生活大爆炸第一季15英文剧本

Script compiled bywww.big-bang-forum.deTHE address for geeks and …The Big Bang Theory“ fans!THE BIG BANG THEORYbyChuck Lorre & Bill PradySeason 1, Episode 13 (s01e13)Title: The Bat Jar Conjecture---> Dialog only <---HOWARDOoh, more details about the newStar Trek film. There's going to bea scene depicting Spock's birth.RAJESHI'd be more interested in a scenedepicting Spock's conception.SHELDONOh, please. For Vulcans, mating,or, if you will, Pon farr... it'san extremely private matter.LEONARDStill, I'd like to know thedetails. His mother was human. Hisfather was Vulcan. They couldn'tjust conceive.HOWARDMaybe they had to go to a clinic.Can you imagine Spock's Dad in alittle room with a copy of PointyEars and Shapely Rears?RAJESHHow come on Star Trek everybody'sprivate parts are the same? Noalien lady ever told Captain Kirk,…Hey, get your thing out of mynose.“PENNYHi. Can you help me? I was writingan e-mail and the A key got stuck.Now it's just going, …Aaaah.“LEONARDWhat'd you spill on it?PENNYNothing. Diet Coke. And yogurt. And a little nail polish.LEONARDI'll take a look at it.HOWARDGentlemen, switching to local nerd news, Fishman, Chen, Chaudury and McNair aren't fielding a team inthe university Physics Bowl this year.LEONARDYou're kidding. Why not?HOWARDThey formed a barbershop quartet and got a gig playing Knott's Berry Farm.PENNYWow. So, in your world, you're like the cool guys.HOWARDRecognize.LEONARDUh-ha-ha. This is our year. With those guys out, the entire Physics Bowl will kneel before Zod.PENNYZod?HOWARDKryptonian villain. Long story.RAJESHGood story.SHELDONCount me out.LEONARDWhat? Why?SHELDONYou want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition? Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?LEONARDCome on, you need a four-person team. We're four people.SHELDONBy that reasoning we should also play Bridge, hold up a huppah and enter the Olympic bobsled competition.PENNYHa-ha, Tickets to that, please.LEONARDSheldon, what? Do I need to quote Spock's dying words to you?SHELDONNo, don't.LEONARD…The needs of the many...“HOWARD…Outweigh the needs of the few...“SHELDON…Or the one.“ Damn it, I'll do it.============================================ THEME SONG ===========================================RAJESHOkay, first order of Physics Bowl business. We need a truly kick-ass team name. Suggestions?HOWARDHow about the Perpetual Motion Squad? It's beyond the laws of physics, plus a little heads-up for the ladies.LEONARDThe ladies?HOWARDPerpetual Motion Squad... we can go all night.RAJESHI like it.SHELDONI don't. Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures, thus intimidating one's opponent.RAJESHThen we could be the Bengal tigers.SHELDONPoor choice. Gram for gram, no animal exceeds the relativefighting strength of the army ant.RAJESHMaybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.LEONARDLet's put it to a vote. All thosein favor...SHELDONPoint of order. I move that anyvote on team names must be unanimous. No man should be forced to emblazon his chest with a Bengal tiger when common sense dictates it should be an army ant.LEONARDWill the gentleman from the great State of denial yield for a question?SHELDONI will yield.LEONARDAfter we go through the exercise of an annoying series of votes, all of which the gentleman will lose, does he then intend to threaten to quit if he does not get his way?SHELDONHe does.LEONARDI move we are the Army Ants. All those in favor?PENNYGood afternoon and welcome totoday's Physics Bowl practice round. I'm Penny, and I'll be your host because apparently I didn't have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon, and isn't that just a little sad? Gentlemen, are you ready?LEONARDYes.SHELDONOf course.HOWARDFire away.PENNYYou know, it's none of my business, but isn't a guy who can't speak in front of women gonna hold you backa little?LEONARDOh, he'll be okay once the women are mixed into the crowd. He only has a problem when they're one-on-one and smell nice.PENNYOh, thanks, Raj. It's vanilla oil.LEONARDI was actually the one who noticed. Okay, let's just start.PENNYOkay, the first question is on the topic of optics.SHELDON…What is the shortest light pulse ever produced?“PENNYDr. Cooper.SHELDONAnd, of course, the answer is 130 attoseconds.PENNYThat is correct.LEONARDI knew that too.PENNYGood for you, sweetie. Okay, next question. …What is the quantum-mechanical effect used to encode data on hard-disk drives?“PENNYHoward.SHELDONAnd, of course, the answer is giant magnetoresistance.PENNYRight.HOWARDHey, I buzzed in.SHELDONAnd I answered. It's called teamwork.HOWARDDon't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.SHELDONBy that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.LEONARDJust ask another one.PENNYOkay.“What artificial satellite has seen glimpses of Einstein's predicted frame dragging?“SHELDONAnd, of course, it's Gravity Probe B.LEONARDSheldon, you have to let somebody else answer.SHELDONWhy?PENNYBecause it's polite.SHELDONWhat do manners have to do with it? This is war. Were the Romans polite when they salted the ground of Carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again?PENNYLeonard, you said I only had to ask questions.SHELDONThe objective of the competion isto give correct answers. If I know them, why shouldn't I give them?HOWARDSome of us might have the correct answers too.SHELDONOh, please. You don't even have a Ph.D.HOWARDAll right, that's it.LEONARDHoward, sit down.HOWARDOkay.LEONARDMaybe we should take a little break.SHELDONGood idea. I need my wrist brace. All this button pushing is aggravating my old Nintendo injury.HOWARDI agree.PENNYWhat did he say?HOWARDHe compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve.PENNYYeah, and the bag it came in.SHELDONLeonard, excellent. I wanna show you something.LEONARDCan it wait? I need to talk to you.SHELDONJust look. I've designed theperfect uniforms for our team. The colors are based on …Star Trek: The Original Series“. The three of you will wear support red, and I will wear command gold.LEONARDWhy do they say …AA“?SHELDONArmy Ants.LEONARDIsn't that confusing? AA might mean something else to certain people.SHELDONWhy would a Physics Bowl team be called Anodized Aluminum?LEONARDNo, I meant... Never mind. Hey, check it out, I got you a Batman cookie jar.SHELDONOh, neat. What's the occasion?LEONARDWell, you're a friend and you like Batman and cookies and you're off the team.SHELDONWhat?LEONARDHoward, Raj and I just had a team meeting.SHELDONNo, you didn't.LEONARDYes, we did. I just came from there.SHELDONOkay, I don't know where you just came from, but it could'nt have been a team meeting because Iwasn't there. Ergo, the team didnot meet.LEONARDOkay, let me try it this way. I was at a coffee klatch with a couple of friends, and one thing led to another, and it turns out you'reoff the team.SHELDONWhy?LEONARDBecause you're taking all the fun out of it.SHELDONI'm sorry, is the winner of the Physics Bowl the team that has the most fun?LEONARDOkay, let me try it this way.You're annoying and no one wants to play with you anymore.SHELDONI see. Well, at this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears.LEONARDThanks for the heads up.SHELDONYou're welcome. One more thing.LEONARDYes?SHELDONIt's on, bitch.HOWARDSo who did he get to be on histeam?LEONARDHe won't say. He just smiles and eats macaroons out of his Bat-Jar.RAJESHHe's using psychological warfare. We must reply in kind. I say wewait until he looks at us, then laugh like, …Yes, you are a smart and strong competitor, but we are also smart and strong, and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you.“LEONARDHow exactly would that laugh go?RAJESHHee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!HOWARDThat sounds more like: …We are a tall, thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians.