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少儿英文小笑话大全爆笑幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段。
下面是店铺精心收集的爆笑少儿英文小笑话，希望大家喜欢!爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇一A philosophy professor warned the classhe wasgoing to give them a test.一位哲学教授通知学生他要举行一场考试。
When the day came he entered theclassroom,wordlessly placed his chair on the tableand,turning to the blackboard, wrote, 考试那天，他走进教室，一言不发地把自己的椅子放到讲台上，然后转身在黑板上写道，"Prove to me this chair does not exist."“请向我证明这张椅子不存在。
”Most of the nervous studentbegan intently scribbling out long dissertations.大多数学生很紧张，都开始专心地写他们的论文。
But one member of the class wrote down just two words,and then handed his paper to theteacher.只有一个学生只写了两个单词就交卷了。
The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:"What chair?"当教授看到这个学生的答案时，不由微笑了，只见他写的是：“什么椅子啊?”爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇二A big burly man visited the pastor's homeand askedto see the minister's wife,a woman well known forher charitable impulses.一个高大魁梧的男人到牧师家拜访，他要求会见牧师的妻子，这是一个以有着慈悲心肠而闻名的妇女。
关于儿童爆笑英语笑话大全英语笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
在人不开心的时候听几则英语笑话可以让人马上变得开心起来。
小编精心收集了关于儿童爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!关于儿童爆笑英语笑话：A Small Boy and a Donkey 小男孩与驴子A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad(少年，小伙子) . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them. So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。
两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么? 这样，他就不会去参军了。
小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。
关于儿童爆笑英语笑话：I'm Glad 我很高兴A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.Well done. Who was that?My granny.Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。
小学生幽默英文笑话大全笑话拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱，是生活中不可缺少的一环。
小编精心收集了小学生幽默英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!小学生幽默英文笑话：家丑不可外扬Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.Teacher: Please tell us something about it.Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, 'Domestic shame should not be published.'混合双打体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗?尼克：见过，老师，经常见。
就在昨天夜里我还见过呢?老师：你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。
我爸爸常说，”家丑不可外扬。
“小学生幽默英文笑话：It's Kind of Fitting(理应如此)As a freshman at the University of Dayton in Ohio, I was eager to make a good impression on my new roommate. When I arrived at our dorm room, I found her putting on perfume. "That's a great scent," I said, making conversation."Thanks-it was from my boyfriend. Here, try some," she said, holding the bottle out for me.Unfortunately she let go before I had a firm grip, and the glass shattered on the tile floor. , Embarrassed, I tried to apologize, but she cut me off - "Actually, it's kind of fitting," she explained, surveying the damage. "That's exactly how the relationship went.小学生幽默英文笑话：ResponesFrequent hand-washing in my job as a medical technologistand the harsh Alaskan weather combined to give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands withpetroleum jelly and covered them with a pair of old white gloves.As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and began putting it on. "What are you doing?" I asked."Well," he replied, "if you're going to be formal, so am I."小学生幽默英文笑话：Two Old MenTwo old men were sitting on a porch with a hound dog between them. The dog had its leg hiked up and was licking itself. One of the old men said to the other, "I sure do wish I could do that."The other old man said, "You better not, that dog will bite you."。
小学生短笑话大全爆笑短一点的爆笑英文小笑话大全笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不行或缺的一部分。
透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。
本文是短一点的爆笑英文小笑话，盼望对大家有关心!短一点的爆笑英文小笑话：It Doesnt ExistJimmy came home from school with an F on his geography test. His mother was reviewing his work, and noticed that he had gotten one particularly easy question wrong.Jimmy, she asked, Santa Cruz is in California.No, it isnt. It doesnt exist.Of course it exists. What makes you think its imaginary? Thats what you told me, mommy, the boy replied.When did I tell you that?Last Christmas, when I wanted to know why I didnt get a horse. No, I told you that Santa CLAUS doesnt exist, not Santa CRUZ.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话：No Temper Tantrums On This PlaneAs a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boys ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mothers hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.Excuse me, General, she asks quietly, but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, I showed him my pilots wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话：Mommys WashclothThere was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked, he asked his mother what was the hair in between her legs? She responded, Its my washcloth. Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again, but while she was in thehospital the doctor shaved her pubic hair, and the boy asked his mother: What happened to your washcloth? The mother responded, I lost it.The little boy trying to be helpful set out to find his mothers washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running to his mother yelling and screaming, I found your washcloth, the mother thinking that the child was just playing went along with the boy and asked, Where did you find it? The boy answered, The maid has it and she is washing daddys face with it.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话：Coffee MakerA sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee in bed. He had made it all by himself and was so proud. He waited eagerly to hear herverdict on the quality of the coffee.The grandmother had truly never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee. The first fewsips just about did her in, but she praised her grandson, told him it was wonderful, and drank it all anyway. As she forced down the last sip, she noticed three little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.She asked, Honey, why would three of your little army guys be in the bottom of my cup?Her grandson replied, You know, grandma, its like on TV:The best part of waking up... is soldiers in your cup.短一点的爆笑英文小笑话：You Are UglyFinding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith, the Sunday School teacher, smiling sweetly said, Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly an face, it would freeze and I would stay like that.Bobby looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you cant say you werent warned.看了"短一点的爆笑英文小笑话'的人还看了：1.简短爆笑英文小笑话大全2.简短的爆笑英文小笑话大全3.爆笑的简短英文小笑话大全4.好玩简短的英文爆笑小笑话大全5.关于爆笑英文短笑话大全。
"Well, it down and have ome nack," aid hi mother. "Your tomach" hurting becaue it" empty. It"ll be all right when you"ve got omething in it." “来，坐下，吃些点心，”他的妈妈说。
“你肚子疼，是因为肚子空了。
Your handwriting eem very large." “你的字写得好像很大。
” "Well, Grandpa" deaf, o I"m writing it loudly." “啊，爷爷耳聋，所以我要写得大声点。
