Business Writing Strategies
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商务英语写作大纲[5篇范例]第一篇:商务英语写作大纲写作目的(writing purpose)受众/读者(audience)构思过程(thought process)演绎式组织模式(deductive organizational patterns)归纳式组织模式(inductive organizational patterns)直接组织模式(direct organizational patterns)间接组织模式(indirect organizational patterns)写作修改的3个步骤(three distinct stages of revision: adding on;moving around;cutting out)管理沟通(managerial communication)组织沟通(organizational communication)人际关系与团队建设(human relationships and team building)销售沟通(sales communication)商务文件(business documentation)国际交流(跨文化交际)(international communication/ intercultural communication) 表达式写作(expressive writing)沟通式写作(communicative writing)简洁风格(clarity)简易风格(the plain style)简明风格(concision)附件说明信函(cover letters of résumé)3类求职信函(three general types of cover letters for job applications: the application letter;the prospecting letter;networking letter)后续询问信函(follow-up letter)致谢信函(thank-you letter)谢绝工作回复(job rejection letter)接受工作回复(job acceptance letter)辞职信函(resignation letter)告别信函(farewell letter)常见履历表格式(common résumé formats):按年月顺序(chronological résumé format)按任职顺序(functional résumé format)复合式(combination résumé format)简短文件(shortdocument)信息咨询函(message to obtain information)谈判便函(messages that negotiate)说服沟通便函(persuasive messages) 商务便函的特征(8C):清晰性(clarity)正确性(correctness)具体性(concreteness)完整性(completeness)周到性(consideration)礼貌性(courtesy)简洁性(conciseness)一致性(coherence)商务备忘录版式(format of a business memo)商务备忘录功能(function of a business memo)信函结构(structure of a letter) 信件和信封格式(styles of letter and envelop)会议纪要(minutes)逐字记录(verbatim minutes)决议记录(minutes of resolution)陈述记录(minutes of narration)记录内容版式(minutes’ content format)会议议程(meeting agenda)会议筹划(meeting preparations)会议程序(3个环节)(meeting process: planning & preparing, conducting, and following-up)会议后续工作(follow-up activities)后续文案职责(accountability of follow-ups)书面发言写作策略(writing strategies for business presentation)书面发言的材料组织(wring organization for business presentation)书面发言用语(language used in a presentation)书面发言避讳用语(language avoided in a presentation)人际沟通的功能(functions of interpersonal communication)人际沟通的目的(purpose of interpersonal communication)人际沟通的4个阶段(four general stages in interpersonal communication)团队的特征(group characteristics)团队的角色(group roles)团队影响力(group influence)沟通结构(communication structures)企业前景(vision)企业使命(mission)企业价值观(corporate values)企业目标(goal)战略计划(strategies)政策与流程(policies and procedures)业务流程的构成要素(15个)(content of procedures)业务流程的版式及内容(format of a procedure)商务文件的层次结构(3个)(tiers of documentation)ISO 9000 质量体系(ISO 9000 Quality System)商务蓝皮书(blueprint)商务计划书(business plan)战略性计划书(strategic plan)战术性计划书(tactical plan)操作性计划书(operational plan)操作性管理(operational control)战术性管理(tactical control)战略性管理(strategic control)商务背景(business background)市场计划(marketing plan)财务预测(financial projections)行动计划(action plans)商务提案(business proposal)内部提案(internal proposal)外部提案(external proposal)招标提案(solicited proposal)非招标提案(unsolicited proposal)提案写作的简单模式(simple form for proposal writing)提案写作的复杂模式(detailed form for proposal writing)外部提案的结构要素(6个)(elements of the external proposal: introduction;problem identified and defined;objective & goal set;solutions proposed;implementation & measuring;costs and timeframe estimated)内部提案模式的内容版式(content format of internal proposal)征集提案(Request for Proposal, RFP)征集启示的基本要素(basic components of a RFP)提案评估(proposal evaluation)议程报告(agenda)行程安排(itinerary) 费用支出报告(expense reports)项目进程报告(progress report)人事评估报告(personnel evaluation)第一手资料来源(primary sources)第二手资料来源(secondary sources)引证信息(documenting information)解析数据(interpreting data) 常规商务报告(routine reports)任务报告(task reports)条目清单功能(itemized lists)图表辅助功能(graphic aids)标题的功能(headings)协议的本质(essence of a deal)合同的修订(contractual modifications)违约与补偿(breach of contract and remedy)律师费用条款(attorneys fees clause)合同免责(escape from contract)第三方签字(third party signature)合同追加条款(contract rider) 合同授权(authorization)商务谈判(contract negotiation)合同起草(contract drafting)合同实施(execution)合同终止(closeout)合同(contract)合同有效性(validity of contracts)要约(offer)接受(acceptance)法定权力(capacity)Sales contracts 买卖合同Contracts for supply of power ,water,gas or heat 供应电、水、气、热力合同Contracts for loan of money 借款合同 Leasing contracts 租赁合同Financial leasing contracts 承揽合同Contracts for construction projects建设工程合同Carriage contracts运输合同Technology contracts 技术合同Safekeeping contracts 保管合同Warehousing contracts 仓库合同Agency appointment contracts 委托合同Trading-trust contracts行纪合同Brokerage contracts居间合同第二篇:国际商务英语写作大纲国际商务函电(INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE)教学大纲一、编写说明(一)课程的性质、任务《国际商务函电》国际经济与贸易专业的一门核心课程。
