米奇妙妙屋第二季前9集字幕

家有儿女第二部目录第1集：团圆年剧情围绕夏家过年时的各种趣事和冲突展开，体现了家庭成员间的深厚感情和和谐氛围。

第2集：除夕风波除夕之夜，夏家遭遇了一系列意想不到的风波，孩子们展现出不同的应对能力和团结精神。

第3集：大拜年夏家全体成员前往亲朋好友家拜年，期间发生了不少搞笑和感人的故事。

第4集：三个保姆家里突然来了三位保姆，夏家上下陷入了一片混乱和喜剧氛围中。

第5集：迷失的羔羊夏雨在一次意外中迷路了，全家人焦急寻找，过程中展现了家庭的力量和温暖。

第6集：新邻居夏家搬来了新邻居，两家人之间的互动和碰撞带来了不少笑料和启示。

第7集：冬泳全家参加冬泳活动，孩子们在锻炼中体会到了团队合作的重要性。

第8集：克隆刘星刘星意外被克隆，两个刘星的出现让家里陷入了一场混乱和欢笑。

第9集：特殊较量孩子们之间展开了一场特殊的较量，彼此之间的友谊和成长得到了加深。

第10集：天外来客夏家意外接待了一位“天外来客”，全家人的反应和应对方式令人捧腹大笑。

第11集：意外的周折一家人计划了一次外出活动，但过程中不断出现意外，让人哭笑不得。

第12集：不同待遇夏家三姐弟在面对父母时遭遇了不同的待遇，引发了内心的思考和反思。

第13集：锻炼全家人开始重视体育锻炼，孩子们在锻炼中体会到了成长和进步的快乐。

第14集：刘星从军记刘星参加了一次模拟军事训练，这次经历让他学会了独立和坚强。

第15集：自强自立孩子们在父母引导下开始学习自强自立，展现了他们的成长和进步。

第16集：两种恐惧夏家三姐弟各自面对不同的恐惧，他们如何在父母的帮助下克服这些恐惧成为本集看点。

第17集：儿子告老子刘星因为一次误会而将父亲告上了法庭，这场官司让全家人都陷入了深思。

第18集：无事生非家里平静的生活被一系列无事生非的小事打破，家人们如何在这些琐事中找到乐趣和成长是本集的重点。

第19集：拯救精灵夏雨意外发现了一个神秘的精灵，全家人一起展开了一场拯救精灵的冒险之旅。

第20集：神秘的礼物父母为孩子们准备了一份神秘的礼物，这份礼物不仅让孩子们惊喜万分，也让全家人感受到了深厚的爱意和家庭的温暖。

How could we don't have the same number of containers and lids?怎么盒子和盖子的数量不对应呢Why would they ever get separated?它们怎么会分开呢Built-up resentment, money issues,可能感情不和也可能经济问题met a younger lid.还可能跟年轻的盖子跑了Mom, whcre*s my science homework?妈妈我的科学作业哪去了Uh, it's over there on the table.就在那边的桌子上So, Alex, honey, what's going on?艾丽克斯宝贝最近怎么样Anything exciting?有啥新鲜事吗No.没有-Any boys?-No.-有喜欢的男孩吗-没有Fm feeling a little bit disconnected我觉得我和艾丽克斯之间from Alex right now.有代沟了Last week, I picked up her cellphone,就在上周thinking it was mine.我错拿了她的手机And I accidentally read a few flirty text messages 无意中看到几条暧昧短信that were probably from a boy in her class,如果是她班上的某个男生干的which is fine.那也就罢了Or they're from a drifter.就怕是哪个混混发的Come on, isn't there something 来嘛你就真没啥you want to share with your mommers?要告诉你"马马”的吗Yeah. Don't call yourself H Mommcrs.H有别自称"马马"He blew his lid when she tried to contain him.盒子想上盖子盖子爆发了Okay. What do you think?你觉得这件怎么样时间轴：向日葵的星后期&特效：WiLL总监：君君爱爱翻译：扣扣大卫熊四月海东方Vkvicky 校对：夏沫心时间轴：向日葵的星后期&特效：WiLL总监：君君爱爱■-I like it. -But you don t love it.-我喜欢-但不是特别喜欢No, I do. I love it.谁说的我爱死它了-As much as you loved the other one? - Ooh.-和刚才那件比-天Okay. Mm.好吧The house is on fire. I only have time to grab one shirt.房子着火了我只来得及拿一件衬衫Which one do I take?我选谁The correct answer is take Lily.带上莉莉才是正解After that.那之后呢Uh, okay, the blue one.好吧拿蓝色的那件Because the gray one washes me out.因为我穿灰色的显胖No, no. Cam, you - you can't go wrong here.不不不另U误会小卡Everything you*ve tried on looks great.你不管穿什么都美翻了I love you in both of them.两件都好搭你Oh, youre so nice to me.还是你疼我Mitchell has a problem with public displays of affection.米奇尔不喜欢在公众场合亲热Um, I remember once at a new year's eve party,我记得有一年的新年派对上stroke of midnight, he high-fived me.零点钟声一响他和我击掌庆祝Two problems with that -两个问题One, gays don't high-five.苜先同志不击掌Two, gays don*t high-fivc.其次同志不击掌Fm home!我回来啦Mmm, what smells so good?烧什么呢这么香Fm making chunchullo, a traditional Colombian dish,我在做圈圈肉哥伦比亚名菜呢for dinner with the family tonight.为了今晚的家庭聚餐准备的Chunchullo.圈圈肉What is that - like, uh. tacos?那是啥跟玉米卷差不多吗Yes, like tacos.对就跟玉米卷似的No, it isn't.才不是呢-It s the small intestine of a pig. - Oh, Geez.-这是猪肠做的-我的老天爷Why can't we eat regular food like normal people?我们就不能像其他人一样吃正常点儿吗I told you. Jay.我跟你说过滴杰My grandmother, who rests in peace,我那远在天国的奶奶has been coming to me in my drcams,曾经托梦给我telling me that Tm losing touch with my roots.告诫我不要忘本See, this is awkward,你看这下尴尬了because my dead uncle joe told me to have steak tonight.因为我死了的叔叔告诉我今晚该吃牛排No, no, no. Jay. Have some respect.不不不杰放尊重点My grandmother can hear you.我奶奶能听见你滴What do you mean, she can hear us?什么意思她能听到我们吗Well, in our culture.是这样滴在我们的文化里we believe that the dead arc all around us.我们相信死者的灵魂就在我们身边She's right, Manny.她说的对曼尼She could be right here,可能现在她就在你背后her bony fingers reaching out from the grave.从坟墓里伸出她那瘦骨嶙峋的手指Yeah, keep it up. Jay.厉害哦杰继续忽悠呀Thcres already one dead person in this room.这房子里已经有一个死人TYou want to make it two?你也想死是哇Fm sorry. I've got a printer to install.我错了我去装打印机Oh, Gloria, have your grandmother歌洛莉亚麻烦让你奶奶run me up an iced tea in about 10 minutes.十分钟后给我拿杯冰红茶来Yeah, she has a better chance of making that work than you!是啊她要活着滴话干得比你好Why don't you save us the stomping and the swearing and call Phil?你打电话给菲尔啊省得一会你搞砸了乂叫乂骂He's good at that stuff•他这方面比较牛Better than me?能有我牛Phil's not better than me at anything,菲尔任何方面都没我牛Except maybe making that stupid sound with his mouth,他也就只会怪叫啥的A what, what 咋咋样You spit on me,你口水喷我脸上了Haley, honey, urn, I need you to do something for me.宝贝海莉来帮我个忙Ugh. Mom, my arm hurts.啊妈我手痛Why don't you find out what it is你都不知道我找你啥事before you start making up excuses to get out of it? 着急编瞎话干嘛Okay, what is it?好吧说吧I need you to talk to your sister•我要你去和你妹妹谈谈I think that thcres something going on with her and a boy.我觉得她和某个男孩子有暧昧So?然后So, I am your mother, and it is my job to make sure 然后我是你们的妈妈that you girls don't get involved with a predator.确保你们不被坏蛋给剥皮吃了Okay, mom, stop watching "Dateline."得了吧妈妈别再看新闻联播了And why can't you just talk to her?你自己怎么不去和她谈I have tried to talk to her.我试过了I -- she won't talk to me. You know that.她不会跟我开口的你懂的That's because you get so weird every time a boy comes near us.因为一有男孩接近我们你就变得神经质I-I just don,t want you girls to --我只是不想你们这些女孩子-To make the same mistakes that you did? - No! .重蹈你的覆辙吗-不是No.当然不是Mom, Tm not an idiot.老妈我乂不傻I pick up on things.我看得出来And I don't think that you were the good girl 你可不是你□中描述的you pretend you were.那种好女孩Wow. That is so untrue.夫哪你大错特错了I was a very good girl. Mm,你不知道我以前有多乖Your kids don*t need to know 孩子不需要知道They need to know who you wish you were,他们只需了解你想要的完美形象and they need to try to live up to that person,还必须以你为榜样They're gonna fall short,他们可能达不到这个标准but better they fall short of the fake you但参照人物是虚构的完美的你than the real you.肯定比真实的你强Which is why we doift hide anything.所以我们从不隐瞒That's the opposite of what I just said•你说的和我的刚好相反I was not listening.我溜号了I'll say it again - I love you in paisley.我还得说一遍我喜欢你穿这件佩斯利Oh, let me lock the door and draw the curtains.不如先关好门拉好窗帘What does that mean?你什么意思-It doesn't mean anything. -Good.-什么意思都没有-很好You know exactly what it means.你当然知道我什么意思You won't kiss me in front of other people 你不在别人面前亲我because you're ashamed of who you are.是因为你不能正视自己And, yes...I went there.没错我就是戳你痛处了Okay, you can't say," Yes, I went there," 你不能拿戳我当乐事when you go there all the time.还企图用过去式And. by the way. I'm the one who makes speeches on airplanes 再说了每次飞机上有人对咱们另眼相待every time someone looks at us weird.可都是我站出来教育他们Fm the one who gives my dad hell我爸爸说你是我"朋友”的时候when he refers to you as my "Friend."也是我跟他挑明挖烂了理论That*s different. That*s confrontation,那不一样那是正面冲突But you know what takes real strength?但你知道什么才最需要勇气吗Whining?抱怨吗-Affection. -Oh, this is insane.-是表达爱意-受不了了Buying a shirt --it's not a kiss-worthy moment.买衬衫有什么可亲的Oh, I didn*t know there was an official list.我不知道这还有官方规定Please, tell us - what is on the list?求你告诉我什么时候能亲I'll tell you what's not on the list -我告诉你什么时候不亲吧Finding jalapeno-stuffed olives,吃了夹辣椒的橄榄making the light on maple,给枫树挂灯泡的时候every time we see a V.W.看到大众车的时候也不亲You don't like "Kiss-buggy"?你不喜欢玩"亲亲甲壳虫”［看到大众甲壳虫车就亲亲］It's not a real game!那根本就不是游戏It - its just another way for you to be needy.那不过是你黏人的一种方式I -- and I don't appreciate you making me feel bad 你可别想把我搞得很内疚because I can't live up to your impossible standards.因为我可达不到你那离谱的标准Nobody kisses at a bowling alley!没人在保龄球馆接吻I almost got a turkey!我差点打出三击全中H Yello M?侬好Oh, hey, Jay. Just a sec. I'll go get Claire.你好杰等下我找克莱尔去Oh, actually, ifs you Fm calling.其实我找你What was that?什么声音The cat. There's a cat. What's up?是猫有只猫什么事Well, Glorias been missing her grandmother.歌洛莉亚很想念她的外婆Fve been trying to get this old picture of her printed,我一直想打印出一张她的照片but I can^ get this new printer to ~但是新的打印机我…Fil be right there.我马上到Luke, grandpa needs us!卢克外公需要我们Hells yes. I was glad to get the call.接到电话我当然很高兴Jay*s always around here fixing things,杰总来我家修东西cracking jokes about my H Delicate hands” 嘲笑我柔弱的双手or my gag response to the smell of paint.还有我一闻油漆就吐Look who needs me now看看谁来求哥了Mr. Hot-dog fingers who can't press "Print""手好粗”先生每次想按打印键without hitting three extra keys.他那胖手都会多按好几个按钮Yeah!真菜Youre in my house now. Jay!你可是在我的主场杰T-technically, well be in his house,准确的说我要去他的地盘迎战but we*ll be in my area...但是他的地盘of his house.哥做主So, I hear you have a boyfriend.我听说你有男朋友了-No. I don't. - Who is he?-哪有-他是谁-I'm not talking to you about this. - Oh, come on.-我才不告诉你呢-说吧Youre finally interesting. Just tell me.你总算有点八卦可挖了快说呗He's not my boyfriend.他不是我男友It*s Jeremy Reed.他叫杰里米•瑞德It*s - he*s just this boy that I -不过是个男孩我…-Love? - No!-爱他-没有Well, have you guys kissed yet?你们接吻了吗No!没有Well, what are you waiting for?那你等什么呢I'm not waiting. I'm 13.我没等人家才13岁And you've never kiss boy?你还没亲过男生How old were you?你初吻什么时候Like 11. 11岁的时候吧And it was beautiful.唯美极了I was in Jackson Kancr's carpeted garage.是在杰克逊・肯纳家铺了地毯的车库里-11?-Yeah. -11 岁-是啊So you better get on it,你最好也抓紧or else he's gonna think yoifre a lesbian.要不然他会觉得你是拉拉He's not going to think I'm a lesbian.他才不会认为我是拉拉I thought you were.我就以为你是You totally have the sandals for it.你那凉鞋很拉拉Let's see this bad boy.我们来看看出了什么问题Oh, a P-750. Nice unit. P-750型不错I would have sprung for the 840,要是我会选840那款But I get it 一但是我知道not everyone can handle that kind of horsepower.不是谁都能玩转这种高级货的I thought maybe the cordless phone was interfering,我以为是无线电话干扰了信号so I unplugged it.我就给它拔了Good idea. Maybe we should run downstairs 好主意也许我们应该下楼and unplug the toaster while were at it.把面包机也拔了Oh, snap. dad.幽默啊老爸Toaster.面包机Were kidding.开玩笑A cordless phone is 5.8 gigahertz. This is wi-fi.无线电话是5.8千兆赫这个是无线网络It*s a totally different spectrum.用的不是一个频谱Walk with me?跟我来Here's a little trick that I've found pretty useful with Claire.教克莱尔使用电器的时候我发明了个小诀窍The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk 电脑和打印机必须要交流流流commancl-p H Makes the picture walk, walk, walk'1 command+p［苹果快捷键］图片就出来了了7How come it's not working?好像没反应啊It should be.不应该啊Okay.好吧Uh, that should be printing.应该开始打印了So...应该是…Hey, Phil, I'm gonna get a beer, beer, beer 菲尔在打的你头头头之前Before I hit you in the head, head, head.我要先喝杯啤酒酒酒Hey. What are you doing here?嘿有事吗Hi. Jeremy. I want to ask you something.杰里米我有问题想问你-Sure, ask - Wait, don't talk yet.-好问-等等你先别出声Here is the thing.是在这么回事We've texting for a while, and it's been nice,我们短信已经发了一段时间了这样挺好but I feel like it's leading to something else,但我感觉我们不止于此and I don't know if you do or not,我不知道你有没有这种感觉but I guess what Pm trying to say is,我要说的是Fm just a girl standing in front of a boy我只是一个女孩站在一个男孩面前asking for him to like her.请他喜欢她Oh, god, that's from "Notting hill."不对这句是《诺丁山》的台词So dorky. But a really underrated movie.太老套了不过这绝对是部被低估的电影What's happening?你想表达什么Pm not a lesbian.我不是拉拉I would like for you to kiss me.我想你亲我Oh, I love watching you stir.我喜欢看你搅拌的样子Then I will stop.那我就停下What? Arc you still mad at me?怎么你还生我的气Yes. You have to apologize for making fun of my culture, my beliefs,是你要为取笑我滴文化我滴信仰my chunchullo, my abucla.我滴圈圈肉我滴奶奶而道歉Fm sorry.对不起If you think your Grandmothers here with us,如果你认为你奶奶也在这里I respect that.我表示尊重Now, come here.来抱抱Oh, Grandma! Whcrc'd you come from?奶奶你从哪冒出来的We're gonna have to get you a little bell.看来我们要给你系个小铃铛才行Enough, Jay!够了杰My culture is very important to me!我的文化对我很重要Fve been working all day to share it with your family tonight,为了今晚跟你滴家人吃饭我忙了一整天and all you do is mock me!你却只管嘲笑我Just go!走开Honey, I'm sorry.亲爱的对不起Fm just teasing you.我只是逗你玩Instead of being the comedian, why don't you help me?有时间当小丑干嘛不帮我What do you need?要我干什么-Slap the chicken. - Do what?-拍鸡肉-干什么In Colombia, when you cook in honor of the departed.在哥伦比亚为了表示对死者的尊重you have to scare death away from the food烹饪前要把死神从食物吓走to protect the people that arc gonna eat it.以保护将要吃此食物滴人Slap it and yell. 一边拍一边叫That*s the nuttiest -那也太傻缺了-Jay!-Calm down.-杰-淡定Give me the chicken.鸡肉拿来Here we go.拍就拍That*s not scaring anything away.介么轻什么也吓不跑When my grandfather used to cook,以前我爷爷做饭滴时候the whole house would shake.整间房子都在颤抖Louder.大声点Higher.调高点Louder!不够大声Higher! Louder! There!调再高声再大这才差不多I made all that up.我瞎编滴That is not a real custom in Colombia.哥伦比亚没有这个习俗We're not lunatics.我们乂不是精神错乱But you mess with us, and we mess with you.但你惹姐不高兴姐也不让你舒坦That's the custom,这才素我们的习俗Louder!大声点Hey, honey. Where^ you go?亲爱的你去哪了Nowhere. Just for a bike ride.哪也没去就骑了会脚踏车Oh, my god! Puh-lcase tell me this text is wrong!我的天求求你告诉我这短信纯属虚构Did you really just go over to that kid s house 你真跑去那个小屁孩的家and try and kiss him in front of a million people?!在众目睽睽之下跟他索吻-Alex, did you do that? - You got a text?-艾丽克斯你真这么做了 -你收到短信爆料了Oh, yeah. Everybody knows.当然地球人都知道了Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?!你知道这让我有多尴尬吗This is all your fault!这都是你的错Yourc the one who said I had to kiss him or I was a lesbian!是你说我如果不跟他接吻就是拉拉Haley! Did you say that to her?!海莉你真这么说了Oh, don't turn this on me. Look at her shoes!别扯到我身上你看她穿的那双鞋Ugh! Fm never going back to school now.我永远都不要去上学了No, sweetheart. Yes, you arc. You are going back to school.不亲爱的你要你要去上学But listen to me- Just because a boy sends you flirty texts,但听我说男生给你发暧昧短信Doesn't mean that 并不表示-you have to text him back - what?! You read my texts?!-你要回复他-什么你偷看我短信-1…-You read her texts?!-我…-你偷看她短信That's why you made me talk to her?!这就是为什么你要我跟她谈You made her talk to me?!是你让她跟我谈的I kind of feel like we're spinning out here a little bit.我觉得我们现在把话题扯远了Look. Alex, the important thing here 艾丽克斯重点是Is that you have to be very careful how you behave around boys 你跟男生的交往要格外小心Because it is so easy to get a reputation.要不你很容易就把名声给毁了Well, I'm sorry I'm not a perfect little good girl like you were!我很抱歉我不像你是那么完美的乖乖女Were you?你乖吗Were you?!你乖吗？！I highly doubt it!我严重怀疑Don't be such a chicken. There's no ghost in here.胆子别这么小这里根本没有什么鬼魂Fm telling you. my Mom said her dead grander was in the house.我说真的我妈说她过世的奶奶就在这She said she felt her here this morning...她说她今天早上感觉到她的存在In this room.就在这个房间Maybe your Mom's mentally ill.也许你妈精神病Who puts a router... in the attic?是哪个天刹的把路由器…放在阁楼里Did she have a limp and a cane?她是不是腿脚不便杵着一根相杖Ghost of Manny*s great-grandma,曼尼曾祖母的鬼魂if that's really you,如果真是你Show yourself!快快显灵That's her!这就是我曾祖母Come on!怎么会Why?!为什么Why?!!为什么？!！-Hi. grandpa.- How we doing, girls?-外公好-你们好吗孩子们Mom ruined my life today.我今天算是被妈妈毁了-I didn't ruin your life. I was - don't even talk to me!-我没有我是-不要和我说话I didn't even want to come here.我根本都不想来这Well, okay.好了Snacks and and sodas are in the living room,点心和苏打水在客厅But don't fill up -- we've got intestines coming.别吃太饱一会还要吃猪肠Uh, dad, if you re looking for your shoes,那个爸如果你在找鞋I think I know where they are.我晓得在哪儿This happens to be a Colombian custom -这是个哥伦比亚风俗Walking in the footsteps of the ancestors, blah, blah, blah.追随祖先的足迹啥啥啥的Beats slapping the chicken.总比让我拍鸡肉好过Here, I brought you a drink.来我给你拿了杯喝的Oh, wait a minute -- 等一下Sip it first.你先喝一口I'm not mad at you.我没生你气I thought about it, and maybe you're right.我想了一下也许你是对的I can be a little needy sometimes.有时候我是有点粘人了Oh, well, I-I appreciate that.喔谢谢你那么说And you re probably not entirely off base.当然也不全是你的错I mean, lord knows I-Fve got my quirks.我是说天知道我自己也很怪咖And I-Fm not the most demonstrative guy around,我不是个爱感情外露的人But Pm - I'm working on it.但是我在改-And Fm gonna help you with it. -Good.-我会帮你的-好Just don't give up on me.别失去耐心Never.永远不会Okay, everybody, lct r s gather around!大家伙都过来Jay, come here.杰过来Tonight wc dine on the traditional Colombian recipes 今晚我们吃传统哥伦比亚菜of my abuela, my grandmother.我奶奶的拿手菜［abuela西班牙语里祖母的意思］And even though she's no longer with me,尽管她已经不在了I am very happy because I have all of you.但素我很高兴因为我有你们To ana-maria rosa de la immaculada jimenez morales.为了我的祖母干杯［祖母名字不要太~长］To ana-maria rosa...为… 那谁干杯That was beautiful. Gloria,歌洛莉亚太美好了just like my Mitchell.就像我的米奇尔一样Just slipped right off there.好滑Ay, Cameron, what happened?卡梅隆怎么了One moment you were there,刚才你还坐在那the next, only shoes. 一股眼滴功夫就只看见鞋子了I'll tell you what happened --我告诉你是怎么回事Of course wc doiVt.当然不需要Oh, Tm sorry that I don't want to make out with you真对不起我不想当着我全家人的面in front of my whole family.和你亲热No need to apologize.不用道歉Oh. Gloria is right.歌洛莉亚说的对Dad, you being so emotionally closed off爸爸你这么封闭自己的感情makes it very difficult for your children to show affection.影响了你的孩子也很难表达自己的感情-Really? - Yes.-是吗-没错You had trouble showing affection in public places?你在公共场合也不善于表达感情-Yes!-You?-Yes.-对-你吗-是的Was that before or after那是在你什么也没穿you were delivered to my door in a squad car,只穿着内衣披着警察局的毯子wearing nothing but your underwear and a police blanket?被巡逻车送到我门口之前还是之后Oh, my god. What? You were arrested?天哪什么你进去过-Awesome! - Not awesome.-太给力了 -给什么力And I wasn't arrested.我没有被逮捕Your grandfather was just telling a joke.你们外公只是在开玩笑It was just a joke. I got a million of 'em.玩笑吗我能讲N个呢Dad.爸爸I did it!我成功啦It's printing!能打印了I had to download new firmware, install new drivers,我下载了新固件安装了新的驱动程序change your encryption, and replace an ethernet cable 改了你的加密码还在蒸笼似的阁楼上in a 100-degree attic,换了条以太网线缆while dodging particularly aggressive spiders, 一边还得防着点蜘蛛but I did it!但是我做到了Thanks.谢谢Oh. Okay. I guess thats it.喔看来就这样了What? What's it?什么就怎么样了Wake up, dummy.还不明白吗傻瓜This is what we're talking about.这就是我们说的This guy's been working like an imbecile all day for you.这家伙像白痴一样给你忙活了一天People need something else - kisses, hugs.我们还需要别的东西亲吻拥抱What, for fixing a printer?什么就为了修理个打印机吗Oh, it's fine. It was only four hours.也没什么只用了四个小时I tipped over a paint can and threw up a little,我让一个油漆桶绊倒了小吐了一下But I think - I think "Thanks” about covers B 但是我想我想这句"谢谢”也够了Well, whats wrong with "Thanks"?是啊说“谢谢"怎么了It's pretty much the bare minimum, dad.爸爸这几乎是最低程度的感激了Jay, for god*s sakes, just say something.杰看在上帝份上说点什么You want me to say something?你想让我说点什么吗How about "You're welcome0?那"欢迎你们”怎么样How about "I'm -- I'm so happy to be here for you all ”我很高兴你们大家都能来”so I can take the blame for all your crap J ”所以我才能在这享受你们的碎碎念”吗I don't do this,我做不来I never did that.我从来也不做这个Trust me. I gave you twice相信我我给你们的己经比我父亲as much as my father ever gave me.给我的要多出一倍了The man kissed me one time in my entire life.他一辈子就吻过我一次He came up behind me, kissed me on the back of the head,他走到我身后亲了下我的后脑勺said. "Goodnight, Becky.” 对我说晚安贝奇He thought I was my sister•他竟然把我当成了我妹妹Wait a minute.等一下When was the last time you kissed Mitch?你上次亲米奇是什么时候What does that have to do with anything?这都哪跟哪啊Mitch, when was the last time he kissed you?米奇他上次亲你是什么时候I-I doift remember.我记不得了-It wasn't that long ago. -1 was 12.-又没多久-我12岁的时候12? This is the problem! 12岁这就是问题所在Jay*s dad doesn't kiss Jay,杰的老爸不亲杰so Jay doe11 kiss Mitch, and Mitch is uptight.所以杰就不亲米奇从而导致米奇灰常保守Okay, okay, "Uptight” was really not on the table.好了好了现在不是谈我保不保守的事This is more about kissing.我们是在谈亲吻Jay, kiss your son. Hc*s a mess.杰亲吻你的儿子他简直一团糟Oh, come on, now.不会吧现在吗Wc don't have to do that. It's… 我们其实不必这么做的-Yes, you do. - No. - Come on.-你要做-不Come on, do it. You're in front of your grandchildren.快滴亲嘛孙辈们都看着呢All right, all right! Shut up!好吧好吧别吵了Mitch, get over here.米奇过来W-what, now? Well, I feel weird now.什么现在吗我觉得太诡异了Don't be coy.别扭扭捏捏的What arc you waiting for, a box of chocolates?你还等什么呢一盒巧克力吗Lct*s do this.过来亲亲That's the sweetest thing Fve ever seen.这是我见过的最甜蜜的事了All right, and now because I never want to hear this again.就这样我现在可不想再听到有人抱怨You.到你了Not you.没你的事Oh, daddy. I love you.爸爸我爱你Lct*s go eat chunchullo!我们来吃圈圈肉吧You know its made of pig intestines, right?那是用猪肠做的对吗Alex, wait.艾丽克斯等一下-What? -1 want to talk to you.-怎么了 -我想和你谈谈Mom, I don*t want another lecture.妈妈我不想再听你的那些说教了It*s not a lecture. I want to tell you something.不是说教我想告诉你一些事情Honey, I know exactly how you re feeling.亲爱的我完全了解你现在的心情No, you don't.不你不了解Okay, the -- the joke that grandpa told tonight?好吧还记得今晚外公讲的那个笑话吗That - that happened.确确实有这么回事That...That was true,那是真的So, you were arrested naked?这么说你真裸着被抓过I wasn*t naked!我没裸And I was not arrested per se.而且我本身也没有被抓I was driven home one night by the police我只是有天晚上被警车送回家because my boyfriend and I而这是因为我和我男友had gone swimming in somebody s pool, 没带泳衣and we didn't have bathing suits and -- blah, blah. blah.就跑去别人的水池里游泳等等等等The details areiVt important.细节不重要What matters is that everybody at school was talking about it.关键在于学校里每个人都在谈论这件事And I thought I would die.我当时以为自己死定了But it passed.不过这事儿也就这么过去了I swear.我发誓And now, honey, Fm - Em glad it happened.而现在宝贝我很高兴有这么回事Fvc got a funny story to tell at dinner parties.这让我在晚宴时有笑料可说So, how long did it take before you thought it was funny?那你花了多久才觉得这事儿有趣的Oh, god…老天10J5 years.十到十五年吧Great. What do I do about tomorrow?好极了我明天怎么办I don't think you have to worry about that.我认为你不需要担心这个Go, go, go.去吧去吧In Colombia, we kiss for everything,在哥伦比亚我们常常亲吻because a kiss can mean so many different things.因为一个吻可以有辣么多涵义Thcres no ghost in here, is there?这儿没鬼吧Not a chance.当然没Sleep easy, kid.睡个好觉孩子It can be the start of something new.它可能素一个全新的开始It can be how wc say, "This is the person that I love.H也可能素我们说"这是我的爱人”的方式So who's a better kisser, me or your dad?谁吻功更高我还是你老爸Ew.恶［与“你”音相近］It can be romantic,也可能会很浪漫Just so you know, if my friends weren't there,只是想告诉你要是我朋友不在那儿的话I would've said yes.我会答应你的So, if you still want to...所以要是你还愿意的话If it's okay...要是可以的话Maybe we should hang out more first.或许我们应该先多约会几次This is only the second conversation we've had 毕竟这是我们除了短信之外that wasiVt by text.第二次说话It can also be worth waiting for,也可能会值得等待Jay, what is this?杰这是什么Just another nice thing I did for you 不过是你要我的时候while you made a fool of me,我为你做的另一件好事罢了Manny let me in on your little tricks.曼尼把你的小把戏都告诉我了You feel bad now?你现在不爽了吗No. I feel good.不我感觉灰常好That one is definitely my favorite.那照片绝对是我的最爱PhiL you really don*t have to do this,菲尔你真的不必这么做No. I-I can do it. I wanna do it.不我能做到我想这么做It's silly to pay someone else just to do something --花钱请人来做这个真是太蠢了Oh, no! Oh!哦不Oh. wait; No, no, don't spill it!等等别别千万别洒出来Sweetie, doiVt spill that!亲爱的别把它洒出来Oh, that's on me!你弄我身上去了Careful! Oh. gosh!小心点我的天啊Okay, get up. You're fine.没事的站起来你没事的-Get it off! - Okay. I got it.-把它弄掉-好的我来弄I got it. Got it off. Got it off.我来弄脱掉了脱掉了-Oh, the face! - Not the face!-我的脸-没弄你的脸-Oh. the face! - AH right,・我的脸-看到了I'll pull it down! You're good!我会帮你擦掉的你没事的All right, I'm gonna have to 好吧我得去-It's on me.-I'll cut it off.-弄得我一身都是-我来把衣服剪了Good idea.好主意Get a bucket, please!帮我拿个桶快点。

