her 我打电话叫你的秘书to order you some crackers 订了一些薄脆饼干and those cheeses that you like - 还有你喜欢的奶酪the tiny, little ones. 就是小小的那种Thanks. Did you pick up my "Gargle" Costume, too? 谢谢你取回我的"夜龙"戏服了嘛-Are you making fun of me? -No. -你在取笑我吗 -没有啊First, Manny correcting me. And now you? 先是曼尼纠正我发音现在又轮到你If I have a problem, I want to know, Jay. 要是我有问题杰我愿意洗耳恭听Honey, look, English is your second language. 听着亲爱的英语是你的第二语言You're doing great. 你已经说得很好了Yeah, you're not helping by protecting my feelings. 你这样估计我滴感受不利于我滴进步I want you to be honest with me. 我要你实话实说Okay, well, I may have noticed some tiny, little mistakes 好吧我察觉到了一些微不足道的错误you might want to take a look at. 你可能要注意一下-Like what? -Just little mispronunciations. Like, for example -比如说 -就是一些发音错误比如说Last night, you said, "We live in a doggy-dog world." 昨晚你说 "我们住在狗狗的世界里"-So? -Well, it's "Dog-eat-dog world." -怎么了 -实际上应该是"狗咬狗的世界"Yeah, but... 是啊但是that doesn't make any sense. 这根本说不通啊Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? 谁想生活在一个狗互吃的世界啊A doggy-dog world is a beautiful world 狗狗的世界是漂亮滴世界full of little puppies! 狗狗到处都是What else do I say wrong? 我还说错什么了Well, it's not "Blessings in the skies." 还有不是"天上来的祝福"It's "Blessings in disguise." 而是"因祸得福"What else? 还有呢"Carpal tunnel syndrome" 是"腕管综合症"is not "Carpool tunnel syndrome." 不是"拼车管综合症"And what else? 还有呢It's not "Volumptuous." "型感的"也不对Okay, enough. I know that I have an accent. 好了对了我知道我口音很重But people understand me just fine! 但是大家都能听懂What the hell is this? 这到底是啥I told you, Jay, I called your secretary 我跟你说了杰我打电话给你的秘书and told her to order you a box of baby cheeses. 叫她给你订一盒小奶酪and told her to order you a box of baby cheeses. 歌洛莉亚把cheeses(奶酪)读成了Jesus(耶稣) Oh, so now that is my fault too. 哦这次又是我滴错了Oh, yeah, can you tell Claire 好吧能否转达克莱尔that I'm not really up for being the scarecrow? 我不大想来扮演稻草人Judy and I used to love Halloween. 我和朱蒂以前很爱万圣节It's her favorite holiday. 这是她最喜欢的节日-Huh. -You know? -啊哈 -你懂吧Gosh, I hate to think of you sitting in there alone, 天啊想到你一个人坐在家里胡思乱想running through all this in your head. 我就觉得于心不忍What could you have done differently? 你表现得再好也于事无补啊What could you have done differently? 你表现得再好也于事无补啊It's actually a little hard for me to talk about. 我真的觉得难以启齿Don't push me away. I'm not Judy. 别对我紧闭心扉嘛人家又不是朱蒂I could've been more spontaneous. 我要是再随意自然一些就好了I-I-I could've tried to have been more fun and sexy 我要是能更加幽默性感就好了like I was in the old days. 就像过去一样Spontaneous and sexy. I got it. Yep. 随意自然性感诱惑我懂了懂了And remember, I'm here for you, okay? 记住了有事随时找我好吗Ohh! Son of a... 哦哦哦我擦What the hell is that?! 你穿的是啥What? You told me to put on an old costume. 怎么了你叫我穿以前的戏服Not from when you were 8. 你也不能穿8岁那套啊Are you trying to get candy or Japanese businessmen? 你是想别人给你糖果还是要吸引日本怪叔叔Change it. Go. 换了快去Jerry is a no-go on the crow. 杰瑞不能扮演稻草人了You've been over there this whole time? 你在他那儿待了这么久吗Yeah, he was venting. I couldn't break free. 对啊他一直倾诉我不忍心丢下他一个人God... 老天You are sexy. 你真是秀色可餐Honey... 亲爱的Not so fast. I don't think we're done here, my darling. 别啊还没完呢亲爱的It's okay. I need to get down. 别闹了我要下来Oh, we can get down. We can get way down. 噢要下面吗我可以一直往下哦Oh, god! 天啊Phil! 菲尔No! No, no, no, no, no! No! 别不要不要不要Okay. 好吧Oh, no. 不会吧No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. 别别别别好吧Okay. Focus, Mitchell. Focus. Focus. 好吧淡定米奇尔淡定淡定Hello? 喂I'm trapped in a men's room, 我困在男厕所了And all I have on is the spider-man suit. 身上唯一的衣服就是蜘蛛侠装了Hot. Who is this? 真够火辣的请问你是哪位Somebody took my shirt, and all the rest 有人把我衬衣拿走了我剩下的衣服of my clothes are all "Toilety." 都浸在坐便池里了I'm screwed. 我完蛋了Why don't you just tell Charlie the truth? 你干嘛不跟查理实话实说呢I can't. I already messed up once today. 我不能我今天已经搞砸一次了And I can't risk it. 我可不能冒这个险I-I have another suit in my trunk, 我后备箱里还有一套西装But I can't get to the car without going through the office. 但我要到达停车位就必须穿过办公室You know what's ironic? 你知道最讽刺的是什么吗Who could really help you right now 现在真正能帮你的is spider-man. 就是蜘蛛侠了He's here. 蜘蛛侠来也！Okay. Okay. Okay. 好了好了好了No. 不No, no, no, no, no, no. 别叫别叫别叫别叫No, no, no. 别叫别叫别叫Um, o-okay. Okay. 好吧好吧Behold, my creation. 看啊我的子民Monster, do my bidding! 怪物听我指挥I do as you command, master. 谨遵命令主人Okay. Mom. 好了老妈You cannot have a problem with this. 千万别再不满意这件了I'm mother Teresa. 我是特雷莎修女Are you kidding me? 你开什么玩笑What? I'm her back when she was hot. 怎么了我是她热辣版的复活造型I will pay you $10 to go put on more clothes. 你要再多穿点的话我会给你10美元Bet it's the first time you ever heard that one. 此等待遇可是头一次哦Okay. You know what? Here. Here we go. 好吧知道吗这儿披上这个Let's just cover you up. 来帮你遮上点All right, now, I just want to run through this, 好了我想赶紧彩排一下really quick with everybody. 大家都快一点Um, first, it's "Trick or treat?" 首先是不给糖就捣蛋And then, Phil... 然后菲尔- "Come in if you dare." - Right, and then dad does -有种就进来 -没错然后老爸就the thunder and the lightning and the fog. 弄出电闪雷鸣的效果还要放雾Usher the children in past Alex in her cage. 指导孩子们进来经过装着艾丽克斯的笼子- I'm in a cage? - Yes! -我被关在笼子里吗 -是的You're in a house of horrors being held against your will. 你被强行关押在一个鬼屋里Yeah,I know, so why do we need the cage? 我知道但要笼子干嘛And then Gloria pops up 接着歌洛莉亚突然出现as the evil village bruja, and she says, 就像乡村恶巫婆一样然后她说"Welcome to your nightmare. 欢迎来到你的噩梦之境Ah ha ha ha ha!" 哈哈哈哈and the Cam and Haley do their thing. 然后小卡和海莉负责他们的部分Kids get their candy. They are ushered out. 小孩负责发糖领他们出去They think it's all over, but it's not! 他们以后到此为止了其实还没有Because out on the porch, 因为在外面的走廊上the scarecrow pops to life. 稻草人会突然跳出来Wow! For one final "Aah!" 然后就听到他们最后的一声惨叫And that's - Mitchell, you're the srecrow! 米奇尔你扮演稻草人Oh, no, no. 不要不要I was in a costume all day. It was awful. 我穿了一天的戏服好想死啊It's nothing compared to when I was 这跟我当年根本没法比- You don't own bad halloweens. - Don't I? -你没经历过糟糕的万圣节 -我没有We get it, Cam. Hard day. 我们懂的小卡伤心往事Mitchell, please. The costume's in the kitchen. 米奇尔拜托了戏服就在厨房里Come on. 快点来嘛All right, Claire, Claire. 好了克莱尔克莱尔Before you go, I just want you to know... 在你离开我之前我只想让你知道Okay. The wig. That, that's... 好的我的假发快掉了I love you more... 我爱你胜过That's nice. Thanks, honey. 嘴真甜谢谢你亲爱的You're my best friend! 你是我最好的朋友- Hey, guys. - Hey. -大家好啊 -你来啦Wow. God, you guys look great. 天啊你们俩看起来好极了Thank you, Phil. I try my best. 谢谢你菲尔我尽力了You look very dead-like. 你看起来非常像死人Gloria, stop it. I said I was sorry. 歌洛莉亚别说了我说过对不起了Oh, no, no, Jay. 不不杰For now on, I only speak in proper american, 从现在起我只说标准美式英语so I don't embarrass you. 这样我就不会使你丢人了Did she just get back from the dentist? 她刚看完牙回来吗She's mad at me because I told her 她在跟我发脾气因为我跟她说sometimes people can't understand her. 有时候别人听不懂她在说什么Make it right, Jay. 赶紧去弥补一下吧杰We're all just hanging by a thread. 咱俩现在都岌岌可危了Hey! Dad! Oh, you look great! 老爸你看起来棒极了Oh, good. Okay, Gloria's in position. 不错好了歌洛莉亚已经就位了Hi, Gloria. There you go. 你好歌洛莉亚就是这样Right back here. 你就呆这儿Claire, I don't know that I'm - I'm feeling up to this. 克莱尔我不知道自己能否胜任这活Why, Cam? Why? 为什么小卡为什么呢What happened that is so awful 到底发生了什么事you simultaneously can't speak of it 糟糕到你都不敢告诉我们and yet can't stop talking about it? 同时却又不住地提起呢I can't. It's too emotional. 说不出口太伤感了Okay. Some other time. 好吧那下次吧- I was 10. - Oh, god. -我那时十岁 -天啊Dressed as Quasimodo on a front porch 跟我的好朋友迪米·瑞格纳一起with my best friend, Timmy Reglar, a ghostbuster. 他扮捉鬼人我扮敲钟人[巴黎圣母院] There was a bucket of candy with a sign. 门廊上有一篮糖果里面还有一张纸条- It said "Take one." - One. -上面写着"拿一颗" -一颗Timmy took the entire bucket and put it in his bag. 迪米把整篮糖都拿走放到了包里Timmy didn't play by the rules. 迪米不守规矩It's what I liked and feared about him. 这正是我对他又爱又怕的地方Then the bag broke as a crowd of kids 然后包破了正好一群小孩走过来rounded the corner, saw the pile of candy. 看到了地上掉的一堆糖Timmy said, "Cam did it!" 迪米说是小卡拿的- Trick or treat? - Oh, good. -不给糖就捣蛋 -太好了Aren't you glad yo got that out? 讲出来舒服多了吧Okay, everybody, our first victims! 好了大伙这是我们第一批受害者This is not a rehearsal. You ready? You ready? 这可不是彩排咯准备好了吗- Yes. Yes. - Okay. -好了好了 -那就好Come in...if you dare. 有种的话就进来吧Dad. 爸Huh? Oh. L-let me see. 等一下Thank you for joining us on our sp- 谢谢你们来参加No, no, no. First the thunder and the lightning! 不不先要有雷鸣闪电Yeah, right. I got it. 好的就来Perfect. 要命了Thank you for joining us... 谢谢你们on our special night. 参与我们的特别之夜Other children haven't fared so well. 其他小孩的下场可不怎么样Welcome to your nightmare. Ha ha ha ha! 欢迎来到你们的噩梦What the hell is that? 那是怎么回事Can, uh -- can we just get our candy? 能不能直接把糖给我们OK, but beware of the fog, 好的但是小心有雾for you may not be able to see... 因为你们可能看不清前"ahead." 头Boop. Timmy started running. 然后迪米就开始跑I wanted to run too, 我也想跑的but my hunch got stuck on a rose bush 可是我的肥肉被玫瑰花丛缠住了and that's when I fell. 所以我就摔倒了I fell hard. 狠狠地摔了一跤I can see his feet. 我看得到他的脚Okay. Here, children, have some candy. 好吧给孩子们拿点糖Happy Halloween. 万圣节快乐Ok. That was bad. That was a bad start. 好吧刚才真烂开局不利Er... First of all, dad, thunder, lightening, fog cue. 首先爸雷鸣闪电然后放雾And we skip Alex all together. 然后我们一起转向艾丽克斯And...Gloria, since when do you speak English? 歌洛莉亚你什么时候开始说英语了Oh, so now you have a problem with the way I speak? 你现在也开始不爽我的口音了Like father like daughter. In this dog-eat-dog family. 有其父必有其女真是个狗咬狗的家庭Trick or treat? 不给糖就捣乱Okay. Places, places. 好了各就各位各就各位Good, Mitchell's gone. 很好米奇尔也不见了Honey, I love you so much! 亲爱的我好爱你Not now, not now. 不是时候不是时候Come in...if you dare. 有种的话就进来吧- Dad. Dad. - What? Oh, right, right. -爸爸 -什么对了对了- Phil, it's you. - No, dad, fog, fog. -菲尔到你了 -不对爸雾Thank you for joining us... 感谢你们来参加on our special night. 我们的特别之夜Other children haven't fared so well. 其他小孩的下场可不怎么样Oh, help me, help me. 救救我救救我Welcome to your nightmare. Ha ha ha ha. 欢迎来到你们的噩梦Now your treats are over here 你们的糖在这里but with all the fog 但是雾这么大you may not be able to see 你们可能看不清前"ahead". 头And everyone was screaming 然后大家都在喊"That's him! Get Quasimodo!" 就是他抓住敲钟人And then the townspeople started chasing me! 于是镇里人就开始追我And that's when I wet my pants! 然后我就尿裤子了I wet my pants! I wet my pants. 我尿裤子了我尿裤子了This place is weird. Let's go. 这地方好诡异我们走Mother of god. 圣母玛利亚Ohh! Son of a... 混账东西What is wrong with everyone?! 你们到底是怎么回事Cam, "townspeople"? Really? 小卡 "镇里人" 你在说什么I lived on a farm. They lived in town. 我住在农场他们住在镇里They were the townspeople. 他们就是镇里人And, dad! Dad! 还有爸爸It goes -- lightning, thunder, fog cue! 应该是闪电雷鸣放雾This whole thing is a colossal fog cue. 这整件事就够雾蒙蒙的了Claire just doesn't understand, Cam. 克莱尔不会明白的小卡Maybe she's never been picked on for being different. 也许她从来没有因与众不同而被欺负When, Gloria? 你有吗歌洛莉亚When have you ever been picked on 你什么时候因为for "being different"? "与众不同"而被欺负过Ask the "Gargle." 问问"夜龙"就知道了What did she say? 她在说什么Gloria! 歌洛莉亚I think she went insane. 我觉得她疯了She's not insane. She's my mother. 她没疯她是我妈I'm your mother now! 我现在才是你妈Gloria... 歌洛莉亚I want to tell you a story... 我想给你讲个故事about a guy eating in a diner, alone. 一个男人独自在餐厅吃饭Behind him he hears a woman talking. 他听到身后有一个女人在讲话He doesn't turn around, 5 minutes, 10 minutes. 他一直没有转过身来五分钟过了十分钟过了Just listening to the woman, 他只是静静地聆听着那位女士the life in her voice. 听她声音中的生命力And before he even sees her 他还未与她谋面He realizes he's fallen in love. 就爱她爱得无法自拔Now, I'll give you a guess who that guy is. 现在我想让你猜猜那个男人是谁Aw, my dad was -- 我爸好Oh, my god! 我的天啊You know what? I'm just gonna go. 你知道吗我打算现在就走了No. Come on, Cam. 别啊小卡别这样Uh, if uncle Cam is leaving, 要是小卡舅夫要走I'm just gonna go upstairs and study. 那我也要回楼上读书去了Yeah, I have a party to go to, so... 我还要去赶个派对所以Ohh! She punched me in the face! 她往我脸上挥了一拳He came out of nowhere, and he scared 他不知从哪里突然冒出来the baby "cheeses" out of me! 把老娘吓的魂都没了Hey, you're talking normal again. 你开始像平常一样的说话了Oh, I loved the story about the old man. 我好爱那个老男人的故事Well, nobody said "old". 我可没说"老"这个字- Oh, Cam, can we please just go? - Yes. -小卡我们可以走了吗 -可以Yeah, go, please. I don't care. 好求你们了都走吧我才不在乎呢Oh, Claire. 克莱尔No, no. 没事没事I'm done. I'm done. 都完了到此为止吧I'm not done. So not done. Look, here's the thing. 还没我压根就还没说完呢你们自己想想We - we have reworks at Christmas now 我们我们现在圣诞节放烟火because that's what they do in Colombia, and I don't mind. 因为那是哥伦比亚人的过节方式我能接受。

