美剧介绍：生活大爆炸

生活大爆炸简介
《生活大爆炸》是一部美国情景喜剧，由查克·洛尔和比尔·普拉迪共同创作。

该剧首播于2007年，一经推出便受到了广大观众的喜爱。

剧中讲述了四个天才科
学家和一个漂亮但不太聪明的女孩之间发生的一系列搞笑故事。

主要角色包括，谢尔顿·库珀（由吉姆·帕森斯饰演），他是一个天才物理学家，拥有超凡的智商和极端的洁癖；莱纳德·霍夫斯塔特（由约翰尼·盖尔克奇饰演），他是谢尔顿的室友，也是一名物理学家，与谢尔顿形成了鲜明的对比；霍华德·沃洛维茨（由西蒙·赫尔伯格饰演），他是一名工程师，喜欢穿着夸张的衣服和使用滑稽的语言；拉杰什·库斯拉帕里（由卡纳尔·纳亚尔饰演），他是一名天才天文学家，但有一个问题，就是在女性面前会变得哑口无言；最后是佩妮（由凯莉·库柯饰演），她是一名漂亮但不太聪明的女孩，与四个科学家形成了一段有趣的友谊。

这部剧以幽默的方式展现了科学家们在日常生活中的种种囧事，他们的爱情、
友情和工作。

《生活大爆炸》不仅在美国取得了巨大成功，也在全球范围内赢得了无数粉丝。

该剧的幽默和情感深深地吸引着观众，让人在笑声中感受到了生活的温暖和快乐。

总的来说，《生活大爆炸》是一部非常有趣的情景喜剧，它以独特的方式展现
了科学家们的生活，让观众在欢笑中感受到了生活的美好。

如果你喜欢幽默风趣的剧情和搞笑的对话，那么这部剧绝对不容错过！。

It's pretty late. You think we got timeto run somemore simulations on the cooling system? Sure, I'm still figuring out the thermoacoustic expander. Oh, while you do that I am going topump cerebral spinal fluid through my brain cellsto remove the metabolic by-products of the day's thoughts. What?It's called sleep and it's my bedtime.Nighty-night, y'all.Hey, hey, hey, you're not going anywhere.We only have two months to deliver this to the Air Force because of you.I know, I was there.Well, wake up!We're gonna put in a lot of late nights.How late?Well, I don't know, midnight, 1:00.One o'clock?I'm not a raccoon.If you're tired, have some coffee.What? You have some coffee.I am having coffee!- And look how irritable it's making you! - Guys!We're not gonna get anything done if we start fighting. Now, can you please try to soldier through?Fine.I don't think I can go much longer.It's been three and a half minutes, wake up!I had a bad dream that my best friend became a tyrantand forced me to stay up all night to work.Oh, I had a good dream that when I carried you to bed,I let your head hit the wall and I laughed.Good morning.What is this?Well, we didn't see you last night,we're not gonna see you today,so we thought we could have breakfast together.Oh, that is so nice.Ow, it does hurt!So, what are you guys gonna do today?Well, Sheldon was supposed to go to this party with me this afternoon, but I don't think that's happening.Oh, that was never happening.Oh, I'll go.I like a party.Well, to be honest, it's not like a "party" party,it's more like a gatheringwhere scientists of different disciplines get togetherto share their workand keep current on what's going on in other fields.I don't know why I called it a party, sorry.It's okay, I'll still go.You don't think you'll be bored?Oh, I'll have some wineand listen to people go on about crap I don't understand.I mean, how is it any different than every single day of my life?I won't be there.Look at that, it is a party.Sorry I have to work all weekend.It's okay.Thanks again for breakfast.Well, I didn't get to see you last night.It was the least I could do.You shouldn't have made the alarm code his birthday.So, what should we do today?Oh, I appreciate it,but you don't have to spend your day off with me.Well, I don't mind.Oh, you want go to the mall and look at baby stuff?Not really.Oh, come on, we could share a pretzeland get sideways glances from racist old ladies.I get enough of that when I take Howardto my grandmother's for Christmas.Oh, I know,why don't we get started on clearing out the baby's room?Isn't it a little early for that?You have to get to it eventually.Oh, there's so much junk in there, it's embarrassing.How can you be embarrassed around me?I'm gonna be in the room with you when you give birth.I don't think you are.You didn't think I was gonna be in your kitchen this morning, yet here I am.Hey, kid.Huh, what?You look tired.Why don't you have an energy drink?Everyone's doing it.Oh, no, thank you, those have caffeine in them.Oh, sorry, I thought you were cool.I am cool.This is Yoo-hoo,chocolate milk's delicious watery cousin.All right.But if you ever want to feel like you have superpowers,try one of these.Superheroes take performance-enhancing chemicals?You bet.You know why Hulk is so strong?Steroids.You know why Batman wanders around at nightgetting into fights?Scotch.I am facing a great deal of work.And I do like things better when famous people also like them. Here.It's on the house.The first one's free?Flash, how do you stay in business?You want to know my secret?I bought stock in Marvel.I bought stock in Marvel.Hi, Bert.This is my friend, Penny.- Hi. - Hey, come on in.I'll gonna go turn on some rock music.That's a geology joke.Bert's a geologist.And a joker.How early are we?Oh, actually, we're an hour late.I suddenly wish Sheldon was here.I don't even know where to begin.Well, in The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews says,Well, in The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews says,"Let's start at the very beginning.A very good place to start."Oh, I was gonna start at the end.Thank God you're here.Well, I think the first thing we should get rid of isthat tone.Sorry.I should probably keep this in case we have a girl.Oh, that's a nice one.Was it yours when you were little?My dad built it for me.Wow, it's so cute.This was the husband and this was the wife.They'd go out on adventures together.Cruises, skiing, horseback riding.That was really me just duct taping them to our dog.Oh, and did they have kids?They did,but the mommy and daddy didn't like them,so they shipped them off to an orphanageI made out of a shoebox.Yeah, that's not worrisome at all.Not every girl dreams about being a mom.Sometimes you think you're never gonna have kidsand one day you wake up and you're pregnant.And it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog!I skipped spin class for this.Why is it taking him so longto get a drink out of a vending machine?Oh, it's complicated.He finds pushing that little doorand reaching up into the machine uncomfortably intimate. Gentlemen, I am ready to work.To quote The Martian, "Let's science the feces out of this!" That's The Martian the book and The Martian the movie, not Marvin the Martian.Although to quote Marvin the Martian,"I claim this planet in the name of Mars."Are you okay?Oh, I'm fantastic, never been better.I had my first energy drink and I feel great.Hey, you guys want to wrestle?We can do arm, thumb, mud, sumo.Nah, we're not fat enough, or wearing diapers.You wanted him awake.So should we talk to each other or mingle?I don't know where everyone is.Yeah, I mean,I could see him eating one or two guests,but not a whole party.Well, I guess this is kind of a bust.You don't have to stay.I'm gonna start cleaning up.Okay.I feel so bad about leaving him here.Oh, it's funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you. Hey, listen,could you not say anything about thisto the people at the university?You know, 'cause...you're you and I'm me, and it's kind of embarrassing.Wait, what do you mean "she's her"?Well, you know how Amy's the coolest girl on campus, right? - No. - No.Oh yeah, everybody thinks so.What?You tell me about your foot fungus, but this is a secret?I'm sure it's just 'cause I'm dating Sheldon.Mm, actually, I think Sheldon's popularbecause he's dating you.Now Sheldon's popular?What is happening?Maybe we should break for lunch.What time is it?According to the world's worst cuckoo clock, it's 2:00.My head hurtsand I'm more tired than ever.Why don't you just go home?No, I can do this.I just, I just need another energy drink.Oh, no.What?I want another one.So?That's a craving.That's a sign of chemical dependency.You only had one.No, I know,but plenty of things are addictive after a single exposure.I mean, crack cocaine, nicotine, Pringles.You know once one pops one just can't stop.You can't develop a problem that fast.You want to bet? Oh, great,now I'm addicted to gambling.We can't afford to lose any more time.Well, this probably won't work, but has anyone ever tried to just haul off and whoop the crazy out of him?That's not helpful.It's fun to think about, but it's not helpful.Hey, Sheldon, we are on a serious time crunch.We can't do this without you.Can you please pull it together?I'm sorry. Yes, of course.Thank you.Just, please, bear with meif I display symptoms of caffeine withdrawal.No worries.You guys stink.You guys stink.Sorry I flipped out on you.I think it's just hormones.I think you were mean before you were pregnant, but it's fine.So, uh, instead of cleaning out the room,why don't we just decide on a theme for the nursery? Does it really need one?Of course it does.Didn't your baby room have a theme?Well, it doubled as my dad's office,and he was a cop,so I guess the theme was bloody homicide photos. Oh. Mine was Winnie the Pooh.But anyway...why don't we just take a step backand start with a color?Right? There are so many amazing ones.Red, blue, green, purple...Are you just gonna name all the colors?Well, not now.I don't care what color the room is.Okay, well, I'm just trying to help you.Well, you're not, so just drop it!I'm clearly upset. Why aren't you following me?Sorry! Sorry!And when Amy started using a solution of chromic acid and white vinegar to clean all her lab equipment,all of a sudden, everybody was doing it.You trend setter!Just the right idea at the right time.Okay, okay, so Amy's cool, Sheldon's cool.- Tell me about Leonard. - Who?Leonard Hofstadter.Oh, him. I guess he's all right.Apparently he tricked some hot girl into marrying him. That's me, I'm her.You know, he didn't trick me.He just wore me down.It makes sense you two are friends.I mean, hot girls always stick together.And you thought this wasn't gonna be a great party. You know, I had no ideaCaltech is exactly like my high school.Well, it's not exactly like it.We're all extremely smart.Wow... you popular girls are mean.I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some?Uh, you're really going to have caffeine in front of me when I'm trying to get my life back on track?Uh, okay, let's pretend you do have a problem.- I do. - You don't.- Yeah, but I do. - No, you don't!But let's say you do.And don't say you do, because you don't!Now, wouldn't you think that throwing yourselfinto your work would be the best way to deal with it? - With what? - Your problem.I thought I didn't have a problem.That was painful to watch.So where are we going?I don't know.Okay.How Thelma and Louise of us.How Thelma and Louise of us.Raj, why don't I care about anything?I'm sorry?It's my baby.I-I should care about nurseries and colors,and I don't-- what's wrong with me?Well, crime-scene photos near your crib spring to mind.I keep waiting to feel excited,but it's not happening.What if it never happens?Bernadette, come on, look,you're overthinking this, okay?You're gonna be an amazing mom.Even if you don't believe it,I know you have maternal instincts.Once, I was supposed to babysit my brothers.Our neighbor found them naked in the backyard eating crickets. Happy and well-fed.You see, that's what I'm taking from that story.Leonard, can I ask you a question?Is it about the rotational symmetries you should be figuring out or your fake caffeine problem?Howard, can I ask you a question?No.All right, I'll just toss this out to the room.Um, I was thinking that the best wayto fight my addiction is by weaning myself off in steps. Now, I couldn't find a caffeine patch,but I did find what claims to bea mind-boosting caffeine suppository.Yeah.You know, the interesting fact about the rectum...Sheldon!We are dealing with an impossible deadlinefrom the Air Force because of you.So have an energy drink, don't have an energy drink.Order suppositories and shove 'em wherever you want,I don't care!You don't shove them.They come with an easy-glide applicator. Right. Listen to me.We can't do anything until you do your part. So get up in front of this whiteboard and do it! - I can't. - Yes, you can.No...I can't figure out the math.I've been racking my brain for days,and I've got nothing.Seriously?I can't do it.I'm not as smart as I think I am.I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.It's okay, we'll figure something out.But what if we can't?It'll be fine.You'll see.Sheldon?Buddy?When the baby gets here,you gotta teach me that.Thank you so much, Bert. This was great.My pleasure.You girls want to take homea two-gallon tub of potato salad?I think we're good.Okay, well, thanks for coming by.You're nice people.Well, so are you. In fact, you know what?We will never take you for granite.Did you get that? Granite?A little geology joke.You need to leave.I'm in love with both of you now.- Okay. - Bye.Uh, pull over.What? Why? Who are you calling?You're gonna rat me out to Howard, aren't you? You're such a snitch, no wonder I don't like you. Whoa, I'm calling my dad, okay?He's got experience dealing with pregnant ladies because he's an OBGYN.And experience with crazy ladiesbecause of my mom.Hello, Rajesh.Are you calling to ask for money?What? No.Are you calling to ask for things that cost money? No.Great. What's up?This is my friend, Bernadette.She's pregnant, and she's a bit worried,so I thought maybe you could talk to her.Of course. What seems to be the trouble?Something's wrong.I don't care about any of the baby stuffevery other mom is so into.Honestly, I'm not even sure I like babies.Look, some people are baby people,and some people are not baby people.It doesn't mean you won't love your own baby.But I thought I'd be more excited.Oh, being excited isn't a guarantee of anything.Rajesh's mother was thrilled when she was pregnant with him. After he was born, she doted on his every move.And you know what happened?He broke her heart, moved halfway around the world,and dates only poor white women.So you never know.Thank you. I feel better now.- I don't! - Good.Bernadette, I hope you have a daughter.Uh...I don't know how to say this.Well, you could try starting with "sir".Right. Sorry, sir.He said start with it, not end with it.Sir...We've hit a bit of a snag.We're already behind schedule.The computations required toovercome the deployability issuesare more significant than we thought.I understand that we're under contract,and I don't know what the consequences of violating that are, but, uh... we're not gonna be able to deliverin the time we promised.How long do you need?We-We're thinking... two years.All right.That's it?You're okay with that?You think you're the first government contractorwho isn't gonna deliver on time?We're still waiting for a big space laserReagan ordered to beat the commies.Thanks for understanding, sir.Yes, thank you so much.We-We really appreciate it.All right, pressure's offWanna see a movie?Popcorn's on me.。

Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 您好我是谢尔顿·库珀博士And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. 我是艾米·菲拉·福勒博士And welcome to the first "on location" episode of 欢迎收看首次出外景拍摄的Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler present:谢尔顿·库珀博士与艾米·菲拉·福勒博士之Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Fun with Flags. 谢尔顿·库珀博士的《欢乐的旗帜》Hit it. 奏乐♪ For joy and fun ♪ ♪ 论旗乐无穷 ♪♪ There's no better manner ♪ ♪ 什么比得上 ♪♪ Than to fly a pennant ♪ ♪ 三角旗飘扬 ♪♪ Flag or banner ♪ ♪ 旗与帜 ♪♪ What fills my heart ♪ ♪ 填满我的心 ♪♪ And makes my eyes moist ♪ ♪ 弄湿我眼眶 ♪♪ Sending a flag ♪ ♪ 把一面旗子 ♪♪ Up a pole on a hoist ♪ ♪ 升上旗杆顶 ♪♪ Fun with flags ♪ ♪ 欢乐的旗帜 ♪♪ Fun with flags ♪ ♪ 欢乐的旗帜 ♪♪ Oh! Say can you see ♪ ♪ 哦你可看见 ♪♪ Oh! Say can you see ♪ 这句出自美国国歌歌词♪ It's fun with flags ♪ ♪ 是欢乐旗帜 ♪♪ Fun with flags. ♪ ♪欢乐的旗帜 ♪As you may notice, just one of the changes around here 各位观众可能注意到了节目其中一个改变is our new house band. 是多了驻场乐队Who haven't learned their place yet. 还没搞清谁主谁次的乐队We're also coming to you live from a different apartment. 另一个改变是我们在不同公寓给大家做直播Dr. Fowler and I began an experiment in living together 我与富勒博士在她的公寓遭水灾后after her apartment became water damaged. 开始了一段同居实验This is our friend Penny's place. 这里是我们好友佩妮的公寓You may remember her from our episode 你们可还记得她上过"Flags and the People Who Don't Understand Them." "旗帜与不懂旗帜的人们"那一集So, in the spirit of cohabitation, 本着同居生活的精神the theme of today's episode is flags of two regions 本集的主题将是两个地区coming together as one. 合二为一后的旗帜Such as the flag of St. Kitts and Nevis. 比如圣基茨和尼维斯[加勒比海岛国]So, let's roll up our "Sleevis" and get to know Nevis. 咱们来把"圣"余袖子卷起好好认识"尼"吧Well, I-I like that, but next time check with me. 这音效不错但下次先问过我同意Did you know that the flag 你们知道这旗子was designed by a student named Edrice Lewis...是由一位名叫埃德里切·路易斯的学生所设计...I can't believe I'm saying this, 真不敢相信我会说这话but can we watch the news or something? 但我们能转台看个新闻之类的吗It's cute, they're having fun living together. 很有爱啊他们很享受同居生活Yeah, I wonder what they're gonna do when her apartment's ready. 不知道她公寓修好后他们打算怎么办Actually, it's been ready for weeks. 其实已经修好好几周了What do you mean? 你这话什么意思Well, they finished the work early, 工人提前完工but she's been telling Sheldon they're behind schedule. 但她一直告诉谢尔顿进度严重落后So, she's just been lying to him? 所以她就这么一直在骗他啊Well, you've lied to Sheldon. 你也骗过谢尔顿啊Yeah, but to make him leave, 但我骗他是为了让他滚蛋not to make him stay. 不是骗他留下啊Buda and Pest united to form Budapest. 布达与佩斯融合成了布达佩斯现在是匈牙利首都以前俩城市分别在多瑙河两岸后来合而为一And that's why Budapest 这就是为什么布达佩斯is the "Budabest." 棒棒"达"Now. 上音效Oh, right. 好...Thank you for your services, gentlemen. 先生们感谢你们的贡献Now, I'm hoping to broaden our audience 希望你们年轻朝气的摇滚乐with your youthful rock and roll music. 能帮我们扩大观众群Aw, you think you have an audience, that's funny. 你还觉得自己有观众群真是又萌又好笑We don't get paid? Nothing? 没工钱吗屁都没吗Not even a sandwich? 连个三明治工餐都没有吗It's almost dinner time. 要到晚饭时间了You in the mood for anything? 有什么想吃的吗Yeah, we could get Thai food near your apartment 我们可以去吃你公寓附近的泰国餐馆and then drop in and check on the progress. 顺便经过去看看修缮进度Oh, you don't want do that, it's a construction zone. 你会后悔的那里可是工地So? 哪又怎么了Well, what about your fear of stray nails and butt cracks? 工人会乱扔指甲乱露股沟你不是怕有人这样吗I am terrified of stepping on a nail 我害怕的是踩到指甲and falling into a butt crack. 还有跌倒脸摔进股沟中Anyway, how about dinner? 所以晚餐到底怎么样You know, if you'd like, 你要是愿意I could call your landlord and complain. 我可以打给你的房东替你抱怨啊Thanks, but you don't have to. 谢谢但是不用这样啦Oh, I don't mind, I'm very good at complaining. 没事的我可是抱怨投诉大师If it were an Olympic sport, I'd complain about 如果有奥林匹克投诉赛我就会抱怨what a stupid sport it is and then I'd take home the gold. 这是什么傻逼运动然后带着金牌回国Good stuff. 有意思So, uh, what about dinner? 所以晚餐到底吃什么Is it me 是我的错觉or are you purposely changing the subject? 还是你一直故意在转移主题No. 才没有And on the subject of subjects, 说到主题这件事is your use of the word "subject" the same or different 你用的"主题"这个词跟平常我们说到的as when we speak about the subject of a king? 一国之主的臣民[同词]是一样的吗I have a feeling you're still doing it. 我感觉到你还在转移话题But I find that topic irresistible, so, 但我觉得这个主题我无法抗拒now, in ancient Mesopotamia, 所以说在古代的美索不达米亚the king referred to the people as his property. 一国之主把人民视为他的财产I'm serious, 我是说真的JPL's actually developing a robot arm 美国喷气推进实验室真的在研究that could grab an asteroid before it hits us. 能在小星星砸到地球前就抓住它的机械手臂So their plan for saving the Earth from Armageddon所以他们拯救地球免于受末日般灾害的计划is hoping a bunch of scientists can catch a ball? 就是希望一帮书呆科学家能接住球吗If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale? 如果都是要死我还吃这么健康干嘛You're awful quiet, everything okay? 你静得出奇怎么了吗I'm concerned about Amy. 我有点担心艾米She's acting a bit odd lately. 她最近有点怪怪的Oh. Well, j-just out of curiosity, 我我就有点好奇what registers as odd to you? 什么对你来说能算怪呢Her behavior. 她的行为举止No, I have the feeling that she's hiding something. 我总觉得她有事情瞒着我I wouldn't worry about it. 要我就不会担心这个She's probably just distracted by work. 她可能只是工作上有些烦心事Well, whatever it is, it's troubling me. 不管是什么事这弄得我很闹心And I can't eat, I can't sleep. 我吃不下睡不着And don't even ask about the consistency of my bowel movements.更别提我始终一贯的排便时间You heard him, guys, don't ask. 你们听见啦大伙们不要提Why would she keep something from me, you know? 她为什么要对我有所隐瞒I shared my body with that woman. 我连自己的肉体都跟那女人分享了And my Netflix password. 还有收费视频网站的密码They recommended Stella Got Her Groove Back because of her.她害我推荐列表里出现了爱情烂片Buddy, buddy, listen, 兄弟听我说nothing bad is going on, 没发生什么不好的事情she just... 她只是...she just didn't want you to know that the work on her apartment 她只是不想让你知道其实她的公寓was finished a couple weeks ago. 已经在几周前完工了I don't understand. 我不明白She's enjoying living with you 她喜欢跟你住在一起and she didn't want it to end early. 不想提早结束搬回去So, she's deceiving me 所以她欺骗我in order to spend more time with me. 是为了能跟我多待一段时间Yes. 是的Well, I feel both flattered and hurt. 我真是既开心又伤心呀Like when people say I look like 就像别人说我长得像that skeleton from Nightmare Before Christmas. 《圣诞夜惊魂》里面那个骷髅人that skeleton from Nightmare Before Christmas. 经典美国惊悚动画片Oh my God, that's who you look like. 天啊终于知道你像谁了Sheldon, this is not a big deal. 谢尔顿没什么大不了的It's a little white lie, everyone does it. 只是一个善意的小谎言人人都会这样Not me, 我就不会I'm a 100% honest in all of my relationships. 我在所有感情里都是百分之百的诚实And how single are you right now? 单身狗的生活有多凄惨来着Eating-cake-on-the-toilet single. 独自坐在马桶上吃蛋糕的那种凄惨Well, I won't tolerate deception in my relationship. 我无法容忍感情里出现欺骗I have no choice but to confront her. 我无别选择唯有跟她对质Don't do that, you've got gold here. 千万别你手里握着一张王牌啊Hang onto it until you're in trouble 先收好了等哪天换你做错事了and then... throw it in her face. 然后你就... 把这事甩她脸上What? Why would you tell him that? 什么你为什么要教他这个That's terrible advice. 这个建议太烂了So you wouldn't want to have anything on Penny? 所以你不会想抓住佩妮的任何把柄吗Well, of course not. 当然不想So, if I actually know something right now... 那么假设我现在手握一些把柄...and I do... 我还真有呢......you don't want me to tell you? 你不会想要我告诉你吗Pfft, no. 不想I'll take that as a "Yes." 我知道你内心是"想"的She's secretly been moving your collectibles into storage 她正悄悄地把你的藏品收起来a little at a time and you haven't noticed. 一次收一点而你一直没察觉Are you kidding me? 开什么玩笑See, I've known that for weeks, 是这样的我都知道好几周了but, you know, I waited till the moment 但我一直在等等一个时机when it would cause him the most pain. 一个会让他最痛苦的时机Superman's gone, my stormtrooper's gone. 超人没了帝国突击队没了Your Klingon word-of-the-day calendar's gone. 你的每日克林贡语日历也没了I'd say "damn it" in Klingon, 我真想用克林贡语骂"靠"but that wasn't until next month. 但那个词是在下个月的日历上It's "Khoo-vakh." 是"酷瓦克"Khoo-vakh! "酷瓦克"She took my Where's Waldo. 她把我的沃尔多收起来了She took my Where's Waldo. 儿童寻物绘本主人翁Well, no, no, he's over there. 不他在那边Oh, yeah, there he is. 对哦在那里So, what's the deal with your apartment? 你的公寓到底是什么回事呀Why's it taking so long? 为什么要修这么久Um, it was a drywall problem. 干板墙的问题Oh, no, what happened? 不会吧怎么了Well, the drywall got wet, 干板墙湿了and you do not want wet drywall 没人会想要湿的干板墙because when drywall gets wet, it's really more... 因为干板墙湿了它会变成... Wet wall? 湿墙吗Or damp wall, just as bad. Mm. 或是潮湿的墙反正都不好So why don't they just get more drywall? 那干嘛不直接多弄点干板墙就好啦Well, they went to get some, 工人去买了but the woman at the wall store 但卖墙的那个女人说said it was going on sale and they should wait 墙面正在打折让工人们等等- because the savings... - Okay, are you done? -因为... -你扯够了没Bernadette told me your apartment's ready. 伯纳黛特告诉我你的公寓已经完工了I was done at wet wall, but you wouldn't let it go. 本来在湿墙那里我就想打住可你一直问问问But is Sheldon really believing all this crap? 谢尔顿真的相信你扯的屁话吗Well, he started to question it, but then I fake sneezed on him 他开始质疑但我故意朝他打喷嚏and he ran to take a shower. 他赶紧冲去洗澡了Please don't say anything, I feel terrible about this. 拜托别说了我已经很内疚Oh, don't worry, I won't. 别担心我不会Thanks. 谢谢- "The woman at the wall store?" - Let it go! -"卖墙那个女人" -别问了Are you going to confront Penny? 你会当面质问佩妮这事吗Eventually, I guess. 最后肯定会啊Although, I am kind of curious how long she thinks 尽管我有点好奇她觉得自己可以she can keep hiding my stuff without me knowing. 