Oh my God, that's so freaking funny. 天啊真是笑死我了I know, right? 那是我写的嘛What? 你们在笑啥Dad just wrote another classic one. Tell her. 老爸又出品经典之作给她讲讲I don't know about "Classic," but here we go. "经典"可不敢当不过笑话是这样的I don't know about "Classic," but here we go. [此处story双关"楼层"和"故事"]"If you're looking for a two-story house," "如果您想买一幢双层小楼""I'm your man." "那可真找对人了""I'll tell you one story before you buy it" "我会在您付款之前讲第一个故事""and then another story after." "付款之后再讲一个"No, you didn't! 哈哈太经典了Tonight is the S.C.A.R.B.. 今晚是S.C.A.R.B.之夜The Southern California Annual Realtor's Banquet. 南加州房产经纪人年度宴会I think they know what it is. 我猜他们应该知道这个吧It's the mother of all 这可是其他所有residential-real-estate banquets. 住宅地产类宴会的鼻祖Now, for the last five years, Gil Thorpe has hosted, 过去五年来这宴会都是吉尔·索普在主持but as luck would have it, 但凑巧的是he's having a sketchy-looking polyp remove. 他最近在做一个很恶心的息肉切除手术So they've asked me to..."Phil in." 所以他们就来找我说 "菲尔上"So they've asked me to..."Phil in." ["Phil in"套用"fill in" 后者意为替补上场]- See what I did? - Oh, yeah. -你听出笑点没 -当然"Phil." "菲尔[同音词Fill]"You think I should open with that? 我可以用这个作开场白吗You betcha. You should. 当然了这还用问吗Phil is gonna bomb. 菲尔一定会颜面扫地It's not that he's not fun. He is so fun. 不是说他不幽默他很自娱自乐He's just not funny. 只是他的笑话都太冷了It's probably my fault, 在这一点上我也有责任because I laugh at all of his jokes. 因为他开口我必笑With my mouth not with my eyes. 皮笑肉不笑"I see the great realtor Margaret Wilson is here,""我看到优秀的房产经纪人玛格丽特·威尔逊来了""looking more curvaceous than ever." "看上去比以往更加丰满迷人""Talk about your balloon payments." "说你那一屁股的债呢“"Talk about your balloon payments." [balloonpayment指分期付款中最后一笔较大金额的付款]Gloria, do we have to keep 歌洛莉亚我们一定要留着这盘this Colombia/Brazil soccer game? 哥伦比亚对战巴西的足球赛录像带吗Yes, I haven't seen it yet. 是滴我一直都没看完这场It's been sitting in there for five months. 这录像已经录好五个月了I mean, I can tell you who wins. 我是说我可以告诉你谁赢了And what about this two-hour 那这盘两个小时的"Antiques roadshow"? 《古董路演》节目录像带又是怎么回事"Antiques roadshow"? [古董路演] 美国一档电视鉴宝节目I'll watch it today. 我今天想把它看掉Fine. I'm gonna play some golf. 好吧那我要去打高尔夫了No. What about Mirabel's daughter's Quinceanera? 不行你还要参加米拉贝尔的女儿的成年礼呢No. What about Mirabel's daughter's Quinceanera? 拉美女孩十五岁生日要盛大庆祝以示其成年I honestly didn't get any of that. 完全不知道你在讲神马Mirabel. She works for you. 米拉贝尔是你的员工Okay. 好吧然后呢Her daughter, Rosalba, is celebrating her Quinceanera, 她女儿罗莎芭今晚要举行成人礼her 15th birthday. 这是她的十五岁生日She invited us. You just going to ignore it. 她邀请了咱俩但你完全无视了Of course not. I get this all the time. 我才没有我一直都记得这码事I throw it on my secretary's desk, 我把这事丢给我秘书了and she sends them an Omaha steak. 她给了他们一份奥马哈牛排当礼物- Ay, Jay. - What?! -唉杰 -咋了Manny's right. 曼尼说得对The Quinceanera is very important in the Latin Culture.女孩的成年礼在拉丁文化中是灰常重要滴The moment the father dances with his little princess. 作父亲的要带着他的小公主翩翩起舞Ay, I remember my own father holding my hand. 我还记得我爸爸拉着我滴手跳舞的时候There wasn't a dry eye in the cartel. 在场滴人无不内牛满面But these people don't want me there. 但那些人不会欢迎我去参加的See, they're just being polite. 明白吗他们只是客气一下I'm the boss. 我是他们的头儿That's what you tell yourself 你这是自欺欺人so you can stay above them. 你就是骑在人民头上作威作福You just throw them an "Obama" Steak 你就扔给他们一个什么"奥巴马"牛排and run to the golf course. 然后就打你的高尔夫去了I'm not trying to stay above them. 我可没有高高在上I just don't think 我只是不想I have to go all "arriba, arriba" with them. 去他们那什么"叽里呱啦"的事儿里凑热闹- Because you're better than them? - No, of course not. -因为你比他们都强 -当然不是I mean, I'm better than some of them. 我是说我只比其中一些人强点而已Do you even know these people, Jay, hmm? 乃根本都不认识这些人对不对杰Or they're just the backs you step on? 还是说他们根本就只是乃的垫脚石I know you like to make me out as an elitist, 我知道你不肯承认我是一枚杰出人士but the truth is, I'm close with these people. 但事实上我相当亲民Then prove it. Just go to the party. 那就去参加成人礼证明给我看Fine. One hour. You drive. 好吧只去一个小时你来开车'Cause I don't want to give my valet ticket to the wrong guy, 因为我怕把泊车卡给错人have you all over me. 这样你就又能唠叨我了Ay, Jay. 唉杰Where do you keep popping out from?! 你到底都是从哪儿钻出来的So, Cam has started working out again, 小卡现在又开始健身了which is -- it's -- it's great. 这是这真的是件好事He's feeling good about himself, 瘦身可以让他自我感觉更加良好and I want him to be healthy, 而我只想让他健健康康的So it is all good. 所以这本来是天大的好事Except for one thing. 只可惜有一件事Knock, knock. 当当当Look who's there. 看看谁来了Maybe there's a person in this world 或许世界上真的有人who looks good in bike shorts. 能把单车热裤穿得好看But my boyfriend is not that person. 但我男人肯定不是其中之一And I-I can't tell him because he gets incredibly sensitive 可我不能告诉他因为但凡影射到他体型about even the tiniest comment concerning his physique.哪怕最不经意的一句话都能让他飙从中来Hey, I think I'm gonna take this spin class tomorrow morning. 嘿我明天早上想去上一节动感单车课Oh, sure. 哦去吧Oh, I get it. Message received. 哦好吧我明白你的意思了I didn't say anything! 我啥也没说啊I didn't say anything! 《摩登家庭》第二季第四集Okay, can't you just run like a normal person? 拜托你就不能像正常人一样跑跑步吗What? It's troga. 你说啥我在做跑珈It's what? 这是啥You never heard of troga? 你连"跑珈"都木有听过I hate it when you do that. 我真的很讨厌你这种口气What? 啥口气"You've never heard of troga?" "你连跑珈都不知道吗""You never tried octopus?" "你连章鱼都没尝过吗""You never did this amazing thing" "你就连那么有趣的事都不知道吗""I just discovered yesterday "我也是昨天才知道but I pretend like I've done my whole life?" 但非得装成自己像是一出生就知道一样" So, troga is treadmill yoga. 总之 "跑珈"是指在跑步机上做瑜伽It's de rigueur. 这可是社交之中必备的哦It's de-dorky. 我看是蠢蛋社交必备吧What is your deal today? 你今天吃火药了I'm sorry. Phil is hosting that thing tonight, 不好意思菲尔今晚要去主持宴会and -- and he's been writing jokes. 他现在正憋在家里写段子呢Ooh, yikes. 哎呀I know. 我就知道And I'm worried he's gonna humiliateself 我真的很担心in front of all those important people. 他会在那些大人物面前丢脸I can't say anything because -- 可是我又不能跟他直说No, no. I get it. I get it. I get it. 不用讲了我了解了Because it would hurt him even more coming from you. 因为你的打击会令他倍感沮丧Yeah. 没错You know, I'm kind of going through something similar 其实我和小卡现在的处境with Cam right now. 跟你俩的有点像- Why? - He's started exercising again. -你们咋了 -他又开始健身了Well, that's good for him. 这是好事呀Yeah. He's wearing bike shorts. 没错但他一直穿着单车热裤健身That's bad for you. 你肯定很郁闷And I'm the last person who can say anything, 而我又是最不能跟他说实话的那个人- because he's... - Yeah. -因为他实在 -我懂Okay, wait. No, no. All right. 诶等等不是我有主意了You know the movie "Strangers On A Train"? 你看过电影《火车怪客》吗You know the movie "Strangers On A Train"?电影《火车怪客》为希区柯克1951年导演的悬疑片Hm, I never saw it. 呃我没看过You've never seen "Strangers On A --" 你连《火车怪客》都没...I'm sorry. Great film. 我错了牛片But it's these guys 片中有两个人who both discover that they want someone out of their lives. 都想杀死自己身边的某人Uh-huh. 然后呢So one of the guys proposes the perfect crime. 然后其中一个人想了一个完美的杀人计划They will do each other's murders. 他们去替对方杀人We should do that. 我们也应该这样做All right, 好吧你是说so I would tell Cam to lose the bike shorts? 由我来告诉小卡丢掉那条蠢裤子Keeping me out of it. 假装跟我无关And I tell Phil to lose the jokes. 我去弄停菲尔的笑话I like it. I'm in. 我喜欢这主意我加入-All right!- I am in! -太好了 -我加入Hey, Mackenzie. Stop it. It's Alex. 嘿麦肯齐等等我是艾丽克斯Hey, so I was thinking later we'd -- 我想我们等会Oh, no. Whatever you want. 不用你想怎样都行Call me later! 等会儿打给我Or I'll call you later, or -- 或者我等会打给你或者So, who's Mackenzie? 麦肯齐是谁You don't know her. 你不认识她Oh, I know Mackenzie. 我当然知道麦肯齐Cute. Popular. 漂亮受人欢迎I am Mackenzie. 我就是麦肯齐I invented Mackenzie. 我简直就是麦肯齐的鼻祖And the way she's making my sister run around... 而她把我妹耍的团团转的样子It's -- it's kind of funny, but... 还真蛮好玩的不过I can't have it. It's bad for the family. 我受不了家人为重What are you doing? I was about to call -- 你干嘛呢我正要打电话给Mackenzie? Yeah, I know. 麦肯齐我知道Now shut up and let me help you. 现在闭上你的嘴让我来帮你The world is divided into two groups -- 这个世界有两种人cool girls and girls like you. 酷女孩儿和像你这样的女孩儿And you have been given a rare opportunity 而你正有一个千载难逢的机会to move from the former to the latter. 能够从前者变为后者The latter to the former. 是从后者变为前者吧Whatever. Oh, my god. You're such a geek. 管它呢天啊你还真够二的Now, do you want to be smart, or do you want to be popular?你现在是想要聪明还是要受人欢迎I think I want to be popular. 我想要受人欢迎Of course you do. 你当然想啦You just can't be so obvious about it. 但你不能表现的太明显You've given Mackenzie way too much power, 你给麦肯齐太多主动权了and you need to take some of that power back. 你自己得拽起来It's her. 是她的Give me the phone. 把电话给我Here's what you're gonna say -- 你就这么说"Hey, Mackenzie. I'm busy. Call me back later." 麦肯齐我很忙等会儿你再打来- Then you hang up.- No way! -然后你就挂断 -绝对不行Then you're not getting the phone back. 那你就再也拿不回这手机了Just give it to me. 把它给我"Hey, Mackenzie. I'm busy. 麦肯齐我很忙Call me back later." Then you hang up. 等会儿你再打来然后你就挂断- I can't. - Do it. -我做不到 -就这么做- No! - Do it! -不行 - 就这么做Okay! Damn you. 好吧去你的Hey, Mackenzie. I'm busy. Call me back later. 麦肯齐我很忙等会儿你再打来That was hard. 太难了If it was easy, everyone would be popular. 要是容易的话谁都能受人欢迎了Knock knock! 有人敲门啦Come on in! It's open! 进来吧门没关I just wanted to drop off these old baby clothes for Lily. 我带了些旧的童装来给莉莉Oh, that's right. You're so sweet. 好的你人太好了I hope I didn't come at a bad time. 我希望自己来的别不是时候Not at all. 一点也不I was just deciding where to take Lily for our bike ride -- 我正考虑要带莉莉去哪儿骑车呢The lake or the park. 湖边还是公园I'm leaning towards the park. 我比较倾向于去公园I can see that. 我看得出来You didn't have to do that. 你太客气了You guys are a touch old class. 你们还真是传统- Well, it is a big night for you, so. - French. -今晚对你很重要 -法国红酒Those guys. 这些家伙啊So, have you given any thought to what you might say? 那你想好要说什么了吗Oh, actually, I'm trying not to think about my act right now. 事实上我现在正努力不让自己想这事I'm kind of fighting the old butterflies, to be honest. 说实话我内心有点挣扎That's normal. 很正常I hear The Jonas Brothers get scared before every concert.我听说乔纳斯兄弟在每次演出前都会害怕Not Kevin? The guy's a rock. 凯文不会的吧那家伙可摇滚了Especially Kevin. 尤其是凯文I can't believe I ever bought this for Alex. 我真不敢相信我居然给艾丽克斯买过这个I wish somebody had said something. 我真希望当时有人能说点什么Oh, come on. That was probably cute 10 years ago. 别这样啦这衣服十年前可能很可爱呢No, no. It never was. 不不从来没有And you know -- 你知道的I'm the exact same way about my clothes. 我的衣服也是这样Most of the time, great. 大多数时候很不错But every now and again, there's that one outfit. 不过时不时的就会有那么一件例外I just wish somebody would be honest with me and say, 我真希望当时有人能对我实话实说"What you're wearing is inappropriate." 你的穿着实在是雷人哇Do you know what I mean? 你懂我意思吗I think I do, Claire. 我懂克莱尔I think I do. 我懂And my answer is yes. 我的回答是没问题Okay. 好的I would love to dress you. 我愿意给你打扮No, it -- I don't want you to dress me. 不我不想要你来帮我打扮No. 不用And...I owe it to you to be honest, 我觉得我该对你坦白so I'm just gonna say 所以我要说that you need to lose the bicycle shorts. 你得丢掉这条单车短裤Excuse me? 你说什么They're not working for you, Cam. 小卡它不适合你Please don't take this personally. 我不是在针对你I mean, nobody looks good in bike shorts. 我是说没人穿单车短裤好看的I just -- I feel that I owe it to you to be honest. 我只是我觉得我应该对你坦白So, we're good, right? 这么说我们还是好朋友对吧- We're great. - We're great. -我们非常要好 -我们非常要好- We're great. - Oh, great. -我们非常要好 -太好了Okay. 好吧You should probably just show yourself out. 或许你应该穿自己的衣让别人去说吧I hear -- I hear some crying down the hallway. 我听见我听见走廊上有哭声Look at that. That's a good dad. 瞧真是个好父亲Because you've got a baby, 因为有了孩子and you hear every little sound. 所以一丁点儿小的声音你都能听到I wouldn't have -- I wouldn't have even noticed... 要是我的话我根本就不会注意到crying. 有哭声Uh, okay. All right. 好了All you need to know about this one 你们需要知道的是is that Skip Woosnum is a well-known realtor 斯基普·乌森是个著名的房产经纪人and he's old. 而且很老了Got it. 收到Skip Woosnum. Realtor. Old. 斯基普·乌森房产经纪人老的Here we go. 开始了I'm not saying realtor Skip Woosnum is old, 我不是要说斯基普·乌森已经老了but the first property he ever sold... 不过他卖出去的第一件物业was a cave. 居然是个洞穴You're not, uh... 你没有not laughing. 没有笑Why aren't you laughing, uncle Mitchell? 你怎么不笑米奇尔叔叔'cause he doesn't think it's funny, 因为他觉得不好笑or maybe -- maybe you don't think I'm funny. 或者可能你觉得我并不搞笑Is that what you're saying, Mitch? 你是要说这些吗米奇No, it's... 不是I just got it! 我懂了我懂了Oh. Cave! 洞穴- That one's kind of a thinker. - Yes! -这个是需要点脑力 -没错没错There he is. 他也来了All right, now. 好了Knock it off, Jay. 少来了杰You don't know anyone's name here. 这儿你一个人的名字都叫不出来Are you kidding me? 你开什么玩笑Carlos! 卡洛斯Lucky guess. 运气不错I'm lucky only one turned around. 还好只有一个人回头Listen -- I need a favor. 听着我需要帮助I overestimated the number of people I know at this party. 我高估了这个派对上我认识的人数So you go around, introduce yourself, 你去到处转转做做自我介绍and I'll hear the names. 我就在旁边偷听他们叫什么You realize you're asking me 你知道你是在叫我to help prove my own mother wrong. 帮你证明我亲妈是错的I'll pay two bucks per introduction. 你每介绍一次我就给你两美金All right, well, that's Ramona. 好吧那是拉蒙纳She's crazy for bingo. 她狂爱饮烈酒Ramona. 拉蒙纳Ramona. 隔壁在干吗Ramona. 是成人礼Ramona. 又是成人礼Ramona. 这个不是成人礼Ramona. 这是订婚派对看Gloria! 歌洛莉亚Stop being such a snob. 别那么不合群了Come over and meet my friend Julio and his wife -- 过来见见我的朋友夏利奥和他的太太uh, I'm sorry. Your name again? 对不起你说你叫什么Kay? 凯I think you're really gonna hit it off with Kay! 我觉得你跟凯会很合得来的I mean, she's gonna tell me how to dress?! 我是说她要教我怎么打扮吗She ought to stick to things she knows more about, 她应该干点她更擅长的like overcooking salmon. 像是怎么把三文鱼烤焦Okay, wait. 好吧等等So, she actually said 那么她真的跟你说that you don't look good in bicycle shorts? 你穿单车裤不好看吗Yes. 是的"You don't look good in bicycle shorts". 你穿单车裤不好看Madness. 疯了Oh, and here she is. 是她Okay, you know what? I can't be here. 好吧我不能在这待着了I'm -- I'm going out for some air. 我要我要出去透透气Yes. Yes, go. This -- this could get ugly. 好的去吧我也许会跟她吵起来Hello, Claire. 你好克莱尔You are a gutless weasel. 你这个没种的家伙Oh, yeah. No. 是的不I heard what you said to my boyfriend. 我知道你跟我男人说了什么You told Phil he was hysterical! 你跟菲尔说他超搞笑的You said he was this generation's Richard Pryor! 你说他是新一代的理查德·普赖尔You said he was this generation's Richard Pryor! 理查德·普赖尔四十年代黑人喜剧演员Well, I am not the one that you need to apologize to. 你该道歉的人不是我What are you babbling about? You owe me a murder. 你在胡说什么你欠我一个谋杀Okay, Claire, I c -- I couldn't do it. 好吧克莱尔我做不来I couldn't crush Phil's dreams. 我没办法打破菲尔的美梦We had a deal. I told Cam about the bike shorts. 我们说好了的我跟小卡说单车裤的事No! No! 不不The deal was to get Cam to take off the bike shorts. 我们说好的是你让小卡脱掉那条热裤But guess what -- he is still in the stupid bike shorts. 可结果呢他还穿着那条愚蠢的单车热裤Can I call you back? 我待会打回给你好吗Turns out Cam was here the whole time, 小卡原来一直都在and he just heard everything I said. 他听到了我说的话Ooh. Did he just run into the bedroom and cry? 他跑到卧室里哭去了吗Oh, yes, 'cause that's what all gay men do. 是啊好像所有同性恋男人都这样We all dissolve into -- 我们都如此软弱Yes. That is what he did. 好吧他还真就这么做了There are challenging moments in every marriage. 每段婚姻都有一些挑战Um...having to tell your husband that he's not funny 为了你丈夫不在众人面前出丑so that he won't humiliate himself 而必须告诉他他其实一点也不搞笑has to be one of the toughest. 这绝对是最难的挑战之一了So I went a different way. 于是我就换了种方式Stop talking. 别再说了I just need some time for this wound to become a scar. 我只是需要时间来让这个伤口结疤I'm sorry I got Claire involved, 对不起我把克莱尔也扯了进来But -- and this is not a criticism, 但是我不是想批评你but sometimes you can be a little sensitive 但是有时候你对你的外型about your...appearance. 太过于敏感了Well, this is a criticism -- 这就是批评sometimes you can be insensitive about everything. 有时你对所有事情都太不敏感了I just can't -- I just feel like 我只是觉得我们的感情足够坚固our relationship's strong enough to survive a little candor. 经得起一点坦诚的考验I mean, look, you could tell me 如果我有什么让你不满意的if there's something about me you'd like to change. 你就可以直说I hate your beard. 我讨厌你的胡子Well, you had that bullet in the chamber. 你还留了这么一手I never said anything because I never wanted to hurt you... 我从来没说过是因为我不想伤害你but I've always found your beard off-putting. 但是我一直觉得你的胡子很烦人See? Hurts. 是吧小心脏疼死了吧Mitchell? 米奇尔Mitchell, get back here! 米奇尔回来What are you doing? 你在干吗I'm shaving off the beard. 我要把胡子剃了Seriously? 你认真的吗Yeah, well, the man I love doesn't like it, so off it goes. 当然我家男人不喜欢那就剃掉Well, good. 好-Good. - Great. -好的 -很好Great. Okay. 很好那好One... 一two... 二three. 三Wait! 住手The fact that you're willing to do it is enough for me. 对我来说你肯这么做已经足够了I love your beard. 我爱你的胡子I love that when you drink cappuccino, you get foam in it 我喜欢你喝卡布奇诺时会沾上奶油and when you're nervous, your little... 还有你紧张的时候hairs twitch. 你的小胡子会抖Well, you couldn't have told me before took a notch out? 你就不能在我刮掉这块之前说吗I'm sorry. I -- I -- listen. 对不起听着I know... I can be touchy about... this. 我知道我对于这个有些太敏感But you're this amazing-looking guy, and -- 但是你是个超级大帅哥I am not amazing - 我不帅Really? 是实话吗I wouldn't change anything. 我不想改变你的任何一点You should know that every day, 你要知道我每天醒来I wake up very grateful to have you in my life. 都因为我的生命中有你而心怀感激I'm the one who got lucky, handsome. 我才是幸运儿帅哥Maybe I just don't show it enough. 也许是我表达的不够Well, you can make it up to me by doing my shoulders. 你可以服务一下我的肩膀作为补偿Well, you can make it up to me by doing my shoulders. [米奇尔以为是帮他刮腋毛] Sure. 当然I meant a massage. What are you saying? 我是指按摩你在想什么Oh, Mitchell. Mitchell. 米奇尔米奇尔It's Mackenzie. 是麦肯齐Again. 又是她She wants me to come to this party she's throwing. 她想让我参加她办的派对She texted me earlier. 她之前发过短信给我You texted her back, right? 你回她短信了对吧No. 才没有I'm... 我感到proud? 孺子可教也- Tell her you'll try and come. - Right. -跟她说你会尽量抽时间去 -好And then when she says -- 然后等她说Haley... 海莉I got this. 我知道怎么做Who's this? 你是哪位Brilliant. 干的漂亮No, I didn't see it. I get a lot of texts. 不我没看到我短信太多了I have a sister. 果然是姐妹When's the party? 派对是什么时候I'll try and come. 我会尽量抽空去You know, I'm kind of busy. I have a life. 你知道我很忙的我有自己的生活You know, stuff. 有很多事做Homework. 还有作业Uh-oh. 完了I mean, not homework. 我是说作业算什么It's not work if you love it. 对于爱学习的人来说算什么呀Oh, god. Hang up. Hang up. 天啊挂掉挂掉Shut up! 闭嘴Not you, Mackenzie. 没说你麦肯齐Drop the phone and kick it over here! 赶紧把电话扔地上踢过来Um, I have to go. 我得挂电话了I-I'll call you later. 晚点我再打给你Or you call me later. 或者你打给人家也行Love you! 爱你Aah! Aah! 发花痴Aah! Aah! 跟着发花痴They were right in here! 刚才还在呢I know, and we looked everywhere, honey, 我知道我们哪都找遍了so just calm down. 要淡定Are you kidding me? "Calm down"? 淡定皆浮云In one minute, 一分钟后I'm gonna be standing up there like... 我就要上台了就像一个like a... 像个Oh, my God. I have no material at all. 天哪我词穷了Okay. You're gonna be fine. You don't need jokes. 没事你一定行的你不需要准备笑话的Listen to me, honey. 听我说亲爱的Get up there. Be your charming self. 走上台去展现自己迷人的那面Make the introductions from your heart, and get out. 发自肺腑地来个自我介绍You're gonna -- You're gonna be amazing, okay? 你会表现得很犀利的好吗Phil Dunphy. 菲尔·邓菲Go. Go. 上吧上吧Good evening. 各位晚上好I would not be here tonight 我今天之所以if not for the hard work 能够站在这里讲话of the S.C.A.R.B. Board of trustees... 多亏了南加州房产经纪人董事会的大力支持I didn't have my jokes. 我的笑话没了What choice does a guy have but to play it straight? 除了直抒胸意以外还有别的选择吗...the support of my family, 来自家庭的支持and Gil Thorpe's colon. 以及吉尔·索普的结肠But Phil Dunphy is no straight guy. 不过菲尔·邓菲可不是那种直抒胸意的人So many giants of residential real estate here tonight. 今晚在坐的有这么多地产经纪业的巨匠And, of course, J.J. McCubbin. 当然还有小小约翰麦克宾I'm not saying J.J. is small, 我不是说小小麦是个头矮小but in the realty section, he was described as "Charming." 但在房地产业界他被描述为犀利哥Mark Simon, you out there? 马克·西蒙你在吗There's Mark. How are you, buddy? 马可在那你好吗伙计Mark recently moved into a new model. 马可最近住进了一套新的样板房How are you, Francine? 过得如何家庭妇男I kid, Mark Simon. I kid, Mark Simon. 我开玩笑的马克·西蒙You know that. 你懂的Trancito, Little Manuel, and Carlos, my wife, Gloria. 特兰西科小马努还有卡洛斯这是我妻子歌洛莉亚Nice to meet you. 幸会We have to talk. 我们得谈谈Un momento. 失陪下Mm. 好的You know, I -- 我知道吗我I can't believe you never met them. 真不敢相信你完全没印象You've never met any of these people. 你从没接触过这里的任何人You don't know anyone in this room. 这房间所有的人你都不认识Vamos, Jay. 走吧杰I'm not leaving before the father/daughter dance. 要走也要在父女共舞后再走And "These people," As you call them, 此外你所谓的这些人are not just employees. 不仅仅是雇员They're mi familia, or "My family." 是个大家庭或者称为家人I know what "Mi familia" is, Jay. 我懂我的母语杰Oh, I was afraid of this. 他说的我可听不懂Oh, I was afraid of this. 此时此刻有请准新郎上台No. Jay. No. 别去杰Thank you. Thank you. 谢谢你Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much. 女士们先生们非常感谢你们I'm gonna make this brief. 我简单说几句I know a lot of you out there don't even know who I am.我知道你们中的大部分人甚至不知道我是谁As my lovely wife, Gloria, pointed out, 正如我的爱妻歌洛莉亚所指出的那样That's my fault, not yours. 错不在你们在我I'm Jay Pritchett, 我是杰·普里契特El jefe. 你们的老板Listen -- on this very, very happy occasion, 听着在如此欢乐的时刻I'd like to pick up the tab on the bar. 今天我请客You know, when I started this company... 你们知道吗在我建立公司之初...the first thing that I -- 我所的第一件事What? 怎么Oh, right. Right, now. Good. Yeah. 对了很好是的现在This is not about me. 今晚我不是主角This is about a very special young lady 主角是一位非常出众的年轻女士And the man who loves her more than anyone else on earth. 以及一位世上最爱她的男人Isn't that lovely? 多温馨啊That's a beautiful, beautiful thing. 那是件多有爱的事情啊You know, I'm reminded 你们知道吗这让我想起了of when I used to dance with my little girl. 当初我和我的小宝贝一起跳舞But not like that. 不过不是像这样Slow down, there, muchacho. 悠着点男孩No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 别别别别别昏昏昏昏昏昏What, are you applauding this? You're applauding this? 难道你们在为此喝彩吗你们在为此鼓掌吗I don't care what kind of tradition this is. 我才不管这是哪门子传统This is gonna stop. Hey, hey, hey, hey. No! 给我停下听到没停下No! What? What? Am I the only one seeing this?! 什么难道只有我目睹这一幕吗V-v-vamos! 我们I mean, honey, I am not kidding when I tell you 亲爱的我很认真的告诉过你There was a woman next to me gasping for breath. 坐在我旁边的那个女人都笑岔气了Seriously, you were so freaking funny, Phil. 真的菲尔你太搞笑了I have seen professional comedians 我有看过专业喜剧演员的演出Who could never have done that. 也没有如此笑开了锅You were unbeliev-- 你真是一直被模仿从未被超越啊。

