点评优秀雅思作文
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雅思写作点评范例It is true that a lot of children, from below 3 to high school, would like to spend time in watching a range of TV programs and videos. One of the most obvious reasons for this is that these are so attractive, vivid and touching our lives that the children who are curious cannot resist their temptation at all.Some people, especially the parents, argue that this is very damaging. They probably begin by pointing out that their children who are limited inself-control and self-principle will easily take too much time in watching instead of being back to study after doing for a short while. In addition to this, it is well aware that the amount of violence and unhealthy pictures are filled with videos for some reasons. When children who are still simple watch too much amount without any correct guidance, some of them will easily break the laws in the realistic world by imitating the details of crimes.However, others who disbelieve watching TV or video is bad claim that TV programs and the amount of videos can fully help children understand outside world or relax their stressful brains after intense study. Obviously, those who often watch TV have a wider range of knowledge and better understandings to our society than those who do not. All of this is beneficial to children’s growth and their future social life.Overall, I would like to say that watching TV or videos are necessary for children who need knowledge and information, but the point is that parents must ensure their children not to watch too much or too long, and at the same time the Government should give a harsh warning to media with overuse of unhealthy contents.1. This/these之类的词明显不会用,指代不清;attractive, vivid and touching our lives:明显的并列结构出错;开头段没有点明作者的观点或者作者要在文中的所做所为。
雅思大作文优缺点范文城市生活就像一个五味杂陈的大杂烩,有着各种各样的味道,也就是优点和缺点。
一、优点。
1. 丰富的娱乐和文化活动。
在城市里,你永远不用担心无聊。
就像我住在大城市的时候,每次我觉得生活平淡得像一杯白开水,只要我一出门,就像是打开了一个装满惊喜的魔法盒子。
电影院里总是在上映最新的大片,从超级英雄拯救世界的刺激故事,到那些能让你哭得稀里哗啦的文艺爱情片,应有尽有。
剧院里呢,有各种话剧、音乐剧,演员们在舞台上就像闪闪发光的星星,用他们的表演把你带到另一个奇妙的世界。
还有数不清的音乐会,不管你是喜欢摇滚的疯狂节奏,还是古典音乐的优雅旋律,都能找到自己的心头好。
比如说我有一次去听一场摇滚音乐会,那种全场一起跟着音乐摇摆、大声唱歌的氛围,真的让我觉得自己充满了活力,就像被重新充电了一样。
博物馆也是城市的宝藏。
在里面,你可以穿越时空,了解古代文明的辉煌,看看那些古老的文物,像是能和几千年前的人对话。
美术馆里满是各种风格的艺术作品,从抽象的、让人摸不着头脑但又觉得很厉害的画作,到那些栩栩如生的写实作品,就像是走进了一个艺术的梦幻岛。
2. 便捷的交通和基础设施。
城市里的交通虽然有时候会堵得像一锅粥,但总体来说还是很方便的。
公共交通网络就像一张密密麻麻的蜘蛛网,把城市的各个角落都连接起来。
地铁就像是城市的地下动脉,快速地把人们送到目的地。
我记得有一次我要去城市的另一头参加一个重要的面试,我只需要在地铁里坐几站,然后再转一趟公交车就到了,总共花费不到一个小时。
要是在农村或者小镇,可能我得提前好几个小时出发,还得各种转车,说不定还得走路走得脚疼。
而且城市里的基础设施很完善。
到处都有超市,你想要的东西基本上都能买到。
不管是凌晨想吃个冰淇淋,还是突然发现家里没有卫生纸了,只要下楼走几步就有救了。
还有医院也很多,要是突然生病了,不用像在偏远地区那样等很久才能得到治疗。
我有一次不小心扭到了脚,附近就有一家小诊所,医生很快就给我处理好了,我当时就想,这在城市里可真方便啊。
雅思考生经典8分范文一(一)Are zoos necessary?指导老师:英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业Recently there has arisen a heated debate over whether zoos are necessary. People retain diverse attitudes towards this hot issue. Before presenting my view, I intend to discuss both sides of the argument.Advocates of zoos hold the belief that the benefits of zoos to any community are conservational, educational and recreational. To begin with, it is an effective way to preserve some rare animals and endangered species in zoos. The natural environment is no longer a suitable habitat for some species which are on the verge of extinction due to the deterioration of environment and hunting. Zoos help increase the population of endangered species and thus maintain the ecological balance. Moreover, zoos also serve as an ideal scientific research center where scientists can conduct experiments to find out the causes of some diseases that have been troubling animals and discover the cures. In addition, it is also possible that scientists breed more new species. Besides protecting endangered species, zoos play an important role in improving the public knowledge of animals. Animals in zoos keep people in touch with a more natural and animal world. Last of all, zoos are a place of entertainment and recreation. They are also a great tourist attraction which boosts the local tourism.Some other people, however, are strongly against zoos for several sound reasons. Primarily, it is morally wrong to take an animal from its home, confine it in unnatural settings and use it for our entertainment. The nature of zoos reflects a worldwide human arrogance towards other species and fosters a disregard for all life. Furthermore, overcrowding and unnatural groupings of animals can create stress and lead to severe injury and even death and deaths from aggression, disease, stress and ill treatment are common. Worst of all, adults and children visiting zoos will be given the subliminal message that it is OK to use animals for our own ends, though it impinges on their freedom or quality of life; thus zoos will encourage poor treatment of animals more generally.In the final analysis, both sides have sound foundations. However, if asked to make a choice, I will not hesitate to assent to the latter. I believe that animals belong to their natural habitat in the wild and it is a breach of their natural rights to take them by force into captivity for our own purposes; therefore zoos should be discouraged.范文赏析:1.文章采用了雅思议论文典型的等分式结构(COUNTER-ARGUMENT)。
雅思8分作文范文(优选八篇)5雅思8分作文范文(篇一)In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons:(74words)点评:开头稍微写的有点长,不过内容写的还不错。
属于通过分析两种不同观点,较后阐述自己观点的写法。
(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词,应该连接句子与句子,所以这里前面不应该是句号。
后面agree是不及物动词,不能直接加宾语。
Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people,这不是自相矛盾么) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号,然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号,然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号,这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词,而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmoniouswhich(前面较好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)正文段综合点评:此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作,正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点,的确在构思上花了不少心思。
Air travel only benefits the richest people. The majority of people cannot receive the advantages of the development of air travel. Do you agree or disagree? Improved traffic technology(transportation technology) has made travelling means more various than ever before. People relish their journey by diverse transportation. Some people consider that air travel actually widen(widens) the gap between the rich and poor due to the only benefits it offers to the wealthy group, while the majority of average people are kept far away from the advantages of the development of air travel. Personally, I do not think this is the complete picture. Admittedly, the cost of flight is much higher than the travelling expense by railway or some other means of transport. The price would be more likely twice or even triple that of trains or buses. Rich people may tend to enjoy its swiftness and comfortableness, while humble citizens prefer to take more care of their purse, giving ways to the endurance of filthy compartments and noisy surroundings in trains and buses. Nevertheless, the less-wealthy folk(people) are not completely out of the gate. Due to the stagnant market and the fierce competition in the domain of civil aviation companies, plenty of preferential and promotion activities(programs) are offered to consumers which makes(make) air flight possible(affordable) for average people due to the diving price. (For example,) CAAC ever sliced 80% off from the original price to attract more passengers. What's more, some business people have to make the option of flying due to some urgent jobs no matter they are rich or not(no matter what kind of social economic status they are in). From what discussed above(From what has been discussed above), it seems unreasonable to maintain that air travel offers convenience only to the wealthy people. It is bound to benefit more people, given the more prosperous marketing and more advanced air traffic system. - 268 words – 专家点评: 本次考试的题⽬为论述“飞⾏”这种交通⽅式是否只对富⼈有利,⽽对于⼤多数⼈来说并不能享受到这种交通⽅式的便利。
雅思作文范文及教师点评People can go to shop, bank and work with a puter. But the danger of the puter is that people are getting isolated and losing some social skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?The progression of puter is inevitable and undeniable. Nowadays puters also have bee a part of our daily life. Instead of leaving home to go to shop bank and work people can do these at home by clicking the buttons. However, some people hold the opinion that it will cause people isolated from each other and lose social skills. Personally I findit hard for me to agree with this opinion by following reasonsIn the first instance, puters are tool to munication with people instead of isolation from the world. When we say a person is isolated it means that he is lonely and cut off the world. However, people seldom have this feeling while they are surfing the Inter. On the contrary, people tend to make more friends through the .Secondly, people also can acquire social skills on Inter. Communication on Inter has the same purpose as face-to-face munication has. For example, through Inter we can send greeting cards to our friends. Furthermore, sometimes it might be a better way of munication on some oasions suchas when you find it embarrassing to say sorry face to face we can send a message of apology to your friend.Last but not least, doing something through Inter actually spares more time for our social life. Sometime we need to spend a lot of time shopping in department stores. Now we can save the time and may visit our friends.In general, puter just make our life more colorful so we don’t need to worry about the changes its may bring to us. Especially most of these changes are positive.讲评:原文总体上逻辑是清楚的,直接答复了题中的问题,并得出了自己的结论。
雅思作文点评分享今天小编和大家分享雅思作文点评,希望可以帮助到大家,下面小编就和大家分享,来欣赏一下吧。
雅思作文点评:论证不够示例凑还是关于“老一辈的传统观念是否还适用于现在的社会”的雅思写作话题①However,not all past views are proper. Some of them have limitation themselves initially. Typical example is the traditional view of gender. In the past,women are regarded as a role that can only assist men instead of being independent. This traditional view results to an unequal position between man and women no matter in education or job market. This,actually,hinders the development of our society. The main reason is that it ignores females’ special talent and limits females to contribute to the world. Nowadays,increasing amount of women start to fight with this unfair views and it definitely benefit our world.②The virtual of trust and credit could be anothe r vivid example to demonstrate the significance of traditional values. In the past,people would make every effort to keep their promises and try to bean honest one. In comparison,people currently become more practical and put less attention on morality. It can be easily heard from the media about the news of cheating and many critics have created a new term of crisis of trust between people. Consequently,there is no doubt to refute these old yet precious ideas.①当中,共8句话,从第3句话开始,全部是实例。
雅思作文领导评语模板范文英文回答:Comments on Academic Writing Task 1。