这样悄悄藏我东西多久不被我发现You know, perhaps instead of confronting them, 或许不跟她们对质we should see how far they're willing to spin their tangled webs.我们可以看看她们这张谎言网可以织多大Like that Spider-Man action figure 就像以前放在你桌面上的that used to be on your desk. 蜘蛛侠活动人偶Oh, my God, I'm going blind. 天啊我真是瞎了眼Hi. Food's here. 饭买回来啦Excellent. 太好了I'm very hungry. 我好饿啊Yeah, speaking of which, 说到这事what's going on with your apartment? 你的公寓是怎么回事Oh, uh, they're still working on it. 工人还在修啊Interesting. 有意思Very interesting. 非常有意思Yeah, we swung by her apartment on the way to the restaurant, 是啊我们去买饭的时候特地跑去看了and they're gonna be fixing it for a while. 估计还有一段时间才能修好Wait, uh... you saw her apartment? 等等你去看她公寓了吗I did, still a mess. 是啊离修好还远呢- Leonard? - Yeah? -莱纳德 -怎么了- Leonard? - Yeah? 我不懂了- Leonard? - Yeah? 佩妮是不是在撒谎- Leonard? - Yeah? 我也不确定W-Why are you speaking Klingon? 你为什么要说克林贡语Why are you speaking English? 那你为什么要说英语This is ridiculous. 你们太荒谬了Penny, do you remember when I taught you Ubbi Dubbi? 佩妮你还记得我以前教过你儿童游戏语吗Penny, do you remember when I taught you Ubbi Dubbi? 当然记得Penny, do you remember when I taught you Ubbi Dubbi? 太好了Penny, do you remember when I taught you Ubbi Dubbi? 谢尔顿发现我说谎的事了吗Penny, do you remember when I taught you Ubbi Dubbi? 如果莱纳德告诉了他Penny, do you remember when I taught you Ubbi Dubbi? 那就很有可能Oh, wait, stop that. 你们不准说鸟语You stop that. 你才不准说外星语呢You stop that. 你听得懂他们在说什么吗You stop that. 一个字都不懂You stop that. 靠Okay. That's enough. You know what? 够了你们这几个What is going on? 到底是怎么回事Fine, I told Sheldon that her apartment's been finished, 好吧我告诉谢尔顿艾米的公寓已经修好了but then you just said it's not, 可你刚才却说没修好so now I'm all confused. 所以我现在也搞糊涂了Penny was just covering for me. 佩妮只是在帮我打掩护而已My place has been ready for two weeks. 我的公寓已经修好整整两周了How could you lie to me? 你怎么能骗我呢Uh, she's enjoyed living with you. 她只是喜欢跟你住在一起It's called being in love. 这就叫陷入爱河Mm-hmm, and what's it called when you secretly get rid 那么你偷偷处理掉老公的私人物品of all your husband's stuff? 这种行为又叫什么Wha... That is not true! 啥...这不是真的Bernadette told Howard, Howard told me. 博纳黛特告诉霍华德霍华德又告诉我了Plus, I can see all my stuff is gone! 再说我自己能看出来东西都不见了Oh, so, you believe your friend, and your friend's wife 比起我来你更相信你朋友朋友的老婆and your own eyes over me? 还有你自己的眼睛吗You really didn't think I'd notice my stuff was missing?你真的以为我不会发现我的东西不见了吗Uh, did you notice your key chain? 你注意到你的钥匙链了吗Where's Batman?! 人家的蝙蝠侠呢Why did you tell Howard I was hiding Leonard's things?你为什么要告诉霍华德我偷藏了莱纳德的东西One sec. 等一下Why did you tell Leonard 你为什么要告诉莱纳德I told you Penny was hiding his things?! 我告诉你佩妮偷藏了他东西It just came up 我们聊到because we-we were talking about secrets and... 秘密的时候就说随口了Wait. 等等Wait. 谁知道艾米公寓的事Everybody stop it with that! 统统不准说鸟语I'm not really a part of this, 我没有参与这些事so I'm just gonna dig in. 我好好坐下来听吧And I'd like to know why you blabbed about my apartment.我想知道你为什么要多嘴说我公寓的事You're up, blabby. 问你呢大嘴巴Amy, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. 艾米我很抱歉我不该乱说话的I guess it's okay. 没关系I'm sorry 抱歉that I lied about my apartment. 我为公寓的事骗了你It's all right. 没关系And... 你呢And what? 我什么呀Your wizard robes are next to go. 下一个丢的就是你的巫师袍Now that everything's out on the table, 现在大家都把话说开了you-you think you two will keep living together? 你们俩还会继续住在一起吗Despite recent events, 撇开最近的事不谈I do consider our experiment in cohabitation 我的确觉得我们的同居实验to have been positive. 得出了正面的结果Are you saying you'd like to live with me? 你是在说你愿意和我一起住吗I'm open to the possibility. 我对此持开放态度I'm open to the possibility. 艾米别激动Whatever. 随便你吧You know, if he moves across the hall for good, 如果他搬到对面去了Leonard could keep the stuff you don't like in Sheldon's old room.莱纳德就可以把你不喜欢的东西搬到谢尔顿卧室里- Solves everything. - That's a great idea! -问题都解决了 -真是个好主意Ooh, maybe I could turn it into a gaming den. 也许我可以把他卧室改成游戏室呢That would be amazing. 那可就好玩了Wait, wait, hold on, do what? 等等你要干什么Excuse me... that's my room. 搞清楚那可是我的房间But you won't be living here. 但你不住在这里了啊But that's my room. 可那是我的房间- But you won't be living here. - But that's my room. -可你已经不住了 -可那还是我的房间You guys might want to start eating. 你们干脆先开始吃吧But you won't be living here. 可你已经不住了Sweetie, once you stop paying rent, 亲爱的从你不付房租的那一天none of this is really yours. 房间就不是你的了But that's my room. 可那仍然算是我的房间But you won't be living here! 可你已经不住了Thank you for understanding. 谢谢你的理解Hey, I get it. 没事我明白Everybody wants to spend more time with me. 每个人都希望多和我黏在一起I'm like a man made of sugar in a world of ants. 我就像是蚂蚁王国里的小糖人Good night. 晚安Mm, night. 晚安If we did continue living together, 如果我俩继续同居would it be here? 我们还会住在这里吗I don't know. 我不知道It-It could be. 有可能吧Of course there's... 当然我们还有...there's always your apartment. 还有你的公寓S-Sure, sure, we-we could live in my apartment. 当然我们也可以住在我的公寓I hate your apartment. 我讨厌你的公寓Sorry, you brought it up? 抱歉是你自己提起来的Well, I suppose we could find a whole new place. 算了也许我们可以重新找个房子住You know, and, technically, 你知道从技术上来说we don't even have to stay in Pasadena. 我们甚至可以不住在帕萨迪纳We could, we could move to Altadena... 我们可以搬去阿尔塔迪纳or a place that doesn't even end in "Dena." 或是其他不是以"迪纳"结尾的地方It's kind of exciting. 想想就觉得兴奋I mean... we could do whatever we want. 我们随心所欲地做任何事But what if we move and we don't like it? 万一搬过去发现我们不喜欢怎么办What if there's a smoker in the building? 万一楼里有抽烟的呢Or pets? 或者宠物Or there could be mold. 兴许还有霉菌There could be traffic noise. 还有可能有交通噪音I'm gonna have to learn a whole new bus route. 我还要学新的公交路线Are you trying to soothe me 你是把《星际迷航》的主题曲by singing the Star Trek theme as a lullaby? 当摇篮曲哼来安抚我吗Yes. 对I'm not a child, don't do that. 我又不是小孩了别这样Sorry. 抱歉Do you know 2001: A Space Odyssey? 你知道《2001太空漫游》吗All right, now that's soothing. 对的这才够抚慰人心Look, I-I get it, this is still my room; 我懂的这里还是我的房间we haven't really made it yours. 我们还没真正把这里变成你的房间Thank you. 谢谢Which is why I got you this Pink Power Ranger. 所以我给你买了粉红战士Put it anywhere you like. 你想放哪都行Okay, but you may feel some discomfort. 好不过塞进去的时候你会感到菊花一紧I'm kidding, I want you to feel at home here. 我开玩笑的我希望你把这里当家Decorate it any way that makes you happy. 就按你喜欢的来装修吧Do you really mean that? 你说真的吗I really do. 真的Great, and just so you know, 太棒了那我也告诉你I'm not getting rid of all your stuff. 我不会把你的东西都扔了的Yeah? What are you keeping? 真的吗你要留什么That candle and you. 那蜡烛和你What about my robot poster? 我的机器人海报怎么办I can make do with just the candle. 只留一个蜡烛我也能过What's going on? 怎么了I'm struggling with the thought of leaving my old bedroom. 一想到要从旧卧室搬走我就浑身难受Can it be more of an internal struggle? 你就不能自己在内心挣扎吗I need to see it. 我必须看它一眼While I'm gone, 我不在的时候don't breathe on my pillow. 呼气不许呼到我枕头上How about if I just don't breathe at all? 那我干脆不呼吸了可好That's my girl. 我的小宝贝最乖了What on earth? 作什么妖呢What is going on?! 这是怎么回事Oh, hey, Sheldon. 谢尔顿We turned your room into a sex dungeon. 我们把你的房间变成性爱地牢啦No! 不要啊What is happening?! 怎么啦Okay, last question. 好吧最后一个问题The chaps he was wearing... assless? 他穿的皮套裤露屁股吗Can we just focus on the decision I'm facing? 能不能只关注我现在要做的决定上We can, but for the record, 可以不过要说清楚all chaps are assless. 所有的皮套裤都是露屁股的Gentlemen, please, 先生们拜托this is a significant decision. 这个是重要决定Now, do Amy and I continue living together? 现在我是要继续和艾米同居Or do I move back in with Leonard? 还是搬回去跟莱纳德住Over my assless chaps you will. 你得踏过我穿露屁皮裤的尸体This isn't complicated. 这事情没那么复杂Do you love Amy? 你爱不爱艾米Yes. 爱Do you like living with her? 你喜欢和她一起住吗Yes. 喜欢Do you know what you need to do now? 现在你明白该怎么办了吧Apparently, figure this out on my own 明白该靠我自己想清楚'cause you guys are no help at all. 因为你们一点屁忙都帮不上What are you doing? 你在干什么I'm just contemplating Buridan's donkey. 我在当布里丹之驴I understand. 我懂了I'll leave you be. 那我不打扰你了What, you're familiar with the reference? 怎么你懂这个哏吗Of course. 当然Jean Buridan proposed a philosophical thesis 让·布里丹提出的一个哲学论点stating that a hungry donkey 说把一头饥饿的驴placed between two equidistant bales of hay 放在两捆完全相同的草料正中间would be paralyzed by indecision 会因无法做决定而卡在原地and would starve to death. 最终活活饿死Exactly. 就是这样Well, I wouldn't want you to starve to death, so... 我不希望你活活饿死所以...here's an eggplant. 给你根茄子Thank you. 谢谢You know, some people believe that Buridan 知道吗有人说布里丹was plagiarizing Aristotle. 是抄袭亚里士多德Really? 是吗Although, in Aristotle's example, 不过在亚里士多德的例子里he proposed an equally hungry and thirsty man 说的是一个口渴与饥饿程度相等的人caught between food and drink. 在食物和水之间犹豫不决Yeah, I wonder if that's related 不知道这和十二世纪的to the 12th century Persian philosopher, al-Ghazali 波斯哲学家安萨里提出的and his story of a man caught between two dates. 一个男人在两个小妞中犹豫不决有没有关系Are you suggesting al-Ghazali was Aristotelian? 你是在说安萨里是亚里士多德派的吗'Cause if anything, he was anti-Aristotelian. 可他是最反对亚里士多德哲学的人Al-Ghazali was anti-Aristotelian? 安萨里反亚里士多德吗Boy, you think you know a guy. 天啊真是知人知面不知心啊Okay. Open your eyes 好了睁开眼睛and see your new room. 看看你的新房间吧I-I know I went a little overboard. 我知道可能有点过了We can always dial it back. 我们随时可以改回去No, no, no, no, no, 不用不用it's-it's important to me 只要你对卧室满意that you have the bedroom you want. 我就开心了Oh, that means so much. I love you. 对我的意义重大我爱你I love you, too. 我也爱你Just hiding some stuff in your closet, don't tell Penny. 往你的橱子里藏点东西不许告诉佩妮。

