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幽默英语小故事欣赏.doc

幽默英语小故事欣赏.doc
幽默英语小故事欣赏.doc

幽默英语小故事欣赏

幽默英语小故事篇一

During the doctor s periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return. When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. Can you imagine, she said. Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!

医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴,为此,他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日,并要求她还他一个吻。医生走后,我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。你能想象吗,她说,付了他70元,我还得亲他!

幽默英语小故事篇二

After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attentionof any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar billand waved it above the crowd. In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed theporter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.

我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后,他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈,丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。先生,脚夫说道,很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。

幽默英语小故事篇三

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find hisapartment, he said, Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. Whenthe door open, push with your foot.

一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:你上到五楼,用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后,再用你的脚把门推开。

Why use my elbow and foot?

为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?

Well, gosh, was the reply, You re not coming empty-handed, are you?

天哪! 吝啬鬼回答,你总不会空着手来吧?

幽默英语小故事篇四

After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50.Inadvertently(非故意地) the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead: Horse, saddle and bridle for $50.Immediately someone responded to the ad, That s an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, What s wrong with your horse?Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed the erroneously(错误地) typed ad.

一个人衷爱的马死了,他打算在报上登则广告如下:50元卖马鞍和马缰绳。无意中报纸在广告语中加了个逗号,读起来成这样了,50元卖马,马鞍和马缰绳。马上就有人询问这则广告,这马的价格真是太便宜了,询问者说,马有什么毛病吗?哦,它是死的,安排这条误入的广告的人回答道。

两人简短的英语口语小对话

两人简短的英语口语小对话 英语口语对话 a: she has a certain aptitude for math. when she was a teenager, she was already taking college level math courses. b: i know! she really has made a lot of accomplishments in the field and her adeptness is amazing. a: i think she was born with the ability to solve math problems. i myself have toiled year in and year out just to achieve the minimum adequacy. b: well, her brilliance in the field of math is rare. you shouldn't compare yourself to her! a:她很有数学天赋,十几岁的时候就上大学级别的数学课了。 b:是呀!她在这个领域确实取得了很多成绩,她的数学才能真 是令人惊异。 a:我想她天生就擅长解数学题。我自己努力了多年才达到最起码的水准。 b:她那样的数学才华是很少见的,你不该拿自己跟她比! 英语口语小对话 a: margaret's flair for fashion design is a real talent. b: her technique and workmanship are exquisite. a: do you know what her qualifications are? did she receive a degree from a university?

小学英语口语练习_对话集锦

小学英语口语练习:对话 Hobby 业余爱好 A: Hi, Nancy. What are you doing now? 你好,南希,你在做什么呀? B: I'm talking with my friends on the Internet. 我在网上和朋友聊天呢。A: Do you like surfing the Internet? 你喜欢上网吗? B: Of course, I do. It's one of my hobbies. 当然,这是我的一个业余爱好。A: Besides Internet, what do you do in your spare time? 除了上网,你空闲时间还做些什么? B: Well, I like taking photos and listening to music. They are good ways to kill time. What about you? 我喜欢拍照和听音乐,它们是很好的消磨时间的方式。你呢? A: I like collecting stamps. I find it very interesting. What's more, I also enjoy running in the morning because it can help me keep fit. 我喜欢集邮,而且我觉得它非常有趣。此外,我还喜欢在早上跑步,因为它能让我保持健康。 B: Right. I like doing morning exercise too. I keep running for at least half an hour in the morning every day. 没错。我也喜欢在早上做运动。我每天早上都坚持至少跑半个小时。 A: Yeah. Having a healthy body is very important. Maybe next time we can play basketball together.

小学英语口语情景对话及测试题目

情景对话 一、询问姓名、年龄等 1.What‘s your name? What’s your English name? My name is … My English name is… 2.What’s your mother’s name? Her name is….. How long have you learned English? Six years. 3. What’s your father’s name? His name is… 4.What Grade/Class are you in? I’m in Grade Six/Class…. 5.What/Which school are you from? I’m from Shiyan Xiaoxue. 6.Where are you from? /Where do you come from? I’m from Pingyuan. I come from Pingyuan. 7.Are you from Wangmiao ?Yes, I am. / No, I’m not. 8.How are you? I’m fine, thank you. 9.How old are you ? I’m 12. 10. How old is your father/mother? He/She is 36. 11.How many people are there in your family? There are 3 Who are they? They are my father, my mother and I. 12.How many bananas are there in the picture? How many days are there in a week? How many hands do you have? 13.Do you often go to the zoo? No, I don’t. 14. What colour do you like? I like red/pink/green/black.

英语幽默句子

幽默的英语句子 1) Money is not everything. There…s Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡。 2) One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。 4)Love the neighbor. But don…t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。 5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个女人。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛。 7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。 8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。 9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。 10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。(老外也保守,要摸黑办事,哈哈) 11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。 12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. " 现在的梦想决定着你的将来",所以还是再睡一会吧。 13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。 14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " "努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明。 15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " "工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看着别人工作。 16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。 17)When two…s company, three…s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是! 18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。 19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多,知道的越多,知道的越多,忘记的越多,忘记的越多,知道的越少,为什么学来着? 1.国外有个节目采访lord of ring(指环王)里面那个小哈比人时,他讲了个冷笑话: Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name?(一只鹿,没有眼睛,应该叫什么?) A: I don?t know ,what is it?(我不知道,该叫什么?)

