《老友记》第一季剧本全集【双语】【中英对照】

117 The One With Two Parts, Part 2Opening Credits[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?Rachel: You.Monica: Really?Rachel: Yeah.Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that. Monica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?Rachel: Why, how much is this gonna cost?Monica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.Rachel: Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do?Monica: Well there's not much we can do.Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours. Monica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.Rachel: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this. Rachel: Thank you. Thank you. I love you.Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).Nurse: Why?Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I 117 双胞胎两部曲（二）小姐~那是菲比好的，就这样了？他们是双胞胎菲比是菲比，乌苏拉好辣这是给乌苏拉的当然好？合身马修？遥控器给罗修他是怎么办到的？全是乌苏拉惹的祸他和她约会？有这么糟吗？你并不了解我妹妹你得和乔依谈谈他爱上她了你不会失去他的他们还没上过床八字都还没一撇呢哦~，需要帮忙吗？瑞秋…我没事，我没事~哦哦哦，哦哦哦，哦哦哦~你好我朋友取下圣诞灯时，从阳台跌落她的脚或者脚踝可能受伤了我的天，你们的圣诞灯还亮着？资料填后拿给我哦哦哦，哦哦哦，哦哦哦~好的。

108 The One Where Nana Dies Twice[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.)Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.Chandler:Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?Chandler: Yes please.Shelley: Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's-Chandler: He's a he?Shelley:Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that? Rachel: Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be...Chandler: You did?Rachel:Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.Chandler:Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?Monica: I did.Phoebe: Yeah, I think so, yeah.Joey: Not me.Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.) Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me? Phoebe: I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny...Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you e ver think that about him? All: Yeah! Right!Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.All: Yes. Absolutely. A quality. 108 （祖母）娜娜死了两回帅哥，如何?萤光灯下的脱水日本面我能有多好?问你一个问题你目前没有约会的对象吧?我遇见一个和你是绝配的人绝配或许是个问题你若说共同独立或自我毁灭的话…周六想要有个约会的对象吗?当然，拜托了他人帅而且风趣，他…他?糟了，我以为…你是个有为的青年很好，雪莉我要到马桶去把自己冲掉再见听完后我没心情吃面了这不荒谬吗?你能相信她会有这样的想法吗? 我第一次见到你时我以为你是你真的这样认为?对，但后来你在菲比的生日会上一直盯着我的胸部我想你大概不是吧你们第一次看见我时也是这样认为?我是我不觉得我也是虽然大学时代的苏珊这样认为开什么玩笑?你有告诉她我不是吗?没有没有，因为我也想跟她约会我告诉她你和伯尼是一对因为他也喜欢她所以这简直是太神奇了是什么原因?我不知道Chandler:Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.(Phone rings; Monica gets it)Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome. Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.Ross:(to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana. [Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.) Ross: So, uh, how's she doing?Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.Monica: How-how are you, Mom?Mrs. Geller:Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?Monica: What?Mrs. Geller: What's different?Monica: Nothing.Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover. Monica: Oh God!(They hug.)[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.] Monica: The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse. Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants. Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)Nurse: Mrs. Geller?(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.) Ross: She looks so small.Monica: I know.Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now. Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)Ross: Bye, Nana.(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)Monica: Ross!(Ross runs out too.)Mrs. Geller: What is going on?! 因为你既聪明又风趣罗斯也是聪明又风趣你们有想过他是吗?是哦到底是为什么?我也说不上来但你就是有那种调调没错调调?说得好我还担心你们看不出呢瑞秋，是保罗从罗马打来的天啊，从罗马打来(意大利语)了不起，他从罗马打来我也可以我到罗马去就是了摩妮卡，你爸打来的你能长话短说吗?我正和罗马通电话爸，怎么了?我的天罗斯，是奶奶你们还好吧?她的情况如何?医生说只剩几小时了妈，你还好吧?我?我还好真高兴见到你们来你的头发怎么了?什么?看起来有点不同.没什么变化呀.或许是这个缘故她真是令人难以置信放松点看来我们得在这儿待一段时间了免不了还要谈你男友和工作的事我的老天她皮包里有发霉的钱币真呕心你们知道我喜欢什么吗?她的人工袋糖她总是从餐厅里偷走不只是餐厅，我们家也一样格雷太太她看起来好小我知道Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..Mrs. Geller: What?Ross: She's not- past, she's present, she's back.Aunt Lillian: (reentering) What's going on?Mr. Geller: She may have died.Aunt Lillian: She may have died?Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.) Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)Nurse: This almost never happens!(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)Ross:Now she's passed.[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.] Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?Rachel:(exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.(Monica and Ross enter.)Rachel: So, um, did she...Ross: Twice.Joey: Twice?Phoebe: Oh, that sucks!Joey: You guys okay?Ross:I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh...Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.Ross: Nono, she's gone.Monica: We checked. A lot.Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her. Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil) Phoebe: Thanks!Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.Joey:Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?Phoebe:Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. (Hands back the pencil)[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]Ross: I thought it was gonna be a closed casket. 至少她现在有阿公和婶婶陪伴别了，奶奶再见，奶奶罗斯护士怎么了？护士说她已过世了，实际上不是什么?她还没完全过世她还活着，她回来了怎么回事?她可能死了她可能死了?我们也想知道我进去看看这种事几乎不可能发生她过世了我必须要知道是我的头发?对，正是你的头发你有一头同性恋的头发她怎么样了?两次两次?你们还好吧?说不上来，好诡异我知道她已过世但我感觉...或许是因为她还没有不，她过世了我们检查了好多遍或许人不会真正过世我妈死后我偶尔会感觉她就在身旁还有黛此我初中最要好的朋友在打迷你高尔夫时被闪电击中用那枝黄色铅笔时我总感到一股强烈的”心灵感应”我好想念她来，菲此，你要吗?谢谢不客气，早上刚削好的我不信这一套人死了就是死了死了就成了虫的食物Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?Ross: (sarcastic) I don't see why not.(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)Ross: Here's my retainer![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.] Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-Monica: Dad!Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.Monica: You what?Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun. Monica: Define fun.Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...Monica:...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.Mr. Geller:Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.Monica: That's probably what they'll say.Mr. Geller: I'd like that.[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]Chandler: Hey, gorgeous.Shelley: (sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um- Chandler:No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake.Shelley: Oh! Okay! Phew!Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?Shelley: I dunno, uh... you just have a-a...Chandler: ...Quality, right, great.Shelley: Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great couple.Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?Shelley: What? He's cute!Chandler: Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll.Shelley: Is Brian...?Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.Shelley: Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league. Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I 钱德看起来像个同性恋? 我不知道此人是谁但绝对不是黛比我以为要用密封的棺木这并不代表她不能看起来体面一点孩子，你想你能进去吗? 当然可以我的牙齿矫正器我在想我走的时候爸听我说我走的时候我要海葬什么?我要海葬好像挺有意思的定义一下那一天你们会玩得很开心的你们会乘着船带着午餐…然后把你的尸体丢人大海真是有意思每个人都自认为了解我他们都说杰克太一成不变了或许我死后他们会说海葬,哈?他们大概会这么说吧希望如此美女昨天的事很抱歉我别担心相信我，显然别人也犯了相同的错误你认为是我的缘故?我说不上来你就是有那种调调，是哦真可惜因为你和罗尔本来很登对罗尔?会计部门的罗尔你觉得我们很配?有何不可?他很帅他不像布莱恩布莱恩是不是...?重点是如果你想替我配对我希望你会挑他我想你配不上布莱恩对不起你认为我配不上他?could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?Aunt Lillian: No.Ross:I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy. Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)Aunt Lillian: Wait! We need shoes!(Ross falls back inside)Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?Aunt Lillian: Could we see something in a slimmer heel?Ross:(forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.Aunt Lillian: No, it really sh ould be burgundy.Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back. (He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)Ross: Oh my God..Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?Ross: Yeah, just... just Nana stuff.(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n' Lo's rain down on him)Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?Monica: Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings. Rachel: Oh, you-you mean your earrings?Phoebe: What'd I say?Rachel: (sticking her foot out) Hm-m.Monica: Are these the shoes?Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.Ross: What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...?Joey: (entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go? Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?(They all leave.) 因为我配得上他相信我我真的配不上这一个?不是我已让你们看过每件衣服除非你们想让她永远穿着柠檬黄长裤配上紫红色衣服不论我们选什么她都会说我们选错了没错，就选紫红色吧不错的选择，我要出来了等等，还缺鞋子这一双如何?这是一双日鞋她去的地方大家会穿得更正式?能找鞋跟细一点的鞋吗?我找不到紫红色的晚鞋不过有双银色的鞋或许适合不行，一定要紫红色除非我们另找一件套装不,等等我看看后面或许有天呀你没事吧，孩子?没事，只是奶奶的东西各位如何?准备好了没?早上妈来电叫我别扎头发你知道我的耳朵并不是我最漂亮的部位吗?有时候我认为是抱歉，我迟到了我找不到我的”耳圈”你是指你的耳环?我刚说什么?你穿这一双?对，保罗从义大利寄来的我们这儿没卖鞋子?早安，准备走了没?穿戴整齐后我们不是都好看许多?人模人样的刚刚的仪式简单而隆重可不是吗过来，心肝你该使用晚霜了[Scene: The cemetary, after the funeral.]Monica: It was a really beautiful service.Mrs. Geller:It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream. (Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notice s Chandler watching)Joey: What?Chandler: Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger.Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV) Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral?Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception. Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)Rachel: Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.Phoebe: God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)All: God! Ross!Ross: I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised... [Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.] Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.Ross: What, what is it?Phoebe: You missed a belt loop.Ross: Oh! No-n-Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm.Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)Chandler: Oh, no-Andrea: Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter.Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is. (They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great.Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh?Ross:Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice...Ross: ...Chandler! 怎么了?没什么，你的外套很吵瞧，巨人队对牛仔队你在葬礼时看足球赛? 不，比赛还没开始我要在接待会上看比赛你真是个恶劣的人不，保罗送我的新鞋希望没坏你没事吧?多美好的一天啊什么?我是指天气对，空气，树木即使奶奶已过世就好像...罗斯，你还好吧?罗斯…我没事只是我最大的梦魇终于成真别担心我只是看看你是否肌肉痉挛怎么了?你的皮带穿孔掉了一个是痉挛来，孩子我擦伤时都用这个妈，谢谢抱歉，我叫安朵拉桃乐丝的女儿我叫钱德我不知道桃乐丝是谁看看谁出现了感觉如何?感觉好多了…那些药丸可真有效对，不是第一次那两颗而是后来那两颗我爱你们大家你们是最棒的我爱我的妹妹我爱菲此钱德，我爱你听着，如果你想当同志就当吧我不在乎你说得对瑞秋我最爱你了Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.Monica: Thank you. They're yours.Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's.(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)Mr. Geller:Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was. [Scene: Central Perk, the gang are looking at old photos.] Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?Ross: That little naked guy would be me.Rachel: Aww, look at the little t hing.Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler: Who are those people?Ross: Got me.Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.Rachel:Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile) Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.Closing Credits[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]Chandler: Hey, Lowell.Lowell: Hey, Chandler.Chandler: So how's it going there in Financial Services?Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?Chandler:Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not.Lowell: I know. That's what I told her.Chandler: Really.Lowell: Yeah.Chandler: So- you can tell?Lowell: Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar. Chandler: So you don't think I have a, a quality?Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.Chandler: He is?Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)Chandler:Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.End 这个光屁股的是谁?那个人就是我瞧那个小东西对，那是我的小弟弟成熟点行吗?那些人是谁?可把我问倒了中间那一个是奶奶我看看我和大伙儿摄于在爪哇乔家摩妮卡你和你奶奶长得一模一样当时她几岁?1939年…39年24或25岁他们好像玩得很开心看…光屁股的摩妮卡我看看不，还是我我在尝试新事物罗威钱德会计部门的情况如何?简直一团乱你呢?很好我不知道雪莉如何对你说我这个人但是我不是（同性恋）.我知道，我也是这样告诉她的真的?你看得出来?十之八九我们有某种…雷达这么说你认为我没那种调调代表男同志发言我得说没有对了，你朋友布莱恩,他是他是?而且你配不上他我配不上他我可以得到布莱恩如果我愿意你好,布莱恩。

113 The One With the Boobies[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]Rachel: That is IT! You just barge in here, you don't knock Chandler: I'm sorry!Rachel: You have no respect for anybody's privacy!Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!Chandler: Can I just say one thing?Rachel: What? What?!Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.Rachel: Oh!!(She storms off)Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.Roger: That's pretty much it.Phoebe: Oops!Roger: But you tell it really well, sweetie.Phoebe: Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you. Roger: Okay. I'll miss you.Phoebe: Isn't he great?Rachel: He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.Phoebe: I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?Phoebe:Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl.Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else? Chandler: Okay.Roger: Did I, uh, did I miss something?Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.Ross: You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies? Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.Rachel: Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please? 113 看胸脯抱歉天啊，我受够了你不敲门就闯进来? 难道你不尊重别人的隐私权?瑞秋，慢着不，你慢着，这太荒唐了我能说一件事吗? 什么事?这块布编的非常松因此我仍能看见你的胸脯亲爱的，告诉他们你的病人如何把事想成另一件事例如电话响时她就去洗澡差不多是那样但你说得很好谢谢快走开我们才能谈你好吧，我会想念你的他很不错吧他好帅，也好像很喜欢你我知道，他人很好导演：亚伦梅尔森而且很复杂为何他们就得成为人间男女?他会在沙发上做吗?我不知道…有点奇怪聚乙稀做的大家还想要别的吗?要，我要…抱歉，卖完了，其他人呢? 我是否错过某事? 没有她很生气因为我看见她的胸脯你看她的胸脯干吗? 那是意外和拿着望远镜和甜甜圈过街的感觉不同能改变话题吗?没错，因为那不是她的胸脯而是她的胸部菲比，我要的不只是改变字眼我不知你如此介意你的胸脯很好看好看?就这样?手套也很好看我…左右为难你真逗他真的很逗他不笑的时候我也不想待在这儿等等那是什么意思?你似乎有亲密上的问题你用你的幽默和人保持距离我才刚认识你Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change. Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.Chandler:Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that? Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.Chandler: Huh.Roger:I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.Chandler: Uhhuh, how did you know that?Roger: It's textbook.(Joey enters with his dad)Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?All: Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!Monica: Hey, how long are you in the city?Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.Roger: Hi.Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.Roger: You too, sir.Mr. Tribbian i: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy? Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)Mr. Tribbiani:Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!(Chandler stays stonefaced)[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]Mr. Tribbiani:Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late nowJoey:(Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?Joey: Since then?! 我对你毫无所知独子?父母在你青春期前离婚?你怎会知道？你很典型各位乔伊你们都认识我爸吧?打算在纽约待多久?几天我在中城工作我想和儿子同住比来回坐渡轮好我没见过他他是我朋友罗杰幸会，罗杰彼此彼此玩布偶的那个怎么了? 爸抱歉，罗斯，你的太太呢?两人出局了?钱德，说点好笑的我得挂电话了，我也想你我爱你，但现在很晚了让我向她打声招呼妈，我和包西达大夫约了时间什么?你知道这不是妈吗?她叫罗妮，宠物殡葬业者当然你和她多久了…记得小时候我常带你去海军军港看大船? 从那时候?不，才6年我只想勾起你美好的回忆让你不会觉得我一直是个大烂人乔伊，你爱过吗?我不知道那就是没有你的蕃茄烧焦了别想转移话题乔，你老爸爱得无法自拔最糟的是我爱两个女人拜托你告诉我其中一个是妈当然其中一个是你妈你是怎么搞的?这就像你某天起床突然发现你爸是个双面人就像是为中情局工作的间谍那一定很酷但这个很烂我懂为何父母就不能是父母?为何他们就得成为人间男女?别再盯着我的胸部看Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?Joey: ...I d'know.Mr. Tribbiani: Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes. Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the wo rst part of it is, it's with two different women.Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]Joey:It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!Rachel:I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?Rachel: Did you not get a good enough look the other day?Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.Chan dler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'(Door buzzer goes)Monica: Hello?Phoebe: (Intercom) It's Phoebe.Roger: (Intercom) And Rog.Monica: C'mon up.Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.Joey: What's the matter with Rog?Ross: Yeah.Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy. Ross:What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad.(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset) Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted 什么?什么?那一天你还看得不够吗?我们都已是成年人此事只有一个解决之道既然你看过她的胸脯你应该让她看你的小弟弟办不到拜托，他说得对以眼还眼我不会让你看的我不会让你看的快上来这下可好，罗杰来了罗杰有什么不对劲吗?没什么，小事我讨厌这家伙为什么?因为他太善于分析他就是这种人别这样嘛，他没那么糟这就是你错误的地方如果当初我感觉到她是女同志我何必和她结婚呢?我不知道或许你想让婚姻失败为什么…我不知道，或许自信心不足或许是弥补你让你妹相形见绌的愧疚或许…等等，回到妹妹的话题什么?我不知道你要使你的婚姻触礁让你妹在父母面前不那么抬不起头这太荒谬了她不争气我并未感到自责你认为我不争气?他不错吧我不是那个意思?多年来我以为你支持我但或许你婚姻失败目的是想巴结爸妈让他们更心疼你我娶女同志是想让你建立自信你说得对那不是“威伯”的问题而是威伯游乐宫和游轮的问题它上面的救生艇让威伯能缓缓驶出那滋味不好受菲比，如果想看电影我们现在该走了打起精神来，瑞秋菲比，我们快来不及了好谢谢不客气to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures! Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!Phoebe: Isn't he good?Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)Rachel:You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.Phoebe: Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?Roger: Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie...Phoebe: Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.Monica: You're welcome.Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love. (He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it) Monica: Hate that guy! (Throws another cookie)[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]Joey: Night, you guys.(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani. Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip? Chandler:Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know? Commercial Break[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chand ler. Joey's dad is not around.]Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. Ronni: That's a good one!(Joey's dad enters.)Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, Joe.Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.Mr. Tribbiani: Huh? 各位，很高兴和各位再度见面摩妮卡，饼干别吃太多切记，那只是食物不是爱我讨厌这家伙晚安，各位这是我们订的女人需要帮忙吗?不用，谢谢，我在等乔依我就是乔依不是你，是老乔依天啊，你此照片上帅多了我是罗妮想吃起司块(夹子)吗?乔伊有“栓子”但我可以来一点大部份人在宠物过世后希望它们就像长眠一样但有些人要他们摆出姿势像追自己的尾巴跳起接住飞盘乔伊，如果我先走我的姿势要像找钥匙一样这姿势不错乔伊罗妮来了宝贝你来干什么?你的假发留在我的住处我想你明天用得上谢谢谁想玩“科普朗克”?我不该来这儿我该走了我不想错过最后一班地铁不，我不要你坐这么晚的车我要住哪儿?这里?我们去住饭店我们去住饭店不行不行你们去饭店就一定会办事我要你们待在这儿这样我就可以监视你要监视我们?没错，我不管你们多大只要住在我家—切就得听我的那就是不准你们睡在一起他好严格爸，你睡我房间罗妮，你睡钱德的房间Ronni: Hi.Mr. Tribb iani: Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here? Ronni:Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair)Mr. Tribbiani: Thank you. Uh...Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?Ronni:Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the last train.Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing.Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?Joey: Who-ah-ho.Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.Joey: No you won't.Ronni: No we won't.Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?Joey:That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.Ronni: Wow. He's strict.Joey:Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."Joey:Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.Mr. Tribbiani: What kinda change?Joey: Well, either you break it off with RonniMr. Tribbiani: I can't do that!Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this isJoey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room![Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]Chandler: Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear. Chandler: Well, you're gonna.Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?Joey:Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over 谢谢你真是个好孩子来，我带你去看我房间感觉真奇怪你没说“不，谢了，时候不早了”只有今晚明天你们就得做出改变6年已经够久了什么改变?不是和她分手就是…我办不到不然就是向妈自首这样是不对的对，但是…我不想听快进我房里别踢了你在干什么?找寻舒适的位置穿着内裤我睡不着你非穿不可我一直在想…我总是看见女人叠在女人上面她们是首尾相接或是像煎饼一样高懂我意思吗?我总想像自己和这些女人约会因为我总想梦中情人出现时我就会勇往直前坚持到最后但如今看见我爸…你不是他，你是你自己当全天下都希望你继承你爸的事业时你有屈服吗？没有你决心当个演员这不是一件容易的事但你办到了我也相信梦中情人出现时你会有勇气对她说“抱歉，我已婚”你真的这样认为?真的谢谢滚开有事吗?乔伊说我能用你的浴室因为钱德正在用我们的可以啊你是谁？我叫罗妮情妇请进谢谢我叫瑞秋浴室在那儿好罗妮，钱德进浴室多久了?约5分钟太好了请系好安全带“小弟弟”时间到了崔先生早安钱德，该我看你的小弟弟了you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave? Joey: No.Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."Joey: You really think so?Chandler: Yeah. I really do.Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)Chandler: Get off![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]Ronni: Hi.Monica: Hi...May I help you?Ronni:Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?Monica: Okay...who are you?Ronni: Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano? The mistress?Monica: Oh, c'mon in.Ronni: Thanks.Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel.Ronni: Hi.Rachel: Bathroom's up there.Ronni: Great.Rachel: Hey, listen, Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower?Ronni: Oh, like, uh, five minutes?Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.Mr. Tribbiani: Hey. Morning, dear.(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What?Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing! Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.]All: Hey, Pheebs.Phoebe: Hey.Monica: How's it going?Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.(Chandler laughs)Phoebe: So what's going on? 你是怎么搞的?我以为你是钱德什么事?你应该在浴室这样我才能看见你的小弟弟抱歉，我的小弟弟和我在那儿菲比如何？不错罗杰想邀大家一起吃晚餐怎么了？没事只是…罗杰我说不上来，有些事…基本上我们认为他…我们讨厌他…菲此，我们很抱歉是不是他观察入微反而吓到你们了不，我们讨厌他…抱歉妈，你来干什么?我拿这个来给你还有这个头好晕你为何讲一大堆要你爸改正的垃圾? 何不顺其自然呢?里面有鸡肉，拿去放拜托，乔依，真的慢着，你都知道?我当然知道，你认为呢?你爸又不是詹姆士庞德你应该听过他的谎言“我在会计这儿睡”那是什么?拜托你怎能…记得你爸以前的模样吗?总是大吼大叫总是不开心连木店和瓶内的小船也无法让他开心这样也好，他总算有个嗜好妈，恕我直言你到底在说什么?你呢？我很好啊在理想的世界中没有她你爸也长得和史汀一样帅再告诉你别的自从那女人出现后他感到内疚而开始对我体贴每天都像我们的结婚纪念日我该为你高兴?不需要因为现在全搞砸了Phoebe: Nothing, nothing.Roger: Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon. (Pats his leg. She lies down and rests her head in his lap)Phoebe:It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't. Roger: Oh. They don't.Phoebe:But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...Roger: What?Phoebe: Intense and creepy.Roger: Oh.Phoebe: But I don't. Me, Phoebe.Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way. Phoebe: You're not? See, that's why you're so great!Roger:Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]Monica: So you talked to your dad, huh.Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.Rachel: Wow.Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain. Ross: So Joey, you okay?Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them. Chandler:If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom. Phoebe: (entering) Hey.All: Hey, Pheebs.Monica: How's it going?Phoebe: Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger.All: Awww.Phoebe: Yeah, right.All: Aaawwwwww!!Rachel: What happened?Phoebe:I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... 没错不…怎么了？我说不上来他的个好人而且对我很体贴他的某些方面很适合我只是…我讨厌这个人。

117 The One With Two Parts, Part 2Opening Credits[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?Rachel: You.Monica: Really?Rachel: Yeah.Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that. Monica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?Rachel: Why, how much is this gonna cost?Monica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.Rachel: Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do?Monica: Well there's not much we can do.Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours. Monica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.Rachel: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this. Rachel: Thank you. Thank you. I love you.Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).Nurse: Why?Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I 117 双胞胎两部曲（二）小姐~那是菲比好的，就这样了？他们是双胞胎菲比是菲比，乌苏拉好辣这是给乌苏拉的当然好？合身马修？遥控器给罗修他是怎么办到的？全是乌苏拉惹的祸他和她约会？有这么糟吗？你并不了解我妹妹你得和乔依谈谈他爱上她了你不会失去他的他们还没上过床八字都还没一撇呢哦~，需要帮忙吗？瑞秋…我没事，我没事~哦哦哦，哦哦哦，哦哦哦~你好我朋友取下圣诞灯时，从阳台跌落她的脚或者脚踝可能受伤了我的天，你们的圣诞灯还亮着？资料填后拿给我哦哦哦，哦哦哦，哦哦哦~好的。