“LEONARDGuys, let's remember that Sheldonis still our friend and my roommate.HOWARDSo?LEONARDSo nothing. Let's destroy him.SHELDONGentlemen.RAJESHHee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!HOWARDOkay, we're gonna need a strong fourth for our team.RAJESHYou know who is apparently very smart is the girl who played TV's Blossom. She got a Ph.D. in neuroscience or something.LEONARDRaj, we're not getting TV's Blossom to join our Physics Bowl team.RAJESHHow about the girl from …The Wonder Years“?HOWARDGentlemen, I believe I've found thesolution to all our problems.LEONARDWe can't ask Leslie Winkle.RAJESHWhy? Because you slept together, and when she was done with you she discarded you like last night's chutney?LEONARDYes.HOWARDSometimes you gotta take one forthe team.RAJESHYeah. Sack up, dude.LEONARDFine. Here I go, taking one for the team... in the sack. Hey, Leslie.LESLIEHi, guys.LEONARDSo, ahem. Leslie, I have a question for you, and it might be a little awkward, you know, given that I...HOWARDHit that thing.LESLIELeonard, there's no reason to feel uncomfortable just because we've seen each other's faces and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus.LEONARDThere's not? Gee, 'cause it sure sounds like there should be.LESLIERest assured that any aspects of our sexual relationship regarding your preferences, your idiosyncrasies, your performance are still protected by the inherent confidentiality of the bedroom.LEONARDThat's all very comforting, but if it's okay, I'd like to get on to my question now.LESLIEProceed.LEONARDWe are entering the Physics Bowl, and we need a fourth for our team.LESLIENo, thanks. I'm really busy with my like-sign dilepton supersymmetry search.RAJESHDilepton, shmylepton. We need you.LESLIESorry.HOWARDWell, we tried. We'll just have to face Sheldon mano y mano y mano a mano.LESLIEWait, you're going up against Sheldon Cooper?HOWARDYes.LESLIEThat arrogant, misogynistic, East Texas doorknob that told me I should abandon my work with high-energy particles for laundry and childbearing?LEONARDShe's in.PENNYSo, how do you feel? Nice and loose? Come to play? Got your game face on? Are you ready?LEONARDYeah. You know, you don't have to stay for the whole thing.PENNYOh, no, no. I want to. Soundsreally interesting.LEONARDOkay.SHELDONGentlemen.LEONARDSheldon.HOWARDSheldon.RAJESHHee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!PENNYSheldon. I'm just gonna sit down.LEONARDSo is that your team?SHELDONActually, I don't need a team. I could easily defeat you single-handedly, but the rules require four. So may I introduce the third-floor janitor, the lady from the lunch room, and my Spanish is not good, either her son or her butcher. And what about your team? What rat have you recruited to the S.S. Sinking Ship?LESLIEHello, Sheldon.SHELDONLeslie Winkle.LESLIEYeah, Leslie Winkle. The answer to the question: …Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?“SHELDONYes. Well, I'm polymerized tree sap, and you're an inorganic adhesive. So whatever verbal projectile you launch in mydirection is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.LESLIEOh, ouch!DR. GABLEHAUSEROkay, if everyone could please take your seats.LEONARDHere's your T-shirt.LESLIEPMS? It's a couple days early.LEONARDNo. It stands for Perpetual Motion Squad.LESLIEOh, right, of course. What was I thinking?DR. GABLEHAUSERGood afternoon, everyone, and welcome to this year's Physics Bowl. Today's preliminary match features two great teams: AAversus... PMS.HOWARDAll night long, y'all.DR. GABLEHAUSEROkay, well, let's jump right in. First question. For 10 points. …What is the isospin singletpartner of the pi-zero meson?“DR. GABLEHAUSERPMS?LEONARDThe eta meson.DR. GABLEHAUSERCorrect.SHELDONFormal protest.DR. GABLEHAUSEROn what grounds?SHELDONThe Velcro on my wrist brace caught on my shirt.DR. GABLEHAUSERDenied. All right, for 10 points. …What is the lightest element on Earth with no stable isotope?“ AA?SHELDONAnd, of course, the answer is technetium.DR. GABLEHAUSERTerrific. Next question. …What is the force between two uncharged plates due to quantum vacuum fluctuations?“ PMS?RAJESHAnd Sheldon can suck on... the Casimir effect.DR. GABLEHAUSERCorrect. How does a quantum computer factor large numbers? PMS?LESLIEShor's algorithm.DR. GABLEHAUSERCorrect.SHELDONFoiur-point-one-eight-five-five times 10 to the seventh ergs per calorie.LEONARDPrévost's theory of exchanges.SHELDONLambda equals one over pi-R-squared N.HOWARDSeven hundred and sixty degrees Celsius. The approximatetemperature of the young lady inthe front row.DR. GABLEHAUSERMr. Wolowitz, this is your second warning.SHELDONA sigma particle.LESLIEYes, assuming the hypothetical planet has a mass greater than the Earth.DR. GABLEHAUSERCorrect. Ladies and gentlemen, I hold in my hand the final question. The score now stands. AA, 1150, PMS, 1175. So for 100 points andthe match, please turn yourattention to the formula on the screens. Solve the equation.RAJESHHoly crap.LEONARDWhat the hell is that?HOWARDLooks like something they found on the ship at Roswell.LEONARDCome on, think. Leslie?LESLIELeonard, it's not gonna work if you rush me. You have to let me get there.LEONARDYou're never gonna let that go, are you?DR. GABLEHAUSERTen seconds. PMS?LEONARDSorry, I panicked.HOWARDThen guess.LEONARDUm... Eight. Point four.DR. GABLEHAUSERI'm sorry, that's incorrect. AA, if you can answer correctly, the match is yours.HOWARDHe doesn't have it. He's got squat.DR. GABLEHAUSERAA, I need your answer.DMITRIThe answer is minus eight pi alpha.SHELDONHang on, hang on a second. That's not our answer. What are you doing?DMITRIAnswering question. Winning Physics Bowl.SHELDONHow do you know anything about physics?DMITRIHere I am janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist. Leningrad Politechnika. Go, Polar Bears.SHELDONWell, that's a delightful little story, but our arrangement was that you sit here and not say anything.I answer the questions.DMITRIYou didn't answer question.SHELDONHey, look. Now, maybe you have democracy now in your beloved Russia, but on this Physics Bowl team, I rule with an iron fist. Ow!DR. GABLEHAUSERAA, I need your official answer.SHELDONWell, it's not what he said.DR. GABLEHAUSERThen what is it?SHELDONI want a different question.DR. GABLEHAUSERYou can't have a differentquestion.SHELDONFormal protest.DR. GABLEHAUSER Denied.SHELDONInformal protest.DR. GABLEHAUSER Denied. I need your official answer.SHELDONNo. I decline to provide one.DR. GABLEHAUSERWell, that's too bad because the answer your teammate gave was correct.SHELDONThat's your opinion.DR. GABLEHAUSERAll right, the winner of the match is...LEONARDHang on. Sheldon, is proving that you are single-handedly smarter than everyone else so important that you would rather lose by yourself than win as part of a team?SHELDONI don't understand the question.LEONARDGo ahead.DR. GABLEHAUSERThe winner is PMS.LEONARDSorry, somebody's sitting there.SHELDONWho?LEONARDMy Physics Bowl trophy.SHELDONThat trophy is meaningless. I forfeited, therefore you did not win.LEONARDI know someone who would disagree.SHELDONWho?LEONARDMy Physics Bowl trophy. …Leonard is so smart. Sheldon who?“SHELDONAll right, that is very immature.LEONARDYou're right. I'm sorry. …I'm not!“PENNYOkay, new contest.LEONARDWhat are you doing?PENNYI am settling once and for all who is the smartest around here. Okay? Are you ready?SHELDONAbsolutely.LEONARDBring it on.PENNYOkay. …Marsha, Jan and Cindy were the three daughters in what TV family?“ The Brady Bunch. Okay. …Sammy Hagar replaced David Lee Roth as the lead singer in what group?“SHELDONThe Brady Bunch?PENNYVan Halen. All right. …Madonna was married to this Ridgemont High alum.“ Oh, my God. Sean Penn.LEONARDHow do you know these things? I go outside and I talk to people. Okay, here. …What actor holds the record for being named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive?“SHELDONWilliam Shatner.LEONARDWait. I don't think it's Shatner.SHELDONThen it's got to be Patrick Stewart.PENNYNo.SHELDONFormal protest.PENNYAll right. …Singer who sang,'Oops!...I Did It Again'?“ Okay. …Tweety Bird tawt he taw a what?“SHELDONRomulan.PENNYYes. He tawt he taw a Romulan.THE ENDThe …Tweety Bird“ question:Tweety Bird (a Warner Bros. cartoon character) used to say, ...I thought I saw a pussycat“, but in his broken English it sounded like, (I)tawt I taw a putty tat.“ So Penny's question actually is, …Tweety Bird thought he saw a what?“ And the correct answer would be, …pussycat“ (or …putty tat“). But because Leonard and Sheldon apparently doesn't know Tweety Bird and his speech impediment, for them it sounds like the Romulan language (a language from the Star Trek Universe, that's what I call …thinking in geek“, LOL!) and they assume the question is which language is Penny speaking. Therefore Sheldon very confidently answers with …Romulan.“ And regarding to Penny's answer, …Yes. He tawt he taw a Romulan.“, Sheldon and Leonard actually believe their answer was correct.。

