雅思写作批改 (13)

有道写作雅思批改全文共四篇示例，供读者参考第一篇示例：有道写作雅思批改是一种针对雅思考试写作部分的辅导服务，通过专业的老师批改学生的作文并提供建议和指导，帮助学生提高写作水平和得分。

有道写作雅思批改服务不仅可以帮助学生了解雅思写作考试的要求和标准，还可以提供个性化的写作指导，帮助学生克服写作难题，打破写作瓶颈，快速提升写作水平。

有道写作雅思批改的服务流程通常包括以下几个步骤：学生需要注册并购买服务，然后按照指定的格式将写作任务提交到有道系统中。

接下来，专业的老师会在规定的时间内对学生的作文进行批改，并在作文中标注错误和提出改进意见。

学生可以通过系统查看批改结果，了解自己的不足之处，并根据老师的建议进行调整和改进。

有道写作雅思批改服务的特点主要有以下几点：1. 专业老师提供指导：有道写作服务的老师都是经验丰富的雅思写作批改专家，能够深入了解学生的写作水平和需求，针对性提出建议和指导，帮助学生解决各种写作难题。

2. 定制化建议：每位学生的写作水平和需求都各不相同，有道写作雅思批改服务可以根据学生的具体情况提供个性化的建议和指导，帮助学生有效提高写作水平。

3. 及时回馈：有道写作雅思批改服务通常在24小时内完成批改，学生可以及时查看批改结果，并根据老师的建议进行调整和改进，从而提高写作效率和质量。

4. 多样化练习题目：有道写作雅思批改服务提供了多样化的写作练习题目，涵盖了雅思写作考试的各个方面，帮助学生全面提高写作能力。

5. 追踪服务：有道写作雅思批改服务还可以提供学生的写作成绩和进步情况追踪服务，帮助学生了解自己的强弱项，及时调整学习计划，针对性提高写作水平。

第二篇示例：有道写作雅思批改是为那些想提高雅思写作能力的学生提供的一项专业化服务。

雅思考试是国际上最具权威性的英语语言能力测试之一，对于许多留学生来说，取得一定的分数是必须的。

而写作部分往往是许多学生的难点，因为它要求考生具备一定的逻辑思维能力、语言表达能力和写作技巧。

雅思大作文批改实录2016雅思大作文批改实录精选雅思考试要想取得好成绩，考生们必须好好复习，为了帮助大家更好的备考，下面是yjbys网店铺提供给大家关于雅思大作文批改实录精选，希望对大家的备考有所帮助。

题目When children make mistakes, they should be punished. Do you think so? How should they be punished?学生习作The issue about punishment on children has always been discussed in these days. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the opinion that punishment can help children realise the difference between right and wrong, although some slight problems still exist.The reason why punishment seems to be a must is that this is one of the most efficient method to teach the kids what is right. By criticizing the children who have done something by mistake, they are aware of the danger or wrong of their behaviours. As a result, children will be afraid of to do such a kind of things, which is of benefit to their future life.Although the advantage of punishment is undoubtedly true, the opponents would argue that it might make the kids feel inferior to others. A good case in point is that if a kid is beaten by their parents in front of his classmates, he will regard it as humiliation. When he is faced with his classmates, he might feel inactive and being separated from his friends, which may lead to long-term mental diseases including depression and anxiety.According to the above words I have said, punishment is necessary while the methods must be chosen carefully. Forexample, kids’ mood must be taken good care of so that he can realise his false. Objective persuasion is recommended while the violent behaviours is banned. Since the aim is to help them grow but notto punish them.To sum up, children are our future so we should pay more attention to our ways of punishment.评分：5.5整体评价：文章基本按照题目要求，完成了题目要求的各项内容。

雅思写作口语重要一环：批改由于雅思口语写作是属于语言输出的主观性考试，很难有像阅读听力那样的一个标准答案供你自我诊断自我总结。

偏偏口语写作的特点决定了自我是难以做出准确的评价的。

雅思写作口语批改应运而生。

雅思写作口语重要一环：批改批改的重要性批改的重要性无须多言，以大部分雅思考生写作口语5.5分左右的水平，面对自己的答案/表现，除了能知道自己表现得糟糕，跟平时差不多，或者比平时发挥似乎流畅些之外，大约也讲不出个所以然来。

