从目的论看《生活大爆炸》的字幕翻译

Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 《生活大爆炸》前情提要Want to grab some lunch? 想去吃午饭吗You know what? I don't think so. 你猜怎么着不去Oh, let me guess, you're not eating 我来猜猜看你不吃饭because the mean girls circled your chubby bits in marker?是因为刻薄女们用笔把你胖的部位圈出来了No. That, that right there. 不是这个你刚才说的这个That's the reason. You're always making fun of me. 这就是原因你总是在取笑我Those are just jokes. 那些都是玩笑话而已It's my way of saying that we're friends, 我用这种方式来表达我们是朋友and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few. 再说你减个几斤又不会死15 years of constant ridicule. 15年来你总是在奚落我I-I think our relationship has become toxic. 我觉得我们的关系已经变得有毒了What are you saying? 你这是什么意思I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other.我觉得我们需要分开一段时间Look, I... 听着我...I can see you're upset, but... 看得出你不开心但是...I'm gonna need some ground rules. 我需要知道一些基本规则While we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men? 分开期间我能否约其他缠人的印度男Get out! 滚出去Get out! 时至今日Oh, Stuart, two questions: 斯图尔特我有两个问题Do you have the new Aquaman, 你有最新的《水行侠》漫画吗and do you mind if I use your back room to smoke some meat?还有你介不介意我在你后屋熏肉Well, since it's you asking, 鉴于问的人是你I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism. 我猜熏肉应该没有别的隐晦含义Why are you smoking meat? 所以你为什么要熏肉啊And why are you reading Aquaman? 还有你为什么开始看《水行侠》这种玩意了I am trying to make Amy a historically accurate 我想给艾米做一顿符合历史的Little House on the Prairie dinner for her birthday, and... 《草原小屋》风格生日晚餐至于漫画...美国大西部拓荒风格儿童小说 1932年出版的背景设在1870到80年间的I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool.则是以防日后它火的时候好显摆自己早看过了Wow, well, that's actually really sweet. 还真是有心呢The dinner thing. The Aquaman thing's dumb. 我是说晚餐的事《水行侠》的事太傻逼了直到新的电影中找了型男演出才翻身水行侠曾是人气低又总被漫迷吐槽的弱鸡侠Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's? 对了哈雷的生日跟艾米生日同天对吧Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, 不过我们没有要盛大庆祝她才一岁Bernadette's on bed rest, and 伯纳黛特在卧床养胎I'm lazy. 而我是懒蛋Hey, guys. 你们好啊- Hello. - Hey. -你好啊 -你来啦Howard. 霍华德兄Raj. 拉杰同志Excuse me. 失陪了Really? Is this still happening? 不是吧你们还在闹别扭啊I'm willing to make up, but someone's being a baby. 我很乐意重修旧好但某人像个婴儿似的Ooh! I do love a riddle. Oh, let me see. 我最爱谜语了我来猜猜See, my first guess would be Halley, 我第一个会猜哈雷but that'd be strange to accuse her of being a baby 不过骂她像个婴儿有点不合理'cause she is a baby. Um... 因为她本来就是婴儿I suppose it could be Stuart; 我想或许是斯图尔特his head does have a certain milky scent. 他的小脑袋有某种婴儿奶香Although... 不过嘛...I-It's me, Sheldon. He-He's calling me a baby. 是我谢尔顿他是在骂我闹婴儿脾气No, I don't know. I saw Leonard put his keys in his mouth today. 不好说我今天还看到莱纳德把钥匙放嘴里You're a grown man; act like it. 你都是个成年人了别那么幼稚Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book. 一个读《阿奇漫画》的人真好意思说这种大话Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book. 内容是一个高中生的冒险故事Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.《狼人加戈》比你老爸生的傻子[加戈]强多了Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead. 这是阿奇的挚友加戈.佐纳斯的个人番外篇Come on, you guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting. 别这样你们都当朋友那么多年了别吵了I have an extra ticket 我有两张去to the opening of The Last Jedi tonight. 今晚《星球大战》新电影首映的票It was gonna be Howard's, but you can have it. 本来一张要给霍华德现在给你吧You two had a good run. 过去虽美缘分已尽Uh, who wants to go see Last Jedi again tonight? 今晚谁想再去看一次《星战8》- Mm, I'm in. - Me, too. -我要去 -我也要It'll be nice to see the parts I missed while I was blinking. 这样能补上我眨眼时错过的部分Hey, guys, there's a change of plans. 各位计划有变We are having a party for Halley's birthday after all. 我们最终还是决定为哈雷办生日派对Turns out Bernadette and "Anyone who's not a heartless monster"原来伯纳黛特与"任何不是没心没肺恶魔"的人thinks that's the right thing to do. 都会觉得应该举办I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake. 我不喜欢小孩不过我喜欢生日蛋糕Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it? 等等蛋糕上会有糖霜裱花吗I don't know. 我不知道I'll risk it. 我愿意以身犯险But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why. 如果我闹脾气又提早走原因不说你也懂- Here you go. - Here you go. -给你 -给你See you two there. 两位到时候见Are you kidding me? 你不是吧You're not gonna invite me to Halley's birthday? 你不邀请我去哈雷的生日派对吗I'm her godfather; that means something. 我是她的干爸这可不是白叫Or-- hear me out on this-- it doesn't. 或者... 听我说... 就是白叫Okay, that's enough. 好了够了This fight either has to end or get way more entertaining. 你们俩要么别吵了要么吵点新花样出来Don't worry about it 'cause I'm done putting up with him! 没事我受够他了I know you have a lot on your mind, 我知道你有很多事要烦but when do you think we'll have an answer on those cake flowers?但你觉得什么时候能知道蛋糕裱花的事What you reading? 你在看什么Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter. 是你哥哥的圣诞卡片If there's a picture of his wife and his kids 如果里面有他跟他老婆孩子and his dogs and his horses all in matching pajamas, 还有他家的狗与马全部穿成套睡衣的照片I beg you to burn it. 我求你烧了它Aw, the people's pajamas have little horses on them, 他们穿的睡衣上有小马and the horses' have little people. 而他家的马穿的衣服上有小人It's just his chance to brag about how great his life is. 他就是趁机炫耀他生活多完美Oh, come on, it's nice. 别这样挺好的啊You know that nonprofit he works with? 你知道他合作的公益机构吗They built a hospital in Rwanda. 他们在非洲卢旺达盖了医院呢Look at me. I built a hospital in Rwanda. 快来看我我在卢旺达盖了医院呢That is a good point. I hadn't thought of it that way. 好有道理啊我都没这么想过呢- Hello. - Hey. -两位好 -好So this is for Amy's birthday. Can I leave it here? 这是艾米生日要用的我能先放这里吗Sure. What is it? 行啊那是什么A butter churn. 黄油搅拌筒Aw, that's what I got her. 我也要送她那个呢It's for her surprise frontier birthday dinner. 这是我给她的拓荒者惊喜生日晚餐上要用的I am making hardtack, boiled salt pork, 我要做压缩饼干盐煮猪肉and because it's a special day, a chewable gob of tree sap. 因为是特殊的日子还要做可嚼式树汁块Is that good? 那个味道好吗Uh, compared to other foods, no. 跟其他食物相比不好Compared to other parts of a tree? 跟树的其他部位相比嘛...And then after dinner, we will have birthday coitus. 在晚餐过后我们会进行生日交媾Do you think that will also be historically accurate? 你觉得这部分符合历史吗I assume like the rest of frontier life, 我猜会像其他开拓者的生命一样it'll be exhausting and short. 既累人又简短You're exhausting and short. 你才又累人又短小呢Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Halley's party, right? 斯图尔特你会来哈雷的生日派对吧You bet. 那当然Plus, I live there and I was invited, 而且我住在那里又收到邀请so it's already better than my tenth birthday party. 这已经比我十岁生日派对还赞了Great. Can you bring a few things? 太好了你能带几样东西来吗Sure. What do you need? 行啊你要什么Balloons, streamers, 气球彩带ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter, 冰块零食蹦跳城堡脸部彩绘颜料and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and say 还有几个小孩他们家长会愿意替我说谎they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to.说他们是在我从未去过的"亲子班"认识我的Where do you and Halley go every week? 那你每周都跟哈雷去哪里了啊The important thing is we're together, 反正重要的是我一直陪在她身边and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes. 电影太暴力时我都会捂上她眼睛Don't stress about this party. 别太紧张这个派对She's one; she's not gonna remember. 她才一岁她什么都不会记得The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked. 之前我让她看自己的脚趾她吓坏了It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette. 派对不是为了孩子是为了孩子她妈She's feeling guilty 她对错过about all the stuff she's missing with Halley. 哈雷的成长点滴感到愧疚All right. 好吧Uncle Stuart's got your back. 斯图尔特叔叔帮你忙Ain't no party like a Stuart party 斯图尔特式派对绝对与众不同because Stuart's never invited to parties. 因为斯图尔特从没被邀请去过派对Did the electricity go out? 停电了吗I don't know what you mean by "electricity," Ma'am. 女士我不知道你说的"电"是什么I am just a farmer boy living in a little house on the prairie.我只是一个住在草原小屋里的务农男孩I'm glad you're happy. 你开心就好I wanted to do something special for your birthday. 我想在你生日的时候做点特别的Oh, you did, you did! It's perfect! 有很特别太完美了You do know that my birthday's tomorrow, right? 但你知道我生日是明天的吧This is just step one of your birthday weekend. 这只是你的生日周末第一阶段Now, would you care to join me 你愿意坐下与我一同享用for an authentic frontier dinner 正宗拓荒者晚餐吗made entirely from scratch? 全部手工做的呢I can't believe you did this. It's amazing! 真不敢相信你做了这些太棒了Oh, it's not a big deal. 没什么大不了的啦Just to be clear, it was a big deal. 怕你误会这的确是有大不了I was being modest. You got that, right? 我刚才只是谦虚你有听懂的吧Loud and clear. 如雷贯耳Well, I hope you're hungry. 希望你已经饿了Oh, I'm starving. 我饿死了Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period. 太好了饥饿的确也符合那个年代背景If you also have malaria 如果你还得了疟疾and a deep distrust of Native Americans, 与十分不信任美洲原住民we're really cooking with a woodstove. 我们就真是有地道的拓荒者风了Is that butter? 那是黄油吗Yes. But don't blow it all on one biscuit. 是啊但配饼干省着点抹啊Took me nine hours to make that. 我花了9小时才搅出那么多I think I got churner's elbow. 可能都得了搅拌者肘I know we only have coitus on my birthday, 我知道我们只在生日那天交媾but I don't know if I can wait until midnight. 但我都不知道我能不能忍到午夜过后了Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. 你到时候会庆幸你忍住了的Everyone knows the best foreplay 全天下谁不知道最棒的前戏is rigid adherence to a strict schedule. 就是严格遵守时间表Hey. What are you doing? 你在干嘛Oh, I've decided to write my own Christmas letter. 我决定也设计一封我的圣诞贺卡So I'm gonna make a list of all the cool things we did this year.我正在列下我们今年做过的牛逼事Oh, fun. Can I help? 有意思能帮忙吗Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing we did this year? 可以啊你想到今年做的任何牛逼事了吗Uh, well, both of our jobs are going great. 我们的工作都进展不错啊Sure. I mean, my Air Force project got taken away, 大概吧我的空军项目被拿回了and you're not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals. 你也不是真的很爱当药代I'll just write down "Still employed." 我就写"工作还在"Oh, we had our second anniversary. 我们结婚两周年了Uh, yeah, but we did kind of forget about it, 不过我们也没怎么记得它so maybe just write "Still married." 就写"婚姻还在"Great. Okay. 很好行Okay, that's a start. 这是个好开头What else? 还有什么You know, maybe this is enough. 其实或许这样就够了Let's look at our pictures; that-that'll jog our memories. 来看看我们今年的照片吧有助于回忆What is that a picture of? 那照片是干嘛的Oh, uh, that's a mole on my back. 那是我背上的一个痣I wanted to make sure it wasn't growing. 我想确定它不是黑色素瘤How'd you get a picture of your own back? 你是怎么能拍到自己的背啊Sheldon took it. We're kind of mole buddies. 谢尔顿拍的我们是检查痣小伙伴Hey, that's a cute picture. 这照片挺有爱啊Isn't that the day we almost went to the beach? 这不是我们差点要去海边那次拍的吗Memorial Day? 阵亡将士纪念日吗No, that was the day we almost went to the mountains. 不是那天是我们差点就去爬山那次That's the great thing about California; 这就是加州的一个优点you can almost go to the mountains 你能在同一天同时and almost go to the beach in the same day. 差点去海边又差点去爬山Yeah. 是啊Look, I'm sorry about not inviting you 对不起我故意不邀请你to Halley's birthday. That wasn't cool. 来参加哈雷的生日派对这太恶劣了And of course we would love to have you. Here. 我们很希望你能来给Thank you. 谢谢I'd really like to be there. 我也很乐意来参加Great, 'cause it's tomorrow, and I need you to plan it. 太好了因为派对是明天我需要你来筹办What? 什么Stuart was gonna help, 斯图尔特本来说好了帮忙but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy, 但免费诊所有个免费结肠镜检查机会and he jumped on it. 他毫不犹豫弃我而去So-so-so you're just apologizing 所以你来道歉because you need something? 是因为你需要帮忙吗Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it. 对啊我觉得我敢承认是很成熟的一件事呢Well, that's very insulting. 这也太羞辱人了吧Right again. Are you gonna help me or not? 是啊你到底帮不帮忙No, I will not help you. 不我才不要帮你But I will help Halley. 但我愿意帮哈雷She's my goddaughter, and I love her. 她是我干女儿我爱她And I have a lot of party favors 而且我还有很多left over from Cinnamon's birthday, so... 小桂子生日派对多余的派对道具...I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them. 希望她会喜欢咬了会发声的东西Sh-She's a human being, not an animal. 她是人类不是动物But that actually would be a hit. 但感觉会很受欢迎呢Can I get you anything else? 你还想要什么吗No, thanks. I think I'm good. 不用了谢谢我吃饱了You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat. 你确定吗还剩很多猪油呢Although, if we don't eat it, 不过如果我们不吃I suppose we could turn it into soap. 我们是也可以把它做成肥皂啦That might taste better. 那样说不定还会好吃点I think I'm just gonna go over here and sit on the couch. 我想过去做在沙发上歇会儿Oh, great. 好啊Then we will move on to stage two: 那我们进行第二阶段吧the pitching of woo. 拨雨撩云Ooh. 撩吧Should I read you some bawdy 19th century limericks? 要我给你念念淫秽的19世纪打油诗吗Okay. 好吧Oh, here. 来"There once was a priest from Terre Haute "泰瑞豪特来了一牧师who purchased a sheep and a goat..." 他买了一绵羊一山羊..."Hold on a second. 等等Is it getting hot in here? 是不是有点越来越热啊Well, I didn't even get to the dirty part yet. 我都还没读到淫秽的部分呢No, I-I'm serious. 不是我是说认真的Do you think there was something wrong with that food? 你觉得会是食物有问题吗Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so. 拓荒者扇贝吗应该不会吧My stomach's feeling a little weird. 我的肚子有点难受Yeah. Uh, mine, too. 我的也有一点I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps of arousal. 我确定这只是情欲高涨前的剧烈疼痛No. Th-This doesn't feel right. 不这感觉不太对Hey, hey, save that sexy talk for the bedroom. 别急色色的话留到卧室里说You know, if you'll excuse me, 不好意思失陪一下I am just going to go freshen up. 我去洗把脸Sheldon? 谢尔顿I'll be out in a minute. 给我一分钟I don't have a minute! 我等不了一分钟I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight. 真不敢相信你一个晚上就弄到这样Uh, if I had more time, I could have gotten the Blue Man Group. 如果有更多时间我能请来蓝人乐团呢表演时会浑身涂成蓝色国际知名的三人打击乐团One of them goes to my dry cleaner. 其中一个跟我去同一个干洗店Who, by the way, hates him. 顺带一说超讨厌他You really saved the day. 你真是帮了大忙了Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley. 不是为了帮你是为了哈雷And I'm sure she'd appreciate it, 我也相信她一定会很感谢你if she knew what's going on or who you are. 如果她能懂这是在干嘛与你是谁Morning. 早安Happy birthday. 生日快乐Yeah, sure. 真够"快乐"的Did you sleep at all? 你有睡觉吗No. You? 没有你呢I passed out on the toilet once. 我在马桶上晕过去了一会I don't know if that counts. 不知道这算不算Feel any better? 你好点了吗I feel terrible. 糟透了Well... 那么should we make love now? 现在该做爱了吗How can you even think about sex? 你怎么还有心思做爱呢Hey, I'm a man; I have annual needs just like anyone. 我可是大老爷们跟大家一样一年有一次性需求And besides, it's our birthday tradition. 再说这是我们的生日传统You think you can do it 你觉得你能不能while I lie perfectly still and you don't touch me? 在我躺尸不动你也不碰我的情况下做完I can try. 我可以尽力一试Want to do it again? 想再来一次吗Morning. 早上好Morning. 早上好"Kept Fern alive"? Who's Fern? "养活了'杨弛'" 杨弛是谁啊No, the fern. The one in the bathroom. 不是羊齿浴室里那盆羊齿蕨We're really calling that brown thing alive? Okay. 我们真要硬说那盆褐色植物是活的吗好吧So, how long have you been working on this? 你想这个想多久了Oh, couple hours. 两个小时吧I took a break to try to beat my high score on Mario Kart. 我中途休息了一会试着打破我马里奥赛车的记录Well, did you do it? 你打破了吗Do you see it on the board? 你在板子上看到这一条了吗Okay, this is silly. Our lives are great. 这太蠢了我们的生活很美满啊I think so, too. 我也这么觉得So then why is this bugging you so much? 那你为什么如此烦恼I guess it feels like everyone's moving forward 我想是因为感觉大家都在前进and we're stuck. 而我们却原地踏步What do you mean? 什么意思Well, we've been married two years. 我们已经结婚两年了Should we think about what's next? 是否该考虑接下来的事了Like buying a house or having a baby? 比如买栋房子或是生个娃Look, I want to do all those things someday, 有一天我想完成这些步骤but there's a bunch of stuff I want to do first. 但在那之前我还有很多想做的事Okay, like what? 好吧比如什么事I don't know, stay thin and have money. 我也不知道保持苗条和有钱No, no, I-I'm serious. 不我是认真的If there's things we want to do, let's start doing them. 如果有想做的事我们就开始去做吧Okay. Well, we've never been on a big trip together. 好吧我们从来没有一起正式旅行过I would love that. 我很愿意去Okay, there's something for your letter: 那你的信里可以写这个啦"Considered going on a trip." "有考虑过去旅行"It's just a day trip, 虽然只是一天游but we could take the ferry out to Catalina. 但我们可以坐船到卡特琳娜岛Great, let's do it. 很好啊我们就去吧Amy's in the bathroom and I need to...! 艾米占用了洗手间我需要...It's like I can hear the ocean already. 我仿佛已经听见了海的声音Okay. Thanks for letting me know. 好的谢谢告知Hey, what's going on? 怎么了Bernadette's sister's kids are sick and they're not coming. 伯纳黛特家人的孩子们病了他们不来了But they're the whole reason the cupcakes are vegan! 但就是为了他们杯子蛋糕才做成素食啊- How's the party coming? - Good! -派对布置得怎么样啦 -很好Great! Our friends should be here any second! 超棒亲友们马上就要到啦Those are the only other people you invited? 除了我们你只邀请了他们吗What about the kids from the Daddy and Me class? "爸比与我"班上的那些孩子呢Oh, grow up. 成熟点吧- Uh-oh. - What? -糟了 -怎么了I left the food out. 我没把食物放进冰箱You afraid it's gonna go good? 你担心会变质成安全食品吗How are you feeling? 你感觉怎么样了Ugh. My stomach aches, I got the chills, 我胃疼恶寒my mouth tastes weird, 嘴巴里的味道怪怪的it hurts to swallow, 吞口水都疼and I've got a little double vision. 我看东西还有点重影Yeah. 是的I'm feeling better, too. 我也好多了Well, this party's a disaster. 这派对简直是灾难Don't blame the party! 别怪派对啊You know how many favors I had to call in 你知道我托了多少关系with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman? 才租到神奇女侠的蹦跳城堡吗Is that Wonder Woman? 那是神奇女侠吗Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called 严格来说那是个中国山寨版Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady. 叫快乐强壮的泳衣女士Then I take it back; it's a great party. 那我把话收回这派对棒极了Well, you can sit here and sulk if you want. 你自己坐在这儿生闷气吧I'm gonna go celebrate Halley's first birthday. 我要去庆祝哈雷的第一个生日Which I planned with no help from you. 这个派对是我计划的你屁忙都没帮What are you doing? 你要干什么It's a bounce house! I'm gonna go bounce in it! 这是蹦跳城堡我要进去蹦You're supposed to take your shoes off before you go in there! 进去前应该要先脱鞋啊You know what? 你知道吗I'm stressed about my daughter's birthday party. 我女儿的生日派对已经让我压力很大了I don't need your attitude. 我不要再看你脸色Well, I worked really hard on this, 我很努力把派对办起来and you haven't even said thank you. 你连句谢谢都没说Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you. 真抱歉谢谢啊Thank you for blaming me 谢谢你把你生活里for everything that's wrong in your life! 一切不顺都怪到我头上Thank you for walking out on our friendship! 谢谢你抛弃了我们的友谊You are welcome! 不客气And thank you for mocking me for all of these years! 我也谢谢你这些年来不断吐槽我Thank you for making it so easy! 谢谢你这么多槽点Why are you being such a jerk? 你为什么这么混蛋Because you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings! 因为你是我最好的朋友而你伤了我的心Well, you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings! 你也是我最好的朋友你也伤了我的心I can't believe you shoved me! 真不敢相信你居然推我Well, I can't believe you shoved me! 我也不敢相信你居然推我But it was kind of fun, wasn't it?! 但还挺好玩的不是吗- It was! Do it again! - Gladly! -是的再推一次 -乐意至极Okay, now at the same time! 好现在同时互推Oh, oh, that was awesome! 真是太赞了Yeah, okay, this time, knees, then feet. 好这次先膝盖着地然后站起来One, two, three. 一二三Again! Again! 再来再来Hello. 大家好呀You made it. 你们来了How you two feeling? 你们俩感觉怎么样Oh, a little better. 好点了Those books should have been called 那些书应该叫Little Outhouse on the Prairie. 《草原茅厕》才对Halley's awake and ready for her party! 哈雷醒了准备好参加派对啦Be right up! 我这就上来Ooh, I want to see the birthday girl. 我想看小寿星女I'd love to see her. 我很想见她Walk slow, it takes a while to get this bra back on. 别那么快重新穿上这胸罩需要点时间You know... 其实...it's still your birthday. 你的生日还没过It is. 确实And... we are both... feeling better. 我们两个都感觉好多了We are. 确实And there's no one in that bounce house. 那间弹跳屋里没人No. 哎Great. 太棒了Let's go jump for a bit, 我们去里面跳一会and then find a bedroom to have coitus in. 再找个房间交媾吧。