Strategy is so important that it’s the overall plan to accomplish one’s goals in the negotiation and the action sequences that will lead to accomplishment of those goals. In this negotiation, we pursuit a win-win situation, therefore we tend to use collaboration strategy. Specific strategy we used in the negotiation are as follow.The opening of the negotiation is the first time the two negotiators meet each other, it’s the beginning of the business negotiation, and a good opening can laid the groundwork for future negotiations. we used reserved strategy at the opening of the negotiation. Our negotiators made an informal get-together session with Mr. Steve at his hotel in order to understanding if he has the willingness to sell the hotel. The informal get-together session focus more on understanding the other party’s thoughts. We won’t make clear responds to the critical questions raising by the other party, but make a reservation.We used prices explain strategy when making offers in the formal negotiation. When the formal negotiation began, we waited for the other party to quote. After they told their price , then we expressed that their offers is not acceptable to us and request an reasonable explanation about the price. This strategy can help us understand the other party’s intention and gain more information from them.The Nibble is used as the strategy of counteroffer. Finding a breakthrough according to the other party’s offer price and information we collected, using the Nibble to make a counteroffer. The hotel was located at the industrial city and the environment is getting worse with the industrial development. In addition, the inside infrastructure of the hotel is old. For reasons like that, the hotel can not satisfy the customer's demand any more and the condition of the hotel is going downhill. Giving the detailed analysis to the other party done by the consultancy, then told them our counteroffer price.There are three main strategy we used to make a concession in this negotiation.1.Reciprocal concession: This strategy used to obtain compliance from another negotiator. Thatmeans we give concessions and expect concessions from the other party on a certain problem in return. As things are at the moment, the position which the hotel located is not being able to satisfy their target clients’ demand. For this, the hotel had better to move away the city and seek for a suitable site. However the hotel is unable to pay for the huge moving expense.Considering the cost of moving, we can make an appropriate concession that we contact a relocation company for the hotel and pay for the moving expense. By doing this, we could asked for a larger favor from the other party in return.2.Long-term benefits: when the other party asks for concession, we could stress thatmaintaining business relation with us will be able to bring long-term benefits. Considering the hotel relocation will result in customer run off to some extent, we could provide the advertisement platform for the hotel. Promise the other party ties an advertisement for the hotel on the outdoor advertising spaces and responsible for the plan and the design.3.Nonspecific Compensation: This strategy allows one party to obtain his objectives and pay offthe other person for accommodating his interest. The payoff may be unrelated to the substantive negotiation being discussed. The hotel’s hotel the target client is 18-25 year-oldyoung student whose paying capacity is low. We respect the spirit that the hotel founders always care of the s minority groups of the society. For this, our company would like to donate 20,000 dollars to aid by establishing a fund for hotelFour main options that we could used in this negotiation for responding to the other party’s offensive.1.Respond in kind: ask for some benefits from the other party before we make concession.When the other party insist on a certain problem and force us to make concession, we could relate this question with other questions together, for the condition to make concession If the other party requests us to raise the price, we could agree it only the when the hotel promise to move within a month. Our company could start our construction as soon as possible if the hotel moves in the in a short time.2.Adjournment: When there is an obstruction in the negotiation, using adjournment couldeffective. When the other party put forward a price that we could not accept it and they showing no willingness to make a concession, then we could call for an adjournment. That could make us analyze the situation objectively, and take the corresponding countermeasure.3.No precedent :that’s a strategy to reject the other party’s request. When the other party makean extortionate request, we could explain to them that our company had no this precedent in the past and it’s un fair to other clients. By using this strategy to protect our own interest.4.Power limitation: During the negotiation ,when the other party asked for price that is close to290,000, our negotiators could indicated that they have no right the decision-making , that have already outrun the power range that they have to ask for instruction from superior.。
关于商业策略的英语作文Title: Crafting Effective Business Strategies。
