【最新2018】TED英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴-精选word文档 (10页)

ted英语演讲稿ted英语演讲稿范文4篇本文目录ted英语演讲稿范文ted英语演讲稿：二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴（附翻译）ted英语演讲稿：坠机让我学到的三件事ted英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴【简介：受教育的机会并非人人都有，而在学校的孩子们是否都能学有所成?英国学校教育咨询师sir ken robinson 幽默演讲，如何逃出教育的死亡谷? 告诉我们如何以开放的文化氛围培育年轻的一代。

】thank you very much.i moved to america 12 years ago with my wife terry and our two kids. actually, truthfully, we moved to los angeles -- (laughter) -- thinking we were moving to america, but anyway, its a short plane ride from los angeles to america.i got here 12 years ago, and when i got here, i was told various things, like, americans dont get irony. have you come across this idea? its not true. ive traveled the whole length and breadth of this country. i have found no evidence that americans dont get irony. its one of those cultural myths, like, the british are reserved. i dont know why people think this. weve invaded every country weve encountered. (laughter) but its not true americans dont get irony, but i just want you to know that thats what people are saying about you behind your back. you know, so when you leave living rooms in europe, people say, thankfully, nobody was ironic in your presence.but i knew that americans get irony when i came across that legislation no child left behind. because whoever thought of that title gets irony, dont they, because -- (laughter) (applause) because its leaving millions of children behind. now i can see thats not a very attractive name for legislation: millions of children left behind. i can see that. whats the plan? well, we propose to leave millions of children behind, and heres how its going to work.and its working beautifully. in some parts of the country, 60 percent of kids drop out of high school. in the native american communities, its 80 percent of kids. if we halved that number, one estimate is it would create a net gain to the u.s.economy over 10 years of nearly a trillion dollars. from an economic point of view, this is good math, isnt it, that we should do this? it actually costs an enormous amount to mop up the damage from the dropout crisis.but the dropout crisis is just the tip of an iceberg. what it doesnt count are all the kids who are in school but being disengaged from it, who dont enjoy it, who dont get any real benefit from it.and the reason is not that were not spending enough money. america spends more money on education than most other countries. class sizes are smaller than in many countries. and there are hundreds of initiatives every year to try and improve education. the trouble is, its all going in the wrong direction. there are three principles on which human life flourishes, and they are contradicted by the culture of education under which most teachers have to labor and most students have to endure.the first is this, that human beings are naturally different and diverse.can i ask you, how many of you have got children of your own? okay. or grandchildren. how about two children or more? right. and the rest of you have seen such children. (laughter) small people wandering about. i will make you a bet, and i am confident that i will win the bet. if youve got two children or more, i bet you they are completely different from each other. arent they? arent they? (applause) you would never confuse them, would you? like, which one are you? remind me. your mother and i are going to introduce some color-coding system, so we dont get confused.education under no child left behind is based on not diversity but conformity. what schools are encouraged to do is to find out what kids can do across a very narrow spectrum of achievement. one of the effects of no child left behind hasbeen to narrow the focus onto the so-called stem disciplines. theyre very important. im not here to argue against scienceand math. on the contrary, theyre necessary but theyre not sufficient. a real education has to give equal weight to the arts, the humanities, to physical education. an awful lot of kids, sorry, thank you (applause) one estimate in america currently is that something like 10 percent of kids, getting on that way,are being diagnosed with various conditions under the broad title of attention deficit disorder. adhd. im not saying theres no such thing. i just dont believe its an epidemic like this. if yousit kids down, hour after hour, doing low-grade clerical work, dont be surprised if they start to fidget, you know? (laughter) (applause) children are not, for the most part, suffering from a psychological condition. theyre suffering from childhood. (laughter) and i know this because i spent my early life as a child. i went through the whole thing. kids prosper best with a broad curriculum that celebrates their various talents, not just a small range of them. and by the way, the arts arent just important because they improve math scores. theyre important because they speak to parts of childrens being which are otherwise untouched.the second, thank you (applause)the second principle that drives human life flourishing is curiosity. if you can light the spark of curiosity in a child, they will learn without any further assistance, very often. children are natural learners. its a real achievement to put thatparticular ability out, or to stifle it. curiosity is the engine of achievement. now the reason i say this is because one of the effects of the current culture here, if i can say so, has been to de-professionalize teachers. there is no system in the world or any school in the country that is better than its teachers. teachers are the lifeblood of the success of schools. but teaching is a creative profession. teaching, properly conceived, is not a delivery system. you know, youre not there just topass on received information. great teachers do that, but what great teachers also do is mentor, stimulate, provoke, engage. you see, in the end, education is about learning. if theres no learning going on, theres no education going on. and people can spend an awful lot of time discussing education without ever discussing learning. the whole point of education is to get people to learn.a friend of mine, an old friend -- actually very old, hes dead. (laughter) thats as old as it gets, im afraid. but a wonderful guy he was, wonderful philosopher. he used to talk about the difference between the task and achievement senses of verbs. you know, you can be engaged in the activity of something,but not really be achieving it, like dieting. its a very goodexample, you know. there he is. hes dieting. is he losing any weight? not really. teaching is a word like that. you can say, theres deborah, shes in room 34, shes teaching. but if nobodys learning anything, she may be engaged in the task of teaching but not actually fulfilling it.the role of a teacher is to facilitate learning. thats it. andpart of the problem is, i think, that the dominant culture of education has come to focus on not teaching and learning, but testing. now, testing is important. standardized tests have a place. but they should not be the dominant culture of education. they should be diagnostic. they should help. (applause) if i go for a medical examination, i want some standardized tests. i do. you know, i want to know what my cholesterol level is compared to everybody elses on astandard scale. i dont want to be told on some scale my doctor invented in the car.your cholesterol