老友记第一季

Rachel. We're running low on resumes. 瑞秋履历表快用完了You want a job with Popular Mechanics? 你真想到《大众机械》杂志社上班吗Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, 如果你想要从事机械行业those are the ones to work for. 那你就算找对地方了Guys, I'm going for anything here. 各位我什么都得试试I can't be a waitress anymore. 我不能再当服务生了I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips. 我是说真的我已厌倦微薄小费I'm sick of being called "Excuse Me." 我已厌倦顾客不把我当人使唤Rach, did you proofread these? 瑞秋这些你校对过吗Yeah. Why? 对有问题吗Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed 没事他们对你高超的with your excellent "compuper" skills. "电恼"技术定会印象深刻的Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them? 糟了每一份上面都这样吗No, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few. 没事我肯定富士施乐打印机改掉一些了- Hey, guys. - Hey. -嗨小伙子们 -嗨Hi, ladies. 嗨姑娘们Can I get you anything? 需要什么吗Did you bring the mail? 信件带来了没- Lots of responses. - Really? -很多回复 -真的吗Sure, we have scones left! 我们这儿当然还有烤饼Read them to me. 快念给我听"Dear Miss Greene: "亲爱的格林小姐Thank you for your inquiry. "However" 感谢您的申请然而..."- We have apple cinnamon -"Dear Ms. Greene...." -我们有苹果肉桂 -"亲爱的格林小姐" Yeah, yeah! No. 好好不行- What? - Your Visa bill is huge! -怎么了 -你的信用卡账单不少呀Give me that. 给我I can't believe you. Linda's so great. 我真不敢相信琳达那么好Why won't you go out with her? 你为何不再和她约会- I don't know. - ls this still about her... -我也不知道 -还是因为她说了- I don't know. - ls this still about her... 60年代美国动画片故事以原始人为背景... "The Flintstones could have really happened" thing?《摩登原始人》里的情节真有可能发生It's not just that. I want someone who does something for me... 不仅仅是那样我要一个能让我有感觉...who gets my heart pounding. 能让我心跳加速Who makes me.... 能给我...Little playthings with yarn? 做小毛绒玩具吗What? 什么Could you want her more? 你是有多喜欢她Who? 谁Who? 美国七十年代情景喜剧Dee, the sarcastic sister from What's Happening!!. 阿蒂《发生何事》中那个犀利的妹妹Look, I'm totally over her. 我早就不喜欢她了- Hi! - Coffee? -嗨 -要咖啡吗- No, we're fine. - Okay. -不用加 -好的- Shut up! - We're not saying anything. -闭嘴 -我们什么都没说- What? - Joey cried last night. -怎么了 -昨晚乔伊哭了- Thank you. - We were playing poker -谢谢 -我们正在玩扑克牌There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight. 三点上有巧克力看起来像是八点You should have seen him. 可惜你没看到"Read them and weep!" 他说"准备痛哭流涕吧"And then he did. 结果哭的是他Now, how come you guys have never played poker with us? 你们怎么没和我们玩过扑克牌Yeah, what is that? 对啊为什么Like some kind of sexist guy thing? 这是性别歧视的问题吗It's poker, so only guys can play? 这是扑克只有男人才能玩No. Women can play. 不啊女生也欢迎加人Then, what is it? Some kind of, like, some kind of, you know 那么为什么...这到底是为什么All right, what is it? 快说到底为什么There are just no women in our game. 只是刚好女生没加入罢了We just don't know any women who know how to play poker. 对我们刚好找不到会玩扑克的女生That is such a lame excuse. It's a typical guy response. 这个借口真烂男生都是这种反应Do you know how to play? 请问你们谁会玩扑克牌No. 不会- But you could teach us. - No. -但你们可以教我们 -不要Okay, so now we draw cards. 现在开始抽牌So I wouldn't need any. I have a straight. 我不需要对吧因为我一把顺- Oh, good for you! - Congratulations! -你太棒了 -恭喜了- Pheebs, how many do you want? - I just need two. -菲比你要几张 -我需要两张The 10 of spades and the 6 of clubs. 黑桃十和梅花六Pheebs. No, you can't 菲比不你不能这么要Wait! I have the 10 of spades! Here. 等等我有你要的黑桃十给Thanks! 谢谢!No, you can't do that. 不你不能那样It's ok. Don't need them. I'm going for fours. 没关系我不需要我要四张同点Oh, you're. 哦是吗Here we go. 开始吧We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites. 我们有炸鲑鱼圈配蔬菜沙拉Monica. What are you doing? 莫妮卡你在干什么This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. 这是打扑克食物名称不能超过两个字It's got to be like chips or dip or pretz. 得是薯片沙司百奇之类的OK, so at this point, the dealer... 现在发牌的人...We got it. Let's play for real. 我们会了开始玩真的吧High stakes. Big bucks! 高赌资大笔钱You sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks 你当真菲比刚丢出一双十一点because they didn't look happy. 就因为他们好像不开心But I'm ready. So just deal. 但我准备好了发牌吧Okay, last-minute lesson! Joey.... 各位最后通知乔伊Three. 三点Eight. 八点Eight. Three. All right, very good. 八点三点好的不错Damn it, damn it, damn it! 该死该死该死- I see, so you were lying. - About what? -我明白了你们在骗人 -骗什么- About how good your cards were. - I was bluffing. -骗你们牌有多好 -那是唬人And what is bluffing? 什么是唬Is it not another word for lying? 不就是骗的同义字吗Sorry to break up this party, 抱歉我不能再玩了but I've got to go fax resumes before work. 我得在明天工作前打好履历表but I've got to go fax resumes before work. settle也有定居之意- We've got to settle. - Settle what? -瑞秋我们得算帐 -什么定居The Jamestown colony of Virginia. 在维吉尼亚的詹姆斯敦殖民地See, King George is giving us the land.... 乔治三世把它给了我们美国所以...-The game, Rachel. You owe us money. - Right. -是扑克瑞秋你欠我们钱 -对哦You know what, you guys? It's their first time, 这样吧兄弟们这是她们第一次打扑克why don't we just forget about the money, alright? 别和她们计较钱了Hell, no. We'll pay! 那怎么行我们会付钱的Monica, I had another answer all ready. 莫妮卡我本来准备好另一个回复了And you know what? We want a rematch. 你们知道吗我们要重来一盘Well that's fine with me. Could use the money. 我无所谓钱多不嫌烧手So basically, you get your ya-yas 这么说你们的组合家具基本上by taking money from your friends. 都是用朋友的钱买来的Yes, and I get my ya-yas from IKEA. 没错而且我是在"宜家"家具商场买的You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less. 得自己动手装但便宜一点Look, Rach, this is poker. I play to win. 瑞秋这是扑克牌玩就是要赢For me to win, others have to lose. 如果我想赢就得有人输If you're gonna play pocker with me, don't expect me to be a nice guy. 如果想和我玩牌就别指望我做个好人Because once those cards are dealt.... 因为牌一发出Yeah? 然后呢I'm not a nice guy. 我就不是个好人All right, boys, let's eat. 各位吃吧Did you get that from the "I Love Rachel Pizzeria"? 这是从"我爱瑞秋披萨屋"买的吗You still on that? 还没笑够啊Come on. What was with that Black Bart speech? 得了吧不然你为何学黑道电影讲话"When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy." "玩起牌来我就不是个好人"You're way off. 你扯太远了No, I don't think so, because I think you love her! 我可不这么认为因为我觉得你爱她No. I might have had feelings for her at one time. 不或许我曾对她有爱意Not anymore. 但我已心灰意冷I just 我只是Marcel! Where are you going with that disk? 马塞尔你拿那张光盘要干嘛You are not putting that on again. Marcel! 不能再放上去马塞尔If you press that button,you are in very, very big trouble. 如果你按那个按钮你可有大麻烦了You believe what a jerk Ross was being? 你能相信罗斯刚刚那么混蛋吗- Yeah, I know. - He can get really competitive. -我懂 -他的好胜心最强了What? 什么"Hello, kettle, This is Monica. You're black!" "你好水壶我是莫妮卡你好黑啊""Hello, kettle, This is Monica. You're black!" 罐子笑壶黑谚语指五十步笑百步Please! 拜托I'm not as bad as Ross. 我没像罗斯那么过分I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident? 我抗议 "画图猜字"那次呢That wasn't an incident. 我不是故意的I was gesturing and the plate slipped out of my hand. 我在做手势时盘子不慎从手里滑落了- I got an interview! - You're kidding! Where? -我有面试机会了 -不是吧在哪- I got an interview! - You're kidding! Where? 顶级百货公司Saks Fifth Avenue. 萨克斯第五大道精品店Oh, Rachel! 哦瑞秋It's like the mother ship is calling you home. 这就像是母舰在呼唤你归队- What's the job? - Assistant buyer. -是什么工作 -采购助理I would be shopping! 我要靠购物...For a living! 来谋生了That's Aunt Iris. This woman's been playing poker since she was 5. 艾莉丝姑姑来了她从五岁便开始玩牌You've got to listen to every word she says. 她说的每个字我们都得牢记在心ls Tony Randall dead? 托尼·兰德尔死了吗ls Tony Randall dead? 著名演员- What? I don't think so. - He may be now. -什么没有吧 -现在说不定- Because I think I hit him with my car. - My God, really? -因为我好像开车撞到他了 -真的吗No, that's bluffing. Lesson number one. 不唬你们的这是第一课Let me tell you something. 我告诉你们Everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap! 打扑克时听到的每个字都是狗屁- Nice earrings. - Thank you. -耳环挺好看 -谢...Girls, sit down. 坐吧姑娘们Aunt lris, this is Phoebe and Rachel. 艾莉丝姑姑这是菲比这是瑞秋Listen, I'm parked at a meter. Let's do it. Okay? 听着我停车要收费的快点开始吧Ross, could we please listen to anything else? 罗斯求你了我们能听点别的吗All right. 好吧I'm gonna pay for that tonight. 晚上我要遭报应了Hi. Guys, guess what? 伙计们猜猜看怎么了The fifth dentist caved, 第五位牙医妥协了The fifth dentist caved, 该品牌广告中称五个牙医有四个推荐它and now they're all recommending Trident? 他们现在都推销"三叉戟"牌口香糖了吗No, the interview! 不是面试She loved me! She absolutely loved me. 她喜欢我她绝对非常喜欢我We talked like two and a half hours. 我们谈了能有两个半小时We've the same taste in clothes. 我们对服饰的品味一致And I went to camp with her cousin. 我还和她的表妹一起去过夏令营The job is perfect! I can do this. 这工作太完美了我可以胜任That's great! That's wonderful. 太好了太棒了Then she told the funniest story... 然后她给我讲了个超好笑的故事Great, you will tell us and we'll laugh. 很好行了假设你讲完了我们笑完了Let's play poker! 玩牌吧Listen you guys, we talked about it 各位听好我们谈过此事and if you don't wanna play, we completely understand 如果你们不想玩我们完全了解Yes, we can play some other game. 对我们可以玩别的游戏Like, I don't know. Pictionary? 比如说看图猜字Very funny. 真好笑But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies? 但我们想再试一次打扑克对吧姑娘们Yes, I think we should. 没错我想是的Rach. Do you want me to shuffle those? 瑞秋需要我来洗牌吗No. That's okay, I'm gonna give it a go. 不用了没事我想自己试试So Pheebs owes $7. 50. Monica owes $10.00. 这样菲比欠7块5 莫妮卡欠10块And Rachel, you owe 15 big ones! 瑞秋你欠15块Thanks for teaching us Cross-Eyed Mary. 谢谢教我们"美女斜眼暗示法"You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game. 兄弟们我们平时玩牌的时候也该试试All right, here's my $7.50. 给这是我的7块5But I think you should know that this money is cursed. 不过我告诉你们这钱已受到诅咒- What? - I cursed it! -什么 -我对它下了咒Now bad things will happen to the spender. 花这些钱的人会倒大霉That's alright, I'll take it. 无所谓我接受Bad things happen to me anyway. 我反正够倒霉的了This way, I can split them up with a movie. 这样的话我还可以看场电影分散分散So that just leaves the big Greene poker machine, who owes 15.现在只差格林牌扑克机欠了15块没给了It's so typical. 男生都这副德行"I'm a man! I have a penis! "我是男人我有小鸡鸡""I have to win money to exert my power over women!" "我得靠赢钱才能征服女人"You know. This isn't over. 知道吗这事没完We'll play you again. 我们还要跟你们再战And we'll win, and you'll lose. 我们大获全胜你们一败涂地And you'll beg, and we'll laugh. 你们跪地求饶我们仰天大笑And we'll take every last dime you have. 我们会赢走你们的每一分钱And you'll hate yourselves forever! 你们会永远恨死自己Kind of stepped on my point there, Mon. 你这有点给我拆台啊莫妮卡So, you gals wanna give us your money now? 姑娘们你们想现在就把钱给我们吗That way, we don't have to go through 这样我们就不必浪费时间the formality of actually playing. 装模作样地玩一场了No, that's fine. 不就这样We'll see who has the last laugh, monkey boy. 我倒要看看谁笑到最后猴子男Done with chitchat? Ready for serious poker? 聊完了没可以开始玩真的了吗You guys, look! The one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. 你们看独眼杰克一直看着我Right. Serious poker. 好玩真的- Excuse me. Where are you going? - To the bathroom. -等下你要上哪儿去 -卫生间Want to go to the bathroom or play poker? 你想上厕所还是玩牌Go to the bathroom. 我想上厕所- Well, I'm gonna order a pizza. - No! -好吧我去订披萨 -不行I'm waiting to hear from that job. 我还在等面试回信The store closes at 9:00. Eat then. 他们的店9点关门那时候再吃吧That's fine. I'll just have a Tic Tac to hold me over. 行那我就含块薄荷糖提神All right. Cincinnati. No blinds. Everybody,ante. 来吧辛辛那提玩法下注吧Yes! 太好了Or no. 或者不太好All right! Your money's mine, Greene. 你的钱是我的了格林Your fly's open, Geller. 你的裤门没拉盖勒You guys know what I just realized? 你们知道我刚发现什么吗Joker is poker with a "J"! "杰克"就是把"扑克"中的"扑"换掉Coincidence? 是巧合吗That's jo-incidence with a "C"! 这么说"巧合"就是"茄盒"变过来的啊- Phoebe? - Yeah, I'm out. -菲比 -我不跟了- I'm in. - Me too. -我跟 -我也跟Me too. What do you got? 我也跟你拿什么牌Me too. What do you got? flush有"同花"的意思You better hop out of the shower, because I got a flush. 你最好赶紧洗完澡因为我要冲马桶了Well, well, well! 行了行了行了Hop back in, bucko, because I got four sixes! 滚回来吧小子因为我拿了四张六I got four sixes! I won! 我有四张六我赢了I actually won! Oh, my God! 我真的赢了天哪You know what? I'll make a little Ross pile. 你们知道吗我要把小罗斯堆起来I think that one was Ross'. And I think that one was Ross'. 我想这是罗斯的那个也是罗斯的Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it, 你的钱都归了我再也别想见到它and your fly's still open, 你的裤门还没拉I made you look. 我骗到你低头看- I'm in. - I couldn't be in-er. -我跟 -我肯定跟Monica, in or out? 莫妮卡跟还是不跟I hate this game! 我讨厌玩牌Joey, your bet. 乔伊你呢I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach... 我输得像是个廉价妓女还被一个by a fat guy with sores on his face. 满脸伤痕的胖子对着肚子踹了一脚I'm out. 我不跟- Ross? - I'm very in. -罗斯 -我确定跟- Chandler? - Couldn't be more out. -钱德勒 -绝对不跟Me too. Rachel? 我也一样瑞秋I will see you and I'll raise you. 我不但跟而且还要加注What do you say, wanna waste another buck? 如何还想再浪费钱吗No, not this time. So, what did you have 这回肯定不会来吧给我看牌- I'm not telling. - Show them. -我不会说的 -给我看- No. - Show them! -不 -给我看- Get your hands out of there! - I've had dates like this. -把你的手拿开 -我约会时常常这样Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? 天啊你真是输不起的家伙Your whole face is getting red. 你的脸涨得好红Veins popping out of your temple! 太阳穴青筋毕露Plus, that shirt doesn't really match those pants. 而且这件上衣跟裤子一点不搭- First of all. I'm not losing. - You're definitely losing. -首先我不会输的 -你输定了Hello. Rachel Greene. 你好瑞秋·格林Excuse me. It's about the job! 不好意思这是有关工作的电话Barbara, hi! How are you? 芭芭拉你好吗No, I understand. 不我理解Come on. No, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah. 不我没事快别这么说But if anything else opens up, please 但如果还有其他职位缺人请Hello? 喂Sorry, Rach. 我很遗憾,瑞秋There's gonna be lots of other stuff. 工作机会肯定有的是Okay. 好的Where were we? 玩到哪儿了Five-card draw. 五张牌抽法Jacks are better. Nothing wild. Everybody,ante. 11点算大大家下注- Look, Rach, we don't have to do this. - Yes, we do. -瑞秋别再玩了 -要玩下注- All right. Check. - Check. -好吧不跟 -不跟- I'm in for 50 cents. - Call. -我跟5毛钱 -跟I'm in. 我跟I see your 50 cents... 我跟你5毛...and I raise you $5. 而且我要加5块钱I thought it was a 50-cent limit. 我以为5毛是上限I just lost a job, I'd like to raise it $5. 我刚失去工作机会所以想加5块Does anyone have a problem with that? 各位有问题吗- Not at all. - No. We're out. -当然没有 -没有我们收牌Loser? 废柴- No, I fold. - What do you mean, you fold? -我收牌了 -你收牌是什么意思I thought that, "Once the cards are dealt, I'm not a nice guy." 你不是说"一旦发牌我就不是好人"吗Were you just full of it? 还是只是信口胡说I'm in. 我跟- How many do you want? - One. -要几张牌 -一张Dealer takes two. 庄家两张- What do you bet? - I bet $2. -下多少 -我下2块Okay. I see your $2... 我跟你2块...and I raise you... 再加你... 20. 20块I see your $20... 我跟你20块... raise you $25. 再加到25块I see your $25 and Monica, get my purse. 跟你25块莫妮卡拿我的钱包来Rachel, there's nothing in it. 瑞秋里面没钱Okay, then get me your purse. 那就拿你的钱包来- Here you go. Good luck! -Thank you. -给你祝你好运 -谢谢I saw your $25 and I raise you... 跟你25块再加...seven. ...7块teen! 是17块!Joey, I'm a little shy. 乔伊我有点囊中羞涩That's okay, Ross. You can ask me. 没关系罗斯有什么问题可以问我- What do you need? - 15. -要多少 -15块- Here's 10. - I got 5. -这里有10块 -我这里有5块- Thank you. - Good luck. -谢谢 -祝你好运I am calling your 17. 再加十七块What do you got? 你拿什么牌Full house. 三张同点加一对You got me. 败给你了- That's tough to beat. - I thought we had it! -那确实很难赢 -我以为我们会赢When you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards. 没有好牌就是没有好牌But look how happy she is. 瞧她多开心- Airmail. - Airplane. Airport. Airport '75! -航空邮件 -飞机机场《75空难》Airport '77! Airport '79! 《77空难》《79空难》Time's up! 时间到Time's up! 电影名Bye Bye Birdie! "再见了小鸟"That's a bird? 那是小鸟That's a bird! 那就是小鸟Okay, it's my turn. 该我了Go! 开始Bean! Bean! 豆子豆子Bean! Bean! 英文名与"非常像豆子"谐音The Unbearable Lightness of Being! 生命中不能承受之轻That you get? 答对了That you get?! 这样就能猜中第一季第十八集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。

