让人忍俊不禁的英语双语笑话合集
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英语笑话带翻译简短的1. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!科学家为什么不相信原子?因为它们构成了一切!2. Why did the chicken go to the seance?To talk to the other side!为什么鸡要去参加降灵会?为了和另一边的人交谈!3. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!你怎么称呼一只没有牙齿的熊?软糖熊!4. How do you organize a space party?You "planet"!你怎样组织太空派对?你"计划"一下!5. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!你会怎样称呼假的意大利面?冒牌意面!6. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人会成为一位成功的政治家?因为他在自己的领域很出色!7. How do you make a tissue dance?You put a little boogie in it!你怎样让纸巾跳舞?你给它加点音乐!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一面墙对另一面墙说了什么?我将在拐角处与你相会!9. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!为什么骷髅不互相打架?因为它们没有勇气!10. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!你怎么捉住一只松鼠?爬上树然后表现得像颗坚果!以上是一些简短的英语笑话,希望能给您带来些许欢乐。
读英文的笑话笑话1:Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2:Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3:I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4:I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5:I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6:Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7:Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8:I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9:I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10:I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11:Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12:What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13:My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15:Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16:Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17:What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18:I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19:I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20:Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22:What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23:Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25:Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26:What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27:Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29:What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30:Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合,希望你能通过阅读它们,享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番!笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松,让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
英语笑话爆笑带翻译英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译(通用5篇)冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。
下面店铺整理了英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译(通用5篇),希望大家喜欢!英语笑话爆笑带翻译篇1河上漂流(中英)A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”一个男人路过旅行社时,看到一个广告栏上面写着“顺着墨累河漂流四天,全部费用只需40美元”。
Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.面对如此低价的诱惑,他大步走进旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍,然后说:“我报名墨累河之游。
”眨眼间,旅行社的店员抽出一根棒球棍,一下就把那个人打昏了。
When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.当那个人醒来之后,发现自己被捆在一个木筏上,正沿着河水往下漂呢。
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
1
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
2
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲:“爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm
still paying for it now."
他的父亲答复说:“儿子,我不知道,因为我现在还在为它付账呢。
”
3
“闺女,香蕉用英语怎么说? ”“banana!”
“苹果呢?” “iPhone!”
“那大苹果呢?” “iPad!”
4
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲:人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙:在二月。
学生甲:为什么呢?学生乙:因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上,老师问杰克:“请回答,世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答:“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问:“为什么是手风琴呢,英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说:“老师,您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上,汤姆的老师问同学们:“当打雷的时候,为什么我们先看到闪电,然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
超爆笑的双语英文笑话笑话是以民间口头创作为主的一种文学形式,是现实生活中深受人们喜爱的文娱语体。
下面是店铺带来的超爆笑的双语英文笑话,欢迎阅读!超爆笑的双语英文笑话篇一sorry to hear that 听到那样真令人难过a foreign visitor touring the great american west came across an indian with his ear pressed to the ground.一位外国游客到美国大西部游览,碰到一个印第安人把耳朵紧贴在地上。
"what are you listening for?" he asked.“你在听什么呢?”他询问道。
"stagecoach pass about half hour ago."“一辆马车半小时前曾经过这里。
”"how can you tell?"“你怎么知道呢?”"broke my neck."“我的脖子被撞断了。
”超爆笑的双语英文笑话篇二Have a Shot! 干一口吧!The Irish doctor said to his patient," For the life of me, Paddy, I can't figure out what's wrong with you. It must be drink."爱尔兰籍的医生对病人说:“派迪,我怎么也想不出你有什么不对劲的地方,一定是酒精在作祟吧。
”"That's all right, doc. I'll come back when you're sober."“没关系,医生,那等你清醒了我再回来!”超爆笑的双语英文笑话篇三A True Patriot一个真正热爱国家的人The airplane was obviously in trouble. One engine was on fire,anther was sputtering, and the machine was slowly, ineluctably losing height.飞机显然出了问题,一个引擎着火,另一个嘎嘎作响,不可避免地,飞机缓慢地失去高度。
爆笑英文笑话带翻译爆笑英文笑话带翻译生活中烦心的琐事总是有的,你会有时不愉快,那你就来看笑话吧,开心一笑,烦心事就会溜走了。
以下是爆笑英文笑话带翻译,欢迎阅览!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的`,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"3.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have aparty.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist:What's your problem?Patient:I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?Patient:Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师:你哪里不舒服?病人:我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.4.Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
学生英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子的笑话多看可以帮助我们提高英文阅读能力的哦,下面一起来看看带翻译的英语笑话,希望你喜欢。
1.Are you kidding me?你豁老子哦?2.Dude.哥佬倌3.Long time no see.死哪儿切了喃?那么久没qio到你了。
4.What?啥子喃?5.Don"t worry。
虚啥子啊虚。
6.What do you want?你要爪子嘛?7.I can not hold no longer.老子遭不住了。
8.Stupid.瓜娃子。
9.She"s my girlfriend;wife.她是我老妞儿。
10.You are wele.莫来头;说这些。
11.That"s awesome.简直巴适的板。
12.I have no idea.晓求不得。
13.A little.就那么滴滴儿。
14.I am sure.我呸死了。
打包票。
15.What happened?啥子情况啥子情况?16.It doesn"t make sense. 球名堂莫得。
17.It"s none of your business.管你娃球事啊?18.What a hell? 浪么子搞起在勒。
19.Are you sure.儿豁??20.Are u out of ur mind?你吃醉了所?21.Rock paper scissors. 石千儿。
22.I dont care.管我屁事啊。
23.Kick your ass. 给你娃儿两脚头哦。
24.Dark black。
黢嘛黑。
25.See you.空了吹。
26.Let"s go.撤飘。
27.Shut up.闹啥子。
28.Asshole.斯娃子29.You wanna piece of me.老子给你打燃火。
30.Enjoy!敞欢。