Aw, man, did you see this post from Raj? 你看到拉杰刚才发的状态了吗What? Is it another video of him and his dog 发什么了又一部他跟他的狗Lady-and-the-Tramping some spaghetti? "小姐与流浪汉式"地共吃面条影片吗片中两条狗从一条面条的两端慢慢吃到亲嘴迪士尼卡通电影经典段落No. He can't afford his apartment, 不是他住不起那个公寓了and he's asking if anyone knows of a cheap place to live. 在问有没有人知道哪里有便宜的住处I want to say "India," but it seems mean. 我想回"印度" 但感觉太贱了What's so funny? 什么事那么好笑Raj is looking for a cheap place to live, 拉杰在找便宜的地方住and I wrote "India." 我回了"印度"Don't post that; be supportive. 别回这个给人家点支持Maybe you should be supportive of my hilarious jokes.那你怎么不支持一下我的这些搞笑段子Fine, what should we do? 行那我们该怎么做We're smart. I'm sure we can think of something. 我们这么聪明肯定能想出办法You want to let him live here? 你想让他住我们这里吗Oh, we're smarter than that. 我们绝对比那聪明多了I know our apartment's small, 我知道我们的公寓很小but I think we can make room. 但挤一挤还是能挤出位子吧No, Sheldon. 谢尔顿不行We are not getting a life-size Spider-Man statue. 不许买真人大小的蜘蛛侠人像We do have Sheldon's old room. 家里的确还有谢尔顿的旧房间If he really needs a place to stay, 如果他真的需要落脚处I guess we should offer it to him. 我们可以让给他住You're a good friend. 你真是个好兄弟Am I still a good friend if I wait and hope 那如果我先等一会儿并期待that Howard offers him a place to live first? 霍华德先邀他去住他家还算好兄弟吗You're an even better husband. 你还是个更棒的老公I know if the roles were reversed, 我知道如果是换作我落魄he would do it for me. 他一定会伸出援手Where would he stay? 那他睡哪啊We already have Stuart. 我们已经收留斯图尔特了Well, we can make some space in the garage. 我们可以在车库里腾出位子啊Maybe put a cot out there, 给他弄个小床get him a space heater, maybe a hot plate. 再弄台小暖气或者一台电热炉That sounds awful. 听起来好惨啊Let's hope he thinks so, too. 希望他也会这么觉得For the last time, 我再说一次no Hulk, no Batman, no life-size statues. 绿巨人蝙蝠侠任何真人大小人像都不行I'm starting to think you didn't mean it 我开始觉得其实when you said you wanted to spruce up the place. 你并不是真心想要布置一下家里Hello. 你好Hey, uh, so we've been talking, 我与妮妮讨论了一下and if you need a place to stay, 如果你需要地方住we'd be happy to fix up the garage for you. 我们很乐意帮你收拾一下车库That would be amazing! 那就太棒了I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, 我刚才真的就看着我的纸箱子trying to pick one to live in. 寻思着要挑哪个住进去了I know it's not ideal, 虽然条件不太理想but you'd have plenty of space for your furniture, 但好歹里面有很多空间放你的家具and there's this cool button 还有个很酷的按钮that makes an entire wall go up and down. 能让你其中一面"墙"卷起来又放下去呢I cannot thank you enough. 真是太感谢你了It is our pleasure. 能帮你我们也很高兴Hey, can you hold on one sec? 你能等我一下吗Hello? 你好Hey, buddy, you still looking for a place to live? 兄弟你还在找地方住吗Uh... yeah. 是啊Why do you ask? 为什么这么问You know, we have the extra bedroom, 我们这里有多一间空房间and if you need it, it's yours. 如果你有需要那就让你住吧Oh, my God, that's so generous! 天啊你们真是太大方了It's the least we can do. 小事一件不足挂齿I-I really appreciate it. 我真的很感谢Uh, can you hold on one second? 你能稍等我一下吗Hey, so, Howard, what's the bathroom situation gonna be? 霍华德所以我的浴室是怎么样Well, there's a sink out there-- 外面有个水槽...that takes care of half your problems. 能帮你解决你一半的问题But I can use the downstairs bathroom, right? 但是我能用楼下的浴室对吧Yeah. We barely use it, so it'll be like it's yours. 行我们不怎么用跟你的独立卫浴差不多Cool, cool, yeah. 很好很好- Yeah, hold on one second. - Wh...? -那你再稍等我一下 -什么Hey, what's it like sharing a bathroom with Penny? 跟佩妮共用一个浴室是什么感觉Is there hair everywhere? 会不会到处都是她的头发Does she use your loofah? 她会不会偷用你的浴球I don't have a loofah. 我没有浴球Okay, well, if I move in, you can't use mine. 好吧如果我搬进去你也不许用我的Hold on a second. 再等我一下Hey, Howard, uh, how's the Wi-Fi in the garage? 霍华德车库里的无线网信号如何I don't know. 我也不知道Why are you asking all these questions? 你为啥要问这么多问题啊Well, to be honest, Leonard's on the other line, 老实告诉你莱纳德也在跟我通话and he offered me their spare bedroom. 他邀请我去住他家那间空房Great! Go live there. 太好啦住他那儿吧But you made the garage sound so fun. 可是你把住车库说得很有趣啊I just didn't want you to feel bad about it. 我只是不想你觉得住车库很惨Unless Leonard's apartment also has a raccoon 除非莱纳德的公寓也会有浣熊that chews its way in on cold nights, go there! 在冬夜里啃破墙壁爬进来不然就去住吧One second. 等一会儿Okay, I think we're close. 就差最后一步了How do you feel about a mini-fridge in my room? 你对我房里放个小冰箱有意见吗Hey, pal, you want to live here or not? 兄弟你还想不想住了Oh, uh, hi, Penny. Yes, please. 佩妮住住住麻烦您了Uh, Penny, this circular is addressed to "Occupant," 佩妮这张传单是给"住户"的but with our apartment switch, 但是我们现在换着住it's unclear whether it's yours or mine. 我弄不太清是给你还是给我的What's it for? 是干嘛的传单Roofing. 铺屋顶Yeah, it's yours. 那肯定是你的了Okay, thanks. 好吧谢谢"Just throw it out." "直接扔了吧"Speaking of occupants, I'm given to understand 说到住户根据我听到的消息Raj will be moving into my old room. 拉杰会搬到我以前的房间Yeah, for a little while. 是啊暂住一阵What about his dog? 那他的狗呢She'll be in her crate; it's not a big deal. 她会住在她的笼子里问题不大I suppose that's acceptable. 那我还算能接受吧Well, Sheldon's getting a little better with dogs. 谢尔顿现在比较敢接近狗了He even took a picture with Pluto at Disneyland. 他这次还在迪士尼乐园跟布鲁托合照了呢If real dogs gave me buttons, I'd like them, too. 如果真的狗也会送我胸章那我也喜欢他们Well, I think it's very nice 我觉得你们愿意that you're helping out our friend. 帮忙朋友是一件很棒的事I think it's nice that you're taking whatever medication 我倒觉得你也很棒无论艾米给你什么药Amy's clearly giving you. 你都照单全吃And what is that supposed to mean? 这话是什么意思Well, it's like that science thing. 这就跟某个科学定律一样For every action, 有任何举动[作用]you have a gigantic and annoying reaction. 你都会有又大又烦人的反应[反作用]Just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter. 真想不到我老婆美貌与智慧并存啊If you're implying that I'd have some problem 如果你俩是暗示我会不爽with him moving into my room, you're wrong. 拉杰搬进我的房间那你们就错了Raj is in a difficult financial situation, 拉杰现在的财务状况十分困难and I'm glad that he's making changes to improve it. 我很高兴他能做出改变去改善它Do not adjust the dosage. You nailed it. 药量不需要调整你做得很好Don't listen to them. 别听他们胡说What's weird is that Penny almost got a science fact right.奇怪的是佩妮居然差点就说对了一个科学事实I mean, it's unfair; people just assume I'm going to be upset 太不公平了人们都觉得我会不爽by Raj moving into my old room. 拉杰搬进我的旧房间But you are, aren't you? 可你确实是不是吗Oh, I'm outraged. 我不爽到极点Talk to me. Tell me what's going on. 跟我说说到底怎么回事Well, that's been my room since before I met Leonard, 在我没认识莱纳德之前我就住那个房间and now someone else is going to be living in it. 现在却有别人要搬进去住And that someone else is not me. 而那个别人还不是我And you know how I feel about people who aren't me.你也知道我对于不是我的"别人"作何感想There are a lot of memories wrapped up in that room. 我知道那个房间里充满了回忆For me, too. 对我来说也是The first time you told me you loved me was in that room. 你第一次说爱我就是在那个房间Wrong. 错We were standing outside my room in the hallway. 当时我们站在我房间外的走廊And there is the love of which I speak. 这就是我刚说到的爱I realize it's irrational, 我知道这样很不理性but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced. 但拉杰的入住让我觉得自己被取代了Well, this isn't an easy time for him. 现在对他来说是困难时期He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, 他公寓没了还欠了一屁股债he's probably humiliated. 他可能正羞愧难当呢Yes, probably. 是啊可能But until we know for sure, how can I feel better? 但在确定之前我该怎么才能舒坦呢Can I get anyone anything at all? 你们谁还需要什么吗Raj, you don't have to serve us. 拉杰你不用服务我们It's the least I can do for helping me carry my stuff up. 这是我该做的谢谢你们帮我搬我的家当上楼It was really no problem. 真的没什么大不了的Not for you, Box of Towels. 对你来说当然啦你只搬了一箱毛巾Anyway, thanks again. 总而言之谢谢你们Hey, look at that. 瞧瞧You've got a Raj, we've got a Stuart. 你们有拉杰我们有斯图尔特Maybe we should take them both to the park 或许我们该带他俩去公园and let them run around together. 让他们一起撒欢跑跑I don't know. Yours looks like he has worms. 我不知道你那只看起来身上有虫子You ready to go? 可以走了吗All set. 一切准备妥当What's that? 那是什么A housewarming gift for Raj. 给拉杰的乔迁礼物Well, a bunch of fake snakes better not spring out of it,最好不是一大堆假蛇突然从里面冒出来'cause that was a lousy anniversary present. 因为那是一份超烂的纪念日礼物It's nothing like that. 绝对不会I just, I thought about Raj's situation, 我考虑到拉杰现在的情况and I had a change of heart. 于是我改变了主意You know, and regarding your gift, 而且关于你的礼物you said "Surprise me," and, boy, did I. 是你自己说"给我惊喜" 而我的确"惊"到你了Perfect timing. Food's ready. 时间刚刚好食物都准备好了Uh, wait-- before we eat, I have a little 等等在开吃之前我有一份小小的"Welcome to the building" gift for Raj. "欢迎入住"礼物要给拉杰Wait, is anything gonna jump out... 慢着是不是会蹦出什么...No. I already asked. 不是我问过了Thank you, Sheldon. 谢谢谢尔顿It's a... blank notebook. 是一本...空白的笔记本Well, I had some of my best ideas in that room, 我曾在那个房间里想出过不少好点子and I'm sure you will, too. 我相信你也会的He also never had sex in that room. 他也未曾在那个房间里做过爱呢That's something else to look forward to. 那是另一件值得期盼的事情啊This means a lot. 这对我来说意义重大Well, I know this is a difficult time for you. 我知道现在对你来说是困难时期Y-You're losing your apartment, you're in debt, 你的公寓没了还欠了一屁股债and you just-- you must be humiliated. 你可能...肯定羞愧难当吧Sheldon... 谢尔顿Oh, good grief. 哎呀老天She is such a stickler for citing sources. 她真爱拘泥于细节非得注明出处Those were Amy's words. 那些都是艾米的原话Sheldon... 谢尔顿I know, I know! 我知道我知道"Good grief" was originally said by Charlie Brown, geez. "哎呀老天"是查理·布朗的原话真是够了他犯错或是遇到难题时的口头禅美国著名漫画《史努比》里的主人公You're right, I am humiliated. 你说得对我是羞愧难当Thanks for pointing it out. 多谢当面指出来You're such a jerk. 你真是个混蛋Can you believe this guy? 你们能相信他居然这么说我吗Yes. 能I-I thought that was gonna break the other way. 我还以为会听到另一种答案呢Come on, Sheldon. 走吧谢尔顿Maybe we should just eat at our place. 或许我们应该回自己公寓吃饭Fine. 好吧You took my room. 你占了我的房间You turned my friends against me. 你还让我的朋友跟我翻脸I hope you're happy. 现在你开心啦What do I have to be happy about? 我有什么值得开心的My life's a wreck. 我的人生一团糟How come he can say it and I can't? 为什么他可以说出来而我却不能Just keep walking. 快走吧你Hello, Sheldon. 你好呀谢尔顿What a pleasant surprise. 真是意外之喜呀How are you? 你好吗Honestly, I've been better. 老实说最近好多了Do you have time? 你有时间吗Leonard says you're very busy these days. 莱纳德说你最近很忙Oh, I just say that because he prattles. 我这么说是因为他爱闲聊What's going on? 发生什么事了Well, our friend Raj moved into my old room, 我们的朋友拉杰搬进了我的旧房间and it's brought up a lot of negative feelings for me. 这事导致我产生了很多负面情绪Well, what do you think the loss of your room represents? 你觉得失去你的旧房间代表了什么Beverly, you know I hold you in high esteem. 贝弗利你知道我十分敬重你Can we skip the part where you pretend not to know the answer,我们可以跳过你假装不知道答案的戏码and get to the part where you tell me the answer? 直接进入你告诉我答案的环节吗Very well, but, uh, if you don't mind, 好的但你不介意的话I'd still like to pause for effect. 为了戏剧化效果我还是要停顿一下Now... 现在嘛...You've recently moved in with Dr. Fowler, yes? 你最近和福勒博士同居了对吧I have. 没错Clearly, your old room represents an escape hatch, 显然你的旧房间代表了一个逃生出口and without it, you're forced to confront 倘若失去了这出口你就将被迫面对the terrifying reality of being trapped 和艾米永远生活in a relationship with Amy forever. 在一起的可怕现实I hadn't thought about that. 我从未想过这问题And don't start thinking about it now! 现在也别开始想Hello, Amy. 你好呀艾米Your defensiveness may indicate similar insecurities 你的这种防御表现似乎也在暗示about your relationship with Sheldon. 你对于这份感情有同样的不安全感That's not true! 才不是这样的She said defensively. 她极具防御性地说This isn't about me and Sheldon. 这不是关于我和谢尔顿的问题This is about Rajesh moving in with Leonard and Penny.而是拉杰要搬去和莱纳德还有佩妮一起住Interesting. 有点意思They've found a need to take yet another roommate. 他们发现自己需要再找一个室友了Seems they're avoiding some harsh realities themselves.看来他们也在努力回避二人世界中的残酷现实呀I had no idea 我真没想到all our relationships were such a disaster. 我们这些人的感情生活都是一团乱麻Boy, you're good. 唉呀妈呀你可真厉害That is the word on the street, dear. 道上的确都是这么传的Maybe moving in was a bad idea. 也许搬进来并不是个好主意I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems. 我屁股还没坐热就已经开始制造麻烦了You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon. 这不是你的错都怪谢尔顿"You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon." "这不是你的错都怪谢尔顿"That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow. 这句话太适合绣在靠垫上了So, relax. We're happy to have you. 放轻松我们很欢迎你来住Thank you, but how do I know 多谢不过我怎么知道you're not saying that just to be nice? 你不是为了安慰我才这么说的呢Do you actually pay for that haircut? 你怎么花钱剪了个狗啃似的发型That'll do it. 现在我知道了Hey, Raj, I owe you an apology. 拉杰我欠你一个道歉Look, could you please put your dog on a leash? 你能给你那狗拴个绳子吗Sheldon, she's fine. 谢尔顿我这狗不咬人Well, then at least hold her still 那你把她抱紧了so I can pretend she's stuffed. 我好假装她是个动物标本Raj, I let my emotions get the best of me, 拉杰我一时没控制住自己的情绪and I unfairly took it out on you. 乱拿你来出气Thank you. I appreciate that. 谢谢谢谢你这么说No, I can't take all the credit. 不功劳不在我身上I spoke with Leonard's mother, and she made me feel better. 我和莱纳德的妈妈聊了聊她开解了我I don't know who you talked to, but that wasn't my mother. 我不知道你和谁聊了但会开解人的一定不是我妈Beverly pointed out that I'm experiencing insecurities 贝弗利指出我在和艾米的恋爱关系中in my relationship with Amy, 存在不安全感in the same way that Leonard and Penny are in their relationship.就像莱纳德和佩妮也存在同样的问题What are you talking about? We're fine. 你在乱说什么呀我们俩好着呢Yes, you're fine as long as you have a buffer 你俩好着的前提是有一个缓冲人同住living with you to distract from your marital problems. 才能帮你们转移婚姻中出现的问题It used to be me. 从前我就是那个缓冲人It used to be me. 《星际迷航》中的外星毛绒生物Now it's Raj and his attack Tribble. 现在轮到拉杰和他的攻击性毛毛球了Anyway, I'm sorry for everything. 总之我很抱歉Oh, and FYI-- if you cry while they're fighting, 顺带一提如果他们吵架时你哇哇大哭they'll take you to McDonald's. 他们就会带你去麦当劳Hello, Leonard. 你好莱纳德Why are you saying we have marital problems? 你为什么说我们有婚姻问题呀We don't have marital problems! 我们才没有婚姻问题呢I see. You must be yelling at me out of wedded bliss. 我懂了那你是因为太过幸福美满才对我哇哇叫Look, just because we took our friend in does not mean 就因为我们收留朋友来住that Penny and I are afraid to be alone. 并不代表我和佩妮害怕两人独处Yeah, this is a special circumstance. 没错这次是特殊情况Sheldon mentioned you tried to get your brother 谢尔顿提到你也曾想让to live with you, as well. 你哥哥住到家里来Yeah, well, a circumstance can happen twice 是啊有些情况就算发生两次and still be special. 仍然可以算作特殊Do you agree with that? 你同意吗Well, now that you point it out... 既然你这么指出来...Are you kidding me? 你疯了吧We do seem to keep finding roommates. 我们好像真的一直在找新室友Now you're taking her side? 你现在和她站一边了吗Dear, I would never come between you and Leonard. 亲爱的我永远不会夹在你和莱纳德之间That's for your parade of roommates to do. 这是你们一加强连的室友的工作Howard? 霍华德Howard! 霍华德It's me! It's just me! 是我是我呀What are you doing here?! 你跑到我们卧室来干嘛Well, I texted you, but you didn't respond. 人家给你发了短信可你没有回复Leonard and Penny were arguing... 莱纳德和佩妮在吵架...Not on my watch! 本大爷在此谁敢撒野It's fine. It's just Raj. 没事了是拉杰You can hit him with the bat, but it's fine. 我不介意你拿球棒敲死他但我们没事And if my heart stops, just let me go. 如果我心跳停止了请让我放弃治疗I'm sorry, guys. 抱歉了各位Sheldon was upset, Leonard and Penny were fighting. 谢尔顿在生气莱纳德和佩妮在吵架I just wanted to go someplace where I wasn't causing problems.我只想待在一个不会造成别人问题的地方I'll say it again. 我要再说一次India. 你老家印度Can I just stay in the garage? 能让我住在车库吗Don't do that. We'll make up the couch for you 别这样今晚你先睡沙发吧and figure out something in the morning. 明早起来再想办法Thank you. 谢谢Come on, I'll get you some sheets. 来吧我帮你铺上床单Then we'll see if I can beat my high score 然后再测测我的血压on the blood pressure machine. 是不是冲上新高了Never should've had all these kids so close together. 咱们就不该把这些熊孩子留在身边You okay? 你没事吧I can't sleep. 我睡不着What's wrong? 怎么了Beverly believes 贝弗利觉得I unconsciously consider my old room an escape hatch.我潜意识中把我的旧房间当做一个逃生出口Is that bothering you? 你在为这件事烦恼吗Yes. I don't care for unconscious thoughts. 没错我才不喜欢什么潜意识呢My brain and I are best friends. 人家和大脑是一辈子的好朋友It should tell me everything. 它什么事都会告诉我I mean, how it relates to our relationship, 我是说和我们恋情的关系not the bromance between you and your brain. 不是你和你大脑的兄弟浪漫史What if she's correct? 万一她是对的呢Doesn't that say something troubling about us? 就是说我俩之间有问题吗I don't know. 我不知道I just think you're the kind of person 我只是觉得你是喜欢安排好who likes a contingency plan. 应急计划的人That is true. 这倒是Did you know I figured out 你知道吗in which order I would eat all my friends 我已经想清楚了世界末日来临后in the event of an apocalypse? 我会按什么顺序吃掉所有朋友You need to stop hanging out with your brain so much.你不可以再和你的大脑整天混在一起了It's not a good influence. 它就是个坏朋友If you're looking for spare change, 如果你是想找零钱I already cleaned it out. 我已经扫荡干净了Didn't think this is where my life would be. 没想到我的人生会变成这样Me, either. 我也是I'm in a bedroom and you're on a couch. 我有卧室你睡沙发I'm actually winning. 我居然是赢家You know, we're both down on our luck. 咱俩都正走霉运Maybe you and I should try to get a place together. 也许我俩应该找地方一起住Okay, listen to me. 听我说There is no reason to leave here. 根本没理由离开这里This is great. Everyone's nice. 这里很棒所有人都很友好It's comfortable. 非常舒服If all goes according to plan, this is my retirement home. 如果一切按计划进行这里就是我的养老院了Wouldn't you feel better about yourself 如果你更加独立的话if you were more independent? 不会自我感觉更好一些吗Better than I feel in their steam shower? 比在他们家蒸汽淋浴里的感觉更好吗I don't think so. 我觉得不会Penny would be the entree. 佩妮是主菜Then Leonard's basically a cheese course. 莱纳德算是奶酪盘And because I love you, you're dessert. 因为我爱你所以你是甜点I want to say "Aw," 我也想说"好甜蜜"but I'm gonna say "Ew." 但我要说"好恶心"No, you see, I'm doing this 不我这样做so I can stop being spoiled and, you know, 我就不再是被宠坏的孩子了grow as a person. 成长为一个成年人Good for you. 好样的This sandwich has six dollars worth of ham in it. 这个三明治里有价值6块钱的火腿Don't you even feel a little bad sponging off your friends? 你在朋友家吃白食你一点点内疚感都没有吗Hey, look, I went to art college, 我上过艺术学院I tried to make it as a graphic artist, 我想成为美术设计师a comic book artist, 漫画家and you know what I got for my efforts? 知道我努力得到了什么吗A visible rib cage. 瘦骨嶙峋I'm not kidding. 我没开玩笑You could see my heart beating. 你可以看到我的心跳Well, no offense, but I didn't go to art school. 无意冒犯但我没上过艺术学院I have a PhD in astrophysics. 我有天体物理学的博士学位Oh, great, it'll be easier for you to look up at the stars 很好流落街头时头上没有屋顶without a roof over your head. 你观星更容易Morning. 早Did you know Raj moved out last night? 你知道拉杰昨晚搬出去了吗What? Why? 什么为什么"Leonard and Penny, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. "莱纳德和佩妮抱歉我带来了这么多麻烦I went to stay at Howard's. 我去霍华德家住P.S., Cinnamon's with me, 另外小桂子和我在一起But if you feel like messing with Sheldon, 但如果你们想耍谢尔顿tell him she's loose in the building." 就告诉他小桂子在楼里走丢了"I feel terrible. 感觉好糟糕啊Should we go bring him back? 我们要接他回来吗Well, you're the one worried 是你担心有室友having someone live with us is a sign of problems. 是我们婚姻有问题的表现Oh, that was just because my mother got in my head. 那只是因为我妈让我有了这种想法It's like being possessed, but instead of Satan, it's-- 就好像恶魔上身了但上身的不是恶魔而是...Actually, it's the same thing. 其实没差别啦All right, so we'll ask him to come back. 好的那我们叫他回来Well, great. 很好Don't you want to get dressed first? 你不先换衣服吗Just one second. 稍等Help! Cinnamon's loose in the building! 救命小桂子在楼里走丢了Amy, quick, lock the door! 艾米快锁门We're so sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable. 如果我们让你难受真是抱歉We really weren't fighting about you. 我们吵架真不是因为你I just never want to be a burden on my friends. 我只是不想成为朋友的负担Me, either. Don't want to be a burden. 我也是不想成为负担Hey, is that the baby? I'll go check. 是孩子的声音吗我去看看You are not a burden, 你不是负担and we want you to come back and stay with us. 我们希望你回来一起住But I also upset Sheldon, 但我让谢尔顿不高兴and he's not gonna want to come over if I'm there. 如果我住在那里他不会去你们家的More reasons for you to stay. 这是你更应该来住的原因Halley's fine. 哈雷没事You know she's at my parents' house, right? 你知道她在我父母家呢吧And she's having the time of her life. 她正享受着人生中最美好的时光If you ever want to change things up, 如果你想改变一下you're always welcome here. 我家随时欢迎你Just not in our bedroom, you dumbass. 别来我们卧室就成白痴I appreciate it, but I think 非常感谢但我想staying with Leonard and Penny makes more sense for everyone. 住莱纳德和佩妮家对大家都更有利- Then it's settled. - And just so you know, -就这么定了 -告诉你一声it's only temporary. 这只是暂时的I'm not gonna get too comfortable. 我不会太给方便就随便的Good. 很好Nobody needs a mooch living in their house forever. 谁家都不想要一个吃一辈子白食的Hey, that's no way to talk about your baby. 这样说你家宝宝可不好You know what? I'm proud of us. 知道吗我为我们感到骄傲Yeah, with Penny and Leonard taking in Raj, 佩妮和莱纳德收留了拉杰and Stuart living with Howard and Bernadette, 斯图尔特住在霍华德和伯纳黛特家we're the only couple of our social group 我们是这个小团队中唯一一对who doesn't need to fill the holes 不需要用第三者in their relationship with a third party. 填补关系中大坑的人Yup, we're killin' it. 对我们完胜。