” 好笑的儿童英语笑话篇四 The orchard-keeper potted a little boy neak into the orchard and climb an apple tree, o he raced over. "Little devil, what are you doing up on my tree" 护园人发现一个小男孩偷偷钻进果园，爬上了一棵苹果树，就迅速走了过去。
“小家伙，你在我的树上做什么” "Look here, ir, an apple fell off your tree, o I"m trying to put it up again!" the boy replied holding the apple in hi hand. “看这里，先生，一个苹果从您的树上掉了下来，所以我想把它重新挂上去!”小男孩举着手里的苹果回答说。
![[短小的英文小笑话大全] 小学生短笑话大全爆笑](https://img.taocdn.com/s1/m/bd5d5077453610661ed9f4dc.png)
[短小的英文小笑话大全] 小学生短笑话大全爆笑笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。
透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。
小编整理了短小的英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!短小的英文小笑话篇一Psychiatrist: What’s your problem?Patient: I think I’m a : How long has thisbeen going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
短小的英文小笑话篇二Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice hesaid to his wife: “When I’m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones.”Wife: “No, I can’t marryanyone after you.”Johnson: “But I want you to.”Wife: “But why?”Johnson: “Jones once cheatedme in a horse deal!”老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
”约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。
”妻子：“为什么?”约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。
”短小的英文小笑话篇三As he lay on his de athbed, the man confided to his wife, “I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I’ve slept with dozens of them.”His wife looked at him calmly and said, “Why do you think I gave you thepoison?”一个男人在临死之前向他的妻子倾诉说：“我死之前必须告诉你一些事情的真相。
儿童英语笑话汇总下面是店铺整理的儿童英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!儿童英语笑话：Two Birds 两只鸟It's a night. John is looking at the sky.这是一个晚上。
约翰抬头看着天空。
Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”汤姆是约翰的弟弟。
他问约翰：“你在干什么?”John says, “I’m counting stars.”约翰说：“我在数星星。
”Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。
你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”儿童英语笑话：Three Turtles 三只乌龟Tony and his father are eating dinner.托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”突然，托尼问他的爸爸：“爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗?”Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It’s a silly question.”爸爸皱眉说：“我想不好吃。
你怎么会问这个问题?这可是一个愚蠢的问题。
”But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”可是托尼说：“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。
”儿童英语笑话：Tell a lieMom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多?”维克多：“我要那只最大的。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养，Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。
儿童英语笑话带翻译大全民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
但是它却一直被学界视为不登大雅之堂的小众,研究工作相对薄弱。
下面是店铺带来的儿童英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!儿童英语笑话带翻译篇一It was so late. Frank lay in bed and demanded his mother to peel the apple for him.天很晚了。
弗兰克躺在床上，要妈妈给他削苹果吃。
"It's so late, sonny, that apples have already gone to bed."“孩子，太晚了，苹果已经睡觉了。
”"No, they won't, mama. The small apples may have gone to bed, but the big ones mustn't."“不，不会的，妈妈。
小苹果可能睡了，但大苹果一定没有睡。
”儿童英语笑话带翻译篇二A boy had eaten a lot of cookies, but he wanted more.一个男孩吃了很多饼干，但还想吃。
His father said to him, "Don't eat any more, or your stomach will explode."他的父亲对他说：“不要再吃了，不然你的肚子就会爆炸。
”The boy said, "Never mind. When I'm eating once again, you can stand aside."男孩说：“不要紧。
我再吃时，你可以躲开。
”儿童英语笑话带翻译篇三Tommy: "How is your little brother, Johnny?"汤米：“约翰，你的弟弟好吗?”Johnny: "He is ill in bed. He hurt himself."约翰尼：“他生病卧床了，他伤着了自己。
儿童英语笑话大全爆笑简短儿童英语笑话可以是简单、幽默，而且易于理解的，下面是一些简短且有趣的笑话：1. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 (ate) 9!2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!3. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.4. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese!5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!7. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.9. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!11. How do bees get to school? By the school buzz!12. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip!13. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.14. What room has no doors or windows? A mushroom!15. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!16. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner!"17. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!18. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.19. What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.21. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!22. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!23. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!24. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!25. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.26. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.27. Why did the kid study in the airplane? He wanted a higher education!28. What did the little corn say to the mama corn? "Where is popcorn?"29. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.30. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!这些笑话不仅适合儿童，也能让大人会心一笑。
爆笑经典儿童英语笑话大全
A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.
Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.
The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.
A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.
The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.
A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year. . . unless it is the only food in the fridge.
The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.
My three-year-old daughter and I went shopping with my mother.
She is a rather large woman, Mom sometimes has a tough time finding just the right fit.
When my mother picked out a yellow suit, my daughter went into the dressing room with her.
A moment later Mom asked her how she liked the outfit.
My daughter replied, "Oh, Nana, you look so pretty... just like a big yellow school bus."
The suit stayed in the dressing room.
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
One day a little girl went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come from?"
Her mother stammered a bit, but finally regained her composure. She thought it must be time that her daughter learned the facts of life.
So, she told her daughter about how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born.
As she explained, her daughter's eyes got wider and wider.
When she was finished, the little girl said "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Uncle Joe told me. He said that he came from Virginia."
It was little Michael's first visit to the country, and feeding the chickens fascinated him.
Early one morning, Michael caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting around in the yard. Rushing indoors excitedly, Michael looked for his grandmother.
"Oh, Granny," he exclaimed, "one of the chickens is in bloom!"
感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。