So, honey, Ibiza can only 亲爱的伊比莎餐厅今晚只有take us at 6:30 tonight. 六点半的时段有空位给我们Great. I will meet you at Ibiza. 好的我们在伊比萨见面It's pronounced "Ibeetha", not "Ibeeza". 正确发音是伊比"莎" 而不是伊比"萨" Oh, thanks, honey. 多谢提醒啊宝贝That reminds me - this weekend, 这让我想到这周末I want to see that baby panda at the "thoo". 我想去"董"物园看小熊猫Yeah... I'm the idiot. 对对对我是白痴This year for Valentine's Day, 今年的情人节we're gonna have a nice, 我们要去伊比莎餐厅quiet dinner at Ibiza. 共进美妙又安静的晚餐Last year, we, um... 去年我们...We overreached... a little. 我们玩过火了一点点We created sexy alter egos 我们创造了性感的第二人格Clive and Juliana 克莱夫和朱莉安娜met in the hotel bar. 他们是在酒店的吧台认识的This one lost her panties 她在酒店大厅里in the lobby in front of her dad... 在她老爸面前失去了她的小裤裤- Phil. - Which was still -菲尔 -还挺有意...it was hard. It was hard for her. 是很惨对她来说真的很难受You know I can't stand it when you use that word. 你明明知道我不喜欢你提那个字- "Panties"? - Yeah, that. Yes. That word. -"小裤裤"吗 -是的就是那词Sorry. She lost her underpanties. 对不起她弄丢了内裤裤- So? - So? -怎样啊 -怎么啦Well, huh? So? 如何啦怎么样啦- What's happening? - Flowers? -这是干嘛 -花呀Is someone pointing a gun at you? 是有歹徒在挟持你吗Oh, for goodness' sake. 拜托Did you get the flowers Lily and I sent you? 你有没有收到我跟莉莉送给你的花嘛Oh, that's so sweet. No. No, I didn't get anything. 真贴心可是我真的什么也没收到Really? Did you check with that assistant of yours? 是吗你跟你那个助理确认过了吗Broderick! 布拉德里克Uh, did you get any flowers today? 你今天有收到花吗No. Sadly, I'm without Valentine this year. 没有我过的是没有情人的情人节No, for Mitchell! The flowers are for Mitchell! 不是给你是给米奇尔花是给米奇尔的Oh, that's right. 原来如此Oops. 抱歉Mitchell's assistant has a huge crush on him. 米奇尔的助理迷他迷得无法自拔He does not. 他没有And I think the only prudent thing 我觉得最明智的选择to do is say, "You're fired. " 就是跟他说 "你被炒了"Don't be jealous. 别吃干醋了He just looks up to me. 他只是比较敬重我The thing about Mitchell is he can be naive. 米奇尔的问题就是有时候太天然呆He is completely unaware of how absolutely adorable he is. 他不知道自己多迷人多招蜂引蝶Oh. Okay, well, thank you. 好了好了谢谢夸奖But I am aware when someone has a crush on me, 但是要是有人迷上了我我看得出来的and he does not have a crush on me. 可他是真的没有迷上我Yes, he has a crash on me. 他绝对是迷上了我I was a little concerned when 我本来还真有点担心they said they could only take us at 6:30, but... 他们居然只有六点半才有位置I know. This house is on fire, right? 我理解可这里火的很啊是吧Now, this is how you do V-Day. 你看情人节就是应该这么过的Except most of these people 除了这里大多的人could have been here on V-E Day. 在欧战胜利纪念日[1945年]时就应该来这庆祝了could have been here on V-E Day. 情人节缩写是V-Day二次世界大战欧战胜利纪念日缩写是VE Day 只有一字之差But it's classy, which we deserve. 还是很有格调嘛跟我们很搭Yes, we do. 是啊绝配What were we thinking last year, 去年我们是发了什么疯acting like a couple of teenagers? 怎么会想扮演一对年轻小情侣啊I know. Oh! 我知道Hey, we've had our crazy Valentine's Days. 我们已经享受过我们的疯狂情人节了We tore it up! 我们玩疯到了极点But you got to know when to let that stuff go. 可是过了之后你不能念念不忘啊Yeah. 你说得对All those kids out there are 现在外面的小屁孩追求的刺激just looking for something that we've already got. 对我们而言不过是过往云烟Yeah. 是的- I love you. - I love you, too. -我爱你 -我也爱你Oh, my gosh! 我的天呐- Are you okay? - I'm good. We're good. -你没事吧 -没事我们都没事Are you all right? 您没事吧This is my first day in one of these things. 这是我第一天骑这玩意Oh, hey, let me, let me help you out. 让我来吧我来帮你吧How about I park it over there for you, okay? 我帮你把停在那边好吗Oh, thank you. 谢谢你了Here's your valet ticket. 这是你的停车票I'm kidding, actually. That's my valet ticket. 我开玩笑的这是我的停车票All right. 好了Let's see. 我瞧瞧Lefty loosey, righty tighty. Hey! 左开右刹All right. 动啦This is fun, Claire. You got to try this. 这很有趣克莱尔你也来玩玩Phil. 菲尔- He is the natural. - Thank you. -他有骑这车的天赋 -谢谢I know Phil and I are gonna grow old together someday...我知道我和菲尔会有年华老去的一天This thing needs mirrors. 这东西需要后视镜But today is not that day. 但绝不能是情人节这天Hello? 你好Hello, may I speak to Clive? 你好我找克莱夫I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong number. Bye-bye. 抱歉你打错了再见I got disconnected. Would you mind redialing? 我断线了麻烦帮我重拨一下Hello? 你好Hello, Clive. This is Juliana. 你好克莱夫我是朱莉安娜Look lady, please stop calling me. 听着女士请别再打给我了- This is... - No. Phil. Phil. Phil. Don't hang up. -这... -别挂菲尔菲尔菲尔别挂- Claire? - No, no, no. Not Claire. -克莱尔 -不不不不是克莱尔Juliana. 是朱莉安娜And you're Clive Bixby, remember? 而你是克莱夫·比克斯比还记得吗We met at the hotel bar last year. 我们去年在酒店吧台认识的Now... make up some lie, ditch that wife of yours, 现在找个借口甩开你老婆and meet me at our hotel in 30 minutes. 三十分钟后到那个酒店找我You think you can you manage that? 你觉得你能搞定她吗Baby doll, I've been lying to my wife for 16 years. 小宝贝我都骗了她十六年了Okay. See ya. 很好待会见So... Champagne? 要喝点香槟吗Um, actually, Claire, something's come up. 其实克莱尔我有点事得去处理So... gotta go. 所以我得先走了You're not ditching me here on Valentine's Day. 不准你在情人节抛下我Screw that. Sit. 别管那事了坐下But... o- okay. 可是... 好吧We'll - we'll stay. 我们我们就待着吧- Phil. - Oh, that's part of it? -菲尔 -这也是一部分吗So hot! 真香艳火辣Claire. I'm leaving. Deal with it. 克莱尔我要走了自己保重So, no one walks anymore! 现在都没人走路了吗Should be just few more minutes. 要再等一会应该就好了When is our reservation? 我们预定是几点Here's the thing. 情况是这样的No, not "the thing. " I hate "the thing". 不别解释解释就是掩饰My secretary screwed up and 我的秘书搞砸了didn't get us one. Don't worry. 没有帮我们预订到别担心I'll slip the guy a few bucks. 我这就过去贿赂下那家伙What kind of idiot messes up two Valentine's in a row?哪个白痴会蠢到连续两年弄砸了情人节呢Not this idiot. 不是我这白痴Two months ago, I booked a private chef, 两个月前我预订了私人厨师musicians - the works... 还找了一乐团来演奏叫业务乐队for a romantic dinner at home. 为了在家里置办场浪漫的晚餐I just had to get the senorita out 我的任务就是把"大小姐"带出去of the house while they set up. 好让他们在家里做准备This is 50 bucks. Do not give us a table. 这是五十块千万别给我们位子What's the money for? 那你给我钱干嘛You also must refuse my wife. She's very persuasive. 你还得婉拒我巧舌善辩的老婆的要求Just a couple more minutes. 再等会就行了So we don't get the table at the fancy restaurant, 我们不会在高级餐厅弄到位子which drives Gloria crazy. 歌洛莉亚就会很抓狂"Jay, why you not be no more romantic to me?". "杰你为什么不能对我浪漫一点呢"We walk in the door, and bam! 到时我们走进家门天降惊喜She looks like a big idiot. 她就呆若木鸡了And isn't that what Valentine's Day is all about? 这不就是情人节的意义吗Jay, come here. We're in. 杰过来我们有座了Your secretary didn't forget. Look. 你秘书没有忘记看Pritchett for two. 普里契特两位Just a reminder. I need the television at 8:00. 提醒一下我八点要看电视的Jeremy and I have a phone date 杰里米要和我电话约会to watch "Love Actually". 要一起看《真爱至上》的That's the lamest plan ever, and I'm jealous. 这真是最逊的约会计划了但我真妒忌So, my boyfriend, David, 我的男友戴维blows me off on 在全年最浪漫的晚上the most romantic night of the year - to study! 竟然放我鸽子去读书了This is the worst Valentine's Day. 这真是最糟糕的情人节了Best Valentine's Day ever! 最棒的情人节啊David stands up Haley, 戴维放了海莉的鸽子and old boyfriend Dylan is out of the picture. 前男友迪兰也没戏了I'm not saying I miss Dylan, 我不是说我想念迪兰but at least he was romantic. 但至少他很浪漫David never sent me a jar of his own tears. 戴维绝不会送我一瓶他流的"痴情泪"I'm playing the long game here. 我是在放长线钓大鱼Like me today, love me tomorrow. 现在先喜欢我以后再慢慢爱上我吧She's had the romantic. She's had the intellectual. 她曾有过浪漫的男友也有过聪明的男友How about all of that in one fine, 那一个又浪漫又聪明的little brown package? 棕色小男友会有多棒呢- I've hit a new low. - You can talk to me. -我的人生到达了新低点 -你可以跟我倾诉And I'm lower. 这下我更低落了Just picking up some things. 我只是回来拿东西I am not here. 忽略我的存在吧Name tags, name tags, name tags. 胸牌胸牌胸牌Come on! Bingo! 快点找到啦I know what to do. 我知道怎么办了Dylan's been texting me again. 迪兰又给我来短信了Bet if David knew that, 我敢肯定如果戴维知道了he'd come running right over here. 肯定会马不停蹄赶过来Wait. Before you start playing these games, 等等在你开始玩弄这些男人之前let me ask you one simple question... 让我问你一个简单的问题Who is Haley Dunphy? 海莉·邓菲的本色为何- Don't do it, Haley! - Stop following me. -海莉千万别这样做 -不要跟着我Let me just say my piece. 让我说说我的看法No. 不要Look, you can be the Haley 听着你可以把自己who defines herself as David's girlfriend, 定位是戴维女朋友or Dylan's girlfriend, 或是迪兰女朋友or you can be your own Haley. 或者完完全全做自己Maybe you haven't met her, 虽然你还不认识本色的海莉but I know her. 可我认识她She's an amazing person. 她是个很给力的人So when you're ready, I'd like to introduce you. 如果你准备好了我想把你介绍给她Cameron! Is there something I can do you for? 卡梅隆有什么能为你效劳的吗No. I just came by to pick up my man. 没什么我只是来接我男人的I'm taking him to Ibiza tonight. 我今晚要跟他去伊比莎餐厅吃饭Ooh, I've heard good things about Ibiza. 哦听说伊比莎餐厅很不错呢But I'm afraid he may have to meet you there. 但是你恐怕得和他在那里碰面了He's in the middle of a meeting. 他现在正在开会On Valentine's night? 在情人节晚上开会吗I didn't realize when I scheduled it. It's my fault. 我排他行程表的时候没注意我的错Gasp. I'm shocked. 天啊我太"意外"了I could drop him off at 等他开完会了the restaurant as soon as they wrap it up. 我可以就送他去餐厅啊Oh, aren't you a dear? 你人"好"的像头小鹿似的I'd like to mount your head in my trophy room. 真想就这么把你头拽下来挂墙上Cam! 小卡Wait. 等等Have I upset you in any way? 我是不是哪方面做错惹你生气了Oh, please. Let's not play this game. 拜托别装了We both know what's going on. 你我早已心知肚明Have I been that obvious? 我有表现的这么明显吗Uh, the flowers that don't get delivered, 花都没送到the Valentine's Day plans that get interrupted... 情人节的计划也被打乱了Do I really need to spell it out for you? 还需要说的更明白吗Me, Mitchell - wedge. 我米奇尔你个小三Don't hate me. It's just... 别讨厌我我只是...so hard to see someone 见到别人能够拥有else have something you want and can't have. 你想要又得不到的东西心里堵得慌Does Broderick have a crush? Yes. 布拉德里克是否对某人有意思没错On someone he frequently sees at the office? 是不是对经常出现在办公室的某人有意思Yes. 没错Does that man have red hair and a beard? 那个人有红色头发和胡子吗No, but his boyfriend does. 没有但是他的男朋友有It's me. The - the crush is on me. 就是我他是对我有意思This is you. 你到了Oh, did I validate you? 你明白我的意思吧Oh, yes. 当然- Appletini? - It was. -苹果马提尼吗 -本来是的You're looking handsome as ever, Clive. 你和以前一样英气勃勃克莱夫As are you, Juliana. 你也一如往常的明媚动人朱莉安娜You look hot enough to cook a pizza on... 你性感火辣地都可以烤披萨了in. 乳火焚身I see the speaker business is treating you well. 看来你的扬声器生意赚了不少I don't like to talk about money... 我不喜欢谈钱but I have exactly $10 million... 但请完你这杯马丁尼之后minus the cost of your next drink. 我正好还有一千万家产Two. Just two appletinis, please. 两杯只要两杯苹果马提尼Thank you so much. 非常感谢Yeah... 这个Why do I get the feeling you're not really a salesman? 我为什么觉得你不像是真的商人Ohh... pretty and smart. 挺秀外慧中的嘛Ohh... pretty and smart. pretty有"非常"和"漂亮"之意or should I say "pretty smart"? 还是该说你是机智过人呀I might do some high-risk work for 我也有在为美国政府做Uncle Sam that takes me clear around the country. 一些危险工作所以经常得在国内跑来跑去Mm, so you could say you're a... 你意思是说你是一个national man of mystery. 神秘的国家干员吗- Never did catch what you do. - Didn't you? -老是没搞清你是做哪行的 -还没搞清吗Surprising, I know. I'm usually 是还挺奇怪的我通常pretty good at catching things from women in bars. 还挺擅长在酒吧里观察出女人的小细节的Well... Clive, I am just a bored housewife 克莱夫我只是个寂寞主妇with a dark side and an hour to kill 暗自偷欢仅有一小时消遣作乐Is that what I think it is? 这是我想的那个玩意吗It's not a gift card. Or maybe it is. 这不是张礼物卡不过也可以是张"礼物"卡I'll be upstairs, Clive. Don't take too long. 我去楼上等你了克莱夫别让我等太久I never do. 我从不会让人等- Jay, relax. - I'm sorry. The place is a dump. -杰放松点 -抱歉这地方太垃圾了- It's beautiful. - Nothing good on the menu. -这地方美极了 -菜单上没好菜You see the hands on our waiter? 看见那个服务生的手了吗Looks like he's been birthing hogs. 感觉他给猪接生过一样Let's just get out of here. 我们赶紧打道回府吧I don't know what's wrong with you tonight, 我不知道你今晚是哪根筋不对but I'm hungry, I look fantastic, 我打扮的漂漂亮亮的而且我饿了we're staying. 所以我们留下Five-course dinner waiting at home, 精心准备的五道菜晚餐在家里等着and she's strapping on the feed bag at Ibiza. 而她却死活要在这吃垃圾But then an angel from heaven saved the night. 但是天堂来的天使拯救了这个夜晚You took our reservation! 你把我们预约的桌子占了"Pritchett for two" is us. 两位姓普里契特的是我们Come on, let's go! Move your bottom. Come on. Come on. 快点快走赶紧起来快走A big gay angel. 胖嘟嘟的同性恋天使- Hello. - Hello, Clive. -喂 -喂克莱夫How close are you? 你还要多久I am right outside your door. •我在你门口外等着呢- Are you ready? - Oh, I'm ready. -准备好了吗 -准备好了I don't think you are, because I can still hear your pants. 我可不这么认为我还能听见你裤子的摩擦声呢Well, maybe I should just shut them up. 好吧也许我应该把裤子给脱掉[闭嘴]I'll be out in a minute. 我马上就出来So... will... I. 我也是Juliana? 朱莉安娜Clive, where are you? 克莱夫你在哪You have to come find me. 你得自己来找Hello? 哈罗Clive, I give up. Where are you? 克莱夫我放弃你在哪I'm right here on the bed. 我就在床上Phil, what room are you in? 菲尔你在几号房- Who's this "Phil"? - Seriously, what room are you in? -菲尔是谁 -我说真的你在几号房- I'm in... 702. - I'm in 226. -七零二号房 -我在二二六号房What?! 啥Well, w-whose room is this, then? 那这个是谁的房间啊There's been a tiny mistake. 出了点小小的差错By the way, I need to apologize to you. 还有我想向你道歉I'm sorry I got so silly with all that Broderick stuff earlier.很抱歉前段时间为布拉德里克的事情闹脾气Oh, please, do not worry about it. 没事的这没什么大不了Cam, I like it when you get a little jealous. 小卡你吃醋的样子我最喜欢了Cut it out. 讨厌As long as we can agree 只要我们能达成共识he does not have a crush on me. 知道他对我没意思就行啦Absolutely. 当然- So, to us. - To us. -那么为了我们的爱干杯 -干杯He does not have a crush on you. 他对你没有意思- No. - Nope. -没有 -一点都没有Why do I feel like you're hinting at something? 我怎么觉得你在暗示什么Mitchell, 米奇尔we have talked long enough about Broderick's crush, 关于布拉德里克的小暗恋我们已经谈了很多次了which he does not have... 显然他根本没那个意思on you. 起码对你没意思- Oh, my God, what? - Okay, fine. -天哪你想说啥 -好吧Since you won't let it go... 既然你要打破砂锅问到底your assistant is hot for me. 你的助理对我有意思That's why he's been playing the saboteur. 所以他才从中作梗And you're sure it's not because he wants me? 你敢肯定不是因为他对我有意思吗You just said he didn't. 你才说了他对你没意思Well, I was protecting your feelings. 我只是在顾及你的感受He hugged me in the elevator. 他在电梯里面拥抱我了He hugged me in the elevator. 佛蒙特州允许同性恋婚姻Well, pick out china 那好那咱家产分了and move to Vermont. 你速度搬去佛蒙特周去结婚吧He said it kills him to see someone else have something he wants.他说看到别人拥有他所爱之人让他生不如死Yes. Yes. You're the someone and I'm the something. 没错你就是那个别人我就是他所爱之人Okay. All right. 好吧不争了- Call him. - Call him? -给他打电话吧 -打电话Call him. 打去问他啊Why don't we just go over to 要不要干脆直接去他家his house and stand on opposite sides of the room 咱俩各站一边and see which one of us he runs to? 看看他奔向谁的怀抱You get the check. I'll get the car. 你去结帐我去提车We are not going over there. 我们才不去他家呢And we're not calling him. 也不会给他打电话Cam, who cares which one of us he has a crush on? 小卡谁在乎他迷上了谁The important thing is, I have a crush on you. 重要的是我迷上了你And I wouldn't blame Broderick if he did, too. 就算我的秘书也迷上了你我不怪他That's so sweet. 你嘴真甜I- I wouldn't blame him if he had a crush on you, either. 要是他迷上了你我也不会怪他的Good. 好吧- "Good" What? - Just, good. -什么东西 "好吧" -就单纯的"好吧""Good" meaning we're done with this, or "好吧"意思是到此为止呢"Good" meaning you still think he has a crush on you? 还是"好吧"你还是觉得他迷上的是你啊Oh, Cam! 得了吧小卡- The second one. - I'm getting the car. -后者 -我这就去提车Would you please just come in the house?! 你就跟我进屋去吧You had a whole year to plan, but you don't make an effort. 你有一整年的时间去准备但你根本没用过心I am the second wife, Jay. 杰我是你的新任娇妻Why do you treat me like I'm the first? 为啥你对我跟对黄脸婆原配似的Look about it inside. Where are you going? 咱们进屋再说你去哪I'm gonna take a ride. I need to cool down. 我要去兜兜风我需要冷静一下Just come in the house. I promise you'll feel better. 你就跟我进屋吧我保证你会感觉好一点I don't want to go in there. 我不想进屋You're gonna like it better inside. 进屋去你肯定会感觉好多的Don't hold me back. 别拦着我I'm sorry about this, honey. I'm sorry. 不好意思亲爱的我得动粗了Jay, what are you doing? Are you crazy?! 杰你干什么你疯啦Jay, what are you doing? Are you crazy?! [西班牙语]What are you doing? Have you lost your mind? 你在干什么啊你疯了吗No, but you're about to. 没有不过你马上会疯狂的Happy Valentine's Day! 情人节快乐What the hell? 怎么了这是Gloria! 歌洛莉亚Honey. 宝贝儿I'm going for a drive. 我要去兜风了I had a whole private dinner planned. 我本来准备了一个秘密晚餐I don't know what happened. 结果不知道为什么变这样了But I do. I know exactly what happened! 我知道我明白怎么回事No, you don't. 不你不知道- What the hell? - I win! -什么 -我赢了I see you sneaking around, trying to trick me, 我早发现你偷偷摸摸打算耍我一下so when I figure it out, 所以当我搞清楚之后I move the party over here, and I trick you. I win! 就把晚餐移到这边来了然后耍了你我赢啦What do you mean, you win? 什么叫你赢了I know you think I think you're not romantic, 我知道你觉得我认为你不够浪漫but I think you think I'm not smarter than you. 但我觉得你认为我没你聪明So now we know. 现在真相大白了You are romantic, and I'm smarter than you. 你够浪漫我也比你聪明And I bought you a motorcycle. 而且我还给你买了辆摩托Oh, my God. It's fantastic. 天哪这车真棒I win again! 我又赢了Honey, I love all this, but you can't win Valentine's Day. 宝贝儿我喜欢这一切不过情人节不是让你赢的I mean, you defeat the whole idea 我是说如果你把情人节搞成一个if you make it into some silly competition. 愚蠢的竞赛那这节日的意义就没了Shut up. I win. 闭嘴吧我赢了- Let's go. - So we're really doing this? -出发吧 -我们真要去吗- Oh, we're doing this. - Well, it's gonna be me. -必须的 -他肯定是迷上我的- I'm already embarrassed for you. - All right. -我已经在为你等会的囧样难过了 -好吧走- Oh, wait. - What? -等一下 -怎么了- Oh, it's a text from Broderick. - Read it. -布拉德利克来短信了 -读出来"Mitchell, by now I'm sure Cameron "米奇尔我相信你爱人已经告诉你has told you what happened in the elevator. 在电梯里发生的一切了While I meant every word I said, 我所说的一切都是肺腑之言I realize how unprofessional I was. 我明白这样做十分失职Please accept my resignation. 请接受我的辞职What you have with Cam is very special, 你和你爱人的感情来之不易and I would never forgive myself if I came between you. 如果我成了第三者我永远不会原谅自己Treasure each other. Sincerely, Broderick". 从心底祝福你们珍重对方布拉德利克"- Oh, Cam, what are we doing here? - I don't know. -天哪我们在干什么呢 -我也不知道Maybe if some assistant's crush 如果一个小秘书对谁着迷is so important to us, 值得我们如此大动干戈的话it means we should appreciate each other a little bit more. 我们真应该更加珍惜对方Well, I can't think of a better time to start. Come here. 是啊这正是个重新开始的好时机来吧And the great thing about that text 而短信最棒的地方就在于is we don't have to know which one of us he wanted. 我们无需知道他到底迷上了谁I know. 我知道I know. 我知道What are you doing? 你在这干什么呢Valentine's Day isn't over yet, Juliana. 情人节还没结束呢朱莉安娜Sweetie, let's not push it. 亲爱的别强求了You almost got arrested tonight. 你今晚可是差点进警局了That's how it's gonna be? 那今晚就这么不了了之吗- You're just giving up on us? - I am not giving up on us. -你就这么放弃我们的感情吗 -我不是放弃I am giving up on Clive and Juliana. 我只是放弃了克莱夫和朱莉安娜Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 等一下等等等等I know a couple of people who could possibly save this night.我知道有不少男女都有本事挽回这局面Maybe you've heard of them... 或许你知道他俩"Two American kids, doing the best that they can..." 两个美国青年尽他们所能Phil and Claire Dunphy. 菲尔和克莱尔I am not going back to that hotel tonight, 我今晚绝对不会再回那个旅馆了and I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to. 而且我肯定你被禁止进入了Don't need to. Phil and Claire have a bedroom, 不需要菲尔和克莱尔有间卧室which they can turn into a hotel whenever they want. 他们随时可以把那间卧室当成旅馆But the kids... 但是孩子们They're not expecting us home this early. 他们不会料到我们这么早回家So, you up for a little adventure... 如何你准备好去冒险了吗Claire? 克莱尔Do you think you can handle it... 你觉得你能搞定吗Phil? 菲尔"I can't be the girl you want me to be, David. "戴维我无法成为你理想中的女孩"I can only be me. Goodbye. Haley." 我只能做我自己再见了海莉"Send it. 发送- I don't know. - Here, I'll help you. -我犹豫不决 -来吧我帮你发送No, no, no, no, no! 别别别Wow. 哇That feels really good. 感觉真棒Because you're free. 因为你自由了And really scary. I haven't been single since I was 9. 可我很害怕我从九岁开始就从未单身过That's why you need to take your time now... 所以你应该开始慢慢来Really get to know yourself before you make any decisions...在你做任何决定之前必须先了解自己Five, six years maybe. 大概花五六年吧Years?! I have to call David. 要数以年计吗我得给戴维打电话The boy who tossed you aside on Valentine's Day? 打电话给一个情人节把你置之不理的人吗No. 不需要You deserve better, Haley, 你配得上更好的人海莉a dreamer, a poet. 一个梦想家一个诗人Wait for him. 等着他出现吧He may be closer than you think. 他说不定就近在眼前Do you hear music? 你听见音乐声了吗Yes, and the fact that you hear it, too... 当然你之所以也能听见是因为Is that Dylan?! 是迪兰吗Oh my God! 天哪*Imagine me naked. 想象我赤身裸体*Am I a bad enough parent to ignore that? 我真是个坏到连这个都能无视的家长吗You are. You're really bad. 没错你可坏了*Without my best friend. 为你舍弃朋友也愿意*You know, the old Haley would have... 你看如果你是之前那个海莉早就- I love you, baby! - Haley! -我爱你宝贝 -海莉Salud, Jay! 干杯杰- There's my back. - Phil. -我的背挂彩了 -菲尔- Oh, no, keep the change. - Oh, thanks. -不用找零了 -谢谢Did you put an extra tiramisu in here? 你是不是又在里面多放了一块提拉米酥啊- Maybe. - Ryan, again? -算是吧 -雷恩老照顾我们不太好吧I just like coming here. 我只是很喜欢来你们这嘛I tell you, if you were single... 我跟你说如果你是单身的话- Ryan! - Ryan! -雷恩 -雷恩。

