美文诵读一二

美文诵读一: Treat people with kindnessIf you treat people with kindness and respect, they'll be more flexible and responsive. We all want love and respect but sometimes we don't want to give love and respect, especially when we are at odds with someone and we're feeling hurt and angry.If you want a better relationship with anyone "Stroking" is mandatory. If you look down on people and treat them badly, they'll retaliate and appear just as annoying and hostile as you expected. If, in contrast, you treat people with kindness and respect in spite of your anger, they'll nearly always be far more flexible and responsive to your feelings and point of view.Some people are resistant to this technique. "I shouldn't have to be nice to him. He doesn't deserve it." is a common opinon. Others are "I'm just too angry to be nice to her", "I can't think of anything positive to say about him", and " Why should I be nice to her when she's treated me like this". But if you decide to convey genuine respect in the heat of battle, your efforts will be far more effective.How to use "Stroking"* Give the other person a genuine compliment. Comment on some positivequality or trait they have.* Let the other person know that you like, respect, or admire them, and value their friendship even though you're both feeling angry or disagreeing with each other right now.* Convey warmth and caring through your body language, showing that you're interested, open and receptive, as opposed to frowning, crossing your arms across your chest, and shaking your head in a judgemental way. But do you have to stroke people who really are jerks? Isn't it better to be honest and let people know what idiots they are? The answer is that you don't have to treat anyone with respect. You can respond to people any way you want to. It just depends on the kinds of relationships you want.The Power of AdmirationSometimes we all have to express negative feelings and tell people something that may upset them. Stroking is invaluable in this situation as well. We all have a deep need to feel admired and respected. If you treat people with kindness and make sure that your comments will never hurt or humiliate them, you can get away with saying just about anything. If you have to criticise someone, but you convey liking or respect at the same time, that person won't be so tempted to get defensive and dismiss your comments.Here's a useful exercise that will help you develop greater skill in thistechnique:Over the next week, make it a point to give out at least twenty-five compliments. Make sure that you include friends, family, shop assistants, and even strangers. I do this all the time. You will be amazed at how people, even strangers will light up when you say something next to them.美文诵读二：The Art of ForgivenessTo forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible -- and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health."People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. "So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. "Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Frederic says. Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing," Frederic says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time." Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge,"Frederic says."But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."。