英语爆笑小笑话12篇

英语爆笑小笑话12篇

下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!

英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷

"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you

detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely

normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple

question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he

hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of

question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three

trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

" Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh,

"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I

must confess I don't know much about history."

“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要问什么样的问题呢?”“嗯，你可以这样问，‘库克船长环球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鲍勃想了一会儿，紧张的回答道，“你就不能问另外一个问题吗?坦率地说，我对历史了解的不是很多。”

英语爆笑小笑话：开卷考试

On the day of our final exam at my Community College in

Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its

policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks.

Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our

books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our

professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final,

it would be an open-book exam. 我在加利福尼亚的圣玛丽亚市一所社区大学读书。期末考试那天，听说书店在回购我们的工商管理课本。考试前，我们几个赶忙跑到书店把书卖了，随后，我们坐在教室里等着考试。这时候教授宣布：考虑到试题的难度，今天的考试我们决定开卷。

英语爆笑小笑话：机长的录音

This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew... I'd like

to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York

to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet

midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the

starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the

starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on

the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If

you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little

yellow life raft with three people in it to waving at you. That's me,

the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.

这是你们机长的声音。请允许我代表全体工作人员，欢迎你们乘坐英国航空公司602号航班从纽约飞往伦敦。我们此时在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。如果你从飞机的右边向窗外看去，你将会发现右侧的两个引擎都已经起火。如果你从左边往外看，你就会看到那边的机翼已经脱落了。如果你俯视下面的大西洋，那么你会看到一艘黄色的救生筏，上面有三个人正在朝你挥手。那是我、副驾驶员还有我们的一名女乘务员。这是一段录音。

英语爆笑小笑话：无聊的课

One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State

University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor.

Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now

I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind

if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to

your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"

在开普吉拉多市的东南密苏里州立大学上学的时候，我喜欢的几个老师之中有一个以他的幽默感而出名。给新生上头一节课，他给学生解释在他课上的纪律，他说：“我知道我的课经常会很枯燥乏味，所以我并不介意你们在课上看表。然而，我坚决不允许你们把表重重的摔在课桌上，以此来检查你的表是不是还在走。”

英语爆笑小笑话：交通事故

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit

his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him

from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and

had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm,

they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the

impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a

huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front

of the 'S.'

有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个“S。”

英语爆笑小笑话：写给上帝的信

A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but

nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter

requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to

God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president

was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a

$5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of

money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill

and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear

God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington,

D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

有个小男孩非常需要50美元，他为此祷告了数周但是什么也没发生。后来，他决定写封信向上帝索要这50美元。邮局接到这封信，想了想觉得还是应该交给总统比较好。总统被逗笑了，于是指示秘书寄给小男孩5美元，因为他觉得5美元对于一个小孩来讲已经是不少了。小男孩收到了钱很高兴，给上帝回了一封感谢信，信里写道：尊敬的上帝，非常感谢你把钱寄给我。然而，我发现这些钱是通过白宫寄出的，因此，和往常一样，那帮家伙收了我45美元的税。

英语爆笑小笑话：它们是从美国直接带来的

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China

from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city

bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank

counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money