英语幽默小对话
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关于搞笑的英文情景对话搞笑是这个时代很多年轻人的口头禅,他们不再像老一代的人那样说可笑、好笑,而是一概用搞笑这一词。
小编精心收集了关于搞笑的英文情景对话,供大家欣赏学习!关于搞笑的英文情景对话篇1uncle: how did jim do in his history examination?舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?mother: oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. they asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.母亲:唉,糟透了。
可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。
嗨,他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
关于搞笑的英文情景对话篇2Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”关于搞笑的英文情景对话篇3tommy: how is your little brother, johnny?汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?johnny: he is ill in bed. he hurt himself.约翰尼:他害病卧床了。
有关表达幽默的情景英语对话场景一:在咖啡厅A: Hey, do you know why the coffee here is so expensive?B: No idea, why?A: Because it's "expresso"! Get it? Express as in fast, and "espresso"!场景二:在办公室A: I'm so tired today. I think I need a vacation.B: Me too! Maybe we should start a "GoFundMe" page for our vacation.A: Haha, sounds like a plan. I'll donate my last dollar!场景三:在健身房B: Don't worry, Rome wasn't built in a day. Besides, the weight section is just a "muscle museum" for most of us.场景四:在超市A: Did you see the price of bananas today? It's outrageous!B: Yeah, I think they're trying to "go bananas" withtheir pricing strategy.场景五:在朋友家聚餐A: This dinner is amazing! Who cooked?B: I did, but don't worry, I'm not taking any credit. The secret ingredient is "love"… and a lo t of MSG.通过这些幽默的对话,我们可以看到,在日常生活中运用幽默可以轻松拉近人与人之间的距离,让沟通变得更加有趣。
爆笑英语笑话对话大全笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。
透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。
小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话对话,供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语笑话对话篇1This is a good one to follow the following previously submitted joke.A: What do you call a deer with no eyes?B: No idea. (No Eye Deer.)A: What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?B: Still no idea.爆笑英语笑话对话篇2The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
爆笑英语笑话对话篇3The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....新老师9月1日,乔治放学回到家里。
乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。
妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
经典搞笑英语对话带翻译阅读学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面店铺在这里整理了一些经典搞笑英语对话给大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!经典搞笑英语对话篇一1.He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
2.PrizeLittle Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm. "It's a prize, mother," he explained."A prize? What for, dear?""For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has, and I said three.""But an ostrich has only two legs.""I know it now. But all the pupils said four, so I was the closest."奖品小阿尔伯特腋下夹着一本新书从学校回家来了。
“这是奖品,妈妈。
”他解释道。
“奖品?因为什么得的。
英语小笑话两人对话版英语小笑话两人对话版民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
小编精心收集了两人对话版英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习! 两人对话版英语小笑话篇1Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnny?保姆: 约翰尼,你难道不喜欢你新生的小妹妹?Johnny: She's all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.约翰尼: 她还可以,但要是个男孩就好了。
威利·史密斯有一个新生的小妹妹。
现在他该认为我又在跟他学了。
两人对话版英语小笑话篇2Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one,by his Mum. "Share them with your sister."she said.妈妈给了哈里两个苹果,一个大点儿,另一个小点儿。
“跟妹妹分着吃。
”妈妈说。
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started tucking into the large one.所以,哈里就把小个儿的给了妹妹,自己开始啃那个大个儿的。
"Cor! said his sister, "If Mum had given them to me I'd have g iven you the large one and had the small one myself.”“哼,”妹妹说,“如果妈妈给了我,我会把大的给你,把小的留给我自己的。
英语幽默短笑话10篇在繁忙的学习工作中,适时读一些幽默笑话,放松自己,劳逸结合十分重要。
下面是店铺整理的10个英语幽默短笑话,希望大家喜欢!Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克:妈妈,我想看电视。
妈妈:今晚停电了。
迈克:那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl."你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
" 小女孩回答道。
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。
5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话1. "I have a terrible secret to confess," said the nervous man. "I don't know how to drive.""That's okay," the friend replied, "Neither do I."一个男人紧张地说:“我得向你坦白一个可怕的秘密,我不会开车。
