绝望的主妇中英字幕下载

1X01: PILOTNARRATOR: My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life. That all changed last Thursday. Of course everything seemed as normal at first. I made my breakfast for my family.MARY ALICE::Here we are. Waffles.NARRATOR: I performed my chores.NARRATOR: I completed my projects.NARRATOR: I ran my errands NARRATOR: In truth, I spent the day as I spend every other day - quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection. NARRATOR: That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet to retrieve a revolver that had never been used.NARRATOR: My body was discovered by my neighbour, Mrs. Martha Huber, who had been startled by a strange popping sound. Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced. After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me 6 months before. MRS HUBER: (on the phone) It's my neighbour. I think she's been shot, there's blood everywhere. Yes, you've got to send an ambulance. You've got to send one right now! NARRATOR: And for a moment, Mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy. But, only for a moment. NARRATOR: If there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.NARRATOR: I was laid to rest on a Monday. After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects. And as people do in this situation, they brought food.NARRATOR: Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken. Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.NARRATOR: Of course, she didn't cook much as she was moving up the corporate ladder. She didn't have the time.NARRATOR: But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea. Why not quit your job? Kids do much better with stay at home mums; it was so much less stressful.NARRATOR: But this was not the case.NARRATOR: In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from a fast food restaurant. Lynette would have appreciated the irony of it if she stopped to think about it, but she couldn't. She didn't have the time. LYNETTE: Hey, hey, hey, hey!LYNETTE: Stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop it.PRESTON: But Mom!LYNETTE: No, you are going to behave today. I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighbourhood. And, just so you know how serious I am... PRESTON: What's that?LYNETTE: Santa's cell-phone number.PORTER: How'd you get that?LYNETTE: I know someone, who knows someone, who knows an elf. And if anyone of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas. You willing to risk that?SCAVO kids: Uh-uh! (all shake their heads vehemently)LYNETTE: Okay.LYNETTE: Let's get this over with.NARRATOR: Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block, brought a spicy paella. NARRATOR: Since her modelling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men. Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date. Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.NARRATOR: But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal.NARRATOR: Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot. However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.CARLOS: If you talk to Al Mason at this thing, I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace.GABRIELLE: Why don't I just pin the receipt to my chest?CARLOS: He let me know how much he paid for his wife's new convertible. Look, just work it into the conversation.GABRIELLE: There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos.CARLOS: Why not? At the Donohue party, everyone was talking about mutual funds. And you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield. GABRIELLE: I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation. CARLOS: Hey, people are starting to stare. Can you keep your voice down please? GABRIELLE: (sigh) Absolutely. Wouldn't want them to think we're not happy. NARRATOR: Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. Bree was known for her cooking.NARRATOR: And for making her own clothes.NARRATOR: And for doing her own gardening.NARRATOR: And for reupholstering her own furniture.NARRATOR: Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighbourhood. And everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother. Everyone, that is, except her own family.BREE: Paul, Zachary.ZACH: Hello Mrs. Van De Kamp.PAUL: Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.(PAUL extends his hands to take the baskets from BREE, who moves the baskets out of his reach as he tries to take them from her.)BREE: It was no trouble at all. Now the basket with the red ribbon (holds up the basket) is filled with desserts for your guests. But the one with the blue ribbon (holds up the other basket) is just for you and Zachary. It's got rolls, muffins, breakfast type things.PAUL: Thank you.BREE: Well, the least I could do is make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forward to in the morning. I know you're out of your minds with grief.(REX, ANDREW and DANIELLE exchange long-suffering glances and mental eyeballing.)PAUL: Yes, we are.BREE: (beat) Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done. (smiling serenely)PAUL: (taken back) Of course.NARRATOR: Susan Meyer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese. Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was theonly thing she knew how to cook, and she rarely made it well. It was too salty the night she and Carl moved into their new house.NARRATOR: It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Carl's shirt. NARRATOR: She burned it the night Carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.NARRATOR: A year had passed since the divorce. Susan was starting to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life, even one who would make fun of her cooking.JULIE: Mom, why would someone kill themselves?SUSAN: Well, sometimes people are so unhappy they think it's the only way they can solve their problems.JULIE: But Mrs. Young always seemed happy.SUSAN: Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside and they're totally different on the inside.JULIE: Oh you mean how Dad's girlfriend is always smiling and says nice things but deep down you just know she's a bi*ch.SUSAN: I don't like that word, Julie. But yeah, that's a great example.JULIE: Hey, what's going on?SUSAN: Sorry I'm late.GABRIELLE: Hi Susan.LYNETTE: (smiles at SUSAN) Hey.MARY ALICE:(to SUSAN) So? What did Carl say when you confronted him? SUSAN: You'll love this, he said it doesn't mean anything, it was just sex.(They all groan.)BREE: Oh yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook.SUSAN: Yeah, and then he got this Zen look on his face, and he said, you know Susan, most men live lives of quiet desperation.LYNETTE: Please tell me you punched him.SUSAN: No, I said, really? And what do most women lead, lives of noisy fulfillment? GABRIELLE: (raises her eyebrows) Hmm.MARY ALICE: Good for you.SUSAN: I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch.GABRIELLE: It's like my grandmother always said, an erect penis doesn't have a conscience.LYNETTE: Even the limp ones aren't that ethical.BREE: This is half the reason I joined the NRA. (SUSAN looks at her.) Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences, I wanted at the back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home, with a loaded Smith and Wesson.MARY ALICE: Lynnie? Tom's always away on business. Do you ever worry he might..? LYNETTE: Oh, please, the man's gotten me pregnant three times in four years. I wish he was having sex with someone else. (smiles)BREE: So Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman?SUSAN: I don't know. (smiles, tearing up) I'm sorry you guys, I just... I just don't know how I'm going to survive this.MARY ALICE: Listen to me. (puts her hand on SUSAN's hand) We all have moments of desperation. But if we can face them head on, that's how we find out just how strong we really are.BREE: Susan? Susan. (SUSAN withdraws her hand from the same position from theflashback.) I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on Friday. He needs us to go through Mary Alice's closet, and help pack up her things. He says he can't face doing it by himself.SUSAN: Sure, that's fine.BREE: Are you OK?SUSAN: Yeah. I'm just so angry. If Mary Alice was having problems, she should have come to us; she should have let us help her.GABRIELLE: What kind of problems could she have had? She was healthy, had a great home, a nice family. Her life was?-LYNETTE: -our life.GABRIELLE: No, if Mary Alice was having some sort of crisis, we'd have known. She lives 50 feet away, for god's sakes.SUSAN: Gabby, the woman killed herself. Something must've been going on. SUSAN: Oh, I wouldn't eat that if I were you.MIKE: Why?SUSAN: I made it, trust me. (MIKE prepares to take a bite) Hey, hey, do you have a death wish?MIKE: No, I just refuse to believe that anybody can screw up macaroni and cheese. MIKE: Oh my god. (makes a face) How did you?it tastes like it's burnt and undercooked.SUSAN: Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go.MIKE: Thanks. I'm Mike Delfino, I just rented out the Sim's house next door. SUSAN: Susan Meyer, I live across the street.MIKE: Oh yeah, Mrs. Huber told me about you, said you illustrate children's books. SUSAN: Yeah I'm very big with the under 5 set. (MIKE laughs) What do you do? MIKE: Plumber. So if you ever have a clog. Or something.SUSAN: (laughs) Now that everybody's seen that I've brought something, I should probably just throw this out.LYNETTE: (to baby) Ow! Ease up, you little vampire.MRS. HUBER: Lynette! I've been looking all over for you.LYNETTE: Oh. (smiles, distracted by the baby)MRS. HUBER:Are you aware of what your sons are doing?SCAVO kids: Stop. Arrrggggh. Hah!LYNETTE: What are you doing!? We are at a wake!PRESTON: When we got here, you said we could go in the pool.LYNETTE: (crouches down) I said you could go by the pool. Do you have your swimsuits on??PORTER: Yeah, we put them on under our clothes just before we left. LYNETTE: You three planned this?? Alright, that's it. Get out!PORTER: No!LYNETTE: No? I am your mother. You have to do what I say. Come on. PRESTON: We wanna swim and you can't stop us.LYNETTE: (gives the baby to a man standing nearby) Here.LYNETTE: Get out. Or I will get in this pool and just grab you, get out! Get over here. Get over here. Get back or I'll kill you.LYNETTE: That's right, get over here. Go, go, go, ugh. Move it. Out. Get out. LYNETTE: Paul. We have to leave now. Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. Go! NARRATOR: Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband. He had other things on his mind. Things below the surface.NARRATOR: The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbours quietly went back to their busy, busy lives. Some did their cooking.NARRATOR: And some did their cleaning.NARRATOR: And some did their yoga.NARRATOR: Others did their homework.JULIE: I'm Julie, I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard.MIKE: Oh, OK. Well, let's go round and get it. (to dog) Stay.JULIE: (to SUSAN) His wife died a year ago, he wanted to stay in LA but there were too many memories. He's renting for tax purposes, but he's hoping to buy a place real soon.SUSAN: I can't believe you went over there.JULIE: Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake. You're obviously into each other. Now that you know he's single, you can ask him out.SUSAN: Julie, I like Mr. Delfino, I do. It's just, I don't know if I'm ready to start dating yet.JULIE: Ugh, you need to get back out there. Come on. How long has it been since you're had sex? (SUSAN's pen halts stroke. She turns to look at JULIE, open-mouthed.) Are you mad that I asked you that?SUSAN: No, I'm just trying to remember. (JULIE tilts her head to one side, smiling at SUSAN, who turns back to her drawing.) I don't wanna talk to you about my love life anymore, it weirds me out.JULIE: I wouldn't have said anything it's just?SUSAN: (turns around to look at JULIE) What?JULIE: I heard Dad's girlfriend asking if you'd dated anyone since the divorce, and Dad said he doubted it. (SUSAN looks down at her lap.) And then they both laughed. MIKE: Hey, Susan.SUSAN: Hi Mike. (smiles) I brought you a little housewarming gift. I probably should've brought something by earlier, but...MIKE: Actually, you're the first in the neighbourhood to stop by.SUSAN: Really? (She laughs)NARRATOR: Susan knew she was lucky. An eligible bachelor had moved onto Wisteria Lane, and she was the first to find out. But she also knew that good news travels quickly.EDIE: (waving as she walks, holding a dish) Hello there!NARRATOR: (slow motion shot of Edie jogging towards MIKE and SUSAN) Edie Britt was the most predatory divorcee in a 5 block radius. Her conquests were numerous. NARRATOR: Varied?NARRATOR: And legendary.EDIE: Hi Susan, I hope I'm not interrupting. You must be Mike Delfino. Hi, I'm Edie. Britt. I live over there (points). Welcome to Wisteria Lane. (SUSAN shifts NARRATOR: Susan had met the enemy, and she was a slut.MIKE: Thank you, what's this?EDIE: Sausage Puttenesca. It's just something I threw together. (SUSAN looks at MIKE: Thanks, Edie. (laughs) That's great. Uh, I'd invite you both in, but I was sorta in the middle of something.SUSAN: (overlapping EDIE) Oh, I'm late for an appointment anyway.EDIE: (overlapping SUSAN) Oh, no problem, I just wanted to say hi.MIKE: Well, thanks.NARRATOR: And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun. For a moment,Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.EDIE: (turns suddenly) Oh, Mike. I heard you're a plumber?MIKE: Yeah.EDIE: Do you think you could stop by later tonight and take a look at my pipes? NARRATOR: But she was reminded that when it came to men? Women don't fight fair.MIKE: Sure.EDIE: Thanks. Bye Susan.GABRIELLE: [OS] You can't order me around like I'm a child!CARLOS: Gabrielle...GABRIELLE: No. No, no, no, I'm not going.CARLOS: It's business, Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives. GABRIELLE: Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grab my ass. CARLOS: (puts his hand on GABRIELLE's shoulder) I made over $200,000 doing business with him last year. If he wants to grab your ass, you let him. CARLOS: John!JOHN: Ow. Mr. Solis. You scared me.CARLOS: Why is that bush still there? I told you to dig it up last week.JOHN: I didn't have time last week.CARLOS: I don't wanna hear your excuses, just take care of it.GABRIELLE: (to CARLOS) I really hate the way you talk to me.CARLOS: (walks up to her) And I really hate that I spent $15,000 on your diamond necklace that you couldn't live without. But I'm learning to deal with it. So. Can I tell Tanaka we'll be there tomorrow night?GABRIELLE: John. We have bandages top shelf in the kitchen.JOHN: Thanks, Mrs. Solis.GABRIELLE: Fine. I'll go. But I'm keeping my back pressed against the wall the entire time.CARLOS: See? Now this is what a marriage is all about - compromise. GABRIELLE: Is your finger ok?JOHN: Yeah, yeah, it's just a small cut.GABRIELLE: Let me see. Mmmm.JOHN: You know, Mrs. Solis, uhh, I really like it when we hook up. But, um, you know I gottaget my work done, I can't afford to lose this job.GABRIELLE: This table is hand carved. Carlos had it imported from Italy. It cost him $23,000.JOHN: You wanna do it on the table this time?GABRIELLE: Absolutely.DANIELLE: Why can't we ever have normal soup?BREE: Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree.DANIELLE: Just once, can we have a soup that people have heard of? Like, french onion or navy bean.BREE: First of all, your father can't eat onions, he's deadly allergic. And I won't even dignify your navy bean suggestion. So. How's the osso bucco?ANDREW: It's OK. (BREE stares at him.)BREE: It's OK? Andrew, I spent 3 hours cooking this meal. How do you think it makes me feel when you say it's OK, in that sullen tone?ANDREW: Who asked you to spend 3 hours on dinner? BREE: Excuse me? ANDREW: Tim Harper's mom gets home from work, pops open a can of pork andbeans, and boom, they're eating, everyone's happy.BREE: You'd rather I serve pork and beans?DANIELLE: Apologize now, I am begging.ANDREW: I'm just saying, do you always have to serve cuisine? Can't we ever just have food?BREE: Are you doing drugs?ANDREW: What!?BREE: Change in behaviour is one of the warning signs, and you have been as fresh as paint for the last 6 months. That certainly would explain why you're always locked in the bathroom.DANIELLE: (grinning) Trust me, that is not what he is doing.ANDREW: Shut up. Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, alright? You're the one always acting like she's running for mayor of Stepford.BREE: Rex. Seeing as you're the head of this household, I would really appreciate you saying something.REX: Pass the salt?NARRATOR: Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion - indignation.LYNETTE: Tom, this is my 5th message and you still haven't called me back. Well, you must be having a lot of fun on your business trip. I can only imagine. Well, guess what, the kids and I wanna have some fun too, so unless you call me back by noon, we are getting on a plane and joining you.PRESTON: Mom!LYNETTE: Not now, honey, Mommy's threatening Daddy.PRESTON: Mom!LYNETTE: No, I am not... Where're your brothers?PORTER: Noodles, my favourite!SHOPPER: Lynette Scavo?LYNETTE: Crap. Natalie Klein, I don't believe it!SHOPPER: Lynette! How long has it been?LYNETTE:Years! Uh, how are you, how's the firm?SHOPPER: Good, everyone misses you.LYNETTE: Yeah.SHOPPER: We all say, if you hadn't quit, you'd be running the place by now. LYNETTE: Yeah, well.SHOPPER: So?how's domestic life? Don't you just love being a mom? NARRATOR: And there it was - the question that Lynette always dreaded. LYNETTE: Well, to be honest...NARRATOR: To those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable. So, Lynette responded as she always did - she lied.LYNETTE: It's the best job I've ever had. JOHN: You know what I don't get? GABRIELLE: What?JOHN: Why you married Mr. Solis.GABRIELLE: Well, he promised to give me everything I've ever wanted.JOHN: Well, did he?GABRIELLE: Yes.JOHN: Then... why aren't you happy?GABRIELLE: Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.JOHN: So. Do you love him?GABRIELLE: I do. (sighs)JOHN: Well, then, why are we here? Why are we doing this?GABRIELLE: Because I don't wanna wake up some morning with a sudden urge to blow my brains out.JOHN: Hey, can I have a drag?GABRIELLE: Absolutely not. You are much too young to smoke.SUSAN: (exhales loudly) How would you feel about me using your child support payments for plastic surgery?JULIE: Stop being so nervous, you're just asking him out to dinner. It's no big deal. SUSAN: You're right. (stalling) So, is that your project for school? You know in 5th grade I made the white house out of sugar cubes.JULIE: Stop stalling and go. Before Mike figures out he can do better.SUSAN: (gapes at JULIE) Tell me again why I fought for custody of you? JULIE: You were using me to hurt Dad.SUSAN: Oh, that're right. 、SUSAN: Oh god.SUSAN: (smiles) Hi.MIKE: Hey, Susan.SUSAN: Are you busy?MIKE: No, not at all, what's up?SUSAN: Well, I., I just was wondering, if, um, if there was any chance that, um, you would uh... (nervous laughter) I just... wanted to ask if...SUSAN: (sees EDIE, surprised) Edie. What are you...?EDIE: I was making ambrosia, and I made too much so I thought I'd bring some over to Mike. What's going on?MIKE: Uh, Susan was just about to ask me something.SUSAN: Uh... (beat) I have a clog.MIKE: Excuse me?SUSAN: And you're a plumber. Right?MIKE: Yeah.SUSAN: The clog's in the pipe.MIKE: Yeah, that's usually where they are.SUSAN: (laughs) Well, I've got one.MIKE: Well, let me get my tools.SUSAN: Now? You wanna come over now? (uh oh.) Y-you have company. EDIE: I don't mind. (smiles innocently at SUSAN)MIKE: Just give me 2 minutes. I'll be right over.SUSAN: That's it, just stuff the hair down.JULIE: I stuffed it; it's not enough to clog it.SUSAN: Here, here, look. Put in this peanut butter. And this cooking oil. And these olives!JULIE: Mom, Mom I'm telling you it's not working.SUSAN: Uh, oh god. That's him. How am I gonna stuff up the sink...MIKE: Well. Here's your problem. Looks like somebody stuffed a bunch of popsicle sticks down there.SUSAN: I've told Julie a million times not to play in the kitchen. Kids, y' know? SERVER:Alright, I'll go put in your order. I'll be right back with your drinks and your plates for the salad bar. (walks away)REX: Thank you.BREE: Andrew, Danielle, napkins? (smiles at them)ANDREW: They have video games. Can we go play until our food gets here? BREE: Andrew. This is family time. I think we should all...REX: Go ahead and play.BREE: I know that you think I'm angry about coming here, but I'm not. I mean, the kids wanted a change of pace, something fun. I get it. (smiles at REX) Probably will want something healthier tomorrow night though, I'm thinking about chicken? REX: (interrupts BREE) I want a divorce. (BREE looks at him, stunned) I just can't live in this... this detergent commercial anymore.SERVER:The salad bar's right over there, help yourself.REX: Thank you.(watches as the SERVER walks away)BREE: Um. Think I'll go get your salad for you.MRS. HUBER:Bree Van De Kamp!BREE: (looks up, startled) Oh, hello Mrs. Huber.MRS. HUBER:Oh we didn't get a chance to talk at Mary Alice's wake. How are you doing?NARRATOR: Bree longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal, but sadly for Bree, admitting defeat was not an option.BREE: Great. Everything is just great.BREE: Okay, well, I got you the honey mustard dressing; the ranch looked just a little bit suspect.REX: Are we gonna talk about what I just said?BREE: If you think I'm gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labelled "chicks" and "dudes "(looks up at REX), you're out of your mind.REX: What's in this?BREE: What do you mean what's in this? It's salad.REX: With? with onions?BREE: What?REX: You put onions in my salad!!BREE: (gasps) No, I didn't! (realizing) Oh wait?NARRATOR: The sound that awakened my son was something he'd heard only once before, many years ago, when he was quite young.NARRATOR: But he recognized it instantly.NARRATOR: It was the sound of family secret.NARRATOR: Seven days after my funeral, life on Wisteria Lane finally returned to normal. Which, for some of my friends, was unfortunate.PARKER:Mommy, Mommy!LYNETTE: (sotto) Now what.PARKER:Daddy's home!TOM: (laughing) Come on! Is everybody home?LYNETTE: Hey, yeah! SCAVO kids: Yeah, yeah!TOM: Hey!LYNETTE: I wasn't expecting you for a week!TOM: I have to go back to Frisco in the morning. When I got your call, you sounded a little frazzled.LYNETTE: Yeah! It's been a little rough!TOM: Hmm, yeah, peaches.PARKER:Daddy, Daddy, did you buy us any presents?TOM: Oh god, presents. Oh, wait a minute, lemme see.Ooooh.SCAVO kids: Yaaaaayyy! (LYNETTE smiles)TOM: But I'm not gonna give it to you, unless you promise me that you're gonna go outside right now and practice throwing for 20 minutes, okay? You promise? SCAVO kids: Yeah, yeah, yeah!!TOM: Get out! Who's open! Go left!SCAVO kids: Yeah yeah yeah!TOM: Deeper, deeper, touchdown!LYNETTE: Oh my god, oh my, oh!LYNETTE: Ooh, you gotta be kidding! I'm exhausted! I look terrible, I'm covered in peaches!TOM: Sorry baby, I gotta have you.LYNETTE: Well, is it ok if I just lie here?TOM: Absolutely.LYNETTE: I love you.TOM: I love you more.LYNETTE: Oh wait, I gotta tell you, I was having trouble with swelling, so the doctor took me off the pill, so you're just gonna have to put on a condom.LYNETTE: Yeah.TOM: What's the big deal? Let's risk it.LYNETTE: (incredulous) Let's risk it?TOM: Yeah.LYNETTE: Ooh!REX: I can't believe you tried to kill me.BREE: Yes, well, I feel badly about that. I told you, Mrs. Huber came over and I got distracted. It was a mistake.REX: Since when do you make mistakes?BREE: (laughing) What's that supposed to mean?REX: It means I'm sick of you being so damn perfect all the time. I-I-I'm sick of the bizarre way your hair doesn't move. I'm sick of you making the bed in the morning before I've even used the bathroom. You're, you're this plastic suburban housewife with her pearls and her spatula, who says things like We owe the Hendersons a dinner? Where's the woman I fell in love with? Who, who used to burn the toast, drink milk out of the carton, and laugh? I need her. Not this cold perfect thing you've become.BREE: These need water.NARRATOR: BREE sobbed quietly in the bathroom for 5 minutes. But her husband never knew. Because when Bree finally emerged, she was perfect. GABRIELLE: I found my earrings, we can go now.CARLOS: Was John here today?GABRIELLE: Well, yeah.CARLOS: The lawn hasn't been mowed. I've had it; we're getting a real gardener. GABRIELLE: Why??CARLOS: Are you deaf? I just said, he's not doing his job.GABRIELLE: It's dark, you just can't see that the lawn has been mowed. CARLOS: It hasn't been. Feel this grass.GABRIELLE: I'm not feeling the grass! Let's just get going, come on! We're late! CARLOS: Take care of it.VALET: Yes, sir.CARLOS: There's Tanaka. Time for me to go into my dance.GABRIELLE: (smiles) Good luck, sweetheart.GABRIELLE: Oh, excuse me.WAITER: Ma'am?GABRIELLE: You see that man who just walked away? Can you make sure he has a drink in his hand all. night. long. (tucks a folded banknote in his pocket.) Waiter: (smiles) Yes, ma'am.MRS. HUBER:Susan? Susan!SUSAN: (smiles) Oh. Mrs. Huber, how you doing?MRS. HUBER:Not too well, I'm afraid. I'm trying to find something to soothe my stomach.SUSAN: It's upset?MRS. HUBER:Yeah, I had the worst macaroni and cheese at the wake, it's been running through my system ever since.SUSAN: (sympathetic smile) Oh.MRS. HUBER:And I need to be at my best tonight. Edie Britt's son is spending the night tonight.SUSAN: (raises her eyebrows) He's spending the night?MRS. HUBER:Apparently, Edie is having a gentleman friend over on dinner, and I think she plans on entertaining into the wee hours, if you know what I mean. SUSAN: I can't believe it. This can't be happening. Mike can't like Edie better than me, he just can't!ng on. Maybe they're just... having dinner.JULIE: You're right. They're doing it.SUSAN: Edie?SUSAN: Edie? Hello..?SUSAN: Anybody home? I need to borrow sugar?EDIE: [OS] Oh! Oh my god!NARRATOR: And just like that, the possibility that Susan had clung onto, the maybe of Mike Delfino was gone forever. And despite the precariousness of the situation, Susan took a moment to mourn her loss.SUSAN: Oh... Oh! Oh!NARRATOR: It didn't take long for Susan to realize, this was just not her night. EDIE: (OS) Is somebody out there? Oh my god, there's smoke!EDIE: (teary) Oh my god. Oh... (leans against the fire truck)MRS. HUBER: (in a lowered voice, to neighbour) ...candles unattended in the den. Paramedics say she was lucky, she could've been killed!LYNETTE: She was having sex with some guy when the fire started. GABRIELLE: What happened to him?LYNETTE: He got smoke inhalation, he's at the hospital.SUSAN: Oh..BREE: Susan, are you alright? You look awful.SUSAN: I'm fine. I'm fine. I just feel really bad for Edie.GABRIELLE: Oh, don't worry about Edie. She's a strong lady.LYNETTE: Absolutely. She'll get through this. She'll find a way to survive. BREE: We all do.GABRIELLE: Come on.MIKE: Wow, what happened?SUSAN: (surprised) Mike!。

