老友记Friends第一季第3集 0：00 - 3：35

【101】The One Where Monica Gets a NewRoommate记得刚开始看时,有个问题总是让我困惑,即为什么每一集(episode)的名字都叫做"The One ****",后来总算搞清楚了,原来它是the one with... 或者the one where,或者the one which...的意思,有时候甚至简写成TOW,呵呵,怎么样,明白了么?OK,让我们进入正题。

第一集是试播(Pilot),主要情节如下,瑞秋在教堂抛弃未婚夫巴利、逃婚到莫妮卡处。

莫妮卡和调酒师(Wine Guy)保罗约会,此君伪装成离婚后一蹶不振的苦命人,靠博取同情来骗女人上床。

罗斯婚姻失败,因为他的老婆被证实居然是同性恋,所以情绪低落。

乔伊安慰他说,女性的种类与Ice Cream一样多,离婚未尝不是好事。

大家一同看西班牙肥皂剧并信口瞎猜剧情。

罗斯自高中起即爱慕瑞秋,此刻死灰复燃,提议和她约会,瑞秋答应了。

这一集绝对是整个Friends的基石,所谓pilot就是如果播的不好,立马cancel的那种,所以无论剧情语言还有表演都非常精彩,这一集里面六个人都露面了,我立马就喜欢上了一脸坏笑的"幼兽"Joey(嘿嘿,一看就是我这种类型嘛),憨憨厚厚的Ross, 未经世事的Rachel, 直爽坦白的"商贩"Chandler,成熟而又略带神经质的Monica,以及童趣无邪的Phoebe….以下是我觉得有意思的一些词句,一一讲解。

1.Chandler :So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?这是Chandler挖苦Paul的话,意思是:他有驼背么?有假发的驼子?2.Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck..这段话是不是很熟悉呀?对,《大话西游》里面一开始孙猴子发狠就是这样子讲的哦,不知道是谁抄袭谁,意思不用我解释了吧,这里Ross用来形容妻子Carol是Lesbian并同他离婚后的心情。