”朋友回答说:“没关系,我也不会。
”2. "Do you want to hear a joke?" the man asked his friend."Sure," said the friend."Knock, knock," the man began."Who's there?" the friend asked."You are," said the man. "And you're drunk again!"“你想听笑话吗?”男人问他的朋友。
“当然,”朋友说。
“敲,敲,”男人开始讲。
“谁在那儿?”朋友问。
“你,”男人说。
“你又喝醉了!”3. "Did you hear about the restaurant that's all-you-can-eat?" asked the man."No," said the woman. "Is it good?""It's indescribable," said the man. "You'll just have to try it.""Well, I don't know," said the woman. "I'm trying to lose weight.""That's okay," said the man. "You can lose weight after you eat."一个男人问一个女人:“你有没有听说过有一家自助餐厅?”“没有,”女人说,“好吃吗?”“好吃得无法形容,”男人说,“你只有亲自去尝尝才行。
幽默的英语笑话以下是六个幽默的英语笑话及翻译:1. Why is the doctor so angry? (为什么医生那么生气?)Because he has no patience.(因为他没有耐心呀。
)笑点:耐心=patience,病人(复数形式)=patients,两个词读音相似,一语双关。
2. What is the longest word in the English language?(英语里最长的单词是?)Smiles. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.(Smiles,因为它的首尾字母之间隔了一英里那么长。
)笑点:翻译时需要保留smiles,因为中文不分单复数,这里规避了字面意义上的最长,而是利用了单词mile 的含义。
3. What do you call a deer with no eyes?(你把没有眼睛的鹿叫做什么?)No idea.(不知道。
)笑点:deer 和idea 读音相似,这里是谐音梗。
4. Two cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?(两只猫在屋顶上,哪只先滑下来?)The one with the smaller mew!(叫声更小的那只!)笑点:mew 是猫叫的拟声词,这里也可以理解为mu(摩擦系数),根据物理定律,摩擦系数越小,物体越容易滑动。
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?(当你把一个雪人跟一个吸血鬼结合起来,会得到什么?)Frostbite.(霜冻。
)笑点:frostbite 有霜冻和冻伤的意思,这里是双关。
6. What's the best thing to put into a pie?(什么东西放在馅饼里最好?)Your teeth.(你的牙齿。
英语搞笑对话两人十句1. Student: "I"m feeling very tired. I think I"m going to faint." Teacher: "Don"t faint. I"ll get you a glass of water."Student: "Thank you, but I think I"ll just sleep."2. Man: "I need to go to the store, do you want to come with me?" Wife: "No, I"m tired. I"ll just stay home and rest."Man: "Oh, okay. Well, just make sure to lock the door when you leave."3. Student: "I don"t understand this concept in my math class. Can you explain it to me?"Teacher: "Sure, but it will take a while. Let"s start with the basics." Student: "Oh, okay. I thought you were going to start with the hard parts."4. Man: "I"m feeling very excited. I think I"m going to have a heart attack."Wife: "Don"t worry. I"ll call an ambulance."Man: "Thank you, but I think I"ll just lie down for a while."5. Student: "I don"t understand why my teacher keeps making us do homework. It"s not like we"re going to use it in class."Teacher: "I understand your frustration, but homework helps you to learn the material better."Student: "Oh, okay. Well, then why don"t we just learn the material in class?"6. Man: "I"m feeling very hungry. Do you want to go get something to eat?"Wife: "No, I"m still full from last night."Man: "Oh, okay. Well, just make sure to order something that"s not too spicy."7. Student: "I"m feeling very confused about this assignment. Can you help me?"Teacher: "Sure, but let"s start from the beginning."Student: "Oh, okay. I thought you were going to tell me what to do next."8. Man: "I"m feeling very horny. Do you want to go have sex?"Wife: "No, I"m still tired from work."Man: "Oh, okay. Well, just make sure to lube up."9. Student: "I don"t understand why our teacher keeps making us do these difficult assignments. It"s not like we"re going to pass the class." Teacher: "I understand your frustration, but challenging assignments help to improve your skills."Student: "Oh, okay. Well, then why don"t we just do easier assignments?"10. Man: "I"m feeling very happy. I think I"m going to have a heart attack."Wife: "Don"t worry. I"ll call an ambulance."Man: "Thank you, but I think I"ll just lie down for a while."。
