岗位申请书英语
Application for Promotion
I hereby apply for promotion， for the reasons outlined below.
1. I like money. Let's face it， when it all comes down to it， who gives a shit about recognition. You can't buy beers at the pub with it， and it hasn't got a resale value.
2. I can USE the extra cash. I have a definite purpose for the money. I'll spend it. And I'll probably spend it at a place that employs students to do menial and degrading tasks，thereby filtering my extra income back into the Univeristy's coffers - YOU CAN'T LOSE！
3. I've never asked before. A lot of the bastards who apply for promotion are the talentless civil servant types who do nothing for a year， then apply for promotion. I'm different. I'm the sort of talentless civil servant bastard that's done nothing for 7 years and wants a promotion. The logic of this arguement is undeniable.
4. Everyone else is getting some. If there's free money around， and other people are getting some， it stands to reason I want my share.
5. Other people don't deserve it. Give me a list of their names. Within 2 weeks I can find， research or fabricate evidence as to why they don't deserve a decent raise， or，alternatively， be dismissed.
6. I'm leaving soon. I'll be leaving soon， so this is
a good time to pay me off so I leave in good spirits and not with every piece of portable equipment I can lay my hands on late at night.
Thanks so much for your time. I look forward to a favourable response and salary increase. Back-dated to when I started. Plus interest. Real Bank interest， the double figure stuff.
Note： This application was unsuccessful