123 The One With the Birth[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.] Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.Monica: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet? Ross:I don't know, but when I spoke to h er, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.(Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.)Joey: Do we have to know about that?Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars. Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.Ross:God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab. Rachel:Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction. (Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.) Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?Chandler: You have to pick your moments.(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?Ross: She's not even here yet.Monica: What's with the guitar?Phoebe: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical.(Carol and Susan arrive.)Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. Ross:Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunky s.Chandler: I used to have that bumper sticker.(Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.)Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.Opening Credits[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]Ross: Stopped for a Chunky.Carol: Let it go, Ross.Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)Ross: (weakly) No.(Carol's doctor, Dr. Franzblau arrives.)Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing? Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi. 123 本出世强森大夫，七线电话她还没来她将生下我的小孩却还没来不会有事的她的羊水破了吗?我不知道她和我通话时说她已分泌粘液我们需要知道这一些吗?乔伊，你有小孩时你会怎么做?我会在等待室中送雪茄乔伊准备让他孩子出生在50年代的电影中我不敢相信她可能会在计程车中生产罗斯，冷静点第一次收缩收费二块钱之后每收缩一次收五毛钱什么?钱德这样说时就没事你得选对时间我错过了吗?没有，她根本还没出现干嘛带吉他来?我想我们会在这儿待一阵子来点音乐你到底上哪儿去了?我们中途在礼品店待了一会儿买什么?我想买填充玩具苏珊想买”矮胖”苏珊要矮胖?她就快生小宝宝了是小宝宝不能中途下车买矮胖我过去也用那个汽车贴纸懂我意思吗?下车买矮胖别介意了，罗斯我多了一个，想要吗?不想我最喜爱的父母团队好法大头我了解你们在考虑生宝宝的事我知道你已怀胎九月这是好的开始收缩的情况如何?我喜欢每一阵都像是子宫中的小舞会我喜欢每一阵都像是子宫中的小舞会制片：陶德史帝芬59秒，石英表瑞士石英表我能喝饮料吗?碎冰，只能喝碎冰护士站有我去拿Dr. Franzblau:So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus. Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.Ross: 59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?Dr. Franzblau: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.Ross: I'll get it.Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.Ross: I got it—I'm getting it!(They both leave just as Rachel en ters the room, holding a cup.) Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.Carol: Th anks.Rachel: And if you need anything else, I—(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)—do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.Rachel: Oh, that's funny![Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]Monica: I want a baby.Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.Chandler: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.(A young pregnant woman enters.)Lydia: Knick fan?Joey: Oh, yeah.Lydia: Oh, boy, do they suck.Joey: Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa. Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.Joey: Oh yeah? And who do you like?Lydia: The Celtics.Joey:The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah! Joey:Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father!Lydia: There is no father.Joey: Oh, oh, oh, sorry. 不，我去，马上回来不，我去…我想你或许想喝碎冰谢谢如果还需要别的…我没见过吧? 我叫瑞秋格林卡萝前任丈夫妹抹的室友幸会，我是法大夫你室友哥哥前妻的医生真有趣我要个宝宝今晚不行，亲爱的我明天得早起起来，我们去买咖啡好吧，因为我们没做过投…或是不进也行尼克迷?他们烂透了女士看，你的尤恩，漂亮他连坐在船上都投不进水里是吗?你支持谁?是吗?你支持谁?他们无法投进船…反正他们很烂闭嘴，今年是重建年•，我帮你孩子的爹我们这儿需要爸爸…他没有爸爸抱歉没关系，我没事这边洼所有的孕妇似乎都往这儿走他们又小又肉摸起来感觉很好不久他们长大后就会开始恨你现在他们对你大吼大叫你不知原因为何你不知原因为何谢谢，罗斯用来叫你停止的好吧看，是双胞胎，好可爱不公平，我一个都没有他们怎会有两个?你也会有的是吗?什么时候?好吧，告诉你我们40岁时如果都还单身我们就一起生一个，如何?为何我40岁时还单身?不，这只是假设假设为何我到40岁时还单身?Lydia: Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh!Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.Lydia: Ok.(Joey accompanies Lydia to a hospital room.)[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]Phoebe: (singing)They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,you cry and you cry and you cry.And you cry and you cry and you cry...(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.Phoebe: Ok.(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? Chandler: You'll get one.Monica: Oh yeah? When?Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler: No, no, no.Monica:What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.Monica: Well?Chandler:Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)(Rachel enters, in a formal dress.)Rachel: Hey.Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.Monica: Did you go home and change?Rachel:Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. F ranzblau been by?Monica: No, I haven't seen him.Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?Chandler:Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?Rachel: Yeah, why?Chandler:No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with 假设为何我到40岁时还单身?我有不适婚姻的毛病吗?这降落伞是个背包看你，盛装登场你回家换衣服?今天是个重要的日子我想漂亮一点法大夫…不，我们还没见到他他在哪儿?他应该在这儿的万一小孩需要他怎么办?瑞秋，你和医生到底是怎么了难道你爸也是个医生?对，干嘛问?没理由没理由不，我不找他我不管这是不是他的孩子他是个大浑蛋不，我不是一个人乔伊在这儿什么意思?乔伊什么?什么意思?乔伊什么?对，等等，她要跟你谈对，等等，她要跟你谈对，是我不，我们只是朋友对，我单身25岁，演员她不擅于讲电话孩子的爸怎么了?如果有人即将生下我的孩子我会想知道的尼克迷你对爸爸的观点我不在乎或许吧祝你好运保重了你知道塞尔提克有什么问题?他们让球员经营球队这不是真的他们让球员经营球队这不是真的他们让球员经营球队这不是真的你们会窖死我的剩15秒14，13，12数4央点你会没事，记得这样做全是为了裘帝将全力集中在裘帝裘帝到底是谁?你儿子不，我不要我儿子叫裘帝我们协议过，我儿子叫洁米洁米是苏珊第一任女友的名字所以我们决定还是用裘帝这是什么意思?his eyes)[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]Lydia:Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?Joey: Tribbiani.Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.Joey: (takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?Lydia: She's not much of a phone person.Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.Lydia: Maybe you should.Joey: Good luck, and uh, take care, huh?(He leaves, but then returns a moment later.)Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.Joey: Oh, it is.Lydia: It isn't.Joey: It is.Lydia: Isn't![Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.] Ross: Bre athe.Susan: Breathe.Ross: Breathe.Susan: Breathe.Ross: Breathe.Susan: Breathe.Carol: You're gonna kill me!Ross: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...Carol: Count faster.Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?Susan: Your son.Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.Carol: Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie. 我们根本没讨论过裘帝我们讨论过洁希寇帝，迪伦时提到一下我脚抽筋我脚抽筋你和她睡觉我来处理抽筋你不行够了，你们都给我出去什么?是她引起的…我不管，我想生下小孩你们在这儿根本是愈帮愈忙卿走卿走出去出去怎么了?有东西爆炸了她破水了冷静点，行吗?她破水了?什么意思?什么是破水?什么是破水?拜托，都是你的错怎么说?为什么都是我的错?你们在一起之前卡萝从未把我赶出房间是吗?我出现之前有许多事卡萝没做过是吗?我出现之前有许多事卡萝没做过知道你的问题出在哪儿吗?你因我而感到岌岌可危我说的每件事都是问题我因你而感到岌岌可危?你到底在说什么?够了，进去，快我简直不敢相信你们两个小宝宝即将诞生在这栋建筑他听见的第一个声音不该是你们的吵闹声所以你们别再吵了对，苏珊别让我再发一次脾气我不喜欢我自己这样谁想听反讽的事?救命啊…我的宝宝就要诞生你们都退后你们都退后你们都退后找到人之前我们都会在这儿陪你的你告诉我巴黎的事真棒真的?那家糕饼店就在我住的饭店隔壁真的?那家糕饼店就在我住的饭店隔壁Ross: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.Carol: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.Ross: I got it.Susan: I got it.Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps. Susan: No, you don't.Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.Ross: Why?Susan: He started it!Ross: No, you started it.Susan: You did!Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.Ross: But...Carol: Now go!Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...Carol: Out!(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...Lydia: Oh, no.(Joey looks down at Lydia.)Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?Joey:(panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]Ross: Please. This is so your fault.Susan: How, how is this my fault?Ross:Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me. Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?Susan: Yes.(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes dow n the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the 加油，莉迪亚，你办得到加油，莉迪亚，你办得到我只是…我只是…你想干嘛?将门吸开?你想干嘛?将门吸开?最后他们终于发现他们的尸体不，妈，一切顺利对，罗斯很好他在其他地方不，他不见了不，你们不用飞回来我唯一的机会?什么意思?别再说了，行吗?我才26岁我连小孩的事都没想过你上哪儿去了?我刚生了个小孩了不起说不定，或许是一小时也可能是三小时别请放心，她的状况良好告诉我，目前有对象吗?没有，现在没有你呢?