is what i call level orange.really? is that good?we dont know.but all that should support learning. it shouldnt obstruct it, which of course it often does. so in place of curiosity, what we have is a culture of compliance. our children and teachers are encouraged to follow routine algorithms rather than to excite that power of imagination and curiosity. and the third principle is this: that human life is inherently creative. its why we allhave different rsums. we create our lives, and we can recreate them as we go through them. its the common currency ofbeing a human being. its why human culture is so interesting and diverse and dynamic. i mean, other animals may well have imaginations and creativity, but its not so much in evidence, is it, as ours? i mean, you may have a dog. and your dog may get depressed. you know, but it doesnt listen to radiohead, does it? (laughter) and sit staring out the window with a bottle of jack daniels. (laughter)and you say, would you like to come for a walk?he says, no, im fine. you go. ill wait. but take pictures.we all create our own lives through this restless processof imagining alternatives and possibilities, and what one of the roles of education is to awaken and develop these powers of creativity. instead, what we have is a culture of standardization.now, it doesnt have to be that way. it really doesnt. finland regularly comes out on top in math, science and reading. now, we only know thats what they do well at because thats all thats being tested currently. thats one of the problems of the test. they dont look for other things that matter just as much. the thing about work in finland is this: they dont obsess about those disciplines. they have a very broad approach to education which includes humanities, physical education, the arts.second, there is no standardized testing in finland. i mean, theres a bit, but its not what gets people up in the morning. its not what keeps them at their desks.and the third thing, and i was at a meeting recently with some people from finland, actual finnish people, and somebody from the american system was saying to the people in finland, what do you do about the dropout rate in finland?and they all looked a bit bemused, and said, well, we dont have one. why would you drop out? if people are in trouble, we get to them quite quickly and help them and we support them.now people always say, well, you know, you cant compare finland to america.no. i think theres a population of around five million in finland. but you can compare it to a state in america. many states in america have fewer people in them than that. i mean, ive been to some states in america and i was the only person there. (laughter) really. really. i was asked to lock up when i left. (laughter)but what all the high-performing systems in the world do is currently what is not evident, sadly, across the systems in america -- i mean, as a whole. one is this: they individualize teaching and learning. they recognize that its students who are learning and the system has to engage them, their curiosity, their individuality, and their creativity. thats how you get them to learn.the second is that they attribute a very high status to the teaching profession. they recognize that you cant improve education if you dont pick great people to teach and if youdont keep giving them constant support and professional development. investing in professional development is not a cost. its an investment, and every other country thatssucceeding well knows that, whether its australia, canada, south korea, singapore, hong kong or shanghai. they know that to be the case.and the third is, they devolve responsibility to the school level for getting the job done. you see, theres a big difference here between going into a mode of command and control in education -- thats what happens in some systems. you know, central governments decide or state governments decide they know best and theyre going to tell you what to do. the trouble is that education doesnt go on in the committee rooms of our legislative buildings. it happens in classrooms and schools, and the people who do it are the teachers and the students, and if you remove their discretion, it stops working. you have to put it back to the people. (applause)there is wonderful work happening in this country. but i have to say its happening in spite of the dominant culture of education, not because of it. its like people are sailing into a headwind all the time. and the reason i think is this: that many of the current policies are based on mechanistic conceptions of education. its like education is an industrial process that can be improved just by having better data, and somewhere in, i think, the back of the mind of some policy makers is this idea that if we fine-tune it well enough, if we just get it right, it will all hum along perfectly into the future. it wont, and it never did.the point is that education is not a mechanical system. its a human system. its about people, people who either do want to learn or dont want to learn. every student who drops out of school has a reason for it which is rooted in their own biography. they may find it boring. they may find it irrelevant. they may find that its at odds with the life theyre living outside of school. there are trends, but the stories are always unique. i was at a meeting recently in los angeles of -- theyre called alternative education programs. these are programs designed to get kids back into education. they have certain common features. theyre very personalized. they have strong support for the teachers, close links with the community and a broad and diverse curriculum, and often programs which involve students outside school as well as inside school. and they work. whats interesting to me is, these are called alternative education. you know? and all the evidence from around theworld is, if we all did that, thered be no need for the alternative. (applause)so i think we have to embrace a different metaphor. we have to recognize that its a human system, and there are conditions under which people thrive, and conditions under which they dont. we are after all organic creatures, and the culture of the school is absolutely essential. culture is an organic term, isnt it?not far from where i live is a place called death valley. death valley is the hottest, driest place in america, and nothing grows there. nothing grows there because it doesnt rain. hence, death valley. in the winter of xx, it rained in death valley. seven inches of rain fell over a very short period. and in the spring of xx, there was a phenomenon. the whole floor of death valley was carpeted in flowers for a while. what it proved is this: that death valley isnt dead. its dormant. right beneath the surface are these seeds of possibility waiting for the right conditions to come about, and with organic systems, if the conditions are right, life is inevitable. it happens all the time. you take an area, a school, a district, you change the conditions, give people a different sense of possibility, a different set of expectations, a broader range of opportunities, you cherish and value the relationships between teachers and learners, you offer people the discretion to be creative and to innovate in what they do, and schools that were once bereft spring to life.great leaders know that. the real role of leadership in education -- and i think its true at the national