对话形式的英语小笑话-英语小笑话 非常短

对话形式的英语小笑话|英语小笑话非常短 在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。小编整理了对话形式的英语小笑话,欢迎阅读! 对话形式的英语小笑话篇一 He is really somebody! ” My uncle has 1000 men under him.” ”He is really somebody. What does he do?” ”A maintenance man in a cemetery. “ 他真是一个大人物! 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 他真是一个大人物。干什么的? 墓地守墓人。 对话形式的英语小笑话篇二 A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, “Attention,passengers. We have lost one o f our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result.”

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, “Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late.” At this point, one passenger became furious. “For Pete's sake,” he shouted, “If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!” 一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音:旅客们请注意,我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。 过了一会儿,旅客们又听到机长的声音:各位,你们猜怎么啦?我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了。 正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说:看在上帝的份上,如果我们再掉一个引擎,我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。 对话形式的英语小笑话篇三 A ne wspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out inthe Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?” 一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅? The winning repl y was: “The one nearest the exit.” 获奖的答案是:最接近门口的那一幅。 看了对话形式的英语小笑话的人还看了:

英语口语三人情景对话

英语口语 Jack: Good morning .sir .what can I do for you?琳达:早上好。先生。我能为你做什么呢? Robbie: Good morning .My name is Robbie Stewart. And this is Alex Pappas. 罗比:早上好。我的名字是罗比·斯图尔特。这是亚历克斯·帕帕斯。 Alex: Hi .Good morning. Yesterday we found dog named Gemma.亚历克斯:你好。早上好。昨天我们发现这只名叫Gemma的狗。 Robbie: We have thought many ways to find it is host, but we don't succeed ultimately. 罗比:我们认为许多方法来发现它的主人,但我们不能成功最终。 Jack: Oh, wait a while. You know I must make a record in terms of rule. 琳达:噢,等一会儿。你知道我必须做一个记录。 Robbie: No problem. 罗比:没问题。 Jack: OK .Your name will do Mr. Stewart. Then, please tell me your address? 琳达:好的。你的名字将会做什么,Stewart先生。那么,请告诉我你的地址吗? Robbie: 46 Linden Street, Riverdale. 罗比:林登街46,Riverdale。 Jack: Where did you find the dog? 琳达:你在什么地方找到这条狗的? Alex: Speak exactly , not we found her . It's she found us in Robbie `s house. 亚历克斯:讲到底,不是我们发现她。这是她发现我们在罗比是房子。 Jack: Have you tried calling the number on the collar? 琳达:你试着打领子上的号码吗? Robbie: Yes, but the number is no longer in service . So we only call for you. 罗比:是的,但是号码也不再服务。所以我们只有你的电话。 Jack: And there is no address on the dog tag? 琳达:并没有地址在狗身上的标签? Alex: There is no other information. 亚历克斯:没有其他信息。 Jack: No ID number. Without that, it is hard to find her host.

经典幽默英语故事(30个)-(1)

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小学三年级英语口语练习对话

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小学英语口语常用情景对话

小学英语口语常用情景 对话 公司内部档案编码:[OPPTR-OPPT28-OPPTL98-OPPNN08]

小学生口语----习惯 Habit Michaela: What time do you get up every day Tom : I get up at about eight o'clock. Michaela:What time do you have breakfast Tom : I usually eat breakfast at eight thirty. Michaela: What time do you leave your house Tom : Around nine o'clock. Michaela: When do you arrive at school Tom : I get to school at nine thirty. I'm always late! Michaela: What do you do after school Tom : Well,school finishes at four,so I go to the park with my friends and we play football. Michaela: What time do you have dinner Tom : Polly makes me dinner at six o'clock. After that I have a bath. Michaela: What time do you go to bed Tom : Usually at about eight o'clock.

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两人英语口语情景对话【实例】.doc

两人英语口语情景对话【实例】 【两人英语口语情景对话】 Aiste: Hello, Christophe. What are you doing this afternoon? 爱斯蒂:你好,克里斯托夫。你今天下午要做什么? Christophe: Hi, Aiste. I think I'm going to run this afternoon. 克里斯托夫:你好,爱斯蒂。我今天下午要去跑步。 Aiste: To run? But it's raining outside. 爱斯蒂:跑步?可是外面在下雨呢。 Christophe: I don't care. I love running in the rain, and I have to run because I am training fora marathon. 克里斯托夫:我不在意这个。我喜欢在雨里跑步,我一定得去跑步,因为我在为马拉松进行训练。 Aiste: A marathon! Isn't that like some 100 kilometers of running? 爱斯蒂:马拉松!是要跑100公里的那种吗? Christophe: Oh, no. A marathon is a race where you run 42 kilometers. It's a long distance, soyou need to train every day for it.

