【美剧精讲】绝望的主妇第1季第2集第5课

Desperate Housewives 1绝望主妇1精讲笔记Danielle: Why can't we have a normal soup?Bree: Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree.Danielle: Just once, can we have a soup that people all heard of, like French onion, or navy bean.Bree: First of all, your father can't eat onions. He's deathly allergic. And I won't even dignify your navy bean suggestion. So, how's theosso buco? Andrew: It's okay.Bree: It's okay? Andrew, I spent three hours cooking this meal. How do you think it makes me feel when you say it's okay in that sullen tone? Andrew: Who asked you to spend three hours on dinner?Bree: Excuse me?Andrew: Tim Harper's mom gets home from work, pops open a can of pork and beans, and boom, they're eating. Everyone's happy.Bree: You'd rather I serve pork and beans?Danielle: Apologize now, I am begging you.Andrew: I'm saying, do you always have to serve cuisine? Can't we ever just have food?Bree: Are you doing drugs?Andrew: What?Bree: Change in behavior is one of the warning signs and you have been as fresh as paint for the last six months. That would explain why you'realways locked in the bathroom.Danielle: Trust me, that is not what he is doing.Andrew: Shut up. Mom, I'm not the one have a problem here, right? You're the one who is acting like she's running for mayor of Stepford. Bree: Rex. Seeing that you're the head of this household, I would really appreciate you saying something.Rex: Pass the salt.Mary Alice Young: Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion. Indignation.Lynette: Tom, this is my fifth message and you still haven't called me back. Well, you must be having a lot of fun on your business trip. I can only imagine. Well, guess what, the kids and I want to have some fun, too, so unless you call me back by noon, we are getting on a plane and joining you.Boy: Mum.Lynette: Not now, honey, Mommy's threatening Daddy. No. Where are you brothers?Natalie Kline: Lynette Scavo!Lynette: Crap! Hi, don't believe it!Natalie Kline: Lynette! How long has it been?Lynette: Years! How are you? How's the firm?Natalie Kline: Good. Everyone misses you. We all say that if you hadn'tquit, you'd be running the placeby now. So, how's domestic life? Don't you just love being a mom?Mary Alice Young: And there it was. The question that Lynette always dreaded.Lynette: Well, to be honest...Mary Alice Young: For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable. So Lynette responded as she always did. She lied.Lynette: It's the best job I've ever had.妙语佳句，活学活用1. osso buco: An Italian dish made of veal shanks braised with olive oil, white wine, stock, onions, tomatoes, garlic, anchovies, carrots, celery and lemon peel. Traditionally, osso buco is garnished with gremolata and served accompanied by risotto. In Italian, osso buco means "pierced bone."翻译成中文就是“炖小牛膝”、“焖小牛腿肉”，是带骨头的。

第一季101The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my life. Not quite Gabrielle, not quite. How ironic. To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret treat ed so causally. I'm so sorry, girls. I never wanted you to burden with this.第二天我的朋友们都来帮我收拾衣服，私人物品还有――我剩下的那些东西。

远不只这些Gabrielle，远不只。

多么讽刺，我拼命努力想要保守的秘密就这样随便的被她们发现了。

对不起，姐妹们。

我绝对不想让你们承受这种负担。

102.An odd thing happens when we die. Our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell, and sound become a distant memory, but our sight --ah, our sight expands, and we can suddenly see the world we've left behind so clearly. Of course, most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they only take the time to look.我们死去以后就会有奇怪的事情发生，我们的感觉消失了，味觉、触觉和听觉都成为遥远的回忆，但是我们的视觉，它变得开阔了。