第一季13集The Bat Jar Conjecture----(Bat Jar 猜想)-Howard：Mody tells about the new Star Trek film. 这儿有关于新一部星舰迷航电影的消息。

There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth. 将会有一幕拍摄Spock出生的情景。

(“星舰迷航”主人公之一是Vulcan族)-Raj：I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock'sconception.我对Spock受精时的情景更感兴趣。

-Sheldon：Oh, please. 得了吧。

For Vulcans, mating—or if you will, Pon Fahr-- 对于瓦肯人来说，交配-- 或者你想说 PonFahr--It's an extremely private matter. 这都是极端隐私的。

-Leonard：Still, I'd like to know the details. 不过我还是想知道细节。

His mother was human. His father was Vulcan. 她妈妈是人类他爸爸是瓦肯人。

They couldn't just conceive. 他们两个不可能就简简单单的受孕了。

-Howard：Maybe they had to go to a clinic. 也许他们只好去诊所，Can you imagine Spock's dad in a little room with a copy of Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears. 你能想象Spock的爸爸一对尖尖的耳朵和匀称的臀部，在一个小房间里...-Raj：How comes on Star Trek everybody's private parts are the same 为什么"星舰迷航"里每个人的私处都大同小异呢No alien lady ever told Captain Kirk, Hey, get your thing out of my nose. 从没一个外星女士对Kirk舰长说过，嘿，把你那玩意儿从我鼻子里抽出来。

在"阿凡达"里面潘多拉星球的人做爱Okay,in A vatar,when they have sex on Pandora,就是把辫子结合在一起也就是说they hook up their ponytails,so we know their ponytails 他们的辫子就像生殖器一样are like their junk.对啊... 所以呢?Y eah... so?所以他们骑马或者骑鸟So,when they ride horses and fly on the birds,也是用他们的辫子they also use their ponytails.你到底想说什么?What's your point?我想说如果我是马或者鸟My point is,if I were a horse or a bird,在詹姆斯·卡梅隆身旁肯定紧张死了I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.你真是奇怪It amazes me how you constantly obsess总是沉迷于一些科幻细节over fictional details现实生活中when there are more important things有更重要的事值得考虑in the real world to worry about.比如为什么威廉·夏特纳For example,why wasn't William Shatner没有出演新的"星际迷航"呢?in the new Star Trek movie?嘿SheldonHey,Sheldon.我刚才在楼上行政办公室I was up in the administration office,碰巧听到了and I happened to overhear今年科学领域the name of the winner校长奖得主的名字of this year's Chancellor's A ward for Science.你是想拿我的贡献又被忽略这件事And you want to rub my nose in the fact来让我难堪?that my contributions are being overlooked again? 我就是理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳I am the William Shatner of theoretical physics.好吧洗耳恭听All right,I'll play.今年他们又把奖给了哪个What self-important,preening fraud自以为是洋洋自得的骗子?are they honoring this year?噢很高兴你这么问就是你Oh,I'm so glad you asked it like that. Y ou.- 我得奖了? - 你得奖了- I won? - Y ou won.我得奖了!I won!太令人鸡冻了This is astonishing.倒不是因为是我得了奖... 没人比我更该得这个奖Not that I won the award... no one deserves it more. 其实是我说错了Actually,I guess I misspoke.不是鸡冻是必然It's not astonishing,more like inevitable.我应该先干嘛呢I'm not sure what to do first.可能应该先打电话告诉我妈妈Maybe I should call my mother.等等! 我知道了... 我要先自我采访一下Wait! I know... I'm going to conduct an interview再传到网上去with myself and post it online.好事啊Well,good for him.是啊这个理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳Y eah,the one thing the William Shatner是需要再自负一点of theoretical physics needed was an ego boost.是不是感觉那长矛Didn't it look like that spear直接刺穿你的头骨?was going to go right through your skull?没觉得No.嘿你在7-11便利店不买思乐冰饮料Hey,you didn't want a Slurpee at 7-Eleven,就没有3D眼镜赠品you don't get glasses.噢肯定又有人打电话来祝贺我了Oh,that will be another congratulatory call for me. 嗯静音Uh,mute,please.等等等会... 火焰箭来了Wait,wait. Hang on... flaming arrow.你好?Hello?噢Morton校长近来可好先生?Oh,Chancellor Morton,how are you,sir?是啊我在等您的电话Y es,I was expecting your call.三年前Three years ago.我知道了I see.等等如果我不发言会怎么样?Wait. What happens if I choose not to give a speech? 嗯嗯Uh-huh.那如果我不想奖励被没收呢?And if I don't want to forfeit the award?你想的办法倒是简单Well,you've got that tied up in a neat little bow.好吧All right.谢谢了Thank you.出问题了Problem.怎么啦?What?他们希望我在颁奖晚会上发言They expect me to give a speech at the banquet.我可不会I can't give a speech.不是吧你搞错了Well,no,you're mistaken.你整天都在发言Y ou give speeches all the time.你不会的是闭嘴What you can't do is shut up.对啊看电影之前Y eah,before the movie,你就鳄梨沙拉酱为什么变黄演讲了20分钟you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown. 它就是在你长篇大论的时候变黄的It turned brown while you were talking.和少数人说话我还挺自在的I am perfectly comfortable speaking to small groups. 但是人多了我就说不出来了I cannot speak to large crowds.你觉得怎么样算人多?What,to you,is a large crowd?人多到可以踩死我就算多了Any group big enough to trample me to death.一般来说就是36个大人或者70个小孩General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children. Sheldon 祝贺你啊Sheldon,congratulations.我从餐厅里给你带了奶酪蛋糕Brought you a cheesecake from work.是庆祝你获奖了Y ou know,'cause of your award,不是因为餐馆工在上面打了喷嚏not because a busboy sneezed on it.- 我不领奖了- 为什么?- I'm not accepting the award. - Why not?没想到伟大的Sheldon Cooper也会怯场吧Turns out the great Sheldon Cooper has stage fright. 这可不是退缩的借口That's no reason to back out.我以前在高中也得到过一项荣誉Y ou know,I once got a pretty big honor当时我也很怕in high school,and I was terrified在众人面前亮相about appearing in front of a big crowd,但是我克服了结果呢but I went through with it,and you know what?作为漂亮女王团的一名成员The world looked pretty darn good坐在福特F-150车后头的干草堆上sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150我感觉世界美得不得了as a member of the Corn Queen's court.谢了Thank you.对了我要是被提名为乡下人和平奖Y eah,I'll bear that in mind我肯定记住你的话if I'm ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize. Sheldon 你太荒谬了Sheldon,you're being ridiculous.我有吗?Am I?给你们说个故事吧Let me tell you a story.上哪儿去找需要的70个小孩?Where's 70 children when you need them?我14岁的时候以Summa cum laude从大学毕业I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college. "Summa cum laude" 是拉丁语"最高荣誉"的意思"Summa cum laude" is Latin for "with highest honors."我特别喜欢你总是直接跳过I just love how you always skip没人发问的地方over the part where no one asks.我作为学生代表要致告别辞I was valedictorian and expected to give an address.直到现在我都还记得当时Even now,I can remember that moment我走上讲台注视人群when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd. 肯定有好几千人There must have been thousands of people.我的心扑通扑通直跳My heart started pounding in my chest.结果我呼吸过猛I began to hyperventilate.视线开始模糊之后就...My vision became blurry,and before I knew it...噢天哪Oh,dear.噢上帝啊Oh,my God.Sheldon啊?Sheldon?Sheldon 你没事吧?Sheldon,are you okay?别踩着我了Don't trample me.得了吧母亲大人Come on,Mother.你明明知道我为啥不能接受那个奖Y ou know why I can't accept the award.恕我直言我没觉得祈祷能帮上啥忙With all due respect,I don't think praying will help.不我没听过"主啊请掌控这命运之轮"这首歌No,I have not heard the song,"Jesus,Take the Wheel." 停停停停停停No,no,no,no,no,no,no.你不用给我唱Y ou don't need to start singing it.是的我自己会去iTunes下载的母亲大人Y es,I'll buy it on the iTunes,Mother.再见母亲大人Good-bye,Mother.你们好Hello.快坐下Sit down.我们想和你谈谈We want to talk to you.我犯错了吗?Am I in trouble?我妈给你打电话了?Did my mother call you?快坐吧Just sit.我们觉得能帮你克服怯场We think we can help you with your stage fright.哦是吗Oh,I doubt that.我比你们都聪明I haven't figured out a way,但仍未想出解决方案and I'm much smarter than all of you.没错但一个诸葛亮却抵不过三个臭皮匠Y es,but you're not smarter than all of us put together. 哦抱歉Oh,I'm sorry.我就是那个意思That is what I meant.算了总之你的问题是Okay. Y our problem is,你想单靠自己来解决这个问题you're trying to do this all by yourself.我们可以帮你做你的后备We can help you. We can be your team.就像X教授和他的X战警Like,uh,Professor Xavier and his X-Men.我的确喜欢X战警I do like the X-Men.我看过X战警吗?Did I see X-Men?我们上周才看过啊Y eah,we watched it last week.你还说你很喜欢Y ou said you liked it.哦亲爱的我说过很多东西Oh. I say a lot of things,sweetie.那么Sheldon 你觉得如何?So,how about it,Sheldon?不知道I don't know.如果你们是我的X战警那你们有什么样的能力?If you're my X-Men,what are your powers?嗯我可以带你购物Okay. Well,I am going to take you shopping,买套体面的西服get you a nice suit.为你增添信心Might give you more confidence.这又不是什么突变让你能That's not exactly a mutation that would get you进入X教授为天赋异禀的少年而设的学校算了继续吧into Xavier's School for Gifted Y oungsters,but go on. Leonard呢?Leonard?我能试着分析你I thought I could try to analyze you找出怯场的根源and get to the root of your anxiety.你有资格了解我的脑内结构吗?What qualifies you to attempt to understand my mind?我老妈是个德高望重的精神科医生My mother is a highly regarded psychiatrist,自从她说我过于依赖母乳后and I've been in therapy ever since she accused me而且我就一直在接受治疗of breast-feeding codependently.Raj说他能教你...Raj says he can teach you...叫啥名字?What did you call it?没明白... 反正是一些印度冥想之类的邪门偏方I don't know... some Indian meditation crap.懂了I see.好吧鉴于其他人Well,I assume,since the rest of you的办法都不怎么高明我假设have set the bar so low,you're saving你把最出彩的留着压轴the most impressive contribution for last.说吧HowardGo ahead,Howard.给我点惊喜Dazzle me.我的能力就是假装My power is the ability to pretend不知道你有那个怪毛病like I give a damn about your piddily-ass problems.老兄这可是全天候服务啊And that's 24-seven,buddy.我很感谢你的伪装And I appreciate the pretense.那么Sheldon 你觉得如何?So,what do you say,Sheldon?我们足够成为你的X战警吗?Are we your X-Men?不行No.X战警是以Charles Xavier的姓氏首字母命名的The X-Men were named for the "X" in Charles Xavier.我叫Sheldon Cooper 自然得叫C战警(与"精液"谐音)啦Since I am Sheldon Cooper,you will be my C-Men.哦这名字真瞎Oh,that's not a good name.好了SheldonOkay,Sheldon.我将要引领你I'm going to be leading you进入一系列冥想练习through a series of meditation exercises.这套方法源自古代印度的宗教领袖These methods come from the ancient gurus of India 用来帮助克服自身的恐惧and have helped me overcome my own fears.可你到现在还不能跟女人讲话And yet,you can't speak to women.没错但多谢冥想我已经能True,but thanks to meditation,I am able to stay和女人们共处一室且不会紧张到要小便in the same room with them without urinating.现在... 请闭上你的眼睛Now... close your eyes.可以但别打我Okay,but don't punch me.啥?What?小时候我妹妹跟我说When I was little,my sister would say to me,"闭上眼睛我给你一个惊喜""Close your eyes,you'll get a surprise,"然后就打了我一拳and then she'd punch me.我不会打你的I'm not going to punch you.我妹以前也这么说That's what my sister used to say.你还想不想做了?Do you want to do this or not?抱歉继续I'm sorry. Proceed.很好All right.想象你身处在一个地方Imagine yourself in the one place能让你有家的感觉you feel most at home.在哪儿?Where is that?模拟城市(热销游戏)Sim City.更具体地说是我设计的模拟城市...More specifically,the Sim City I designed..."谢耳朵大都市"Sheldonopolis.好吧你在"谢耳朵大都市"Okay,you're in Sheldonopolis.能否再具体点?Where exactly?"谢耳朵广场"? 还是"谢耳朵塔"?Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers?还是"谢耳朵勇士"的大本营"谢耳朵体育场" ? Sheldon Stadium,home of the Fighting Sheldons?你爱哪儿哪儿去Whatever you like.我还以为这是引导冥想呢I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.好吧你在"谢耳朵广场"Fine. Y ou're in Sheldon Square.真的吗? 这个时间点?Really? This time of year?可能会很冷啊It's a bit nippy.那你不会穿件毛衣Then,put on a sweater.那就假设我跑到商业区Suppose I could run downtown在"谢尔玛"(音似沃尔玛)买了些东西and pick up something at Shel-Mart.随便啦快去买件毛衣就行了Y eah,whatever. Just go buy a sweater.知道吗"谢尔玛"的好处就是是我开的Y ou know,the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, 所以我能打85折so I get a 15% discount.行那个破店是你开的Y ou own the damn thing.赶快去买件毛衣吧!Just take a freaking sweater!拜托上一季度我获得的盈利Look,I didn't turn a profit last quarter可不是随便卖卖库存就能做到的by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.好了All right.你已经买了毛衣这会儿在"谢耳朵广场"上Y ou've paid for a sweater,and you're in Sheldon Square. 等下Hang on.我买了件开襟羊毛衫得先把扣子扣好It's a cardigan. I have to button it.哦糟了Oh,no.又怎么了?What now?一只哥斯拉模样的怪兽走过来了A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city.我要保护我的人民I have to get my people to safety."谢耳朵大都市"的市民们我是市长先生People of Sheldonopolis,this is your mayor.快跟我走Follow me.小孩们跑不动就算了扔下吧If the children can't run,leave them behind.哦原来是假想恐怖!Oh,the simulated horror!Raj 人呢?Raj?唉早就料到了Just as I suspected.冥想完全就是废话连篇Meditation is nothing but hokum.我很怀疑你的假设I question your premise.一件新西服怎么能起到防止How is a new suit going to prevent me我在舞厅所有人面前不晕倒呢?from passing out in front of a ballroom full of people? 它可以给你增加信心It'll give you confidence.每当有什么事情压得我透不过气时Y ou know,sometimes when I'm feeling all stressed out 我便出去逛街买件可爱的上衣about something,I go out and buy a cute top或是件好玩的裙子之后我就有了崭新的生活观or a fun skirt and I have a whole new outlook on life.难道你最后没发现Don't you eventually realize穿上可爱上衣穿上好玩裙子后you're just the same stressed out person还是饱受压力困扰吗?in a cute top or a fun skirt?买好鞋子后我会有这种感觉Y eah,that's when I buy shoes.来看看这都有些什么货Now,let's see what we've got.噢!Ooh!这件不错This is nice.可是单色的It's only one color.是的咋了?Y eah,so?才一种颜色的衣服哪里值这么多钱That's a lot of money for only one color.好吧Fine.你自己挑选你喜欢的好了Why don't you pick out what you like.嗯Hmm.这件穿上挺像犀利哥的This is pretty sharp.像你个大头鬼No. Y ou're wrong.这件太棒了This is great.六岁时我有件一模一样的I had a suit like this when I was six.好了这件一定可以了吧Okay,I think we have a winner.你从哪翻出来的这玩意?Where the hell'd you find that?就舞会专柜那In the prom department.太荒唐了It's ridiculous.亏你还是漂亮女王团的前成员(该团成员的着装偏好白色) Says the former member of the Corn Queen's Court.求你试试这件吧Please just try this one on.好吧Okay.反正我现在穿啥But anything I put on now你都会指责一大通is only going to suffer in comparison.这也太荒唐了This is absurd.简直就是个小丑I look like a clown.那么Sheldon...So,Sheldon...近来可好?how you doing?你的心理治疗谈话就这样开篇?That's how you start a psychotherapy session?"近来可好?""How am I doing?"你可是承诺说要在我的潜意识里I was promised a riverboat journey带我进入丛林中开始一段河船冒险之旅into the jungles of my subconscious.结果你跟我说的话与在Ralph意式餐厅Instead,I get the same question I hear为我切大红肠的女服务生的话是一样的from the lady who slices my bologna at Ralph's.抱歉我重来I'm sorry,I'll start again.先诉说我做的梦的话对你是不是有帮助?Would it be helpful to you if I told you about my dreams? 不清楚也许会吧Um,I don't know,maybe.我最近做了一个梦我是个巨人I recently had a dream that I was a giant.但周围的事物也变的无比巨大But everything around me was to scale,看上去没什么异常so it all looked normal.如果周围事物都变大的话How did you know you were a giant你是怎么发现自己成了巨人的?if everything was to scale?我穿的裤子是一百万码的I was wearing size a million pants.我们还是正常聊天吧?Why don't we just talk?好的Ah.纯粹的聊天The talking cure.经典弗洛伊德派真好Classical Freudian. Good choice.如果这样有助于快点解决问题的话If it will help speed things along,我的标准罗夏墨迹测验(弗洛伊德的经典投射法人格测验)答案是uh,my answers to the standard Rorschach inkblot test areA一只蝙蝠 B 一只蝙蝠A) a bat,B) a bat,C 一只蝙蝠C) a bat,D 我爸用皮下注射针头杀害了我妈and D) my father killing my mother with a hypodermic needle.还是我来说吧?Why don't I just start?有时候Sometimes人们拒绝赞扬people have trouble accepting accolades是因为潜意识里觉得自己配不上if,on a subconscious level,they don't feel they deserve them.你有没有觉得现在我们就是这种情况?Do you think maybe that's what's happening here?你说呢Leonard?Really,Leonard?你是又想用阿德勒的"自卑情节"学说Y ou're just going to try to recycle Adler's doctrine来忽悠我了?of the inferiority complex?那我还不如去找Ralph意式餐厅那位服务生呢I could probably get that from the woman at Ralph's.她还会让我免费试吃几块奶酪呢And she'd let me taste some pieces of cheese for free.但那或许就是你的结症所在But it could be part of your problem.我给你举个例子吧Let me give you an example.当我八岁的时候When I was eight,我做了一个叫"听古典音乐能加速菜豆的生长"的实验I won a ribbon at the science fair在科学展览得了奖章for my project,"Do Lima Beans Grow Better to Classical Music." 可我妈说那不过是But my mother pointed out我哥作品的老调重弹that it was just a rehash of my brother's earlier他的实验是"听摇滚音乐能减缓菜豆的生长""Do Lima Beans Grow Worse to Rock & Roll."我觉得很内疚便把奖章还了回去I felt so guilty,I gave the ribbon back.哦你是什么感觉呢?And how did that make you feel?糟透了Terrible.我做那个实验花了好大力气I worked really hard on that project.为了等菜豆发芽I stayed up all night singing the clown's aria from Pagliacci我唱了一夜歌剧"丑角"中的"小丑咏叹调"to a lima bean sprout.继续诉说Go on.又不是我的错It wasn't my fault.我从没看过我哥的项目I had never seen my brother's project.我妈本可以提前告诉我And my mother could have told me before而不是在颁奖仪式上当着所有人的面前instead of at the ceremony in front of everyone.哦我能听出来So,I hear you saying你很生你妈的气you're angry with your mother.太对了我是生我妈的气Damn right,I'm angry with my mother.看在上帝的份上那年我才8岁For God's sake,I was eight years old.她当众羞辱了我She humiliated me.就是从那时起我又开始尿床了That's when the bed-wetting started again.谢谢你LeonardThank you,Leonard.谢我什么?For what?如果像你这样受过如此打击的人If someone as damaged as you每天都能从床上爬起来面对生活can find his way to crawl out of bed each morning,那我也能应付一个简单的颁奖仪式I think I can face a simple award ceremony.等等这就完了?Wait,that's it?我想着我们要进行一整个小时呢!I thought we had a whole hour!女士们先生们晚上好Good evening,ladies and gentlemen.我是Leonard Hofstadter博士My name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter,很荣幸能够在这里介绍本年度and it is my very great honor to introduce the winner总理科学奖的获奖者of this year's Chancellor's A ward for Science我最好的朋友Sheldon Cooper博士and my good friend,Dr. Sheldon Cooper.在介绍他之前But before I do,我想先和各位分享一封来自I'd like to share with you a letter from Sheldon's mother, 今晚不在场的Sheldon的母亲的信who couldn't be here tonight.很温馨吧?Isn't that nice?他母亲还专门写了封信His mother sent him a letter.她为他而自豪She's proud of him.我多希望自己也能有这种经历I wonder what that feels like.总之Anyway,"亲爱的Shelly""Dear Shelly."这是她对他的爱称That's what she calls him.Shelly... 这是小名Shelly... it's a pet name.你们知道我母亲给我取的小名是什么吗?Y ou know what my mother's pet name for me is? 就是LeonardLeonard.跑题了哈But I digress."亲爱的Shelly...""Dear Shelly..."哦天啊Oh,dear.怎么了?What's the matter?我有点儿晕了I'm getting dizzy.别紧张Don't worry.你的C战警就在你旁边Y ou're surrounded by your C-Men.我不行了I can't do this.我要晕倒了I'm going to faint.给喝点儿Here,drink this.会让你放松点儿It'll relax you.酒?Alcohol?我不喝酒I don't drink alcohol.那就算了晕吧Fine,faint.没什么变化I don't feel different.这酒是次品This alcohol is defective.来试试这个管用不Here,see if this one works.首先First of all,这两个实验完全不一样the projects were totally different.我是想表现出I was showing用古典音乐培育菜豆可以that classical music nurtures lima beans促进它们生长但是我妈妈and makes them grow,but my mother根本不听我的didn't hear me.如果你们想知道If you'd like to look at the relationship培育和生长的关系我要说明的是between nurturing and growth,I'd like to point out我哥哥足足比我高了八英寸!that my brother is eight inches taller than me.我准备好了I'm ready.喔Oh.好的Right.女士们先生们有请我们的贵宾Ladies and gentlemen,our guest of honorSheldon Cooper博士Dr. Sheldon Cooper.谢谢啦小矮个接下来就是我的时间啦Thanks,shorty,I'll take it from here.好的你们想要找点儿乐子吗?All right,you people ready to have some fun?你们懂不懂Y ou have a basic微分的基本概念?understanding of differential calculus有没有至少学过一年的代数拓扑?and at least one year of algebraic topology?好的我要开始讲笑话了Well,then here come the jokes.小鸡为什么要穿麦比乌斯圈(拓扑学中的单面环)? Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?为了去同一边... 对了!To get to the same side... bazinga!下一个一个中子走进一家酒吧问道All right,a neutron walks into a bar and asks,"一杯酒多钱?""How much for a drink?"酒保说"对你免费"(与"无电荷"谐音)The bartender says,"For you,no charge."在听吗?Hello?我知道你们就在那I know you're out there.我可以听到你们在呼进氧气I can hear you metabolizing oxygen呼出二氧化碳and expelling carbon dioxide.在座有很多学术界的权威人士Looks like we have some academic dignitaries in the audience. 地理系的Randall博士...Dr. Randall from the geology department...[跟take for granted谐音]唯一一位别人说他"花岗岩脑袋" 也很开心的少有之人only man who's happy when they take his work for granite.哈哈哈!Ba-da cha!我开地理学家的玩笑呢I kid the geologists,of course,只是因为我对这个领域很不屑but it's only 'cause I have no respect for the field.接下来我们严肃点Let's get serious for a moment.我们为什么会在这里?Why are we all here?因为我们都是科学家'Cause we're scientists.科学家研究什么呢?And what do scientists study?宇宙The universe.宇宙是由什么组成的呢?And what's the universe made of?很高兴你们问了这个问题I am so glad you asked.[The Element's Song 化学元素周期表歌]* 它含有锑啊** There's antimony ** 有砷啊铝啊硒啊** arsenic,aluminum,selenium ** 有氢啊氧啊氮啊铼啊** and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium * * 还有镍啊钕啊镎啊锗啊** and nickel,neodymium,neptunium,germanium *大家一起来!Everybody!* 有铁啊有镅啊** and iron,americium ** 有钌啊铀啊铕啊锆啊** ruthenium,uranium,europium,zirconium,** 有镥啊有钒啊** lutetium,vanadium *亚裔唱!Just the Asians!* 还有镧啊锇啊** and lanthanum and osmium ** 有砹啊有镭啊... ** and astatine and radium... *Penny Leonard啊Penny,Leonard.你们能不能回答我Would you be able to answer some questions昨晚发生了什么?I'm having about the events of last night?好的Sure.第一个问题...Question one...我的裤子呢?where are my pants?你可以上Y ouTube看看Y ou might want to check Y ouTube.搜什么?What do I search?已经缓冲好了直接播放吧It's already loaded. Just hit play.好的现在我们开始探讨数学吧All right,people,let's get down to the math.是三维思想It is only three dimensional thinking限制了我们的想象that limits our imagination.我能从头上把裤子脱下吗?Can I take my pants off over my head?当然不行Of course not.上身挡着呢My body's in the way.[视频名：物理学家斯文扫地]但是如果可以进入更高维度But if we had access to higher dimensions,我们就可以通过四维we could move our pants around our bodies让裤子在身体周围移动through the fourth dimension我们就要告别脱裤子的时代了and our days of dropping trousers would be over. 哦天哪...Oh,Lord...丢脸丢到家了This couldn't be any more humiliating.继续放Give it a minute.接下来Now,for the astronomers在座的天文学家准备好in the audience,get ready to see来看看月球的另一面吧the dark side of the moon.[Uranus 谐音your anus菊花]还有天王星呢And here's Uranus.。