Hi, guys!Hey, Pheebs! Hi!Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said'We should do this again!'What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again'means 'You will never see me naked'.Since when?Since always. It's like dating language.Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.Or 'You're such a nice guy' means'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholicsand complaining about them to youOr, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.- And everybody knows this? - Yeah. Cushions the blow. Yeah, it's like when you're a kid,and your parents put your dog to sleep,and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.That's funny, that, no, because,uh, our parents actually did, uh,send our dog off to live on a farm.Uh, Ross.What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut?The Millners,they had this unbelievable farm,and horses, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- ..... Oh, my God, Chi Chi!"So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?" "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over.But you'll have to live with the knowledge thatyou sent an honest man to die."Hey, that was really good!Yeah? Thanks! Let's keep going.Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?""I just wanna go back to my cell.'Cause in my cell, I can smoke.""Smoke away."I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. - What? - Relax your hand! Let your wrist go.Not so much!Alright, now try taking a puff.Okay.Okay. No. Give it to me.No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.It's fine, it's fine.Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.All right, now.Don't think of it as a cigarette.Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.- Y'miss it? - Nah, not so much.Alright, now we smoke.Oh..my..God.No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distancefrom the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger. That's ridiculous!Can I use.. either thumb?Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me!Decaf cappucino for Joey..Coffee black..Late..and an iced tea.- I'm getting pretty good at this! - Yeah. Yeah, excellent. Good for me!Y'okay, Phoebe?Yeah no- I'm just- it's, it's not even worth...It's my bank.What did they do to you?It's nothing, it's just- Okay.I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-Easy, easy...and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.Oh, Satan's minions at work again...Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. What are you talking about? Keep it!It's not mine, I didn't earn it,if I kept it, it would be like stealing.Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took?'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.'And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping-I'd hear'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'... We're with you. We got it.Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it.It would be like this giant karmic debt.Chandler, what're you doing?hey,what are you doing?Oh! Oh, God!What is this?!I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.Oh, I can't believe you!You've been so good, for three years!And this- is my reward!Hold on a second, alright?Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. Okay, so this time I won't quit!Ohhh! Put it out!All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out.Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.So is it Alan again? How's it goin'?'S'going pretty good, y'know?It's nice, and, we're having fun.So when do we get to meet the guy?Yeah!Let's see, today's Monday...Never.Oh, come on! Come on!-No. Not after what happened with Steve.What are you talking about? We love Schhteve!Schhteve was schhexy!..Sorry.Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet.Just give me a chance to figure that out.Well, then can we meet him?I mean, why should I let them meet him?I mean, I bring a guy home,and within five minutes they're all over him.I mean, they're like- coyotes,picking off the weak members of the herd.Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing.Come on now, they're your friends,- they're just looking out after you. - I know.I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy homethat they actually liked.Well, you do realise that the odds of that happening are a little slimmer - if they never get to meet the guy.Let it go, Ross.Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.Do you all promise?Yeah! We promise!We'll be good!Chandler? Do you promise to be good?You can come in,but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!Hey, Pheebs.'Dear Ms. Buffay.Thank you for calling attention to our error.We have credited your account with five hundred dollars.We're sorry for the inconvenience,and hope you'll accept this football phone...as our free gift.'Do you believe this?!Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!What bank is this?Hey. It's him.- Who is it? - It's Alan.Chandler! He's here!Okay, please be good, please.Just remember how much you all like me.Hi. Alan, this is everybody.Everybody, this is Alan.Hi, Alan.I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow.Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin.Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?C'mon!...I'll go.Let's start with the way he kept picking at-You know, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do it.We loved him.Loved him! Yeah! He's great!Wait a minute! We're talking about someone thatI'm going out with?-Yeah!And did you notice...?Know what was great?The way his smile was kinda crooked.Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!...What shoe?From the nursery rhyme.'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'...So I think Alanwill become the yardstick against whichall future boyfriends will be measured.What future boyfriends?No, no, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.-Really!Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for hisDavid Hasselhof impression alone.You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? You know what I like most about him, though? What?The way he makes me feel about myself.How was the game?Well..WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!That's fantastic! I have one question:How is that possible?Alan.He was unbelievable.He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoonwhere Bugs is playing all the positions, right,but instead of Bugs it wasfirst base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellersa thing or two about softball..Nice!Can I ask you guys a question?D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. What?...I dunno, a little too Alan?Well, no. That's impossible.You can never be too Alan.Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.I personally could have a gallon of Alan.- Hey, Lizzie. - Hey, Weird Girl.I brought you alphabet soup.Did you pick out the vowels?Yes. But I left in the Ys.'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y".Uh, I also have something else for you.Saltines?No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? What? Oh, my God, Oh, my God, there's really money in here.I know.Weird Girl, what are you doing?No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.No, that's fine, you don't..Would you like my tin-foil hat?No. 'Cause you need that.No, it's okay, thanks.Please, let me do something.Okay, alright, I'll tell you what,you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?- Okay. - Okay.Keep the change.Thanks, Lizzie.Sure you don't wanna pretzel?- No, I'm fine.Thanks. - See ya.A thumb?!I know! I know,I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there,like this tiny little hitch-hiker!like this tiny little hitch-hiker!Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know?Like, collect all five?- Does, um, anyone wanna see? - Nooo!- Oh, hey, don't do that! - Cut it out!It's worse than the thumb!Hey, this is so unfair!Oh, why is it unfair?So I have a flaw! Big deal?Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs?I mean, what the hell is that thing?I accept all those flaws,why can't you accept me for this?...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody,Well, I-I could live without it.Well, is it, like, a little annoying,or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right?I think it's endearing.Oh, "you do, do you"?You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. "Indeed there isn't"...I should really get back to work.Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might getwhat they actually ordered.The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.Did you ever go out with a guyyour friends all really like?No.Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like. Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here?All right, a cow got through!Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing.I mean, they feel the thing,I don't feel the thing.Honey.. you should always "feel" the thing.Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy,Monica, dump him!I know.. it's gonna be really hard.Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.No, he'll be fine.It's the other five I'm worried about.Do you have any respect for your body?Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself? Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guysand your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it. Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.Really? He does?Hey, buddy, what's up!Oh, she told you about that, huh.Well, yeah, I have one now and then.Well, yeah, now.Well, it's not that big- ..Well, that's true,..Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks!God, he's good.- If only he were a woman. - Yeah.- If only he were a woman. - Yeah.Ooh, Lambchop.How old is that sock?If I had a sock on my hand for thirty yearsit'd be talking too.Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. Hey. Where's Joey?Joey ate my last stick of gum,so I killed him.Do you think that was wrong?- I think he's across the hall. - Thanks.There y'go.Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?Hey, I might!I'm sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave meseven thousand dollars for the thumb.- Oh, my God. - 7 thousand dollars?And on my way over here, I stepped in gum....What is up with the universe?!What's going on?Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together. Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..- Uh, Joey.. - Oh, God!- Okay.. - Oh! That was Lambchop!Please, guys, we have to talk.Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...No, I'm not.Alright, we have to talk.There it is!Okay. It's-it's about Alan.There's something that you should know.I mean, there's really no easy way to say this..I've decided to break up with Alan.Is there somebody else?No, nononono.. it's just..y'know, things change. People change.We didn't change..So that's it? It's over?Just like that?You know.. you let your guard down,you start to really care about someone, and I just- I-- Look, I- I could go on pretending. - Okay!No, but that wouldn't be fair to me,it wouldn't be fair to Alan.It wouldn't be fair to you!Yeah, who wants fair?I mean, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. I'm sorry..Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!I just can't believe this!I mean, with the holidays coming up-I wanted him to meet my family-I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.Oh, yeah! Right!Are you guys gonna be okay?Hey hey, we'll be fine.We're just gonna need a little time.I understand.I'm, I'm really sorry.Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry too.But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.Relieved?Yeah, well, I had a great time with you..I just can't stand your friends.Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.Yeah. He could row like a viking.So how'd it go?Oh, y'know..Did did he mention us?He said he's really gonna miss you guys.You had a rough day, huh?-Oh, you have no idea...C'mere.- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. - No no no!I don't care, I don't care!Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke!I've gotta have the smoke!If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars! Yeah, alright.第一季第三集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.。