-亲爱的好好享受比赛哦 -谢谢 - Oh, hey, honey. Have a great time at the game. - Thanks.什么在响 Oh. Why are you crunching?通常我是守规矩的人 Ordinarily, I'm a rule follower,但是如果有人不准我 but when someone tells me I can't bring自带零食进体育馆 my own snacks into their stadium,我就要生气[坚果]了 that's when I get a little nuts.这是个自由的国家不是吗 It's a free country, right?这么说吧让我不爽[薯片]的是 Let's just say it ruffles me...某些蠢货[花生]叫我 when some goobers tell me...在发薪日[糖]花上半天 I have to spend half my payday...在他们的热狗上 on their hot dogs.记得回来照全家福 Please, just remember the family portrait.-摄影师只有一个小时时间 -好吧 - We only have the photographer for an hour. Okay? - Okay.亲爱的要不要去试试 And, sweetie, did you have a chance to我放在你衣橱里面的白裤子 try on the white pants I put in your closet?哦长什么样的 Oh, what do they look like?白裤子还能长什么样 Is there really a more clear way to describe white pants?亲爱的如果不合适 Sweetie, if they don't fit you,你就是全家唯一没穿白裤子的人了 you're going to be the only one not wearing white, 然后你就像"沃尔多在哪里"一样明显扎眼 and then you're gonna stand out like "Where's Waldo?"实际上沃尔多在哪里不会明显扎眼 Actually, "Where's Waldo?" doesn't stand out. 你很难找到他那正是游戏乐趣所在 He's super hard to find. That's the challenge. 此次全家福对我来说很重要 This portrait is incredibly important to me.而且他就叫沃尔多没有"在哪里" Also, his name is just "Waldo."我花了好几周时间才选到 I spent weeks trying to find一个每个人都有空的时间 a time that works for everybody...还有合适的摄影师 and finding the right photographer.你向我保证会乖乖合作好吗 So if you could just promise me that you'll cooperate, okay?-我保证 -好吧 - I promise. -Okay.-你想得真周到 -谢谢 - This is amazing that you're doing this. - Mmm, thank you. -你太棒了 -谢谢 - You're wonderful. - Thank you.过来 Get in here-哎呀使不得 -哦 - Oh, no can do. - Oh.-我爱你 -拜拜 - I love you. - Bye.我的好内裤哪去了 Where's my good underwear?问题应该是 The question is,为什么你还有烂内裤杰 why isn't all your underwear good, Jay?你赚钱那么多 You make a nice living.新来的佣人老是把我的内裤和曼尼的弄混 The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear withManny's.有一次我随便抓了一条 Put on the first thing I grabbed.紧得跟止血带一样 It was like a crotch tourniquet.-你得跟她说啊 -为什么让我说 - You gotta talk to her. - Why me?喂你们说一样的语言 Hola. You both speak the same language.她是葡萄牙人你知不知道 She's Portuguese. Do you know how offensive it is...把我们混为一类人是很不礼貌的 that you put all of us in the same mixing pot?抱歉请代我给她道个歉还告诉她 Sorry. Please apologize to her when you tell her not to-不要把我的内裤 -我们语言不通 - put my underwear- - I can't talk to her!-卢克呢 -我代替他去 - Where's Luke? - I'm going instead.卢克有个家庭作业明天就要交了Luke suddenly remembered a school project due tomorrow.噢太不幸了 Oh, that's tough.但是这对他可能是不错的一课 But it's a good lesson for the kid.你作了承诺 You know, you make a commitment,-你得要兑现 -对 - you gotta follow through. - Yeah.是什么作业 What is the project?他要采访一个曾经生活在60年代的人 He has to interview somebody who lived through the 1960s.不会吧 Oh, no.喂 Hello.是啊卢克 Yeah, Luke.当然我记得我承诺过什么 Oh, sure. I remember what I said.过来吧好 Yeah, come on over. All right.歌洛莉亚你得带曼尼去看比赛 Gloria, you're gonna have to take Manny to the game. 好耶曼尼快点 Yay. Manny, vamos!我还在穿衣服呢 I'm still getting dressed.妈我觉得我减肥有效果了 Hey, Mom, I think my diet's working.我内裤都松了 My underwear won't stay up.摩登家庭第一季第二十四集好吃来 Oh, so delicious. Yes.今天不和你去没关系吧 Hey, you're okay with me not going with you today, right? 有人请我周末去婚礼献唱 I have been hired to sing at a wedding this weekend.我在一次精彩的卡拉OK I was plucked from obscurity演出后被别人选中了 after a particularly stirring karaoke performance.所以说呢我也算是专业歌手了 So I guess you could say I'm a professional singer now. 他们是以花代钱付给你的所以呢 Well, they're paying you in flowers, so-反正就算他们给钱我也会拿去买花的 Well, I would've blown the money on flowers anyway.他们倒是省了我的麻烦 They're saving me a step.再说所有的歌后都有人献花 Plus all the great divas are rewarded in flowers.然后还有支票 They're also given paychecks.我不大擅长闲聊所以呢 And I'm really bad at small talk, so-我懂了没什么问题 I get it. It's not a problem.是吗我看你一早上没说话 Are you sure? 'Cause you've been quiet all morning.因为我得酝酿一下我的嗓子 It's because I'm resting my instrument.好吧 Okay.我看他是压力巨大 I feel tension.科比科比这边 Kobe! Kobe, over here!科比科比这边 Kobe! Kobe! Over here!需要帮忙吗 What can I do for you?你喜欢当篮球运动员吗 Do you like being a basketball player?不是吧你 Serious?我紧张了我没想到你会往这边看 I choked. I didn't think you'd look up here at me. 那下次准备下 Little preparation next time.用用脑子好好想哦 It's a mental game.懂了 Duly noted.-好 -湖人队入场 - All right. - Your Los Angeles Lakers!-怎么了 -楼梯坏了 - What's wrong? - That broken step.全家福会因此被毁的 It's gonna ruin our whole family portrait.我是这样想的我兴奋得不得了 Okay, here's my idea. I'm really excited about it. 全家人都穿白色 The whole extended family, all dressed in white,一字从上到下排开 in a single-file line down the staircase.就像高速公路的汽车 Oh, like a line on the highway.不是 No.那跳台滑雪 Or, uh, a ski jump.也不是 No.我搞跳台滑雪干嘛 Why- Why would I want a ski jump?不知道 I don't know.我是想一家人在一张大床上 My idea was to have the whole family in a giant bed,就像威利·旺卡一样 like in Willy Wonka.那简直太"可笑"了 Yeah, but that's ridiculous.应该是"可口" "Ridiculicious."我什么都没看到 I don't see anything.所以是我疯了吗 So I'm crazy?不你没有 No. You're... not.你爸早该把这个楼梯修好的 Your father was supposed to fix that step.妈你对这些小细节太挑剔了 Mom, you're obsessing over the tiniest little thing- 这么说你也看到了 So you do see it, yeah.不就照张相嘛有什么大不了的 What is the big deal about this one picture?亲爱的我跟你说 Honey, you know what,我不指望你能理解但是 I don't expect you to understand, but-这样等你以后当妈了 All right, when you're a mom,会感到时光如白驹过隙 everything goes by so quickly.要不了多久卢克就开始刮胡子了 In a minute, Luke's gonna be shaving,艾丽克斯去上大学你呢 and Alex is gonna be off at college, and you're gonna be- 你会做一些了不起的事情 you'll be doing something great.我就是想时间定格在这一刻 I just wanna freeze this moment as it is right now.-能理解吧 -能 - You know? - I do.我知道我平时松松垮垮 I know I don't show it,但是这个家庭对我来说很重 but this family's still the most important thing-管它呢 Screw it.我亲自来修 I'm gonna fix the bastard.我倒要看看有多难 I mean, seriously, how hard can it be?你老爸能行那我也能行对吧 If your father can do it, I can do it. Right?好吧 All right.我只需要 I just need to...抬起来- lift-现在我看见了 Oh, now I see it.我们的位置真棒 These seats are amazing.你口袋里怎么有糖漏出来 Why you have candy coming out of your pocket?不是不是不是 No, no, no, no, no.-什么 -我自己带了零食 - Huh? - I brought my own snacks.不是我小气这是原则问题 Not because I'm cheap. It's a matter of principle.再说冒着被人发现的危险其实挺刺激的 Plus I get a little rush from the danger.淡定装酷 Be cool. Be cool.-什么 -淡定看前面 - What? - Be cool. Just look straight ahead.我感觉好极了哦吼 I never felt more alive. Whoo!我越搞越糟糕但我没有惊惶失措 Okay, I just made it worse. I'm not freaking out though.我打电话给你爸问他怎么修 I'm gonna call your dad, and he's gonna tell me how to fix this.-天啊是老爸 -哪儿 - Oh, my God! It's Dad. - Where?那里科比的后面 Right there, behind Kobe.-天啊 -真是太少见了 - Oh, my god! - How weird is this!快点快点想一件事情来吓他 Quick. Quick, tell me something to say that will freak him out.-说我怀孕了 -不那个可不能乱说 - Tell him I'm pregnant. - No, not gonna say that. 响了响了真是太有趣了 Okay, here we go. How funny is this!你好我是菲尔有事请留言 Hey, it's Phil. You know what to do.真是"有趣"呀 Well, that was pretty funny.天啊 Oh, my God!天啊 Oh, my God.天啊天啊天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.天啊天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.天啊天啊天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.天啊噢 Oh, my God. Oh.好多了失陪一下 It's much better. Excuse me. Sorry.喂 Hello?家里进来一只鸽子 There is a pigeon in our house.怎么办怎么办 What do I do? What do I do?你谁呢 Who is this?-不搞笑一点都不搞笑 -冷静 - Never funny. Not funny now. - Calm down.我从小就是在动物的陪伴下长大的 You know I grew up around many animals.有一次一只公鸡袭击我 One time, a rooster attacked me,我妈把它脖子拧了然后晚上就吃鸡 and my mom wrung its neck, and we had it for dinner. 你真会挑时间讲故事速回来救我 Great time for an anecdote. Help me.其实它更怕你 It's more afraid of you than you are of it.鸽子什么都不怕 Pigeons aren't scared of anything.电线他们都敢站 They stand on electrical wires.你会没事的米奇尔只要你不 You're gonna be fine, Mitchell. Just as long as you don't-那个他们要开始了 You know what, they're starting.我得挂了拜拜 I gotta go. Okay, bye.只要我不怎么小卡 As long as I don't what? Cam?只要我不怎么我的个娘亲 As long as I don't- Oh, God!酷接吻镜头来了 Cool. The kiss cam.如果镜头圈到了我们 Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the camera-会不会很尴尬 -我们是亲戚 - was on us and then the crowd started- - We're related. 但没有血缘关系 Not by blood.你敢碰我就让你"血溅当场" Touch me and there will be blood.-我们不行 -你怎么了 - Not us. - What's wrong with you?是接吻镜头 It's the kiss cam.要是圈到我们我们就得接吻 When it lands on you, you're supposed to kiss.她是我岳父的二婚妻子 This is my wife's dad's second wife.法律上没问题但是很怪异 So legally okay, but still weird.太尴尬了 That was awkward.又是我们 And we're back.来吧又没什么大不了的 Oh. Ay! Come on. It's not a big deal.多亏了来电显示 Thank God for caller I.D.于是你不想接你老婆电话就可以挂掉 So you don't have to talk to your wife.看我回来收拾你 Oh, we're gonna talk, mister.我会慢慢慢慢说死你 We're gonna talk and talk.老爸妈妈在电视上看到你了你死定了 Dad, Mom saw you on TV. You're dead.是这样的接吻镜头应该只针对 Here's the thing. The kiss cam is only supposed to be... 现场观众娱乐一下的 for the enjoyment of the people at the game.电视上根本不该播 They never show that on TV.人们在自己的比赛场上做什么 What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena... 是他们的自由 should be their own business.66年的时候我在我爷爷的办公品公司打工 So in '66, I worked in my grandfather's office supply business-就是墨水啊订书钉啊纸张之类的 you know, your ink, your staples, your legal pads. 我说得太快了吗 Am I going too fast for you?我听得都睡着了 I fell asleep for a second.你在60年代就没做过有意思的事吗 Did you do anything interesting in the '60s?有一个夏天 Well, one summer,我在姥爷的理发店里帮忙扫头发 I swept up hair at my other grandfather's barbershop. -别折磨我了 -你想要什么样的故事 - You're killing me. - What do you want?我也不确定 I don't know.布莱恩·贝壳维斯的爷爷当年在华盛顿游行过呢 Brian Beckwith's grandfather marched on Washington.阿蒂·贝壳维斯吗 Artie Beckwith?那个整天啰里吧嗦怨天尤人的怂货 He couldn't walk two feet without complaining. 他去华盛顿游行过 He marched on Washington?他是这样告诉布莱恩的 He told Brian he did.跟马丁·路德·金一起 With Martin Luther King Jr.马丁·路德·金 Martin Luther King?-你以为他的理发师是谁 -什么 - Guess who cut his hair. - What?你知道马丁·路德·金的理发师是谁吗 Do you know who cut Martin Luther King Jr.'s hair?卢克的老师怕是也不知道 Neither does Luke's teacher.-所以理发店是在华盛顿啊 -是的 - So the barbershop was in Washington? - Okay.-你还为其他名人理过发吗 -那当然 - Did you cut any other famous hair? - Oh, yeah. 肯尼迪家族理查德·尼克松各位宇航员 The Kennedys, Richard Nixon, all the astronauts.你以为巴斯·奥尔德的外号是哪来的 How do you think Buzz Aldrin got his nickname?酷毙了 Awesome.*莉莉的屋里最好玩* *We love to play in Lily's room**要不要牛奶无所谓* *We don't need any milk*好了莉莉你老爸是铁血真汉子 Okay, you know what, Lily? I am a man.爸这就去厨房给你拿牛奶 I am going into the kitchen to get your milk.*万福玛利亚* *Ave Maria**满被圣宠者* *Gratia plena**玛利亚满被圣宠者* *Maria, gratia plena**玛利亚满被圣宠者* *Maria, gratia plena**圣洁的天主* *Ave, ave dominus**主与尔偕焉* *Dominus tecum**女中尔为赞美* *Benedicta tu in mulieribus**尔胎子耶稣* *Et benedictus fructus ventris**并为赞美* *Ventris tui, Jesus**万福玛利亚* *Ave Maria*有一次威尔特·张伯伦来光顾了 Then one day, Wilt Chamberlain shows up.他说"你能帮忙修下我朋友的头发吗" He says, "Can you take a little off the top for myfriend here?"-竟然是猫王艾维斯 -不是吧 - And it's Elvis. - No way.他是世上最了不起的歌手除了西纳特拉 Greatest singer that ever lived, after Sinatra.谁敢反驳我就跟他急 I'll fight any man who says different.我老爸说最棒的歌手是彼柏·布莱森 My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.那我只好找你老爸算算账了 Then I guess I gotta fight your dad.是吧 Yeah, I guess.卢克说外公要找你算账 Luke says Grandpa wants to fight you.干嘛什么都跟我过不去 Why does everything have to suck?我们还是改天照相吧 Let's just do the picture another day.我脸上马上要冒痘痘了 I think I'm getting a pimple.不行 No.你知道我多辛苦才约到那位摄影师吗 Do you know how long it took me to book this photographer?在壁炉那里照怎么样 Maybe by the fireplace.行啊旧时代的老人都喜欢在那儿画塑像 Yeah. That's a classic old-person spot for a portrait.拉倒吧墙的颜色太恶心了 Yeah, if I'd ever bothered to paint that hideous wall. 克莱尔是个完美主义者这有时候是好事 Claire is a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing,比如选个绝代老公什么的 like when it comes to picking a husband.有时候就不太好了 Sometimes it's a bad thing,比如大家都觉得某样东西很不错 like when everyone else sees something beautiful... 而她的眼里就只有那些丁点大的瑕疵 and all she sees is the teeny-tiny flaw.不行坚决不行 No. No.不行 No.喂我的房子遭殃了 Hi. My house is a disaster.能在你那里拍照吗 Can we do this picture at your place?这个怕是不太可能了 Yeah, that's- that's not gonna work.所以 So-再缠一圈吧粘紧点用点力 Maybe one more layer. And tight, really tight.-爸能再催催他们吗 -刚打过了 - Dad, can you call them again? - I just did.他们在路上了比赛打进加时赛了 They're on their way. Game went into overtime.我知道但是太阳都快落山了 I know, but we're losing the light,而且摄影师 and the photographer's10分钟后还要去个犹太男孩成人仪式 gotta get to a bar mitzvah in 10 minutes.红酒现在你不是吧 Oh, red wine. Really? Now?亲爱的 You know, honey,我觉得你有点太神经质了 I think you're getting a little too uptight about this. -我呼吸困难了 -你没事的 - It's hard to breathe. - Oh, you're fine.你把他怎么了他脸都绿了 What'd you do to him? He's turning blue.只要他的衣服是白色的就行 But his clothes will stay white.-我们回来咯 -谢天谢地 - We're home! - Oh, thank God.曼尼我们换衣服去 Manny, let's go change.嘿又看见我美丽的贤妻了 Hey, there's my beautiful wife.我知道你生我的气 I know you're mad at me,我也知道这泡沫手指无法弥补我的过错 and I know this foam finger can't make up for everything.亲爱的你赶紧换衣服 Honey, you just go change,那事儿我们回头再说 and we'll talk about what you did later.嘿谢谢你买票给我们 Hey, thank you so much for those tickets.歌洛莉亚说你们玩得很开心 Gloria tells me you had a real good time.没没我可没有 Not really. No, I didn't.上苍作证我爱你女儿 God, I love your daughter.我到时候再回来 I should- I should come by亲下这台阶修好这台阶 and kiss that step- fix that step.你说的好像我是故意把家里弄得一团糟一样 Oh, you're acting like I wanted to destroy the house.不我只是觉得奇怪 No. I just think it's odd你毁掉的大部分东西 that the majority of things you destroyed...都是我妈送给我们的 were sent to us by my mom.好吧好吧 Okay, okay, okay.也就是说我和那臭脏鸟周旋的时候 So while I'm fighting off that filthy creature, 还会有时间停下来想哎呀真好 I actually stop and say, "Oh, you know what,总算可以借机毁掉那些 here's the opportunity I've always been looking for庸俗不堪的东西了 to destroy our kitschiest objects."庸俗不堪她听到一定会很"开心"的 Kitschiest? Oh, she's gonna love that.其实如果你跟着我去婚礼 If you would've come with me to the wedding,这一切都不会发生了 none of this would have happened.