In today's dynamic business environment, the formulation and implementation of effective strategies are crucial for the success and sustainability of any organization. A well-crafted business strategy not only guides decision-making but also sets the direction for achieving long-term objectives. In this essay, we will delve into the key components and considerations involved in developing sound business strategies.First and foremost, understanding the market landscape is essential for crafting a successful business strategy. This involves conducting comprehensive market research to assess industry trends, competitive dynamics, and consumer preferences. By gaining insights into market demand and competitive positioning, businesses can identify opportunities for growth and potential threats to their operations. Moreover, analyzing the strengths andweaknesses of competitors can provide valuable intelligence for developing a differentiated strategy that capitalizes on market gaps or unmet customer needs.Once a thorough understanding of the market landscape is established, businesses can proceed to define their strategic objectives. These objectives should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). Whether the goal is to expand market share, increase profitability, or diversify product offerings, clear objectives provide a roadmap for aligning resources and efforts towards a common purpose. Additionally, it is important to ensure that strategic objectives are aligned with the organization's mission, vision, and core values to maintain coherence and consistency in decision-making.With strategic objectives in place, the next step is to develop actionable strategies to achieve them. This involves identifying key initiatives and projects that support the overarching goals of the organization. For example, if the strategic objective is to enter new international markets, the corresponding strategies mayinclude market entry analysis, localization of products or services, and establishment of distribution channels. It is crucial to prioritize initiatives based on their potential impact and feasibility, considering factors such as resource availability, market readiness, and competitive dynamics.In addition to proactive strategies for growth and expansion, businesses must also develop contingency plans to mitigate risks and respond to unexpected challenges. This requires scenario planning and risk assessment to anticipate potential disruptions and develop preemptive measures. By preparing for contingencies such as economic downturns, supply chain disruptions, or regulatory changes, businesses can enhance their resilience and adaptability in the face of uncertainty. Furthermore, maintainingflexibility and agility in strategy execution enables organizations to pivot quickly in response to changing market conditions or emerging opportunities.Effective implementation is as important as strategy formulation in driving business success. This involvesaligning organizational structure, processes, and resources to support the execution of strategic initiatives. Clear communication of strategic priorities and expectations is essential for fostering alignment and accountability across all levels of the organization. Moreover, establishing key performance indicators (KPIs) and regular monitoring mechanisms allows for tracking progress and makingnecessary adjustments to stay on course towards strategic objectives.In conclusion, crafting effective business strategies requires a systematic approach that integrates market analysis, objective setting, strategic planning, risk management, and implementation. By following a structured process and leveraging insights from market research and competitive analysis, businesses can develop strategiesthat capitalize on opportunities, mitigate risks, and drive sustainable growth. Moreover, fostering a culture of innovation and adaptability enables organizations to stay agile and responsive in an ever-changing business landscape.。
商业策略英文作文英文:As a business strategist, I believe that having a clear and well-defined business strategy is essential for any company to succeed. A good strategy should focus on the company's strengths and opportunities, while also addressing any weaknesses and threats.One important aspect of a successful business strategy is differentiation. In order to stand out in a crowded market, a company must offer something unique and valuable to its customers. This could be a new product or service, or it could be a different approach to marketing or customer service.Another key element of a strong business strategy is flexibility. The business world is constantly changing, and companies that are able to adapt to new trends and technologies are more likely to succeed. This means that acompany should be open to new ideas and willing to pivotits strategy if necessary.Finally, effective communication is essential for implementing and executing a business strategy. All members of the team should be on the same page and understand the company's goals and objectives. Regular communication and feedback can help ensure that everyone is working together towards a common goal.中文:作为一名商业策略师,我相信制定清晰明确的商业策略对于任何一家公司的成功至关重要。