丁小文：Rachel王润苗：Mon ica朱楠楠：Phoebe宋明冬：Chandler刘阿庆：Ross杨鹏：Joey[Sce ne: Cen tral Park, Chan dler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Cen tral Park: 中央公园，坐落于纽约曼哈顿市中心-Moni ca: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！-Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！-Chan dler: All right Joey, be ni ce. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?打住，Joey，嘴下留德。

他驼背？既驼背又带假发？-Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?慢着，他吃粉笔吗？(They all stare, bemused.)stare: 盯，凝视bemuse:发呆-Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!我只是不想她重蹈我和Carl的覆辙。

-Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just twopeople going out to dinner and not hav ing sex.各位别急，这不算约会。

Friends老友记精讲第一季第一集第十五期剧情简介莫妮卡与保罗在餐厅约会，吃饭期间，保罗支支吾吾的向莫妮卡说，自己因为受了情伤，已经两年没有ML。

莫妮卡惊得一口水吐在保罗的身上，答应了保罗第五次约会的请求。

文本：Paul: Ever since she walked out on me , I, uh...Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles ? Paul: No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation . Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?Paul: Isn't there?Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say? Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform . (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ... Sexually . Monica: ( spitting out her drink in shock ) Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...Paul: It's okay...Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?Paul: Two years.Monica: Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watchPaul: So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date? Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.知识点单词&短语（1）walk out on somebody/something突然的结束与某人/某事的关系She walked out on her husband and two children after 12 years of marriage.置12年的婚姻不顾，她还是（突然）离开了丈夫和小孩。