第一季13集The Bat Jar Conjecture----(Bat Jar 猜想)-Howard：Mody tells about the new Star Trek film. 这儿有关于新一部星舰迷航电影的消息。

There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth. 将会有一幕拍摄Spock出生的情景。

(“星舰迷航”主人公之一是Vulcan族)-Raj：I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock'sconception.我对Spock受精时的情景更感兴趣。

-Sheldon：Oh, please. 得了吧。

For Vulcans, mating—or if you will, Pon Fahr-- 对于瓦肯人来说，交配-- 或者你想说 PonFahr--It's an extremely private matter. 这都是极端隐私的。

-Leonard：Still, I'd like to know the details. 不过我还是想知道细节。

His mother was human. His father was Vulcan. 她妈妈是人类他爸爸是瓦肯人。

They couldn't just conceive. 他们两个不可能就简简单单的受孕了。

-Howard：Maybe they had to go to a clinic. 也许他们只好去诊所，Can you imagine Spock's dad in a little room with a copy of Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears. 你能想象Spock的爸爸一对尖尖的耳朵和匀称的臀部，在一个小房间里...-Raj：How comes on Star Trek everybody's private parts are the same 为什么"星舰迷航"里每个人的私处都大同小异呢No alien lady ever told Captain Kirk, Hey, get your thing out of my nose. 从没一个外星女士对Kirk舰长说过，嘿，把你那玩意儿从我鼻子里抽出来。

第一季第1集Pilot (试播集):帮Penny拿电视事件。

第一季第2集The Big Bran Hypothesis (宅女假说): Sheldon帮Penny整理房间事件。

第一季第3集The Fuzzy Boots Corollary (模糊靴推论):Leonard想和Leslie发展感情失败，抑郁，后和Penny约会事件。

第一季第4集The Luminous Fish Effect (发光鱼效应):Sheldon被炒事件。

炒鸡蛋夜光鱼，织布，以及被妈妈带去道歉，然后拿回工作。

（luminous fish）第一季第5集The Hamburger Postulate(汉堡公设): Leonard和Leslie ONS，Sheldon不知所措事件。

第一季第6集The Middle Earth Paradigm(中土范式): 万圣节舞会事件。

（多普勒效应）第一季第7集The Dumpling Paradox(饺子佯谬): Penny朋友和Howard。

penny玩《光环》（XBOX游戏）。

中餐馆点菜事件。

（Raj相亲/Howard 第一季第8集The Grasshopper Experiment(小人物实验): 鸡尾酒事件。

学Raj印度口音）第一季第9集The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization(Cooper-Hofstadter 极化): 物理发表会事件。

（意念爆头、远程灯控及四川男生）第一季第10集The Loobenfeld Decay(Loobenfeld衰变): Penny唱歌引起的Leonard撒谎事件。

（Sheldon的“堂弟”Leo）第一季第11集The Pancake Batter Anomaly(面糊异常): Sheldon感冒事件。

第一季第12集The Jerusalem Duality(耶路撒冷对偶): Sheldon嫉妒来自朝鲜的15岁天才事件。

生活大爆炸_第一季_1-3集台词第一季第1集My father broke his clavicle. -Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school? -Sheldon: No. That was a result of my work with lasers. -Leonard: New neighbor? -Sheldon: Evidently. -Leonard: Significant improvement over the old neighbor. -Sheldon: 200-pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is. -Penny: Oh, hi. -Leonard: hi. -Sheldon: hi. -Leonard: hi. -Penny: Hi? -Leonard: We don't mean to interrupt. We live across the hall. -Penny: Oh, that's nice. -Leonard: Oh, no, uh, we don't live together. I mean, we live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms. -Penny: Oh. Okay, well, guess I'm your new neighbor. Penny. -Leonard: Leonard. Sheldon. -Penny: hi. -Sheldon: hi. -Penny: hi. -Leonard: hi. -Leonard: Well, uh... oh, uh, welcome to the building. -Penny: Oh, thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime. -Leonard: Oh, great. -Penny: great. -Sheldon: great. -Leonard: great. -Leonard: Well, uh, Bye. -Penny: Bye. -Sheldon: Bye. -Leonard: Bye. Should we have invited her for lunch? -Sheldon: No. We're going to start Season 2 of Battlestar Galactica. -Leonard: We already watched the season 2 DVDs. -Sheldon: Not with commentary. -Leonard: I think we should be good neighbors and invite her over, make her feel welcome. -Sheldon: We never invited Louie/Louiseover. -Leonard: Well... and that was wrong of us. We need to widen our circle. -Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on “myspace". -Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them. -Sheldon: That's the beauty of it. -Leonard: I'm going to invite her over. We'll have a nice meal and... chat. -Sheldon: Chat? We don't chat. At least not offline. -Leonard: Well, it's not difficult. You just listen to what she says and then you say something appropriate in response. -Sheldon: To what end? -Leonard: Hi. Again. -Penny: Hi. -Sheldon: Hi. -Leonard: Hi. Anyway, um... we brought home Indian food. I know that moving can be stressful, and, and, I find that when I'm undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative and I don't have to tell you, that, you know, a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about.我爸把锁骨都摔断了。