Strategies of Business Writing forEffective CommunicationAcknowledgementI thank all those who have helped to make this a better paper than it would otherwise have been. Among them, I am especially grateful to Professor Zhang Chunhong, my supervisor, for his indispensable help in polishing this paper at every stage and for his kindness extended to me by furnishing reference materialsMy sincere gratitude also goes to my dear parents, Zhou Aiying and Fan Ande. Their unselfish love and support encourage me to go on with my study.Last but not least, I thank all the professors on the thesis defense panel for their great efforts in reviewing and appraising my paper.AbstractBusiness communication, in short, is the process of transferring commerce-related information from someone who has it to someone who needs it, through the use of special forms and techniques designed to enhance the receiver‟s comprehension of and response to that information.Business writing, a useful means of business communication, is extremely important in the daily transactions of exchanging information, ideas and plans; ordering needed supplies; and making decisions, rules, proposals, contracts, agreements, etc.Strategies applied in business writing are of great significance to effective communication. Therefore, this thesis starts from the importance of effective communication. The first chapter explains the definition of communication and effective communication, the components, the qualities and principles, thesignificance,and the main obstacles of effective communication. Chapter Two is concerned with message strategy in business writing. The study of the Audience Memory Curve reveals the influence of the communication process upon the memory of the audience, thereby leading to the two basic strategies — the direct approach and the indirect approach. Chapter Three focuses on the specific contents of the direct approach, which is applied popularly in writing good-news messages and routine news messages. Such linguistic features as how to arrange the separate parts of a message into an organic whole with unity and coherence are illustrated with plenty of examples from various business occasions, and supported by to-the-point comments on the use of language. The fourth chapter, which is a counterpart of Chapter Three, centers on the indirect approach, which is employed in communicating bad news. Compared with affirmative replies or routine communication, saying No requires greater language skills. As the use of language is more a matter of application and practice than a matter of theory and guidelines, Chapter Four provides contrasted sample writings to show the effects of different language expressions, again with apt comments. In the fifth chapter, the author gives additional tips for business writing like conversational style and increase of word knowledge.Key words: Audience Memory Curve, the direct approach, the indirect approach, effective communication.内容摘要商务沟通,简而言之,是为了提高对信息的理解能力和回应能力,通过使用特殊的形式和技术,把技术信息从来源者传送到需求者的一个过程。
business strategies相关英语Business strategies refer to the plans and tactics that businesses use to achieve their long-term goals.These strategies may include approaches to marketing and sales,operational practices,financial management,and more.The key to an effective business strategy is to align the goals and objectives with a clear understanding of the industry,the competition,and the customers.In this article,we will explore various business strategies and their components that can help businesses succeed and thrive.1.Marketing StrategyTo succeed in today's marketplace,a company must have a clear and compelling marketing strategy.This includes developing a brand positioning,targeting the right audience,and creating messaging that resonates with consumers.A marketing strategy should also include tactics for distributing products or services,such as advertising,public relations,social media,events,and sponsorships.2.Sales StrategyA sales strategy involves identifying and implementing tactics to help businesses sell products or services more effectively.This may include defining sales targets,creating a sales process,and training sales staff to close deals.Additionally,businesses may use technology such as customer relationship management(CRM)tools to track the sales process and improve customer interactions.3.Product Development StrategyA product development strategy is essential for businesses that aim to bring innovative and competitive products or services to market.This strategy may involve researching customer needs,developing new products,or improving existing ones.Additionally,businesses may use product testing and customer feedback to refine their offerings over time.4.Operational StrategyAn operational strategy involves optimizing the management of resources and processes to ensure efficient and effective operations.This may include streamlining production processes, logistics,and supply chain management to reduce costs and increase the speed of delivery.Additionally,businesses may use technology such as enterprise resource planning(ERP)tools to help manage their operations and gain insights into their performance.5.Financial StrategyA financial strategy involves planning and managing finances to achieve long-term goals. This may involve setting budgets,managing cash flow,investing in profitable opportunities,and minimizing debt.Additionally,businesses may use financial reports and analysis to identify areas for