英语阅读 趣味幽默篇

Section II 趣味幽默篇Passage 13Henry was an office worker in a big city. He worked very hard and enjoyed traveling in his holidays.He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an advertisement in a newspaper. “Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at West Hill Farm. Good food. Fresh air. Horse riding. Walking. Fishing. Cheap and interesting.”“This sounds a good idea,” he thought. “I’ll spend a month at West Hill Farm. I think I can enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. They’ll make a change from sitting by the seaside and swimming.”He wrote to the farmer. In the letter he said that he would like to spend all of July there. Then on the first of July, he left for West Hill Farm.But four days later, he returned home.“What was wrong with West Hill Farm?” his best friend, Ed, asked him. “Didn’t you enjoy country life?”“Country life was very good,” Henry said. “But there was another problem.”“Oh. What?”“Well,” he said, “the first day I was there a sheep died, and we had roast mutton for dinner.”“What's wrong with that?” Ed asked. “Fresh meat is the best.”“I know, but on the second day a cow died, and we had roast beef for dinner.”“Lucky you!”“You don't understand,” Henry said. “On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner.”“A different meat every day,” Ed said loudly, “ and you are complaining!”“Let me finish,” Henry said. “On the fourth day the farmer died, and I didn't dare (敢)stay for dinner!”1.How did Henry find out about the farm?A. He saw it in a newspaper advertisement.B. His best friend told him.C. He wrote to the farmer.D. Maybe he learned it from the radio.2. Henry came back home several days later because ______________.A. he didn't like the country life at allB. the farmer wasn’t friendly to himC. his holiday was overD. he thought he might have to eat the farmer3. “…and you are complaining!”, the word “complain” means __________.A.夸奖B.说三道四C.抱怨D.故弄玄虚4.Which of the following sentences is true?A. Ed could eat a different kind of meat every day.B. Henry thought he could enjoy a change.C. Henry couldn't think of anything else to do, so he went to the farm.D. The farmer died because of the bad meat he ate.5.Which is the best title for the passage?A. What a beautiful farm!B. Have a good time.C.A short holidayD. Henry and the farmer.Passage 14After returning from her round trip, the angry woman stood outside the ticket office of the station. “The railway owes me 12 pounds,” she said to Harry Jenks, the young man working at the office.” You sold me a ticket for May 22nd, but there was no ship from Jersey that night. So my daughter and I had to stay in a hotel. It cost me 12 pounds.”Harry was worried. He remembered selling the woman a return ticket. “Come into the office, Madam,” he said politely. “I’ll just check the Jersey timetable for May 22nd.”The woman and her little girl followed him inside. She was quite right, as Harry soon discovered. There was no sailing on May 22nd. How could h e have made such a careless mistake? He shouldn’t have sold her a ticket for that day. Wondering what to do, he smiled at the child. “You look sun burnt,” he said to her. “Did you have a nice holiday in Jersey?”“Yes,” she answered, shyly. “The beach was lovely. And I can swim too!”“That’s fine,” said Harry. “My little girl can’t swim a bit yet. Of course, she’s only three…”“I’m four,” the child said proudly. “I’ll be four and a half.”Harry turned to the mother. “I remember your ticket, Madam,” he said. “But you didn’t get one for your daughter, did you?”“Er, well…” the woman looked at the child. “I mean…she hasn’t started school yet, she’s only four.”“A four-year-old child must have a ticket, Madam. A child’s return ticket to Jersey costs …let me see… 13.50 pounds. The law is the law, but since the mistake is mine….”The woman stood up, took the child’s hand and left the office.1. The woman was angry because __________.A. she couldn’t use the ticket for her round tripB. she had to return home a day earlier than she had plannedC. she spent more money than she had expectedD. Harry had sold her a ticket to Jersey where there was no sailing2. Harry was worried __________.A.the woman was angry with himB.he had not done his work carefullyC.the Jersey timetable was wrongD.the little girl didn’t have a return ticket3. Harry started talking to the little girl ___________.A.because he was in trouble and did not know what to doB.because he had a little girl about the same age as this girlC.because he wanted to be friendly to the little girl who looked so niceD.when he suddenly realized that he could find a way out from the little girl4. When Harry said, “The law is the law, but since the mistake was mine…” he meant that ____.A.they must follow it without other choice, even though the mistake was hisB.he had to be strict with the woman because of the law, although he didn’t want toC.the woman had to pay him 1.50 pounds and the railway would pay her for the hotelD.she should pay 1.50 pounds, but he had made a mistake, she could go without paying5. The woman left the office without saying anything because _______________.A.she wanted to go home and get money for the child’s ticketB.she was so angry that she didn’t want to have anything more to do with the young manC.she was moved (感动) by Harry’s kindnessD.she knew she would have to pay the railway if she insisted (坚持)Passage 15Three travelers, Allan, Carl and Paul were sitting on the chairs in a train station. They were waiting for a train that was very late.To pass the time, they began talking to each other.At first, they talked about the weather and their work. Then Paul said, "Tell me—what would you most like to do if your doctor tell you that you have only three months to live?"The other two men thought about this for a while, then Carl spoke.