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Monica,that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever.It was so good. I think you killed us.I couldn't possibly eat another bite.I need something sweet.Does anyone want to watch TV?Monica,your remote doesn't work.You have to lift it and point.Oh,forget it.Let's play that game where everyone says one thing they're thankful for.I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.Very nice.The other day, I was at the bus stop......and this lovely fall breeze came and blew this chick's skirt up. Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs.The One with the Thanksgiving Flashbacks17It's amazing......how much they can do with so little material.And they play with your mind. Is it there? Is it not there?Are you aware that you're still talking?Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?I don't know. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction?And I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.I'm sorry. This is the worst Thanksgiving ever.I am the king of bad Thanksgivings.You can't swoop in with your bad marriage and take that away from me.You're not going to tell about your parents' divorce again,are you? Come on! I want to hear it.It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out.It's a tradition,like the parade.If the parade decided it was gay and abandoned its family.33...just because we're getting a divorce......doesn't mean we don't love you.It just means......he would rather sleep with the houseboy than with me.More turkey,Mr. Chandler?Every time you tell that story, that guy's accent gets thicker and thicker. So are he and your dad still together?No. After they got their own place, the houseboy got his own houseboy. Should have heard his accent.You're right,yours is worse. You're the king of bad Thanksgivings.I've got one that's worse.Really? Worse than, "More turkey,Mr. Chandler?"Did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler?Yes,mine's worse!“1862年感恩节”More bandages!More bandages!Please,can I get some more bandages in here?This man isOh，noIn this life,Phoebe.Oh,this life. Oh,okay.No,Chandler's is worse.It must be cool remembering stuff like that.I don't have any past-life memories.Of course,you don't,sweetie. You're brand-new.I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.Let's not tell this story.I know!It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head. Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?It's not like it sounds.It's exactly like it sounds.“1992年感恩节”菲比？What's going on?你看Oh,my God!I know!It's stuck!Step.How did it get on?I put it on to scare Chandler.Oh,my God! Monica's going to totally freak out!Help me get it off!Plus,it smells really bad in here.Of course it smells bad. You have your head up a dead animal's ass. 是摩妮卡Did you get the turkey?Oh,my God!Who is that?It's Joey.Is this supposed to be funny?It's not supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be scary.Get that off now!I can't. It's stuck!It has to feed 20 people. They're not going to eat it off your head! Hold on.Let's just all think.I got it!You pull.I'll spread the legs as wide as I can.Now is not the time. Sorry.Count to three. One......two......three!It worked! I scared you! I knew it!I'm here,big guy.Yeah,you are!I scared you!You did look like an idiot.I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot.Remember when Ross tried to say "butternut squash"......and it came out, "squatternut bosh"?Yeah,that's the same.That's it. That's my worst Thanksgiving.That can't be the one Rachel meant.She didn't even know that happened.So,what's yours?I really don't want to tell this story.Reliving pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving's all about. For me,anyway.And,of course,the lndians.Of all people,you do not want me to tell this story.What is that supposed to mean?119Happy Thanksgiving!Not for me.Chip and I broke up.Why?What happened?My parents are out of town, and Chip was going to come over.And you were going to give him......your "flower."Monica,can you just call it sex?It really creeps me out when you call it that.And by the way......while we're at it,a guy's thing is not called his "tenderness."Believe me.Happy Thanksgiving.天哪Everyone......this is Chandler.My roommate......and lead singer of our band.罗斯This is Monica.I'm Ross' little sister.好I'm so glad you could come.We've got plenty of food, so I hope you're hungry.Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.I'm so glad you brought him here.I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.As long as the Pilgrims didn't eat it.Damn it!Does it feel weird around here now?You know,since I've been away at college?那倒不会That's cool.那你…So that's Rachel,the girl you've been writing all those songs about?Might want to rethink the lyrics to "She Feels Weird Since I've Been Gone."I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson!I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs. His begging days are over,now that he's with Nancy Branson.I've just had it with high-school boys.They're just silly.They're just silly,stupid boys.I'll start dating men.I'm sorry,Judy.I couldn't find that bowl you and Jack were looking for.Call them Mom and Dad,you loser.摩妮卡钱德Did you like the macaroni and cheese?It was great. You should be a chef.好啊Guess what.All this stuff about Nancy being a slut was all a rumor.Chip dumped her,and he wants to come over to my house!-That is so great! -I know.Oh,gosh. Listen, if you and Chip do it tonight......promise me you'll tell me everything.Totally. It's not that big a deal. We already kind of did it once.But now you'll definitely know whether or not you did it.I know.And Chip promised that this time it'd last at least for an entire song. I'm thinking of asking Rachel out tonight......maybe playing her that song we wrote last week."Emotional Knapsack"? Yes. Right on!But don't take long. We're testing our fake lD's tonight. Right,Clifford Alvarez?Listen,Roland Cheng......if things go well, I may be out with her all night.Dude,don't do that to me.It's cool,you can stay here. My parents won't mind.It's not that. I just don't want to be stuck here with your fat sister. Why don't you finish off these pies?I don't have any more room in the fridge.No,thank you.Judy,you did it.She's finally full!I called you fat?-I don't even remember that. -Maybe it'd jog your memory... ...if you guys played a little bit of "Emotional Knapsack."I'm so sorry. I really am.I was an idiot back then.I rushed the stage at a Wham concert, for crying out loud!I can't believe you called her fat.I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.I am really sorry.That is terrible. I'm so sorry.That's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.Yes,it was.No,it was actuallyThanksgiving's over. Let's get ready for Christmas.I have the cutest Christmas story.We want to hear Monica's story.Mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but,you know,whatever. 221I had to.There was never any parking by the psychology building.瑞秋Love your new nose! Jack.What？ Dr. Wolfson's an artist.He removed my mole cluster.Want to see?No! Please,let me.Happy Thanksgiving.Your hair sure is different.We were just talking about that.We can't believe how stupid we used to look.Where's Monica?She's upstairs.Come down,everyone's here!Ross,Rachel......and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.钱德Oh,my God!What's the matter?Is there something on my dress?You look so different.Terrific.That dress,that body....-Dude! -Sorry.Yes,she's thin. It's wonderful.But we really want to hear......about Ross' new girlfriend.Her name is Carol.She's really pretty and smart.She's on the lacrosse team and the golf team.Can you believe it?She plays for both teams.So I guess I'll see you at dinner.-Dude! -Sorry.Oh,my God!That was so awesome.You got him back for calling you fat.He was drooling all over you.-That must have felt so great. -lt didn't.What？Yeah,I mean,I look great.I feel great,and my heart's not in trouble anymore.I just don't feel like I got him back.I just want to humiliate him.I want him to be naked,and I want to point at him and laugh. That,we may be able to do.How?Guys tend to get naked before they're going to have sex. What?I didn't work this hard and lose weight......just so I could give my flower to someone like him.First of all,if you keep calling it that, no one will take it.And then second of all, you're not going to have sex with him. You'll just make him think that you are.也对I'll throw him out in the yard,lock the door......and all our neighbors will just humiliate him!You'll definitely get him back.How do I make him think I want to have sex?Here's what you do.Just act like everything around you turns you on.What do you mean?Anything can be sexy.Like this dish towel.This feels so good against my cheek.And if I get a little hot, I can just dab myself with it.Or I can bring it down to my side and run it through my fingers... ...while I talk to him.I can do that.Good,good,good.Get busy. He's coming.Hey,what's up?Could you make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year? I'd love to.I love macaroni and cheese.I love the way this box feels against my cheek.And I love carrots.Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers.Like this.And hold them down here while I talk to you.And,you know,if I get really hot......I like to pick up this knife.And I put the cool steel......against......my body.Are you all right?I'm fine. Just...Twenty-year-old male.He's got a severed toe on his right foot.Could you please not do that feet first?You know where his injury is. Severed toe,you just said it!It says the knife went through your shoe.They're made of wicker!Did you bring the toe?I have it right here on ice.Toes on Ice,coming soon to Madison Square Garden.Save your strength,man.Don't worry,son. We'll just reattach it and then....What is it?You brought a carrot.This isn't your toe. This is a small, very cold piece of carrot. You brought a carrot?Oh,my God!There's a toe in my kitchen.I'm sorry! I'll go get it!All we can do now is sew up the wound.Without my toe? I need my toe!I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche.I'm not falling for that one.That's why I lost my toe? Because I called you fat?I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps-a-lot? I'm sorry.It wasn't your whole toe.Yeah,well,I miss the tip.It's the best part.It has the nail.钱德Sir Limps-a-lot.I came up with that.You're a dork.-I can't believe this. -I said I was sorry."Sorry" doesn't bring back the piggy that cried all the way home. It figures that something like this would happen today.I hate this stupid day and everything about it!I'll see you later.Wait.Come here.Is there anything I can do? Anything?Just leave me alone for a little while.I'm a duck. I go quack-quack.I'm happy all the time.Nice try.Wait,wait,wait.Look,MonicaThis is not going to work.I bet this will work.You're so great.I love you.什么？Nothing. I said you're so great, and then I just stopped talking. You said you loved me. I can't believe this!No,I didn't!Yes,you did!No,I didn't!You love me!No,I don't!Stop it,stop it,stop it!“1915年感恩节”Gauze!Gauze!I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some more gauze? This is getting ridiculous.384。
Guys! Guys! I've got great news. Guess what.- Monica's pregnant! - Really?Let's get past the moment.- What's your news? - Thank you.I got a job in advertising.Honey, that's incredible!Gosh, what's the pay like?Oh, come on, people.If I don't know who makes the most..how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey.It pays nothing. It's an internship.We have interns at Days of Our Lives.Right. So it'll be the same, except less sex with you.What do you think they'll have you do there?It's a training program, but they hire the people they like.- That's great! - There's gonna be some grunt work..which will stink. A grown man getting people coffee is humiliating. Humiliating and noble.Thank you.You know, if I didn't already have a job..I would've been good in advertising.Ross, you did not come up with: "Got Milk?"Yes, I did! I did!I should've written it down.The One With The Mugging26And I smelled bacon.- He just left. - Who did?Joey, you're never gonna believe it! She called!- She did? - You got it!- I did? - What is she talking about?I don't know, but it sounds great!Your agent called. You got that audition!- With Leonard Hayes? - Yes!Oh, my God, that is great! It's for a play on Broadway.And in a real theater. Not that little one underneath the deli like last time. - Is it a good play? - It must be.I read it and didn't understand a single word!- Leonard Hayes is starring in it. - Yeah, and directing.He was so good in that movie of Macbeth.- You saw that? - No, but I saw the previews.They played it right before Jackass.- He's done some amazing work. - Oh, yeah.I loved him in those phone commercials.When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone.. Maybe the monkey will be at the audition.Don't make me more nervous than I already am!- Good morning. - Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?Oh, no, no. I'm an intern, just like you guys.Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car. Seriously, you're an intern?I'm heading in a new career direction and you gotta start at the bottom.Dude.I know I'm a little older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope.The comedian. USO.It's U.S.A., sir.This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers.And as you probably already know, this is Leonard Hayes.It is so amazing to meet you. I am such a big fan of your work.I've been blessed with a lot of great roles.Tell me about it, huh? "Unlimited nights and weekends!"Are you making fun of me? Because I am not a sellout.I didn't do it for money. I believe in those phones!I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.No, I wasn't making fun of you. I think you were great in those commercials. - Really? - Yeah.Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role.Are you kidding? When they shoot you out of that cannon.."Hang up that phone!"- One take. - Wow.- So shall we read? - Oh, yeah, sure.Top of Act 2. This is my entrance. You got it?What the hell are you still doing here?- I think you know. - Bastard!I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.- Go! Go! - I can't.Oh, I want to, Long Pause..but I can't.So sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause."Oh! Oh, I thought that was your character's name. You know?I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the.. No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it. Thank you. You don't want me to do it again?- I could do an accent. - No.You know, Southern. "l could go right now, mon!" Huh?My God in heaven.Joey, hang on. Leonard, can we talk to you for a moment?Yes? You've got to be kidding. He can't act.I don't care if you think he's hot.If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play.If you insist on this..I will call my agent so fast..on a cell phone connection so clear, he's gonna think I'm next door! Hi, thank you so much for whispering for my benefit.Tell me what I did wrong. I'd love to work on it and try it again for you. And also, how you doing?Give me another chance. I really want to get better. Please?If you want to come back today..- here are my notes. Ready? - Yeah.- You're in your head. Thinking too much. - I really doubt that.No, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body. There's no urgency. The scene is a struggle.It's a race. Also, what you did was horizontal.Don't be afraid to explore the vertical.And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you.Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?我快不行了，快爆炸了Hey, do you want to go to dinner tonight?I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katie.I know we've only gone out, like, twice, but I don't know..- I have a good feeling about her. - Oh, I hear divorce bells.Give me your wallets, and there won't be a problem.- What? - I have a gun.Okay, relax, Phoebe. Just stay calm.Oh, my God, I can't find my wallet!- All right, lady, now give me your purse. - No.What do you mean "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay! - Lowell, is that you? - Phoebe?- Oh, my God! - Unbelievable! Oh, my God!I'm sorry. Ross, this is my old friend, Lowell, from the streets!- Lowell, Ross. - Ross, nice to meet you.Yeah, a real pleasure.It's been so long! Oh, so long.- I can't believe you're still doing this. - I know. But I quit smoking. Good for you.You look like you're doing well.I guess your mugging days are behind you.Oh, my God. Phoebe, you used to mug people?Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up.- How'd the audition go? - They want to see me again, but..Leonard Hayes did not like me.- What happened? - He said I wasn't urgent enough.Everything I did was horizontal, and I should be more vertical.- He said that I should think less. - Well, so far so good.Honey, I'm old!I didn't know you were coming home for lunch.- Can I get you anything? - Sure, a tube of Polident?Some Depends?Birthday wishes from Willard Scott.What's wrong?I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them. So you're a little older.Look at the positive. You have all this life experience.Yes, but I don't think life experience is gonna help me with these.Wow! It's like they're on fire!- What are they? - Prototype sneakers.I need ideas on how to sell them. Which I can't do..because no self-respecting adult would ever wear these.I'll give you $500 for them.- What am I supposed to do? - Come on, sneakers are easy.- You wear them all the time. - They're not called sneakers anymore. They're called "kicks" or "skids." I think I heard somebody say "slorps." They've got wheels that pop out from the bottom so you can roll around.. because apparently walking is too much exercise."Kids! Kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!"Kids today have such an easier time getting fat.Would you help me try to sell these?Okay. Have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?That's not what they're looking for.Hey, that would work on me.Why do you think I buy Mrs. Butterworth's?（中央咖啡厅）You'll never guess what just happened.- Phoebe and I got mugged! - Are you okay?Yeah. Phoebe knew the mugger.How do you know a mugger?I'm sorry, I have friends outside the six of us.Know how she knew him? Because Phoebe used to mug people. Seriously?Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know..when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff..- That is awful. - I wasn't rich like you guys, okay?I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony.I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.- Your mother killed herself. - She was a drug dealer.It was a good thing she knew him. I was about to do some serious damage. Okay.This must have brought back some bad memories for you, Ross.- Why? - Ross was mugged as a kid.- You were? - Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic.It was outside St. Mark's Comics.I was minding my business, seeing what kind of trouble Spider-Man was into.Wonder Woman.Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery..to pick up a couple of dozen linzer tortes for someone..when out of nowhere, this thug with a pipe jumps out and says:- "Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God.I know. And the worst part was, they took my backpack..which had all the original artwork I did for my own comic book, Science Boy. Oh, yeah! What was his super power again?A super-human thirst for knowledge.I better get to class.Are there any more of your friends I should look out for?No. Actually, you might want to stay away from Jane Street.That's where Stabby Joe works.- I think we have a problem here. - What?Back in my mugging days, I worked St. Mark's Comics.- Yeah? - A pipe was my weapon of choice..and preteen, comic-book nerds were my meat.So?There was one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said:- "Geology rocks!" - "Geology rocks!"- Oh, my God! - I know! I mugged Ross!- You're late. - I know. I'm sorry.But can I just run to the bathroom?- No. Leonard doesn't wait. - But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo!Joey, here we go! Let's go. Very quickly.- I really need.. - We must go now, quickly.- Yeah. Yes, sir. - Ready?- What the hell are you still doing here? - I think you know!- Oh, you sick bastard! - I am what you made me! Know what?- What? - I could go right now.- Then go. Go! - Oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!Cut. That was good!- Very good. You did everything I asked. - I did?Yes. Plus which, you've got this, I don't know, this squirmy quality..you bring to the character I couldn't have imagined.Here's what we're gonna do:Come back tomorrow for the final callbacks.Do all of this, what you got going now. But you know what?More. More. Can you do that?Sure. I don't have time to say thank you because I really gotta go!Look at that! Still in character. I like him.I plant seeds. I can't explain it. I don't know.- Hey. What are you doing? - Putting on the sneakers..to get in the young mindset, see if it sparks anything.- Oh, anything yet? - Yes, how's this?"They're so uncomfortable, it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet."-Hi! -Hi!You're probably wondering what I'm doing.No, that seems about right.Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee. Apparently, that makes me a good actor.I got a callback, so I'm drinking everything. Oh, by the way..that eggnog in our fridge was great!- Joey, that was formula. - We gotta get more of that.These aren't half bad. You should suggest these to Ralph Lauren. Okay, first of all, that's stupid. Second, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph. All right. I feel younger already.Yeah, I think I broke my hip.- Hey, you! - Hey.Hey. How was class?No one asks me that. What's wrong?- Nothing. I really want to know. - Oh.Well, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene.. All right, nothing is worth this.I have a confession to make.Okay, you know that girl that mugged you when you were a kid?What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.He had a pitchfork and a sword.You don't have to lie anymore. I know that it was a 14-year-old girl.- No, it wasn't. - Yes, it was.You don't think I would have defended myself against a 14-year-old..? - "Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God, it was you!I can't believe it. You mugged me?Yeah. And I'm so, so sorry, Ross. I'm sorry.But, you know, if you think about it, it's kind of neat.I mean, well, it's just that I've always felt kind of like an outsider.You know, the rest of you have connections that go way back..and, you know, now you and I have a great one.It's not the best!I know. Please forgive me. I don't know what to say.There's nothing you can say! That was the most humiliating thing ever.- Even more humiliating than.. - Let's not do this!And then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hot tub..and start making out with each other.That's interesting.Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes.Who's next? Chandler.You start with a guy putting on the shoes.- He's about my age. - Your age?He's rolling down the street and he starts to lose control.Maybe he falls. Maybe he hurts himself.Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes.He jumps over the old guy and laughs. And the line reads:"Not suitable for adults."- Well, Chandler, that's great. - Thank you, sir.Or, man who's two years younger than me.You see, that has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic.- How did you come up with that? - I don't know! I don't know!I was just trying to get into a young mindset, and stuff started to flow.- That is great. Good work. - Thank you.We'll see all of you tomorrow.The cold weather hurts my hip.Hey, Ross. I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a sec? Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry. Sure, go ahead.I just really wanted to apologize again.And also show you something I think you'll find very exciting.（街上的垃圾）Oh, my God! "Crap from the street!"Look, Ross. In this box..are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell..or smoke.Anyway, I was looking through it, and I found..Science Boy.Oh, my God!I never thought I'd see this again.It's all here!What made you save it all these years?I guess I just thought it was really good.And maybe it would be worth something one day.You really thought Science Boy was worth saving?Yeah. But you should know I also have a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here. Still, this is amazing!Oh, my God. Thank you, Phoebe.You're welcome. Thank you for Science Boy. I learned a lot from him.You're welcome.Wait a minute. Did you add something to him?Oh, yeah.You see, the way you drew him..there was no way he was ever gonna get Gravity Girl.He looked like a Ken doll in those tights.What's that? What are you..?"Is that a beaker or are you happy to see me?"I don't get it.- I need an answer! - I can't tell you something I don't know.- You know! - I don't know!- I need an answer now! - You want an answer? The answer is..She never loved me. She only loved you.You knew this all along and you never told me?I can never forgive you, or myself. I have nothing to live for. Bang! And scene! Absolutely amazing.- The part is yours. - Thanks! Now I really gotta go.No, wait! Congratulations! You did it.You did it. You can relax now. Yeah.Wow! That's a big cable bill.You don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn.On a Saturday afternoon?I was in the house!Hey. Phoebe didn't by any chance mention that..She was the huge guy that mugged you? Yeah.I see. You didn't happen to tell..- Everybody we know? Yeah. - Great. Thanks.。
