TED英语演讲 为什么我们保持着联系却仍旧孤单Why we are connected but still feel alone (双语)

我们会联系更多还是更孤独呢英语作文我们会联系更多还是更孤独呢英语作文Are We More Connected or More Alone?我们会联系更多还是更孤独呢?Today, with the development of the times, science and technology in the continuous progress, so that the distance between the worlds has become more and more close, but in some ways also make people become more and more distant.今天，随着时代的发展，科学技术在不断进步，使世界之间的距离越来越近，但在某些方面也使人们越来越疏远。

The emergence of mobile phones and computers, so that thousands of miles away can be anywhere and anytime calls and chat. Television news and mobile phone networks allow us to know what's happening abroad at home.In the past, people communicate with each other by means of writing letters, it takes a long time to receive an answer, and now open the phone through the video to see each other.This is the development of the times to narrow the distance between people, we are connected than ever before. However, in life, people always hold a cell phone, looking at the computer, linger in the network, and the peop le around him less and less communication.People communicate with each other from the mouth to the fingers, and become more and more distant from the people around them. We are alone than ever before.手机和电脑的出现，让千里之外可以随时随地通话和聊天。

TED演讲：保持联系仍旧孤单In our little devices, those little devices in our pockets are so psychologically powerful that they don’t only change what we do, they change who we are. Some of the things we do now with our devices are things that, only a few years ago, we would have found odd or disturbing, but they’ve quickly come to seem familiar, just how we do things.在我们的口袋中，那些轻巧的电子设备，在心理学上有着如此强大的力量。

它们不仅改变了我们的生活方式，也改变了我们本身。

我们现在用电子设备做的一些事情，就在几年前还被认为是稀奇或让人讨厌。

但是很快大家就习以为常——只是我们的行事方式而已。

People text or do email during corporate board meetings. They text and shop and go on Facebook during classes, during presentations, actually during all meetings.人们在公司的董事会议上发短信或写邮件。

人们在上课时、听报告时，实际上在几乎所有的会议上，发短信、网购、浏览脸谱。

Parents text and do email at breakfast and at dinner while their children complain about not having their parents’ full attention. But then these same children deny each other their full attention.父母在早餐和晚餐时发短信和邮件，孩子们因此抱怨父母对他们不够关注。

尊敬的各位领导、亲爱的同学们：大家好！今天，我站在这里，想和大家探讨一个看似简单却又深刻的话题——保持联系，拒绝孤独。

在这个信息爆炸、人际交往日益频繁的时代，孤独似乎成了一种难以避免的病症，影响着我们的身心健康。

那么，如何在这个看似热闹的世界中，找到属于自己的温暖，拒绝孤独的侵袭呢？首先，让我们来认识一下孤独。

孤独，并不是指一个人独处时的寂寞，而是一种内心深处的孤独感，是一种无法与他人建立深度连接的痛苦。

在现代社会，孤独症候群已经成为一种普遍现象，影响着我们的工作和生活。

那么，孤独的根源在哪里呢？一、孤独的根源1. 社交焦虑：在人际交往中，我们常常担心自己的言行举止，害怕被他人评价，这种社交焦虑让我们在与人交往时变得小心翼翼，从而产生了孤独感。