生活大爆炸第一季01[Leonard]: Agreed. What’s your point?[Sheldon]: There’s no point, I just think it’s a good idea for a t-shirt.[Leonard]: Excuse me.[Lady]: Hang on.[Leonard]: One across is “Aegean”. Eight down is “Nabokov”. 26across is “MCM”. 14down is…move your finger…”phylum” which makes 14 across port-au-prince”. See, “papa doc’s capital idea,” that’s “port-au-prince.” Haiti. [Lady]: Can I help you？[Leonard]: Yes. Is this the high-iq sperm bank?[Lady]: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn’t be here.[Sheldon]: I think this is the place.[Lady]: Fill these out.[Leonard]: Thank you. We’ll be right back.[Lady]: Take your time. I’ll just finish my crossword puzzle. Oh wait.[Sheldon]: Leonard, I don’t think I can do this.[Leonard]: What, are you kidding? You are a semi–pro.[Sheldon]: No. we are committing genetic fraud. There’s no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high-iq offspring. Think about that, I have a sister with the same basic dna mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers. [Leonard]: Sheldon, this was your idea. A little extra money to get fractional t-1 bandwidth in the apartment. [Sheldon]: I know, and I do yearn for faster downloads. But some poor woman who’s going to pin her hopes on my sperm...[Leonard]: I’m sure she’ll still love him.[Sheldon]: I wouldn’t.[Leonard]: Well, what do you want to do?[Sheldon]: I want to leave. What’s the protocol for leaving?[Leonard]: I don’t know…I’ve never reneged on a proffer of sperm before.[Sheldon]: Let’s try just walking out.[Sheldon]: Are you still mad about the sperm bank? You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?[Leonard]: Not really.[Sheldon]: If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.[Leonard]: I don’t care.Two millimeters…?That doesn’t seem right.[Sheldon]: No, it’s true, I did a series of experiments when I was 12, my father broke his clavicle.[Leonard]: Is that why they sent you to boarding school?[Sheldon]: No, that was a result of my work with lasers.[Leonard]: New neighbor?[Sheldon]: Evidently.[Leonard]: Significant improvement over the old neighbor.[Sheldon]: 200-pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is.[Leonard]: We don’t mean to interrupt. We live across the hall.[Penny]: Oh, that’s nice.[Leonard]: We don’t live together, I mean…we live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.[Penny]: Well. Guess I’m your new neighbor. Penny.[Leonard]: Well, welcome to the building.[Penny]: Thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime.[Leonard]: Should we have invited her for lunch?[Sheldon]: No, we’re gonna start season two of battlestar galactica.[Leonard]: We already watched the season two DVDs.[Sheldon]: Not with commentary.[Leonard]: I think we should be good neighbors. And invite her over, make her feel welcome.[Sheldon]: We never invited that person over.[Leonard]: And that was wrong of us. We need to widen our circle.[Sheldon]: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on my space.[Leonard]: Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.[Sheldon]: That’s the beauty of it.[Leonard]: I’m gonna invite her over. We’ll have a nice meal and…chat.[Sheldon]: Chat? We don’t chat. At least not offline.[Leonard]: It’s not difficult. You just listen to what she says and then you say something appr opriate in response. [Sheldon]: To what end?[Leonard]: Anyway…we brought home Indian food. And I know that moving can be stressful, and I find that when I’m undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don’t have to tell you that, you know, a clean colon is just…one less thing to worry about. [Sheldon]: I’m no expert, but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.[Penny]: You’re inviting me over to eat? Oh, that’s so nice. I’d love to. So, what do you guys do for fun around here? [Sheldon]: Today we tried masturbating for money.[Leonard]: Ok, make yourself at home.[Penny]: This looks like some serious stuff. Leonard, did you do this?[Sheldon]: Actually, that’s my work. Yeah, well, it’s just some quantum mechanics with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that’s just a joke.[Penny]: So you’re like one of those beautiful mind genius guys. This is really impressive.[Leonard]: I have a board. If you like boards, this is my board.[Penny]: Holy smokes.[Sheldon]: If by “holy smokes”, you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men’s room at M.I.T, sure.[Leonard]: What?[Sheldon]: Come on. Who hasn’t seen this differential below “here I sit, broken-hearted”?[Leonard]: At least I didn’t have to invent 26 dimensions just to make the math come out.[Sheldon]: I didn’t invent them. They’re there.[Leonard]: In what universe?[Sheldon]: In all of them… that is the point.[Penny]: Do you guys mind if I start?[Sheldon]: Penny…that’s where I sit.[Penny]: So, sit next to me.[Sheldon]: No… I sit there.[Penny]: What’s the difference?[Sheldon]: Wha t’s the difference?[Leonard]: Here we go.[Sheldon]: In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I can go on, but I think I’ve made my point.[Penny]: Do you want me to move?[Leonard]: Just sit somewhere else. Well, this is nice. We don’t have a lot of company over.[Sheldon]: That’s not true, Koothrappali and Wolowizt come over all the time.[Leonard]: Yes. I know, but…[Sheldon]: So don’t say we don’t have company.[Leonard]: Sorry.[Sheldon]: That is negative social implications.[Leonard]: I said I’m sorry![Penny]: So…klingon boggle?[Leonard]: Yeah. It’s like regular boggle, but… in klingon.That’s probably enough about us. So, tell us about you. [Penny]: Me? Ok. I’m a Sagittarius, w hich probably tells you way more than you need to know.[Sheldon]: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion tha t the sun’s apparent position……somehow affects your personality.[Penny]: Participate in the what?[Leonard]: I think what Sheldon’s trying to say is that Sagittarius wouldn’t have been our first guess.[Penny]: Oh, yeah, a lot of people think I’m a water sign. Ok, let’s see, what else. Oh, I’m a vegetarian, expect for fish.And the occasional steak. I love steak.[Sheldon]: Well, that’s interesting. Leonard can’t process corn.[Leonard]: Well…do you have some sort of a job?[Penny]: Yeah, I’m a waitress at the cheesecake factory.[Leonard]: Oh~ I love cheesecake.[Sheldon]: You’re lactose-intolerant.[Leonard]: I don’t eat it…I just think it’s a good idea.[Penny]: Anyways, I’m also writing a screenplay. It’s about this sensitive girl who comes to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska, to be an actress and winds up a waitress at the cheesecake factory.[Leonard]: So, it’s based on your life.[Penny]: No, I’m from Omaha.[Leonard]: If that was a movie, I would go see it.[Penny]: I know, right? Ok, let’s see what else…guess that’s about it. That’s the story of Penny.[Leonard]: It sounds wonderful.[Penny]: It was. Until I fell in love with a jerk.[Sheldon]: What’s happening?[Penny]: God, you know, 4 years I lived with him. 4 years…that’s like as long as high school.[Sheldon]: It took you 4 years to get through high school?[Penny]: It just… I can’t believe I trusted him.[Leonard]: Should I say something? I feel like I should say something.[Sheldon]: You? No, you’ll only make it worse.[Penny]: You want to know the pathetic part? Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts…I still love him. Is that crazy? [Leonard]: No, it’s not crazy. It’s a…paradox. Paradoxes are part of nature. Think about light. If you look at Huygens, light is a wave, as confirmed by the double-slit experiments. But then along comes Albert Einstein, and discovers that light behaves like particles, too. Well, I didn’t make it worse.[Penny]: I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess. On top of everything else, I’m all gross from moving. And my stupid shower doesn’t even work.[Leonard]: Our shower works.[Penny]: Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it?[Leonard]: It’s right down the hall.[Penny]: Thanks. You guys are really sweet.[Sheldon]: Well, this is an interesting development.[Leonard]: How so?[Sheldon]: It has been some time since we’ve had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.[Leonard]: That’s not true, remember at thanksgiving, my grandmother with Alzhei mer’s had that episode? [Sheldon]: Point taken. It has been some time since we’ve had a woman take her clothes off, after which we didn’t want to rip our eyes out.[Leonard]: The worst part was watching her carve that turkey.[Sheldon]: So what exactly are you going to accomplish here?[Leonard]: Excuse me?[Sheldon]: That woman is not going to have sex with you.[Leonard]: I’m not trying to have sex with her.[Sheldon]: Oh, good, then you won’t be disappointed.[Leonard]: What makes you think she wouldn’t have sex with me? I’m a male and she is a female.[Sheldon]: Yes, but not of the same species.[Leonard]: I’m not going to engage in hypotheticals here. I’m just trying to be a good neighbor.[Sheldon]: Oh, of course.[Leonard]: That’s not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop, that I wouldn’t participate. However briefly. [Wolowitz]: Wait till you see this.[Koothrappali]: It’s fantastic, unbelievable.[Leonard]: See what?[Wolowitz]: It’s a Stephen hawking lecture from M.I.T in 1974.[Leonard]: This isn’t a good time.[Wolowitz]: It’s before he became a creepy computer voice.[Leonard]: That’s great. You guys have to go.[Koothrappali]: Why?[Leonard]: It’s just not a good time.[Sheldon]: Leonard has a lady over.[Wolowitz]: Yeah, right…your grandmother back in town?[Leonard]: No, and she is not a lady, she is just a new neighbor.[Wolowitz]: Hang on, there really is a lady here? And you want us out because you’re anticipating co itus? [Leonard]: I’m not anticipating coitus.[Wolowitz]: So she’s available for coitus?[Leonard]: Can we please just stop saying ”coitus”?[Penny]: Hey, is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower…?[Wolowitz]: Howard Wolowitz, Caltech department of applied physics. You may be familiar with some of my work. It’s currently orbiting Jupiter’s largest moon taking high-resolution digital photographs.[Penny]: Penny, I work at the cheesecake factory.[Leonard]: I’ll show you the trick with the shower.[Wolowitz]: “Bonne douche”[Penny]: I’m sorry?[Wolowitz]: It’s French for “good shower.” It’s a sentiment, I can express in six languages.[Leonard]: Save it for your blog, Howard.[Leonard]: All right, there it goes. It sticks. I’m sorry.[Penny]: Hey, Leonard?[Sheldon]: The hair products are Sheldon’s.[Penny]: Can I ask you a favor?[Leonard]: A favor? Sure, you can ask me a favor. I would do you a favor for you.[Penny]: It’s ok if you say no.[Leonard]: I’ll probably say yes.[Penny]: It’s ju st not the kind of thing you ask a guy you just met.[Sheldon]: I really think we should examine the chain of causality here.[Leonard]: Must we?[Sheldon]: Event A: a beautiful woman stands naked in our shower. Event B: we drive halfway across town to retrieve a television set from the afore mentioned woman’s ex-boyfriend. Query…on what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?[Leonard]: She asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon.[Sheldon]: Oh, yes, well, that may be the proximal cause of our journey. But we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause.[Leonard]: Which is?[Sheldon]: You think with your penis.[Leonard]: That’s a biological impossibility. And you didn’t have to come.[Sheldon]: Oh, right, I could have stayed behind and watch Wolowitz try to hit on Penny in Russian, Arabic, and Farsi.Why can’t she get her own TV?[Leonard]: Come on, you know how it is with breakups.[Sheldon]: No I don’t…and neither do you.[Leonard]: I broke up with Joyce Kim.[Sheldon]: You did not break up with Joyce Kim, she defected to north Korea.[Leonard]: To mend her broken heart. This situation is much less complicated. There’s some kind of dispute between Penny and her ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the TV. She just wanted to avoid having a scene with him.[Sheldon]: So we get to have a scene with him?[Leonard]: No, there’s not going to be a scene. There’s two of us and one of him.[Sheldon]: Leonard, the two of us can’t even carry a TV.[Penny]: So, you guys work with Leonard and Sheldon at the university? I’m sorry, do you speak English? [Wolowitz]: He speaks English, he just can’t speak to women. He’s kind of nerd.[Leonard]: I’ll do the talking.We’re here to pick up Penny’s TV.[Man]: Get lost.[Sheldon]: Ok, thanks for your time.[Leonard]: We’re not going to give up just like that.[Sheldon]: Leonard, the TV’s in the building. We’ve been denied access to the building, ergo, we are done. [Leonard]: Excuse me. If I were to give up on the first little hitch, I never would have identified the fingerprints of string theory in the aftermath of the big bang.[Sheldon]: My apologies. What’s your plan? It’s just a privilege to watch your mind at work.[Leonard]: Come on, we have a combined iq of 360. We should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building. [Sheldon]: What do you think their combined iq is?[Leonard]: Just grab the door! This is it. I’ll do the talking.[Sheldon]: Good thinking, I’ll just be the muscle.[Man]: How the hell did you get in the building?[Leonard]: We are scientists.[Sheldon]: Tell him about our iq.[Sheldon]: Leonard…[Leonard]: What?[Sheldon]: My mom bought me those pants.[Leonard]: I’m sorry.[Sheldon]: You’re going to have to call her.[Leonard]: Sheldon, I am so sorry I dragged you though this.[Sheldon]: It’s ok. It wasn’t my first pants and it won’t be my last.[Leonard]: And you were right about my motives. I was hoping to establish a relationship with Penny that might have someday led to sex.[Sheldon]: Well, you got me out of my pants.[Leonard]: Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson. She’s out of my league, I’m done with her. Got my work, one day, I’ll win the Nobel prize and I’ll die alone.[Sheldon]: Don’t think like that. You’re not going to die alo ne.[Leonard]: Thank you, Sheldon, you’re a good friend.[Sheldon]: And you’re certainly not going to win a Nobel prize.[Wolowitz]: This is one of my favorite places to kick back after a quest. They have a great house ale. Yeah, I’ve had him since level ten. His name is buttons. Anyway, if you had your own game character, we could hang out, maybe go on a quest.[Penny]: That sounds interesting.[Wolowitz]: You’ll think about it?[Penny]: I don’t think I’ll be able to stop thinking about it.[Koothrappali]: Smooth~[Leonard]: We’re home.[Penny]: Oh, my god, what happened?[Leonard]: Well, you ex-boyfriend sends his regards, and I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory.[Penny]: I’m so sorry, I really thought if you guys went instead of me he wouldn’t be such an ass.[Leonard]: No, it was a valid hypothesis.[Sheldon]: That was a valid…? What is happening to you?[Penny]: Really, thank you so much for going and trying, you’re just…you’re so terrific, really. Why don’t you put some clothes on, I’ll get my p urse, and dinner is on me, ok?[Sheldon]: You’re not done with her, are you?[Leonard]: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.[Sheldon]: Not to mention imaginary.[Leonard]: Is that food okay with you, Penny?[Sheldon]: We can’t have Thai food, we had In dian for lunch.[Penny]: So?[Sheldon]: They’re both curry-based cuisines.[Penny]: So?[Sheldon]: It would be gastronomically redundant. I can see we’re going to have to spell out everything for this girl [Penny]: Any ideas, Raj?[Wolowitz]: I know a wonderful little sushi bar that has karaoke.[Penny]: That sounds like fun.[Wolowitz]: Baby, baby don’t get hook up on me……[Sheldon]: I don’t know what your odds are in the world as a whole, but as far as the p opulation of this car goes, you're a veritable Mac daddy.------------- THE END -------------。