-What are you guys doing up? -Finishing the crossword. Do you know a six-letter word for "red"?Dark red.Wrong, but there's a connect-the-dots in here for you later. Hey,how about maroon?Yes! You are so smart!You guys are so cute.I know.See you in the morning.I love doing crossword puzzles with you.Me too.Now let's finish this and go to bed.Only one left.Three-letter word. Not dog,but....Cat.You are so smart!I love you.I love you too.The One with the Coprainystar压制iPod-MP4We still need a tip.All right. Hold on.I got it.Nickel.-How much do we need? -Couple of bucks.Okay,dime.You guys keep talking. This could take a while.Wait,look it!This is a police badge!Cool. But why would a cop come in here? They don't serve doughnuts. Could you discover the badge again? I can do better than that.I bet somebody's missing that badge.I should take it back. But at the police station......I'll check their 10 Most Wanted List.My friend's been number 11 forever. This could be her year!-Hey,you guys. -Hey,Joey.Is that my sweatshirt?Yes,it is. I'm sorry. I was cold. I hope it's okay.It's just that if you wear someone's sweatshirt......shouldn't it be your boyfriend's?And I'm not him.I'm sorry. I'll give it back.It's gonna be all smelling like Monica.Do I smell bad?You smell like a meadow.I'm sorry.What's with him?The last time Joey went to a meadow his mother was shot by a hunter. Look what I found. It's a police badge.What's that doing here? I don't see any doughnuts.Cops and doughnuts. Come on.If Chandler had said it you'd all be on the floor.Cops, doughnuts? Me?I still don't know.I want to make sure I bought the right couch, one that says... ..."Kids welcome here," but that also says... ..."Come here to me."What? You say that to kids?The "Come here to me" is, you know,for the ladies. Ross, honey, it's a nice couch, it's not a magic couch. Well,you picked a great couch.-Sign here, please. -Sure.The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!That's ridiculous. He lives three blocks away.I'll take it myself. Thank you.All right, Rach, come on. Let's go.Are you kidding?Come on. It's only three blocks. It's not very heavy. Try it. Oh,I can do it.You two will really enjoy that couch.We're not together.Something didn't quite add up there.What's that supposed to mean?Well,you. Her.I mean,she's very......you know.And you're,like......you know?Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out. Really? You two?I don't want to do this now. I'm carrying a heavy couch.Then tell him quickly.Fine. We went out.Not only did we go out......we did it 298 times!You kept count? You are such a loser!A loser you did it with 298 times!Excuse me,ma'am. You can't put your cigarette out on a tree. Yeah,I can. It worked well.But you shouldn't. So don't ever do that again.I won't. Till I have my next cigarette.Hold it!N.Y.P.D. Freeze,punk!That's right. You are so busted.Book them.-Who are you talking to? -Save it,red!Apologize to the tree or spend the night in the slammer.I am not apologizing to a tree.You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. Backup! Backup!I'm sorry! Sorry!Okay,cancel backup! Cancel backup!Didn't you say there was an elevator in here?Yes,I did,but there isn't. Here we go!Don't you think we should rethink the whole hiring movers thing?No way. They're a rip-off.They check out your stuff and come back later and steal it.-It's true. I saw it on Dateline. -Oh，I love Dateline.Jane Pauley is the one woman I would kiss.-There's just something about her. -Rach,can we concentrate? Yeah,fine. I listened to your dumb story.Okay,go left.Left. Left.Okay,you know what? There's no more left left.Lift it straight up over your head.Straight up. You can do it!You can do it!Okay. You got it?-Go,go. -Good,good.You got it,right? You got it,right? You gotAny chance you think it looks good there?This guy was all:And I'm all, "Buffay! Homicide!"It was just so cool!-You were supposed to take it back. -I'm having fun doing good deeds. You can get arrested for impersonating a police officer.You could get arrested right now!I'd better take it back. I'm totally drunk with power.Yeah. I didn't know you guys would be here.-Do me a favor. Taste this. -What? Why?It's okay, Joe, she's a trained chef.Actually,I was looking for Phoebe.Well,you just missed her.Was that her?-I gotta go. -Joey,wait a minute. Wait.-What is with you? -Nothing.You're acting strange.All right. There is something.I kind of had a dream.But I don't want to talk about it.What if Martin Luther King had said that?I kind of have a dream.I don't want to talk about it.Look,it involved Monica.You had a dream about the girl I'm seeing? Cool.I dreamt about the girls he was seeing.Let's talk about your dream. I love you. Your dream?There was no sex. I haven't dreamt of her like that......since I found out about you two. More or less.What was the dream about?You were my girlfriend. We were doing the crossword puzzle. Like you did last night.That's it. I'm in love with Monica. I'll move out.Joey, come on. That doesn't mean you're in love with me.It doesn't?It could mean anything. Like......you're jealous that I've become the apartment stud.Sounds like your dream.Or it could mean you saw Chandler and me being close and stuff... ...and you want that too.In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.If that's what it was,that'd be great. I wouldn't have to move.Are you attracted to Monica?Right here,right now, are you attracted to her?-Not really. -There you have it!Well,sure! I'm just wearing sweats!But that's good!You're not in love with me. You just want a girlfriend.It's not just about getting a girlfriend.I could get a girlfriend. We could sit and do crossword puzzles. But could we have the closeness like you have?Monica and I were friends before we dated. Maybe that's it. Friends first?That's interesting.-You become friends after? -No,never done that either.Do you guys have a tape measure?Yeah. It's actually in my bedroom.That's right.What's up,Joey?How you doing?Excuse me. Is this your car?Don't park here. You're blocking the entrance.Don't worry. It's not a problem.It's a problem for me, so it's a problem for you, because I'm a cop. So am l.完了Okay. So you're a cop. You can park anywhere.I know,because I'm a cop too.Keep up the good work. 10-4.Wait. So, what precinct are you with?I'm with the 57th.-I know a guy in Homicide up there. -I'm in Vice.In fact,I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.Who else is in Vice there?Do you know......Sipowicz?Sipowicz? I don't think so.Yeah. Sipowicz. Yeah. Big guy, kind of bald.I don't know him.Don't try to call him. He's not there. He's out.His partner just died.Tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss.I sure will. Take care.By the way, I'm sure Sipowicz will be all right.I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good.Where'd you find my badge?Could you give me and Ross a hand moving his couch?I'd love to,but I got acting class. But you know what?I guess I could blow that off. For you.Let me ask you something. I was talking with Monica and Chandler. Boy,they are really tight.I know.That's not a bad situation they got there.Think I'll get me one of those.What's up,Joe?I think Monica and Chandler are so great......because they were friends first.So I asked myself,who are my friends? You and Phoebe.I saw you first,so....-What are you saying? -Maybe you and I crank it up a notch.You know,honey......as flattered as I am......that you saw me first......I just don't think we should be cranking anything up.I'll treat you real nice.Yeah. Well,you know....I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date. But the way you do it is you meet someone, become their friend... ...build a foundation, then ask them out on a date.Don't hit on your existing friends.Won't that take longer?Oh,but once you find it......it's so worth the wait.I understand.Good.Man,I wish I saw Phoebe first.Come here to me.No,no. You come here to me.-I brought reinforcements. -Great! You brought Joey?The next best thing.You brought Chandler? The next best thing would be Monica!I would be offended,but Monica is freakishly strong,so....I drew a sketch of how we'll do it.Rach,that's you.That's the couch.What's that?That's me.Certainly think a lot of yourself.No. That's my arm.I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch. Just follow my lead.Come on,Chandler.-All right. -Okay.Here we go.All right. Ready?Turn!Turn!Turn!-I don't think we can turn any more! -I don't think it'll fit! Yeah,it will. Come on! Up,up,up!Up! Yes!Here we go! Pivot!Pivot!Pivot!Pivot!Pivot!Pivot!Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!I don't think it'll pivot any more.You think?All right,let's bring it back down and try again.I think it's really stuck now.-I can't believe that didn't work. -I know. Me neither.I mean,you had a sketch.What did you mean when you said "pivot"?Man,I cannot figure this out.Yeah, because it's not 1985.You guys,guess what? I ditched a cop.-What? -What do you mean?He caught me using his badge and he tried to bust me.Damn real cops!How far did he chase you?Well,he didn't really. He just picked up his badge and stood there. Maybe we'll see you on World's Most Boring Police Chases.-Why did you run? -I had to.You know, impersonating a cop is like a Class E felony.Two to four years minimum. I am not going back to that hellhole. If I can just get it to pivot......we'll be back on track.-Rach,can I get some help please? -Yeah.Turn it off! Turn it off!Maybe the firemen can help us move the couch when they get here. -Wait,wait,wait. -It's a new couch! It's a new couch!How's it going? Make any new friends?Yeah. I met this woman.What's she like?Well,she's......really good in bed.-You were going to be friends first. -Hey,it's all your fault. Why?You didn't give me advice. You gave me a pickup line.I told her I wanted to build a foundation and be friends first. Suddenly, through no fault of my own, I became irresistible to her! And her roommate.What about the closeness?Closeness, schmosness. There was three of us, for crying out loud! Who wants pizza?I do! I do! I do!This is great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?-Who is it? -N.Y.P.D.Oh,my God!Just a minute,officer!-I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay. -My God,it's him! It's that cop!-I can't believe he found me! -Are you gonna go to jail?If I go down, you guys go down with me.Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum.Good luck, Chandler.Arrest me, but you'll never make it stick and you know it.I have no choice,it's my job. You understand, right?And you understand that I'm calling my lawyer.And once he puts you on the stand, he'll make you look like a fool!I don't like looking foolish.Maybe I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here.I'd love it if I weren't here!Since you're not going to jail tonight, I was wondering if you'd......Iike to go to dinner with me?-Me? -Yeah.Ever since you flashed my badge I can't stop thinking about you.You're the prettiest fake undercover whore I've ever seen.Nice.I didn't see that coming. You're asking me out.I could've done it better, but these people keep staring at me.I'd like to go out with you, officer.-Gary. -Gary.-Okay, so it's a date. -Yeah.I gotta ask you, though. How'd you know where to find me?You're fingerprints were all over my badge so I just ran it through the computer. And this was listed as your last known address so I just checked it out.Impressive.Not as impressive as you. I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff. We'll talk at dinner.-So I'll come by and pick you up? -All right,I can't wait.Don't worry, I won't just take you out for doughnuts.He has a gun!I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.You wanna return this couch?It's cut in half.-That's what I'm telling you. -Did you cut this couch in half?It's crazy, it is cut in half.I don't understand.This couch is cut in half.I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half.We can't accept it in this condition.Well,I can't accept it in this condition.You're saying this couch was delivered to you like this?Look,I'm a reasonable man.I will accept store credit.I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.I will take it.。
Pick a card.All right. Now,memorize it.-You got it? -Oh, yes.Is that your card?Yes.-Hey,guys. -Hi there!Guess what. Ben is gonna be in a TV commercial.What are you talking about?It's not for sure,but......we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was cute.You know,which he is. He gave us his card......and told us to bring him for this commercial he's auditioning.This guy's the biggest commercial casting director in town!Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition?I mean, way to go, Ben!I've been in that park a million times and no one's offered me an audition. It's crazy. We were pushing Ben on the swingsI'm always on the swings!What am I doing wrong?That.The One Where Rachel Smokes23Since you work at Ralph Lauren, can you get me some shirts?I don't know if I'd feel comfortable stealing on my very first day. Unwilling to steal from work.Interesting.If anybody gets free stuff, it's me.Okay,guys,way to wish me luck.Go get 'em!Let's discuss Rachel's birthday.I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.But her birthday's not for another month.If we throw her party on her birthday, it's not a surprise.Great! We can have a dinner party and just invite her close friends. Ross! We're having a surprise party for Rachel.Done.Great. Wanna do it together?I'd love to do it together!They're gonna do it together.That's my girlfriend.So I gotta shut it down now?I gotta go. I'm picking up Ben......and then we're off to the big audition.It's gonna be weird seeing some actor pretending to be Ben's dad. Weirder than seeing his two moms make out?Dad? There's a dad in the commercial?Yeah. The dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.Maybe I'll go with you and audition as the dad.Who better to play Ben's father than his godfather?-You're not his godfather. -What?Are you kidding?Of course I am.-Okay, let's go, godfather. -All right!They're gonna let me audition!Really? That's great!One of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play.So I steered clear of her.And the other one,I know from....Well,you know.-That kid looks familiar. -Oh,yeah.He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in Sugar Smacks, PlayStation... ...and that one for the phone company.He was so good,he convinced me to switch phone companies.Chandler was mad.He's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid.I mean, look at him.That's great.Wouldn't it be great if I got to play Ben's dad?You look nothing like Ben.I look more like him than you do.I really don't know you well enough for you to do that.So it's down to these two. Nancy,I know you like this one.I think I agree. Rachel,what do you think?Well, that one is pretty......but I just love this fabric.Sorry.Don't be. Part of your job is to give your opinions.Then I take credit for them. I'm kidding!She is kidding. But don't ever disagree with her again.Okay,now I'm kidding!What a fun office.I don't know which one. But I do know I need a cigarette.Let's take a break, go outside and sort this out when we return.-You smoke? -No.My dad's a doctor. And he would always tell me horror stories....About ghosts and goblins......who totally supported the princess' right to smoke.And then they came back from smoking and they'd made all of the decisions. -That's not fair. -I know.It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisonous habit. Yeah, it is the best.What if this keeps happening?They'll be smoking, making the decisions......and I'll be up in my office breathing in my stupid clean air.And when Kim wants to promote one of us......who do you think she'll pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?We used to have a smoking area at work.It was great. There was this big flowerpot with dirt in it.We used to put our cigarettes out in it.One of the old-timers told me there used to be a little tree in there.You can go down there and not smoke. Say you want some fresh air.I could do that.Or you could do the easy thing and smoke.You gotta take long, deep drags.Wow,I still don't have my lung capacity back yet.Rach, do you wanna go get coffee?-I would love to. -Oh,good.I'm gonna go too.Oh,good.Oh,I changed my mind.Let's talk about the party. I have so many ideas.Me too!Oh,look at that.This is a little sketch of the cake. See?Some sample menus.I thought we'd start with a Tuscan-style finger food.And for music, here's an alphabetized list of all of my CDs. I've highlighted the ones that'll go with the food.-What about the intimate dinner party? -We're not doing that. Looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot,cohost. Wait a minute. There's plenty of things for you to do.Like what?Cups.You're giving me cups?And ice.Cups and ice? I get to be in charge of cups and ice?All right.Fine. I will be in charge of cups and ice.-I can get ice at the restaurant -I got it!-How did the audition go? -Not so good.Wait a minute. Are you doing Joey's:"The audition didn't go so well.... Yeah,it did"?Yeah,I am!-Yeah,Ben got a second audition. -That's great!I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback. You got a callback too, didn't you?Yeah,I did!What are you doing out here?It got kind of lonely up there, so I thought I would come out here... ...and get some fresh air.We're discussing the fall collection.Oh,great.Anyway,we really-Sorry. We're smoking all over you. -That's okay.We'll move. You stay there.I sent the designs to Ralph. He was excited about it.That's great! You are the best!Excuse me. Can I bum one of those?Actually, this one's....What's so funny over here?I thought you didn't smoke.You know,I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes.You know what I mean? Doobies?Actually,I thought to myself, "Those guys are crazy!"But no,I smoke the regular ones all the time.We get high.Me too.I'm kidding.Me too.Oh,God! This is so nerve-racking. How do you do this?Fortunately,I don't get many callbacks, so....Is it a good sign that they asked us to wait?Who knows?We have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle......and Joey. The rest of you,thank you.Yes! I knew it!Bye-bye.So long.Later.I'm not married to him anymore. He's my ex-husband. I'm totally gay! This is great! I might get to play Ben's dad.Actually,that can't happen.Because you have such different looks......we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben.So it'll either be you two or you two.-This is gonna be kind of weird. -Yeah,it is.Yeah. It's gonna be weird.No. We're like best friends. That's why it's weird.I thought we were just talking.If Ben gets this commercial, do you think you can get me some free soup? Chandler, a can of soup is like 60 cents.Yeah, okay,but I have been supporting a 29-year-old ltalian for five years.Is it okay if I leave this here till Rachel's birthday party?-Sure. What's in them? -Cups.Good, because we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.That's a lot of cups.I'm in charge of cups and ice.And Monica's gonna rue the day she put me in charge of cups and ice. You know,I rued the day once. Didn't get a whole lot else done. Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups.乔伊菲比Ross, I'm glad you're here.-I want to talk to you. -What's up?I've been thinking about this commercial thing. Me against Ben.The two of us competing. That can't lead to anything good.I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'll tell them that I won't audition. Joey, that's great. Thanks,man.That's it?You're gonna let me do this? It's my career we're talking about!But you justI just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it.If anyone should step aside, it should be Ben.-What? -Chandler,tell him!Well, let me get the door first.Hi,no one!Why should Ben step aside?It was his audition in the first place. You tagged along.You're like the tagalong dad!At least I care about his feelings.What?You know how hard it'll be on him when he doesn't get it? And why wouldn't he get it?Come on!Have you seen what my kid can do?He dials phones, he eats tortilla chips.He plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid? You just give him a spoon,baby.Oh,yeah? I guess we'll see!This commercial belongs to me and Mitch!-Your kid's name is Raymond! -Yeah? So is yours!（中央咖啡馆）-How did work go? -lt was great.I went down there like you said. And we talked business. And Kim took my opinions.You stink!-Thanks. -No,I'm serious.That's because I went down there and they were smoking. This is actually the smell of success.But there's something differentOh,my God! You smoked!I did not.Yes, you did. You look happy and sick. You smoked!All right, fine! But I had to. I had to do it for my career.I wish I had to smoke for my career.But it's so gross!It's not that bad, you know?Yeah,my tongue feels a little fuzzy and my fingers sort of smell.I actually feel like I could throw up.-Can you hear yourself? -I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.I'm not myself. I smoked like half a pack.I feel a little shaky and a little weird.But you gotta push past this, okay? Because it's about to get so good. 钱德You smell so smoky, I gotta get up.I'm not kidding.I think you smell great.So we're decided. No on plaid, yes on pink.Absolutely.I'm so onboard.-Didn't you just light that? -Yeah.But you know what?I'm just really,really trying to cut back, you know.Good luck, Rach.I've been thinking about quitting.Every Sunday night, I tell myself I'm quitting.Every Monday morning, it's like:Tell me about it.We'll just quit. Let's all quit!It sounds appealing.-I never could do it. -But you could. Absolutely.We can help each other. We could get those patches.We could be like the Patch Sisters.You know,we really should quit. Okay, let's quit!Great! Give me those cigs. Come on!Give it! Out. Done. Quit.My late husband gave me that lighter.I'm not kidding.Okay,then.Mmm...soup.Mmm...soup.Mmm...soup.Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?-No problem. -Thanks.嗨，班So you want to be an actor? I gotta tell you, it's no picnic.There's tons of rejection. No stability.I mean,one day, you're Dr. Drake Ramoray.The next day,you're eating ketchup out of the bottle.It's a tough life. I mean, sure, you can get up whenever you want......watch TV all day......meet tons of women in acting class....Oh, who am I kidding. I can't talk you out of this. It's a great life.-Joey. -Ross.Ben.I mean,Ben. Ben.Raymond, Joey, you're up.So here's what....Are you sure that I haven't seen you somewhere before?No, I haven't been in any plays.All right,let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready.Is there a problem?Well,this is noodle soup. And I've been working with tomato.But that's okay. No problem.Mmm...noodle soup.You know,that's fine. But the line is,"Mmm...soup."-What'd I say? -"Mmm...noodle soup."How's that different?对…All right. Let's try one.Mmm......noodle soup.Let's do it again.Mmm...soup.I mean, noodle soup. I mean, soup!Come on!You know what? We need to move on.No,I could do it one more time.Look.Mmm...noodle soup.Damn it!So I think that if we get these samples into the magazine by Monday,we'll be fine.Sounds good. So, Rach, how you doing?-I'm great! -No, with the not-smoking thing.Kill me now.Let me tell you something, I ate 40 Mallomars today.I mean, I have patches all over my body, you know?-I mean,I haven't slept in two days. -We quit yesterday.That's counting today.But anyway, so these samples,I thinkOh,my God!I'm so sorry, I forgot. I have to go to the mailroom and mail some proofs.Go ahead. Rachel and I will just sit here and keep brainstorming.Also,Vogue called. And they were wonderingYou know what? I'm a little hungry. I'm just gonna run down to the vending machines. All right.Busted!Come on! What are you doing? I thought we were the Patch Sisters.That didn't work out.Wait a minute. What about all we've talked about?You know,the disgusting place, the ugly people.Hey,how you doing?We tried to quit. But it was too hard.If you started smoking again, you could have at least told me.Give me one of those. What are we talking about?No! You're doing great! Don't you give up.That's why we didn't tell you, and we won't drag you down.Wait. No,no. Drag me down.Forget it. We're so proud of how well you're doing.I won't let you blow it. If I catch you, you're fired.Go on,get out of here. I don't want you breathing this stuff.So, okay. You'll come with me on the Paris trip?Oh,man!Check it out. Cup hat, cup banner......cup chandelier, and the thing that started it all: the cup!Great job with the cups.Why don't you just go out with her?Did you notice the ice? Look!We have it all. We have crushed, cubed and dry. Watch.Mystical.Everyone-no one's eating my Tuscan finger food. Because they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones!There are snow cones?Snow cones! Yuck!-Go,go! Right there! -Thank you.菲比？-You really did do a nice job. -Thank you......for stating the obvious.I deserve that.I just want you to know that if we ever cohost a party together again...-...you can do whatever you want. -Joey's got a birthday coming up.-Really? What do you wanna do? -Okay,I'd like to be in charge of beer.Well,then there's nothing left for me.-Look,look! -Surprise!What? My birthday is not for another month.That's the surprise.Oh,my God, you guys! This is so great! It's so unexpected.I mean,Chandler's birthday is even before mine.Surprise!This is so great! Look at all these......cups.This is so weird.I was in charge of cups.Oh,okay. Not so weird.-Chandler, what are you doing? -Nothing.-What's in your hand? -Money. I'm stealing all the money.Chandler.But just one, okay? Because nobody knows when my birthday is.Let me make this clear to you,okay?It's either that......or this.They were menthol.Listen, man. I'm sorry the audition didn't go well.Yeah, right.No, really. I am, Joey. I feel bad.Look, Ross. You don't have to,okay?It's not your fault I suck.What kind of an actor can't even say, "Mmm...noodle soup"?You know what? Maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck. Maybe you messed up because you care more about your godson.What do you mean?I think, subconsciouslyYou lost me.I think,on some level, you sabotaged......your own audition so Ben would get the part.Your way sounds a lot better than mine.It's not that I'm a bad actor.No,it's just that I care so damn much about little Ben... ...that it was more important for me to see him succeed.-There you go. Thank you. -Thank you.-So did he get it? -No.What are you gonna do?Excuse me, is Rachel Green here? I'm meeting her for lunch. She doesn't come down anymore. You can find her up on 10. Okay,great.So we talked about the presentation.He wondered if one person would be enough.And I said, "Yeah,absolutely."I'll catch you guys later.453。
What's going on? 怎么了？My eye is a little itchy. 我的眼睛有点痒Mine too. Yeah. 我的也是It's really red. You should go see my eye doctor. 你的眼睛好红喔你应该去看我的眼科医生I'm not gonna see your ex-boyfriend. 理查？我才不要找你的前男友看眼睛That's all I hear. Richard, Richard, Richard. 理查…一天到晚理查个没完Since we've dated, I've said his name twice. 打从我们开始约会以后我想我只提过两次他的名字Okay. So Richard, Richard. 那好，理查、理查It's not Richard. It's this new guy. He's good. 不是理查啦我新找的眼科医生很棒I'm sorry. I'm not going to an eye doctor. 抱歉，我不去看眼科医生-Oh, God. Here we go. -What? 天啊，老毛病又犯了什么？Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's... 每次只要碰到眼睛这档事她马上就......she, like, freaks out. Watch. ...避之唯恐不及注意看Ross, come on! 罗斯，你别闹了I have a weird thing with my eye. Can we not talk about it? 好，我对我的眼睛有怪癖麻烦别再讨论了，行吗？好吧… 好，我对我的眼睛有怪癖麻烦别再讨论了，行吗？Hey,Rach. You know that great song? "Me, Myself and Eye." 瑞秋，还记得有首很棒的歌我、我自己和… （“我”和“眼睛”同音）Monica! Come on! 摩妮卡，别闹啦All those in favor of getting lunch, say, "eye." 有没有人想吃午餐？有意愿的请说…Ross! Stop it! 罗斯，拜托别闹了啦How much did I love The King and Eye? 我有多喜欢“国王与我”？Chandler! 钱德！Me too, me too! 我也是…Just stop it! That's enough! 够了，别玩了…-You okay there, man? -Yeah. I got too excited. 你还好吧？对，我真的戳到了The One with Joey's Big Break 本集播出：“眼病难医”29 先走了，我要带班去公园-Give him a kiss for me. -All right. Bye. 帮我亲一下他好，再见Later. 再见…I'm so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. 很抱歉让你们夹在中间尴尬I didn't mean to be so out there, but I am furious with him. 我也不是故意这么夸张但我真的很生他的气Calm down? 别激动I'm trying. Man, that guy can push my buttons! 我在克制但一想到那个人我就有气Why are you so mad? 你干嘛那么气他？-I don't wanna talk about it. -lt seems like 我不想谈，好吗？只是…You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking. 你想榜上有名就继续说啊Has anyone seen my list, by the way? 对了，谁有看到我的黑名单？No. What's it look like? 没看到，长什么样子？-A piece of paper and it says, "Ross." -I see. 就是张纸，上头写了“罗斯” 了解I just got off the phone with Estelle. Guess what? 我刚和艾斯黛讲完电话你们猜怎么了？I got the lead in a movie!!! 我要当电影主角了！You got the lead in a movie? What's it about? 你要演电影主角，太厉害了是什么电影？It's called Shutterspeed. It's really cool. 片名是“极限速度”，超酷的I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in, like, a day. 我在地铁遇见一个女孩一天之内坠入情网And then she disappears. But I find out where she lives. 后来她消失无踪但我找出了她住在哪里This old lady answers the door. I say,"Where's Betsy?" 一个老太太出来开门我问她“贝丝在哪里？”And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years." 她说“贝丝已经过世十年了”Chilling! 好寒The best part is,we're filming in the desert outside of Vegas. 最棒的部分是拍片地点在赌城外的沙漠-You know what that means. -I know. 兄弟，你知道那是啥意思对，我知道Road trip! We can rent a car. I have to be there by Tuesday. 开车杀过去，我们可以租车我周二以前到那里就行了Wait! My grandmother's dead. 等等，我祖母过世了We can talk about that too,Phoebe. 菲比，我们也可以聊聊那件事No, her cab. 不…我是说她的计程车She probably won't be using it. Drive it to Las Vegas. 她八成用不到了你们可以开去赌城All right! Thanks! 好耶，菲比，谢了What are we gonna do about my job? 等等… 那我的工作怎么办？Not go. 别去了Great! Road trip,baby! 好耶！棒！上路罗！Is this okay? 你没意见吧？Chandler, you don't have to ask for my permission. 钱德，你不用徵求我的允许…You can go. 我让你去谢谢Rach, we'll be late for the eye doctor. 瑞秋，快点，我们看医生要迟到了All right. Let's get this over with. 好啦，早去早解脱Look what I did. 糟糕，我真是笨手笨脚的I mean, look at this mess. 搞得一团乱We're gonna probably have to clean this up. 我得先来清理一下I mean, we're gonna have to reschedule! 看诊时间得要重约了If you thought that this mess was gonna bother me, you are wrong!若你认为这点脏乱就会影响我那你就错了All right, let's go, Blinky. 我们走吧，眨眼姑娘钱德！我们走吧，眨眼姑娘“中央咖啡馆” 我们走吧，眨眼姑娘Hey,Joey. What's up? 乔伊你怎么了？I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. 我无法决定走哪条路去赌城You've traveled a lot, right? 你去过不少地方吧？Yeah,I've been around. 对，见过世面Which route should I take? The north or the south route? 那我该选哪一条？北线还是南线？If you take the north route, there's a man with a beard of bees. 走北线途经伊利诺州有个男人会用蜜蜂当胡子Great! Problem solved! 太棒了，问题解决On the south route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe. 但是走南线的话可以看会玩井字游戏的鸡Well, back to square one. 又回到原点了I know a way that you can decide. 我知道有个方法能让你做决定I'll ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can. 我会问你一连串的问题你回答得越快越好Yes! 好！Good. But wait. 很好，不过先别急Here we go. I want you to relax. 开始罗，你先放轻松Take a deep breath. 深呼吸一口气Clear your mind. 心里不要想事情-Peanut butter or egg whites? -Peanut butter. 花生酱和蛋白，你喜欢哪个？花生酱-Be a fireman or a swimmer? -Swimmer. 你比较想当消防员还是游泳选手? 游泳选手-You'd sleep with Monica or Rachel? -Monica. 摩妮卡和瑞秋你比较想跟谁上床？摩妮卡…I always thought it'd be Rachel. 我一直都以为会是瑞秋呢-No thinking. Tie or ascot? -Ascot. 不要想事情… 领带或领巾？领巾-North or south route? -North. 南线或北线？北线Bam! There you go! Huh? 答案出现，厉害吧That was incredible! Beard of bees here I come! 不可思议蜜蜂胡，我来罗This guy again. 这傢伙又来了Hey,what's up? 你好吗？Not much. Wanna see a movie tonight? 普通，今晚想看电影吗？What do you wanna see? 好啊，你要看什么？I don't know. 不知道…I know how to decide. Show him your game. 我知道我们要如何决定菲比，让他见识你的游戏No, thank you. 免了，多谢What's with her? 她是怎么了？I don't know. I know how we can decide. 不知道，但我知道怎么决定了I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick. 我问你问题，你要很快回答好-Action or comedy? -Action. 动作片或喜剧你比较喜欢哪一个？动作片Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel? 摩妮卡和瑞秋你比较想跟谁上床？Dude, you are sick. 老兄，你真变态I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing. 抱歉，我忘了你迷恋过瑞秋Oh, my God. What does that thing do? 天啊，这是干嘛的？-An eye removal machine. -I'm out of here. 这是眼球摘除机好了，我要走了I'm kidding. 开玩笑的啦…Rachel,I'm Dr. Miller. 瑞秋，我是米勒医生Monica said you were nervous. Everything will be fine. 摩妮卡说你有点紧张不过别担心，不会有事的-So we're done. -Almost, but first we gotta start. 那就结束吧快了，不过我们要先开始This is a glaucoma test. Sit down. 这是青光眼测试请坐Put your chin here. 把脸颊放在这里Now, you'll feel a small puff of air in each eye. 好，眼睛会有风吹的感觉What? 什么？A small puff of air. Now, come on! 一点点的风啦，你快点！Here we go. 来罗好One,two,three. 一、二、三…I'm sorry. All right. 抱歉…好吧I'm gonna stay in here this time. 我这次不会动Ready? 好了吗？-One,two -I'm sorry. 一、二… 抱歉You know what? I'm gonna hold her head. 我来抓她头好了That's okay. 好一、二… 好I'm sorry. 对不起You're young. You don't have glaucoma. 你还年轻，应该没有青光眼So it was very, very nice to meet you, sir. 太好了，很高兴认识您What are you? Are you crazy? 你在干嘛？你疯了不成？You got a small, minor infection in that left eye. 好，你的左眼有些微感染Take these drops for a week and you'll be as good as new. 这眼药水一天点三次连续一周你就宛如新生了No, I don't put things in my eye. 我不把任何东西放进眼睛里We'll see you here in three months. And I'll fit you for a glass eye. 那好吧，三个月后再见太棒了我到时帮你装上义眼Give me the damn drops! 好啦，把那死眼药水给我Dr. Miller? 米勒医生？P-E-C-F-D. P、E、C、F、DVery good, Monica! 摩妮卡，棒极了-You know where they are. -I sure do. 你知道奖品放在哪里我当然知道And you don't get one. 你没有！You know,those eye drops are a miracle. 那眼药水实在是太神奇了My eye is 100 percent better. 我的眼睛百分之百好了-They're still in my coat. -Damn! 眼药水还放在我的外套里可恶-You ready to go? -Yeah. 准备好上路了没？好了How cold will it be there? Will all these sweater vests be enough? 不过那边会有多冷？我要带外套还是带这些毛衣就够了？-What? -I love you. 怎么了？我爱你I wish Ross was coming with us. I'll miss him. 真希望罗斯也能一起去我一定会很想念他的Thanks. I just got that jerk out of my mind. 真是多谢你了我才刚把那个混蛋给忘掉Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite? 我们住哪里？电影公司招待的饭店大套房？Not really. It's an independent film. 不算是，这是独立制片的电影We don't have a big budget. I'll stay in your room. 没有大预算我想我住你房间好了Once you get paid, you'll be springing for a suite. 了解，但等你拿到酬劳之后你会请我住饭店大套房吧？They must be paying you a lot. 主演电影的片酬一定不少吧？Yeah. For every dollar Shutterspeed makes... 是啊，我算给你听 “极限速度”每赚一块钱...one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket. 乔伊就能分到百分之一You don't get paid unless it makes money? 所以电影赚钱你才有钱拿？Did you not hear the plot of the movie? 你不知道这电影的情节吗？"She's been dead for 10 years." “贝丝已经过世十年了”I'm gonna be a millionaire! 我就快变成百万富翁了I wanted to say goodbye. 我只是要来跟你们说个再见And to see if you guys would place a little bet for me. 顺便托你们帮我下个注Twenty bucks on black 15. 20美元押黑色15号-You got it! -All right. 