短语意思flowerbed花床，花坛faintly淡淡的，轻轻的performed my chores做家务stirring a paintbrush搅动油漆刷子ran errands处理事情straightening归置,摆正revolver左轮手枪temple太阳穴resembling像，相似popping sounds砰的一声peers inside往里仔细看trembling颤抖stood emotionless呆站在那bearing plateanimatedly意气风发地corporate laddersonogram B超exposed belly露出的肚皮weary疲倦地jostle推挤bicker拌嘴rowdily吵吵闹闹地hectic忙率的，繁忙的stern严厉的elf精灵acts up捣蛋vehemently使劲地，拼命地camera pans镜头转动halterneck dress绕脖子系带装strut down昂首挺胸mergers andacquisitionswelled up顺着脸颊流下paella海鲜饭piping hot滚烫的exasperation不爽的sewing machine缝纫机reupholster翻新frazzled-lookingextends his hands伸手mental eyeballingliterally open-mouthed不可思议地长大嘴巴with disbeliefrectangular长方形的tin foil锡纸watery稀薄无味rubs揉搓takes her place at the在桌子边坐下tablejug咖啡壶philanderer花花公子bang搞erect penis硬起来的鸡鸡half the reason一半的原因shifty心里有鬼的buffet-style自助餐式的spooning拿勺挖取undercooked不熟的，欠火候的rented out租下illustrate做插画Under 5 setEase up轻点vampire吸血鬼splashing溅discarded丢在poolside泳池边上appalled惊骇的wake守灵defiance违抗flieshurry the boys along赶上岸the pathmenacingly威胁地，邪恶地ferociously狠狠地yoga stance瑜伽体位kicked high in the air踢高towards a housbarks叫paces the floor waking来回走动back and forthhalts stroke停写tilts斜indignation愤慨pot-plant盆栽，花盆radius半径，范围racquet球拍priest神父overlapping重叠，异口同声waist腰walks backwards后退走compromise折中，退让tabletop桌面hand-carved手工雕刻basil puree罗勒汤navy bean蚕豆sullen阴郁的，闷闷不乐的cuisine烹饪incredulously不可置信地indignationsfrazzled疲惫的trailsgasp喘息fascinated by thecommotionbalcony阳台blow out呼出stroking his chest戳他的胸口take a drag of her拽出一根烟cigaretteexhales呼出ambrosiasmirks自鸣得意的笑yelp尖叫stuff off堵住trails offminiature微缩模型tucks some hair hebind头发别到脑后her earspeer out探头看gestures打手势booth参观中的火车座change of pace换个生活detergent commerical清洁剂广告lettuce橄榄longed to渴望去ranch lookeddissolution婚姻关系的解除chokewheezing呼哧喘气drained抽干pick镐loosen the concrete松动水泥prop up架着，支hack劈，砍grunt发出呼噜声coax哄，骗flick弹，甩gurgle咯咯笑sottorughy橄榄球touchdowngiggling咯咯笑swell肿胀suburban郊区的spatula铲，刮刀compose使镇静curl卷曲shops short猛地停下valet为顾客停车的服务员banknote钞票totter磕磕绊绊，摇摇晃晃running her hand along摸索头发her hairhastily急忙地crouches down蹲下mollified变软，变平静weebrowsing浏览物品antacid抗酸的pacing来回挪步corridor走廊candles lit烛台drops down一屁股坐在clung ontoprecariousness不稳定inferno无法控制Candles unattended in蜡烛没在烛台上the deninhalationrespective spouses各自的配偶car hood引擎盖phoenix浴火重生的凤凰kerb马路牙子clink碰杯affectionately例句She kneels in front of her flowerbed, and smells a flower.smilling faintlyI performed my choresMarly Alice ,stirring a paintbrush in a can of paiint and painting a garden chairI ran my errans(Mary Alice picking up the dry-cleaning,then retrieve the mail from the mailbox)Mary Alice straightening a photo frames on top of the pianoThat's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet to tetrieve a revolver that She shakily puts a revolver to her temple.Mrs Huber's finger dips into a pool of red sauce(resembling blood)Mrs Huber,who had been startled by a strange popping sound.she peers inside the wiindow and sees Mary Alice's dead body lying on the groundShe stands in the kitchen,lips trembling,fighting tearsMrs,Huber stood motionless in her kitchenLynette talking animatedly in a conference room as she points at a projected screen with charts and She didn't cook much as she was moving up the corportate ladder.he performs a sonogram on Lynette's exposed belly.Lynette pushes a baby carriage with her free hand,looking weary.the younger brother Parker jostle each other as they walk on the sidewalk in front of thecarriage,bickering rowdily with each otherIn fact,Lynette's life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from a fast foodShe kneels in front of them with a stern look on her faceI know someone,,who knows someone, who knows an elfif anyone of you acts up,so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas.All shake their heads vehementlycamera pans across the roadGabby wears a black halter neck dressGabby strutting down a run way.Carlos who worked in mergers and acquisitionsGabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyesGabrielle liked her paella piping hotWe see Rex,hebind her, an expression of exasperation on his face.Bree,sitting at a sewing maching,making clothes.Bree reupholstering her own furniture.We see exasperated Rex,and her children-an annoyed AnDREW and a frazzled-looking DaniellePaul extends his hands to take the baskets from Bree,who moves the baskets out of his reach as he tries Rex,Andrew and Danielle exchange log-suffering glances and mental eyeballingBree walks off with the baskets ,leaving the rest of them stunned, Rex is literally open mouthed with disbeliefSusan holds a flat,rectangular dish covered in tin foilIt was stoo watery the night she found lipstick on karl's shirtSusan starts crying as JULIE rubs her armSusan takes her place at the tableMary Alice sits back down in her seat and puts down the coffee jugBree:on yes,page one of the philanderer's handbookSusan:I mean ,of all people,did he have to bang his secetary?It's like my grandmother always said,an erect penis doesn't have a conscienceThis is half the reason i joined the NBRHe sips his drink,loooking very shifty and suspiciousFood is et out on the table buffet-style.,Susan walks into the room,where Mike is spooning some ofSusan's macaroni and cheese onto his plateIt tastes like it's burnt and undercookedMike:thanks,I'm mike Delfino,I just rented out the Sim's house next doorMikke:oh yeah,Mrs.Huber told me about you ,said you illustrate childeren's booksI'm very big with the under 5 setLynette:(to baby)OW!Ease up,you little vampireThe scavo kids are swimming in the pool,splashing,generally makinig lots of noise, their nice shoes andclothes are discarded at the poolsideShe stops at the poolsideappalled at what she seesWhat are you doing?We are at a wakeThe Scavo kids all float in the water,their arms crossed in defianceThe water flies everywhere as Lynette strugglers out to watchLynette hurries the boys along the path as Paul watches them leaveThe camera moves into the pool,loking up at Paul as he stares menacingly into the watery depthsBree kneels next to the toilet,holding a scrubber,scrubbling the toilet ferociouslyGabrielle, who strikkes a yoga stance on a mat in front of her open door.Day a soccer ball is kickked high in the air towards a houseMike's dog barks,and Mike puts a hand on the dog's neck to calm it downJulie paces the floor walkiing back and forth,thhrowing the soccer ball up and down as she talks. Susan's pen halts stroke.Julie titlts her head to one side.smiling at Susan.who turns back to her drawing)Susan turns to look at Julie,mouth open I indignation.the does it)Susan,holding a pot-plant,hurries along the road and walks up the steps to Mike's houseEdie Britt was the most predatory divorcee in a 5 block radiusCut to :a tennis coach standing behind Edie in her living room.helping her swing a tennis racquet with Edie,sitting on her couch.she looks up at a priest,and pulls him down on top of herSusan:(overlapping Edie)Oh,I'm late for an appointment anyway.Gabby paces the floor,hands on her waist as Carlos packs suitcase for work.Carlos:(smiles as he walks backwards)See? Now his is what a marriage is all about-compromiseruns her hand over the tabletop，This tbale is hand carvedBree:Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil pureeDanielle:Just once,can we have a soup that people have heard of?Like,french onion or navy bean Bree:how do you think it makes me feel when you say it's ok, in that sullen toneAndrew:I'm just saying do you always have to serve cuisine? Can't we ever just have foodBree alances at Rex,then back at andrew incredulouslyLynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion-indignationA frazzled Lynette is at the crowded supermarket with her children.She trails off,noticing the twins are goneA cart comes out of an aiisle behind Lynette and bumps into an elderly lady,who gasps and falls over Sounds of galss breaking are heard as the twins are loudly fascinated by the commotion they're caused.a schoolbus is seen throught the open balcony door,driiving along the roadGabby raise her eyebrows,blows out a mouthful of smoke and leans on John,stroking his chest Gaby takes a drag of her cigaretteSusan:(exhales loudly) how would you feel about me using your child support payrments for plastic Eide:I was making ambrosia,and I made too much so I thought I'd bring some over to Mike Edie smirks at Susan, then shuts the door.Susan lets out a small yelp as she rushes down the porchstepsHow am I gonna stuff upu the sink(trails off as she and Julie turn to notice Julies' miniature trojan horsesitting on the kitchen tablehe looks up at Susan,who tucks some hair behind her earJulie creeps down the stairs to peer out at themSusan gestures apologetically at JulieInterior of the restaurant , where the Van DE kamp families are sitting in a booth as a server has just Bree:I know that you think I'm angry about coming here,but I'm not , I mean the kids wanted a change Rex:I want a divorce.I just can't live in this ,this detergent commercial anymoreBree puts some lettuce leaves on the plate as Mrs.Huber comes up to her.Bree longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal.but sadly for Bree,admitting defeat Lynette is feeding the bay,trying to coax him to eat pureed peaches(sotto),Now whatTom:Oh god presents, wait a minutelemme see(takes a rughy ball out of his bag)Tom:deeper deeper,touch downTom and Lynette,bursting through the doorway to their bedroom,kissing and gigglingLynette:;oh wait,I gotta tell you, I was having trouble with swelling.so the doctor took me off the pill.(Bree looks incredulously at Rex)you're this plastic suburban housewife with here pearls and her spatula..who says things like we owe the Hendersons a dinnerBree:(composes herself..she gets up and takes a vase off the table)these need waterGabby comes out of the front door,all adressed up in an elegant dress,hair curleld on her head Gabby stops shortCarlos:(throws his car keys at the valet) Take care of it.Gabby:Can you make sure he has a drink in his hand all night logn(Tucks a folded banknote in his Gabby pushes the machine onto the grass and begins to mow the lawn.tottering along in her high heels and party dressMrs huber：I think she plans on entertaining into the wee hours. If you know what I meanSusan immediately hurries out,leaving her cart in the middle of the aisle while Mrs.Huber is busy Here some antacid,Have you ever tried this ?Susan is pacing the floor as Julie watches her.curled on the couchSusan walks along the corridor where she picks upu a piece of Edie's discarded clothingSusan goes into the living room,,where she sees lots of candles litSusan drops down onto the couchAnd just like that,the possibility theat Susan had clung onto,the maybe of Mike Delfino was gone despite the precariousness of the situation,Susan took a moment to mourn her lossEide's house is a burning infernoMrs.Huber:(in a lowered voice,,to neighbor)…candles unattended in the den.Lynette:He got smoke inhalation,he's at te hospitalPaul returned to his task,,using the pick to loosen the concrete at the bottom of the poolsystematically,lit by only a small light propped up next to Zach just stands at the side of thepool,watching as we hear the sounds of Paul grunting as he hacks at the concretethe baby flicks a spoonful of peaches onto Lynette's face and shiret,the baby gurgles with laughter,Gabby sighs with relief,running her hand along her hair,Gabby picks a piece of grass from herhair.throwing it oer her shoulder hastilyCarlos comes out of the front door and walks down the walkkway he stops and crouches down to the run his hand along the mowed grass.looking puzzledd,Carlos straightens up and continues walking to the car mollified.How am I gonna stuff upu the sink(trails off as she and Julie turn to notice Julies' miniature trojan horsesitting on the kitchen tableBree：if you think I'm gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms arelabeled 'Hciks and dudes",you're out of you mindRex:starts to choke,wheezing .he gestures at his salad)what's in this?he comes to the pool,where Paul has drained the water,and is digging the rocks and dirt on the bottomwith a pickThey all turn around and walk away.Bree,Gabrielle and Lynette go to their respective spousesSusan toes to lean against a police car hood watching the burning housesudenly ,there he was ,like a phoenix rising from the ashesSusan,Bree,Lynette and Gabby walk down the pathway to the gate,where a car with the trunk open is They clinks their glasses together and drink their champagneLynette runs her hand across Susan's cheek affectionately。

1-1The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my li fe. Not quite Gabrielle, not quite. How ironic. To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret treated so cau sally. I'm so sorry, girls. I never wanted you to burden with this.第二天我的朋友们都来帮我收拾衣服，私人物品还有――我剩下的那些东西。

远不只这些Gabrielle，远不只。

多么讽刺，我拼命努力想要保守的秘密就这样随便的被她们发现了。

对不起，姐妹们。

我绝对不想让你们承受这种负担。

1-2An odd thing happens when we die. Our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell, and sound become a distant memory, but our sight --ah, our sight expands, and we can suddenly see the world we've left behind so clearly. Of course, most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they only take the time to look.我们死去以后就会有奇怪的事情发生，我们的感觉消失了，味觉、触觉和听觉都成为遥远的回忆，但是我们的视觉，它变得开阔了。