The Big Bang Theory Season01 Chi-Eng ScriptThe Big Bang Theory S01E01 第一季第一集100:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,460如果一个光子打向有两个狭缝的平面So if a photon is directed through a plane200:00:02,580 --> 00:00:04,150如果有一个狭缝可以观测到with two slits in it and either slit is observed,300:00:04,150 --> 00:00:05,150那它没有同时通过两个狭缝it will not go through both slits.400:00:05,270 --> 00:00:06,450如果观测不到那它会通过If it's unobserved,it will.500:00:06,570 --> 00:00:09,010但如果它是在离开平面后However,if it's observed after it's left the plane600:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,300在击中目标物之前被观测到But before it hits its target,700:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,680那它不会同时通过两个狭缝it won't have gone through both slits.800:00:11,850 --> 00:00:13,860没错你想说什么Agreed. what's your point?生活大爆炸第一季中英双语对照剧本-------------------两栏省纸打印版------------------900:00:14,050 --> 00:00:17,240没什么我只是觉得这个主意放在T恤上不错There's no point,I just think it's a good idea for a t-shirt.1000:00:22,670 --> 00:00:24,340-您好 -稍等-excuse me. -hang on.1100:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,340横1是"爱琴海"One across is "aegean."1200:00:30,460 --> 00:00:31,850竖8是"纳巴科夫"(1899-1977 俄裔美国小说家)Eight down is "nabokov."1300:00:31,980 --> 00:00:34,330横26"MCM"26 across is "mcm."1400:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,900竖14是...你手挡住了...14 down is... move your finger...1500:00:37,780 --> 00:00:40,410是"门"(生物分类) 所以说横十四是"太子港"(海地首都)"phylum" which makes 14 across"port-au-prince"1600:00:42,050 --> 00:00:45,270你看 "Papa Doc"(海地总统绰号)提示了所以是"太子港"See,"papa doc's capitol idea," that's "port-au-prince."1700:00:46,770 --> 00:00:47,770在海地Haiti.1800:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,870-需要帮忙吗 -是的-can I help you? -yes.1900:00:53,770 --> 00:00:57,020这里是高智商精子库吗Is this the high-iq sperm bank?2000:00:58,590 --> 00:01:01,280如果这还要问的话那你可能不该来这If you have to ask,maybe you shouldn't be here.2100:01:02,460 --> 00:01:04,030我看就是这儿了I think this is the place.2200:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,960-把表格填了 -谢谢-fill these out. -thank you.2300:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,020-马上就好 -不急-we'll be right back. -take your time.24 00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:11,370我正好把填字游戏做完I'll just finish my crossword puzzle.2500:01:12,670 --> 00:01:13,950等等Oh,wait.2600:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,160莱纳德我觉得我做不到Leonard,I don't think I can do this.2700:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,690开什么玩笑你都是"半职业选手"了What,are you kidding? you're a semi-pro.2800:01:30,870 --> 00:01:33,200不是的我们这是在犯基因欺诈罪No. we are committing genetic fraud.2900:01:33,380 --> 00:01:35,080我们的精子并不能保证There's no guarantee that our sperm3000:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,790将来就能生出高智商的后代is going to generate high-iqOffspring.3100:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,560你想想我姐姐和我的DNA结构相同Think about that. I have a sister with the same basic dna mix3200:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,340可她只是快餐店的女服务生Who hostesses at fuddruckers.3300:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,420谢尔顿当初是你要来的Sheldon,this was your idea.3400:01:44,670 --> 00:01:45,790这点补贴能让我们A little extra money to get3500:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,180在寓所里拥有分式T-1带宽fractional t-1 bandwidth in the apartment.3600:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,940我知道我的确渴望更快的下载速度I know,and I do yearn for faster downloads.3700:01:51,940 --> 00:01:53,070但那些可怜的女人们But there's some poor woman3800:01:53,110 --> 00:01:55,250会把希望寄托在我精子上的who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm.3900:01:55,290 --> 00:01:57,900如果她最后发现那小不点连曲线下面积What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use4000:01:58,030 --> 00:02:01,470该用积分还是微分算都不知道她会怎么想An integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve? 4100:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,960-我肯定她还是会爱他的 -我不会-i'm sure she'll still love him. -i wouldn't.4200:02:07,140 --> 00:02:08,630你现在想怎么样Well,what do you want to do?4300:02:08,750 --> 00:02:09,750我想走了I want to leave.4400:02:11,550 --> 00:02:12,890该怎么跟她说呢What's the protocol for leaving?4500:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,480我不知道...我以前从来没在捐献精子时中途走人过I don't know... I've never reneged on a proffer of sperm before.4600:02:18,020 --> 00:02:19,470我们就直接走吧Let's try just walking out.4700:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,850-再见 -再见很高兴见到你-bye. -bye. nice meeting you.4800:02:36,820 --> 00:02:38,550你还在为那个精子库的事生气吗Are you still mad about the sperm bank?4900:02:38,660 --> 00:02:39,180没有No.5000:02:40,940 --> 00:02:43,850你想不想听有关楼梯的有趣事情You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?5100:02:44,320 --> 00:02:45,370不太想Not really.5200:02:46,090 --> 00:02:48,950如果有一格阶梯的高度存在哪怕两毫米的微小差距If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters,5300:02:49,090 --> 00:02:51,410-大多数人会被绊倒 -跟我无关-most people will trip. -i don't care.5400:02:53,300 --> 00:02:55,090两毫...那不太可能吧Two milli... that doesn't seem right.5500:02:55,210 --> 00:02:57,630不是真的我12岁时做过一系列试验No,it's true,I did a series of experiments when I was 125600:02:57,750 --> 00:02:59,280我爸爸还摔断了锁骨My father broke his clavicle.5700:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,550 你就是因为这个被他们送去寄宿学校的? Is that why they sent you to boarding school?5800:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,350不是是因为我那些关于激光的试验No. that was a result of my work with lasers.5900:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,390这是新邻居?New neighbor?6000:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,610很明显Evidently.6100:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,680比起上一个的水准真是有显著提高Significant improvement over the old neighbor.6200:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,870那个体重200磅有皮肤问题的异装癖者? 200-pound transvestite with a skin condition?6300:03:19,990 --> 00:03:20,990那是没错Yes,she is.6400:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,370-你好 -你好-oh,hi. -hi.6500:03:30,260 --> 00:03:32,470我们不想打搅你我们就住你对面We don't mean to interrupt. we live across the hall.6600:03:32,710 --> 00:03:34,390你们真好啊Oh,that's nice.6700:03:35,450 --> 00:03:37,390我们不是住在一起我是说...We don't live together. I mean...6800:03:38,090 --> 00:03:39,190我们是住在一起We live together,6900:03:39,310 --> 00:03:42,290不过是在分开的异性恋的卧室里But in separate,heterosexual bedrooms.7000:03:43,720 --> 00:03:44,720好的Okay,well...7100:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,780看来你们就是我的新邻居了我叫佩妮Guess I'm your new neighbor. penny.7200:03:47,190 --> 00:03:48,830-我是莱纳德他是谢尔顿 -你好-leonard. sheldon. -hi.7300:03:53,370 --> 00:03:54,410那么...Well...7400:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,620欢迎成为我们的邻居Welcome to the building.7500:03:57,050 --> 00:03:59,220谢谢你我们可以什么时候喝喝咖啡Thank you. maybe we can have coffee sometime.7600:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,150很好啊Great.7700:04:04,190 --> 00:04:06,430-那...再见 -再见-well... bye. -bye.7800:04:10,410 --> 00:04:12,140我们要不要请她来吃午饭?Should we have invited her for lunch?7900:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,210不我们要开始看太空堡垒卡拉狄加第二季No.We're gonna start season two of battlestar galactica.8000:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,820第二季的DVD我们已经看过了We already watched the season two dvds.8100:04:17,940 --> 00:04:19,120但评论音轨还没看Not with commentary.8200:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,750我觉得我们应该做个好邻居I think we should be good neighbors8300:04:23,870 --> 00:04:25,760请她作客让她觉得亲切And invite her over,make her feel welcome.8400:04:26,270 --> 00:04:28,940我们从没请过那个叫路易还是叫路易斯的过来We never invited louie-slash-louise over.8500:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,790那是我们的不对And that was wrong of us.8600:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,360我们得扩大下我们的朋友圈子We need to widen our circle.8700:04:33,770 --> 00:04:35,900我的朋友圈子已经很大了I have a very wide circle.8800:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,830我的空间上有212个好友I have 212 friends on myspace.8900:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,960不错可他们你一个也没见过Yes,and you've never met one of them.9000:04:43,710 --> 00:04:45,060这正是其美妙之处That's the beauty of it.9100:04:47,470 --> 00:04:49,070 我要请她过来I'm gonna invite her over.9200:04:49,570 --> 00:04:52,140我们可以好好吃一顿然后...聊天We'll have a nice meal and... chat.9300:04:52,350 --> 00:04:55,100聊天? 我们平时不聊天至少下了网不聊Chat? we don't chat. at least not offline.9400:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,810这没什么难的It's not difficult.9500:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,450你只要听着她讲些什么You just listen to what she says9600:05:00,570 --> 00:05:03,390然后你适当地回应她一些And then you say something appropriate in response.9700:05:04,790 --> 00:05:05,790那最后要干什么?To what end?9800:05:07,770 --> 00:05:09,370你好...