没问题好-You remember the number,right? -Yeah,black 13. 你记得号码吧？记得，黑色13号-Black 15! -You got it. 黑色15号啦! 没问题-All right. Bye-bye,now. -Bye,you guys. 再见…I'll say bye at the car. 我去车子那里替你送行Anyone wanna say bye to me at the car? 谁要去车子那里替我送行？I'll say goodbye to you at the car if you don't mind the pus. 我可以替你送行只要你不介意我眼睛化脓See you! 再见But wait a minute. The pus is good. It means it's healing. 等等，化脓是好现象表示快要好了Hey, Phoebe. What you reading? 菲比，你在看什么？菲比？菲比，你在看什么？Hello? 菲比，你在看什么？菲比？…菲比，你在看什么？Come on! 菲比？别闹了啦I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. 抱歉，我不知道你在这里Phoebe, are you mad at me or something? 菲比，你在生我的气吗？If you are, please tell me what it is I did. 我做了什么让你生气的事？-lf you don't know, I can't help you. -I don't know. 你不知道，我也帮不了你我是不知道啊Well, I can't help you. 那我也无能为力了Well, whatever it is, I am very, very sorry. Okay? 不管是什么事，我都非常抱歉Apology accepted. 我接受你的道歉So we're good? 那我们没事了？好吧那我们没事了？I'll see you later,okay? 那晚点见罗Bye,fat-ass. 好，大屁股All right! 够了！Will you please tell me what it is that made you so mad at me? 菲比，你快点说我做了什么让你这么不爽？I don't know! I don't remember! 我不知道，我不记得了What do you mean, you can't remember? 什么叫做你不记得了？I was so focused on being mad at you, I forgot what it was I was mad about.我太专心在生你的气气到都忘了生气的原因If you can't remember, can't we just forget about this? 既然忘了，那能不能就算了？Oh,no. I am mad at you. I know that much. 不行，我生你的气，这很确定But I'm sorry about the fat-ass thing because you have a sweet, little heinie.但我很抱歉骂你大屁股因为你的小屁屁很可爱I'm getting pretty tired. You'll have to take over soon. 我开得好累，你随时准备接手We've been driving for a half-hour. You haven't looked at the road once. 我们才上路半小时而且你都没在看路Don't worry. It's out there. 别担心，路就是路嘛Maybe I just need lunch. You wanna eat? 我想我该吃午饭了是啊你要吃吗？My treat. 我请客Isn't that Ross' money? 那不是罗斯的钱吗？Ross' treat. Where do you wanna eat? 是啊，好吧，罗斯请客你想吃什么？I don't know. 我不知道I know how we can decide. 我知道要怎么决定了I'll ask you questions. 我问你一堆问题And then you have to answer real fast. 你得很快回答So clear your mind. Clear it right out. Clear it out. 不要想事情，什么都不要想好It's all clear except for this image of a small, purple lamp. 我没在想事情但心里有个小紫灯的形象Is that all right if that stays in there? 这样不碍事吧？I don't see why not. I guess. 应该不碍事吧…You have to answer with the first thing that pops into your head, okay? 想到什么就直接回答好-Would you rather be too wet or too dry? -Too dry. 你宁愿太湿或太干？太干-Do you believe in ghosts? -No. 你相不相信有鬼？不相信-Will this movie be my big break? -No. 这电影会让我翻身吗？不会-What? -Yes. 什么？会-Dude,you said,no. -I also said,yes. 你刚才说不会我也说了会啊-This won't be my big break? -No. 你不觉得我这次会翻身？对I don't believe this. 岂有此理Look, I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high. 乔伊，我只是不要你期望太高What are you talking about? I'm the lead in a movie! 你在胡说什么？我是电影主角耶！They're not even paying you! This doesn't sound like a real movie! 那他们还不付你片酬？这电影听来跟幌子一样I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break. 我不需要听这种话搞不懂你干嘛泄我的气I don't think this is gonna be your big break. 乔伊，我不认为你这次能翻身Are you on this trip to make me feel like a loser? 所以你才来这趟？让我觉得自己是窝囊废？-I'd rather be alone. -You don't want me here? 如果是这样，那我宁愿自己去Not if you're like this. 你不要我陪你去？你这样我不要也罢The next time you ask me a question like that,I'll lie. 那好吧，下次你再问那种问题我骗你就是了I don't want you on the trip. 对！我不要你一起去Why don't you pull over. I'll get out now. 好，无所谓… 你停车，我马上走Fine. 好啊Get out. 滚吧You can't stop on a bridge. 在桥上不能随便就停车-Get out! -Fine! 滚啦！好啦！Wait! Wait! There's no sidewalk! 等等…桥上没有人行道！Yeah. I'm gonna die here. 我一定会死在这里“中央咖啡馆” 我一定会死在这里Are you mad at me because my hair gel smells? 好，你生我的气是因为我发胶有怪味？不是好，你生我的气是因为我发胶有怪味？Because I said your handwriting is childlike? 你生我的气是因为我说你写字像小孩？No. That made me feel precious. 不是，这样才特别啊Because he's always correcting people's grammar? 我知道了因为他老爱纠正别人文法？"Whom, whom." Sometimes it's "who"! 什么“WHOM”个没完有时候是用“WHO”啦！Yeah? Sometimes it's: 是吗？有时候是…Did you beat him at a board game? He's such a baby when he loses. 还是你玩西洋棋赢了他？他开始居于劣势就很孩子气Okay, I'm the baby. 好，我孩子气Hey! Stop it! 住手！What are you doing here? 钱德，你怎么会在这里？Joey kicked me out of the car on the bridge. 乔伊在华盛顿大桥上把我赶下车-Why? -I don't know. He went crazy. 为什么？… 不知道，他突然发飙We played that game where you ask questions and answer fast. 我们在玩快问快答的游戏That game should not be played without my supervision. 没有我在场监督绝对不能玩那个游戏I don't know what made him mad. 我不知道他干嘛气成那样All I said was that this wouldn't be his big break... 我只是说他这次不会翻身...that it wouldn't do anything for him... 说这部电影帮不了他...and that it didn't sound real. 说这部电影很像是幌子Okay, he should've pushed me off the bridge. 好啦，他该把我推下桥才对What's in the bag? 你袋子里有什么？I figured you'd be mad at me... 我猜想你们大家也会对我不爽...so I got gifts that I found on the roadside. 所以我在路边检了些礼物-Who wants the one-legged teddy bear? -I do! 谁要一条腿的泰迪熊？我要来了谁要一条腿的泰迪熊？我要-Not even close. -I need help! I can't do this. 差远了好啦，你帮我，我没办法Come on. Let's do it. 来，我帮你Sit down. All right, put your head back. 坐下好头往后仰好-Now open your eyes. -Okay,they are. 把眼睛张开好，张开了-How many fingers am I holding up? -Four. 我举了几只手指头？四只I was thinking four. 天啊，我心里想的也是四只-Really? -Yes! 真的？是啊Why don't we start with a practice one. 这样吧，我们先来预演一次好-No drops. -Great! 不滴眼药水太好了On three. One,two,three. 数到三，一、二、三…My pillow's all wet! 你害我沙发枕都湿了Well,you said it was practice! 你自己说是预演的Why did you move? 那你干嘛动？I knew you were lying! 因为我知道你在骗我-Come here. -What are you doing? 好吧，过来你要干嘛？Stop it! Oh,my God! 摩妮卡，天啊！住手！…I am going.... 我要…Turn it over! 转回来！I am going to get... 我要把......get these drops in your eye. 把眼药水…滴进你眼睛Oh, my God! You really are freakishly strong. 天啊，你蛮力真大Stop! Stop! 摩妮卡，住手！…Stop it! 住手Damn,it's empty! 可恶，滴完了！If Joey and Chandler walked in now, we could make a fortune. 如果现在乔伊和钱德走进来我们就发了That is definitely Chandler, Joey or Ross. 一定是钱德、乔伊或罗斯Or Rachel. 或是瑞秋It's Joey. 喂？是乔伊Chandler told me what happened. He's really upset. 真高兴你打来钱德都说了，他很难过Not as upset as he'll be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests.等他知道他毛衣的下场他一定会更难过What did you do to them? 你把他的毛衣怎么了？There's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. 这么说吧，在俄亥俄州有一伙打扮亮丽的狗I gotta ask Phoebe something about the car. 摩妮卡？菲比在吗？我有车子的事要问她Hold on one second. 她在，你等等-Hey, dude. -Hey, Phoebe. 嗨嗨，菲比，你听我说This wooden box keeps sliding out. What is it? 座位底下有个木盒滑出来那是什么？My grandma. 那是我祖母And thanks. She's having a great time. 乔伊，谢谢你，她玩得很愉快Is that Joey? Let me talk to him. 是乔伊吗？我要跟他说…Chandler's here. He was wondering if 乔伊？钱德不知道你…I guess he ran out of change. 我想他零钱正好用完了How am I gonna apologize to him if he won't even talk to me? 他连话都不想跟我说这样我要怎么跟他道歉？Send him something. So when he gets there, he'll know you're sorry. 或许你应该寄点东西给他等他到了赌城就知道你想表达歉意了That's a good idea. I wonder where I could get a basket of porn? 好主意，上哪儿找一堆A片？No,don't say, "I'm sorry," with porn. 不行，不能用A片道歉啦真的？You should send him a carton of cigarettes. 你应该寄一条烟过去Because that way he can trade it for protection. 他可以用来换取保护No. That's prison. 错了，监狱里才是这样I know how we're gonna figure this out. 菲比，我知道要怎么找出原因Clear your mind... 好，什么都不要想...and answer the first thing that comes into your head. 想到什么就直接回答-Do you like flora or fauna? -Fauna. 你比较喜欢植物还是动物？动物-Simon or Garfunkel? -Garfunkel. 你想当赛门还是葛芬柯？葛芬柯-Why are you mad? -You said I was boring. 你为何生我的气？因为你说我很无趣When did I say that? 我何时说过你无趣了？Oh,my God! I remember now! We were playing chess. 天啊，我想起来了我们下西洋棋那次Phoebe,you and l have never played chess. 菲比，我和你没下过西洋棋Remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing. You said I was boring.有啦，记得冰冻湖那次吗？我们玩西洋棋，你说我很无趣Then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz. 然后你脱下面具变成了卡麦蓉狄亚There's a chance this may have been a dream. 好吧，这有可能是梦境So this entire time,you've been angry with me because of a dream? 所以你这阵子以来对我不爽全是因为一场梦？Well, guess what, now I'm mad at you. 菲比，现在轮我不爽你了I wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream. 我想确定这次不是作梦Otherwise we're wasting our time. 免得浪费彼此的时间Stanley! 史丹利！Your leading man is here. Let's get to work. 你的主角来了，咱们开工吧Slight change of plans. 计划有些改变We've shut down. 我们停拍了What? Why? 什么？为什么？It's a money thing. We don't have any. 我们没钱You're kidding, right? 你在开玩笑吧？不是What? 什么？It's probably just temporary. 这或许只是暂时的We're hoping to get some money soon. Just hang out. 我们希望能快点筹到资金你先撑一下Hang out? How long? 撑一下？要撑多久？I don't know. A week. Maybe two. The money will turn up. 不知道，一、两个星期吧资金会出现的People always wanna invest in movies. You're not rich? 大家都爱投资拍电影你该不会是有钱人吧？我不是Worth a shot. 问一下也无妨Well, Joey, let me know where you're staying,okay? 乔伊，让我知道你在哪儿落脚Hey, pal. Are you Joey Tribbiani? 你是乔伊崔比亚尼吗？我是These got left for you. 这是有人留给你的Thanks. 谢了"Congratulations on your big break." 恭喜你翻身了-Monica, it's Joey. -Hey,Joey. 喂？摩妮卡，我是乔伊You remember me even though you're a star. 你当了大明星还是记得我Come on. It'll be years before I forget you. 得了吧，忘记你也要好几年What's it like on a movie set? 拍片现场是什么样子？Do you have a dressing room and a chair with your name? 你有自己的更衣室吗？有专属的私人座椅吗？Yeah,yeah,I got all that going on. 有啊，一切都在进行当中Tell Chandler he couldn't have been more wrong. 你一定要跟钱德说他完完全全看走眼了I gotta go,Monica. My sushi's here. 摩妮卡，我得挂了我的寿司送来了Sorry about that. Thanks for waiting. 抱歉，多谢你们等我没关系Everybody smile. 大家笑一个，多谢Thanks a lot. Enjoy your stay at Caesars. We hope it's toga-rific. 希望你们在凯萨住得愉快祝福你们“罗马”精神Kill me. Kill me now. 杀了我吧…Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide? 瑞秋，电视指南递给我好吗？好啊Go! 上！What are you doing? Get off! Oh, my God! 住手！…天啊！Hold it open. Okay. 好了…We'll see you in about three or four hours. 三、四个小时后再见。
- Coffee. - Thank you. -咖啡 -谢谢- Cappuccino. - Grazie. -卡布其诺 -谢谢[意大利语]And a nice, hot cider for Monica. 这杯美味的热苹果汁是莫妮卡的Thank you. 谢谢Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? 瑞秋为何我的肉桂棒上有橡皮擦That's why. 原来是这样Sorry. 对不起Chandler? 钱德勒Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today. 泰洛克小姐你今天真漂亮May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. 我能说你这袖口长度真显身材吗Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today.科斯特力克先生希望你下班后到他办公室去If it's about those prank memos, 如果他是为搞笑备忘录的事I had nothing to do with them, really. 那绝不是我干的真的Hey, you guys! 各位,Chandler's coming and he has incredible news. 钱德勒马上来他说有天大的好消息So when he gets here, let's all act, like, you know 所以他来的时候我们就......Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. 不管了这一定是很好的消息What's going on? 到底怎么了...So it's a typical day at work... 今天和平常没什么两样...and Big Al calls me into his office 然后艾尔叫我到他办公室and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. 说他要我当处理主管- That is great! - Congratulations! -真是太好了 -恭喜...So I quit. 所以我就辞职了Why? 为什么Why? This was a temp job. 为什么因为这只是暂时的工作Chandler,you've been there for five years. 钱德勒你已在公司五年了I know, but if I took it, 我知道但接受升职I'd be admitting that this is what I do. 不就代表承认这就是我的职业Was it a lot more money? 那不是能赚更多钱Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be 我不在乎我不想成为a guy who sits in his office until 12'o clock in the night... 在办公室坐到午夜...worrying about the WENUS. 担心"周净计"的那种人The "WENUS"? "周净计"是啥Weekly estimated net usage system. "每周估计净值使用统计系统"It's a processing term. 这是处理用术语Oh, that WENUS. 这么回事啊What will you do? 你有何打算I don't know, that's the thing I don't know what I want to do. 我不知道问题就在于我不知道想做什么I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.我只知道我在那工作下去就永远想不明白I have something you can do! 我这有份活给你I have this new massage client, Steve. 我的新按摩客户史提夫Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant... 不多说了他开了一家餐厅...and he's looking for a head chef. 他正在寻找主厨- Hi, there. -Hi. -你好 -你好.I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. 我知道你是个厨师而且我先想到你But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so.... 但钱德勒目前没有工作所以...I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience. 我没有太多厨师的经验Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. 除非那是家只卖吐司的餐厅What kind of food is he looking for? 他想要什么菜色He wants to do something eclectic. 他想要菜色丰富多变He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu.因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人- Oh my God! - I know! -天啊 -很棒吧So, what do you think? 所以你意下如何Thanks. Pheebs. 谢了菲比- I just don't see myself in a big, white hat. -Ok. -我觉得自己不适合戴白色厨师帽 -好吧Oh, Monica! Guess what? 莫妮卡你猜怎么着Can you see my nipples through this shirt? 你们能透过衬衫看见我的乳头吗No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there. 看不见但别担心它们肯定还在Where are you going? Mr. suity man 你要上哪儿去西装笔挺先生I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman, 我和罗伯·提曼博士有约career counselor-a-go-go! 求职顾问阿哥哥- I added the "a-go-go." - Career counselor? -阿哥哥是我加的 -求职顾问You guys all know what you want to do. 你们都已找到人生的方向I don't. 还没You guys in the living room all know what you want to do.在客厅里的各位全都已找到人生的方向You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! 你们有目标有梦想我却没有梦想You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream!以马丁·路德金的"我有一个梦想"演讲作讽The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech. 少见的"我没有一个梦想"演说I love my life! I love my life! 我爱我的人生我爱我的人生"Brian's Song"! 布莱恩的歌- The meeting went great? - So great! -见面的结果如何 -相当顺利He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. 他告诉我未来餐厅的位置It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. 就在第十街上有个温馨的小店面Not too big, not too small. Just right. 不太大也不太小大小适中Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? 前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗I'm cooking for him Monday night, kind of an audition. 周一晚我要煮一餐让他品尝算是面试Phoebe, he wants you here. 菲比他也要你在场It's great for me. You can make yummy noises. 这样对我有好处因为你可以装作吃得很香- What are you gonna make? - Yummy noises. -你打算做什么 -吃得很香And Monica, what are you gonna make? 那莫妮卡你要做什么菜I don't know. It's gotta so be great. 我也不知道但一定会很棒的I know what you can make! I know! 我知道你可以做什么了我知道You should make that thing with the stuff. 你应该用那些东西做这个You know that thing with the stuff? 你知道用那些东西做的这个Okay, I don't know. 好吧我也不知道Guys. Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? 各位谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. 东尼餐厅如何吃下一公斤牛排就免费Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?有谁知道哪家不用带美洲豹过去的好餐厅- Who are you going out with? - Is this the bug lady? -你要和谁约会 -是昆虫女吗"I love you, Ross." "我爱你罗斯"Her name is Celia she's not a bug lady 她叫希莉亚不是昆虫女and she's curator of insect at the museum. 她是博物馆的昆虫部主任- What are you gonna do? - Go out to dinner... -你们打算做些什么 -出去吃晚餐...then bring her back to my place 然后带她回我的住处and introduce her to my monkey. 带她看看我的猴子And he's not speaking metaphorically. 他这不是在打比方So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... 回你的住处啊你有没有想...Well, I don't know.... 我不知道你啥意思I'm hoping.... 我希望...I'm telling you. That monkey is a chick magnet. 告诉你那猴子是魅力十足She'll take one look at his cute, little face 她一旦看见它可爱的小脸and it'll seal the deal. 然后一切就搞定Celia, don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! 希莉亚别担心它不会伤害你的Soothing tones. 用安抚的语调- Here, Marcel. - I can't stand this. -过来马赛尔 -我受不了了- He's got his claws on my - Yeah, all right. -它的爪子在我的 -好了乖..Okay, try this salmon mousse. 试试这鲑鱼慕斯Good. 好吃Is it better than the other salmon mousse? 比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃吗- It's creamier. -Yeah? Well, is that better? -更滑更柔 -是吗这样更好吗I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish. 我不知道这是条搅成泡沫的鱼I'm just happy I'm keeping it down. 我能不吐出来就已经不错了God, what happened to you? 天啊你怎么了Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8个半小时的天资测验...intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? 智力测验个性测验我了解了什么"You're suited for data processing "你适合在大型跨国公司for a large multinational corporation." "数据处理部门方面发展"That's so great! You already know how to do that. 这太好了因为你已知道该如何做Can you believe it? 你们能相信吗Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? 我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗I just always pictured myself doing something.... 我总是想像自己能做点事情Something! 了不得的事情Chandler, I know, I know. 钱德勒我知道Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt. 原来透过这件衬衫能看到你的乳头啊Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up. 给这个或许能让你开心点I had a grape about five hours ago, 5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄so I better split this with you. 所以我最好和你平分吃It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer. 它本来就应该那么小这是餐前开胃菜The French call it an amuse-bouche. 法国人称它为"阿姆兹布许"Well, it is amusing. 这简直是太神奇了Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00. 温蒂对八点What did we say, $10 an hour? 我们不是说过吗每小时十块Okay, great. All right, I'll see you then. 很好再见了$10 an hour for what? 什么每小时十块I ask one of the waitress from work, she's helping me. 我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙Waitressing? 服务生Of course I thought of you. But.... 当然我考虑过你但...- But.... - But, but.... -但是... -但是什么But it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? 但是今晚一定要做到完美你知道吗Wendy's more of a professional waitress. 温蒂的经验丰富是个职业服务生And I'm maintaining my amateur status 我应该继续保持业余的姿态so I can waitress in the Olympics. 将来才能在奥运会上当服务生I don't mean to brag, 我不想自吹自擂I don't mean to brag, 该年冬奥会在因斯布鲁克召开but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. 但我1976年在因斯布鲁克当过服务生Amuse-bouche? 来点阿姆兹布许Talk to me. 和我说话A weird thing happened on the train this morning 早上我坐地铁时发生了一件怪事Talk dirty. 说下流话- Here? - Come on. Come on. -在这里 -对来吧Say something hot. 说点火辣的What? What? 什么什么Vulva. 外阴Vulva? 外阴I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. 我当时好害怕她吓了我一跳But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling. 但也不算一败涂地我们以爱抚收场You cuddled? How many times? 爱抚了啊几次Shut up. It was nice. 闭嘴感觉还不错I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. 我只是不是那种讲下流话的人What's the big deal? Just say what you wanna do to her. 有什么啊你只要说出你想对她如何Or what you want her to do to you. 或是你想她对你如何Or what other people might be doing to each other. 或是别人想对彼此如何I'll tell you what. Try something on me. 这样吧对我说两句试试Please be kidding. 你是在开玩笑对吧Why not? 有何不可Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. 只要闭上眼睛告诉我现在你想干什么Ok, I'm in my apartment.... 好吧...我在我的住处- Yeah, what else? - You're not there. -然后呢 -你不在那里.- We're not having this conversation. - All right, I'll start. -我们没有这次谈话 -好吧那我先来- Joey, please... - Come on, ready, look. -乔伊别这样 -来嘛准备好Oh, Ross... 罗斯...you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. 你让我欲火焚身我要你马上舔我- Now you say something. - I really don't think so. -该你了 -我看还是算了吧- You like this woman, right? - Yeah. -你喜欢她对吧 -对- You wanna see her again, right? - Sure. -想再见到她对吗 -当然If you can't talk dirty to me, 如果你对我都说不出下流话how will you talk dirty to her? 你如何对她说呢Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! 现在告诉我你想爱抚我的屁股Okay, turn around. 好吧转过去I don't want you staring at me while I'm doing this. 我说话时不想你盯着我看All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead. 好吧我不看说吧I want Okay, I want... 我要......to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips. 用我的双唇感觉你那火热光滑的皮肤There you go. Keep going, keep going. 这就对了继续I want to take my tongue and 我要用我的舌头...Say it. 快说啊Say it! 快说run it all over your body... 舔遍你的全身... until you're trembling with 直到你颤抖...With? 然后呢- Funny story. - You're not gonna believe this. -说来好笑 -你不会相信的It's Ok, I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. 没事我一向赞成你们两个小子交往Chandler, while you were sleeping, 钱德勒你睡觉时that guy from your old job called again. 以前的公司又打电话来- Again? - And again and again and again. -又打来 -一遍又一遍Hello. And again. 喂又打来了Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? 嘿科斯特林克先生 15楼的情况如何Yeah, I miss you too. 我也想念你.Yeah. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. 对偷自己家里的笔不够刺激That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. 你真慷慨但这不是钱的问题I need something more than a job. 我需要的不只是一份工作I need something I really care about 我要的是我真正想要的That's on top of the year-end bonus you metioned earlier?这津贴不包含在你稍早提过的年终红利里Your dream! 你的梦想...Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? 听着艾尔我不是在故意为难你This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! 这不是交涉这叫拒绝No, no, no Stop saying numbers! 不不不别再讲数字了I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! 告诉你你看错人了你看错人了I'll see you Monday! 星期一见Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. 好大比小格子大多了This is a cube! 这是一个格间Look at this. 看这里You have a window! 你有窗户Yes, indeed-y. With a beautiful view of 没错还有美丽的风景...Look! That guy's peeing! 看有人在小便That's enough of the view. Check this out. 风景看够了看这个Okay, sit down here. 坐下This is great. 这个最酷,- You ready? - Yeah. -准备好没 -好了Helen, could you come in here? 海伦能进来一下吗Thank you, Helen. That'll be all. 谢谢你海伦没事了Last time I do that. I promise. 最后一次了我保证Wendy, We had a deal. 温蒂我们约好的Yeah, you promised. 你答应过我Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! 温蒂温蒂温蒂- Who was that? - Wendy bailed. -那是谁 -叛徒温蒂I have no waitress. 我没服务生了That's too bad. Bye-bye. 真是太糟糕了再见Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! 一小时十元一小时十二元Mon, I wish I could, 莫妮卡我也希望能帮你but I've made plans to walk around. 但我已经计划好去走走Rachel. When you ran out on your wedding, I was there for you. 瑞秋你逃婚之后是我一直在支持你I put a roof over your head! 我让你有地方住If that means nothing to you.... 如果这样对你仍毫无意义...Twenty dollars an hour. 一小时二十元Done. 成交Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? 欢迎光临莫妮卡家我能帮您拿外套吗- Hi, Steve. - Hello, Monica. -嗨史提夫 -嗨莫妮卡Hello, greeter girl. 你好招待小姐- This is Rachel. - Yeah, okay. -她叫瑞秋 -好吧随便Everything smells so delicious. 味道好香I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of我已忘记上次闻到这种美味的混合物是...Okay, smells. 好吧香味- It's a lovely apartment. - Thank you. Would you like a tour? -这房子真漂亮 -谢谢想参观一下吗I was just being polite, but all right. 我只是客套一下但好吧- What's up? - In the cab on the way over... -怎么了 -坐计程车来时...Steve blazed up a doobie. 史提夫抽了一根大麻烟What? 什么- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. -抽了一根大麻之类的... -好了我懂- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok.电影《大麻双人组》中主角之一I'm with you, Cheech. 我跟你统一战线切奇Is it dry in here? 这里很干燥吗Let me get you some wine. 我来为您倒杯酒I think we're ready for our first course too. 我们可以上第一道菜了These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... 这些是石虾小方饺蘸芫萎调味酱...with just a touch of minced... 加上一点点......ginger. 碎姜Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! 打我屁股叫我朱蒂吧- These are fantastic! - Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them. -真是太好吃了 -我真高兴你喜欢Like them? I could eat 100 of them! 喜欢吗我可以吃下上百个That's all there is of these... 只有这一些...but in a few minutes, we'll serve some delicious onion tartlets.但再过8分半就有美味的洋葱馅饼吃"Tartlets?" "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼..."Word has lost all meaning. 文字都已失去意义Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? 请问需要任何帮忙吗You know, I don't know what I'm looking for. 你看我也不知道自己在找什么Cool! Taco shells! 酷墨西哥馅饼They're like a little corn envelope, you know? 这个就像是玉米卷饼一样你懂吗- You don't wanna spoil your appetite. - Hey, Sugar-O's! -你不该影响食欲 -糖片You know, if you just wait another 6 1/2 minutes 你知道吗再等6分钟半Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! 干酪通心面我们要做这个- No, we don't. - Oh, okay. -不我们不做 -哦好吧Sorry. 抱歉Why don't you just have a seat here? 我们何不坐这儿- Give me the gummy bears. - No. -小熊软糖给我 -不- Give them to me. - We'll share. -把它们给我 -好吧分你一半- No. Give me the bears. - Then you can't have any. -不小熊给我 -那就一点不分你- Give them to me! - It's not worth it! -把他们给我 -这样不值得Bears overboard! They're drowning! 小熊落水了他们快淹死了Hey, fellas, grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! 伙计们抓住糖片逃命啊Help! Help, I'm drowning! 救命啊....我溺水了- That's it! Dinner is over! - What! Why? -我受够了晚餐结束 -什么为什么Why? 为什么I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... 这种机会我已等了七年...and you can't wait 4 1/2 minutes for a stupid tartlet?而你却等不了四分半钟之后再吃洋葱馅饼You don't wanna work for that guy like that. 你不会想为那种人工作的I know, I just thought that this was it. 我知道我只是以为我的机会来了You get it. You're an amazing chef. 不要担心你是个了不起的厨师Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. 那些赞美的声音我不是装的So, how did it go with Celia? 和希莉亚的状况如何- I was unbelievable. - All right, Ross! -简直是不可思议 -干得好罗斯I was the James Michener of dirty talk. 我是讲下流话的行家It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. 那简直是天下最具巧思的下流话I mean, there were characters, plot lines, 有人物主线themes, a motif. 剧情主题At one point, there were villagers. 其中一段连村民都冒出来了And? 然后呢By the time we finished all the dirty talk it was kind of late 下流话讲完后已经有点晚了and we were kind of exhausted, so... 而且我们也有点没劲了所以- You cuddled. - Yeah, which was nice. -你们爱抚 -那种感觉好好Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? 你们想看晚场电影吗Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler? 或许吧但我们不是该等钱德勒吗Where the hell is he? 他到底跑哪儿去了Yes, friends, I know what time it is... 对朋友我知道现在几点...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! 但我看着"周净计" 它让我相当不高兴Let me tell you something. 我跟你讲清楚You will care about it because I care about it. 你会在乎的因为我在乎Got it? Good! 明白了吗很好How's this? 这样如何Sorry. How about over here? 不好意思这边呢That means it's working. 这就说明有效果了.- Does this hurt? - No. -痛不痛 -不痛.How about this? 这样呢There you go! 这就对了I'm gonna throw up! 我快吐了!第一季第十五集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。
Chandler! Chandler! 钱德！钱德I saw what you were doing in the window! 钱德，我从窗户看见了I saw what you're doing to my sister! Get out here! 我看见你在对我妹做什么了你给我出来Listen,we had a good run. 听着，我们玩得很开心What was it? Four,five months? 总共4个月？5个月？That's more than most people have in a lifetime. Goodbye. 比很多人一辈子加起来都久再见，保重，再见了-What are you doing? -I am going on the lam. 你干什么？我要落跑Come on,Chandler. I can handle Ross. 过来，我应付得了罗斯Hold on! 等一下Hey,Ross. What's up,bro? 罗斯老哥，你好吗？What the hell are you doing? 你干了什么好事？What's going on? 发生什么事了？I think Ross knows about me and Monica. 我想… 罗斯发现我和摩妮卡的事了Dude,he's right there. 他人就在那里I thought you were my best friend! This is my sister! 我以为你是我最好的朋友这是我妹妹My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this! 我最要好的朋友和我妹妹我真不敢相信We're not just messing around. I love her. 我们不是玩玩而已，我爱她I'm in love with her. 我爱着她I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. 抱歉让你这样发现I'm sorry, but it's true. I love him too. 对不起，但是真的，我也爱他My best friend and my sister! 我最要好的朋友和我妹妹I cannot believe this! 我真不敢相信You guys want to probably get some hugs in too. Big news! 你们也想抱抱吧？大消息喔We've actually known for a while. 我们知道一阵子了What? You guys knew? 什么？你们知道？You all knew and you didn't tell me? 你们都知道，却没告诉我？We were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react. 我们很担心你不知道你会有什么反应You were worried about me? 你们担心我？You didn't know how I'd react? 不知道我会有什么反应？Okay. All right. 好吧Let's clear out of here and let these lovebirds get back to business. 我们要不要清个场让这对小情人继续办事？I'm just talking here. He's the one doing your sister. 我只是说说，上你妹妹的是他The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey 本集播出：“情海生波”34 “中央咖啡馆”You know what I just realized? 你们猜我想到什么If you guys have kids 要是你们生了小孩…We're having kids? 我们生小孩？I call godfather! 教父是我的You can't just call godfather. 哪能这样用说的Shouldn't her brother be godfather? 你不觉得应该由她哥哥当吗？Sure. If you cared enough to call it first. 当然，你有心就应该先喊-You're a few steps ahead of us. -Big zero gravity moon steps. 你们想得太远了十万八千里的远I just thought of the greatest wedding gift. 我刚想到一样最棒的结婚礼物I'll go in on that with you. I couldn't decide. 我跟你送，我什么都想不到Hey,Katie. 凯蒂This is Katie. 各位，这是凯蒂You ready to go? 可以走了吗？I'll run to the bathroom. 可以，我先上个厕所往后走Where's lunch? 我们午餐要吃什么？I was thinking Chinese food. 我想吃中国菜I love Chinese! 我最爱吃中国菜了How did you know I love Chinese? 你怎么知道我爱吃中国菜？She is so cute. 她真可爱，You could fit her in your pocket. 可以塞进口袋里She could fit in that little pocket inside the pocket. 可以塞进口袋的小口袋里I don't know. I like her a lot, and she's really nice,but.... 我不知道，我很喜欢她她人很好，但是…But what? 但是怎样？She keeps punching me. 她老爱打我In the cute,little sweet way she just did? 用她刚才那种可爱的方式？It's a lot harder than it looks. 力道比表面上大多了，好吗？She's hurting me. 她把我打痛了I know what you need. You need a bodyguard. 我知道了，你需要保镖What is Ben doing after preschool? 罗斯，班下课之后有事吗？Joey is having a problem. A little girl is beating him up. 别这样，乔伊有烦恼他被个小女孩揍了Joey,come here. 乔伊，过来Honey,I know. This must be really difficult for you,and 我知道你一定非常难受…I'm sorry,am I hurting you? 抱歉，我握痛你了吗？I brought you some housewarming gifts. 我带了乔迁之礼来Salt, so your life always has flavor. 盐，让你的生活有味Bread, so you never go hungry. 面包，让你永不饥饿And a scented candle for the bathroom. 浴室用香精蜡烛Because,well,you know. 你知道的Thanks. Thanks. And thanks,I guess. 谢谢，谢谢…再次感谢Welcome. I'm Steve Cera, president of the tenants' committee. 欢迎你搬进来我是史提夫沙拉，管委会主席Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe. 你好，我是罗斯盖勒这是我朋友菲比Mr. President. 你好主席先生I came to talk to you about Howard. 我来跟你谈霍华的事He is the handyman who's retiring next week. 霍华？他是这里的杂工，下星期退休Everyone who lives here is kicking in $100 as a kind of a thank you.这里的住户决定每人交1百元感谢他多年来的辛劳That's nice. 真有人情味Yeah. So, do you want to give me a check? 是啊，所以你想开支票还是…Not now. You can slip it under my door. 你不必现在给我你可以塞进我家门口No,it's not that. 不是那样的I just moved in. 我才刚搬来Well,the guy's worked here for 25 years. 他在这里工作了25年Yes,but I've lived here for 25 minutes. 但我才搬进来25分钟Okay,I get it. 好，我懂了Wait! Look, I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard. 等等，我很抱歉但我甚至没见过霍华I mean, I don't know Howard. 我不认识霍华Howard's the handyman. 霍华是杂务工人Yes,but to me,he's just "man." 但对我来说他只是个人Okay. Fine. Whatever. 好，随便Welcome to the building. 欢迎你搬进来Can you believe that guy? 真是有够扯的I really like his glasses. 是啊，我很喜欢他的眼镜So then President Steve told everyone I was a cheapskate... 史提夫主席逢人就说我吝啬...and now the whole building hates me. 现在整栋楼的人都讨厌我A little kid spit on my knee. 有小孩朝我的膝盖吐口水And told me to wipe it off with my $100 bill. 还叫我用百元大钞去擦You really should wipe it off with something. 你是该擦一下You know what? 你们猜怎样？I'll throw a party. For everyone in the building. 我要办一场派对邀请整栋楼的人And I'll sit them all down and explain that I am not a bad guy. 我要请他们坐下，告诉他们我不是坏人I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy... 不是吝啬我只是个......who stands up for what he believes in. ...坚持理念A man with principles. 有原则的人Sounds like a fun party. 听起来真好玩If you want them to like you, why don't you just pay the $100? 罗斯，如果你希望邻居喜欢你为什么不付钱算了？The party will cost you more. 办一场派对更花钱That doesn't matter! 那不重要It's my principles! We're talking about my principles! 这是原则问题重点是我的原则I thought it was about your neighbors liking you. 好，我以为重点是讨邻居喜欢They'll like me once they come to my awesome party. 等他们参加过我的派对就会喜欢我了I gotta get some nametags. 我得走了，我要去买名牌And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law. 那个派对动物会是你的大舅子Very funny. But don't say that to Monica. 真幽默，但别对着摩妮卡讲Don't put any ideas in her head. 别让她有那些念头You do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head? 钱德，你应该知道她可能本来就有那种念头了Why? 为什么？Well,because she loves you and because you love her. 因为她爱你，你也爱她Yeah,so? What's that supposed to mean? 那又怎样呢？Don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know. 你不要被吓到我只是在讲你知道的事She left Richard because he didn't want to have babies. 她因理查不要小孩而跟他分手And she is a woman. And she's almost 30. And, you know, it's Monica. 她是个女人，快30了而且她是摩妮卡I don't see it that way. I see two Monicas. 我不是那样看的我看到两个摩妮卡My friend who lives across the hall and wants a lot of babies. 