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 1X15ORIGINAL AIRDATE : Mon, Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 10pm (ABC)WRITTEN BY TOM SPEZIALY & MARC CHERRYDIRECTED BY LARRY SHAW==========================TRANSCRIPT:==========================Bree’s HouseBree comes down the stairs with a basket of laundry."Bree Van De Kamp believed in old-fashioned values. Things like respect for God, the importance of family, and love of country. In fact, Bree believed so strongly in her values, it was always a shock whenever she was confronted with those who didn't."As she sorts the laundry in front of the washer, she pulls out a condom from the basket. Moments later, she holds it up in front of Rex, who's paying bills at the dining room table. Rex: "It's not mine."Bree: "You promised the cheating had stopped, Rex. You promised."Rex: "Could we not yell at each other? I'm feeling really lousy today."Bree: "I want you out of the house!"Rex: "Bree, look at me. It's not mine."Bree: "Well, then, whose is it? It didn't just magically appear in my laundry basket."Rex: "Well, I'm not the only guy in this house that uses that hamper."He gets up and walks through the kitchen. Bree follows him.Bree: "No."Rex: "Sorry."Bree: "Andrew is still a child."Rex: "He's sixteen. It's not unheard of."Bree: "Honey, you have to talk to him."Rex: "And tell him what?"Bree: "Tell him that we found his condom and that he is forbidden from - y'know."Rex: "I can absolutely tell him that we think he's too young, but I don't think it's gonna do any good."Bree: "Well, then the least we can do is go search his room and if we find any more of these, we'll confiscate them."Rex: "And that will accomplish what?"Bree: "Well, if we take away his condoms, maybe--"Rex: "He's a teenage boy. We could take away his penis. He'd still try to have sex."Bree: "Well, we can't put it back in his room. I mean that would be like we're condoning him having pre-marital sex."Rex: "Bree, let me put this another way. Do you want to become a grandmother?"Cut to Bree leaving freshly-laundered clothes on Andrew's bed, then leaving his room, passing Andrew in the hallway. Andrew enters in his room."Yes, Bree believed in old-fashioned values, but she also believed it was better to be safethan sorry."Once in his room, Andrew sees the condom conspicuously left on his bed.CUT TO:CreditsCUT TO:"Each new morning in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies. Little white lies told not to hurt."A postman walks past a woman putting a bumper sticker on her car. The woman looks grumpy.Postman: "Morning Mrs. Cutchel. You look lovely today."The woman smiles after him."...but to make life more pleasant. They tell these lies to protect themselves and their reputations."The postman thumbs through the small stack of bills marked "Past Due" addressed to the Solis residence as he walks up to Carlos and Gabrielle's house. Carlos walks up the sidewalk to meet him and takes the mail.Carlos: "Oh, for God sakes, this is unbelievable. It's the last time I do my banking online." "Of course, every now and then, the day arrives when someone finally decides to tell the truth."CUT TO:Bree's HouseSusan, Gabrielle, and Bree sit at the dining room table with coffee cups in front of them. Lynette stands in the corner.Gabrielle: "He was shot? How could you not tell us about this?"Susan: "He was embarrassed. He said it was an accident. Oh, don't look at me like that. Accidents happen."Gabrielle: "We know that you want to trust Mike, but he had a dead woman's jewelry in his garage."Susan: "Now did he? We don't know that for sure. All we know is that Lynette's kids turned up with it."Bree: "So what are you saying, that the twins murdered Martha?"Lynette: "Well, I wouldn't put it past them."Susan: "I'm saying that is about as likely as Mike having done it. He's a good guy. I know him.I mean, he's, he's Mike."Lynette: "Honestly, I don't think Mike did it either, but if we don't call, we're guilty of withholding evidence."Bree: "Well, you know what? If he is innocent, this should be a simple matter to clear up." Gabrielle: "But, we will do whatever you want us to do."Susan: "Okay, call."Bree: "So should I just dial nine one one?"Gabrielle: "Well, it's not really an emergency."Lynette: "It was a murder."Bree: "Well, not recently, and I'd prefer not to tie up the line."Susan: "Will you just call?"Bree dials the phone.CUT TO:Susan's HouseThere's a knock on the door. Julie answers it. It was Zach.Zach: "Hey."Julie: "My mom will be home any minute. She'll freak if she sees you here."Zach: "Oh, I just wanted to deliver this personally. I'm having a party."Julie: "You know she doesn't want us to see each other."Zach: "Well, you gotta come. You're the reason I'm doing this."Julie: "I'll try to talk to my mom, okay? But you really gotta go."He turns and walks away.CUT TO:Outside Gabrielle's HouseGabrielle, returning home, is greeted by a young man leaning against his truck.Justin: "Hey, Mrs. Solis."Gabrielle: "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"Justin: "Yeah, I'm Justin. John's roommate? I've been waiting forever for you to show up." Gabrielle: "Really, why?"Justin: "I want to do you a favor."Gabrielle: "What kind of favor?"Justin: "Well, John says that you can't exactly afford a gardener right now, and I told him I'd be happy to do it. For free."Gabrielle: "You want to mow my lawn for free?"Justin: "Mow your lawn, water your flowers, trim your bushes. I could do everything John did for you."Gabrielle: "That's very generous of you, but I don't think so."Justin: "Why?"Gabrielle: "Because my husband is home quite a lot these days. If any bush needs trimming, he takes care of it."Justin: "Well, this is a very beautiful yard. I'm sure it could use a little extra attention." Gabrielle: "I'm flattered but no thank you."She starts to walk past, and he grabs her arm, holding on.Justin: "Mrs. Solis, please."Gabrielle: "Did I mention why my husband's home a lot? He's under house arrest."Justin: "Oh?"Gabrielle: "He has a lot of anger toward the government right now and he's just dying to find someone to take it out on."He lets go of her arm and she walks briskly towards her front door.CUT TO:Lynette's HouseTom enters the house as the boys are playing hockey in the living room.Tom: "Hey guys, this isn't a hockey rink. Can you take it outside?"Lynette: "How was your day?"Tom: "Hey. I didn't get the V.P. gig."Lynette: "Oh, Tom, I'm so sorry."Tom: "It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, I'm Peterson's go-to guy, so how does Tim Doogan, the biggest blow-hard in the office get promoted to vice president over me?" Lynette: "I thought you liked Tim Doogan."Tom: "I do. I just, I just, I really wanted that promotion. Boys, can you please take the Stanley Cup Finals outside?"The boys ignore him.Lynette: "Well, did you tell Mr. Peterson that you wanted the job?"Tom: "I have worked at that firm for eight and a half years. Doogan's been there for less than two. I am not going to beg."Lynette: "I'm not saying to beg. You just have to step up from time to time. You have to see your opportunity and take it. Nobody respects a shrinking violet."Tom: "There is more than one, you know, leadership style. Mine is quiet but effective." Lynette (shouting at the boys): "Take that racket outside!" (to Tom) "Well, whatever works for ya."The boys immediately stop playing and head outside.CUT TO:Outside Susan's HouseSusan is taking groceries out of her car when Mike comes up from behind her.Mike: "Susan! Hey, sexy, where you been? I called you twice. You avoiding me?"Susan: "Don't be silly. Why would I do that? No, I've just been really busy grocery shopping." Mike: "For two days? You must be pretty well stocked."From behind Mike, police officers come out of unmarked cars and quickly and quietly draw their guns and walk hurriedly towards Mike. Susan notices them and looks worried.Mike: "How 'bout dinner tonight?"Susan: "Uh, dinner, tonight?"Mike: "You okay?"One of the cops motions with his hand for Susan to get down.Susan: "Can you hold these a sec?"She hands the groceries and dives to the ground. Immediately, the cops grab Mike and push him towards Susan's car, handcuff him, and start pulling him away while reading him his rights.Cop: "Up against the car! You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say can be used against you in a court of law..."CUT TO:Bree's HouseAt the dinner table, the four Van De Kamps eat.Andrew: "So, get this. Zach Young is throwing a pool party Saturday night and he sent out a bunch of formal invitations complete with fancy lettering."Danielle: "I'm surprised he didn't spritz them with after shave."Bree: "What is wrong with nice invitations?"Andrew: "Mom, it's a pool party."Danielle: "Why couldn't he've just pass out fliers in the quad?"Andrew: "Because he's genetically incapable of being cool?"Rex: "So, uh, you going?"Andrew: "Maybe. I mean, um, Lisa and Justin and some of the guys thought it'd be fun to swim. We can always bail if it's as lame as we think it's gonna be."Bree: "Is Lisa your friend with the pierced navel?"Andrew: "Yeah."Bree: "You've been spending a lot of time together lately, haven't you?"Andrew: "I guess."Bree: "Oh, uh, Andrew, I'm gonna want you home by eleven on Saturday."Andrew: "Eleven? Mom, it's not even a school night."Rex: "Bree, a curfew isn't gonna do any good."Bree: "You may be able to abdicate all your parental responsibility but I cannot." Andrew: "What, what's going on here? Would this have to do with the condom you left in my room?"Bree: "As a matter of fact it does, and just so we're clear, if you get Lisa pregnant, you will marry her."Andrew lets out an exasperated laugh.Bree: "Andrew, this is not funny."Andrew: "Mom, trust me. This is very funny, mostly because the condom wasn't mine."Bree stares accusingly at Rex, who in turn stares at Andrew like he knows he's lying. Andrew turns to Danielle, who, when she catches her father's eye, leans back in her chair and turns to Andrew.Danielle: "You suck, you know that?"Bree stares at Danielle, her mouth hanging open in shock.Later, Bree walks into the kitchen where Danielle is.Bree: "So obviously we need to talk."Danielle: "I'm still a virgin if that's what you want to know."Bree: "Well, good. But why on earth would you need a condom?"Danielle: "Because I'm planning on having sex and I don't want to get pregnant."Bree: "Danielle, you are president of the Abstinence Club."Danielle: "I wasn't planning on running for a second term."Bree: "Who were you planning on having sex with?"Danielle: "John."Bree: "John Rowland? I thought you broke up with him."Danielle: "No, he broke up with me. And you want to know why? Because I wouldn't do it." Bree: "Well, if that's the type of boy he is, then good riddance."Danielle: "Mom, every boy at my school is that type of boy. And besides, it's different with John. I love him."Bree: "Oh, sweetheart, just because you give a boy sex doesn't mean you'll get love in return."Danielle: "So maybe I'm being stupid. What's the big deal? It's just sex."Bree: "Honey, I am looking out for your happiness. Now, I understand what it's like to be young and feel urges, but I waited until I got married, as did your father, and it was so much better."Danielle: "Daddy ended up cheating on you."Bree: "Yes. Well -"Danielle: "And every since he moved back in, you've been miserable."Bree: "Why would you say that?"Danielle: "The walls between our bedrooms are paper thin. I hear more stuff than I probably should."Bree: "Oh."Danielle: "Look, mom, I love you a lot but you really are the last person to ever give anyone advice about sex and happiness."She gives her mom a kiss on the cheek and walks out of the room.CUT TO:Gabrielle's HouseGabrielle picks up the stack of bills and tosses them in front of Carlos.Gabrielle: "Have you seen these? Five more past due notices."Carlos: "Don't worry. I'm handling it."Gabrielle: "How? How are you handling it?"Carlos: "Can I please finish my sandwich?"Gabrielle: "Have you seen our checking account lately? We're broke. And then we have the mortgage payment coming up. We have property taxes.."Carlos: "Gabby, it's going to be okay."Gabrielle: "No, it's not. We are seriously screwed, and I am freaking out that you're not freaking out."Carlos: "Look, things will turn around."Gabrielle: "When?"Carlos: "I don't know when, but we're lucky people, and we'll be lucky again."Gabrielle: "What is that?"Carlos: "It's the lawnmower. We got a new gardener today. It's not going to cost us a cent. The kid's a friend of John's."Gabrielle: "Carlos--"Carlos: "And he said that he'd do the lawn for free. Can you believe it? We are lucky people."Carlos goes back to his sandwich while Gabrielle stands in the doorway, glaring at Justin, who mows the lawn with his shirt off. He sends a triumphant smile her way.CUT TO:Baseball FieldA company softball game is in progress. In the dugout, a man walks to position to bat, while others call out his name and he waves to the crowd.Doogan: "Hey you guys, good to see you again."Tom sits on the bench, staring after him glumly. Lynette comes up to him and sits down. Lynette: "Hey! Don't look so glum. You're gonna get a hit."Tom: "It's not that. This is my hating Tim Doogan look." (in an announcer's voice) "Oh, Doogan connects. Look at the job-stealing bastard run. Doogan is really showing some of the glory-hounding, ass-kissing hustle that he is so well known for."Lynette: "I forgot how much fun you are when you're bitter."Tom: "Oh look, he's stretched for extra bases, just like he stretched for extra territoryscrewing over unsung utility player Tom Scavo."Doogan trips and falls onto the ground.Tom: "Oh, down goes Doogan. Doogan goes down. That's gotta hurt. Oh, Lord Hound is tagged out and now he's gonna have to deal with some tough dirt stains, that Tim Doogan." Lynette: "Tom..."Several of the players roll Doogan over and begin administering CPR.Tom: "Oh, no, look. I'm sure he's just grandstanding."Lynette: "Oh my God."Tom: "Holy crap."He runs out onto the field.CUT TO:Susan's HouseSusan cleans up the dishes from dinner. Julie follows her into the kitchen.Julie: "It's only a pool party. Everyone's gonna be there."Susan: "I said no."Julie: "What are you gonna do? Keep a boy freeze zone around me until I'm eighteen?" Susan: "You can see boys in a couple years, just not that boy."Julie: "Why do you hate Zach?"Susan: "I don't hate Zach. I just think he's sort of crazy."Julie: "Mom, I've heard people call you sort of crazy."Susan: "Well, I'm adorable crazy, and he's rampage crazy."A knock at the door. Susan opens it.Detective Copeland: "Susan Mayer?"Susan: "Yeah."Detective Copeland: "I'm Detective Copeland. I'm investigating the murder of Martha Huber.I need to talk to you about Mike Delfino."Later, Susan and Julie sit on the couch while Detective Copeland puts on a pair of glasses and opens up a small notebook.Detective Copeland: "Do you remember seeing Mr. Delfino on the seventh of last month?" Susan: "Is the seventh important?"Detective Copeland: "Well, we believe it was the night that Martha Huber was murdered. She was last seen at the grocery store around nine and then she didn't show up for her dentist appointment the next morning."Susan: "What day was that?"Detective Copeland: "It was a Sunday."Susan: "Oh. Oh, my God, yes. Yes, yes, I was with Mike that night."Detective Copeland: "You're sure?"Susan: "Yes, I was. It was a big night for us, relationship-wise. It was the first time that we..."Detective Copeland: "The first time you...?"Julie: "Did it. The first time they did it."Susan: "Julie!"Julie: "Well, it was."Susan: "How did you know?"Julie: "I'm not clueless. I found men's boxers in the clothes hamper."Susan: "Oh, don't write that down. Oh, but this is good. You can let Mike go. He's innocent." Detective Copeland: "Well, assuming everything you're telling me is true."Julie: "It's true. The next morning she made pancakes in the shape of little hearts. Seriously. Little hearts."Susan gives her a light slap on the leg.CUT TO:Gabrielle's BedroomGabrielle walks into her bedroom from the bathroom, tying a bathrobe around her. She turns around and gasps. Justin stands in the doorway.Gabrielle: "Justin, what are you doing up here?"Justin: "Uh, I finished the hedges. Is there anything else Mr. Solis wants done?"Gabrielle: "I don't know. He's not here. He had a meeting with his lawyer."Justin: "So, I guess that means we're all alone."Gabrielle: "No, that means I'm all alone. You're leaving."Justin: "I'm not in a hurry. C'mon, maybe we could hang out for a little while."Gabrielle: "I don't think so."Justin: "C'mon, if you just got to know me, you'd see I can be lots of fun. All my friends say so."Gabrielle: "Well, I'm not interested in becoming one of your friends. Get out of my bedroom."Justin: "C'mon, Mrs. Solis, be nice."He grabs her and leans in for a kiss. She slaps him."Justin: "You shouldn't have done that."Gabrielle: "Do you know how easy it would be for me to call my husband and tell him what you just tried to do?"Justin: "Not as easy as it'd be for me to tell him what happened between you and John. I'm sorry, Mrs. Solis, but you're gonna have to be nice to me, at least once."She stares at him in confusion as he walks off.CUT TO:Outside Mike's HouseA police car drops him off and Susan runs to greet him.Susan: "Mike! Mike, are you okay?"Mike: "Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm a little bit embarrassed. Must be the talk of the neighborhood." Susan: "No, not really, no. So guess what? I'm your alibi. I told the police that we were together the night that Mrs. Huber was killed and that I could never forget that night." Mike: "So you don't think I killed Mrs. Huber?"Susan: "No, no, of course not. I could never think you killed anybody, even I wasn't your alibi, which I am."Mike: "Okay, I'm, um, I'm gonna go take a shower. Jail is kinda gross. I'll call you later, okay?"Susan: "Sure. When?"Mike: "Later, I've just got some stuff I've got to take care of, okay?"Susan: "Okay."CUT TO:John and Justin's ApartmentJohn opens his door. Bree is standing there.John: "Mrs. Van De Kamp."Bree: "Hello, John. I'm sorry to drop by on you, unannounced. Do you have a moment?" John: "Sure. So, what can I do for you?"Bree: "Well, I'll tell you. My daughter is planning on giving you her virginity and I would consider it a personal favor if you wouldn't take it."CUT TO:Lynette's PlaceTom arrives home.Tom: "Hey."Lynette: "Hi. So, what's the word on Tim?"Tom: "He came through the triple bypass with flying colors."Lynette: "Thank god."Tom: "Course, it's not all coming up roses. He's not going to be able to come back to work for four, four and a half months."Lynette: "Oh."Tom sits down at the table with a beer, clearly very happy.Lynette: "What?"Tom: "The company still needs to expand, so I figure they need a fit, heart-smart guy like me to step up, take the ball."Lynette: "You're going after Tim Doogan's promotion?"Tom: "No. I already got it. You should've seen me. I walked straight into Peterson's office and I told him he would be a fool to hold Doogan's promotion."Lynette: "You called your boss a fool?"Tom: "I did. That was risky in retrospect, but you know what? Still, he gave me the job. Look at me. It's me, I'm the man, I got the whole west coast."Lynette: "Oh my -- what? What? The whole west coast? I thought you were going after an in-house position."Tom: "No, no, no. I'm setting up new offices from Seattle to L.A. I, I told you that." Lynette: "No. No, you didn't."Tom: "Okay, so it's gonna be a little bit more travel."Lynette: "More travel? Tom, you're barely here half the time as it is. Now you're going to have -- what, twice the work load?"Tom: "Honey? Please, don't ruin this."Lynette: "I'm sorry, but you should have consulted me."Tom: "I did. You told me to stop being a shrinking violet and to step up."Lynette: "I thought this was an in-house position."Tom: "Okay, I'm going to go shower."Lynette: "Look, wait, wait. I know what this means to you."Tom: "No, you don't. No, you don't. I am forty-one years old. If I don't make vice president now, it's never gonna happen. This is my career. It's, it's important to me."Lynette: "So was mine, but I'm here, aren't I?"Tom: "I'm gonna take the job."He goes upstairs.CUT TO:John and Justin's ApartmentBree and John sit facing each other in the living room.Bree: "She said that you broke up with her because she refused to have sex."John: "Wow. Um, okay, here's the deal. I said that, but it was just an excuse. The truth is, I wasn't that into her."Bree: "Really?"John: "And she was always so proud of never having done it, I figured, hey, this is my way out."Bree: "Well, she feels very passionately about you."John: "Well, don't get me wrong. She's nice, but the truth is, there's someone else." Bree: "Oh, are you going steady?"John: "Not exactly. We were seeing each other pretty regularly but this other lady - girl, she sorta dumped me."Bree: "Oh, I see."John: "Well, look. I'll talk to Danielle, and don't worry, I'll let her down gently."Bree: "Uh, actually, I would prefer if you didn't."John: "Huh?"Bree: "I know my daughter. She's very determined, and unless you're really firm with her, she's going to continue to think that there's hope."John: "Okay. I'll be firm."Bree: "Better still, be brutal."CUT TO:DinerMike enters and finds Mr. Shaw eating a big piece of chocolate cake. He sits down at the booth with Mr. ShawMike: "Decided to indulge your sweet tooth, huh?"Mr. Shaw: "I'll be dead inside a year. I got bigger things to worry about than my waistline. So, who's the woman they think you killed?"Mike: "Martha Huber, local busybody. I thought her murder was random."Mr. Shaw: "Nothing random about her jewelry ending up in your garage. Did you kill her?" Mike: "No. Whoever set me up did a good job, though. The cops are all over me."Mr. Shaw: "You getting close to something?"Mike: "If I'm getting close, I don't see it."Mr. Shaw: "What I'm saying is, people leave trails. One of those trails could lead to Deirdre. Whoever set you up must know that."Mike: "Yeah, maybe. But I won't be much good to you locked up."Mr. Shaw: "I'm rich, Mike. One of the best things about being rich is the security of knowing you can buy your way out of any problem. I'm not taking my money to the grave. I'm gonna use it to save your ass."CUT TO:John and Justin's ApartmentJustin opens the door. Gabrielle is on the other side.Justin: "Mrs. Solis!"Gabrielle: "Hello, Justin."Justin: "What are you doing here?"Gabrielle: "I am here to talk to your roommate."Justin: "John? I didn't think you guys talked anymore."Gabrielle: "Well, now we have something to talk about. You."Justin: "Me?"Gabrielle: "Yes, I'm gonna tell him how you're trying to blackmail me into sleeping with you.I wonder how he'll react."Justin: "Mrs. Solis --"Gabrielle: "Think he'll get violent?"Justin: "You can't talk to John about that."Gabrielle: "Oh, I can, and I will, you little worthless piece of crap."Justin: "Listen, Mrs. Solis. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't want to blackmail you."Gabrielle: "Then why did you?"Justin: "I really needed to sleep with you."Gabrielle: "Why?"Justin: "Because. I think I might be gay."Gabrielle: "Oh."CUT TO:Tom's OfficeThe boys come running in, followed by Lynette.Boys: "Daddy!"Tom: "What's up?"Lynette: "Oh, we went out for burgers and the boys knew you wouldn't be home till after, um, bedtime so we decided to pop in and visit the new V.P."Tom: "Yeah, well, check it out. I finally got an office with a window, huh?"Lynette: "Yep, it's all about the window."Tom: "Hey, guys, hey, who wants chair rides?"Boys: "Me!"Tom: "C'mon, out this way. Here we go."Tom and the boys run into the lounge area and begin playing. Lynette watches them from the other side of the glass.A woman walks into the office and grins at Lynette.Mrs. Peterson: "Checking out the new executive digs?"Lynette: "Oh, you know it."Mrs. Peterson: "Can I tell you a little secret?"Lynette: "Sure."Mrs. Peterson: "Dan wanted to hold the promotion over for Tim Doogan and I'm the one that convinced him to give it to Tom."Lynette: "Really?"Mrs. Peterson: "Uh-huh. Tom is such a workhorse and he wanted it so badly."Lynette: "Yeah, he certainly did."。