improvement and make strategic decisions based on financial data.6.Human Resources StrategyA human resources strategy involves managing the people within a business to achieve success.This may include recruiting and training employees,creating a positive workplace culture, and offering competitive compensation and benefits packages.Additionally,businesses may use performance reviews and employee feedback to improve employee engagement and promote career development.In conclusion,a successful business strategy is a comprehensive approach that takes into account marketing,sales,product development,operations,finance,and human resources.By developing and implementing a strategy that is aligned with clear goals and objectives, businesses can position themselves for long-term success in today's competitive marketplace.。
商务英语写作实例精解第7版一、概述商务英语写作是现代商业环境中必不可少的一项技能。
无论是在跨国公司中与外国合作伙伴进行邮件交流,还是在国际贸易中编写报告,良好的商务英语写作能力都显得十分重要。
本文将介绍商务英语写作实例精解第7版,帮助读者掌握高质量、流畅易读、结构合理的商务英语写作技巧。
二、商务英语写作基本原则1.明确写作目的:在写作之前,需明确自己的写作目的,是要给客户发邮件、编写报告还是进行商务谈判等。
2.适当使用正式语气:商务英语写作通常需要使用正式语气,表达出专业性和正式性。
避免使用口语化的词汇和短语。
3.简洁明了:商务英语写作应该尽量简洁明了,避免使用过多的修饰语和复杂的句式。
清晰的表达意思对于商务合作至关重要。
4.适当使用模板:在商务英语写作中,适当使用一些通用的商务信函模板或报告格式能够提高效率,同时保证专业性。
三、商务英语写作实例1.商务邮件例:Subject: Inquiry about your productsDear Sir or Madam,I am writing to inquire about your products, specifically the new product line you recently launched. I am particularly interested in the technical specifications and pricing of your products. Could you please provide me with more information about the quality and features of your products? Additionally, I would like to inquire about the lead time for delivery and the terms of payment.I would appreciate it if you could send me a det本人led product catalog and price list at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your attention to this matter.Sincerely,[Your Name]2.商务报告例:Title: Market Analysis ReportExecutive Summary:This market analysis report 本人ms to provide an overview of the current market trends and potential opportunities for ourpany. The report covers key insights into consumer behavior, market segmentation, andpetitive landscape. The findings ofthis report will serve as a strategic roadmap for our future business development and expansion.Introduction:The purpose of this report is to analyze the current market landscape and identify potential growth opportunities for ourpany. With the increasingpetition and changing consumer preferences, it is crucial for us to understand the market dynamics and make informed decisions to stay ahead in the market.Methodology:The report is based on aprehensive research study, including primary and secondary data collection. The primary data was collected through surveys and interviews with target consumers, while the secondary data was gathered from industry reports and market analysis publications.Findings:- Consumer behavior trends indicate a growing preference for eco-friendly and sust本人nable products- Market segmentation shows a potential demand for niche luxury products among high-ie consumers- Competitive landscape analysis reveals key strengths and weaknesses of ourpetitors in the marketRmendations:Based on the findings of this report, we rmend the following strategic actions to capitalize on the identified opportunities and mitigate potential risks:- Introduce a new line of eco-friendly products to cater to the growing demand for sust本人nable goods- Develop a premium luxury product range targeting high-ie consumers to expand market share- Implement apetitive pricing strategy to differentiate our products frompetitors and enhance value proposition Conclusion:In conclusion, this market analysis report provides valuable insights into the current market trends and opportunities for ourpany. By leveraging the findings and rmendations of this report, we can align our business strategies to capitalize on the identified opportunities and enhance ourpetitive position in the market.四、结语商务英语写作是一项重要的商业技能,可以帮助我们有效地交流和合作。
商务英语写作成功策略与技巧对于把英语作为外语学习的中国学生来说,写作涉及的内容,小到标点、拼写,大到词句连接、布局某篇、处处离不开语言基本功。
有效地运用写作策略,对于提高英语写作水平有较大的帮助。
1 LCCI商务写作风格London Chamber of Commerce and Industry 伦敦工商协会所代表的商务英语应用文规范以其实用性和权威性得到世界公司和商务机构的广泛认可。
商务应用文的规范得体十分重要,它不仅展示会一个人的英语写作能力,更体现出他所服务的企业或机构的形象。
简便得体的结构体现了高效快捷的现代商务办公水准。
商务领域办公自动化的实现推动了办公效率的提高与工作节奏的加快,从而要求商务书面文件与内容既简易又有规范。
如商务信函的格式为齐头式,给人以直观、整齐的感觉;省略非正文部分的标点符号,以节省时间;按照LCCI商务应用文的规范,商务信函的正文按四步式,即引言、详情、应答、结语、商务报告按introduction, proceeding, finding, conclusion and recommendation 几大要素进行,使其结构严谨、条理清晰。
市场竞争的加剧极大地促进了生活节奏的加快与办公效率的提高,从而对商务领域中语言的使用产生了一定的影响。
多年惯用的陈词滥调、繁文缛节已不合时宜。
商务应用文在词汇与句法方面更加强调既通俗易懂又不失礼节与慎重的职业化、规范化原则。
现代商务沟通方式既礼貌而又不过分谦卑,庄重而又不官气十足。
(1) 齐头式给人以整齐、直观的感觉。
每段开头不必缩格,段落多空一行。
(2) 除正文外,其他各部分均去标点,5 July 2001和Dear Sir中间和后面均不加标点。
(3) 固定敬语Dear sir – Yours faithfully, Dear Mr Clinton – Yours sincerely(4) 固定结构,如报告:LCCI要求报告按Title, Introduction, Proceedings / Findings,Conclusions / Recommendation. 这样一来,具有条理性,逻辑性和层次感。