2. 价值观的差异：随着社会的多元化，人们的价值观也呈现出多样性。

价值观的差异导致我们在与人交往时，难以找到共鸣，进而产生孤独感。

3. 生活方式的改变：随着科技的进步，我们的生活节奏越来越快，人们之间的交流变得越来越表面化，缺乏深层次的交流，使得孤独感愈发严重。

二、保持联系，拒绝孤独1. 增强社交能力：我们要学会与人沟通，提高自己的社交能力。

可以通过参加社交活动、加入兴趣小组等方式，拓展自己的人际关系，找到志同道合的朋友。

2. 主动分享：在与人交往中，我们要学会主动分享自己的喜怒哀乐，关心他人的生活，这样才能建立起深厚的友谊。

3. 深度交流：在人际交往中，我们要学会倾听，关注他人的内心世界，找到共鸣点，从而建立起真诚的友谊。

4. 拓展兴趣爱好：通过参加各种兴趣小组、社团活动，我们可以结识到志同道合的朋友，丰富自己的业余生活，减少孤独感。

5. 心理调适：当我们感到孤独时，要学会调整自己的心态，寻求心理支持。

可以寻求心理咨询师的帮助，或者通过阅读、运动等方式来缓解孤独感。

6. 培养自我价值：我们要认识到，每个人都有自己的价值，不要因为孤独而怀疑自己的价值。

通过努力提升自己，实现自我价值，从而获得内心的满足。

Just a moment ago, my daughter Rebecca texted me for good luck. Her text said, mom, you will rock. I love this. Getting that text was like getting a hug. And so there you have it, I embody the central paradox. I'm a woman who loves getting text, who's going to tell you that too many of them can be problem.Actually, that reminder of my daughter brings me to the beginning of my story, 1996, when I gave my first TED Talk. Rebecca was 5 years old and she was sitting right there in the front row. I had just written a book that celebrated our life on the internet and I was about to be on the cover of Wired Magazine. In those heyday days, we were experimenting with chat rooms and online virtual communities. We were exploring different aspects of ourselves and then we unclocked. I was excited, and as a psychologist, what excited me most was the idea that we would use what we learned in the virtual world about ourselves, about our identify to live better lives in the world.Now, fast forward to 2012, I'm back here on the TED stage again. My daughter is 20. She is a college student. She sleeps with her cellphone, so do I and I've just written a new book, but this time, it's not one that will get me on the cover of Wired Magazine. So, what happened? I'm still excited by technology, but I believe and I'm here to make the case that we're letting it take us places that we don't wanna go.Over the past 15 years, I've studied technologies of mobile communication and I've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people, young and old about their plugged in lives and what I found is that our little devices, those little devices in our pockets are so psychologically powerful that they don't only change what we do.They change who we are. Some of the things we do now with our devices are things that only a few years ago would have found odd or disturbing, but they've quickly come to seem familiar just how we do things, so just to take some quick examples, people text or e-mail during corporate board meetings. They text and shop and go on Facebook during classes, during presentations, actually during all meetings. People talked to me about the important new skill of making eye contact while your texting. People explained to me that it's hard, that it can be done. Parents text and do e-mail at breakfast and at dinner where your children complained about not having their parents' full attention, but then the same children deny each other their full attention. This is a recent shot of my daughter and her friends being together while not being together. And we even text to funerals. I study this. We remove ourselves from our grief or from our reverie and we go in our phones.Why does this matter. It matters to me because I think we're saving ourselves up for trouble. Trouble certainly and how we relate to each other, but also trouble in how we relate to ourselves in our capacity for self reflection. We're getting used to a new way of being alone together. People want to be with each other, but also elsewhere connected to all the different places they wanna be. People want to customize their lives. They want to go in and out of all the places they are because the thing that matters most to them is control over where they putt their attention. So, you wanna go to that board meeting, but you only wanna pay attention to the bits that interest you, and some people think that's a good thing, but you can end up hiding from each other even as we're all constantly connected to each other.50-year-old businessman laments to me that he feels he doesn't have colleagues anymore at work. When he goes to work, he doesn't stop by to talk to anybody he doesn't call and he says he doesn't want to interrupt his colleagues because he says they are too busy on their e-mail, but then he stops himself and he says, you know, I'm not tell you the truth. I'm the one who doesn't want to be interrupted. I think I should want to, but actually I'd rather just do things on my Blackberry (RIMM) .Across the generations, I see that people tend to get enough with each other if and only if they can have each other at a distance in amounts they can control. I call it the Goldilocks effect, not too close, not too far, just right, but what might feel just right for that middle aged executive can be a problem for an adolescent who needs to develop face to face relationships. An 18-year-old boy who uses texting for almost everything says to me wishfully someday, someday but certainly not now I would like to learn how to have a conversation. When I ask people wrong with having a conversation? I'll tell you what's wrong with having a conversation. It takes place in real time and you can't control what you're gonna say. So, that's the bottom line; texting, e-mail, posting. All of these things let us present to self as we wanna be. We get to edit and that means we get to delete, and that means we get to retouch the face, the voice, the flesh, the body. Not too much, just right.Human relationships are rich and they are messy and they are demanding, and we clean them up with technology and when we do one of the things that can happen is that we sacrifice conversation for mere connection. We short change ourselves, and over time, we seemed to