Can we start the movie? 能开始放电影了吗Before Sheldon gets here? 在谢尔顿到之前就开始吗Last time we did that, he didn't talk to us for a month. 我们上次这样他足足一个月不跟我们说话So do it! 还不快放Hold on. Where is he? 等等嘛他在哪呢Well, according to his text, he was on the second floor, 根据他的短信他刚才到二楼了then he stopped to tie his shoe. 但他得停下绑鞋带All tied, and... 绑好了准备...-Hi.大家安安-- Hello! - 你回来啦Sorry we're late. 抱歉我们迟到了Amy took forever tying my shoe. 艾米绑我鞋带的速度慢死了All right! 好的Who's excited to see a documentary? 有谁对看纪录片感到很兴奋啊Oh, I know this one. 这题我会Nobody ever. 从来没人Hey! This one's going to be great. 别这样这部绝对会很赞This is about the rivalry 这部是在讲between a cool renegade scientist, Nikola Tesla, 离经叛道酷炫科学家尼古拉·特斯拉and his arch-nemesis, Thomas Edison. 与宿敌托马斯·爱迪生之间的仇恨It's the greatest scientific feud of all time. 这是科学界最赞的一段宿怨I mean, you can forget about Leibniz and Newton.莱布尼茨跟牛顿之间的血海深仇都可以忘了莱布尼茨的微积分数学符号被更广泛地使用都曾独立发明微积分为谁先发明有过剧烈争执Done. 已忘So, Tesla's the one that invented the electric car? 特斯拉是发明电动汽车的人吗No, Penny. 佩妮不是的No, the car is just named after him. 那牌子的车只是以他的名字命名而已Okay, you don't have to be so smug about it. 行行行你也不需要拽成这样吧You know, you went to see that movie It 你去看恐怖片《小丑回魂》because you thought it was about scary I.T. Guys. 还是因为你以为电影是讲恐怖程序员呢because you thought it was about scary I.T. Guys. 英文片名为《It》与I.T.相近Tesla was a genius who invented our electrical grid. 特斯拉是发明了我们的输电网络的天才Edison just wanted to get rich and famous. 而爱迪生只是想捞钱与博名气Didn't he invent the lightbulb? 他不是发明了灯泡吗That's what he wants you to think. 他就想你这么以为But without the foundational work of Ebenezer Kinnersley, 但如果没有如埃柏奈泽·肯纳斯理Warren de la Rue and James Bowman Lindsay, 沃伦·德拉鲁与詹姆士·鲍曼·琳赛打下的基础you wouldn't know Edison any more than you know 你对爱迪生的认识并不会多过你对Ebenezer Kinnersley, Warren de la Rue 埃柏奈泽·肯纳斯理沃伦·德拉鲁or James Bowman Lindsay. 或詹姆士·鲍曼·琳赛的认识Isn't he sexy all fired up? 他燃起来时是不是特性感He really gets my current alternating, 跟他之间的交流电到了我if you know what I mean. 懂我的哏吗if you know what I mean. 特斯拉是交流电之父Edison was kind of a publicity hog and a bully. 爱迪生就是个沽名钓誉的恶霸Yeah, he electrocuted an elephant named Topsy 他电死一只名为托普西的大象just to make himself famous. 就为了让自己出名用交流电电死了这只因伤人被判死刑的大象爱迪生为了将特斯拉的交流电与恐怖做连结If I had an elephant named Topsy, 如果我有一只叫托普西的大象he would want for nothing. 我会让它生活优渥衣食无忧Also, he'd be named Jumbo. 还有他的名字会叫小飞象And worse than that, Edison filmed the first on-screen kiss, 更差的是史上首个接吻影片是爱迪生录的so he's basically a pornographer. 他基本上就是个拍黄片的Although every time I put that in Wikipedia, 不过每次我想把这话加进维基百科someone takes it out. 都会被别人删掉Is your current still alternating? 你现在还电气满满吗We're lucky there aren't any elephants in here. 幸好这里没有大象否则...You know, that documentary last night was actually 昨晚那部纪录片-Really?其实比我想象中要来的好看呢-- better than I thought it would be. - 真的吗Should've been about Samuel Morse 就那影片的结尾方式[电报]the way they telegraphed that ending. 按理说应该讲萨缪尔·摩尔斯才对the way they telegraphed that ending. 发明了电报用的摩尔斯电码I already pretended to laugh at that joke once. 我已经为这笑话假笑过一次了Do I have to do it again? 我们一定得再来一次吗Yeah, I'd appreciate it. 你能配合就再好不过了Samuel Morse. You kill me. 萨缪尔·摩尔斯要被你笑死了Leonard, can you drive me to work? 莱纳德你能开车带我去上班吗Yeah, sure. Oh, hey, the guys and I 可以啊对了我们几个were talking about going to see the Tesla coil 说到晚一点要去格里斐斯天文台at the observatory later on, if you want to join. 看特斯拉线圈要不要一起来Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm busy. 抱歉去不了我有事- Why? What are you doing? - Leonard, what are you doing? -怎么了你要干嘛 -莱纳德你才要干嘛He said he can't go. Make a sad face, move on. 他说他去不了摆出哭哭脸就完事了It's fine. 没关系I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. 我就是想告诉你也不行-Leonard!这话什么意思-- What does that mean? - 莱纳德Sad face, sad face. 哭哭脸哭哭脸I mean, I would like to, but I just can't, you know, 我很乐意说但我不行你懂的because it's classified and top secret. 因为这是最高机密Hold on, are you still working for the military? 等等你还在为军方工作吗I'm so glad you figured that out! 你想出来真是太好了It was killing me keeping it a secret! 保密真是要把我给憋死了I thought they fired you guys. 他们不是炒了你们吗They did, but then they hired me back. 是啊但是他们又重新雇了我Well, you better not be working on our project, 你最好不是在弄我们之前的项目because we're a team. 因为我们可是团队Leonard, there is no "I" in team. 莱纳德 "团队"两字里无"我"However, there is an "I" in 但是"我为军方干活"I'm working with the military and you're not." 而你机会被我剥夺喔"这句里就有"我" There's five of them, in fact. 其实有五个发音带"呜哦"的字呢I got a big surprise for you. 我有个大惊喜给你Is it pie and ice cream? 是派跟冰激凌吗Wow, did I oversell it. 看来我是牛皮吹大了It's Raj and Ruchi! 是拉杰跟如琪- Hello. - Hey. Hi. -你好啊 -我们来啦Hey, what are you two doing here? 你们两个怎么来啦We won't stay long. 不会打扰你太久I just wanted to drop something off 我就是来送给你from me and the girls at work. 我跟公司姑娘们送你的小礼物None of the girls at work like me enough to get me a gift.公司的姑娘们没人喜欢我到愿意送我礼物Okay, so you'll know why everyone at the office 那这样你就能理解为什么办公室里has the same handwriting. 所有人都是同样的笔迹了I really appreciate the thought, 很谢谢这份心意but it's not necessary. I'll be back soon. 但不用这么客气我很快能重回岗位Don't worry about work. You take all the time you need. 不用担心工作你需要休息多久就多久Yeah, just turn off your brain 对啊就关闭你的大脑and let your uterus do its magic. 让你的子宫施展它的魔法就行It's the star of the show now. 它现在是这场表演的主角了Okay, wasn't sure how long I should let you guys stay. 好了本来不知道该让你们待多久Now I know! Get out! 现在知道了出去Good to see you. You look amazing. 很高兴看到你你看起来气色很好Thanks for coming! 谢谢你们来探望我That bitch. 这臭三八Oh, come on, he means well. 别这样拉杰也是一番好意He's just trying to impress his girlfriend. 他也就是想让女朋友觉得他人好I'm talking about Ruchi. 我是在骂如琪She's after my job. 她想抢我饭碗Why do you think she said, "Take all the time you need"?不然她干嘛说"你需要休息多久就多久"Because she was being nice? 因为她人好啊No, she's trying to steal my projects while I'm at home 才不是趁我在家相夫教子taking care of this useless plant and my dumb family. 养这破盆栽时抢走我的项目I'm only saying this because I love you 我说这话是因为我爱你and because you can't reach me from that bed, 而且你从床上那里打不到我but you sound a little crazy. 但你听起来有点神经病I love you, too, but I could fling this card in your eye 我也爱你但我也可以把这卡片当成like a ninja throwing star. 忍者手里剑来射爆你狗眼I don't believe you. 我才不信你Why would the military want Sheldon? 为什么军方会想要谢尔顿啊I don't know. Target practice? 我不知道啊让他当靶子吗Well, he better not be working on our guidance system. 他最好不是在搞我们的导向系统That was my idea. 那可是我的点子Why don't we call Colonel Williams 我打给威廉姆斯上校and find out what's going on. 问问到底是什么情况吧Great. I want answers and he'd better give them to us. 很好我想要真相他最好乖乖回答Hello, gentlemen. 两位好Hi, sir. Um, Leonard has a question. 长官莱纳德有问题问你Hey, is Sheldon working on our project again? 谢尔顿是不是又在做我们之前的项目Did he say that? 他这么说了吗No, he wouldn't tell us. 没他不愿意告诉我们Huh. So he can keep his mouth shut. 原来他是能闭上嘴巴的How do I get him to do that? 那我该怎么做才能让他闭嘴呢Is he working on our guidance system or not? 他到底有没有在做我们的导向系统项目Dr. Cooper contacted us with an idea on how to modify 库珀博士联系了我们说到了一个your technology into a communication system, 修改你们的技术来把它变成通信系统的点子and it seemed interesting. 而这点子听起来不错But our team developed that technology. 但这技术是我们团队开发出来的And he was your team leader. 而他是你们团队的领导Well, who said he was team leader? 谁说他是负责人了He did. 他说的And I like that kind of "take charge" attitude. 我喜欢那种"掌控大局"的态度We can have "take charge" attitudes. 我们也可以有"掌控大局"的态度啊Then why didn't either of you ask to be team leader? 那你俩怎么都没提出要当小组负责人呢We didn't want to step on anyone's toes. 我们不想冒犯到其他人Yeah, so we were just waiting for you to 对我们在等你告诉我们tell us who you thought-- Okay, I hear it. 你认为谁... 好吧我听出来了- Are we done? - No, no. -说完了吗 -还没I am taking charge right now and telling you 我现在就要掌控大局告诉你that it is not okay with us if... 我们很不满意你...Okay, bye. 好吧拜Hey. I just got your text. Everything okay? 我刚收到你的短信没出什么事吧Yeah, there's just something I need to ask you. 没事只是有一件事想问你Oh, Bernie, I'd be thrilled. 妮妮我会高兴死的It's not be my birth coach. 不是要叫你当我的生育教练Okay, that hurts, but luckily I know how to breathe through it. 伤心了但幸好我懂如何调整呼吸撑过去I need you to find out if Ruchi's trying to steal 我要你查出如琪是否想趁我卧床休养时my projects at work while I'm on bed rest. 抢走我的研究项目She's not that kind of a person. 她不是那种人She's-she's generous and charitable. 她慷慨大方乐善好施You're just saying that 'cause she's sleeping with you. 你这么说纯粹是因为她愿意跟你睡Yes, that's my favorite charity. 对啊这是我最喜欢的善举I know I sound paranoid, but I'm feeling really vulnerable. 我知道感觉很多疑但我真的感到很脆弱If there's anything you could find out, it'd be great. 要是你能查出点消息那就太好了And if she is up to anything, what are you gonna do? 如果她真的有企图你打算怎么做Nothing. 什么都不做I'll just calmly talk to her and explain 我只会平静地跟她谈谈there are certain boundaries that need to be respected. 解释清楚有些界线是不能踩的It's really for the benefit of everyone at the company. 这都是为了公司里的大家好Uh, okay, what you're saying sounds nice, 你的话听起来无害but the way you're saying it 但你说话的语气is causing my testicles to take cover in my abdomen. 让我的蛋蛋都吓得缩进小腹了What do you want to watch? 你想看什么Oh, why don't you pick. 你来选吧Okay, how about comedy? 好啊喜剧怎么样Eh, I already laughed today. 我今天已经笑过了I know. It was when I stubbed my toe. 我知道在我踢到脚趾头时Still funny. 还是很好笑Drama? 剧情片呢Nah, I've already seen someone cry today. 不了我今天已经看过别人哭了It really hurt, Sheldon! 当时真的很疼谢尔顿We talked to Colonel Williams. 我们和威廉姆斯上校谈过了He told us everything. 他全都告诉我们了I'm sorry, can we do this another time? 不好意思能不能改天再说这个Amy's just about to realize she wants to watch a Hulk marathon.艾米快要意识到她想看浩克系列电影啦What's going on? 出什么事了Sheldon went to the Air Force behind our backs. 谢尔顿背着我们偷偷去找空军I did nothing of the sort. 我才没做这种事I had an idea 我有个想法for a neutrino-based communication system, 一种基于微中子的通讯系统I presented it to them, and they were interested. 我告诉了他们他们很感兴趣But y-your communication system 但你的通讯系统was based on our guidance system. 是根据我们的导向系统制造的And sonar is based on bats. 声呐也是根据蝙蝠制造的You don't see them hanging upside down 你也没见他们倒挂在in a patent attorney's office. 专利律师的办公室里啊You know what, you like to think that you're just like Tesla, 你知道吗你喜欢把自己比作特斯拉but the truth is you're exactly like Edison. 但事实就是你跟爱迪生一模一样You take that back. 这句话你收回No, he's right. 不他说得对You are a bully, a credit hog and a self-promoter. 你就是个爱抢功劳自我吹捧的恶霸And if anyone around here is like Tesla, it's us. 要说这里真有谁像特斯拉那也是我们Yeah. 就是啊Can you believe they said I was just like Edison? 你敢相信他们说我跟爱迪生一模一样吗Yeah, and in front of a lady, no less. 而且还当着一位淑女的面Well, you are building on their work 你确实是在他们的研究基础上继续发展and taking the credit for it. 还把功劳揽上身That's a classic Edison move. 这是典型爱迪生会干的事Oh, yeah? 是吗Well, if I'm Edison and you love me, 如果我是爱迪生而你爱我then what does that say about you? 那这说明你又是什么人呢I honestly don't know. 老实说我真的不知道Okay. 好吧Well, I have to Google some stuff about Mrs. Edison. 我得上网去查查爱迪生太太了I'll be right back. 我去去就回You know whose fault this is? 你知道这是谁的错吗I do. 我知道Yours. 你的错No, my mother's. 不是我妈的"Go make friends, Sheldon." "去交朋友吧谢尔顿"What happens? 结果呢20 years later, they call me names. 20年后他们给我起绰号骂我I don't think what they called you is the point here. 我觉得他们叫你什么不是重点Oh, yeah? How would you feel 是吗那要是我用你不喜欢的if I called you the name of a neuroscientist you didn't like? 神经系统科学家的名字来叫你你会作何感想Do you know the name of any neuroscientist? 你知道任何神经系统科学家的名字吗Of course. 当然了Not me? 除了我之外Then no. 那就没了Do you think they're right, Amy? 你觉得他们是对的吗艾米Do you think I'm like Edison? 你觉得我像爱迪生一样吗Sheldon, I don't think you're upset 谢尔顿我觉得你不开心because of what kind of scientist they said you're like. 不是因为他们说你像哪种科学家I think you're upset because 而是因为your friend'' feelings got hurt. 你的朋友们内心受伤了You're right. 你说得对I care too much about other people's feelings. 我太在乎别人的感受了It's always been my fatal flaw. 这向来是我的致命弱点Sheldon, I don't think... 谢尔顿我觉得不...No, no, not now, Amy. I'm growing as a person. 先别说话艾米我正在成长呢Ah, that was fun. 刚才真爽Put her there, buddy. 伸出你的小拳拳I am not fist bumping you after we have sex. 我才不要跟你睡完后击拳庆祝呢You're the one who wanted to keep things casual. 是你说想保持玩玩的关系There's a difference between casual and weird. 玩玩和怪异是有区别的Not the way I do it. 对我来说没有So, um... how was, how was your day? 你今天过得怎么样Like, how's-how's work? 工作顺利吗Oh, great. 很好With Bernadette gone, 伯纳黛特走了之后I'm getting to handle all her projects. 她的项目都由我负责了Well, she's-she's not gone. 她不是走了She'll be back soon. 她很快会回来Not too soon, let's hope. 但愿不会太快So it turns out Ruchi is totally 原来如琪真的想trying to take over Bernadette's projects. 抢走伯纳黛特的项目Wow, she just told you that out of the blue? 她就突然告诉你了吗Yeah, yeah, we had just made love. 是啊我们当时刚做完爱It was so beautiful. 画面太美Our caramel-colored bodies 我俩焦糖色的胴体were entwined like erotic taffy... 像色情的太妃糖般交缠在一起Get to the point! 说重点Uh, sorry, uh, yeah. 抱歉I-I asked her about work, and she just admitted 我问起她的工作她就承认了she has her eyes on Bernadette's projects. 她在觊觎伯纳黛特的项目Can't believe she would take advantage 真不敢相信她会这样of a pregnant lady like that. 占一个孕妇的便宜So what did you do? 那你做了什么What do you think I did? 你说呢I made small talk for 20 minutes and had sex again. 我跟她闲聊了20分钟后又再打了一炮You have to say something to Bernie. 你一定要告诉妮妮I don't know. If I do that, she's gonna confront Ruchi, 我不确定要是我告诉她她一定会质问如琪and then Ruchi's gonna stop sleeping with me. 如琪就不会再跟我打炮了Raj, you can't go on sleeping with a woman 拉杰你不能继续睡一个who's trying to screw over your friend. 想搞死你朋友的女人Can't or must? 不能还是必须You know, that guidance system was my idea. 那个导向系统是我的点子You figured out how to make it work. 是你想通了该如何实现We didn't even need Sheldon. 我们根本就不需要谢尔顿Let's not forget your idea was based on my theory. 