Telling you, Ross, she wants you.She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. - Any contact? - She lent me an egg.- You're in! - Right.- Hey, Ross. - Hey!Come on. Ross, you got get back in the game.The Rachel thing isn't happening,your ex-wife's a lesbian....I don't think we need a third.Excuse me. Could we get an egg, still in the shell?An egg?Yeah. You gonna go up to her and say,"Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."I think it's winning.- It's insane. - She'll love it.-Thank you. -Thank you. Here.Go with the egg, my friend.Go, go, go!- Think it'll work? - No way. It's suicide.The man's got an egg.- You can't do this. - Do what?Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.No! Pheebs, don't you remember why you dumped him? Because he was creepy.And mean. And a little frightening.Still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guyany night of the year.I know I do.What are you guys doing tomorrow night?Actually tomorrow night kind of depends on how tonight goes. - About tonight - Don't ger your bail on me!The only reason she's goin' out with meis because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.Yes I know, but her friend sounds like such a...Pathetic mess. I know, but....Come on, man. She's needy, vulnerable.I'm thinking....Thanks.You haven't been out with a woman since Janice.You're doing this.- She said yes. - Way to go, man!- Still got the egg,huh? - Yeah.How do I look?I don't care.There's Lorraine.Remember. No trading.You get the pretty one, I get the mess.Hi, Joey.Well, well! Look what you brought!Very nice.And what did you bring?She's checking her coat.Joey, I'm gonna wash the cab smell off of my hands.Get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.Janice?Janice!?Oh......my......God!Hey, it's Janice!Okay, I'm making a break for it! I'm going out through the window. No, no, no, I've been waiting for, like,forever to go out with Lorraine.- Just calm down. - Calm down?You set me up with a womanI've dumped twice in the last five months!Can you stop yelling? You're making me nervous and....I can't go when I'm nervous.I'm sorry, you're right.Come on! Do it, do it!Roger was creepy,but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.- Which one is Pete Carney? - Pete the Weeper.Remeber the guy that used to cry every time we had sex?"Was it good for you?"I'd take crying any day over Howard, the "I win" guy!"I win! I win!"We went out for two months. I didn't win once.How do we end up with these jerks?- We are good people! - I don't know.We're some kind of magnets.I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.There's more beer, right?You know my friend who shaves her head?She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle......you can do a cleansing ritual.Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.Yeah.We can do it tomorrow night.It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.Okay, what kind of ritual?We can burn the stuff they gave us.Or...?Or we can chant and dance around naked with sticks.Burning's good.You know...... ever since I was little, I can pick up quarters with my toes.Yeah? Good for you.Quarters or rolls of quarters?By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all of my pictures.So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.That's okay.Are you sure, really? Because you could make little puppets out of them.And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty! We can't do that!What? What can't you do?Can I talk to you for a second? Over there?We might be leaving now.Tell me it's you and me "we."She wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is!But I definitely want to be a part of it!Okay, you cannot do this to me.You're right. I'm sorry.Can we have three chocolate mousses to go, please? I'm out of here.Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me.I'm sorry, Chandler.I hope she throws up on you.Thanks.- So.... - Just us.What a crappy night!I have enjoyed the fact......that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper. Excuse me.How you doing?So do we have the best friends, or what?Joey's not a friend. He's......a stupid man who left us his credit card.Another drink? Dessert? A big-screen TV?- I'll have a drink. - Got it. Good woman!- Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne? -Each. That's right, each. And a rob roy.I've always wanted to know.Happy Valentine's Day!Oh, I miss you already.- Can you believe this happened? - No, no!And yet it did.- Goodbye, Janice. - Kiss me!Oh, Chandler. Sorry.Oh, Chandler. Sorry!- Hey, Janice. -Hi, Monica.Well, this was very special.Rach, come see who's out here!What's going on? Oh, my God!Janice! Hi!Janice is gonna go away now!I'll be right back.Joey! Look who it is!Good. Joey's home.This is so much fun!This is like a reunion in the hall!Ross, there's someone I want you to say hi to.He happened to call.Hi, Ross. That's right,it's me! How did you know?I'm just saying if dogs do its experience jet lag...... because of the seven dog years to one human year thing... ...when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles...... he doesn't just lose three hours,he loses a week and a half. That's funny!Who are they?The blond is my ex-wife.And the woman touching her is her......close, personal friend.You mean they're lovers?If you want to put a label on it.- Anything else I should know? - Nope. That's it.Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.I always forget that part.Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.All I had is oregano and a Fresca.That's okay!Now we need the semen of a righteous man.Ok, Pheebs, you know what?If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. - Can we start throwing things in? - Yeah, okay!Okay. Barry's letters.Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.And I have the receipt from my dinner with....- A picture of Scotty Jared naked! - Let me see!- He's wearing a sweater. - No.Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.Wait, isn't it almost pureHow can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.Hello, funny valentine!Hi, just Janice.Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker.I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna.If you don't do it, I will.So are you, what do you for a leaving?Well, you know, with..Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.I thought they could.- It's Valentine's Day. - I know, but it's my job.I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry.I'm spending most of my time teaching science......which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.Now, that is funny!Do you think it would be too weirdif I invited Carol over to join us?Because she's alone now. And pregnant. And sad.- I guess. - Are you sure? Carol!- Wanna join us? - No, I'm fine.Come on. These people will scooch down.You guys will scooch, won't you?Let's try scooching! Come on!- Come on. - Thank you.IKristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick.Carol, Kristen.- How do you do? - Carol teaches sixth grade.And Kristen....Kristen does something......that, funnily enough......wasn't even her major!What do we got there?A piece of sik boxer shorts.Some greeting cards.A half-charred picture of....That guy's hairier than the chief!It's a really funny story how this happened.It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain.This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire we've seen get out of control. - You are the third one tonight. - Really?Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.- I brought you something. - Is it loaded?Oh, little candy hearts."Chan and Jan Forever."I had them made special.Okay, Janice.Hey, Janice.There's no way to tell you this.At least, there's no new way.I just don't think things are gonna work out.That's fine.It is?Because I know that this isn't the end.You see, actually, it is.No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen.Don't you know it yet?You love me, Chandler Bing!Oh, no, I don't.Then ask yourself this. Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's, who invited who?Valentine's, who asked who into bed?- I did, but - You seek me out!Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! Janice! Janice!You want me. You need me.You can't live without me. And you know it.You just don't know you know it.See?Call me!It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.You did so, I swear toHow long has she been in the bathroom?She isn't in the bathroom. Her coat's gone.Well, maybe it's cold in there.Maybe I screwed up my first date in nine years.- That could be it. - Oh, God.You know, this is still pretty hot.Mushroom.Smile.They won't all be like this.Some might stay through dinner.- I'm sorry. That's not funny. - It's just....You know the whole "get on with your life" thing? Well, do I have to?I'm sitting here with this cute woman......and she's perfectly nice, but that......that's it.Then I'm here talking to you, and it's easy and it's fun. And I don't have to....- I know. - You know?Here's a wacky thought.Let's say you and I give it another shot.I know what you're gonna say. You're a lesbian.But what do you say we just put that aside for now. Let's just stick a pin in it.Because we're great together. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby.- I mean, how perfect is that? - RossYou keep saying that,but there's something right here. I love you.I love you too.- But - No "but."You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out.You'll find someone.The right woman is waiting for you.It's easy for you to say. You found one already.All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. Not her.We get off at midnight. We'll pick you up then.Okay. Great!So will you bring the truck?I'll even let you ring the bell.- We'll see you later. - Bye! See you later!Oh, my God!See? There you go. The cleansing worked.You're right. They're nice guys!They're firemen guys!You guys tell them you're married?No way. You kidding. My girlfriend doesn't even know. I'm not gonna tell them!第一季第十四集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。