你是真生气了啊 Okay. So you are angry.米奇尔我懂的 Mitchell, I get it.你讨厌扯家常还不喜欢鸟 You're terrified of small talk and birds.你一定很庆幸那小鸽子 You're just lucky that pigeon没缠着你聊天气状况吧 didn't want to chat you up about the weather.-你好杰 -你们也好 - Hello, Jay. - Hello, guys.老天你怎么穿得跟"舞迷"节目的选手似的 Oh, God. Oh, you look like the guy from Dance Fever.多谢夸奖 Thank you.丹尼·特里奥俄亥俄州克里夫兰市 Deney Terrio. Cleveland, Ohio.老爸非要这样吗我不是在夸你 Dad, really? That is not a compliment.所以之前我才让你先穿上试试转过去 That's why I wanted you to try those on earlier. Turn around.今天不能拍照我的痘痘越发明显了 The picture can't happen today. My pimple's getting worse.我可怜的小宝贝你还能站着吗 Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Can you stand?-能 -那就得拍 - Yeah. - Well, then the picture's happening.大家一定会紧盯着我不放的 It's all anybody's gonna see.我看可不一定 I wouldn't be so sure about that.你看见她穿的裙子了吗 Did you get a look at her dress?什么我看她裙子干嘛我爱的是你 What? Why would I look at her dress? I love you. 邓菲太太太阳就快下山了 Uh, Mrs. Dunphy, the sun is setting.好的这就拍 Okay. Yeah, this is happening.大家快来我们出去了 Everybody, come on. Let's go.小心点我下午才给家具刷了漆摆外边呢 Be careful. I stained some furniture out there this afternoon.可不是嘛老爸 Of course you did, Dad.还有什么需要注意的吗 Anything else I need to know about?没准旁边邻居正忙着打彩弹呢 Maybe the neighbors on either side are having a paintball fight.都看好了我那睿智无比的老爹 Now watch this. Dad, in his infinite wisdom,今天给家具刷了漆 stained furniture today.千万别碰着了还没干呢 Don't touch it. It's wet.-快点快点 -别照了亲爱的 - Hurry, hurry. - Put that down, sweetheart.很好很好大家都过来了现在站这边 Okay. Okay, we got it. Now we're gonna go out here.老天啊你在耍我吗 Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?那洒水器怎么关 How do- How do you turn the sprinklers off?又问我当然了就因为我是拉丁人 Ay! Of course! Because I'm Latina,我就该对花园洒水器什么的了如指掌 I'm supposed to know everything about gardening and sprinklers!他们装这东西的时候就你在 You were here when they installed it.是诶控制器在草坪那边 Ay, yeah. The box is across the yard.你是说要跨过这片黄浦江吗 You mean your now-soaking-wet yard?真好彻底歇菜了 That's great. We are screwed.不还没 No, we're not.我们还没出秘密武器呢 We haven't unwrapped our secret weapon yet.拆弹特工--卢克小神童过去 Luke walks over there, Hurt Locker style...关掉开关 flips the switch,嘭或者不嘭水就关了 and boom- or not boom- water off.好男儿志当英雄儿子 Put the "he" in "hero," son.拆弹专家洒水器终结者还差不多 Hurt Locker? It's more like Squirt Locker.不是吧不搞笑吗 Really? That wasn't funny?我真同情你们这群没幽默感的 I actually pity you guys.没空庆祝了都给我停 No time to celebrate! Stop it!-我们时间不多了 -好的大家 - We don't have a lot of time. - All right, everybody. -请小个子的站前面 -先生 - If I can have the little ones down front- - You know what, sir?不介意的话我来吧 If you don't mind, I've got this.大伙都过来吧 Come on, people, let's get out here.海莉艾丽克斯你们给弟弟拆胶带 Haley, Alex, I need you to unwrap your brother. 邓菲一家站这边 All right, I need the Dunphys over on this side.爸爸你站中间 Dad, you're in the middle.米奇尔小卡莉莉站那边 Mitchell, Cam, Lily on this end. Okay.-听我说 -怎么 - Listen. - Uh-huh?亲爱的我错了如果你再次投入我怀抱 Honey, I screwed up, but if ever you're in my arms again--菲尔现在不说这些 -就得现在说 - Phil, not now. - Yes, now.我不想日后看到这张照片时 I don't want to look at this picture...比如我80岁而你早已与世长辞的时候 when I'm 80 years old and you're long dead... 还想到你拍照时心里深藏的怒气 and know that you were angry at me when we took it. 菲尔回头再说行吗 Phil, we'll talk about what you did later.好了大家请看这里 Okay, everybody. Eyes over here.不关我的事是她亲的我 I didn't do anything. She kissed me.什么 What?-谁亲了你 -歌洛莉亚 - Who kissed you? - Gloria.-什么 -是接吻镜头[同音:亲了小卡] - What? - It was the kiss cam.你亲小卡做什么 Why did you kiss Cam?不是我亲了菲尔他说必须那样 No, I kissed Phil. He told me I had to.-不是这样的 -等一下 - No, no. - Okay, hang on a second.这是在你无视 Was this before or after老婆电话之前还是之后 you ignored the phone call from your wife?那个你也看见了 You saw that too?我们就不能先把相照了吗 Could we please just take the damn picture?好了大伙再来一次 Okay. Everybody, one more time.-你知道吗我很生你的气 -我就知道 - Just so you know, I am angry with you. - I knew it!-我靠 -今天对我来说很重要 - Oh, damn it! - It was a big day for me,而他不参加的原因是他不喜欢扯家常 and he didn't want to go because he doesn't like small talk.把你们这些小吵小闹 Would it be terribly inconvenient...推迟那么几分钟就有那么难吗 to just postpone this hissy fit for a few minutes?你知道吗或许我们根本就 Ok, you know what? Maybe some of us don't-不想今天拍照 -多谢 - want to take a picture today. - Thank you.拜托了克莱尔 And please, Claire,别逼米奇尔做他不想做的事 don't try to make Mitchell do something he doesn't wanna do.闭嘴吧小卡 Oh, shut up, Cam.好了别闹了 Okay, stop it! Stop it!大家都听好了我真的好不容易才筹划好 Everyone, listen. This took me forever to put together,所以我真的不在乎 so I don't really care谁亲了谁谁额头上长了痘痘 who kissed who and who's got a pimple on her head... 或者谁穿了超级不得体的裙子 and who is wearing an outrageously inappropriate dress.我们要打起精神假装一切正常 We are gonna get together and act like a normal family...持续十分之一秒就行 for one-tenth of a freaking second,现在就这么办 and we're gonna do it right now.-快点 -别碰我 - Come on, let's go. - Get your hands off of me.就不就不你怎样 No. No. Make me. Make me.太荒唐了你们两个对每件事都那么纠结 Ah, this is ridiculous. You're both uptight about everything.你不想陪他去参加婚礼 You didn't want to go to a wedding with him就因为不愿意和别人聊天是吗 because you didn't want to make small talk?我就是这样认识歌洛莉亚的 That's how I met Gloria.还记得我对你说的第一句话吗 Do you remember the first thing I said to you?记得 "我喜欢巧克力 Yes. "I like chocolate,我喜欢水果但不喜欢两样加在一起" I like fruit, but not together."常青藤高材生你忍不了是吗还有你 You couldn't come up with that, lvy League? And you.你要是不那么完美主义 You would be a lot happier if you weren't就会活得开心得多 so obsessed with everything being perfect.瞧瞧我们一身白什么东西板球队吗 Look at us here all in white. What are we, a cricket team?告诉你吧生活本就不完美克莱尔 News flash. Life is not perfect, Claire.现在都给我冷静下来 Now calm the hell down.好吧老爸很好对你来说当然轻松 Okay, Dad, that's great, and that's really easy for you to say.但你以为是我想这样吗 But do you think I like being like this?并非如此 No, I don't.所以如果你有什么良方 So if you have some quick-and-easy fix,何不现在就说来听听 why don't you just give it to me right now?-杰 -我的老天 - Jay! - Oh, my God.看我的宝贝 I- I got this, baby.不你干你干什么 No. What did- What did you do?现在两个人都弄脏了 Now two people are dirty.三个 Well, three.好吧你自找的 Okay, you know what?谁叫你说"庸俗不堪" That's for "Kitschy."泥巴大战 Mud fight!别这样别别停下 No. Don't do that. No, no, no! Stop it!大家都站好都听话别闹了 Everybody get back in line. Come on, guys, stop.可恶你们 Damn it. Damn it! Guys!不好意思 Excuse me.你们到底拍不拍了 Are we still doing this?不不拍了 No. No, we're not.-现在拍吧 -准备好咯 - Now we are. - We're ready!-说"茄子" -"茄子" - Say "cheese." - Say "cheese"!68年我在理发店扫头发的时候 Back in '68, when I was sweeping up hair in that barbershop,我曾幻想今后自己家庭的样子 I had this mental picture of the family that,如果够走运的话 if I was lucky enough,有一天我会坐拥完美的妻子完美的孩子 one day I would end up with- perfect wife, perfect kids.结果呢我没那运气 Guess what. I didn't get any of that.最后捞到这么一群二货 Wound up with this sorry bunch.可我每天都对此充满感激 And I'm thankful for that every day.大部分时候吧 Well, most days.我还是就提猫王艾维斯的事好了 I think I'm just gonna go with the Elvis stuff.换我也会 Yeah. I would.右边点右边点 Uh, to the right. To the right.稍微往左一点点 A skosh to the left.对了 There we go.不管了反正重刷墙壁的时候 Whatever. I'm gonna have to take the picture down还是得把这幅照片取下来的 when I repaint the wall anyhow.-杀了我吧 -什么 - Kill me now. - What?我真是太幸运了 Don't know how I got so lucky.爱你 I love you.-我喜欢这张照片 -是啊 - I love that picture. - Yeah.-相框那里是有个缺口吗 -没有没有 - Is that a chip on the frame right there? - No. No.-我看得到 -亲爱的 - I can see it. - Honey.。

Look, I know you'r tired. 听着我知道你很累But just think how good you're gonna feel tomorrow但想想明早起床时我们就用上新的壁纸了when you wake up and we have all new shop paper. 那感觉会是多么美妙I wish I didn't get what you are talking about. 我希望自己不理解你说的那种感觉But I do. I just do. 但我理解我就是理解Hey, who could be calling at this hour? 谁会这么晚打电话来It's Sal. 是萨尔No. Not answering that. 不不接了Whatever earth-shattering drama she's going through can wait.不管她在经历什么惊天动地的事都可以先等着Until she gets here. 除非她找上门来Oh, God. I hope we have vodka. 天呐但愿我们有伏特加We don't, Mitchell. 没有了米奇尔Sal was our best girlfriend 萨尔是我们年少轻狂的岁月里from back in our party days, 最要好的女性朋友but over the years, we've kind of gone in different directions. 但这几年来我们走上了不同的路We chose forward. 我们选择了向前走Why won't this open? 为什么打不开Uh, something's wrong with that door. 你们家的门坏了哦Okay, whatever. I have the most amazing news, 好了无所谓我有个超棒的消息and I'm super excited, 我现在超激动but I won't be if you don't want me to be. 但你们要是不喜欢我就不激动Ready? 准备好了吗I'm getting married! 我要结婚了Oh, my gosh! Congratulations! 天啊恭喜你- I know! - Who's the guy? -我知道 -谁那么幸运Oh, the love of my life. 我的一生挚爱Oh, so you finally bagged your boss? 这么说你终于"俘获"了你的老板吗Oh! Yes, but it's not him. And I don't work there anymore. 对但不是那个我没在那里上班了His name is Tony. 他的名字叫托尼I met him three months ago. 我三个月前和他认识的He's the greatest guy ever. 他是有史以来最棒的男人And seriously, are you guys okay with this? 说真的你俩能接受吗Of course. Why wouldn't we be? 当然为什么不能呢Well, you know, because I can get married, 因为我能结婚and you guys... Ugh! can't. 但你们俩不行So? That doesn't mean you shouldn't. 那又如何那不意味着你不该结婚Really? Because I will not go through with it 真的吗因为如果你们俩不同意if you don't want me to. Seriously. 我就不结婚说真的Not necessary. I mean, what kind of people would we be 没必要我们要是剥夺你if we denied you or anyone the right to marry? 或任何人结婚的权利那成什么人了#politics. 政客This makes me so happy 这太让我高兴了because I want you two to be my best men. 因为我想让你们做我的伴郎- Yes! Yes! - Of course! -好啊好啊 -当然好了Okay. The wedding is gonna be super cute, 婚礼会非常小巧可爱Just us, a little dinner after. 只有我们几个随后是小型晚宴Oh, and it's next Friday. 就在下周五Oh. What, it's next Friday? 什么下周五- Yeah. - How will we have time to do best man stuff? -对 -那我们哪有时间准备伴郎事宜You know, like help you pick out your dress, 比如帮你挑选礼服啊get your flowers, get our hair blown out? 准备捧花啊做做头发啊He's never been a best man before. 他没当过伴郎Oh, my God, we're getting married! 天呐就要结婚了We're getting married! Let's have a drink. 就要结婚了来喝一杯吧- Yeah, we're out of vodka. - I will see you on Friday. -我们没有伏特加了 -我们周五见And initial here and here and here. 把姓名首字母签在这里这里和这里Ay, my arm is starting to hurt. 我的胳膊都酸了- Just a couple more. - What's going on? -就剩几个了 -怎么了Nothing. I have to get this package, 没事我在收包裹but there's so much signing. 要签好多字啊Get out of here, you perv. 滚出去你个变态What's the matter with you? 你怎么回事You don't do that in front of strangers. 你不该在陌生人面前喂奶At least throw a blanket over. 至少要盖个毯子- I am not ashamed. - Obviously. -我并不为此感到羞耻 -显然如此They're out all the time-- 你简直毫不吝惜展示她们in front of Manny, at the club, 在曼尼面前在俱乐部里at Claire's dinner the other day. 前几天在克莱尔的晚宴上Phil almost ate a candle. 菲尔差点生吞了支蜡烛Fine. Next time, I will feed your baby inside a dark closet. 好吧下次我去小黑衣柜里喂你儿子I'm just saying pick your moments, huh? 我只是希望你喂奶时注意场合Like let Daliya open the door. That's why we hired her. 比如让达丽娅来开门不然我们雇她干嘛Daliya? 达丽娅My mother raised six children 我妈妈养了6个孩子while working at a construction job. 同时还要在建筑工地工作She would be so ashamed if I had a nanny. 她会因为我用保姆而感到羞耻的I don't see a lot of shame from your mom 她每个月拿着我的支票取现时when she's cashing my checks every month. 可没觉得她有羞耻心Hey, Daliya, we gotta go see Manny's teacher. 达丽娅我们要去见曼尼的老师Would you try to coax a burp out of this one? 你能来给小家伙拍拍隔吗Come here, little guy. 来吧小家伙Can you hold him a little higher? 你能把他抱高点吗I will. I'm just letting him get settled in. 我会的我只是调整下姿势Okay, we're going. Bye-bye, joe. 好了我们要走了再见乔He likes to bounce a little. 他喜欢被轻轻地摇晃Can you cup your hand 手稍微弯一点- so that he doesn't feel like you're slapping? - Okay. -这样他才不会觉得你在打他 -好的She knows it. Stop micromanaging. 她懂啦别什么事儿都要管Cup your hand. 你手弯一点- Hello. - Hey. -大家好啊 -好Hey, can one of you guys drive me to my cello thing tonight?你们今晚谁能载我去参加大提琴演出Honey, I wish we'd known. 宝贝我们要是早点知道就好了Yeah. We got a dinner thing with the Flendersons. 是啊我们得去跟"弗林德森"一家吃晚饭Okay, you don't have to stay, 你们不用留下来看演出的and those aren't even real people. 根本没人叫那名字Sorry. I panicked. 抱歉我刚才慌了I got stuck between the Flemings and the Hendersons. 在"弗"莱明斯和亨"德森"之间纠结来着Oh, my god. Are those new boots? 天呐那是新买的靴子吗Yes. 是啊I love them. They're so cute! 我好喜欢太好看了They are? 是吗Oh, I forgot to tell you-- 忘了跟你说了Danielle Gunston--first one in my class to get pregnant. 丹妮尔·冈斯顿是我们班第一个怀孕的You totally called it. 完全被你猜中了Did you hear that? 你听到了吗My money was on Denise Modick. 我猜的是丹妮斯·莫迪克No. First she complimented my fashion sense, 不是她先是称赞了我的时尚品味then she told me I did something right. 而后又说我做了件对的事儿Phil, I think it's happening. 菲尔我觉得时候到了Raising a kid is like sending a rocket ship to the moon. 养孩子就如同把火箭送上月球You spend the early years in constant contact, 刚开始几年你们形影不离and then one day, around the teenage years, 然后忽然间大概在青春期时they go around the dark side and they're gone. 他们升入黑暗的外太空消失不见All you can do is wait for that faint signal 你能做的就是等待一个微弱的信号that says they're coming back. 说他们要回来了I think Haley is sending me that signal. 我觉得海莉是在给我发送信号了And? 还有呢- And Phil gave me that analogy. - Yeah. -这个比喻是菲尔想到的 -没错You know what? 你知道吗I think I'm gonna ask her out to dinner tonight. 我想约她今晚一起出去吃饭Do you think she'll say yes? 你觉得她会答应吗If you want, 你需要的话I can pass her a note in study hall. 