My name is Mary Alice Young.我是Mary Alice Young.When you read this morning's paper, you may comeacross an article 当你浏览今天的晨报,可能会读到一篇文章about the unusual day I had last week.关于上个星期我所渡过的不平常的一天.Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life, 通常,我的生活里是没有什么有新闻报道价值的,but that all changed last thursday. 但是上个星期四一切都了.Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.当然,起初,一切看起来都很平常.I made breakfast for my family. 我给一家人做好早餐.I performed my chores. 做家务.I completed my projects. 完成我的手工作品.I ran my errands. 完成我的使命.In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day事实上, 和平时没什么不同--quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.一切都和往常一样,直到一件不寻常的事情的发生.That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet这就是为什么一切令人震惊,当我决定走向走廊的壁橱,and retrieve a revolver that had never been used. 拿起一把从没用过的左轮手枪.My body was discovered by my neighbor mrs. Martha Huber,我的尸体是被我的邻居Martha Huber发现的,who had been startled by a strange popping sound.她被一声奇怪的声音吓了一跳.Her curiosity aroused, 她觉得很好奇,mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced. Huber太太想了一个来不请自来的理由.After some initial hesitation, 在犹豫了一会之后,she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before. 她决定来归还她6个月前从我这里借去搅拌器.It's my neighbor. I think she's been shot. 我的邻居,我觉得她被枪击了.There's blood everywhere. 到处都是血.Yes. You've got to send an ambulance. You've gotto send one right now.是的,赶紧派救护车,叫救护车.And for a moment, 过了一会之后,mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, Huber太太呆呆地站在厨房里,grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy...因为这件事情而感动极度悲伤...But only for a moment. 但是只有那么一会.If there was one thing mrs. Huber was known for, 如果说Huber最大的特点,it was her ability to look on the bright side. 就是她总能把事情往好的方面想.I was laid to rest on a monday. 星期一人们把我安葬了.After the funeral, all the residents of wisteria lane came to pay their respects.葬礼之后,所有住在wisteria lane人都来表示他们对我的怀念和尊敬.And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.就像人们在这种情况下通常会做的,他们送来点吃的.Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken. Lynette Scavo带了炸鸡.Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.Lynette有一个大家庭,大家都喜欢炸鸡.Of course, she didn't cook much while she was moving up the corporate ladder. 当然,当她还是个职业女性的时候,她很少做饭.She didn't have the time.她没有时间.But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant,但是当她的医生告诉她怀孕了的时候,her husband Tom had an idea. 他的丈夫Tom想了个办法.Why not quit your job?为什么不辞职呢?Kids do better with stay-at-home moms. It would be so much less stressful." 妈妈待在家里带出来的孩子会比较好,而且这样压力也比较小.But this was not the case. 但是事实并非如此.In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic,事实上,Lynette的生活变得如此兴奋,she was now forced to get her fried chicken froma fast-food restaurant.她不得不去快餐店买一只炸鸡.Lynette would have appreciated the irony if she stopped to think about it, Lynette 如果仔细想想,可能会明白这是反话,but she couldn't. She didn't have the time. 但是她不能,她没有时间.- Stop it ! - 住手! - But, mom! - 但是,妈妈! No, 不,you are going to behave today.你们今天乖一点.I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood.我不想在大家面前丢脸.And just so you know how serious I am...我是认真的...what's that? 这是什么?Santa's cell phone number. Santa的电话号码r.How'd you get that?你怎么知道的?I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf,我认识个朋友,她的朋友里有人认识一个小魔,and if any of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa,所以,今天如果你们谁捣蛋,我马上打电话给Santa,and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas.我会告诉他,你们圣诞节只要短袜就可以了.You willing to risk that? 想试试么?Okay. Let's get this over with. 好,那么我们把这个收起来.Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block, Gabrielle Solis,住在街区的后面,brought a spicy paella. 带了辣肉菜饭.Since her modeling days in New York, 自从她开始在纽约当模特以来,Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food... 她对食物的品味渐渐提高... and rich men. 还有那些有钱的男人.Carlos, who worked in mergersnd acquisitions, proposed on their third date. 在他们第三次约会的时候跟她求婚.Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes,当Gabrielle看见他眼眶中的泪水时,被感动了,but she soon discovered this happened 但是她很快发现every time Carlos closed the big deal.每当Carlos成功靠近一些大人物时都会这样.Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.Gabrielle喜欢她那些新鲜的肉菜饭.However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.但是她和她丈夫的关系很冷淡.If you talk to Al Mason at this thing,如果今天早上你跟Al Mason交谈,I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace.我希望你能装着很随意的提起我花了多少钱给你买这条项链.He let me know how much he paid for his wife's new convertible.他上次告诉我他为他妻子的新造型花了多少. Why don't I just pin the receipt to my chest?我干脆在胸前贴一个价目条好了?Look, just work it into the conversation.看,只要在聊天的时候插入就可以了.There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos. 我怎么插得进去嘛,Carlos. Why not? 为什么?At the Donoghue party, everyone was talking mutual funds, Donoghue聚会上,每个人都在谈论那些什么共有基金,and you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield.你却说什么你和那些农场里一半以上的美国佬睡过.I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation.我告诉过你了,当时他们在说这些.Hey, people are starting to stare. Can you keep 喂,大家都在看,轻点,好么?your voice down, please?Absolutely. We wouldn't want them to think we're not happy.当然,我可不希望他们认为我们不和.Bree van de Kamp, who lives next door, Bree van de Kamp,住在隔壁,brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. 带了两篮她烤的松饼.Bree was known for her cooking, Bree擅长做饭,and for making her own clothes, 会自己做服,and for doing her own gardening, 会园艺,and for reupholstering her own furniture. 甚至会给她的沙发装椅面.Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood,是的, Bree的很多才能大家都知道,and everyone on Wisteria lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother. 所有住在Wisteria lane的人都认为Bree是个完美的妻子和母亲.Everyone, that is, except her own family.每个人,事实上,除了她的家人. Paul. Zachary.Paul. Zachary. Hello, mrs. Van De Kamp.你好,Van De Kamp太太.Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. Bree,不好意思这么麻烦你.It was no trouble at all. 一点也不麻烦.Now, the basket with the red ribbon is filled with desserts for your guests,这个扎红带子的篮子里装了一些甜点,餐后你可以拿给客人们享用,but the one with the blue ribbon is just for you and Zachary.但是这个扎蓝色带子的篮子里装的东西是给你和Zachary.It's got rolls, muffins, breakfast-type things.有松饼,各种各样的可以装在篮子里的吃的.Thank you. 谢谢.Well, the least I could do is 嗯,至少这是我能做的,make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forwardto in the morning. 这样孩子们明天早上至少能吃顿好的.I know you're out of your minds with grief.我知道你已经悲痛欲绝了. Yes, we are.是的.Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done.当然,吃完东西记得把篮子还给我. Of course. 当然.Susan Mayer, who lives across the street,Susan Mayer,住在街对面, brought macaroni and cheese.带来了通心粉和奶酪.Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni,她的丈夫Carl总是笑她做的通心粉,saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook, 说这是她唯一会做的东西,and she rarely made it well.而且她还做不好.It was too salty the night she and Carl moved into their house. 她和Carl搬来那天晚上做的,太咸.It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Carl's shirt.当她发现Carl的衬衫上有唇印的那天晚上做的通心粉又太松软. She burned it the night carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.carl告诉她要离开她去他的秘书那里的那天晚上,她把通心粉倒了.A year had passed since the divorce. 她已经离婚一年了.Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life, Susan开始觉得生活中有个男人是件美好的事情,even one who would make fun of her cooking. 就算是一个只会嘲弄她的厨艺的男人. Mom... why would someone kill themselves? 妈妈... 为什么有人要自杀? Well... sometimes people are so unhappy,嗯...因为他们太不快乐了,they think that's the only way they can solve theirproblems.他们觉得这是他们解决问题的唯一方法.But mrs. Young always seemed happy.但是,Young太太看起来一直很开心啊. Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside when they're tot ally different on the inside.嗯,是的,有时候有些人在外人面前的表现和实际上是完全不一样的.Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend always smiling and says nice things,哦,你是说爸爸的女朋友总是表面上看起来很好,but deep down, you just know she's a bitch? 但是实际上,她只是个婊子? I don't like that word, Julie. 我不喜欢这个字眼, Julie. But, yeah, that's a great example. 但是,是的,这个例子棒极了. Hey, what's going on? Sorry I'm late. 嗨,怎么了,抱歉我来迟了. Hi, susan. 嗨, susan.Hey. So, what did Carl say when you confronted him? 嗨,那么,当你反对的时候, Carl 怎么说?You'll love this. He said... 你会喜欢这个的,他说... it doesn't mean anything. It was just sex. 这不代表什么,只是性.Ah, yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook.哦是的,这是那些花花公子手册上第一页所写的.Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face, and he said, "you know, Susan, 是的,然后他摆出一脸无辜的表情,说, "你知道的, Susan,most men live lives of quiet desperation."大部分男人都在平静的绝望中过着他们的生活."Please tell me you punched him.请告诉我说你踹了他.6序号英文字幕中文字幕No, I said, "really? And what do most women lead 没有,我说, "是么,那么大部分女人 lives of noisy fulfillment?" 每天所过的吵吵闹闹的日子有是什么呢?" Hmm. Good for you.嗯,说得好.I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch.我不明白,那么多人,干嘛和他的秘书搞在一起? 大概她的早餐做得比我好.It's like my grandmother always said --an erect penis doesn't have a conscience. 就像我祖母说的 -- 男人勃起的时候毫无道德可言. Even the limp ones aren't that ethical. 就算没勃起的时候也是没什么道德的.This is half the reason I joined the NRA. 这是半个我加入NRA的原因. Well, when Rex started going to those medicalconferences,嗯,当Rex开始参加这些医学会议时, I wanted it in the back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home我希望他记得还有个爱他的妻子在家里等他. with a loaded Smith & Wesson. 还有一群孩子. Lynnie, Tom's always away on business. Do you ever worry he might? Lynnie, Tom总是在外面公干,难道你不担心么?Oh, please, the man's gotten me pregnant three times in four years. 哦,拜托,这个男人让我在4年内怀了3次孕. I wish he was having sex with someone else.我希望他去和别人做爱.So, Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman? 那么, Susan,他决定不再见那个女人了么?I don't know.我不知道.I'm sorry, you guys. I just... 我很抱歉,我只是...I just don't know how I'm going to survive this. 我只是不知道该如何渡过这一切.Listen to me.听我说.We all have moments of desperation.我们都有过绝望的时候.But if we can face them head-on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are. 但是当我们勇于面对这些并继续前进,我们就会发现自己是多么坚强. Susan. I was just saying Paul wants us to go overon friday.Susan.我刚说Paul让我们周五过去. He needs us to go through Mary Alice's closetand help pack up her things. 他想让我们帮忙收拾Mary Alice的衣橱和其他的东西.He said he can't face doing it by himself.他说他一个人无法面对这一切. Sure. That's fine. 好的,没有问题. Are you okay? 你还好吧? Yeah.当然.I'm just so angry.我只是有点生气.If Mary Alice was having problems,she should havecome to us.如果Mary Alice有什么困难,应该来找我们.She should have let us help her. 她应该找我们帮忙. What kind of problems could she have had?她到底有什么问题?She was healthy, had a great home, a nice family. 她很健康,有个温暖的家.#NAME? #NAME? #NAME?#NAME?No, if Mary Alice was having some sort of crisis, we'd have known. 不, 如果Mary Alice 遇到什么危机,我们应该知道.She lives 50 feet away, for god's sakes.她就住在50英尺外. Gabby, the woman killed herself. Gabby,她自杀了. Something must have been going on. 一定发生了什么.I wouldn't eat that if I were you. 如果我是你,我一定不会吃. Why?为什么?I made it. Trust me. 这是我做的,相信我.Hey, hey, do you -- do you have a death wish? 嗨,嗨,你有什么遗愿么?No, I just refuse to believe that anybody cans crew up macaroni and cheese.不,我只是不相信有人会做不好通心粉和奶酪. Oh, my god.哦,上帝.How did you -- it tastes like it's burned and undercooked.你怎么----感觉像烧焦了,又像没煮熟. Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go. 嗯,我说过了. Ha ha. Thanks.哈哈,谢谢.I'm Mike Delfino. I just started renting the simms house next door.我是Mike Delfino.我刚开始租SIMM的房子,就在隔壁.Susan Mayer. I live across the street. Susan Mayer. 我住在对街.Oh, yeah, mrs. Huber told me about you.哦,是的,Huber太太跟我提起过你. Said you illustrate children's books. 说你给孩子们的书画插图.Yeah, I'm very big with the under-5 set.是啊,那些给5岁以下孩子们看的. #NAME? #NAME? #NAME?#NAME?So if you ever have a clog... 如果你的水管被堵了... or something.或是其他什么.Now that everybody's seen that I brought something,现在,大家都看到我带来什么了, I should probably just throw this out. 