2012级第四学期范文(1)On Fame

1. On Fame

(1) 学号：3012205263 姓名：廖颖倩

Fame is not what can be gained by

deliberate efforts. On the contrary, fame

follows your efforts for exploiting you ①talents. Unfortunately, a number of

individuals are blinded while② fame is

concerned.

Never in history is there an artist creating

his glory without his own specific style, which

distinguishes him from others and catches

the eyes of the public. ③ Go through all the

famous artists that you can remember, it

definitely won’t be surprising that none of

them is spurred by the lure of drowning in

fame in spite of some pushed by the

pressure of making life initially. ④ A song by

Michael Jackson or by Liu Huan is easily

recognizable.

However, after exposing in the spot light

of fame, remaining true to the artist himself

could be really a tough job. It takes you out of

yourself without being noticed. Even the

great exertion of avoiding being controlled

could be useless. Uncompromising behavior,

which the public object to, will cost loss.⑤

Oscar Wilde' case was a typical one.

Quest for fame leads artists in the wrong

direction, especially for those who are single-minded. Just try to enjoy the work you are

doing, instead of extreme desire for fame.

And that's the only way for you to make self-improvement, more importantly, to create better art. ①改成your

②改成where

③ ④这两句句式很好

⑤ 改成will cost a lot或 will lead to severe

loss

本文中心明确，行文比较流畅，有较好的语言功底，能够比较自如地运用各种词句搭配和复合句式。不足之处就是所举的两处例子，应再说一两句，让其丰满一些。 (2) 学号：3012208231 姓名：王荟芳

Fame is considered as a well-known,

reputation of a favorable character.① Many

people seek fame at their best, which like dog

chasing his own tail.② Everybody knows that

famous people can enjoy a status that other

ordinary people simply don't have. They can

receive preferential treatment at any time as

long as they like. People may respect and

admire those with fame. Wherever these

famous people go, they always attract media’

and the public’s attention.③

Does fame bring happiness or sadness?

Famous people hardly remain true to

themselves. Who knows what really goes on

behind the smiling, “happy” faces of those

individuals? When people are young, they

quest for fame, and all they want to be is

famous.④ What they don’t realize is the

consequences that go side by side with all the

glamour. The important reason is that most of

famous people have much money.⑤ They

seem easier to make money.⑥ I don't deny

these advantages over fame. However, we

can’t be single-minded.

Fame does not bring about happiness in

this world, and the media and the press

provide many examples of that to our

television networks and the internet. It may

bring about a sense of satisfaction to be

famous and known all over the world, but

after a few months, the pressure sits on them

and builds up. Meanwhile, ordinary people

can be happy individuals who are satisfied

with their life and their family without having

their faces shown in tabloids everywhere.

From my perspective, fame is not the

most significant for me. I don't care if I am

famous. I always long for liberty and hate to

be limited. There is a Chinese saying that

fame portends trouble for men just as

fattening does for pigs. You will lose freedom

under many people's eyes and mouths when

are famous.⑦ Your real friends may leave

you and some hypocritical persons will object

to you. People are so greedy that they want

more fame after they have a little. So I don't

want to be famous and do want to be free, ordinary and unknown. ① 开头这句所指不明确，去掉。

② 以此句作为段落开头，改成Fame is

what many people

seek at their best,

which is like a dog

chasing his own tail.

③ 改成 attract the

attention of the media

and the public

④ 改成 all they want

is to be famous

⑤去掉of;

much 改成 a lot of

⑥ 改成 It seems easy

for them to make

money.

⑦ 去掉are

行文比较流畅，语感较好，词汇量较大，词句运用比较自如，但个别句式搭配、词语搭配还需推敲并提高。

（划红波浪线的句子都是写得比较好的）

（字数不要太多，如要求不少于150字，则将字数控制在150-180；如要求不少于120字，则控制在120-150。因为多写出的句子也容易有错误。）