So what happened? Did a forest tick you off?We always say we need a place for the mail.I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step. You're building a post office?No,an entertainment unit, with a built-in mail cubby.It's a one-day job,max.My word,those are snug!These are my old work pants.Sergio Valente.Power saw kind of got away from me there.The One With Frank Jr.Hey,Pheebs. Any sign of your brother?No,but he's always late.-I thought you only met him once. -I did.I think it sounds big sister-y, "Frank's always late."Well,relax. He'll be here.I know. I'm just nervous.It's just,Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister......Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately.It's just the "last-desperate- chance-to-have-a-family" kind of thing. You're sweet to wait with me.Actually,Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here. Does anyone else think David Copperfield's cute?No. But he told me he thinks you're a fox.All right. Janice likes him.In fact,she likes him so much, she put him on her "freebie" list.Her what?We have a deal where we each pick five celebrities we could sleep with... ...and the other one can't get mad.The heart of every healthy relationship:Honesty,respect and sex with celebrities.So who's on your list?IKim Basinger...... Cindy Crawford,Halle Berry......Yasmine Bleeth......and Jessica Rabbit.You do realize that she is a cartoon, and way out of your league?I know. I just wonder if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.Who would yours be?First,I need a boyfriend. Then I can have a list.It's just a game,Mon.Rach,how about you?I don't know. I guess Chris O'Donnell,John F. IKennedy Jr...... Daniel Day-Lewis,Sting and Parker Stevenson.Spiderman?Hardy Boy.-Peter Parker. -Thank you.What about you,honey? Who'd be on your list?That kind of thing requires some serious thought.First,I'd divide my prospective candidates into categories.What a geek!Everybody,this is Frank! My half brother,Frank!This is everybody.-This is Ross. -How are you?This is Monica.And this is Rachel.I'm gonna get coffee for us.Hey,how do you guys get anything done?We don't,really.Do you guys have big plans?Oh,yeah. We're gonna connect and bond and everything.I thought we could go down to Times Square and pick up some ninja stars. My friend,Larry,he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.We really don't take advantage of living in the city.Oh,sorry. Did I get you?No,you didn't "get" me!It's an electric drill!You "get" me,you kill me!Calm down! Do you want this unit or not?I do not want this unit!You should've told me before. I'm not a mind reader.And we're out of beer. I'm going to Monica's.Fine!Where you heading in those pants? 1982?I saw down at the hardware store,they got those designer tiles on sale... ...if you wanna redo your bathroom floor.What's wrong with my bathroom floor?Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all.I highly doubt that.If you move your hamper......you see how the tile used to be.I can't live like this! What are we gonna do?Relax. Here,hold this.This old stuff comes right up. I'll show you.A little more than I wanted to see.Look at that! Every inch of this is glued down!It'd take forever to pry this up. You should just leave it.I can't leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor!There. There you go.Yeah,that's nice.We can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!I know what I wanted to ask you. Can you roll your tongue? Because I can and my mom couldn't.And I figured that was something I got from our dad.Well,wait,you mean like this?Yeah,you can do it too. Yeah.You're not doing it.Oh,right. Okay. Yeah,my mom could and I can't.We don't have that.When's your birthday?February 16th.I know a guy who's the 18th.That's close.When's yours?October 25th.That's the same month as Halloween.So what kind of things do you like to do at home?Melt stuff.-Okay,I've got three of my five. -Three of your five what? Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with.God,you're giving this a lot of thought.Hey,it's hard,okay? I only have two spots left.All right. Who you got it narrowed down to?Elizabeth Hurley.Very attractive.Forgiving.Susan Sarandon.You know what? She's too political.She'd probably make you donate four cans of food first.And lsabella Rossellini.Very hot. Very sexy.But she's too international. She's never gonna be around.-So? -So you gotta play the odds.Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country all the time.Yeah. Because that's why you won't get lsabella Rossellini. Geography. Okay. So by "melting" you meant melting.So is it,like,art?Yeah,you can melt art.Hey,can I use your phone?-Sure. You want to call your mom? -No,I want to melt it.Oh. Well,not right now.I'm gonna go to bed. The fumes are giving me a headache. So....Good night,"bro."Good night.Here.Just in case.Oh,excellent!-What kind of karate is that? -No kind.He just makes it up.-How's it going with you guys? -So far it kind of blows.I don't know,I just thought he'd feel more like a brother.Like you and Ross. Close and connected and....We're close now. You wouldn't believe the years......of noogies,and wedgies,and flying wedgies,and atomic wedgies and.... That's when the waistband goes over your head.We drove each other crazy playing the shadow game.-How do you play the shadow game? -How do you play the shadow game? -I just asked you. -I just asked you.I don't have time for this.-That is what the game is. -You just gave up really quickly.-Seen Joey? -What's the matter?Oh,just this!It's my fault,really,because the couch is where we keep the varnish. Somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles?-What's going on? -He's retiling my floor.Spackle boy!