别忘了你的点子是建立在我的理论上的Hey, we're bagging on Sheldon here! Focus! 我们正在骂谢尔顿呢专注点I guess it was pretty smart using our quantum technology 他能想到用我们的量子技术as the basis for a communication system. 作为通信系统的基础还是挺聪明的Be even better if he swapped out the helium for xenon. 如果他把氦替换为氙效果会更好Ooh. So instead of having to keep it at negative 271 degrees,那样就不需要将温度保持在零下271度you'd only have to keep it at negative 108. 而是零下108度就行了It would be way more efficient. 这样就更高效了And xenon has a bigger nucleus, 氙有更大的核so coherence would make it an easier signal to see. 其相干性会让它的成为更易发现的信号You're brilliant! 你真是天才We should tell Sheldon. 我们应该告诉谢尔顿You're an idiot! 你真是傻蛋We don't tell Sheldon. 我们才不要告诉谢尔顿We go to the military behind his back 我们背着他偷偷联系军队and we screw him like he screwed us. 就像他背叛我们一样背叛他All right, you're right, you're right, we don't need him. 你是对的你是对的我们不需要他We can do this all on our own. 我们可以自己来- Do you think you can do the math? - No. -其中的运算你能行吗 -不行But if someone else does it, 但如果其他人算出来了I can double check the crap out of it. 我绝对能狠狠验算一遍I want you to know, I did what you asked. 我想告诉你我按你的吩咐去做了I talked to Ruchi and found out what's going on at work. 我和如琪聊了工作上的事So is she trying to steal my projects? 所以她是想尝试盗取我的项目吗No, not trying to, sounds like it's a done deal. 不不是尝试是差不多已经得到了Here, have a brownie. 来吃块巧克力蛋糕吧I'm gonna kill her. 我要杀了她Okay, don't take this out on Ruchi. 好啦不要记恨如琪Is she trying to take your job? Yes. 她是想偷走你的工作吗是的Is she parking in your space? Yes. 她现在都停在你的车位吗是的Did she get a laugh at a meeting yesterday 她在昨天的会议上取笑by calling you "Pregnadette"? Big one. 你是"博纳带球" 好笑吗笑成一片But you would've done the exact same thing, and you know it. 但你也会和她做同样的事你自己清楚I never would've undermined a coworker. 我才不会在同事背后捅刀呢What? Oh, please. Wh-What about that guy Eric, 什么少来还记得那个艾瑞克吗who you told it was "Bring Your Cat to Work Day" 你明明知道老板有哮喘when you knew your boss had asthma? 还故意骗他说有"带猫上班日"That was just a hilarious prank 我只是想捉弄他that ended with me getting a corner office. 谁知道我因此得到了大间的办公室呢All I'm saying is before you attack Ruchi, 我想说的是在你攻击如琪之前maybe you should take a long hard look in the mirror, 也许你应该在镜子里好好看看自己because you know what you'll see-- 因为你会看到apart from radiant skin and luxuriously thick hair? 除了你闪亮的皮肤和奢华浓密的金发之外Hypocrisy! 有一个虚伪小人It is thick. 确实浓密So what do you think? Can you make it work? 你觉得如何你能算出来吗Uh, I just need to use the cross section 我只需要用横截面to calculate the probability of the interaction. 算出相互作用的概率Can we help? 我们能帮忙吗Yes. 可以Why don't you run get me a can of Pringles. 帮忙我去买一罐品客薯片吧Leonard, I was-- 莱纳德我...What's Kripke doing here? 克里普奇在这里干什么Oh, he's just helping us develop a better, more efficient 他正在帮我们开发一种更好更高效的neutrino comm system that we're gonna pitch to the military, 中微子通讯系统我们就能联系军队making yours obsolete. 彻底打垮你Yeah, Leonard thought of it. 没错是莱纳德想出来的-非常Oh, thanks.- It's genius. - 谢谢-聪明You see, instead of using liquid helium... 我没有用液氦而是用...- Good God, man, shut up! - Right, sorry. -妈呀快闭嘴 -对不起You didn't tell me we were doing this just to stick it to Sheldon.你没说算这个是为了整治谢尔顿呀Oh, well... 那个...I messing with you. This sundae just got a cherry on top! 逗你玩呢这不是锦上添花吗Fine. Good luck to you. 好吧祝你们好运The military is already interested in my system, 军方已经对我的系统感兴趣了and my math is worked out. 我的运算也都完成了His still has a big gap in it. 他的运算中还有一个大空白Where? 在哪里There. 就这儿Can I ask you a question? 我可以问一个问题吗Does a drug still count as an antidepressant 如果一种药的头号副作用是让人不停地哭if its number one side effect is uncontrollable weeping? 它还能算是抗抑郁剂吗I don't know. I always feel better after a good cry. 不知道反正我每次哭完都觉得好爽I've been trying to ask Bernadette, 我一直想问问博纳黛特的意见but she's not answering any of my texts. 但她完全不回我的短信Yeah, uh, listen, I think she might be a little threatened by you, you know, 听着我觉得她有点被你威胁到了because you can tie your own shoes and laugh without peeing. 因为你能系自己的鞋带大笑时不会漏尿Did she say something to you? 她对你说什么了吗No. 没有I mean, well, kind of. 好吧说了一点But it's okay. She's just hormonal. 不过没事的她是荷尔蒙作祟And, you know, don't worry, I stood up for you. 你也别担心我为你说话了I don't need you to stand up for me. 我才不需要你为我说话呢You're not my boyfriend. 你又不是我男朋友Look, I care about you, 我很关心你and you can say that this doesn't mean anything, 你也可以说这一切不代表什么but the truth is we're in a relationship, okay? 但事实上我俩算是在交往中And you're gonna have to figure out some way to deal with it. 总有一天你得想出办法面对这事I can't believe she dumped me. 真不敢相信她居然把我甩了This is tough for me, 'cause I can. 我完全能相信啊Sorry things worked out like that. 抱歉事情最后变成这样Because I'm in pain or because you don't have a spy anymore?因为我痛苦分手还是因为你失去了一个间谍Let's just leave it at "I'm sorry." 你知道我很抱歉就够了You're already sad. 你已经够伤心了Based on Kripke's calculations, 根据克里普奇的计算I think this is gonna work. 我们应该能成功Maybe we should pitch it to Colonel Williams today. 也许我们应该今天去跟威廉上校说说Why limit ourselves to the U.S. Military? 干嘛把自己局限于美国军队呢I bet there's a lot of other places we could take this. 肯定还有很多人想要我们的项目呢Without committing criminal espionage? 我是说不会被当成间谍抓起来的那种You know, it's easy to shoot an idea down, Leonard. 打击别人的想法不要钱是吧莱纳德Well, I suppose congratulations are in order. 我想我应该恭喜两位了You set out to destroy me, and you achieved your goal. 你们想打击我你们成功了What are you talking about? 你在说什么呢The military canceled my project, 军队取消了我的项目because they're going with yours. 因为他们要和你们合作了That's impossible. We haven't even pitched it yet. 不可能我们根本还没联系呢Well, Colonel Williams said another team at Caltech 威廉上校告诉我加州理工的另一个团队came up with a more efficient neutrino comm system. 开发出了更高效的中微子通讯系统Damn it! 我去Excuse us. 我们离开一下Kripke. 克里普奇What's up, fellas? 怎么了各位Did you screw us over? 你背叛了我们吗Ooh, I can't tell you that. 哇我可不能告诉你It's classified. 这是机密Why did you tell Barry Kripke your idea? 你们干嘛把点子告诉巴里·克里普奇This is all your fault. 这都怪你俩No, it's your fault. 不是你的错If you would've come to us in the beginning, 如果你一开始就和我们联手none of this would've happened. 这些烂事就不会发生了Well, if it helps, you all behaved terribly 如果能安慰到你们的话你们都做错了and you deserve what you got. 你们自食恶果完全活该Well, that doesn't help at all. 完全没安慰到You know, sometimes your social skills are very poor. 有时候你的社交技巧真是令人发指Can't believe we let Kripke use us like that. 真不敢相信我们被克里普奇利用了You know, maybe you're all more like the guy 也许你们都更像那个who didn't invent the electric car 电动汽车以他为名却不是他发明的家伙and less like the guy who didn't invent the lightbulb. 而不像那个其实没发明灯泡的家伙吧She's right. Maybe we're all a bunch of Teslas after all. 她说得对也许我们全都是特斯拉Didn't Tesla die penniless, forgotten and insane?特斯拉最后不是默默无闻地死于贫穷和癫狂吗You may have a point about her social skills. 你对她社交技巧的评价太到位了He wasn't insane. 他才没有发疯He did fall in love with a pigeon. 他的确有爱上了一只鸽子Well, if we're gonna call Tesla crazy 如果特斯拉喜欢小小丑丑的东西for loving something small and unappealing, 就要被说成是疯子的话might as well put Penny in a padded cell right now. 不如马上把佩妮关进疯人院吧。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory. 《生活大爆炸》前情提要Hello. 您好I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz. 我来找霍华德·沃罗威茨May I ask what this is about? 我能问一下你找他有什么事吗No, you may not. 不能问Very well. 是的官爷Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you? 威廉姆斯上校有什么需要我效劳的吗Okay, sure, I can meet with you on Thursday. 当然周四见面没问题Caltech is fine. 约加州理工学院也没问题Yeah, and may I ask what this is about? 好我能问问是什么事吗I may not? 不能啊That's what he said to me. 他也是这么对我说的That's what he said to me. 时至今日Look at this. 瞧瞧Elon Musk has a theory that we're all just characters 埃隆·马斯克有个理论我们每个人in some advanced civilization's video game. 都只是某高等文明的电玩游戏中的角色So some alien kid spent his money 所以有某个外星小孩花钱on the asthma-and-glasses upgrade for me? 来帮我升了气喘加近视眼的特性吗Well, he doesn't say it's a good game. 他没说是个好游戏啊- All right, we got a problem. - What's up? -咱们有麻烦了 -怎么了The Air Force contacted me about our quantum gyroscope. 空军对我们的量子陀螺仪有兴趣- They want to have a meeting. - Really? -他们想见面谈谈 -真的吗Yeah. This military guy showed up at Howard's door. 对啊有个军队的人来到霍华德家找他He was terrifying. 他可吓人了Oh, what did he say? 他说什么了He gave me his business card 他给了我他的名片and asked me to please pass it along to Howard. 然后请我把名片转交给霍华德That doesn't sound terrifying. 这听起来不吓人啊To a white guy born here, no. 土生土长的美国白人当然不觉得If you are a brown guy whose name has a lot of syllables in it -- 但如果你是棕色皮肤名字带很多音节的话terrifying. 胆都吓破了好吗You realize if the military declares our research classified,你知道如果军方宣称我们的研究属于机密they can take the whole thing away from us. 他们可以直接把整个研究拿走吧And if that happens, 如果真发生这种事we'll never be able to sell it commercially. 我们就永远不能卖做商用了There goes our big payday. 就跟这一大笔钱说再见了I was counting on that money-- 我还指望拿到这笔钱呢I need to make as much as my wife 我的收入得跟我老婆持平so I don't have to try so hard in bed. 这样我在床上才不用这么拼死拼活You do that, too? 你也要这样吗Oh, yeah. How do you think I stay this thin? 当然不然你觉得我怎么保持这么瘦的Gentlemen, I think we are losing sight of the real issue. 先生们我们都忽视了真正的问题We are on the precipice of becoming faceless cogs 我们离成为军工业集合体中in the military-industrial complex. 无名无姓的小齿轮只有一步之遥了Isn't that exciting? 这难道不让人激动吗You're kidding, right? 你是在开玩笑吧Not at all. In Star Wars, when the stormtroopers 才不是呢像《星球大战》中那些风暴兵would march in perfect formation, 以完美的队形行军harassing civilians, didn't you ever think, 前往骚扰民众时你难道没有想过"Hey, that could be me"? "我也能成为这伟大军团的一员"吗Sheldon, we could be contributing 谢尔顿我们可能成为to a weapons system that oppresses mankind 未来几千年迫害人类的武器系统的for the next thousand years. 幕后元凶呢Okay, Howard's on board. What do you think, Leonard? 好的霍华德同意加入你呢莱纳德I'm worried about Howard. 我好担心霍华德啊Ever since that guy from the Air Force showed up, 打从军队的人来家里找他后he's been a nervous wreck. 他就被吓到尿不停All right, we work at a giant pharmaceutical company. 我们在一个大型制药公司上班Get him some anti-anxiety meds. 给他搞几片抗忧郁药吃吃啊He won't take any pills that aren't chewable 他不愿意吃除了摩登原始人咀嚼维生素片and shaped like a Flintstone. 以外的任何药物You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious 每当莱纳德感到焦虑的时候I make him take a long walk. 我就让他散步久一点Does that help? 这招有效吗Well, for a while. Then he comes back. 有效时间就一会儿然后这烦人精就回来了- I don't believe this. - What's wrong? -真是不敢相信 -怎么了This guy from the office just congratulated me on being pregnant.有个男同事发消息来恭喜我怀孕了You did already know, right? 你本来知道自己怀了孕的对吧No one at the office did. 但是同事都不知道啊- Did you tell anyone? - No. -你有告诉任何人吗 -没有You told me not to. 你不让我跟别人说I bet it was Barbara Chen in retrovirus. 肯定是搞逆转录病毒的芭芭拉·陈传出去的She might have heard me throwing up one morning. 她貌似某天早上有听到我在孕吐Every since she got the hearing aid, she thinks she's so great. 自从她装助听器后她就觉得自己可牛逼了Why don't you want anyone to know? 你为什么不想别人知道呢'Cause I'm up for a major immunotherapy study, 因为我有机会做一个免疫疗法研究的大项目and if they find out I'm pregnant 如果他们发现我怀孕了they might give it to someone else. 可能就会把机会给别人了Would they really do that? 他们真的会这样吗I know they would-- they did it to Barbara Chen last year 肯定会啊去年芭芭拉就是这么被换掉when I told everyone she was pregnant. 因为我爆料说她怀孕了Wait till I Snapchat that my friends might be working 我要发条朋友圈说我的好朋友们on a top secret government project. 为政府的机密项目做事Are you crazy? 你是不是疯了You can't put that on Snapchat. 你怎么能把这事写到朋友圈Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman. 好吧那我写到过时几百万年的脸书上吧You know, maybe before our meeting we should talk to a lawyer. 或许应该在会面前找个律师谈谈That's not a bad idea. 这主意不差Well, you must have someone in your family that's a lawyer. 你家族里肯定有人是律师吧Why? Because I'm Jewish? 为啥就因为我是犹太人吗That's like me saying, "Hey, you're Indian. 这就跟我说 "你是印度人Doesn't your cousin work in a call center?" 你肯定有亲戚在电话客服中心工作吧"My cousin does work in a call center. 我还真有亲戚在电话客服中心工作And my cousin's a lawyer. 我也真有亲戚是律师We don't need Howard's cousin, no. 我们不需要霍华德的亲戚帮忙We have me. 咱们有我啊You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a know-it-all. 谢尔顿你不是律师你只是爱耍聪明I am not a know-it-all. 我才不是耍聪明I'm a person who knows lots of things 我只是个上知天文下知地理and likes to correct other people when they're wrong. 还喜欢在别人犯错时热心纠正他们的人That's the definition of being a know-it-all. 这就是所谓爱耍聪明的人啊Or in German, a Besserwisser. 或是德文里的"砖家"How did you think you were gonna hide your pregnancy?你怎么能觉得你能瞒住你怀孕的事实I had a plan-- I kept leaving Dove Bar wrappers around 我有整套计划我一直有四处留下巧克力棒包装to explain any weight gain. 来解释我为什么发福了Where did you get empty Dove Bar wrappers? 那你是上哪去弄的空巧克力棒包装纸From all the Dove Bars I ate! I'm pregnant! 当然是我吃完故意留的包装啊老娘怀孕了Try to keep up! 用点脑想想好吗I'm sorry. I-I have to go find out if my boss knows. 抱歉我得去看看我老板发现没Well, whatever happens, we're here for you. 无论如何我们都会支持你Thanks. You guys are the best. 谢谢你们最好了Yeah, drive safe. We love you. And give us a call... 开车小心我们爱你到了打电话... Oh, my God, it was me, it was me! 要死了是我是我传的I'm the one who blabbed she was pregnant! 是我大嘴巴告诉别人她怀孕的- What?! - I didn't mean to. -什么 -我不是故意的It just slipped out in front of her assistant one day. 就有天不小心跟她的助手说溜嘴了I... I forgot my coat. 忘了拿外套Oh! Here's your coat, honey. 来亲爱的外套拿去That's such a cute jacket. 这外套太萌了God, I feel so bad-- I just lied to her. 天啊我好内疚我又骗了她Oh, but you did it so well. 但你演技入木三分That's amazing! 真是太厉害了It's like watching a sculptor, 感觉像在看一个雕塑大师but your clay was lies. 但你用的材料是谎言Is that really what's important right now? 现在的重点难道该是挖苦我吗I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain 我是说认真的你得让我扫描你大脑when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up. 看看你撒谎时哪些区域会亮起That's super helpful, Amy. 你这席话我受益良多Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that. 