Unbelievable! It's been half an hour. 真是难以置信已过了半个小时If this was a cartoon, 如果这是卡通片you'd look like a ham right about now. 我看你都该跟火腿一个样了- There's the waitress. Hello, miss! - It's Phoebe! -侍者在那嗨小姐 -是菲比Okay, will that be all? 你们就点这些吗Wait. What are you doing here? 等等你来这儿干什么I was over there. Then you said, "Hello,miss." 我本来在那然后你叫 "嗨小姐"So I'm here. 所以我就过来了No, how come you're working here? 不你怎么会在这儿工作Because it's close to where I live, 因为这离我的住处很近and the aprons are cute. 而且围裙也很漂亮- Can we start over? - Okay, I'm gonna be over here. -可以重来吗 -好的我到那边去I don't know whether he's testing me...or just acting out,我叫不准他是在考验我还只是有样学样... but my monkey is out of control! 但我的猴子已经失控了He keeps erasing the messages on my machine. 他不断清除我答录机上的留言Supposedly by accident. 应该是个意外Oh, yeah, I've done that. 是啊我做过这种事And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did,然后他连续三天赶在我看报纸前...and peed all over the crossword! 在猜字游戏上尿尿I've never done that. 这我没做过All right, now look at her and tell me 行了现在看着她你敢说she doesn’t look exactly like her sister. 她跟她姐姐长得不是一模一样吗I'm saying I see a difference. 我看到不同之处They're twins. 她们是双胞胎I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot! 我不管菲比是菲比厄休拉很火辣You know the thing what we talk about each other about things?你知道我们彼此之间无话不说的吧-Let's not do that anymore. - All right. -别再这么干了 -好吧- Pheebs, guess who we saw today? - Oh, fun! Okay. - 菲比猜我们今天遇见谁 -真好玩- Pheebs, guess who we saw today? - Oh, fun! Okay. 电影演员- Liam Neeson. - No. -连恩·尼逊 -不是- Liam Neeson. - No. 记者- Morley Safer. - No. -莫利·塞弗 -不是- The lady who cuts my hair! - This could be a very long game. -我的女理发师 -这么玩下去没完没了- Your sister, Ursula. - Oh, really? -你姐姐厄休拉 -真的吗- She works at that place.... - Riff's. I know. -她在餐厅上班 -瑞菲餐厅我知道You do? She said you guys haven't talked in years. 你知道吗因为她说你们已多年不说话So, is she fat? 对她胖吗Not from where I was standing. 从我的角度看不会Where were you standing? 你从什么角度Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along? 菲比你们姐俩就是合不来吗It's mostly just dumb sister stuff. 这只是姐妹之间的事Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one. 大家都认为她比我漂亮She was the first to walk 她先学会走路even though I did it later that same day. 虽然我是在当天稍后学会的But to my parents, by then it was, "Yeah, what else is new?" 对我爸妈而言那就已经不新鲜了Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've gotta go. 菲比抱歉我得走了I've got Lamaze class. 我得去学习无痛分娩法And I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym? 我得去参加地球科学班健身房见了- ls this just gonna be you and Carol? - Susan will be there too. -就你和卡罗尔吗 -不苏珊也要去We've got dads, we've got lesbians. 这样就有了爸爸还有女同志The whole parenting team. 完美父母团lsn't that gonna be weird? 这样不是会很奇怪No. lt might have been at first... 不会的一开始或许会... but now I'm comfortable with the whole situation. 现在我已坦然面对这个事实- Ross, that's my jacket. - I know. -罗斯那是我的外套 -我知道Hi. We're the Rostens. I'm J. C. and he's Michael. 我们是罗斯特一家我是洁西他叫迈克尔And we're having a boy and a girl. 我怀的是龙凤胎Good for you. All right, next? 厉害下一位I'm Ross Geller. And that's my boy in there. 我叫罗斯她怀的是我的儿子And this is Carol Willick. And this is Susan Bunch. 她叫卡罗尔·威利克这位是苏珊·本驰Susan is Carol's.... 苏珊是卡罗尔的...Who's next? 下一位是谁Sorry, Susan is...? 抱歉苏珊是...Susan is Carol's, Carol's, Carol's, friend... 苏珊是卡罗尔的卡罗尔的朋友- Life partner - Like buddies. -生活伴侣 -伙伴那种- Like lovers. - You know how close women can get. -恋人那种 -你知道女人能有多亲近的- Susan and I live together. - Although I was married to her. -我俩住在一起 -但我俩曾经结过婚- Carol, not me. - It's a bit complicated. -他跟卡罗尔不是我 -有点复杂- But we're fine. - Absolutely! -但是我们能解决 -绝对的So, twins! That's like two births. 双胞胎啊那得生两次吧to you too, Helen. 你也是海伦- Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. - Okay, send her in. -妮娜·布克宾德来访 -好让她进来-Nina. Come on in. -You wanted to see me? -妮娜快进来 -你想见我I was reviewing your data. 我刚在复查你的数据You've been postdating your Friday numbers. 你一直推迟周五数据的日期Which is bad, because...? 这样很不好因为...lt throws my WENUS out of whack. 这样使我的"周净计"出现问题- Excuse me? - WENUS. -你说什么 -"周净计"Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics. 每周估计净值使用统计Gotcha! Won't happen again. 明白了不会再犯了I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your... "wenus." 我绝不会再让你的"周净计"出现问题It's not just that she's cute, okay It's just that... 这不是她漂不漂亮的问题只是......she's really, really cute. 她真的很漂亮It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink. 那也一样兔子不吃窝边草Ross, your little creature's got the remote again. 罗斯你的小动物又在玩遥控器Marcel, give Rossy the remote. 马赛尔把遥控器给罗斯Marcel! 马塞尔Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now! 马塞尔现在马上把遥控器给罗斯You give Rossy the remote 把遥控器给罗斯- Great. - Relax. I'll fix it. -这下好了 -放心我会修好的Oh, cool! Urkel in Spanish is Urkel. 乌克这个名字在西班牙文中叫"乌克"How did he do this? 他是怎么办到的So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up 我问一句圣诞彩灯还亮着part of your plan to keep us merry all year long? 是想让我们"快乐"一整年吗No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's... 不某人在新年期间就应该把它摘下but obviously someone forgot. 但她显然是忘了Someone was supposed to write, 某人应该写个字条"Rach, take down the lights"... "瑞秋摘下圣诞灯"...and put it on the refrigera 然后贴在冰...How long has that been there? 它在这儿多久了- Where you been? - I went back to Riff's. -你上哪儿去了 -瑞菲餐厅I think Ursula likes me. I ordered coffee. 我想厄休拉喜欢我我只点咖啡She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries. 她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片Score. 有门了She is so hot! 她好辣Before you do anything Joey-like, 在你展开乔伊"招牌攻势"前you might want to run it by.... 或许你要征求某人的同意- Pheebs? - Yeah. -菲比 -说吧Is it okay if I asked out your sister? 我约你姐出去你会介意吗Why? Why would you want to do that? Why? 为什么你为何要那样做为什么So if we went out on a date, she'd be there. 这样我跟她去约会时她就会在我身边Well, I'm not my sister's, you know, whatever. 好吧反正我也管不了她And I mean, it's true, we were one egg once. 没错我们曾来自同一枚卵子But you know, we've grown apart so.... 但我们渐行渐远所以I don't know. Why not? 我不知道...有何不可Cool. Thanks. 酷谢啦- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. -你还好吧 -还好Do you wanna watch Laverney Shirley? 你想看《拉乌妮和舍丽》吗Do you wanna watch Laverney Shirley? 八十年代美国情景喜剧Sorry. 抱歉Hi. Sorry I'm late. Where's Carol? 抱歉我迟到了卡罗尔在哪儿Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. 学校有事她得见见家长You can go. I'll get the information. 你可以走了我留下来上课No, I think I should stay. 不...我应该留下来We should both know what's going on. 我们两个都该留下来上课Oh, good. This will be fun. 很好一定会很有意思的We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises.首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习Moms, get on your back. 各位妈妈请躺下And coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head. 陪护们支撑妈妈们的头- What? - What? -怎么 -怎么I'm supposed to be the mommy? 我该当妈妈吗I'll play my sperm card once more. 好吧我再拿精子说一次事Look, I don’t see 听着我认为why I should have to miss out on the coaching training 我不能错过这次陪护训练just because I'm a woman. 就因为我是个女人-I see. So, what do we do? - I'll flip you for it. -了解你说该怎么办 -掷硬币Flip me for it? No, no. Heads! 掷铜板吗不不不...我选头...On your back, Mom! 躺下吧妈妈All right,mommies, take a nice deep, cleansing breath. 各位妈妈们请深呼吸净化身心Good. 很好Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower. 现在请想像你的阴道像花一样绽放- Mr. D! How's it going, sir? - It's been better. -迪先生如何 -好多了The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. 年度净值已经算出来了-And? - It's pretty ugly. -然后呢 -奇惨无此We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s. 70年代之后没见过这么惨的"年净" - What does this mean? - We'll be laying off people in every department. -这代表什么 -每个部门都得裁员Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, 听我解释我知道我上星期迟到了but I slept funny, and my hair was very very... 但我那天睡姿不良头发奇丑无比Not you. Relax. 不是你放松Ever have to fire anyone? 曾经不得不开除某人吗Nina! 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Are you okay? 你没事吧Yes. Yes, I am. 是的我没事Listen, the reason that I called you in here today was.... 听着我今天叫你进来是因为... Please don't hate me. 请别恨我What? 怎么了Would you like to have dinner sometime? 能约你共进晚餐吗So, Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday? 菲比你想要什么生日礼物What I want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. 我想要我妈复活和我共享人生Okay. Let me put it this way. 好吧这样吧Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 想不想要瑰珀翠的产品Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 英国彩妆护肤品牌- Bath salts would be nice! - Okay! Good. -我想要浴盐 -好的What is this place? 这是什么地方Look, you’re cold, I have to pee, and... 你很冷我想尿尿而且...there’s a cup of coffee on the window. 窗上还印着杯咖啡How bad could it be? 还有比这更糟的吗I think we have an answer. 我想我们有答案了Why is she here? 她怎么会在这儿This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.也许这就是老天爷叫我们回家吃饭的方法Think Riff's fired her? 她被瑞菲餐厅开除了吗No, we were there last night. 不昨晚我们还在那吃饭She kept... bringing swordfish. 她不断端来剑鱼Are you gonna go to the...? 你不是要去...No, I'll wait till we order. 不点完之后再去- It's her. - lt looks like her. -是她吧 -看起来像- Excuse me? - Yeah. -打扰一下 -什么事Hi, it's us! 是我们啊Right. And it's me! 好呀是我- So you're here too? - As much as you are. -你也在这儿 -和你们一样Your turn. 该你了- We know what we want. - That's good. -我们知道我们要什么 -很好- Two caffe lattes. - And some biscotti. -我们要两杯拿铁 -还有意大利脆饼Good choice. 不错的选择- It's definitely her. - Yeah. -绝对是她 -没错I can't believe you haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job. 我真不敢相信你还没告诉她她失业了You haven't taken down the Christmas lights. 你还没把圣诞灯拿下来Congratulations! You've found the world's thinnest argument. 恭喜你发现了世上最薄弱的论点I'm finding the right moment. 我只是在寻找适当的时机That shouldn't be so hard now that you're dating. 应该不会太难找到因为你们已开始约会"Honey, you're fired. "亲爱的你被开除了"But how about a quickie before I go to work?" "我上班前何不来个"速战速决""Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore. 进门后就不用再敲门了I'll get it. 我来开- Hi, Mr. Heckles. - You're doing it again. -哈克斯先生 -你们又来了We're not doing anything. We're sitting and talking... 我们什么都没做我们只是坐在这聊天...quietly. ...一声不吭I can hear you through the ceiling. 我可以透过天花板听见My cats can't sleep. 我的猫睡不着- You don't even have cats. - I could have cats. -你根本没养猫 -我原本有机会养- Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. - We'll try to keep it down. -再见哈克斯先生 -我们会尽量小声的Phoebe, do me a favor. Try this on. 菲比帮个忙试穿看看I want to make sure it fits. 我想知道合不合身My first birthday present! This is really 我的第一件生日礼物这衣服真...No, no, it's for Ursula. I just figured size-wise.... 不是送厄休拉的我只是想知道尺寸Sure. Yeah. Okay, it fits. 好呀合身Are you seeing her again tonight? 你今晚又和她约会吗Yep, lce Capades. 对去看白雪溜冰团This is serious. 这回你是来真的I've never known you to pay for any kind of "capade." 没想到你会花钱去看什么溜冰表演I don't know. I like her. 我不知道我喜欢她She's different. There's something about her 她与众不同她有种特质That you like. We get it. You like her. Great! 招你喜欢我们懂你喜欢她太好了Phoebe, I asked you. You said it was okay. 菲比我问过你而你也同意了Maybe now it's not okay. 也许现在不同意了Okay. Maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. 也许我对于你的不同意也不同意了Okay! 好吧Knit, good woman, knit! 快织好女人快织And that's the Chrysler Building right there. 克莱斯勒大楼就在那儿- Nina! - Mr. Douglas. Cool tie. -妮娜 -道格拉斯先生领带不错She's still here. 她还在这里Yes. Yes, she is. Didn't I memo you on this? 没错她还在我没有提醒你吗After I let her go, I got a call from her psychiatrist, 我开除她后接到她心理医生的电话Dr. Flennan Dr. Flennan Dr. Flynn. 佛...佛...佛林大夫And he informed me that she took the news rather badly. 他告诉我她一时无法接受这个事实In fact, he mentioned the word "frenzy." 老实说他提到"狂暴"这个词You're kidding! She seems so 开什么玩笑她明明看起来...No. Nina? She's 不妮娜她...In fact, if you asked her now... 事实上如果你现在问她...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all. 她根本记不得被开除这件事- That's unbelievable. - And yet believable. -难以置信 -你不得不信So I decided not to fire her again 因此我决定不再开除她until she'll be no threat to herself or others. 直到她对自己和他人不构成威胁为止I guess you never know what's going on inside a person's head.看来人们永远无法了解他人心中所想Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir. 我想这就是"心理学"名字的由来先生The sound Mom and Dad will never forget. 爸妈永远忘不了这声音For this, after all, is the miracle of birth. 这一切说到底是生产的奇迹Lights, please. And that's having a baby. 请开灯这一集是生宝宝Next week is our final class. 下周是我们的最后一堂课Susan, go deep. 苏珊准备接球- It's just impossible. - What is, honey? -这太离谱了... -怎么了亲爱的What that woman did. 那个女人的所作所为I am not doing that. It'll just have to stay in. 我不会这么做的他得留在我体内Everything will be the same. It'll just stay in. 一切和原来一样他得留在我体内Carol, honey, it'll be all right. 卡罗尔亲爱的不会有事的What do you know? 你知道什么No one's asking you, 又没人问你,"Mind if we push this pot roast through your nostril?" "我能将这肉块穿过你的鼻孔吗" Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath. 卡罗尔亲爱的深呼吸I know it's frightening. But big picture: 我知道你很惶恐往长远想The birth part is just one day. 生产过程只是一天When it's over, we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives. 结束后我们这辈子都是他的父母了I mean, that's what this is all about, right? Ross? 怀胎生子为的不就是这些吗罗斯Ross? 罗斯I'm gonna be a father. 我要当爸爸了- This is news to you? - I knew I was having a baby. -你才刚知道 -我一直都知道要有孩子了I just never realized the baby was having me. 只是没意识到要担起父亲的责任- You'll be great. - How can you say that? -你会是个好爸爸的 -你怎会知道I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat. 我连阻止马塞尔吃浴垫都办不到- How will I raise a kid? - Some scientists are now saying... -我如何抚养孩子 -罗斯科学家说...that monkeys and babies are actually different. 孩子和猴子是不一样的- Where you going? - Out. -你去哪里 -外面With...? 和谁Yes. 是的Can I just ask you one question? 能问你一个问题吗Have you two, you know, like, you know? 你们有没有...你明白的就是那啥You know, yet? 你知道的对吧Not that it's any of your business, but no, we haven't. 不关你的事但是还没有行了吗You meant sex, right? 你是指性吧对吧- Do you have a sec? - Sure. Nina. What's up? -有空吗 -当然妮娜什么事I don't know.The past few days, people have been avoiding me 我不知道最近几天大家怎么都避开我and giving me these really strange looks. 还怪怪地看我Well, maybe that's because they're jealous of us. 或许是因为他们在嫉妒我们Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors. 或许吧但他们为何拿走我的剪刀Maybe that's because you're getting a big raise! 或许是因为你被升职的缘故- I am? - Sure. Why not? -我升职了 -当然为什么不呢Oh, my God! You're amazing! 天啊你真是太了不起了You don't know. 那你可不知道Helen, could you make sure 海伦能尽快办好we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise? 布克宾得小姐升职的手续吗You still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?你还要我拿她的心理状况档案到人事部吗- What? - Helen drinks. -她说什么 -海伦喝醉了Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗I end up told her everything. 最后我把一切都告诉她了How'd she take it? 她的反应如何Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. 还不错除了拿钉书机钉我之外A tip. If you're ever in a similar situation... 提示一下以后遇见类似的状况... never, ever leave your hand on the desk. 切记别把手放在桌上Okay, I think I get how to do this. 我知道该怎么调这个了Can we turn it off? 我们能把这关掉吗Make them go away because I can't watch. 让这个画面消失我实在看不下去Okay, Pheebs, they're gone. 好了菲比现在没有了Are you all right? 你还好吧It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing. 还不是厄休拉惹的祸Pheebs, can I ask? 菲比我冒昧问下...So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 他和她约会真有那么糟吗Yeah. 是的I'm not saying she's evil or anything. 我不是说她很坏还是怎样She's just always breaking my stuff. 她总是弄坏我的东西When I was 8, and I wouldn’t let her have my Judy Jetson thermo s,我8岁时不肯让她玩我的卡通水杯so she threw it under the bus. 她把它扔到公车下And then there's Randy Brown, who was like 然后还有个蓝迪·布朗就像Have you ever had a boyfriend who was your best friend?你们有没有异性好友变成男友的情况That's what he was for me. 我当时的状况就是如此And she kind of stole him away and then broke his heart. 她把他抢走又伤了他的心Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. 他从此不和我说话He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us.因为他说他不愿再见像她的人I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my thermos... 我知道乔伊不是我男朋友或者水杯...or anything, but 或其他的什么但是- You won't lose him. - You gotta talk to Joey. -你不会失去他的 -你得找乔伊谈谈-Yeah. - Come on, he didn't know these staff. -说得轻巧 -别这样他又不知道这些- lf he knew how you felt - But he's falling in love with her. -如果他知道你的感受 -但他爱上她了Please. They've been going out a week. 拜托他们才约会一个星期They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious. 根本还没上床关系还没确定下来Okay. Okay. 好吧好吧May we help you? 需要帮忙吗May we help you? 未完待续Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing. Would you come inside? 瑞秋你在干什么这么冷的天赶紧进来No, no, no. 不不不You wanted me to take them down... 你让我把它们摘下来...so I'm taking them down, okay? 那我就把它们摘下来Rachel! Rachel! 瑞秋瑞秋I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事我没事Mr. Heckles? 哈克斯先生Mr. Heckles, could you help me, please? 哈克斯先生能帮我一下吗See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about. 看吧我说过楼上就是这么吵第一季第十六集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。