没有，我不容易找到对象对，我听过有关帅哥大夫的传间没有，真的我想和我工作有关我试着不让工作影响我的生活如果你是我你从事什么工作?我是服务生难道你下班回家后不会觉得…如果我再看见咖啡杯…我懂我去看看你朋友你怎么会知道我在这儿?你妈打电话告诉我的这就是她?不，这是我捡来的抱歉，让你自己承担这一切我不是自己一个我有大夫，护士和善心人士知道谁赢吗?尼克胜十分他们好烂是吗?他们没那么差劲可恶…都是你的错这本来是我今生最快乐的日子我儿子即将出世我应该在那儿的yelling, just stop it!Ross: Yeah, Susan.Phoebe:Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this. (Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?Commercial Break[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.] All: Help!Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.] Carol: Are they here yet?Rachel:No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?Carol: Ok.Rachel: Ok?Carol: Ok.Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.Dr. Franzblau:It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.[Scene: Lydia's Room, Joey is helping her deliver.]Joey:Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's— (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was just—yeah, right. Push! Push! [Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?Ross: Help! Help!Phoebe:(singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help![Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet. (Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)Chandler: Where have you been?Joey: Oh, just had a baby. 而不是被困在这儿我所爱的女人就要生我和你一样期待已久不，相信我没人像我如此期待讽刺的是你们将带着宝宝回家讽刺的是你们将带着宝宝回家大家都知道你是我是谁?这世上有父亲节，母亲节却没有女同志节每天都是女同志节精彩愿意解释吗?因为我小时候我爸离开我妈过世，我继父入狱我根本得不到父母的爱如今他有如此爱他的三个父母甚至为谁给他的爱最多而吵架而且他根本还未出世他真是全天下最幸福的宝宝抱歉，你们正在吵架他们在哪儿?他们很快就会来对，他们不会错过的对，放轻松才开九公分宝宝没那么快出来你吓到我了谁愿意帮我吗?她想掏出我的心脏这下可好，有人看见乳头吗?十公分，开始用力不要再用力了他们还没好抱歉，我无法叫宝宝等他们来抱歉，我无法叫宝宝等他们来通气口开了我是宾我是医院工人宾宾前来抢救了宾，准备好没?脚给我数到数到数到你看见什么?我看见黑暗的通气孔等等，真的是黑暗的通气孔菲此，门开了等等，你们忘了脚我们来了你们上哪儿去了说来话长Chandler: Mazel tov![Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]Dr. Franzblau: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you? Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. Rachel: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.Dr. Franzblau:No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do.Rachel: Oh.Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?Rachel: I'm a waitress.Dr. Franzblau: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.Rachel: Ok. That's fine. (takes her earrings out)[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]Lydia: So how did you know I was even here?Guy: Your mom called me. So is this her?Lydia: No, this is a loaner.Guy: I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.Lydia: Yeah, they're not so bad.(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.) [Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.Susan:The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. 卡萝，我要你不断用力抱歉，我能用这个…这里人太多了而且待会儿又会多一个所以不是前任丈夫和女同志终身伴侣者请出去再见了…祝好运…我问你，要卡萝的女同志终身伴侣才行吗?出去他的头露出来了让我看看…是头…好大卡萝，你是怎么办到的?于事无补你做得很好…抱歉你看见什么?我何时能见到头，肩膀和手臂都出来了看，是手指，肚子是男的百分百男孩百分百男孩他出来了他是个人他是个人他像谁?像我叔叔艾德，被果冻包着像我叔叔艾德，被果冻包着各位，他好漂亮谢了，菲此不准大吼我们仍需要为他取个名字宾如何?我喜欢宾宾，这名字不错你们之前怎没提过这名字?刚想出来的这就是我们不在时做的事我们能进来吗?当然，请进我知道各位，向你们介绍一个人他叫宾宾，这是大家宾，这是大家苏珊，他看起来像你谢谢天啊，没想到我们之啤有人生宝宝了Ross: We're here!Carol: (irked) Where have you been?Ross: Long story, honey.Dr. Franzblau:All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need—(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!All: Good luck!(Everyone heads for the door.)Chandler:(to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?Nurse: Out!Dr. Franzblau: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.Ross:Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!Dr. Franzblau: You're doing great, you're doing fine.Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.Susan: What do you see? What do you see?Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.Susan: Oh, look at that.Carol: What does he look like?Ross: Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o.Carol: Really?Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful! Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs!(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)[Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.]Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy. Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?Susan: I like Ben.Carol:Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? Ross: We uh, we just cooked it up.Susan: That's what we were off doing.(Monica opens the door.)Monica: Hi.Ross: Hey.Monica: Can we come i n?(The whole gang enters.)Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.Susan: Thanks.Rachel:Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. Chandler: I know, I still am one of these.Monica: Ross, can I?(Monica holds Ben.)Ross: The head, the head. You gotta...Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.Closing Credits[Scene: The Hospital, the camera is placed as though it were Ben's eyes.]Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)(Chandler comes into the picture.)Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)(The rest of the group come into the picture.)Monica: He is so amazing.Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)Joey: He doesn't do muc h, does he?Ross: No, this is pretty much it.(long moment of silence)Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee?All: Yeah.Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)Phoebe: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.(The screen fades to black.)End。

119 The One Where the Monkey Gets Away[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]Rachel:Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Monica enters with some mail.]Monica: Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.Rachel: Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee! Monica: Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any?Rachel: Oh. Right. ...Oh great.Monica: What is it?Rachel: Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'insp iration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy! Monica: Barry who you almost...?Rachel: Barry who I almost.Monica: And Mindy, your maid of...?Rachel: Mindy, my maid of. Oh!Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.] Ross:Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?Rachel: What?Ross: Hi.Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them. Ross: Really.Rachel: No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.Ross:Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?Ross:Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just 119 猴子被送走我刚看过了我们有伯爵茶，英式早餐茶肉桂茶，菊花茶薄荷茶，黑莓茶还有，让我想一下，哦…柠檬派你不是那个要喝茶的人对吧? 瑞秋，你有信谢谢酷，免费试喝的咖啡太好了因为在哪儿还有免费的咖啡? 太好了那是什么?乡村俱乐部的每日公报我妈寄来通知有人要订婚了噢,我的天!是巴瑞和明蒂巴瑞，你几乎...巴瑞，我几乎...明蒂，你的伴娘明蒂，我的伴娘我看看那是明蒂?真漂亮她真幸运…有你这样的朋友马修，拿饭给我，快…真乖，谢谢他终于能分辨”拿来”和”尿在”的差别了瑞秋,怎么啦?抱歉，我真是太笨了是我不要巴瑞的我应该为他们高兴我真为他们高兴真的?不如果我和别人在一起就不同了你不是说要忘了那段感情不再和男人在一起厌恶男人吗?我不知道我想这不是没有男人的问题而是合适男人的问题和巴瑞在一起安全自在没有激情和保罗在一起就充满激情be the one who...(Enter the other four)Monica: Hi.Ross: ...Gets interrupted. Hi!Rachel: Hi, how was the movie?Monica: Wonderful!Phoebe: So good!Joey: Suck-fest.Chandler: Toootal chick-flick.Phoebe:I-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, y'know, guns and bombs and, like, buses going really fast...Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.Monica: There was nudity!Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.Monica and Phoebe: Hugh! Hugh Grant!Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.Chandler: They're still just friends, right?Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.Monica: Oh, hang on, hang on. Does Aunt Monica get a say in this? Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.[Scene: Joe-G's Pizza, the guys are there.]Chandler: I can't believe we are even having this discussion. Joey: I agree. I'm, like, in disb elief.Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?Ross:I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.Joey: She really said that?Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight. Joey: 'Tonight' tonight?Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should t ake her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]Rachel:Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, 如野兽般原始的性爱好了，我懂，我看过你们两个在一起的样子你认为我能两者同时拥有吗?