我可以帮你在自习室给她传个纸条What did I do? 我做错什么了Oh, my god. Nothing. 天呐没什么I just wanted to know, if you weren't busy, 我就是想知道要是你不忙的话you know, if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight? 今天晚上你想不想跟我一起吃饭呢Dinner? Just you and me? 吃饭就你和我吗I mean, you don't have to. It's cool. Don't worry. 你不是非去不可没事算了No, sounds fun. Let's do it. 听起来不错我愿意Okay. Let's meet by the front door, then. 好的那我们到时在前门见咯You know, 7:00? 7点钟怎么样- Okay. - Yeah. -好的 -好I totally think she likes you! 我真觉得她喜欢你I think so, too. 我也这么觉得First of all, I just want to say what a pleasure it is 首先我要说美术班能有曼尼这样的学生to have Manny in art class. 真是太荣幸了He's talented-- 他很有才华Can we just skip to what he did wrong? 我们直接说他做错什么事了好吗Who said that he did something wrong? 谁说他做错事了Hit it. 直说吧We do have an issue. 确实有个问题- Told you. -Manny seems to have quite a fascination -我就说嘛 -曼尼似乎非常迷恋with the female nude. 女性的裸体So? He's a romantic. 那又怎样他生性浪漫Well, this is all his art work over the last few weeks. 这些是他最近几周的全部画作Holy moly. 我的天There were even more, 其实还有更多but I think the janitor took some home. 不过门卫好像偷了几张回家Look at this. 看这个And this. 还有这个And these. 还有这个Look, I'm an artist. I'm free. 我是个艺术家我思想开放I used to have an earring up here. 我曾经在这上面打过耳洞But some of the other parents have complained. 不过有些其他孩子的家长投诉了Well, the moms. 都是当妈妈的He must have learned that at school. 他一定是在学校学到那些东西的Because we have filters in the computer, 因为我们家的电脑装了过滤设备and I have thrown out all of Jay magazines. 而且杰的黄色杂志都已经被我扔掉了Don't know what she's talking about. 我不知道她在说什么There is no way that Manny has seen this sort of thing at our home.曼尼绝对不可能在我们家看到这些东西We'll take it from here. 我们会处理的Hey, buddy. 你好伙计It's just you and me tonight. 今晚就我们父子俩在家Sounds good. I'll be right down. 听起来不错我马上下去All right. 好的I knew it! What are you hiding? 我就知道你藏什么呢- Porn. - Don't lie to me! -黄片儿 -别对我说谎Fine. 好吧I'm trying to send a message to a girl on Facebook, 我正要在Facebook上给一个女孩发信息but she's so out of my league. 但她是我高攀不上的女神Look at her. 看看她Oh, yeah. She's cute. 没错她很漂亮I've been sitting here forever 我都坐在这里好久了- and I can't think of anything to say. - Well, you are in luck. -就是想不出该说什么 -你可走运了If anyone knows the art of wooing the fairer sex, 要说有谁知道如何追求女性的话it's this guy. 那就是在下了"Hey." "你好"- Wait! - Send. -等等 -发送Why did you type that? 你怎么可以那么写呢Now she knows I'm thinking about her. 现在她知道我在想她了Smiley face. 笑脸Oh, my god. Stop now. 我的神呐快停手吧We can only screw it up from here. 我们这样只会搞砸的Please. You're in the hands of the master. 拜托你现在有幸得到大师的指点I think I know how to pick up a 14-year-old girl... 我觉得我还是知道怎样泡14岁少女的for you. 帮你泡"What's the haps tonight?" "今夜漫漫如何消遣"Boop. 走你"What's the haps tonight"? Nobody says that. "今夜漫漫如何消遣" 没人会这么说的"Going to the mall. Wanna meet?" "打算逛商场想见面吗""Dinner at Rosa Grill in an hour?" "一小时后在罗莎烧烤店吃饭如何"Question mark. Boom! 问号发射Kids don't eat dinner. 小孩是不吃饭的What do you mean, you don't eat dinner? 不吃饭你什么意思What do you do? 那你们干什么I don't know. You just walk around and jump off stuff. 不知道就是到处走走上蹿下跳的You can't invite a girl to jump off stuff. 你不能邀请女孩一起上蹿下跳的Well, it's way better than-- 可是那总好过..."See ya then. X.O." "一会儿见抱抱"You're in, buddy. 妥妥的伙计I gotta get ready. 我得准备一下All right, let's go before this wears off. 好了我们在香味消失前赶紧出发吧I think we have a few days. 我觉得那要好几天的时间Well, thank you, dimples. 谢谢你酒窝男Oh, you better get that out of your system, 你最好别再处处调情了'cause in two hours, you're gonna be... 因为再过两小时你就要成为Mrs. Anthony Lombardo. 安东尼·伦巴杜太太了So does this Italian of yours cook? 你那个意大利未婚夫会做饭吗In every room of the house, 在家里每一个房间都"做"if you know what I mean! 如果你明白我的意思的话- We have a lot of sex. - Yeah. Got it. -我们疯狂做爱 -明白了Okay, now let's have a proper toast. All right. 好了现在让我们正正经经地祝酒吧To wild Sal. 敬狂野的萨尔You gave it a good run, 你有着惊险刺激的人生经历but like every legendary gunslinger, 但就像每一位传奇的火枪手那样there comes a time when you need to holster your weapons 终究还是会有刀枪入库and ride off into the sunset. 马放南山的一天But you took on every man who came to town. 但每个来到镇上的男人都被你搞定了- I really did! - You sure did. -我确实如此 -必须的Also, you know, I'm just getting married. 而且我只是要结婚了而已I'm not dying. 又不是要死No, no. We're just happy you're happy. 没有我们只是为你幸福而感到高兴And we're excited that we're gonna get to see 而且我们很高兴今后so much more of you now. 能更多地跟你见面了Yes. We'll be couple friends. 是的我们两对夫妇会成为朋友的We'll go to movies... take classes... 我们可以一起去看电影上课Oh, our game nights on Saturday... 还有我们每周六的游戏之夜- Huge. - They're epic, yeah. -超盛大 -史诗级的Do you play Cranium? 你玩克雷涅姆桌游吗Do you play Cranium? [Cranium是一款桌游的名字也有头颅的意思]Well, if I'm playing board games on a Saturday night, 要是我会在周六晚上玩桌游的话you can shoot me in my cranium. 你就直接往我头颅上开一枪吧But I love you! 不过我还是爱你的I need to take a whiz. 我得去嘘嘘了I'm so happy for her. 我真为她高兴I think we might have freaked her out, though. 不过我觉得我们可能吓到她了Oh, no, Mitchell. Come on. You're a smart man, 哪有米奇尔你是个聪明人but you are awful at reading people. 可你不擅长读懂人心Sal's been different this week. 萨尔这周大不一样了That is a woman in love. 那就是恋爱中的女人Looks like a woman in love. 真是个恋爱中的女人啊Look, nobody's as happy as I am about you loving the ladies. 听着你喜欢女人没人比我更高兴All I'm saying is, you gotta pull back a little. 我想说的是你得收敛一点- Okay. - Ay, Manny, -好吧 -曼尼this is all my fault. 都怪我I am too free with my body. 我太随心所欲地展现自己的身体了It was okay when you were a little boy, but... 你小时候这样不要紧但...Was it? 是吗But now that you're a young man, 可你现在是个小伙子了- and... - I didn't hear a word they said. -而且 -我一个字也没听进去All I could think about was Daliya. 我脑子里想的都是达丽娅Every drawing, every poem, 每幅画每首诗every historical novel I wrote was for her. 每一部历史小说我都是为她而作She was my muse. 她是我上辈子的女神Toss in a body that doesn't quit, 今生附在那性感的躯体之中and I think we got a soul mate. 来作我的灵魂伴侣So there's a lot of other things you can draw. 你可以画别的好多东西啊You've got your landscapes. You've got your bowls of fruit. 你可以画风景画篮子里的水果Trees. 画树木A barn. The ladies with the fruit on the head. 画谷仓还有头顶水果的女人I said fruit. 我说过水果了But you didn't say the ladies with the fruit on the head. 可你没说头顶水果的女人I'm trying to get him away from the ladies. 我是想让他不要再总想着女人Ah, good. Good. Good. 好好的好的This is so stupid. 这也太蠢了What if I spill on her, 万一我把汤洒她身上or accidentally brush my boob against her hand? 或者一不小心我的胸蹭到了她的手怎么办I mean her hand against my boob. 我的意思是她的手蹭到我的胸Dude, stay cool. You got this. 哥们儿放轻松你能搞定的I'm gonna be at the bar the whole time. 我会一直在吧台If you start to panic, just come get me. 你要是慌了就过来找我Shh. There she is. 小点声她来了What was that? 那是什么声音I don't know. I've never heard it before. 不知道我以前也没听到过Try not to let that happen again. 别再那样了- Hi, Luke. - Pretty good. -你好卢克 -我挺好的Uh, I mean, hi, Simone. 我是说你好萨梦Uh, this is my dad. 这是我爸Dad, this is Luke. 爸这是卢克You're funny. 你真有趣Looking. 长得有趣Clutch. 说得好What are you still doing here? 你还在这干嘛What the hell got into me? 我是被什么搅昏了脑袋啊Besides the bartender's tongue? 除了那酒保的舌头搅的吗Yes. Yes, well, that was a little inappropriate. 是的那确实有点不妥But let's not overreact. 可我们别反应过激了It's perfectly natural to have a panic attack 在做重大人生决定前before making a big life decision. 惊慌失措是很正常的What if it's the wrong decision? 如果这是个错误的决定怎么办What if Tony's not the guy? 如果托尼不是我的真命天子怎么办What if he's the guy? 如果他才是真命天子怎么办Or him? He is cute. When did he come in? 或是他他好帅他什么时候进来的Okay, you need to focus, Sal. 好了你得集中注意力萨尔You are about to make a sacred, lifelong commitment. 你即将做出一个神圣的终身的承诺You are not making this better! 你是在帮倒忙Oh, god, it's Tony. 天啊是托尼I'm supposed to pick him up and drive him to the wedding? 我本该开车去接他参加婚礼的吗Everybody shut up for a second! 所有人都给我闭嘴Okay, you know what? I'm gonna marry him. 好了知道吗我要嫁给他What's the worst that can happen? I get a divorce. 最差能怎样大不了离婚People do it all the time. 现在离婚的人多了去了oh, you're suffocating me! 你快让我窒息了It is not too late. You are not married yet. 现在改主意还不晚你还没结呢You're right. 你说得对Okay. That's good. Get it all out. 好很好尽情释放吧- Here. Stand up. - Okay, mom? -到了竖起来 - 妈Mom. Mom. Oh, my god, mom, I think I got it. 妈妈我的天啊我能行I've been lugging this thing around for ten years. 我拖着这玩意儿到处跑都快十年了Okay. Well, you sure you don't want us to stay 好吧你确定你不要我们留下来and--and hear you play? 听你演奏吗Mm, that's okay. 没关系啦Yeah, I agreed to dinner, 我同意去吃晚餐Yeah, I agreed to dinner, [Electric Light Orchestra: 英国著名乐队-电光乐队]not tickets to the Electric Light Dorkestra. 可没同意来看"呆光乐队"演出Don't be so mean to your sister. 别对你妹妹这么刻薄No, that's our band's name. 不是那就是我们乐队的名字So you wanna go back to that vegan place? 你想回那个吃素食的店吗Ooh. Leather jacket. Can't take the hate. 穿着皮夹克呢会被恨死Haley! 海莉Gabby! What are you doing here? 加比你在这干嘛呢I just stopped in for a bump of coffee 就进来喝杯咖啡before I meet up with Zoe and those guys at Noodlecat.一会儿要去面条猫那里跟佐伊他们碰面- Do you wanna go? - So what's--what's Noodlecat? -想一起来吗 -面条猫是什么Oh, it's this really cool Asian place 是个很酷的亚洲餐馆that sells, like, a million different kinds of noodles. 卖成千上百种不同的面条And hopefully, no cat. 但愿他们不卖猫- Well, that sounds cool. - So you don't mind if I go? -听起来很棒 -那你不介意我去吗Oh, I kind of thought we had plans. 我以为我们有安排了Oh. Yeah. You're right. 是哦没错So I can meet you guys there after. 我完事了再去那里找你们- How long are you gonna be there? - No. -你们要在那待多久 -不It's fine. It's fine. Go. 没关系没关系去吧I'll stay and watch Alex. 我在这看艾丽克斯演奏Oh, now I feel bad. 我好内疚Love you! 爱你Excuse me. 打扰一下You're Luke's dad, aren't you? 你是卢克的爸爸对吧I'm Valerie, Simone's mom. 我是瓦莱丽萨梦的妈妈- Oh. Phil. - Hi. -我是菲尔 -你好I recognized you 我认得你from when you hosted the school's talent night. 你主持了学校的才艺表演晚会You were incredibly limber. 你身体柔韧性真好Ah, when you wear the right pants. 归功于穿了合适的裤子- Please, sit down. - Thank you. -请坐 -谢谢Yeah. 不客气So how is the big date going? 大约会进行得怎样了I don't know. 我不清楚Simone was so nervous. 萨梦超紧张的When they were chatting on the computer, 他们在网上聊的时候I had to write everything for her. 我不得不帮她回复That's so funny. I did the same thing for Luke. 真是有趣我帮卢克做了同样的事So the whole time we were talking to each other? 所以其实一直是我俩在聊天咯Wait, does that make this our date? 等等那这岂不是成了我们两个的约会Well, a good father, funny, handsome. 一位幽默又英俊的好父亲A girl could do a lot worse. 小女孩在网上可能遇到比这更差劲的呢You know what, Mitchell? 你知道吗米奇尔Forgive me if my Missouri is showing, 抱歉我又要表现出我密苏里人的性格了but what she is doing is not marriage. 但她这不是结婚It's a mockery of marriage. It's mockerage. 而是对婚姻的讥笑她是在"讥婚"- And I'm gonna stop it. - No, no, you're not. -我得阻止她 -别别不行I can't help but think you're infusing the situation 我认为你在这事上掺入了一些with just a touch of your own frustration. 你自己的郁闷沮丧情绪Why, because we've built a life together for the last ten years? 为什么因为我们共同生活了十年吗Because we're raising a child? 因为我们一起抚养孩子吗Or because I was the first person to think of doing 还是因为我第一个想出在我们婚礼上an elaborately choreographed dance at our wedding, 表演一段精心编排的舞蹈and now it's been done to death? 而现在那点子都被人用烂了Makes you feel any better, 如果能让你好受点的话I was never gonna do that. 我想说我是不会同意跟你跳舞的But... I get it. 但我理解你Well, you know what? She can't get married 你猜怎么着只要伴郎if the best man doesn't hand over the wedding ring. 不把婚戒递给她她就没法结婚- You wouldn't. - Yes, I would. -你不会要这么做吧 -我会的Where is it? Give it to me. 婚戒在哪里给我- Give me the ring. Cam. - Stop. Stop. -给我戒指小卡 -别闹别闹- You have to give me... - Oh, well, this is a mystery solved. -你得交给我 -我总算知道你们的体位了Thank you! 谢谢- Okay. Let's go do this. - Okay. -好我们开始吧 -好How hot does Tony look? 托尼是不是很帅On a scale of 1 to bartender, or... 是跟酒保比还是...Reel it in, Cam. 别多嘴小卡I think this is broken. 我觉得这东西坏掉了We're gonna have to find another spot. 我们得找个别的车位No, we'll be late for the movie. 不行看电影会迟到的Are you sure you're doing it right? 你确定你的操作方法正确吗We both know I know how to use a credit card. 你我都知道我懂得如何刷信用卡All right, I'll put a note on the meter. 好吧我在收费器上留个条吧Let me get a piece of paper. 等我找张纸Maybe this is a bad sign. 也许这是个不祥的预兆Maybe I'm not supposed to be in the movie theater. 也许我不该来看电影I'm supposed to be at home with my babies. 我应该在家照看孩子们Honey, we know that Daliya knows how to take care of Joe. 亲爱的你我都知道达丽娅懂得如何照看乔And what about manny? He's supposed to run his own bath? 那曼尼呢难道要他自己放洗澡水吗You know, considering what's been going on with him, 考虑到他最近的情况it might be good for you to give him a little space. 也许你给他留点空间是好的I mean, this was his idea. 这本来就是他的主意What was? 什么是他的主意That we go out tonight, 让我们今晚出来约会so that we could get some alone time. 好让我们能有些独处的时间Oh, that's sweet. 真贴心- Uh-oh. - What? -糟糕 -怎么了We gotta get home. Look--Manny's notebook. 我们得回家去看曼尼的笔记本More drawings and a poem-- "Ode to Daliya." 又画画了还有首诗《达丽娅颂》So those were not my boobs? They were Daliya's boobs? 所以那不是我的胸部是达丽娅的胸部吗Yep. This is not a "Nude descending a staircase," 对这画的不是《下台阶的裸女》this is a "Nude vacuuming a staircase." 而是《扫台阶的裸女》Okay, Manny. Joe's asleep. 好了曼尼乔睡着了What do you want for dinner? 你晚餐想吃什么Actually, already taken care of. 实际上晚餐已经准备好了You shouldn't play with your food. 食物不是用来摆弄的哦What are you doing here? 你怎么会在这里I knew you were upset I left, 我知道你不高兴我离开and I felt bad, so I came back, 我感觉很内疚就回来了You're here out of guilt? 你因为内疚而回来的吗I know. I'm growing up. 我知道我长大了Why are you rolling your eyes at me? 