英语幽默笑话句子1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!3. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.5. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.8. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.10. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!11. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.13. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"14. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!16. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.20. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!21. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.22. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.24. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.25. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!26. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.27. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.28. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.29. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!30. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!31. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.32. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.33. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!34. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.35. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste.36. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.37. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."38. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.39. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!40. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.41. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!42. What do cows do for fun? They go to the moooo-vies.43. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!44. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.45. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!46. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"47. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.48. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.49. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!50. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!总结:以上提供了50个英语幽默笑话句子,希望能给你带来一些欢乐和轻松的时刻。
[爆笑英语对话笑话大全]英语短笑话大全爆笑爆笑英语对话笑话篇1男:Thisseatempty?(这个座位是空的吧?)女:Yes,andthisonewillbeifyousitdown.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。
)【我立马走人】男:Haven''tIseenyousomeplacebefore?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)女:Yes.That''swhyIdon''tgothereanymore.(是的。
这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。
)【我不想和你有任何交集】男:WillyougooutwithmethisSaturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)女:Sorry.I''mhavingaheadachethisweekend.(抱歉。
这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】男:CanIhaveyourname?(我能知道你的名字吗?)女:Why?Don''tyoualreadyhaveone?(为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)男:I''maphotographer.I''vebeenlookingforafacelikeyours.(我是摄影师。
我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。
)女:I''maplasticsurgeon.I''vebeenlookingforafacelikeyours.(我是整形外科医生。
我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。
)【长的真丑】男:IthinkIcouldmakeyouveryhappy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。
)女:Why?Areyouleaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】爆笑英语对话笑话篇2Peterdozedoffwhilehisteacherwastalking.老师正在讲课,彼得打起瞌睡来了。
关于2人对话形式的英语笑话在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。
下面是店铺带来的关于2人对话的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!关于2人对话的英语笑话篇一“I am sorry”.“I am sorry,too” 外国人回答.“I am sorry three” 我道.“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问.“I am sorry five” 我说……关于2人对话的英语笑话篇二this seat empty?(直译:这个座位是空的吧?)女:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。
)关于2人对话的英语笑话篇三男:Haven''t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)女:Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.(是的。
这就是为什么我不再去那个地方)关于2人对话的英语笑话篇四男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?女:Sure.男:What is your father’s name?女:Happy!男:Then, What is your mother’s name?女:Smile!男:Are you joking?女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff?男:Of course not.关于2人对话的英语笑话篇五The Looney BinLate one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"The first inmate said, "God told me!"Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"疯人院一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:“我是拿破仑!”另一个说:“你怎么知道?”第一个人说:“上帝对我说的!”一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:“我没说!”。