forget this or we seemed to stop caring. Icaught off guard when Stephen Colbert asked me a profound question, a profound question. He said, "Don't all those little tweets, don't all those little SIPs of online communication add up to 1 big gulf real conversation?" My answer was no. They don't add up. Connecting in SIPs may work for gathering discrete bits of information. They may work for saying and thinking about you or even for saying I love you. I mean, look at how I felt when I got that text from my daughter, but they don't really work for learning about each other to really coming to know and understand each other, and we use conversations with each other to learn how to have conversations with ourselves.So, off light from conversation can really matter because it can compromise our capacity for self reflection. For kids growing up, that skill is the bed rock of development. Over and over, I hear, "I would rather text than talk." And what I'm seeing is that people get so used to being short change out real conversation, so used to getting by with less that they become almost willing to dispense with people altogether. So, for example, many people share with me this wish that someday a more advance version of Siri, the digital assistant on Apple's iPhone (AAPL) will be more like a best friend, someone who will listen when other won't. I believe this wish reflects a painful truth that I've learned in the past 15 years. The feeling that no one is listening to me is very important in our relationships with technology. That's why it's appealing to have a Facebook page or Twitter feed so many automatic listeners, and the feeling that no one is listening to me makes up one to spend time with machines that seemed to care about us. We're developingrobots. They call them sociable robots that are specifically designed to be companions, to be elderly to our children, to us. Have we so lost confidence that we will be there for each other?All right, I want to see a show of hands how many of you have unfriended someone on Facebook because they said something offensive about politics or religion, childcare, food?And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don’t want to talk to them?You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to follow the advice of Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”:Stick to the weather and your health. But these days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects—are not safe either.So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument,where our politicians can’t speak to one another, and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it’s not normal.Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized, we are more divided than we ever have been in history.We are less likely to compromise, which means we’re not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be based on what we already believe.Again, that means we’re not listening to each other.A conversation requires a balance between talking and listing, and somewherealong the way, we lost that balance.Now, part of that is due to technology.The smartphones that you all either have in your hands or close enough that you could grab them really quickly.According to the Pew Research,About a third of American teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day.And many of them, almost most of them, are more likely to text their friends than they are to talk to them face to face.There’s this great piece in The Atlantic. It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell. And he gave his kids a communication project.He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specific subject without using notes. And he said this:”I came to realize…”“I came to realize that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach. Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills.It might sound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves.Is there any 21st-century skill more important than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?”Now, I make my living talking to people:Nobel Prize winners, truck dirvers, billionaries, kindergarten teachers, heads of state, plumbers.I talk to people that I like. I talk to people that I don’t like.I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level.But I still have a great conversation with them.So I’d like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to listen.Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this,things like look the person in the eye, things of interesting topics to discuss in advance, look, nod and smile to show that you’re paying attention, repeat back what you just heard or summarize it.So I want you to forget all of that. It is crap.There is no reason to learn how to show you’re paying attention, if you are in fact paying attention.Now, I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer that I do in regular life.So, I’m going to teach you how to interview people,And that’s actually going to help you learn how to be better conversationalists. Learn to have a conversation without wasting your time, without getting bored, and, please God, without offending anybody.We’ve all had really great conversations. We’ve had them before. We know what it’s like.The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you’ve made a real connection or you’ve been perfectlyunderstood.There is no reason why most of your interactions can’t be like that.So I have 10 basic rules. I’m going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just choose one of them and master it, you’ll already enjoy better conversations.Number one: don’t multitask. And I don’t mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand.I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don’t think about your argument you had with your boss.Don’t think about what you’re going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don’t be half in it and half out of it.Number two: don’t pontificate.If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.Now there’s a really good reason why I don’t allow pundits on my show: because they’re really boring.If they’re conservative, they’re going to hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.If they’re liberal, they’re going to hate big banks and oil corporations and Dick Cheney.Totally predictable.And you don’t want to be like that.You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. The famed therapist M.Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself. And sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion.He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener.Again, assume that you have something to learn.Bill Nye:”everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.”I put it this way:Everybody is an expert in something.Number three: use open-ended questions.In this case, take a cue from journalists.Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.If you put in a complicated question, you’re going to get a simple answer out.If I ask you,”were you terrified?”You are going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is “terrified,”and the answer is “Yes, I was”or “No, I wasn’t.”“were you angry?”“yes, I was very angry.”Let them describe it. They’re the ones that know.Try asking them things like,”what was that like?”“how did that feel?”Because then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you’re going to get a much more interesting response.Number four: give with the flow.That means thoughts will come into your mind.We’ve heard interviews often in which a guest is talking for several minutes and that comes back in and asks a question which seems like it comes out of nowhere, or it’s already been answered.That means the host probably stopped listening two minutes ago because he thought of this really clever question, and he was just bound and determined to say that. And we do the exact same thing. We’re sitting there having a conversation with someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop. And we stop listening.Stories and ideas are going to come to you. You need to let them come and let them go.Number five: if you don’t know, say that you don’t know.Now, people on the radio, especially on NPR, are much more aware that they’re going on the record, and so they’re more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure.Do that. Err on the side of caution. Talk should not be cheap.Number six: don’t equate your experience with theirs.If they’re talking about having lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member.If they’re talking about the trouble they’re having at work, don’t tell them abouthow much you hate your job.It’s not the same. It is never the same.All experiences are individual.And, more importantly, it is not about you.You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you’ve suffered.Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said,“I have no idea. People who brag about their IQs are losers.”Conversations are not a promotional opportunity.Number seven: try not to repeat yourself.It’s condescending, and it’s really boring, and we tend to do it a lot. Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over. Don’t do that.Number eight: stay out of the weeds.Frankly, people don’t care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you’re struggling to come up with in your mind. They don’t care. What they care about is you. They care about what you’re like, what you have in common. So forget the details. Leave them out.Number nine: this is not the last one, but it is the most important one. Listen.I cannot tell you how many really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop. Buddha said, and I’m paraphrasing, “If your mouth is open, you’re not learning.”And Calvin Coolidge said, “No man ever listened his way out of a job.”Why do we not listen to each other?Number one, we’d rather talk. When I’m talking, I’m in control. I don’t have to hear anything I’m not interested in. I’m the center of attention. I can bolster my own identity.But there’s another reason: we get distracted.The average person talks at about 225 words per minute, but we can listen at up to 500 words per minute. So our minds are filling in those other 275 words. And look, I know, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone, but if you can’t do that, you’re not in a conversation. You’re just two people shouting out barely related sentences in the same place.You have to listen to one another.Stephen Covey said it very beautifully. He said,”most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply.”One more rule, number 10, and it’s this one: be brief.A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.—my sister.All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one: be interested in other people.You know, I grew up with a very famous grandfather, and there was kind of a ritual in my home. People would come over to talk to my grandparents, and after they would leave, my mother would come over to us, and she’d say, “Do you know whothat was? She was the runner-up to Miss America. He was the mayor of Sacramento. She won a Pulitzer Prize. He ‘s a Russian ballet dancer.”And I kind of grew up assuming everyone has some hidden, amazing thing about them.And honestly, I think it’s what makes me a better host. I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I’m always prepared to be amazed, and I’m never disappointed.You do the same thing. Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and most importantly, be prepared to be amazed. Thanks.。