谢谢你全家啊真想立刻让你扫描I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here. 我从这里就能看到一团臭三八细胞亮起Give me a second to call my cousin. 等我一会我打给我律师亲戚I don't see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale 我想不出远在佛州劳德代尔堡的税务律师could be helpful regarding intellectual property. 怎么能对知识财产权方面提出有用建议First of all, he's in Boca Raton, 首先他是在佛州的博卡拉顿which is better than Fort Lauderdale. 那里比劳德代尔堡上档次多了But more importantly, 更重要的是he lasted two days on Jeopardy, 他上益智游戏节目撑了两天没被淘汰so he's clearly a smart guy. 很明显他就是个聪明人Hello. 你好Hey, Marty. Thanks for talking to us. 马蒂谢谢你愿意跟我们聊啊Hey, no problem. 小事一桩Thanks for going to outer space so no matter what I do 真是"感谢"你上了太空这下无论我干啥my mom will be disappointed in me. 我妈都会对我感到失望Well, I married a little Catholic girl, so we're even. 但我没娶信犹太教的老婆也算扯平了Anyway, this is Leonard and Sheldon. 这位是莱纳德这位是谢尔顿The three of us came up with the guidance system. 我们三个一起想出了这个导向系统- Hi. - Hello. -你好 -你好And this is my friend, Raj. 而这位是我的朋友拉杰Oh, I'm not on the patent. I'm just here 专利跟我无关我在这里because there's a bumblebee in my office. 是因为我办公室里有只大黄蜂I saw it. It's big. 我有看到真的很大只Anyway, like I said in the e-mail, 总之呢如同我电邮里所说this meeting's on Thursday. 见面定在这周四Do you have any advice for us? 你有什么建议可以给我们吗Well, I don't know much about patent law. 我对专利法了解不多But, uh, my advice is: 但我的建议是hear them out, offer as little information as possible, 听听他们怎么说有关信息尽量少说and whatever you do, don't sign anything. 无论如何绝对别签任何东西"Don't sign anything"? That's your advice? "别签任何东西" 这就是你的建议吗Okay, so, uh, if during this meeting, 好吧所以如果在会面中one of us were to, say, complete an oil painting, 我们其中一个人画了一幅油画之类的you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned? 你是在建议我们不要在上面签上名吗That's not what I meant. 我不是这个意思That's what you said. 你话就是这么说的That's not what I meant. 但我不是这个意思This must be how you practice law in Boca Raton, 你就在博卡拉顿这么当律师的吗by saying things you don't mean 说着词不达意and meaning things you don't say. 言不由衷的话Howard, why is he yelling at me? 霍华德他为啥要对我嚷嚷All right, you were on Jeopardy. 好吧你上过益智节目Allow me to Alex Trebek 让我学学主持人this and put it in the form of a question: 并把这件事用节目上的问题形式表达Who has been a complete waste of our time? 在座是哪个垃圾在浪费我们的时间呢Marty, let me call you back. 马蒂晚点打给你Someday, when I'm up on murder charges, 某天我因为谋杀"某人"被控诉时you'll be hearing from me. 我会打给你You don't need him. I'll represent you. 不用找他我来当你律师- Hi. - Hey. What brings you by? -我来啦 -你怎么来了Oh, had to go to a sales seminar on our new sleeping pill.去参加我们新款安眠药的销售研讨会了- Oh. How was it? - Great. -研讨会如何 -很棒啊- Fell asleep? - In, like, two minutes. Yeah. -睡着了吗 -开场两分钟就睡着了吧So, how is everything going around here? 一切情况还好吗Are you still upset about people finding out you're pregnant?还在为大家发现你怀孕这事不开心吗I'm furious. 我真要气炸了Sure, sure. 当然肯定的Uh, did you ever figure out who told? 你查清楚是谁说出去的吗No. I confronted Barbara Chen, but she claimed 没我去找芭芭拉·陈对质了但她说she didn't know what I was talking about. 她完全不知道我在说什么Well, I guess it's just gonna remain a mystery, 看来这事只能是未知的谜团了you know, like whatever happened in that seminar 就像研讨会把灯调暗后发生的事after they dimmed the lights. 对我也是未知的谜团It had to be Barbara. 绝对是芭芭拉I've been trying to figure out a way to get back at her. 我刚就一直在想办法报复她Do you think using her work computer to Google 你觉得用她工作用的电脑上网搜"How to be a prostitute" is over the line? "怎么下海当鸡"会太过分吗Uh, you know, when I was in high school, 其实呢在我高中的时候there was this girl who was talking about me behind my back, 有个姑娘在我背后说我坏话so me and all my friends, 所以我跟我朋友们we cornered her in the bathroom and forgave her. 把她围在厕所的角落然后原谅了她What kind of revenge is that? 这算哪门子的报仇啊This woman screwed with my job. She's got to pay. 这臭娘们破坏我工作我得整死她Okay, all right, honey, you know what? 好吧亲爱的其实呢There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday, 我有一件昨天没胆跟你说的事a-and now... I'm just balls-out terrified to tell you, but... 而现在我还是怕得要死不敢告诉你其实...the truth is it... 真相是...wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me. 大嘴巴的不是芭芭拉是我I'm the reason everyone knows. 是我让大家都知道的Why did you do that? 你为什么要这么做Well, it was an accident. I am so sorry I lied. 不小心说漏嘴嘛很抱歉我撒谎了Get out. 出去Oh, you know, I also lied about the girl in the bathroom. 对了厕所女同学的事我也撒谎了Yeah, we actually dumped her retainer in the toilet 是的我们其实把她的牙套保持器扔进了马桶and put it back in her mouth. 然后又塞回她的嘴里I don't understand why I can't talk at this meeting. 我不懂为什么会面时我不能说话'Cause when you talk, it enrages people. 因为你一开口就会激怒别人Okay. 好吧Quick question. 快问快答Am I allowed to exchange pleasantries 我能跟这位上校upon meeting this colonel? 在会上寒暄一下吗Yes. 准了Am I allowed to inform him 那我能告诉他that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military? 桑德斯上校并不是真正军队出身的吗that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military? 肯德基创始人上校称号是肯塔基州给他的荣誉称号I'm getting enraged. 你正在激怒我Fine. 好吧Can I use text-to-speech software? 我能用文字转语音软件吗- No! - Don't speak. -不行 -就不要说话Aw, nuts. 啊哇靠Gentlemen! 男士们I'm Colonel Williams. 我是威廉姆斯上校Thank you for meeting with me. 感谢抽空与我见面- Hi. - Hello. -你好 -你好So, which one of you is the brains behind all this? 你们中的哪一位是这个项目的主要设计者It's a group effort, 这是大家共同努力的结果but I guess if we had to pick a main brain, it would be me. 但如果非得选一个主力那应该是我吧And because of the quantum vortices, 因为量子涡旋this can run perpetually? 这玩意就具有永动性吗Exactly. 完全正确Yeah, you have a good grasp of the physics. 看来你很懂物理嘛- Well, I'm a scientist by training. - Really? -我是被培训出来的科学家 -是吗You're a physicist? 你是物理学家吗Better. I'm an engineer. 比那强我是工程师Where did you go to school? 你是哪里毕业的MIT. 麻省理工Oh. Well, hey, me, too. 真巧我也是I should have known. 我早该知道Behind every great invention is an MIT mind.每一项伟大的发明背后都有我们校友的智慧结晶I'll cut to the chase. 我就不兜圈子了The Air Force believes there's an application for this technology,美国空军想将这项技术投入到实际应用中and we're interested in funding your research. 我们有兴趣投资你们的研究Well, thanks, but you should know 多谢赏识但你要知道we're a little concerned about this being used in weapons.我们有点担心这项技术会被用到武器上Oh, well, let me put your mind at ease. 这样啊让我来放宽你心What we use it for is none of your business. 我们拿来干什么关你们屁事I don't know how I feel about this. 我不知道该对此作何感想Look, guys, it's just a guidance system. 伙计们这只是一个导向系统It's not like you're handing us 别想得好像你们交给我们的是the Death Star from Star Trek. 《星际迷航》的终极武器死星All you need to worry about is, 你们唯一需要顾虑的是right now, it's this big, 现在它这么大and we need it to be... this big. 我们需要它变得...这么点大That's a lot less big. 那要大大减小很多啊Yes, it's... this much less big. 没错减小的程度有这么大I'm not even sure that's possible. 我都不确定可不可行Well, I ran it by some colleagues at MIT, 我问过几个麻省理工的同事and they thought they could get it done in four months. 他们认为四个月就能搞定- Four months? - Yeah, we'll do it in two! -四个月 -那我们两个月就能搞定Hi. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 你好我是谢尔顿·库珀博士I'm the actual brains behind this project. 我才是这个项目的主力设计者Also, engineers aren't real scientists, 还有工程师不是真正的科学家MIT's a trade school, 麻省理工是一所职业学院and the Death Star is from Star Wars, not Star Trek! 还有还有死星来自《星球大战》不是《星际迷航》But otherwise, 撇开那些不说thank you for your service. 感谢为国服役Howard told me you were working late, so I brought dinner. 霍华德跟我说你要加班所以我带了吃的来Oh, thanks. You know, I just wanted to get some work done 谢谢我只是想安静地工作without people congratulating me about the baby every five minutes.不用每五分钟就有人跑来恭喜我怀孕了I spent my day alone in the lab 我今天自己在实验室waiting for a rat to die of anthrax. 陪一只炭疽感染的老鼠等死Did you come here to bring me dinner or to gloat? 你是来给我送吃的还是来幸灾乐祸Well, I came to see how you were feeling, 我是来看看你心情好点没but I'm guessing still angry? 但我猜还在生气呢I'm sorry. 抱歉My boss wants to meet with me, and I'm stressing. 我老板要见我我现在压力山大You really think they're gonna start treating you differently?你真的认为他们会开始区别对待你吗Are you kidding? 开什么玩笑I've always been treated differently! 我向来都被人区别对待Look at me! Listen to me! 瞧我小体型听我的小尖嗓I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, 你看见我脑子里永远不会首先想到"That's a scientist." "那是一位科学家"It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is." 你只会想"希望她不要跟妈妈走丢"I am really regretting that I got you a Happy Meal. 我好后悔给你买了欢乐儿童餐I've worked so hard to get where I am, 我那么努力工作才坐上这个位置and I don't want to get sent back to square one 我不想因为怀孕because I'm pregnant. 就被打回原点I understand how you feel. 我懂你的感受Thank you. 谢谢I wish there were some way I could make it better. 真希望我能做些什么让你好过点Well, you brought me French fries. That's a start. 你给我买了薯条这是好的第一步Uh, actually, I got you apple slices 'cause you're pregnant. 其实我给你买了切片苹果因为你怀孕了嘛Apple slices? 切片苹果What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?! 哪个傻逼会去麦当劳买水果啊I'll be right back. 小的立马重新买And a chocolate shake! 老娘还要巧克力奶昔What are you doing? 你做什么呢Oh, Leonard's mad at me, so I'm making him lemon bars. 莱纳德生我气了我给他做柠檬方块呢Does he even like lemon bars? 他爱吃柠檬方块吗Not really. 不爱吃But I'm mad at him, too, so lemon bars it is. 但我也在生他的气所以就柠檬方块吧Something happen at the meeting? 会面时发生什么事了吗They made me promise I wouldn't talk. 他们逼我保证不说话- And you talked? - Well, now, see? -结果你说话了 -你看吧You knew what was gonna happen. 你都知道会发生什么事了Why didn't they? 他们怎么就不知道呢Anyway, now we're committed to completing this project总之现在我们承诺了要在极短的时间内in a ridiculously short time frame, 完成这个项目and everyone's upset with me. 大家都生我气了Well, if it makes you feel any better, 也许这能让你好过点Bernadette's mad at me, too. 伯纳黛特也在生我的气If it makes you feel any better, 也许这能让你好过点a parasitoid wasp known as Oobius depressus 有一种类型的寄生蜂has been rediscovered after 101 years of presumed extinction.在被认定灭绝101年后重新被发现踪迹了Why would that make me feel better? 这怎么让我好过了Why would your Bernadette thing make me feel better?那你跟伯纳黛特的事又怎么会让我好过At least mine was educational. 至少我的还有教育意义Okay. Never mind. 好吧当我没说Look, I'm sorry. 对不起Tell me why Bernadette is upset with you. 告诉我伯纳黛特为什么生你的气了Well, I told people at work that she's pregnant. 我跟公司的人说了她怀孕的事She wasn't ready for them to know. 但她没准备让他们知道Why would you do that? 你为什么要这么做Well, it just slipped out. I feel terrible. 我就是说溜嘴了我也很懊悔See, that's exactly what happened to me, 跟我简直一模一样except that I said it on purpose, and I have no regrets. 除了我是故意说的而且并不后悔Is it even possible to get this done in two months? 两个月内完成有可能吗Well, maybe. I don't know. 也许吧不知道We'll have to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. 我们得每周不歇地一天工作12小时Which means I won't be able to make Penny breakfast every day,也就是说我不能再每天给佩妮做早餐了and she'll realize my brioche French toast 她会意识我做的法式吐司奶油卷was the only thing keeping her in the marriage. 是唯一让她不跟我离婚的原因I love your French toast. 我也爱吃你做的法式吐司Oh, thanks, man. 谢了兄弟So, why did you guys even agree to the deadline? 那你们为什么同意那个截止日期We didn't. Sheldon did. 我们没同意谢尔顿干的And you just let him? 你就让他答应了Well, the colonel said it was for the good of the country, 上校还说这是苟利国家的事and the funding is substantial. 我们就因资金而趋之了No, but mostly, there was an awkward pause, 没有主要当时有一阵尴尬的沉默and I broke it by saying, "Okay." 于是为了打破尴尬局面我就说了"好"So I guess I won't be seeing you guys for a while. 看来我要见不到你们一阵子了Oh, looks like it. Wow. 是这样的You're going off to work with the military, leaving me behind. 你们去军方工作独留我一人Now I know how all those army wives feel. 我突然理解军嫂的生活了Would you stop? 你够了啊We're just gonna be on the other side of campus. 我们就是在大学另一端而已And right here. 也在这里You are a deeply silly man. 你就是一傻姑娘He is so afraid of his feelings. 他怎么如此不敢直面内心呢Got a minute? 有空吗Yeah, come on in. 有啊进来I just wanted to apologize. 我想道歉I know what you did was an accident. 我知道你是不小心说出去的Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry I lied about it. 谢谢你对不起我跟你撒谎了For what it's worth, you're a great liar. 不过你撒谎挺在行的Oh, that's what Amy said. 艾米也这么夸我的So what's going on with the research project? 研究项目怎么样了Are they gonna let you run it? 他们还会让你负责吗Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, 老板说他还没定下来so I gently reminded him 于是我温柔地提醒了他that he's an old rich white guy, 他是个有钱白人老头and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady 而我是个甜美无害的小孕妇who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury. 在陪审团面前演落泪戏码没在怕的You threatened to sue? 你威胁要告他Hey, I learned a long time ago, when you're four feet eleven 我多年前就已学会当你只有一米五and eye level with every guy's crotch, 而平视只能看到每个男人裆部时that's where you punch. 你就往那里捶就对了That's funny. 有点意思I learned something totally different. 我学到的不是捶是...Do you know what? 其实呢It's just a research project. 不过是个研究项目The most important job in the world 世上最重要的工作is gonna be raising this child. 应该是抚养这个孩子It's all I need to give my life meaning. 那才赋予我生命的意义Oh, that's so beautiful. 说得太好了You believe me? Oh, good. 你信了那就好11 more chumps like you, 再多11个像你这样的笨蛋I'll have the jury eating out of my hand. 整团陪审团就随老娘摆布了I never realized this building was classified. 我之前都不知道这栋楼是机密建筑Maybe that's because it's classified. 也许正是因为它是机密Wish we weren't so far from my parking space. 希望不会离我们的车位太远The way you put away those lemon bars, 就你吃柠檬方块的那个熊样perhaps that's a good thing. 远点是好事I'd like to reinstate the you-not-talking rule. 我希望恢复"你不许说话"规则Why? It clearly doesn't work. 为什么明显没用I guess this is it. 应该就是这了不得吸烟危险不得吸烟未授权者不得进入Is that a retinal scanner? 那是视网膜扫描仪吗Let's find out. 我们试试Howard Wolowitz-- access granted. 霍华德·沃罗威茨准许入内- No way! - Impressive! -不是吧 -太棒了Oh, my turn! My turn! 该我了该我了Leonard Hofstadter-- access granted. 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔特准许入内I didn't even have to take my glasses off! 我都不需要把眼睛摘下来呢Access denied. 拒绝入内It knows! 它知道呢Oh, oh, oh, oh, guys, hold me upside down! 你们大头朝下抱着我。