- Hey, have you ever heard of the Van Nuys Comic-Con? - Yeah. It's a dinky little convention where they sell collectiblesand get sad D-list celebrities to appear. Why?I got asked to sign autographs there.That's awesome!Is this for Serial Ape-ist?Well, it could be for the monkey movie.It could be my hemorrhoid commercial.The list does not go on.- When is it? - It doesn't matter.- I'm not doing it. - What? Why not?You just said yourself, it's sad.Yeah, but it's not pathetic.That's where I draw the line.Come on! We'll have fun.I don't know.You'll have nerds fawning all over you.If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble.I guess it wouldn't hurt to meet some fansand make a little extra money.Yeah.Wow! An appearance by George Lucas......'s dermatologist.- Oh, I want that autograph. - Oh, yeah.You know, with us living together,maybe we could think about having people over.We have people over all the time.We have the maintenance people, the pizza delivery man... ...that UPS driver who feels the need to askhow parts of me are hanging.You know what I meant.All right, fine.Let's say that we were to entertain people.What type of gathering did you have in mind?Huh? A meal? Lunch?Brunch? Dinner?Afternoon tea? A formal tea? Hmm?Is it a party?And if so, what kind of party?A cocktail party?A Tupperware party?Ooh, yeah-- is it a surprise party?Oh, I hope it's not a West Coast party,'cause according to the man on the radio,a West Coast party don't stop.I'm sorry I mentioned it.Oh, don't be. You get your hopes up,I knock them down. That's called teamwork.That's a kick.That's an actual kick.What are you doing?I felt a kick.There's a baby in there.Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.Oh, I mean, I know you're pregnant.I just...never connected the idea of pregnancyand you actually having a baby.Which MIT did you go to?Oh, God, we are not ready to have an infant in this house! We don't have a crib, we don't have diapers.We're not baby-proofed.Anyone can just walk in off the street and lift our toilet lids! Howie, we have time to do all that stuff.Do we?Look at you.Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room.The next person kicking you will be me.Good night.Are we even in a good school...?I warned you, and I did it.What's all this?Oh, everything we need for your autograph session--- head shots, markers. - Okay.Leonard, it's sweet you're excited about this,but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph. Are you kidding?I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature.- Who's that? Oh, I don't even know.I just liked his name. Theo Sassler!Oh, and look at this.I even got a change maker.How much change you want, little lady?Oh, there's so much I want to change.Yeah, well, if it's a dollar, you're in luck.What's going on here?You expressed an interest in having people over,and I feel I dismissed it too quickly.So, I took matters into my own hands,and I arranged a brunch.Well, that's so nice.Who's coming?Oh, uh, Stuart, Bert from the geology lab,and Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs.You mean the Romanian lady on the second floor?Yes.Oh, fun story:she grew up with ten siblings.Or possibly penguins. Her English is atrocious.That's an odd mix of people.Well, for our first time hosting,I thought it would be wise to conduct a trial run.You know, like how I practiced for that Halloween haunted house by going into the bathroom at the bus station.You never went into that haunted house.You never saw what jumped out at me at the bus station. Well, thank you, Sheldon.This is a fun surprise.Well, the real surprise ishow surprised you are that I'm great at surprises.Well, that's not a surprise at all.I mean, if I knew you were good at surprises,I would have expected the surprise,and therefore not have been surprised.But as it is, I didn't know,and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising.Don't get me all randy. Guests are on the way.Hi.Hey, where you been?Oh, we went and did a little shopping for the baby.Wait till you see the crib we found.You bought a crib without me?- You're gonna love it. - Yeah.It's the highest rated one on the market.I wouldn't even call it a crib.I'd call it a Fortress of Solitude for babies.Sounds expensive.Okay, well, I may have gone a bit overboard,but you can't put a price on safety.Though if you did, it's more zeroes than you're expecting.But it's the safest crib you can buy.And if you don't like it, we can return it.- Fine. - In our new minivan.Hey, what's for lunch?You bought a minivan?!It's for the baby, and I didn't buy it.The dealer loaned it to me for a 24-hour test drive.Though we did ding up the back pretty good with the crib,so you might have bought a minivan.I don't want to drive that. It's such a mom car.The guy at the dealership saidthey're not just for moms anymore.Then again, he did think you were my husband.They thought it at the ultrasound.Why not at the car dealership?Never been on this side of the table before.I feel powerful.Really?I feel like I'm selling candy so our team can get new uniforms. Okay, so it's $4.75 for a signed black-and-whiteand $9.95 for a color.Right. Why not five and ten bucks?Well, I brought my moneymaker. Let me shake it.Hey, that guy's looking over here.You think he's your first autograph?I don't know. Be cool. He's coming. He's coming.I love your movie.Well, thanks.It has got to be one of the worst thingsI've ever seen in my life.Your love confuses me.- Would you like an autograph? - Sure.- Okay. Who do I make it out to? - Daniel. - Okay. - I have to ask.Were you trying to be that bad,or are you just a terrible actress?That did not clear things up.That'll be $4.75.Keep the change.But I...Nothing about that was good.There's nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon. The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. If that is too fast around a school,it is certainly too fast around a kitchen. Been 15 minutes. Just sayin'.Okay. I can do this.Just give me a moment...Mimosas coming up.I once left orange juice in my fridge so long, it tasted like a mimosa.How old was it?It's hard to say.I don't remember much after I drank it.Would you like one, Mrs. Petrescu?Yes.Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's.Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's.She's learning English from TV.TV, good. Now back to you.Hey, guys.Hi, Stuart.These are for you.Oh, they're pretty. Thank you.Stuart, this is Bert from the Caltech geology lab,and this is Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs.Nice to meet you.- Hello. - Hey.So, what did I miss?Eh, we watched Sheldon try to open a bottle for 15 minutes.15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance. Anybody else coming to this thing?What's your name?- Jeff. - Okay.My favorite part is your shower scene.Been hearing that a lot today.I even have a screen grab on my phone.Yep, there they are.Okay, let's keep it moving.Here you go.Should've punched that guy.Well, go ahead. He's right over there.Why do you do that? Can't you let me have my moment? - Hello. - Hi.I like your movies.- Thank you! - I saw both of them.I assume we're still talking about the movies,but after today, who knows.You think I could get a picture of us?Oh, sure.And, uh, could you be giving me a kiss?No. She cannot kiss...What is wrong with you people?!- Leonard... - No, no, no. It's not okay.- Who are you? - I'm her husband.No, you're not.I am.Yeah, he really is.No.It's got a rearview camera, there's a DVD player--oh, and check this out.It's like we're living in the future!Hey, show her the trunk! Show her the trunk!Imagine this: you've got the baby in one hand, groceries in the other, and you're thinking,"How am I gonna open this trunk?"I'm probably thinking, "Where's my husband,and why isn't he helping me?"You don't need my help when you can open the trunk with a simple kick of the foot.No, it's a gentle kick; you're doing it wrong.Here. Give me those.Uh, maybe it was more of a circle?It's weird that guy thought you were a couple.- Yes! - Yes!See?Easy.And look at all this cargo space.You know, we'll get the crib outand you can take it for a test-drive.I'm telling you, this van is gonna be...Oh, is it your back?Uh... yeah.Anyway, let's just get in and see if the GPScan take us to the nearest emergency room.So until Amy's apartment is fixed,she and I are living here together.I lived with my old girlfriend.She was a geologist, too.Things didn't work out?I came home from work one day and she had taken everything. I'm warning you,hide your good rocks.My sister's husband took all her things, too.Story at 11:00.Really, no one else is coming?Oh, this is it.You are the practice round.Practice round? For-for what?Uh, no. He-he just means thatyou were the first people we thought of.You know, exactly.We've never thrown a brunch before,and I wanted to work out all the kinks.So, I'm like a lab ratbefore your real friends come over?You see, your words sound reasonable,but your face looks angry.Help me out here. This is not where I shine.Stuart, you know you're one of our favorite people.Okay, now, see, you look sincere,but your words are completely false.I'm glad we did this test run.These brunches are wild!But how did you get her to go out with you?Well, she moved in across the hall.And he started to slowly wear me down.Like a river carves a canyon.Yeah, except the river kept showing me his Pokemon cards. Ready to go?Hang on. This guy's telling mehow he got the Serial Ape-ist girl to marry him.This guy?But he's wearing a change maker.I think it's hot.That's right.I'm her change daddy.What was I thinking?Wolowitzes are not a lifting people!We tip the lifting people!Do we really have to sit for hours in the emergency room? They're just gonna give you ice and Advil like last time. You're gonna feel terrible when I'm in a wheelchair. Which, by the way, would fit easily in the backof this award-winning minivan.Fine, we'll go to the E.R.Just stop selling me on the van.You're right. It sells itself.You have to admit, it's a pretty smooth ride.I was hoping it'd be quieter.If childbirth is half this bad,you are so screwed!- Are we there yet?! - Soon.Why is it taking so long?!H-Howard, Howard, look at the DVD screen.I put on Batman: The Animated Series. Your favorite! I'm in too much pain to watch cartoo...Oh! This is a good one.I've been babysitting him way longer than you have. Fine. I'll buy the stupid van.This is the best blintz I've ever had.Oh. Thank you.It almost makes up for the incredibly awkward turn things took earlier.You know what, I-I think I'm just gonna go.No, Stuart, don't.No, I-I consider you and Sheldon like my family, and I'm not even sure you think of me as a friend. You have any idea how that feels?We're so sorry.I'm always the last one anybody thinks of.Well, no, that's not true.I mean, sometimes it's Koothrappali.But we're not supposed to say that'cause he's a minority.Bye.Stuart, wait.I do know what it feels like to be left out.I know how it feels, too.All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it. Stuart, perhaps we do take you for granted,and that is not acceptable.Please know that you truly are a valuable memberof our social group.Thank you.You know, in fact, I'd like to propose a toast.To Stuart.A fine man,a good friend and a wonderful guest.- Hear, hear. - Cheers.Cheers. Filmed before a live studio audience.And that is how a short asthmatic scientistlanded a stone cold fox.I didn't know you can propose to the same personso many times.The third time, I did it in skywriting,but she never looked up.You know, once, I proposed to him.Yeah. I said no.Why?I just wanted to make her work for it.Yeah, that's gonna cost you later.Hang on. Is she just with you because you're rich?She makes more money than I do!What?! Who are you?!Do you know what else I love about you?Y-Your handwriting is impeccable!Thank you for noticing!No, I mean it. I mean it.It's like you have the soul of a label maker.You know what I love about you? Hmm?You never leave the house without a paper clip!You never know when two pieces of papermight temporarily need fastening in the top left corner.I also love how you never use swear words.You know, it turns out,you can hurt people just as well without 'em.Maybe I can get a little help putting some of this stuff away. Oh, calm down.I already put away five of these!You see?No muss, no fuss, not a single cuss.。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...I was offered a summer research fellowship at Princeton.A fine institution.The place where Albert Einstein taught,and where Leonard got his PhD,so it may have gone downhill.Gentlemen, you may remember Dr. Nowitzki.She's back at Caltech for her postdoc.Question. are you seeking a romantic relationship with me? What if I were?Well, that would raise a number of problems.We're colleagues, I'm currently in a relation...Amy? Amy.Amy?Amy?Will you marry me?One moment, please.Really, you're going to answer that right now?It's Leonard.I don't want to be rude.Hello?Oh, hey, where you been?We've been calling you for hours.Oh, I'm sorry, my phone was on "Airplane" Mode. Why?Because I was on an airplane.Hey, put him on speaker.Yeah. Hey, where are you?I came to Princeton to see Amy.It's a funny story, actually.I was having lunch with Dr. Nowitzki,and she kissed me.- Excuse me? - What?I'm sorry?And in that moment, I realizedthat Amy was the only woman I ever wanted to kissfor the rest of my life.So I came to New Jersey to ask her to marry me.Oh, that's so sweet.