雪莉·特克尔TED演讲稿：保持联系，却依旧孤独【9】
对此最好描述是，“我分享，故我在。

”我们用技术来定义自己，——分享我们的想法和感觉，甚至在我们刚刚产生这些想法的时候。

所以以前，情况是我有了一个想法，我想打电话告诉别人。

现在，事情变成了，我想要有个想法，所以我需要发短信告诉别人。

这种“我分享，故我在”的问题在于如果我们跟别人断了联系，我们就感觉不再是自己了。

我们几乎感觉不到自己的存在了。

所以我们怎么办呢?我们的联系越来越多。

但是与此同时我们也把自己隔绝起来。

为什么联系会导致隔绝呢?原因是没有培养独处的能力——一种可以与外界分离，集中自己的思想的能力。

在独处中，你可以找到自己这样你才能很好的转向别人，与他们形成真正的联系。

当我们缺乏独处能力的时候，我们联系别人仅仅是为了减少焦虑感或者为了感觉到自己还活着。

这时候，我们并不真正地欣赏别人，而这好像是把他们当作支撑我们脆弱的自我感的备用零件。

我们简单地认为总和别人保持联系就能让我们不那么孤单。

但是这是有风险的，因为事实恰好相反。

如果我们不能够独处，我们会更加孤单。

而如果我们不能教会我们的孩子独处，他们只能学会如何体验孤独。

0:11Just a moment ago, my daughter Rebecca texted me for good luck. Her text said, "Mom, you will rock." I love this. Getting that text was like getting a hug. And so there you have it. I embody the central paradox. I'm a woman who loves getting texts who's going to tell you that too many of them can be a problem.0:44Actually that reminder of my daughter brings me to the beginning of my story. 1996, when I gave my first TEDTalk, Rebecca was five years old and she was sitting right there in the front row. I had just written a book that celebrated our life on the internet and I was about to be on the cover of Wired magazine. In those heady days, we were experimenting with chat rooms and online virtual communities. We were exploring different aspects of ourselves. And then we unplugged. I was excited. And, as a psychologist, what excited me most was the idea that we would use what we learned in the virtual world about ourselves, about our identity, to live better lives in the real world.1:38Now fast-forward to 2012. I'm back here on the TED stage again. My daughter's 20. She's a college student. She sleeps with her cellphone, so do I. And I've just written a new book, but this time it's not one that will get me on the cover of Wired magazine. So what happened? I'm still excited by technology, but I believe, and I'm here to make the case, that we're letting it take us places that we don't want to go.2:17Over the past 15 years, I've studied technologies of mobile communication and I've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people, young and old, about their plugged in lives. And what I've found is that our little devices, those little devices in our pockets, are so psychologically powerful that they don't only change what we do, they change who we are. Some of the things we do now with our devices are things that, only a few years ago, we would have found odd or disturbing, but they've quickly come to seem familiar, just how we do things.2:59So just to take some quick examples: People text or do email during corporate board meetings. They text and shop and go on Facebook during classes, during presentations, actually during all meetings. People talk to me about the important new skill of making eye contact while you're texting. (Laughter) People explain to me that it's hard, but that it can be done. Parents text and do email at breakfast and at dinner while their children complain about not having their parents' full attention. But then these same children deny each other their full attention. This is a recent shot of my daughter and her friends being together while not being together. And we even text at funerals. I study this. We remove ourselves from our grief or from our revery and we go into our phones.4:04Why does this matter? It matters to me because I think we're setting ourselves up for trouble — trouble certainly in how we relate to each other, but also trouble in how we relate to ourselves and our capacity for self-reflection.We're getting used to a new way of being alone together. People want to be with each other, but also elsewhere — connected to all the different places they want to be. People want to customize their lives. They want to go in and out of all the places they are because the thing that matters most to them is control over where they put their attention. So you want to go to that board meeting, but you only want to pay attention to the bits that interest you. And some people think that's a good thing. But you can end up hiding from each other, even as we're all constantly connected to each other.5:04A 50-year-old business man lamented to me that he feels he doesn't have colleagues anymore at work. When he goes to work, he doesn't stop by to talk to anybody, he doesn't call. And he says he doesn't want to interrupt his colleagues because, he says, "They're too busy on their email." But then he stops himself and he says, "You know, I'm not telling you the truth. I'm the one who doesn't want to be interrupted. I think I should want to, but actually I'd rather just do things on my Blackberry."5:35Across the generations, I see that people can't get enough of each other, if and only if they can have each other at a distance, in amounts they can control. I call it the Goldilocks effect: not too close, not too far, just right. But what might feel just right for that middle-aged executive can be a problem foran adolescent who needs to develop face-to-face relationships. An 18-year-old boy who uses texting for almost everything says to me wistfully, "Someday, someday, but certainly not now, I'd like to learn how to have a conversation."6:22When I ask people "What's wrong with having a conversation?" People say, "I'll tell you what's wrong with having a conversation. It takes place in real time and you can't control what you're going to say." So that's the bottom line. Texting, email, posting, all of these things let us present the self as we want to be. We get to edit, and that means we get to delete, and that means we get to retouch, the face, the voice, the flesh, the body — not too little, not too much, just right.7:05Human relationships are rich and they're messy and they're demanding. And we clean them up with technology. And when we do, one of the things that can happen is that we sacrifice conversation for mere connection. We short-change ourselves. And over time, we seem to forget this, or we seem to stop caring.7:32I was caught off guard when Stephen Colbert asked me a profound question,a profound question. He said, "Don't all those little tweets, don't all those little sips of online communication, add up to one big gulp of real conversation?" My answer was no, they don't add up. Connecting in sips may work for gathering discrete bits of information, they may work for saying, "I'm thinking about you," or even for saying, "I love you," — I mean, look at how I felt when I got that text from my daughter — but they don't really work for learning about each other, for really coming to know and understand each other. And we use conversations with each other to learn how to have conversations with ourselves. So a flight from conversation can really matter because it can compromise our capacity for self-reflection. For kids growing up, that skill is the bedrock of development.8:57Over and over I hear, "I would rather text than talk." And what I'm seeing is that people get so used to being short-changed out of real conversation, so used to getting by with less, that they've become almost willing to dispense with people altogether. So for example, many people share with me this wish, that some day a more advanced version of Siri, the digital assistant on Apple's iPhone, will be more like a best friend, someone who will listen when others won't. I believe this wish reflects a painful