老友记第一季中英文字幕第一集（开场场景：中央咖啡馆）莫妮卡（Monica）：你们知道吗，我昨天晚上梦到我们都六十岁了。

罗斯（Ross）：这个怎么可能？我到时候已经去世好多年了。

莫妮卡：我们活得好开心，我们在一个海滩度假，还和我们的孙子孙女一起。

菲比（Phoebe）：不过，我们如何在那个年纪还能有机会生孩子呢？莫妮卡：嗯，你说的有道理。

罗斯：真希望有个安宁的晚年。

Episode 1Opening Scene: Central Perk CaféMonica: You know what, I dreamt last night that we wereall sixty years old.Ross: That’s impossible. By then, I’ll have been dead for many years.Monica: We were living happily, on a beach vacation with our grandkids.Phoebe: But how did we manage to have kids at that age?Monica: Well, you have a point.Ross: I wish for a peaceful old age.本剧是一部美国情景喜剧，由大卫·克朗斯、马塞尔·博尔和凯文·布莱特创作。

剧情围绕着六位好友乔伊、钱德勒、罗斯、莫妮卡、瑞秋和菲比展开。

故事发生在纽约市曼哈顿的中央咖啡馆和他们的公寓中。

这一季共有24集，每集大约为22分钟。

以下将为您带来第一季每集的中英文字幕：This TV show is an American sitcom created by David Crane, Marta Kauffman, and Kevin Bright. The story revolves around six best friends - Joey, Chandler, Ross, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe. It takes place in the Central Perk Café and their apartments in Manhattan, New York City.The first season consists of 24 episodes, each with a duration of approximately 22 minutes. Below are the Chinese and English subtitles for each episode of the first season:第二集（中央咖啡馆）罗斯: 你知道吗，有一天你会发现那个人就在那里一直陪伴着你。