level, the state level, at the school level -- is not and should not be command and control. the real role of leadership is climate control, creating a climate of possibility. and if you do that, people will rise to it and achieve things that you completely did not anticipate and couldnt have expected.theres a wonderful quote from benjamin franklin. there are three sorts of people in the world: those who are immovable, people who dont get, they dont want to get it, theyre going to do anything about it. there are people who are movable, people who see the need for change and are prepared to listen to it. and there are people who move, people who make things happen. and if we can encourage more people, that will be amovement. and if the movement is strong enough, thats, in the best sense of the word, a revolution. and thats what we need.thank you very much. (applause) thank you very much. (applause)【ted英语演讲稿：二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴（附翻译）】ted英语演讲稿范文（2） | 返回目录when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client.i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old woman named alex. now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this ithought i could handle.but i didnt handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. thirtys the new 20, alexwould say, and as far as i could tell, she was right. work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back.i said, sure, shes dating down, shes sleeping with a knucklehead, but its not like shes going to marry the guy.and then my supervisor said, not yet, but she might marry the next one. besides, the best time to work on alexs marriage is before she has one.thats what psychologists call an aha! moment. that wasthe moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20. yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didnt make alexs 20s a developmental downtime. that made alexs 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was wheni realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now. were talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no ones getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.raise your hand if youre in your 20s. i really want to see some twentysomethings here. oh, yay! yalls awesome. if you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, youre losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see okay. awesome, twentysomethings really matter.so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.this is not my opinion. these are the facts. we know that 80 percent of lifes most defining moments take place by age 35. that means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and aha! moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, dont panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money youre going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. its a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. but what we hear less about is that theres such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.but this isnt what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like twixters and kidults. its true. as a culture, we have trivialized what isactually the defining decade of adulthood.leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. isnt that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, you have 10 extra years to start your life? nothing happens. you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.and then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: i know my boyfriends no good for me, but this relationship doesnt count. im just killing time. or they say, everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time im 30, ill be fine.but then it starts to sound like this: my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better rsum the day after i graduated from college.and then it starts to sound like this: dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. i didnt want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake,the stakes are very high. when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.the post-millennial midlife crisis isnt buying a red sports car. its realizing you cant have that career you now want. its realizing you cant have that child you now want, or you cant give your child a sibling. too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, what was i doing? what was i thinking?i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.heres a story about how that can go. its a story about a woman named emma. at 25, emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. she said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadnt decided yet, so shed spent the last few years waiting tables instead. because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, you cant pick your family, but you can pick your friends.well one day, emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. shed just bought a new address book, and shed spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then shed been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words in case of emergency, please call ... . she was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, whos going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? whos going to take care of me if i have cancer?now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, i will. but what emma needed wasnt some therapist who really, really cared. emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance. i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emmas defining decade went parading by.so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something thatsan investment in who you might want to be next. i didnt know the future of emmas career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. im not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration thats not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. thats procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. new things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. but half arent, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbors boss is how you get that un-posted job. its not cheating. its the science of how information spreads.last but not least, emma believed that you cant pick your family, but you can pick your friends. now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. i told emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoever youre living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommates cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. that weak tie helped her get a job there. that job offer gave her the reason to leavethat live-in boyfriend. now, five years later, shes a special events planner for museums. shes married to a man she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, now the emergency contact blanks dont seem big enough.now emmas story made that sound easy, but thats what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight changein course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.so heres an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. its as simple as what i learned to say to alex. its what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. dont be defined by what you didnt know or didnt do. youre deciding your life right now.thank you. (applause)【译文：】记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