我们能突然把被我们扔在身后的这个世界看清楚。

Gabriella who lives down the block brought a spicy paella. Since her modeling days in New York, Gabriella had developed a taste for rich food, and rich man. Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date. Gabriella was touched when tears welled up in his eyes. But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal. Gabriella liked her paella piping hot. However her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.If you talk to AL MASON at this thing, I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace. Why not pin the receipt to my chest? He let me know how much he paid for his wife’s convertible. Look, just work it into the conversation. There is no way I can just work that in, Carlos. Why not? At the Donahue party, everyone was talking mutual fund. You found a way to mentioned you slept with half the Yankee outfield. I’m telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation. Hey, people are starting to stare. Can you keep your voice down, please? Absolutely, we wouldn’t want them to think we are not happy.Bree Van who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. Bree was known for her cooking, and for making her own clothes, and for doing her gardening, and for re-upholstering her own furniture. Yes, Bree’s many talents were known throughout the neighborhood. Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother. Everyone, that is, except her own family.Paul, Zachary. Hello, Mrs. Van. Bree, you shouldn’t have gone to all this trouble. It was no trouble at all. Now the basket with red ribbon is filled with desserts for your guests, but the one with the blue ribbon is just for you and Zachary. It’s got rolls, muffins, breakfast type things. Thanks you. Well, the least thing I could do is make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forward to in the morning. I know you are out of your minds with grief. Yes, we are. Of course, I will need baskets back once you’re done. Of course.Susan, who lived across the street, brought macaroni and cheese. Her husband, Karl, always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely made it well. It was too salt the night she and Karl moved into their house. It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Karl’s shirt. She burned it the night Karl told her he was leaving her for his secretary. A year had passed since the divorce. Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life. Even one who would make fun of her cooking.Mum, why would someone kill themselves? Well, sometimes people are so unhappy, they think that’s the only way to solve their problems. Mrs. Yang always seemed happy. Yeah. Sometimes people pretend to be one way, when they’re totally different on the inside. Oh, you mean like how dad’s girlfriend always smiling and says nice things but we know she’s a bitch. I don’t like that word, Julie. But, yeah, that’s a great example.Sorry, I’m late. Hi Susan. Hey. So, what did Karl say when you confronted him? You’ll love this. He said… it doesn’t mean anything, it was just sex. Ah, yea, page one of the philanderer’s handbook. Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face, and he said, you know Susan, most men live lives of quiet desperation. Please tell me you punched him. No. I said, “really? And what do most women lead lives of noisy fulfillment? Hmm, good for you. I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch. It’s like my grandmother always said, an erect penis doesn’t have a conscience. Even the limp ones aren’t that ethical. This is half the reason I joined the NRA. Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences, I wanted it in the back of his mind that he had a loving life at home, with a loaded Smith& Wesson. Lynnie, Tom’s always away on business. Do you ever worry he might? Oh, please, the man’s gotten mepregnant three times in four years. I wish he was having sex with someone else. So, Susan, is he gonna stop seeing that woman? I don’t know. I’m sorry, you guys, I just…I just don’t know how I’m gonna survive this. listen to me, we all have moments of desperation. If we have face them head-on, that’s when we’d find out how strong we really are.Susan, Susan. I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on Friday. He needs us to go to Mary Alice’s closet and help pack up her things. He says he can’t face doing it by himself. Sure, that’s fine. Are you OK? Yeah, I’m just so angry. If Mary Alice was having problems, she should have come to us. She should’ve let us help her. What problems could she have had? She was healthy, had a great home and a nice family. Her life was… our life. No. if Mary Alice was having a crisis, we’d have known. She lives 50 feet away, for god sake. Gabby, the woman killed herself. Something must’ve been going on.I wouldn’t eat that if I were you. Why? I made it, trust me. Hey, hey, do you have a death wish? No, I just refused to believe that anybody can screw up macaroni and cheese. Oh, my god. How did you… it tastes like it’s burned and overcooked. Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go. Thanks, I’m Mark Delfino. I just started renting the Sim’s house next door. Susan Mayer, I live across the street. Mrs. Huber told me about you, said you illustrate children’s books. Yeah, I’m very big with the under-five set. What do you do? Plumber, so if you ever have a clog… or something… now that everybody’s seen that I brought something, I should probably just throw this out.Ease up, you little vampire. Lynette, I have been looking all over for you. Are you aware of what your sons are doing? Cannonball! Stop! What are you doing? We are at a wake. Oh my god. You said we could go in the pool. I said you could go by the pool. Do you have your swimsuits on? Yeah, we put’em on ourselves before we left. You three planned this? all right. that’s it. get out. No. no? I am your mother. You have to do what I say. Come on. We want to swim and you can’t stop us. Here. No. get out. Think I won’t get in this pool and just grab you? Get out! Get over here. All right, give me your arm. You… that’s right, get over here. Go, go, go, go, go. Move it. out, get out. Paul, we have to leave now. once again, I’m so sorry for your loss. Go.Lynette shouldn’t have been so concerned about my husband. He had other things on his mind. Things below the surface. The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives. While some did their cooking, and some did their cleaning, and some did their yoga, others, did their ‘homework’.Hi, I’m Julie, I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard. Oh, OK, well, let’s go round and get it. stay. His wife died a year ago, he wanted to stay in LA, but here were too many memories. He’s renting for tax purposes, but hopes to buy a place soon. I can’t believe you went over there. Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake. You are obviously into each other. Now you know he’s single, you can ask him out. Julie, I like Mr. Delfino, I do. I just… I don’t know if I’m ready to start dating yet. You need to get back out there. Come on, how long has it been since you’ve had sex? Are you mad that I asked you that? No, I’m trying to remember. I don’t want to talk to you about my love life anymore. It warns me out. I wouldn’t have said anything. It’s just… what. I heard dad’s girlfriend ask if you’d dated anyone since the divorce. And dad said he doubted it. and then they both laughed. Hey, Susan. Hi, Mike, I brought you a little house-warming gift. I should’ve brought something by earlier, but… actually, you’re the first to stop by. Really?Susan knew she was lucky. An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane. Welcome. And she was the first to find out. But she also knew that good news… hello there. Travels quickly. Edie Bree was the most predatory divorce in a five-block radius. Her conquests were numerous.Varied. And legendary.Hi Susan, I hope I’m not interrupting. You must be Mike Delfino. Hi, I’m Edie, Britt. I live over there. Welcome to Wisteria Lane.Susan had met the enemy, and she was a slut.Thank you. What’s this? sausage puttanesca. It’s just something I threw together. Well, thanks, Edie. That’s, great. I’d invite you both in. but I was sort of in the middle of something. I’m late for an appointment. I just wanted to say hi.And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun. For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.Oh, Mike, I heard you’re a plumber.But she was reminded that when it came to men…Do you think you could stop by later and take a look at my pipes?Women don’t fight fare.Sure. Thanks. bye, Susan. You can’t order me around like I am a child. Gabbi. No, no, I’m not going. It’s business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives. Every I’m around that man, he tries to grab my ass. I made over 200,000 doing business with him last year. If he wants to grab your ass, you let him. John. Mr. Solis, you scared me. Why is that bush there? You were supposed to dip it up last week. I didn’t have time. I don’t want to hear your excuses. Just take care of it. I really hate the way you talk to me. And I hate that I spent 15,000 on your diamond necklace which you couldn’t live without. But I’m learning to do with it. so can I tell Tanaka we’ll be there tomorrow? John, we have bandages top shelf in the kitchen. Thanks, Mrs. Solis. Fine, I’ll go. But I’m keeping my back pressed against the wall the entire time.You know what I don’t get? What? Why you married Mr. Solis. Well, he promised to give me everything I’ve ever wanted. And did he? Yes. Then why you aren’t happy? Turns out I wanted all the wrong things. So do you love him? I do. Well, then, why are we here, why are we doing this. because I don’t want to wake up one morning with a sudden urges to blow my brains out. Hey, can I have a drag? Absolutely not. You are much too young to smoke. How would you feel about me using your child-support payments for plastic surgery? Stop being so nervous, you’re just asking him to dinner. No big deal. You are right. so is that your project for school? You know when I was in fifth grade, I made the White House out of sugar cubes. Stop stalling and go. Before Mike figures out he can do better. Tell me again why I fought for custody of you. You were using me hurt dad. Oh, that’s right. oh, god. Hi. Hey, Susan. Are you busy? Not, not at all, what’s up? Well, I… I just, uh, was wondering if there was any chance that you, uh…I just wanted to ask if…Edie. Hey, there, Susan. What are you…I was making ambrosia. And I made too much so I thought I’d bring some over to Mike. What’s going on? Susan was just going to ask me something. I have a clog. Excuse me? And you’re a plumber, right? yeah. The clog’s in the pipe. Yeah, that’s usually where they are. Well, I’ve got one. OK, let me get my tools. Now? you want to come over now? you have company. I don’t mind. Just give me 2 minutes, I’ll be right over. Just stuff the hair down here. I stuffed it. it’s not enough to clog it. here. OK, look. Put in this peanut butter. And this cooking oil. Mom. And these olives. Mom, I’m telling you, it’s not working. Oh, god, that’s him. How am I going to stop up the sink. Well, here’s your problem. Looks like somebody stuffed a bunch of popsicles sticks down here.。

【看电影学英语】《绝望的主妇》第1季：餐桌上的家庭性教育我听人说ZACH YOUNG将在周六开一个泳池派对，他送出了一大堆正式的邀请函，上面都是漂亮的字体。

我真奇怪他怎么没向他们喷美容水。

精美的邀请有什么错啊？妈妈，那是一个泳池派对为什么他不能只是在邻里发发传单啊？因为他天生就不懂得怎样才酷？那么，嗯，你去吗？嗯，也许吧，我是说，LISA和JUSTIN一些家伙觉得能游泳会很有趣。

我们随时可以开溜，如果那个派对的确像我们想象的那么无趣的话。

嗯，LISA是你的那个在肚脐上穿洞的朋友吗？是啊。

你们两个最近经常在一起，不是吗？我想是的。

哦，嗯，ANDREW，我希望你周六晚11点前回家。

11点？妈妈，那连校园活动都算不上。

BREE, 宵禁不会有什么效果的。

你也许能放弃所有作为家长的责任，但我不能这-- 到底是怎么回事？是不是和你留在我房间里的避孕套有关？事实上，是的，们把话说清楚吧，如果你让LISA怀孕了，就要娶她。

ANDREW, 这并不好笑妈妈，相信我-- 这非常好笑，主要是因为那个避孕套不是我的。

你是个混球，知道么？So, get this. Zach Young is throwing a pool party Saturday night and he sent out a bunch of formal invitations complete with fancy lettering.I'm surprised he didn't spritzthem with after shave.What is wrong with nice invitations?Mom, it's a pool party.Why couldn't he've just pass out fliers in the quad?Because he's genetically incapable of being cool?So, uh, you going?Maybe. I mean, um, Lisa and Justin and some of the guys thought it'd be fun to swim. We can always bail if it's aslame as we think it's gonna be.Is Lisa your friend with the pierced navel?Yeah.You've been spending a lot of time together lately, haven't you?I guess.Oh, uh, Andrew, I'm gonna want you home by eleven on Saturday.Eleven? Mom, it's not even a school night.Bree, a curfew isn't gonna do any good.You may be able to abdicate all your parental responsibility but I cannot.What, what's going on here? Would thishave to do with the condom you left in my room?As a matter of fact it does, and just so we're clear, if you get Lisa pregnant, you will marry her.Andrew, this is not funny.Mom, trust me. This is very funny, mostly because the condom wasn't mine.You suck, you know that?英语口语培训/。

绝望主妇第一季第集中英文学习笔记Coca-cola standardization office【ZZ5AB-ZZSYT-ZZ2C-ZZ682T-ZZT18】Desperate Housewives 第一季 04集：Who's That Woman?Written by Tom Spezialy & Marc Cherry.Directed by Jeff Melman.-NARRATOR:Previously on Desperate Housewives…previously: 先前的 desperate: 绝望的 housewife: 家庭主妇前情提要:-NARRATOR:….Susan played with fire….play with fire: 玩火Susan不小心纵火烧掉邻居的房子。