truth that I've learned in the past 15 years. That feeling that no one is listening to me is very important in our relationships with technology. That's why it's so appealing to have a Facebook page or a Twitter feed — so many automatic listeners. And the feeling that no one is listening to me make us want to spend time with machines that seem to care about us.10:03We're developing robots, they call them sociable robots, that are specifically designed to be companions — to the elderly, to our children, to us. Have we so lost confidence that we will be there for each other? During my research I worked in nursing homes, and I brought in these sociable robots that were designed to give the elderly the feeling that they were understood. And one day I came in and a woman who had lost a child was talking to a robot in the shape of a baby seal. It seemed to be looking in her eyes. It seemed to be following the conversation. It comforted her. And many people found this amazing.10:56But that woman was trying to make sense of her life with a machine that had no experience of the arc of a human life. That robot put on a great show. And we're vulnerable. People experience pretend empathy as though it were the real thing. So during that moment when that woman was experiencing that pretend empathy, I was thinking, "That robot can't empathize. It doesn't face death. It doesn't know life."11:33And as that woman took comfort in her robot companion, I didn't find it amazing; I found it one of the most wrenching, complicated moments in my 15 years of work. But when I stepped back, I felt myself at the cold, hard center of a perfect storm. We expect more from technology and less from each other. And I ask myself, "Why have things come to this?"12:07And I believe it's because technology appeals to us most where we are most vulnerable. And we are vulnerable. We're lonely, but we're afraid of intimacy. And so from social networks to sociable robots, we're designing technologies that will give us the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. We turn to technology to help us feel connected in ways we can comfortably control. But we're not so comfortable. We are not so much in control.12:41These days, those phones in our pockets are changing our minds and hearts because they offer us three gratifying fantasies. One, that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be; two, that we will always be heard; and three, that we will never have to be alone. And that third idea, that we will never have to be alone, is central to changing our psyches. Because the moment that people are alone, even for a few seconds, they become anxious, they panic, they fidget, they reach for a device. Just think of people at a checkout line or at a red light. Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved. And so people try to solve it by connecting. But here, connection is more like a symptom than a cure. It expresses, but it doesn't solve, an underlying problem. But more than a symptom, constant connection is changing the way people think of themselves. It's shaping a new way of being.13:47The best way to describe it is, I share therefore I am. We use technology to define ourselves by sharing our thoughts and feelings even as we're having them. So before it was: I have a feeling, I want to make a call. Now it's: I want to have a feeling, I need to send a text. The problem with this new regime of "I share therefore I am" is that, if we don't have connection, we don't feel like ourselves. We almost don't feel ourselves. So what do we do? We connect more and more. But in the process, we set ourselves up to be isolated.14:29How do you get from connection to isolation? You end up isolated if you don't cultivate the capacity for solitude, the ability to be separate, to gather yourself. Solitude is where you find yourself so that you can reach out to other people and form real attachments. When we don't have the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious or in order to feel alive. Whenthis happens, we're not able to appreciate who they are. It's as though we're using them as spare parts to support our fragile sense of self. We slip into thinking that always being connected is going to make us feel less alone. But we're at risk, because actually it's the opposite that's true. If we're not able to be alone, we're going to be more lonely. And if we don't teach our children to be alone, they're only going to know how to be lonely.15:33When I spoke at TED in 1996, reporting on my studies of the early virtual communities, I said, "Those who make the most of their lives on the screen come to it in a spirit of self-reflection." And that's what I'm calling for here, now: reflection and, more than that, a conversation about where our current use of technology may be taking us, what it might be costing us. We're smitten with technology. And we're afraid, like young lovers, that too much talking might spoil the romance. But it's time to talk. We grew up with digital technology and so we see it as all grown up. But it's not, it's early days. There's plenty of time for us to reconsider how we use it, how we build it. I'm not suggesting that we turn away from our devices, just that we develop a more self-aware relationship with them, with each other and with ourselves.16:38I see some first steps. Start thinking of solitude as a good thing. Make room for it. Find ways to demonstrate this as a value to your children. Create sacred spaces at home — the kitchen, the dining room — and reclaim them for conversation. Do the same thing at work. At work, we're so busy communicating that we often don't have time to think, we don't have time to talk, about the things that really matter. Change that. Most important, we all really need to listen to each other, including to the boring bits. Because it's when we stumble or hesitate or lose our words that we reveal ourselves to each other.17:29Technology is making a bid to redefine human connection — how we care for each other, how we care for ourselves — but it's also giving us the opportunity to affirm our values and our direction. I'm optimistic. We have everything we need to start. We have each other. And we have the greatest chance of success if we recognize our vulnerability. That we listen when technology says it will take something complicated and promises something simpler.So in my work, I hear that life is hard, relationships are filled with risk. And then there's technology — simpler, hopeful, optimistic, ever-young. It's like calling in the cavalry. An ad campaign promises that online and with avatars, you can "Finally, love your friends love your body, love your life, online and with avatars." We're drawn to virtual romance, to computer games that seem like worlds, to the idea that robots, robots, will someday be our true companions. We spend an evening on the social network instead of going to the pub with friends.18:55But our fantasies of substitution have cost us. Now we all need to focus on the many, many ways technology can lead us back to our real lives, our own bodies, our own communities, our own politics, our own planet. They need us. Let's talk about how we can use digital technology, the technology of our dreams, to make this life the life we can love.19:30Thank you.0:11几分钟之前我的女儿Rebecca 发了一条短信为我加油。