又来了Hi... again.9900:05:09,490 --> 00:05:11,370你好Hi.10000:05:12,650 --> 00:05:13,670那个...Anyway...10100:05:14,250 --> 00:05:15,770我们带了印度菜回来We brought home indian food.10200:05:16,790 --> 00:05:17,790然后...And...10300:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,480我知道搬家可能会很累I know that moving can be stressful,10400:05:20,610 --> 00:05:22,780并且我发现当我身心俱疲时And I find that when I'm undergoing stress,10500:05:22,910 --> 00:05:26,060美食和伙伴能让我感觉很舒坦That good food and company can have a comforting effect.10600:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,430还有咖喱本身有通便功效我想我不必再说Also,curry is a natural laxative,and I don't have to tell you10700:05:30,550 --> 00:05:33,180你知道如果大肠通畅...That,you know,a clean colon is just...108 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,290那又可以少一件操心事了One less thing to worry about.10900:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,900这方面我不在行不过我相信如果是邀请别人吃午餐I'm no expert,but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation,11000:05:40,030 --> 00:05:42,480你最好不要说些肠运动的事You might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.11100:05:43,100 --> 00:05:44,850你们是在邀请我过去吃饭?You're inviting me over to eat?11200:05:45,930 --> 00:05:46,430是的Yes.11300:05:47,270 --> 00:05:49,230你们真好我很乐意Oh,that's so nice. I'd love to.11400:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,400太好了Great.11500:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,900你们平时都玩些什么So,what do you guys do for fun around here?11600:05:53,690 --> 00:05:56,320今天我们尝试过靠自慰来挣钱Today we tried masturbating for money.11700:06:25,370 --> 00:06:27,200好了就当在自己家一样Okay,make yourself at home.11800:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,480谢谢Thank you.11900:06:28,810 --> 00:06:29,940不用谢You're very welcome.12000:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,020这些东西看上去真深奥啊This looks like some serious stuff.12100:06:36,140 --> 00:06:39,210-莱纳德这是你写的? -不这是我的-leonard,did you do this? -actually,that's my work.12200:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,650不错只是一些量子力学而已Yeah. well,it's just some quantum mechanics12300:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,990边上还随便写了一点点弦理论With a little string theory doodling around the edges.12400:06:46,110 --> 00:06:47,610那部分是我开的玩笑That part there,that's just a joke. 12500:06:47,730 --> 00:06:50,600讽刺下波恩-奥本海默近似It's a spoof of the born-oppenheimer approximation.12600:06:52,020 --> 00:06:55,340这么说你就像是"美丽心灵"里那种天才一样So you're like one of those beautiful mind genius guys.12700:06:56,420 --> 00:06:57,130是吧Yeah.12800:06:59,100 --> 00:07:01,360-真让人赞叹 -我也有块板-this is really impressive. -i have a board.12900:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,560如果你喜欢板这块是我的If you like boards,this is my board.13000:07:04,650 --> 00:07:05,910上帝啊Holy smokes.13100:07:06,030 --> 00:07:07,490如果你说"上帝啊"是想If by "holy smokes",you mean13200:07:07,620 --> 00:07:09,480再一次强调说你能在任何一个麻省理工的A derivative restatement of the kind of stuff13300:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,660男生寝室墙上发现那些涂鸦那一点没错You can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at mit,sure.13400:07:13,570 --> 00:07:14,880-什么? -得了吧-what? -come on.13500:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,610谁没看到那微分上面写着"我打住了心碎了算不下去了"Who hasn't seen this differential below "here I sit,broken-hearted"?13600:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,530至少我不会为了解决个数学问题At least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions13700:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,920去发明个什么26维出来Just to make the math come out.13800:07:23,050 --> 00:07:24,500我没有创造发明他们本来就有I didn't invent them. they're there.13900:07:24,620 --> 00:07:27,740-哪个宇宙有? -所有的都有...这就是我说的关键-in what universe? -in all of them... that is the point.14000:07:28,770 --> 00:07:30,180你们介意我先开吃吗Do you guys mind if I start? 14100:07:30,780 --> 00:07:31,780佩妮...Penny...14200:07:32,640 --> 00:07:33,910这是我的座位That's where l sit.14300:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,080那你坐我旁边So,sit next to me.14400:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,320不...我坐那里的No... I sit there.14500:07:41,970 --> 00:07:42,980有什么区别What's the difference?14600:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,180-什么区别? -开始了-what's the difference? -here we go.14700:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,290在冬天这个位子离暖气比较近所以比较暖和In the winter,that seat is close enough to the radiator14800:07:48,410 --> 00:07:51,260但也不至于太近以至于引起出汗To remain warm,and yet not so close as to cause perspiration14900:07:51,410 --> 00:07:53,770在夏天通过窗子吹进来的风直接在这里交叉In the summer,it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze15000:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,840就是这边和那边的窗户Created by opening windows there and there.15100:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,580看电视正好有个角度It faces the television at an angle15200:07:57,700 --> 00:08:00,140不会太正从而影响跟别人说话That is neither direct,thus discouraging conversation,15300:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,710也不会太斜从而造成脖子酸疼Nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.15400:08:02,830 --> 00:08:06,040我还能继续不过我觉得你已经明白我的意思了I could go on,but I think I've made my point.15500:08:09,310 --> 00:08:10,600你想让我移开吗Do you want me to move?15600:08:10,730 --> 00:08:12,630你就随便坐一下吧-well... -just sit somewhere else. 15700:08:14,910 --> 00:08:15,910好的Fine.15800:08:34,130 --> 00:08:35,200谢尔顿坐下!Sheldon,sit!15900:08:40,830 --> 00:08:42,150这样很好啊Well,this is nice.16000:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,950不太有人来我们这里作客的We don't have a lot of company over.16100:08:44,070 --> 00:08:46,790不是吧库萨帕里和沃尔维茨就经常过来That's not true. koothrappali and wolowitz come over all the time.16200:08:46,910 --> 00:08:48,300-是我知道但... -星期二晚上-yes i know,but... -tuesday night,16300:08:48,430 --> 00:08:50,260我们还玩"克林贡拼字游戏"玩到凌晨一点(克林贡是外星人)We played klingon boggle till 1:00 a.m.16400:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,290是我记得Yeah,I remember.16500:08:51,420 --> 00:08:53,250-不要说我们没有伙伴 -对不起-don't say we don't have company. -sorry.16600:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,280-这是社交上很消极的暗示 -我说对不起了-that has negative social implications. -i said I'm sorry!16700:08:58,710 --> 00:09:00,190"克林贡拼字游戏"?Klingon boggle?16800:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,640是的就是普通的拼字游戏只不过... Yeah. it's like regular boggle,but...16900:09:02,790 --> 00:09:03,920是用克林贡语言In klingon.17000:09:07,340 --> 00:09:10,240关于我们已经说得够多了说说你吧That's probably enough about us. so,tell us about you.17100:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,360我? 好吧Me? okay.17200:09:12,850 --> 00:09:14,190我是射手座的I'm a sagittarius,17300:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,630就这一点你们很可能就了解得比我想说的多得多了Which probably tells you way more than you need to know.17400:09:16,770 --> 00:09:19,920没错我们可以了解到你有群众性文化妄想Yes. it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion17500:09:20,050 --> 00:09:21,330就是指你出生时That the sun's apparent position17600:09:21,450 --> 00:09:24,390相对于任意确定星座的太阳的视位置Relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth17700:09:24,510 --> 00:09:26,330可能会决定你的性格Somehow affects your personality.17800:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,430有什么来着?Participate in the what?17900:09:30,930 --> 00:09:32,820我认为谢尔顿是想说I think what sheldon's trying to say18000:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,840我们可能不会第一个猜你是"射手座"的Is that sagittarius wouldn't have been our first guess.18100:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,490是很多人会以为我是水相星座的Yeah,a lot of people think I'm a water sign.18200:09:39,260 --> 00:09:41,070还有什么让我想想Okay,let's see,what else.18300:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,230我是素食者但我吃鱼I'm a vegetarian. except for fish.18400:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,400偶尔吃牛排牛排真赞!And the occasional steak. I love steak!18500:09:48,050 --> 00:09:49,130真有趣Well,that's interesting.18600:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,480莱纳德吃玉米会不消化Leonard can't process corn.18700:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,820你有什么工作吗Well... do you have some sort of a job?18800:09:58,870 --> 00:10:01,010有我是家乳酪蛋糕店的服务生Yeah. I'm a waitress at the cheesecake factory.18900:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,870我很喜欢乳酪蛋糕I love cheesecake. 19000:10:02,990 --> 00:10:04,050你不是不能吃乳糖嘛You're lactose-intolerant.19100:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,610我是不吃...我只是觉得那东西不错I don't eat it... I just think it's a good idea.19200:10:07,770 --> 00:10:10,050还有我正在写一个剧本Anyways,I'm also writing a screenplay.19300:10:10,170 --> 00:10:13,250讲一个多愁善感的女生从内布拉斯加州的林肯来到了洛杉矶It's about this sensitive girl who comes to l.a. from lincoln,nebraska,19400:10:13,370 --> 00:10:16,890她本想当名演员最终却在乳酪蛋糕店当了服务生To be an actress and winds up a waitress at the cheesecake factory.19500:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,280看来这是根据你的经历写的So,it's based on your life.19600:10:20,470 --> 00:10:21,560不我是来自奥马哈No,I'm from omaha.19700:10:25,810 --> 00:10:27,870如果真拍成了电影我会去看的If that was movie,I would go see it.19800:10:27,990 --> 00:10:29,030我就说是不错吧?I know,right?19900:10:29,510 --> 00:10:31,330让我想想还有什么...Okay,let's see,what else...20000:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,400大概就这些了Guess that's about it.20100:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,410这就是佩妮的故事了That's the story of penny.20200:10:37,580 --> 00:10:39,100真不错It sounds wonderful.20300:10:40,470 --> 00:10:41,470是不错It was.20400:10:42,090 --> 00:10:44,560直到我爱上了那混蛋!Until I fell in love with a jerk!20500:10:48,350 --> 00:10:49,390怎么回事?What's happening?20600:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,700上帝你知道吗我和他同居了4年God,you know,4 years I lived with him. 20700:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,770整整4年...