找到一个能当知己又能让我感受到激情的人?是呀,我也这么认为.其实说来好笑时常你认为无法让你感受到激情的人却是…被打断了电影如何?很不错很不错逊毙了根本是小妞们看的嘛真遗撼这不是枪林弹雨公车速度奇快的那种电影暴力并不能吸引我只要有裸体镜头我就满足了那电影也有裸体镜头我是指女生的裸体镜头我不爱看卢葛兰的春宫休葛兰我得走了走吧，马修，快我们去洗澡对不对?对他们只是朋友吗?明天见对，你明天要到瑞秋阿姨家等等，摩阿姨能说句话吗?摩阿姨请说别紧张了，你不会在这儿的我无法相信我们竟在讨论此事我同意，我也无法相信你不认为如果你和瑞秋会爱情产生的话还会一直拖到现在吗?告诉你，她说她在寻找像我这样的人她真的这样说?”像我这样”是我自己加的她说她在寻找某人而此人今晚就会出现今天晚上?这样最好不过了因为只有我们两个she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]Joey: How could you lose him?Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-Monica: Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?Rachel: I don't know. The left one.Monica: Which ones?Rachel: Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.Phoebe: (Entering) Hey.All: Hi.Phoebe: Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative? Chandler: Rachel lost Marcel.Phoebe: Oh no, how?Monica: He- he pooped in my shoe.Phoebe: Which one?Monica: Those cute little black ones I wear all the time. Phoebe: No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...Rachel: C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do? Joey:Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?Chandler:Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.Rachel: Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me!Monica: Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.Rachel: Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.(They all leave) 她整天都在照顾我的猴子我早已忘记哪个女人照顾过我的猴子总之下班后我要去买瓶酒去向她”示爱”知道你该怎么做吗?带她回到用”示爱”的十九世纪去如果你继续这样我发誓这星期内你就可以和这个浑蛋结束围羽毛围巾的是法博土她曾是个男人出现了蕾文我们讨厌她真高兴她就快死了什么?马修，想玩摩妮卡的鞋吗?你不能玩…马修，你在鞋里大便?天啊，坏猴子抱歉，巴瑞，订婚礼物我相信你没登记谁死了?翻过去不是崔斯勒马修?因为…马修…你怎会把它弄丢了呢?天晓得我正在看电视它在摩妮卡的鞋内大便它在我的鞋里大便?我不知道，左脚哪一双?搭配什么都好看的阿米许鞋为何一片愁云惨雾?瑞秋把马修弄丢了不会吧，怎么丢的?它在我鞋里大便哪个?我常穿的那只黑鞋是哪一只?左脚还右脚?因为左脚是幸运鞋大家快想办法我们该怎么办?有了，如果你是只猴子迷失在大城市时你会去哪儿?这是它第一次出门所以大概和一般游客一样我去百老汇找.Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!Ross: You called Animal Control?Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?Ross:Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me. Rachel: O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that... Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!(A knock on the door. Rachel swiftly opens it)Rachel: Hi, thanks for coming.Luisa: (Animal Control) Somebody called about a monkey?Rachel:Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light) Ross: Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't. Rachel: Turned out it was a hat.Ross: Cat!Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!(Luisa nods, but then Monica and Phoebe run in)Monica: Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.Luisa: Marcel?Ross: My uncle Marcel.Phoebe: Oh, is that who the monkey's named after?Luisa:Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal?Phoebe: Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail? Monica:Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.Luisa: Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!Rachel: Yeah!Luisa: Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room!Rachel: Luisa? Oh my Go d! Monica! It's Luisa!Monica: The Luisa from home room!Rachel: Yes!!Luisa: You have no idea who I am, do you.Monica: No, none at all.Rachel: None.Luisa: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me.I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?Monica: Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!Luisa: Ah, it's not so much you, you were fat, you had your own 我只是麻烦你别让它跑出去我知道，对不起不，我该负一半的责任我不该叫你照顾猴子应该叫你照顾笔才对罗斯，我已尽最大的努力我已叫大家分头去找是谁?动物控制中心.瞧，我甚至打给动物控制中心你打给动物控制中心?怎么了?你不喜欢他们?马修是非法的外来动物我是非法饲养万一被他们找到他们就会带走它你从来就没有告诉大家没错，因为我没想到你会请他们来谢谢你来有人遗失猴子?对，这是个误会我以为我们有养猴子但是我们没有结果是帽子猫猫猫，我刚说什么?我们问过三楼和四楼没人看见马修我叔叔马修那猴子是以你叔叔命名?你知道持有非法外来动物可判刑两年并没收动物?天啊，你要把猴子关进监牢?菲比，你记得如何先对自己小声说吗? 记得，但总不是时候.我相信我们能以友善的处理方式请坐首先，我们还没自己介绍我叫摩妮卡天啊，你是莫尼卡还有，你是瑞秋对吗?露莎，林肯高中我坐在你们后面露莎摩妮卡，是露莎是在后面那个?没错.你们根本不知道我是谁对不?Phoebe: Marcel?Monica: Marcel?Phoebe: Marcel?Both: Marcel?Phoebe: Oh-my-God!Monica: Whaaat!Phoebe: Something just brushed up against my right leg!Monica: What is it?Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.(Marcel makes a monkeyish noise. He is sitting in the corner) Monica: Look, Phoebe!Phoebe: Yeah! Oh, c'mer e, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere!(Luisa appears on the stairs)Luisa: Step aside, la dies! (She loads a gun)Monica: What're you gonna do?Luisa: Just a small tranquiliser.(In slow motion we see Phoebe look at Marcel, then at Luisa. She jumps toward Marcel just as Luisa fires the gun.)Monica:Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay? Phoebe: Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah. Monica: Oh gosh.[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.] Ross: Marcel?Rachel: Marcel?Ross:Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.Rachel:Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.Ross:Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...Rachel: Ross.Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...Rachel: Ross. 马修?马修?马修?噢,我的天有东西碰到我的右脚是什么?没什么，是我的左脚看，菲此马修，过来…站过去，两位小姐你要干什么?打镇定剂快跑,马修,快跑!你还好吧?还行.哦马修…这简直是太荒谬了我们到处都找遍了它不见了，就这么消失了罗斯，还不一定拜托，天气好冷天又黑它根本不认识路现在我的脚又受伤了猴子换来受伤的脚真的感谢你罗斯，我已向你道歉过无数次你到底要我怎么样?你到底想怎样?你也要我的脚受伤? 瞧，高兴了吧对，你踢完路标后我突然不再想念马修了我真的不是故意的当然，这是典型的瑞秋这种事常发生在你身上你活在自己的世界中完全无视于别人的猴子或是别人的感觉…罗斯我不想听罗斯罗斯搬香蕉的这下可好一边的屁股在睡觉另一边却毫无所知你有订香蕉吗?那是干吗的?还我的猴子.我没猴子Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?Rachel: Ross!Ross: What? What?(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)Both: Hey! Hey, Bananaman!(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ros s is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)Phoebe:Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.(Mr. Heckles opens the door)Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?Mr. Heckles: What about it?Ross: Gimme back my monkey.Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.Rachel: Then what's with all the bananas?Mr. Heckles: Potassium.(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)Ross:Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel? (Marcel jumps into view wearing a pink dress. Everybody gasps) Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey. Th at's Patti, Patti the monkey. Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)Luisa:(Out of shot) Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha. Ross: Okay, gimme my monkey back.Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey.Luisa: You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge. Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.Ross: Alright, I want my monkey.Luisa: No!Rachel: Oh, c'mon, Luisa!Luisa: Sorry, prom queen.Ross:(To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!Luisa: Nope. 干嘛买一箱香蕉?补充钾马修?它在哪儿?马修?它在哪儿?马修你对它怎么了?这是我的猴子，它叫佩蒂你疯了不成过来，马修…过来，佩蒂猴子过来…总算逮到你了把我的猴子还给我那是我的猴子你们到法官面前去争吧那不是我的猴子只有衣服是我的随时可以送回来我要我的猴子露莎，拜托抱歉了，舞会皇后你高中时干嘛那么贱为何不当个胖妹?在学校我是舞会皇后返校皇后和班代你也在场如果你把猴子带走我将失去我生命中重要的人你可以恨我请别折磨他此时你有机会成为大人物把握机会吧不那么我只好告诉你的长官你在我朋友的屁股上开了一枪终于能脱去这件衣服或是这样也不错配上鞋就是完整的一套抱歉，我对你这么凶不，这都是我的错我差点…不，它也是你找回来的你做得很好那瓶酒还在有心情喝杯葡萄酒吗?好呀.很好隔壁一定在用吸尘器只要我们在这儿不谈那个话题我在想我们刚刚实在是恶言相向Rachel: Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart? [Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine. Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your... Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?Rachel: That'd be good.Ross:Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um... (Barry bursts in)Barry: Rachel.Rachel: Barry?!Barry: I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.Ross and Rachel: Oh!Ross: We have got to start locking that door!Closing Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids? Phoebe: Nope.Monica: That's because I'm in front of them.Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.Monica: Well, high school was not my favourite time.Joey: I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.Chandler:Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice. Monica: Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?Phoebe:Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My b utt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!End 大概是因为我们…瑞秋我办不到我无法和明蒂结婚我想我爱的人依然是你我们得开始锁门了这是演”真善美”的我看见范崔普的孩子吗?没有因为我挡在他们前面我以为那是阿尔卑斯山我的高中时代并不如意我爱高中,知道吗?那只是.四年的舞会，约会和做爱是吗?我上住宿的学校和四百个男孩子每次做爱都是一次生活方式的重大抉择天啊，那不是回到史前时代?我的屁股醒了。