- Sheldon... - Yeah, althoughthere was one man whose blessing I needed first.I've thought about it, and I really want to spendthe rest of my life with Amy.Do I have your blessing?Well, Sheldon......I think you should make her finger like Saturnand put a ring on it.You asked Stephen Hawking and not her father? Stephen Hawking's a genius.If he said no, I wasn't gonna waste my time on her father. But you did ask my father?I did. He said yes.Although, not in a robot voice, so it wasn't nearly as cool. Okay. Oh, my God, I can't believe you guys are engaged. We're not engaged, yet.She's taking forever to answer.Because you're on the phone!We'll call you back.She said yes.Yay! Congratulations!Mother, I have some good news to share.We're engaged.I am so happy for you two, but I'm not surprised.I've been praying for this.Well, God had nothing to do with it.It happened because I was kissing another woman,and it made me realize I wanted to be with Amy.More than one woman was interested in you?I might have prayed a little too hard.Wait, oh, and I just...I want to let you know right nowthat we are not getting married in a church.That's all right, Sheldon.Anywhere Jesus is is a church.Well, he won't be at our wedding.He's in my heart, so if I'm there,he'll be there.Okay, well, then, he's your plus-one.You don't get to bring anyone else.That's fine. Love you.Love you, too. Bye.Lord, thank you.Even though you can do anything,that was mighty impressive.We're engaged.Oh, my God, that's amazing!Wait, uh, tell me everything.Well, Dr. Nowitzki was kissing me...Okay, you can stop leading with that part of the story. Well, congratulations.I'm so happy for you two.Hold on, I have to tell Bernadette.Hey, Bernie, guess what?Sheldon and Amy got engaged. Can you believe it? Oh, my God. I cannot believe it.She's so happy... I think she's crying.Do you think Sheldon's gonna wantsome weird Star Trek wedding?I don't know.Well, Leonard could barely finish the words "Doctor Who wedding cake"before I shut that down hard.Are you listening to me?Yeah, you're mean to Leonard. I heard you.Is everything okay?Look, I'm gonna tell you something,but you can't freak out,because I'm already freaking out.Oh, my God, what is it?I'm pregnant again.Wha...Interesting.Howard's gonna lose his mind.Wait, you haven't told him yet?No.You told me first? Oh, Bernie!This wasn't supposed to happen-- we were careful. Yeah, I didn't even think you could get pregnant while you were breastfeeding.Well, guess what? You can.Okay, look, look, this is a good thing.Halley's gonna have a little brotheror sister to play with.I guess that would be pretty cute.And, you, know, I was a surprise to my parents, and my dad said it was the best thingthat ever happened to them.Okay. Maybe this baby actually is a blessing. Oh, my God, honey, of course it is.How am I pregnant again?Yeah, what were you thinking?All right, I'm all checked in to my flight.Well, I'm sad you're leaving.Why'd you only book a flight for one day?I came here to propose.If you'd said no, I wouldn't want to stick aroundlooking at your stupid face.Now, mind you, your face is only stupidin the "No" version of the story.But I said yes, so I get a lifetime of this.Yes, you do, smart face.Why don't you stay a few extra days?Well, I don't have any other clothes.We'll get you some.Oh, I don't know, I'm pretty particular.Well, there's a comic book store less than a mile from here. Perfect, let's go shopping.Oh, um, and I'm having dinner with some colleagues tonight. I'm sure they'd love to meet you.Come on, what do you say?Aw, you're nagging me.It's like we're already married.Is that a yes or a no?Geez, save some for the honeymoon.Look at Nowitzki over there.I can't believe she tried to stealSheldon from Amy.You know what?I'm gonna go there and tell her that they're engaged now and that her little plan didn't work.Because you're sticking up for Sheldon,or because you're still mad she rejected you?Too far away, can't hear you.Hello, Ramona.Hello.Why are you sitting by yourself?Oh, that's right,Sheldon's in New Jersey being engaged to Amy.I heard.Now that Sheldon's out of the picture,I could give you one more chance to go out with me. Nope, I'm good.You sure?I will not ask again.I sincerely hope not.Very well.I'm going to leave before this gets awkward.Want me to make dinner?Uh, sure, but first, why don't you have a seat?There's something I need to show you.Ooh, if it's how to make dinner, that'd be great.Is this a... pregnancy test?Yes.That means... positive?Yes.No.Yes.N-- No.Yes.No!How could this even happen?Uh, w-- we were careful.- Well, it did. - No!-Yes! Yes! - No! No!Okay! Okay! Okay!Well, w-what are we gonna do?What do you mean what are we gonna do? We're gonna have another baby.- No! No! that!-Stop-Yes!No, I'm trying!-Look, I know it's scary, but...we're both responsible adults, we can do this. You really think so?No!- Hey, Stuart. - Oh, hey, Raj.What can I help you with?I need to buy an engagement gift.Well, you came to the wrong place.It's for Sheldon and Amy.- No way! They're engaged? - Yeah.Well, that's exciting news.Who would've thought Sheldon and Amy would be the next two to tie the knot?Tell me about it. I'm the onewho caught the bouquet at Leonard and Penny's wedding.抢到捧花的人会延续幸福/最快下一个结婚Okay.Uh... you know,they might like this.Superman and Wonder Woman, it's kind of romantic.You know what?Why am I buying them a gift?They have love.Screw them and their happiness.What do you have for someone who's bitter and alone? Literally everything.Sheldon, these are the heads of my research team.- Oh, hello. - Dr. Zane, Dr. Harris,this is my fiancé, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.That's the first time I've said thatand it kind of gave me the goose bumps.Dr. Cooper,we are so excited to meet you.Well, that's very kind of you.If you'd like, I could autograph your menus after dinner, yeah? But I better not see those on eBay.No, no, no, we're just excited to meet the manwho landed this brilliant woman here.That wasn't hard,she threw herself at me.Now, getting the universe to show me its naughty bits,that-that took some doing.Sheldon's a physicist.Oh, that's nice.Amy, I recently read your paper on lesionsin the olfactory receptors in the brain.It was inspired.Oh, well, I guess it didn't stink.But if it did, that rat wouldn't have known it.I'm sorry,I'm sure you don't want to sit hereand listen to a bunch of work talk.Oh, no, I love it.No, but let's talk about work.Amy's work, my work.Yeah, why don't we start with my work?Actually, I do have a question for Dr. Cooper.When Amy first told you about her approach to synaptic tracing, did you think it was gonna revolutionize the field?Really?That's your question?What are you, Entertainment Tonight?You know what?Let me give you a better question. Here,um, "Dr. Cooper,I heard you were working on a top-secret projectfor the U.S. Military.Why don't you tell us about that?"See, that's a great question.Okay, what was that like?Oh, I can't tell you that, it's top-secret.Boy, that was exhausting.You know, no offense, but your colleagues were pretty rude. Really, they were rude?Yes.They just kept talking about you and how great you are,no matter how many times I brought me up.You know, these are my colleaguesand they want to talk about my work.Why does that bother you so much?Because I was there.It's like having Optimus Prime over to dinnerand not asking him to turn into a truck.You know what, Sheldon?You're not always the smartest person in every room.You may not even be the smartest person in this room.Oh, I am sorry.What, is Neil deGrasse Tyson hiding behind the couch? What, is Neil deGrasse Tyson hiding behind the couch?'Cause if he is, he's not that smart,it's pretty dusty back there.Hey, where are you going?I'm storming off to my room.Well, then where am I supposed to storm off to?Well, you're so smart, why don't you figure it out?Is there another bedroom?Perhaps a-a den?So, how are you guys doing with all the newevents in your womb?Good, you know?Obviously, it was a surprise.There was some crying and some yelling.Some suggestion of make-up sex that did not go over well, even though it's not like we can get more pregnant.But then we realized that it's a gift, in the sensethat we didn't ask for it,and we may not have chosen it...And we already have one.You know, whenever I find a top I like,I always go back and get a second one in a different color. Which I hope is not the case with your baby.I know you guys are freaked out, but you're great parents,and if you ever need help, we are here for you.Yeah, anything at all, just ask.Ooh, you know what you could do?You could have a baby, too.I'm sorry, what?No, that's a great idea, we could go through it together.Wouldn't that be fun?You guys were just sayinghow freaked out and miserable you are.I say a lot of crazy things.I'm pregnant and hormonal.Do it! Have a baby, do it!Come on, it'd be so cute, our kids playing together?What do you say, why don't you two hit the old mattressand whip up a family?Okay, we're not gonna have a babyjust to make you guys feel better.Yeah, if we're gonna have a baby it's gonna be when we are ready, or when I'm certain Penny is gonna leave me.Exactly.They're my friends, and I should be happy for them.A-And I'm trying,but all I feel is this gnawing, empty sensation in my gut.I had that once.Turned out it was a tapeworm.Cool. Uh...It's just...it's hard talking to my other friends about this, but I knew you would understand.Why is that?Because you and I are both alone,which is actually kind of comforting,because at least we can be alone together.Mm. This is-this is awkward.I, um, I was actually gonna close up a little early tonight 'cause I have a date.Really?Yeah.Forgive me if I'm having trouble being happy for you. Don't be silly, I'm loving your pain.Is this how our marriage is going to be?Sometimes people will be more interestedin talking to her than to me?Are you sitting in a bathroom?Yes.I needed a place to storm off toand it was all that was available.Fine.But if I hear a flush, this conversation is over.Those people were in the presence of a world-class mind, and all they wanted to talk about was their own nonsense. Can you see the irony in that statement?How about now?How about now?I'll wait.Surprise.Oh, crap, is it our anniversary?No. Wait.No. No.All right, so what are we celebrating?Well, you know, Bernadette and Howard are pregnant again, and Amy and Sheldon are getting married.I didn't want you to feel left out.Ah. Left out?Well, Bernadette has to grow a baby inside of her,and Amy has to marry one.My life is great.So do you not want the cake?Try and take it away, see what happens.Oh, crap, it is our anniversary.Happy anniversary!Amy.There's something I need to say to you.I'm listening.I've been thinking about the Avengers.I believe that.But I don't think that's something you needed to say to me.I realized that Iron Man is great.And also, that Captain America is great.And sometimes, Iron Man is in a Captain America movie, and he's not mad it's not an Iron Man movie.You know, he can fly in, give the audience a thrill,and then fly away.And that should've been me tonight.I should've been the delightful cameo in your movie. Thank you, Sheldon.Instead, I was like the Hulk, and I...Okay, please stop talking about the Avengers. Anyway.I'm proud of you.And I'm going to try to do a better jobof sharing the spotlight because we're a team.You know? Much like t-the Dodgers.If they had superpowers, and fought crime.And Thor was in them.Sheldon, I know this isn't easy,but you'll have a whole lifetime to practice.I-It could take that long, I'm really bad at it.You know, maybe, um,I should start right now, and go back to Pasadenaand let you have this experience to yourself.You just want to go back'cause that's where everybody makes a fuss over you. You know, your colleagues are right, you are brilliant. You know, your colleagues are right, you are brilliant.Hello.Hey.Amy, welcome back.Oh, l-let me see the ring.Ooh, nice.H-Hey, her eyes are up there.I-Is that the woman who kissed Sheldon?- Uh... Could be. - Hard to say. Tell us about Princeton. Excuse me for a minute.Not-- well, we'll catch up later.This is going to be the biggest smackdownsince my Aunt Noopur showed up at the family reunion wearing the same sari as my cousin Sruti.Dr. Nowitzki?Dr. Fowler. Um, hello.Thank you. Thank you so much.。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory. 《生活大爆炸》前情提要Hello. 您好I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz. 我来找霍华德·沃罗威茨May I ask what this is about? 我能问一下你找他有什么事吗No, you may not. 不能问Very well. 是的官爷Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you? 威廉姆斯上校有什么需要我效劳的吗Okay, sure, I can meet with you on Thursday. 当然周四见面没问题Caltech is fine. 约加州理工学院也没问题Yeah, and may I ask what this is about? 好我能问问是什么事吗I may not? 不能啊That's what he said to me. 他也是这么对我说的That's what he said to me. 时至今日Look at this. 瞧瞧Elon Musk has a theory that we're all just characters 埃隆·马斯克有个理论我们每个人in some advanced civilization's video game. 都只是某高等文明的电玩游戏中的角色So some alien kid spent his money 所以有某个外星小孩花钱on the asthma-and-glasses upgrade for me? 来帮我升了气喘加近视眼的特性吗Well, he doesn't say it's a good game. 他没说是个好游戏啊- All right, we got a problem. - What's up? -咱们有麻烦了 -怎么了The Air Force contacted me about our quantum gyroscope. 空军对我们的量子陀螺仪有兴趣- They want to have a meeting. - Really? -他们想见面谈谈 -真的吗Yeah. This military guy showed up at Howard's door. 对啊有个军队的人来到霍华德家找他He was terrifying. 他可吓人了Oh, what did he say? 他说什么了He gave me his business card 他给了我他的名片and asked me to please pass it along to Howard. 然后请我把名片转交给霍华德That doesn't sound terrifying. 这听起来不吓人啊To a white guy born here, no. 土生土长的美国白人当然不觉得If you are a brown guy whose name has a lot of syllables in it -- 但如果你是棕色皮肤名字带很多音节的话terrifying. 胆都吓破了好吗You realize if the military declares our research classified,你知道如果军方宣称我们的研究属于机密they can take the whole thing away from us. 他们可以直接把整个研究拿走吧And if that happens, 如果真发生这种事we'll never be able to sell it commercially. 我们就永远不能卖做商用了There goes our big payday. 就跟这一大笔钱说再见了I was counting on that money-- 我还指望拿到这笔钱呢I need to make as much as my wife 我的收入得跟我老婆持平so I don't have to try so hard in bed. 这样我在床上才不用这么拼死拼活You do that, too? 你也要这样吗Oh, yeah. How do you think I stay this thin? 当然不然你觉得我怎么保持这么瘦的Gentlemen, I think we are losing sight of the real issue. 先生们我们都忽视了真正的问题We are on the precipice of becoming faceless cogs 我们离成为军工业集合体中in the military-industrial complex. 无名无姓的小齿轮只有一步之遥了Isn't that exciting? 这难道不让人激动吗You're kidding, right? 你是在开玩笑吧Not at all. In Star Wars, when the stormtroopers 才不是呢像《星球大战》中那些风暴兵would march in perfect formation, 以完美的队形行军harassing civilians, didn't you ever think, 前往骚扰民众时你难道没有想过"Hey, that could be me"? "我也能成为这伟大军团的一员"吗Sheldon, we could be contributing 谢尔顿我们可能成为to a weapons system that oppresses mankind 未来几千年迫害人类的武器系统的for the next thousand years. 幕后元凶呢Okay, Howard's on board. What do you think, Leonard? 好的霍华德同意加入你呢莱纳德I'm worried about Howard. 我好担心霍华德啊Ever since that guy from the Air Force showed up, 打从军队的人来家里找他后he's been a nervous wreck. 他就被吓到尿不停All right, we work at a giant pharmaceutical company. 我们在一个大型制药公司上班Get him some anti-anxiety meds. 给他搞几片抗忧郁药吃吃啊He won't take any pills that aren't chewable 他不愿意吃除了摩登原始人咀嚼维生素片and shaped like a Flintstone. 以外的任何药物You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious 每当莱纳德感到焦虑的时候I make him take a long walk. 我就让他散步久一点Does that help? 这招有效吗Well, for a while. Then he comes back. 有效时间就一会儿然后这烦人精就回来了- I don't believe this. - What's wrong? -真是不敢相信 -怎么了This guy from the office just congratulated me on being pregnant.有个男同事发消息来恭喜我怀孕了You did already know, right? 你本来知道自己怀了孕的对吧No one at the office did. 但是同事都不知道啊- Did you tell anyone? - No. -你有告诉任何人吗 -没有You told me not to. 你不让我跟别人说I bet it was Barbara Chen in retrovirus. 肯定是搞逆转录病毒的芭芭拉·陈传出去的She might have heard me throwing up one morning. 她貌似某天早上有听到我在孕吐Every since she got the hearing aid, she thinks she's so great. 自从她装助听器后她就觉得自己可牛逼了Why don't you want anyone to know? 你为什么不想别人知道呢'Cause I'm up for a major immunotherapy study, 因为我有机会做一个免疫疗法研究的大项目and if they find out I'm pregnant 如果他们发现我怀孕了they might give it to someone else. 可能就会把机会给别人了Would they really do that? 他们真的会这样吗I know they would-- they did it to Barbara Chen last year 肯定会啊去年芭芭拉就是这么被换掉when I told everyone she was pregnant. 因为我爆料说她怀孕了Wait till I Snapchat that my friends might be working 我要发条朋友圈说我的好朋友们on a top secret government project. 为政府的机密项目做事Are you crazy? 你是不是疯了You can't put that on Snapchat. 你怎么能把这事写到朋友圈Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman. 好吧那我写到过时几百万年的脸书上吧You know, maybe before our meeting we should talk to a lawyer. 