克里斯托夫:不是,马拉松长跑比赛的全程是42公里。距离很长,所以要每天都训练。 Aiste: So do you actually run 42 kilometers every day when training for it? 爱斯蒂:那你训练的话,是每天都跑42公里吗? Christophe: Oh, no. Actually, a good preparation for a marathon is about 12 weeks of running,and you never run for 42 kilometers in one training. You never do this because it's actually very,very bad for your body if you would do that, so you run a maximum, like 32 to 34 kilometers. 克里斯托夫:不是。马拉松比赛的充分准备是要进行为期12周的跑步训练,但是每次训练不能跑满42公里。因为这样做对身体有害,每次训练最多跑32至34公里。 Aiste: Every day? 爱斯蒂:每天吗? Christophe: Not every day of course. I think, right now, I run about 80 kilometers a week,but that's almost every day, 10, 15 kilometers that you have to run. 克里斯托夫:当然不是每天。现在,我每周跑80公里,相当于每天跑10或15公里。 Aiste: And how many marathons have you done already?

幽默英语小故事(中英文对照)

A Soldier's Brilliant Idea Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 英语幽默:士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招 由于生意方面的事,罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急,他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时,他喜欢靠窗坐,故而一登机,他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是,这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些,他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。 然而,等到了那儿,他看见座位上有则启事,是用钢笔写的:“为保持装载平衡,特预设该位置,谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过,他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品,于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。 又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上,他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时,一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法,成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

小学生英语情景对话

小学英语口语:情景对话 小学英语例句1 Is this your football? Yes it is. Thank you. May I use it? Please! Sure! No! it isn't. It is my hat. Here you are. Thank you very much. a: Robbie, is this your football? Yes it is. Thank you. Is this your hat, Boddy? Yes it is. thank you . b: Is this your nice cake? Yes it is. May I use it? Please! thank you. Is this your ink bottle? Yes it is. May I use it? Sure. c: Is this your hat, Mr White? No! it isn't. Is this your football? No! it isn't. d: Is this your hat? Yes it is. It is my hat. Here you are. Thank you very much! Is this your glass? No it isn't It is my glass. Here you are. Thank you very much! [资料来源:https://www.doczj.com/doc/4f16032403.html,/children/sessions.html剑桥少儿英语口语课免费旁听]

幼儿小学启蒙英语口语情景对话整理(可直接打印)

情景一 模板对话: Is this your football? Yes, it is. Thank you. May I use it? Please! Sure! No! it isn't. It is my hat. Here you are. Thank you very much. 对话一: Robbie, is this your football? Yes it is. Thank you. Is this your hat, Robby? Yes it is. thank you . 对话二: Is this your nice cake? Yes it is. May I use it? Please! thank you. Is this your ink bottle? Yes it is. May I use it? Sure. 对话三:

Is this your hat, Mr White? No! it isn't. Is this your football? No! it isn't. 对话四: Is this your hat? Yes it is. It is my hat. Here you are. Thank you very much! Is this your glass? No it isn't It is my glass. Here you are. Thank you very much! 情景二 模板对话: What's this? It's a cake. What's that? It's an orange. Are you hungry? Oh! nice. May I have some? Excuse me!

小学生英语口语对话

小学生英语口语对话

小学生英语口语对话公司内部档案编码:[OPPTR-OPPT28-OPPTL98-OPPNN08]

小学生英语口语练习经典对话 一、交际 1. Hello, …你好。 2. Hi, …喂,你好。 3. Good morning/ afternoon/evening. 早上/下午/晚上好。 4. How are you(this morning/afternoon/evening) 你今天好吗 5. Fine, thank you/ thanks. 我很好,谢谢。 6. Not bad, thank you. 不错,谢谢。 7. Welcome back to school. 欢迎回到学校来。 8. Welcome to our school. 欢迎到我们学校来。 9. Happy birthday! 生日快乐! 10. What’s your name, please 你的名字是什么 11. Your name, please 你叫什么名字 12. My name is…/ I’m…我的名字是…/ 我名叫… 13. This is Miss/ Mr/ Mrs…这位是…小姐/先生/女士。 14. This is my friend. 这是我的朋友。 15. Come and meet my friends. 过来见见我的朋友们。 16. How do you do 你好。 17. Nice to meet /see you. 很高兴认识/见到你。 18. Goodbye. 再见 19. Good night. 晚安。 20. How old is he 他多大了 21. Thank you./ Thanks. 谢谢。 22. You’re welcome. 不用谢。 23. That’s all right. 没关系。 24. I’m sorry. 对不起。 25. Sorry, I don’t know. 对不起,我不知道。 26. Excuse me. 对不起,打扰一下。 27. Come in, please. 请进。 28. Have some bananas, please. 请吃些香蕉。 29. It’s time for the cakes. 该吃些蛋糕了。 30. May I come in 我可以进来吗 32. May I have yours 我能吃你的吗 33. Can I have two cakes 我能吃两个蛋糕吗 34. No, you can’t. 不,你不能。 35. Can I have one,please 我能吃一个吗 36. Yes./All right. Here you are. 好的。给你。 37. Can I go with you 我能和你一起走吗 38. Sure. 好的。

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