110 The One With the Monkey猴子[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.各位我想介绍一个人给大家认识(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)All: Oooh!Monica: W-wait. What is that? 等等…这是怎么回事?Ross: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?他叫马修,想和他打声招呼?Monica: No, no, I don't. 不,我不要Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?他好可爱,哪里得到他的?Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.我朋友贝瑟把它从实验室救出来的Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?真残忍，为何有父母会将孩子取名为圣地(贝瑟)?Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!那猴子的屁股上长了个罗斯Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?罗斯,它要和你同住吗?Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...对,卡萝离开後家里冷清清的Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate?为何不找个室友?Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.人到一定的年纪后与室友同住是有点可悲(pathet)…抱歉,是pathet，在梵语中代表很酷的生活方式Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.各位,我今天将唱全新的曲目，我写了12首关于我妈自杀的歌，及一首有关雪人的歌Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.你最好先唱雪人(Enter Joey)All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.Monica: So, how'd it go? 如何?Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. -我没得到那份工作Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.你怎可能会没得到?你是去年的圣诞老人Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.不知道哪个胖子和店经理有一腿，他根本无法逗人开心,这就是政治Monica: So what are you gonna be? 那么你扮演什么?Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?当他的助手，就像是脸上的一个巴掌,你明白的?(真是耻辱)Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (Theyall protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?你们打算如何过新年? 什么?新年有什么不对劲吗?Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!你有保罗.无须面对新年带来的压力，无须急着寻找有嘴唇的生物，便于在球落下那一刻有个亲嘴的对象，哦,我说得太大声了!Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.保罗新年时会在罗马，所以我将和各位一样可悲Phoebe: Yeah, you wish! 想得美Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.我有个主意,聚餐，不错,我们可以把它放在午饭和早饭之间，我不想再听到迪克拉克的疲劳轰炸，我说今年,我们约定.只有我们6个共进晚餐All: Yeah, okay. Alright.Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.我希望大家能更开心点All: Woooo! Yeah!Rachel: Phoebe, you're on. 菲比,该上台了Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back bypopular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!各位,回应大家要求，菲比布费小姐Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)首先的这首歌在这种时节令我感慨万分I made a man with eyes of coalAnd a smile so bewitchin',How was I supposed to knowThat my mom was dead in the kitchen?(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...我做了一个人,眼睛是煤炭做的，他有谜样的微笑，我如何能承受，母亲死在厨房的事实，(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)Phoebe: (Sung)...My mother's ashesEven her eyelashesAre resting in a little yellow jar,And sometimes when it's breezy...母亲的骨灰，甚至是她的睫毛，都安放在一个黄色的小骨灰坛，当有时天寒地冻，(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)Phoebe: (Sung)...I feel a little sneezyAnd now I- (abruptly stops)Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?我感觉有点想打啧涕，如今我…抱歉,吵闹的男人，有什么想和大家分享的吗? Max: No. No, that's- that's okay. 没.没,没事Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear! 如果有事如此重要你们非在我唱歌时谈论，那就重要的足以与我们分享Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!那家伙铁定会带着一本注意事项回家去David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-我是告诉我朋友…Phoebe: Could you speak up please? 大声点行吗?David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought 抱歉,我，我告诉我朋友：你是我见过最漂亮的女孩Max: Daryl Hannah. 他说黛瑞汉娜…David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a黛瑞汉娜是他见过最美的女人，我说我喜欢“美人鱼”中的她，但“华尔街”就没那么喜欢了，她没那种硬派气质，Max: Hard quality.David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down)黛瑞汉娜是传统的美，而你散发出高雅的气质，然后你就叫我们了Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table) 休息片刻Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note!那小伙得到得远不止注意事项了啊(抱得美人归)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]Ross: Come here, Marcel. Sit here. (Marcel wanders off)过来,马修,坐这儿Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both mybreasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?拜托,没想到他还没亲你，我第6次和保罗约会时，他就为我的双峰取了名字，我分享太多了吗?Ross: Just a smidge. 一点点Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.大卫是个科学家,做事一丝不苟Monica: I think it's romantic. 我认为这很浪漫Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?我也这么想! 你们看过军官与绅士吗?Rachel: Yeah!Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... andspecial occasions...他就是我心目中的白马王子，除了他更聪明,温柔体贴，我只想整天和他厮守在一起，不管是白天或夜晚,还是夜晚或白天，还有特别的日子Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going,you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.等等,我知道了，你邀他共渡新年,对不? 她想抛弃我们Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just?不…对,我可以…Chandler: Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice.好吧,因为我已约了珍妮丝Monica: What?! 什么?Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!这是一个约定!这是你们的约定!Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped. 我耐不住寂寞,我毁约了Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup inhistory!可是珍妮丝…你们的分手不是糟透了?Chandler: I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm saying I snapped!我没说这是个好主意,我毁约了[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]Joey: Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late. 抱歉,我迟到了(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey!滑稽了，快取笑乔伊Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)鞋子正点吧Chandler: Aah, y'killing me!(Marcel knocks over some kitchen tools)Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!罗斯,它又玩我的铲子Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?它又不会玩坏的Monica: Do you always have to bring him here?你非得每次都带它来不可吗?Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our firstfight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...我不想留下他一个人?我们早上才吵了一架，一定是我加班惹的祸我说了不该说的话，它就朝我扔一坨屎Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.如果你必须加班,我可以替你照顾它Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.这太好了，如果你去照顾它, 要装成一付去找它的样子，不能让它知道你是在帮我忙Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.好,但它如果问起我可就要直话直说了[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]David: ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions.但我们仍无法测试这个理论，因为今日粒子加速的速度，仍无法模拟出这样的情况Phoebe: Okay, alright, I have a question, then.好,我有个问题David: Yuh.Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?你打算亲我吗?David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.这是个正当而合理的问题答案是…答案是…是的.对,我曾想过但我要让这非凡的吻…发生在非凡的时刻,因为是你Phoebe: Sure. 当然David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.但等得越久亲吻就越非凡，而在此时此地,我想…扫去桌上的一切,将你丢在上面，但我不是会扫去一切,那种猴急的男人Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.大卫,我想你是，你是被困在物理学家体内的猛男David: Rrrreally. 真的?Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.没错,我确定，你应该解放出来,把我丢上去吧David: ...Now? Now? 现在?Phoebe: Oh yeah, right now. 对,现在David: Okay, okay, okay. (Gets ready to sweep, and then picks up a laptop computer) Y'know what, this was just really expensive. (Puts itdown elsewhere. Then picks up a microscope) And I'll take- this was a gift. (Moves it)好.好.好，这东西很贵的，这个是人家送的Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.你在清理场地?David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?好吧,管他的，你想让我丢上去还是自己跳上去?Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table) 我自己跳好了(They kiss, finally)[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?告诉我,“没有约会的约定”对你们有何意义?Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.钱德有对象,菲比也有对象，所以我约了搞笑巴比Chandler: Fun Bobby? Your ex-boyfriend Fun Bobby?搞笑巴比?你的前任男友搞笑巴比?Monica: Yeah.Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?你还认识其他的搞笑巴比?Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.我认识搞笑巴伯Rachel: (Brings Joey a mug of coffee) Okay, here we go...Joey: Ooh ooh ooh ooh, there's no room for milk!太满了,我没法加牛奶了Rachel: (Glances at Joey and then sips his coffee) There. Now there is. 好了,这下可以了Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.所以在这个没有约会的晚上,三人另有节目Joey: Uh, four. 四人Ross: Four.Rachel: Five. 五人Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)Rachel: Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.抱歉,保罗提早搭飞机回来Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?而我在商场遇上—个火辣辣的单亲妈妈，我这个小精灵怎能抗拒?Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?