商英写作笔记

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We-viewpoint:1. A large sale of our products will makeour company more profitable.2.We are in need of fund and you mustpay …3.We can not offer you any refund…4.Obviously you forget telling us thecolor…5.I am happy to report…6.We are pleases to have your newaccount.7.We make Willet razor in threeweights—light, medium, and heavy.8.XXX You-viewpoint:1. A good sale of the products willbenefit you.2.To maintain your excellent credit,please remit…3.You could obtain a refund if …4.Please indicate your choice of color…5.You will happy to know …6.Your new charge account is now openfor your convenience.7.So that you can choose the one razorthat is just right for your beard,Willet makes razors for you in threeweights--light, medium, and heavy.Negative tone:1.We cannot deliver until Friday.2.We regret to inform you that wemust deny your request for credit.3.You were wrong in your conclusion,for paragraph 3 of our agreementclearly states … Positive tone:1.We can deliver the good on Friday.2.For the time being, we can serve youonly on a cash basis.3.You will agree after readingparagraph 3 of our agreement that …Positive tone--Techniques◆State ideas using positive languageDon’t forget to submit your report…We can’t ship your goods until…You neglect to indicate the specification …Now that we are short of funds, we have to put the proposed project aside. Remember to submit …You will receive your goo ds …Please send the complete specification …If we solve the financial problem, we will start the project.◆Avoid using second person when stating negative ideasYou made numerous mistakes on this page. This page contains numerous mistakes. (Preferred) You keyed a perfect copy. (Preferred)◆Use passive voice to convey negative ideasXXX did not proofread this proposal carefully.The proposal was not proofread carefullyXXX completed the job two months behind the schedule.The job was completed……◆Use subjunctive mood for negative informationI cannot accept the recommendation.I wish I could accept the recommendationI am not able to accept your invitation.I could accept your invitation if I were to cancel my meeting on …◆Include a pleasant statement in the same sentenceYour personal ratings for communication ability were satisfactory.Your personal ratings for communication ability were satisfactory, but your rate for technical competence was excellent.Dull and stiff Style:Please be advised that you should sign the form before the 1st.Kindly advise at an early date.I herewith hand you …Thanking you in advance …Conversational Style:Please sign the form before the 1st.Please let me know soon.Here is …I’ll sincerely appreciate…Formal Informal终止terminate end取得procure get给予报酬remunerate pay解释,说明Elucidate explain使用utilize useDear Sirs, we are sorry you have misunderstood us. XDears Sirs, we are sorry we didn’t make ourselves clear. (√)We cannot understand why you have had trouble with these articles.XWe presume that there must be some reasons for you having trouble with these articles. (√) I write to send my congratulations. XCongratulations to you on your promotion!√We won’t be able to send you the brochure this month.XWe will send you the brochure next month.√Your letter is not clear at all. I can’t understand it.XIf I understand your letter correctly…(tactful)√CorrectnessA. with pronounsOur competitors were more successful than ours. usB. with adjectivesThe two first items are not available.First twoC. with articleEnclosed is the copy of receipt.A copyD. with verbsNeither of the offers are acceptable.isA block of flats are being built.isE. with adverbsWe had a quite successful meeting.Quite aF. with conjunctionsHe not only built houses, but also flats.Built not onlyG. Sentence fragment: lacks either a subject (Actor) or verb (Action).My research report in business communication took a long time to prepare. And turned out badly.to prepare, but it turned out…H. Comma splice: two sentences are incorrectly joined or spliced together with a comma.Profits were down in 2010, the Board blamed the recession.Profits were down in 2010. The Board blamed the recession.I. Run-on sentence: joins two complete thoughts without proper punctuation.Employees want to keep their jobs they will work hard for promotions.Employees want to keep their jobs. They will work hard for promotions.J. Misplaced elementsWe have taken the check to the bank, which was unsigned.We have taken the check which was unsigned to the bank.K. Dangling modifiersTo create that bar chart, the information must be keyed into a spreadsheet (电子数据表)file.To create that bar chart, you must key the information into a spreadsheet file.ConcisenessEliminate surplus wordsexactly identical, past history, advance forward, brief summary, honest truth, hot water heaterClarityThey have a decided advantage in regard to freight. (Poor)They have a decided advantage in regard to freight charges (运费). (Better)They informed Messrs. Smith and Richardson that they would receive an answer in a few days. (Poor)They informed Messrs. Smith and Richardson that the latter would receive an answer in a few days. (Better)ConcretenessOur apples are excellent.Our apples are juicy, crispy and tender. (Concrete)Smithton Company is our big buyer.Smithton Company did more than one million USD worth of business with us in 2010. (Concrete) These brakes can stop a car within a short distance.These Goodson power brakes can stop a 2-ton car within 24 feet. (Concrete)A decision has been made to set up an office in Osaka.The board of directors decided to set up an office in Osaka. (Concrete)。