幽默英语对话“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来幽默英语对话,希望大家喜欢!幽默英语对话1A: You really like my stupid jokes?B: Yes, they just tear me up! You have such a dry sense of humor and you keep such a straight face that it takes minutes for the joke to dawn on me.A: Yes, well such jokes aren’t funny if the wisecracker laughs. My father was a great jokester. It sometimes took hours for me and my brother to get the joke.A: 你真的喜欢我讲的这些愚蠢的笑话吗?B: 是的,它们都快让我肚皮笑破了!你还真能装,板着个脸,我是过了一会儿才领悟你的笑话的。
A: 讲俏皮话的人自己先笑了,就没意思了。
我爸可会讲笑话了,有的时候我和我哥得花上半天功夫才能明白过来。
幽默英语对话2Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.老师正在讲课,彼得打起瞌睡来了。
Teacher: Peter!Tell us, what's the biggest in the world?老师:彼得!你说说,世界上什么最大?Peter: Well, well....eyelids....彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮……Teacher: What?Eyelids?老师:什么?眼皮?Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world.彼得:是的,老师。
两人英语幽默对话搞笑的短文一些幽默的英语对话,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些两人英语幽默对话,希望大家会细化你这些幽默英语。
两人英语幽默对话篇一男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?女:Sure.男:What is your father’s name?女:Happy!男:Then, What is your mother’s name?女:Smile!男:Are you joking?女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff?男:Of course not.女:Go ahead.男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start aband. Will you join us?女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you can play piano very well.女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.男:What are you good at?女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one. 男:Really? What does he like?女:He prefers quiet music.男:Good. How about Harry? He plays the guitar, doesn’t he?女:Yes, but Harry loves loud music such as disco .男:That's OK. I often go to disco with my friends.女:You mean we can play both loud music and quiet music?男:Why not?女:What kind of music style do you prefer, Ben?男:Oh, I like music that I can dance to. But we have one problem with our band女:what is it?男:I'm not a musician and I can't sing.女:Are you joking?男:No, that’s your sister’s name. Just now I was kidding.女:Well, that makes sense?!两人英语幽默对话篇二A:what is your name? 你叫啥名?B:Hu胡(谐音:谁)A:you~你B:Hu~胡A:Who?谁?B:yes, I am~是,我就是A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字B:Hu胡啊A:You!你!B:Yes, my name是啊,我的名字啊A:So tell me about it那就告诉我啊B:Hu!胡!A:You! What is your name!? 你!你叫啥名?!B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡A:O~哦两人英语幽默对话篇三Teacher: Why are you late, Frank?Frank : Because of the sign.Teacher: What sign?Frank : The o ne that says “School Ahead, Go Slow”.老师: Frank, 说为什么你迟到了.Frank: 因为,,因为那个标志.老师: 神马标志??Frank: 那个写着,前方是学校, 慢行!!的标志...两人英语幽默对话篇四Teacher: Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?Clyde : No sir, it’s the same dog.老师: clyde, 你的作文"我的狗狗"里写的东西和你哥哥写得一模一样. 你是不是抄袭了他的?Clyde: 不是这样的,老师! 我们俩养的是同一只狗狗.。
英语搞笑对话笑是人天生表情的一部分,它没有人主观意识的驱动,是属于自发行为;而搞笑,则是人类主动去寻求快乐。
下面是店铺给大家整理的英语搞笑对话,供大家参阅!英语搞笑对话篇1有一天,俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料。
他选好一样东西,俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看。
当然俺有点不好意思了,而且俺还会句英语。
于是,俺就对他说:“I am sorry”。
“I am sorry,too” 外国人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。
“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。
“I am sorry five” 我说……男:Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?)女:Actually I''d rather have the money.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱。
)英语搞笑对话篇2TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.GEORGE: Here it is!TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?CLASS: George!2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".ELLEN: I is...TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."英语搞笑对话篇3TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?CLASS: Big hands!英语搞笑对话篇4TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?STUDENT: Yes, Sir.TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.英语搞笑对话篇5TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.英语搞笑对话篇6男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some question s?女:Sure.男:What is your father’s name?