- Coffee. - Thank you. -咖啡 -谢谢- Cappuccino. - Grazie. -卡布其诺 -谢谢[意大利语]And a nice, hot cider for Monica. 这杯美味的热苹果汁是莫妮卡的Thank you. 谢谢Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? 瑞秋为何我的肉桂棒上有橡皮擦That's why. 原来是这样Sorry. 对不起Chandler? 钱德勒Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today. 泰洛克小姐你今天真漂亮May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. 我能说你这袖口长度真显身材吗Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today.科斯特力克先生希望你下班后到他办公室去If it's about those prank memos, 如果他是为搞笑备忘录的事I had nothing to do with them, really. 那绝不是我干的真的Hey, you guys! 各位,Chandler's coming and he has incredible news. 钱德勒马上来他说有天大的好消息So when he gets here, let's all act, like, you know 所以他来的时候我们就......Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. 不管了这一定是很好的消息What's going on? 到底怎么了...So it's a typical day at work... 今天和平常没什么两样...and Big Al calls me into his office 然后艾尔叫我到他办公室and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. 说他要我当处理主管- That is great! - Congratulations! -真是太好了 -恭喜...So I quit. 所以我就辞职了Why? 为什么Why? This was a temp job. 为什么因为这只是暂时的工作Chandler,you've been there for five years. 钱德勒你已在公司五年了I know, but if I took it, 我知道但接受升职I'd be admitting that this is what I do. 不就代表承认这就是我的职业Was it a lot more money? 那不是能赚更多钱Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be 我不在乎我不想成为a guy who sits in his office until 12'o clock in the night... 在办公室坐到午夜...worrying about the WENUS. 担心"周净计"的那种人The "WENUS"? "周净计"是啥Weekly estimated net usage system. "每周估计净值使用统计系统"It's a processing term. 这是处理用术语Oh, that WENUS. 这么回事啊What will you do? 你有何打算I don't know, that's the thing I don't know what I want to do. 我不知道问题就在于我不知道想做什么I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.我只知道我在那工作下去就永远想不明白I have something you can do! 我这有份活给你I have this new massage client, Steve. 我的新按摩客户史提夫Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant... 不多说了他开了一家餐厅...and he's looking for a head chef. 他正在寻找主厨- Hi, there. -Hi. -你好 -你好.I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. 我知道你是个厨师而且我先想到你But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so.... 但钱德勒目前没有工作所以...I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience. 我没有太多厨师的经验Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. 除非那是家只卖吐司的餐厅What kind of food is he looking for? 他想要什么菜色He wants to do something eclectic. 他想要菜色丰富多变He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu.因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人- Oh my God! - I know! -天啊 -很棒吧So, what do you think? 所以你意下如何Thanks. Pheebs. 谢了菲比- I just don't see myself in a big, white hat. -Ok. -我觉得自己不适合戴白色厨师帽 -好吧Oh, Monica! Guess what? 莫妮卡你猜怎么着Can you see my nipples through this shirt? 你们能透过衬衫看见我的乳头吗No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there. 看不见但别担心它们肯定还在Where are you going? Mr. suity man 你要上哪儿去西装笔挺先生I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman, 我和罗伯·提曼博士有约career counselor-a-go-go! 求职顾问阿哥哥- I added the "a-go-go." - Career counselor? -阿哥哥是我加的 -求职顾问You guys all know what you want to do. 你们都已找到人生的方向I don't. 还没You guys in the living room all know what you want to do.在客厅里的各位全都已找到人生的方向You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! 你们有目标有梦想我却没有梦想You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream!以马丁·路德金的"我有一个梦想"演讲作讽The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech. 少见的"我没有一个梦想"演说I love my life! I love my life! 我爱我的人生我爱我的人生"Brian's Song"! 布莱恩的歌- The meeting went great? - So great! -见面的结果如何 -相当顺利He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. 他告诉我未来餐厅的位置It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. 就在第十街上有个温馨的小店面Not too big, not too small. Just right. 不太大也不太小大小适中Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? 前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗I'm cooking for him Monday night, kind of an audition. 周一晚我要煮一餐让他品尝算是面试Phoebe, he wants you here. 菲比他也要你在场It's great for me. You can make yummy noises. 这样对我有好处因为你可以装作吃得很香- What are you gonna make? - Yummy noises. -你打算做什么 -吃得很香And Monica, what are you gonna make? 那莫妮卡你要做什么菜I don't know. It's gotta so be great. 我也不知道但一定会很棒的I know what you can make! I know! 我知道你可以做什么了我知道You should make that thing with the stuff. 你应该用那些东西做这个You know that thing with the stuff? 你知道用那些东西做的这个Okay, I don't know. 好吧我也不知道Guys. Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? 各位谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. 东尼餐厅如何吃下一公斤牛排就免费Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?有谁知道哪家不用带美洲豹过去的好餐厅- Who are you going out with? - Is this the bug lady? -你要和谁约会 -是昆虫女吗"I love you, Ross." "我爱你罗斯"Her name is Celia she's not a bug lady 她叫希莉亚不是昆虫女and she's curator of insect at the museum. 她是博物馆的昆虫部主任- What are you gonna do? - Go out to dinner... -你们打算做些什么 -出去吃晚餐...then bring her back to my place 然后带她回我的住处and introduce her to my monkey. 带她看看我的猴子And he's not speaking metaphorically. 他这不是在打比方So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... 回你的住处啊你有没有想...Well, I don't know.... 我不知道你啥意思I'm hoping.... 我希望...I'm telling you. That monkey is a chick magnet. 告诉你那猴子是魅力十足She'll take one look at his cute, little face 她一旦看见它可爱的小脸and it'll seal the deal. 然后一切就搞定Celia, don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! 希莉亚别担心它不会伤害你的Soothing tones. 用安抚的语调- Here, Marcel. - I can't stand this. -过来马赛尔 -我受不了了- He's got his claws on my - Yeah, all right. -它的爪子在我的 -好了乖..Okay, try this salmon mousse. 试试这鲑鱼慕斯Good. 好吃Is it better than the other salmon mousse? 比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃吗- It's creamier. -Yeah? Well, is that better? -更滑更柔 -是吗这样更好吗I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish. 我不知道这是条搅成泡沫的鱼I'm just happy I'm keeping it down. 我能不吐出来就已经不错了God, what happened to you? 天啊你怎么了Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8个半小时的天资测验...intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? 智力测验个性测验我了解了什么"You're suited for data processing "你适合在大型跨国公司for a large multinational corporation." "数据处理部门方面发展"That's so great! You already know how to do that. 这太好了因为你已知道该如何做Can you believe it? 你们能相信吗Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? 我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗I just always pictured myself doing something.... 我总是想像自己能做点事情Something! 了不得的事情Chandler, I know, I know. 钱德勒我知道Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt. 原来透过这件衬衫能看到你的乳头啊Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up. 给这个或许能让你开心点I had a grape about five hours ago, 5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄so I better split this with you. 所以我最好和你平分吃It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer. 它本来就应该那么小这是餐前开胃菜The French call it an amuse-bouche. 法国人称它为"阿姆兹布许"Well, it is amusing. 这简直是太神奇了Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00. 温蒂对八点What did we say, $10 an hour? 我们不是说过吗每小时十块Okay, great. All right, I'll see you then. 很好再见了$10 an hour for what? 什么每小时十块I ask one of the waitress from work, she's helping me. 我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙Waitressing? 服务生Of course I thought of you. But.... 当然我考虑过你但...- But.... - But, but.... -但是... -但是什么But it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? 但是今晚一定要做到完美你知道吗Wendy's more of a professional waitress. 温蒂的经验丰富是个职业服务生And I'm maintaining my amateur status 我应该继续保持业余的姿态so I can waitress in the Olympics. 将来才能在奥运会上当服务生I don't mean to brag, 我不想自吹自擂I don't mean to brag, 该年冬奥会在因斯布鲁克召开but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. 但我1976年在因斯布鲁克当过服务生Amuse-bouche? 来点阿姆兹布许Talk to me. 和我说话A weird thing happened on the train this morning 早上我坐地铁时发生了一件怪事Talk dirty. 说下流话- Here? - Come on. Come on. -在这里 -对来吧Say something hot. 说点火辣的What? What? 什么什么Vulva. 外阴Vulva? 外阴I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. 我当时好害怕她吓了我一跳But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling. 但也不算一败涂地我们以爱抚收场You cuddled? How many times? 爱抚了啊几次Shut up. It was nice. 闭嘴感觉还不错I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. 我只是不是那种讲下流话的人What's the big deal? Just say what you wanna do to her. 有什么啊你只要说出你想对她如何Or what you want her to do to you. 或是你想她对你如何Or what other people might be doing to each other. 或是别人想对彼此如何I'll tell you what. Try something on me. 这样吧对我说两句试试Please be kidding. 你是在开玩笑对吧Why not? 有何不可Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. 只要闭上眼睛告诉我现在你想干什么Ok, I'm in my apartment.... 好吧...我在我的住处- Yeah, what else? - You're not there. -然后呢 -你不在那里.- We're not having this conversation. - All right, I'll start. -我们没有这次谈话 -好吧那我先来- Joey, please... - Come on, ready, look. -乔伊别这样 -来嘛准备好Oh, Ross... 罗斯...you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. 你让我欲火焚身我要你马上舔我- Now you say something. - I really don't think so. -该你了 -我看还是算了吧- You like this woman, right? - Yeah. -你喜欢她对吧 -对- You wanna see her again, right? - Sure. -想再见到她对吗 -当然If you can't talk dirty to me, 如果你对我都说不出下流话how will you talk dirty to her? 你如何对她说呢Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! 现在告诉我你想爱抚我的屁股Okay, turn around. 好吧转过去I don't want you staring at me while I'm doing this. 我说话时不想你盯着我看All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead. 好吧我不看说吧I want Okay, I want... 我要......to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips. 用我的双唇感觉你那火热光滑的皮肤There you go. Keep going, keep going. 这就对了继续I want to take my tongue and 我要用我的舌头...Say it. 快说啊Say it! 快说run it all over your body... 舔遍你的全身... until you're trembling with 直到你颤抖...With? 然后呢- Funny story. - You're not gonna believe this. -说来好笑 -你不会相信的It's Ok, I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. 没事我一向赞成你们两个小子交往Chandler, while you were sleeping, 钱德勒你睡觉时that guy from your old job called again. 以前的公司又打电话来- Again? - And again and again and again. -又打来 -一遍又一遍Hello. And again. 喂又打来了Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? 嘿科斯特林克先生 15楼的情况如何Yeah, I miss you too. 我也想念你.Yeah. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. 对偷自己家里的笔不够刺激That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. 你真慷慨但这不是钱的问题I need something more than a job. 我需要的不只是一份工作I need something I really care about 我要的是我真正想要的That's on top of the year-end bonus you metioned earlier?这津贴不包含在你稍早提过的年终红利里Your dream! 你的梦想...Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? 听着艾尔我不是在故意为难你This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! 这不是交涉这叫拒绝No, no, no Stop saying numbers! 不不不别再讲数字了I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! 告诉你你看错人了你看错人了I'll see you Monday! 星期一见Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. 好大比小格子大多了This is a cube! 这是一个格间Look at this. 看这里You have a window! 你有窗户Yes, indeed-y. With a beautiful view of 没错还有美丽的风景...Look! That guy's peeing! 看有人在小便That's enough of the view. Check this out. 风景看够了看这个Okay, sit down here. 坐下This is great. 这个最酷,- You ready? - Yeah. -准备好没 -好了Helen, could you come in here? 海伦能进来一下吗Thank you, Helen. That'll be all. 谢谢你海伦没事了Last time I do that. I promise. 最后一次了我保证Wendy, We had a deal. 温蒂我们约好的Yeah, you promised. 你答应过我Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! 温蒂温蒂温蒂- Who was that? - Wendy bailed. -那是谁 -叛徒温蒂I have no waitress. 我没服务生了That's too bad. Bye-bye. 真是太糟糕了再见Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! 一小时十元一小时十二元Mon, I wish I could, 莫妮卡我也希望能帮你but I've made plans to walk around. 但我已经计划好去走走Rachel. When you ran out on your wedding, I was there for you. 瑞秋你逃婚之后是我一直在支持你I put a roof over your head! 我让你有地方住If that means nothing to you.... 如果这样对你仍毫无意义...Twenty dollars an hour. 一小时二十元Done. 成交Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? 欢迎光临莫妮卡家我能帮您拿外套吗- Hi, Steve. - Hello, Monica. -嗨史提夫 -嗨莫妮卡Hello, greeter girl. 你好招待小姐- This is Rachel. - Yeah, okay. -她叫瑞秋 -好吧随便Everything smells so delicious. 味道好香I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of我已忘记上次闻到这种美味的混合物是...Okay, smells. 好吧香味- It's a lovely apartment. - Thank you. Would you like a tour? -这房子真漂亮 -谢谢想参观一下吗I was just being polite, but all right. 我只是客套一下但好吧- What's up? - In the cab on the way over... -怎么了 -坐计程车来时...Steve blazed up a doobie. 史提夫抽了一根大麻烟What? 什么- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. -抽了一根大麻之类的... -好了我懂- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok.电影《大麻双人组》中主角之一I'm with you, Cheech. 我跟你统一战线切奇Is it dry in here? 这里很干燥吗Let me get you some wine. 我来为您倒杯酒I think we're ready for our first course too. 我们可以上第一道菜了These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... 这些是石虾小方饺蘸芫萎调味酱...with just a touch of minced... 加上一点点......ginger. 碎姜Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! 打我屁股叫我朱蒂吧- These are fantastic! - Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them. -真是太好吃了 -我真高兴你喜欢Like them? I could eat 100 of them! 喜欢吗我可以吃下上百个That's all there is of these... 只有这一些...but in a few minutes, we'll serve some delicious onion tartlets.但再过8分半就有美味的洋葱馅饼吃"Tartlets?" "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼..."Word has lost all meaning. 文字都已失去意义Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? 请问需要任何帮忙吗You know, I don't know what I'm looking for. 你看我也不知道自己在找什么Cool! Taco shells! 酷墨西哥馅饼They're like a little corn envelope, you know? 这个就像是玉米卷饼一样你懂吗- You don't wanna spoil your appetite. - Hey, Sugar-O's! -你不该影响食欲 -糖片You know, if you just wait another 6 1/2 minutes 你知道吗再等6分钟半Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! 干酪通心面我们要做这个- No, we don't. - Oh, okay. -不我们不做 -哦好吧Sorry. 抱歉Why don't you just have a seat here? 我们何不坐这儿- Give me the gummy bears. - No. -小熊软糖给我 -不- Give them to me. - We'll share. -把它们给我 -好吧分你一半- No. Give me the bears. - Then you can't have any. -不小熊给我 -那就一点不分你- Give them to me! - It's not worth it! -把他们给我 -这样不值得Bears overboard! They're drowning! 小熊落水了他们快淹死了Hey, fellas, grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! 伙计们抓住糖片逃命啊Help! Help, I'm drowning! 救命啊....我溺水了- That's it! Dinner is over! - What! Why? -我受够了晚餐结束 -什么为什么Why? 为什么I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... 这种机会我已等了七年...and you can't wait 4 1/2 minutes for a stupid tartlet?而你却等不了四分半钟之后再吃洋葱馅饼You don't wanna work for that guy like that. 你不会想为那种人工作的I know, I just thought that this was it. 我知道我只是以为我的机会来了You get it. You're an amazing chef. 不要担心你是个了不起的厨师Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. 那些赞美的声音我不是装的So, how did it go with Celia? 和希莉亚的状况如何- I was unbelievable. - All right, Ross! -简直是不可思议 -干得好罗斯I was the James Michener of dirty talk. 我是讲下流话的行家It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. 那简直是天下最具巧思的下流话I mean, there were characters, plot lines, 有人物主线themes, a motif. 剧情主题At one point, there were villagers. 其中一段连村民都冒出来了And? 然后呢By the time we finished all the dirty talk it was kind of late 下流话讲完后已经有点晚了and we were kind of exhausted, so... 而且我们也有点没劲了所以- You cuddled. - Yeah, which was nice. -你们爱抚 -那种感觉好好Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? 你们想看晚场电影吗Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler? 或许吧但我们不是该等钱德勒吗Where the hell is he? 他到底跑哪儿去了Yes, friends, I know what time it is... 对朋友我知道现在几点...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! 但我看着"周净计" 它让我相当不高兴Let me tell you something. 我跟你讲清楚You will care about it because I care about it. 你会在乎的因为我在乎Got it? Good! 明白了吗很好How's this? 这样如何Sorry. How about over here? 不好意思这边呢That means it's working. 这就说明有效果了.- Does this hurt? - No. -痛不痛 -不痛.How about this? 这样呢There you go! 这就对了I'm gonna throw up! 我快吐了!第一季第十五集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。