-EDIE: That’s not my cup不是我的量杯-NARRATOR: ….And could get burnedburned: 烧毁的，烧坏的可能会弄伤自己的。

-CARLOS: Go to a spa, go shopping. Find a way to relaxspa: 温泉疗养地 relax: 放松去做个spa或者去购物，想办法让自己放松一下。

-GABRIELLE: Just get here as fast as you can快点来啊。

-NARRATOR: Gabrielle found herself a playmateplaymate: 性伴侣Gabrielle找到了一个性伴侣。

Whilst Lynette couldn’t get her kids to stop playingLynette 实在没办法控制她那两个调皮捣蛋的孩子。

-POLICEMAN: Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?pull over: 靠边停车夫人，你现在知道我为何要你停车吗？-LYNETTE: I have a theorytheory: 原因，理论我有原因的。

My name is Mary Alice Young.In this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week.Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life, but that all changed last Thursday.Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.I made breakfast for my family.I performed my chores.I completed my projects.I ran my errands.In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs.Martha Huber, who'd been startled by a strange popping sound.Her curiosity aroused, Mrs.Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.[Screeams] It's my neeighbor.I think shee's beeeen shot.Theeree's blood eeveerywheeree.Yees, you'vee got to seend an ambulancee.You'vee got to seend onee right now.And, for a moment, Mrs.Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy. But only for a moment.If there was one thing Mrs.Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.I was laid to rest on a Monday.After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects. And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.She didn't cook much while moving up the corporate ladder.She didn't have the time.But when her doctor announced she was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea. "Why not quit yourjob?" "Kids do better with stay-at-home moms.It would be so much less stressful." But this was not the case.In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from the fast-food restaurant.Lynette would've appreciated the irony if she'd thought about it.But she didn't have the time.- Stop it, stop it, stop it.- But, Mom.No.You aree going to beehavee today.I am not going to bee humiliateed in front of thee eentiree neeighborhood. And, just so you know how seerious I am - What's that? - Santa's ceell-phonee numbeer. How did you geet that? I know someeonee who knows someeonee who knows an eelf. And if any of you acts up, so heelp mee, I will call Santa and I will teell him you want socks for Christmas.Aree you willing to risk that? OK.Leet's geet this oveer with.Gabrielle Solis who lives down the block brought a spicy paella.Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men.Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date. Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal. Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.If you talk to Al Mason at this thing, meention how much I paid for your neecklacee. Why not pin thee reeceeipt to my cheest? Hee leet mee know what hee paid for his wifee's conveertiblee.- Just work it in.- Theeree's no way I can.Why not? At thee Donahuee party eeveeryonee was talking mutual funds.You meentioneed you sleept with half thee Yankeeee outfieeld.It camee up in thee conteext of thee conveersation.Peeoplee aree staring.Keeeep your voicee down.Absoluteely.Wee wouldn't want theem to think wee'ree not happy.Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.Bree was known for her cooking.And for making her own clothes.And for doing her own gardening.And for re-upholstering her own furniture.Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood.Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother. Everyone, that is, except her own family.Paul.Zachary.- Heello, Mrs.Van Dee Kamp.- You shouldn't havee.It was no troublee.Thee baskeet with thee reed ribbon is for your gueests.Thee onee with thee bluee ribbon is just for you and Zachary.It's got rolls, muffins, breeakfast typee things.Thank you.Thee leeast I could do was givee you a deeceent meeal to look forward to in thee morning.I know you'ree out of your minds with grieef.Yees, wee aree.I will neeeed thee baskeets back oncee you'ree donee.Of coursee.Susan Mayer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.Her husband, Karl, always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely made it well.It was too salty the night she and Karl moved into their house.It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Karl's shirt.She burned it the night Karl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.A year had passed since the divorce.Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life. Even one who would make fun of her cooking.Mom, why would someeonee kill theemseelvees? Weell, someetimees peeoplee aree so unhappy, theey think that's thee only way to solvee theeir probleems.- Mrs.Young always seeeemeed happy.- Yeeah.Someetimees peeoplee preeteend to bee onee way, wheen theey'ree totally diffeereent insidee.Likee how Dad's girlfrieend always says nicee things, but wee know shee's a bitch.I don't likee that word, Juliee.But, yeeah, that's a greeat eexamplee.[Man] You'ree weelcomee.[Juliee] What's going on? Sorry I'm latee.- Hi, Susan.- Heey.So what did Karl say wheen you confronteed him? You'll lovee this, hee said, "It doeesn't meean anything.It was just seex." Ah, yees, pagee onee of thee philandeereer's handbook.Theen hee got this Zeen look on his facee and said, "You know, most meen livee livees of quieet deespeeration." - Teell mee you puncheed him.- No.I said, "What do most womeen leead? Livees of noisy fulfillmeent?" - Good for you. - Did hee havee to bang his seecreetary? I had that woman to brunch.An eereect peenis doeesn't havee a conscieencee.Eveen thee limp onees areen't that eethical.This is why I joineed thee NRA.Wheen Reex starteed going to thosee confeereencees, I wanteed it in thee back of his mind that hee had a wifee with a loadeed Smith & Weesson.Lynniee, Tom's always away.Do you eeveer worry hee might? Hee's gotteen mee preegnant threeee timees in four yeears.I wish hee was having seex with someeonee eelsee.So, Susan, is hee gonna stop seeeeing that woman? I don't know.I'm sorry, you guys, I just I just don't know how I'm gonna survivee this. Listeen to mee.Wee all havee momeents of deespeeration.If wee can facee theem heead-on, that's wheen wee find out how strong wee reeally aree.[Far off] Susan.Susan.I was just saying Paul wants us to go oveer on Friday.Hee neeeeds us to heelp pack up Mary Alicee's things.Hee can't facee doing it by himseelf.- Suree.That's finee.- Aree you OK? Yeeah.I'm just so angry.If Mary Alicee was having probleems, shee should'vee leet us heelp heer.What probleems could shee havee had? Shee was heealthy, had a greeat homee, a nicee family.Heer lifee was Our lifee.No.If Mary Alicee was having a crisis, wee'd havee known.Shee livees 50 feeeet away, for God sakees.Gabby, thee woman killeed heerseelf.Someething must'vee beeeen going on.- I wouldn't eeat that if I weeree you.- Why? I madee it.Trust mee.Heey, heey, do you havee a deeath wish? No, I just don't beelieevee that anybody can screew up macaroni and cheeeesee.Oh, my God.How did you? It tastees likee it's burnt and undeercookeed.Yeeah, I geet that a lot.Heeree you go.Thanks.I'm Mikee Deelfino.I just starteed reenting thee Sims' housee neext door.Susan Mayeer.I livee across thee streeeet.Mrs.Hubeer told mee about you.Said you illustratee childreen's books.Yeeah, I'm veery big with thee undeer-fivee seet.- [Hee laughs] - What do you do? Plumbeer.So if you eeveer havee a clog or someething.Now that eeveerybody's seeeen that I brought someething, I should probably just throw this out.- [Baby squeeals] - Ow.Easee up, you littlee vampiree.Lyneettee, I'vee beeeen looking all oveer for you.Aree you awaree of what your sons aree doing? Cannonball! - [Boy] Stop! - [Boys cheeeer] What aree you doing? Wee aree at a wakee.- You said wee could go in thee pool.- I said you could go by thee pool.Do you havee your swimsuits on? Yeeah, wee put 'eem on ourseelvees beeforee wee leeft. You threeee planneed this? All right.That's it.Geet out.- No.- No? I am your motheer.You havee to do what I say.Comee on.Wee want to swim and you can't stop us! [Chatteer] [Shee groans] Heeree.- No! - Geet out.Think I won't geet in this pool and just grab you? Geet out! Oh! Geet oveer heeree. All right, givee mee your arm.You Yah! That's right.Geet oveer heeree.Go, go, go, go, go.Movee it.Out.Geet out.Paul, wee havee to leeavee now.Oncee again, I am so sorry for your loss.Go.Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband.He had other things on his mind.Things below the surface.The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.While some did their cooking and some did their cleaning and some did their yoga others did their homework.- Hi - [dog barks] I'm Juliee.I kickeed my ball into your backyard.Oh, OK.Weell, leet's go round and geet it.- Stay.- [Dog growls] His wifee dieed a yeear ago.In LA theeree weeree too many meemoriees.Hee's reenting for tax purposees, but hopees to buy soon.- I can't beelieevee you weent oveer theeree.- I saw you flirting.Now you know hee's singlee, you can ask him out.Juliee, I likee Mr.Deelfino, I do.I just I don't know if I'm reeady to datee yeet.You neeeed to geet back out theeree.How long has it beeeen sincee you'vee had seex? - Aree you mad I askeed you that? - No, I'm trying to reemeembeer.I don't want to talk to you about my lovee lifee.I wouldn't havee said anything.Just What? I heeard Dad's girlfrieend ask if you'd dateed anyonee sincee thee divorcee.And Dad said hee doubteed it.And theen theey both laugheed.[Dog barks] Heey, Susan.Hi, Mikee.I brought you a housee-warming gift.I should'vee brought someething by eearlieer.- Actually, you'ree thee first to stop by.- Reeally? - Susan knew she was lucky.- Weell An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane and she was the first to find out.She also knew that good news - Heello theeree.travels quickly.Edie Britt was the most predatory divorc�e in a five-block radius.Her conquests were numerous.Varied.And legendary.[Prieest] Wh Ah! Hi, Susan.I hopee I'm not inteerrupting.You must bee Mikee Deelfino.Hi, I'm Ediee Britt.I livee oveer theeree.Weelcomee to Wisteeria Lanee.Susan had met the enemy.And she was a slut.Thank you.What's this? Sausagee puttanesca.It's just someething I threew togeetheer.Weell, thanks, Ediee.That's greeat.I'd invitee you in, but I was in thee middlee of someething.- I'm latee for an appointmeent.- I just wanteed to say hi.And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly. Oh, Mikee, I heeard you'ree a plumbeer.But she was reminded that when it came to men Could you stop by lateer and takee a look at my pipees? women don't fight fair.- Suree.Thanks.Byee, Susan.- You can't ordeer mee around.- Gabrieellee.No, no.I'm not going.Tanaka eexpeects eeveeryonee to bring theeir wivees.Eveery timee I'm around that man, hee triees to grab my ass.I madee oveer 200,000 doing busineess with him last yeear.If hee wants to grab your ass, leet him.[Wind chimees] - John.- Ow! Mr.Solis, you scareed mee.Why is that bush theeree? You weeree supposeed to dig it up.- I didn't havee timee.- I don't want eexcusees.Just takee caree of it.I reeally hatee thee way you talk to mee.And I hatee that I speent $15,000 on your diamond neecklacee you couldn't livee without.But I'm leearning to deeal with it.So can I teell Tanaka wee'll bee theeree tomorrow? John, wee havee bandagees top sheelf in thee kitcheen.Thanks, Mrs.Solis.Finee, I'll go.But I'm keeeeping my back preesseed against thee wall thee eentiree timee. Seeee, now this is what a marriagee is all about.Compromisee.- Is your fingeer OK? - Yeeah, it's just a small cut.Leet mee seeee.Mmm.You know, Mrs.Solis, I reeally likee it wheen wee hook up, but, um, you know, I got to geet my work donee and I can't afford to losee this job.This tablee was hand-carveed.Carlos had it importeed from Italy.It cost him $23,000.You want to do it on thee tablee this timee? Absoluteely.