我最好还是扔了它们. Ease up, you little vampire. 放轻松.Lynette, I've been looking all over for you.Lynette,我正到处找你. Are you aware of what your sons are doing?你知道你的儿子们在干嘛么? What are you doing? We are at a wake. 你们在干嘛?我们是来守夜的.When we got here, you said we could go in the pool. 我们来的时候,你说过我们可以在水池里玩的.I said you could go by the pool. 我说你们可以在水池边玩. Do you have your swimsuits on? 你们穿游泳裤了?Yeah, we put them under our clothes before we left. 是的,我们来的时候就穿好了. You three planned this? All right. That's it. Getout! 你们早就计划好了,我明白了,出来!- No! - 不! #NAME?#NAME?I am your mother. You have to do what I say. Come on. 我是你们老妈,要听我的话,快点.We want to swim, and you can't stop us!我们想游泳,你不可以阻止我们! Get out, or I will get in this pool and just grab you. Get out! 出来,否则我就进去抓你们了,出来! Get over here. 过来. Get -- get over here!过来!All right, give me your arm. Get back -- 好,把你的胳膊给我,回去 --Move it! That's right! Get over here! 很好,过来! Paul, we have to leave now. Paul,我们得走了.Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.我很遗憾.Go. 走.Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about myhusband.Lynette没必要这么在意我的丈夫.He had other things on his mind -- 他脑袋里在想别的事情 --things below the surface.一些被掩盖的事情. The morning after my funeral, 我葬礼的第二天早上, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.我的朋友和邻居们又回到了他们从前忙碌的生活.While some did their cooking... 有些人在做饭... and some did their cleaning... 有的人在打扫... and some did their yoga... 有的做瑜珈... others did their homework. 有人在做家庭作业. Hi.嗨.I'm Julie. I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard.我是Julie.我的球不小心踢进你的后院了.Oh, okay. Well, let's go around and get it. 哦,没关系,我们去拿回来. Stay.待在这儿.His wife died a year ago. 他妻子一年前死了.He wanted to stay in L.A., but there were too manymemories.他想待在 L.A.,但是那有太多的回忆.He's renting for tax purposes, but he hopes to buya place real soon.他租了那里,但是想尽快买个房子.I can't believe you went over there. 真不敢相信你跑去那里了.Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake.嗨,那天我看见你们在互相调情. You're obviously into each other. 你们互相吸引. Now that you know he's single, you can ask him out. 现在你知道他是单身,就可以约他出来.Julie, I like mr. Delfino, I do. Julie, 我的确喜欢Delfino先生.I just, uh, I don't even know if I'm ready to start dating yet.我只是,我还不知道自己是否准备好要开始约会了.Oh, you need to get back out there. 哦,你需要从这里走出去.Come on. How long has it been since you've had sex? 去吧,你有多久没做爱了?Are you mad that I asked you that? 我问这个会不会让你生气? No, I'm just trying to remember.不,我只是在想.I don't want to talk to you about my love life anymore. It weirds me out. 我不想和你谈我的感情生活,这很奇怪.I wouldn't have said anything. It's just...我不会说什么了,只是...What? 什么? I heard dad's girlfriend ask if you'd dated anyone since the divorce, 我听说老爸的女朋友问你离婚后有没有什么约会,and dad said he doubted it. 老爸说他很怀疑. And then they both laughed. 然后他们都笑了. #NAME? #NAME? #NAME? #NAME?I brought you a little housewarming gift.我带了点小礼物,欢迎你来这里住. I probably should have brought something by earlier, but...我应该早点来的,但是...actually, you're the first in the neighborhood tostop by. 事实上,你是第一个来拜访我的人.Really?真的么?Susan knews he was lucky. Susan知道她很幸运.An eligible bachelor had moved onto wisteria lane, 一个条件不错的单身汉搬来wisteria lane住,and she was the first to find out, 她是第一个发现的人, but she also knew that good news... 但是她也知道好消息...Travels quickly.传得很快.Edie Britt was the most predatory divorc閑 in a5-block radius.Edie Britt是附近最风骚的离婚女人.10序号英文字幕中文字幕Her conquests were numerous...她的群下之臣无数...varied... 各种各样... and legendary. 简直就像小说.Hi, Susan. I hope I'm not interrupting. 嗨, Susan.希望没有打扰到你们.You must be Mike Delfino. Hi, I'm Edie. Britt.你一定就是Mike Delfino.嗨,我是Edie. Britt.I live over there.我住那边.Welcome to Wisteria lane. 欢迎你来Wisteria lane.Susan had met the enemy, and she was a slut.Susan遇到了敌人,而且还是个荡妇. Thank you. Ha ha. What's this?谢谢,哈哈,这是什么?Sausage putanesca. It's just something I threw together. 一些腊肠之类的东西.我把他们混合了一下.Well, thanks, Edie. Ha ha. That's great. 哦,谢谢, Edie.哈哈,很棒.I'd invite you both in, but I was sort of in the middle of something.我应该邀请你们进来,但是屋子很乱. And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.就这样,对于Mike Delfino的竞争开始了.For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly. 有那么一会儿, Susan 很怀疑她和Edie能否友好竞争.Oh, Mike. I heard you're a plumber? 哦, Mike.听说你是个水管工?But she was reminded that when it came to men... 但是她想起,当男人... do you think you could stop by later tonight andtake a look at my pipes? 今天晚上有没有空帮我看看我家的水管? -Women don't fight fair. #NAME? #NAME? - 当然. Thanks. 谢谢. Bye, Susan. 再见, Susan.You can't order me around like I'm a child.你不要老是把我当成小孩子来命令我. #NAME?#NAME? - No. No, no, no. I'm not going.#NAME?It's business. Tanaka expects everyone to bringtheir wives.这是工作. Tanaka希望每个人都待妻子来.Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grabmy ass.每次在他旁边的时候,他总想摸我的屁股.Ha ha. I made over $200,000 doing business with him last year. 哈哈. 去年,我跟他做了一宗 $200,000的生意.If he wants to grab your ass, you let him.如果她想摸的屁股,那就让她摸吧. Mr. Solis. You scared me.Mr. Solis.你吓到我了.Why is that bush still there? You were supposed to dig it up last week. 这个矮树丛怎么还在这里,上个星期你就应该把他们弄掉了. I didn't have time last week.上个星期我没空.I don't want to hear your excuses. Just take careof it.我不要听你的解释,你只要给我做好就可以了.I really hate the way you talk to me. 我实在很讨厌你跟我说话的态度. And I really hate that I spend $15,000我也很讨厌我花了$15,000on your diamond necklace that you couldn't livewithout,给你买了那条你没有就不能活的钻石项链,but I'm learning to deal with it. 但是我试着搞定了.So can I tell Tanaka we'll be there tomorrow night? 那么我可以告诉Tanaka明晚我们都会去?John. We have bandage stop shelf in the kitchen. John. 厨房的架子上有创口贴.Thanks, mrs. Solis. 谢谢,Solis太太.Fine. I'll go.很好,我走了.But I'm keeping my back pressed against the wallthe entire time.但是我会一整晚都靠在墙上的.See? Now this is what a marriage is all about -- compromise.看到了吧?这就是婚姻---妥协. Is your finger okay?你的手指还好么? Yeah, yeah, it's just a small cut. 哦,是的,只是个小伤口. Let me see.让我看看.Hmm. You know, mrs. Solis,嗯,你知道的,Solis太太,Um, I really like it when we hook up,嗯,当我们交缠的时候会很棒的,but, um, well, you know, I-I got to get my workdone,但是,嗯,我得干活,and I can't afford to lose this job. 我不能失去这份工作. This table is hand-carved. 这张桌子是手工刻的. Carlos had it imported from Italy. Carlos从意大利买回来的. It cost him $23,000.花了他$23,000.You want to do it on the table this time? 你想在这张桌子上做? Absolutely.当然.Why can't we ever have normal soup?我们为什么不能喝普通一点的汤?Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basilpuree.Danielle,罗勒汤没什么不正常的啊.Just once, couldn't we have a soup that people have heard of? 只要一次就好,难到我们不能喝点大家都知道的汤? Like french onion or navy bean. 就像法国洋葱或者是菜豆. First of all, your father can't eat onions. He's deathly allergic. 首先,你们的父亲不能吃洋葱,他对这个极度过敏.And I won't even dignify your navy bean suggestion. 还有,你那个关于菜豆的建议我是不会考虑的.So... how's the osso buco?那么...炖小牛胫怎么样?12序号英文字幕中文字幕It's okay. 可以. It's okay? 可以?Andrew, I spent three hours cooking this meal. Andrew,我花了3个小时准备晚餐. How do you think it makes me feel when you say "it's okay" in that sullen tone? 你觉得如果我听到有人用那种闷闷的口气跟我说"可以"我是什么感觉?Who asked you to spend three hours on dinner?没人让你花3个小时做晚餐? Excuse me?什么?Tim Harper's mom gets home from work, Tim Harper的妈妈下班后才回家, pops open a can of pork and beans, 开一罐猪肉大豆罐头,and boom, they're eating. Everyone's happy.他们就这么吃. 每个人都吃得很开心. You'd rather I serve pork and beans? 你情愿我给你们做大豆或是猪肉? Apologize now. I am begging. 现在给我道歉.I'm saying, do you always have to serve cuisine? 我是说,你干嘛总要弄这些来显示你的厨艺呢?Can't we ever just have food? 难道我们不能就是吃饭而已? Are you doing drugs? 你磕药了么? What? 什么?Change in behavior is one of the warning signs, 怪异的行为是一种信号, and you have been as fresh as paint for the lastsix months.之前半年都很正常.That certainly would explain why you're always locked in the bathroom. 这个就是你总是把自己关在浴室里的原因么. #NAME? #NAME? #NAME?#NAME?Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, allright?妈妈,这儿有问题的人不是我,明白么?You're the one always acting like she's running for mayor of Stepford. 你总是搞得好像你要去竞选Stepford市市长一样. Rex.Rex.Seeing that you're the head of this household, Iwould really appreciate you saying something.你是一家之主,你不应该说点什么么.Pass the salt?把盐给我?Three days after my funeral, 葬礼后的3天,Lynette replaced her grief with a much more usefulemotion -- Lynette调试了自己的心情,不再悲痛 --indignation.而是愤怒.Tom, this is my fifth message, and you still haven't called me back.Tom, 这是我的第五通留言了, 你还不给我回话.Well, you must be having a lot of fun on yourbusiness trip. I can only imagine.我相信你在外面一定玩得很开心吧. 我可以想象.Well, guess what -- the kids and I want to have somefun, too,嗯,猜猜看---我和孩子们也要出去玩玩, so unless you call me back by noon, 除非你中午之前给我回电话,we are getting on a plane and joining you.我们正在飞机上,马上就加入你们. Mom! 妈妈!Not now, honey. Mommy's threatening daddy.等等,宝贝,我正在威胁你爸爸. Mom. No, I -- where are your brothers? 妈妈,不, 我----你兄弟呢? #NAME?#NAME?#NAME?#NAME?Lynette Scavo? Lynette Scavo? Crap.废话.Natalie Klein. I don't believe it. Natalie Klein. 真不敢相信. Lynette. How long has it been? Lynette. 我们多久没见了? Years.几年了.Uh, how are you? How's the firm? 呃,你现在怎样? 公司怎样? Good. Everyone misses you.很好,大家都很想念你.Yeah. We all say if you hadn't quit, 是的,我们总说如果你没有辞职, you'd be running the place by now. 现在一定是你管理大家. Yeah, well...是啊,呃...So... how's domestic life? 那么...家居生活如何呢? Don't you just love being a mom?是不是很爱做妈妈的感觉? And there it was --the question that Lynette always dreaded. 这就是 Lynette最害怕的问题. Well, to be honest...呃,老实说...for those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable, 对于这些提问的人,只有一个答案是令人满意的,so Lynette responded as she always did.所以Lynette就像往常一样回答了这个问题. She lied.她撒了个谎.It's the best job I've ever had. 这是我做过的最棒的工作.You know what I don't get? 你知道什么是我没有得到的么? What?什么?Why you married mr. Solis.你为什么会嫁给 Solis先生. Well... he promised to give me everything I've ever wanted. 呃... 他承诺说给我所有想要的东西. And did he?他做到了么?Yes.是啊.Then why aren't you happy? 那么你为什么不开心?Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.看起来我似乎要错了.So do you love him?那么你爱他么? I do. 当然.Well, then, why are we here? Why are we doing this? 那么,我们在这里干嘛? 为什么我们要这么做? Because I don't want to wake up one morning 因为我不想某天早上醒来的时候with a sudden urge to blow my brains out.会突然想要捶打自己的头. Hey, can I have a drag? 我能要一根么? Absolutely not. 当然不.You are much too young to smoke.你太年轻了,不适合抽烟. Ah. How would you feel about me using your child-support payments 我用给你留的钱来做整形手术 for plastic surgery?你会怎么想?Stop being so nervous. You're just asking him out to dinner. It's no big deal. 别这么紧张. 你不过请他吃晚餐. 这不是什么大事.You're right.说得对.So is that your project for school?这是你学校的作业?You know, when I was in fifth grade, I made the white house out of sugar cubes. 你知道的,我5年纪的时候,用方糖做了一个白房子.Stop stalling and go 别拖拖拉拉的,走吧before mike figures out he can do better. 在mike发现他能找到更好的之前. Tell me again why I fought for custody of you.再说一次我为什么要这么做. You were using me to hurt dad. 打击爸爸. Oh, that's right. 没错. Oh, god. 哦.上帝.0 0 #NAME? #NAME? #NAME?#NAME? - No, not at all. What's up? #NAME?Well, I -- I just, uh, was wondering if, um... 呃,我 -- 我只是,想知道,呃...if there was any chance that you, uh...有没有机会你, 呃... I-I just wanted to ask if... 我-我只想问问你是否... #NAME? #NAME? #NAME?What are you -- 你怎么 --I was making ambrosia, and I made too much, 我做些可口的食物,做了很多, so I thought I'd bring some over to mike.所以拿点过来给 mike.What's going on? 怎么了?Uh, Susan was just going to ask me something. 呃, Susan 说有点事情要问我. I have a clog. 我的水管堵了. 0- 什么? - And you're a plumber, right? #NAME? Yeah.是啊.The clog's in the pipe.我家的水管堵了. Yeah, that's usually where they are. 是啊,总是这样. Well, I've got one. 呃,没错.Oh, okay. Well, uh let me get my tools.等等,我拿点工具. Now? You want to come over now? 现在?你现在过来么? You have company.你有客人. I don't mind.我不介意. Yeah, just give me two minutes.等我两分钟.。