When one chooses to walk the Way of the Mandalore, you are both hunter and prey.There is one job.Underworld?How uncharacteristic of one of your reputation.Is it not the Code of the Guildthat these events are now forgotten?A Mandalorian shot up the Guild on Nevarro,took some high value target and went rogue. Traveling with me, that's no life for a kid.They'll keep coming.None will be free until the old ways are gone forever. You have something I want.This is the one you hunted, then saved?Its species can move objects with its mind.The songs of eons past tell of battlesbetween Mandalore The Great,and an order of sorcerers called Jedi.By Creed, it is in your care.You must reunite it with its own kind.I was a foundling.The Mandalorians raised me in the Fighting Corps.I was treated as one of their own.- Did you do this? - No!Did any survive?We knew what could happen if we left the covert.Our secrecy is our survival.Take care of this little one.This is the Way.This is the Way.I'm here to see Gor Koresh.Enjoy the fights.You know this is no place for a child.Wherever I go, he goes.So I've heard.I've been quested to bring him to his kind.If I can locate other Mandalorians, they can help guide me. I'm told you know where to find them.It's uncouth to talk business immediately.Just enjoy the entertainment.Bah! My Gamorrean's not doing well. Kill him! Finish him! Do you gamble, Mando?Not when it can be avoided.Well, I'll bet you the information you seekthat this Gamorrean's going to diewithin the next minute and a half.And all you have to put up in exchangeis your shiny beskar armor.I'm prepared to pay you for the information.I'm not leaving my fate up to chance.Nor am I.Thank you for coming to me.Normally, I have to seek out remnantsof you Mandalorians in your hidden hivesto harvest your precious shiny shells.Beskar's value continues to rise.I've grown quite fond of it.Give it to me now or I will peel it off your corpse.Tell me where the Mandalorians areand I'll walk outta here without killing you.I thought you said you weren't a gambler...I'm not.All right, stop, stop! I'll tell you where he is.But you must give me your word that you won't kill me.I promise you will not die by my hand.Now, where is the Mandalorian you know of? Tatooine.What?The Mando I know of is on Tatooine.I've spent much time on Tatooine.I never saw a Mandalorian there.My information is good, I tell you.The city of Mos Pelgo. I swear it by the Gotra. Tatooine it is, then.Wait, Mando! You can't leave me like this.Cut me down!That wasn't part of the deal.Wait, what are you doing?Mando! I can pay! Mando! Mando!第二季第一集执法官All right. Hey, hey, hey!Sorry, gang. Come on.You know he doesn't like droids.May as well let them have at it.The Crest needs a good once-over.Oh! So he likes droids now.Well, you heard him. Give it a once-over.I guess a lot has changed since you were last in Mos...Oh! Thank the Force!This little thing has had me worried sick.Come here, you little womp rat.Come here, you little womp rat.Looks like it remembers me.How much do you want for it? Just kidding. But not really. You know, if this thing ever divides or buds,I will gladly pay for the offspring.Hey!Oh, jeez!Watch what you're doing up there. He barely trusts your kind. You want to give all droids a bad name?Thank you!I'm here on business. I need your help.Oh, then, business, you shall have.Care for me to watch this wrinkled critterwhile you seek out adventure?I've been questedto bring this one back to its kind.Oh, wow. I can't help you there.I've never seen any like it.And trust me, I've seen all shapes and sizes in this town.A Mandalorian Armorer has set me on my path.If I can locate another of my kind,I can chart a path through the network of coverts.You've been the only Mando here for years from what I can tell. Where is Mos Pelgo? I'm told there's one there.Oh. Boy, I haven't heard that name in a while.It's not on any of the maps.Because it was wiped out by bandits.Once the Empire fell, it was a free-for-all.I didn't dare leave the city walls. Still don't.Can you tell me where it used to be?Depends who's asking. You want to see it?R-five! Bring the map of Tatooine.No, take your time. Seriously.You just can't get good help anymore.I don't even know who to complain to.Let's go, let's go.Waiting. Okay.This is a map of Tatooine before the war.You got Mos Eisley, Mos Espa,and up around this region, Mos Pelgo.I don't see anything.Well, it's there. Or at least, it used to be.Not much to speak of. It's an old mining settlement.They're going to see that big hunk o' metal long before you land. You still have that speeder bike?Sure do. It's a little rusty, but I got it.Can I help you?I'm looking for a Mandalorian.Well, we don't get many visitors in these parts.Can you describe him?Someone who looks like me.You mean the Marshal?Your marshal wears Mandalorian armor?See for yourself.What brings you here, stranger?I've been searching for you for many parsecs.Well, now, you found me.Weequay, two snorts of spotchka.Why don't you join me for a drink?I've never met a real Mandalorian.Heard stories.I know you're good at killing.And probably none too happy to see me wearing this hardware. So...I figure only one of us walking out of here.But then I see the little guy......and I think, maybe I pegged you wrong.Who are you?I'm Cobb Vanth, Marshal of Mos Pelgo.Where did you get the armor?Bought it off some Jawas.Hand it over.Look, pal, I'm sure you call the shots where you come from, but 'round here, I'm the one tells folks what to do.Take it off.Or I will.We gonna do this in front o' the kid?He's seen worse.Right here, then?Right here.Maybe we can work something out.That creature's been terrorizing these partssince long before Mos Pelgo was established.Thanks to this armor, I've been able to protect this town from bandits and Sand People.They look to me to protect 'em.But a Krayt dragon is too much for me to take on alone. But a Krayt dragon is too much for me to take on alone. Help me kill it, I'll give you the armor.Deal. I'll ride back to the ship,blow it out of the sand from the sky,use the bantha as bait.use the bantha as bait.Not so simple.The ship passes above, it senses the vibrations,stays underground.But I know where it lives.How far?Not far.You don't understand what it was like.The town was on its last legs.It started after we got news of the Death Star blowing up.The second one, that is.The Empire was pullin' outta Tatooine.There was blaster fire over Mos Eisley.The occupation was over.We didn't even have time to celebrate.That very night, the Mining Collective moved in.Power hates a vacuum and Mos Pelgo became a slave camp overnight. Hey, you okay?Come on, let's get you outta here. Let's go!Go! Go! Go! Go!I lit out. Took what I could from the invaders.Grabbed a camtono.I had no idea it was full of silicax crystals.I guess every once in a while,both suns shine on a womp rat's tail.I wandered for days.No food, no water.And then...I was saved.The Jawas wanted the crystals.They offered their finest in exchange.And my treasure bought me more than a full waterskin. It bought my freedom.Get down!- Go, go! - Come on!Go! Go! Go! Go!What the hell you doin'?Hey, partner, you want to tell me what's going on? They want to kill the Krayt dragon, too.What am I supposed to do with this?You drink it.It stinks.Do you want their help?Not if I have to drink this.He says your people steal their waterand now you insult them by not drinking it.They know about Mos Pelgo.They know how many Sand People you killed.They raided our village. I defended the town.Lower your voice.I knew this was a bad idea.You're agitating them.These monsters can't be reasoned with.Sit back down before I put a hole through ya!I'm not going to say it...What are you telling them?Same thing I'm telling you.If we fight amongst ourselves, the monster will kill us all. Now, how do we kill it?They say it lives in there. They say it sleeps.It lives in an abandoned sarlacc pit.It lives in an abandoned sarlacc pit.Lived on Tatooine my whole life.There's no such thing as an abandoned sarlacc pit. There is if you eat the sarlacc.They're laying out a bantha to protect the settlement. They've studied its digestion cycle for generations.They feed the dragon to make it sleep longer.Watch, the dragon will appear.They might be open to some fresh ideas.What are the bones?That's the Krayt dragon.And those little rocks?That's us.It's not to scale.I think it is.Can't be. That's too big.It's to scale.I've only seen its head and neck. It's bigger'n I guessed. Might be time to rethink our arrangement.That's more like it.Where are they getting the reinforcements?I volunteered your village.They attacked us less than a year ago.Killed half a dozen of us by the mining camp.I'd say I took down about twice as many Tuskens.The town respects you.My guess is, they'll listen to reason.I wouldn't be so sure.This here is a Mandalorian.You know what that means?We've heard the stories.Then you know how good they are at killing.Now, this one's got a problem.I got a suit o' salvaged armorand the Mandalorian creed says it's his to take.But I've got a problem, too.A Krayt dragon has been peeling off our pack animals, and sometimes, taking our mining haul with it.It's just a matter of time before it grows tired of banthas and goes after a couple of you townsfolk,or even, so help us, the school.As much as I've grown fond of the armor,I'm even more fond of this town.The Mandalorian is willing to help us slay the leviathanin exchange for returning the armor to its ancestral owners. Well, that settles it.There's more.We can't take on the Krayt alone.And the Sand People are willing to help.They raid our mines!They're monsters!I've seen the size of that thing,it will swallow your entire town when the fancy hits it. You're lucky Mos Pelgo isn't a sand field already.I know these people. They are brutal.But so is the Dune Sea.They've survived for thousands of years in these sands and they know the Krayt dragon better than anyone here. They are raiders, it's true.But they also keep their word.We have struck a deal.If we are willing to leave them the carcass and its ichor, they will stand by our side in battleand vow never to raise a blaster against this townuntil one of you breaks the peace.Think it'll work?It better.Joining forces is their only hope.Here. Grab this.Hey! What are you doin'? That's an explosive.Are you trying to blow the whole place up? What? Is that what you want?Take it easy. It was an accident, okay?- What do you want to do? - It was an accident.- Let's go. - It's not going to work out.It's gonna be great.What'd he say?He says it's sleeping.If we listen carefully, we can hear it breathing.Let's get to work.The Tuskens say the belly is the only weak spot,so we have to hit it from below.First, we bury the charges at the opening of the cave. Then, we wake it up.We have to get it angry enough to charge.Once it's far enough outand the belly is above the explosives,you hit the detonator.Careful, Marshal.Thank you, Jo. And you stay safe, huh.Dank Farrik, it's going back in.It's retreating.- I'm going to hit it. - No, wait.We only have one shot. We've gotta get it out.Now?Not yet. It's gotta come out further.Almost, almost.Now!I don't think it's dead.Me either.It's picking us off like womp rats.Let's get after it!This ain't doing a thing.Just keep shooting.There he is.I've got an idea. Get its attention.I got its attention! Now what?- Run! - Go, go.You still have that detonator?Take it! What's the plan?Take care of the Child.- What are you gonna do? - I don't know, but wish me luck. No! No, no, no!Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Yeah!Sorry, I didn't have time to explain.No need.This was well-earned.It was my pleasure.I hope our paths cross again.As do i.Oh, and you tell your people I wasn't the one that broke that.。