或许应该在会面前找个律师谈谈That's not a bad idea. 这主意不差Well, you must have someone in your family that's a lawyer. 你家族里肯定有人是律师吧Why? Because I'm Jewish? 为啥就因为我是犹太人吗That's like me saying, "Hey, you're Indian. 这就跟我说 "你是印度人Doesn't your cousin work in a call center?" 你肯定有亲戚在电话客服中心工作吧"My cousin does work in a call center. 我还真有亲戚在电话客服中心工作And my cousin's a lawyer. 我也真有亲戚是律师We don't need Howard's cousin, no. 我们不需要霍华德的亲戚帮忙We have me. 咱们有我啊You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a know-it-all. 谢尔顿你不是律师你只是爱耍聪明I am not a know-it-all. 我才不是耍聪明I'm a person who knows lots of things 我只是个上知天文下知地理and likes to correct other people when they're wrong. 还喜欢在别人犯错时热心纠正他们的人That's the definition of being a know-it-all. 这就是所谓爱耍聪明的人啊Or in German, a Besserwisser. 或是德文里的"砖家"How did you think you were gonna hide your pregnancy?你怎么能觉得你能瞒住你怀孕的事实I had a plan-- I kept leaving Dove Bar wrappers around 我有整套计划我一直有四处留下巧克力棒包装to explain any weight gain. 来解释我为什么发福了Where did you get empty Dove Bar wrappers? 那你是上哪去弄的空巧克力棒包装纸From all the Dove Bars I ate! I'm pregnant! 当然是我吃完故意留的包装啊老娘怀孕了Try to keep up! 用点脑想想好吗I'm sorry. I-I have to go find out if my boss knows. 抱歉我得去看看我老板发现没Well, whatever happens, we're here for you. 无论如何我们都会支持你Thanks. You guys are the best. 谢谢你们最好了Yeah, drive safe. We love you. And give us a call... 开车小心我们爱你到了打电话... Oh, my God, it was me, it was me! 要死了是我是我传的I'm the one who blabbed she was pregnant! 是我大嘴巴告诉别人她怀孕的- What?! - I didn't mean to. -什么 -我不是故意的It just slipped out in front of her assistant one day. 就有天不小心跟她的助手说溜嘴了I... I forgot my coat. 忘了拿外套Oh! Here's your coat, honey. 来亲爱的外套拿去That's such a cute jacket. 这外套太萌了God, I feel so bad-- I just lied to her. 天啊我好内疚我又骗了她Oh, but you did it so well. 但你演技入木三分That's amazing! 真是太厉害了It's like watching a sculptor, 感觉像在看一个雕塑大师but your clay was lies. 但你用的材料是谎言Is that really what's important right now? 现在的重点难道该是挖苦我吗I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain 我是说认真的你得让我扫描你大脑when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up. 看看你撒谎时哪些区域会亮起That's super helpful, Amy. 你这席话我受益良多Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that. 谢谢你全家啊真想立刻让你扫描I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here. 我从这里就能看到一团臭三八细胞亮起Give me a second to call my cousin. 等我一会我打给我律师亲戚I don't see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale 我想不出远在佛州劳德代尔堡的税务律师could be helpful regarding intellectual property. 怎么能对知识财产权方面提出有用建议First of all, he's in Boca Raton, 首先他是在佛州的博卡拉顿which is better than Fort Lauderdale. 那里比劳德代尔堡上档次多了But more importantly, 更重要的是he lasted two days on Jeopardy, 他上益智游戏节目撑了两天没被淘汰so he's clearly a smart guy. 很明显他就是个聪明人Hello. 你好Hey, Marty. Thanks for talking to us. 马蒂谢谢你愿意跟我们聊啊Hey, no problem. 小事一桩Thanks for going to outer space so no matter what I do 真是"感谢"你上了太空这下无论我干啥my mom will be disappointed in me. 我妈都会对我感到失望Well, I married a little Catholic girl, so we're even. 但我没娶信犹太教的老婆也算扯平了Anyway, this is Leonard and Sheldon. 这位是莱纳德这位是谢尔顿The three of us came up with the guidance system. 我们三个一起想出了这个导向系统- Hi. - Hello. -你好 -你好And this is my friend, Raj. 而这位是我的朋友拉杰Oh, I'm not on the patent. I'm just here 专利跟我无关我在这里because there's a bumblebee in my office. 是因为我办公室里有只大黄蜂I saw it. It's big. 我有看到真的很大只Anyway, like I said in the e-mail, 总之呢如同我电邮里所说this meeting's on Thursday. 见面定在这周四Do you have any advice for us? 你有什么建议可以给我们吗Well, I don't know much about patent law. 我对专利法了解不多But, uh, my advice is: 但我的建议是hear them out, offer as little information as possible, 听听他们怎么说有关信息尽量少说and whatever you do, don't sign anything. 无论如何绝对别签任何东西"Don't sign anything"? That's your advice? "别签任何东西" 这就是你的建议吗Okay, so, uh, if during this meeting, 好吧所以如果在会面中one of us were to, say, complete an oil painting, 我们其中一个人画了一幅油画之类的you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned? 你是在建议我们不要在上面签上名吗That's not what I meant. 我不是这个意思That's what you said. 你话就是这么说的That's not what I meant. 但我不是这个意思This must be how you practice law in Boca Raton, 你就在博卡拉顿这么当律师的吗by saying things you don't mean 说着词不达意and meaning things you don't say. 言不由衷的话Howard, why is he yelling at me? 霍华德他为啥要对我嚷嚷All right, you were on Jeopardy. 好吧你上过益智节目Allow me to Alex Trebek 让我学学主持人this and put it in the form of a question: 并把这件事用节目上的问题形式表达Who has been a complete waste of our time? 在座是哪个垃圾在浪费我们的时间呢Marty, let me call you back. 马蒂晚点打给你Someday, when I'm up on murder charges, 某天我因为谋杀"某人"被控诉时you'll be hearing from me. 我会打给你You don't need him. I'll represent you. 不用找他我来当你律师- Hi. - Hey. What brings you by? -我来啦 -你怎么来了Oh, had to go to a sales seminar on our new sleeping pill.去参加我们新款安眠药的销售研讨会了- Oh. How was it? - Great. -研讨会如何 -很棒啊- Fell asleep? - In, like, two minutes. Yeah. -睡着了吗 -开场两分钟就睡着了吧So, how is everything going around here? 一切情况还好吗Are you still upset about people finding out you're pregnant?还在为大家发现你怀孕这事不开心吗I'm furious. 我真要气炸了Sure, sure. 当然肯定的Uh, did you ever figure out who told? 你查清楚是谁说出去的吗No. I confronted Barbara Chen, but she claimed 没我去找芭芭拉·陈对质了但她说she didn't know what I was talking about. 她完全不知道我在说什么Well, I guess it's just gonna remain a mystery, 看来这事只能是未知的谜团了you know, like whatever happened in that seminar 就像研讨会把灯调暗后发生的事after they dimmed the lights. 对我也是未知的谜团It had to be Barbara. 绝对是芭芭拉I've been trying to figure out a way to get back at her. 我刚就一直在想办法报复她Do you think using her work computer to Google 你觉得用她工作用的电脑上网搜"How to be a prostitute" is over the line? "怎么下海当鸡"会太过分吗Uh, you know, when I was in high school, 其实呢在我高中的时候there was this girl who was talking about me behind my back, 有个姑娘在我背后说我坏话so me and all my friends, 所以我跟我朋友们we cornered her in the bathroom and forgave her. 把她围在厕所的角落然后原谅了她What kind of revenge is that? 这算哪门子的报仇啊This woman screwed with my job. She's got to pay. 这臭娘们破坏我工作我得整死她Okay, all right, honey, you know what? 好吧亲爱的其实呢There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday, 我有一件昨天没胆跟你说的事a-and now... I'm just balls-out terrified to tell you, but... 而现在我还是怕得要死不敢告诉你其实...the truth is it... 真相是...wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me. 大嘴巴的不是芭芭拉是我I'm the reason everyone knows. 是我让大家都知道的Why did you do that? 你为什么要这么做Well, it was an accident. I am so sorry I lied. 不小心说漏嘴嘛很抱歉我撒谎了Get out. 出去Oh, you know, I also lied about the girl in the bathroom. 对了厕所女同学的事我也撒谎了Yeah, we actually dumped her retainer in the toilet 是的我们其实把她的牙套保持器扔进了马桶and put it back in her mouth. 然后又塞回她的嘴里I don't understand why I can't talk at this meeting. 我不懂为什么会面时我不能说话'Cause when you talk, it enrages people. 因为你一开口就会激怒别人Okay. 好吧Quick question. 快问快答Am I allowed to exchange pleasantries 我能跟这位上校upon meeting this colonel? 在会上寒暄一下吗Yes. 准了Am I allowed to inform him 那我能告诉他that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military? 桑德斯上校并不是真正军队出身的吗that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military? 肯德基创始人上校称号是肯塔基州给他的荣誉称号I'm getting enraged. 你正在激怒我Fine. 好吧Can I use text-to-speech software? 我能用文字转语音软件吗- No! - Don't speak. -不行 -就不要说话Aw, nuts. 啊哇靠Gentlemen! 男士们I'm Colonel Williams. 我是威廉姆斯上校Thank you for meeting with me. 感谢抽空与我见面- Hi. - Hello. -你好 -你好So, which one of you is the brains behind all this? 你们中的哪一位是这个项目的主要设计者It's a group effort, 这是大家共同努力的结果but I guess if we had to pick a main brain, it would be me. 但如果非得选一个主力那应该是我吧And because of the quantum vortices, 因为量子涡旋this can run perpetually? 这玩意就具有永动性吗Exactly. 完全正确Yeah, you have a good grasp of the physics. 看来你很懂物理嘛- Well, I'm a scientist by training. - Really? -我是被培训出来的科学家 -是吗You're a physicist? 你是物理学家吗Better. I'm an engineer. 比那强我是工程师Where did you go to school? 你是哪里毕业的MIT. 麻省理工Oh. Well, hey, me, too. 真巧我也是I should have known. 我早该知道Behind every great invention is an MIT mind.每一项伟大的发明背后都有我们校友的智慧结晶I'll cut to the chase. 我就不兜圈子了The Air Force believes there's an application for this technology,美国空军想将这项技术投入到实际应用中and we're interested in funding your research. 我们有兴趣投资你们的研究Well, thanks, but you should know 多谢赏识但你要知道we're a little concerned about this being used in weapons.我们有点担心这项技术会被用到武器上Oh, well, let me put your mind at ease. 这样啊让我来放宽你心What we use it for is none of your business. 我们拿来干什么关你们屁事I don't know how I feel about this. 我不知道该对此作何感想Look, guys, it's just a guidance system. 伙计们这只是一个导向系统It's not like you're handing us 别想得好像你们交给我们的是the Death Star from Star Trek. 《星际迷航》的终极武器死星All you need to worry about is, 你们唯一需要顾虑的是right now, it's this big, 现在它这么大and we need it to be... this big. 我们需要它变得...这么点大That's a lot less big. 那要大大减小很多啊Yes, it's... this much less big. 没错减小的程度有这么大I'm not even sure that's possible. 我都不确定可不可行Well, I ran it by some colleagues at MIT, 我问过几个麻省理工的同事and they thought they could get it done in four months. 他们认为四个月就能搞定- Four months? - Yeah, we'll do it in two! -四个月 -那我们两个月就能搞定Hi. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 你好我是谢尔顿·库珀博士I'm the actual brains behind this project. 我才是这个项目的主力设计者Also, engineers aren't real scientists, 还有工程师不是真正的科学家MIT's a trade school, 麻省理工是一所职业学院and the Death Star is from Star Wars, not Star Trek! 还有还有死星来自《星球大战》不是《星际迷航》But otherwise, 撇开那些不说thank you for your service. 感谢为国服役Howard told me you were working late, so I brought dinner. 霍华德跟我说你要加班所以我带了吃的来Oh, thanks. You know, I just wanted to get some work done 谢谢我只是想安静地工作without people congratulating me about the baby every five minutes.不用每五分钟就有人跑来恭喜我怀孕了I spent my day alone in the lab 我今天自己在实验室waiting for a rat to die of anthrax. 陪一只炭疽感染的老鼠等死Did you come here to bring me dinner or to gloat? 你是来给我送吃的还是来幸灾乐祸Well, I came to see how you were feeling, 我是来看看你心情好点没but I'm guessing still angry? 但我猜还在生气呢I'm sorry. 抱歉My boss wants to meet with me, and I'm stressing. 我老板要见我我现在压力山大You really think they're gonna start treating you differently?你真的认为他们会开始区别对待你吗Are you kidding? 开什么玩笑I've always been treated differently! 我向来都被人区别对待Look at me! Listen to me! 瞧我小体型听我的小尖嗓I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, 你看见我脑子里永远不会首先想到"That's a scientist." "那是一位科学家"It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is." 你只会想"希望她不要跟妈妈走丢"I am really regretting that I got you a Happy Meal. 我好后悔给你买了欢乐儿童餐I've worked so hard to get where I am, 我那么努力工作才坐上这个位置and I don't want to get sent back to square one 我不想因为怀孕because I'm pregnant. 就被打回原点I understand how you feel. 我懂你的感受Thank you. 谢谢I wish there were some way I could make it better. 真希望我能做些什么让你好过点Well, you brought me French fries. That's a start. 你给我买了薯条这是好的第一步Uh, actually, I got you apple slices 'cause you're pregnant. 其实我给你买了切片苹果因为你怀孕了嘛Apple slices? 切片苹果What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?! 哪个傻逼会去麦当劳买水果啊I'll be right back. 小的立马重新买And a chocolate shake! 老娘还要巧克力奶昔What are you doing? 你做什么呢Oh, Leonard's mad at me, so I'm making him lemon bars. 莱纳德生我气了我给他做柠檬方块呢Does he even like lemon bars? 他爱吃柠檬方块吗Not really. 不爱吃But I'm mad at him, too, so lemon bars it is. 但我也在生他的气所以就柠檬方块吧Something happen at the meeting? 会面时发生什么事了吗They made me promise I wouldn't talk. 他们逼我保证不说话- And you talked? - Well, now, see? -结果你说话了 -你看吧You knew what was gonna happen. 你都知道会发生什么事了Why didn't they? 他们怎么就不知道呢Anyway, now we're committed to completing this project总之现在我们承诺了要在极短的时间内in a ridiculously short time frame, 完成这个项目and everyone's upset with me. 大家都生我气了Well, if it makes you feel any better, 也许这能让你好过点Bernadette's mad at me, too. 伯纳黛特也在生我的气If it makes you feel any better, 也许这能让你好过点a parasitoid wasp known as Oobius depressus 有一种类型的寄生蜂has been rediscovered after 101 years of presumed extinction.在被认定灭绝101年后重新被发现踪迹了Why would that make me feel better? 这怎么让我好过了Why would your Bernadette thing make me feel better?那你跟伯纳黛特的事又怎么会让我好过At least mine was educational. 至少我的还有教育意义Okay. Never mind. 好吧当我没说Look, I'm sorry. 对不起Tell me why Bernadette is upset with you. 告诉我伯纳黛特为什么生你的气了Well, I told people at work that she's pregnant. 我跟公司的人说了她怀孕的事She wasn't ready for them to know. 但她没准备让他们知道Why would you do that? 你为什么要这么做Well, it just slipped out. I feel terrible. 我就是说溜嘴了我也很懊悔See, that's exactly what happened to me, 跟我简直一模一样except that I said it on purpose, and I have no regrets. 除了我是故意说的而且并不后悔Is it even possible to get this done in two months? 两个月内完成有可能吗Well, maybe. I don't know. 也许吧不知道We'll have to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. 我们得每周不歇地一天工作12小时Which means I won't be able to make Penny breakfast every day,也就是说我不能再每天给佩妮做早餐了and she'll realize my brioche French toast 她会意识我做的法式吐司奶油卷was the only thing keeping her in the marriage. 是唯一让她不跟我离婚的原因I love your French toast. 我也爱吃你做的法式吐司Oh, thanks, man. 谢了兄弟So, why did you guys even agree to the deadline? 那你们为什么同意那个截止日期We didn't. Sheldon did. 我们没同意谢尔顿干的And you just let him? 你就让他答应了Well, the colonel said it was for the good of the country, 上校还说这是苟利国家的事and the funding is substantial. 我们就因资金而趋之了No, but mostly, there was an awkward pause, 没有主要当时有一阵尴尬的沉默and I broke it by saying, "Okay." 于是为了打破尴尬局面我就说了"好"So I guess I won't be seeing you guys for a while. 看来我要见不到你们一阵子了Oh, looks like it. Wow. 是这样的You're going off to work with the military, leaving me behind. 你们去军方工作独留我一人Now I know how all those army wives feel. 我突然理解军嫂的生活了Would you stop? 你够了啊We're just gonna be on the other side of campus. 我们就是在大学另一端而已And right here. 也在这里You are a deeply silly man. 你就是一傻姑娘He is so afraid of his feelings. 他怎么如此不敢直面内心呢Got a minute? 有空吗Yeah, come on in. 有啊进来I just wanted to apologize. 我想道歉I know what you did was an accident. 我知道你是不小心说出去的Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry I lied about it. 谢谢你对不起我跟你撒谎了For what it's worth, you're a great liar. 不过你撒谎挺在行的Oh, that's what Amy said. 艾米也这么夸我的So what's going on with the research project? 研究项目怎么样了Are they gonna let you run it? 他们还会让你负责吗Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, 老板说他还没定下来so I gently reminded him 于是我温柔地提醒了他that he's an old rich white guy, 他是个有钱白人老头and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady 而我是个甜美无害的小孕妇who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury. 在陪审团面前演落泪戏码没在怕的You threatened to sue? 你威胁要告他Hey, I learned a long time ago, when you're four feet eleven 我多年前就已学会当你只有一米五and eye level with every guy's crotch, 而平视只能看到每个男人裆部时that's where you punch. 你就往那里捶就对了That's funny. 有点意思I learned something totally different. 我学到的不是捶是...Do you know what? 其实呢It's just a research project. 不过是个研究项目The most important job in the world 世上最重要的工作is gonna be raising this child. 应该是抚养这个孩子It's all I need to give my life meaning. 那才赋予我生命的意义Oh, that's so beautiful. 说得太好了You believe me? Oh, good. 你信了那就好11 more chumps like you, 再多11个像你这样的笨蛋I'll have the jury eating out of my hand. 整团陪审团就随老娘摆布了I never realized this building was classified. 我之前都不知道这栋楼是机密建筑Maybe that's because it's classified. 也许正是因为它是机密Wish we weren't so far from my parking space. 希望不会离我们的车位太远The way you put away those lemon bars, 就你吃柠檬方块的那个熊样perhaps that's a good thing. 远点是好事I'd like to reinstate the you-not-talking rule. 我希望恢复"你不许说话"规则Why? It clearly doesn't work. 为什么明显没用I guess this is it. 应该就是这了不得吸烟危险不得吸烟未授权者不得进入Is that a retinal scanner? 那是视网膜扫描仪吗Let's find out. 我们试试Howard Wolowitz-- access granted. 霍华德·沃罗威茨准许入内- No way! - Impressive! -不是吧 -太棒了Oh, my turn! My turn! 该我了该我了Leonard Hofstadter-- access granted. 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔特准许入内I didn't even have to take my glasses off! 我都不需要把眼睛摘下来呢Access denied. 拒绝入内It knows! 它知道呢Oh, oh, oh, oh, guys, hold me upside down! 你们大头朝下抱着我。