所以，一个更高水平的人的点评，指出答案的诸多毛病以及些许亮点，并提供一些修改的建议，最重要的是为以后的提高指出方向，就显得弥足珍贵，像我看到的一些优秀的批改，可能你的答案才一页纸，点评写出了三页纸;你的答案才2分钟，别人的点评却有10分钟。

可以说练习一篇+精修一篇+再自我修改+再批改，这种组合产生的效果比你练10篇都要好。

批改的内容有哪些无论是写作还是口语，批改的方向都是按照各自的考试评分标准表来的，雅思官方给了那么详细的评分标准，资深老师可以严格的按照评分标准一条条的捋。

语法，词汇各种细节别想跑，逻辑思路是否清晰，内容上是否言之有物，当然，口语的话，还有一项最麻烦的发音。

我看到的精修版写作，一篇文章被指出30+的错误/不当，如果在考试下，基本就是5.5分下的水平。

所以，不是高人给你批改，你很难知道自己的问题在哪里。

批改就是一面镜子，照出自己的不足。

个人体会：所以，雅思写作和口语，能有几次宝贵的批改，是突破自己的瓶颈的最好方法。

不要省略掉了这个环节，虽然自己对照着范文反复研读，反复写，是可以提升，但一个人永远有自己的文风，别人的范文你不可能学得来，也不应该照搬。

那么，在自己的写作习惯下的文章的问题，只有在自己的文章里才能看得出来。

一个优秀的批改老师，就是帮你看出你的写作习惯下有什么可以改进的地方，而不是让你去模仿他人。

雅思口语Part2物品类题库：电视教育节目Describe an educational TV program.You should say:what the program iswhat type of program it iswhat contents it hasand explain what you learned from the program.I’d like to talk about a program from my childhood called “How 2”, I believe it’s originally a British TV show that was televised in my country with subtitles. The presenters certainly spoke with a British accent.It’s hard to pin down exactly what type of program it was, I guess a mixture of science and history, with some everyday facts thrown in for good measure. The title itself is a play on words, as the series would show you ‘how to’ do certain things.The show is aimed at kids in middle school or high school. The hosts would routinely do experiments to demonstrate science in action, I remember one in particular where the presenters were trying to pour water out of a bottle in the quickest way possible. The winner had a very good technique whereby she would swirl the water, creating a vortex and causing the liquid to fly out of the bottle far quicker than any of the others’.As you would expect, the show got me interested in science and learning, but it also showed that you could do many experiments yourself and have fun at home, with everyday objects and materials that were easy to get hold of. At school we would need equipment and the teacher would have to superviseus, but at home we could be left to our own devices, with just a bottle and some water to keep us amused.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：室内游戏Describe an indoor game that you played when you were a child.You should say:what the game waswhere you played itwho you played it withand explain why you enjoyed this game.I think I’d have to go for puzzles. Jigsaw puzzles to be precise. I have a huge collection, although most of them are hidden in a cupboard somewhere in my parents’ house, these days.I used to have a special table exclusively for doing my puzzles on. Once I got into the groove, I would become immersed in the puzzle and get lost in a world of my own. Occasionally I would try to solve one with my grandmother, but this was more for her benefit as I much prefer doing it by myself. I know it sounds selfis h, but it’s just not as much fun sharing the responsibility with someone else and the pay off isn’t as big at the end.I started when I was just a toddler, putting shapes into pre-cut holes, but slowly I graduated to more complex pictures. These days it’s not unusual to find me tackling a really complex puzzle, like an “Impossipuzzle” which are double-sided and feature a picture of something very small but in large quantities, like a plate of baked beans or loads of Brussels sprouts.In my opinion as well as being an enjoyable pastime, jigsaw puzzles are good for your mind. The brain is basically just a muscle and so it should be given a work out every now and then.Jigsaw puzzles are challenging and although they are time consuming, they provide great satis faction once you’ve finished one.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：重要的礼物Describe an important gift you had in your childhood.You should say:what it iswho gave it to youwhat it looks likeand explain why it was important to you.The first thing the pops into my head are my cats, Topsy and Turvy. They were my little bundles of joy whilst I was growing up.When I was much younger I had another cat, called William. Sadly he was run over by a bus one day in front of our house. I can remember very vividly, one day I came home from school and my mum told me to look in the kitchen. I saw Topsy and Truvy and it was love at first sight. She told me when she had gone to collect them she only intended to buy one kitten, she put Topsy into the box and Turvy was mewing so loudly and scratching the box. She decided they were soul mates and couldn’t separate them.I have no idea what kind of cats they were, all I can tell you is that they were painfully cute. Topsy was ginger and Turvy was ginger and white. Turvy had little white patches on his paws that made it look like he was wearing mittens. Topsy was a little furrier and made him look fat. One was shy and the other more outgoing. Like all brothers, they would sometimes fight and at other times cuddle up together.Alas, they are no longer with us. Topsy passed away a few years ago and years finally caught up with Turvy finally as she bitthe bullet last year. I knew that they would not live as long as me, but it’s still depressing to lose someone you love.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：好建议Describe A piece of advice you’ve received.You should say:what it iswho gave it to youwhy you took the adviceand explain what the result was.I can remember a time when I sought advice from a wide range of different people. It was a couple of years ago, at a previous job, when I fell for a colleague. From my perspective it was love at first sight, but I was unsure whether the feeling was mutual and I didn’t know my company’s stance on office romances.I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to listen to jus t one person, so, as I said, I asked a few of my friends to get a broad set of opinions and points of view. A couple of people had reservations and advised caution, they recommended that I should take things slow, after all, “good things come to those that wait”. However, the general feeling was that I should go for it and ask her out. They said I had nothing to lose and I should strike while the iron’s hot. I had butterflies in my stomach, but despite being a nervous wreck, I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out.As it happens, I shouldn’t have listened to them. She turned me down in front of all my co-workers and I had to walk back to my desk with my tail between my legs. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life and I’ll definitely think twice before putting my heart on the line again. As they say, “once bitten,twice shy.。