31.I got no money.老子分儿都不分儿了A man went to see his doctor有一名男子去看他的医生,because he was suffering from a miserable cold.因为他正遭到令人难受的感冒之苦。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话,希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译:鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译:一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
英语经典笑话8篇店铺给大家带来了英语经典笑话,让你开心快乐每一天!英语经典笑话一:1.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。
英语经典笑话二:2.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩:我!我现在要回家了。
英语经典笑话三:3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。
英语经典笑话四:4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?A needle.针。
英语经典笑话五:5.Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子:那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫:开个玩笑!英语经典笑话六:Lawyer and EngineerA lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.一个律师与一个工程师在加勒比海边钓鱼。
让人忍俊不禁的英语双语笑话合集英语的笑话总是那么的幽默而又搞笑,今天就让我们一起来看看吧,希望大家会喜欢。
一、耳朵还在我衣兜里Ivan came home with a bloody nose伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
and his mother asked, "What happened?"他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan.“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。
"I have his ear in my pocket."“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”二、有你和我是候选人The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation."All who want to go to heaven, please rise."Everyone got up except the snorer.After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced,"All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpi——"Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on,but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."牧师非常生气,因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话:传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫,大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢,绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根,它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根,它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说,“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子,会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去,你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话:谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道。
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案:锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意,ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二:Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜,而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说:“因为这个神圣的节日,你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机,他打燃打火机说:“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙,他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说:“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一病人和他的大夫A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house,doing or saying nothing. T o please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not,maybe next time.”一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去,无所事是,为了使老婆高兴,他找到了精神病学专家。
“你就躺在沙发上,我们来谈谈。
”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说,没有的话,下次再讲也行。
”The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour,the doctor woke hirn up and said,"That will be all for today—$100,please. "The patient paid and left.这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上,很快就入睡了。
到了一小时,大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧,请交100元。
”病人付了钱之后就走了,从此,那个人每周三、四来就诊。
每次,他总是一句话也不说,光是睡觉,而且每次都付钱。
第三周,病人来后坐下,然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time,he fell asleep without saying a word,but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in,sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,", marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道,“你想出要说的话了吗?”"Yes,do you need a partner ?"“是的,你需要一个助手吗?”爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二执行指令My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。
让人忍俊不禁的英语双语笑话合集英语是一门广为人知的语言,而笑话则是人类的共同爱好。
那么,将两者结合起来,不难想象会产生怎样令人捧腹的效果。
在这里,小编为大家收集整理了一些经典的英语双语笑话,让我们一起来见识一下~1. Chicken or eggsQ:Which came first, the chicken or the egg?A:The roasted one.中文翻译:谁先来,鸡先来还是蛋先来?答案:烤鸡先来。
这道问答题的答案看似并未回答问题,却让人忍俊不禁。
想必许多人在一时之间也被骗过了呢~2. Time fliesQ:Why did the man put his money in the freezer?A:He wanted to have cold hard cash.中文翻译:为什么这个人要把钱放在冰箱里?答案:他想要冷硬的现金。
这个笑话采用了英语中的双关语,将“冷硬(cold hard)”同“现金(cash)”联系在一起,表达了“容易受到热度、湿度等因素影响的钞票要放在冷箱中保鲜”的寓意。
3. Fat or thinQ:Why did the fat man put a phone on his head?A:Because he wanted to have a light lunch.中文翻译:为什么这个胖子把手机放在头上?答案:因为他想吃点轻的午餐。
这个笑话也采用了英语中的双关语,将“轻的(light)”同“午餐(lunch)”联系在一起,表达了“胖子应该吃轻量的午餐”这一套路。
4. Dog’s lifeQ:What is the dog’s favorite cit y?A:New Yorkie.中文翻译:狗最喜欢的城市是哪个?答案:纽约基(New Yorkie)。
这则笑话用“Yorkie”来代表“York”州或“York”城市,用“New”指“新的”,愉快地创造了一个新名词,寓意纽约也要受到狗喜欢。
让人忍俊不禁的英语双语笑话合集
英语的笑话总是那么的幽默而又搞笑,今天就让我们一起来看看吧,希望大家会喜欢。
一、耳朵还在我衣兜里
Ivan came home with a bloody nose
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
and his mother asked, "What happened?"
他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.“
一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan.
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。
"I have his ear in my pocket."
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”
二、有你和我是候选人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation.
"All who want to go to heaven, please rise."
Everyone got up except the snorer.
After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced,
"All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start ,the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpi——
"Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on,
but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧师非常生气,因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
一个星期天,正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时,牧师决定要好好教育他一下,让他不要再在布道时睡觉。
于是他低声对信徒们说:“想去天堂的人,都请站起来吧。
”
所有的人都站了起来——
当然,除了那个打瞌睡的人。
在低声说过请坐后,牧师高声喊道:“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了,他站了起来。
看到牧师高站在教坛上,正生气的看着他。
这个人说道:“噢,先生,我不知道我们在选什么,
但看上去只有你和我是候选人。
”
三、我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,
小强尼说:“妈妈,今天早上和爸爸在公车上时,
he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
他叫我让座给一位女士。
”
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
妈妈说:“你做得很对呀。
”
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
“但是,妈妈,我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”。