“Well,” he said, “if I have only three months to live, I’ll take all my money out of the bank and go to foreign countries for holidays with my best friend, Erik. I'd like to travel to the places in the world as many as possible. And I'll stay at the best hotels and then eat the best food. I think I'll have a wonderful time.”“That's very interesting.” Paul said.With these w ords, he turned to the other man, saying, “And what about you?”“I'll tell you a secret,” Allan said. “I always want to be a racing driver. So if I have only three months to live, the first thing I'd like to do is to sell my house. With the money I’ll bu y the fastest car in the world. Maybe I can enter all the big motor races.”Then he laughed, "I might even end up (以……而告终) world champion.”“Now it's your turn,” Allan went on, “If your doctor tell you the bad news, what would you most like to do?”“Oh,” said Paul with a smile. “I’ll go and see another doctor.”1.The three men were talking _____________.A. in the post officeB. in the waiting roomC. on the trainD. on the chairs2.The man called ________ answered the question first.A. CarlB. AllanC. ErikD. Paul3.The men began to talk about the weather and the work because they __________.A. didn't know anything newB. wanted to pass the time quicklyC. had nothing to doD. were very interested in each other's work4."I might even end up world champion." Here the word "champion" means ________in Chinese.A.名人B.赛车手C.大款D.冠军5.Which sentence is right according to the passage?A. The train didn't arrive on time.B. Paul wanted to buy a racing car very much.C. Allan was the second man to answer the question.D. Carl didn't like traveling at all.Passage 16An English traveler found himself in Norway with only enough money to buy the ticket for his journey back home. As he knew that it would take him only two days to get to England, he decided that he could easily spend the time without food. So he bought a ticket and got on the ship. The man closed his ears to the sound of the lunch bell. When dinnertime came, he didn’t go to dinning room, saying that he was not feeling very well.The next morning he still didn’t have breakfast and at lunchtime he again stayed in his room. But at dinnertime he was so hungry that he went to the dinning room and ate everything the waiter put in front of him. He got ready for the quarrel.“Bring me the bill,” he said. “The bill, sir?” said the waiter in surprise. “There isn’t any bill. On our ship meals are included (包括) in the money for the ticket,” said the waiter.1.The story happened _______.A. in EnglandB. on a ship from Norway to EnglandC. in NorwayD. on a ship from England to Norway2.Why didn’t the traveler go to the dinning room first?A.Because he had no moneyB.Because he didn’t feel very wellC.Because he didn’t want to eat anythingD.Because he d idn’t hear the sound of the bell3.The traveler went to the dinning room to eat something because _______.A.his friend had given him some moneyB.the waiter had asked him to change his mindC.he learned that there was no bill on the shipD.he was too hungry4.How many meals did the traveler have on the ship?A. Only oneB. TwoC. ThreeD. None5.After the traveler finished eating, ________.A.he had a quarrel with waiter over the billB.he drank a lotC.he asked the waiter to bring him the change(零钱)D.he came to know that travelers on the ship had free mealsPassage 17 A farmer had a cow. He took very good care of this cow and one day when it was ill, he wasvery worried. He telephoned the vet.“What’s the problem?” The vet asked him when he arrived.“My cow's ill,” the farmer said. “I don’t know what's the matter with her. She’s lying down and won’t eat. She's making a strange noise.”The vet looked over the cow. "She's certainly ill," he said, "and she needs to take some very strong medicine."He took a bottle out of his box, put two pills into his hand and said, "Give her these. The pills should make her better."“How should I give them to her?” the farmer asked.The vet gave him a tube (管子)and said, "Put this tube in her mouth, then put the pills in the tube and blow. That'll make it."The next day the vet came to the farm again. The farmer was sitting outside his house and looked more worried.“How's your cow?” the vet asked.“No change,” the farmer said, “and I’m feeling very strange myself.”“Oh?” the vet said, "Why?"“I did what you said,” the farmer answered. “I put the tube in the cow's mouth and then put two pills down it.”“And?” the vet asked.