你干吗对我翻白眼I'm doing a nice thing. 我这样做多贴心啊Because I want you to be here because you wantto be here.因为我希望你是因为你想回来才回来的Okay, you're being really needy right now. 好吧你现在真的好黏人Oh, my god. Are you going through the change? 天呐你更年期到了吗Stop asking me that every time I express an emotion. 不要每次我表现出点情绪就这么问And no, I am not. It's just so damn hot in here. 不我没有只是因为这里太热了I am disappointed, that's all. 我很失望仅此而已When you were little, we used to do everything together. 你小的时候我们做什么都在一起And I thought maybe you were coming back around, 而我以为那时的你又回归了and we could be friends again. 我们又能成为闺蜜了I just... miss being part of my daughter's life. 我只是怀念作为女儿生活一部分的感觉了Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming. 大家好感谢各位的到来I thought this was supposed to be some sort of classical thing.我还以为大提琴是演奏古典音乐的呢Me, too. 我也是She sings? 她还会唱歌I don't even know who that is. 我都不知道那是谁Oh, my god, Phil, you are hilarious. 天呐菲尔你好幽默Yep. That's how I got my wife of 20 years. 是的那是我20年来深得老婆欢心的诀窍Could we get the check, please? 麻烦结账谢谢Oh, I got this. 我来吧Ooh, funny and generous. 幽默又大方If my husband were more like you... 要是我丈夫能像你一样maybe I'd still be married. 也许我就不会离婚了Well, if my wife were here, 要是我老婆在这里she'd want me to be clear that I'm fully committed to her. 她会希望我清楚我要对她绝对忠诚You know that, right? 你知道的对吧What? 什么No, I just wanna make sure, 没有我只是想确定一下because you unbuttoned a button, 因为你解开了一颗扣子and I... love my wife, so-- 而且我...爱我的老婆所以You were the one who was flirting 是你跟我打情骂俏- and saying we're on a date. - That was a joke, -还说我们是在约会 -那是个玩笑But I'm--I'm sorry if I misled you at all. 但要是我误导了你我很抱歉Thank you. 谢谢But there was a lot of touching. 但你还摸了人家呢I touched your shoulder for a second. 我碰了一下你的肩膀而已No, it was more of a stroke, like this-- 不更像是轻抚像这样Okay. I'm so sorry 好吧非常抱歉for touching your hand with my boob. 我用胸部碰了你的手I mean my boob with your hand. 我是说用你的手碰了我的胸部Is this your little game? 你很喜欢玩这种把戏吗You cop a feel on a sad divorcee 你故意勾搭一个失落的离异女人and then pretend I'm the one coming on to you? 然后假装是我在调戏你- How does that feel? - Oh. Weird. -这样感觉如何 -好奇怪You like it? Yeah? 你喜欢这感觉是不是Little bit of that? 这样又如何- Yeah. - Little bit of whoa. No. -爽吧 -什么不要You probably like this. Don't you? 你喜欢这样是不是Oh, stop it. Your daughter's right over there. 打住你女儿就在那边呢My minivan is right outside. 我的小货车就停在外边That is not what I meant. 我不是那个意思This pizza is delicious. 比萨饼真好吃I like it, too. We have so much in common. 我也爱吃我们的共同点真多Have you seen the back of your menu? 你看过菜单的背面了吗"With silken hair and supple olive skin 丝绸一般的长发细腻的橄榄色皮肤and hands that wash the laundry of my kin..." 还有那双会洗衣服的纤纤玉手Oh, Manny... 曼尼You still have 12 lines to go. 下面还有12行呢Spoiler alert-- I love you. 剧透一下我爱你Okay, back away from the nanny. 好了离保姆远一点Oh, my god, it looks like a Madonna video in here! 我的天完全就像麦当娜的MTV一样嘛- Why aren't you at the movies? - We need to talk right now. -你们怎么没去看电影 -我们现在就得谈谈- What have you done to my son?! - I didn't-- -你对我儿子做了什么 -我没有She didn't do anything. 她什么也没做Why do you have to embarrass me? 你们为什么非要让我丢人Embarrass you? Maybe if you didn't fall in love... 让你丢人如果你没有爱上...Stop this! 别吵了You're going to wake the baby. 你们会吵醒宝宝的Now Manny and I are having a private discussion. 我要和曼尼私下说两句So please, give us a minute. 请给我们一点时间。

Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them? Yeah, just a sec.That is so, Kids, get down here! Why are you guys yelling at us, when we're way upstairs, just text me.Alright, That's not gonna happen, and, wow, you're not wearing that outfit.What's Wrong with it? - Honey, do you have anything to say to you're daughter about her skirt? Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute sweetheart! Thanks! - No, it's way to short, people know you're a girl you don't need to prove it to them.Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.I got it.Where's the babyoil? - It's on our bedside tip I Don't know, find it.Come on! I was out of control growing up, there, you know, i said it.I, just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes i made.If hayley never would exhibit on a beach in florida, half naked I've done my job.OUR job.- Right I've done our job.That was a penalty! Gloria, there Owen's six, let's take it down a notch.We're, verry different.He's from the city.He has big business.I'm come from a small village, very poor, but very very beautiful.It's the number one village in north-columbia, before al the what's the word? - Murders.Yes, the murders.Manny, stop him! Dammit, manny! Come on, coach! You've gotta take that kid out! You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!? Honey, honey Why don't you worry about you're son! He'd spend the first half with his hands in his pants! I wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks I'm Josh, Brian's dad.- Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett Manny's mother.Oh, this must be you're dad.Her dad? Uh, no, no, that's funny.Actually no, I'm her husband! Don't be fooled by the Give me a second here.She's adorable! - Oh, thank you! Hey precious - Hello.We've just adopted her from vietnam and we're bringing her home for the first time.She's an angel.You and you're wive must be thrilled! Sorry, sorry, sorry, daddy needed snacks.So, what are we talking about? We have been together for five years now? And we've decided we really wanted to have a baby so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate Then we figured, they already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant? No, thank you.You saw that right? Everybody fonding up to lillian, then you walk on and suddenly it's all I'm gonna give a speech.- You are not giving a speech you gonna stuck with this people for the next five hours! - You'r right, it's okay, i'm sorry.Honey, look at that baby with those creampuffs.Okay, excuse me.But this baby would be growin up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for us creampuffs and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows no race, creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe Mitchel? - What? She's got the creampuffs.We would like to pay for everyone's headset's.MODERN FAMILY SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 Buddy, why do you keep getting stuk like this? I can get out this time.I'm just gonna say it he needs to be checked by a specialist.There! Be free, Excalibur! I'm having a friend over today.- Who? You don't know him.- Him? Oeh, a boy! You gonna kiss him? - Shut up Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay? - And do what? Fighting a son, it would be a nice change.I'm kidding! Who's the boy? - His name is Dylan I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrase me again.Hang on a second, you're fifteen, it's the first time you've had a boy over I'm bound to be a little suprised, but We're not gonna embarasse you! I'm better go charge the camcorder.I'm kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to? I'm a cool dad.That's my thang.I surf the web, i text LOL Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face.You know, i know all the dances to High School Musical, so.MOM! DAD! - What happend? Luke just shot me! - I didn't mean to! Are you okay? - No, the little bitch shot me! Language! The're only plastick bb's! It was an accident! What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this! Buddy Uncool.That's it? No, the agreement was that, if he shoots someone you shoot him.We were serious about that? Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.I'm so sorry! - Liar.Go! - He's got a birthday party.What's more importand here dad? You can shoot him afterwards, he'll be home at two.- I can't shoot him at two, showing our house at two.What about three? No, he's at a soccergame at three, and then Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five.- Yeah, I guess that works for me.Shoot Luke.- Sorry dude, it's on the calender Oh, come on! I'm quitting soccer, it is a game for children.No, you're not quitting.You would've stoped that goal if you weren't staring at that little girl.She is not a girl, She is a woman.You know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like that? If someone sais somthing about my family, i'm going to - I'm just saying you could take it down here a little bit.- Well yeah, but that's when you live down here but i live up here! You don't have to be so emotional all the time, that's all I'm saying.Manny, you're with me on this, right? - I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.Oh, for God's sake.Honey, she's 16.- Oh, it's okay for you to take another lover? Watch it! I want to go to the mall where she works. But first we need to get my white shirt, the silk one.Okay, if that's what you really want to do.Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16 year old you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole in you're puffy white underpants! Stop the car! Where you going? You hurt his feelings.- Well, if it toughens him up a littlebit, then oh, jeez, he's picking flowers! Manny is verry pasioned, just like his father.My first husband is very handsome but, to crazy.It seemd like all what we did was, fight and make love.One time, i'm not kidding you, we fell out of the window together.Which one we're you doing? I'm hearing this for the first time! This doesn't worry you? She barely slept in the plane, and she's stil wide awake.- Oh, stop worrying! That orphinage, it was all woman.Maybe she cannot fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape.I guess that's possible.So, here.- What the hell is that suppose to mean? Yes, i've gained a few extra pounds while we expecting the baby.Which has been verry difficult.But, apparently you're body does a nesting, very maturnal primal thing, were it retaines nutrisians. Some sort of molecular fysiology thing.But that's science, you can't fight it.I'm not saying anything.You're saying everything.Count to three, one, t - Three.- Okay.O My God, do you love it? -Yes, I What the hell is that? I had Andre do it when we we're gone.Is that us? With wings? We're floating above her, always there to protect her.Well, that's reassuring, right Lilly? Yeah, we tore you away from everyting you know but don't worry, things are normal here.You're fathers are floating fairy's! Can you call Andre? Have him paint someting a little less gay? We need to stop having friends with names like Andre.Redheaded dad, is angry daddy.- No I'm not.- Yes, you are.Even pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.- Okay, that's anotherone pepper! Okay, wat's up? I I never told my family we were adopting a baby.I know.- You do? And I don't blame you, I know your family.You tell them, they say something judgementally.Exactly! - You get mad.I know, and it's supposed to be nothing, but joyfull suddenly turns into this huge fight.Who wants a big emotional scene like that? Thank you, i'm so reliefed you understand.I invited them over for dinner tonight.What? - I had to! This would have gone on forever.You're an avoider.No, I'm calling them now, I'm cancelling.- No, you're not! You're telling your family you've adopted a baby, tonight.And you do have avoidings issues! Are you really not hearing this things? Don't answer it, i'll get it! Heey, you must be Dylan.- Hey, Dylan, yeah.I'm Haley's mother.Hey, come on, let's go.Hang on one second Dylan You're still in High School? - Yeah, i'm a Senior.Phil, sweety, honey.He is Dylan and he is a Senior.Let me meet this playa.Phil Dunphy, jo! It's like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the work.You're mouth might be saying: Hey, we cool! But you're eyes are like: No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, it's not! 'S all good? No, 's it is'n Jo.- Jo.Okay, I've seen two guys -Wait You two two keep it real? You k'now what it mean, son? Not really.Please stop.- That's cool! Oh, God, That's my back! Owh, oh, I slipped in the babyoil.Ooh, whe're you from originally? I could defeat you if it came to a phisical confrontation! I don't know about this, shall I call a doctor? - No, no, no.You're verry strong homes.- Thanks.Okay, nice, nice soft landing Okay, I am on my side, so flip me right back and we're good.We'll be good Just need to get flipped right on my back, we should be fine, so.Feldman.What is that? - A poem i've written for Brenda Feldman.Ofcourse that is.- I put my toughts into words, and now my words into action! Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this.I'm eleven years old, what am I gonna do with money? What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old? It's like a bullfight! Ever seen a bullfight? I can't watch this.You're in such a bad mood.And I know why, It's because that man thought you were my father.