TA/TR 5 ♦ addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places♦ expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn♦ presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detailCC 5 ♦ presents information with some organization but there may be a lack of overall progression ♦ makes inadequate, inaccurate or over-use of cohesive devices♦may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution♦ may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequateLR 6 ♦ uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task♦ attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy♦makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communicationGRA 6 ♦ uses a variety of complex structures♦ produces frequent error-free sentences♦ has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errorsScore 22/5.5Other Items Affecting ScoreUnder length √No. of words 249 Penalty .5 Off-topic x Memorized ——Illegible ——Overall BandScore5.5-.5=5band range band range9 [35-36] 4 [15-17)8.5 [33-35) 3.5 [13-15)8 [31-33) 3 [11-13)7.5 [29-31) 2.5 [9-11)7 [27-29) 2 [7-9)6.5 [25-27) 1.5 [5-7)6 [23-25) 1 [3-5)5.5 [21-23) 0.5 [1-3) 5 [19-21) 0 [0-1) 4.5 [17-19) ————Hello dear student, it’s time to check your writing. You may notice some minimal or maximal changes in your essay which will help you improve your writing abilities, to meet the standards of IELTS writing.First we will review the questionThis is an argument type of questionViewpoint Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school Task Discuss if the advantages outweigh the disadvantagesMy article:Now, let us review your introductionNowadays, the problem whether children should accept foreign language courses at primary school or secondary school is under debate. People’s point varies from person to person. Personally, I prefer to the former view that children should begin learning foreign language at primary school. Structure You were able to present a social background, aviewpoint and your opinionCoherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evidentV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Modify your introduction with the providedmodifications to make it more profound and clearMoving forward, let us review your body paragraphsNo one can deny that starting learning foreign language at secondary school has plenty of merits. The main reason of that is junior students’studying ability is much better than of primary schools’students. As age increases, their advanced comprehension makes a difference to grasp keys of other languages.Additionally, the possibility of cultural discrepancy is evident. Children may get confused on what their real culture is; they might even neglect their native culture and entirely adapt the foreign culture. Finally, native language speakers are the most effective teachers to help primary students learn a new language; however there are few native speakers or most of them are also just taught. Thus, they may struggle with helping children learn to speak the language comfortably.This paragraph discuss the side you do not slantStructure You were able to present the generalization, and you alsoprovided one necessary contention and supportingdetails, but still needs to provide two more contentionswith their supporting detailsCoherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evident, despite the errorswith the structureV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Modify your paragraph with the provided two morenecessary contention along with their supporting detailsto complete your paragraph and also make it profound.However, benefits of learning early outweigh that of learning late. First of all, it is widely accepted that children whose age are under 10 is at their best stage of language study according to countless surveys. Children who access to foreign language at the informative stage of their age are fast learners. Secondly, the earlier we start learning, the longer time can be spent on foreign language’s study. Those who accept language at primary school would have more years to get better commandof foreign language. Last but not least is about their interest. Children exposed toforeign language at primary school tend to cultivate more enthusiasm which isbeneficial for their following study.This paragraph discuss that learning foreign language at early age brings more advantagesStructure You were able to present the generalization, and you alsoprovided enough contentions and supporting ideas, Coherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evidentV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Modify your paragraph with the provided modificationsand alterations to make it more profoundLastly, let us review your conclusionIn summary, the positive sides of learning foreign language from primary school outweigh its negative sides. I personally believe that training from primary school is a better choice. It is high time that we should create a foreign language learning atmosphere for children as early as possible.Structure You were able to ingeminate your stand, and put forwarda suggestionCoherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evidentV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Conclusion is okayTo teacher:Could you please tell me my mistakes as detailed as possible?I have almost no idea about the whole structure of the article,the length of every paragraph,the vocabulary’s diversity and whether my bullet points are appropriate and clear or not.Thank you so much.Yours sincerely,SerenaDear Serena,You got the topic, although your ideas are not enough. Basically, your essay should have 250 words or more but you had less, you typically lack idea on the other point of the topic, so that is where I really needed to add two more necessary contention to make your essay and paragraph complete. A friendly reminder advice dear, every time you make your essay, you should research on former essay having the same topic to gather information and details. Or do what I do sometimes, I search for the basics, like for example, in this topic I search for the disadvantages/advantages of learning foreig n language at early age… there I will read and form my ideas… ☺practice more dear, and reading is really essential… the more you read the more ideas you will have… ☺Keep Learning,Larigen。