Oh, my God, I can't believe how big Halley's getting. 天啊真不敢相信哈雷已经这么大了Yeah-- where's Howard? 对啊霍华德在哪呢He's changing Michael. 他在给麦克换尿布A-All done. You know, fun fact, 搞定分享个有趣小知识did you know baby boys can pee straight up? 你们知道男婴儿可以往空中撒尿吗Grown-up boys, too. 长大的男孩也可以Why would we high-five that? 我们为啥要跟你击掌这事So how are you guys? 你们俩还好吗Really good. 很好啊Except for when we went grocery shopping, 除了我们去超市买东西时and the checkout lady asked when I was due. 结账的店员问我预产期是什么时候But you handled it well. 但你处理得很好啊Well, if you guys need help, I'd be happy to come over. 如果你们需要人帮忙我很乐意过去Oh, thanks, but we're really trying to enjoy this family time 谢谢了但我们想尽量在回岗位前before we both go back to work. 多享受这天伦之乐Okay, well, we all miss you. 好吧我们都很想你们-Bye.我们也想你们-- You guys, too. - 再见Boy, seeing them all together like that 要命了看到他们一家和乐融融has got my biological clock ticking like crazy. 让人家的生物钟疯狂加速到想要...Yeah, I don't think men have... 男人好像没有...I do. 人家有- Hi. - Hello. -你们好 -来啦Hey, guys. 你们来啦Good news, we have save the date cards. 好消息我们有邀请函了Huh, didn't go with my calligrapher. Interesting. 居然没用我的书法有意思What is this picture? 这图案是什么Oh, it's an MRI of our brains photoshopped 是把我们俩大脑的核磁共振成像to look like they're kissing. 修到看起来像在接吻Is it too sexy? 是不是太性感火辣了It's too something. 太难以形容了Guys, May 12, that's exciting. 大家是5月12号太迫不及待了- I know. - Do you guys have a location yet? -是啊 -你们定好在哪举行了吗'Cause you don't have a lot of time. 你们时间所剩不多啊Hey, it took us nine months to pick a date, 我们俩花了9个月才选出个日期and a week to decide if brains can have lips on them, 又花了一周来决定大脑能不能加上嘴唇so get in the boat and row. 少唧唧歪歪配合就是了Michael's out. 麦克睡着了So is Halley. 哈雷也睡着了Oh, my God, he's so cute. 老天啊他太可爱了So is she. 她也是Switch? 交换吗Yeah. 好Oh, my God, he's so cute. 老天啊他太可爱了So is she. 她也是I just love them so much. 我好爱他们啊Me, too. 我也是My heart feels like it's gonna explode. 我的心脏感觉都要被萌炸了Of course, it's full of brisket, so it probably will. 当然啦我吃了那么多牛腩总有一天会炸Oh, I didn't even know I was capable 我本来都不知道我这个人of loving someone so much. 居然可以这么爱某一个人More than me? 多过爱我吗I'm just messing with you. 我耍你呢I totally love them more than you. 我爱他们绝对多过爱你无数倍I get that. 我理解I would take a bullet for them. 我愿意为他们挡子弹But I would get seriously mutilated for you. 但我也愿意为你严重断手断脚That's sweet. 嘴真甜But you should know, if you got seriously mutilated, 但先说好如果你哪天真的残了I might dump you. 我可能会甩了你You'd be crazy not to. 你不甩才真是疯了Even unmutilated, I'm no prize. 我好手好脚时也不是什么人中龙凤You know, I'm really happy with our wedding date. 我对我们选出来的大喜之日十分满意The month squared equals the square of the sum of the members 月份的平方等于日期的of the set of prime factors of the day. 质因子的和的平方Isn't that romantic? 是不是超浪漫Yes, it's like that Shakespeare sonnet, 对啊就像莎士比亚那首十四行诗写的"Shall I compare thee to a day "我怎能将你与Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 出自莎士比亚十四行诗第18that's also a really weird math problem." 大喜之日兼奇怪数学问题相比"It's a shame you're joking. 太遗憾你只是在挖苦了That'd be a lovely reading at our ceremony. 不然本来很适合在我们婚礼朗诵呢Well, we only have two months to find a venue, 我们只剩两个月时间找场地了and I had a thought. 而我有个想法What about the Athenaeum club at Caltech? 加州理工的雅典娜学术俱乐部怎么样Albert Einstein was a member there. 阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员宾客有爱因斯坦与三位诺贝尔奖得主该俱乐部的史上首次正式晚餐Yeah,-- It's beautiful. 是啊-环境很美-and Albert Einstein was a member there. 而且阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员It's close. 还很近And Albert Einstein was a member there. 而且阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员And Albert Einstein was a member there. 而且阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦曾是会员Now you sound like a woman who wants to get married. 现在你听起来像是个想结婚的女人了So you're interested? 所以你有兴趣吗Oh, of course. 当然啦Yeah, but that club is extremely exclusive. 可是那个俱乐部十分难进You know, Leonard's been trying to get us in there for years,你知道莱纳德试着帮我们申请好多年了吗but no luck. 但都没成功过Well, that's odd. 这就奇怪了When I called, they said they'd be excited to give us a tour. 我打去询问时他们表示很乐意带我们看看Well, I suppose we can give it a look, 好吧去看一下也没损失and if it doesn't work out, I hear that there is 如果最后没成功我听说那附近a nearby Chinese restaurant that Einstein used to frequent. 有一家中餐馆以前爱因斯坦是常客Or, we pick a place we like, 或者我们选一个喜欢的场地and don't worry about Einstein. 然后不要管爱因斯坦了Boy, reality TV is right; brides are crazy. 天啊真人秀还真没错新娘都疯了So, how has it been, being home with two kids? 怎么样了啊在家跟俩孩子待着Oh, tiring, but super rewarding. 累死人但成就感满满Oh, like Pilates, yeah, got it. 就像普拉提课程我懂Honestly, it's gonna be hard when we both go back to work. 说实话我们都回工作岗位后会挺难吧I've been thinking maybe it would be better 我在考虑或许我们俩人中if one of us decided to stay home. 有一个人专职留在家带孩子I don't know, I was raised by servants, and look at me. 是吗我就是佣人带大的你看我I literally can't tell if you think that's good or bad. 我真的说不上你是觉得好还是不好Well, on one hand, they filled my tub with scented oils 一方面来说他们在我浴缸里加满了香精油and brought me honeyed sweets; on the other hand, 还会给我加蜂蜜的点心而另一方面I spent my twenties incapable of talking to women. 我二十多岁了却无法与女人直接对谈So you know, pros and cons. 所以你懂吧好坏参半Here's my dilemma: 我纠结的是I... kind of want to stay home. 我有点想在家当家庭煮夫But Bernadette is a way better parent than I am. 但伯纳黛特比我更会带孩子Wait, does Bernadette want to stay home? 等等那伯纳黛特有想当主妇吗I don't know. She's really invested in her career, 我不知道她对事业投入了许多心血and she's doing great. 而且很有成绩I think it should be me. 我觉得应该我在家Wow, I admire you, Howard. 我敬佩你霍华德I-It would be hard for me 要我可能就很困难to buck traditional gender roles like that. 让我这么突破传统性别角色藩篱Didn't you see Taylor Swift twice this month? 你这个月看了两次泰勒·斯威夫特的演唱会吧Yeah, because she's hot, not because she sings my truth. 是因为她人美不是因为歌词唱到我心坎Yeah, because she's hot, not because she sings my truth.她的歌词以女孩恋爱/分手后的心情为主Did Albert Einstein ever sit in any of these chairs? 爱因斯坦坐过这其中的任何一张椅子吗I think these are fairly new. 这些椅子应该都还挺新的But Stephen Hawking's eaten here a lot. 但霍金教授常来这里吃Yeah, but he brings his own chair, you know? 但他都是自带[轮]椅来的啊Well, it seems kind of perfect, 这里感觉好完美啊and it's close enough to your office, 而且离你办公室又近so you can use the bathroom you like. 你可以使用你喜欢的洗手间Mm. I put a sticker over the auto-flush, 我把自动冲水的感应器用贴纸贴上so it doesn't startle me. 这样就不会被突然吓到Here's my card. Why don't you two talk it over, 这是我的名片两位先好好谈谈and I will check to see if our soup spoons 我趁这时间去问问看我们的汤匙are "Deeper than they are wide." 是否"深度多过宽度"What? Too deep is a ladle, not a spoon. 干嘛深的是勺子不是汤匙I really like it. 我好喜欢这里Mm. Oh, I must admit, I do, as well. 我也得承认我也很喜欢I-- look at how somber all the men in these portraits are. 你看这些人的画像看起来都多阴郁I feel like that sets a good tone for our wedding. 感觉为我们的婚礼设下了良好的氛围Is that Leonard? 那是莱纳德吗Oh, no, no, these are all dead, accomplished scientists. 不才不是这些都是已逝的杰出科学家Leonard will only ever be one of those things. 莱纳德最多只能做到其中一项I mean, Leonard and Penny are right there. 我是说莱纳德与佩妮就在那里But he told me he checked on our membership just last week,但他上周跟我说他看了我们的会员申请and we were still 400th in line. 我们还在顺位400多名呢I'm sure there's an innocent explanation 我相信他会有个无罪的合理解释that won't ruin my day at all. 听完绝对不会毁了我一天心情Leonard. 莱纳德Hey.--- Oh, hey. 你们来啦-是你们啊How did you get in here? 你们怎么进来这里吃饭的What do you mean? Leonard's a member. 这话什么意思莱纳德是会员啊You told me it was incredibly exclusive. 你跟我说这里特别难申请啊Y-Yeah, look, about that, I lied. 听我说是这样的... 我撒谎了Hey, wait, you told me it was exclusive, too. 等等你也跟我说这里很难申请啊I avoided him and impressed you, all with the same lie. 我用一个谎来躲开了他还迷到了你Damn, Hofstadter, didn't think you had it in you. 服了霍夫斯塔德看不出你这么厉害Well, I'm not sure I know how I feel about this place now. 现在我不知道该对这里作何感想了Then don't turn around. 那千万别回头Cooper! 库珀Oh, good, you're here. 太好了你在这There's... something 有一件事I want to talk to you about. 我想跟你谈谈We're not putting a TV in the bathroom. 我们绝对不会在厕所里放电视That's how you get hemorrhoids. 人们就是这么得痔疮的No, this is important. 不是啦是重要的事Uh, I was thinking maybe one of us should 我在想或许我们俩其中一个stay home full-time, with the kids. 应该留在家里全职带小孩Oh great, so I have to give up my job 这下可好我得放弃我的工作and everything I've worked for? 与我一直以来努力的成果吗Actually, I was thinking I should stay home. 其实我想的是我留在家Oh, so I have to abandon my children and go back to work, 所以我得抛下我孩子回到工作岗位while you get to stay home and bond with them? 然后你在家跟孩子们建立感情吗You just said you didn't want to. 可是你才说你不想留在家啊No, I don't want to have to, but if I want to, I should get to. 不我不想要被迫要但如果我想要我就能要Do you want to? 那你想要吗Maybe I do. 或许有呢What if I also want to? 那如果我也想要呢Well, I don't know, we can't both stay home. 我不知道啊我们不能都留在家吧Don't you think you should go back to work, 你不觉得该由你回去工作吗because you make more money? 因为你赚的钱比我多Don't you think you should make more money? 那你不觉得你应该多挣点钱吗I think it's pretty sexist of you to say 我觉得你这样很性别歧视啊a dad can't stay home with his children. 觉得当爸爸的就不能在家带小孩You know what else is sexist, the phrase "Suck it," 你知道还有什么很性别歧视吗忍着[吸"鸟"]yet, here we are. 但就是这样I can't believe Leonard lied to me. 真没想到莱纳德会骗我What are we gonna find out next, 接下来还会发现他说过什么谎that he's not really lactose intolerant, hmm? 他其实没有乳糖不耐症吗He's just friends with an invisible trumpet player? 他不是放屁只是跟隐形的小号手是好朋友I know you're upset, but if we want to book the Athenaeum, 我知道你不高兴但如果我们想订那俱乐部we really should do it now, and then, I promise, 我们现在就得订然后我跟你保证we'll have our whole lives to complain about Leonard. 我们会有余生让你慢慢抱怨莱纳德Aw, somebody got a head start on her vows. 某人先开始说结婚誓词啦So do we agree? 那我们达成共识了吗Do we want to get married there? 我们要在那里举行仪式吗I don't know. 我不知道了I mean, Einstein was a member. 爱因斯坦曾是会员I like that. 我喜欢这点You know? But... 你懂吧可是...Leonard's a member, and that really steams my clams. 但莱纳德也是那里的会员真的让我很抓狂Oh, I love it when you're folksy. 我就喜欢你用地方方言的时候I'm just gonna call. 我就直接打电话订了On the other hand, shaming Leonard during our wedding 而另一方面呢在莱纳德背叛我们的地方at the very place he betrayed me 结婚并羞辱他does have a beautiful symmetry to it. 感觉也十分的美妙That's nice, it'll be your first petty act as a married man. 不错那会是你以人夫身份做的首件小肚鸡肠事Uh-- oh, hi, Kathleen? 你好是凯瑟琳吗Yeah, this is Amy from earlier. 我是早先去你那里的艾米I'd like to go ahead and reserve May 12. 我想先跟你预定5月12号那天的场地Although, it is our wedding. 不过那也是我们的大喜之日I-- maybe it shouldn't be all about revenge. 或许不该把重心都放在复仇上Oh, I see. 好的Okay, t-thanks. 行谢谢你Someone booked our date. 有人订走了我们的日子Uh... What? 什么Who? 谁Well, well, well. 哎哟哟This is a pickle. 这下可真难办了Yes, so, 是啊所以...if you will just move your birthday party 如果你能把你的生日派对移地举办to a different location, everything will be fine. 那这就最好不过了Ugh, I-it's tricky. 这挺麻烦啊I don't want to move my party, 我不想将我的派对改址but I also don't want to help you-- 但我也不想帮你忙oh, wait, I don't have a problem. 等等我没有麻烦啊No. I do. 不是我有Yeah, you do. 是啊你麻烦大了Morning. 早上好Hey, where you been? 你们都逛哪儿了Oh, nowhere special. 没去什么特别的地方Just the park, the farmer's market, 就是公园农贸市场then we hopped on the Gold Line to Chinatown 然后我们上了轻轨金线到唐人街去了because it's important for the kids 因为让孩子们感受其他文化to experience other cultures. 是很重要的What have you been doing? 你又做了些什么It's 8:00 A.M. Sleeping. 现在才早上8点睡觉Oh. So are the kids. 孩子们也是I guess they take after you. 这一点应该是随你You're just trying to prove that you'd do a better job than me. 你只是想证明你会做得比我好You're pretty sharp having just woken up. 你刚睡醒就这么机灵Howard, we both know you can't keep up this pace. 霍华德你我都清楚你无法保持这个状态By this afternoon you're gonna be passed out on the couch 到今天下午你就会昏睡在沙发上and I'm gonna have three exhausted babies to deal with. 到时我就得照顾三个累坏了的宝宝Not true. I got this. 才不会我能应付You know, in fact, why don't you take the day off? 事实上不如你今天请假休息吧Mm, fine. Maybe I'll have lunch with Penny. 好吧或许我可以跟佩妮吃午餐Take your time. 慢慢来Get a massage. 去做个按摩You deserve it after all the sleep you've been getting. 这是你应得的毕竟你睡了那么久Maybe Barry will change his mind. 也许巴里会改变主意Hmm? Oh, I doubt it. 我深表怀疑I said some pretty unprofessional things about his work. 我对他的工作说了一些很不专业的话I may have even used the "S" word. 可能连"S"开头的词都用上了Subpar? "水"准以下吗I'm not proud of it, Amy, but I have a temper. 我不自豪但我也是有脾气的Well, I suppose we could pick a different date. 其实我们也可以选别的日子Well, it took you nine months to choose that one. 你可是花了九个月才选中那一天I'll pick a different husband first. 我不如重选个老公算了Hey, I-I just, I wanted to apologize about the Athenaeum. 我想为雅典娜学术俱乐部的事道歉Why did you lie to me? 你之前为什么骗我I don't know. 我也不知道It just seemed funny at first 一开始是好玩and then the longer it went on, funnier it got. 随着时间过去变得更好玩了So, yeah, I guess that's why. 所以大概就是这个原因That's not much of an apology. 这可算不上道歉吧Yeah, because he's not really sorry. 对因为他不是真的心怀歉意Obviously, he wanted a place to go where I wouldn't be 显然他想去一个没有我的地方and apparently all of outside wasn't enough for him. 全世界的室外这么大他还觉得不够Come on. I-I do feel bad. 别这样我真的不好受Why? Did your best friend hurt your feelings? 为什么你最好的朋友伤你心了吗Come on-- Sheldon. 拜托谢尔顿Look, I only have time to deal with one jerk right now 听着我现在只有空对付一个混蛋- and that's Barry Kripke. - What? -那就是巴里·克里普奇 -什么He has the Athenaeum booked for our wedding date他在我们婚礼日那天预订了雅典娜学术俱乐部and he won't give it up. 不愿意让给我们Yeah, so if you could just please leave before I get angry 没错所以请你离开否则我就要生气了and say something I will regret about your face, your height,会说出令自己后悔的话来评价你的长相身高your personal hygiene or the fact that your science, 个人卫生或是你的科学while serviceable, lacks panache. 虽然有一定用途但缺乏派头That's actually one of the nicest things 这其实是你对我工作说过的you've ever said about my work. 最动听的评价了And now I regret it. Good-bye. 现在我后悔了再见Hey. There you are. 你在这儿呢Yeah, I just wanted to stop in and see my office 我就想在我们出去吃午餐前before we went to lunch. 来我办公室看一眼Just a few more weeks, you'll be back full-time, huh? 再过几周你就回来全职上班了对吧Yeah. 是啊Uh-oh. That wasn't a happy "yeah." 你这可不是开心的语气That was a "Hey, Leonard, do you want to go to the gym?" yeah. 是我邀莱纳德去健身房时勉强答应的语气I've just been thinking that maybe I'd rather 我一直在想也许我更想待在家stay home with the kids and be a mom. 照顾孩子当个好妈妈Wow. That's big. 这可是重大决定I know. 我知道Dr. Rostenkowski. 罗斯滕科斯基博士I'm sorry, I didn't know you were back. 抱歉我不知道你回来了Oh, I'm not. 不是的I just came to meet Penny for lunch. 我只是来找佩妮吃午餐Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Water? 需要我为你端咖啡或水来吗- No, I think we're just gonna... - Coffee sounds good. -不用了我们准备... -咖啡听起来不错- Cold brew, almond milk? - Perfect. -冷萃加杏仁奶 -完美Nothing-nothing for me. 不用帮我准备了It's weird. 好奇怪I've been away so long I don't miss any of this. 我离开这么久却一点都不怀念这里Sorry to bother you. 抱歉打扰你了Dr. Lee heard you were here and had a quick question. 李博士听说你来了想问你个事Fine. Put him on. 好吧接通他Jerold, what's going on? 杰罗德最近怎么样Hope you're not screwing up my research. 希望你没有毁了我的研究You calling from a bike ride? 你正在骑单车吗'Cause you're backpedaling hard. 因为你正在迅速倒骑[气势减弱]All right, fine. E-mail it over. I'll take a look. 好吧发邮件给我我这就看看Oh, sorry. Where were we? 不好意思刚说到哪儿了Love your kids. Don't miss your job. 很爱你的孩子们不想念工作Right, right. 对对There's nothing in the world 世间万物都无法与之相比like holding your sleeping baby, 抱着自己熟睡的宝宝knowing you make him feel safe and then-- 知道你让他感到安全Oh, good, you got the little cookies I like. 太好了你拿我爱吃的曲奇饼来了I wouldn't mind a cookie. 我也想吃曲奇饼And he's gone. Okay. 他已经走了好吧Hey, Kripke. 克里普奇Hello, Hofstadter. 你好霍夫斯塔德Why are you cleaning that out yourself? 你怎么亲自在清洗这个Don't you have grad students? 没有研究生帮你吗Come on, I can't make my grad students do every dirty job 拜托总不能所有脏活都让研究生干or so I've been told in writing by the head of Human Resources.或者说人力资源部门主管明文禁止我这么做Fair enough. Uh, so, look, 好吧听我说I'm here to ask you to give Sheldon and Amy 我是来请求你把雅典娜学术俱乐部the Athenaeum for their wedding. 让给谢尔顿和艾米举行婚礼Why would I do that? 我为什么要这么做Because deep down, Barry, you're a really good guy. 因为内心深处你是一个很好的人But am I? 但我真是好人吗Fine. What's it gonna take? 好吧有什么条件Barry, I've come to ask one more... 巴里我来再问你一次...Leonard? 莱纳德Wh-Why are you doing that? 你怎么在干这个Because deep down Barry is not a good guy. 因为巴里在内心深处并不是个好人He's making you clean out barrels of irradiated grease? 他叫你清洗装辐照油脂的桶吗Yeah. 是的I made a deal with him 我跟他做了笔交易to get you the Athenaeum for your wedding. 让他把雅典娜学术俱乐部让给你举办婚礼Why would you do that? 你为什么要这么做Because I was a jerk for lying to you before 因为我之前骗了你很混蛋and besides, you're my best friend. 再说你是我最好的朋友I want you to have the wedding of your dreams. 我希望你能拥有梦想中的婚礼On Mars? 在火星上吗Okay, I want Amy to have the wedding of her dreams. 好吧我希望艾米能拥有梦想中的婚礼Well, thank you. 谢谢你But I don't want you to do this. 但我不想让你干这个No, it's okay. 没关系No, it's not. 有关系We're not going to let Barry win. 我们不能让巴里赢Well, what are we going to do? 那我们要怎么做We have a combined IQ of 360. 我们俩的智商加起来有360Perhaps more if that radiation gave you a super brain. 要是那辐射让你大脑变异成超级大脑还会更高You know what? You're right. 知道吗你说得对If we work together we could totally outsmart Barry Kripke.我们同心协力就一定能碾压巴里·克里普奇Leonard, my nose itches. What do I do? 莱纳德我鼻子痒怎么办Oh, boy. 天啊I really passed out hard. 我昏睡得不省人事Yeah, tell me about it. 可不是嘛The kids could've screamed bloody murder 就算孩子们尖叫有人杀人and you wouldn't have woken up. 你也不会醒Which I know because they did. 这我知道因为他们真的尖叫了I'm sorry. 抱歉Why did I think I could do this on my own? 我怎么会以为自己能搞定Hey, don't beat yourself up. 别太责怪自己了Parenting is hard. 照顾小孩是很辛苦的Like, I've seen and smelled things today 我今天看到和闻到的东西that I cannot unsee or unsmell. 已经深深烙印在我的脑海里了Thanks for covering for me. 谢谢你来帮我No, I mean he only drinks milk. 真的他明明只喝奶Like, where are the colors coming from? 那些颜色是怎么来的What time is it? 现在几点了Uh, it's almost 6:00. 快6点了Okay. Bernadette's gonna be home soon. 好伯纳黛特快回家了We got to divide and conquer. 我们得分工合作I'll make dinner. You watch the kids. 我去做晚餐你照看孩子们Uh, kids are asleep. 孩子们睡着了Great, then you make dinner. 太好了那你去做晚餐Hey, good news, Amy. 好消息艾米We got the Athenaeum. 我们拿到俱乐部的场地了Oh, my gosh. 天啊That's amazing. 太棒了How'd you get Barry to change his mind? 你怎么让巴里改变主意的Well, I couldn't have done it without Leonard. 没有莱纳德我一个人无法做到Boy, you should've seen us in there. 你真应该看看我们在里面的英姿We were like Batman and Robin. 我们就像蝙蝠侠和罗宾一样Why do I have to be Robin? 为什么我得当罗宾If you have to ask, you're Robin. 如果你还要弱弱地问那你就是罗宾What happened? 发生什么了Well, we scrubbed out some barrels of irradiated grease, 我们刷洗完几个装过辐照油脂的桶rinsed off in a safety shower 再用安全淋浴洗净污渍后and then told Barry Kripke what is what. 就去给了巴里·克里普奇一点颜色瞧瞧And he just gave in? 他就这样让步了吗Well, we agreed to invite him to the wedding. 我们还同意邀请他来参加婚礼Okay. No problem. 好吧没问题Yeah.---- And he gets to bring a date. 行啊他还能带一个伴儿出席Well, that's reasonable. 合情合理A-And if she charges by the hour, we have to cover it. 如果女伴按小时收费我们得出钱What else did you agree to? 你们还答应了什么Well, um, you know how Barry has the voice of an angel? 你知道巴里有宛如天籁的嗓音吗He is not singing at our wedding. 他绝不能在我们婚礼上献唱He only wants to sing "Volare." 他只想唱经典老歌《飞》Oh, "Volare" 原来是《飞》啊That's what he was saying. 我还以为是《灰》什么的Boy, I didn't, I did not get that. 我还真没听懂他的发音Guys, I appreciate everything you did, 我很感激你们所做的一切but we can find another location that's just as good. 但我们能找到另一个同样赞的场地Maybe the Japanese garden or the planetarium. 比如日式花园或天文馆The planetarium. 天文馆I hadn't thought about that. 我之前都没想到呢That's even better. 这选择更棒了Wait, what? 等等什么I scrubbed sludge for you. 我还为你刷洗了污泥I may be slightly radioactive. 现在没准我都带有点放射性了Oh, you're exaggerating. 你太夸张啦Don't let him touch the silverware. 别让他碰镀银餐具Why is Raj asleep on our couch? 拉杰为什么睡倒在我们家沙发上Oh. I needed some help so he came by, 我需要帮忙于是他就过来了played with the kids, read them some stories, 陪孩子们玩了会给他们读故事put them down for their nap and made dinner. 哄他们睡午觉还做了晚饭What'd you do? 你做了什么Ate dinner. 吃晚饭Okay, look, I don't think I'm cut out 听着我想我不是to be a stay-at-home dad. 当全职爸爸的料And since you want to, you should stay home. 既然你想那应该让你留在家里I-I do definitely want to, 我确实想待在家but I know how much this means to you and it was just one day. 但我知道这对你很重要而且只是过了一天So, don't give up. 所以别放弃哦You don't want to stay home, either. 你也不想待在家里Do you? 是不是When I went by the office they gave me 我今天路过办公室他们给我coffee and cookies and no one peed on me. 端咖啡和曲奇来也没人尿在我身上I miss that so much. 我好想念那一切Well, I love the kids, but I also love my job. 我很爱孩子们但我也很热爱我的工作And sleep. 以及睡觉I know. I took a two-hour nap on the couch in my office. 我知道我在办公室里小睡了两小时I took a three-hour nap on the floor in the living room. 我在客厅地板上小睡了三小时How do you feel now? 你现在感觉如何Honestly? Still tired. 说实话吗还是很累Me, too. 我也是I love you. 我爱你I love you, too. 我也爱你And we'll figure this all out. 我们会想出解决办法的Yeah. 是啊Everyone's asleep. 大家都睡着了You want to head upstairs and... 你想到楼上去......you know. 你懂的Let's just do it right here. 我们就在这里进行吧Oh, oh, I like the way you think. 我喜欢你的小脑袋瓜。