朋友的摩妮卡住在对面想生一大堆小孩And the new Monica who I started to date. 另一个新的摩妮卡刚跟我交往Now,who is to say what she wants? 谁晓得她想要什么？I'm right. 我说得没错Am I right? 我说得没错吧？Oh,absolutely. 当然I'm completely different from Richard. 而且情况完全不同He's an eye doctor, and I don't wear glasses. 理查是眼科医生我连眼镜都没戴You're right. 你说得对You're absolutely right. That makes everything different. 你说得一点也没错情况确实完全不同It's not different,is it? 一点也没有不同对吧？Not unless different means "the same." 除非不同等于一样You were so funny with that waiter. You're such a nut! 你跟那个服务生好逗喔你真是个疯子You know,bread-stick fangs are always funny. 扮吸血鬼本来就好笑No,you make them funny. You're the funny one! 是你让它变好笑的，是你好笑Look,Katie. Listen, we need to talk, okay? 凯蒂，我们得沟通一下Look,I like you. I really do. I like you a lot. 我喜欢你，我真的很喜欢你But sometimes when you playfully punch me like that... 但当你开玩笑打我...it feels like I'm being hit with a very tiny but a very real bat! 感觉就像被一根很小但很结实的球棒打到Like I could hurt you. 我哪能把你打痛Are you making fun of my size? 你在取笑我的身材吗？Don't make fun of me because of my size! 不要取笑我的身材Isn't this great? 这种感觉真好Couldn't you just stay like this forever? 真想永远这样Couldn't you just stay here forever? 钱德？你想不想永远这样？Yeah, here, somewhere else. You know,wherever. 这样，那样，哪样都可以Are you okay? 你还好吗？I'm cool. 我很好Casual. 很随性What are you doing? 你在干什么？Just hanging out. Having fun with the girl that I'm seeing casually. 只是随便混混玩玩跟你随性的交往Man,I knew it! I knew you'd do this. 我就知道，我就知道你会这样What? 怎样？Get all freaked out because everybody was joking about marriage!被大家讨论和开玩笑的事吓到Well,you do want all that stuff,right? 你的确想要那些事吧？You know what I want? 你知道我想要什么？Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever! 没错，你想要小孩你有孩子狂I do not have baby fever! 我才没有孩子狂You're obsessed with babies and marriage... 拜托，你超迷恋小孩和婚姻...and everything that's related to babies and marriage. 和一切跟小孩和婚姻有关的事Why don't we turn the heat down on this pressure cooker! 我有个提议让这个压力锅减压一下吧Have you lost your mind? 你疯了吗？This isn't about me. This is about you and your weird commitment crap! 这不是我的问题是你不敢做出承诺I know you. I know the thoughts that you have in your head. 少来，我暸解你我知道你脑袋里在想什么You don't know everything. 你并非什么都知道Did you know I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you?你知道我今晚要跟瑞秋出去吗And that the only baby here is you? 你知道最幼稚的是你吗？Did you know I can't even look at you now? 你知道我连看都不想看你吗？I did not know that. 那我倒是不知道It'll be okay, right? She won't leave me. This is fixable. 不会有事吧？她不会离开我吧这是可以解决的-Yeah,sure. -Absolutely. 当然By me? 我可以解决?Unless you make some big gesture. 除非你有大动作Big,though. 要非常大The missus! 女主角来了Gunther, can I get a coffee? 阿甘，我要一杯咖啡To go. 外带I still don't want to talk to you. 我还不想跟你说话Tell me how to make things right. 告诉我怎样弥补That's what we do. 什么？我们都这样I mess up,you tell me how to fix it and I do. 我做错事你教我怎么补救，我补救完And then you think I'm cute again. 你又觉得我很可爱I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. 我不想再当你的爱情指导了Figure this out for yourself. 这次你得自己想，好吗？If you're afraid of a real relationship... 如果你懒得好好经营感情...then don't be in one. 就别谈感情（欢迎）就别谈感情（罗斯）就别谈感情（盖勒博士）就别谈感情Howard! Howard! Howard! 霍华、霍华…菲比？菲比霍华、霍华…Hi,Ross! 罗斯What are you doing here? 你在干什么？I thought this was your party, and it's a party for Howard. 我以为这是你的派对结果是替霍华办的派对He's the sweetest little man. 他真是个老可爱See you,Phoebe. And thanks for chipping in. 菲比再见，谢谢你出钱Oh,sure. 不客气You chipped in? 你出了钱？Yeah,$100. 对，1百块钱I can't believe you gave him money. 你居然给他们钱I thought you agreed it was unreasonable that they asked me for that money.你不是也同意他们要我出钱是很不合理的？But they didn't ask me. 对，但他们没有要我出I'm just the exotic,generous stranger. That's always fun to be. 当性感大方的陌生人最好玩了But you're making me look bad. 但你让我很难看No,I'm not! If anything, I'm making you look better. 谁说的，我是在帮你加分They'll see you talking to me. I'm a hit. 他们会看见你在跟我说话我又很红Hey,Phoebe! 菲比Hey,Ross. 罗斯，Maybe you two could switch apartments. 你们或许可以交换住处Because Phoebe is more our kind of people. 菲比跟我们比较搭轧Think about it. 你考虑一下Okay,my bad. 是我不好You look big. 哇，你看起来好壮Thanks,I've been working out. 谢谢，最近有在练Listen,is it obvious I'm wearing six sweaters? 看得出来我穿六件毛衣吗？Yeah. But it's not obvious why. 看得出来，但看不出来为什么I'm breaking up with Katie, so I put on some extra padding. 我要跟凯蒂分手所以得多加几层护垫If she hits me when she is happy, can you imagine how hard she'll hit... 她平常高兴就会打我现在我要收回乔伊之爱...when I take away the Joey love? 她岂不是打得更用力？Oh,right. I forgot that you call it that. 我都忘记你的乔伊之爱了Hey,cute jacket. 好可爱的外套Thanks. 谢谢-That's so sweet! -Ouch! 你真好Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys are too much! 是乔伊要你叫的吗？你们真是够了You know what? I gotta tell you... 你知道吗？说真的...I think you're the one that is too much. 我觉得你才够了Joey has the nicest friends. 乔伊的朋友真棒And the nicest girlfriend. 女朋友更棒You're so sweet! 你真好You're so sweet! 你才好She just kicked me. 乔伊，她踢我Aren't you going to do something? 你不替我出头吗？Do something or I'll walk out that door right now. 你最好替我出头否则我现在就走人Are you going to? 你要不要？不要你要不要？Phoebe? 菲比That's what I'm saying. 我就是这个意思Phoebe? Phoebe? 菲比？菲比This is a disaster. Can't I please just go? 这真是人间地狱我走了好不好？I'm talking you up to people. 不行，我正在帮你说好话Give it some time, relax. Get something to eat. 再等一下下放轻松，拿东西吃，好吗？What did you tell them about me? 你跟他们说了什么？I told them about you and Emily. Trying to get some sympathy. 我说了你和艾蜜莉的事好争取同情心But you came off as the bad guy. 但讲一讲你成了坏人Yeah, I think I told it wrong. 我想我说的方式不对We should talk about that because I don't understand what happened there. 我们应该先聊聊我不太知道前因后果This cake is really good! 这个蛋糕真好吃Things are looking up. 看吧？情况已经在好转了Oh,my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! 天哪，有人切了霍华的蛋糕Who would do a thing like that? 谁会做这种低级的事？3B. 3BYou got your free food. You ruined everyone's fun. 你白吃白喝，扫了大家的兴Isn't it time you went home? 是不是该回家了？Yeah, get out! Now! 没错，快滚Go back to 3B,3B. 回3B去，3BEveryone,calm down! I have something that I'd like to say. 大家安静一下，我有话要说Who here likes Ross? 这里有谁喜欢罗斯？Of course you don't like him. 你们当然不喜欢他He didn't give you any money. 他不交钱He raised his own hand when I asked, "Who likes Ross?" 我问有谁喜欢他，他自己举手And he's wearing two nametags. 他还贴两个名牌I'll be honest. When I first met Ross, I didn't like him at all. 老实说，刚开始我也不喜欢他Once I got to know him, I saw that he is really sweet... 但暸解他之后我就发现他很好... ...and caring and very generous. ...很大方All I'm saying is,don't judge Ross before you get to know him. 请不要还不暸解他就论断他You know,I like all of you guys now. But when I first met you, you know? 我现在很喜欢你们但是刚见面时Kurt? I thought, abrasive drunk. 寇特，粗鲁的酒鬼Lola? 萝拉Mind-numbingly stupid. 笨得令人傻眼You guys. Gold digger, cradle-robbing perv. 还有你们淘金女，老牛吃嫩草的变态So I think you all know what I mean. 你们懂我的意思吧Obviously, I didn't think they would throw things. 我没想到他们会扔东西I thought if I kept insulting them you'd defend them. 我想说我一直羞辱他们你就会跳出来帮他们Then you'd look like the hero. 你就可以变成英雄对喔See,I did not get that. 太深奥了Where's Monica? I need to talk to her, it's urgent. 摩妮卡呢？我有急事找她她在吗？I'm Monica. 我就是摩妮卡I need to talk to you. It's urgent. 我有急事要找你好I've been thinking... 我想了很多......about us. A lot of "us" thinking. 我们的事… 你和我的事I guess there's only one way to do this. 我猜只有一个办法What are you doing? 你要干什么？Don't do it. 摩妮卡… 拜托不要Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗？What a bad idea. 毁了什么馊主意I can't not look at it. 我不敢看Why are you doing this? 钱德，你为什么要这样？I don't know. 我不知道But I know I'm not afraid to do this. 但是我知道我不怕I'm doing this because I'm sorry? 钱德因为我很抱歉？Do you think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?你真的觉得结婚的最好理由是因为你很抱歉？The best reason is pregnancy. 不，最好的理由是奉子成婚Sorry is fourth,behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. 抱歉大约排第四在准备好了跟真的想结婚后面Will you be my wife? 你愿意做我的妻子吗？I want you to take a minute and think about how ridiculous this sounds. 钱德，你先静下来想想这件事有多荒谬I'm kind of wishing everyone wasn't here now. 我的确有点希望他们都不在None of that came from me. 这些事都不是我扯出来的I never said I wanted to have babies and get married! 我从来没说现在就想结婚生子I was really confused. Then I talked to these guys. 但我真的很乱后来又跟他们谈过Who? Two divorces and Joey? 离婚两次的人和乔伊？She's right,you know? 她说得对Yeah,but still, cheap shot! 但这种奚落算什么？You know when I said that I want you... 你知道吗？...to deal with relationship stuff all on your own? 我不是要你自己想该怎么做?You're not ready. 你还做不到这一点I didn't think I was! 我也这么认为Oh,my God. 天哪What would you have done if I had said yes? 要是我答应了呢？I would've been happy because... 那我会很开心...I would spend the rest of my life with the woman I love. 能跟心爱的人共度下半生Or you would have seen a Chandler-shaped hole in that door. 又或者你会在那扇门上看到我的人形洞Will you pass that knife? 罗斯，请把刀子给我No,I will not. 我才不要You don't have to be mean about it. 你不必这么凶吧You're right. I'm sorry. Will you marry me? 你说得对，对不起嫁给我好吗？I was going to ask you to marry me because I didn't say hello to you. 我正想向你求婚因为我上星期忘了跟你打招呼Or ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure. Chandler? 那种情况应该只需要同居但我也不确定，钱德？How long is this going to go on? 好，我还要被笑多久？I think the length of teasing... 那得看......is directly related to how insane you were. So a long time. ...你做的事有多扯所以…会很久This is fun! 真好玩Remember that "we were on a break" thing? 记得“我们分手了”风波吗？I'm sorry. Will you marry me? 我很抱歉，嫁给我好吗？That's not funny. 不好笑冷死了。
Guys,look! Ugly Naked Guy's putting stuff in boxes.I'd say our naked buddy is moving.Ironically,most of the boxes seem to be labeled "Clothes."I'm going to miss that big old squishy butt.And we're done with the chicken fried rice.If he's moving,maybe I should try to get his place!It would be so cool to live across from you guys.We could do that telephone thing......where you have a can, we have a can......and it's connected by a string.Or we could do the actual telephone thing.He's got packing tape stuck to where you really don't want it.Get it off,fat man! Get it off!Oh,no,he's trying to pull it off slowly.Take it from me,if you're gonna pull tape off yourself,it's gotta be in one quick motion. Like that.The One Where Everyone Finds Out18Isn't it perfect?I can't believe I never realized how great it is!Because your eye goes to the big naked man.It's amazing!Hurry up with an application, or I'll beat you to it.Well,I'm going to use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom.Look! There's Monica and Chandler.Hey,you guys! Hey.Chandler and Monica!Oh,my God!钱德和摩妮卡！Oh,my eyes!My eyes!It's okay!-They're doing it! -I know!-I know! -You know?Yes,I know it. Joey knows, but Ross doesn't,so stop screaming! What's going on?-What? -Nothing!We are so excited that you'll get this apartment!Looks really good.Looks pretty good!Get in here! Come on!中央咖啡馆You mean whenever Monica and Chandler......were doing laundry or going grocery shopping?The time Monica spent on the phone with Linda from camp? Doing it,doing it,phone,doing it.I can't believe it!I think it's great. For him.She could do better.Hey,you guys.Come here! What?Phoebe found out about Monica and Chandler.You mean how they're friends and nothing more?Joey, she knows.We saw them doing it through the window.Actually,we saw them doing it up against the window.We saw them fornicating.So they know you know, and they don't know that Rachel knows? Yes,but it doesn't matter who knows what.Now enough of us know that we could just tell them we know. All the lying and the secrets will finally be over.Or,we could not tell them we know, and have a little fun.What do you mean?If they say they are doing laundry, we'll give them laundry to do.I would enjoy that.You know what would be even more fun? Telling them.-That doesn't sound like fun. -So we'll make it fun.We'll do it like a barbershop quartet!We know,we know,we knowNo,I want to do Phoebe's thing.I can't takeYou don't have to do anything. Just don't tell them we know. No. I can't take anymore secrets.I got your secrets,their secrets, secrets of my own.You don't have any secrets.Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. How are we going to mess with them?You could use your position as the roommate.And I would use the strongest tool at my disposal. My sexuality.Hello,children.Watch. Learn. And don't eat my cookie.That jacket looks great on you.-Really? -The material is so soft.Hello,Mr. Bicep.You're working out?I try to squeeze things.Are you okay?If you really want to knowI can't tell you this.You can tell me anything.Actually,you are the one person I can't tell this to. And the one person I want to the most.What's going on?I just haven't been with a guy in so long......and sometimes you're looking for something... ...and it's right there in front of you,sipping coffee.... Oh,no. Have I said too much?Just something to think about. I know I will.You are so cute.How did you get to be so cute?My grandfather was Swedish.And my grandmother was a tiny little bunny.Now you're even cuter.-You know,that is a popular opinion today,I must say. -What?The weirdest thing happened at the coffeehouse.I think Phoebe was hitting on me.What are you talking about?I'm telling you I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy.It's not possible.I'm sorry,Phoebe's just always thought you were charming......in a sexless kind of way.You know,I can't hear that enough.I'm sorry, I just think you misunderstood her.No, I didn't,okay? She was all over me.She touched my bicep, for crying out loud.This bicep?Well,it's not flexed right now.Why is it so hard for you to believe that Phoebe could be attracted to me? It's not.All the girls are attracted to you.You're part bunny.Mon, What are you doing now? you want to come see a movie with us? Actually,I was going to do some laundry.Want to do it with me?Sure,I'll do it with you.Okay,great. Hold on a second.Here you go.That would really help me out a lot. Thanks.You know what? I don't have enough quarters.I have quarters!Great. Now we can do laundry all night. All night laundry!Hey,any word on the apartment yet?I called there,and it turns out Naked Guy is subletting it.He's already had 100 applicants.-Oh,man. -No,no,it's okay.Because you know what the difference between them and me is?Your history of bedwetting?Hey,I trusted you,man!Anyway,the difference is......I've got the edge.It's not exactly ethical, but I sent him a bribe......to tip the scales in my direction.You can see it from the window.-Is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it? -No.-That new mountain bike? -No.What did you send?A basket of mini muffins.There's a whole table of them. Which one did you send?The small one.You actually thought that basket was going to get you the apartment? Someone sent us a basket at work, and people went crazy over those muffins. It was the best day.Your work makes me sad.Oh, man, I want that place so much!And I was so sure that was going to work.There's 12 bucks I'll never see again.We'd better go if we want to catch that movie.Bye.Bye, Chandler. I miss you already.Did you see that? The inappropriate, and the pinching?Actually,I did.So do you believe that she's attracted to me?Oh,my God! She knows about us!Are you serious?She knows,and she's trying to freak us out!That's the only explanation!But what about my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps?She knows!Joey!Yeah?Phoebe knows about us.I didn't tell them!Them?Who's "them"?Phoebe and Joey.Joey!And Rachel.I would have told you, but I promised not to tell.I'm sorry.But it's over now,right?You can tell them you know they know, and I can go back to knowing nothing!UnlessNot "unless"! This must end now!They think they are so slick messing with us.But they don't know that we know that they know.SoThe messers become the messees!Come on, you guys. Think how much fun it would be to tell.We know,we know,we knowWhat?Oh, that wasn't you.Honey,you got to stop torturing yourself.Why don't you find another apartment?I've already looked at 1000 apartments this month.None of them even compares to that one.Well,except for one,but I would have had to share it with an Armenian family. Grandma really liked me.But I want Ugly Naked apartment!You know what you should do?You should find out his hobbies and use that to bond with him.Like if I wanted something from Joey......I would strike up a conversation about sandwiches......or my underwear.I'm listening.That is a great idea!And I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for five years. So that gives me back my edge!Let's see now. He had the trampoline.He broke that.-He had gravity boots. -He broke those too.So he likes to break stuff.I've got to go pick up Ben. But I will figure something out. Didn't he used to have a cat?I wouldn't bring that up. It would bum him out.Poor cat never saw that big butt coming.喂？Hold on a second, she's right here.It's Chandler.Hello,you.Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day.You know that thing you said before? I was intrigued. Really?Joey won't be here tonight.Why don't you come over? I'll let you feel my bicep.Or maybe more.I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye.He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more! -Are you kidding? -No!I cannot believe he would do that to MonJoey? Do they know that we know?-No. -Joey!They know you know.I knew it!I would say,"Thank God! Everybody knows! It's finally over!"But that hasn't been working for me.I cannot believe those two!They thought they could mess with us? Trying to mess with us?They don't know that we know they know we know.Joey,you can't say anything.Couldn't if I wanted to.Good evening,sir. I'm Ross Geller. I'm one of the applicants.I realize that the competition is fierce but....I'm sorry, I can't help but notice that you're naked.I applaud you.Man,I wish I was naked.I mean,this looks so great.That is how God intended it.Look. They're panicked!They'll totally back down.If he wants a date, he's going to get a date.I'm going to go in.Be sexy.Please.I'd love to come by tonight.Really?Absolutely. Say,around 7?Yes.Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse. Hey,check it out!Naked Guy's got a naked friend.Oh, yeah.Oh,my God! That's our friend!It's Naked Ross!Would you like another mini muffin?Try the blueberry,they're delicious.Showtime!-Rachel,get me perfume. -Ok.Joey, can you get me a bottle of wine and glasses?All right,thanks,but glasses that do not have handles and that are glass.And wine that is not olive oil.You just make her think you want to have sex with her and it will freak her out. How far am I gonna have to go with her?Relax, she'll give in way before you do.How do you know?Because you're on my team. My team always wins.At this?Just go get some! Go!Now,I'm going to try to listen from right here.Oh,wait.Good idea.Don't give away the farm.菲比Come on in.I was going to.I brought some wine. Would you like some?Sure.So here we are.Nervous?Me? No. You?I want this to happen.So do l.I'm going to put on some music.Joey likes to scare the duck.Maybe I'll dance for you.You look good.Thanks.You know,when you say things like that,it makes me......want to rip that sweater vest right off.Why don't we move into the bedroom?Really?Do you not want to?First I want to take off all my clothes......and have you rub lotion on me.That would be nice.I'll go get the lotion.It's way out of hand. She wants me to put lotion on her!-She's bluffing! -She's not backing down.She went like thisHe's not backing down. He went to get lotion.It's Chandler. You can take him.Come on. Don't you remember when you made him cry using only your words?Aren't you guys done yet?I want to sit in my chair!The sooner Phoebe breaks him,the sooner it's over and out in the open.I like that.Show him your bra. He's afraid of bras. Can't work them.Joey!You didn't rip off any buttons.It's not my first time.Go back there and seduce her till she cracks!Give me a second.-Did you clean up in here? -Of course!You're going?Not without you,lover.So this is my bra.It's very,very nice.Well,come here.I'm very happy we're going to have all the sex.You should be. I'm very bendy.I'll kiss you now.Not if I kiss you first.I guess there's nothing left for us to do but kiss.Here it comes.Our first kiss.You win!I can't have sex with you!-And why not? -I'm in love with Monica!You're what?Love her! That's right！I...LOVE...HER!I love her!I love you,Monica.I love you too,Chandler.I thought you were doing it. I didn't know you were in love! Dude!Hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor.May I say your breasts are still showing.God.All right! So that's it?It's over. Everybody knows!Actually,Ross doesn't.We'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.Well,here it is.A new place for a new Ross.I'll have you and the guys from work over, once it's furnished.I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.I am that, and the whole rage thing is definitely behind me.I wonder if it's time for you to rejoin our museum team? That would be great.I am totally ready to come back to work. I...What? No!What are you doing?Get off my sister!。
1.I t’s j u s t s o m e g u y I w o r k w i t h他不过是我的同事2.There has something wrong with him 这个人肯定有问题3.So does he have a hump and a hairpiece? 他既驼背又带假发？4.I don’t want her to go through what I did with Carl 我只是不想她重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙5.I’ve had that dream 我也做过那种梦6.Then I look down and I realize there is a phone 我低头一看，看见一部电话7.Carol moved her stuff out today 卡罗今天搬走了他的东西8.to hell with her 去她的9.you never knew she was a lesbian? 你一直不知道她是同性恋？10.Why does everyone keep fixating fikseit on that? 为什么老是提这件事11.How should I know 我怎么知道12.You’re feeling a lot of pain right now你现在感到很痛苦13.I don’t want to be single, okay? 我不想单身14.decaf di:kæf不含咖啡因的15.bridesmaid braɪdz me d伴娘16.I realized I was more turned on by… than…我发现我对。
比。
更感兴趣17.I always knew he looked familiar 我总觉得他很眼熟18.He brought her ..and she’s rea lly not happy about it 他给她买了个。
Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?Monica and I are celebrating our 10-month anniversary.Got reservations at Jean-George.How'd you get in?Made a few calls, pulled some strings......and they'll seat us if we both have chicken and don't get dessert. -Hi,Chandler. -Hey,Caitlin.Somebody got a haircut.I hate it. I look like an 8-year-old boy.If that was true, gym class would've been more interesting.-It's $27 even. -Okay. Here you go.Where's the chicken?It's in the back. The duck pissed him off.He said that eggs came first.-Thanks. I'll see you later. -Bye.What the hell was that?-What? -The flirting.Aren't you supposed to be going out with, let's see, my sister?I wasn't flirting.It was totally flirting! "Somebody got a haircut...."First of all, the impression? Uncanny.Second, that wasn't flirting. That was just casual conversation. Yeah, right.You wanna see flirting? I'll show you.I'm good.The One Where Ross Can't Flirt29-He's gonna be on Law and Order! -I know.Don't you think it should be called Order and Law?No,because they arrest the guy and then try him.Don't get me started on that.-I was not flirting. -And on your anniversary. For shame!What's going on?He was hitting on the hot delivery girl.I was not. And oh, God!You were. If anyone should be hitting on her......it's the guy who's single......the guy who can do something about it.Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?Ross, we broke up two years ago. You've been married since then.I think it's okay that we see other people.I was watching her at the pizza place.And she was just so sexy and funny and has the cutest littleWe don't need her measurements.Pepperoni,pepperoni,pepperoni.She's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?She forgot my vegetarian.This is perfect. She'll have to come back here with your pizza. And when she does, I will turn on the charm "au" Ross.I am so glad you don't eat meat.See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.Hey,everybody,look who's here! You remember my grandmother. -Big night! -Yeah,it's so cool.Joey on Law and Order. You must be proud.She doesn't understand a word of English.I thought you were Joey's other grandmother.I've done it again.Nonnie's my biggest fan.She's the only one in the family who's always believed in me. Si. Big star.My big fat Joey star.Yeah,I weighed,like, 27 pounds when I was born.-Happy anniversary! -Happy anniversary,10 months.In the shower I was thinking about our first night in London. Joey's grandmother's right there.-The one who speaks English? -The one who doesn't.That was some hot love you gave me.-I'll get ready. -Wear those earrings I got you.That's a great idea. I was saving them for something special.-You've got to go home. -But I like it here.Get the earrings you borrowed. He wants me to wear them.I think they're in my purse. Go get dressed and I'll look for them.I need those earrings you borrowed.Yeah,I'll be right back.Phoebe,you speak ltalian?I guess so.-Here you go. -Thanks. Where's the other one?Oh,what, you want both of them? That's a little greedy, don't you think? Rachel Karen Greene, where's the other one?Look, just don't freak out, but I kind of lost it.I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.What'll I tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight.-Tell her to wear her own earrings. -These are her earrings.不会吧…You lent me her earrings? I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!-Why not? -Because I lose her stuff!You see that blind guy? I'm gonna bash his head in later.My big scene's coming up. The big scene coming up.If you said, "Big lima bean bubbling up," would she know the difference? What are you doing?Oh, I just can't watch. It's too scary.It's a diaper commercial.Yeah,well,you know me. Babies,responsibilities....-Pizza delivery. -I'll get it! I will get that!How does my hair look?Ross,it hasn't moved since 1996.One vegetarian pizza. It's 12.50.By the way,if it makes you feel any better......I happen to like 8-year-old boys.What?Your hair. Before. Your hair.You said you thought your hair looked like an 8-year-old boy's......and I'm just saying I like it.The hair.Thanks.You understand,I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.All I'm looking for is the money.Here you go. Stop bringing us pizzas,you.I'm gonna try.You're welcome.You couldn't let me have her, could you?This is a girl I really like, and you had to swoop in there!What?Chandler was flirting with the hot delivery girl.Thank you for that.I was not flirting.It's okay. I don't care. That's fine.Really?It's no big deal. I do it all the time.You flirt with guys all the time?It doesn't mean anything. Just like it doesn't mean anything with you. There's a difference. You're a lot hotter.True story.This actually bothers you?Yes, and I think it'd bother a lot of people.When you and Ross dated......did it bother you when he flirted with other women?No,it bothered me when he slept with other women.And thank you for that.I never had to worry.He was never good at the flirting thing.What?What are you talking about? It worked with you.No, you're right.We met,you flirted and then bam! Nine years later, you had me. All right.You know what I'll do? I'll order another pizza.And when Caitlin gets here......I will show you how well I flirt.I will get her phone number.And not the one on the menu.-I found it. -Thank God! Where was it?On your dresser.Okay, that is the one we already have.Here's my big scene. My big scene's here.-Wanna bet nobody heard anything? -No bet.Anybody home?-Oh,my God. -What?Everybody keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out. What is it?They cut me out of the show.What?-Are you sure? -Maybe your scene's coming up.Not likely. Because you see that body bag right there?I'm in it.This is terrible. What'll you do?I don't know. This little old lady lives for my career.When they dumped me off Days of Our Lives,she almost died. That's not good.-Yeah,we had to get her a home nurse. -Oh,my God.Yeah, she almost died and got really expensive.You're not smiling. Not that face! Everybody smile!Just tell her what happened. It's not your fault.If we keep talking this way, won't we freak her out soon? Soon. I'm gonna be on soon.There I am!Sam Waterston!No,no. That's me. That's me!No. Sam Waterston.Crime Misdemeanor, Capricorn One.She doesn't know "hello," but she knows Capricorn One.I need those earrings. We're leaving when the show's over. But I already gave them back to you.No,you didn't.I already didn't gave them back to you. That's what I said. Where's that other earring?It's not here,Phoebe. It's not here.I went to Chandler's last night.Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.Chandler has a jewelry box?We have 10 minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?Hey,Phoebe.How's that......vegetarian pizza working out for you?You and those vegetables have a real......thing going on,huh?Why are you being weird?Do you like it?No. That'd be, "Why are you being cute?"Okay. I'm working on my flirting.I did not get that.So, Monica, do you like Law and Order?Yeah,it's good.I found out all this stuff about you. You like Law and Order... ...and you've flirted with every guy in the tri-state area. Okay,let me get this straight.It's okay for you to flirt, but not for me?I'm glad we cleared that up.I'm sorry, but some things are different for men and women. Teach me about men and women.I've already taught you so much already, but whatever.When you flirt with a guy, you think,"No big deal."But he thinks,"Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me." -No way! -It's true.-Well,that's pathetic. -Again,true.-This goes for all guys? -All guys that are awake.We go to sleep.All guys from the other end of the world wake up and act the same way. It's another commercial and I still haven't told her.Joey,this is the last commercial.-You got 10 minutes left. -I know!What am I gonna do?You will not run out and leave her here.Yeah,all right.乔伊？Joey's gonna be right back. Right back?Meanwhile,let's talk about you.So you're old and small.-Did you find it? -The earring,no.But I found my sunglasses.I've been looking for these since last summer.Those are mine. You borrowed them from me.Okay. Calm down. Here they are.菲比-What do we do? -I don't know. I don't know!We'll just have to tell Monica,that's all.Oh,God! She's gonna kill me.I could tell her it was all my fault.Oh,that'd be great.Mon, could I talk to you?Yeah. What is it?I lost one of your earrings.I'm sorry. I am so,so sorry.All right,what can you do? If you lost it, you lost it.I'll replace it. I promise. I feel so terrible.That's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.Look at you. Come here.-You feel better? -Yeah. You're the best.Okay, wait a minute.I can't do this.Listen, honey, it's not Phoebe's fault.She lent me the earrings.I lost it. I'm so sorry,honey. I feel terrible too.That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!First,my jewelry. If it's not that,it's my sweater.And if it's not that, it's my sunglasses.-Your sunglasses? -Yes！Oh,right.-Pizza. -Mine,mine,mine!Okay,here goes.Prepare yourselves for some class-A flirting.Okay,hold on.Okay.You have nothing to prove.And if you really like this girl, I don't think flirting is the right way You'll see. Okay.What's her name?Caitlin!We can't keep eating like this.It's $12.50.Okay.Do you make the pizzas in one of those wood-burning ovens? No,actually,I think they're gas.Gas?Intense.If this is how all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem. You know that smell gas has?-Yeah. -They put that in.-What? -The gas is odorless.But they add the smell so you know when there's a leak. Well,okay.A lot of other gas smells.Oh,the humanity!Methane smells....You know what? Actually, I really should go.-But I haven't paid you yet. -That's okay.You guys have ordered so many that this one's on me.Was I talking to her about gas?More so than anything else.I found it interesting.I'm sorry. No.Don't worry about it.In nine years,she and l will be right there!I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes.-Ross? -Yeah? -What else do they add smell to?Caitlin! Caitlin!Hi,I'm Rachel.From upstairs? The ones with all the pizza?Was there a problem?No,they're fine. Great pizza.But,actually,my friend Ross......he gets nervous when he's flirting.Oh,my God!-That was flirting? -Yeah.I know,I know.I'm telling you, once you get past that part......where it feels like you wanna die......he's a really good person.The guy with the gas?I'm telling you,he's really sweet and really funny......and he's just got a good heart.You know,actually,I did think that he was cute and then he started talking. See,there you go.-Besides, I think he really likes you. -Really?Well,we have seven people and 10 pizzas. What do you think?I thought Joey was there.Yeah, no, but just I'm telling you he's worth a shot.Well, if he's so great why don't you go out with him?Well,you know,at some point......you and I may need to have a longer conversation.Hey, Ross?I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway.You must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought. -What? -I don't get it,but she wanted me......to give you her number.And she just gave you this?Rach, thanks. But I don't need you doing me any favors.I didn't. She thought you were cute.Well,that I can believe.Hey,is the show still on?Almost over,man.Hey,Nonnie.Is that the pope?Why am I looking?Oh, here I am! This is my big scene.All right, back off!I got a gun!I'm not afraid to use it.-Joey! That's right, Nonnie.You couldn't have at least changed your shirt?Now, I want a suitcase filled with $ 100,000Filled with $ 100,000 in small bills.And if I don't get Shoo!And if I don't get it......I'll shoot this duck!Oh,no!I'm coming out!And she's supposed to buy this?Joey, bravo!Ground control to Major TomCommencing countdownEnginesOnThat's scenes from next week's show. Next week.I am definitely gonna watch that.Do these look the same?-Definitely. -Not as each other.Then,no.-Hey,you ready? -Yeah.You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world. You're about to get a little luckier.-Let me see the earrings. -Right,the earrings.They look great.Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?My boyfriend really does have great taste.Thanks for picking out the earrings.。