Overall Impression:The candidate's writing is overall clear and concise, with good use of vocabulary and grammar. The response is well-organized and logically presented.Content:The candidate provides an accurate and detailed description of the data presented in the graph. They effectively identify the main features and trends of the data, and provide relevant examples to support their analysis.Accuracy:The candidate's description of the data is generally accurate and free of factual errors. However, there are some minor errors in the use of numbers and units of measurement.Organization:The response is well-organized and easy to follow. The candidate uses clear transitions to guide the reader through their analysis.Vocabulary:The candidate has a good range of vocabulary, and uses a variety of vocabulary-building strategies, such as synonyms, antonyms, and collocations.Grammar:The candidate's grammar is generally good, with only a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation.Coherence and Cohesion:The response is coherent and cohesive, with good use of linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.Overall Score:Overall, the candidate's writing is of a high standard and demonstrates a strong command of academic English.Suggestions for Improvement:Take more care to ensure accuracy in the use of numbers and units of measurement.Expand the vocabulary range by using more advanced or technical vocabulary.Strengthen the use of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.Comments on Academic Writing Task 2。
Q:Some people think that government should only spend money on the construction of public service rather than waste on the arts such as music and painting.To what extent do you agree of disagree.A:Art represents the deepest spirit and culture of a nationality, so a nationality without art has no future.Even though improving the basic services, such as develop the insurance system, build more hospitals, enhance the quality of schools, is important, enriching people’s spirit is also crucial. Art, such as drama, music, painting and dancing, is the most significant mark of a nationality’s culture. The thinking of ‘spending money on art is a waste of money’is ridiculous. If people intend to develop something, the cost of money is necessary and unavoidable. As the high position as art in people’s daily life, paying more attention to protect it is obviously important and every coin spend on it would be meaningful. Some people, who are lake of notice about the crucial role of arts playing in our society, think that there are no material benefits which arts can bring to the public, but, actually, the advantages which arts give to people are already under everyone’s skin and in every person’s spirit. (看不懂)The main difference between animal and human binges is the ability of creating. Art is the biggest result of human’s creation, it fully enriches our mind, inspires our intelligence and made so many contributions to the history of human’s evolution. People are not living as machine or working animals, instead, they need to think, to touch, to explore their life and their potential. All of these actions are companied by art, inspired by art and perfected by art. Even the construction of public service is directed under the art management. It is not on the contrary to focus on art and also construct public service. (看不懂) The building of people’s spiritual life and material life can happen at the same time.The key point about the issue is not whether we should spend money on art or not, it is about which part of development should be pay more attention to. Personally speaking, I can barely agree with the thinking that only economic development is necessary, rather than spirit development. These two concepts are not on the opposite, and the money should spend on what the public really need.思考和分析都有深度,充满激情,但是,使用英语表达有些力不从心。
专家点评雅思A类议论文Many countries aim to improve living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages­.考试大-中国教育考试门户网站()It is definitely true that economic development would lead to some by-products including the loss of social values but these problems cannot cover the outstanding achievements. I think advantages of economic development and disadvantages of that will coexist for a long time.Economic progress is the basis of all the nations in the world. United States is the most advanced country and the living standard of the people in that country is very high. The citizens could have high level of social welfare and they enjoy free medical care and free education. Even the poorest people in the States could get the social insurance, which ensures theirimpossibility to get starved. Take China as another example. During the years of social reform, the manufacturing industry has been improved a lot and the international trade in China was vigorous. Most multinational companies are investing in the country so that the citizens in China would have more opportunities to get a good job and their living standards would be higher.But one thing we could not ignore is that the social values are losing day by day. Especially in some developing countries, as they are developing economy, some severe situations would occur. For example, in some Asian countries, more and more illegal prostitutes appear, which would cater to the needs of some businessmen, who would use sex as a means of negotiation. In some developed countries, the same thing happened again. Tiger Woods is a typical example. He is a wealthy guy, but he is not