批改雅思英文作文下载温馨提示:该文档是我店铺精心编制而成，希望大家下载以后，能够帮助大家解决实际的问题。

文档下载后可定制随意修改，请根据实际需要进行相应的调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种各样类型的实用资料，如教育随笔、日记赏析、句子摘抄、古诗大全、经典美文、话题作文、工作总结、词语解析、文案摘录、其他资料等等，如想了解不同资料格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by theeditor. I hope that after you download them,they can help yousolve practical problems. The document can be customized andmodified after downloading,please adjust and use it according toactual needs, thank you!In addition, our shop provides you with various types ofpractical materials,such as educational essays, diaryappreciation,sentence excerpts,ancient poems,classic articles,topic composition,work summary,word parsing,copyexcerpts,other materials and so on,want to know different data formats andwriting methods,please pay attention!Okay, here is the essay:The weather is really important. It can affect our mood a lot. Like when it's sunny, we feel happy and energetic. But when it's rainy, we might feel a bit down.Learning a new language is hard. There are so many rules and words to remember. It takes a lot of time and practice.Some people love to travel. They get to see new places and experience different cultures. It's really exciting.Music has a powerful effect on us. Different types of music can make us feel different emotions. It can be really amazing.。

雅思写作小作文如何检查和修改雅思写作小作文如何检查和修改小作文也是雅思考试写作的重要部分，但是很多考生是不知道要怎么样检查和修改小作文的。

下面就让店铺给大家分享雅思考试写作小作文检查和修改的方法吧，希望能对你有帮助!雅思小作文检查及修改技巧雅思写作的大作文需要我们用40分钟的时间写一篇250字的文章，我们可以花6-8分钟的时间来构思文章观点以及结构，28-30分钟时间来写文章，最后一定要留出3-6分钟的时间来进行检查。

那么相信考生会有一个问题：我应该从哪几个方面来进行检查呢?考试的时间是很宝贵的，所以如果不经过一定的训练，只在考试中的最后几分钟来检查自己的文章，考生肯定无从下手。