- No - Yes -NO When you say no like that, it's always yes.Come on, we're in the mall, let's get you like some yougher clothes there's a store there that I know - I don't need any youngher clothes! And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ribbed jeans thinks about me.Good, you shouldn't.You should only care what I think.I love you, and I don't care how old you are.So stop beeing an gloomygoos, and stop beeing so hard on Manny.- The only reason i'm hard on Manny is just because i don't wanna see him make a fool of himself. And I can smell that hairgoo of his from here! Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there but you're his family now.And that means only one thing.You be there winning his back, not to spit in his face! What? Something my mom always sais, it's georgeous in spanish.Look, he's there.She has a boyfriend.I gave her my heart.She gave me a picture of me as an oldtime sheriff.That was pretty stupidly, wasn't it? No mi amore, it´s was brave, right Jay? Brave.I..b you'll know better next time.Come on! Let's get a pretzel.Oh, excuse me, sir? We asked all mall-walkers to stay to the right.Alex, get out! MOM! Alex, leave you're sister alone! I was just getting my book, gosh! - I know sweety, but you need to respect her privacy.What are they doing up there? Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie.Okay Okay I'm making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting? Sure.So, you know if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the baby's yours? What? The senior at school was out sick for four months, but she was out breastfeeding in an cleanup carwash.Buddy, what are you wearing? - Nothing.No jacket, no hat.How many pairs of underwear do you have on? - One Six.First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew.Haley is not getting pregnant! I'm just saying if.I know, and I know you like to make trouble for your sister but it's not gonna work this time.You know why? 'Cause you're sister is a good girl.I know, I was just like her when I was I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this.This is an emportant lesson that you're leaning, so.'S all good, keep it You're to close, it's gonna hurt.- It's supposed to hurt! And why are you smiling? I'm What? Oh, forget it.I can't do this.The point is, you're scared.I think you've learned you're lesson.Mom?! What are you doing? - Hey, I was just dropping off some laundry, this is a bad time? Yeah Oh, okay.Can you shut the door please? Actually we're just go ahead and leave that open.Why? Because I have euh, seen this little show before: Lying on the bed with a tall, senior.one minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest, and the next you're lying underneath theair-hockey table with you're bra un-pocket! Mom! You hit my bone! - It was an accident! I tought we were friends! - I am your friend! Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely freaking out and emberassing me.Well, honey, you're mom isn't always as cool about things as I What is with this thing! My dad, isn't completely comfortable with This, ehum, he still does this thing.It's been five years now.And he still does this thing were he announces himself before walking into any room were in. Just to make sure he doesn't ever see us kiss.Wish my mother had that system.Remember? - Not now.I still can't beleve you did this to me! - Would you get in the spirit of things! It's a celebration! Oh God.I'm gonna go get Lily ready, and I want you to just come straight out with it, you can do this! Sportsguy-chest-bump, sportsguy-chest-bump! Do it, GO! Heey, how are you? Hi guys! Well thank you, thanks.- Don't thank us open it, dad is right behind Knock, knock, we're here! Coming in! - Don't worry dad, nothing gay going on here.May I take you're multicoloured coat and you're bejeweled cap? Yeah.Hey Jay - Gloria, hi! How are you? Hi Gloria, how are you? What a beautiful dress! Thank you, Phil! - Oh, Okay.Phil! She said Phil, not feel! So how was you're trip? - It was good, it was good actually but about that I have something that I need to tell you guys.We didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure.We, kinda have some big news.Oh, God, if Cam comes out there with boobs, I'm leaving! Dad! - I hope he didn't embarrase you, mom.Don't mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot him.Anyway, so about a year ago.Cam and I sort have feeling this longing for something more like, maybe a baby.Woooh, that's a bad idea.What do you mean, bad idea? - Well, kids need a mother! I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog! We're not bored, dad! I support you Mitchell, and tough you're not my son I think what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell you're a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you don't handle well. That's not what's it's saying what you saying.And it's insulting in an whole different way.Okay, people, let's all chillax! Where's uncle Cameron? - Finally, thank you, someone who's not insulting me, noticed he's not here.So, that's the big announcement.You two broke up.Well a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway! Let me tell you, your'll better of, because he was a bit of a dramaqueen.Stop, stop, you come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend who is by the way not that dramatic! We've adopted a baby.Her name is Lilly Exciting! Just turn it off.- I can't turn it off, it's who I am! The music! - Oh, yes, the music.Come, say hello Lilly.Lilly? Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? - Phil.Excuse me Okay, I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea.But What do I know? I mean, It's not like I wrote a book on fatherhood.I'm trying whole my life to get it right, i'm still screwing up.Right, Manny? I wrote a song about it in the car.- Ofcourse you did.Anyway, I'm happy for ya! And you should know that I'm not here to spit in your face, I'm here to blow at your back.It's supposed to sound better in spanish.Anyhow, Mitch.No, dad, it's I got it, I got it.She want's her daddy.- Do you wanna meet grandpa? You're kidding? She's one of us now, let me see that little potsticker! Eey, you're a cutie, aren't you! We're from different worlds.Yet we somehow fit together.Love is what's binds us.Through fair, or stormy weather.I stand before you now with only one agenda To let you know my heart is yours.Feldman, Brenda I mean seriously! Look, so far, he hasn't beaten me at basketball.Get that! Will you step out of my kitchen! Could you just do me a favour and just grab How's the weather down there? But, when the day comes that he does win, if, you know, if when he beats me. I'm just gonna be like, well done! Well done! Just let him, just support him.In that kind of stuff.I'm probably just wanna go like,。

第一季第二集16--嗨ClaireHi,Claire17--- 嗨- 嗨-Hey. -Hey.18--好吧Oh,okay.19--你好Hi20--- 这位是我丈夫Phil - 你好-This is my husband,phil. -Hi.21--那是我儿子Luke 他在那儿And that's my son,luke,right there.22--- 这位是...- Desiree -This is... -Desiree.23--对Desiree 抱歉Desiree... right. Sorry. 24--Desiree刚搬进我们小区Desiree just moved in down the block.25--- 好啊你住哪? - 314号-Fun. Where? -314.就那个两居室加室内室外客厅的房子吧Oh,the two-bedroom cottage With the indoor/outdoorfamily room.记性不错啊Very good.你肯定会喜欢那里的蒸气淋浴的Bet you're loving that steam shower.Phil 注意言行抱歉Phil,that's creepy. Oh,sorry.我是个房地产大亨I'm a real-estate mogul.\什么?! 其实我只是个小经纪What?! No,I am a real-estate agent.我们曾用拖车拖过那房子Um,we caravanned that house.地板还不错Great,uh,deck.谢谢夸奖Thanks.我就在那儿待到我离完婚I'm just there till my divorce is final.哪来的傻X 竟然会跟你离婚?Now,who is coconuts enough to dorce you?我们得走了回见We got to go,but we'll see yoaround.有时间可以到我家坐坐Well,we'll have to have you over sometime.我很乐意- 好的I'd love it. -All right.拜- 拜Bye. -Bye.她挺不错的She's awesome.我们家可不欢迎她No,we are never having her over.听说她已和学校里两个孩子爸爸上过床了I heard she already slept with two dads from the school.什么?What?那也太...可怕了That's...Horrible.老爸! 注意点- 你也注意-Dad! Watch out. -Oh,watch it,buddy.真老人Grandma.那看起来还是像女孩的单车That still looks like a girl's bike.那我们再贴点黑胶带吧Well,we'll add more black tape.我儿子骑的是他姐的旧车My son has been riding his sister's old bike.直到他有能力打理新车为止Until he's responsible enough To take care of his own bike.他把苏打水洒我电脑Look,he spilled a soda on my computer.因为水下自拍毁了我家的数码相机He ruined our digital camera taking pictures of himself underwater.但那是女孩的单车It's a girl's bike.我很赞同给他教训I'm all for teaching him a lesson,但我很害怕But I worry about the ridicule he might get他会被老嘴巴们嘲笑From some loudmouth bully.嗨hey.单车不错啊Sally Nice bike,sally.老爸!Dad!在那上面他看起来就像小波皮(little bo peep 著名童谣女性形象) Come on. He looks like little bo peep on that thing.不会太久的他今天下午就会有新车了Actually,not for long. He's getting a new bike this afternoon.真的吗? - 当然I am? Mm-hmm.是吗?He is?有时候做爸爸的得下定决心Sometimes a man's gotta put his foot down做男人该做的事And do what a man's gotta do.要是做妈妈的不高兴...And if the old lady don't like it...亲爱的?Honey?那就不关我事了...That's too damn bad.老爸这单车太酷了Dad,this is the coolest bike ever.喜欢就好Awesome.听着老弟So,listen,buddy.-家里的某些成员认为Certain members of this family你还不够格照料好这部车Don't think you can take care of this bad boy.122--- 你是说老妈? - 是你说的我可没说U mean mom? Your words,not mine.我和你妈是个团队Look,uh,your mom and I are a team,而她...我们感觉这是一个And she... we feel like this is a chance125--让你体现责任的好机会For you to show some responsibility.126--别让我们失望啊Don't make us look like jerks here.127--我不会的I won't.128--好的还有...Okay. One more rule.129--什么?What?130--好好去骑享受欢乐Have,like,three buttloads of fun.131--谢谢你老爸Thanks,dad.180--对我做出承诺才10分钟10 minutes after making a promise to me,181--他就没锁单车扔一边了He leaves his bike unlocked.182--Claire的声音开始在我脑里嗡嗡作响...All I can hear is claire's voice in my head...183--"他没有责任感"he's not responsible.184--你就不该给他买新单车"You never should have given him a bike."185--我知道我模仿Claire超棒的I know. I do a pretty good claire.186--我决定给他上一课So I decided to teach him a lesson187--让他认为车被偷了And let him think his bike was stolen.188--我知道这不好Now,I know that sounds kind of rough,189--但有时候你就得做个"坏"老爸But sometimes it's a dad's job to be the tough guy. 190--请让一下谢谢Excuse me. Thank you.191--你左边请让下是我左边你右边On your left. My left,your right.230--哦嗨Oh,hey.231--嗨! 好啊Hey! Hi!232--你好Hi.233--说起来很丢人Hi,uh,this is really embarrassing, 234--我把自己锁外面了But I locked myself out of my house.235--哦! 我总是这样别觉得难为情Oh,tsh! I do it all the time. Don't be embarrassed.236--我希望...你能帮帮我I was... I was hoping you could help me.237--有个窗户是开的但我够不着There's a window open,but I can't reach it.238--你不介意帮我吗?Would you mind?239--- 当然了没问题- 太好了-Yeah,sure.Of course. -Great.240--不是有句俗语嘛...you know what they say...241--上帝关了一扇门的同时开了一扇窗Every time god closes a door,he opens a window. 242--我估计每次他把你关外面时都这样吧Or I guess ithis case,every time he locks you out. 243--好吧给我说说情况Okay,what do we got here?244--我是不是对她有感觉? 当然了I mean,am I attracted to her? Yes.245--但我会出轨吗?不可能的事Would I ever act on it? No. No way.246--只要我老婆活着就不会Not while my wife is still alive.247--你确定不用进门喝点啥?Are you sure I can't get you something to drink?248--不用了我... 我不渴Yeah,no,I'm... I'm fine,really.249--如果我知道会有男人爬我的卧室窗户If I knew a man was gonna climb into my bedroom window,250--我肯定会打扫一番I would have cleaned up a bit.251--你在开玩笑吧?Are you kidding me?252--闻起来很好啊像乳液香精啊什么的It smelled great in there,like lotions and oils.253--就是给呃..干燥粗糙皮肤用的那种For...Dry skin and,you know,calloused hands.254--嗯那是蜡烛Yeah. It's a candle.255--怎么了?What's wrong?256--自行车不见了The bike's gone.257--天我来和你一起找吧?Oh,no. Can I help you find it?258--没事的谢谢你That's all right. Thank you.259--好吧谢谢你喔!Okay. Thank you!260--为了给他点教训我偷了他的自行车So,to teach him a lesson,I took his bike,261--然后...事情诡异了... 我把它放下才一分钟And then... crazy thing... I put it down for one minute,262--它就被偷了And someone swiped it from me.263--也许是你爹要给你个教训呐Maybe that was your dad teaching you a lesson.264--真幽默Zinger!265--那...So...266--这一辆能打打折吗?Any chance I could get a break on this one?267--- 我可以添上一个铃铛- 成交I can throw in a bell. Deal.268--- 用5块钱- 那算了-For $5. -No,sir.269--那你这次要买保险呢So,you want to go for the insurance this time,270--还是继续做傻X族?Or is it still for suckers?271--哈哈!Ha ha!272--还是很幽默Got me again.273--说的好主人Well played,milord.274--我要帮它买保险真谢谢你啊I will take some insurance. Thank you.295--"你做错事了你让爸爸很没面子""you blew it. You made me look bad."296--错了"你让你妈和我都没面子"No,"you made your mother and I look bad.297--咱俩一起的嘛We are a team."298--Luke 你在里面吗?Luke,you in there?299--嗨爹地Hey,dad.300--嗨嘿伙计Hey. Hey,buddy.301--今天呃很好玩吧That was,uh,that was pretty fun today,huh,302--得了辆新自行车?Gettin' a new bike?303--对啊太棒了Yeah,it was awesome.304--那我走了之后发生了什么事?So,uh,what happened after I took off?305--你有事情要跟我说吗?Anything you want to share with me?306--没有喔Not really.307--那如果我现在就去车库So if I went out to the garage308--拍张照片贴到剪贴簿上To take a picture for the scrapbook,309--你确定不会有惊喜在上面?There'd be no surprises?310--对不起我不是故意的I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it.311--我错了I just made a mistake.312--哼你惹大麻烦了!Yeah,a big mistake!313--你让我多丢人呐You're making me look really bad here.314--我跟你说了你自己能管好的I told mom you were ready for this.315--只是一道刮痕啦爸爸It's just a scratch,dad.316--那不是重点呐Luke...