-What are you doing? -I reorganized the fridge. 你在做什么？我重新整理过冰箱See? Bottom shelf, meats and dairy. 最底下放肉跟奶制品Middle shelf,fruits and vegetables. 中间放水果蔬菜And top shelf,expired products. 最上面放过期食物Why are you doing this? 你吃饱撑着啊？Because I'm bored out of my mind. 因为我无聊到快抓狂了I've already been to the bank, post office and dry cleaners. 我已经去过银行、邮局、干洗店Dude,you just described seven days' worth of stuff. 老兄，你做完我一周的工作Spread it out a little. Haven't you ever been unemployed? 你要放轻松一点难道你从来没失业过？I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. 我不是失业只是进修中（有安息之意）Hey,don't get religious on me,okay? 少跟我传教A guy in your position needs to be better at relaxing. 你应该练习放轻松That's why we have comfortable chairs. Here,sit down. 不然我们家怎么会有安乐椅？过来…坐下Ready? Watch. 准备好没？仔细看了And then.... 然后…真好-So,what? We just sit? -Oh,no,no. 就光坐着？当然不是We're not gonna just sit. Watch. 不只是坐着看好了-Hello,Chandler Bing. -Hello,Mr. Bing. 我是钱德宾宾先生I love you. 我爱你All right,whoever this is, stop calling me! 不管你是谁，别再打了It's been 6 months! It's not funny! 你已经骚扰我半年一点也不好笑I can see you, Mr. Bing. 宾先生，我看得到你You look sexy in your new suit. 你穿新西装真性感Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone! 求你行行好，别再骚扰我了And that's Wednesday. 这只是周三的乐子The One with The lnappropriate Sister 本集播出：“情比兄妹深”33 告诉你们The British are coming? 英国人要打来啦？Oh,you and your ways. 你的笑话真冷Since it's Christmas, I'm going to be collecting donations. 耶诞节快到了我要负责去乐捐募款I have my bell and later on I get my bucket. 我已经拿到铃铛过几天就能拿到募捐筒I'll be spreading joy to the people. 我要散播欢乐给大家Last year I spread a little joy, but not enough. 去年散播的不够多So this year I'm doing the whole city. 今年一定要让全纽约都感受到I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. 我有个高中同学也跟你一样她很红It's weird,you're starting to sound a lot like Chandler lately. 怪了，你口气跟钱德越来越像That is so not true. 胡说八道So,Phoebe,where are you doing your bell-ringing? 菲比，你要去哪里摇铃？They gave me a great spot right by Macy's. 我分到梅西百货旁当红位子They never give a good spot to a rookie... 新人很少分到这位子...but I'm the only one who can say "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages.可是只有我会用25种语言说耶诞快乐I lied! 我唬人的Oh,my God. Here's Danny. 天啊，丹尼在那边Just watch this. 你们看See? Still pretending he's not interested. 看见没？还在假装对我没兴趣He's coming over. Pretend we've forgotten who he is. 他走过来了，大家装不认识他忘记他是谁-Hey,guys. -Hey,Danny. 你们好丹尼Oh,Danny! Hey! 丹尼You know Rachel. She's nice. She's not bad to look at,right? 丹尼，你认得瑞秋吧她人很好，长得也不赖吧？Thanks,Mon. 谢了，摩妮卡Of course. 当然啦Do you want to go out on a date with her? 你要不要跟她约会？Absolutely. Is Friday okay? 好啊，周五可以吗？Friday is perfect. She can't wait. 非常好，她等不及要赴约On the date,I'll be able to talk to her directly? 约会时我可以直接跟她说话吧？See you Friday. 周五见Okay,what the hell was that? You know what? Don't answer me. 你搞什么？算了，不用说了I have a date with Danny! 我要跟丹尼约会咯All right,it's 4:30, I guess my lunch break is over. 已经4点半，午休该结束了-What are you guys gonna do? -lf you're going back to work... 你们等下要干么？既然你要回去上班...I'll probably just hang out. You know,make some calls. 我们大概一起打几个电话吧真不错How could I not get the part? 我怎么会落选？The play was about a 29-year-old ltalian actor from Queens! 主角就是出身皇后区的29岁意大利演员Well,Talia Shire suddenly became available. 泰莉雅雪儿突然有空She's a woman! 她是欧巴桑耶What can I say? She nailed it! 你要我说什么？人家就是有办法Is there anything else? 好吧，还有什么戏份？You'll just say no again,but... 你一定又会拒绝…...gay porn? 同性恋A片？Happy holidays! 佳节快乐Feliz Navidad! 耶诞快乐（西班牙文）Allo and Merry Christmas! 嗨（法文），耶诞快乐Oh,thank you,sir! Here's some joy. 谢谢你，祝你幸福-How's it going? -It's going okay. 我来看看你做得如何很顺利Good. Let me help you out. 那好，我顺便捐点钱Oh,thanks! 谢谢甭客气Is that a new suede jacket? It looks really expensive. 新的鹿皮外套？好像很贵Yeah. I guess. 是不便宜Just get your nails done? 你刚去做指甲？Yes,Phoebe,but this is all I have,okay? 对，我只剩这些钱了Thanks. Happy holidays! Here's your joy. 谢啦，佳节快乐，祝你幸福Thank you! Happy holidays and Wait. 谢谢，佳节愉快等等-You can't take money out. -I'm making change for the bus. 只能捐钱不能拿我跟你换零钱搭公车Can't you leave the dollar for the poor? 拿零钱就好其他钱是要救济穷人的I'm poor. I gotta take the bus. 我就是穷人，而且还得搭公车Okay,season's greetings and everything, but still 佳节愉快，可是你不能…Bite me, blondie! 咬我啊，小妞I'm going to give him something besides joy. Just 除了祝他幸福，我还要…I can't believe I didn't get that part. 那个角色根本就是为我而写结果我竟然落选I'm sorry,man. 很遗憾What you should do... 你知道该怎么做吗？...is make something happen for yourself. 你要自己创造机会You know, like write a play. 例如写个电影剧本Or a movie. What about those Good Will Hunting guys? 或者拍部电影就像“心灵捕手”那两个Be realistic,you know? If I did write something... 罗斯，少作白日梦了就算我写出剧本...what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it? 哪有办法请到他们？Wait a second. I could star in it! 有了，我可以自己主演Or that. 也可以I can't write. I mean,I'm an actor. 我不会写剧本我是演员I could act like a writer. Here.... 我可以装成编剧But see? Nada. 不过…什么也写不出来I don't have the discipline that it takes. I can't do it. 我不像编剧一样有纪律我办不到I'll help you. 我可以帮你Yeah. I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. 帮你订出时间表盯着你乖乖照做Plus,it'll give me something to do. 我自己也有事做了You'd do that for me? Thanks. 真的？你愿意帮我？We'll start slow. All you have to come up with tonight... 对谢谢一开始慢慢来今晚之前... ...is the name of your main character. ...只要想好主角名字-Done. -And it can't be Joey. 好了不可以是乔伊-It's not. -Or Joseph. 不是也不能是约瑟夫What's up? 你怎么啦？I just saw Danny on the subway with a girl... 我刚看到丹尼跟女生搭地铁...and he had his arm around her. 他还搂着她Honey,I'm sorry. 我真为你难过You should be. This is all your fault. 你的确该难过，一切都要怪你You meddled in our relationship! 谁叫你插手我们的感情世界You had no relationship! 你们根本没在一起But I was doing my thing and everything... 不过我已经拟好计划...was going according to the plan! 一切都按部就班进行中Oh, God, stop with the plan! 拜托别再提你的鸟计划So what if you saw him with a girl? 你看到他跟女生在一起又如何That doesn't mean anything. 那不代表什么You'll go out with Danny and be so charming he'll forget all about... 你就快跟丹尼约会到时你可以火力全开...that stupid subway girl. 迷得他忘记地铁那个蠢妞She was kind of stupid. 那女生的确傻里傻气You're right. I'm just going to go on the date. 你说得对好，我就去约会I'm just going to go on the date. That is the new plan. 我会去赴约这就是我的新计划Hurry! 快点-How do you spell "suspicious"? -Why? “多疑”怎么写？干嘛？I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff. 因为这个角色很“多疑”Yes! 帅！Chandler Bing, seven! Chandler Bing, zero! 钱德宾7分，钱德宾0分You're driving me crazy with that. 看你玩那个都快让我抓狂了-I'll stop. -Don't stop. 我不玩就是了继续玩Move the bowl further away. Ross could make that shot. 碗拿远一点连罗斯都投得进Well, you suck. But at least you suck at a man's game now. 真是逊毙了不过至少你进了成人组-Want to play? -I can't play games. 要不要玩？我不能跟你玩Ross'll be home soon. I have to write five pages to stick to his schedule. 罗斯就快回来了按照他的时间表我应该写完5页So play for 30 minutes, then write until he gets home. 你可以先玩30分钟再继续用功到他回家All right. 好吧But listen,what do you say we... 不过...crank it up a notch? 规则应该更困难I'm intrigued. 愿闻其详All right. All we need is a little lighter fluid. 要先找到可燃性液体But be careful. I want our security deposit back. 好，不过你小心点我还想拿回房租押金We said goodbye to that when we invented hammer darts. 我们发明铁锤标枪时就拿不回来了Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle? 你记得哪面墙壁没补过吗？记得，这里Thank you! Happy holiday. 谢谢，佳节愉快No,that's trash,young lady. You can't 小姐，那可是垃圾，不可以…Stop that young lady! She donated trash! 别这样，小姐，她竟然捐垃圾The charity's on fire! 乐捐筒着火了Help! Thank you. I need that! 来人啊谢谢，我正需要What is this? 那是什么鬼东西？It's 9:00 in the morning! 现在才早上9点耶All right. "A room." 我看看，场景，房间"A man enters. He looks suspicious." 一名男子满脸狐疑地走进来That's it? 就这样？You're supposed to have five pages done by now... 乔伊，你今天应该写5页...including an exciting incident. 还包括一个高潮What is all this? "The Official Rulebook of Fireball." 这是什么垃圾？大火球游戏规则That's the game we played. 我们刚在玩这游戏It's great. You take a tennis ball,a bowl and lighter 很好玩，道具就是一颗网球一个碗、可燃液体This is helping your career? You wanted to be an actor.这对你的事业有帮助吗？我还以为你想当演员Not the creator of "Crazy Lawsuit Game." 不是发明危险游戏被人告You're right. I'll get back to work. 你说得对，我该工作了Shame on you! You should know better! Joey needs to work. 你真不应该，还带坏他明知道乔伊应该要工作Now come on. 振作点You can have this back when the five pages are done. 等你写完5页才还你-I had a nice time tonight. -So did l. 我今晚很开心我也是I'm really glad Monica asked us out. 幸好摩妮卡约我们出来I'd love to ask you in, but my sister's visiting. 我很想请你进去不过我妹来住我家-I think she's asleep on the couch. -Your sister? 她可能睡在沙发上了你妹妹？Your sister's asleep on the couch? 睡在沙发上？I saw you with her on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch! 我上次看到你们搭地铁现在她还睡在你沙发-I thought I heard you. -Hey,great,you're up. 我就猜是你太好了，你起床了Rachel,my sister Krista. 瑞秋，这是我妹妹克莉丝塔Nice to meet you. 很高兴认识你I wish you'd warned me. I'd have fixed myself up. 你应该告诉我要带朋友回来害我穿得邋里邋遢-Like it would help. -You are so bad. 有差吗？你真恶劣-You are. -You are. 你才是是你-You are. -You are! 是你是你You are so dead. 你完蛋了I'm gonna get you. Come here! 我要教训你一顿It's very nice to meet you. 很高兴认识你Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! 没有人，没一个人尊重募捐筒You wouldn't believe what people put in here! 大家都丢些莫名其妙的东西Does this look like a garbage can to you? 你觉得这像垃圾桶吗？Does it look like an ashtray? 不像像烟灰缸吗？Does it look like a urinal? 不像像尿桶吗？-So you going back out there? -Yeah, but I won't take any more crap. 菲比，你还要回去募捐吗？当然，不过我受够了No more Mrs. Nice Bucket. 再也不当募捐好好小姐Good. You're tough. You lived on the street. 加油，你在街上流浪过，够悍I'll go back to being Street Phoebe. 我要当回强人菲比But not totally back. Street Phoebe wouldn't be friends with you guys. 不过也不能一模一样否则才不会鸟你们抱歉啦Can I ask you guys something? 可以问个问题吗？当然I don't have brothers,so I don't know, but did you guys wrestle? 我没有兄弟，实在不暸解你们会打来打去吗？-Oh,yeah. -All the time. 当然会常常In fact,I was undefeated. 而且我从没输过Well,you weighed 200 pounds. 因为你以前90多公斤Still,I was quick as a cat. 不过我还是跟猫咪一样矫捷I met Danny's sister yesterday. 我昨天碰到丹尼的妹妹-That was the girl on the subway. -You're kidding. 就是跟他一起搭地铁的那个真的假的？They were very,you know... 他们非常…...wrestle-y. ...会扭打But I guess that's normal? 这样正常吗？We don't wrestle now. 我们现在不会这样了Not since I got too strong for you. 自从我长大变壮后就不打了Too strong for me? 长大变壮？对You wanna go right now? 你要比划一下吗？I'll take you right now,buddy! You wanna go? 我可以立刻打败你，信不信？Oh,fine. 没问题Ready? 预备Wrestle! 开始Okay,you know what? 这个嘛…很好Actually,that helps a lot. Thanks. 谢谢你们帮了大忙Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! 赶快走，20分后就要开打了乔伊，快点Joey's not going. 乔伊不能去I didn't finish my five pages. 我还没写完5页Finish them tomorrow. 明天再写不就成了？Tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages. 因为他明天要修改昨天的5页Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work. 我昨天写的有待改进Cut him some slack. If he relaxes, he'll get some work done. 别再逼他，让他透口气搞不好会写得更好I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you... 他已经透够多气了这都要感谢你跟... ...and Fireball. ...大火球If you think Fireball's relaxing, you've never played. 玩大火球可是很紧张显然你没玩过You're doing this because you're bored. 你拼命压榨乔伊是因为你自己没事做It's not his fault you're unemployed. 又不是乔伊害你失业的I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical! 我不是失业，只是进修中Guys,don't fight. 你们别吵架And I'm doing this because I am Joey's friend. 我之所以这么做是因为我是乔伊的朋友If you were a friend, you'd be doing the same. 如果你也是他朋友就该学学我So being a friend means being a jerk? 当朋友就得这么混帐？If it does,then you're an amazing friend of mine. 要是真如你所说你可真是我第一号好友Let's settle this over a game of Fireball. 别吵了，大家玩场大火球别气了-I'll unhook the smoke detectors. -Let's settle this right now. 我去拆掉防火警铃现在就一了百了There. Now no one's going to the game. 好了，谁也不准去-I paid for those! -You said you would,but you didn't. 门票是我买的才怪，你每次都说要付钱却一次也没吐过钱Oh,yeah. 也对We finally get to the top of the mountain... 我们终于爬到山顶...and airhead here forgets the camera. 结果这个笨蛋竟然忘了相机The same thing happened to me one time. 我也发生过这种事情When did that happen to you? 什么时候？Remember? We were jogging and saw that bird. 上次我们不是到公园慢跑看到小鸟I wanted to take a picture, but I didn't have my camera. 我想拍下来竟然没带相机Chasing the churro guy is not jogging. 也对，不过追小贩可不算慢跑Oh,this is so good. You have got to try it. 超好吃，你一定要吃一口-Damn. I got it on my pants. -Here,I'll get it. 糟糕，裤子沾到了我来擦We better take them off or the stain will set. 最好上楼换件裤子否则以后洗不掉-I want to wear them tonight. -Oh,great. 而且我今晚约会还要穿真好Okay, bye. Oh,my God! 再见，天哪-That was unbelievable. -See? I told you. 不可思议看吧，我早说过了Yeah. Sorry. 可怜的瑞秋I don't believe they're brother and sister. 我不相信他们是兄妹They're brother and sister?! 他们是兄妹？I guess you'll have to cancel your date. 看来你得取消约会了And call their mother. 而且还要打电话给他们老妈“非尿桶” 而且还要打电话给他们老妈“我没有百货公司简介” 而且还要打电话给他们老妈Wait a minute. Open your hand. Let me take a look. 等一下，手张开给我检查Quarter,dime. Lint? Not interested in that. 两毛五、一毛、线头？不要What's this? A Canadian coin? 这是什么？加拿大硬币？Get out of here! 滚No drinks near the bucket. 不准在募捐筒旁边喝东西Set it down there and then you can make a contribution. 先放在那边才准捐款You can leave the "hurt bunny" look over there too. 少装一副可怜兮兮的样子Hi,Bob. 嗨，鲍柏I thought I told you to get out of here! 不是叫你滚了吗？Phoebe,we've been getting complaints. 菲比，我们接到申诉-We're moving you to a less high-profile spot. -What？上面要调你离开什么？-Ginger's taking this corner. -That chick can't handle my corner. 以后这里由金杰负责这小妞才没这能耐Look, either you leave or we remove you. 你不走，我们就得赶你走Fine. 好I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. 劝你一句，注意那个臭婆娘-I thought we said 7. -You know what? Let's skip it. 瑞秋，不是约7点吗？今天就算了What? Why? 什么？为什么？You and your sister seem to have a very special bond 你们兄妹似乎…非常要好Oh,great. That "special bond" again. 太好了，又说这句话Why do women have a problem with my being close to my sister? 我跟我妹感情好又是哪里让女人看不顺眼了？-I don't know, but.. -Do you have brothers? 听我说，我不知道事实真相你有兄弟吗？No,I have two sisters. But one has a very masculine energy. 我有两个妹妹其中一个很像男人婆-Are you close? -No. They're not very nice people. 你们要好吗？没有，她们不是好人I like you. I think this could go somewhere. 我很喜欢你应该可以顺利交往So I'm close to my family. Don't let it stand in our way. 我是跟家人感情深厚你就为了这点不鸟我？Well,I don't know.... 我也不知道…When you put it that way 听你这么说也有道理Danny? Hurry up. The bath's getting cold. 丹尼快点洗澡水快凉了-What？ -I'll see you later. 又怎么了？我先走了There's some kids playing in the street. 路上有小孩在玩耍Want to go give them a project, ruin their day? 你要不要去叫他们写作业毁了他们的一天？If they have a ball, you could stick razors in it... 如果你手边有球就可以插上剃刀...and teach them a new game: "Gonna-Need-Stitches Ball." 教他们玩“杀人球”Hey,guys! I was at the library. I already finished my five pages. 我整个早上都待在图书馆已经写完今天的5页了Now we can go to the Ranger game last night! 那我们可以去看昨晚的骑兵队比赛了No,dude. Ross tore up the tickets. 不行，门票给罗斯撕掉了I guess without so many distractions it's easier for you to focus? 没有让你分心的事情就比较容易专心吧？Also without somebody breathing down your neck all the livelong day!没人整天跟在你屁股后面也比较得心应手吧？The important thing is, I finished it. And I think it's really good. 随便你们说，总之我写完了而且写得还不错But it would help if I could hear it. Would you guys read it for me? 不过你们帮忙念台词才是帮大忙可不可以念一下？-Yeah,all right. -All right. 好吧好"It's a typical New York apartment. “一间普通的纽约公寓”Two guys are hanging out." “两个男人正在家里”，罗斯"Hey,man." 嗨"What is up?" 有什么事？"About yesterday. I was really wrong. I am sorry." 昨天是我错了，对不起"No,it was me. I'm sorry. I overreacted." 我才该道歉，我反应过头了"Maybe it was both of us. But we had our best friend's inter 或许我们都有错反正我们都是为了朋友…But we had our best friend's interest at heart." 我们都是为了朋友好"Could I be more sorry?" 我非常不好意思"l don't know. I am one sorry... 我才是该道歉的......polontologist." ...古生物学家All right, Joey, we get it. 乔伊，我们懂了-I'm sorry. -I'm sorry too. 对不起我也该道歉Keep reading. The good part's coming up. 你们要继续读下去精采的才要上场，继续念"l am sorry, Chandler." 对不起，钱德"l am sorry, Ross." 对不起，罗斯"A handsome man enters." “帅哥上场”"l don't know what you're talking about, but I'd like to thank you both. 不知道你们在扯什么不过我要向你们两位道谢You. You wouldn't let me give up on myself. 你让我不放弃自己And you. 你You co-created Fireball." 你与我一起创造了大火球"The End." “剧终”This took you all day? 这就花了你一整天？No, this took five minutes. 没有，我只写了5分钟I spent the rest of the day coming up with new Ultimate Fireball! 其他时间都在写“终极大火球”游戏规则It's a typical New York apartment. Two girls are just hanging out. Go. 场景在一般纽约公寓屋内有两个女生-"Hi,how are you doing,Kelly?" -"I'm doing just fine. 嗨，凯莉，你好吗？我很好God, Tiffany, you smell so great." 提芬妮，你今天好香"It's my new perfume. 我喷了新香水Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?" 你过来一点才闻得仔细-Joey,you are sick. -This is disgusting. 乔伊，你这大变态恶毙了I'm not reading this. 我才不要念哩Wait,wait,wait! The handsome man was about to enter! 什么？等等，帅哥才刚要上场391 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000。
Monica?What time is it?Nine.But it's dark out.That's because you always sleep till noon,silly.This is what nine looks like.I guess I'll get washed up then.Watch that sunrise.I'm getting tired of always sneaking around.Me too. What if we went away for the weekend? No interruptions. We could be naked the entire time.All weekend? That's a whole lot of naked.I'll say I have a conference and you can have a chef thing.I wanted to go to this culinary fair in Jersey!Okay. You know you're not,though.-Let's go. -Okay. Wait.What about Joey?The One with the Kipsrainystar压制iPod-MP4I'm going to a culinary fair in Jersey this weekend.How weird! Chandler just said he's got a conference there.That's funny. Seems like Chandler's conference could've been... ...in Connecticut or Vermont.I'm not in charge of where the conference is held.Do you want people to think it's fake? It's a real conference.-ls Rachel here? -No,she's out shopping.-Damn! -What's going on?I told Emily to come.And I just need to,you know, talk to Rachel about it. Wait a minute.When Emily comes, you won't see Rachel anymore?I'm focusing on the "I get to see my wife" part......and not on the part that makes me do this.So you'll never be in a room together?How will that even work?I have no idea. I mean....But I assure you, I will figure it out.It doesn't seem like it'll work.Hi,guys.嘿What's going on?We're flipping Monica's mattress.So I'm thinking,basically, we pick it up and then we flip it. That's better than my way.Hey guys,would you flip mine too?Oh,man.Oh,look! A letter from my mom.So,Rach?You know how Emily's coming?Oh,yeah. I know.Can you hear anything?Yeah,somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"Hey,Joey's ass.What are you doing?Remember when they fought and broke up......and we were stuck here all night with no food?When Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it'd happen again. So I hid this in here.Candy bars,crossword puzzles....Mad Libs! Mine!-Okay,"Name of someone in room."Come on,seriously.What do you got in here? Magazines,DoritosCondoms?You don't know how long we'll be in here.We may have to repopulate the Earth.And condoms are the way to do that?Anyway,it all boils down to this.-The last time I talked to Emily -Oh,my God! Our dog died!-What? -Oh,my God! LaPooh,our dog!LaPooh's still alive?Sorry.It says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for......nineteen blocks!-Oh,my God. -Sweetie,we heard you crying.-Please don't cry. -It's LaPooh!I know,it's LaPooh right now but it'll get better.I can't believe it! We're here!Chocolates on the pillows! I love that!You should live with Joey. Rolos everywhere.This is so great. No one's gonna bother us.And we're gonna do it.I'm gonna do it with Monica!Chandler,stop yelling that you and I are gonna do it!-I'll be right back. -Okay.Oh,yes!Get in here. There's a high-speed car chase on!We're switching rooms.Oh,dear God! They gave us glasses!The glasses have lipstick on them.Who knows what else they didn't change?You wanna switch rooms because they didn't switch the glasses?I didn't wanna say anything, but the carpet smells too.I want this weekend to be perfect. We can change rooms,can't we? Okay,but let's do it now. Chopper Five just lost its feed!Forget it.You know how there was something I wanted to talk to you about? Oh,yeah.I'm trying to work things out with Emily.Well,there's this......one thing.Here goes.I made a promise that-What? -Your nose is bleeding.-Oh,God! -You're bleeding.Oh,not again. This happened when my grandfather died. Sorry.Gross.Okay. So I'm sorry. What did you want to tell me? Sorry. Sorry.I can't see you anymore.I know,it's ridiculous. I can't see you,either. All right.I'm just gonna go shove a bunch of tissues in my nose. Hey,do you wanna tell me while I do that?I'm good.-I think you'll like this room more. -Okay,great.They say he's only got half a tank left.Half a tank? Still lots of high-speed chasing to do!-I'll bet he's heading for Canada. -They always do.-We're switching rooms again. -What? Why?This has a garden view. We paid for an ocean view.Our last ocean-view room was unacceptable to you.-The carpet smelled. -Like ocean?No,like feet.Excuse me. Can I talk to you over here for just a second? 钱德来了These clowns want to take us for a ride. I won't let them. We're not a couple of suckers.I hear you,Mugsy.All these rooms are fine.Just pick one so I can watch theHave a perfect,magical weekend together with you?Oh,man,he almost hit a gas truck.Do you ever watch Baywatch?-This one I like. -Nothing. Nothing. It's over. Damn it!This is regularly scheduled programming!-I wanted to see them talk to his neighbors. -Well,I'm standing right here... -...you could talk to me. -You didn't know him.Can we turn the TV off?Do we really want to spend the weekend like this?Am I getting in the way of the room-switching fun?Don't blame me for tonight.Who should I blame? The nice bellman?Or the idiot who thought he could drive......from Albany to Canada on half a tank of gas?Do not speak ill of the dead.We're supposed to be spending a romantic weekend together.What's the matter?I just want to watch a little television.Jeez,relax,Mom.What did you say?I said,"Jeez,relax,Mon."You know what,Chandler? You like fast getaways? Watch this.I don't like fast getaways, I like car chases.-Hey,what's up? -Hey.I've been wanting to tell you something and I just have to get it out.Okay. What's up?Okay,before I tell you I just have to know......is your nose okay?Are all the other family pets in good health?Well,Davey's still pining after LaPooh......but,you know,he's a tough little turtle.You know how you said to do whatever it takes to fix my marriage? Yeah,I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.And while that was good advice, you should know that what she wants... ...is for me not to see you anymore.That's crazy! You can't do that. What are you going to tell her?Oh,my God!You've already agreed to this.It's awful,I know.But I have to do this if I want my marriage to work.And I do. I have to make this marriage work. I have to.But the good thing is,we can still see each other until she gets here. Lucky me! Oh,my God! That is good news,Ross!That's the best news I've heard since LaPooh died!You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.Oh,yeah,really? Is it,Ross?-Let me make this easier for you. -What are you doing?-Storming out. -It's your apartment.Yeah? Well,that's how mad I am!Damn Rolos!You're back! How was your conference?It was terrible. I fought with my colleagues the entire time.Are you kidding with this?So your weekend was a bust?No,I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.You know,at the Taj Mahal he has his own private glass elevator. That's right. Made by Otis Elevators.And they don't usually do glass.What kinds of stuff do you know?You're back too.Could I talk to you for a second?-How was your chef thing? -lt was awful.Some people don't appreciate good food.Maybe the food tasted good at first......but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.钱德摩妮卡How much was the room? I'll pay my half.Fine. $300.$300?Just think of it as $25 per room.What are you guys woofing about?Chandler stole a 20 from my purse!不会吧？I was only stealing it back, the one that she stole from me. Stealing and now lying.You know what? Now that I think about it......I constantly find myself without 20s,and you......always have lots.You should've seen the look on her face.I don't want Rachel to hate me. I don't know what to do.-You want my advice? -Yes. Please.-You won't like it. -That's okay.You got married too fast.-That's not advice. -I told you.I'm going to the bathroom.If anyone asked me to give up any of you,I couldn't do it.Me neither.Maybe I could do it.嗨嗨，瑞秋I know you guys heard about me and Ross.But I've been obsessing about it and would love not to talk about it.I don't know if this falls under that category......but Ross is right back there.-That's not Ross. -Not that guy.He does look like him,though.Ross is in the bathroom.Oh,my God! It's happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.Yeah,you're not Kip.Do you even know who Kip is?Who cares? You're Rachel.Who's Kip?My old roommate. We all hung out together.Oh,that poor bastard.You told me the story. He and Monica dated.When they broke up,you all promised you'd stay his friend.And what happened? He got phased out.-You won't be phased out. -Of course I am.It won't happen to Ross. He's your brother,your college roommate.Kip didn't even have to be Kip. We handled that all wrong.It was a long time ago.And it was before you and me were around. They didn't know what they were doing. Chandler had a mustache, for crying out loud.It was just a matter of time.I just assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.You live far away, you're not related.You lift right out.Hey,Mr. Bing.That hotel you stayed at called.Someone left an eyelash curler in your room.Yes,that was mine.I figured you met a girl and she left it.That would have made more sense.I don't even feel like I know you anymore.All right,I'm just going to ask you this one time.Whatever you say, I'll believe you.Were you or were you not......on a gay cruise?菲比I'm sorry about the whole "lifting out" thing.You gotta come with me.-Where? -Wherever I go.You and me,we'll start a new group. We're the best ones. Okay,but try to get Joey too.Phoebe,do you mind if l speak to Rachel alone?Sure.Bye,Ross.Forever.嗨Why are you here? Isn't this against the rules?I talked to Monica.Look,I'm the one who made the choice.I'm the one who's making things change.So I should be the one to, you know,step back.No,no,it's okay. Really.Plenty of people just see their sisters at Thanksgiving... ...their college roommates at reunions......and Joey at Burger King.Is that better?No,it's not better.I still don't get to see you.What would you do? If you were me,what would you do? First,I'd have said the right name at my wedding.I can't believe this.I know.I am so sorry.I know that too.Hey,Rach?Sorry to interrupt,but Phoebe said you want to talk to me about a trip? 嘿I just came over to drop off......nothing.So that weekend kind of sucked.Yeah,it did.So I guess this is over?You know,you and me. I mean,it had to end sometime.Why exactly?Because of the weekend. We had a fight.Chandler,that's crazy.If you always gave up after a fight......you'd never be with anyone longer than难怪This isn't over?You are so cute!No,no. It was a fight.You deal with it and you move on. It's nothing to freak out about. Really? Okay,great!Welcome to an adult relationship.We're in a relationship?I'm afraid so.好吧嘿I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.Saw him waiting for an elevator.Can I use your eyelash curler? I lost mine.It's in the bathroom.Can I talk to you for a second?Yes.Yes.You?And you?But you cannot tell anyone. No one knows.But how? When?-lt happened in London. -ln London!We didn't want to make a big deal out of it.But it is a big deal! I have to tell someone!You can't.-Please. Now,I know this is hard. -lt is. It hurts.We just don't want to deal with telling everyone.Please just promise you won't tell.All right.Man,this is unbelievable!I mean,it's great!But....I know. It's great!I don't want to see that!We're so stupid.Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!"The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. If you win,slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say,'Hi,Phoebe!'" That's cute. We really all enjoyed it.-But it doesn't count. -For what?Just count in our heads as good Mad Libs.-I gotta go. -Fun's over.Wait,if we follow the rules......it's still fun and it means something.I'm going to take off.Guys,rules are good!Rules help control the fun.407。