Hi, guys!Hey, Pheebs! Hi!Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said'We should do this again!'What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again'means 'You will never see me naked'.Since when?Since always. It's like dating language.Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.Or 'You're such a nice guy' means'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholicsand complaining about them to youOr, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.- And everybody knows this? - Yeah. Cushions the blow. Yeah, it's like when you're a kid,and your parents put your dog to sleep,and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.That's funny, that, no, because,uh, our parents actually did, uh,send our dog off to live on a farm.Uh, Ross.What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut?The Millners,they had this unbelievable farm,and horses, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- ..... Oh, my God, Chi Chi!"So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?" "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over.But you'll have to live with the knowledge thatyou sent an honest man to die."Hey, that was really good!Yeah? Thanks! Let's keep going.Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?""I just wanna go back to my cell.'Cause in my cell, I can smoke.""Smoke away."I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.- What? - Relax your hand! Let your wrist go.Not so much!Alright, now try taking a puff.Okay.Okay. No. Give it to me.No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.It's fine, it's fine.Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.All right, now.Don't think of it as a cigarette.Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.- Y'miss it? - Nah, not so much.Alright, now we smoke.Oh..my..God.No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distancefrom the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger. That's ridiculous!Can I use.. either thumb?Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me!Decaf cappucino for Joey..Coffee black..Late..and an iced tea.- I'm getting pretty good at this! - Yeah. Yeah, excellent. Good for me!Y'okay, Phoebe?Yeah no- I'm just- it's, it's not even worth...It's my bank.What did they do to you?It's nothing, it's just- Okay.I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly,you know, STATEMENT-Easy, easy...and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.Oh, Satan's minions at work again...Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. What are you talking about? Keep it!It's not mine, I didn't earn it,if I kept it, it would be like stealing.Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took?'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.'And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping-I'd hear'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'... We're with you. We got it.Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it.It would be like this giant karmic debt.Chandler, what're you doing?hey,what are you doing?Oh! Oh, God!What is this?!I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.Oh, I can't believe you!You've been so good, for three years!And this- is my reward!Hold on a second, alright?Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. Okay, so this time I won't quit!Ohhh! Put it out!All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out.Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.So is it Alan again? How's it goin'?'S'going pretty good, y'know?It's nice, and, we're having fun.So when do we get to meet the guy?Yeah!Let's see, today's Monday...Never.Oh, come on! Come on!-No. Not after what happened with Steve.What are you talking about? We love Schhteve!Schhteve was schhexy!..Sorry.Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet.Just give me a chance to figure that out.Well, then can we meet him?I mean, why should I let them meet him?I mean, I bring a guy home,and within five minutes they're all over him.I mean, they're like- coyotes,picking off the weak members of the herd.Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing.Come on now, they're your friends,- they're just looking out after you. - I know.I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy homethat they actually liked.Well, you do realise that the odds of that happening are a little slimmer - if they never get to meet the guy.Let it go, Ross.Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.Do you all promise?Yeah! We promise!We'll be good!Chandler? Do you promise to be good?You can come in,but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!Hey, Pheebs.'Dear Ms. Buffay.Thank you for calling attention to our error.We have credited your account with five hundred dollars.We're sorry for the inconvenience,and hope you'll accept this football phone...as our free gift.'Do you believe this?!Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!What bank is this?Hey. It's him.- Who is it? - It's Alan.Chandler! He's here!Okay, please be good, please.Just remember how much you all like me.Hi. Alan, this is everybody.Everybody, this is Alan.Hi, Alan.I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow.Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin.Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?C'mon!...I'll go.Let's start with the way he kept picking at-You know, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do it.We loved him.Loved him! Yeah! He's great!Wait a minute! We're talking about someone thatI'm going out with?-Yeah!And did you notice...?Know what was great?The way his smile was kinda crooked.Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!...What shoe?From the nursery rhyme.'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'...So I think Alanwill become the yardstick against whichall future boyfriends will be measured.What future boyfriends?No, no, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.-Really!Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for hisDavid Hasselhof impression alone.You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? You know what I like most about him, though?What?The way he makes me feel about myself.How was the game?Well..WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!That's fantastic! I have one question:How is that possible?Alan.He was unbelievable.He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoonwhere Bugs is playing all the positions, right,but instead of Bugs it wasfirst base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellersa thing or two about softball..Nice!Can I ask you guys a question?D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. What?...I dunno, a little too Alan?Well, no. That's impossible.You can never be too Alan.Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.I personally could have a gallon of Alan.- Hey, Lizzie. - Hey, Weird Girl.I brought you alphabet soup.Did you pick out the vowels?Yes. But I left in the Ys.'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y".Uh, I also have something else for you.Saltines?No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? What? Oh, my God, Oh, my God, there's really money in here.I know.Weird Girl, what are you doing?No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.No, that's fine, you don't..Would you like my tin-foil hat?No. 'Cause you need that.No, it's okay, thanks.Please, let me do something.Okay, alright, I'll tell you what,you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?- Okay. - Okay.Keep the change.Thanks, Lizzie.Sure you don't wanna pretzel?- No, I'm fine.Thanks. - See ya.A thumb?!I know! I know,I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there,like this tiny little hitch-hiker!like this tiny little hitch-hiker!Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know?Like, collect all five?- Does, um, anyone wanna see? - Nooo!- Oh, hey, don't do that! - Cut it out!It's worse than the thumb!Hey, this is so unfair!Oh, why is it unfair?So I have a flaw! Big deal?Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs?I mean, what the hell is that thing?I accept all those flaws,why can't you accept me for this?...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody,Well, I-I could live without it.Well, is it, like, a little annoying,or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right?I think it's endearing.Oh, "you do, do you"?You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. "Indeed there isn't"...I should really get back to work.Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might getwhat they actually ordered.The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.Did you ever go out with a guyyour friends all really like?No.Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like. Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here?All right, a cow got through!Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing.I mean, they feel the thing,I don't feel the thing.Honey.. you should always "feel" the thing.Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy,Monica, dump him!I know.. it's gonna be really hard.Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.No, he'll be fine.It's the other five I'm worried about.Do you have any respect for your body?Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guysand your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it. Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.Really? He does?Hey, buddy, what's up!Oh, she told you about that, huh.Well, yeah, I have one now and then.Well, yeah, now.Well, it's not that big- ..Well, that's true,..Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks!God, he's good.- If only he were a woman. - Yeah.- If only he were a woman. - Yeah.Ooh, Lambchop.How old is that sock?If I had a sock on my hand for thirty yearsit'd be talking too.Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. Hey. Where's Joey?Joey ate my last stick of gum,so I killed him.Do you think that was wrong?- I think he's across the hall. - Thanks.There y'go.Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?Hey, I might!I'm sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave meseven thousand dollars for the thumb.- Oh, my God. - 7 thousand dollars?And on my way over here, I stepped in gum....What is up with the universe?!What's going on?Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..- Uh, Joey.. - Oh, God!- Okay.. - Oh! That was Lambchop!Please, guys, we have to talk.Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...No, I'm not.Alright, we have to talk.There it is!Okay. It's-it's about Alan.There's something that you should know.I mean, there's really no easy way to say this..I've decided to break up with Alan.Is there somebody else?No, nononono.. it's just..y'know, things change. People change.We didn't change..So that's it? It's over?Just like that?You know.. you let your guard down,you start to really care about someone, and I just- I-- Look, I- I could go on pretending. - Okay!No, but that wouldn't be fair to me,it wouldn't be fair to Alan.It wouldn't be fair to you!Yeah, who wants fair?I mean, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. I'm sorry..Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!I just can't believe this!I mean, with the holidays coming up-I wanted him to meet my family-I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.Oh, yeah! Right!Are you guys gonna be okay?Hey hey, we'll be fine.We're just gonna need a little time.I understand.I'm, I'm really sorry.Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry too.But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.Relieved?Yeah, well, I had a great time with you..I just can't stand your friends.Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.Yeah. He could row like a viking.So how'd it go?Oh, y'know..Did did he mention us?He said he's really gonna miss you guys.You had a rough day, huh?-Oh, you have no idea...C'mere.- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. - No no no!I don't care, I don't care!Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke!I've gotta have the smoke!If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars! Yeah, alright.第一季第三集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.。

老友记（六人行）剧情梗概之第一季101 试播瑞秋在教堂抛弃未婚夫巴利、逃婚到莫妮卡处。

莫妮卡和调酒师保罗约会，此君伪装成离婚后一蹶不振的苦命人，靠博取同情来骗女人上床。

罗斯婚姻失败，情绪低落。

乔伊安慰他说，女性的种类与冰激凌的品种一样多，离婚未尝不是好事。

大家一同看西班牙肥皂剧并信口瞎猜剧情。

罗斯自高中起即爱慕瑞秋，此刻死灰复燃，提议和她约会，瑞秋答应了。

102 参加助产训练班罗斯得知前妻(卡萝)有了身孕，于是同卡萝的同志伴侣苏珊一起，陪卡萝参加助产训练班。

对窗的丑陋裸男买了局部健身器。

罗斯和莫妮卡的父母来吃饭，莫妮卡再次感到巨大压力。

罗斯和瑞秋同病相怜。

瑞秋把戒指还给巴利, 还好，巴利并没有寻死觅活。

103 飞来横财罗斯终于发现真相：童年时的爱犬奇奇死掉了、而不是被送往农场养老，当年被父母善意的欺骗了。

钱德戒烟失败；众人皆不满，钱德将矛头指向各人的缺点，籍此转移了注意力。

菲比从银行得到一笔飞来横财；她去投诉，反而阴差阳错获得更多赔偿；她将钱悉数送人，对方报以一罐苏打水——开罐饮用时发现了一根拇指在里头。

饮料公司赔偿给她7000美金。

莫妮卡的新男友阿兰大受其余五人爱戴，但莫妮卡最终和他分手。

阿兰如释重负，因为莫妮卡的五个朋友太缠人啦。

104 （克林顿亲信助手）乔治·史特喷那彼拉斯先生又到了和前妻卡萝初次嘿咻的纪念日，罗斯心烦意乱，遂跟随钱德和乔伊去看曲棍球比赛，不料遭球击中。

在医院里，罗斯透露说卡萝是同他有过亲密关系的唯一女性。

钱德和乔伊同感不屑。

瑞秋的昔日闺中密友来访；见旁人春风得意，瑞秋不禁有些怨天尤人。

三位姑娘办了一场睡衣派对，菲比本想用魔豆的故事安慰瑞秋，却让三人都想到自己的人生没有明确的目标，情绪低迷；后来因为送错的披萨，她们发现了在街对面的迷人的史特喷那彼拉斯先生，顿时欢天喜地。