Good afternoon. Thanks for coming. 下午好感谢各位大驾光临It's so nice to spend my birthday 能在大家的笑容映衬下度过生日surrounded by so many smiling faces. 我实在倍感荣幸I was almost too depressed to come today. 其实今天我本来郁闷得不想来了I realized I let my childhood slip away. 因为我刚意识到我虚度了我的童年I realized I let my childhood slip away. 30分钟前Come on, everybody! 各位快行动起来We're gonna be late for Manny's birthday! 曼尼的生日会要迟到了Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 快走快走快走快走快走I'm ready, mom. 我这就能走妈- You sure, honey? - Yep. -宝贝你确定吗 -没错Then take a quick peek at your feet. 那你看下自己的脚Oh! Come on, Luke! 卢克你不给力啊Are you gonna walk faster, 您老是要亲自走快点儿呢or should I get Lily's stroller out of the car and push you?还是让我去车里拿莉莉的婴儿车推您走Would you relax? 你急什么啊The restaurant's like five minutes away from here 那餐馆离这儿也就5分钟Ohh, free lotion. 免费润肤露耶Stop Stopping to smell the roses. Manny's present. 别走走停停的了咱还没给曼尼买礼物呢Ohh, you are such a Pritchett. 你可真是典型的普里契特家的人What's that supposed to mean? 你这是啥意思Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 快走快走快走快走快走I'm looking for the keys! 我在找钥匙Of course you are. 你总是有理I like being on time. 我这人一向准时It's easy 'cause I'm organized. 这不难做到因为我有条不紊Not my wife. 我老婆则不然You'd think growing up in a place 按理说在满是行刑队You'd think growing up in a place 行刑队拉丁美洲国家内右派组织,专事谋杀左派分子或是自由派分子full of death squads and drunken uncles, 和老酒鬼的国度中长大she'd have learned to move a little bit faster. 她做事本该利索点才对Sorry, sorry. 对不起对不起I couldn't find my earring. 我刚刚找耳环去了So, what were we talking about, huh? 我们说到哪儿啦更多影视更新请登陆 本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视原创翻译制作更多影视更新请登陆 ■Honey, come on. We're gonna be late. Let's go. 亲爱的快点儿我们要迟到了走吧Yeah, yeah, just filling out the application to family camp. 好好好等我填完家庭夏令营申请表就走You don't win the "dirty dancing" competition 你总不能上次赢了热舞比赛and not go back to defend your crown. 而这次却不去捍卫你的冠军宝座吧That's right. Come on, honey. 你说得对快走吧亲爱的But shoot for the king... 不过想要争冠军you better kill him. 除非把冠军干掉Every summer, we spend a week at family camp. 每年夏天我们都去参加一周家庭夏令营It's just like regular camp, but with the family! 和普通夏令营没差别不过要全家出动I don't think that needed any clarification, Phil. 这还用解释吗菲尔Somebody's still a little touchy 某人去年输了彩弹大战- about losing last year's color war. - Not. -到现在还耿耿于怀呢 -才没有She was on team blue... 她是蓝队...or as I like to refer to them as team blue-zer. ...我管他们叫"傻队"[谐音"loser"输家]- And I was on white. - That's good. -我是白队 -别说了- And if you ain't white... - No. -不是白队... -不要说了...you ain't right! ...只能败北Phil! Have you learned nothing? 菲尔你怎么还不长记性呢Phil! Have you learned nothing? 去年夏天My good man. 谢啦伙计My good man. 不是白队只能败北[你不是白人就什么也不是]Okay, come on, everybody. Front door! Now! 好了同志们快点给我在前门集合Claire, relax. It takes 15 minutes to get there. 克莱尔别着急也就十五分钟路程It takes 20 minutes. 要二十分钟If we take your route. 那是你的路线Well, my way is the most direct. 我的路线最直接了Directly into traffic. 我看是直接堵车了Uh, your way is directly into...the suckiest way. 你的路线直接就是最烂的那条Want to make this interesting? 想来点有趣的吗Yeah, I don't think that's possible. 我不认为这件事能有趣We take two cars and see who gets there first. 咱们一人一辆车比谁先开到Fine. Fine. Let's do that. It's on. 好啊比就比现在就比Yeah! It is on! 太好了比赛开始I'll take the girls. 姑娘们跟我走Luke, your dad and I are splitting up. 卢克你爸和我要分开- Why? - Another one of their stupid arguments. -为啥啊 -又因为傻事吵架了呗Okay. I'll go with dad. 那好我要跟老爸No, no. Buddy. Come with me. 不不伙计跟我走Prepare to be -- my shoes. 咱们这就没穿鞋Come on, Phil! 菲尔你不给力啊How do I look? 我看起来咋样Like Al Capone. 像艾尔·卡彭[美国史上著名黑帮老大]Thanks! 谢啦Happy birthday, kid. 生日快乐孩子A BB gun?! 气枪吗Enjoy. That's the best gift my dad ever gave me. 好好玩吧这是当年我爸给我最好的礼物My keys are nowhere! 我死活找不到钥匙We're gonna have to go in your car. 我们只能开你的车了It's in the shop. 我的车还在店里Where was the last place you put your keys? 你还记得最后一次把钥匙放哪了吗Oh, so now it's my fault? 这又成我的错啦Where was the last place you put my keys? 应该是你最后一次把钥匙放哪儿了In your hand when I bought you the car. 买车的时候放你手里了Hey, Jay, on the box, 杰包装盒上写着it says "Ages 16 and up." "适合十六岁及以上儿童"Is this an appropriate gift for me? 这礼物适合我吗Are you kidding me? You were born 16. 你开啥玩笑你生来就十六岁了You know, we wouldn't be having this problem 你知道吗要是你没弄丢备用钥匙if you hadn't lost the spare set. 咱们现在也不至于这样I didn't lose them. 我才没弄丢呢Somebody came in here and stole them! 是有人进来偷走的And left the car. 光偷钥匙不偷车吗What do you mean, I was born 16? 什么叫我生来就十六岁I'm just saying, you were never much of a kid. 我只是说你一直不像个小孩儿And that's a good thing, 'cause I never liked kids. 这是好事呀因为我从来不喜欢小孩儿You know, you ought to try the fridge. 你不如去冰箱那儿找找'Cause that's where we found your cellphone. 上次你就把手机丢那儿了It was only one time, Jay. 就那么一次杰And you know I always eat after I talk to my mother. 你知道我一跟我妈打完电话就想吃东西Happy birthday, old man. 生日快乐老伙计Well, I've forgotten a lot of things in my life. 我的人生已经错过了太多精彩But what Jay said hit me hard. 杰的一番话简直是醍醐灌顶I'd forgotten to have a childhood. 我错过了我的童年Dad, that was a stop sign. 老爹你刚刚闯红灯了I'll stop twice on the way back. 回家的时候我停两次就行了Oh, good, it'll give us a chance to pick up that hubcap 很好我们终于有机会拿回you lost cutting through the temple parking lot. 你横穿教堂停车场时落下的轮圈了Yellow...yellow! 黄灯黄灯Okay. 好吧Are you seeing this? 看到没We are making every light, and we don't even have to speed. 一路绿灯咱都不用开多快The system works. 还是我的路给力Mom? 老妈I know, I went a little fast back there, 我知道我刚刚是有点超速了but, really, 40 is the same as 35. 不过说真的四十跟三十五差不多You say that a lot. 你老这么说[讽刺年龄]I don't think you two appreciate what's at stake here. 我觉得你们还不知道现在该担心什么- Our lives? - You know I love your mother, -我们的命吗 -你们知道我爱你们妈妈but I think you also know a certain look she gets 但你们也知道她那副嘴脸That says, "Just listen to me, I'm always right". 那种"听我的我永远是对的"的表情You mean her face? 你是说她盛气凌人的表情吗N-now we're getting this. 现在你懂我的意思了吧If we're right this one time, 如果我们这次赢了then we never have to be right again. 以后就不用再听她指使了When she says, "That balloon can't carry a person, Phil", 当她说"那气球载不了人的菲尔"I say, "Manny's birthday". 我就说"记得曼尼生日那次吗""Take your jacket, Alex. I think it's gonna rain". "穿上夹克艾丽克斯会下雨的" "Manny's birthday". "记得曼尼生日那次吗"Don't look at me. Look at the road. 别看我看路"Manny's birthday". "记得曼尼生日那次吗"No, dad! Look at the road! There's a truck! 不老爸看路前面有卡车Sweet baby! Assholes! 没长眼睛吗混蛋We are so kicking your dad's butt! 你老爸这次输惨了We are the best ones! 我们是最棒的How come you and dad are breaking up? 你和爸爸为什么要分手呀What? 什么If it's just a little disagreement, 如果只是一点意见不合的话can't you just work it out? 你们就不能好好解决吗Oh, sweetie, you thought 亲爱的你以为that when I said we were splitting up... 我说我们要分开的时候是指No. No, your dad and I are fine, honey. 不不我跟你爸好着呢宝贝儿We just were gonna take separate cars 我们只是要一人开一辆车to see who could get to the restaurant faster. 看谁先到餐厅Oh, that's a relief. 那我就放心了Ohh, you must have been feeling awful back there. 你刚才肯定难受死了I am so sorry. 我真抱歉It's okay. 没事的Why did you say you'd go with your dad? 你刚才为什么说你要跟你爸走Great. Mom gets to be right again. 太好了这下老妈又要赢了Hey, bad attitudes lose races. 这种态度可是会输掉的No, swerving into a curb and popping your tire loses races. 不对冲向路边然后爆胎才会输呢We should call the cops and say mom's car was stolen. 我们应该报警说妈妈的车是偷来的They arrest her, we win. 然后警察就会去抓她我们就赢了No, they trace those calls. 不行警察会追踪报警电话的But this is great. Thinking like a team! 但是精神可嘉开始有团队思考意识了Good practice for family camp. 这对我们的家庭露营会有帮助的We're, uh, we're doing that again? 我们我们今年还要去吗And this year I predict total white domination. 而且今年我有预感白队会大获全胜Can't go back there. 受不了那鬼地方了I heard this summer there's gonna be a hoedown. 我听说今年夏天要跳风土舞I can't. 我受不了了Haley! 海莉I can't! I can't. 我受不了了受不了了Eight minutes talking to the lady at the stationery store 跟文具店的女售货员聊了八分钟and still no present. 结果还是什么礼物都没买到You know, I think a new friend is like a present. 我认为新朋友就像礼物一样Yeah, I read that card, too. 是啊是啊我也读过那张卡片了Can we please just buy the next thing we see 我们能不能买我们看好的下一个东西and get out of here? 然后赶紧走啊You know, why can't you enjoy this? 你为什么就不能享受一下这个过程呢It's a beautiful afternoon, Lily's with a sitter. 今天下午天气那么好莉莉托给保姆了The day is ours! 这是咱俩的二人世界Helen! 海伦Helen! 海伦Helen! 海伦Helen!! 海伦Oh, look at that. Another friend. Off we go. Very busy. 看呀又交了个朋友走吧忙着呢No. Stop. 不要站住You are too tied to your rigid schedules. 你太受你那些死板的计划束缚了You're missing life. 你错过了真正的生活It took all of two seconds to help this nice man. 你只要花两秒钟就可以帮到这个人W-w-wait. Wait. There's more. 等等等我还没说完呢Two seconds. Yeah. 两秒钟而已还要说什么Tell her I'm so sorry, I've always loved her. 告诉她我很抱歉我一直爱着她He says he's so sorry! 他说他很抱歉And that he's always loved you! 他一直爱着你Please come up and talk to me. 请上来跟我谈谈Please come up and talk to him! 请上来跟他谈谈His life would be empty without you! 你走了他的生活将暗淡无光I'm sorry I'm going off script. It just felt right. 对不起我自由发挥了一下有感而发Oh. Good. Oh. 没事- T-too late. - No, you know what? -太迟了 -不这样好了Give him your cellphone. 把你的手机给他I'll chase Helen down and give her my phone. 我去追海伦然后把我的手机给她They can hash it out. 这样他们就可以好好谈谈了Are you -- are you serious? 你是你是认真的吗Yes, I'm serious as a heart attack. 没错珍珠都没这么真You always do this. 你老是这样Now we're gonna be late to our own party. 我们连自己办的派对都要迟到了Stop shouting. 别叫了Well, technically, I wasn't really -- 严格来讲我没有在Uh, yes, hello. Is Seymour Butts there? 你好喂西摩·巴茨在吗[音同"多点屁屁"]I'd never made a prank call... 我从来没打过恶作剧电话never mixed different sodas together 没试过把好几种汽水兑到一起to see what they'd taste like. 尝尝是什么味So I knew I had to make the most 所以我知道我必须of what little childhood I had left. 充分利用一下我所剩不多的童年了Not "Lutts". I'm looking for Butts. 不是拉茨我要找巴茨[与"屁屁"同音]Yes, I'm trying to get ahold of Butts. 是的我要找巴茨[与"屁屁"同音]Very funny. I don't have time for this foolishness. 很好笑我没时间跟你犯傻Maybe if you had a system for where you leave things. 也许你放东西应该更有条理I have a system. 我当然有条理I put down things, then I remember where I put them. 我把东西放下然后再记住我放哪了And that would be preferable 比如说你要是能把钥匙to, say, putting them on the key holder 放在这个长得像把大钥匙的which just happens to look like a large key. 钥匙架上就更好了Stop screaming! 别再叫唤了What are you doing? 你在干吗Turning back the clock. 找回逝去的童年Turning back the clock. 翻译：pettyyang 小蛮腰小含含 marktaotaoTurning back the clock. ■Turning back the clock. 时间轴：向日葵的星校对：crossfirezf 小蛮腰Turning back the clock. ■Turning back the clock. 后期：瓜瓜总监：小蛮腰Turning back the clock. ■Disgusting! 真恶心Don't judge me. You've never been married. 不许说我你又没结过婚This never happened. 这件事从没发生过I don't know what you're talking about. 我不知道你在说什么That's a good man. 好样的老伙计Boy. I'm a boy! 男孩我是个男孩You all right? You okay? 你还好吧没事吧W-why do you ask? 还用问吗Oh. Okay. Well, I think this is for you. 好的我想这是找你的I-I don't know what to say to him. 我我不知道该跟他说什么Just open your heart and listen, Helen. 你就敞开心扉然后听他说就好了海伦Okay. 好吧Hello? 喂I dropped your phone. 我把你的电话弄掉了I was here when it happened. 我就在这眼睁睁地看着呢Okay. It's all right. We'll just... 好了没事的我们就I can't. I-I just can't. 我做不到我做不到Helen, you have to try. I once almost let my own fears 海伦你要勇于尝试我曾经stop me from embarking on a relationship, 差点被恐惧占据而放弃了一段感情and I would have lost the love of my life. 从而错过了我生命中的挚爱- Helen! - Donald! -海伦 -唐纳德- Cam... - Hang on. Hang on, Helen! -小卡 -坚持住抓紧了海伦I'll have you down in a jiffy! 我马上抱你下去Hold on tight! Ow. Nails. 抓紧别掐我- Helen. Nails. Nails. Nails. - Helen. -海伦别掐别掐 -海伦Helen, please just give me a chance. 海伦求你再给我一次机会Give him a chance!! 给他一个机会吧She's right here. 她现在就在这儿Cam, come on. We're running out of time. 小卡快点我们没时间了We're running out of time? Sensitive. 谁说没时间了瞎操心Go to him. 接受他吧Ohh, I-it's nice that you care so much about us. 真感谢你那么关心我们Without love we're nothing. 没有爱的话我们什么都不是But what about his wife? 但是他的老婆怎么办It was a pleasure to meeting you both. 很高兴认识你俩I get it, Luke. You think he's the fun one. 我知道了卢克你觉得他比较有趣That's why you'd go with him. 所以你才跟他一起What? 什么You think your dad is more fun than I am. 你觉得你老爸比我有意思- Definitely. - "Definitely." -当然 -"当然"Dad's, like, crazy-fun. 老爸超级有趣- But you're nice. - I'm nice?! -但是你很好人 -我就是个好人吗Well, not now. 现在不是了Tell him. 跟他说吧- Tell me what? - Nothing. -跟我说什么 -没事Hey, what do we call daddy's car, girls? 姑娘们我们管老爸的车叫什么The cone of trust. 信任之蛋卷筒The cone of trust. Exactamundo. 信任之蛋卷筒没错Where you can speak your mind with no judgment. 在这儿你们可以畅所欲言而不受批评So, what is it? Boys? 那么是什么关于男生吗Your bodies are changing? Eggs? 你们的身体变化吗还是排卵No! No. 不不We were just thinking that maybe... 我们只是想也许...if -- if you're open to it -- 如果你能接受的话Dad, we love you, but we do not want 爸我们爱你但是我们今年真的to go to family camp this year. 不想去家庭夏令营了- Dad? Are you upset? - Nope. -爸你生气了吗 -没有Then what was that sniff? 那这抽泣声是怎么回事Sniff? What sniff? I'm -- I'm, uh -- 抽泣什么抽泣我我I'm actually relieved. 我其实是如释重负The day that I've been dreading, 我一直在担心有一天uh, the day when you two finally outgrow me, 你们最终长大了不再需要我has finally arrived, 这天终于到来了and I'm handling it really well. 而我淡定得很- Dad, are you crying? - Nope. -老爸你在哭吗 -没有- Are you sure you're okay? - Yep. -你确定你没事吗 -没事Oh, my god. He is crying. 我的天哪他哭了I've never seen dad cry before. 我以前从来没见咱爸哭过But, dad, if you cry, then I'll cry! 但是老爸要是你哭的话我也要哭了I'm not crying. 我没哭We made our daddy cry! 我们把老爸弄哭了You called me daddy? 你叫我爸爸吗Because you are our daddy! 因为你就是我们老爸I'll always be your daddy! 我永远是你们的爸爸Don't cry, mom. 别哭啊妈I am not crying. 我没哭Let me fill you in on a little secret, Luke. 我告诉你一个秘密卢克When I met your dad, I was fun, too. 我刚跟你爸认识的时候也很风趣But I had to give all that up, 但是后来我不得不放弃because you can't have two fun parents. 因为你们不能有一对风趣的爸妈That's a carnival. 那样就不可收拾了You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school 你记得那个叫利亚姆的小孩吗就是穿着睡衣上学and pays for things with a $100 bill? 然后用一百美元买东西的那个Two fun parents. Mark my words. 他就有一对有趣的父母记住我的话Oh, my god! Ohh! 啊我的天You're fun, too, mom. 老妈你也很有趣I just said I'd go with dad 我刚才说我要跟老爸一起because I think he'd need me more. 是因为我觉得他更需要我How come I do all the looking and you do all the sitting? 怎么我在这到处找而你却干坐着'Cause you do all the losing. 因为都是你弄丢的Oh, and you're this close 你再唠叨我就让你每天of doing all the sleeping in a tent in the backyard! 都睡后院的帐篷Did you check your purse? 你翻过你的包了吗Yes, of course! 当然了It's a big purse. You might want to look again. 这包很大你最好再检查一遍Okay. I check. You rest. 好吧我检查您老坐着No. There's nothing. 不在里面You're sure? 你确定Yes. I've looked twice now. 是的我都看了两遍了- There's nothing. - Okay. -什么都没有 -好吧Then you better call us a cab! 那你最好帮我们叫辆出租车Manny! Manny? 曼尼曼尼What the hell? Where'd that thing come from? 怎么回事这东西哪来的Christmas. Two years ago. Never took it out of the box. 两年前的圣诞节从来没从盒子里拿出来过"Who would enjoy that?" I thought. 我当时想"谁会喜欢这个呢"A kid, that's who. 答案就是小朋友Well, come on. We've got your party. 快点我们要去你的派对了What's the point? You were right. I-I was born 16. 何必呢你说的对我生来就十六岁I've lost my childhood. 我没有童年Why did you want me to look again in my purse, Jay, huh? 你为什么让我再翻一遍包包杰Is it because you put the keys in there? 是不是你把钥匙放进去的No. Why, did you find it? 我没有怎么你找到钥匙了吗Yes, I found them because you put the keys in there! 没错那是因为是你把钥匙放进去的Manny, what the hell are you doing there? 曼尼你他奶奶的在那干什么呢He wants to cancel his party because he missed his childhood 他想取消派对因为他错过了童年The party that I have rescheduled three times, 这个派对我重新安排了三次changed the restaurant twice 换了两次餐厅so that the whole family could be together?! 就为了全家能聚在一起你现在说不去了Please send my regrets. 我表示抱歉Now, if I could have a little privacy... 现在可以给我点私人空间了吧Privacy?! Esto es lo que me faltaba a me. 私人空间Privacy?! En esta casa? 私人空间吗Is that a skateboard down there? 下面那个是滑板吗The second thing that slipped right out from under me today. 这是我今天失去的第二件东西Okay, time to get out. 好了快出来吧The first was my childhood. 第一个是我的童年I get it! 我知道了I am so sick of stubborn men! 我真讨厌固执的人You, you act like a little boy 你你表现的就像个That doesn't want to accept that he's wrong. 不承认自己犯了错的小屁孩And you like a sad old man that doesn't want to be happy! 而你就像一个自怨自艾的老头子That's it! 老娘受够了- You could have shot me! - Come on, Manny. -你会射中我的 -得了吧曼尼I could've unbuttoned your shirt if I wanted to. 要是我想我可以用这个打掉你的扣子Now come here, or sink! 要么速度滚上来要么跟着这岛一起沉没And I'm taking this with me in the car. 我会在车上带着这把枪的Vamonos. 我们走吧I know that face, Mitchell. 我认得你这表情米奇尔Okay, a-and we're walking. 好吧我们要赶路呢It means you were right and I was wrong 你这表情是说你对了而我错了for trying to help two people. 就因为我要帮助那俩人- Adulterers? - Fair enough. -帮那对偷情的人吗 -我没话讲A-actually, the most adult adulterers ever. 说实话他们是我见过最老的偷情者了But my impulse was still right. 但我的初衷是好的- Oh, god. Here we go. - Life is about being -- -天呐又来了 - 生活就是Yes. You know what? Here we do go. 怎么我就是要说It's about being spontaneous. 生活就是要跟着感觉走It's about throwing yourself into something, 做自己想做的事情not working long hours every night at the office. 而不是每晚都在公司工作加班It's like you're living your l-- 你就像是生活在自己的...- What is this? - I don't know. -神马情况 -不知道Excuse me, constable, what -- what is going on? 打扰一下警官这是神马情况活动结束后迅速闪人一群陌生人通过网络等做出约定然后一起做出夸张举动Oh, it's a flash mob! It's a flash mob! 我知道了是快闪族快闪族Ooh! We saw it on Youtube. Remember? 还记得吗我们一起在视频网上看过People get together and choreograph big dance numbers! 许多人们聚在一起跳舞We should go. T-this is kind of weird. 我们还是快走吧这有点怪异No, this is joyful, Mitchell. 不要这很有趣米奇尔You, of all people, should -- 你应该...Cam's right. I can be a little rigid. 小卡说的对我是有点死板So when Chad from accounting, 所以有一天当会计部的查德who I always thought was gay 一个我一直以为是男同but apparently is not, 但其实却不是的人Um, told me about this flash mob, 问我要不要参加这次的快闪族活动I thought, "Hells yes". 我说当然愿意Uh, we've been practicing after work a couple of nights a week.我们每礼拜有好几天在下班后练舞And it's -- it's been a big commitment, 我们付出了很多but it's totally worth it. 但这太值了This dance is my love letter to Cam. 这次的舞蹈是我对小卡的一次爱的表白Okay, so, this is why I was rushing you around. 好了这就是我一直催你的原因Huh? What do you think of me now? 怎么样有没有改变你对我的看法How could you, Mitchell? 你怎么能这样对我米奇尔What? Cameron. 怎么了卡梅隆- Cameron. - Not now. Donald! -卡梅隆 -别烦我唐纳德You do fun stuff. 你也有搞笑的时候You put that potato chip in my sandwich. 你曾放过一片薯片在我的三明治里That was a crunchy surprise. 咔嚓一声吓了我一跳Nope, that was your dad. Everything fun is your dad. 那是你爸的主意家里的笑料都是他的主意Second Christmas, Italian-accent night... 圣再诞节意大利口音之夜this race. 还有这次比赛Which we could've won. Your way is way faster. 我们能赢这次比赛的你挑的路近多了It is, isn't it? 那是当然啊Buckle up, Luke. 坐稳了卢克Today you have two fun parents. 今天你将有一对搞笑的父母Come on, mom. You can do it. 老妈加油我相信你That's right I can. 那是当然Tell me the truth, Jay. 说实话吧杰Did you put the key in my bag? 是不是你把钥匙放在我包里的No. 不是I won't be mad. 我不会生气In order to prove a point, I may have -- 为了证明我的观点我有可能I knew it! 我就知道Why did I get you such a big watch?! 我怎么会给你买这么大一块表Why, Jay?! What point did you have to prove?! 为什么杰你到底想证明什么I'm trying to teach you to be organized. 我想让你变得有条理Your mind is scattered, Gloria. 你太散漫了歌洛莉亚Your mind is gonna be scattered. 看看待会谁比较散Manny, hand me the gun! 曼尼把枪拿来I appreciate the gesture, 谢谢你献舞给我and I'm not proud of how I'm feeling right now, 我也觉得我这个态度不太好but the fact is, you cheated on me. 可问题是你对我不忠In what way did I cheat on you? 我这算哪门子不忠You cheated on me with choreography, 你瞒着我排练舞蹈and that is the worst kind. 这是最严重的不忠Well, it really isn't. 这真的不算You danced without me, Mitchell! 你居然不带我自己去跳舞米奇尔If I'd known it was my last summer there, 早知道去年是我最后一次野营If I'd known it was my last summer there, Pippin是苹果在90年代出品的游戏机I'd have gone for the lead in "Pippin." 我就去竞争Pippin游戏社团的领导Dad, look up ahead. Coming at us. There's mom! 老爸看前面老妈正朝我们开过来Beat her! 打败他I don't think he's in the mood for that right now. 我认为他现在没心情比赛Hold on. No. 够了不行If ever a man needed a win, it's this man. 现在最需要赢得胜利的人就是你What do you say, dad? 你觉得呢老爸Okay. This one's for family camp. 好的为了家庭野营Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 冲冲冲冲冲冲冲冲- This is so inappropriate! - I love you! -这感觉太刺激了 -我爱你Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 冲冲冲冲冲冲冲冲Mom, look out! 妈妈小心Cam! 小心小卡Anybody hurt? 有人受伤吗I am. 我I was almost too depressed to come today. 我今天本来郁闷得都不想来了I realized I let my childhood slip away. 我发现我虚度了我的童年Look at Luke there... 看看卢克making one big straw out of three. 用三个吸管连成一根长的Never change, Luke. 保持童心吧卢克I really thought it was too late for me. 我真的以为现在挽回童年已经太迟了But watching all you acting like children, 但看到你们都这么大了还一个个耍孩子气it hit me -- I've got plenty of time left to be a kid. 我恍然大悟我还有大把时间当小孩呢Anyway, happy birthday to me. 总而言之祝我生日快乐Happy birthday, Manny. 生日快乐曼尼Happy birthday, Manny. 生日快乐曼尼I have been a child. 我太小孩子气了I'm sorry I hid the keys. 抱歉我藏了你的钥匙I'm sorry I shoot the island. 很抱歉我射沉了那座小岛We're totally racing home. 我们回家的路上再比一次I'm way ahead of you. 我可比你快多了As usual. 一向如此They say it's going to be a rainy weekend. 天气预报说本周末会下雨They don't know. 天气预报啥时候准过I do. My knee's been singing all morning. 可是我准我的膝盖都响了一个早上了Unbelievable. 难以置信Mother of g -- 我的妈呀Put them down and walk away. 把钥匙放下然后走开You know, Gloria -- 我跟你说歌洛莉亚。