loyal to his wife and he had the affairs with the lots of women. The other examples could be found in NBA even in the political world. Bill Clinton, the former president of the United State, came across the similar problem. So we could get the ideathat economic accumulation would cause to people to seek other undesirable excuse to obtain satisfaction. Step by step, the values could collapse. Other social values have been lost as well. For instance, in the business world, the colleagues are not cooperative as before; instead the competition makes them to be enemies. As a result, the relationship of the people in the society is much worse than that in the past. Money-oriented society is a formidable thing. And the consequence of that is more than the loss of social values.The trend of economic development cannot be reversed and most people welcome it much. And disadvantages of economic development, I would say they are almost equal and it is a sociological question and more work should be done to access the answer. 点击下载Word文档。
点评优秀雅思作文●Task 2: It is right that college graduates earn higher salaries than the less well-educated in the community. But they should also pay the full cost of their study. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?评:写作要求要素:1.背景:大学生比不受教育的人挣的多。
这是个开放的大背景,考生要据此大胆发挥。
不要一开始就直接谈Do you agree or disagree with this statement? 2.大学生应该全额支付自己的学费——这是全文的话题,写作的核心和篇幅的大头。
3.你要么同意、要么反对上述观点。
不要一分为二地谈。
据此,全文分为三个部分:引言(由“大学生比不受教育的人挣的多”引出主题),正文(同意或反对“大学生应该全额支付自己的学费”的观点),结论(你自己的观点)。
这种文体的结构颇似音乐中的奏鸣曲(呈示部、展开部、再现部)。
一个牛津学生的9分作文:Some conclude that college students should bear expenses for their higher learning on the generalization that college graduates usually receive higher salaries for similar jobs than those without a college degree(开门见山,直入主题). We can not deny that higher level of education, indeed, do associate with better income. Still, built on such fact alone, the conclusion remains questionable when more aspects are taken into consideration(此句承上启下。
自然铺垫下文。
).The whole argument in question rests on(用词不俗)an assumption that it is always the case that people with higher education make more money than those less well-educated(本句承上并成为本段的主题句子。
句式复杂、地道。
). But salary or income is, in most cases(插入语), based on contributions made by employees to companies or org anizations in which they are employed(作者的观点已经出现). Statistics in the labor market indicate that people with professional training tend to find jobs easier than college graduates do and that blue-collar workers who do not hold college degrees are becoming the hotties in the labor market(所谓statistics不过是作者杜撰的,这种“杜撰”是作文中非常需要的。
这句话有为下边的例子做了铺垫。
是tell). Employers prefer to hire and pay more to highly skilled and specially trained people rather than fresh college graduates. In the auto industry, for instance, skilled technicians make two or three times more than their college educated counterparts who make the average salaries in other companies(举例子总是必要的,是show). And it is widely accepted that people’s income is determined more by talent, hard work, and willingness to take risks than solely by certain qualifications such as college education. Otherwise, the unemployment rate of college graduates would not be increasing every year and the rule of supply and demand will lose much of power in controlling the labor market. Admittedly in some knowledge extensive field such as research, teaching, and practice of law the labor force are primarily consisted of highly educated professionals(略提事物的另一面,不做展开). But such people make up only a fraction of the labor market and are thus unrepresentative of the whole employment in general. (本段论述是否受过教育的人的求职情况。
)Considering the goal of education(过渡词语), we find that it is even more problematic for the country to throw all the responsibility of financing college education to college students. The goal of higher education of a nation is to improve and strengthen the general level of intellectual and professional capacity of its labor force, thereby increas ing the competency of the nation in the global economy. As tax payers, parents all contributes to the education system and country in various ways. It is only reasonable and necessary that the country gives some forms of financial assistance to students to ease the burden of rising education costs(提出了个人的观点。
). Such help should go to not only students from needy or impoverished families but also outstanding students from affluent backgrounds. Doing so can significantlyboost the motivation of children from millions of families to engage in higher level of study. It is understandable that the general quality of people in a country will improve and its economy will benefit both now and in years to follow. (本段回应Do you agree or disagree with this statement? 作者不同意But they should also pay the full cost of their study的说法。
) If the burden of supporting children’s higher education is dumped on parents and students, thousands of brilliant students will be deprived of chances to pursue their academic inspiration. Among those who suffer would definitely be future great scientists, business managers, artists and statesmen. The loss will be disastrous and irreversible. (本段是正文的小结论。
)In conclusion, the idea that students should also pay the full cost of their study is wrong and harmful because it is wrong to assume that higher education necessarily equalize high income. Moreover, it is in the best interest of a nation to take responsibility in financing college education so that the goal of higher education will be better met. (结论明确,强化了作者的观点。