105 洗衣服钱德和菲比同一天晚上决定和自己的情人——分别是珍妮丝和唐尼分手。

菲比轻车熟路说了再见；钱德却开不了口。

Previously on "Friends"... 《老友记》前情提要- Excuse me, miss! - It's Phoebe! -嗨小姐 -是菲比Okay, will that be all? 你们就点这些吗They're twins. 她们是双胞胎Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot! 菲比是菲比厄休拉很火辣It's, it's for Ursula. 是送厄休拉的Sure. Yeah. Okay, it fits. 好呀合身Marcel, give Rossy the remote. 马赛尔把遥控器给罗斯How did he do this? 他是怎么办到的It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing. 还不是厄休拉惹的祸So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 他和她约会真有那么糟吗You don't know my sister. 你们不了解我姐姐You gotta talk to Joey. 你得找乔伊谈谈He's falling in love with her. 他爱上她了You won't lose him. 你不会失去他的They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious. 根本还没上床关系还没确定下来May we help you? 需要帮忙吗Rachel! Rachel! 瑞秋瑞秋I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事我没事Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, 我朋友在取下圣诞灯时and she fell off the balcony 从阳台跌下来and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something. 可能伤了脚踝或是哪里My god. You still have your Christmas lights up? 天啊你们的圣诞灯还亮着Fill this out and bring it back to me. 填好资料后拿给我Name, address. 姓名地址Okay, In case of emergency call? 紧急联络人You. 你Really? 真的Yeah. 对Oh, that is so sweet. 你真好Oh gosh, love you. 我爱你Insurance? 保险Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that. 对哦打勾我当然需要保险You don't have insurance? 你没有保险吗Why, how much is this gonna cost? 怎么了要多少钱I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars. 我不知道单是X光就可能得好几百元Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do? 我们该怎么办Well there's not much we can do. 没有太多办法可想Um... unless, unless I use yours. 除非我用你的Hah, no no no no no no no no no no. 不行不行绝对没门Wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person? 等等我刚把谁填成"紧急联络人"了That's insurance fraud. 这是保险欺诈Well, alright, then, forget it. Might as well just go home. 好吧算了我直接回家算了Come here, I hate this. 好吧回来我真讨厌这样做Thank you. Thank you. I love you. 谢谢谢谢我爱你Hi, um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms . 不好意思我需要新表格Why? 为什么I am really an idiot. 我真是个笨蛋You see, I was filling out my friend's form, 我替我朋友填资料时and instead of putting her information, I put mine. 填的不是她的资料而是我的You are an idiot. . 你真是个笨蛋Yep, that's me, I am that stupid. 没错这就是我我就是那么笨I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.我昨晚梦见自己在和我儿子在玩橄榄球That's nice. 真温馨No, no, with him. 不他是球I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby 我在球场上他们用我儿子开球And I, I know I've gotta do something 我知道自己得做点什么'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me. 因为坦帕湾队的防守球员逐渐逼近Tampa Bay's got a terrible team. 坦帕湾队烂得要死Right, but, it is just me and the baby, 没错但只有我和我儿子so I'm thinkin' they can take us. 我想我们死定了And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field. 所以我只好把我儿子扔出去What are you crazy? That's a baby! 什么你疯啦那是你儿子He should take the sack? 那他该擒杀吗Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, 总之突然我又到了前场and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right?我发现该接住我儿子的人是我Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, 但我绝对来不及赶过去So I am running, and running, 于是我跑啊跑and that, that is when I woke up. 然后就惊醒了See I, I am so not ready to be a father. 看我根本还没准备好当爸爸Hey, you're gonna be fine. 你没问题的You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America.你是全美最细心最有责任感的男人You're gonna make a great dad. 你将来一定是个好爸爸的Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking. 没错罗斯你和你儿子只需要提高防守Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? 你们去过彩虹厅吗Is it real expensive? 真有那么贵Well, only if you order stuff. 只有点东西吃才会贵I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday. 我今晚要带厄休拉去今天是她生日Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday? 等等菲比的生日该怎么办When's that? 什么时候Tonight. 今晚Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening? 天怎么会有这么巧的事情You take your time. 慢慢想吧There it is! 这回想通了So what're you gonna do? 你打算怎么办What can I do? 我能怎么办Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula. 我不想让厄休拉不开心And your friend Phoebe? 你的朋友菲比呢Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. 如果她是我朋友希望她能谅解I mean, wouldn't you guys? 你们不是都能谅解吗Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, 我生日时如果你敢这样做you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit. 那你就等着我勃然大怒吧you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference. 加上少量藏红花就能使情况完全改观Okay, errrr, Monica? 摩妮卡Yes? ..yes, she is. 在在她在呢- Hi, this is my friend Rachel. - Hi. -嗨这是我朋友瑞秋 -嗨Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell. 瑞秋我是米契尔大夫And I'm his friend,Dr.Rosen. 我是他的朋友罗森大夫Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor? 你们当医生是否太帅了一点Excuse me? 你说什么I meant er, young, young, 年轻我是指年轻I meant young, young to be a doctor. 你当医生稍嫌年轻了点Oh good, Rach. 你真会说瑞秋- Thank you. - Right. -谢谢 -好的so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it. 他说这只是扭伤就这样Uh, you left out the stupid part. 你忘了说我们做的蠢事Not stupid. 才不蠢呢The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night,这两位超级大帅哥医生约我们明晚出去and I said "yes." 我答应了I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. 你根本就是疯了他们在医院工作It's like returning to the scene of the crime. 我们这样相当于回到犯罪现场自投罗网You know, I say we blow off the dates. 还是取消约会吧What? 什么Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, 莫妮卡他们是大帅哥而且还是医生cute doctors, doctors who are cute! 帅哥医生很帅的医生Alright, what have we learned so far? 好了目前为止我们学习到什么Surprise!!! 惊喜What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me. 你们在干什么把我吓死了Was that the cake? 那是蛋糕吗Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush. 对柠檬口味Come on, she'll be here any minute. 快她随时会到I hope it's okay. 希望蛋糕没事"Happy Birthday Peehe." "生日快乐菲..."Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses.或许我们可以用一朵玫瑰改成"比"Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools. 是啊用我们的专业蛋糕工具Hey, what's going on? 什么事Oh, we just... 我们只是Surprise! 惊喜This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. 你们真是太好了一点都不吓人Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! 各位好贝蒂贝蒂你好You found Betty! Oh my god! This is great. 你们找到了贝蒂天啊太好了Everybody I love is in the same room, Where's Joey? 我爱的大家都在一起乔伊在哪儿Did you see Betty? 你看见贝蒂没I tell you one thing, 我跟你说I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business.我很愿意在番茄干生意中分一杯羹Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, 五年前如果有人说here's a tomato that looks like a prune, 我的蕃茄瘪得像干李子I'd say "get out of my office!" 我会叫他滚出我的办公室Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all? 爸我出生前你有没有紧张I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, 我不紧张我是说if somebody had come to me with the idea and- 如果有人来建议我做这个生意...Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. 爸爸爸我在谈小孩的事Did you uh, ever get this sort of panicky, 我出生前你是否很紧张"Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing? 觉得"天啊我要当爹了"之类的No. 不Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. 你妈妈全包办了我又忙于公司I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about? 经常不在家你找我来是为了这个No, no, Dad, I was just wondering. 不是爸我只是有点迷惑'Cause there's time to make up for that. 因为我们还有时间弥补We can do stuff together. 我们可以花些时间在一起You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. 你一直想去威廉斯堡How 'bout we do that? 我们一起去如何Thanks, Dad, really, I just you know, I just, 谢了爸我只是I just needed to know, 我只是想知道um when did you start to feel like a father? 你何时起感觉自己像个父亲Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been 我想应该是the day after you were born. 你出生后第一天We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, 我们在病房你妈在睡觉and they brought you in and gave you to me. 他们把你抱进来交给我You were this ugly little red thing, 你当时是个红彤彤的小丑娃and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. 你突然用拳头紧抓住我的手指And you squeezed it, so tight. 紧紧捏住我的手指And that's when I knew. 那时候我才感觉到So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg? 所以你不想去威廉斯堡吗No, we can go to Williamsburg. 没有我想去Eat your fish. 吃鱼吧Rachel, the cute doctors are here. 瑞秋帅哥医生来了Okay, coming! 来了- Hi, come on in. - Hey. -请进 -嗨- Hi, Geoffrey. - Hi. -你好杰佛瑞 -你好Ah here, we brought wine. 我们带了一瓶酒Look at this, it's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine,这是来自恩尼斯及托夫波尼酒窖- so how could we resist? - Oh, that's great. Look at that. -我们怎么能拒绝呢 -太好了真不错So, Monica, how's the ankle? 摩妮卡脚踝如何It's uh... 它啊Well, why don't you tell them? 你何不告诉他们After all it, is your ankle. 毕竟这是你的脚踝You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um 你猜怎么着感觉好多了谢谢Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, 这样吧你们先请坐and we'll get you some glasses 我们去拿杯子Stat! 快坐好Okay, listen, I'm thinking, 听我说我刚在想why don't we just tell them who we really are? 何不干脆向他们表明我们的身份I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine. 我相信绝对不会有事的It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble. 才不会我们会惹上大麻烦Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss? 摩妮卡别那么不争气A wuss? 不争气Excuse me for living in the real world, okay? 抱歉我活在真实的世界之中- So? - So... they sss-still seem normal. -所以呢 -她们似乎很正常That's because they are. 本来就正常okay, but you have to admit that 好吧但你得承认every time we go out with women we meet at the hospital 每次我们和医院认识的女患者约会- it turns into.. - Willya relax? -结果都会... -别紧张Look around. No pagan altars, 看看四周没有异教徒的神坛no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. 角落没有成堆的骨头她们没事的Go like this. 来做这个动作I said we are not going to do it, okay? 要我说我们绝不能这么做Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby. 有时你真的真的很幼稚I am not a baby! 我才不幼稚- You know what - What -你知道吗 -怎样- You know what - What! -你知道吗 -怎样- You know what - What!! -你知道吗 -到底怎样Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother. 你一天天变得愈来愈像你妈了Hello! Here we go! 来美酒到This is a great place. How long have you lived here? 这房子好漂亮住在这儿多久了Thanks! I've been here about six years, 谢谢我住在这能有六年了and Rachel moved in a few months ago. 瑞秋几个月前才搬来Yeah...see, I was supposed to get married, 对我本来应该结婚的but, um, I left the guy at the altar. 但我逃婚了- Really? - Yeah. -真的吗 -是的Yeah Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. 我知道这样很自私但我就是这种人Why don't you try the hummus? 尝尝这个鹰嘴豆泥So, Monica, what do you do? 那摩妮卡你从事什么工作Aahh, I'm a chef at a restaurant uptown. 我是上城区一家餐厅的主厨Good for you. 真有你的Yeah it is, 没错Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do. 主要是因为我能使唤别人我很喜欢这样This hummus is great. 这个鹰嘴豆泥不错.God bless the chickpea. 上帝保佑鹰嘴豆Oh, god, I am so spoiled. 天啊我真是被宠坏了That's it! 就这样了And by the way, have I mentioned that 对了我有没有提过back in high school, I was a cow? 高中那会儿我壮得像头牛I used to wet my bed. 我常尿床I use my breasts to get other people's attention. 我以胸部吸引别人的注意We both do that! 我们都一样Monica and Rachel's apartment. 摩妮卡与瑞秋的公寓Just one second ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad. 等等瑞秋是你爸Hi, Dad. 爸No, no, it's me. 不是我Li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, 听我说老爸我现在没空um, but there's something, 但有些话um there's something that I've been meaning to tell you 有些话我一直想告诉你Would you excuse me for a second? 失陪一下Remember back in freshman year? 记得我大一那年吗Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed. 我和比利·德瑞克森在你床上做爱Daddy Daddy... 爸爸你听我说why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? 为什么我干嘛和比利·德瑞克森上床His father tried to put you out of business! 他爸可是想抢走你的生意You're dead! 你死定了Ross, he's got the remote again. 罗斯他又在玩遥控器了Good. 好的Maybe he can switch it back. 或许他能将语言调回来Maybe not. 或许不会Hello. 喂Um, yeah, uh, Okay ah, hold on a second, 好的等等lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here. 我看看我看看她在不在It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. 医院入院处那个女人打来的She says there's a problem with the form. 她说表格有问题Oh, god, oh god, Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do? 天啊天啊我们该怎么办I don't know! 我不知道What do they want? Find out what they want! 他们要干什么问他们要干什么Okay no, you do it. 不你问Hello, this is Monica 喂我是摩妮卡Yeah???Oh... 是的Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.Thank you. 好我们马上去谢谢What? 什么事We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms. 我们忘了在入院表格上签名Ohhh Okay, you were right. You were right! 你说得对你说得对- This was just not worth it. - Thank you. -不值得这么做 -谢谢- Okay, let me just change. - Yes. -我们改回来 -好- Hey. - Hey! -嗨 -嗨Trouble? 有心事Your sister stood me up the other night. 你姐前天晚上放我鸽子Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you? 不是吧被人放鸽子的滋味不好受吧Well did you try calling her? 你有打电话给她吗I've been trying for two days. 我连打了两天When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. 打给餐厅时他们说她太忙没空讲话I can't believe she's blowin' me off. 我不敢相信她想甩掉我Um you, you got a minute? 有空吗Um, yeah, I'm just... ..working. 有我只是在工作So. 那...Um, oh, I got you a birthday present. 我为你买了生日礼物Oh, wow! You remembered! 天啊你记得Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos! 是个卡通水杯- Right, like the kind you... - Right -对就像被你弄坏那个... -是哦- Oh, I got something for you, too. - How'd you know I was coming? -我也有东西送你 -你怎知道我会来Um, yeah, um, twin thing. 我们是双胞胎嘛I can't believe you did this. 我不敢相信你会这么做I can't believe you.....did this. 我不敢相信...你会这么做So What's the deal with umm, you and Joey? 你和乔伊之间怎么回事Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over. 他人很好但我们分手了- Does he know? - Who? -他知道吗 -谁Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you. 乔伊他对你着迷不已He is? Why? 是吗为什么You got me. 你可把我问倒了Right. 没错.Excuse me.Doesn't this come with a side salad? 服务员这道菜不是有沙拉配吗So, um, are you gonna call him? 那你会打电话给他吗What? Do you think he likes me? 怎么你认为他喜欢我No, Joey. 不是乔伊No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. 不他很聪明他会想通的Do you want some chicken? 想吃鸡肉吗No. No food with a face. 不带脸的食材不吃You have not changed! 你一点没变Yeah, you too. 你也一样Hi, remember us? 记得我们吗Um, okay.You just called a little while ago 你刚打电话给我们about needing a signature on the admissions form. 说要在入院表格上签名Well, it turns out we need a whole new one 但我们需要一张全新的表格because uh, you see, 因为我I-I, I put the wrong name again.'causeum... 我又写错名字了因为You're that stupid. 你就是那么笨I am. I'm that stupid. 对我就是那么笨Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check. 我要用支票付帐Well, you know your insurance will cover that. 你不知道保险会给付吗Yeah, I know... ..I'm I'm just not that bright either. 我知道只是我也没那么聪明Okay, worst case scenario. 最糟糕的情况是Say you never feel like a father. 假如你永远不会有爸爸的感觉Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. 假设你儿子永远不会跟你有感情Say all of his relationships are affected by this. 假设他的恋爱观将会受此影响Do you have a point? 你这话有重点吗You know, you think I would. 你觉得我有没有呢What's up with the simian? 这只猴子怎么了It's just a fur ball. 只是毛球Okay...whose turn is it? 好吧该谁了Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'. 你我刚拼出的"肾"得了43分No, no, you got zero points for 'IDNEY'. 不你没得分你拼的是"月"I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'? 不对我有上半边跑哪儿去了You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'! 快帮我我的猴子吞了个字母You go get that animal outta here. 把你的动物带走!No, no you don't understand 不你不明白the animal hospital is way across town 动物医院在城的另一头he'schoking I don't know what else to do. 他噎到了我不知道怎么办- What's goin' on?- Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile. -怎么回事 -马塞尔吞了一个拼字字母Excuse me This hospital is for people! 抱歉这是为人看病的医院Lady, he is people.He has a name, okay? 小姐他是人他有名字He watches Jeopardy! 他爱看"挑战自我"节目He he touches himself when nobody's watching. 如果没人盯着他他还会自摸- Please, please have a heart! - I'll take a look at him. -拜托有点爱心吧 -我替它看看- Oh, thank you. Michael. - Rachel. -谢谢麦克 -瑞秋- What? - Monica. -什么 -莫妮卡Hey. 嗨Urse... 厄休拉ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you. 你怎么会在这儿我一直打电话找你Listen, um... 听我说No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." 不别叫我听我知道你的意思I've said that "listen." 我对别人这么说过I'm sorry. 抱歉I don't get it.What happened? 我不懂你这是怎么了What about everything you said under the bridge? 你在桥下说过的话呢Yeah, um... 这样...You should just forget about what I said under the bridge, 你得忘记我在桥下说过的话I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk! 我那一夜喝醉了全是胡言乱语You don't drink. 你不喝酒That's right, I don't .. 没错我不喝酒But I was, I was drunk on you! 但我爱你爱得如痴如醉Oh, Urse... 厄休拉Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work. 我们是没有结果的Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe? 为什么因为我是菲比的朋友吗If it was, would you stop hanging out with her? 如果是你愿意不和她来往吗No. No, I, I couldn't do that. 不行我办不到Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! 那没错就是因为她So, you know, it's either her or me. 所以不是她就是我Then, uh, then I'm sorry. 那么我只能说抱歉了You're gonna be really, really hard to get over. 忘了你会是很难的一件事I know... 我知道I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or what,我不知是因为我们要分手还是怎样but you have never looked so beautiful. 你从未这么漂亮过Really? 真的- Pheebs? - Yeah. Oooh... -菲比 -什么事He looks so tiny. 它看起来好小- We just got the message. - Is he alright? -我们刚听说 -他没事吧Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. 没事医生已取出字母了He also found an 'M' and an 'O'. 他还发现另外两个We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.' 我们猜他是想拼出"猴子"二字Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now. 医生说它已无大碍它刚睡着So, you feel like a dad yet? 那你现在有当爸爸的感觉没No, why? 没有干嘛问Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. 拜托你办到了你做了必须做的That is very dad. 有爸爸的味道了Oh, look, he's waking up! 看他醒了hey, fella! How you doing? 小猴子感觉如何Here it is! 上菜了Who ordered General Sal's chicken? 谁点的左宗棠鸡Who ordered General Sal's chicken? 国外常见中餐菜It could've been General Sal! 这不可能是左宗棠鸡Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula! 快看快看丑裸男在跳呼拉图舞Hi, Joey! 嗨乔伊Hi, amigos! 嗨朋友们Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote. 看啊罗斯马塞尔在用遥控器The thing is, he doesn't like the program! 问题是他根本不喜欢这个节目。