Want some coffee? 要咖啡吗Say yes. It's french press. 来一杯吧这可是法式滤压壶泡出来的I was doubtful, too, 一开始我也怀疑but I honestly can't see myself going back to drip. 但说实话尝过之后普通的滤滴咖啡都是浮云I'm so happy you don't live in a tough neighborhood anymore.真高兴你们终于搬离那个是非之地了We're so sorry for just dropping by like this. 这样贸然来访真是不好意思Are you kidding me? 你们开什么玩笑I'll take any chance to spend time with this little princess. 我巴不得和这位小公主一起呢I love her little hair, her little toes. 软软头发小脚丫我打心底喜欢and she loves her grandmother. 她也打从心底里喜欢她的奶奶I don't love "Grandmother." 不许叫我"奶奶"So, Cam and I have been revising our will 我和小卡在修订遗嘱to specify who should take care of Lily 以防天有不测风云if, god forbid, something happened to us. 上帝保佑最好没有我们想给莉莉指定个监护人God forbid. 上帝会保佑咱俩的I said "God for--" 我刚说了"上帝保佑"So, we've been dropping by unannounced 所以我们多方突击to, you know, casually assess our candidates. 以对所有人选进行评估Not all of our candidates. 也不是"所有"啦No, t-that's true. We did not drop by Missour-ah. 这倒是我们没去密苏雷It's "Missouri." 那念"密苏里"No one from Missouri would say "Missour-ah." 真没见过自报家门还念错的I'm so sorr-ah. 多有失"雷"So, anyway, Claire and Phil were our first thought, 我们最先考虑的是克莱尔和菲尔so we dropped by their place last week. 所以上星期突袭了他们家You win the award for worst mother ever! 恭喜您获得"史上最烂老妈奖"I will be sure to thank you in my speech! 我一定会在获奖感言里感谢你Phil, the frying pan's on fire! 菲尔煎锅着火了Son of Jor-el! Everybody stay calm! 我滴超人呀大家保持冷静Dad, I'm gonna teach myself how to juggle. 老爸我想自学杂耍Good for you, buddy. 好极了伙计Mom! No one heard me screaming?! 老妈你们就听不见我喊救命吗I've been trapped in the garage for like 20 minutes! 我在车库里被关了大概有20分钟And yet still you didn't get the rat traps I sent you for. 而你还是没把我要的捕鼠器拿过来- Oh! - Thank you. -老天 -净帮倒忙Honey, it's doing it again! 亲爱的锅又着火了Come on, now! Every morning?! 不是吧每天早上都这样I hope the whole house burns down! 最好烧个片瓦不留Did we come at a bad time? 我们是不是来得不巧Come back in seven years and five months, 等上七年五个月再来吧when they're all gone! 他们走了就清净了So, mama, you're good for coal?! 煤够吗妈妈Okay, okay! 好的好的Well, you bundle up! 你可得裹厚穿暖咯We don't want to lose you! 可别有个三长两短的Okay. Yeah, bye! 好的再见They're in the middle of a terrible blizzard. 他们正处在一场严重暴风雪正中So you shouted! 难怪你要大声嚷嚷Did they really lose two cows? 他们真的损失了两头牛吗Oh, yeah, frozen solid. Mama's gonna send pictures. 对啊冻得硬梆梆妈妈会把照片寄过来Oh, yay, a reason to stop by the frame store. 好耶又有理由去买相框了Manny, I got to get you down to that sporting-goods place. 曼尼我带你去趟体育用品店- Got to get him some stuff for his weekend outing. - Ready! -为他周末露营置点东西 -整装待发- Did you pee? Not ready. -尿干净了吗 -待会再发- Jay, would you mind if we came? - Sure, why not? -不介意我们跟来吧杰 -怎么会呢You know, I'd like to get mama some snowshoes -- 我想给妈妈买两双雪靴You know, to lift her spirits, 雪中送靴鼓鼓士气what with all the frozen cows and all. 舒缓丧牛之痛So, cows freeze now? Are we all just accepting that? 所以牛现在就冻住了你认为我们会相信吗Oh, yeah, absolutely. Jay, this one time -- 当然了杰就次...We'll take two cars. 我们分车坐If you want, I can stay with the little princess. 我可以留下来照顾小公主Oh, that-- that's a great idea. 那可太好了Oh, yeah, I'll just -- I'll just go out and get her bag. 我去拿她的包Maybe I can take her to the mall, 我想带她去商场buy her a new outfit, 给她添件新衣服get her some hair rings -- is that okay? 给她整俩发环什么的可以吗Yes, yes, of course. 当然可以Um, you know, Gloria, Cam and I were talking 其实呢歌洛莉亚我跟小卡一直商量about what would happen to Lily 如果我们真出事了if anything were ever to happen to us, 该怎么安置莉莉- and we were thinking - Oh, my god. Is it? I take her! -我们打算 -真的吗让我来照顾她Okay, well, that's very sweet, 这个嘛你愿意固然好but you realize it would only happen -- 但要明白只有真出事了...I can't wait! 我迫不及待啊Okay, well, hopefully, it's a long shot. 可惜机会渺茫呀Ay, a little girl! 小丫头There would have to be a very tragic accident. 一旦出事可就惨绝人寰啊I know, I know. 知道啦知道啦Nothing is going to happen. 你们不会出事的Oh. 好吧But if it did, we would be so happy! 万一真出了事我可就太开心啦So, what do you say, pal? I got to swing by the office. 怎么样伙计我要开车去上班You want to come along? 你一起来吗Can't. We got some stuff to do. 去不了我们有事要做- What? - Just errands. -什么事啊 -小事而已I'm taking Luke to see a child psychologist. 我要带卢克去看儿童心理学家This is something that Phil would never agree to. 菲尔肯定不会同意He's doesn't want luke to feel...different. 他不想卢克觉得自己异于常人But Luke's grades aren't great, 但是卢克学习不好and he's having trouble concentrating in school. 而且他在学校注意力涣散I just want to make sure that he's...normal. 我只想确保他身心正常- Hey, mom, check it out. - What are you doing? -妈妈快看呀 -你干什么呢If I move my head fast enough, 只要我晃头的速度够快It looks like the can is standing still. 这罐子看起来就像静止了一样'cause sometimes I wonder. 因为有时我怀疑But all the girls at work love it 不过我公司的女孩子when I bring luke by, 都喜欢我带卢克过去especially that receptionist Heather, right, buddy? 特别是那个叫海瑟的前台是吧She smells amazing. 她闻起来很香Mm. Well, honey, you're gonna have to 亲爱的恐怕你得改天再去smell daddy's receptionist some other time. 一闻你老爸前台的芳香了Like peaches. 那香味像桃子If you're both going out, who's taking me to cello? 你们都出去了谁带我去练大提琴- One time, she gave me a woody. - Sweet je-- -有次她送我一个胡迪 -亲爱的She remembered he's my favorite character from "Toy story."她记得那是《玩具总动员》里我最喜欢的角色She did. 她记性好Uh...Haley, how are you getting to the mall? 海莉你怎么去购物中心Uh, Gabby's picking me up. 盖比接我过去Okay, you're gonna drop 好那你先把你妹妹your sister off at her cello lesson first. 送去上大提琴课No way. She plays lacrosse and takes cello lessons. 不是吧她会打长曲棍球还会拉大提琴Even my reputation can't handle that dork hit. 即使我那强大的坏名声也承受不住那呆瓜的一击呀Okay, well, then you don't need 好吧那你假期的时候to go snowboarding with your friends on break. 也不要和你的朋友去滑雪了Fine, I'll take her. 好吧我带她过去Just never look my friends in the eye, 别跟我朋友直视and only speak in emergencies. 尽量别出声- Got it. - Ah! Already failed. -没问题 -已经犯规了Honey, after I go by the office, 亲爱的我去办公室露个脸- maybe we can grab some lunch. - Oh, I can't. -咱们就去吃午饭吧 -不行I got to pick up all that stuff for the school trip. 我要把学校露营的东西都准备齐了But you know what? I'll see you tonight at dad and Gloria's. 这样吧今晚在老爸和歌洛莉亚家碰面吧- Okay. - Smell Heather for me. -好 -代我一闻海瑟的芳香I always do...not. 我一直都是充鼻不闻Ms. Dunphy? 邓菲夫人吗Hi, Dr. Klausner. 克劳斯乐医生您好I am so sorry we're late. 抱歉我们来晚了We just got a little bit caught up in -- 刚才路上有点堵车Oh, no, it's okay. It's okay. 没事没事It gave me a chance to chat with your husband. 正好给我机会跟你丈夫聊了会Hello, Claire. 你好啊克莱尔So, Luke, come on in with me. 那么卢克跟我来Mom and dad, we'll let you know when we need you. 至于父母有需要我们会通知你们的Go get 'em, pal. 伙计加油- How did you -- - How did I what? -你怎么 -我怎么了Know you were someplace you left no trace of 怎么知道你在这儿除了日程表上的小记号except for a tiny notation in your calendar? 你没有留下一丝线索It was quite simple, really. 真挺容易的I noticed a tiny nota-- 我注意到日程表上的小Shoot. 糟糕That's weird. My cello teacher's car isn't here. 真奇怪我大提琴老师的车不在I wonder if she's not home. 我真怀疑她是否在家Okay, so go knock on the door, Alan Einstein. 那就敲门试试啊艾伦·爱因斯坦- Don't leave. And it's "Albert."- I know. - 不许走还有是"阿尔伯特" -我知道Alan's his dorky brother who played the cello. 艾伦是他那个拉大提琴的呆瓜弟弟Good one. 说得好I should probably not be telling you this. 我本来不应该跟你说的- What? - Nothing. It's really bad. -什么 -没什么很糟的事情Tell me. 快说When you and Dylan were broken up, 你和迪兰分手的时候Rachel told him you were a skank 雷切尔跟他说你是个荡妇and got all up on him. 然后彻底偷走了他No! But she's so nice to me. 不是吧她对我很好的To your face. That's how she plays. 当着你的面而已她就会耍这种小把戏Well, now she's gonna see how we play. 那就让她看看咱们的小把戏What are we gonna do? 我们要怎么做She's not there. You're just gonna have to take me home. 她不在家你们把我送回家就行了We don't have time. We have stuff to do. 我们没时间忙着呢Then I'm just gonna have to come with you. 那我就得一直跟着你了Can't we just drop her off 我们不能把她放在咖啡厅at a coffee shop or something? 或者别的什么地方吗What, so she gets kidnapped 什么啊那她要是被绑架了and I get in trouble? 我不等于惹祸上身吗No, thank you. 谢谢还是算了Okay, fine, you can come with us, 行你能跟着But you have to keep your mouth shut about anything you see. 但是不管看到什么请管好你的嘴- What's she gonna see? - Just drive! -她会看到什么 -开车Ooh, maybe I should also get a gift for my aunt Pat. 或许我应该给我的阿姨派特也买个礼物Have I ever told you about her? 我有跟你提起过她吗Total gun nut, lives completely off the grid. 是一个十足的枪械狂不留痕迹地生活着Did you see how cute Gloria was with Lily? 你看见歌洛莉亚和莉莉在一起多可爱Oh, Pat is hilarious. 派特十分滑稽I don't think she's paid taxes in 20 years, 我觉得她二十年都没交过税but very hospitable. 但为人很热情Always has a deer in the freezer. 冰箱里总是备着一只鹿Would you listen to me? 你有在听我说话吗I think that Gloria and my dad 我觉得歌洛莉亚和我老爸could be Lily's guardians. 可以做莉莉的监护人Look, you know I love Jay, 听着你知道我爱杰and they're still in the mix, 他们家还在名单中but I just don't know about him raising a child. 但他养育孩子方面我还不了解Well, Cam, he raised me. 得了小卡他把我养大了Well, now you've put me in an awkward position. 好吧你这话就让我陷入了尴尬的局面Oh, look at that. That's adorable. 看看这真可爱Let's see if we can get you some snow pants. 看看能不能帮你找几条滑雪裤I just wish I felt better. 真希望我感觉好点了I think I'm coming down with flu-like symptoms. 我觉得我有些流感症状Couple of hours before your camping trip, huh? 就在去露营的前几小时吗I want to go. 我想去啊It's just, if I'm sick, 只不过要是我病了I might get the chaperones sick, 我可能会传给监护人And without chaperones, it's anarchy. 要是没有监护人就乱套了Manny, listen to me. 曼尼听我说The buddy system falls apart, 伙伴制会崩溃的The principle of "Last in, first out" is ignored. "后进先出"的规则就会被忽视- It's butterflies. - Where? -有蝴蝶 -在哪儿You're just nervous because 你不过是紧张了因为there's gonna be a lot of physical activity, 会有很多的体育活动which is not exactly your strong suit. 而且都不是你的长处It is a little daunting out there. 那地方有点让人龟缩D-don't use the word "daunting" in nature, okay? 不要对大自然用"龟缩"这个词儿You just need a little self-confidence. 你需要一点点自信Look at this. They got one of these rock walls here. 看他们有一堵攀岩墙Why don't you hop up on that? 去试一试吧Why? 为什么Why? To prove that you can do it. 什么为什么这可以证明你能行If you can do that, you can do anything. 你要是能做到这个你什么都能做到Really? Can I fly? Can I speak Chinese? 是吗我能飞吗我能讲中文吗No, but you can sleep in the house tonight. 不但你今晚能在我们房里睡觉Ace? Want to wire my boy up, here? Go ahead. 埃斯麻烦给我孩子系上绳子去吧I'm sorry I went behind your back. 抱歉我背着你来这儿But you get so defensive whenever 但是我们每次讨论卢克的问题时we talk about Luke's issues. 你总是不容分说地反对He doesn't have issues. You're just a worrier. 他没有问题是你太过担心了Like when you thought he was never gonna talk. 就像你当初担心他以后不会讲话一样He was 2, and all he could do was bark! 他两岁那会儿只会跟狗一样吠- I understood him. - Phil! -我了解他 -菲尔Look, he starts coming here, 听着他来看医生的事情the other kids find out, he becomes a target, 如果被别的孩子知道他就成了众矢之的like that limping gazelle at the watering hole 就像跛脚的羚羊在水潭边喝水that the alligator knows to eat. 被短吻鳄发现了就会来吃它They're crocodiles, not alligators. 是鳄鱼不是短吻鳄There are no alligators in Africa. 非洲没有短吻鳄How about at the zoo? 那动物园呢Bam! Who needs a shrink now? 看吧到底谁才要看心理医生- Mr. And mrs. Dunphy? - Yes? -邓菲先生邓菲太太 -什么事Hi. 你好Luke, I'm gonna talk to your mom and dad for a minute, okay? 卢克我要跟你爸爸妈妈谈一谈好吗Okay. She's, like, the best doctor ever. 好的她简直是我见过最好的医生A couple of puzzles, no shots. 只做了几个题又不用打针I didn't even have to take my pants off. 我甚至根本不需要脱裤子Found that one out a little late. 早就应该找这种医生了I've been there, buddy. 我以前也遇到过烂医生Well, luke's a terrific kid. 卢克这孩子很不错I have a few thoughts, but, honestly, 我是发现了一些问题但是说实话I don't see anything that's cause for alarm. 我觉得没有什么好紧张的Awesome. Thanks so much for your time. 那敢情好耽误您的时间了We -- we would love to hear your thoughts. 我们很想听听您的意见Well...he's a bright and curious boy, 他是个聪明充满好奇的孩子But he gets distracted. 但是他容易分神I see it all the time with above-average kids. 我见过很多更容易分神的孩子Phil, honey, I want you to hear this. 菲尔亲爱的给我认真听They're a little overstimulated 他们会有点过度兴奋because there are so many things they're interested in. 因为他们对很多事情都充满好奇They never seem to focus. 他们很难集中精力Makes me crazy. 就这点让我抓狂Too crazy. 抓狂得不得了Well, they usually do outgrow it. 他们长大了就不会这样了- What if they don't? - He will. -要是还这样呢 -他不会的Well, there's -- there's medication, 是有一些药物治疗方案but why don't we cross that bridge if we come to it? 但是我们得在有问题的时候才使用Is there any way to avoid that bridge altogether? 有没有方法可以防止问题出现呢You know, maybe there's diet or -- 或许有食疗or focusing exercises or something? 或者精神集中训练之类的Mrs. Dunphy, what exactly are you worried about? 邓菲太太你到底在担心什么Get comfortable. 庸人自扰I'm worried he's turning into you, Phil. 我担心他会变成你这样菲尔I knew the minute I opened my mouth 我知道我在说出这些话的时候that I was in the wrong, 我已经错了but, honestly, sometimes I wonder about him. 但是说实话有时候我有点搞不懂- Hey, mom, check it out. - What are you doing? -妈你看我 -你在干嘛If I move my head fast enough, 如果我头摇得够快it looks like the can is standing still. 这罐子看起来就像静止了一样He's totally right! 他说得太对了I just find it interesting that you blame Jay 真有意思你以前把你从做恶梦for everything from your night terrors to your shy bladder,到膀胱害羞症这些事情都归咎于你老爹And now he's the perfect guardian for Lily. 现在他又成了莉莉最合适的监护人No, not perfect, and -- and 我没说最合适还有I never said anything about my shy bladder. 我从来没提到过我的膀胱害羞症O-oh. Then why did I have to stand guard outside the bathroom那为什么在派珀的三面元旦派对上O-oh. Then why did I have to stand guard outside the bathroom The Three Faces of Eve 《三面夏娃》美国电影派珀喜欢开主题派对at Pepper's three faces of new year's eve party? 我得站在厕所外面放哨呢Damn it, Manny! Move it! Go! 给点力曼尼快爬快It's scary. 好吓人啊You're 2 feet off the ground. 你才离地两英尺I've seen vines climb walls faster than that. 藤蔓爬墙都比你快Move your butt! 赶紧给我爬Oh, well, there's your esteem-building parent right there. 这就是曾经让你树立自信的老爸Wait, wait, I think I hear future Lily 等等我觉得我听见未来的莉莉sending us a message from her stripper pole -- 在脱衣舞钢管上面给我发来信息"Thanks, gay dead dads. "感谢已故的同性恋爸爸们This dance is for you." 这舞是给你们跳的"Excuse me, Jay? 打扰一下杰I'm getting down. 我想下来Not till you touch the top! What is it? 等你爬到顶了再说什么事Well, maybe if we didn't bully Manny so much, 如果我们不这么强迫曼尼but, rather, showed him, 而是演示给他看he wouldn't be so afraid. 他可能就不会那么害怕Excuse me, Sherpa, can you assist me with the harness? 打扰一下夏尔巴人能帮我系上吗Oh, no. Which one of these is my driving machine? 天啊我的驾驶机器在哪里Phil, I already apologized. 菲尔我已经道歉了It just -- it came out wrong. 那是无意识脱口而出的Funny, I thought that was my problem -- 真有趣我还以为是我的问题呢I came out wrong. 我出来错了Hold on. 等下Oh, good, I can walk again. 很好我又能走路了Honey, you know, sometimes you can act a little bit -- 亲爱的有时候你能表现得稍微Oh, no! Where did everyone go?! 天啊大家都去哪了Oh, just a blink. 一眨眼就不见了Phil, 菲尔when you are ready to talk to me like an adult, 当你准备好像个成人一样跟我谈的时候why don't you let me know? 知会我一声好吗Fine. Okay, okay. 好的行了行了The adults are the big ones, right? 成人是指那些"大"的人对吧Hey, how do you think that got up there? 你认为那是怎么挂上去的Now, I know it seems daunting, 我知道这看起来让人龟缩Manny, but it's very simple. 曼尼但是这其实很简单I'm securely hitched to a rope, 我安全地拴在绳子上which means I'm not going to fall. 也就是说我不会掉下来You know, dad, you're really making 爸爸你让我的日子- my life difficult right now.- How? -现在变得真不好过 -怎么说By barking at Manny like a drill sergeant 当我试着说服小卡when I'm trying to convince Cam 你会是莉莉很好的监护人时that you'd be a great guardian for lily. 你却像教官一样地训曼尼- Guardian? - Yeah. -监护人 -没错You're kidding. 你开什么玩笑Jay! 杰Yeah, never mind. 算了当我没说过That really hurt! 这真的很痛This is a mistake. 这是一个错误Why does she keep saying that? 为什么她要不停的说这句话Because they're the first words she ever heard. 因为这是她第一次听到"错误"这个词儿Here, you go first. 给你你先来This will teach that Skank a lesson. 给这个荡妇一个教训Shaving cream in her locker? 往她的置物柜中挤奶油Just stand over there and yell if someone's coming. 你就站在那儿把风有人来了就叫She might have homework assignments in there 她那里可能有还没she hasn't handed in yet. 交上去的作业Haley! 海莉- Someone's coming! - Run! -有人来了 -快跑- This way, this way! - Okay, okay, okay! -这边这边 -好的好的好的- Where are we? - Boys' locker room. -我们在哪 -男生置物间It smells like feet. 闻起来有股脚臭味That's not feet. Okay. Come here. 这可不是脚臭好的来这边I'm so scared. 我很害怕Just go to your happy place. 想想那些能令你开心的地方We just broke into my happy place. 刚搞破坏的就是能令我开心的地方Who's there? 谁在哪Go, go, run, run! 走走跑跑Not so loud! Run! Run! 不要这么大声快跑快跑So, how you doing? 你怎么样了Oh, not good. I'm just glad my clown training 不好我很庆幸我的小丑训练课程prepared me to take a fall like that. 让我懂得如何栽跟头Yeah, and in terms of talking about it, 很好你以后肯定会对这事喋喋不休Are we looking at weeks, months? 你是打算说上几周呢还是几个月呢Do not minimize it, you, 不要小看它造成的伤害who I had to rush to the emergency room 你上次穿木屐滑到that time you fell out of your clogs. 居然要我跑到急诊室看你There's your bubbly water with lemon. 这是你要的柠檬气泡水Thank you, Jay. 谢谢你杰How you doin'? 你怎么样了Oh, it's hard to tell. 很难说You know, anytime you have 一旦你的腰部a catastrophic injury to your lumbar area -- 出现了重大损伤I could use a little piece of lumbar myself right now. 你要算有腰一族那我肯定是水蛇腰了Well, I hope you're comfortable now 现在让我的家人当莉莉的监护人making my family Lily's guardians. 你不会有异议了吧HOLA, HOLA! 你好你好You're forgetting about Gloria. 你忘了还有歌洛莉亚Even you have to admit how amazing she is with Lily. 你得承认她和莉莉相处的很不错Mm! Look who's so pretty! 谁家的女儿这么漂亮啊Oh, my god! 天啊Gloria, what did you do? 歌洛莉亚你做了什么What I told you. 我跟你说过了啊You pierced her ears?! 你给她穿了耳洞What I said -- 我说过I was going to make her pretty with earrings. 我要用耳环把她点缀得更漂亮I thought you said "Hair rings." 我以为你说的是"发环"What are hair rings? 发环是什么Yes, Mitchell, what are hair rings? 是的米奇尔什么是发环Something that you would tie your hair back -- 某种能把头发系在后面she said it! 她是这么说的I didn't say "Hair rings." I said "Earrings." 我没有说"发环" 我说的"耳环"You don't like? 你不喜欢吗Of course not. You punctured our daughter! 当然不你带我们的女儿去打洞But did you see both sides? 但你看两边了吗I didn't just do the gay ear. 除了同志专用耳我另外一只也打了Look. 瞧Oh, my god. 天啊Oh, my God. 天啊I actually -- I think we're good. 我觉得咱们逃过一劫了Let's just wait in here for Gabby, okay? 我们在这里等盖比好吗Oh, my god! I can't believe we just did that. 天我真不敢相信我们刚做了什么Can you believe we just did that? 你能相信刚才我们这么做了吗Yeah, we had a lot of fun. Let's not geek it up. 是的我们玩的很开心用不着大惊小怪Wait. What if I have a taste for it now? 等等如果我爱上这种感觉了怎么办Am I gonna start doing stuff like that all the time? 我会不会开始一直做这种事情Calm down. You just did one bad thing. 冷静点你只不过做了一件坏事Two. 两件I skipped my cello lesson today. 我还翘掉了今天的大提琴课That wasn't even where my teacher lives. 我的老师根本不住那儿You ditched a class? 你竟然翘课Well, I-I didn't have time to practice 我-我根本没有时间练习Because of lacrosse and debate team and -- 因为我有曲棍球和辩论小组还有--Do you even like playing the cello? 你根本不喜欢弹大提琴吧Yeah. 我喜欢啊Alex? 艾丽克斯I hate it. 我讨厌它So quit. 那就放弃啊I've never quit anything. 我从没放弃过任何东西You've never broke into a school before. 你以前还没闯入过学校呢Just did that. 你不是刚刚也闯了吗No offense, but the family's hopes and dreams 无意冒犯不过咱们家的希望和梦想are kind of pinned on me. 貌似都寄托在我身上I'm just saying that no one would blame you 我只是说就算你没有这么完美if you stopped being so perfect. 也不会有人责怪你的It actually would take a lot of pressure off of me. 实际上那样反倒会让我轻松不少I did something bad, too... 我也做过一些坏事Something that nobody knows. 一些没有人知道的事- What? - Come here. -是什么事 -过来I can't say it too loud, okay? 我不能太大声说What did you do? 你到底做了什么Phil, I'm just not sure you understand 菲尔我只是不确定你是否明白why I said what I said. 我会说那些话的原因There are qualities about me you wish you could change,在我身上有很多你希望能够改变的缺点but you can't 'cause I'm all grown up, 但你改不了了因为我已经定型了but it's not too late for Luke. 可是对卢克来说还不算太晚Okay. 好吧Honey, there are a hundred things about luke 亲爱的卢克身上有无数遗传你的优点that he gets from you that I absolutely love. 那些都是我绝对喜爱的It's just this -- this one tiny part 只是只是有这么小小的一部分that I'm sure if I could just get in there and just...ee! 我坚信如果我能探进去然后改过来Claire... he's a great kid. 克莱尔他是个很好的孩子He's gonna be fine. 他会没事儿的I know. 我知道I think I know. 我想我应该知道吧I feel terrible that we fought in front of him. 咱们俩在他面前吵架真是糟透了Did he say anything about that on the drive here? 他在回来的路上跟你说什么了吗How would I know? He rode with you. 我怎么知道他是跟你回来的He didn't drive with me. He drove with you. 他没跟我回来他坐的是你的车Just admit it -- 你就承认吧you want lily raised by anyone but my family. 除了我的家人你觉得莉莉被谁养大都行It's just so far away from everything she knows. 只是因为那种生活和她了解的一切相去甚远And then there's the crazy aunts and the frozen cows. 而且那里有位疯狂的阿姨和两头冻奶牛Oh, please, in the last hour, 拜托就在前一小时your father publicly shamed Manny, 你爸让曼尼在大庭广众之下丢了脸dropped me from the sky, 把我从半空摔了下来while his wife drilled holes in our baby's head. 他老婆还在我们宝贝的耳朵上打了两个洞Which is why I think 所以我才认为we should revisit claire and phil. 咱们应该再去克莱尔和菲尔那里看看Where are my keys? 我的钥匙呢We left Luke alone in a parking garage! 我们把卢克一个人留在停车场了We don't know the whole story. 我们并不了解整件事Don't we? 真的吗- Whose car are we taking? - Mine. -咱们开谁的车去 -我的Then I'm driving! 那我来开车Hey, mom. 妈妈- Buddy! - Luke? -儿子 -卢克- Buddy! - Lukey? -儿子 -小克- Thank you so much. - Honey, get out of there. -太谢谢您了 -宝贝儿快下来Thank you! 谢谢I'm so sorry. We are so sorry. 我很抱歉我们非常抱歉- Oh, buddy, you must've been so scared.- No. -儿子你肯定吓坏了吧 -没有- Oh, god. - Well, what happened? -天哪 -是怎么回事儿Well, I knew you'd come back. 我知道你们会回来的Then you didn't. 结果你们没来So I had to go find a phone. 所以我只好去找电话That's when I saw a stray dog 就是那时候我看见了一只迷路的狗and I played with him for a while. 然后和他玩儿了一会儿Then I thought I saw mrs. Morgan, 接着我以为我看见我一年级时的老师my first-grade teacher, going into a church. 摩根太太她正要进教堂It wasn't her, 结果那不是她but there was a wedding there. 但是那时教堂正好在举行婚礼That's where I met the Litvaks. 我就是在那里遇见利特瓦克一家的Oh, thank you! Thank you so much. 谢谢你们太感谢了Congratul-- tov. 恭喜恭喜[Mazel Tov为犹太语的恭喜]Mwah! Oh, baby. 宝贝儿- Can I go get a drink? - Yes, you can. -我能去喝点东西吗 -当然可以Yes, you can! You can drink whatever you want! 去喝吧想喝什么就喝什么There's tons of soda in there. 家里有一堆汽水呢What an amazing kid! 多棒的孩子I can't believe I ever worried about him out in the world. 真不敢相信我会担心他在外边出事That's what I do, though, isn't it? I worry. 但母亲都这样对吧我担心I worry -- I think about a tiny, little thing, 我担心他我只不过想到了一点小事and then I obsess on it, until, suddenly, 就一直钻牛角尖直到刚才突然间it's the only thing I can think about. 我脑子里只想着一件事God, please don't let me screw up our son. 上帝啊别让我毁了咱们的儿子You know why else he's gonna be okay? 你知道他还会因为什么没事吗No. 不知道Because somewhere out there is a worried little girl 因为这个世界上一定还有个担忧的小女生who's making lists and labeling bins, 像你一样会列一堆清单会给垃圾分类and he's gonna find her. 他会找到她的Cam? 小卡I know you're kind of down on jay being lily's guardian.我知道你对杰成为莉莉的监护人的事有偏见Now, that's not anything you need to worry about, Manny. 你不用管这事曼尼I just think you're being too hard on him. 我只是觉得你对他太苛刻了We had a little chat in the car. 我和他在车里小谈了一下I'm sorry I let you down, Jay. 很抱歉让你失望了杰I'm starting to think if I couldn't even get up that wall, 我开始觉得如果我连那堵墙都爬不上。