“The cow blew first,” the farmer said.1.In the story, the vet must be _________.A. the farmer's friendB. a milk factoryC. a hospital for cowsD. a doctor for animals2.The farmer asked the vet for help when his cow _______A. couldn't lie downB. didn't eat the pillsC. couldn't make any noiseD. was ill3.What medicine did the vet give the farmer?A. Bottle of pills.B. A long tube.C. Two pills.D. A small box.4.The vet taught the farmer how _________.A. to blow the tubeB. to make the cow take the pillsC. to take the medicineD. to put the tube in his mouth5.Which of the following is true?A. The farmer ate the pills himself.B. The cow got better after taking the medicine.C. The vet came to help farmer change the cow the next day.D. The farmer waited for the vet outside his house the next day.Passage 18Several years ago, a television reporter was talking to three of the most important people in America. One was a very rich banker, another owned one of the largest companies in the world, and the third owned many buildings in the center of New York.The reporter was talking to them about being important.“How do we know if someone is really important?” the reporter asked the banker.The banker thought for a few moments and then said, “I think anybo dy who is invited to the Whiter House to meet the President of the United States is really important.”The reporter then turned to the owner of the very large company. “Do you agree with that?” she asked.The man shook his head, “No. I think the President invites a lot of people to the White House. You’d only be important if while you were visiting the President, there was a telephone call from the president of another country, and the President of the US said he was too busy to answer it.”The report er turned to the third man. “Do you think so?”“No, I don’t.” he said. “I don’t think that makes the visitor important. That makes the President important.”“Then what would make the visitor important?” the reporter and the other two men asked.“Oh, I think if the visitor to the White House was talking to the President and the phone rang, and the President picked up the receiver, listened and then said, ‘it’s for you.’”1.This story happened in _______.A. EnglandB. AmericaC. JapanD. Australia2.There are _______ in this passage.A. two men and two womenB. three men and one womanC. three women and one manD. four women3.The banker thought _______.A.he was really important because he was a rich bankerB.the visitor to the White House was really importantC.the visitor who met the President of the United StatesD. the reporter was really important4.The owner of the very large company thought _______.A.she was really important because she owned one of the largest companiesB.the banker was really importantC.the owner of many buildings in the center of New York was really importantD. the visitor would be really important if while he was visiting the President, the President would not answer any telephone call5.The owner of many buildings thought _______.A.he was really important because he owned many buildings in the center of New YorkB.the owner of the very large company was really importantC.the visitor was really important if he talking to the President and the President received a telephone call for the visitorD.the person who worked in the White House was really importantPassage 19Three men traveling on a train began a conversation about the world's greatest wonders.“In my opinion,” the first man said, “the Egyptian pyramids are the world's greatest wonder. Although they were built thousands of years ago, they are still standing. And remember: the people who built them had only simple tools. They did not have the kind of machinery that buil ders and engineers have today.”“I agree that the pyramids in Egypt are wonderful,” the second man said, “but I do not think they are the greatest wonder. I believe computers are more wonderful than the pyramids. They have taken people to the moon and brought them back safely. In seconds，they carry out mathematical calculations that would take a person a hundred years to do.”He turned to the third man and asked, “What do you think is the greatest wonder in the world？”The third man thought for a long time，and then he said, “Well，I agree that the pyramids are wonderful, and I agree that computers are wonderful, too. However，in my opinion, the most wonderful thing in the world is this thermos.”And he took a thermos out of his bag and held it up.Th e other two men were very surprised. “A thermos？”they exclaimed. “But that's a simple thing.”“Oh, no，it's not, ”the third man said. “In the winter you put in a hot drink and it stays hot. In the summer you put in a cold drink and it stays cold. How does the thermos know whether it's winter or summer？”1.The underlined word “thermos” means in Chinese “ _____ ”.A.电冰箱B.洗衣机C.电风扇D.保温瓶2.The three men could not agree on what the world's greatest wonder was because _____.A. they could not think of anything very wonderfulB. they all had different ideasC. they could not prove that their opinions were rightD. the journey ended too soon3.The first man thought the pyramids were the most wonderful things in the world because _____.A. they were very beautifulB. they were EgyptianC. they had been built with very simple toolsD. they could do mathematical calculations4.The third man thought a thermos was the most wonderful thing in the world because _____.A. it lasted longer than the pyramidsB. it cost less than a computerC. he thought it knew whether it was winter or summerD. the other two men were surprised when he told them about it5.The third man was not very clever because _____.A. he could not think of anything to sayB. he did not understand how a thermos worksC. he did not think the pyramids were wonderfulD. he did not know anything about computersPassage 20An