Exercise File: Business Writing StrategiesThe first four documents below are the complete documents analyzed in the routine request and the routine response lesson (07-01). You might want to review direct order in that lesson. Then five new situations are provided: routine inquiry, routine response, good news, bad news, and persuasion. For each, an ineffective document, questions to think about before revising, and a revision are available.Here is the complete routine inquiry document analyzed:When are you available to meet with our team?Our team has reached a stalemate on the best advertising methods to include in our response to the Ryal Company’s RFP for its new advertising campaign. Basically, we aren’t certain about the percentof time and resources to commit to traditional advertising channels such as television and print versus social and electronic media.We appreciate your input and guidance on helping us prepare a selling proposal to the Ryal Company.Here is the complete routine response examined:I can meet with your team tomorrow at 4:00.I’ll bring the Paulson file—that company we worked with last year is similar to the Ryal Company. If you’ll send me the exact breakdowns you are considering by noon tomorrow, I can analyze them before our meeting.I appreciate the opportunity to give input on this important deal and am certain we can reach a consensus on the advertising budget.This third document is also a routine inquiry:Which of the following do you prefer for our new company logo?Please rank order your top three choices and what you like/dislike about each. This information will be tallied, and the top three will then be voted on by all the managers.Please send this logo information to Sam before EOD Friday.This document is a second example of a routine response discussed in the course:My top three choices in rank order for our new company logo are B, E, and A.Here are my reasons for those choices:The color combination for Logo B is eye-catching and the picture clearly represents the message our company’s current branding campaign is trying to project.Logo E is also acceptable, although it has more of a retro look and the color combination is more muted. Logo A has a more sophisticated look and the design is hard to read. With a slight change of color hue, the design would be more prominent.If you need any help on selecting the best logo, or in collecting and analyzing the survey results, let me know.Now it’s your turn to practice. Read the situation for each of the following five situations, analyze the ineffective document, and use the questions to guide you as you analyze how to revise to improve the documents. Finally, compare your revision to the one provided. Of course, they won’t be exact, but were you able to apply the basic strategies discussed?Routine InquirySituation: Your company is trying to improve its merchandise return procedure and wants input from customers who have recently returned merchandise.Poor Example:Subject: QuestionsAs you recall, you recently returned merchandise to us. We sincerely hope that this transaction was satisfactory. In fact, we are in the process of making changes that will insure that such transactions are more favorably handled.We would like the answers for some questions about your experiences returning merchandise to us. We’d like to know if you were served promptly and courteously and whether the adjustment was satisfactory and in accordance with your wishes. Also, we need to know whether or not the salesperson offered assistance to you in selecting other merchandise.You may write your comments on the form provided, and return it in the enclosed addressed, stamped envelope. If you prefer, go to our website at and give us your answers. We thank you in advance for your cooperation.Before you revise, think about the following aspects:• What about the subject line? It doesn’t give the reader any idea of what the questions are about.• How many questions are in that inquiry document? Look carefully. If you said it contains no questions, you are correct. It has hints of questions, such as ”We’d like to know,” but no exactquestions.• Now, even if you count the hints, how many intended questions is the writer asking? Two, three, four? That’s part of the problem—determining the exact number of questions is difficult.• Next, what is the reader benefit? What does the reader get from taking her time to answer these questions?• Thank you in advance (what a presumptuous ending)—the writer is assuming we will respond.Now revise it. Then compare/contrast your revision to the one below.Routine Inquiry Revision:Subject: Inquiry about Experience Returning MerchandiseWill you please help us to serve you better by answering the following questions.When you returned merchandise at our store recently:1. Were you served promptly and courteously?2. Was the adjustment satisfactory?3. Did the salesperson offer to assist you in selecting other merchandise?Please write your answers and any other comments you may wish to make about the service of the store on the provided form, and return it in the enclosed stamped, addressed envelope. If you prefer, go to our website at and give us your answers.Your honest answers will help us to give you the best service possible.As you compare/contrast your version with the revision provided, ask yourself these questions:• Did your new subject line identify what the questions are about?