所以我建议广大考生在平时的训练中，就要做好检查以及修改这一项工作。

具体可以从如下几方面入手：1.标点和拼写是否有错误;2.是否使用了正确的语法结构，比方说，考生经常犯错误的几个方面：动词时态是否一致、主谓是否一致、词性(尤其是名词、动词、形容词)、名词单复数、冠词错误和介词错误;3.句式是否有变化(如各种从句的使用、分词结构等);4.是否明确的观点以及分论点;5.在每段的主题句中都表明了这个段落的中心思想，所有扩展句都紧扣主题;6.使用了过渡性词语，因而句子之间和段落之间都有逻辑性和条理性;7.文章是否提供了足够的细节、例子或论据。

雅思小作文开头段写法在雅思写作的小作文部分里，往往我们可以采纳“老三段”式的写法，以不变应万变，不论是线图，柱图，表格，饼图，亦或是流程图，我们都可以采用此种方式完成雅思小作文的写作。

那么老三段式的经典写法中，强调着第一段“开门见山”介绍出本文讨论内容，即改写题目。

将必要内容进行改写，这样可以获得高分效应。

第二段“丰实的内容”尽量多地将图表中的信息表达明确，不时的需要我们之前总结的常用表达(敬请参见前几篇文章雅思作文经典表达介绍文章)。

第三段也就是文章的最后一段，对全文进行一个总结概括即可。

本文将着眼于介绍雅思作文开头段的常用高频高分表达，希望对们准备雅思有所帮助。

雅思作文批改作为一名学生，我深知雅思考试对于我们的重要性。

在备考雅思的过程中，我发现了一些值得思考的问题和道理。

首先，我发现很多同学在备考雅思时只注重了语言的表达，而忽略了对于题目的理解和分析。

例如，在写作中，很多同学只是简单地按照题目要求写出一篇文章，而没有深入思考题目背后的意义和要求。

这样的做法虽然能够得到一定的分数，但是无法真正地体现出我们的语言能力和思维能力。

因此，我们在备考雅思时，不仅要注重语言的表达，更要注重对于题目的理解和分析，从而能够更好地展现出我们的语言和思维能力。

其次，我发现很多同学在备考雅思时只注重了练习，而忽略了对于自身问题的反思和改进。

例如，在听力和阅读练习中，很多同学只是简单地做题，而没有对于自己的错误和不足进行反思和改进。

这样的做法虽然能够提高我们的练习效率，但是无法真正地解决我们的问题。

因此，我们在备考雅思时，不仅要注重练习，更要注重对于自身问题的反思和改进，从而能够更好地提高我们的语言能力和思维能力。

最后，我发现很多同学在备考雅思时只注重了分数的高低，而忽略了对于自身能力的提高和发展。

例如，在写作和口语中，很多同学只是简单地追求高分，而没有注重自身的语言能力和思维能力的提高和发展。

这样的做法虽然能够得到一定的分数，但是无法真正地提高我们的语言能力和思维能力。

因此，我们在备考雅思时，不仅要注重分数的高低，更要注重自身能力的提高和发展，从而能够更好地应对未来的挑战。

综上所述，备考雅思不仅要注重语言的表达，更要注重对于题目的理解和分析；不仅要注重练习，更要注重对于自身问题的反思和改进；不仅要注重分数的高低，更要注重自身能力的提高和发展。

只有这样，我们才能够真正地提高我们的语言能力和思维能力，从而更好地应对未来的挑战。

《剑桥雅思13》写作大作文分析剑桥雅思作为一本雅思真题分析，深得雅思考生的喜欢，一般是雅思考生的标配。

那么今天就和来看看《剑桥雅思13》写作大作文分析。

剑桥雅思写作大作文题型分析在题目类型方面，剑13的四篇大作文中2篇同意与否大作文，1篇双边观点讨论大作文以及1篇报告类大作文（原因和解决办法）。

从题型数量上来看，同意与否类型无疑是剑13的贴心小棉袄，然鹅剑13却未曾出现利弊分析（Advantages and Disadvantages）和利弊分析姊妹版（Positive or Negative）的题目，这需要引起“烤鸭们”的注意。