基本信息中文名: 生活大爆炸[1]第三季美剧《生活大爆炸第三季》海报酷优网提供英文名称: The Big Bang Theory Season3版本: [双语字幕][][RMVB+HR-HDTV]电视台: 美国CBS电视台首播时间: 2009年演员: Johnny Galecki ... Leonard Hofstadter (18 episodes, 2007-2008)Jim Parsons ... Sheldon Cooper (18 episodes, 2007-2008)Kaley Cuoco ... Penny (18 episodes,2007-2008)Simon Helberg ... Howard Wolowitz (18 episodes, 2007-2008)Kunal Nayyar ... Rajnesh Koothrappali / ... (18 episodes, 2007-2008)地区: 美国语言: 英语剧情介绍（译自CBS官方新闻发布稿）这是一部以"科学天才" 为背景的情景喜剧，这倒非常罕见。

主人公Leonard (Johnny Galecki,生活大爆炸第三季剧照(5张) "Roseanne") 和Sheldon (Jim Parsons "Judging Amy")是一对好朋友，他们的智商绝对高人一等，因为他们对量子物理学理论可以倒背如流，无论你问他们什么问题，都难不倒他们。

但是说到日常生活，这两个不修边幅的男孩就彻底没了脾气－－生活中柴米油盐这些看似简单的事情，却让他们有迷失在太空里一样的感觉，他们所掌握的那些科学原理在这里根本没有用武之地。