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 1X08Original Airdate (ABC): 28/NOV/2004==========================TRANSCRIPT:==========================SCENE: Focus in on a Bible being opened. Mary Alice begins speaking.MARY ALICE: There is a widely read book that tells us everyone is a sinner. Of course, not everyone who reads this book feels guilt over the bad things that they do.Pull out to see that Bree opened the Bible and is reading from it.MARY ALICE: But Bree Van de Kamp did. In fact, Bree had spent most of her life, feeling guilty.Flashbacks showing the images of what Mary Alice is speaking of.MARY ALICE: As a child, she felt guilty about not getting straight A’s. As a teenager, she felt guilty about letting her boyfriend go to second base. As a newlywed, she felt guilty about taking three weeks to get out her thank you cards she knew the transgressions of her past were nothing compared with the sin she was about to commit.SCENE: The Van de Kamp family is all in the living room. Danielle and Rex are seated while Andrew paces, and Bree looks through the Bible.DANIELLE: Couldn't we just go to the police and tell them it was an accident?REX: This wasn't some simple DUI. Not only was your brother drinking, Andrew left the scene of the crime. That makes it a hit and run.ANDREW: Maybe I could go to Canada, you know, until the statute of limitations is up. DANIELLE: Do you really think mom and dad are going to foot the bill while you go moose hunting for seven years?REX: If Carlos’ mother dies, there is no statute of limitations..DANIELLE: Right. Because then it’s murder.ANDREW: Shut up!DANIELLE: You shut up!ANDREW: How could it be murder, it was an accident!(pause)BREE: We have to get rid of the car. But we can't sell it. The police might find it, and there could be DNA. We take the car to a bad part of town. We'll leave the keys in the ignition and the doors unlocked. If the police don't find it, we'll get the insurance money, and if they do, it wasn't in our possession. Anyone could have hit Mrs. Solis.ANDREW: That sounds good!REX: Bree, are you sure?BREE: Our son could spent the rest of his life in jail. I won't allow that.Bree stands up and puts the Bible away.MARY ALICE: Bree knew what she was about to do was wrong, but like most sinners, she would worry about her guilt tomorrow.BREE: Well everybody should, uh, go wash up. We're having pancakes for breakfast.MARY ALICE: Not since my own suicide had violence intruded upon the serenity of life on Wisteria Lane in such a conspicuous fashion. And needless to say, my friends attacked the problem head on.Lynette, Susan, and Bree are all in the middle of the street, trying to clean off the skid marks on the road. Lynette brought the broom. Susan brought the trash bags. And Bree brought the industrial strength solvent.LYNETTE: Woo. That stuff is strong!BREE: It has to be, I don't want Gabrielle and Carlos coming home to this ugly reminder in front of their house.LYNETTE: So, has anyone been over there?SUSAN: Julie and I went over this morning.BREE: How is Juanita doing?SUSAN: She’s been in a coma ever since she came out of ER. Nobody knows when or even if she'll wake up.LYNETTE: This is awful. Carlos must be just devastated.SUSAN: I hope she wakes soon. Maybe she can tell us who was driving that car.BREE: We can only hope.A red car zips around the corner and speeds past the women.Lynette stands up, shouting after the car.LYNETTE: Slow down, you jerk, this is a residential neighborhood.She throws her sponge at the car and it bounces off of the car's hood.SUSAN: Wow, that’s quite a pitching arm you've got there.LYNETTE: It pisses me off. I've got four kids, you know. I was up all night reading statistics online. One out of every four traffic accidents happens on residential streets. I hope whoever hit Juanita gets put away for life.BREE: don't you think that’s a little bit extreme?LYNETTE: An innocent woman gets hit by a car and the driver just takes off? I don't think it’s extreme.SCENE: Carlos and Gabrielle are in Mama Solis's hospital room. Carlos sits by the bed and Gabrielle checks her nails as she sits on the dresser.GABRIELLE: You should go home and get some rest, eat something. You have a ton of messages from work--Tanaka called; said it was urgent. Carlos, I can stay here with your mother.CARLOS: I need to be here if she wakes up.GABRIELLE: You can't go on like this. You have to take care of yourself.CARLOS: And what if she dies? People slip into comas all the time and never come out. GABRIELLE: Don't say that! We need to stay positive.The door opens and John sticks his head in.JOHN: Mr. and Mrs. Solis?GABRIELLE: John!JOHN: Is it okay if I come in?CARLOS: Of course.JOHN: Mr. Solis, I'm so sorry this happened.CARLOS: It means a lot that you came.They embrace.CARLOS: Look, I think I'm gonna to go down to the chapel and pray. You want to come? GABRIELLE: Um, no, I think I will stay here with mama.JOHN: Is it all right if I come?CARLOS: Of course, we need all the prayers we can get.John leaves the flowers he had brought for Mama Solis on the table by her bed, then leaves with Carlos. Gabrielle is annoyed. A nurse comes in with a bucket of water.NURSE: Mrs. Solis, it’s time for her sponge bath.GABRIELLE: Come again?NURSE: Sometimes family members prefer to administer sponge baths themselves. GABRIELLE: I think I'll pass.SCENE: Mrs. Huber is neatly packing luggage on the kitchen table when her front door opens and Edie comes in.EDIE: Martha. Where’s your purse?MARTHA: Over there, why?Edie walks over to the purse without saying a word and opens it.MARTHA: What are you doing?"EDIE: I am taking back the $40 that you stole out of my purse.MARTHA: Edie!EDIE: We both know you did it, now hand it over!MARTHA: I have taken nothing from your purse, and if you're missing money, I'd ask one of those strange men you parade through here at all hours.She grabs the purse from Edie and walks away.EDIE: I am not going to apologize for having a healthy sex life!MARTHA: Healthy? I'm going to have to burn every sheet you've touched.EDIE: I want my money.MARTHA: And I want those non-fat peach yogurts. They didn't just walk out of that fridge by themselves.EDIE: Well you can deduct it from the $40 that you're going to give me, now!MARTHA: You're my best friend, why would I steal from you?EDIE: It’s no secret that you've been having financial problems. I hear you bitching on the phone to your bank.MARTHA: That’s it! I can put up with your debauchery and your food theft, but I will not tolerate spying. I want you out.EDIE: You don't mean that.MARTHA: Yes I do. I'm leaving tomorrow to visit my sister for a few days. I want you gone by the time I get back.EDIE: I'll do one better. I will leave today.She takes her purse and leaves. Once she's gone, Mrs. Huber reaches into her blouse and removes some money, which she then puts into her purse.SCENE: Lynette is lying on a table while Dr. Chang, an acupuncturist, places needles intoher forehead.LYNETTE: I hope this works. My sleep cycle is totally out of whack. I'm up all night, I'm dozing off during the day.DR. CHANG: Trust me, this will do the trick. In fact, you should be feeling more relaxed already.LYNETTE: You know, you're right.Faintly, from outside of the room, calls and shouts from Lynette's kids can be heard. LYNETTE: Boys, I can hear you out there. Now be quiet. Just sit there and color.DR. CHANG: Now is not a good time to be moving.LYNETTE: Oh, yeah. Sorry.DR. CHANG: Just block everything out, and let it go. Imagine that you're in a forest. There’s a babbling brook nearby, and the wind is just coming through the trees...Parker comes through the door, dragging a plastic tree.PARKER: Mommy.LYNETTE: Parker! I don't know --ow!--what you think that you're doing, but put that back where it belongs!LYNETTE: I'm sorry. You were saying something about wind?DR. CHANG: I was just creating a soothing image.LYNETTE: Oh, for the love of God!She gets off the table and opens up the door to where her boys are waiting.LYNETTE: Knock it off, you little monsters.DR. CHANG: Mrs. Scavo, please lie down. we need to finish this.LYNETTE: Look, I'm on my last nerves, so I'm going to level with you. I've screwed up my entire system by taking my system by taking my kids’ ADD medication. Yeah, that’s right, you heard me. I plan to stop, but right now I need to sleep, and I need more than a few, crappy, needles, so whattya got?DR. CHANG: I'm not licensed to write prescriptions.LYNETTE: I know you're not.The acupuncturist goes to her cabinet and removes a small bag of herbs. She turns to Lynette.DR. CHANG: This will put you right to sleep. It’s a very powerful herbal remedy. Now promise me you're going to use it judiciously?LYNETTE: Sure. Whatever.SCENE: Susan knocks on Mike's screen door.SUSAN: Knock, knock!MIKE: Hey! Come on in!SUSAN: You're a mess.MIKE: Ah, yeah, I'm tearing out these leaky pipes in the upstairs bathroom. Wall to wall rotten wood.SUSAN: Sounds like a job. So, Julie said that you came by before?MIKE: Um.. Yeah. Uh... yeah, I was thinking about driving up to the Girmany vineyard tomorrow for this wine tasting, and, um..SUSAN: What time do you want me to be ready?MIKE: How about six?SUSAN: Six is good.MIKE: All right. I thought maybe afterwards, we could have a little dinner, maybe some dancing.SUSAN: Sounds great. Um, you do know that it’s like a two-hour drive up there. And isn't that kind of late to be coming back?MIKE: I thought if, you know, worse came to worse, we could grab a room...SUSAN: Oh? Like a hotel room?MIKE: Yeah, as a last resort.SUSAN: Of course, of course, yes. So, maybe we should make reservations, you know, just in case.MIKE: Yeah, I found some hotels online. Let me get a printout.She laughs and he goes upstairs. Bongo, who had been off in the corner, comes towards Susan.SUSAN: Hey, Bongo, come here. You want a treat? Hey Mike, where do you keep the dog biscuits?MIKE: I'm sorry, what?SUSAN: Oh, never mind! We'll just find them ourselves. We'll go find them ourselves.She opens up one of Mike's cabinets and, in plain view, are stacks of money and a gun. Susan takes out a couple of stacks of money and looks at them.Mike comes down the stairs.MIKE: I'm sorry Susan. I couldn't hear you. What did you say?SUSAN: Nothing. It’s not important.She quickly puts the money back and closes the cabinet. The phone rings.MIKE: It’s my tile guy. Here, see what looks good.He hands her the printout of hotels and answers the phone.MIKE: Hey Phil. Um, no. No. Tomorrow morning I'm making a lumber run. It’s no good. Uh, no, I'll be gone tomorrow night, too.SUSAN: I could let him in.MIKE: No, that’s okay.SUSAN: No, it’s fine, just give me the key. I'll be around all day.MIKE: All right. Thanks. Phil, I'll give the key to my neighbor. She'll be here to let you in.SCENE: A car drives down the street of an old, worn-out neighborhood.MARYALICE: Like every city, Fairview had a neighborhood that was less than desirable. It was an accepted fact: anyone who lingered there after midnight was usually up to no good. Rex and Bree Van de Kamp were no exception.The car stops and Bree gets out. In a nonchalant manner, she walks around the car and heads towards Rex, who's parked in his own car in a darkened alleyway, with a perfect view of the car Bree had driven.She gets into the car with Rex.REX: You really think this is gonna work?BREE: This is the most impoverished neighborhood in the city. Trust me, somebody will steal the car.REX: How can you be so sure?BREE: Because I have faith in the poor.SCENE: On the television is a home video of Mary Alice wearing a party hat. As the video plays, Paul watches it as he talks.PAUL: She’s so beautiful. I shot this last year on her birthday. How you going to do it?MR. SHAW: I made contact with her at a bar. She thinks I'm a real estate developer. PAUL: Is she going to suffer?MR. SHAW: No. Edie Britt will disappear, and you'll go back to your life.PAUL: Before you do it, do you think you should ask her why she sent this note to my wife? MR. SHAW: You can't think like that, Mr. Young. You can't give in to your curiosity. Curiosity leads to guilt. Guilt leads to talking. You still have questions?Paul sighs and shakes his head no.MR. SHAW: I want to be clear about something. When I walk away with this cash, it’s done. No refunds. No buyer's remorse.PAUL: I get it.MR. SHAW: We won't talk again so I'll ask one more time: are you sure you want this? PAUL: My wife is dead because of Edie Britt. I absolutely want this.He touches her face on the TV screen.SCENE: Rex and Bree sit relaxed in the car, watching the car Bree left behind.REX: You've been awfully quiet.BREE: I had just been...thinking about the kids. They sure grew up quickly, didn't they? REX: They sure did.BREE: I remember telling them when they were babies that they weren't allowed to get any bigger because they were so adorable. And we were so happy.REX: Yeah, well...BREE: They sure didn't turn out like we expected them to.REX: No, they didn't.BREE: We could have been better parents.REX: We weren't that bad.BREE: We still have so much to teach them. For starters, we need to get across to Andrew the enormity of what he’s done.REX: I don't - I suppose we could punish them.BREE: All right, then what’s the appropriate punishment for a child who drives over a woman?REX: I...I don't know.BREE: You know, no matter how the kids turn out, I still love them.REX: Of course, you do.BREE: But I'll never forgive them for growing up so quickly.REX: Hey, look.A man stands by the car on the street, looks around, then quickly gets into the car and drives away.SCENE: Susan packs as she talks with Julie.SUSAN: And then I opened the cabinet and there was all this money in it. I mean, there waswads of it.JULIE: That’s why you're freaking out? A few stacks of cash? Come on."SUSAN: Well what? Realistically, I've known this guy a few weeks. I mean, he could be a hit man for the mob!JULIE: If you really think that, why are going on a trip with him?SUSAN: I never get out of the house.JULIE: Mom, if you really need something to freak out about, just remember that you're going to spend the night with Mike in a hotel. No man has seen you naked in years, except your doctor.SUSAN: Yeah, and he retired. I try not to take that personally.She puts on a sweater.JULIE: You look old in that.SUSAN: Maybe I am being silly, but going to a hotel with a man is a big deal to me. What if Mike is hiding something?JULIE: Like what?SUSAN: I don't know.A horn honks outside.JULIE: That’s Dad. I gotta go. Now, listen to me. No more freaking out. I need this weekend to go well.SUSAN: Why do you care so much?JULIE: Because I'm gonna have a husband of my own someday, and I really don't want you living with us.SCENE: The four Van de Kamps are visiting Carlos and Gabrielle.BREE: Are the lady fingers okay?GABRIELLE: Oh, they're terrific. We just appreciate you all stopping by.BREE: We just want you to know how much we care.REX: So, have the police come up with any leads?GABRIELLE: Not really. They'll be able to determine the make and model of the car, but without any eye witnesses, no one seems very optimistic.BREE: Well, more importantly, is there any good news about Juanita?GABRIELLE: No change. All we can do is wait and hope for the best.DANIELLE: We put her on our prayer list at church.GABRIELLE: Oh, that’s very sweet, Danielle, thank you.CARLOS: It must really help during times like these--having kids.REX: Yeah, they're a blessing.CARLOS: Children make everything worthwhile. You guys are the future. Legacy. ANDREW: Thanks.CARLOS: After we're all dead, you'll be the only ones left to carry on. Gabrielle and I are about to start a family.REX: Oh, hey, that--that’s great.BREE: Well, when did you decide this?GABRIELLE: It’s a fairly recent development.She stares pointedly at Carlos, who bows his head in slight acknowledgement.BREE: I see.GABRIELLE: We'll talk about this later.CARLOS: Face it. We're shallow people. I mean, can our lives have any meaning if all we ever do is buy stuff?GABRIELLE: That depends on what we buy.CARLOS: I want a child.GABRIELLE: In case you've forgotten, before we got married, we made a deal. No kids. CARLOS: Yeah, well, deals were meant to be renegotiated.GABRIELLE: Well, we're not negotiating my uterus.BREE: We should probably be going.REX: Yeah.BREE: Thank you so much.The Van de Kamps leave the Solis's house and walk back to their house.DANIELLE: That was weird.BREE: I feel awful for Carlos. That talk about children was obviously coming from his grief. ANDREW: Whatever. I'm off the hook.He and Danielle touch fists and walk off. Bree stops walking and stares after him. SCENE: Lynette lies down on the couch and covers herself up with blankets when the doorbell rings.MARY ALICE: A weary Lynette drank her potent tea in hopes of finally finding the sleep that had eluded her. Unfortunately for Lynette, there would be no rest for the weary. LYNETTE: Go to hell.The doorbell rings several more times.LYNETTE: Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell.She stomps to the door and opens it. A stream of boy scouts with a scout mother rush inside. SCOUT MOTHER: Sorry we're late, Kenny Lipman couldn't find his handkerchief. Come on guys!LYNETTE: The scout meeting is today?The boys run all over the house, being noisy, as Lynette stares at them. Later, the boys are separate into groups, with the other scout mother monitoring the boys at the table and Lynette on the floor with her three boys and one other boy. They have books on rope tying in front of them. Lynette leans against the couch, sleeping sitting up.PARKER: Mommy!LYNETTE: What? Oh...right! Okay, boys. This knot is called the bowline. It is a remarkably useful knot. Now, pick up your ropes. Okay. First we cross this end over here, and then we make a loop, and then another loop, and then you sort of pull it through, I'm guessing, and then, ready? Yank it taut.She pulls her rope taut and it's a straight piece of rope.TWIN: Mommy, that doesn't look like the picture.LYNETTE: You're never going to be a sailor, what do you care? Okay everybody, let’s just take a break!She gets up.LYNETTE: Thanks!She walks away and the boys on the floor start hitting each other with the rope. Lynette goes to the bathroom and takes out some pills, which she swallows. She pauses, thenswallows some more.SCENE: Susan is getting a package from the door.PHIL: Okay, it’s all up there. Can I get a signature?SUSAN: Oh, of course.PHIL: Thank you very much.SUSAN: Here you go. Have a nice weekend.PHIL: You too, lady.She closes the door behind him, then heads for the kitchen, where she removes all of the money and the gun. Later, she sits on the living room couch, counting out the money. She hears a car door slam and when she looks out the window, see Phil getting out of his truck. Quickly, she gathers up all of the money and the gun and rushes up the stairs.PHIL: Hey ma'am, you still here? I forgot to give you a receipt! Ma'am?Susan heads into Mike's bathroom and dumps everything into the sink. She climbs on the toilet to look out the window and sees Phil driving away. She lets out a sigh of relief. She then jumps down, falling through the floor, where she stays there, trapped.SUSAN: Hello! I need help, I'm up here, I'm trapped in the floor, hello?!Bongo comes running in to stare at her.SUSAN: If you came in here to judge me, you can just leave!Bongo looks behind him to the door.SUSAN: Wait! Wait! No! Wait, don't, don't go! Wait, I have an idea. Here! Here! Here! Here, grab the towel, Bongo! Come on, grab the other end! Come on, boy! That’s it! Get the other end! Come on, Bongo! Pull the other end! Come on, Bongo! What are you doing? Bongo, over here!He goes over and starts drinking out of the toilet.SUSAN: Bongo? Oh, oh! don't do that! Bongo!She grimaces.SCENE: Gabrielle walks up the path to John's house, past John, himself, who's working on the yard.MARY ALICE: While Susan was hopelessly stuck, Gabrielle was moving to confront the issue of her young lover’s restless conscience.JOHN: Nobody’s home.GABRIELLE: I know, I've been watching. I came to talk to you.She turns slightly and sees that he's stopped working.MARY ALICE: Although she would need to be discrete.GABRIELLE: Keep working! What were you thinking, showing up at the hospital?JOHN: I had to see if she was okay.GABRIELLE: You need to keep a low profile right now.JOHN: Look, you and I are finished. From now on, I'm sticking with Danielle. GABRIELLE: Why would you say that?Gabrielle rings the doorbell again.JOHN: I hate myself for what we did! Okay? I can't sleep at night! I've got to make a clean break.GABRIELLE: We weren't driving the car. We didn't chase Juanita into the street!JOHN: Well, she wouldn't have been there if we weren't having an affair.Gabrielle turns away from the door to face John.GABRIELLE: Oh, for God’s sakes, between you and Carlos! Listen to me carefully, you didn't do anything wrong.She rings the doorbell again.JOHN: That’s not what Father Crowley thinks.GABRIELLE: What?JOHN: I went to confessionGabrielle turns around and walks over to him.GABRIELLE: Have you lost your mind? What did you tell him?She leans over to smell the rose.JOHN: Everything.GABRIELLE: Including in the alley? Behind the truck stop?JOHN: Everything.GABRIELLE: Damn you!She storms off.SCENE: Bongo comes into the bathroom again where Susan is still stuck.SUSAN: What is wrong with you? Lassie would have had a fire truck here by now! Stupid dog. Bongo turns and rushes off.SUSAN: Good boy, Bongo! Run, Bongo, run, go get help!Bongo returns and drops a dead crow in front of her.SUSAN: Ooooeeewwwoooohhh...SCENE: Bree and Andrew are both in the kitchen.BREE: Andrew, um, I know the last few days have been stressful, and, uh, you know, if you ever need to talk to anybody...ANDREW: I know, I know. You and Dad are here for me.BREE: Actually, I was thinking we could arrange for you to talk to a professional. ANDREW: A shrink? You think I'm crazy?BREE: Of course not. It’s just that the accident probably stirred up a lot of emotions, and it would be normal for you to be feeling confused or depressed or ashamed...ANDREW: I'm cool, mom. Really.BREE: Honey, you put a woman into a coma. Surely that arouses some kind of emotion! ANDREW: Yeah, well, it doesn't. Now if you'll excuse me...BREE: No, I won't, not until you tell me.ANDREW: Why do you care?BREE: Because I need to know that you're not a monster!ANDREW: You want to know how I feel?BREE: Yeah.ANDREW: Okay, here it goes. I feel bad that she got hurt. But I also feel bad that my car got dinged because somebody didn't have enough sense to look both ways before she crossed the street. And I also feel bad that now I'm gonna have to ride my bike to school.BREE: Andrew, you almost killed another human being.ANDREW: She’s an old lady. Okay? She’s lived her life. I have my whole life ahead of me, and now it might be screwed up! That’s what you should be worried about!BREE: What I'm worried about, Andrew, is that you don't seem to have a soul. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the police!ANDREW: Because I'm your son. That would make you the monster.He walks out.SCENE: Mike opens up the front door and Bongo comes rushing down the stairs to greet him. MIKE: Hey, buddy!He goes into the kitchen and sees the remains of the bathroom floor scattered on the kitchen. He looks up and sees Susan's legs dangling from the ceiling.MIKE: Susan, is that you?SUSAN: Mike? I'm upstairs. Sorta.MIKE: Hang on, I'll be right up.When he gets to the bathroom, he stops, and leans against the door frame.MIKE: What happened?SUSAN: Well, you see, this bird, um, flew in your bathroom window, and, I, tried to save it, but, uh, it died.MIKE: I don't think that’s what happened.SUSAN: I don't think so, either.MIKE: Come on...He lifts her out and puts her to the side.SUSAN: Thank you, oh, you have no idea what that was like...Mike looks in the sink and notices the money and gun Susan left there.MIKE: You went through my cabinets.SUSAN: What? Oh, I can explain.MIKE: Get out of my house.SUSAN: Mike...MIKE: Get out!She leaves.SCENE: Mr. Shaw gets out of his car and goes to the trunk. He opens it. Inside are shovels. He takes out a gun and hides it in the back of his paints, underneath his jacket. Edie pulls up in her car and gets out. Mr. Shaw closes the trunk.EDIE: Hello there!MR. SHAW: Good afternoon.EDIE: Ooh, well isn't this just as pretty as a picture book!MR. SHAW: Well, the plan is to put in a small condo.EDIE: You want to make some money, or you want to pussyfoot around?MR. SHAW: What do you suggest?EDIE: I'm thinking strip mall. I've run some numbers.She pulls out a sheet of the purple stationary with numbers written on it and hands it to him.MR. SHAW: Nice stationary.EDIE: Oh, it’s stolen.MR. SHAW: What do you mean?EDIE: After my house burned down, I was staying with this neighbor, Martha Huber. That is, until the old troll threw me out. Anyway, I'd steal her stuff, she'd steal mine. Circle of life.MR. SHAW: So this paper is hersEDIE: Oh, God, yes.SCENE: Parker plays with the radio, switching stations and turning it louder. The twins bang on pots, The house is a mess, with food and toys everywhere. Lynette comes into the kitchen, talking on the phone.LYNETTE: No, Tom, you can't do this to me. Because, I need you at home. Boys, stop it, I am on the phone. Well, yeah, I realize it’s not your fault that the meeting got postponed, but you promised you'd be back tonight. I, I, I gotta go. The kids are... Yeah, I know... you're sorry, just, will you try to get back as soon as you can? Okay, bye.She hangs up the phone.SCENE: The boys are listening to the radio whilst Lynette does not seem pleased with this at all.LYNETTE: Boys, would you please, please, stop it. Really, really, mommy’s got a headache. Okay? Just, uh...RADIO: ...and drowsy and ready to sleep, let the morning time drop all its petals on me... life I love you, all is groovy...LYNETTE: "Turn that damn thing off.Lynette starts screaming at the boys as everything happens in slow motion. She throws pans on the floor and throws a can through the window. Facing the window, she sees Mary Alice appear. Mary Alice smiles, looks down at her hands, and then hands Lynette a gun. Slowly, Lynette takes the gun, looks at it, and then holds it up to her own head. She closes her eyes.A loud crash wakes up Lynette, who had been sleeping with her head on the kitchen table. She looks at her boys, who are ignoring her, doing their own thing, and she sighs. SCENE: Susan rings Mike's doorbell. He answers the door, unfriendly.MIKE: What?SUSAN: I just came over to say I'm sorry, and I'll pay for all the damage.MIKE: don't worry about it.He starts to close the door.SUSAN: Well, so, in your mind, is the date off?MIKE: Well, you snooped around my house, and went through my stuff. Uh, yeah, in my book, that’s pretty much a deal breaker.Susan opens the screens and enters the house.SUSAN: Hold on a minute, now. I started snooping around because I found all that money by accident. And, and then, I found a gun. Are you a drug dealer or something?MIKE: Is that what you think?SUSAN: Well, I wouldn't know because you never let me in. You know, there’s this whole part of your life that you keep completely walled off.MIKE: I have a gun for protection, I keep cash for emergencies. I'm a good guy, Susan, and you should know that. I'm, I'm not obligated to share every little detail of my life with you. SUSAN: Well, every little detail is one thing. You know, weird creepy secrets, that’s another.MIKE: You know what, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust me.SUSAN: Well, maybe we shouldn't be dating.MIKE: Maybe we shouldn't.。