[Geentlee classical music] Why can't wee eeveer havee normal soup? Danieellee, theeree is nothing abnormal about basil pur�ee.Oncee, can wee havee a soup peeoplee havee heeard of? - Likee Freench onion or navy beean? - Your fatheer can't eeat onions.Hee's deeathly alleergic.And I won't eeveen dignify your navy beean suggeestion.So, how's thee osso buco? - It's OK.- It's OK? I speent threeee hours cooking this meeal.How do you think it feeeels wheen you say, "It's OK" in that sulleen tonee? Who askeed you to speend threeee hours on dinneer? Excusee mee? Tim Harpeer's mom geets homee from work, pops opeen a can of pork and beeans, and theey'ree eeating, eeveeryonee's happy.- You'd ratheer I seerveed pork and beeans? - Apologizee now, I beeg.I'm saying do you always havee to seervee cuisinee? Can't wee just havee food? - Aree you doing drugs? - What? Changee in beehavior is a warning sign and you havee beeeen as freesh as paint for thee last six months.It eexplains why you'ree always in thee bathroom.- That is not what hee's doing.- Shut up.Mom, I'm not thee onee with thee probleem heeree.You'ree thee onee acting likee shee's running for Mayor of Steepford.Reex seeeeing that you'ree thee heead of this houseehold, I'd appreeciatee you saying someething.Pass thee salt? Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.Indignation.Tom, this is my fifth meessagee and you still haveen't calleed mee back.You must bee having a lot of fun on your busineess trip.I can only imaginee.Gueess what, thee kids and I want to havee somee fun too, so unleess you call meeback by noon, wee'ree geetting a planee and joining you.- Mom.- Not now.Mommy's threeateening Daddy.- Mom.- No, I - Wheeree aree your brotheers? - Noodlees, my favoritee.- Lyneettee Scavo? - [Undeer heer breeath] Crap.Nataliee Kleein.I don't beelieevee it.- Lyneettee.How long has it beeeen? - Yeears.How aree you? How's thee firm? - Good.Eveeryonee missees you.- Yeeah.Wee all say, if you hadn't quit you'd bee running thee placee by now.Yeeah, weell.So how's domeestic lifee? Don't you just lovee beeing a mom? And there it was. The question that Lynette always dreaded.Weell, to bee honeest For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable. So Lynette responded as she always did.She lied.It's thee beest job I'vee eeveer had.[Gasps] - You know what I don't geet? - What? Why you marrieed Mr.Solis.Weell, hee promiseed to givee mee eeveerything I'vee eeveer wanteed.- And did hee? - Yees.Theen why areen't you happy? Turns out I wanteed all thee wrong things.So do you lovee him? I do.So theen why aree wee heeree? Why aree wee doing this? Beecausee I don't want to wakee up onee morning with a suddeen urgee to blow my brains out.- Heey, can I havee a drag? - Absoluteely not.You aree much too young to smokee.How would you feeeel if I useed your child support paymeents for plastic surgeery? Stop beeing neervous.You'ree just asking him to dinneer.No big deeal.You'ree right.So is that your projeect for school? In fifth gradee I madee thee Whitee Housee out of sugar cubees.Stop stalling and go.Beeforee Mikee figurees out hee can do beetteer.Teell mee again why I fought for custody of you.- You weeree using mee to hurt Dad.- Oh, that's right.Oh, God.- Hi.- Heey, Susan.- Aree you busy? - No, not at all.What's up? Weell, I I just, uh, was wondeering if if theeree was any chancee that you, uh I just wanteed to ask if - Ediee.- Heey, theeree, Susan.- What aree you? - I was making ambrosia.And I madee too much so I thought I'd bring somee oveer to Mikee.- What's going on? - Susan was gonna ask mee someething.Uh - I havee a clog.- Excusee mee? - And you'ree a plumbeer, right? - Yeeah.- Thee clog's in thee pipee.- Yeeah, that's usually wheeree theey aree.- Weell, I'vee got onee.- OK.Leet mee geet my tools.Now? You want to comee oveer now? You havee company.I don't mind.Just givee mee two minutees.I'll bee right oveer.[Squeeals quieetly] [Breeathees heeavily] That's it.- Stuff thee hair down.- I stuffeed it.- It's not eenough to clog it.- Heeree.Heeree.Look.Put in this peeanut butteer.And this cooking oil.- Mom - And theesee olivees.- It's not working.- [Doorbeell] Oh, God.That's him.How am I gonna stop up thee sink? Weell, heeree's your probleem.Someebody stuffeed a bunch of Popsiclee sticks down heeree.I'vee told Juliee a million timees not to play in thee kitcheen.Kids, you know.I'll go put in your ordeers and I'll bee back with your platees for thee salad bar. Thank you.Andreew, Danieellee, napkins.Thank you.Theey havee videeo gamees.Can wee go play until our food geets heeree? - This is family timee.I think - Go aheead and play.I know you think I'm angry about coming heeree, but I'm not.Thee kids wanteed a changee of pacee, someething fun.I geet it.Theey'll want someething heealthieer tomorrow, though.- I'm thinking chickeen saltimbocca.- I want a divorcee.I just can't livee in this this deeteergeent commeercial anymoree.Thee salad bar's theeree.Heelp yourseelf.Thank you.Um, I think I'll go geet your salad for you.- Breeee Van Dee Kamp.- Oh, heello, Mrs.Hubeer.Wee didn't geet a chancee to talk at Mary Alicee's wakee.How aree you doing? Bree longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal.But sadly for Bree, admitting defeat was not an option.Greeat.Eveerything is just greeat.I got you thee honeey mustard dreessing.Thee ranch lookeed a littlee bit suspeect.Aree wee gonna talk about what I said? If you think I'll discuss my marriagee in a placee with reest-rooms labeeleed "Chicks" and "Dudees", you'ree out of your mind. - What's in this? - What do you meean? It's salad.- With with onions.- What? - You put onions in my salad.- No I didn't.Oh, wait.[Digging] The sound that awakened my son was something he'd heard only once before. Many years ago when he was quite young.But he recognized it instantly.[Grunts] It was the sound of a family secret.[Grunts] Seven days after my funeral, life on Wisteria Lane finally returned to normal.Which, for some of my friends, was unfortunate.- Mommy, Mommy! - Now what? - Daddy's homee! - [Boys cheeeer] Comee on! Heey, is anybody homee? - Heey! - Heey! I wasn't eexpeecting you for a weeeek.I havee to go back to 'Frisco in thee morning.But I got your call.You soundeed frazzleed.Yeeah.- It's beeeen a littlee rough.- Hi.Yeeah.Peeachees.Did you buy us any preeseents? Oh, God, preeseents.Wait up.Leet mee seeee.- Ohhh! - Yeeah! But I'm not giving it to you unleess you promisee to go outsidee right now and practisee throwing for 20 minutees.- Yeeah! Yeeah! Yeeah! - Punks.Geet out! Who's opeen? Go out.Deeeepeer.Deeeepeer.Touchdown! Oh, my God.Oh, no.You got to bee kidding.I'm eexhausteed.I look teerriblee.I'm coveereed in peeachees.- I'm sorry, baby.I got to havee you.- Weell, is it OK if I just liee heeree? - Absoluteely.- [Shee laughs] - I lovee you.- I lovee you moree Oh, baby.Wait.I was having troublee with sweelling.Thee doctor took mee off thee pill.Put on a condom.- A condom? - Yeeah.What's thee big deeal? Leet's risk it.- Leet's risk it? - Yeeah.- I can't beelieevee you trieed to kill mee.- Yees, weell, I feeeel badly about that.Mrs.Hubeer camee oveer and I got distracteed.It was a mistakee.- Sincee wheen do you makee mistakees? - What doees that meean? It meeans I'm sick of you beeing so damn peerfeect all thee timee.I'm sick of thee bizarree way your hair doeesn't movee.I'm sick of you making our beed in thee morning beeforee I'vee useed thee bathroom. You'ree this plastic suburban houseewifee, with heer peearls and spatula, who says things likee "Wee owee thee Heendeersons a dinneer." Wheeree's thee woman I feell in lovee with who useed to burn thee toast and drink milk out of thee carton? And laugh.I neeeed heer.Not this cold, peerfeect thing you'vee beecomee.Theesee neeeed wateer.Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five minutes, but her husband never knew. Because when Bree finally emerged she was perfect.- I found my eearrings.Wee can go now.- Was John heeree today? Weell, yeeah.Thee lawn hasn't beeeen moweed.I'vee had it.Wee'ree geetting a reeal gardeeneer.- Why? - Aree you deeaf? I just said hee's not doing his job.It's dark.You just can't seeee thee lawn has beeeen moweed.- It hasn't.Feeeel this grass.- I'm not feeeeling thee grass.Leet's just geet going.Comee on, wee'ree latee.- Takee caree of it.- Yees, sir.Theeree's Tanaka.Timee for mee to go and do my dancee.Good luck, sweeeetheeart.You seeee that man just walkeed away? Can you makee suree hee has a drink in his hand all night long? Yees, ma'am.[Squeeals] Mm.- Susan? Susan! - Mrs.Hubeer, how aree you doing? Not too weell, I'm afraid.I'm trying to find someething to soothee my stomach.- It's upseet? - Yeeah.I had thee worst macaroni and cheeeesee at thee wakee.It's beeeen running through mee.And I neeeed to bee at my beest.Ediee Britt's son is speending thee night.Hee's speending thee night? Ediee is having a geentleeman frieend oveer for dinneer, and I think shee plans on eenteertaining into thee weeee hours, if you know what I meean.Oh, heeree's somee antacid.Havee you eeveer trieed this? I can't beelieevee it.This can't bee happeening.Mikee can't likee Ediee beetteer than mee.You don't know what's going on.Maybee theey'ree just having dinneer.You'ree right.Theey'ree doing it.Ediee? Ediee? Heello? Anybody homee? I neeeed to borrow sugar.[# Marvin Gayee: Let's Get It On plays on steereeo] [Ediee] Oh, my God! Oh, yees! Givee it to mee! And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to, the maybe of Mike Delfino, was gone forever.[Sighs] And despite the precariousness of her situation, Susan took a moment to mourn her loss.[Gasps] Oh.[blows] Oh! Oh! [Squeeals] It didn't take Susan long to realize, this was just not her night.[Ediee] Is someebody out theeree? - [Smokee alarm] - Oh, my God! That's smokee! [Sireens] [Two-way radio] Oh, my God.Shee leeft candlees unatteendeed in thee deen.Parameedic said shee was lucky.Shee could'vee beeeen killeed.[Lyneettee] Shee ran out with nothing on.- Shee was having seex with somee guy.- What happeeneed to him? Hee got smokee inhalation.Hee's at thee hospital.Oh.Susan, aree you all right? You look awful.I'm finee.I'm finee.I just, uh, feeeel reeally bad for Ediee.Oh, honeey, don't worry about Ediee.Shee's a strong lady.Absoluteely.Shee'll geet through this.Shee'll find a way to survivee.Wee all do.Comee on.- Wow! What happeeneed? - Mikee! And suddenly there he was.Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.I I thought you weeree uh Wheeree weeree you? I just got back from thee moviees. Ediee had a firee, huh? Yeeah.Yeeah, but shee's finee now.Eveerything's finee now.And just like that, Susan was happy.Life was suddenly full of possibilities.Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.- Hello.- It's mee.- Have anything yet? - No, nothing yeet.But don't worry.I'm deefiniteely geetting closeer.I brought somee champagnee.I thought wee should havee a toast.The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my life.All right, ladiees, lift 'eem up.To Mary Alicee, a good frieend and neeighbor.Wheereeveer you aree, wee hopee you'vee found peeacee.- To Mary Alicee.- To Mary Alicee.Leet's geet this show on thee road.You guys, cheeck out Mary Alicee's clothees.Sizee eeight? Ha! Shee always told mee shee was a sizee six.- Wee found thee skeeleeton in heer closeet.- Not quite, Gabrielle, not quite.- What's that? - A leetteer addreesseed to Mary Alicee.How ironic.To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret, treated so casually. - What aree you doing? That's privatee.- It's opeen.What's thee big deeal? - What doees this meean? - Don't know.Cheeck out thee postmark.Oh, my God.Shee got it thee day shee dieed.Do you think this is why shee? I'm so sorry, girls.I never wanted you to be burdened with this.Oh, Mary Alicee, what did you do?。