女:Happy!男:Then, What is your mother’s name?女:Smile!男:Are you joking?女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff? 男:Of course not.女:Go ahead.男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start aband. Will you join us?女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you can play piano very well.女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.男:What are you good at?女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.男:Really? What does he like?英语搞笑对话篇7四个人登场,进行自我介绍(印度人):Good morning, boys and girls. I’m India and the monitor of the class.(中国人): Hello, everyone. I’m Chinese.(美国人): Hi, I’m American.(日本人,自我介绍的时候鞠个躬,显示所谓的礼仪): Hi, I’m Japanese and my English is very poor;Pangbai: During the National Day ,they travelled from Xi’an toShanghai passby Luoyang. It’s said that some interestingand funny story have been happened when they travelled.Now , they will show us what actually happened in theirtrip.India: Well, I rent a car, but the car can only take three people. Ihave an idea that we take turns to ask questions, anybody who give the right answer can get on, or run following the car.Do you agree with me?三个人异口同声地回答,尤以日本人最活跃.Yes ,sir. No problem.Inida: Now ,as the monitor of the class I will question now. Are youready?三个人再次异口同声地回答,日本人还是最活跃Yes, we are ready.India: Hi ,American, how many sun in the sky?American: Such a simple question. The answer is only one.India: Good job. And Chinese guy, how many moon in the sky?Chinese: So easy, it’s one.Japanese: wow , laughing…,(阴笑) these questions are so simple andour Japanese are so clever.India: Hi. Japanese. Do you know how many stars in the sky?Japanese: Stars? Are you kidding me? Sorry, I don’t know.India(淫笑): I’m sorry, you don’t give me a right answer. So, we three go to Luoyang by car and you follow us. Let’s go.(对其他两人说).Pangbai: Now, the Chinese , the India, the American trave to Luoyang by car and the Japanese have to run following the car. Several days later, the three man have taken a tour inLuoyang and they are talking about their fells. But theJapanese is still on his way.American: 描述一下洛阳,百度多的是,我也是搜的.在此省略了.Chinese: We have to go now, bur where is the Japanese?Japanese: (气喘吁吁地跑过来,弯着腰说) Thank god, I come up withyou finally.India: (对日本人说) Are you OK?Japanese: (立马直起腰) I can’t be fine any more.(嘴硬!)India: Good! Now, we start the second round questioning andChineseguy, This is your hometown and as host you question us.Chinese: OK, it’s my turn. I’ll ask questions about our Chinesehistory and monitor, Do you know the Liberation Campaignof China.India: Let me see. It’s LiaoShen War, PeiPing war and HuaiHai War.Chinese: Absolutely right. And American, Do you know how manysoldiers sacrificed in that war?American: En…, I think it’s about 500,000.Chinese: Good! And Japanese, do you know their names ?Japanese: names? (苦笑,垂头丧气地),I don’t know.Chinese” I’m sorry, boy. You failed again.(假惺惺地拍拍日本人的肩膀,对其他俩人说),Let’s go.Pangbai: Another time, the Japanese travelled on foot and the otherthree by car.. Suddenly they met each other somewhere on the rode outside the Luoyang city.American: Hi. Japanese, how are you ?Japanese:(边跑边说,气喘吁吁) I’m fine. Thank you ,And you ? American:(look around ) We can’t be fine any more.Chinese: See you in Shanghai.Pangbai: Several days later. The three men had enjoyed their goodtime in Shanghai and the Japanese is still on his way. Butfortunately, they had changed their car for fore-seat. Itseemed that the Japanese still don’t know. Now they aretalking about their felling about Shanghai.Chinese: 描述上海.百度搜.India” It’s really an interesting journey and t ime up, we should gohome. But where is the Japanese?Japanese: (累死累活的跑过来)Wait me for a while. I’m here. India: OK! Let’s go back.Japanese: wait, wait… ,I don’t think it’s fair to me . I have run fromXi’an to Shanghai and I have to answer the first quest ion. India: What question?American: (与中国人对视一笑) OK! I pick out a question for you.How many leaves in that tree?Japanese: one , two , three …, wow , so many. I can’t find the answer.My god, I have to run from Shanghai to Xi’an again. (说完跑开了).Chinese: what a foolish the Japanese man. Our car have four seats.Why he run away again?India: Become fool when run, I think.Pangbai: Several days later. They all back to Xi’an. Now they arehere and having my class; “Hi, boys, how is your trip?”Japanese: It’s terrible . I am so tired.Pangbai: you are a real marathon runner and you three?India: we all have enjoyed the trip.Pangbai: (铃响了) Time flies. We have ten minutes break. 