• Are the questions specific and clear?• Is it reader focused? Notice specifically the opening and closing. Do they include the reader benefit of better service? That’s why we want answers, so that our customers will receive better service.Routine ResponseSituation: Now you are the customer who received the inquiry about the service you received when returning merchandise and you decide to reply.Poor Example:I received your letter about the service I received when I returned merchandise last week. You asked me to tell you about my experience. I’m glad you asked. I was upset that the salesperson wouldn’t give mea refund without a receipt—all I got was an in-store credit. She kept telling me that that procedure was company policy. So, no the adjustment wasn’t satisfactory. She did tell me some similar items that were on sale for which I could apply my in-store credit. I also had to wait in line for about ten minutes; only two service desk people were available around 2 o’clock, which is probably one of your busiest times of the day. I suggest you have more personnel available.Before you revise, think about the following aspects:If you worked for the company receiving this response, you would probably feel a little defensive, and you would have to wade through the wordy opening and rambling answers.Now revise it—making it meet all the strategies for a routine response. Then compare/contrast your revision to the one below.Routine Response Revision:Here are the answers to your questions about my recent service when I returned a pair of trousers and a blender—the trousers were the incorrect size for my son and the person for whom the blender was a gift already had one.1. My wait in line was approximately ten minutes; two service desk employees were available when Iwas there about 2 o’clock. Approximately six customers were in line the entire time I was there.2. My customer service employee explained to me that since I didn’t have a receipt with me,company policy was that I could get only an in-store credit. Receiving a refund would have made me a more satisfied customer. I inquired about exceptions to that company policy and why that was company policy, but no reason was given and no exception was offered.3. The rep did tell me about some similar items that were on sale for which I could apply my in-storecredit. I immediately checked out the suggestions and did use part of the credit on another pair of trousers.I appreciate that you value customer input to improve your customers’ return experiences.Notice these key points: This revision still identifies the concerns you have about the less-than-acceptable service. However, the reader quickly sees the three key issues and the facts, rather than an emotional response, which makes the overall tone much more positive.Both responses contain the same basic information, but the wording and the format make a huge difference in the reader reaction to the messages.Good NewsSituation: You received notice that one of your customers received a shipment of defective products,and the customer wants replacement items. You immediately investigated the situation and found that the seals on the devices were not installed correctly, they leaked during shipment, and you will send a replacement shipment. Here’s a possible adjustment-grant (good news) message.Poor Example:Subject: Defective Shipment ComplaintWe have received your claim reporting that our shipment of medical devices arrived in badly damaged condition. We regret the inconvenience caused you and can understand your unhappiness. Please accept our apologies.Following our standard practice, we investigated the situation thoroughly. Apparently the fault was in our failure to check the seals carefully. As a result, fluid escaped in transit, damaging the exteriors ofthe devices. We have taken corrective measures to assure that future shipments will be more carefully checked.I am pleased to report that we are sending a replacement order. It will be shipped today by Crimson Line Motor Freight.Again, we regret any inconvenience.Before you revise, think about the following aspects:• What about the subject line? Does it give good news or remind the reader of the bad situation?• Is the focus on the writer or the reader?• Is the tone positive or negative?• Do the apologies help?