这么说球落下那一刻，我是唯一一个孤零零的家伙?Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.我们将举行盛大的派对，而且没人知道到底知道谁和谁Ross: Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now.我知道,而且这不是我现在需要知道的Monica: What's the matter? 你怎么了?Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...都是马修，它生我的气了，我不知道为什么它一直不让我进门，它拖着双手不断绕圈子Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night. 真是诡异我前几天晚上还跟它相处愉快Ross: Really. 真的?Chandler: Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing.我们一起玩,看电视杂耍那一部份真是太精彩了Ross: What, uh... what juggling thing? 什么杂耍?Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.拿袜子当球耍,我以为是你教它的Ross: No.Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...这也不算什么,只是拿袜子罢了，还有一颗香瓜(Max runs in)Max: Phoebe. Hi.Phoebe: Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody?马克斯,认识大家吗?Max: No. Have you seen David?不认识,你看见大卫吗?Phoebe: No, no, he hasn't been around.没有,他没在这儿Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.看见他时告诉他快打包,我们要去明斯克Phoebe: Minsk? 明斯克?Max: Minsk. It's in Russia. 在苏联Phoebe: I know where Minsk is. 我知道明斯克在哪儿Max: We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid.我们已申请到奖助金，全额赞助我们三年Phoebe: So when, when do you leave? 你们何时去明斯克Max: January first. 元旦(新年第一天)Commercial Break[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door] Phoebe: Hello? 有人吗?David: Hey!Phoebe: Hi.David: Hi! (Kisses her) What-what're you doing here?你来这儿干什么?Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!马克斯告诉我明克斯的事了，恭喜了,真叫人兴奋Max: It'd be even more exciting if we were going.能去的话会更叫人兴奋Phoebe: Oh, you're not going? (Fake disappointed voice) Oh, why?你不去了?为什么?Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifsonand Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' (Storms out)告诉她,“我不打算去…” …去和李本斯亚马古基与法朗克共事，我要留下来和我的女友培养感情David: Thank you, Max. Thank you. 够了,马克斯,谢谢Phoebe: So-so you're really not going? 你真的不去?David: I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just- you decide. 我也不知道,我只是…我不知道.你决定Phoebe: Oh don't do that. 别这样David: Please. 我是在求你Phoebe: Oh no no.David: No, but I'm asking-Phoebe: Oh, but I can't do that-我不能那么做David: No, but I can't-Phoebe: It's your thing, and-David: -make the decision-Phoebe: Okay, um, stay. 留下来David: Stay.Phoebe: Stay.(He thinks for a moment and sweeps the stuff off the table)Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)你进步神速啊!David: It was Max's stuff. (They kiss)这是麦克斯的东西[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)我喜欢菊芋，别告诉我里面是什么，我明天才开始节食Chandler: You remember Janice. 记得珍妮丝?Monica: Vividly. 历历在目(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)Monica: Hi.Sandy: Hi, I'm Sandy.Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids. 你把孩子都带来了Sandy: Yeah. That's okay, right? 对,可以吗?(Joey and Monica look at each other and shrug. Ross enters with Marcelon his shoulder)Ross: Par-tay!Monica: That thing is not coming in here. 这东西不可以进来Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?东西?你都这样招呼客人吗? 我问你,如果我带着新女友来，你也不欢迎她进来? Monica: I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.你的新女友不会尿在我的咖啡桌上Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? Andfor him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened... 它已经够难为情了,行吗? 它已鼓足勇气回到这里，就当一切都没发生过一样Monica: Alright. Just keep him away from me.好,叫它离我远点就是了Ross: Thank you. (She walks off) C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? (Marcel runs off) Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later.谢谢.来,马修，咱们去交际一下吧，好吧,待会儿见(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look) Monica: Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey.. are you okay? Where-where's Paolo?天啊,瑞秋,你没事吧? 保罗在哪儿?Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.罗马.那混蛋没赶上飞机Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?然后你的脸就爆炸了?Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?不是，我在机场要进入计程车时，一个带着一本书的金发女人，开始对我大叫,说是她先拦到的，然后她就开始扯我的头发，我拿出口哨猛吹，结果又来了三辆计程车，我要进入车时,她又展开攻击，结果我撞上了马路牙子，嘴唇被口中的哨子弄伤，大家玩得还愉快吧? -有人吃我的泡菜吗[Time lapse. Monica and Rachel, fixed up somewhat, emerge from a bedroom] Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probablythe first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.我上周在商场看见你时，那或许是我第一次想像裸体的小精灵Joey: Wow, that's, uh, dirty. 真淫荡Sandy: Yeah.(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them) Joey: Hey, kids...Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.我没说他得整晚和我待在一起，但至少也得来问候一声Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!原来你在这儿，你从我身边逃跑了Chandler: (Imitating) But you found me! 但又被你逮到了Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!罗斯,帮我们照一张，笑一个,你在珍妮丝的相机中了Chandler: Kill me. Kill me now. 杀了我吧,现在就杀了我(Someone else knocks on the door. Monica looks through the spyhole) Monica: Hey everybody! It's Fun Bobby! 各位,搞笑巴比来了(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, sohere I am!抱歉,我迟到了.我祖父他，他在两小时前过世了，明天才有飞机,所以我来了Joey: (Approaching) Hey Fun Bobby! Whoah! Who died?搞笑巴比,近来可好?谁死了?(Monica gestures wildly behind Fun Bobby's back)[Time lapse. Bobby is talking about his grandfather. Everyone else is virtually in tears]Fun Bobby: It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again.他棺材将暂时不盖上，所以我至少可以再见他最后一面Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.我要在上面哈口气,然后写上“破镜重圆”Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-珍妮丝,够了，珍妮丝…珍妮丝…珍妮丝,我邀你来并不代表我们…Janice: Oh, no. Oh, no. 哦，不…Chandler: I'm sorry you misunderstood... 抱歉,让你误会了Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)你听我说…你听我说…这可能是你我最后一次共处了，(Ross is still taking photos)Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)那东西可以给我吗?(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)Phoebe: Hi, Max!Max: Yoko. (To David) I've decided to go to Minsk without you.我决定自己去明斯克了David: Wow.Max: It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy NewYear.(Walks off)少了你将不太一样…但明斯克还是明斯克新年快乐Phoebe: Are you alright? 你还好吧?David: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. 没事,我没事,我没事(Phoebe leads David into a bedroom)Phoebe: You're going to Minsk. 你去明克斯吧David: No, I'm... not going to Minsk. 不,我不去了Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.你一定要去明斯克，你属于明斯克你不能因为我而留下来David: Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you.如果我走,就代表我必须与你分手，但我不能和你分手.Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.是的,你可以的，只用说,“菲比,我爱你, 但是工作是我的生命” “这是我必须做的.” 然后我说,“你的工作?你竟说出这种话?” 接着你说,“我没有选择. 难道你不了解吗?” 我说,“不!不!我不了解!”David: Uh, ow.Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then youtell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.对不起，然后你抱住我…然后你抱住我…然后你对我说你爱我，你永远不会忘记我David: I'll never forget you. 我永远不会忘记你Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.你又说现在已接近午夜,你必须走了。

116 The One With Two Parts, part 1[Scene: Ri ft’s Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]Chandler: This is unbelievable. It’s been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, you’d be looking like a ham right about now. (Ursu la Buffay, Phoebe’s identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)Joey: There’s the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)Chandler: It’s Phoebe! Hi!(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now I’m here.Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?Ursula: Right, yeah, ’cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.Chandler: Can we start over?Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. I’m gonna be over here. (She wanders away.) Chandler & Joey: No, no, no!Opening Credits[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]Ross: I don’t know whether he’s testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident.Rachel: No, yeah, I’ve done that.Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.Rachel: I’ve never done that.(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shop’s sign—a large steaming cup of coffee.)Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesn’t look exactly like her sister.Joey: I’m sayin’ I see a difference.Chandler: They’re twins!Joey: I don’t care. Phoebe’s Phoebe. Ursula’s... hot!(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?Joey: Yeah.Chandler: Let’s not do that any more.116 双胞胎两部曲（一）真是令人难以置信已过了半个小时如果这是卡通你应该看起来像火腿一样女侍在那儿抱歉，小姐…等等是菲比!嗨好的。