都跟高中生涯一样长了4 years... that's like as long as high school.20800:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,900你花了4年才读完高中?It took you 4 years to get through high school?20900:11:02,590 --> 00:11:05,390真...不敢相信我竟然那么信任他It just... I can't believe I trusted him.21000:11:10,340 --> 00:11:12,950我该说些什么吗? 我感觉我该说些什么Should I say something? I feel like I should say something.21100:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,770你? 算了你只会越帮越忙You? no,you'll only make it worse.21200:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,040你们想知道最悲哀的是什么吗You want to know the most pathetic part?21300:11:17,210 --> 00:11:20,210即使我已经恨透了他的谎言他的不忠Even though I hate his lying,cheating guts...21400:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,470我还是爱他I still love him.21500:11:23,490 --> 00:11:24,490我是不是疯了?Is that crazy?21600:11:24,740 --> 00:11:25,290是疯了Yes.21700:11:28,060 --> 00:11:30,470不不是的这只是...No,it's not crazy. it's a...21800:11:31,430 --> 00:11:32,920只是一种悖论It's a paradox.21900:11:33,170 --> 00:11:36,670自然界中到处都存在着悖论比如说光Paradoxes are part of nature. think about light.22000:11:36,790 --> 00:11:39,270按照惠更斯的理论光是一种波If you look at huygens,light is a wave,22100:11:39,390 --> 00:11:41,230双缝实验证明了这一观点As confirmed by the double-slit experiments,22200:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,650不过后来有了爱因斯坦But then along comes albert einstein22300:11:43,770 --> 00:11:47,020他发现光原来也具有粒子性And discovers that light behaves like particles,too.22400:11:49,610 --> 00:11:51,270我至少没越帮倒忙Well,I didn't make it worse.22500:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,690我真的很抱歉我真是一团糟I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess.22600:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,250最糟的是我搬家都搬得恶心死了On top of everything else,I'm all gross from moving22700:11:58,370 --> 00:11:59,960没想到该死的淋浴器还不能用了And my stupid shower doesn't even work.22800:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,140我们的可以用啊Our shower works.22900:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,940真的? 如果我在这里洗你们会不会介意? Really? would it be totally weird if I used it?23000:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,290-会 -不会-yes. -no.23100:12:06,410 --> 00:12:07,410-不会 -不会-no. -no.23200:12:09,260 --> 00:12:10,630就在那边It's right down the hall.23300:12:10,910 --> 00:12:11,910谢谢Thanks.23400:12:12,170 --> 00:12:13,610你们真是太好了You guys are really sweet.23500:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,770这番进步有意思啊Well,this is an interesting development.23600:12:25,810 --> 00:12:26,810怎么?How so?23700:12:26,970 --> 00:12:29,120上次有个女人在我们这里轻解罗裳It has been some time since we've had a woman23800:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,920距离现在已经很久了Take her clothes off in our apartment.23900:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,540不见得啊记得感恩节That's not true. remember at thanksgiving,24000:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,100我那老年痴呆的祖母上演的那段?My grandmother with alzheimer's had that episode?24100:12:38,210 --> 00:12:39,910明白了距离上次有女人Point taken. it has been some time24200:12:40,030 --> 00:12:41,870在我们这里轻解罗裳并且看了之后Since we've had a woman take her clothes off,24300:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,320我们不想把眼睛给挖出来的已经很久了After which we didn't want to rip our eyes out.24400:12:45,710 --> 00:12:48,610其实最糟的是看她切那火鸡The worst part was watching her carve that turkey.24500:12:49,650 --> 00:12:52,510你现在究竟是要干些什么呢So what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?24600:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,510你说什么?Excuse me?24700:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,820那女人不会跟你上床的That woman is not going to have sex with you.24800:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,310我没有想要跟她上床I'm not trying to have sex with her.24900:12:59,450 --> 00:13:01,440那就好这样你就不会失望了Good. then you won't be disappointed.25000:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,030你凭什么认为她不会和我上床了What makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me?25100:13:05,150 --> 00:13:07,070我是男的她是女的I'm a male and she's a female.25200:13:07,550 --> 00:13:09,710没错但不是同一物种Yes,but not of the same species.25300:13:10,710 --> 00:13:13,050我才不跟你讨论什么假设I'm not going to engage in hypotheticals here.25400:13:13,170 --> 00:13:14,920我只想当个好邻居I'm just trying to be a good neighbor.25500:13:15,320 --> 00:13:16,400是啊Of course.25600:13:17,070 --> 00:13:19,990那也不是说如果有机会可以发展肉体关系That's not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop,257 00:13:20,110 --> 00:13:21,660我会袖手旁观That I wouldn't participate.25800:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,140大致是这样However briefly.25900:13:26,710 --> 00:13:29,030当她发现你的卢克·天行者(星球大战人物)无泪洗发水Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered26000:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,580你说这种可能性是会变大了呢还是变小了When she discovers your luke skywalkerno-more-tears shampoo?26100:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,570那是达斯·维德(另一星战人物)牌洗发水It's darth vader shampoo.26200:13:37,230 --> 00:13:39,140卢克·天行者是护发素Luke skywalker's the conditioner.26300:13:41,740 --> 00:13:44,460-先看这个 -太强了难以置信-wait till you see this. -it'sfantastic,unbelievable.26400:13:44,580 --> 00:13:45,580看什么?See what?26500:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,9501974年史蒂芬霍金在麻省理工的演讲It's a stephen hawking lecture from mit in 1974.26600:13:51,070 --> 00:13:52,160现在不是时候This isn't a good time.26700:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,330那时他还不是这样毛骨悚然的电脑音It's before he became a creepy computer voice.26800:13:58,710 --> 00:14:00,650-不错可你们现在必须得走 -为什么-that's great. you guys have to go. -why?26900:14:00,770 --> 00:14:01,970现在不是时候It's just not a good time.27000:14:02,090 --> 00:14:03,680莱纳德有女士来访Leonard has a lady over.27100:14:04,300 --> 00:14:06,780是的我明白了...你祖母又回城来了? Yeah,right... your grandmother back in town?27200:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,590不是她不是什么女士她是新来的邻居No. And she's not a lady. she's just a new neighbor.27300:14:12,870 --> 00:14:15,280 等等这里真的有位女士?Hang on,there really is a lady here?27400:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,500你赶我们走是为了想要和她交媾?And you want us out because you're anticipating coitus?27500:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,640我没有想要和她交媾I'm not anticipating coitus.27600:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,060那就是说别人现在可以和她交媾?So she's available for coitus?27700:14:23,190 --> 00:14:25,560我们可不可以不要说"交媾"这个词了Can we please just stop saying "coitus"?27800:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,460更精确的说法应该是"体外射精" Technically,that would be"coitus interruptus. "27900:14:29,170 --> 00:14:32,230是不是应该有个旋关把水从浴缸那里弄到淋浴器上Hey,is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower...?28000:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,850不好意思大家好Hi. sorry. hello.28100:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,940很高兴认识您女士Enchant? mademoiselle.28200:14:40,850 --> 00:14:43,920我是霍华德·沃尔维茨加州工学院应用物理系学生Howard wolowitz,caltech department of applied physics.28300:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,180我的一些研究成果你可能已经很熟悉了You may be familiar with some of my work.28400:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,810它正在围绕着木星的最大卫星轨道运行It's currently orbiting jupiter's largest moon28500:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,360拍摄高分辨率的数码照片Taking high-resolution digital photographs.28600:14:52,450 --> 00:14:54,760我是佩妮我在乳酪蛋糕店工作Penny. I work at the cheesecake factory.28700:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,180我带你去弄那旋关吧I'll show you the trick with the shower.28800:14:57,710 --> 00:14:58,710"Bonne douche"Bonne douche.28900:14:59,460 --> 00:15:00,860你说什么?I'm sorry? 29000:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,840是法语里"洗个痛快澡"的意思It's french for "good shower. "29100:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,640是一句祝词我能用六种语言来说It's a sentiment I can express in six languages.29200:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,230还是留着博客上说吧霍华德Save it for your blog,howard.29300:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,230洗个痛快澡29400:15:16,330 --> 00:15:18,640好了没问题了是卡住了不好意思All right,there it goes. it sticks. I'm sorry.29500:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,310-好的谢谢 -不用谢-okay,thanks. -you're welcome.29600:15:20,430 --> 00:15:22,470你只要站在... 好吧我...You're just gonna to step right... okay,I'll...29700:15:23,460 --> 00:15:26,110-等等莱纳德 -洗头的那些东西都是谢尔顿的-hey,leonard? -the hair products are sheldon's.29800:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,970我能让你帮个忙吗。