Come in.I've been waiting for you.Hi,I justOh,my God! Monica!Oh,my God!I'm sorry! I wasI was taking a nap.Since when do you take naps in that position?Tell me you were waiting for a guy. Please tell me.Yes,I was. A guy.From work.I'm seeing a guy from work!That cute waiter guy that looks like a nonthreatening Ray Liotta?That one!Give me a second. I'm just going to grab a jacket.When I get back, I want every little detail.Maybe that's him.或许…It's just Joey and Ross.Why aren't you at the movie?Ross was so loud,they threw us out.I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!He's talking to London.Did he get in touch with Emily?No,not yet. He's hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.I don't care if I said some other girl's name,you prissy old twit!Way to suck up to the family!I'm so glad you're all here. My office finally got wrinkle-free fax paper! The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS30Waltham.Oh,I'm sorry. Is this 0-1-1-4-4-7-4-2......9-3-4-7-4-2-6-7?Oh,it's "4-3," not 4-2.Well,which 4-2?No,no! Vomit tux!Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned.Vomit tux?Who vomited on?You know what? What you up to,Joe?They're doing this telethon thing on TV.And my agent got me a job as cohost!That's great!A little good deed for PBS, plus some TV exposure.That's the kind of math Joey likes to do.Oh,PBS!-What's wrong with PBS? -What's right with them?他们哪里对？Why don't you like PBS?Right after my Mom killed herself, I was in a bad place,personally.I thought I'd write to Sesame Street.Because they were nice when I was a little kid.No one ever wrote back.A lot of those muppets don't have thumbs.All I got was a lousy key chain,and by that time,I was living in a box.I didn't have keys!I'm sorry,Phoebe.I wanted to do a good deed, like you did with the babies.This isn't a good deed. You just want to get on TV. This is selfish. What about you having those babies for your brother?That's selfish!What are you talking about?It was a nice thing, but it made you feel good,right?Yeah,so?It made you feel good so that makes it selfish.Look,there's no unselfish good deeds. Sorry.Yes,there are totally good deeds that are selfless!May I ask for one example?Yeah,it's You know,there'sNo,you may not!Because all people are selfish.Are you calling me selfish?Are you calling you people?Sorry to burst that bubble,Phoebe,but selfless good deeds don't exist.You know the deal on Santa Claus?I'll find a selfless good deed. I'm going to beat you,you evil genius! 喂罗斯吗？Oh,my God! It's Emily!It's Emily,everyone!I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Goodbye. You can hang up,but I'll keep calling everyone in England... ...if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me.Really? About what?Look,you're my wife. We're married.You know,I love you.I really miss you.I miss you too.At least,I think I do.She's talking.万岁When you said "the deal with Santa," you meant...?That he doesn't exist.Right.Chandler,have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend? Yeah,she might have mentioned him.So,Mon,when are we going to meet this new,secret waiter man?I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.Yeah,I don't think he's up to it.I want to meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had. Really?That's what you heard? You said that?I might have.Why is that funny?Because I'm very happy for him.And you! You lucky dog!She's willing to work on the relationship.That's great!In London.She wants me to move to London.But you live here.You know that.-What will you do? -I don't know.-I mean,I can't leave Ben. -You can just video-conference with him. I'm not ready to have a child.I bet if I talked to Carol and Susan......I could convince them to move to London with Ben.I'm sure your ex-wife would be more than happy to move......so you can patch things up with your new wife.It could happen.Ross,we are not moving to London. We already have lives here. But it'd be great. They have great theater......great accents.Tea.They have a queen.-So? -She's a woman.-Daddy! -Hey!Guess what? We're moving to London!-Who's going to London? -Nobody's going to London.Welcome to London,governor.Right,right. It'll be great because we'll have Big Ben and little Ben... ...in the same city.Go pack!See? See,he wants to go.Yeah,we leave all our big decisions to the 3-year-old.Come on,come on. It'll be just like Three's Company......only there's a kid and my wife......and you're the gay ones.How you doing? Welcome. Good to see you.This'll be your phone.That's great.But I'm not really expecting a lot of calls.No,you answer it and take pledges.But I'm the host.Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phone.You don't seem to understand. I was Dr. Drake Ramoray.Well,here's your phone,doctor.I can't believe I can't find a selfless good deed.You know that old guy that lives next to me?I snuck over there and raked up the leaves on his front stoop.But he caught me,and he force-fed me cider and cookies.Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.I will find a selfless good deed. I gave birth to three children... ...and I won't let them be raised in a world where Joey's right!Can I ask you a cooking question?If you're cooking on the stove......that means your new boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?钱德Is he?I think I'll respect the privacy of my new,secret boyfriend.Why?If this guy was me...and it's me who'd learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had... ...I'd be like this:All right,Emily.As much as I love you......I'm sorry,I can't move to London without Ben.I understand that would be difficult.Would you consider moving here? You were moving here anyway.Why can't you just do that?I don't know. It's justBut I know that even though I've been a complete idiot up till now... ...you have to come here.You have to,so we can work this out together.All right.Did you just say "all right"?I did. Now I'm the idiot.Emily,that is so great!It'll be great!We're going to be like two idiots in love!There's one thing that really scares me still.-Yes,tell me. -You must understand......how humiliating it was for me at the altar......in front of my family and friends.I know. I am so sorry.And then,after deciding to forgive you......seeing you at the airport, catching our plane with her. Again,very sorry.I mean,I can't be in the same room as her.It drives me mad thinking of you being in the same room as her. Emily,there is nothing between Rachel and me.I love you.All right.I'll come to New York, and we'll try to make this work.That's so great!As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.I asked Emily if she would come to New York.And she said yes.Great!不不不Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.What? You can'tWhat did you say?I'd think about it. How am l supposed to make this decision?I'm actually asking you!Rachel is one of your best friends.But Emily's his wife!That's true!You can't just cut Rachel out of your life!That's true!Thanks for the help. Problem solved!喂摩妮卡When will you be on TV?There was kind of a mix-up in my agent's office......but I'm still on TV, and that's good exposure.You're not on TV.How about now?There he is!Hello,New York!Maybe just put the whole duck in there. Who cares?Now I got the legs.How many times have I told you to never watch the cooking channel?I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed.That was yours?We used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.Williams-Sonoma, fall catalog,page 27.Expect it in 4 to 6 weeks.Joey's at the telethon for the rest of the day.We have the place to ourselves.Yeah,so?Maybe you'd want to book some time with "the best you've ever had." You know what,champ?I think I'll pass.Why?为什么？What's your point?With all the stupid gloating, would you want to sleep with you? Well,I think I'd be a little out of my league, but I'd give it a shot. PBS Telethon.I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed.I went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.What good is that going to do?It helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends.The bee is happy, and I am definitely not.You know,the bee probably died after he stung you.Damn it!Back on in 30 seconds,people!Excuse me, would you mind switching with me?No way. I'm in the shot,man.-You've been here all day! -I'm taking pledges.我在接受捐款，别吵我！And we're on three,two....Welcome back to our fall telethon.If you've been enjoying Cirque du Soleil......and you'd like to see more, it's very simple.All you have to do is call in a pledge......and tell one of our volunteers what type of programming you -Quick broiling pan question -Yes,it really does cost that much.Maybe next time your duck can puke in something from Pottery Barn. That's it. I cannot make this decision. It is too difficult.I leave it entirely up to the gods of fate.A Magic 8 Ball?You can't make this decision with a toy!It's not a toy.I don't know what else to do!I either keep my wife and lose one of my best friends......or I get divorced for the second time before I'm 30.If anyone else has a better suggestion,let's hear it.Because I got nothing! Don't be shy.Any suggestion will do.Okay,then.Here we go.Magic 8 Ball......should I never see Rachel again?"Ask Again Later."Later is not good enough!"Ask Again Later."What the hell?This is broken! It is broken!Let me see.Will Chandler have sex tonight?"Don't Count On lt."Seems like it works to me.Okay,one more time.Should I never see Rachel again?Magic 8 Ball! What did you ask?Does...00:18:35,93 --> 00:18:40,30Excellent. What's the answer?Looks like Stella's gonna get her groove back tonight!What? I heard it was good.PBS Telethon.Hi,Joey.Hey,Phoebe.I'd like to make a pledge.I would like to donate $200.Two hundred dollars?You sure? After what Sesame Street did to you?I'm still mad at them, but they bring happiness......to lots of kids whose moms didn't kill themselves.By supporting them,I'm doing a good thing,but I'm not happy about it. So there! A selfless good deed.You don't feel good about donating the money?No,it sucks! I was saving up to buy a hamster.A hamster? Those things are,like,$10.Not the one I had my eye on.It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total.Thank you!And the pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers.Oh,boy! And may I say, one of our sharpest dressed volunteers.Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!Oh,look!Joey's on TV!Isn't that great?My pledge got Joey on TV! That makes me feel soOh,no!Look......I got carried away before, but there's something you got to know. If I'm the best,it's only because you made me the best.Keep talking.I was nothing before you.Call the other girls and ask.Which wouldn't take long.But when I'm with you, and we're together......oh,my God!-Really? -Oh,my God!I understand if you never want to sleep with me again.But that would be wrong.We're too good.We owe it to sex!If we owe it!Oh,my!When will Joey be home?I was kind of hoping we could do this without him.No,no,no! Leave the gloves on.I cleaned the bathroom.Why don't we lose the gloves.All right. Let's show them how it's done.-You know that wasn't part of it? -I know.You ready? We're going to be late.-For what? -For Stella,remember?She's getting her groove back in 20 minutes.I totally forgot about that.Can I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily. Sure,I guess.I hear you don't have to go to London.It's not that easy. There's still a lot of relationship stuff.Like what?Just stuff.You know,kind of what Emily wants.Talk to me. Maybe I can help.You can't help.I have to do this without your help.I know you can do that too. I'm just saying if you need to talk.... 嗨Thanks.罗斯Whatever it is that Emily wants......just give it to her.The bottom line is that you love her.Fix whatever she wants fixed.Just do it.You're going to have to try. You'll hate yourself if you don't. Come on,answer it!Hi,sweetie.Good.Yes,I've been thinking......about that thing you wanted me to do.I can do it.Will you come to New York?-Never done that before. -Nope.。
Pick a card. 选一张All right. Now,memorize it. 好记住花色号码-You got it? -Oh, yes. 好了没？好了Is that your card? 是这张吗？Yes. 就是这张-Hey,guys. -Hi there! 大家好Guess what. Ben is gonna be in a TV commercial. 你们猜怎么着？班要上电视拍广告了What are you talking about? 你们在说什么？It's not for sure,but... 还没有定案...we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was cute. 不过我们在公园里遇到一个人他觉得班很可爱You know,which he is. He gave us his card... 这也是事实啦那个人留了张名片...and told us to bring him for this commercial he's auditioning. 要我带班去参加广告试镜This guy's the biggest commercial casting director in town! 这个人是本地最大的选角导演Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition? 班去公园随便散个步就有试镜自动送上门！I mean, way to go, Ben! 我是说，班，真有你的I've been in that park a million times and no one's offered me an audition. 那个公园我都去烂了从来没人主动找我去试镜It's crazy. We were pushing Ben on the swings 我知道，真的很神奇我们只是在陪班玩荡秋千…I'm always on the swings! 我每次都在玩荡秋千啊What am I doing wrong? 我是哪里做错了？That. 就是那里The One Where Rachel Smokes 本集播出：“打入抽烟圈”23 我要出门了，祝我好运Since you work at Ralph Lauren, can you get me some shirts? 瑞秋，既然你在拉夫罗伦工作能不能带几件马球衫回来？I don't know if I'd feel comfortable stealing on my very first day. 第一天上班就偷公司东西我可能下不了手喔Unwilling to steal from work. 不愿意慷公司之慨Interesting. 有意思了If anybody gets free stuff, it's me. 就算有人能拿免费的那也非我莫属Okay,guys,way to wish me luck. 好了，各位，祝我好运吧Go get 'em! 祝你好运，给他们好看Let's discuss Rachel's birthday. 好，来讨论帮瑞秋庆生的事I say we throw a surprise party this weekend. 我建议在周末办惊喜派对But her birthday's not for another month. 可是一个月后才是她生日啊If we throw her party on her birthday, it's not a surprise. 是没错，但在生日当天开派对那就不惊喜啦Great! We can have a dinner party and just invite her close friends. 我觉得这主意不错我们办个晚餐派对邀请好朋友过来Ross! We're having a surprise party for Rachel. 罗斯！我们要帮瑞秋办惊喜派对咯Done. 搞定Great. Wanna do it together? 好，那你要一起来吗？I'd love to do it together! 乐意之至They're gonna do it together. 她们要一起来耶That's my girlfriend. 兄弟，那位可是我女友So I gotta shut it down now? 所以我就得闭嘴？I gotta go. I'm picking up Ben... 好，我得走了我要接班......and then we're off to the big audition. ...去参加大试镜It's gonna be weird seeing some actor pretending to be Ben's dad. 看到有演员假装是班的父亲那种感觉一定很怪Weirder than seeing his two moms make out? 是啊怪过看班的两个妈妈温存？Dad? There's a dad in the commercial? 爸爸？广告里面有爸爸？Yeah. The dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it. 是啊，班和爸爸喝汤演得很陶醉的样子Maybe I'll go with you and audition as the dad. 或许我可以跟你们一起去搞不好能试镜演那个爸爸Who better to play Ben's father than his godfather? 说到扮演班的爸爸由我这教父上场更最适合了-You're not his godfather. -What? 你不是班的教父什么？Are you kidding? 你在开玩笑吧？Of course I am. 当然是啊-Okay, let's go, godfather. -All right! 我们走吧，教父好耶They're gonna let me audition! 我获选了，他们让我试镜Really? That's great! 真的？太棒了One of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play. 有个女的看过我演舞台剧So I steered clear of her. 所以我离她离得远远的And the other one,I know from.... 另一个我也认识Well,you know. 原因你也知道…-That kid looks familiar. -Oh,yeah. 那个孩子看起来很眼熟是啊He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in Sugar Smacks, PlayStation... 他拍过一堆广告有糖果广告、新力PS游戏机...and that one for the phone company. 还帮电话公司拍过广告He was so good,he convinced me to switch phone companies. 他演得实在是太好了我索性跟着换了电话公司Chandler was mad. 钱德因此还气得半死He's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. 不过他这次休想拿到这角色因为班比他可爱多了I mean, look at him. 看就知道，宝贝，看看你That's great. 很好Wouldn't it be great if I got to play Ben's dad? 不过若我能演班的爸爸这样是不是很棒？You look nothing like Ben. 乔伊，你跟班一点都不像I look more like him than you do. 比你跟他像多了I really don't know you well enough for you to do that. 我跟你还不熟哪里生得出小孩？So it's down to these two. Nancy,I know you like this one. 现在是最后的二选一南茜，我知道你喜欢这一个I think I agree. Rachel,what do you think? 我也有同感瑞秋，你觉得呢？Well, that one is pretty... 那个是很漂亮...but I just love this fabric. 但我超爱这个的质料Sorry. 抱歉了Don't be. Part of your job is to give your opinions. 不用抱歉提供意见是你的职责之一Then I take credit for them. I'm kidding! 功劳归我，开玩笑的She is kidding. But don't ever disagree with her again. 她这次是在开玩笑但下次可别跟她意见相左Okay,now I'm kidding! 这次换我在开玩笑What a fun office. 这个办公室真有趣I don't know which one. But I do know I need a cigarette. 我不知道要选哪一个不过先来根烟倒是真的Let's take a break, go outside and sort this out when we return. 不如我们出去休息一下等回来之后再解决？-You smoke? -No. 你抽烟吗？不抽My dad's a doctor. And he would always tell me horror stories.... 不抽，我爸是医生老跟我说些恐怖的故事…About ghosts and goblins... 说那些鬼神精灵的…...who totally supported the princess' right to smoke. 完全赞同公主抽烟And then they came back from smoking and they'd made all of the decisions.她们在抽烟的时候就背着我做出了决定-That's not fair. -I know. 这样不太公平我知道啊！It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisonous habit.我不同流合污还被处罚！抽烟可是恶心又伤身的习惯Yeah, it is the best. 对，抽烟最棒了What if this keeps happening? 万一这种事没完没了怎么办？They'll be smoking, making the decisions... 她们在外头抽烟做决定...and I'll be up in my office breathing in my stupid clean air. 我只能在办公室里呼吸愚蠢的新鲜空气And when Kim wants to promote one of us... 到时等阿金要升我们的职...who do you think she'll pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson? 你们想她会选谁？是我还是乌烟瘴气的冒烟女？We used to have a smoking area at work. 我们以前的公司有抽烟区It was great. There was this big flowerpot with dirt in it. 很棒的喔有个小花盆，里头有土We used to put our cigarettes out in it. 把烟放进去捻熄就行了One of the old-timers told me there used to be a little tree in there. 公司有个元老告诉我以前里头还有棵小树呢You can go down there and not smoke. Say you want some fresh air. 瑞秋，你也可以一起去不用抽烟，就说要去透透气I could do that. 对，这是方法Or you could do the easy thing and smoke. 简单点的就是一起抽烟You gotta take long, deep drags. 深深吸它个一口Wow,I still don't have my lung capacity back yet. 我的肺活量还没恢复Rach, do you wanna go get coffee? 瑞秋，要去喝咖啡吗？-I would love to. -Oh,good. 乐意之至好I'm gonna go too. 宝贝，我也想一起去Oh,good. 好啊Oh,I changed my mind. 等等，我变卦了Let's talk about the party. I have so many ideas. 好，来讨论派对的事我有一大堆点子Me too! 我也是Oh,look at that. 真是壮观This is a little sketch of the cake. See? 好，这是蛋糕的素描图Some sample menus. 还有一些菜单的样本I thought we'd start with a Tuscan-style finger food. 不如用异国小点心当前菜And for music, here's an alphabetized list of all of my CDs. 至于音乐呢这是我CD收藏的字母列表I've highlighted the ones that'll go with the food. 跟食物超搭配的还做了记号-What about the intimate dinner party? -We're not doing that. 不是说要亲密的晚餐派对吗？现在不那样做了Looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot,cohost. 看来你全包办了，多谢“共同”主办人Wait a minute. There's plenty of things for you to do. 怎么了？我没有一手包办啊你要做的事还有很多Like what? 举个例子？Cups. 杯子You're giving me cups? 杯子？你让我准备杯子？And ice. 还有冰块Cups and ice? I get to be in charge of cups and ice? 杯子和冰块？我可以负责杯子和冰块？All right. 好吧…Fine. I will be in charge of cups and ice. 行，我就来负责杯子和冰块-I can get ice at the restaurant -I got it! 等等，冰块可以从餐厅拿… 冰块是我的！…-How did the audition go? -Not so good. 试镜顺利吗？不太顺利Wait a minute. Are you doing Joey's: 慢着，你在学乔伊那招吗？"The audition didn't go so well.... Yeah,it did"? “试镜不太顺利” 事实上很顺利！对吧？Yeah,I am! 没错！-Yeah,Ben got a second audition. -That's great! 班取得了第二次试镜的资格太棒了I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback. 我得教导罗斯我的戏份因为我没有过关You got a callback too, didn't you? 你也过关了，对吧？Yeah,I did! 没错！What are you doing out here? 瑞秋，你怎么会来这里？It got kind of lonely up there, so I thought I would come out here... 里头有点无聊我想说来这里......and get some fresh air. ...透透气We're discussing the fall collection. 南茜和我正好讨论到秋装Oh,great. 太好了Anyway,we really 所以这是要…-Sorry. We're smoking all over you. -That's okay. 抱歉，瞧你被我们熏的不好意思没关系We'll move. You stay there. 不成…你待着，我们走I sent the designs to Ralph. He was excited about it. 反正我把设计寄给拉夫他对衬里很中意That's great! You are the best! 太好了，你是最棒的Excuse me. Can I bum one of those? 不好意思，能给支烟吗？Actually, this one's.... 这支就好…What's so funny over here? 你们在聊什么好笑的？I thought you didn't smoke. 我还以为你不抽烟的You know,I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes. 我以为你们是说大麻烟You know what I mean? Doobies? 像是天使尘那种Actually,I thought to myself, "Those guys are crazy!" 我还纳闷你们是疯了不成But no,I smoke the regular ones all the time. 没啦，我自己也抽烟照三餐天天都抽We get high. 我们是在抽大麻Me too. 我也是I'm kidding. 闹你的Me too. 我也是Oh,God! This is so nerve-racking. How do you do this? 老天，这真是折磨人你是怎么习惯的？Fortunately,I don't get many callbacks, so.... 我过关的经验不多，所以…Is it a good sign that they asked us to wait? 我们在试镜之后被留下来这是好现象吗？Who knows? 天知道We have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle... 最后入围的是雷蒙、班凯尔......and Joey. The rest of you,thank you. 和乔伊其余的人，辛苦了，谢谢Yes! I knew it! 好耶，我就知道！Bye-bye. 再会So long. 别过Later. 后会有期I'm not married to him anymore. He's my ex-husband. I'm totally gay!我不是他老婆喔，他是我前夫我百分之百是女同志This is great! I might get to play Ben's dad. 太棒了我有可能饰演班的爸爸Actually,that can't happen. 其实那是不可能的Because you have such different looks... 因为你们各自的长相都不同...we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. 所以我们把你和雷蒙配对凯尔和班是一组So it'll either be you two or you two. 所以最后只有一组会出线-This is gonna be kind of weird. -Yeah,it is. 要命，这样就有点尴尬了真的是Yeah. It's gonna be weird. 对，一定会很尴尬No. We're like best friends. That's why it's weird. 因为我们是最好的朋友所以才会尴尬I thought we were just talking. 原来如此…我只是答腔而已If Ben gets this commercial, do you think you can get me some free soup?如果班拿到广告演出机会你能帮我弄些免费的汤吗？Chandler, a can of soup is like 60 cents. 钱德，一罐汤又不用多少钱Yeah, okay,but I have been supporting a 29-year-old ltalian for five years. 对，但是我这五年来都在供养这29岁的意大利人Is it okay if I leave this here till Rachel's birthday party? 我能把这些东西放这里等着给瑞秋过生日吗？-Sure. What's in them? -Cups. 当然可以，里头是什么？杯子Good, because we got Rachel 800 gallons of water. 那好，因为我们替瑞秋准备了八百加仑的水That's a lot of cups. 老实说，这些杯子还真不少I'm in charge of cups and ice. 对，这是因为我负责杯子和冰块And Monica's gonna rue the day she put me in charge of cups and ice.摩妮卡在这一天将后悔莫及因为她要我负责杯子和冰块You know,I rued the day once. Didn't get a whole lot else done. 我也后悔过一次除了后悔没做别的Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. 好吧，该把其他杯子搬上来了乔伊菲比好吧，该把其他杯子搬上来了Ross, I'm glad you're here. 罗斯，你在这里正好-I want to talk to you. -What's up? 我有事要跟你说怎么了？I've been thinking about this commercial thing. Me against Ben. 我一直在想这次拍广告的事我和班硬碰硬The two of us competing. That can't lead to anything good. 捉对厮杀这样横竖都不会有好结果I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'll tell them that I won't audition. 我想我还是退出好了告诉他们我不去试镜Joey, that's great. Thanks,man. 乔伊，太好了，多谢That's it? 就这样？You're gonna let me do this? It's my career we're talking about! 你真要让我这样做？这事关我的职业生涯耶But you just 可是你说…I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it. 我是要套你说出让班退出If anyone should step aside, it should be Ben. 罗斯，如果真有人要退出那也应该是班-What? -Chandler,tell him! 什么？钱德，告诉他为什么Well, let me get the door first. 我先去开门Hi,no one! 没有人，你好Why should Ben step aside? 班为什么应该退出？It was his audition in the first place. You tagged along. 这原本就是他的试镜你是跟过去的You're like the tagalong dad! 就像是跟班老爹At least I care about his feelings. 起码我有顾虑到班的感受What? 什么？You know how hard it'll be on him when he doesn't get it? 你知道万一他没通过试镜到时他会有多难过吗？And why wouldn't he get it? 那他又为什么不会通过？Come on! 得了吧？Have you seen what my kid can do? 你有没有看过跟我同组的小子有多厉害？He dials phones, he eats tortilla chips. 他会拨电话、吃墨西哥脆片He plays soccer with the cartoon tiger! 还会凭空踢足球演对手戏呢Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid? 你是说你的小子喝汤比我儿子厉害？You just give him a spoon,baby. 你儿子才刚学会喝汤呢Oh,yeah? I guess we'll see! 是吗？我们走着瞧This commercial belongs to me and Mitch! 好啊，这支广告片的主角非我和米契莫属-Your kid's name is Raymond! -Yeah? So is yours! 你的孩子叫做雷蒙对，你的也是！（中央咖啡馆）你的孩子叫做雷蒙对，你的也是！-How did work go? -lt was great. 有没有用？很棒…I went down there like you said. And we talked business. 我听你们的建议去她们抽烟的地方我们讨论到了生意And Kim took my opinions. 阿金完全接受我的意见You stink! 你浑身烟味-Thanks. -No,I'm serious. 多谢我是说真的That's because I went down there and they were smoking. 因为那里的人全都在抽烟This is actually the smell of success. 这其实是成功的味道But there's something different 不过有点怪怪的Oh,my God! You smoked! 天啊，你有抽烟I did not. 我没有Yes, you did. You look happy and sick. You smoked! 才怪，你看起来生病又快乐你一定有抽烟All right, fine! But I had to. I had to do it for my career. 好啦…我有抽为了事业不得已I wish I had to smoke for my career. 好羡慕But it's so gross! 这样很恶心耶It's not that bad, you know? 没那么糟啦Yeah,my tongue feels a little fuzzy and my fingers sort of smell. 虽然舌头有点打结手指也有点怪味I actually feel like I could throw up. 其实我感觉快吐了-Can you hear yourself? -I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 听你自己在说什么我知道…我也很后悔I'm not myself. I smoked like half a pack. 我都不是我自己了我抽了半包烟I feel a little shaky and a little weird. 感觉怪怪的，还在发抖But you gotta push past this, okay? Because it's about to get so good.好，但你一定要撑过这一关再来就会是快乐无比了钱德好，但你一定要撑过这一关再来就会是快乐无比了You smell so smoky, I gotta get up. 你浑身烟味，我得去透透气I'm not kidding. 我没骗你I think you smell great. 我觉得你闻起来很香So we're decided. No on plaid, yes on pink. 所以大家都同意了不要格子图案，要粉红？Absolutely. 完全正确I'm so onboard. 我举双手双脚赞成-Didn't you just light that? -Yeah. 瑞秋，这支烟不是才刚点？是啊But you know what? 但是...I'm just really,really trying to cut back, you know. 我正在努力少抽烟Good luck, Rach. “瑞秋，我等着看笑话”I've been thinking about quitting. 其实我最近有想要戒烟Every Sunday night, I tell myself I'm quitting. 那可不，我每周日晚上都告诉自己要戒烟Every Monday morning, it's like: 结果周一还不是狂抽猛抽Tell me about it. 还用你说We'll just quit. Let's all quit! 那就戒了吧，我们一起戒烟It sounds appealing. 听起来是很诱人啦-I never could do it. -But you could. Absolutely. 我戒烟从没成功过你可以的，一定行We can help each other. We could get those patches. 我们可以互相帮忙用那个什么戒烟贴布的We could be like the Patch Sisters. 我们能组成戒烟三姐妹You know,we really should quit. Okay, let's quit! 其实我们真的应该戒烟好吧，一起来戒烟Great! Give me those cigs. Come on! 太棒了，把香烟给我来Give it! Out. Done. Quit. 通通交出来My late husband gave me that lighter. 那个打火机是我先夫送我的I'm not kidding. 我没在开玩笑Okay,then. 那好吧Mmm...soup. 汤Mmm...soup. 汤Mmm...soup. 汤Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room? 乔伊，罗斯随时会到我去上个厕所帮我看一下班，好吗？-No problem. -Thanks. 好啊，没问题谢谢嗨，班好啊，没问题谢谢So you want to be an actor? I gotta tell you, it's no picnic. 你想当演员啊？告诉你，演戏可不像野餐There's tons of rejection. No stability. 有碰不完的钉子一点都不稳定I mean,one day, you're Dr. Drake Ramoray. 前一天你还是德瑞克医生The next day,you're eating ketchup out of the bottle. 隔天你就要去啃番茄酱It's a tough life. I mean, sure, you can get up whenever you want... 这可是艰苦的生活没错啦，你是能决定起床时间...watch TV all day... 整天看电视也行...meet tons of women in acting class.... 在演员训练班里认识一卡车的女孩Oh, who am I kidding. I can't talk you out of this. It's a great life. 小子，我干嘛劝你打消念头这种生活太棒了-Joey. -Ross. 乔伊罗斯Ben. 班I mean,Ben. Ben. 班…Raymond, Joey, you're up. 雷蒙，乔伊，该你们上场了So here's what.... 好，现在要…Are you sure that I haven't seen you somewhere before? 我一定有在哪里见过你No, I haven't been in any plays. 没有，我都待在家All right,let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. 好吧，我们来试一次你们准备好了就开始Is there a problem? 有问题吗？Well,this is noodle soup. And I've been working with tomato. 这是面汤我练习时是用番茄汤But that's okay. No problem. 不过没关系…Mmm...noodle soup. 面汤…You know,that's fine. But the line is,"Mmm...soup." 你那样不错不过台词是“汤”-What'd I say? -"Mmm...noodle soup." 那我刚才说什么？ “面汤”How's that different? 有什么不一样？对… 有什么不一样？All right. Let's try one. 好，我们来试一次Mmm... 好，我们来试一次...noodle soup. 面汤Let's do it again. 好，我们再来一次Mmm...soup. 汤I mean, noodle soup. I mean, soup! 我是说“面汤” 不对，是“汤”Come on! 你争气点You know what? We need to move on. 我们得换下一组了No,I could do it one more time. 不…我再演一次Look. 你看Mmm...noodle soup. 面汤…Damn it! 可恶！So I think that if we get these samples into the magazine by Monday,we'll be fine.周一前把样品交给杂志社应该就没问题了Sounds good. So, Rach, how you doing? 听起来不错瑞秋，你还好吗？-I'm great! -No, with the not-smoking thing. 好极了不，我是说戒烟的事Kill me now. 可把我给搞死了Let me tell you something, I ate 40 Mallomars today. 跟你说我今天吃了40个棉花糖I mean, I have patches all over my body, you know? 全身贴满了戒烟贴布-I mean,I haven't slept in two days. -We quit yesterday. 我连续两天都失眠我们昨天才戒烟的That's counting today. 我连今天都算进去了But anyway, so these samples,I think 言归正传，我想这些样品…Oh,my God! 天啊I'm so sorry, I forgot. I have to go to the mailroom and mail some proofs.我忘记了，真的很抱歉我得去收发室寄送样张Go ahead. Rachel and I will just sit here and keep brainstorming. 尽管去我和瑞秋继续来脑力激荡Also,Vogue called. And they were wondering 时尚杂志也想知道… 你知道吗？…You know what? I'm a little hungry. I'm just gonna run down to the vending machines.我有点饿了我要去贩卖机买东西All right. 好吧Busted! 被逮到了Come on! What are you doing? I thought we were the Patch Sisters. 你们这是在干嘛？我们不是戒烟姐妹花吗？That didn't work out. 对，那样行不通Wait a minute. What about all we've talked about? 那我们说过的那些事呢？You know,the disgusting place, the ugly people. 说这恶心的地方，丑陋的人Hey,how you doing? 你好吗？We tried to quit. But it was too hard. 瑞秋，我们有试着戒烟但那实在是太难了If you started smoking again, you could have at least told me. 你们开始抽烟起码也该告诉我嘛Give me one of those. What are we talking about? 快点来一支，刚才说到哪里？No! You're doing great! Don't you give up. 不行，你戒烟很成功不许放弃That's why we didn't tell you, and we won't drag you down. 所以我们才没跟你说我们不想拖你下水Wait. No,no. Drag me down. 等等，别这样，拖我下水…Forget it. We're so proud of how well you're doing. 瑞秋，万万不可你戒烟成功，我们都替你骄傲I won't let you blow it. If I catch you, you're fired. 我不能让你前功尽弃若被我捉到我一定炒你鱿鱼Go on,get out of here. I don't want you breathing this stuff. 走吧，离开这里我不要你吸二手烟So, okay. You'll come with me on the Paris trip? 好，你和我一起去法国出差Oh,man! 要命！Check it out. Cup hat, cup banner... 你瞧瞧，杯子帽杯子布条...cup chandelier, and the thing that started it all: the cup! 杯子吊灯还有本尊：杯子Great job with the cups. 菲比，你对杯子还真有一套Why don't you just go out with her? 你干脆跟她去约会算了Did you notice the ice? Look! 你有没有注意到冰？We have it all. We have crushed, cubed and dry. Watch. 各式各样的都有有碎冰、冰块还有干冰注意看Mystical. 很有神秘感吧？Everyone-no one's eating my Tuscan finger food. Because they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones! 没人想吃我的小点心他们全跑去吃菲比的雪花冰There are snow cones? 有雪花冰？Snow cones! Yuck! 雪花冰最恶心了！-Go,go! Right there! -Thank you. 你去吃啦谢谢…菲比？你去吃啦谢谢…-You really did do a nice job. -Thank you... 你做的很棒谢谢你...for stating the obvious. 看就知道I deserve that. 我活该I just want you to know that if we ever cohost a party together again... 我只是要让你知道若我们下回再一起主办派对-...you can do whatever you want. -Joey's got a birthday coming up. 你想要怎么做都行乔伊的生日快到了-Really? What do you wanna do? -Okay,I'd like to be in charge of beer. 真的？那你要怎么帮他庆祝？好，我想要负责啤酒Well,then there's nothing left for me. 那我就没的做了-Look,look! -Surprise! 注意！… 惊喜！What? My birthday is not for another month. 什么啊？一个月后才是我生日啊That's the surprise. 这样才惊喜啊Oh,my God, you guys! This is so great! It's so unexpected. 天啊，你们太棒了我完全没想到I mean,Chandler's birthday is even before mine. 钱德的生日还比我早到呢Surprise! 惊喜！This is so great! Look at all these... 真是太棒了，看看这些......cups. ...杯子This is so weird. 真是怪怪的I was in charge of cups. 杯子是我负责的Oh,okay. Not so weird. 好，那就没那么怪了-Chandler, what are you doing? -Nothing. 钱德，你在干嘛？没干嘛-What's in your hand? -Money. I'm stealing all the money. 你手里拿是什么？钱，我偷走了所有的钱Chandler. 钱德But just one, okay? Because nobody knows when my birthday is. 抽一支就好因为没有人记得我的生日Let me make this clear to you,okay? 或许这能让你清醒一点It's either that... 有香烟…...or this. 就没有我They were menthol. 刚才那是薄荷烟Listen, man. I'm sorry the audition didn't go well. 我很遗憾你试镜不顺利Yeah, right. 是喔No, really. I am, Joey. I feel bad. 乔伊，我是真的很遗憾Look, Ross. You don't have to,okay? 罗斯，你用不着遗憾It's not your fault I suck. 是我自己逊，怨不得你What kind of an actor can't even say, "Mmm...noodle soup"? 连“面汤”都说不好还算哪门子的演员？You know what? Maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck.你知道吗？或许你搞砸了试镜不是因为你逊Maybe you messed up because you care more about your godson. 或许你搞砸了试镜是因为你更在意你的教子What do you mean? 什么意思？I think, subconsciously 我认为，在潜意识里…You lost me. 等等，我听不懂I think,on some level, you sabotaged... 我觉得在某种程度上你破坏了.......your own audition so Ben would get the part. 自己的试镜才好让班拿到那个角色Your way sounds a lot better than mine. 你的说法比我的好多了It's not that I'm a bad actor. 对，不是我演技烂No,it's just that I care so damn much about little Ben... 对只是我考虑的都是班...that it was more important for me to see him succeed. 看到他成功对我来说更重要-There you go. Thank you. -Thank you. 就是这样，谢谢你谢谢你-So did he get it? -No. 那他拿到角色没？没有What are you gonna do? 不如意事十之八九嘛Excuse me, is Rachel Green here? I'm meeting her for lunch. 不好意思，瑞秋葛林在吗？我跟她约了吃中饭She doesn't come down anymore. You can find her up on 10. 她现在不会下来这里了她在十楼Okay,great. 好…So we talked about the presentation. 我们昨天中饭聊到提案报告He wondered if one person would be enough. 他担心一个人出差不够看And I said, "Yeah,absolutely." 我说绝对没问题I'll catch you guys later. 后会有期了453 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000。