绝望的主妇1-5季片尾词(中英文)事实上，《主妇》最经典的地方莫过于Mary Alice在片尾的读白，那种平静的语气犀利得诉说着温暖或讽刺的人生哲理，每看一集让人明白一些东西，非常值得细细品味……1-01The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my life. Not quite Gabrielle, not quite. How ironic. To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret treated so causally. I'm so sorry, girls. I never wanted you to burden with this.第二天我的朋友们都来帮我收拾衣服，私人物品还有――我剩下的那些东西。

远不只这些Gabrielle，远不只。

多么讽刺，我拼命努力想要保守的秘密就这样随便的被她们发现了。

对不起，姐妹们。

我绝对不想让你们承受这种负担。

1-02Yes, as I look back at the world I left behind, it's all so clear to me. The beauty that waits to be unveiled, the mysteries that long to be uncovered. But, people so rarely stop to take a look. They just keep moving. It's a shame, really. There's so much to see.是的，当我回头看我身后的世界，它变得如此清晰。

绝望的主妇中英文台词对照-NARRATOR: My name is Mary Alice Young.我是Mary Alice Young。

When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week.come across: 偶然遇到 article: 文章 unusual: 不平常的当你浏览今天的晨报,可能会读到一篇文章关于上个星期我所渡过的不平常的一天。

Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life.normally：通常 newsworthy: 有新闻价值的通常,我的生活里是没有什么有新闻报道价值的。

That all changed last Thursday. change: 改变 . 但是上个星期四一切都改变了。

Of course everything seemed as normal at first.of course: 当然 seem: 好像，仿佛 normal: 平常as normal: 照常 at first: 最初，开始时当然,起初,一切看起来都很平常。

I made my breakfast for my family. 我给一家人做好早餐。

-MARY ALICE: Here we are. Waffles.Waffles: 华夫饼干华夫饼来了。

-NARRATOR: I performed my chores. perform: 完成 chore: (家庭或农庄的)杂务，杂活我做好了做家务。

-NARRATOR: I completed my projects. complete: 完成 project: 设计【这里指美化家居】完成我的手工作品。

Normally, there’s never anything newsworthyabout my life.通常我的生活没有任何新闻价值。

In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.事实上,这天太平常不过了,平静地打理着家里的一切,直至完美。

Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.受好奇心驱使,她想到一个不请自来的理由。

And, for a moment, Mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen,grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.然后,有那么一会儿,胡博太太静静地站在厨房里陷入了深深的悲伤。

Ifthere was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.如果说胡博太太有什么优点,那就是凡事她都往积极的一面去想。

I was laid to rest on a Monday. After the funeral, all theresidents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects.我的葬礼在星期一。

葬礼结束后,紫藤郡的邻居们都去我家表达他们的哀思。

Of course, she didn’t cook much while moving up the corporate ladder.当然,当她还在职场打拼的时候,她很少做饭。