TED英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴5天内超过60万次浏览量的最新TED演讲“二十岁一去不再来”激起了世界各地的热烈讨论，资深心理治疗师 Meg Jay 分享给20多岁青年人的人生建议：(1)不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

(2)不要把自己封锁在小圈子里。

(3)记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

Meg说：“第一，我常告诉二十多岁的男孩女孩，不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，开始思考你可以是谁，并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

现在就是最好的尝试时机，不管是海外实习，还是创业，或者做公益。

第二，年轻人经常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一条裤子。

可是社会中许多机会是从远关系开始的，不要把自己封锁在小圈子里，走出去你才会对自己的经历有更多的认识。

第三，记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

你的婚姻就是未来几十年的家庭，就算你要到三十岁结婚，现在选择和什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。

简而言之，二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美好时光。

”这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了许多TED粉丝的讨论，来自TEDx组织团队的David Webber就说：Meg指出最重要的一点便是青年人需要及早意识到积累经验和眼界，无论是20岁还是30岁，都是有利自己发展的重要事。

”When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapyclient. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性，26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

TED英语演讲稿二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴(4)TED英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.所以接下去的几个星期几个月，我告诉Emma三件事，所有20多岁的男生女生都值得听一听。

First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next.首先，我告诉Emma忘掉她的自我认识危机，去获得一些身份认定的资本。

身份资本是指做增加自我价值的事。

为自己下一步想成为的样子做一些事一些投资。

I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time forthat cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try.我不知道Emma的工作将来是什么样的，也没人知道将来的工作是什么样的，但是我知道：身份资本会创造出更多身份资本。

TED英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴5天内超过60万次浏览量的最新演讲二十岁一去不再来激起了世界各地的热烈讨论，资深心理治疗师分享给20多岁青年人的人生建议1不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

2不要把自己封锁在小圈子里。

3记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

说第一，我常告诉二十多岁的男孩女孩，不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，开始思考你可以是谁，并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

现在就是最好的尝试时机，不管是海外实习，还是创业，或者做公益。

第二，年轻人经常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一条裤子。

可是社会中许多机会是从远关系开始的，不要把自己封锁在小圈子里，走出去你才会对自己的经历有更多的认识。

第三，记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

你的婚姻就是未来几十年的家庭，就算你要到三十岁结婚，现在选择和什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。

简而言之，二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美好时光。

这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了许多粉丝的讨论，来自组织团队的就说指出最重要的一点便是青年人需要及早意识到积累经验和眼界，无论是20岁还是30岁，都是有利自己发展的重要事。

20,26--记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

当时我是临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫的女性，26岁。

,,第一次见面穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯，而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