生活大爆炸台词英文Title: "Bazinga! Embracing the Chaos of Life"Life is like a rollercoaster ride, full of unexpected twists and turns that can leave us feeling exhilarated one moment and overwhelmed the next. In the midst of this chaos, it's easy to feel like we're constantly being bombarded with challenges and obstacles that test our patience and resilience. But perhaps, it's time to take a page out of the playbook of the iconic TV show "The Big Bang Theory" and embrace the chaos with a resounding "Bazinga!"The catchphrase "Bazinga!" from the show has become synonymous with unexpected pranks and surprises, but it also embodies the spirit of resilience and humor in the face of adversity. Instead of letting the chaos of life bring us down, why not adopt a "Bazinga!" mindset and approach every challenge with a sense of humor and determination?In the words of Sheldon Cooper, one of the show's beloved characters, "Bazinga!" is a reminder that life is full of surprises, and it's up to us to navigate through them with grace and a good sense of humor. Whether it's dealing with a difficult boss, navigating through a tough relationship, or facing unexpected setbacks, embracing the chaos with a "Bazinga!" attitude can help us tackle life's challenges with a newfound sense of confidence and resilience.So, the next time life throws a curveball our way, let's channel our inner Sheldon Cooper and respond with a resounding "Bazinga!" Instead of letting the chaos overwhelm us, let's embrace it with a sense of humor and determination. After all, as the characters from "The Big Bang Theory" have shown us, life's challenges are just opportunities for growth and self-discovery.In conclusion, let's take a cue from "The Big Bang Theory" and adopt a "Bazinga!" mindset in our daily lives. Instead of letting the chaos of life bring us down, let's face it head-on with a sense of humor and resilience. As Sheldon Cooper would say, "Bazinga!"is the perfect response to life's unexpected surprises, and it's a reminder that we have the power to overcome any challenge that comes our way.。