啥?That's not the point,luke... what?317--我骑上车道的时候刮了一下I scratched it on my way into the driveway. 318--对不起I'm sorry.319--就是说...没被偷?So...It's not stolen?320--没啊为什么这么说?No. Why?321--好事儿啊因为...That's good,'cause...322--外面有坏人会偷车呢There are bad people out there who would steal a bike.323--他们叫做偷车贼Those are thieves.324--你在这里好好反省一下那个刮痕You sit there and think about the scratch part.325--那也是不好的哟我真的要修那台阶了That's not good,either.I gonna fix that step.326--我走的时候别再刮任何东西了So don't scratch anything while I'm gone.327--除非觉得痒--那种刮是不一样的喔Unless it itches -- that's different.328--好消息是Luke的自行车还在The good news is,luke has his bike.329--好上加好的是...More good news...330--我用偷车的方式I taught some random kid a valuable lesson331--给某个小孩上了人生的一堂课By stealing his bike.332--而最好的就是...Claire还不知情Best news... claire knows nothing.333--所以我盘算着我能把新买的车放回So,I figure I'll just dump the new bike334--我偷车的地方Where I stole the first bike.335--那样的话那小孩能拿回自行车That way,random kid gets his back,336--而这新车也不会遭来很多难堪的质问And this new bike doesn't rais a lot of embarrassing questions,337--像为什么会拥有它啦Like why I had it338--又或者是某人把某人从房间窗口扔出去Or who boosted who through a bedroom window. 339--总之就是皆大欢喜So,everybods happy.362--我就不理解了I mean,I don't understand.363--你干嘛要在我面前藏藏掩掩的?Why are you trying to sneak around and hide things from me?364--其实这还蛮搞笑的I actually think it's pretty funny.365--- 真的? - 当然咯-You do? -I do,yes.366--你从别的小孩那里偷了一辆自行车I mean,you steal a bike from some poor kid367--然后这车又从你手上被人偷掉And then the bike gets stolen from you...368--多搞笑啊That's hilarious.369--这就是我嘛对吧?classic me,right?370--那是! 那辆在哪里被偷的啊?Yeah! So,where were you when it got stolen?371--噢就在我给车加油的时候Oh,I was getting some gas.372--你加油的时候不站在车旁边?You don't stand near the car when you get gas?373--站啊呃我进了加油站里面Yep,but,uh,I went inside374--去买汽水因为我好渴To get a soda because I was thirsty,375--如果我喝了汽水我就会不渴了And if I had a sod I wouldn't be thirsty anymore,376--所以我就买了一瓶就在那儿喝光光So I bought one,and then I drank it all right there, 377--所以没有铝罐带回来Which is why I don't have the can.378--甜心拜托Well,honey,please,379--下次记住了我是你老婆不是你老母Let's try to remember that I'm your wife,not your mom,380--以后呢不要背着我藏东西了好不?So in the future,you don't need to hide things from me,okay?381--好当然好Okay. Okay.382--你肥来啦欢淫你哟!You get back here,you!383--你在干嘛啊PhilWhat are you doing,phil?384--老婆我好爱你好爱你哦!I just love you so darn much!385--我也爱你啊你弄痛我了I know,I love you,too,but that hurts.386--让我把你抱进屋Let's get you inside.387--嗨!Hi!388--我就知道但那样好痛啊I know. That's hurting a lot.389--- 你真火辣- 嗨你们好啊-This is a hot one. -Hello! Hi,there!390--嗨我又嗨了Oh,hi! Hi,again.391--我呃找到你的自行车了I,uh,found your bike.392--太棒了你...在加油站找到的吗Oh,good! You... the -- at the gas station?393--不是啊在我家No,at my house.394--有个邻居看到放进我车库里了One of my neighbors saw it and put it in my garage395--那时你还在我卧室所以When you were in my bedroom,so...396--还认那是我吗?Classic me?。

第一集孩子们吃早饭了Kids, breakfast!孩子们Kids?菲尔把他们叫下来好吗Phil, would you get them?好等下Yeah. Just a sec.孩子们Kids!-这真是-算了- That is - Okay.孩子们快下来Kids? Get down here!我们远在楼上你们喊也没用Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs? -发短信就行了-那是不可能的- Just text me. - All right. That's not gonna happen.你不能穿这套衣服出门And, wow! You're not wearing that outfit.这衣服怎么了What's wrong with it?亲爱的对你女儿这条裙子Honey, do you have anything to say-有什么意见吗-不好意思- to your daughter about her skirt? - Sorry.-挺可爱的嘛宝贝-谢了- Oh, yeah. That looks really cute, sweetheart. - Thanks.不行这裙子太短了No. It's way too short.大家知道你是女生People know you're a girl.没必要穿这么少给他们看You don't need to prove it to them.卢克又把头卡在栏杆里了Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.我去吧婴儿油在哪儿I got it. Where's the baby oil?在我们床头的我不知道你自己找It's on our bedside tab- I don't know. Find it.拜托Come on!我在成长期间很皮I was out of control growing up.你看我坦白了There, you know? I said it.我只是不想让我的孩子I-I just don't want my kids...犯我一样的错to make the same bad mistakes I made.只要海莉没有半裸着在佛罗里达沙滩上醒来I-If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked我就完成任务了I've done my job.-我俩的任务-对- Our job. - Right.我就算完成了我俩的任务I've done our job.加油曼尼踢球啊踢啊Vamos, Manny! Kick it! Kick it!别让他踢啊Don't let him- Kick it!曼尼加油往右跑往右Manny, go! A la derecha! A la derecha!不不不要啊No! No, no.他下绊子杰怎么没人吹犯规He tripped him, Jay. Where's the penalty?歌洛莉亚他们落后了球了Gloria, they're and .你小点声叫喊Let's take it down a notch.我们非常不同We're very different.杰来自城市Jay's from the city.他的生意做得很大He has a big business.我来自一个小山村I come from a small village.很穷但风景怡人Very poor but very, very beautiful.我们村拥有全哥伦比亚最多的It's the number one village in all Colombia for all the-什么词来着What's the word?凶杀案Murders.对凶杀案Yes. The murders.曼尼拦住他Manny, stop him!拦住他你可以的Stop him! You can do it!你真烂曼尼Damn it, Manny!教练让那孩子下场Come on, coach. You gotta take that kid out.你想让他下场吗不如我让你"下场"如何You wanna take him out? How about I take you out?-亲爱的-你还是操心你的儿子吧- Honey, honey. - Why don't you worry about your son?他整个上半场光忙着抓裤裆了He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!那话我周来一直想对她说来着I've wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks.我叫乔希莱恩的爸爸I'm Josh. Ryan's dad.我叫歌洛莉亚曼尼的妈妈Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett. Manny's mother.-这是你父亲吧-她父亲?- Oh, and this must be your dad. - Her dad?-是啊-不不是真搞笑- Yeah. - No, no. That's funny.其实我是她老公Actually, no, I'm her husband.别被外表骗了Don't be fooled by the, uh-稍等Give me a second here.谁是乖宝宝是谁啊Who is a good girl? Who's that?是谁啊Who's that?-她真可爱-谢谢- Oh, she's adorable. - Oh, thank you.你好小公主Hi, precious. Hello.我们刚从越南领养了她Uh, we just, uh- We just adopted her from Vietnam.这是我们第一次带她回家And we're bringing her home for the first time, huh?她像个小天使你们夫妻俩一定很激动She's an angel. You and your wife must be thrilled.抱歉我来晚了老爹去买点心了Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks.大家在聊什么呢So, what are we talking about?我们在一起已经...5年了吧?Uh, we have been together for- guh, five- five years now?我们非常想要一个孩子And, uh, we just- we decided we really wanted to have a baby.一开始我们想找一个So, we had initially asked one of our女同性恋朋友做代孕母亲lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but-后来又想她们平时就够刻薄了Then we figured, they're already mean enough.你能想象她们怀孕后会如何变本加厉吗Can you imagine one of 'em pregnant? Pregnant, no.还是算了吧想想就怕No, thank you. Ick.你看到没大家在逗莉莉玩You saw that, right? Everybody fawning over Lily,你一走进来他们就装作and then you walk on and suddenly it's all,看购物杂志"Ooh, SkyMall.考虑买个电动领带架什么的I gotta buy a motorized tie rack."我得教育一下这帮人All right, you know, I'm gonna give the speech.千万别这么做You are not giving the speech.你还得和他们一起呆上小时呢You're gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours好吧你说得对我错了You're right, you're right. Okay. I'm sorry.[Cream Puffs 意为泡芙或者娘娘腔]你看那个拿着泡芙的宝宝-好吧够了-Look at that baby with those cream puffs. -Okay. Excuse me不好意思Excuse me.这宝宝原本可能会在人满为患的孤儿院里成长This baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage多亏我们这些娘娘腔收养呢if it wasn't for us "Cream puffs."你们这些搞歧视的人-米奇尔And you know what? Note to all of you who judge- Mitchell给我听好了爱不分种族信仰Hear this. Love knows no race, creed-不分性别Or gender.-我为你们感到羞耻-米奇尔- And shame on you, - Mitchell.你们这些狭隘愚昧的-米奇尔- you small-minded, ignorant few - Mitchell!-干嘛-人家说的是泡芙- What? -She's got the cream puffs.各位的耳机费我们请了We would like to pay for everyone's headsets.兄弟你怎么老是卡在这里面Buddy. Why do you keep getting stuck like this?我以为这次能拔出来呢I thought I could get out this time.我直说了吧他得去检查一下智商I'm just gonna say it. He needs to be checked by a specialist.好了你自由了There. Be free.亚瑟王之剑拔出来了Excalibur.-今天我有朋友来家里玩-谁啊- I'm having a friend over today. - Who?-你不认识他-他？- Uh, you don't know him. - Him? Him?哇男生你会和他亲嘴吗Ooh, a boy. You gonna kiss him?-闭嘴-别激动别激动- Shut up. - Easy. Easy.-闭嘴-你才闭嘴- Yeah, shut up! - No, you shut up!卢克和艾丽克斯你们俩出去解决好吗Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay?怎么解决And do what?-在太阳下决斗不错吧-海莉- Fight in the sun. It'll be a nice change. - Haley.我逗你们玩呢-是谁要来- I'm kidding. - Who's the boy?他叫迪兰His name is Dylan.我还是别让他来算了I might as well tell him not to come...不然你们又得让我丢脸Because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.亲爱的等等Sweetie, hang on a second.你15岁了还是第一次有男生来家里You're 15 , and it's the first time you've had a boy over.我是有点小吃惊I'm bound to be a little surprised,可我不会让你丢脸的but I'm not gonna embarrass you.我去给摄像机充好电I better charge the camcorder.逗你玩呢别这样也不看看我是谁I'm kidding. Come on. Who are you talking to?我是酷老爹这是我的风格I'm the cool dad. That's- That's my thing.我酷毙了我会上网I'm hip. I- I surf the Web.我会发短信LOL 大声笑I text. "LOL"- Laugh out loud.OMG---饿滴神"OMG"- Oh, my God.WTF意思是苦逼脸"WTF"- Why the face?[WTF=What the FUCK意思是搞毛]《歌舞青春》里所有的舞我都会跳Um, you know, I know all the dancesto High School Musical,so-我们现在欢聚一堂We're all in this together没错Yes, we are我们都是大明星We're all stars Something, something you know it -妈爸-什么事- Mom! Dad! - What happened?-卢克用枪射我-我不是故意的- Luke just shot me! - I didn't mean to.-你没事吧-有事- Are you okay? - No.这小贱人用枪射我The little bitch shot me.-别说脏话-只是塑料枪这是意外- Language! They're only plastic BBs. It was an accident.早就告诉你给他枪就会出事What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun?-你看着办吧-老弟不对哦- Deal with this. - Buddy, uncool.就这样不行不行That's it? That's- No, no, no, no.我们说好他用枪射了别人你就得射他的The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him. -我们当时是认真的吗-当然是真的- We were serious about that? - Yes, we were.所以你现在要按说好的执行And now you have to follow through.对不起-再装- I'm so sorry. - Liar.-去吧-他还要去参加生日会呢- Go. - He's got a birthday party.哪个更重要爸爸What's more important here, Dad?你可以之后再射他他两点就能到家You can shoot him afterwards. He'll be home at :.两点不行I can't shoot him at :.我两点还得带人去看房子I'm showing a house at :.-三点吧-不行三点他有足球赛- What about 3:00? - No, he's got a soccer game at 3:00.然后我们五点就得去赴宴And then- Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing at 5:00.4点15吧你可以在那时候射他4:15. You could shoot him at 4:15.行那个时候我有空Yeah, I guess that works for me. Oh!-射卢克-抱歉记入日程了- "Shoot Luke." - Sorry, dude. It's on the calendar.别这样啊Oh, come on!我不想踢足球了那是小孩玩的I'm quitting soccer. It is a game for children.不你不能放弃No, you're not quitting.对方之所以会进球You would have stopped that goal完全是因为你光顾着看小女孩了if you weren't staring at that little girl.她不是女孩她是女人She is not a girl. She's a woman.歌洛莉亚你犯得着非要和You know, Gloria, that little blowup with that other mom那个妈妈吵架吗Why do you have to do things like that?如果有人说我的家人If somebody says something about my family,-我一定-我只是说- I'm going to - I'm just saying.你火气应该小一点就这样You could take it down here a little bit. That's all.没错你总是这么忍气吞声的Oh, yeah. 'Cause that's where you live, down here.-可我咽不下这口气-可是- But I live up here! - Yeah, but,我只是说你别那么容易激动嘛you don't have to be so emotional all the time.That's all I'm saying.曼尼你也这么觉得吧Manny, you're with me on this, right?我要告诉布兰达·费德曼我爱她I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.-天啊-曼尼她都16岁了- Oh, for God sakes. - Manny, she's 16.你不就找了年长的对象吗Oh. It's okay for you to take an older lover?-嘿说话注意点-我要去她上班的商场- Hey, watch it. - I wanna go to the mall where she works.不过我先得换上我的白衬衫丝绸的那件But first I need to get my white shirt, the silk one.好吧如果你真想这么做的话Okay. If that's what you really want to do.说真的不是我要当恶毒的后爹Seriously. Not to be the evil stepdad,可你要真穿着那臃肿的白衬衣but if you put on a puffy white shirt...去向16岁的姑娘告白and declare your love for a 16-year-old,你会被扒得只剩条白内裤you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole然后被吊在旗杆上in your puffy white underpants.-停车-你去哪儿- Stop the car. - Oh, where are you going?看到没你伤他的心了See? You hurt his feelings.要是这能让他变得坚强点Ah- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit then-妈呀他去采野花了Oh, geez. He's picking flowers.曼尼是个多情种和他爹一样Manny's very passionate, just like his father.我的前夫风度翩翩但太疯狂了My first husband- he's very handsome, but too crazy.我们不是在吵架就是在做爱It seemed like all we did was fight and make love,吵架做爱吵架做爱fight and make love, fight and make love.说真的有一次我们从窗口摔下去了One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out the window together你们当时到底在做什么Which- Which one were you doing?我也是第一次听说I'm hearing this for the first time.你不担心吗This doesn't worry you?她在飞机上就没怎么睡现在还很清醒She barely slept on the plane and she's still wide awake.-别想多了-不想才怪- Oh, stop worrying. - I can't.那个孤儿院里都是女人That- That orphanage was all women.也许离开女性柔软的怀抱她就睡不着Maybe she just- she can't fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape. -有可能-那你抱着她- I guess that's possible. - So here.你这话是什么意思What the hell is that supposed to mean?