What you guys don't understand is,for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.Yeah, right!...Y'serious?Oh, yeah!Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Absolutely.Yeah, I think for us,kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know?kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know?I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.Yeah, and-and it's not thatwe don't like the comedian, it's that-that...that's not why we bought the ticket.The problem is, though, after the concert's over,no matter how great the show was,you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know?I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic...basicallyjust trying to stay awake.Yeah, well, word of advice:Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourselfsitting at home, listening to that album alone....Are we still talking about sex?...Are we still talking about sex?No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- Mm-doesn't she seem a little angry?Well, she has issues.Does she?He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying toget the mastodon smell out of the carpet!Marsha, these are cave people.Okay? They have issues like'Gee, that glacier's getting kind of close.'- See? - Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife? Me? No.Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!Okay.Yes.Yes,it is.Okay.Yes.Yes,it is.How about I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age?You look great. I, uh...I hate that.Sorry. thanks.You look good too.Ah, well, in here, anyone who...stands erect...So what's new? Still, uh...A lesbian?Well...you never know. How's, um...how's the family?Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-Why- why are you here, Carol?I'm pregnant.Pregnant?!she didn't leave in such a hurry after allOh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company wherethere's some kind of misunderstanding....Then I've already seen this one!Are you through with that?Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.Whose little ball of paper is this?!Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself,and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and......now I wish I was dead.She's already fluffed that pillow...Monica, you know,you've already fluffed that--but, it's fine!Look , I'm sorry, guys,I just don't wanna give them any more ammunitionthan they already have.Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can beabout the flatness of a child's pillow.Monica? Hi!Um, Monica, you're scaring me.I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly.And not-not in a good way.Yeah, calm down.You don't see Ross getting all chaotic andtwirly every time they come.That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong.Y'see, he's the Prince.Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. What?Ugly Naked Guy got a thigh-master!Has anybody seen my engagement ring?Yeah, it's beautiful.Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. No, look, don't touch that!Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough,having to give it back to him...'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veilwho stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!'Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring,without the ring, which makes it so much harder...Easy Rach, we'll find it. Won't we!Oh! Yeah!Alright, when do you have it on last?Doy! Probably right before she lost it!You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days...I know I had it this morning,and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with......Dinah?Ohhhhh, don't be mad...You didn't?Oh, I am sorry...I gave you one job!Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!Now, Monica, you know that's nothow you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...I just...can't do it.Boys? We're going in.Wow. That is not a happy hi.Carol's pregnant.Ooh! I found it!W-w-wh-...wha-...w-w-w-...Yeah. Do that for another two hours,you might be where I am right about now.Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon? Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved,but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved... basically it's totally up to me.She is so great! I miss her.What does she mean by 'involved'?I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done. Anyway, they want me to go down to this-sonogram thing with them tomorrow.So what are you gonna do?I have no idea.No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father. ...Well, this is still ruined, right?Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you.Mmm! What's that curry taste?Curry.I- I think they're great! I, I really do.Do you remember the Ludwins?The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?They all had a thing for him.Aw, Mom...I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or...I don't know.Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-No Mom, I don't have a restaurant,I work in a restaurant.Well, they don't have to know that...Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?- Yeah. - Oh, we're having spaghetti!That's...easy.I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish,but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.What that Rachel did to her life...We ran into her parents at the club,they were not playing very well.I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding...but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...What's that supposed to mean?Nothing! It's an expression.No, it's not.Don't listen to your mother.You're independent, and you always have been!Even when you were a kid...and you were chubby, and you had no friends,you were just fine!And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars,with his museum, and his papers getting published.Other people are satisfied with staying where they are-I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer....And I read about these women trying to have it all,and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem. So, Ross, what's going on with you?Any stories?No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?Okay! Okay.Look, I, uh- I realiseyou guys have been wonderingwhat exactly happened between Carol and me, and,so, well, here's the deal.Carol's a lesbian.She's living with a woman named Susan.She's pregnant with my child,and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.And you knew about this?!Your folks are really that bad, huh?Well, y'know, these people are pros.They know what they're doing,they take their time, they get the job done.Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could--I'd want yours.Must pee.Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.- You're twins? - Yeah. We don't speak.She's like this high-powered, driven career type. What does she do?She's a waitress.All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. Chandler, you're an only child, right?- You don't have any of this. - Well, no,although I did have an imaginary friend, who...my parents actually preferred.The lights, please......How long was I in there?I'm just cleaning up.Do you...uh...do you need any help?Uh...okay, sure! Thanks!Anyway...um...So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?Oh...a little...A lot.So, got any advice?Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped?Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word'dumped'.Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific,I know it'll be hard.Or, y'know, uh, hey! I'll go down there,and I'll give Barry back his ring,and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow...When did it get so complicated?Got me.- Remember when we were in high school together? - Yeah.I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone,fall in love- and that'd be it?- Ross? - Yes, yes!Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here...Me either...Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work.There was this big dinosaur...thing...anyway.Ross, you remember Susan.How could I forget?Ross.Hello, Susan. Good shake. Good shake.So, uh, we're just waiting for...?Dr. Oberman.- ...Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he - She.She, of course, she- uh-familiar with our...special situation?Yes, and she's very supportive.Okay, that's great.No, I'm- Oh.Thanks.Ross? That opens my cervix.Barry?Come in.Are you sure?Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours. So, how are you doing?I'm- uh- I'm okay...You look great!Dr. Farber,- Jason Greenstein's gagging. - Be right there.Be back in a sec.I dumped him.So, how's this all gonna work?Y'know, with us?Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made? Give me a 'for instance'.Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay,how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?- Marlon. - Marlon?If it's a boy,Minnie if it's a girl....As in Mouse?As in my grandmother.Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse.Um,how about, um...how about Julia?Julia...We agreed on Minnie.Totally, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches.I believe Julia's on the table...?Sorry about that.So. What have you been up to?Oh, not much. I-I got a job.Oh, that's great.Why are- why are you so tanned?Oh, I, uh- I went to Aruba.- Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone? - No,I went with, uh...Now, this may hurt.- Me?! - No!I went with Mindy.Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now.Oh! Well...um, You've got plugs!Careful! They haven't quite taken yet.And you've got lenses!But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!Not for her.Listen, I really wanted to thank you.See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you.More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.Wow. You know, you were right?I mean, I thought we were happy.We weren't happy.But with Mindy,now I'm happy.- Spit. - What?Me.Anyway, um,I guess this belongs to you.And thank you for giving it to me.Well, thank you for giving it back.Hello!Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?Helen Geller?I don't think so.- It's not gonna be Helen Geller. - Thank you!No, I mean it's not Geller.What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?No, actually, um,we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?It's my baby too.Oh, so funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm. Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!All right, you two, stop it!No no no, she gets a credit,hey, I'm in there too.Ross. You're not actually suggestingHelen Willick-Bunch-Geller?Cause I think that borders on child abuse.Of course not,I'm...suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.Oh, no, nonononono,you see what he's doing?He knows no-one's gonna say all those names,so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!My way?! You-you think this is my way?Believe me, of all the waysI ever imagined this moment in my life being,this is not my way- y'know what?Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-Knock knock! How are we today? Any nausea?- A little. - Yeah. - Yeah.Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be,but...thanks for sharing.Uh, lie back...You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go.I don't- I don't think I can be involvedin this particular thing right now.Oh, my God.Look at that.I know.Well? Isn't that amazing?What are we supposed to be seeing here?I don't know, but...I don't know, but...I think it's about to attack the Enterprise. You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes,it kind looks like an old potato.Then don't do that, alright?Okay!Monica. What do you think?Wh- are you welling up?No.You are, you're welling up.I'm not!You're gonna be an aunt.Oh shut up!Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel.Yeah, I'm fine.I saw Barry today. Yeah, he told me.No,i t's okay. Really, it's okayI hope you two are very happy, I really do.Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything-I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. Okay, I know it was a cheap shot,but I feel so much better now.第一季第二集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。