台词：
1、米斯嘎，木斯嘎，米老鼠。

妙妙嘿，妙妙嗨，妙妙呵。

一是就位, ，二是预备，三是开始，你是会用脑筋解决问题的人。

2、妙妙的我，妙妙的你，找到答案。

哦，土豆
我们有耳朵，欢乐多多
欢乐多更多
3、好帅，好帅，汪汪，好帅，好帅，今天精彩。

我们有耳朵，欢乐多多。

好帅，好帅，难题解开，好帅，好帅，今天精彩。

4、《米奇妙妙屋》是迪士尼公司专为学龄前儿童全新制作的3D动画。

内容生动有趣，让孩子在欢乐的气氛中学习数字，形状及逻辑思考等基础能力，是一部寓教于乐、适合父母与孩子共同欣赏的系列卡通。

5、据相关统计显示，95%的家长表示，在和小孩一起收看《米奇妙妙屋》时，感觉到有助增进家长与小孩的沟通；而90%的小孩则在观看《米奇妙妙屋》变得更为独立和主动。

扩展资料
《米奇妙妙屋》在美国迪斯尼频道《迪斯尼游戏屋》时段首播便轻松打破收视纪录，成为有线电视在该时段中2-5岁儿童，以及18-49妇女观众的收视第一名。

该剧在亚洲迪斯尼频道和迪斯尼游戏屋频道首播时，也创下亚太区大多数市场同时段的收视冠军。

在中国同样《米奇妙妙屋》和《喜羊羊与灰太狼》一样获得众多孩子的欢心，特别里面的卡通形象更是深入人心。

⼉童益智动画⽚⼉童益智动画⽚⼤全 许多家长担忧孩⼦会沉迷动画⽚，所以就会禁⽌孩⼦看动画⽚。

其实幼⼉看动画⽚是有许多好处的，但是，在动画⽚的选择上家长们要尤为谨慎⼩⼼了。

下⾯是⼩编整理的关于⼉童益智动画⽚⼤全，欢迎⼤家参考! 适合幼⼉看的动画⽚之⼀：⽶奇妙妙屋 美国华特·迪⼠尼公司打造，⾦牌卡通作品《⽶奇妙妙屋》终于和中国的⼤⼩朋友见⾯了!全新的《⽶奇妙妙屋》以3D画⾯，讲述有趣好玩的⽶奇家族以及他的朋友们，如何以寓教于乐的⽅式学习、如何以独⽴思考⾓度解决问题，以及如何以团体合作的⽅式克服困难的故事。

孩⼦们可以在这套互动作品中和⽶奇(Mickey Mouse)、⽶妮(Minnie Mouse)、⾼飞(Goofy)、布鲁托(Pluto)、唐⽼鸭(Donald Duck)、黛丝(Daisy Duck)这些熟悉的迪⼠尼明星共渡欢乐时光。

据悉此剧在美国迪斯尼频道《迪斯尼游戏屋》时段⾸播便轻松打破收视纪录，成为有线电视在该时段中2-5岁⼉童，以及18-49妇⼥观众的收视第⼀名。

该剧在亚洲迪斯尼频道和迪斯尼游戏屋频道⾸播时，也创下亚太区⼤多数市场同时段的收视冠军。

据相关统计显⽰，95%的家长表⽰，在和⼩孩⼀起收看《⽶奇妙妙屋》时，感觉到有助增进家长与⼩孩的沟通;⽽90%的⼩孩则在观看《⽶奇妙妙屋》变得更为独⽴和主动。

《⽶奇妙妙屋》讲述⽶奇和伙伴们邀请作为观众的你，⼀同参加筹备已久的精彩复活节派对! 但派对却因⽶奇妙妙屋突然神秘地散开⽽被临时取消。

究竟如何寻回在⽶妮、唐⽼鸭、⾼飞和黛西眼前消失的奇妙屋?⽶奇需要电视机前的您出⼿相助!⼀同展开前所未有的⼤冒险来，拯救⽶奇的朋友，并让妙妙屋完好如初。

《⽶奇妙妙屋》和其他学龄⼉童动画最与众不同的地⽅在于，它在讲故事的过程中，会与看故事的⼩朋友⼀起互动，通过简单的⼀问⼀答⽅式，让⼩朋友亲历⽶奇的奇妙探险之旅，从⽽训练幼⼉早期数学与逻辑分析能⼒，具体包括：形状、尺度、数字、关联等的认识。