第五集：Mary Alice Voiceover: Previously on Desperate Housewives- Teacher: The boys are in my class because I'm the only teacher that can handle them.Teacher: We may no longer be able to accommodate them.Mary Alice Voiceover: Ultimatums were made-Zach: Mom used this to kill herself. Why would you keep it?Mary Alice Voiceover: Questions were asked-Bree: Are you okay?Gabrielle: I think he's hiding something.Mary Alice Voiceover: ?And lots of evidence was uncoveredPI: Exactly what is it you hired me to do?Paul: Someone sent that note to my wife and I need to know who. Mike: You like Alfred Hitchcock?Mrs. Huber: I found it in the ruins of Edie's home.Carlos: I found it under our bed. It's not mine.Mary Alice Voiceover: Talk about dirty laundry.END OF RECAPMary Alice Voiceover: Every neighborhood has a woman like Alberta Fome.Mary Alice Voiceover: And every woman like Mrs. Fome has a cat. Mary Alice Voiceover: When she traveled, Mrs. Fome would arrangefor friends to look after her beloved pet.Mrs. Fome: Thanks anyway.Mary Alice Voiceover: This time, she was forced to ask her neighbor Susan Mayer.Mary Alice Voiceover: Mrs. Fome liked Susan. But it was common knowledge on Wisteria Lane that wherever Susan Mayer went, bad luck was sure to follow.Mary Alice Voiceover: Her misfortunes ranged from the common place-Mary Alice Voiceover: -To the unusual-Mary Alice Voiceover: -To the truly bizarre.Mary Alice Voiceover: As she waved goodbye, she worried that Susan's streak of bad luck would continue. For that matter, so did her cat.Susan: Mr. Whiskars.Julie: Here kitty.Susan: Dinner time. Here kitty, kitty, kitty!Susan: Cats can open drawers, can they?Julie: Are you sure you didn't leave them open this morning? Susan: No way.Julie: Wow. Do you think somebody broke in?Susan: MR WHISKERS!!!Mary Alice Voiceover: Though she didn't know it at the time Susan's luck-Mary Alice Voiceover: had finally started to change.Mary Alice Voiceover: News that an intruder had breached the security of Wisteria Lane spread like wildfire.Mary Alice Voiceover: At a neighborhood watch meeting the next night, residents voiced their concerns over the increasing dangers their community faced.Mary Alice Voiceover: Mrs. Eida Greenberg announced that someone was looking through her bathroom window whenever she took a shower.Mary Alice Voiceover: Bob Fisk warned those present that an unnamed government agency was listening in to their phone conversations.Mary Alice Voiceover: Helen veil spoke of a ruthless local teenage gang that had egged her mini van.Policeman: There are three things that contribute to...Mary Alice Voiceover: The evening concluded with Officer Thompson offering safety tips and a plan of action.Policeman: So you can sign up for a situation you have control over. Policeman: You can sign up for either daily or nightly patrol is. I know that might seem a bit like overkill, but I assure you.Policeman: That regular surveillance will deter even the most determined criminal. So are there any other questions? Alright then, let's be careful out there.Susan: Actually I do have a question. Do you have a second? Policeman: Sure, how can I help?Susan: Well, I'm the one who discovered the break in and I think I found some evidence.Policeman: Evidence?Susan: I think this is a screw driver left behind by the burglar. And I didn't touch it.Policeman: Why didn't you give this to the investigating officers? Susan: I tried! But they sort of laughed at me, because apparently nothing was taken from Mrs. Fome's house.Policeman: Well, I apologize for that. It was totally unprofessional. Susan: Thank you! So do you think it should be dusted for prints? Policeman: Yes. And I'll make sure it gets done.Susan: Great.Susan: Bye.Lynette: Boys! Stop it! Go to bed.Preston: But we're not tired.Lynette: Well, at least go upstairs..Preston: Gimme! Gimme!Lynette: GO! GO, GO!Preston: C' on.Porter: I'm right behind you.Gabrielle: So why weren't you sitting with Mike tonight? I thought you two were becoming an itemSusan: I thought we were too. But he's been giving a lot of mixed signals.Gabrielle: I'll tell you who wasn't giving mixed signals, was that sexy Officer Thompson. He was staring at you all night.Susan: You noticed that?Gabrielle: Honey, trust me. When they're not staring at me, I notice. Lynette: I really do appreciate you guys staying and helping.Bree: Oh, please! I would have hosted it myself, only the kids are going away to the mountains tomorrow and there's camping equipment everywhere.Lynette: That's nice of you. And since we're talking about it, there's something else nice I'd like you to do. Your kids both went to Barcliff Academy, didn't they?Bree: Yes.Lynette: We need you to recommend Porter and Preston. We can't even get an interview.Bree: Oh, you want me to recommend the twins?Lynette : Yes, you can tell them how beautifully behaved the boys are. Bree: So you want me to lie?Lynette: Yeah. I thought that was understood.Bree: It's just that I'm very well respected at Barcliff, and my word won't be good there anymore.Lynette: Yes, but by the time they realize their mistake we'll be in. (Bree doesn't look too pleased about what she's been asked to do.) Lynette: You're not having any more kids. What do you care? Bree: Well, I had hoped someday to get my grandchildren into Barcliff. But I suppose that doesn't matter to you, does it?Lynette: It really doesn't,Gabrielle: Paul and Zach are fighting again.Lynette: That's the second time this week. They never used to fight like that when Mary Alice was alive.Susan: It's a shame. They used to be such a happy family.Bree: Just because you didn't hear them fighting doesn't mean they were happy.Mary Alice Voiceover: The next day as residents began to patrol Wisteria Lane in the hope of foiling potential burglars, Gabrielle was about to experience a home invasion of her own.Gabrielle: Mama Solis!Gabrielle: What are you doing here?Mama Solis: I came to visit my son and daughter in law. What does it look like?Gabrielle: Does Carlos know you are coming?Mama Solis: No. He likes to be surprised.Mama Solis: Now come, Gabrielle.Mama Solis: Family should always hug. regardless of how they feel about each other.Tom: Wow. She's a beauty. Is that a 30 footer?Headmaster: 32.Tom: Sweet. I sail. I've got a Flying Scot.Headmaster: Well, we have several yachting enthusiasts here at Barcliff Academy. I'll be happy to introduce them to you.Lynette: Oh,t hat sounds great.Tom: Wonderful.Headmaster: If we decide to enroll your children.Headmaster: Tobe honest, Mr. and Mrs. Scavo, your children's educational background is a bit more common than we would prefer, but Mrs. Van Der Kamp mentioned they were identical twins? Lynette: Yes. Completely identical. You can't tell them apart. They're like bookends.Headmaster: We do strive for diversity here at Barcliff. Identical twins could make for an interesting addition.Lynette: The boys are fascinating. They even have their own twin secret language, don't they, Tom?Tom: Yeah, yeah. It's pretty scary.Lynette: It's not really so much scary as highly developed.Tom: Yeah, they bark and growl at each other.Lynette: Sorry, Tom, Mr. Lenz was trying to say something. Mr Lenz? Tom: Sorry. Go ahead, Mr. Lenz.Headmaster: I'd love to meet these twins of yours. I tell you what, I'm going to put them on our must-meet list.Tom: Terrific.Lynette: Thank you so much.Lynette: What is a must-meet list?Headmaster: We bring them in for observation.Lynette: Ooo-observation?Headmaster: Uh-huh. To see how they play with the other children, how they respond to authority. That kind of thing.Tom: Great.Lynette: That's wonderful.Rex: Hey.Bree: Hi.Rex: Kids ready?Bree: Almost. Thanks again for driving them to the bus.Rex: Happy to do it. I miss them.Bree: Did you hear there was a break in at Mrs. Fome's the other night?Rex: Yeah. I heard they didn't take anything.Bree: Well, that doesn't make it any less frightening. I mean, he could have been a sexual predator.Rex: What? And he ended up at Mrs. Fome's? Boy, that would have been a lose-lose situation.Bree: Oh, Rex! That's not the point.Bree: The point is I don't feel safe here, and I was wondering if you would spend the night.Rex: You're in the NRA, you own like four guns! If somebody broke in I'd expect you to protect me.Bree: Rex, the truth is, with the kids gone I'll be all by myself in this house for the first time in seventeen years.Rex: Honey, I know it's hard to hear, but the marriage counselling may not work out. You need to get used to being alone.Bree: You're right. That