,但是我没有搞定。

不断地讲有趣的事情，而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的，很自然地就陷入了附和的状态。

"20,",,,,,说30岁是一个新的20岁。

没错，我告诉她你是对的。

工作还早，结婚还早，生孩子还早，甚至死亡也早着呢。

像和我这样20多岁的人，什么都没有但时间多的是。

,,",,,",",,"但不久之后，我的导师就要我向的感情生活施压。

不容错过的TED英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, and all the TED enthusiasts around the world, it is my pleasure to share with you today a topic that concerns every single one of us– the precious time of our twenties.As the saying goes, “A penny saved is a penny earned.” Similarly, the time we waste is the time we lose, and thetime we save is the time we gain. In our twenties, we are ata critical stage of life where we are full of energy and enthusiasm, and most importantly, we have time on our side. However, if we don’t use this invaluable resource wisely, we will likely regret it for the rest of our lives.So, what exactly do I mean by not wasting our twenties?Let me share with you three fundamental aspects that we needto pay attention to in order to make the most of our twenties.The first aspect is education. Our twenties are the time when we lay the foundation for the rest of our lives. This is the perfect opportunity for us to gain knowledge, skills, and expertise in fields that we are passionate about. We canenroll in courses and programs that will help us advance inour careers or pursue further studies in areas that we are interested in. We can also learn from mentors and experts in our industries, attend workshops and conferences, and read extensively on subjects that we are curious about.The second aspect is personal development. Our twenties are also the time when we begin to establish our identity, values, and purpose in life. This is the time when we can explore our interests, passions, and talents, and develop our strengths and weaknesses. We can travel to new places, meet new people, and experience different cultures. We can volunteer for causes that we care about, engage in sports and hobbies that we enjoy, and challenge ourselves to try new things.The third aspect is relationships. Our twenties are the time when we form lasting connections with the people whowill share our lives. This is the time when we can build relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and mentors who will support us through the ups and downs of life. We can also seek out romantic relationships that are healthy and fulfilling, and learn how to navigate the complexities of love, intimacy, and commitment.But why is it so important that we do all these things in our twenties? Let me give you three reasons.Firstly, our twenties are the time when our brains arestill malleable and adaptable. This means that we are able to learn new skills and knowledge more easily and quickly thanat any other time in our lives. We are also more open-minded and flexible, which makes it easier for us to adapt to new situations and experiences.Secondly, our twenties are the time when we have the most energy and vitality. This means that we are able to work hard, play hard, and achieve more than we ever will again in our lives. We are also more resilient and able to recover from setbacks and failures, which gives us the confidence to take risks and try new things.Lastly, our twenties are the time when we have the most freedom and independence. This means that we are able to make decisions and take actions that will shape our lives foryears to come. We are also less burdened by responsibilities and obligations, which gives us the space and time to focuson ourselves and our own growth.In conclusion, our twenties are a precious and valuable resource that we cannot afford to waste. We need to use this time wisely by investing in education, personal development, and relationships. By doing so, we will create a strong foundation for our future and live a life that is fulfilling, meaningful, and joyful. Remember, as the great philosopher Seneca said, “It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.” Let us not waste our twenties, but instead make the most of this incredible opportunity. Thank you.。