没错Yes,在等待领养孩子的期间我是长胖了一点I've gained a few extra pounds while we wereexpecting the baby,过程相当艰辛which has been very difficult.但显然你的身体会But apparently your body产生一些母性的本能反应does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing...来储存养分where it retains nutrients-像是分子生理学那类的some sort of molecular physiology thing.那是科学事实But that's science.人类根本无力抵抗You can't- You can't fight it, so--我没别的意思-你就是话里有话- I'm not saying anything. - You're saying everything.-数到-- Count to three. - One, two---好吧- Three. - Okay.-小卡真美-我的天你喜欢吗- Oh, Cam. This is beautiful. - Oh, my God. Do you love it?当然我Yes, I-这是什么玩意What the hell is that?我让安珠尔趁我们不在时画的I had Andre do it while we were gone.那是我俩吗还有翅膀Is that us, with wings?我们在她的上方永远守护着她We're floating above her, always there to protect her.这真让人心安对吧莉莉Okay. Well, that's reassuring, right, Lily?我们把你从熟悉的环境中抢出来Yes, we tore you away from everything you know,可别担心新环境一切"正常"but don't worry, things are normal here.你的大爸二爸可是飞天小精灵哦Your fathers are floating fairies.不行你能叫安珠尔No, can you call Andre,重新画点不那么基情的东西吗have him paint something a little less gay?另外我们也该少和安珠尔往来By the way, we need to stop having friends他名字也太娘了with names like Andre.-红发老爹怒火旺盛-我才不是- Redheaded dad is angry daddy. - No, I'm not.你就是Yes, you are.回来的路上连胡娇都看出来了Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.你看又一个娘气的名字胡娇Okay, that's another one- Pepper.你到底怎么不爽Okay, what's up?好吧听着All right, look. I-我还没有告诉家里领养孩子的事I- I never told my family we were adopting a baby.-而且-我知道- And... - I know.-你知道-我不怪你我了解你家人- You do? - Yeah, and I don't blame you. I know your family.你一告诉他们他们就开始说三道四You'd tell 'em. They'd say something judgmental.-就是这样-然后你就会生气- Exactly. - You'd get mad.没错当爹本该是一件喜事I know. And then something that's supposedto be nothing but joyful转眼就变成一团混战suddenly turns into this huge fight.谁愿意让事情变得一团糟呢And who wants a big, emotional scene like that?谢谢谢谢Thank you. Thank you.你能理解我真是让我松了一口气I'm so- I'm so relieved you understand.所以我邀请了他们今晚来吃饭I invited them over for dinner tonight.-什么-我也是不得已- What? - I had to.这样下去没完没了你就只会逃避This would have gone on forever. You're an avoider.不小卡我现在就打电话取消这件事No. No. No. Cam, I'm calling them right now and canceling.不准打No, you're not.今晚你得把领养的事告诉全家人You're telling your family you adopted a baby, tonight.你就是喜欢逃避连朗吉娜都这么说And you do have avoidance issues. Even Longinus said so.你自己听听这些名字有多娘Are- Are you really not hearing these names?你们别管了我来开门Don't answer it! I'll get it!你好你一定是迪兰吧Hi. Hey, you must be Dylan.-是的迪兰-我是海莉的妈妈- Hey. Dylan. Yeah. - I'm Haley's mother.-我们走吧-那个- Come on. Let's go. - Okay. Um-等一下Hang on one second.迪兰你还在念高中吗Dylan, you're still in high school?-是我高三了-高三很好- Yeah, I'm a senior. -A senior. Okay. Cool.菲尔亲爱的这是迪兰他读高三Hey, Phil. Sweetie. Honey. He is Dylan, and he is a senior.你得给他个下马威You have to scare him.让我瞧瞧这个花心大少Let me meet this "Playa."在下菲尔·邓菲Phil Dunphy, yo.就是这样你只需死盯着他们看It's like that. You just- You just stare down at 'em,用眼神中的杀气震住他们let the eyes do the work.你嘴上说着没问题Your mouth might be saying, "Hey, we cool,"可你的眼神说才怪but your eyes are like, "No, we not."很高兴见到你才怪"Nice to meet you." "No, it's not."挺不错嘛"It's all good."才怪"No, it's not."-我看你俩已经-等一下- Okay, I see you two guys-- Wait, wait, wait.你们俩You two-你俩要坦诚相待懂吗小子You two keep it real, know what I mean, son?不太懂Not really.-求求你别说了-没事- Please, stop. - That's cool.-妈呀我的背-亲爱的- Ow. Oh, God! That's my back. - Oh, honey. Sweetheart.我被婴儿油滑倒了Ow! Oh! I slipped in the baby oil.你哪儿冒出来的啊"Oh, where you from originally?"单挑的话我轻而易举就能放倒你"I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation."我不知道该怎么办要打电话叫医生吗I don't know about this. Should I call a doctor?不用不用好了No, no, no, no, no. Okay.-小样儿挺强壮的啊-谢谢夸奖- You're very strong, homes. - Thanks.-好轻轻放下我-好了- Okay. Nice- Nice soft landing. - There you go.-行了我们走吧-我还侧躺着- Okay, let's go. Come on. - I am on my side though.现在只需把我放平就没事了So just flip me right back, and we're good.就没事了We'll be good.只需要把我翻过来就行I just need to get flipped right on my back,就没事了and we should be fine. So-布兰达·费尔曼Brenda Feldman.-你拿的什么-我为布兰达·费尔曼写的诗- What is that? - A poem I have written for Brenda Feldman.不用想也知道Of course it is.我将心事化为文字将文字用于行动I put my thoughts into words and now my words into action.你取消行动的话我就给你50块钱Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks not to do this.我才11岁而已要那么多钱干什么I'm 11 years old. What am I gonna do with money?你这年纪要16岁的花姑娘又能干什么What are you gonna do with a 16 -year-old?-他就像个斗牛士-你见过斗牛吗- He's like a bullfighter. - Mmm. You ever see a bullfight?我看不下去了-我知道你心情不好I can't watch this. - You're in such a bad mood.我也知道原因因为那人以为你是我爸爸And I know why. It's because that man thought you were my father. -不是的-就是- No. - Yes.-不是-你这样否认时就代表是- No. - When you say "No" like that, it's always "Yes."别这样我们都到商场了Come on. We're in the mall.给你买点年轻的衣服吧Let's get you, like, some younger clothes.-那边有家店-我不需要年轻的衣服- There's a store there. - I don't need any younger clothes.我也不在乎那些And I don't care what some jackass穿着破牛仔裤的混蛋如何看我in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.没错你不用在乎他们Good. You shouldn't.你只要在乎我的想法就行了You should only care what I think.我爱你我不在意你的年纪I love you, and I don't care how old you are.所以别郁闷了对曼尼也别那么凶So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny我对曼尼严格只是因为The only reason I'm hard on Manny...我不想让他出洋相Is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself.我从这儿都能闻到他的发胶味了And I can smell that hair goo of his from here.我不知道他那里会发生什么Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there.可你是他的家人这就意味着But you're his family now, and that means only one thing-你只可背后送春风不可当面唾其脸You be the wind in his back, not the spit in his face.-啥玩意-这是我妈常挂嘴边的话- What? -It's something my mom always says.用西班牙语说很华丽的It's gorgeous in Spanish.瞧他来了Look, he's there.-她名花有主了-真遗憾小宝贝- She has a boyfriend. - Oh, I'm sorry, mi nino.我把心献给了她I gave her my heart,她却还了一幅把我画成老式警长的图she gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff.-我真傻是吧-才不是呢小宝贝- That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it? - No, mi amor.你是勇气可嘉对吧杰勇气可嘉It was brave. Right, Jay? Brave.下次你就会进步了W-Well, you'll know better next time.来我们买椒盐卷去Come on. Let's get a pretzel.没事我挺喜欢这画的Mentira. A me se me gusta.先生不好意思Uh, excuse me, sir.在商场散步锻炼的人必须靠右边走We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right.艾丽克斯出去妈妈你看她Alex, get out! Mom!艾丽克斯别去烦你姐姐Alex, leave your sister alone.我只是进去拿我的书而已至于吗I was just getting my book. Gosh.我知道亲爱的可你要尊重个人隐私I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy.-他们在楼上干嘛呢-没干嘛- What are they doing up there? - Nothing.躺在她床上并肩看电影Lying on her bed, watching a movie.很好很好Okay. Okay.我在为今晚的聚餐准备蛋糕Um, I'm making a cake for tonight.你想帮我做糖霜吗You wanna help me with the frosting?好啊Sure.要是海莉怀孕了So, you know, if Haley got pregnant,你会假装她得了腮腺炎请假在家would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months,然后告诉别人那孩子是你的吗and then, like, tell everyone the baby's yours?-什么-有个高中生请了4个月病假- What? - This senior at school was "Out sick" for four months,可吉娜·瑞斯尼克发誓说看到她but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding在自助洗车站给孩子喂奶at a coin-op car wash.老弟你穿了多少衣服啊Buddy, what are you wearing?-没穿多少-把外套脱了- Nothing. - Uh-uh. No jacket.只能戴一顶帽子One hat.你穿了几条内裤啊How many pairs of underwear do you have on?就条One.是条Six.首先看海莉怀孕变胖还蛮爽的First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat.更酷的是And how awesome would it be多了个假弟弟实际上是我亲外甥to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew.海莉才不会怀孕Haley is not getting pregnant.-我只是说假如-我知道- Just saying "If." - I know.我知道你喜欢找你姐的茬儿And I know you like to make trouble for your sister,不过这次不管用了but it's not gonna work this time.知道为啥吗因为你姐是个好女孩You know why? 'Cause your sister's a good girl.我明白因为她和我当年一模一...I know. I was just like her when I was-要知道我也不想这么做I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this.可你得吸取这个教训But this is an important lesson that you're learning.所以记好了记住了So, soak it. Keep it.你站太近了这样会很疼的You're too close. It's gonna hurt.就是要你疼It's supposed to hurt.-你干嘛贱贱地笑-我笑了吗- And why are you smiling? - I'm- What?算了我下不了手Oh, forget it. I can't do this.就是要让你害怕你已经学到教训了The point is you're scared. I think you've learned your lesson.妈你干什么啊Mom! What are you doing?我是来放洗好的衣服Oh, hey! I was just, um, dropping off some laundry.-打扰到你们了吗-当然- Is this a bad time? - Yeah.那我走好了Oh. Okay.你能把门带上吗Uh, can you shut the door, please?我们还是让门开着吧Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open.为啥Why?因为这种场景我见多了Because I have, uh, seen this little show before-和高大的学长共卧一塌Lying on the bed with a tall senior.上一秒还只是一起看《鹰冠庄园》的朋友One minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest,下一秒你们就钻进游戏桌下and the next you're lying underneath the air hockey table宽衣解带了with your bra in your pocket.妈妈Mom!-你打到我的骨头了-纯属意外- You hit my bone! - It was an accident!-我以为你是我哥们呢-我是啊- I thought you were my friend! - I am your friend.爸爸你必须和妈妈谈谈Dad! Dad, Dad. You have got to talk to Mom.她简直是疯了而且丢尽了我的脸She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!宝贝你妈是不像你爸那么通情达理Honey, your mom isn't always as cool about things as-这玩意怎么回事啊What is with this thing?我爸My dad.我爸对这事还是不太习惯Uh, my dad still isn't completely comfortable with this.已经过了5年了他还是无法完全接受Um- He-He still does this thing. It's been five years now.每次他要进入我和小卡在的房间时And he still does this thing where he announces himself...他都会先喊一声before walking into any room we're in...以防撞见我和小卡亲嘴just to make sure he doesn't have to ever see us kiss.要是我妈也有这个习惯就好了Wish my mother had that system.-还记得吗-以后再说- Remember? - Not now.我真不敢相信你这么对我I still can't believe you did this to me.你能高兴点吗这是个庆祝会啊Would you get in the spirit of things? It's a celebration.天啊Oh, God.-我去给莉莉打扮一下-好- Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready. - Okay.-我要你对他们实话实说-好吧- And I want you to just come straight out with it. - All right.听话你能做到的Okay. You can do this.来个运动员式的撞胸Yeah. Sports guy chest bump.-不要-来撞一个- No. - Sports guy chest bump.-小卡好了-上吧- Cam. Oh! All right. Go - Do it.抱歉Sorry.-你好啊-大家好啊- How are you? - Hi, guys. Hey.看起来很美味啊谢谢That looks good. Oh, thank you. Thanks.不用谢打开吧爸爸后脚马上就到Don't thank us. Open it. Dad is coming right behind.有人吗我们要进来了Knock, knock! We're here. Coming in!别担心爸爸我们没在里面搞基Don't worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here.能帮你脱下这缤纷外套和闪亮小帽吗May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled cap?-拿去吧-杰你好啊- Yeah. Yeah. - Hey, Jay.-你好歌洛莉亚-你好- Gloria, hi. - Hi.-老爸你还好吗-歌洛莉亚你好- How are you? Hi, Dad. - Hi, Gloria. How are you?-裙子真漂亮-谢谢你菲尔[摸摸]- Oh, what a beautiful dress. - Ay, thank you, Phil.好吧Okay.菲尔Oh, hey, Phil.["Phil菲尔"和"feel触摸"音相似]她是叫你名字不是要你去摸That's how she says "Phil." Not "Feel." Phil.-旅行怎么样-挺好的真的- So how was your trip? - It was good. It was good actually.关于这事But, um, about that, I- I我有些事要告诉你们have something that I need to tell you guys.我们去越南不光是为了旅游Um- Uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure.我们有重要消息宣布We, uh, kind of have some big news.天啊要是小卡隆了胸我立马走人Oh, God. If Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving. -爸爸-我希望你的家长没让你觉得丢人妈- Dad. - I hope he didn't embarrass you, Mom.别管她海莉今天首次带男生回家Oh, don't mind her. Haley had her first boy over today...菲尔就给了他一枪And Phil shot him.总之一年前Anyway, um, so, about- about a year ago,小卡和我开始渴望有一个Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know,有一个孩子for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby?-这主意很糟糕-你说糟糕是什么意思- Ooh, that's a bad idea. - What do you mean, "Bad idea"?孩子需要有妈妈Well, kids need a mother.如果你们俩无聊了可以养条狗I mean if you two guys are bored, get a dog.我们不是闲得无聊爸Okay, we're not bored, Dad.我支持米奇尔尽管你不是我亲生的I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son.我觉得爸爸的意思是I-I-I-I think what Dad is trying to say...米奇尔你有点紧张兮兮的is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight.孩子就意味着麻烦你没法处理这种事Kids bring chaos, and- and you don't handle it well.爸爸可不是这个意思That's not what Dad's saying.这是你的意思That's what you're saying.而且是从另一个角度羞辱了我And it's insulting in a whole different way.好了各位都冷静点Okay, people. Let's all "Chillax."-卡梅隆舅夫呢-多谢多谢- Hey, where's Uncle Cameron? - Thank you. Thank you.总算有人发现他不在了而不是光羞辱我Someone who's not insulting me notices he's not here.原来你的重要消息就是这个啊Oh, so that's the big announcement, huh?你俩分手了吗You two broke up.领养个孩子也挽救不了破裂的婚姻Well- Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway.老实说你们分了也好And let me tell you. You're better off,他就喜欢小题大做because he was a bit of a drama queen.不是的打住打住No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No.你们到我家来还羞辱我和我的男朋友You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend,而且他才没有小题大做who, by the way, is not that dramatic-我们领养了一个宝宝We adopted a baby.她名叫莉莉Her name is Lily.激动吧-停下来- Exciting! - Just turn it off.我停不下来这就是我的个性I can't turn it off. It's who I am.-我是说音乐-关音乐啊- The music. - Oh, yes, the music.来和莉莉打招呼吧Come say hi to Lily.看看这个小公主Ay, miren a la princesita.真是个小公主The little princess.-她好可爱-多谢夸奖- She's so cute! - Thank you.让我看看让我看看Let me see her. Let me see her.你好啊莉莉Hi there, Lily.莉莉对她来说不是很难发音吗。