纵观2018年上半年的雅思写作考试，同意与否（Agree or Disagree）类型的大作文占比较高，而其他题型的占比相对处于弱势状态。

并且剑13再次强调了同意与否类型大作文的重视，“烤鸭们”需要在备考阶段注意强化同意与否类型大作文的审清题目、寻找立场、提出分论点、展开思路和深入论证等。

剑桥雅思写作大作文话题分析从话题大类上来看，Test 1、2、4均为社会问题，T est 3为学校教育问题，并未出现极其冷门或偏门的话题类型，这也是2018年雅思官方已经举办的考试同样突显出来的趋势和特点，社会类问题和教育类话题依旧是大作文考察的主要方向。

从题目审题难度上来看，雅思官方逐渐加大对题目本身审题题眼的设置与限定，进一步考察“烤鸭们”的逻辑论证和思辨能力，除了Test 3学校教育问题题目中的广大“烤鸭们”较为熟悉的绝对化表达（比如：one of the most important），还增设了have to， as well as， too many， in spite of等单词的修饰，这从一个侧面反应了雅思写作考试的审题难度日渐加大，如何准确找准立场并深入展开论证是今后备考的重中之重。

剑桥雅思写作大作文逐题分析Test1从内容归类上来看，Test 1主要围绕语言及其可能导致的社会问题和实际问题，其实，在剑桥雅思真题中对语言话题的考察频率还不算低，比如剑9中两次提到了对语言的考察，一篇大作文询问的是语言逐渐消亡与生活难易程度的关系，一篇大作文落脚点是在小学比在中学学外语更好。

雅思作文批改_刷题千遍不如精改一篇相较于听力和阅读，考生们总是对口语和写作这种“输出类”的考核更为头疼和担心。

原因是在“输出”时，“输入”的单词和句式会因时间和心态等原因而不用能上，有的时候甚至会对几种的论述方法产生混淆，导致方向偏离题目要求。

所以，要在雅思写作上高人一分，除了要勤练笔头之外，还需要清楚自己的问题弱点，知己知彼才能百战百胜嘛。

下面小编给大家带来雅思作文批改|刷题千遍不如精改一篇。

雅思作文批改|刷题千遍不如精改一篇批改可以解决那些问题?01了解自己的写作现有水平找到问题及对策02客观语法问题得到纠正语言错误减少表达效果清晰03拼写、标点等细节错误无处遁形文章更加完美04用词和表达方式更加地道避免中式英语05中式写作思维得到纠正考场得分更高雅思写作中实用的短句1.经济的快速发展the rapid development of economy2.人民生活水平的显著提高/稳步增长the remarkableimprovement/ steady growth of people’s living standard .3.先进的科学技术advanced science and technology.4.面临新的机遇和挑战be faced with new opportunities and challenges.5.人们普遍认为It is commonly believed/ recognized that…6.社会发展的必然结果the inevitable result of social development7.引起了广泛的公众关注arouse wide public concern/ draw public attention.8.不可否认It is undeniable that…/There is no denying that …9.热烈的讨论/争论a heated discussion/ debate10.有争议性的问题a controversial issue11.完全不同的观点a totally different argument12.一些人…而另外一些人… Some people… while others…13.就我而言/就个人而言As far as I am concerned, / Personally,14.就…达到绝对的一致reach an absolute consensus on…15.有充分的理由支持be supported by sound reasons16.双方的论点argument on both sides17.发挥着日益重要的作用play an increasingly important role in …18.对…必不可少be indispensable to …19.正如谚语所说As the proverb goes:20.…也不例外…be no exception21.对…产生有利/不利的影响exert positive/ negative effects on …22.利远远大于弊the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.23.导致，引起lead to/ give rise to/ contribute to/ result in24.复杂的社会现象a complicated social phenomenon25.责任感/成就感sense of responsibility/ sense ofachievement26.竞争与合作精神sense of competition and cooperation27.开阔眼界widen one's horizon/ broaden one's vision28.学习知识和技能acquire knowledge and skills29.经济/心理负担financial burden / psychological burden30.考虑到诸多因素take many factors into account/ consideration31.从另一个角度from another perspective32.做出共同努力make joint efforts33.对…有益be benefici al / conducive to…34.为社会做贡献make contributions to the society35.打下坚实的基础lay a solid foundation for…36.综合素质comprehensive quality37.无可非议blameless / beyond reproach /above (或beyond) reproach39.致力于/投身于be committed / devoted to…40.应当承认Admittedly,41.不可推卸的义务unshakable duty (不可动摇的,坚定不移的)42.满足需求satisfy/ meet the needs of…43.可靠的信息源a reliable source of information44.宝贵的自然资源valuable natural resources45.因特网the Internet (一定要由冠词，字母I大写)46.方便快捷convenient and efficient47.在人类生活的方方面面in all aspects of human life48.环保(的) environmental protection / environmentally friendly49.社会进步的体现a symbol of society progress50.科技的飞速更新the ever-accelerated updating of science and technology51.对这一问题持有不同态度hold different attitudes towardsthis issue52.支持前/后种观点的人people / those in fovor of the former/ latter opinion53.有/提供如下理由/证据have/ provide the following reasons/ evidence54.在一定程度上to some extent/ degree / in some way在某种意义上55.理论和实践相结合integrate theory with practice56. …必然趋势an irresistible trend of… irresistible不可抵抗的,不能压制的57.日益激烈的社会竞争the increasingly fierce social competition58.眼前利益immediate interest/ short-term interest59.长远利益. interest in the long run60.…有其自身的优缺点… has its merits and demerits/ advantages and disadvantages61.扬长避短Exploit to the full one's favorable conditions and avoid unfavorable ones62.取其精髓，取其糟粕Take the essence and discard the dregs.63.对…有害do harm to / be harmful to/ be detrimental to /be pernicious to64.交流思想/情感/信息exchange ideas/ emotions/ information65.跟上…的最新发展keep pace with / catch up with/ keep abreast with the latest development of …66.采取有效措施来… take effective measures to do sth.67.…的健康发展the healthy development of …68.有利有弊Every coin has its two sides.No garden without weeds.凡事有利弊。