• Where is the good news? Direct or indirect order?Now revise it—making it meet all the strategies for a claim letter. Then compare/contrast your revision to the one below.Good News Revision:Subject: Replacement of Medical Device #2380 ShipmentYour replacement order of medical device #2380 will arrive Saturday. It was shipped today by Crimson Line Motor Freight.Because we want all of our products to arrive in perfect condition, we investigated the returned shipment thoroughly. Even though each device goes through three checks during production, a fourth final check of the seals has already been started. This additional check is being taken to help assure that all future shipments will meet your and our high expectations.These devices will continue to be a big seller for your company as they were just ranked Class 2 by the FDA. If you need another shipment, contact us at201-333-4456 (ext. 23) or ourcompany@. You will receive the shipment within 24 hours. Bad NewsSituation: A potential customer has asked for samples of your product: artificial flowers and trees. Because of rising production costs and shipping costs, you have to give that potential customer the bad news that free samples are not available. But you also want to get the reader to buy from you.Poor Example:REFUSAL OF REQUEST FOR FREE ARTIFICIAL TREE SAMPLESWe are sorry to inform you that we do not give away free samples of artificial trees. If you want to try the product, you will have to pay for it.The cost for the item you requested is $125, plus $20 for postage and handling. We do give qualified companies (yours qualifies) 10% off if an order totals $300 or more.We also have other items such as polish for artificial leaves and vases that you might be interested in purchasing. An order form is enclosed. Again, we are sorry that we have to charge you.Before you revise, think about the following aspects:• What about the subject line? Do you want the reader to know the answer before reading any of the letter?• Should the direct or indirect strategy be used? Which is used in this letter?• Is the focus on the writer or the reader?• Is the tone positive?• What is emphasized (first and last)?• How well is the secondary purpose met—to make the reader understand the reason for the bad news and to accept it?Now revise it—making it meet all the strategies for a bad news letter. Then compare/contrast your revision to the one below.Bad News Revision:YOUR INTEREST IN POPULAR ARTIFICIAL PLANTSThe artificial tree and plants that you requested are very popular as evidenced by the high sales of these products. These products were rated #1 by Landscaping, Inc., as the most lifelike artificial plants on the market.Keeping the costs of these popular trees, as well as all other decorating supplies we sell, as low as possible for you and all our customers is our goal. Although your account will be charged $125 for each tree (plus $20 for shipping and handling), landscapers who use these trees recommend them highly for their natural appearance, color-retaining quality, and easy maintenance. Your company qualifies for a 10% discount if your order totals $300 or more.Enclosed is a price list of a variety of available artificial products and supplies, such as polish and vases. Use the attached order form, order online at flowers@, or call 1-800-500-7825 to place an order. All orders will arrive within seven days.PersuasionSituation: A portion of your company’s parking lot is going to be used for an outdoor picnic space for employees next to the company building. This picnic area will reduce the number of available parking spaces by 50 (and the lot is already being used to its maximum), which means that not all employees will be able to park in the lot. So your goal is to try to persuade more employees to carpool.Poor Example:Subject: Not enough parking spaces, so carpool!Once work on the outdoor picnic area begins, the parking lot will lose 50 of its spaces. We know that the current parking lot is full now. Once those 50 spaces are no longer available, not everyone’s car will be able to park in the lot. You’ll need to carpool so we’ll have enough spaces for all employees. Let us know by next Friday who is going to carpool, so we can give you a special permit that will allow you to park in an area reserved for carpoolers.Before you revise, think about the following aspects:• What about the subject line? What type of reaction will the reader probably have?• Is the focus on the writer or the reader?• Is the tone positive?• Where are the persuasion elements?• Direct or indirect order? Is the AIDA obvious?Now revise it—making it meet all the strategies for a persuasive message. Then compare/contrast your revision to the one below.Persuasive Revision:Subject: Want a special, front-row parking space?Ever wish you could have a reserved parking spot? That wish has the potential of becoming reality! Beginning Monday, parking rows A, B, C, and D will be reserved for certain employees.As you know, the northeast corner of the parking lot is being used for the new employee outdoor picnic area. This new picnic area is one of the requested “perks” from our last employee survey. It will be ready by midmonth. The new picnic area will, however, remove 50 of the available parking spaces. More employees’ carpooling will help ensure that all vehicles have a space. To encourage carpooling, the first four rows (A, B, C, D) will be reserved exclusively for those vehicles with three or more employees.The names of employees who live within a 5-miles radius of you are available on the company intranet. Let HR know as soon as you have a carpooling group, and you will receive a special hangtag to park in the reserved rows.Space for everyone to park, reduced gas expenses, less wear and tear on your vehicle, and a reserved parking space—carpooling is a win/win situation.。