TED英文演讲：社交媒体时期的孤单数分钟以前我的孩子Rebecca发过一条短消息为我给油。

她讲“母亲，你能震撼人心整场的!”我太喜爱这个了收到这条短消息如同获得了她的相拥。

因此大伙儿看到了自己就处于那样一个关键分歧里。

自己非常喜欢收短信但却要告知大伙儿过多的短消息会变成一个问题。

实际上，我的孩子要我想到了这个故事的开始。

1996年我第一次在TED演讲的情况下Rebecca仅有五岁她就坐着那边最前座。

那时候我刚写了一本书庆贺大家的互联网美好生活并且即将变成《连线》杂志期刊(Wired)的封面女郎。

在这些让人沉醉的日巷子里大家感受着网络聊天室和线上网络社区。

大家正从不一样的视角探寻自身。

随后大家返回实际中。

我对于此事觉得十分激动。

做为一个心理学专家，最令我激动的就这样的核心理念：大家会应用我们在虚幻世界中对自身，对大家本身认可的掌握改进大家的日常生活。

如今使我们快放到20xx年我又再次返回了TED的演讲台。

我的孩子早已是一名二十岁的在校大学生了。

她入睡都怀着她的手机上。

实际上我是。

我刚完成了一本新小说，可是这一本却不容易要我走上《连线》杂志期刊的封面图。

那这十几年间发生什么事呢?我依然为高新科技而激动可是我坚信而且要想向大伙儿表明大家已经纵容高新科技它将大家带向误入歧途。

过去的20xx年里我一直在科学研究移动通信技术技术性的危害而且浏览了不计其数的人，年青的或年老的掌握她们的“挪动日常生活”。

我发现了大家袋子中这些轻便的电子产品在社会心理学上拥有这般强劲的能量他们不但更改了我们的日常生活方法也更改了大家自身。

大家如今用电子产品做的一些事儿在两年前还被觉得是新奇或令人反感，可是迅速大伙儿就见怪不怪——仅仅大家的做事方法罢了。

使我们来举好多个简易的事例。

大家在企业的执行董事大会上发信息或写电子邮件，大家发信息，网上购物，访问京剧脸谱——上课的时候，听汇报时，事实上在基本上全部的大会时。

乃至有些人跟我说一项关键的超级技能——发信息时怎样与他人开展对视!(笑)有人说这尽管难但或是能够保证的。

活在世上做好自己足矣"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone.“我曾经认为生活中最糟糕的事情就是孤独终老。

It's not.并不是。

The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone." --Robin Williams生活中最糟糕的事情就是和让你感到孤独的人在一起。

”——罗宾·威廉姆斯Codependency is a potentially destructive state to be in.相互依赖是一种潜在的破坏性状态。

At its core, it means that you cannot be alone.本质上，这意味着你无法独处。

And the consequence of this is an ongoing clinging to other people; no matter how bad they treat you. 这样做的结果就是你会持续地依附于他人，不管他们对你有多坏。

But it's an illusion to think that we need someone else to make us feel complete.但是认为我们需要别人来让我们感到完整是一种错觉。

We don't.我们不需要。

When we let our contentment depend on external things, we have given our power away.当我们让自己的满足依赖于外在的东⻄时，我们已经失去了自己的力量。