old man was going home late one night with his horse and cart after a day's hard work. When he was not far from his house, the light on the cart went out. He tried but could not mend it.He was near his home, and so he went along the road without a light. When a policeman saw this, he stopped the old carter."Where's your light?" asked the policeman. "No one may take a cart along a road at night without a light. You know that. You've broken the law."I had a light," said the old man, "but it has just gone out.""I don't believe that story," said the policeman. He took out a book and got ready to write. "What's your name and where do you live?" he asked."Please don't take my name," said the old man. "My house is just there. You can see it from here. I had a light nearly the whole way. I haven't come far without a light.""You came all the way without a light. What's your name?"The carter quickly took the policeman's hand and put it down on the top of the light. The light was still hot, and burnt the policeman's hand. He jumped and he was very angry."Now, what do you think?" said the carter. "Did I come all the way without a light?"1.In the passage "Cart" is ___________.A. something like a carB. something like a lightC. something pulled by a horseD. something with a light2.The old man drove home ___________.A. on the back of his horseB. late one nightC. very late every nightD. with a policeman3.Where did the policeman stop the old man?A. Near his home.B. At the traffic lights.C. Under a road light.D. Far from his house.4.The cart was stopped by the policeman because ________.A. the old man didn't have a lightB. the policeman didn't believe the old man's wordsC. the old man did not want to tell his nameD. the old man's light wasn't on5..How did the old man make the policeman believe (相信) his words?A. He made the policeman touch the light.B. He jumped and shouted angrily.C. He made the policeman angry.D. He burnt the policeman's hands.Passage 21Ellen Parker was worried about her health. She could not walk very quickly and it was difficult for her to climb stars. She was soon out of breath (气喘吁吁).“I suppose I had better go to the doctor,” she thought.She went to the doctor and told him her problem.“I’m not surprised at all,” he said. “It’s obvious what your problem is.”He looked her over then gave her some advice.“If you don’t do what I say, Mrs. Parker,” he said, “you will have a heart attack. It could kill you.”Ellen Parker was very worried as she left the doctor’s. She knew that she had to take his advice but that it would not be easy and it would take time.The next day she went shopping. The first shop she went into was a butcher’s shop (肉铺).“I’d like ten pounds of steak (牛排), please,” she said.“Certainly, madam,” the butche r replied and went into the cold room and found a large piece of steak. He brought the huge piece of meat back into the shop and put it on the scale (天平).“That’s just under ten pounds,” he said.“That big enough,” Mrs. Parker said.The butcher worked out the price.“At $4.99 a pound that will be $49.50, please. Would you like me to cut it up into smaller pieces for you?”“Oh, I don’t want to buy the meat,” Mrs. Parker said.“If you don’t want to buy it,” the butcher replied angrily, “why did you ask me to get it for you?”“My doctor told me that I am over-weight and I have to lose ten pounds. I wanted to see what ten pounds of meat looked like.”1. Why did Ellen Parker visit the doctor?A. She had had a heart attack.B. She had a problem with her health.C. She was unhappy about her weight.D. She could not sleep well.2. What did the doctor advise her to do?A. To lose weight.B. To eat more meat.C. To come and see him again.D. To look after her heart.3. Why did Ellen Parker ask for ten pounds of steak?A. She wanted to buy some for dinner.B. She wanted to lose weight.C. Her doctor had told her to eat steak.D. She wanted to see what ten pounds of meat looked like.4. What was Ellen Parker's real problem?A. She ate too much steak.B. She weighed too much.C. The doctor did not know.D. She could not walk very quickly.5. What did the doctor think might happen to Ellen?A. She might put on more weight.B. She might stop eating too much.C. She might have a heart attack.D. She might go to another doctor.Passage 22(In court (法庭), the judge asks the boy named Henry some questions.) Judge: Can you tell us how the accident happened?Henry: Yes, sir. The farmer drove very fast when I met with him. His car knocked me down and hurt my arm.Judge: (To the farmer) Was that right?Farmer: No, sir. But it rained heavily and I couldn’t drive fast.Judge: So you don’t think you knocked him down?Farmer: Yes, I did. But I didn’t see him mending his b ike in the middle of the road.Judge: Well. Did you send him to a hospital?Farmer: Yes. But the doctor said there was nothing serious to him.Judge: (To Henry) Do you agree with him?Henry: Yes, sir. But my left arm often hurts and I can't lift it at all.Judge: Could you show us how you can lift it now?Henry: Sure. (Slowly the boy lifts his arm below his nose.)Judge: Poor boy! And how high could you lift it before the accident?Henry: Oh, I could lift it very high like this. (Holding his left arm up over his head)Judge: But I don't think there's something wrong with your arm.Henry: I...I...So it is. But my lawyer (律师) tells me to do so.根据上面的对话，在短文的空白处填写一个适当的词，使短文内容与对话意思相符。