-Get up! -You started this,you'll finish it!He started mine first!Build the unit,Cinderellie Lay the tile,CinderellieBig octopus.Oh,my God! I totally forgot!Well,can't someone else do it?But I have company.Look,that's all right. I'll come in.I'm sorry, but I have to go into work.It's one of my regulars who's insisting that I do him,so.... Hey,what kind of work do you do?I'm a masseuse.I give people massages and stuff.You work at one of those massage parlors?Well,you know,we don't call it that. But,yeah.That's wild.No,I had no idea.Alrighty.I'll be back in a little bit.Unless you want to come with me.You mean,like,watch?No. No,you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house. What are big sisters for?Well,I don't think this. You know?No. No,no. I wouldn't do you myself.I mean,that would be weird.I'll get one of the other girls to do it.This is so much fun!Are you excited?Hey,do Monica and Rachel work there?It's beautiful!It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was!What are you going in there for?You want,like,a number?Hi. Bye.Okay. I'm done with my choices.These are final.-Well,it's about time. -Yeah. Very official.Oh,yeah. Well,you know,Chandler printed it up on his computer. And who laminated it?That was me.All right,let me see."Uma Thurman,Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley...... Michelle Pfeiffer...... Dorothy Hamill"?Hey,it's my list!You do realize she only spins like that on ice?“舒活之家”-What's going on? -She broke my arm!-He touched my fanny. -She touched mine first!That's my job!So what's the deal? I can have sex with you but I can't touch you?-You can't have sex with her! -Did you think I was a hooker? No,okay. I know. You're a masseuse. It's cool. I'm not a cop! Ask Mr. Wiffler if he can wait for five minutes.Fine.I don't like you.So that's what you thought I did? God!That's not what I do!Wait,that's not what you do?No!Why would you think that?I don't know. This is the city, you know? I just....I mean...... I don't know.Whatever. It's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyway. Oh,wait.No,you're right. No,it was perfect.I can't believe I screwed it up so bad.You thought it was perfect?Well,no,maybe it wasn't perfect...... but you know,it was pretty cool, you know?Because we had all those great talks,you know?Which ones in particular were great for you?Well,you know,about the tongue thing,you know?And how I told you about my likes and my dislikes.How I like to melt stuff,and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt. Right. Okay.I feel like I can really talk to you because you're my sister,you know? Yeah. I guess I do.And then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.Well,I wasn't hopping mad, you know?You hopped a little bit.Yeah,I'm really sorry. You know,I'm really....Okay.Well,this is my favorite part of the weekend. Right now. This. This?Oh,come on. We went to Times Square.We found ninja stars. I almost get my arm broken by a hookerShe's not a hooker.When I tell my friends about her, she will be.On 3!1,2Why don't we just go on 2?Why 2?Because it's faster.I could've counted to 3 four times without all the "2" talk.-All right,but in the future -Heavy thing! Not getting lighter!1,2So we are going with two?A good job,Joe.Wow.It's big.So big it actually makes our doors look smaller.Maybe my ruler's wrong.Maybe all the rulers are wrong.It's not that bad. So it blocks a little of your door,a little of mine.I got a better idea.How about it blocks none of my door, and a lot of your door? Listen,before I forget, that side is still wet.Let me just see if I've got this right.So this is a half-caf,double-tall, easy hazelnut...... nonfat,no foam,with whip, extra-hot latte,right?Okay. Great.You freak.Thank you.A coffee to go,please.Isabella Rossellini!Are you serious? Oh,my God!Damn! I cannot believe I took her off my list!Why? Because otherwise you'd go for it?Yeah,maybe.You lie.You don't think I'd go up to her?It took you 10 years to finally admit you liked me.Yeah? Well,missy,you better be glad that list is laminated.You know what,honey? You go ahead. We'll call her an alternate. Hold my cruller.Are you really gonna let him do this?He's about to go hit on lsabella Rossellini.I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn.I'm Ross.You don't know me, but I'm a big,big fan of yours.I mean......Blue Velvet.I was wondering if I could maybe buy you a cup of coffee.Or reimburse you for that one.Aren't you with that girl over there?Well,yeah,kind of.But that's okay. We have an understanding.We each have this list of five famous people,and you were one of mine. So I'm allowed to sleep with you.It's flattering.I don't knowWait. Wait,lsabella.Don't dismiss this so fast. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Yeah,for you.Is that the list?-Yes. -Can I see it?-Come on. -But Okay.I'm not on the list!But that's not the final draft.It's laminated.Okay,see,you were on my list.But then my friend,Chandler...... brought up the point that you are international.So I bumped you for Winona Ryder. Local.You know,it's ironic, because I have a list......of five goofy coffeehouse guys.And yesterday,I just bumped you for that guy over there. We're just gonna be friends.You know what?Bet you I could fit in there.I got five bucks says you can't.Get out your checkbook,mister.Oh,I think I have the cash.You are dog,man!I totally fit!Yeah. You got me.I'm out five big ones.There you go.Thank you.Oh,well,hello,Mr. Lincoln!Better luck next time,buddy!And the drinks are on me!334。

101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!Joey: Come on, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler:All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe:Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!Monica:Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.[Time Lapse]Chandler:Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.Joey: Instead of...?Chandler: That's right.Joey: Never had that dream.Phoebe: No.Chandler:All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me![Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?Ross:I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...Chandler: Cookie?Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy. Monica: No you don't.Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?101 试播没啥好说的！他不过是我的同事！少来了，你和那个人一起出去！拜托，和你交往的男人一定有问题！打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。