直到有一天……隔壁搬来一位美貌性感的女孩Penny (Kaley Cuoco, "8 SimpleRules...")，顿时吸引了两人的目光。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...Want to grab some lunch?You know what? I don't think so.Oh, let me guess, you're not eatingbecause the mean girls circled your chubby bits in marker? No. That, that right there.That's the reason. You're always making fun of me.Those are just jokes.It's my way of saying that we're friends,and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few.15 years of constant ridicule.I-I think our relationship has become toxic.What are you saying?I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other. Look, I...I can see you're upset, but...I'm gonna need some ground rules.While we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?Get out!Get out!Oh, Stuart, two questions:Do you have the new Aquaman,and do you mind if I use your back room to smoke some meat? Well, since it's you asking,I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.Why are you smoking meat?And why are you reading Aquaman?I am trying to make Amy a historically accurateLittle House on the Prairie dinner for her birthday, and... 美国大西部拓荒风格儿童小说I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool. Wow, well, that's actually really sweet.The dinner thing. The Aquaman thing's dumb.直到新的电影中找了型男演出才翻身Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, andI'm lazy.Hey, guys.- Hello. - Hey.Howard.Raj.Excuse me.Really? Is this still happening?I'm willing to make up, but someone's being a baby.Ooh! I do love a riddle. Oh, let me see.See, my first guess would be Halley,but that'd be strange to accuse her of being a baby'cause she is a baby. Um...I suppose it could be Stuart;his head does have a certain milky scent. Although...I-It's me, Sheldon. He-He's calling me a baby.No, I don't know. I saw Leonard put his keys in his mouth today. You're a grown man; act like it.Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book. Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.Come on, you guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting.I have an extra ticketto the opening of The Last Jedi tonight.It was gonna be Howard's, but you can have it.You two had a good run.Uh, who wants to go see Last Jedi again tonight?- Mm, I'm in. - Me, too.It'll be nice to see the parts I missed while I was blinking.Hey, guys, there's a change of plans.We are having a party for Halley's birthday after all.Turns out Bernadette and "Anyone who's not a heartless monster" thinks that's the right thing to do.I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake.Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?I don't know.I'll risk it.But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why. - Here you go. - Here you go.See you two there.Are you kidding me?You're not gonna invite me to Halley's birthday?I'm her godfather; that means something.Or-- hear me out on this-- it doesn't.Okay, that's enough.This fight either has to end or get way more entertaining.Don't worry about it 'cause I'm done putting up with him!I know you have a lot on your mind,but when do you think we'll have an answer on those cake flowers? What you reading?Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.If there's a picture of his wife and his kidsand his dogs and his horses all in matching pajamas,I beg you to burn it.Aw, the people's pajamas have little horses on them,and the horses' have little people.It's just his chance to brag about how great his life is.Oh, come on, it's nice.You know that nonprofit he works with?They built a hospital in Rwanda.Look at me. I built a hospital in Rwanda.That is a good point. I hadn't thought of it that way.- Hello. - Hey.So this is for Amy's birthday. Can I leave it here?Sure. What is it?A butter churn.Aw, that's what I got her.It's for her surprise frontier birthday dinner.I am making hardtack, boiled salt pork,and because it's a special day, a chewable gob of tree sap.Is that good?Uh, compared to other foods, no.Compared to other parts of a tree?And then after dinner, we will have birthday coitus.Do you think that will also be historically accurate?I assume like the rest of frontier life,it'll be exhausting and short.You're exhausting and short.Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Halley's party, right?You bet.Plus, I live there and I was invited,so it's already better than my tenth birthday party.Great. Can you bring a few things?Sure. What do you need?Balloons, streamers,ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter,and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and say they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to. Where do you and Halley go every week?The important thing is we're together,and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes.Don't stress about this party.She's one; she's not gonna remember.The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked. It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette.She's feeling guiltyabout all the stuff she's missing with Halley.All right.Uncle Stuart's got your back.Ain't no party like a Stuart partybecause Stuart's never invited to parties.Did the electricity go out?I don't know what you mean by "electricity," Ma'am.I am just a farmer boy living in a little house on the prairie. I'm glad you're happy.I wanted to do something special for your birthday.Oh, you did, you did! It's perfect!You do know that my birthday's tomorrow, right?This is just step one of your birthday weekend.Now, would you care to join mefor an authentic frontier dinnermade entirely from scratch?I can't believe you did this. It's amazing!Oh, it's not a big deal.Just to be clear, it was a big deal.I was being modest. You got that, right?Loud and clear.Well, I hope you're hungry.Oh, I'm starving.Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period.If you also have malariaand a deep distrust of Native Americans,we're really cooking with a woodstove.Is that butter?Yes. But don't blow it all on one biscuit.Took me nine hours to make that.I think I got churner's elbow.I know we only have coitus on my birthday,but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.Oh, well, you'll be glad you did.Everyone knows the best foreplayis rigid adherence to a strict schedule.Hey. What are you doing?Oh, I've decided to write my own Christmas letter.So I'm gonna make a list of all the cool things we did this year. Oh, fun. Can I help?Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing we did this year? Uh, well, both of our jobs are going great.Sure. I mean, my Air Force project got taken away,and you're not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals.I'll just write down "Still employed."Oh, we had our second anniversary.Uh, yeah, but we did kind of forget about it,so maybe just write "Still married."Great. Okay.Okay, that's a start.What else?You know, maybe this is enough.Let's look at our pictures; that-that'll jog our memories. What is that a picture of?Oh, uh, that's a mole on my back.I wanted to make sure it wasn't growing.How'd you get a picture of your own back?Sheldon took it. We're kind of mole buddies.Hey, that's a cute picture.Isn't that the day we almost went to the beach? Memorial Day?No, that was the day we almost went to the mountains. That's the great thing about California;you can almost go to the mountainsand almost go to the beach in the same day.Yeah.Look, I'm sorry about not inviting youto Halley's birthday. That wasn't cool.And of course we would love to have you. Here. Thank you.I'd really like to be there.Great, 'cause it's tomorrow, and I need you to plan it. What?Stuart was gonna help,but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy,and he jumped on it.So-so-so you're just apologizingbecause you need something?Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it. Well, that's very insulting.Right again. Are you gonna help me or not?No, I will not help you.But I will help Halley.She's my goddaughter, and I love her.And I have a lot of party favorsleft over from Cinnamon's birthday, so...I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them. Sh-She's a human being, not an animal.But that actually would be a hit.Can I get you anything else?No, thanks. I think I'm good.You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat.Although, if we don't eat it,I suppose we could turn it into soap.That might taste better.I think I'm just gonna go over here and sit on the couch. Oh, great.Then we will move on to stage two:the pitching of woo.Ooh.Should I read you some bawdy 19th century limericks? Okay.Oh, here."There once was a priest from Terre Hautewho purchased a sheep and a goat..."Hold on a second.Is it getting hot in here?Well, I didn't even get to the dirty part yet.No, I-I'm serious.Do you think there was something wrong with that food? Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so.My stomach's feeling a little weird.Yeah. Uh, mine, too.I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps of arousal.No. Th-This doesn't feel right.Hey, hey, save that sexy talk for the bedroom.You know, if you'll excuse me,I am just going to go freshen up.Sheldon?I'll be out in a minute.I don't have a minute!I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight.Uh, if I had more time, I could have gotten the Blue Man Group. 表演时会浑身涂成蓝色One of them goes to my dry cleaner.Who, by the way, hates him.You really saved the day.Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley.And I'm sure she'd appreciate it,if she knew what's going on or who you are. Morning.Happy birthday.Yeah, sure.Did you sleep at all?No. You?I passed out on the toilet once.I don't know if that counts.Feel any better?I feel terrible.Well...should we make love now?How can you even think about sex?Hey, I'm a man; I have annual needs just like anyone. And besides, it's our birthday tradition.You think you can do itwhile I lie perfectly still and you don't touch me?I can try.Want to do it again?Morning.Morning."Kept Fern alive"? Who's Fern?No, the fern. The one in the bathroom.We're really calling that brown thing alive? Okay.So, how long have you been working on this?Oh, couple hours.I took a break to try to beat my high score on Mario Kart. Well, did you do it?Do you see it on the board?Okay, this is silly. Our lives are great.I think so, too.So then why is this bugging you so much?I guess it feels like everyone's moving forwardand we're stuck.What do you mean?Well, we've been married two years.Should we think about what's next?Like buying a house or having a baby?Look, I want to do all those things someday,but there's a bunch of stuff I want to do first.Okay, like what?I don't know, stay thin and have money.No, no, I-I'm serious.If there's things we want to do, let's start doing them. Okay. Well, we've never been on a big trip together.I would love that.Okay, there's something for your letter: "Considered going on a trip."It's just a day trip,but we could take the ferry out to Catalina.Great, let's do it.Amy's in the bathroom and I need to...!It's like I can hear the ocean already.Okay. Thanks for letting me know.Hey, what's going on?Bernadette's sister's kids are sick and they're not coming. But they're the whole reason the cupcakes are vegan!- How's the party coming? - Good!Great! Our friends should be here any second!Those are the only other people you invited?What about the kids from the Daddy and Me class? Oh, grow up.- Uh-oh. - What?I left the food out.You afraid it's gonna go good?How are you feeling?Ugh. My stomach aches, I got the chills,my mouth tastes weird,it hurts to swallow,and I've got a little double vision.Yeah.I'm feeling better, too.Well, this party's a disaster.Don't blame the party!You know how many favors I had to call inwith my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?Is that Wonder Woman?Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff calledHappy Strong Swimsuit Lady.Then I take it back; it's a great party.Well, you can sit here and sulk if you want.I'm gonna go celebrate Halley's first birthday.Which I planned with no help from you.What are you doing?It's a bounce house! I'm gonna go bounce in it!You're supposed to take your shoes off before you go in there! You know what?I'm stressed about my daughter's birthday party.I don't need your attitude.Well, I worked really hard on this,and you haven't even said thank you.Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you.Thank you for blaming mefor everything that's wrong in your life!Thank you for walking out on our friendship!You are welcome!And thank you for mocking me for all of these years!Thank you for making it so easy!Why are you being such a jerk?Because you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings! Well, you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings!I can't believe you shoved me!Well, I can't believe you shoved me!But it was kind of fun, wasn't it?!- It was! Do it again! - Gladly!Okay, now at the same time!Oh, oh, that was awesome!Yeah, okay, this time, knees, then feet.One, two, three.Again! Again!Hello.You made it.How you two feeling?Oh, a little better.Those books should have been calledLittle Outhouse on the Prairie.Halley's awake and ready for her party!Be right up!Ooh, I want to see the birthday girl.I'd love to see her.Walk slow, it takes a while to get this bra back on. You know...it's still your birthday.It is.And... we are both... feeling better.We are.And there's no one in that bounce house.No.Great.Let's go jump for a bit,and then find a bedroom to have coitus in.。