So it seems like this lnternet thing is here to stay,huh?It's okay not to talk.Hey,you guys,guess what.-Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce. -Oh,my God.What is the matter with you?No. Barry and Mindy.Oh,sorry. I hear "divorce," I immediately go to Ross.Who's Barry and Mindy?Barry was the guy that I almost married, and Mindy was my best friend. Wasn't he cheating on you with her?But that just means he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.-Why did they get divorced? -Well,apparently...she caught him cheating on her with someone else.Isn't that sad?Can you imagine if I'd married him? How different would my life be?I've always wondered how different my life would be...if I'd never gotten divorced.-Which time? -The first time!Imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian.I can't. I keep seeing it the good way.I bet I'd still be doing my karate.Towards the end of our marriage, I did a lot of karate to release the tension... from not doing anything else physical.Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it "ka-ra-tay."What if I was still fat?You wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure.-Sure I would. -Come on.You guys really think I'm that shallow?No,I just think Monica was that fat.Hey,imagine if I'd never got fired off Days of Our Lives.Hey. Hey,there's Carol again.What if I had had the guts to quit my job?I'd probably be writing for The New Yorker, being paid to be funny.But my job's fun too. I mean,tomorrow...I don't have to wear a tie.What if I'd taken that job at Merrill Lynch?-What? -Merrill Lynch?I had a massage client who worked there, and he said I had a knack for stocks. Why didn't you take the job?Because at that time,I thought that everything that rhymed was true.I thought if I worked with stocks...I'd have to live in a box and only eat lox and have a pet fox.Yeah,you don't want that in a broker.Do you guys think if all those things happened, we'd still hang out?The One That Could Have Beenrainystar压制iPod-MP4Oh,my God. Rachel Green?Rob Tilman!No, no, it's me. Ross.Oh,I'm sorry. Ross Tilman.-No. No,no. Ross Geller. -Of course! Monica's brother.-Yeah. Right. -Wow! How are you?Good. Good. I'm married.Me too!-Isn't it the best? -Oh,it's the best.-So how's Monica? -Really,really great.Actually,she's right down the street. You should stop by and say hi.-I would love to. -She'd be so excited.-Okay. -Come on.Wait,don't you have to pay for...Busty Ladies?No,that's okay. Some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I....Don't you have to give him his money back?Here you go,buddy. Sorry,no porn for you.Okay,let's go see Monica.So,Monica. Still going out with Dr. Boring,huh?He's not boring. He's just...He's low-key.-Here you go, one hazelnut latte. -Thank you.You know, the hazelnut, actually not a nut.It's a seed.Wow.Can anyone else name a well-known seed that's been masquerading as a nut? Oh,dear God. Let me think.What's the matter?I got another rejection letter.They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic" funny.I gotta get back to the hospital.-Bye. -Bye-bye.By the way, the answer is: the Brazil nut.Was his question, "What's more boring than him?"And nice sweater vest, by the way.-Stop it,guys. He's sweet. -Yeah,yeah.Hey,man. Sorry about the Archie thing.You need me to give you some money?I may have no money, but I still have my pride.Really?Joey doesn't have to give you the money.-TV stars have assistants,right? -That's an idea.If I hire an assistant, would you take money from her? No,Joey. Chandler could be your assistant.He could answer all your fan mail and stuff.-That would be great! Let's do that! -I could use the money. I'd have time to write.-Great. Welcome aboard! -Okay!All right. Now,I need to use the bathroom.Since I don't need any assistance in there,take a break!All right.-Hey. -Hey,Phoebe.Guess what. Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant. That's so sweet.Oh! Hang on!Hang on!Go!No. No,no. I said sell when it hits 50!Five-oh! It's a number! It comes after four-nine!No,it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed one mistake.Just kidding. You are,of course,fired.Oh,what a shame. I really liked her.Hey,Mon? Mon,look who I ran into!Oh,my God,Rachel!-God,you look terrific! -So do you!-Did you lose weight? -You are so sweet to notice.Yes,I lost 3.5 pounds!You remember my friend Chandler.-And that's Phoebe over there. -Hi.Sit down. How long has it been since we've seen each other?1987,the day after Christmas. Sean McMahan's party.I played you one of my songs,you know, "lnterplanetary Courtship Ritual." Oh,yeah. Right.-So,now,do you still do music? -Well,sometimes.-Come over sometime. I'll play you.. -Oh,my God!Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives just walked in here!-Rach,he's a friend of ours. -You're friends with Dr. Drake Ramoray?It's hard to be friends with Drake...because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real.Hey,or I could bring my keyboard here sometime.-He's coming over. -Joey?I know. Here,here.No. This is my friend Rachel. We went to high school together.-Hi. -Hi.I love you on that show.I watch you every day.When you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife...even though she tried to kill you...It's always nice to meet fans.-She's not crazy,is she? -No.So how you doing?Hang on.Hang on. Hang on.Go!Who's this?You're gonna like working for me.What's your name? What kind of name is "Brindy"?Stop talking.All right, from now on your name is Joan.You can pick your own last name.I can't find my pen. Did you eat that too?-There you are. -Uh-oh,it's my boss.Here's a list of things for you to do today.This is gonna be so great. Thank you so much.I gotta go to work. I'm delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine. "Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins.""Teach me how to spell vitamins.""Wear in my new jeans."-You realize what you are,don't you? -What?You're his bitch!No,no! No!Wait! You didn't sit on my Kit Kats did you?No,there was a little, little dip in the market...and I lost 13 million dollars.But the Kit Kats are all right?What am I gonna do? I can't call my office, they'll kill me.I can't call my clients, they'll kill themselves!-Great,now my chest hurts. -What?My chest hurts.-And now I can't breathe. -Are you having a heart attack?If I were, would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?-Yes. -Then,yes. That is what I'm having.Oh,my God!Okay,this thing is useless. So will you dial 911 for me?Come on,Phoebe, it's not that bad.Most people would be excited if they didn't work for a couple weeks.Most people don't like their jobs. I love my job.I've been not working for three hours, and I'm already going crazy.I miss Joan.Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down.I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die. You're not gonna die.I mean,you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today.I wish I was dead.Let's take a walk.You should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.What's going on with you?Well,I've been doing a lot more of my karate.-Still a dry spell with Carol? -Yeah.How long has it been since you've had sex?-Well,last weekend... -Oh,that's not so bad.will be two months...since I stopped trying.You need to spice things up.-What do you mean? -I don't know.You could tie her up. You could eat stuff off each other.Dirty talk, menage a trois, toys.Role-playing. You're the warden, she's the prisoner.-You're the pirate, she's the wench. -Okay,I think I got it.Or you could be two stockbrokers, and you're rolling naked on the trading floor... and everybody's watching.It never happened.Sorry.-So how is it going with Joey? -Just great. He beeps me now with codes.One is: "Bring me food."Two is: "I'm with a girl. Bring us food."Three is: "I'm lost and I can't find food."Oh,sweetie.Is there any food around here?-Is she gonna be all right? -Yeah,she's in there.Oh,great.Go take off those pants. They look ready.And over there is Brady's Pub...where I like to unwind after a long day of "surgeoning." This is so amazing. What else?Well,that is a large piece of television equipment.And that is an old man.-Hey,old man! -Hey.Alrighty. What do you say we head back to my place? You know,I would really love to, but I shouldn't. Why? Why can't the world stop turning...just for a moment, just for us?Isn't that a line from the show?Yeah,but...I may have said those things before, but...I never truly meant them until now.That's a line from the show too!Okay,you watch too much TV.Here's the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. Thanks.There's pulp in that.怎样？I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp.No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice.I'm sorry. I guess I just like the pulp.I'm sorry. I am being so rude.Rachel,would you like a soda or something?Because Chandler will run right out and get it.Yeah, well, sure, iced tea would be great.Iced tea.Okay. Anything for you,sir?Did I not just tell him?Okay, look, Chandler, if this is gonna work...you have got to listen.You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't you?It's not all juice.So,honey,this morning was fun,huh?Me hopping in on you in the shower there?Yeah, maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms. Look,Carol,I was thinking maybe...Maybe we can spice things up a little.-What do you mean? -Carol,our sex life. It's just not..-Dad! -Hey there,little fella!Why don't we get some shoes on you,huh?Why don't you show Dad how you can put your shoes on in your room. Seriously,our sex life.I was thinking maybe,I don't know...we could try some new things,you know,for fun.-Like what? -Well,I don't know.What if we were to...tie each other up?Some people eat stuff off one another.Yeah.You know,we could try dirty talk.-We could have a threesome. -I love that idea!Who sold a story to Archie Comics?Oh, my God, that's so great.You're a published writer. I wish I had a present for you. Wait a minute.My last Kit Kat bar.-You want to share it? -Okay!Chandler,I know you're mad. I'm sorry.I was a total jerk. Completely over the line.I just... I hate pulp.You know how Monica feels about low-fat mayonnaise? It's not mayonnaise!Anyway,I just wanted to say I'm sorry,and here.-What's this? -Fresh-squeezed orange juice,with pulp. -Just the way you like it. -Thanks,man.Hey,Joey.Joey? Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics.That's great! Congratulations! What's the story?You wouldn't care. It's just a stupid comic book story. Are you kidding me? I love Archie and the whole gang. Well,Archie needs money to fix his jalopy.But he doesn't want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assist..As his butler.And then makes him do crazy things...Like bring him milk shakes that can't have lumps in them.Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar.Did they already do that one? I think I read it!Monica,listen. I have to ask.Okay,Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment.-Does he do this with a lot of girls? -Yeah,a lot. A lot,a lot.And I'm one of them.I just cannot believe this. I mean,Joey Tribbiani.You don't have to use his last name.But, Monica, come on, it's Joey Tribbiani.I guess you have to.It's none of my business, but aren't you married?Yeah.I wish we could just not be married for a little bit.You know,I just wish we could be, like,on a break.Well,you're not.It's easy for you. You're not married. You can have sex with whoever you want. Yeah,I can.Don't think I don't. I do.I mean,all the time. You bet!Monica?You've done it,right?Of course I have. What do you think, I'm,like,some 30-year-old virgin?Oh,my God. You're a 30-year-old virgin.Say it louder. The guy in the back didn't hear you.Yeah,I heard it.It's not like I haven't had the opportunity.I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.I'm seeing this guy Roger. He's not perfect...but I'm thinking maybe I should get it over with.You know,give him my flower.Oh,my God,do it! Honey, you've waited long enough.-You know what? You are right. -Sex doesn't have to be a big deal. There shouldn't be all these rules and restrictions.People should be able to sleep with whoever they want, whenever.. Rachel,I'm never gonna think it's okay for you to cheat on your husband. What do you know,virgin?Phoebe?Why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?The doctor said that could be one of the side effects.Put the cigarette out.No,it's not a cigarette. The smoke is coming out of me!-Put it out. -Okay,okay!-I'm so glad you're here. -Come on.-I got it. -Give it to me!-I got it. -Give it!Hello?She can't come to the phone now.Right. No problem. Okay, bye-bye.Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?No,just relax. Nobody yelled.Jack was making sure you were getting better.Thank God.Yeah, she's fired.You've done all you can, Dr. Wesley.You've got to let her go.Goodbye and Godspeed, Hope Brady.Not so fast, Wesley.Ramoray!That's right,Wesley.I just stopped by to say that you're not a real doctor.And that woman's brain is fine.Oh,thank God.-Hope? Hope? -Drake.You're not dying,Hope.You're gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.Oh,Drake.Okay.Here we go.好Hi,Joey? It's Rachel.I am free tomorrow night.Yeah,sure,sure, I can bring some sandwiches.So,honey...this threesome thing?How are we even gonna start to find..?Actually, I'm making a list of women I know who might be into this. Boy.Someone's been doing their homework.I know Gail Rosten is in there twice...but she is so....Oh,I know.You know, just talking about it is getting me kind of...I know. Me too.I think Ben's asleep.You know,I think it'll be better if we just save it.也对Right. Save it. I can do that.Why do you always wear that dumb hat?What,you late for your paper route?"Hi,Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Here's your paper.I'm sorry about your window."Hey,Phoebe.How's it going?I've got to get out of this bed. I'm going crazy here! Crazy!Here you go,sweetie.What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea.Well,I put some honey in it.-She doesn't know she was fired? -No,the doctors say it may kill her. What are you girls whispering about over there?But I think we should tell her.Look, Phoebe, maybe this whole heart-attack thing is a sign...that you should start thinking about getting a different job.Okay, what is this, a stupid contest?Because we've got a winner here.He's right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.I know. But if I didn't work there, what else would I do?-You used to like playing the guitar. -That was lucrative. Smart like your brother. What about the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.Pulling in a salary in the high six figures...or rubbing gross naked people for chump change.What do I do? What will I do?I mean,it's just so realistic.I know.His name's Pat.Pat the dog.I get it!Ready for a refill?I probably shouldn't.So I will!-It's like it's raining. -Pretty cool,huh?But if you think you could put a fish in there...and it wouldn't get sucked into the mechanism, you'd be wrong.Can I use your bathroom?It's right through there.You know,I gotta tell you.If someone told me a week ago...that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment...Life's pretty great,isn't it?I hope you're hungry.We're starting with oysters.You know what they say about oysters, don't you?They have parasites?不是Some people say that oysters are an aphrodisiac.-What people? -People.People say it.Come here.So,oysters,huh?Then we'll have a little Middle Eastern couscous.Something we can eat...with our hands.When we were studying communicable diseases..No,no. No.It's sensual.Didn't know. Okay.讨厌Sorry,it's the hospital.The food looks great. Save me some?I can't promise anything.We're really gonna do this?Looks like it.If this is too weird for you, you can still back out anytime..I got it!苏珊-Thank you so much for coming. -I wouldn't have missed it for the world.I'm Ross, by the way.Hello,Ross.-I love what you've done with this space. -Thank you so much. How hot is this?!I'm sorry you're here with me instead of Roger.Yeah,me too.Well,I could make it seem like he's here."Here's some little-known facts about couscous:They didn't add the second 'cous' until 1979."Stop it! That's not funny!I'm sorry,okay? It's just...tonight was supposed to be a big deal.-What was tonight? -You don't want to know.好吧What was tonight?Tonight was going to be my first time.With Roger?Not just with Roger?Oh,my God.All right,relax, Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times!Four different women!I've had sex way more times.-How many? -Nine.I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.Good for you. You really think that Roger's the perfect guy? No, but he's not a horrible guy.That's what I tell girls about me.Chandler,I'm gonna die a virgin!No,you are not. You are sweet and wonderful...and this is gonna happen for you.Oh,really? When? Do you want to do it with me?Okay.I was kidding.So was I.You're such an amazing actor.How do you know where Dr. Drake Ramoray leaves off...and Joey Tribbiani begins?Well,with Dr. Drake...they always tell me what to say.And with Joey,I pretty much have to make it up on my own.Tell me something,Joey.-I just fell right off the couch there. -Yeah,you did.Here you go. Let me ask you a question.When was the last time...someone told you just how beautiful you are?Wow.I can't feel my hands.Come on. Come here.We can't do this.Oyster?If we did do this, there'd be a lot of pressure on me.Because you've waited a long time, and I wouldn't want to disappoint you.But I have nothing to compare it to.Even if you were horrible, how would I know?I do like that.It's harder for me. I have four women to compete with.Well,if it helps, there were only three.So it'd just be for tonight, right?Absolutely. It would just be one friend helping out another friend. Stop it. We're not doing this.-Let's do it! -No!Okay!Do you have any moves?I have some moves.I have no moves.Okay,what you doing there?-I'm sorry,this is just too weird. -Yeah,forget it.What if I turn out the lights?赞钱德？怎样？That's the couch.I know.Oh,my God!I know!I'll tell you something.We are gonna do that again!没问题Morning.Oh,right.Oh,God.Oh,I can't believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up.He actually saw you a little bit too.Oh,God,we didn't...?Not after seeing that.God,I'm just a horrible person.-Wh..? Why? -Because I'm married.That's right,I'm a married woman.I came to a TV star's apartment to have an affair.That's ridiculous.I'm not a "star."I'm just a regular famous actor.And I'm a horrible,horrible person.Rachel,will you stop saying that?Hey,look.Remember on the show when Capri was dying?-And she gave me.. -The ring from the cave.好…Oh,my God! They let you keep that stuff?Sure. As long as they don't find out, you can keep whatever you want. And I want you to have it.No,I couldn't.Every time you look at it...I want you to remember that you are a good person.Now,you had the chance to cheat...and with me.But you didn't. And that's what this ring stands for.But I thought that ring stood for Capri's undying love for her brother. Look,you want the ring or not?Hey,look at you! You're up!I thought I'd try to take a walk.Will you pour me some water? I'll be back soon.You're not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are you?No. I've learned my lesson.Let's go! Come on! Move it!Phoebe,come on!Shoes,briefcase. Thanks,Lou. Good luck with the gallbladder.Hey,Joe...did you ever have a threesome?Look,Ross,I think Carol's great, and I'm sure you're very attractive,but... No. The reason I'm asking is that...I sort of had one last night.You?All right. So? Was it amazing?It was...okay.Just okay? Did you do it right?Look, it's just, did you ever go to a party and think:"Would anyone really miss me if I weren't here?"But still,Ross...your worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day.It's just...my part seemed to be over pretty quickly...and then there was a lot of waiting around.But you got to be with both of them.Not really.Just Carol.-Not the other one? -No,she kept kicking me away. You don't want that.At least you got to see a lot of stuff.Oh,I saw a lot of stuff.-You get a little bored? -A little.Made a snack.-What'd you have? -Just a sandwich.Turkey. A little mustard.-Sounds good. -It really was.Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night. Wait a minute,that was you.Hey,check me out. I'm a slut!So you want to do something tonight?I can't. Dr. Roger's coming over again.Oh,right.Because you're still seeing him, and he's a good guy.I remember a time....Are you okay?Yeah,totally.Totally. Are you?Great. It's so amazing.Last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous.But after being with you, I'm like,"Can the doctor see me now?"I bet he can."l don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical." -You sure you're okay? -Don't worry about me,I'll be fine.My God! Barry!You said you were going to be away all weekend!That's right! I'm sorry! I am early!Finish, please!Surprise! Look who's back!菲比Call security.Phoebe,didn't you get fired?I don't think so.菲比？杰克-What are you doing here? -All better. Back to work.This clown from research told me I was fired.He should do his research,huh?Well,you were fired.没有I told that guy who answered your phone.I didn't get that message. So this doesn't count.Anyway,I'll be in my office.Phoebe,you don't have an office.I'll work right here.This is good. Next to this plant.You're in my office.I've made a lot of cash for this company. I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake..You lost 13 million dollars.So now this is all about money?You know, it's bad enough that...You have got to be kidding.-Are you all right? -I'm having another heart attack.I'm having another heart attack!Call 911!Dumb-ass!Phoebe,how's it going?They fired me, and I'm having a heart attack.Well,welcome back.Is Joey Tribbiani here?If you see him,please tell him I'm looking for him...and that this time I am not gonna throw up!Well,that's always good news.Are you okay?Me? I'm great!I'm fine! I'm so good!But you know who's not great?Men!You're a man, right, Ross?Sit down.Let me ask you something.Do wedding vows mean squat to you people?Why is it that the second we tell you we are going out of town... bam, there you are in bed with the neighbor's dog-walker?We're sorry.No,seriously. Seriously. What has happened to the sanctity of marriage? -Didn't you spend last night at Joey's? -What are you,a detective?I don't know what's going on with you and your husband...and what is hopefully an adult dog-walker.Look,can I just say, not all men are like that.There are men who'll do anything to make their marriage work.Men who will stand by and watch...as their wives engage in what can only be described as a "twosome"... with some woman she barely knows from the gym!Who are these men?Just men. A guy I know.Well,you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife...is gay.She is not...She's gay.Oh,my God.She is so gay!I can't believe this.Good day for married people,huh?I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.I'm sorry your wife is gay.I guess women aren't that great either.Try telling my wife that.Okay to come in?Come in, eat, whatever you want.Dr. Roger got beeped again.Yeah,I know. Guess who beeped him.I'm the ruptured spleen.Why would you do that?Because you shouldn't be with him.You should be with me.Really?When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me. Things like last night, they don't just happen.At least not to me. I mean, with the other two women...in the morning, I couldn't wait to go hang out with my friends. But with you...I was,you know, already with a friend.You probably don't want to go out with me.I make too many jokes, I've never been in a serious relationship... and I'm not technically a "doctor."There was just one woman, wasn't there?No, there were two.-Including me? -Oh,yeah.It only takes two heart attacks To finally make you seeOne of them won't do it But the second will set you freeTell all your hate and anger It's time to say goodbyeAnd that is just what I will doSoon as those bastards I worked for Die。