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100:02:29,810 --> 00:02:33,910本字幕由YYeTs人人影视翻译制作更多字幕下载请登陆 200:02:29,810 --> 00:02:33,910■300:03:14,210 --> 00:03:16,210翻译：小坏 vero NANA 桃金娘银400:03:16,410 --> 00:03:18,410校对：桃金娘银时间轴： GGYY leo 桠桠500:03:18,610 --> 00:03:20,510后期： zwzy_1007(胖胖) 剧集总监：桃金娘银600:03:20,710 --> 00:03:21,990绝望的主妇第七季第三集Desperate Housewives S07 E03700:00:01,270 --> 00:00:03,650《绝望主妇》前情提要Previously on Desperate Housewives...800:00:03,650 --> 00:00:06,820苏珊在新工作中做得如鱼得水Susan showed a certain flair for her new job.900:00:07,310 --> 00:00:10,390全是你赚的你挺擅长做这个的嘛There you go. You know, you're getting good at this.1000:00:10,390 --> 00:00:12,250雷尼租下一所房子Renee rented a house.1100:00:12,250 --> 00:00:15,210-这个真是太... -棒了吗- Wow, that is so... - Wonderful?1200:00:15,570 --> 00:00:16,630太近了Close.1300:00:16,630 --> 00:00:18,020有些事我要告诉你There's something I have to tell you.1400:00:18,020 --> 00:00:19,250加布得知真相Gaby learned the truth1500:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,120原来女儿在出生时就被调包了about her daughter being switched at birth.1600:00:22,210 --> 00:00:23,170贝丝Beth!1700:00:23,170 --> 00:00:26,270保罗·杨再次令众人大跌眼镜Paul Young continued to surprise everyone.1800:00:26,270 --> 00:00:28,690想必刚刚大家都见过我妻子了Well, I see you've all met my wife.1900:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,370汤姆回到家中一脸莫名的痛苦And Tom came home with a mysterious affliction.2000:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,220我感觉不太舒服I'm not feeling well.2100:00:35,220 --> 00:00:36,100又不舒服了Again?2200:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,070我躺在沙发上看看电视好了I'm just gonna lie on the couch and watch some TV.2300:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,830汤姆·斯加沃心情低落Tom Scavo was depressed,2400:00:48,980 --> 00:00:52,190他妻子千方百计and his wife had done everything she could2500:00:52,190 --> 00:00:53,710取悦他to cheer him up.2600:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,340为他做他最爱的食物She had made his favorite meals.2700:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,910给他讲最有趣的笑话She had told her funniest jokes.2800:01:05,540 --> 00:01:09,600甚至为他穿上最性感的内衣She'd even worn her sexiest lingerie.2900:01:11,620 --> 00:01:13,840然而一切都无济于事But nothing worked.3000:01:16,250 --> 00:01:20,930最终勒奈特坚持要丈夫去看医生Finally, Lynette insisted her husband go to the doctor.3100:01:23,110 --> 00:01:26,920不幸的是他带回家来的处方Unfortunately, what he came home with was a prescription...3200:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,210却激起轩然大波for trouble.3300:01:29,350 --> 00:01:30,940抗焦虑药Antianxiety medication?3400:01:30,940 --> 00:01:32,750他就给你开这个啊This is what he gave you?3500:01:32,750 --> 00:01:34,790韦勒医生说会有效果Dr. Weiler says it will help. -3600:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,790他才跟你谈了20分钟而已He spent 20 minutes with you.00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:38,040-勒奈特 -我来猜猜看- Lynette. - And let me guess.3800:01:38,040 --> 00:01:38,870他开处方用的笔Did he write this with a pen3900:01:38,870 --> 00:01:40,370就是制药公司赞助的吧that has the drug company's name on it?4000:01:40,370 --> 00:01:43,130我需要这药I need this medicine.4100:01:43,130 --> 00:01:45,980那就吃呗不过我告诉你Then take it, but I gotta tell ya,4200:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,810这些药真是把我吓得不轻those drugs scare the crap out of me.4300:01:47,810 --> 00:01:51,340我总得治吧真是受不了现在这种感觉了I gotta do something. I am so tired of feeling this way.4400:01:51,340 --> 00:01:53,400以前这些难关咬咬牙不也挺过去了吗But you've gone through rough patches before.4500:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,550你不会有事的You could come out of it.4600:01:54,550 --> 00:01:58,600那就坐以待毙这是你的建议吗So wait around to get better? That's your answer?4700:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,940你哪里知道我脑子里有多痛苦You don't know what it's like inside my head!4800:02:00,940 --> 00:02:03,320好了你说得对对不起Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. Hey! Hey!4900:02:04,980 --> 00:02:08,590还记得苏珊吗她过去不是一直头痛吗Remember when Susan kept having all those headaches?5000:02:08,590 --> 00:02:10,550她后来找了一个医生Who was that guy that she went to?5100:02:10,550 --> 00:02:12,440对是罗斯医生Doctor... Dr. Ross.5200:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,220-他能有什么不同 -他注重治本- How is he gonna be any different? - He's holistic.5300:02:15,220 --> 00:02:18,450尽量避免用猛药苏珊很喜欢他He tries to stay away from heavy meds. Susan loved him.5400:02:18,450 --> 00:02:20,690如果他也说我该用这药呢And if he says I should be on this?5500:02:20,690 --> 00:02:22,960那你就有第二专家意见了Then you have a second opinion.5600:02:23,170 --> 00:02:25,600不管他说什么我都没二话Whatever he says, I'll go with it.5700:02:37,170 --> 00:02:39,450我去看罗斯医生了I saw Dr. Ross.5800:02:39,450 --> 00:02:42,250真高兴你去了Oh! I'm so glad.5900:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,460你喜欢他吗Did you like him?6000:02:45,070 --> 00:02:46,290爱死他了Loved him.6100:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,720你说得对And you were right.6200:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,590他不推崇药品He--he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals.6300:02:49,590 --> 00:02:53,120他只开纯天然的草药He only prescribes stuff that's totally herbal and natural.6400:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,200好极了That is fantastic.6500:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,910那他开的什么药So what did he suggest?6600:02:58,690 --> 00:03:00,470医用大麻Medical marijuana.6700:03:02,410 --> 00:03:03,280是的Yes,6800:03:03,710 --> 00:03:07,150汤姆·斯加沃一直在与抑郁对抗Tom Scavo had been battling depression,6900:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,690不过此刻他面临更为严峻的战争but he was now facing a much bigger battle7000:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,690敌方是他的妻子with his wife.7100:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,570幸福Happiness--7200:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,380是人人都想拥有的It's something we all want,7300:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,830所以人人都在追寻and so we search for it.7400:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,820小女孩们吃到巧克力时会觉得很开心Little girls find it in the taste of chocolate.7500:03:42,990 --> 00:03:46,600讲究的男人购置新装后会觉得很满足Well-dressed men discover it at their local mall.7600:03:48,580 --> 00:03:51,160在与漂亮女孩交谈时Teenage boys experience it7700:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,740青涩少年尝到了幸福的滋味when talking to a pretty girl.7800:03:56,310 --> 00:03:59,380而对于主妇们而言And then there are housewives,7900:03:59,380 --> 00:04:01,910再没有比尽一切所能who simply can't be happy until they've learned8000:04:01,910 --> 00:04:03,910对新邻居寻根究底everything they can8100:04:05,850 --> 00:04:08,730更让她们感到幸福了about the newest neighbor on the block.8200:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,810你们好Hello!8300:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,570抱歉打扰了只耽误你一会儿Hi. So sorry to interrupt. This will just take a second.8400:04:15,570 --> 00:04:18,760我们想对你的到来表示正式欢迎We wanted to officially welcome you to the neighborhood.8500:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,390这是我的朋友勒奈特和苏珊This is my friend Lynette and Susan,8600:04:21,390 --> 00:04:23,670我告诉她们关于你的事然后我们and I was telling them about you, and we--8700:04:23,670 --> 00:04:25,980-非得见见你不可 -迫不及待- Just had to meet you. - Immediately.8800:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,680真是太贴心了That's so sweet.8900:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,230你是我家房东太太对吗Oh, you--you're my landlady, right?9000:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,240是的不过我真的希望你把我当作朋友Yes, but I really want you to think of me as a friend.9100:04:33,610 --> 00:04:36,000这些画是用钉子挂在墙上的还是...Are those pictures hung on the wall with nails or--9200:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,680我们想邀请你参加我们每周的扑克游戏Um, we wanted to invite you to our weekly poker game.9300:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,290糟了我不会打牌Shoot. I don't know how to play poker.9400:04:41,290 --> 00:04:43,910别担心我们会教你的Oh, don't worry. We'll teach you.9500:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,670那个榕树有垫盘吗Does that ficus tree have a saucer underneath?9600:04:45,670 --> 00:04:46,940这可是硬木地板Because those are hardwood floors.9700:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,970等你学会打德州扑克的时候And while you're learning all about Texas hold'em,9800:04:48,970 --> 00:04:50,450我们也顺便了解了你we'll learn all about you.9900:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,130听起来很有意思Aw! That sounds fun.10000:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,840好了我们得走了回头见Okay, well, uh, we should be going. We'll see you later.10100:05:01,840 --> 00:05:02,610好的Okay.10200:05:02,610 --> 00:05:04,240-再见 -再见- Bye. - Bye.10300:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,080这些女人想干吗What did those women want?10400:05:11,230 --> 00:05:13,750她们邀请我和她们一起打牌They invited me to play cards with them.10500:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,790她们真是友好But they were just being friendly.10600:05:15,790 --> 00:05:17,020在这条街上On this street,10700:05:17,020 --> 00:05:20,330千万别把好管闲事跟友好混为一谈never confuse being nosy with being friendly.10800:05:20,690 --> 00:05:22,480她们想揭露丑事They were digging for dirt.10900:05:23,660 --> 00:05:24,630那么So...11000:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,980你不愿意我去吗Do you not want me to go?11100:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,770不不你当然得去No, no. You will go.11200:05:29,230 --> 00:05:32,180大可以告诉她们无关紧要的信息Give them all sorts of meaningless information.11300:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,630但愿她们会把你当作朋友And hopefully, they'll start to think of you as a friend.11400:05:35,630 --> 00:05:38,370不过如果你不喜欢她们But... if you don't like them,11500:05:38,690 --> 00:05:41,190为什么还希望我和她们交朋友why do you want me to be friends with them?11600:05:41,730 --> 00:05:44,460总有一天会有用的In time, it will be useful.11700:05:53,500 --> 00:05:57,420-笔呢 -你不先看看内容吗- Where's the pen? - Don't you wanna read it first?11800:05:57,420 --> 00:05:58,740怎么难道你们的护士喝醉了Why? Did a nurse get drunk11900:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,640把它跟其他文件调了包吗and swap it with a different document?12000:06:00,650 --> 00:06:03,260索利斯先生签署这份文件后By signing this, Mr. Solis, you are agreeing12100:06:03,260 --> 00:06:06,060就表示你同意不起诉这家医院not to bring any legal action against this hospital.12200:06:06,060 --> 00:06:07,140你明白吗Do you understand?12300:06:07,270 --> 00:06:09,910而前提是你们将停止寻找另一个家庭And in return, you'll stop searching for the other family.12400:06:09,910 --> 00:06:11,870你们明白吗Do you understand?12500:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,730签好了加布Done. Gaby.12600:06:23,770 --> 00:06:25,640宝贝我们说好了的Babe, we talked about this.12700:06:26,170 --> 00:06:28,500我们不知道那另一个家庭会作何反应We don't know how this other family will react,12800:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,650我们得保护胡安妮塔and we need to protect Juanita.12900:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,880对不起加布丽尔I am sorry, Gabrielle.13000:06:32,990 --> 00:06:35,480我很能体会你现在的心情I can only imagine how you must feel.13100:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,100你永远也不会体会到的You can't begin to imagine how I feel.13200:06:41,730 --> 00:06:44,400只有那个养育着我女儿的女人The only person who could is the woman13300:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,400只有她能体会who has my daughter.13400:06:47,220 --> 00:06:49,440如果签这个能让她免于受这份罪If signing can spare her this pain...13500:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,030那我就签吧then I will do it.13600:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,510我喜欢这个颜色I love it!13700:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,350不知怎么我觉得其实你不喜欢Somehow I get the feeling you don't love it.13800:07:06,350 --> 00:07:08,970好吧我不喜欢它有点Okay, I-I don't love it. It's just so...13900:07:08,970 --> 00:07:09,890太黄了yellow.14000:07:09,890 --> 00:07:12,620相信我效果会很棒的Trust me. This will be great.14100:07:13,090 --> 00:07:14,630而且当大家在房间的时候Besides, when you're in the room,14200:07:14,630 --> 00:07:17,420谁还有空去看墙是什么样子呢nobody's looking at the walls anyway.14300:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,740你还真是很懂得推销黄色Well, you certainly know how to sell yellow.14400:07:22,530 --> 00:07:23,830请原谅Excuse me.14500:07:26,990 --> 00:07:29,200我听说你离婚了I hear you're gettin' divorced.14600:07:29,940 --> 00:07:31,870早上好啊And good morning to you.14700:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,160我也离婚了所以我们俩都需要男人I'm getting divorced, too, so we both need guys.14800:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,630我想咱俩可以去找找乐子I'm thinking we should hang.14900:07:38,630 --> 00:07:40,970我不知道勒奈特告诉你多少我的事Uh, I don't know how much Lynette has told you about me,15000:07:40,970 --> 00:07:43,140不过我真不是个会找乐子的人but I'm really not one for... hanging.15100:07:43,140 --> 00:07:45,650一个女人去酒吧显得多悲哀啊Look, one woman at a bar is just sad.15200:07:45,650 --> 00:07:47,730但两个女人就不同了那是女士狂欢夜But two, and it's girls' night out.15300:07:47,730 --> 00:07:49,030你觉得怎样So what do you say?15400:07:49,030 --> 00:07:51,120想去钓凯子吗You up for a little stud hunting?15500:07:51,150 --> 00:07:54,370多谢你的提议不过我想我不会去That's a lovely offer, but I think I'm