As humans, we aren't islands.作为人类，我们不是岛屿。

社交媒体时代的联系与孤独一篇英语作文全文共3篇示例，供读者参考篇1In the age of social media, people are more connected than ever before. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have made it easier to stay in touch with friends and family, share updates about our lives, and connect with people from all over the world. However, despite the apparent benefits of social media, there is a growing concern that it may actually be making us more isolated and lonely.One of the main issues with social media is that it can create a false sense of connection. While we may have hundreds or even thousands of friends and followers online, the relationships we form through social media are often superficial and lack the depth and emotional intimacy of face-to-face interactions. In fact, studies have shown that spending too much time on social media can actually lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.Another problem with social media is that it can be a breeding ground for comparison and envy. As we scroll through our news feeds and see the carefully curated highlight reels ofother people's lives, it can be easy to feel inadequate or left out. This can lead to a vicious cycle of comparing ourselves to others, feeling bad about ourselves, and seeking validation through likes and comments.Furthermore, social media can also contribute to a decrease in real-life social interactions. Instead of meeting up with friends in person or picking up the phone to have a conversation, we may opt to send a quick text or comment on a post. This can lead to a lack of meaningful connections and a sense of isolation.In order to combat the negative effects of social media on our mental health and well-being, it's important to take steps to cultivate real-life relationships and connections. This may involve limiting our time on social media, making an effort to reach out to friends and family in person or over the phone, and participating in activities that allow us to connect with others in a meaningful way.Ultimately, social media can be a powerful tool for staying connected and building relationships, but it's important to use it mindfully and intentionally. By prioritizing real-life connections and relationships, we can combat the feelings of loneliness and isolation that can often accompany the constant scrolling and clicking of the social media age.篇2In the age of social media, our lives have become increasingly connected through platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. These platforms allow us to stay in touch with friends and family, share our thoughts and experiences, and even make new connections with people from around the world. However, while social media has its benefits in terms of facilitating communication and networking, it also has a darker side – the potential to breed feelings of loneliness and isolation.One of the main issues with social media is that it can create a false sense of connection. We may have hundreds or even thousands of friends and followers online, but how many of these connections are truly meaningful? Studies have shown that social media can actually lead to feelings of loneliness and FOMO (fear of missing out), as we compare our lives to the carefully curated versions of others that we see on our feeds. This constant comparison can make us feel inadequate or like we are missing out on something important, leading to feelings of isolation and disconnection from those around us.Another problem with social media is the way it can fuel addictive behaviors. We may find ourselves constantly checking our notifications, scrolling through our feeds, and seekingvalidation through likes and comments. This constant need for external validation can lead to a cycle of seeking approval from others rather than focusing on our own self-worth and happiness. This can further contribute to feelings of loneliness and detachment from the real world.Furthermore, social media can also be a breeding ground for cyberbullying and negative interactions. The anonymity of the internet can embolden people to say hurtful things that they would never say in person, leading to feelings of hurt and isolation for the victims. The pressure to present a perfect image online can also create feelings of inadequacy and loneliness, as we may feel like we have to constantly measure up to an unattainable standard.So, what can we do to combat the negative effects of social media on our mental health and well-being? One solution is to limit our screen time and prioritize real-life interactions with friends and family. Taking a break from social media can help us re-connect with ourselves and the world around us, rather than constantly seeking validation from others online. It is important to remember that social media is just a tool for communication, not a substitute for genuine human connection.In conclusion, while social media has the potential to connect us in unprecedented ways, it also has the power to foster feelings of loneliness and isolation. It is important to strike a balance between our online and offline lives, and to prioritize meaningful relationships over superficial connections. By being mindful of our social media usage and seeking genuine connections with others, we can combat the negative effects of loneliness in the digital age.篇3In the age of social media, our lives have become more connected than ever before. We can easily reach out to friends and family members all around the world with just a few taps on our phones. We can share our thoughts, photos, and experiences with a vast audience within seconds. We can stay updated on the latest news and trends, and we can even form new friendships and connections online. However, as social media has brought us closer together in many ways, it has also contributed to a growing sense of loneliness and isolation among individuals.One of the main reasons why social media can lead to feelings of loneliness is the comparison factor. When we scroll through our feeds and see our friends posting pictures of their glamorous vacations, perfect families, and successful careers, it'seasy to start feeling inadequate and envious. We begin to compare our own lives to the carefully curated versions of others that we see online, and we may feel like we are not measuring up. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation as we struggle to keep up with the illusions of perfection that are presented on social media.Another reason why social media can contribute to feelings of loneliness is the false sense of connection it provides. While we may have hundreds or even thousands of friends and followers online, many of these connections are superficial and lack depth. We may have hundreds of likes and comments on our posts, but that doesn't necessarily translate into meaningful relationships or genuine human connection. We may spend hours scrolling through our feeds, but we still feel empty and alone at the end of the day.Furthermore, the constant need to be connected and available online can also lead to feelings of isolation. Social media has created a culture of constant communication and availability, where we are expected to always be online and responsive to messages and notifications. This can be overwhelming and exhausting, and it can make us feel like we are always on display and never truly alone. The pressure tomaintain a perfect online persona can also be isolating, as we may feel like we have to hide our true selves and only present the highlights of our lives to the world.Despite these challenges, social media can also be a valuable tool for combating loneliness and fostering genuine connections. It can provide a platform for individuals to share their struggles and vulnerabilities, and to find support and empathy from others who may be going through similar experiences. It can also be a way to connect with like-minded individuals who share our interests and values, and to form communities of support and understanding. By using social media in a mindful and intentional way, we can build real connections and relationships that go beyond the surface level interactions that are so common online.In conclusion, while social media has the potential to bring us closer together and create new connections, it can also contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation. By being aware of the pitfalls of social media and taking steps to cultivate genuine relationships and connections offline, we can combat the negative effects of social media on our mental health and well-being. We can use social media as a tool to connect with others, rather than as a substitute for real human interaction. Byfinding a balance between our online and offline lives, we can create a sense of belonging and community that enriches our lives and supports our emotional well-being.。