Some people believe that charity organizations should give the aid to 援助those who are in great needs, while the others think that charity organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.Charity organization has never lost its unique power to confuse people and transport them to troubles(?). It is argued that whether the charity organizations should support to people who are in great needs or (to) those who live in their own countries. Personally I believe that charity organizations focus (focusing)on helping their own countries’ people should be considered as the option of last, instead of the first resort.Evidences show that charity organizations to aid people who are in great needs can bring a host of benefits to individuals as well as the whole international society. The charity help(helping) those who need great help can alleviate the increasing social gap between rich and poor, countries’ strong and weak (? ,)which will probably reduce the rate of crimes and build a harmonious world. A case in point is that since the outbreak of the Iraq war the international Red Cross federation is aiming to help nearly one million of the most socially vulnerable people inside (in)Iraq. Specifically, it supports Iraq food, water and medical facilities to help the vulnerable people rebuild their hometown. As far as I am concerned, worldwide charity organizations, which can help people all over the world, will (help to) construct a harmonious wold and reduce the war.However, charities just concentrate (concentrating )on aiding people who live in their own countries seems not work effectively. The radical reason for which(which 改为that, 或是去掉for which) is that it has a limitation on supporting vulnerable people from other countries who suffer from the disasters, which will lead to a complex and dangerous social environment other than in their own country. This will eventually build an inhumane image in the world. A case in point is that in 2011 （after）the Japanese earthquake, Chinese charity organizations sent rescue team s and basic facilities to Japan to save people’s lives. If China did not do like(去掉）this, Chinese reputation would certainly destroyed and our country would be condemned by the international society. In this case, this way should be considered as the option of last.(?) A nation should help other nations regardless of its strength.(结尾的总结是否应该回归到慈善组织呢？）Therefore, I believe that charity organizations should （give)aid to people no matter where they come from, which(since they)are regarded as (the)better solutions to reduce wars and help vulnerable people rebuild their homeland when they went through disasters. According to these ways( Thus), a harmonious international society will be set up. Besides, it will make a progress in ( make great contributions to ) the whole world’s sustainable development.By and large, we can expect that at least the problem about what kinds of peoplecharities should aid can be largely solved by supporting people from all over the world who faces the desperate situation. The more effort put in and the wider (engagements)the whole society involvement( involved in), the more substantial results likely to be. The increase of aiding people who are in great needs and the consequent improvement in people’s happiness is surely a worthwhile objective.总评：首先字数太多，看起来累赘，会导致扣分。