was hard to hear.Rex: What are you doing?Bree: That is for the kids' trip.Rex: Oh, come on! I'm staying in a motel! I haven't had a decent meal in weeks.Bree: Honey, the marriage counselling might not work out, you need to get used to bad cooking.Officer Thompson: Hey.Officer Thompson: Screwdriver girl.Officer Thompson: I just came by to tell you that I took your evidence into the lab forfingerprints.Susan: Oh, really? That's great.Officer Thompson: So I'll call you if I hear something.Susan: Okay.Susan: Whoops, sorry.Officer Thompson: Actually, I'd like to call you anyway if that's okay. Susan: Oh! Uh, you seem like a really sweet guy, in an interesting line of work. But I um I'm not really availableOfficer Thompson: Oh , you have a boyfriend?Susan: Yeah. Sort of.Officer Thompson: Sort of?Susan: It's hard to explain. Even to myself.Voice: Just incoming, we have a 907A in progress at Maple Street. Officer Thompson: 10-4 I'm on my way. (to Susan) I gotta go. Apparently there's a hostage situation.Susan: Oh wow.Officer Thompson: So you're really turning me down? Boy, myselfesteem can't take this.Susan: I'm sorry.Officer Thompson: Oh, no. It's just that now my ability to help those hostages has been compromised. Still don't blame yourself for what might happen.Susan: Blame myself???Officer Thompson: Yeah, it's just hard to rescue folks when you don't feel good about yourself. Ah, they'll probably all die anyway. Susan: Okay, fine I'll go out with you.Officer Thompson: Great. I'll call you.Susan: Now that you've gotten your date, can you tell me what that really mean -that 907A?Officer Thompson: Someone's TV was playing too loud.Susan: Well thank god for the thin blue line!Officer Thompson: I'll call you.Gabrielle: I'll be outside doing my yoga.Carlos: I'll be right back.Carlos: Do you have to do that now? My mother is here. Gabrielle: Hey! I'm not going to stop my life just because she decides to show up. Unannounced, I might add.Carlos: She's family. She doesn't need an invitation.Gabrielle: Yeah, well, whatever. It's rude.Carlos: It's real pretty, Mama. You were always good with your hands. Mama Solis: So, I assume you didn't insist that I travel 2,000 miles for small talk. So why am I here?Carlos: She isn't happy.Mama Solis: mm-hmm.Carlos: I've given her everything she ever wanted, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I fear we are drifting further and further away. Carlos: And lately I've started thinking that maybe she could be... Mama Solis: You think she's cheating on you.Carlos: I think so.Mama Solis: We can talk about your problems. But I'm not going to have any of that.Carlos: Sorry, mama.Mama Solis: Do you have any proof?Carlos: No. No, it's just a feeling.Mama Solis: I had that feeling with your father and that who*e waitress. And I was right. Always trust your feelings.Carlos: So what do I do?Mama Solis: You don't do anything. I'll take care of it.Carlos: Thank you, Mama.Mama Solis: I’m sorry I had to hit you. But we're strong people, and we don't cry about our problems.Mama Solis: We find ways to fix them.Mary Alice Voiceover: Whilst the residents of Wisteria Lane kept up their patrols in an effort to prevent future break-ins, Lynette hatched a plan to break her children into Barcliff Academy.Lynette: Boys? Wake up.Lynette: You're going to have some fun today.Lynette: Hey.Preston: Hi.Lynette: C'on! I got you beat!Lynette: Yes, yes, come on!Preston: Mom? We're tired.Porter: How much longer do we have to do this?Lynette: I can still see your heads. The pool's not deep enough. Headmaster: Are your boys usually so docile?Lynette: They're always a little shy at first.Lynette: Look at that concentration. Porter loves his puzzles. Headmaster: Hmm.Gabrielle: Mama, I'll be right back. I'm going to the store.Mama Solis: Gabrielle! I'm coming with you. I wanna make some tamales for Carlos.Gabrielle: You know, Juanita, I'm not going to the supermarket. I'm going to the lingerie store.Mama Solis: Good. I need some bras.Gabrielle: I may be a while. And I may get a facial.Mama Solis: I have a face.Susan: Hey, Mike.Mike: Hey, how’s it going?Susan: Good. I just came by to say hello.Mike: Hello.Susan: So you member that cop from the neighborhood watch meeting ? He agreed to run a fingerprint check on the screwdriver I found at Mrs. Fome's house.Mike: He did? Nothing was taken.Susan: Still somebody broke in, it is a crime. So the weird thing is, the cop asked me out. On a date.Mike: Oh?Susan: And I sort of said Yes. I was sort of curious what you thought about that.Mike: You're asking my permission to go out with him?Susan: No. no. I just uh, was wondering your opinion.Mike: I don't really have one.Susan: Okay. Great. Fine. Thank you.Mike: Susan, wait. Wait. I'm sorry. My life, it's just ah, really complicated right now-Susan: You don't have to explain.Mike: Susan!Susan: It's complicated. I get it.Bree: Paul?Bree: Oh, hi, Zachery. I'm sorry. The door was open and-Zach: It's okay. You can come in.Bree: Is your father here? We were scheduled to do a patrol today. Zach: He had to go out of town. Again.Bree: Oh. Well,, I guess I can do it by myself.Bree: Wow, this place is just immaculate.Zach: My mom liked things clean.Bree: Zach, she would be very proud of you. What happened to your varnish?Zach: It's where my mother died. They messed up the floor trying to get out the blood.Bree: Oh.Zach: I'll let my dad know you stopped by.Bree: Zach, do you have any plans for dinner?Mama Solis is behind her)Mama Solis: So you shop a lot, huh?Gabrielle: Yeah. So?Mama Solis: Most women that shop a lot, it's because they don't haveanything better to do.Gabrielle: What's your point?Mama Solis: Well, if you had children-Gabrielle: Here we go.Mama Solis: I'm just saying that children give your life purpose. You get so busy taking care of them that you don't have any time to wonder if you're happy.Gabrielle: You know, Juanita, this is so like you. I take you on a nice shopping trip and you find ways to upset me.Mama Solis: Oh, you didn't invite me. I invited myself.Mama Solis: You keep looking at your watch. Is there someplace you have to be?Gabrielle: NO.Gabrielle: And for the record, I am not one of those women who has a hole in her heart that can only be filled by a baby. I like my life. A lot. It's very fulfilling.Mama Solis: Excuse my daughter in law, she's very fulfilled. Lynette: So he just blew you off?Susan: I told him another man asked me out, it was the perfect opportunity for Mike to be jealous. And nothing.Lynette: Well, did you bat your eyes? You know, it doesn't work if you don't bat your eyes.Susan: Honey, I batted everything that wasn't nailed down. I'm telling you, nothing.Lynette: Oh, thanks.Susan: So what's going on there?Lynette: UmGophers.Susan: Wow.Lynette: Listen, I'm sorry about Mike. I know how much you like him. Susan: Aw, maybe it's my fault. Maybe I just imagined an entire relationship with this man that didn't exist.Lynette: There has been flirting.Susan: Yes, and the flirting made me think that he was kind and trustworthy and honest and hygienic. That's how it is with me. A guy just smiles at me three times and I'm picking out wedding china. I'm a mess.Lynette: But to be fair, that is part of your charm.Susan: That's what happened with Carl. I only dated him a couple of months. I filled in the blanks; I married him. It was a disaster! Lynette: You think Mike is a Carl in disguise?Susan: I dunno. What does that mean anyway? My life is complicated? Noah: If I wanted to sit around and wait for nothing I could do it on the can. You're late. What's with the face?Mike: I screwed up. I broke into the Fome house and almost gotcaught.Noah: What's almost?Mike: I accidentally left something behind with my prints on it. Noah: Don't you own a pair of gloves?Mike: It's the suburbs. I didn't think it would matter. Anyway, the police are running a check, and I'm in the system. I've got to pull up sticks before they come looking for me.Noah: That's a sweet sound laughter like that, huh? It pisses me off. If and when your cover is blown, you disappear. Until then, you keep fixing the neighborhood pipes.Mike: The more time I spend in this town, the more I think we're making a mistake. These are nice people.Noah: My money says one of them isn't.Kid: Thanks.Noah: No more screw ups.Gabrielle: I'm getting something to drink. Do you want something? Gabrielle :Now don't be mad.John: I waited at that motel for three hours for you. I had to use a month's worth of lunch money to pay for that room.Gabrielle: It's not my