TED英语演讲稿：二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴（附翻译）_演讲稿when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client. i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old woman named alex. now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this i thought i could handle.but i didn’t handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. “thirty’s the new20,” alex would say, and as far as i could tell, she was right. work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back.i said, “sure, she’s dating down, she’s sleeping with a knucklehead, but it’s not like she’s going to marry the guy.”and then my supervisor said, “not yet, but she might marry the next one. besides, the best time to work on alex’s marriage is before she has one.”that’s what psychologists call an “aha!” moment. that was the moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20. yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn’t make alex’s 20s a d evelopmental downtime. that made alex’s 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now. we’re talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one’s getti ng through adulthood without going through their 20s first.raise your hand if you’re in your 20s. i really want to see some twentysomethings here. oh, yay! y’all’s awesome. if you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you’re losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see —okay. awesome, twentysomethings really matter.so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertilityspecialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.this is not my opinion. these are the facts. we know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age 35. that means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “aha!” moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, d on’t panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you’re going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. it’s a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. but what we hear less about is that there’s s uch a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.but this isn’t what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” it’s true. as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. isn’t that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “you have 10 extra years to start your life”? nothing happens. you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.and then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “i know my boyfriend’s no good for me, but this relationship doesn’t count. i’m just killing time.” or they say, “everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time i’m 30, i’ll be fine.”but then it starts to sound like this: “my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better résuméthe day after i graduated from college.”and then it starts to sound like this: “dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off andeverybody started sitting down. i di dn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.the post-millennial midlife crisis isn’t buying a red sports car. it’s realizing you can’t have that career you now want. it’s realizing you can’t have that child you now want, or you can’t give your child a sibling. too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, “what was i doing? what was i thinking?”i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.here’s a story about how that can go. it’s a story about a woman named emma. at 25, emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. she said she thought she might like to wor k in art or entertainment, but she hadn’t decided yet, so she’d spent the last few years waiting tables instead. because itwas cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.”well one day, emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. she’d just bought a new address book, and she’d spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she’d been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “in case of emergency, please call ... .” she was nearly hysterical when s he looked at me and said, “who’s going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? who’s going to take care of me if i have cancer?”now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, “i will.” but what emma needed wasn’t some therapist who really, really cared. emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance. i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emma’s defining decade went parading by.so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something that’s a n investment in who you might want to be next. i didn’t know thefuture of emma’s career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. i’m not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that’s not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. that’s procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. new things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employe d. but half aren’t, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor’s boss is how you get that un-posted job. it’s not cheating. it’s the science of how information spreads.las t but not least, emma believed that you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends. now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. i told emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle downthan 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoever you’re living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate’s cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. that weak tie helped her get a job there. that job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. now, five years later, she’s a special events planner for museums. she’s married to a man she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “now the emergency contact blanks don’t seem big enough.”now emma’s story made that sound easy, but that’s what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.so here’s an idea worth spreading to everytwentysomething you know. it’s as simple as what i learned to say to alex. it’s what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. you’re deciding your life right now. thank you. (applause)译文：记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性，26岁。

第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯，而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

但是我没有搞定。

Alex不断地讲有趣的事情，而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的，很自然地就陷入了附和的状态。

Alex说：“30岁是一个新的20岁”。

没错，我告诉她“你是对的”。

工作还早，结婚还早，生孩子还早，甚至死亡也早着呢。

像Alex和我这样20多岁的人，什么都没有但时间多的是。

但不久之后，我的导师就要我向Alex的感情生活施压。

我反驳说：“当然她现在正在和别人交往，她现在和一个傻瓜男生睡觉，但看样子她不会和他结婚的。

”而我的导师说：“不着急，她也许会和下一个结婚。

但修复Alex婚姻的最好时期是她还没拥有婚姻的时期。

”这就是心理学家说的“顿悟时刻”。

正是那个时候我意识到，30岁不是一个新的20岁。

的确，和以前的人相比，现在人们更晚才安定下来，但是这不代表Alex就能长期处于20多岁的状态。

更晚安定下来，应该使Alex的20多岁成为发展的黄金时段，而我们却坐在那里忽视这个发展的时机。

从那时起我意识到这种善意的忽视确实是个问题，它不仅给Alex本身和她的感情生活带来不良后果，而且影响到处20多岁的人的事业、家庭和未来。

现在在美国，20多岁的人有五千万，也就是15%的人口，或者可以说所有人口，因为所有成年人都要经历他们的20多岁。

如果你现在20多岁，请举手。

我很想看到有20多岁的人在这里。

哦，很好。

如果你和20多岁的人一起工作，你喜欢20多岁的人，你因为20多岁的人辗转难眠，我想看到你们。

很棒，看来20多岁的人确实很受重视。

因此我专门研究20多岁的人，因为我坚信这五千万的20多岁的人，每一个人都应该去了解那些心理学家、社会学家、神经学家和生育专家已经知道的事实：你的20多岁是极简单却极具变化的时期之一。

TED英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴5天内超过60万次浏览量的最新TED演讲“二十岁一去不再来”激起了世界各地的热烈讨论，资深心理治疗师 Meg Jay 分享给20多岁青年人的人生建议：(1)不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

(2)不要把自己封锁在小圈子里。

(3)记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

Meg说：“第一，我常告诉二十多岁的男孩女孩，不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，开始思考你可以是谁，并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

现在就是最好的尝试时机，不管是海外实习，还是创业，或者做公益。

第二，年轻人经常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一条裤子。

可是社会中许多机会是从远关系开始的，不要把自己封锁在小圈子里，走出去你才会对自己的经历有更多的认识。

第三，记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

你的婚姻就是未来几十年的家庭，就算你要到三十岁结婚，现在选择和什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。