海绵宝宝第二季英文字幕目录：Season 221 Your Shoe's UntiedSquid's Day Off22 Something SmellsBossy Boots23 Big Pink LoserBubble Buddy24 Dying For PieImitation Krabs25 WormyPatty Hype26 Grandma's KissesSquidville27 Pre-Hibernation WeekLife of Crime28 Christmas Who?29 Survival of the IdiotsDumped30 No Free RidesI'm Your Biggest Fanatic31 Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III Squirrel Jokes32 PressureThe Smoking Peanut33 ShanghaiedGary Takes A Bath34 Welcome to the Chum Bucket Frankendoodle35 The Secret BoxBand Geeks36 Graveyard ShiftKrusty Love37 ProcrastinationI'm with Stupid38 Sailor MouthArtist Unknown39 Jellyfish HunterThe Fry Cook Games40 Squid on StrikeSandy, SpongeBob and the Worm21. *Your Shoe's Untied*Dialogue(SpongeBob is watching sea-creatures on TV)Gary: Meow.SpongeBob: Gary! (changes channel to a football game) Uhh, I was just looking for the sports channel, Gary. (knock on door) Come in!Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, wanna see my new shoes? (shows blue tennis shoes)SpongeBob: Wow! Those are great, Patrick! Let's see what they look like on your feet.Patrick: Uhh, wouldn't you rather see them on my hands? (puts shoes on his hands)SpongeBob: Ok. (puts white gloves on his feet) And we can wear gloves on our feet... (puts hat on his back) and hats on our captain's quarters, too!Patrick: Uhh, actually, I have a confession to make. (whispers in his ear) I don't know how to tie my shoelaces.SpongeBob: (laughs) Do you know how lucky you are to have a friend like me?Patrick: Yes. (SpongeBob places one foot on the chair)SpongeBob: Look at this knot. Have you ever seen a more perfectly executed shoe-fastening bow?Patrick: Gosh, probably not.SpongeBob: I learned when I was just a boy, Patrick, and I'm willing to pass on what I know. Go sit over there and let an old pro show you how to do it. (Patrick sits down in the chair and SpongeBob sets his foot on the chair arm) Pay close attention,Patrick. (unties his laces) Well, you start by taking one lace per hand. (grabs both laces) And then you...uhh, you gotta...loop the...uhh...Patrick: Are you sure you know how to do it?SpongeBob: Patrick, please! Shoe-tying requires peace and quiet! Okay, where was I?Patrick: Your shoes are still untied. (SpongeBob takes his shoe off the chair) SpongeBob: Well, I guess you don't want me to show you how to do it.Patrick: I'm sorry! (covers his mouth with his shoes) I won't interrupt anymore!SpongeBob: I've got it! The first rule of shoe-tying is always start with your right foot. Now the lesson will officially begin. (sets his right foot on the chair arm and unties his laces. Ties his laces but they come undone. SpongeBob laughs nervously and tries again but the laces untie themselves once more) That's "knot" right. (laughs) Get it? Knot...right?Patrick: No.SpongeBob: Okay, no more fooling around! (tries to tie the laces again) I've got it! (lifts up hands to show them tied in a lot of knots)Patrick: What was that? Are you okay, SpongeBob?SpongeBob: Patrick, aren't you late for something?Patrick: Oh, poop deck! You're right! We'll have to do this lesson later! Bye SpongeBob!SpongeBob: I can't believe I've forgotten how to tie my shoes. They've been tied as long as I can remember. (flashbacks to being a baby with legs and shoes only) Well, I'll remember after a good night's sleep. (when morning arrives, SpongeBob looks at his shoes and they are still untied) No big deal. I'll remember sooner or later. (opens the front door) 'Cause I'm ready! I'm rea... (takes a step and trips) ...dy! (stands up) I'm rea... (takes another step and trips) ...dy! (stands up) I'm rea... (takes another step and trips) ...dy! (stands up) I'm rea... (takes another step and trips) ...doy!(Patrick, who is eating a Krabby Patty, notices SpongeBob)Patrick: Well hiya, SpongeBob.SpongeBob: (gasps) Oh, no. I can't let Pat see I still haven't tied my shoes. (stands up and puts two holes through the floor with his feet)Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?SpongeBob: Well, a sponge has to look his spongiest. (walks to the kitchen putting a line of holes in the floor with his feet) Well, I've gotta get to work. (opens kitchen door and plops on the floor, face first) Oh, barnacles, maybe I should just lay here.Squidward: (peeks his head through the order window) Those patties aren't gonna cook themselves, SpongeBob!SpongeBob: He's right! Got to make... Krabby Patties! (he holds out a spatula and gets up) Laces or no laces! (crawls over to the grill) I just have to stand in this one spot. (makes a Krabby Patty) Ta-da! A perfect patty.Squidward: Alright, SpongeBob, hand it over. Well? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath. Then imagines his shoe laces as snakes who squeeze him then the hallucination goes away)SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward! I've got an idea! How about you come get it?Squidward: Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's a great idea! And maybe I should cook the patties, and do the dishes, and wear square pants, and live in a pineapple... while you wait in the unemployment line!SpongeBob: No!Squidward: Then bring that patty here now!SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. Here I come. I'm coming over. (scoots his feet across the floor inch by inch) I'm bringing the patty to you. Here comes the patty. No problem. I'm walking...the Krabby Patty...over to Squidward. All right, Squidward! I'm giving you the patty...for the hungry customer. So they can eat it when I give it to you. Which is right...now! (holds out the patty but the scene zooms out to show that SpongeBob never moved)Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob. I'm over here, now move!SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward! (looks down at his feet) Just slowly move your leg. (tries to take a step but trips himself and sends the patty flying through the air at Squidward) D'oh!Squidward: SpongeBob! (the patty lands in his mouth)SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Squidward!Squidward: (chewing the patty) SpongeBob!SpongeBob: I'll just make another. (makes another patty but trips again throwing the patty towards Squidward)Squidward: Sponge... (patty enters his mouth)SpongeBob: Hold it! (makes another patty and trips again sending the patty into Squidward's mouth again) Let me just... (makes another patty) D'oh! (he trips again and launches another patty. This continues for a while. Pretty soon, Squid is extremely huge. A group of customers is standing at the register. An old man pokes him)Customer: What's the holdup? (Squidward turns around and burps really loudly)Squidward: I think my heart just stopped. (customers complain) It's Sponge... (burps) ...Bob's fault! ('SpongeBob's fault' echoes in SpongeBob's head)SpongeBob: I've failed. My career is over. I'm sorry, spatula. (puts down the spatula and takes his hat off) I'm sorry, hat. (puts it back on) I'm sorry, floor. (hugs a box of patties) I am sorry, Krabby Patties. (lies in a puddle of tears while Mr. Krabs is working on a crossword puzzle)Mr. Krabs: Let's see, a five-letter word for happiness. Money. (laughs) Customer: This is the worst service we've ever had! We're going to the Chum Bucket! (Mr. Krabs opens the bathroom door to see what the problem is)Mr. Krabs: Wait, wait! Don't go! (his pants are undone)Customer: Oh yeah, we are definitely out of here. (Mr. Krabs runs over to the door)Mr. Krabs: Wait, wait! Don't go! That's me money walking out the door! What's the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward?Squidward: It's SpongeBob's fault. (Mr. Krabs gets upset. His eyes turn into steamboat whistles)Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, get out here! (peeks out the kitchen door) More. (SpongeBobpeeks out a little more) More. (SpongeBob stretches himself partially through the door) All the way, boy! (SpongeBob falls to the ground completely out the door) What be the matter, SpongeBob? I ought to make you walk the plank for this.SpongeBob: I'm sorry Mr. Krabs, it's just that I...I...Mr. Krabs: Yes?SpongeBob: I...I...I...I...I...Mr. Krabs: Yes? Yes? Yes?SpongeBob: I...I...I...I...I...Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy! What is it?SpongeBob: I forgot how to tie my shoes.Mr. Krabs: (laughs) That's all?SpongeBob: So you'll show me how?Mr. Krabs: I don't wear shoes. (SpongeBob gasps then runs over to Tom) SpongeBob: Could you show me how to tie my shoes?Tom: Uhh, fins? (points to his feet. SpongeBob runs to another customer) SpongeBob: Could you show me how to tie my shoes?Eel: Well I would but, sadly, I am only an eel. (wiggles her tail in front of SpongeBob's face. SpongeBob runs to Jellyfish Fields)SpongeBob: Could any of you show me how to tie my laces? (jellyfish sting him. scene cuts to SpongeBob looking under a rock of leeches) Could you, you, you, you, or you show me how to tie a knot? (leaches run off. Scene cuts to SpongeBob looking into a cave) Could you show me how to tie a simple knot? (pair of eyes become multiple eyes and the monster eats SpongeBob. He notices a fisherman skeleton inside its mouth) Could you show me how to tie my shoes? (monster spits him out of its blow hole and onto the painting of Painty the Pirate) Could you show me how to tie my shoes?Painty: Arr, I be just a painting of a head.SpongeBob: DOESN'T ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO TIE A KNOT?!!!!!!!!! (lightning appears as well as the Flying Dutchman)Flying Dutchman: Did somebody say knot?SpongeBob: (eyes grow large) I did.Flying Dutchman: So, you wanna tie knots, do ya? Well, do ya?SpongeBob: Yes, please, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir.Flying Dutchman: Then you've come to the right flying ghost, kid. You're looking at the first place winner in the fancy knottin' contest for the last 3,000 years!SpongeBob: Hooray! (floats up into the air and into a heart)Flying Dutchman: (grabs SpongeBob) You're gonna have to not do that. And stop staring at me with them big old eyes! (SpongeBob's eyes shrink) Now, stand back and watch me be knotty. (laughs and pulls out a rope) Haha! Behold! (rope is in pretzel shape) The pretzel knot!SpongeBob: Ohh. (Flying Dutchman makes the rope into 2 diamonds)Flying Dutchman: The double-diamond knot! (holds the rope, now in the shape of a square, in front of SpongeBob) The square knot! (rope slithers over and squeezes SpongeBob) The constrictor. (Grabs SpongeBob and pulls him apart revealing a knot that looks like intestines) The gut knot! (Flying Dutchman makes a knot in the shape of a pillow) The pillow knot. (turns the knot over where SpongeBob is sleeping. Then he makes the knot into a butterfly) The butterfly knot.SpongeBob: Ohh...Flying Dutchman: Wait! There's more. (SpongeBob takes out a pen and paper and his glasses) The monkey chain! (shows the rope as a chain) The monkey's fist! (shows the rope into a ball) The monkey! (shows the rope as a monkey)Monkey: Ohh, ohh!Flying Dutchman: This one here's a loop knot, otherwise known as the 'poop loop'. (pulls the rope)Rope: Pooooooop!SpongeBob: (laughs) Those are great, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir! Now can you show me how to tie my shoes?Flying Dutchman: (laughs) I don't know how to tie me shoes. I haven't worn shoes for over 5,000 years! (holds a sock with two blue stripes up) But sometimes I like to wear this little sock over me ghostly tail. (laughs as he flies off. Scene cuts to SpongeBob crawling into his pineapple)Gary: Meow.SpongeBob: Not now, Gary.Gary: Meow.SpongeBob: I'm not in the mood, Gary.Gary: Meow. Meow.SpongeBob: (crawls into bed) Just leave me and me untied shoes alone. (Gary roars knocking SpongeBob off the bed and onto the floor) Okay, Gary. You have my attention.Gary: Meow. (ties SpongeBobs shoes)SpongeBob: (gasps) Gary! Well, I'll be. You can tie shoes! (Gary shows hes wearing shoes under his shell) Hoppin' clams! How did you learn to do that?Song: "Loop dee Loop!"Wanna learn how to tie your shoe?It's a very easy thing to do.Just sit on down and I'll give you the scoop,What's that? It's called the loop-dee-loop.You gotta take a lace in each hand,You go over and under again,You make a loop-dee-loop and pull,And your shoes are lookin' cool.You go over and back, left to right,Loop-dee-loop and you pull 'em tight,Like bunny ears or a Christmas bow,Lace 'em up and you're ready to go.You make a loop-dee-loop and pull,And your shoes are lookin' cool.You make a loop-dee-loop and pull,And your shoes are lookin' cool!*Squid's Day Off*DialogueNarrator: Ah, beautiful springtime. A time for fun and frolic for most, but not for this poor slob.Squidward: Ohh... what a beautiful day. And here I am trapped in a prison of high cholesterol. (bell rings) No one ever comes in on Sunday. (bell rings again) Why can’t Mr. Krabs just let us go home? (bell rings again. Squidward gets angry. Scene cuts to SpongeBob ringing a bell set on the order window. Squidward runs up to SpongeBob) SpongeBob, stop ringing this bell!SpongeBob: I was just testing it.Squidward: (leans through the order window getting in SpongeBob’s face) I w ill ring the bell when there is an order. But... (scene zooms out to show restaurant empty) ...there’s no customers!! There hasn’t been one all day, and there isn’t gonna be any! (picks up the cash register and slams it down making a bell noise)SpongeBob: One Krabby Patty coming up!Squidward: No! (register drawer shoots open knocking Squidward out of the way. A bunch of coins fall onto the floor. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' office where Mr. Krabs hears the money dropping)Mr. Krabs: That sounds like me money dropping. (he opens his office door to find Squid picking up the coins) What’s going on out here? My babies! (runs up to Squidward and shoves him away) Get away, you barbarian! What have you done? Nice, clean money...soiled! (scoops up the coins in his hands) I’ll take care of ya. Let papa clean ya up. Clear the way! (he runs into the kitchen and starts washing them off in the sink) No, no, no, don’t cry, little ones.SpongeBob: What’s wrong, Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs gets scared and throws the dimes in the air)Mr. Krabs: Me dime! (a dime rolls into the sink but does not go down the drain until Mr. Krabs gives a sigh of relief) Noo! (grabs the dime in the drain) I got it, boy! (tries to take his hand out) What the? It’s stuck! You gotta help me, Spon geBob!SpongeBob: You’ve gotta let go of the dime.Mr. Krabs: I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy. There’s got to be another way! Grab me captains quarters and heave! (SpongeBob pulls on Mr. Krabs from behind a couple times until Mr. Krabs gets thrown back without his arms) Me arms!SpongeBob: Oh no, not again. (Mr. Krabs hits the wall which makes the shelf slant and drop a pan, a glass, another pan, a mug, a chest, an anchor, a buoy, and a scuba suit on Mr. Krabs head. A giant bump rises up on Mr. Krabs head and then a dime falls on it causing Mr. Krabs to blacken out. Scene cuts to an ambulance outside the Krusty Krab and two paramedics carrying out Mr. Krabs on a stretcher)Mr. Krabs: Wait. Squidward, I’m putting you in charge of thing around here while I’m gone.Squidward: (smiles)You can count on me, sir! (a third paramedic carries out Mr. Krabs arms) Take care! Hurry back! Get well soon! You’re in our thoughts! (ambulance drives off) Takes more muscles to frown than to smile! (shuts the door) Okay, SpongeBob, let’s get down to business. My first official act as new manager is to give you a promotion. (SpongeBob’s pupils form into stars to stars)SpongeBob: (screams) Ahh, really?Squidward: You get to run the cash register.SpongeBob: The cash register...wow! Squidward, who’s gonna work the grill?Squidward: You are! It’s part of the promotion I mentioned earlier. You’ll be wearing two hats now. You’re gonna take the orders, and then you’re gonna make them! (put s his hat next to SpongeBob’s hat)SpongeBob: This is the best day of my life!Squidward: Me too.SpongeBob: Wait, if I’m running the register and the grill, what are you gonna do?Squidward: I’ve got some very important boss-like errands to run. See ya, later. (he runs off)SpongeBob: Squidward!Squidward: What is it?SpongeBob: You forgot to teach me how to use...the cash register.Squidward: You push the button and put the money inside. Okay, you’re on your own. (walks off as SpongeBob is hugging on the cash register)SpongeBob: I can’t believe this is really happening. (sits on the cash register box) Today, I start living! (scene cuts to Squidward walking outside)Squidward: Well, Squidward, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. A beautiful day of relaxing and pampering with pay. Hmmm, I guess I do kinda feel bad about poor little SpongeBob, all by his lonesome...ohh, ohh, it’ll pass. He’s probably just standing at the register with that stupid grin on his face. (scene cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob in the Krusty Krab with dopey looks on their faces)Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick!Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, could you give me change for a quarter?SpongeBob: No problem! (bangs on the register and gives Patrick a million dollars) Here ya go!Patrick: Thanks.Squidward: (gasps) I forgot to tell him how to make change! (he runs back to the restaurant, banging the doors open) Sponge... (sees only SpongeBob in the Krusty Krab) ... Bob. (checks the cash register to see if everything is still there. Gives a sigh of relief)SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward. All done with those errands?Squidward: No, I am not. I just remembered I needed change for this dollar.SpongeBob: Do you want four quarters? (holds up four quarters) Or ten dimes? (shows ten dimes on his hand) Or twenty nickels? (shows ten nickels on each arm) Or one hundred pennies? (shows one-hundred pennies on his back) Or one quarter, three dimes, seven nickels, and ten pennies? (shows the quarter on his nose, 3 dimes on his fingers, 7 nickels on his thumb, and ten pennies, in the shape of the cent symbol, on his foot) Or, if you give me a five dollar bill, your options are...Squidward: Alright, goodbye. (walks off. Scene cuts to Squidward’s house where he comes out wearing sunglasses and has on sunscreen and carrying a lawn chair) This is great. My day off, no worries. Just relaxation. (sets his lawn chair down and puts sunscreen on himself) I’m the boss. I deserve this. Ah... Everything will be fine. There won’t be any customers today anyway. He’ll probably just stand there, bored. (imagines SpongeBob behind the counter just standing there) SpongeBob, bored.SpongeBob: Ehh, gettin’ kind of bored. (yawns and falls asleep. Krusty Krab catches on fire and Squidward tries to blow it out but its a thought bubble. Begins to run to the Krusty Krab but stops)Squidward: Oh, what am I doing? (he pulls out a watch) I am wasting valuable relaxing time here, that’s what I’m doing! I mean, really. What are the odds? S pongeBob setting the Krusty Krab on fire. (he walks back down the road. Then, a fire engine whizzes by. Squidward is startled and runs to the restaurant with a fire extinguisher.He sprays the galley with foam. As the foam subsides, Squidward, now with a foam beard, walks over to Sponge, who has a foam mustache)SpongeBob: May I help you, sir?Squidward: (wipes off his foamy beard) It’s me, you dunce!SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward! (mustache falls off) How are those errands going?Squidward: What’s that supposed to mean? I’m very busy.SpongeBob: I’m sure you are.Squidward: I don’t like your tone.SpongeBob: (high-pitched voice) I’m sure you are. (normal voice again) How’s that?Squidward: Just do your jobs. (walks off)SpongeBob: Aye-aye, Mr. Tentacles! (puts the spatula in his forehead) Boy, no wonder Mr. Krabs put him in charge. (scene cuts to Squidward’s house)Squidward: Must...rel... (breaks the chair) ...ax! (pulls out a mirror) Look at yourself. You’re losing your bluish glow. Stop worrying so much! Now, repeat after me...you will not go back to the Krusty Krab. (his reflection turns into SpongeBob)SpongeBob: I will destroy the Krusty Krab. (Squidward screams and throws the mirror at the wall and runs to the Krusty Krab)Squidward: SpongeBob!!SpongeBob: Have you finished...Squidward: No! (walks out) That’s it. That’s it. No matter what sick fantasies run through my mind, I will not go back to that restaurant! (walks into his house then runs out towards the Krusty Krab)SpongeBob: Have you finished those errands? (Squidward runs back to his house then back to the Krusty Krab) Have you finished those errands? (Squidward runs back to his house) Have you finished those errands? (Squidward runs to the Krusty Krab) Have you finished those errands? (Squidward keeps running back and forth while SpongeBob is repeating 'have you finished those errands?' Finally, Squidward enters the Krusty Krab and stops) Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands?Squidward: No, I am not finished with those errands and I never will be! So quit checking up on me! (walks up to SpongeBob) I know what you’re up to. Forcing me to come back here every time you mess up!SpongeBob: But I haven’t...Squidward: Okay, maybe you haven’t messed up yet, but you will. You will. (walks backwards) And when you do, I’ll be there! I’ll be there! (laughs)SpongeBob: Gosh, Squidward sure is a hard worker. He makes me proud to wear these hats. (puts all sorts of door locks on his door so he can't get out)Squidward: There! Now I’ll have to stay here and enjoy myself! I’m not even gonna think about you know who at the you know what doing I don’t care! (laughs) Just gonna relax... (turns on the water and puts on his bathing cap sits in his bathtub) Let Squid’s day off...begin. (Squidward hears SpongeBob laughing outside) What was that? (SpongeBob's laughing is heard again) It’s SpongeBob! He’s spying on me, to see if I’m really doing errands. But, but he left his post, and I’ve finally caught him messing up! (peeks out the window) A-ha! I caught you, Sponge... (notices that its only the wind blowing onto the coral) ... branch. (Squidward notices a SpongeBob look-alike behind his shower curtain) Heh, here’s that r ubber duck Mr. Krabs wanted me to get. (reveals what’s behind the curtain) I’ve got you now! Wait’ll Mr. Krabs finds out you’re a... toilet. You’re losin’ it, Squidward, calm down. If I let this get to me again, I’ll just end up running down to the KrustyKrab, bursting through the front door, up to that yellow headache SpongeBob, and he’ll say... (SpongeBob appears next to Squidward in the bathtub)SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward. Are you finished with those errands yet? (goes under the water)Squidward: A-ha! (goes under the water and appears as an actual octopus) I know you’re in here. (gasps) What? (SpongeBob is not in the drain. He winks) He’s heading back to the Krusty Krab! I’ll beat him there! (slams through the locked door with nothing on but his showe r cap and bubbles foaming around his waist) I’ve got you now, SpongeBob!Citizen: (puts her hand over her son's eyes) Hey, put some clothes on!Squidward: (runs past Patrick's rock) The truth will be revealed!Patrick: (stands up) Whoo-ho! Right on, Squidward! (scene cuts to hospital where the doctor and Mr. Krabs are walking out of it)Dr. Gill Gilliam: Okay, Mr. Krabs, get plenty of rest and if things don’t seem right, come back. (walks inside)Mr. Krabs: Thanks, doc. (Squidward runs past him)Squidward: You can’t beat me! Ha! (Mr. Krabs walks back into the hospital. Scene cuts to Squidward running into the Krusty Krab) A-ha! I caught you now. You didn’t think I knew you were a stick outside my window. Ha! Or the toilet in my bathroom. And then, you were in my bathtub! And I... And-and you... And I... And you... swam down the drain and beat me to the... Krusty... Krab.SpongeBob: Uhh, does that mean that you finished those errands?Squidward: Yes, SpongeBob, I am finished with those errands. (hugs the register) I guess I want to take my place back at the cash register. I really do.SpongeBob: (takes off his pants and hands them to Squidward) Then you might wanna put these on. (Squidward looks down and notices a bunch of bubbles. They all pop so he puts SpongeBob's pants on) Hey, Squidward, you know what? Look! (walks back with a sign) We forgot to switch the ‘Closed’ sign to ‘Open’. It’s almost like we could’ve taken the whole day off! (He laughs. Squidward’s nose falls off and he deflates)22. *Something Smells*DialogueSpongeBob: (foghorn sounds. SpongeBob turns it off and launches himself at his big calendar. He hits the 20th day) Wow! It’s Sunday, Gary! Guess what’s for breakfast?Gary: Meow.SpongeBob: That’s right! (puts a bowl on the kitchen counter) A sundae! (runs to the freezer and finds it empty) Whoops, looks like we’re out of ice cream. Guess I’ll have to use something else. Ketchup! (squeezes a bunch of ketchup into the bowl. Then runs over to the storage bin) Hmmm, bananas, cherries, boring. (closes storage door) Ahh, here we go, onions! (runs up to the counter with two sacks that say "onions" on them) Ready, Gary?Gary: Meow.SpongeBob: (Gary plays a violin while SpongeBob cries while peeling the onions into the bowl) Just one more thing! Pea... (opens up another storage door but finds an empty jar) ...nuts. Gary! Our peanut jar is totally empty! (Gary burps) Hmmm... (snaps fingers) Wait! I know one other place we can find peanuts. (looks in the bathroom and finds a peanut plant in front of the window) Good thing I still have these peanut plants growing in the windowsill. (throws the plant into the sundae bowl) A little texture never hurt. There we go. (gets out a spoon) This sundae’s gonna taste great! Aren’t you goin g to help me, Gary? Gary? Oh well, more for me! (takes a few spoonfuls. Scene cuts to SpongeBob coming out of the kitchen with a bunch of sundae smoke coming out with him. He drops his spoon while Gary hides behind a coral plant) You know what they say, Ga ry. I’m easy like Sunday morning. ('morning' comes out of SpongeBobs mouth and wraps itself around Garys eyes, twisting them) Ok, let’s see my to-do list. (takes out a big long list) Go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work...wait, that’s not right. I need the one for Sunday. (takes out a small piece of paper) Ah, here we go. 'Say hi to everyone inBikini Bottom'. (runs off. Scene cuts to SpongeBob running up to a citizen) Hello. (citizen runs off in disgust of his bad breath. SpongeBob waves) Some people are even late on Sunday. (SpongeBob notices a mailman) Hi mailfish! (mailfish breaks its skin into a smaller fish and then into another smaller fish. SpongeBob notices a crossing guard) Hi, Mrs crossing guard! (crossing guard gets a whiff of his bad breath)Crossing Guard: Mother of mercy! (kids walk across the street and then the sound of a crashing car sounds but its a parade)SpongeBob: Wow, a parade! Hi, parade! Hi, tuba player! Hi, drummer! Hi, guy with the cymbals! Hi, trumpeter! Hi, tambourine girl! Hi, timbale man! Hi, didjeridu player! (didjeridu player is playing his instrument) Hi, triangle player! Hi, guy with the kettle drum! Hi, pianist! Hi, guy with the flute! And hello, Dolly! (all this time that SpongeBob is giving a shout out to the parade, his bad breath is forming into a ball. When he finishes, the ball rolls into the parade and knocks them away. Everyone runs off) Was it something I said? Something weird is going on today. Everyone is running away from me. (notices some pink pile of gum on the bench) And now...giant piles of bubble gum?! Ohh, what next? (Patricks head pops out)Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.SpongeBob: Ohh, hi, Patrick. I’m confused.Patrick: Yes, I am.SpongeBob: Patrick, everyone is running away from me. Watch. (walks over to a building) Hi, building! (building moves farther away) I just don’t get it.Patrick: I don’t either.SpongeBob: I just don't get it.Patrick: I don't either. Maybe it’s the way you’re dressed. (scene zooms in on SpongeBob's clothing from the feet up)。