gonna pass.15600:07:54,370 --> 00:07:55,690别这样Oh, come on.15700:07:55,690 --> 00:07:57,440我们应该重回战场We gotta get back in the game,15800:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,160尽情狂欢放松一下cut loose, let our hair down.15900:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,670你的头发有放下来过是吧[这里的hair是本义]That hair does come down, doesn't it?16000:08:04,090 --> 00:08:07,080真的雷尼这不是我青睐的找男人的方式Really, Renee, that is just not how I like to meet men.16100:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,050那你还有什么办法能找到男人Well, how else you gonna meet 'em,16200:08:09,050 --> 00:08:10,050坐在家里吗sittin' around your house?16300:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,720你没想到吧You'd be surprised.16400:08:16,990 --> 00:08:18,490你已经有中意的人选了You've met someone already?16500:08:18,490 --> 00:08:19,480也许吧Maybe.16600:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,040美丽而优雅的女人A beautiful, classy woman16700:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,670足不出户就能找到男人who can get a man without leaving the house.16800:08:28,070 --> 00:08:30,360看来咱俩交不成朋友了I don't see us being friends.16900:08:34,250 --> 00:08:35,260我不知道I don't know17000:08:35,260 --> 00:08:39,960怎么样样东西都变得这么脏how everything gets so dirty in here.17100:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,800那是个线头吗Is that a piece of lint?17200:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,200不要Oh, no!17300:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,220我的围裙被吸走了It got my apron!17400:08:52,510 --> 00:08:57,180在我光溜溜之前我最好下线I'd better sign off before I'm completely naked.17500:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,530明天见小伙子们See you tomorrow, boys.17600:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,190我忙着呢I'm busy!17700:09:04,230 --> 00:09:06,620亲爱的我是玛克西恩Honey, it's Maxine!17800:09:10,730 --> 00:09:13,400一个明星诞生了A star is born!17900:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,020你在看吗Did you watch?18000:09:15,020 --> 00:09:17,790可不只是看我为你感到骄傲Oh, not only did I watch, I kvelled.18100:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,220我得承认我有点着迷了Oh! I have to admit, I am sort of getting into it.18200:09:20,220 --> 00:09:22,180一下子就想到了吸尘器那个点子That whole thing with the vacuum just came to me.18300:09:22,180 --> 00:09:25,890伟大的点子都是这样Well, that's how it happens with the great ones. Oops.18400:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,400这是给你的奖金Here's a bonus for you.18500:09:30,050 --> 00:09:31,190这是奖励什么的What's this for?18600:09:31,190 --> 00:09:33,560这是我给每个月点击量最高的姑娘Well, it's a little something I do for18700:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,560准备的的小小心意the girl who gets the most hits in a month.18800:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,930就连史黛西·施特劳斯对你也要甘拜下风You just unseated stacy strauss,18900:09:37,930 --> 00:09:40,900要知道就凭她那屁股做到这点可不容易啊and with the caboose on her, that's not easy.19000:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,590-玛克西恩你对我真好 -亲爱的- Oh, Maxine. You're so good to me. - Oh, honey.19100:09:43,630 --> 00:09:44,910你知道吗Mmm. You know what?19200:09:44,910 --> 00:09:47,600麦克和我终于开始能存下钱了Mike and I are finally starting to save some money.19300:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,030别都存起来给自己买点好东西Well, don't save it all. Buy yourself something nice.19400:09:51,030 --> 00:09:53,570是你应得的顺便问问You deserve it. Oh, by the way,19500:09:53,570 --> 00:09:56,710明天表演什么绝活你想好了没有have you decided what you're gonna do for tomorrow's show?19600:09:56,810 --> 00:09:59,000我准备把湿抹布塞进比基尼热裤里I'm gonna damp mop in bikini briefs.19700:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,250哇你是要让我开心死啊Ooh! Are you trying to make me cry?19800:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,150再见了美人Bye, doll.19900:10:06,810 --> 00:10:08,880这三明治真不错This is a great sandwich.20000:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,200里面是什么What's in it?20100:10:10,290 --> 00:10:11,990也没什么Oh, it's nothing.20200:10:11,990 --> 00:10:15,420就是一点帕马火腿包高僧鱼Just a little parma ham cured by italian monks20300:10:15,420 --> 00:10:17,390加上一些陈年的格鲁耶鲁干酪and some cave-aged gruyere,20400:10:17,390 --> 00:10:19,340当然了芥末屑是我自己做的And of course I make my own fig mustard.20500:10:19,340 --> 00:10:21,320烹饪是我的爱好Cooking is a passion of mine.20600:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,920不过一个人做饭就没那么有意思了Of course, it's not much fun cooking for one,20700:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,020所以我想问这个周末你有空么So, um, if you're free this weekend--20800:10:27,020 --> 00:10:30,400宝贝你快来尝尝这三明治太好吃了Babe, you gotta try this sandwich. It rocks.20900:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,320这是我老板范德坎普太太This is my boss, Mrs. Van de Kamp.21000:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,080这是史蒂芬妮我女朋友This is Stephanie, my girlfriend.21100:10:34,420 --> 00:10:36,330你有女朋友了You have a girlfriend?21200:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,460你当然会有...Of course you have a...21300:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,770一个年轻又漂亮的女朋友了a girlfriend who's young and pretty.21400:10:42,770 --> 00:10:44,100很高兴见到你Nice to meet you.21500:10:44,670 --> 00:10:47,320抱歉布里你刚才想问我什么I'm sorry, Bree. What were you about to ask me?21600:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,860其实也没什么事Oh, it's, uh, wasn't important.21700:10:50,170 --> 00:10:53,160享用三明治吧You enjoy your sandwich.21800:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,620过来这边Inside, over there.21900:11:00,670 --> 00:11:03,220钓凯子行动开始吧Let the stud hunt begin.22000:11:15,450 --> 00:11:17,590快来我们要开始了Come on. Come on. We're gonna get started.22100:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,060你没事吧You okay?22200:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,010没事Oh. Yeah.22300:11:22,110 --> 00:11:22,910没事Yeah.22400:11:23,230 --> 00:11:24,790去打牌吧Let's play cards.22500:11:24,790 --> 00:11:27,030我八岁的时候我爸离开了我妈When I was 8, daddy left mama,22600:11:27,030 --> 00:11:28,350我们母子就相依为命了and we were pretty much alone.22700:11:28,350 --> 00:11:31,220我的大部分朋友要么呆板要么虚伪Most of my friends were either stuffed or plastic.22800:11:31,220 --> 00:11:33,570当然了还有妈妈的男朋友们Of course, there were always mama's boyfriends,22900:11:33,570 --> 00:11:35,140不过还没等我记住他们的名字But as soon as I'd learn their names,23000:11:35,140 --> 00:11:36,050我妈就把他们蹬了Mama would kick them out,23100:11:36,050 --> 00:11:37,980然后浴室里又会出现一把新的牙刷And therd be a new toothbrush in the bathroom.23200:11:39,390 --> 00:11:41,990我是不是说得太多了Uh, l-let me know if I'm sharing too much.23300:11:41,990 --> 00:11:44,130一点也不会No. Not at all.23400:11:44,980 --> 00:11:46,400多倒点白葡萄酒Keep pouring the chardonnay.23500:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,780她的话匣子全开了She's cracking like an egg.23600:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,940好了我加25Okay, quarter ante.23700:11:50,650 --> 00:11:53,370贝丝你和保罗是怎么认识的So, beth, how did you and Paul meet anyway?23800:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,300这事你们听了会觉得无聊的Oh, I don't wanna bore you.23900:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,040我们不会的还要葡萄酒吗We won't be bored. More chardonnay?24000:11:58,040 --> 00:11:58,910好Mm.24100:11:59,470 --> 00:12:03,850在他被审期间我在报纸上看到他的照片Well... I saw his picture in the paper during his trial,24200:12:03,850 --> 00:12:05,870我看着他那双眼睛好像在对我And there was just something about those eyes24300:12:05,870 --> 00:12:07,290诉说着什么that spoke to me.24400:12:08,130 --> 00:12:09,690那你没看标题吗What about the headline?24500:12:09,690 --> 00:12:12,220"谋杀被捕" 这几个字没把你吓住吗"Arrested for murder"-- that didn't speak to you?24600:12:12,220 --> 00:12:14,270我承认这标题让我犹豫了一阵子I'll admit that gave me pause.24700:12:14,270 --> 00:12:16,540但后来我们开始通信But then we started corresponding,24800:12:16,540 --> 00:12:17,590我发现他and I discovered24900:12:17,590 --> 00:12:20,760其实是一个非常优秀的男人What a wonderful man Paul really is.25000:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,290布里别指望明晚去夜总会有所斩获了Bree, let's forget about hittin' the clubs tomorrow night.25100:12:23,290 --> 00:12:25,840看来好男人都在死囚牢里关着呢Clearly, all the best guys are on death row.25200:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,610但是你爱上一个人But, hey, you can't help25300:12:27,610 --> 00:12:29,380是控制不住的对吧who you fall in love with, right?25400:12:29,390 --> 00:12:31,460而且保罗真的很有女人缘[双关也可理解为"杀手"]And paul's a real lady-killer.25500:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,620我们总是隔着有机玻璃说起这个笑话We--we always fogged up the plexiglas with that one.25600:12:38,860 --> 00:12:41,510你们可以拿这个来开玩笑是好事Well, it's good that you can laugh about it.25700:12:41,780 --> 00:12:42,860重要的是The thing is,25800:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,390在我心里我一直清楚他是无辜的In my heart, I always knew he was innocent,25900:12:46,670 --> 00:12:48,150事实证明我是对的And I was right.26000:12:54,010 --> 00:12:55,150他确实是Well, he is.26100:12:56,990 --> 00:12:58,870没错我们打牌吧Yeah, so let's play cards.26200:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,510你在干什么What are you doing?26300:13:13,990 --> 00:13:15,760准备吃药啊Preparing to take my medicine.26400:13:16,340 --> 00:13:18,140我听说吃这种药很可能I've heard that an increase in appetite's26500:13:18,140 --> 00:13:19,270导致胃口大增a possible side effect,26600:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,270所以我在做必要的防范So I'm taking the necessary precautions.26700:13:21,490 --> 00:13:22,620所谓必要的防范Necessary precautions26800:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,010就是吃高热量的奶酪条吗being your own weight in cheese doodles?26900:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,210我以前从来没吸过大麻I never smoked pot before,27000:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,670所以我想有所准备so I wanna be prepared.27100:13:29,900 --> 00:13:30,780那耳机呢Headphones?27200:13:30,780 --> 00:13:31,600平克·弗洛伊德[英国摇滚乐]Pink Floyd.27300:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,090他的歌赞颂了植物草药的可贵Apparently, it complements the medicinal properties27400:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,030这种植物叫Of, uh...27500:13:35,290 --> 00:13:36,890蓝莓黑加仑子Blueberry bliss.27600:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,910看看你Listen to you.27700:13:38,910 --> 00:13:41,060你很享受这过程吧You are loving this.27800:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,640大学时期的书呆子汤姆Tom the college nerd.27900:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,990终于可以抽大麻扮酷了Gets to finally smoke pot and be cool.28000:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,720喂我在大学的时候就很酷啊Hey, I was plenty cool in college.28100:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,500那时我不抽大麻的唯一原因The only reason I didn't smoke back then28200:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,390是因为我参加了《归乡历险记》俱乐部Was because I signed the abstinence pledge28300:13:51,390 --> 00:13:53,100签过禁欲条约With my dungeons & dragons club.28400:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,250你有什么想法不So... what do you say?28500:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,230要不要跟我一起去车库后头Care to join me out back behind the garage28600:14:01,230 --> 00:14:02,940来一口烟抽抽for a little doobage?28700:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,280抽烟"Doobage"?28800:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,750你现在这么叫自己的药That's what you're calling your medicine now?28900:14:06,750 --> 00:14:09,380拜托你态度要端正点Come on. You need to take this seriously.29000:14:09,380 --> 00:14:10,360我很端正啊I-I am.29100:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,180是吗我可从来没有让你Really? 'cause I'm pretty sure I've never asked you 29200:14:14,180 --> 00:14:17,100到车库后头跟我一起分点避孕药吃吧to join me behind the garage to split a midol.29300:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,630勒奈特你说过你会支持我的Lynette, you said you would go with this.29400:14:19,630 --> 00:14:22,500我知道但孩子们会怎么想呢I know, but how is it gonna look to the kids?29500:14:22,500 --> 00:14:23,870我不想让他们看见I don't want them seeing29600:14:23,870 --> 00:14:25,930自己的爸爸恍恍惚惚的样子their dad stoned.29700:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,630你不用担心会被他们看见Oh, you--you don't have to worry about them seeing me stoned.29800:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,900他们永远不会知道的They'll never know.29900:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,200还有这个Hey, the--30000:14:58,160 --> 00:14:58,980好了Okay.30100:15:01,540 --> 00:15:03,060你周六晚上做什么So what do you wanna do saturday night?30200:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,310我是在想Well, I was thinking30300:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,960我们可以去纳奥米厨房That we could go to Chez Naomi.30400:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,650我们的预算是不是只够去鸡肉快餐店呢Isn't our price range more Chez chicken hut?30500:15:11,980 --> 00:15:13,340麦克这可是我们的纪念日Mike, it's our anniversary.30600:15:14,140 --> 00:15:16,050再说我们近来这么努力地工作Besides, we've been working really hard.30700:15:16,050 --> 00:15:16,960该奖励一下自己的We deserve it.30800:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,800好吧那你带个大手包去Okay, but bring your big purse30900:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,200我们把赠送的面包带回来'cause we're taking the dinner rolls home.。