简而言之，二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美好时光。

”这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了许多TED粉丝的讨论，来自TEDx组织团队的David Webber就说：Meg指出最重要的一点便是青年人需要及早意识到积累经验和眼界，无论是20岁还是30岁，都是有利自己发展的重要事。

”When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性，26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

TED英语演讲稿：二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴（附翻译）_演讲稿when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client. i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old woman named alex. now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this i thought i could handle.but i didn’t handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. “thirty’s the new20,” alex would say, and as far as i could tell, she was right. work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back.i said, “sure, she’s dating down, she’s sleeping with a knucklehead, but it’s not like she’s going to marry the guy.”and then my supervisor said, “not yet, but she might marry the next one. besides, the best time to work on alex’s marriage is before she has one.”that’s what psychologists call an “aha!” moment. that was the moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20. yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn’t make alex’s 20s a d evelopmental downtime. that made alex’s 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now. we’re talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one’s getti ng through adulthood without going through their 20s first.raise your hand if you’re in your 20s. i really want to see some twentysomethings here. oh, yay! y’all’s awesome. if you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you’re losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see —okay. awesome, twentysomethings really matter.so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertilityspecialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.this is not my opinion. these are the facts. we know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age 35. that means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “aha!” moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, d on’t panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you’re going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. it’s a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. but what we hear less about is that there’s s uch a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.but this isn’t what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” it’s true. as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. isn’t that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “you have 10 extra years to start your life”? nothing happens. you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.and then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “i know my boyfriend’s no good for me, but this relationship doesn’t count. i’m just killing time.” or they say, “everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time i’m 30, i’ll be fine.”but then it starts to sound like this: “my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better résuméthe day after i graduated from college.”and then it starts to sound like this: “dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off andeverybody started sitting down. i di dn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.the post-millennial midlife crisis isn’t buying a red sports car. it’s realizing you can’t have that career you now want. it’s realizing you can’t have that child you now want, or you can’t give your child a sibling. too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, “what was i doing? what was i thinking?”i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.here’s a story about how that can go. it’s a story about a woman named emma. at 25, emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. she said she thought she might like to wor k in art or entertainment, but she hadn’t decided yet, so she’d spent the last few years waiting tables instead. because itwas cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.”well one day, emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. she’d just bought a new address book, and she’d spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she’d been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “in case of emergency, please call ... .” she was nearly hysterical when s he looked at me and said, “who’s going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? who’s going to take care of me if i have cancer?”now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, “i will.” but what emma needed wasn’t some therapist who really, really cared. emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance. i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emma’s defining decade went parading by.so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something that’s a n investment in who you might want to be next. i didn’t know thefuture of emma’s career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. i’m not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that’s not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. that’s procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. new things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employe d. but half aren’t, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor’s boss is how you get that un-posted job. it’s not cheating. it’s the science of how information spreads.las t but not least, emma believed that you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends. now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. i told emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle downthan 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoever you’re living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate’s cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. that weak tie helped her get a job there. that job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. now, five years later, she’s a special events planner for museums. she’s married to a man she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “now the emergency contact blanks don’t seem big enough.”now emma’s story made that sound easy, but that’s what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.so here’s an idea worth spreading to everytwentysomething you know. it’s as simple as what i learned to say to alex. it’s what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. you’re deciding your life right now. thank you. (applause)译文：记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

TED英语演讲稿：二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴5天内超过60万次浏览量的最新TED演讲“二十岁一去不再来”激起了世界各地的热烈讨论，资深心理治疗师 Meg Jay 分享给20多岁青年人的人生建议：(1)不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

(2)不要把自己封锁在小圈子里。

(3)记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

Meg说：“第一，我常告诉二十多岁的男孩女孩，不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，开始思考你可以是谁，并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

现在就是最好的尝试时机，不管是海外实习，还是创业，或者做公益。

第二，年轻人经常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一条裤子。

可是社会中许多机会是从远关系开始的，不要把自己封锁在小圈子里，走出去你才会对自己的经历有更多的认识。

第三，记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

你的婚姻就是未来几十年的家庭，就算你要到三十岁结婚，现在选择和什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。

简而言之，二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美好时光。

”这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了许多TED粉丝的讨论，来自TEDx组织团队的David Webber就说：Meg指出最重要的一点便是青年人需要及早意识到积累经验和眼界，无论是20岁还是30岁，都是有利自己发展的重要事。

”When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapyclient. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性，26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。