美国人往外走, 不小心被日本人撞了一下.发生如下对话.Japanese: I'm sorry,sir.American: I'm sorry, too.Japanese: two? I'm sorry three?American: What are you sorry for?Japanese: four? I' m sorry five.American: What do you want to say?Teacher: 老师听不下去了,生气了.这时,the teacher got down andknocked the head of Japanese and said :"I have taught you for two years ,What did you say just now! Time up, we have the class now."Teacher: st week, we...此时中国人登场了,打断老师的讲话.Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?Teacher: 一挥手,说道 Go ahead!听到这个这个中国人坐下了.Teacher: Last week, we ....,,Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?Teacher: 呃,再次说道 Go ahead.听到这个,中国人再次坐下了.一旁的印度人催他去,但他无动于衷. Teacher: Last week, we ...Chinese: Mr. Hu. May I go ....Teacher: Don't disturb me any more. I have said go ahead, go ahead.Why don't you go?Chinese: You alway say that go ahead, go ahead. It means去你个头呀. How can I go ?Teacher: Unbelievable! Now you can go to the toilet.Chinese: But I ' m fine now. Thank you.Teacher: It' s up to you. Last week, we have assigned a dialog between Chinese and American. And are you ready now? Chinese & American: Yes!Teacher: Now , the Chinese acts for a waiter and the American for aforeign guest. What will happen between them?Chinese: Hello.American: Hello.Chinese: You have what thing?American: Can you speak English?Chinese: If I not speak English, I speak what?American: Is anybody else speaking English?Chinese: You yourself look, All people are playing, no people havetime. You can wait, you not wait you go.American: Good heavens ! Anybody else can speak English?Chinese: Shout what shout! 啊, give me a little quilt. ....en.... Youhave what thing?American: I want to speak to your head?Chinese: Head? Head 今天没来, Tomorrow 你来吧.。
英语幽默小对话
1:
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why What did he do to you
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: Thats no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, thats what he did.
Preacher: Thats still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, thats what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, thats still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
2:
A: You really like my stupid jokes
B: Yes, they just tear me up! You have such a dry sense of humor and you keep such a straight face that it takes minutes for the joke to dawn on me.
A: Yes, well such jokes arent funny if the wisecracker laughs. My father was a great jokester. It sometimes took hours for me and my brother to get the joke.
A: 你真的喜欢我讲的这些愚蠢的笑话吗
B: 是的,它们都快让我肚皮笑破了!你还真能装,板着个脸,我是过了一会儿才领悟你的笑话的。
A: 讲俏皮话的人自己先笑了,就没意思了。
我爸可会讲笑话了,有的时候我和我哥得花上半天功夫才能明白过来。
3:
男: This seat empty(这个座位是空的吧)
女:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。
)【我立马走人】
男:Havent I seen you some place before(我好像以前在什么地方见过你)
女:Yes. Thats why I dont go there anymore.(是的。
这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。
)【我不想和你有任何交集】
男:Will you go out with me this Saturday(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗)
女:Sorry. Im having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。
这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】
男:Can I have your name(我能知道你的名字吗)
女:Why Dont you already have one (为什么你不是已经有一个了吗)
男:Im a photographer. Ive been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。
我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。
) 女:Im a plastic surgeon. Ive been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。
我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。
)【长的真丑】
男:I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。
)
女:Why Are you leaving(是吗你是说你要离开)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】。