fault. Juanita hasn't let me out of her sight since she got here.John: Really? Well I don't see her now.Gabrielle ：She's watching her Mexican soap opera. The reverend's virgin daughter is about to be seduced by the escaped desperado. So until she puts out Juanita won't even know that I'm gone. Gabrielle: Come on! I said I was sorry.John: Yeah. Just so you know, I've turned down half the pep squad for you.Gabrielle: You can't be serious.John: Well, you know, I'm starting to think that maybe I should be with someone my own age.Gabrielle: But I thought teenage girls bored you, John? I thought what we had was beyond that.John: So did I.Gabrielle: So why do you want to go back to something you don't want?John: I don't know.Gabrielle: Maybe you're tired of me.John: No. I wanna be with you.Gabrielle: So why are we arguing?Mama Solis: Gabrielle!Gabrielle: Damn it! The virgin gave it up already?John: I want you so bad. When can I see you again?Gabrielle: Tomorrow. Meet me at the front entrance of the mall afterschool.John: What about your mother in law?Gabrielle :Don't worry. I'll think of something.Mama Solis: Gabrielle! Gabrielle!Gabrielle: Coming!Tom: A donation? Now Barcliff wants a donation.Lynette: Apparently we're in competition with one other family. A generous donation will ensure our kids beat them out.Tom: How generous?Lynette: Fifteen thousand.Tom: Pff! We don't have that!Lynette: And that's what I told them.Tom: So what do we do? Well, public school is out, unless we move to a new district.Lynette: We're not moving.Tom: Maybe it's time that we look into home schooling?Lynette: I know you did not just say that.Tom: Honey, it's got its advantages. Kids who are home schooled do better in their later years.Lynette: They won't make it to their later years if I have to spend all day with them.Tom: Honey, sometimes you've just got to make the sacrifice. It'sprobably the best thing for the kids.Lynette: Why don't we just put them back in me and cook them until they're civilized?Tom: You'd be cool with that?Zach: I've never had plum pudding before.Bree: I'm serving it this year for Christmas. I like to try out new recipes before the actual holiday. That way, if the cook book has gotten it wrong, I can fix it.Zach: You must really like Christmas. You and Mr Van Der Kamp always have the best decorations on your lawn.Bree: I adore the holidays. I never get depressed if there's a beautifully decorated tree to look at.Zach: My mom and I would always decorate our tree together. Zach: This Christmas is going to be weird.Bree: Oh, Zach. You know, my mother died when I was young. She was hit by a car.Zach: Oh!Bree: It was right before Christmas as a matter of fact. We were all singing carols and the dog was howling, because everyone in my family sings off-key except for me. Anyway, it was just a terrible ruckus. So no-one noticed when my mother wenta cross the street to give the neighbor their gift. The next thing we heard were brakesscreeching.Zach: Wow.Bree: Most of my family went to the hospital, but I stayed home because I was so young. When I looked out the window I saw all my mother's blood on the street and nobody was doing anything about it. So I got a hose and I washed it off. And once it was clean, I felt so much better.Bree: I've never told anyone that story before.Zach: Well, those are the most interesting ones-the stories that we never tell anyone.Bree: Yes, you're probably right.Zach: I have one. It's more of a secret really.Bree: Ooooh.Zach: I know why my mom killed herself .Bree: You do?Zach: It was something I did. Something bad.Bree: What did you do??? Zach? Sweetheart?Zach: No! No, I'd better not. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have done this.Zach: If my dad found out..Bree: Zach, calm down.Zach: No, please. I -Bree: Zach, I won't tell your father.Zach: I can't get you involved.Bree: Zachery, it's alright!Susan: I can't believe Zach said that. What else did he tell you? Bree: Nothing. That's it. Just that Mary Alice killed herself because of something he had done.Susan: You couldn't get any more out of him?Bree: Oh, I tried. But he was so nervous he actually started shaking and then he just left.Gabrielle: Okay, this is getting really weird. I think we should go to the police.Bree: And tell them what? We don't even have the note anymore, we gave it to Paul.Susan: Then you're going to have to get Zach to tell you something, so we have more to go on.Bree: Girls, you don't understand. This poor kid is scared out of his mind.Gabrielle: Oh, for god's sake, Bree, you're a woman. Manipulate him. It's what we do!Bree: But how?Gabrielle: I don't know. How do you usually manipulate Rex? Bree: Hello, Zachery. Are you free for dinner tonight?Zach: Sure.Bree: Oh, good, because last night you put me in such a holiday mood, so I'm going to make roast turkey and canned yams and egg nog. Have you ever had real old-fashioned egg nog?Zach: No, I don't think so.Bree: Oh! You are going to love it! It has quite a kick..Lynette: Boys, could you stop?Preston: MOM!MOM! HE'S HITTING ME!Porter: No, I'm not!Mama Solis: Gabrielle, please! You've bought me enough things. You're the one that's supposed to be shopping.Gabrielle: Oh, Mama, you're in a rut! We need to spice up your wardrobe. Oooh, try this one on.Gabrielle: Go on, try it on.Gabrielle: Mama Solis, how're you doing in there?Mama Solis: Is it supposed to be so tight?Gabrielle: Yes, it's form-fitting. You're going to look great.Mama Solis: Gabrielle ,I don't think this dress is right for me. I can't breathe!Gabrielle: Well, maybe I made a mistake.Gabrielle: While you get changed I'm going to run to the book store. Mama Solis: Gabrielle! Wait! Wait, I'm coming with you.Gabrielle: No, no, I'll just be a minute.Mama Solis: Gabrielle! Wait!Shop Assistant: Ma'am. Ma'am. I'm sorry I'm going to need to look at your bags please.Mama Solis: Alright. Just hurry up.John: Right on time.Mama Solis: I'm telling you I don't know where that blouse came from.Shop Assistant: Security!Mama Solis: Alright! Keep your stupid blouse. I have to find my daughter in law.Mama Solis: Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me!Security Guard #1: Ma'am you're going to have to come with us. Mama Solis: Get off me! Gabrielle!Bree: Hello?Rex: Hey, it's me.Bree: Oh, hi, Rex. How are you? Is something wrong?Rex: Well, I was just about to grab dinner from the motel vending machines when it occurred to me. What the heck. I'll go out.Would you like to have dinner with me?Bree: Uh?Zach: Mrs. Van Der Kamp, guess what's found all of mom's oldChristmas stuff.Bree: Oh, sweetie, I was just coming over to talk to you. I'm so sorry, but something really important came up and I have to cancel. Zach: Really?Bree: We will do it again. We'll have our impromptu holiday dinner, I promise. Bye.Susan: I've got one. Kelly Holstatter. In eighth grade she used to spit in my gym shoes.Officer Thompson: Kelly Holstatter. Here. Two DUIs, one cheque kiting and one open bench warrant.Susan: How tragic! By which I mean, yay?Officer Thompson: Yeah, you've been a really good sport, coming along on my shift with me.Susan: Well, time flies when you're on a stakeout in crack town. Susan: So when does our official date begin?Officer Thompson: Well, taxpayers say twenty minutes but I say now. Tom: They're down.Lynette: Oh ,thank you.Tom: Honey, you've been reading up on home schooling? Lynette: Yeah. It gave me some good ideas. Well, one, anyway. Tom: Great! What have you got?Lynette : Well, you know how we both agree that one of us needs tostay home and parent the kids and one of us needs to go off and make a living. And then I suddenly remembered, when I was working I made a little more than you.Tom: What are you doing?Lynette: You tossed out that little Sacrifice comment a while ago and it occurred to me, I've made sacrifices over the past six years. I gave up my career! If another sacrifice has to be made, I think it's your turn on the merry-go-round.Tom: L-L-Lynette?Lynette: So if I went back to work, then you could stay home and take care of the kids.Tom: I can't do that. The kids all day? I'd lose my mind!Lynette: Ah-ha!Tom: Hey ,hey. Okay, I get it. Home schooling is out . So how are we going to scrape together fifteen grand for this endowment? Lynette: Hmmm. How?Mary Alice Voiceover: Lynette was so desperate to avoid home schooling, that she saw no other options on the horizon until a solution sailed into view.Tom: Oh no.Lynette: Aye, aye.Officer Thompson: So the restaurant is run by this little old guy。