- Coffee. - Thank you.- Cappuccino. - Grazie.And a nice, hot cider for Monica.Thank you.Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? That's why.Sorry.Chandler?Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today.May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today. If it's about those prank memos,I had nothing to do with them, really.Hey, you guys!Chandler's coming and he has incredible news.So when he gets here, let's all act, like, you know Never mind. But it was gonna be really good.What's going on?So it's a typical day at work......and Big Al calls me into his officeand tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. - That is great! - Congratulations!So I quit.Why?Why? This was a temp job.Chandler,you've been there for five years.I know, but if I took it,I'd be admitting that this is what I do.Was it a lot more money?Doesn't matter. I just don't want to bea guy who sits in his office until 12'o clock in the night... ...worrying about the WENUS.The "WENUS"?Weekly estimated net usage system.It's a processing term.Oh, that WENUS.What will you do?I don't know, that's the thing I don't know what I want to do.I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.I have something you can do!I have this new massage client, Steve.Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant......and he's looking for a head chef.- Hi, there. -Hi.I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first.But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so....I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience.Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.What kind of food is he looking for?He wants to do something eclectic.He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu. - Oh my God! - I know!So, what do you think?Thanks. Pheebs.- I just don't see myself in a big, white hat. -Ok.Oh, Monica! Guess what?Can you see my nipples through this shirt?No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.Where are you going? Mr. suity manI have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman,career counselor-a-go-go!- I added the "a-go-go." - Career counselor?You guys all know what you want to do.I don't.You guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.I love my life! I love my life!"Brian's Song"!- The meeting went great? - So great!He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be.It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street.Not too big, not too small. Just right.Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? I'm cooking for him Monday night, kind of an audition. Phoebe, he wants you here.It's great for me. You can make yummy noises.- What are you gonna make? - Yummy noises.And Monica, what are you gonna make?I don't know. It's gotta so be great.I know what you can make! I know!You should make that thing with the stuff.You know that thing with the stuff?Okay, I don't know.Guys. Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?- Who are you going out with? - Is this the bug lady?"I love you, Ross."Her name is Celia she's not a bug ladyand she's curator of insect at the museum.- What are you gonna do? - Go out to dinner......then bring her back to my placeand introduce her to my monkey.And he's not speaking metaphorically.So back to your place? You thinking maybe....Well, I don't know....I'm hoping....I'm telling you. That monkey is a chick magnet.She'll take one look at his cute, little faceand it'll seal the deal.Celia, don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you!Soothing tones.- Here, Marcel. - I can't stand this.- He's got his claws on my - Yeah, all right.Okay, try this salmon mousse.Good.Is it better than the other salmon mousse?- It's creamier. -Yeah? Well, is that better?I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish.I'm just happy I'm keeping it down.God, what happened to you?Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests......intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? "You're suited for data processingfor a large multinational corporation."That's so great! You already know how to do that.Can you believe it?Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool?I just always pictured myself doing something.... Something!Chandler, I know, I know.Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt.Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up.I had a grape about five hours ago,so I better split this with you.It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer.The French call it an amuse-bouche.Well, it is amusing.Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00.What did we say, $10 an hour?Okay, great. All right, I'll see you then.$10 an hour for what?I ask one of the waitress from work, she's helping me. Waitressing?Of course I thought of you. But....- But.... - But, but....But it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? Wendy's more of a professional waitress.And I'm maintaining my amateur statusso I can waitress in the Olympics.I don't mean to brag,I don't mean to brag,but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76.Amuse-bouche?Talk to me.A weird thing happened on the train this morning Talk dirty.- Here? - Come on. Come on.Say something hot.What? What?Vulva.Vulva?I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise.But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling.You cuddled? How many times?Shut up. It was nice.I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy.What's the big deal? Just say what you wanna do to her.Or what you want her to do to you.Or what other people might be doing to each other.I'll tell you what. Try something on me.Please be kidding.Why not?Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. Ok, I'm in my apartment....- Yeah, what else? - You're not there.- We're not having this conversation. - All right, I'll start.- Joey, please... - Come on, ready, look.Oh, Ross......you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.- Now you say something. - I really don't think so.- You like this woman, right? - Yeah.- You wanna see her again, right? - Sure.If you can't talk dirty to me,how will you talk dirty to her?Now tell me you wanna caress my butt!Okay, turn around.I don't want you staring at me while I'm doing this.All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead.I want Okay, I want......to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips.There you go. Keep going, keep going.I want to take my tongue andSay it.Say it!run it all over your body...... until you're trembling withWith?- Funny story. - You're not gonna believe this.It's Ok, I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. Chandler, while you were sleeping,that guy from your old job called again.- Again? - And again and again and again.Hello. And again.Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor?Yeah, I miss you too.Yeah. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. That's very generous. But this isn't about the money.I need something more than a job.I need something I really care aboutThat's on top of the year-end bonus you metioned earlier?Your dream!Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay?This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection!No, no, no Stop saying numbers!I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy!I'll see you Monday!Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle.This is a cube!Look at this.You have a window!Yes, indeed-y. With a beautiful view ofLook! That guy's peeing!That's enough of the view. Check this out.Okay, sit down here.This is great.- You ready? - Yeah.Helen, could you come in here?Thank you, Helen. That'll be all.Last time I do that. I promise.Wendy, We had a deal.Yeah, you promised.Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!- Who was that? - Wendy bailed.I have no waitress.That's too bad. Bye-bye.Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour!Mon, I wish I could,but I've made plans to walk around.Rachel. When you ran out on your wedding, I was there for you.I put a roof over your head!If that means nothing to you....Twenty dollars an hour.Done.Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat?- Hi, Steve. - Hello, Monica.Hello, greeter girl.- This is Rachel. - Yeah, okay.Everything smells so delicious.I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of Okay, smells.- It's a lovely apartment. - Thank you. Would you like a tour?I was just being polite, but all right.- What's up? - In the cab on the way over......Steve blazed up a doobie.What?- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. - Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. I'm with you, Cheech.Is it dry in here?Let me get you some wine.I think we're ready for our first course too.These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce......with just a touch of minced......ginger.Well, smack my ass and call me Judy!- These are fantastic! - Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them.Like them? I could eat 100 of them!That's all there is of these......but in a few minutes, we'll serve some delicious onion tartlets. "Tartlets?""Tartlets.""Tartlets."Word has lost all meaning.Excuse me. Can I help you with anything?You know, I don't know what I'm looking for.Cool! Taco shells!They're like a little corn envelope, you know?- You don't wanna spoil your appetite. - Hey, Sugar-O's!You know, if you just wait another 6 1/2 minutesMacaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!- No, we don't. - Oh, okay.Sorry.Why don't you just have a seat here?- Give me the gummy bears. - No.- Give them to me. - We'll share.- No. Give me the bears. - Then you can't have any.- Give them to me! - It's not worth it!Bears overboard! They're drowning!Hey, fellas, grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves!Help! Help, I'm drowning!- That's it! Dinner is over! - What! Why?Why?I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this......and you can't wait 4 1/2 minutes for a stupid tartlet? You don't wanna work for that guy like that.I know, I just thought that this was it.You get it. You're an amazing chef.Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.So, how did it go with Celia?- I was unbelievable. - All right, Ross!I was the James Michener of dirty talk.It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard.I mean, there were characters, plot lines,themes, a motif.At one point, there were villagers.And?By the time we finished all the dirty talk it was kind of late and we were kind of exhausted, so...- You cuddled. - Yeah, which was nice.Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie?Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler?Where the hell is he?Yes, friends, I know what time it is......but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!Let me tell you something.You will care about it because I care about it.Got it? Good!How's this?Sorry. How about over here?That means it's working.- Does this hurt? - No.How about this?There you go!I'm gonna throw up!第一季第十五集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。
What am I sitting on?Top of the world?Dock of the bay?I'm out.Oh,undies!Whose are they?-Whose are they? -Not mine.Joey's! Got to be Joey's.They're mine.See,Joey's. They're Joe-Joe-Joey's.Why are they here?I don't know.Because I'm Joey.I'm disgusting.I take my underwear off in other people's homes.Get them out of here. What's wrong with you?对啊好恶-Take them! -I got them.You can touch them. They're yours.Chandler? A word?I'm tired of covering for you two. This has got to stop. Tighty-whiteys? What are you,8?Thank you,Joey,so much.You're not welcome,okay?Look,I hate this. You guys keep embarrassing me. Yesterday,Rachel found your razor in our bathroom.I said it was mine, and that I was playing a woman in a play. Then one thing led to another,and....And around the ankles, that is a tough spot.It was. All right,listenAll this lying has been hard on us too.Yeah,I bet all the sex makes it easier.Yeah,actually.Meanwhile,I get Rachel shoving your underwear in my face... ...and asking when she can come see me star in Ugly Woman. We'll be more careful.We don't want them to know because it's going really well.And maybe it's going well because it's a secret.It sounds weird, but we're so bad at relationships.-We are. Help us! -Help!All right. But you do it with me once.-Joey! -Didn't think so.The One With Ross' Sandwich51Does anybody else just take off their underwear when they're hot? 菲比What are you reading?Wuthering Heights.I have to finish it by tomorrow for my literature class.You're taking a class? That's so cool.I really liked that Lamaze class I took.I thought this time I'd go for something more intellectual......with a less painful final exam.That sounds like fun.Oh,you should come with me!Then I'll have someone to sit with.好啊Do you have time to read it?I read it in school.This is going to be so much fun! I have to finish.But what time does the class start?嗨What's wrong,buddy?Someone at work ate my sandwich.What did the police say?My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich.I can't believe someone ate it.It's just a sandwich.Just a sandwich?I am 30 years old,okay?I'll be divorced twice and I got evicted.That sandwich was the only good thing in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life! That's a nice sweater vest.I have enough for one more sandwich.I was going to eat it myself,but....Mon,that would be incredible. Thank you so much.I still can't believe someone ate it!Look,I left a note and everything."Knock-knock." "Who's there?""Ross Geller's lunch.""Ross Geller's lunch,who?""Ross Geller's lunch. Please don't take me. Okay?"I'm surprised you didn't wear it home.Want to keep your food? Scare people off.I learned that on the street.Really?What would you say,Phoebe?Stuff like: "Keep your mitts off my grub."Do you picture Phoebe on the street with the entire cast of Annie? This'll keep them away from your stuff.哇Phoebe,you are a badass!Someday I'll tell you how I stabbed the cop.He stabbed me first!The Bronte sisters were remarkable women for their time.They lived in a patriarchal society.Sorry I'm late, but I left late.So,what is the book about?Didn't you read it in high school?I started it,but then there was this pep rally.And I was on top of the pyramid.But anyway......what's the book about?It's a tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff.It takes place on these creepy moors in England.Which I think represent the wildness of Heathcliff's character.I totally get symbolism.How would you characterize the theme of this book?Let's see.... Rachel Greene?I would have to say that it's a tragic love story.That's sort of a given......but,yes. Anyone else?Symbolism!And the wildness of the moors......which I think,is mirrored......in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here....You completely stole my answer!Honey,that was pretty obvious.How would you know? You didn't read it!What do you think? You in the blue shirt?I think that yours is a question with many possible answers. Would you care to venture one?Would you care to venture one?Are you just repeating me?Are you just repeating me?All right. Let's move on.Okay,then.Why didn't you say you hadn't read the book?I didn't want him to think I was stupid.That was really embarrassing, what happened to you. Your note?Amazing!Not only did no one touch my sandwich......but people at work are actually afraid of me.A guy called me "Mental.""Mental Geller."I've always wanted a cool nickname like that.The best you got in high school was "Wet Pants Geller." It was the water fountain,okay?!Anyway......people are writing reports for me......pushing back deadlines to fit my schedule.I tell you, you get tough with people......and you can get anything you want.Hey,Tribbiani! Give me that coffee! Now!This was really fun.I've been wondering if you'd ask me out.So you still wondering?No. We just went out.You're smart.I like that.Oh,candles!What is that,a blanket?A video camera? Oh,my God!I can't believe you thought you'd tape us having sex on the first date! 你好Joey,is what she just said....Oh,my God!You're actually goingWhat is going on here?And with Chandler in the next room. What are you,sick?I'm Joey.I mean, I'm disgusting.I make low-budget adult films.You promised to be more careful!The good Joey name's been dragged through the mud!We're so sorry.I'm telling everyone.It's the only explanation that doesn't make me look like a pig!No,there's a better explanation.Tell them you had to make an adult film for your......adult film class.I like that. But no!How does that explain my underwear at your place?I don't know.Get ready to come out of the non-gay closet.I promise to come up with something. Just give us time.All right.But it better make me look really good.And another thing:The video camera?Nice!“史前历史博物馆”May I have a word?Of course,Donald.We've been getting reports of very angry behavior on your part.-What? -Threatening letters......refusal to meet deadlines.Apparently people now call you Mental.是啊We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.You don't understand. This is so silly.00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:38,540A sandwich?You see,my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches.Her secret is,she puts an extra slice of gravy-soaked bread in the middle.I call it "The Moistmaker."Anyway,I put my sandwich in the fridge....Oh,you know what?I'm sorry.I believe I ate that.You ate my sandwich?A simple mistake. It can happen to anyone.Oh,really?Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moistmaker? Do you,perhaps,remember......seeing a note on top of it?There may have been a joke or limerick of some kind. That said it was......my sandwich!Now,calm down.Look in my office. Some may be in the trash. What？It was quite large. I had to throw most of it away. You threw my sandwich away?My sandwich?!My sandwich?!What's this book about?You didn't read it,either?I was going to,but I accidentally read something else. Vogue.So tell me about Jane Eyre.No,read it yourself.Come on, don't be such a goody-goody.Fine.All right. So,Jane Eyre?First,you'd think she's a woman, but she's not.She's a cyborg.A cyborg? Isn't that like a robot?This book was light years ahead of its time.Sorry I'm late. Let's get started.What did you think of Jane Eyre?Rachel and I were discussing it, and she had very interesting insights. Go ahead,Rachel.Thank you,Phoebe.What struck me most when reading Jane Eyre......was how the book was so ahead of its time.If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right.Well,feminism,yes. But also the robots.嘿嘿Since that video camera thing didn't work out......I thought that I would give you just a little preview.You're naked!I know!罗斯钱德摩妮卡Are you okay?I'm fine.I saw a psychiatrist at work today.Why?On account of my rage.Which,if I may say, right now is out of control.He gave me a pill for it.A pill?When the psychiatrist told me to take a leave of absence......because I yelled at my boss, I started to get worked up again.So he offered me a tranquilizer.And I thought it was a good idea.So I took it.They're making you take time off work?And you're okay with that?I don't know.It's going to be weird not having a job for a while.But I definitely don't care about my sandwich.I hate it when they make me see the shrink at my office.He's always like, "Your colleagues will like you better if you like yourself better." Who needs that?-You do. -I know.It's so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on like that!I'm sorry.It was so funny when you compared Jane Eyre to Robocop.That was not funny!I snapped,okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.Come on! What is the big deal?I thought it'd be something we could do together.I thought it would be fun.Fun is good.But I also wanted to learn.People talk about what they learned in high school. I never went.So you really wanted to learn.You know,Phoebe, I just wanted to have fun.You know who should go?I know! I know! I know!Monica,you asked the question.Oh,my God,that's Monica!No，no，noYou get away from me, you sick,sick,sicko!What's going on?Joey has got a secret peephole!-Oh,no! -Yes,he has a naked picture of Monica!He takes naked pictures of us,then he eats chicken and looks at them! Oh! Dude,that's my sister!Give me that!Wait! Everybody calm down,okay?Let's give our friend a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!I am not a pervert,okay?It's just....I just kind of....I think I can explain this.Thank you.Joey's a sex addict.What?! No,I'm not!It's okay! It's good!It's a disease.I am not a sex addict!Yes,you are!That's the only way to explain all this stuff!No,it isn't. It's not.Because you could also explain it with the truth!What is the truth?-What's up? -What's going on?I slept with Monica.Well, let's see what everybody thinks of that.天啊You slept with my sister?Yes,but it wasWe just did it once,in London.This is not good for my rage.Is this true?Of course,it's true.How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on? Yes,it's true.If it happened once,how come we found your underwear in our apartment? That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London.Right,Monica?I guess I wanted to keep it......as a souvenir.My God,Monica!Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica.She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!That's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.That makes sense.And the video camera?摩妮卡？I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey. But,sadly, I could not be enticed.Monica,this has to stop now.I know,I know.I know. I will,and I would appreciate if we all could just... ...drop it immediately,and forever.Okay. That is,if you can resist me.-I'll give it my best shot. -Good luck.Unbelievable!You really kept Joey's underwear?Why? Why would you do that?I'm Monica.I'm disgusting.I stalk guys and keep their underpants.I think we've all learned who's disgusting and who's not. Now,I'm going to get back to my bucket.I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. You were making a good point.I mean,till you got cut off.What's up with that girl Monica?I don't know. I didn't come with her.Hey,everybody! Everybody,guess what!I just convinced Carl to give us a test.Test?Come on! Tests make us all better learners!Oh,yeah! We should have essay questions!397。
Chandler! Chandler!I saw what you were doing in the window!I saw what you're doing to my sister! Get out here! Listen,we had a good run.What was it? Four,five months?That's more than most people have in a lifetime. Goodbye. -What are you doing? -I am going on the lam.Come on,Chandler. I can handle Ross.Hold on!Hey,Ross. What's up,bro?What the hell are you doing?What's going on?I think Ross knows about me and Monica.Dude,he's right there.I thought you were my best friend! This is my sister!My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this!We're not just messing around. I love her.I'm in love with her.I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way.I'm sorry, but it's true. I love him too.My best friend and my sister!I cannot believe this!You guys want to probably get some hugs in too. Big news! We've actually known for a while.What? You guys knew?You all knew and you didn't tell me?We were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react. You were worried about me?You didn't know how I'd react?Okay. All right.Let's clear out of here and let these lovebirds get back to business.I'm just talking here. He's the one doing your sister.The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey34You know what I just realized?If you guys have kidsWe're having kids?I call godfather!You can't just call godfather.Shouldn't her brother be godfather?Sure. If you cared enough to call it first.-You're a few steps ahead of us. -Big zero gravity moon steps.I just thought of the greatest wedding gift.I'll go in on that with you. I couldn't decide.Hey,Katie.This is Katie.You ready to go?I'll run to the bathroom.Where's lunch?I was thinking Chinese food.I love Chinese!How did you know I love Chinese?She is so cute.You could fit her in your pocket.She could fit in that little pocket inside the pocket.I don't know. I like her a lot, and she's really nice,but....But what?She keeps punching me.In the cute,little sweet way she just did?It's a lot harder than it looks.She's hurting me.I know what you need. You need a bodyguard.What is Ben doing after preschool?Joey is having a problem. A little girl is beating him up. Joey,come here.Honey,I know. This must be really difficult for you,andI'm sorry,am I hurting you?I brought you some housewarming gifts.Salt, so your life always has flavor.Bread, so you never go hungry.And a scented candle for the bathroom.Because,well,you know.Thanks. Thanks. And thanks,I guess.Welcome. I'm Steve Cera, president of the tenants' committee. Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.Mr. President.I came to talk to you about Howard.He is the handyman who's retiring next week.Everyone who lives here is kicking in $100 as a kind of a thank you. That's nice.Yeah. So, do you want to give me a check?Not now. You can slip it under my door.No,it's not that.I just moved in.Well,the guy's worked here for 25 years.Yes,but I've lived here for 25 minutes.Okay,I get it.Wait! Look, I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard.I mean, I don't know Howard.Howard's the handyman.Yes,but to me,he's just "man."Okay. Fine. Whatever.Welcome to the building.Can you believe that guy?I really like his glasses.So then President Steve told everyone I was a cheapskate......and now the whole building hates me.A little kid spit on my knee.And told me to wipe it off with my $100 bill.You really should wipe it off with something.You know what?I'll throw a party. For everyone in the building.And I'll sit them all down and explain that I am not a bad guy.I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy......who stands up for what he believes in.A man with principles.Sounds like a fun party.If you want them to like you, why don't you just pay the $100?The party will cost you more.That doesn't matter!It's my principles! We're talking about my principles!I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.They'll like me once they come to my awesome party.I gotta get some nametags.And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law.Very funny. But don't say that to Monica.Don't put any ideas in her head.You do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head? Why?Well,because she loves you and because you love her.Yeah,so? What's that supposed to mean?Don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know.She left Richard because he didn't want to have babies.And she is a woman. And she's almost 30. And, you know, it's Monica.I don't see it that way. I see two Monicas.My friend who lives across the hall and wants a lot of babies.And the new Monica who I started to date.Now,who is to say what she wants?I'm right.Am I right?Oh,absolutely.I'm completely different from Richard.He's an eye doctor, and I don't wear glasses.You're right.You're absolutely right. That makes everything different.It's not different,is it?Not unless different means "the same."You were so funny with that waiter. You're such a nut!You know,bread-stick fangs are always funny.No,you make them funny. You're the funny one!Look,Katie. Listen, we need to talk, okay?Look,I like you. I really do. I like you a lot.But sometimes when you playfully punch me like that......it feels like I'm being hit with a very tiny but a very real bat! Like I could hurt you.Are you making fun of my size?Don't make fun of me because of my size!Isn't this great?Couldn't you just stay like this forever?Couldn't you just stay here forever?Yeah, here, somewhere else. You know,wherever.Are you okay?I'm cool.Casual.What are you doing?Just hanging out. Having fun with the girl that I'm seeing casually.Man,I knew it! I knew you'd do this.What?Get all freaked out because everybody was joking about marriage! Well,you do want all that stuff,right?You know what I want?Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever!I do not have baby fever!You're obsessed with babies and marriage......and everything that's related to babies and marriage.Why don't we turn the heat down on this pressure cooker!Have you lost your mind?This isn't about me. This is about you and your weird commitment crap!I know you. I know the thoughts that you have in your head.You don't know everything.Did you know I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you?And that the only baby here is you?Did you know I can't even look at you now?I did not know that.It'll be okay, right? She won't leave me. This is fixable.-Yeah,sure. -Absolutely.By me?Unless you make some big gesture.Big,though.The missus!Gunther, can I get a coffee?To go.I still don't want to talk to you.Tell me how to make things right.That's what we do.I mess up,you tell me how to fix it and I do.And then you think I'm cute again.I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor.Figure this out for yourself.If you're afraid of a real relationship......then don't be in one.（欢迎）（罗斯）（盖勒博士）Howard! Howard! Howard!菲比？菲比Hi,Ross!What are you doing here?I thought this was your party, and it's a party for Howard.He's the sweetest little man.See you,Phoebe. And thanks for chipping in.Oh,sure.You chipped in?Yeah,$100.I can't believe you gave him money.I thought you agreed it was unreasonable that they asked me for that money. But they didn't ask me.I'm just the exotic,generous stranger. That's always fun to be.But you're making me look bad.No,I'm not! If anything, I'm making you look better.They'll see you talking to me. I'm a hit.Hey,Phoebe!Hey,Ross.Maybe you two could switch apartments.Because Phoebe is more our kind of people.Think about it.Okay,my bad.You look big.Thanks,I've been working out.Listen,is it obvious I'm wearing six sweaters?Yeah. But it's not obvious why.I'm breaking up with Katie, so I put on some extra padding.If she hits me when she is happy, can you imagine how hard she'll hit... ...when I take away the Joey love?Oh,right. I forgot that you call it that.Hey,cute jacket.Thanks.-That's so sweet! -Ouch!Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys are too much!You know what? I gotta tell you......I think you're the one that is too much.Joey has the nicest friends.And the nicest girlfriend.You're so sweet!You're so sweet!She just kicked me.Aren't you going to do something?Do something or I'll walk out that door right now.Are you going to?不要Phoebe?That's what I'm saying.Phoebe? Phoebe?This is a disaster. Can't I please just go?I'm talking you up to people.Give it some time, relax. Get something to eat.What did you tell them about me?I told them about you and Emily. Trying to get some sympathy.But you came off as the bad guy.Yeah, I think I told it wrong.We should talk about that because I don't understand what happened there. This cake is really good!Things are looking up.Oh,my God! Someone cut Howard's cake!Who would do a thing like that?3B.You got your free food. You ruined everyone's fun.Isn't it time you went home?Yeah, get out! Now!Go back to 3B,3B.Everyone,calm down! I have something that I'd like to say.Who here likes Ross?Of course you don't like him.He didn't give you any money.He raised his own hand when I asked, "Who likes Ross?"And he's wearing two nametags.I'll be honest. When I first met Ross, I didn't like him at all.Once I got to know him, I saw that he is really sweet......and caring and very generous.All I'm saying is,don't judge Ross before you get to know him.You know,I like all of you guys now. But when I first met you, you know? Kurt? I thought, abrasive drunk.Lola?Mind-numbingly stupid.You guys. Gold digger, cradle-robbing perv.So I think you all know what I mean.Obviously, I didn't think they would throw things.I thought if I kept insulting them you'd defend them.Then you'd look like the hero.See,I did not get that.Where's Monica? I need to talk to her, it's urgent.I'm Monica.I need to talk to you. It's urgent.I've been thinking......about us. A lot of "us" thinking.I guess there's only one way to do this.What are you doing?Don't do it.Will you marry me?What a bad idea.I can't not look at it.Why are you doing this?I don't know.But I know I'm not afraid to do this.I'm doing this because I'm sorry?Do you think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry? The best reason is pregnancy.Sorry is fourth,behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. Will you be my wife?I want you to take a minute and think about how ridiculous this sounds. I'm kind of wishing everyone wasn't here now.None of that came from me.I never said I wanted to have babies and get married!I was really confused. Then I talked to these guys.Who? Two divorces and Joey?She's right,you know?Yeah,but still, cheap shot!You know when I said that I want you......to deal with relationship stuff all on your own?You're not ready.I didn't think I was!Oh,my God.What would you have done if I had said yes?I would've been happy because......I would spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.Or you would have seen a Chandler-shaped hole in that door.Will you pass that knife?No,I will not.You don't have to be mean about it.You're right. I'm sorry. Will you marry me?I was going to ask you to marry me because I didn't say hello to you. Or ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure. Chandler?How long is this going to go on?I think the length of teasing......is directly related to how insane you were. So a long time.This is fun!Remember that "we were on a break" thing?I'm sorry. Will you marry me?That's not funny.。