Space is the mirror of the soul. 宇宙是灵魂的镜子Are we looking beyond, or are we looking within? 我们是瞭望远方还是照进内心呢I'm looking at my shoes. 我是看向鞋子This is making me a little motion sick. 我都看得有点晕乎了When we gaze out at the immensities of space, 当我们凝望着无止尽的宇宙we understand them because there are immensities 我们能了解到这是因为我们的内心within us as well. 也是无限大I'm Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, 我是拉杰什·库萨帕里博士and thank you for taking a walk with me... 感谢各位与我一起through the stars. 漫步群星之中That pause gets longer every show. 他收尾的停顿一次比一次长I believe... 我觉得...you're right. 你说得没错Hey. 你好Can I get a picture with you? 我能跟你合照一张吗Absolutely. 没问题And if you post it on social media, 如果你要发到社交平台I suggest the hashtag "Koothra-poet." 我建议你加个话题#库萨诗里#Thank you. The show was great. 谢谢你节目很棒Well, I can't take all the credit. 这不全是我一个人的功劳I have pretty good co-stars. 我有一群很棒的明星配角The stars. 一群明"星"Do you say that to everyone? 你对每个人都说这套词吗Only to beautiful women. 只对美女And okay women. 还有还行的女孩说Okay. 行吧Uh, just to clarify: you're the first kind. 我澄清一下你是前一类人Okay. 行吧Thanks for coming. 谢谢你们来What did you handsome gentlemen think of the show? 两位帅哥对今晚的节目有何评价Uh, you can turn it off now. 你可以收功了It's sweet of you to say, but I don't think I can. 谢谢夸奖但我的魅力能放不能收Look at this cute picture of Halley in the bath. 看看这张哈雷在泡澡的超萌照片Aw, that's great. 拍得很赞啊Want me to send it to you? 要我发给你吗No, on your phone it's cute, on my phone it's a crime. 别了在你手机是可爱在我手机上是犯罪I also have a pretty cute picture to share. 我也有一张很萌的照片分享What is that? 那是什么An equation. 一个方程式Isn't it perfect? 它是不是太完美了Sometimes I just stare at it, 有时候我就这么盯着它看and I think "I can't believe that came out of me." 心想"真想不到它是我想出来的" Well, since we're sharing pictures, 既然我们要分享照片I have one to contribute. 我也可以贡献一张Please don't let it be you and your dog in the bathtub. 拜托别是你跟你狗一起泡澡的照片It's not. 并不是But don't swipe. 但别滑去看别张照片What are we looking at here? 这是什么Well, that's me and a beautiful woman 是我跟一个美女的合照and my watch showing the time as 2:30 in the morning.而从我的手表可以看出是半夜两点半拍的So, state's exhibit "A"? 所以... 证物"A"吗No. I met her at the planetarium a few days ago, 不是啦我前几天跟她在天文台认识的and she invited me out for a drink. 她后来邀请我出去喝一杯Oh, good for you. H-Hey, 那恭喜你啊w-what's the Hindi word for "Dog"? 印地语的"狗"怎么说- Kutta. - You kutta. -库塔 -你这只贱库塔Bow-bow. 咆咆That's Hindi for woof-woof. 这是印地语的汪汪I am seeing her again tonight. 我今晚跟她又有约You know, I also have a date tonight. 我今晚也有约呢But don't worry, it's not another woman. 但别担心不是跟别的女人It's string theory. 是跟弦理论有约Bow-bow. 咆咆Sorry, he's a kutta, you're not. 抱歉但人家才是色库塔你不算- Hi. - ?Hello. -回来了 -回来啦What you doing? 你在干嘛Oh, taking another picture with my baby. 跟我的宝宝合照Look how big he got. 你看它长多大了It's fun to see you this excited. 看到你这么兴奋挺有意思的Aw, thank you, that's so... 谢谢啦你人...- Don't sit there! ?- What, what? -不许坐这里 -啥怎么了I, uh-- sorry. 抱歉啦I-It's part of my organization system. 这是我组织系统的一部分That's-that's where those papers go. 那里是我放论文的地方Okay. Um, how about if I just... 好吧那不如我...slide this notebook... 把这笔记本推过去...You know what, it's fine. 行吧没关系I'll just be in the bedroom. 我去卧室里待着No, no. Uh, this is your apartment, too. 不用别这里也是你的公寓Uh, look, I'll-I'll stop for the night 我今晚收工吧and clean this up. 然后把这里收拾了Well, that's very considerate, Sheldon. 你真是太贴心了谢尔顿I know. 我知道See, I'm trying this new technique 其实我是在尝试一个新招式where I imagine how I would feel in someone else's position. 就是我换位思考做到感同身受Y-You mean empathy? 你是指同理心吗Oh, I thought I came up with it. 我还以为这是我发明的新方法呢Well, regardless, I-I appreciate the effort. 无论如何我还是谢谢你做出的努力Thank you. 谢谢It's really hard. 真的很难呢Morning. 早安Good morning. 早安啊Aw, you didn't have to cook me breakfast. 你其实不用为我做早餐Well, I wasn't sure how I did last night, 我不确定我昨晚的表现如何and I wanted to finish strong. 我想确定有个强劲的收尾You don't need to worry. 你不用担心啦Last night was great. 昨晚很赞了Ah, well, you say that now, 虽然你现在这么说but wait until you taste this. 但等你吃过一口之后再发表意见Oh, my God, this is amazing. 我的天太好吃了吧Which is why I keep an omelet pan in the trunk of my car.所以我在后车厢里都有备一个煎蛋锅Well, thank you, it's delicious. 谢谢啦很好吃My husband never cooked for me. 我老公从来不做饭给我吃Oh, uh, y-you were married. 你结过婚了吗Yeah. Well, technically, I guess I still am. 是啊严格上来说我还已婚Is that "technically," 你的"严格上来说"like, the paperwork hasn't gone through, 是指离婚文件还没正式生效or "technically," 还是"严格上来说"like, he's in the closet watching us right now? 他现在正在衣柜里看着我们俩No, no, we're separated. 没有啦我们已经分居了Do you mind if we talk about something else? 我们能聊一点别的吗Of course. 当然啦Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that 告诉你我的煎蛋卷能这么好吃的秘诀I beat the egg whites separately. 是我蛋黄跟蛋白是分开打散的Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? 说到这个你们分开多久了About two weeks. 大概两周吧That is not a lot of weeks. 这周数不太多啊In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks."其实这刚刚过了双数周数的门槛啊Doesn't matter. 无所谓啊He moved out, I moved on. 他已搬走我向前走Oh. Good. 很好Yeah, do you mind me asking what he does for a living? 你介意我问一下他是干哪一行的吗He's a firefighter. 他是消防员Oh. Interesting. 有意思A potentially jealous man who's handy with an ax. 一个有可能妒火中烧还能随手拿到斧子的男人It's-it's okay, though. 不过没事的啦He's almost had two weeks to cool down. 他可是有将近整整两周时间冷静呢Okay, the next drug is Romatrol. 好的下一款药是罗马唑Oh, I know this one. 这款我会We're actually pushing it really hard. 我其实很努力在推销这款药呢It treats mild dermatitis. 它能治疗轻微皮肤炎Uh, correct. And who can it be prescribed to? 正确这款药能开给哪些人群呢Adults and children who have absolutely, for sure, 成人以及百分百确定stopped growing. 已经停止生长的孩子Right again. 再次正确And what are the side effects? 有哪些副作用呢Oh, shoot, shoot. 靠靠Mm, remember the mnemonic. 想一下助记词Ah-- GRAVY, yes. G-R-A-V-Y. 肉汁G R A V YOkay, gastric distress, redness, 胃部不适红肿anal leakage, vasculitis and... 肛漏血管炎还有...yellow eyes. 黄眼Oh, uh, so close. 很接近了- It's actually yellow discharge. - Oh, right. -是黄带[白带发黄] -对哦That's why we went with "Gravy." 所以我们用"肉汁"这个词He knows he doesn't live here anymore, right? 他知道自己现在不住在这里了对吧Maybe he's experiencing memory loss because he took... 可能他失忆了因为他吃了...- Flaxitrite. - Yeah. -弗拉西崔 -正解- Thank you. - Uh, Sheldon, what are you doing? -谢啦 -谢尔顿你来干嘛Oh, I was just checking in on my old room 我就过来看一下我的旧房间to see what you've done with it. 看看你们怎么处置它Why? 怎么了Well, I could use a place to work in the evenings, and... 我晚上需要一个地方工作而且... - No. - Well, it's just that -不 -因为- there's not a lot of space in our apartment... - No. -我们公寓没有多余的地方 -不Well, and I feel like Amy's been having... 我觉得艾米一直有...No. 不And since you're not... 反正你们也不...No. 不It's... 就...No. 不No. 不That is our room now, 现在那是我们的房间and we're gonna turn it into a gym. 而且我们要把它变成健身房Do you really expect me to believe that? 你们真的以为我会信这种鬼话吗- No. - No. -不 -不So I guess what's bugging me 所以现在让我困扰的是is that they only broke up 13 days ago, 他们13天前才分手and now I'm dating her. 现在我却在跟她交往So, am I, like, the good guy in my movie, 那我是我这部电影里的好人or the bad guy in their movie? 还是他们电影里的坏人呢Pretty sure you're the weird friend in our movie. 我能肯定的是你是我们电影里的怪友人I like her, okay? 我喜欢她好吗I just, I-I don't know how I feel about 我只是...不知道该如何看待自己being the third wheel in a relationship. 在一段感情里充当电灯泡的角色Says the guy in my bed with my wife. 跟我老婆躺在一张床上的某人如是说Guys, I mean, he's around, okay? 我的意思是她老公还没走远呢He's apparently not happy about the breakup, 他很显然对分手耿耿于怀and based on the sweatpants he left at her place, 而且从他留在她家的运动裤可以判断出he's, like, a medium to large man. 这家伙至少是个中等个子或彪形大汉Maybe those are his "after the holiday" pants, 或许那是他的"假日发福后"专用裤like you have. 你也有啊I don't know. 我也不知道了I mean, do you think it's too soon for her to be dating? 你们觉得她是不是太快开始约会了If you and Bernadette broke up, 如果你和伯纳黛特分手了like, how long would you wait? 你会等多久才开始约会Oh, well, I don't even want to think... 我都不想去想这种问题Eight days. 八天What? 什么Two days to cry. Six days to hit the gym. 在家哭两天健身房恢复身材六天First of all, you already look amazing. 首先你身材已经很棒了Aw, that's sweet. 嘴真甜I'm gonna give him an extra day of crying. 那我再多为他哭一天吧The answer is still no. 不就是不You can say we wouldn't know you're here, but we'd know. 你可以说我们不会察觉到你在但我们能察觉Because you'd be here! 因为你的确在这里啊So, who was that? 是谁的电话呀I can't believe you hung up on me! 真不敢相信你居然挂我电话What the hell? 什么鬼What are you doing here? 你在我们家干嘛I am proving you wrong. 我是来证明你是错的I've been working back there for hours. 我已经在里面工作好几个小时了You had no idea. 你们根本没察觉Do something. 帮帮忙What the hell? What are you doing here? 什么鬼你在我们家干嘛I-I am trying to respect Amy. 我在试着尊重艾米Okay, look, you have an office at work. 好吧你在学校有自己的办公室Why don't you go there? 你怎么不去那办公I can't go to the office every time I have a brilliant thought.我不能每次一有灵感就冲去学校办公室啊I'd basically be living there. 那我岂不是相当于住那儿了Sounds good, do that. 听起来不错去吧No. No, the campus isn't safe at night. 不行校园晚上不安全There's raccoons and undergrads just walking around 那里不但有浣熊还有大学生到处走like they own the place. 好像那是他们的地盘一样Look. 听着I need somewhere to work in the evenings. 我需要一个可以晚上工作的地方You have a space you aren't using. 而你们正好有不用的房间Just take a look at my proposal. 看一眼我的提议What is this? 这是什么A rental agreement. 租赁协议I will only use the room for work. 这间房间我仅用于办公I-I won't sleep here, I won't eat your food, 我不会睡这里我不会吃你们的食物I won't even use your bathroom. 我甚至不会用你们的洗手间So you can just walk in any time of the day or night? 你从此就能无论白天黑夜想来就来吗Well, he does that now. 他现在不就这样吗At least this way we'll get paid. 至少签了协议我们还有钱拿I am Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, 我是拉杰什·库萨帕里博士and thank you for taking a walk with me... 感谢各位与我一起...through the stars. ...漫步群星之中I-I think that one was too long. 我觉得刚才那停顿太长了Yeah, you're right. I totally felt it. 你说得对我也感觉到了Should we, uh, run it again? 我们要不再来一遍Please, God, no. 天啊不要了吧Can I help you? 需要帮忙吗Which one of you is Rajesh Koothrappali? 你们俩谁是拉杰什·库萨帕里Really? You're not sure 不是吧你看不出来which one of us is Rajesh Koothrappali? 我们俩谁是拉杰什·库萨帕里吗I am. I was just trying not to be racist. 看出来了我只是不想弄得像种族歧视I'm Nell's husband. 我是妮尔的老公h-here's the thing-- I didn't know 是这样的我真不知道that she was married until after... 她已经结婚了是事后...After what? 什么事之后I'm... 我I'm really sorry. 真的非常对不起Well, that doesn't make me feel better. 道歉并不会让我好过点Wh-What would make you feel better? 那做什么能让你好过点I want you to stop seeing my wife. 我要你不再和我老婆来往Done. Nice to meet you. Bye. 没问题很高兴认识你再见What am I gonna do? 我该怎么办Hey, buddy, do-do you want to talk? 大兄弟你想聊聊吗I thought we were gonna start a family. 我本以为我们会结婚生子Next thing I know, it's over. 没想到措不及防感情玩完It's gonna be okay. 一切都会好的How is it gonna be okay? 怎么可能会好You're sleeping with my wife. 你睡了我老婆I mean, besides that. 我是说除了这事之外Can I get you anything? 你需要点什么吗A glass of water? 来杯水A laser show? 还是来场镭射秀No, thank you. ?Oh, good. -不必谢了 -太好了'Cause I don't, I don't even know how to turn it on. 因为我根本不知道开关在哪I'm sorry. 抱歉I shouldn't have come here. 我不该来这里I guess I just wanted to see who she replaced me with. 可能我只是想看看取代我的人是谁Don't say that. 别这么说What you two had was special. 你们俩的感情很特别No one can replace you. 谁也取代不了你Did she say that? 这话是她说的吗No. 不是I should go, right? 我该走了对吧Stay. 别走Okay, I'll call you later. 好的晚点联系Look, if it makes you feel any better, 听着如果这么说能让你好过点I barely know her. 我跟她一点都不熟And she had sex with you? 不熟她还跟你睡吗Nell tells me you're a fireman. 妮尔说你是名消防员What's that like? 都做些什么呀Okay, I-I-I'm really uncomfortable 好吧知道他在里面房间with him back in that room. 我真的很不舒服Why? He hasn't made a peep all day. 为什么他一天都没出来了Y-Y-You don't get it. 你不懂All the years that we lived together, 我跟谢尔顿住了那么多年he drove me crazy the whole time. 他总是能把我弄疯And now he's not. 而现在却乖乖的Exactly. 对啊D-Don't look at me like that. 别用那种眼神看着我It-it-it means he did it on purpose. 这代表他以前是故意的It was a choice. 那是他的选择That-That's like finding out Godzilla could've had Arby's就像发现哥斯拉本来可以攻击阿比三明治店instead of Tokyo. 却去了东京一样I don't think they have Arby's in Japan. 我想日本应该没有阿比三明治店Not my point. 这不是重点Sheldon. 谢尔顿Sheldon! 谢尔顿I'm sorry. Am I being too loud? 抱歉我是不是太大声了No, you're being perfect and you know it. 不是你表现得很完美你心知肚明Would you like me to be a less considerate tenant? 你希望我当一个不那么贴心的租客吗No. Yes. What...? 不是是的什...Stop messing with me! 别再扰乱我了Hey, I was wrong. 我错了There's an Arby's in Okinawa. 冲绳真的有一家阿比三明治店He was best friends with her older brother, 他以前跟她哥哥是死党but he didn't even notice her. 但他当时根本没注意到她And then years afterward, 几年后they randomly bumped into each other at the DMV. 他们在车管所偶遇了对方Two hours later, they were in love. 两小时后他们就坠入爱河了You can really see the sparkle in his license photo.你都能从他驾驶证照片中看到眼里爱的火花He told you all this at the planetarium? 这些都是他在天文馆跟你说的吗No, no, we went to House of Pies. 不不我们去馅饼屋了He got banana cream. I got coconut. 他点了香蕉奶油我点了椰子口味We did halfsies. 我们分着吃You did pie halfsies with another man? 你跟另一个男人分吃一块馅饼吗You mean other than you? 你是指除你以外的男人吗Yeah. 是啊I feel bad for him, Bernie. 我很同情他妮妮He's a, he's a good guy. 他是个好人Well, if you're uncomfortable with it, 如果你觉得不舒服maybe stop sleeping with his wife. 也许就别再跟他老婆上床了I don't think the sex is the problem. 我觉得性不是问题所在I know for a fact I was just okay. 我很肯定相比起来我表现一般For the record, I'm the one who introduced you to House of Pies. 声明一下是我先带你去吃馅饼屋的Sheldon? 谢尔顿Oh, Leonard. 是莱纳德啊Sorry, I just, I had to get out of there. 抱歉我必须离开那里What did he do now? 他又做了什么Nothing. He's being a dream. 啥都没做他简直是天使Don't give me that look. 别那样看着我That's how Penny looked at me. I'm not crazy. 佩妮就是用那种眼神看我我没疯Penny and I have the same "You're crazy" look? 佩妮和我都露出"你疯了"的眼神吗That's kind of sweet. 心有灵犀呀I know how to deal with Sheldon being Sheldon, 我懂得如何对付真实的谢尔顿but Sheldon being a-a rational, thoughtful person? 但表现得理智又体贴的谢尔顿I'm clueless. I-It's like 我都懵了when my mom called last year to sing happy birthday 就像去年我妈打给我唱生日歌给我听and I-I just threw up. 我直接吐了Well, if it gets to be too much, 如果太难以忍受you can always send him back over here. 你随时可以把他赶回来这里I made a deal with him, 我和他说好了and besides, that wouldn't be fair to you. 再说那样对你不公平Well, actually, I miss him. 实际上我挺想他的He's been over there a lot. 他最近都泡在那边Well, great. Tell him he can come back. 太好了那告诉他他可以回来了I can't. He's thinking of me and my feelings 不行他在为我和我的感受着想and trying to be respectful. 他想尊重我That's what he's doing to me, too, the jerk! 他也是那样对我的那混蛋Stop that. 别再露出那眼神了Hey, your mad look and Sheldon's constipated look are the same.你生气的表情和谢尔顿便秘的表情是一样的This is nice. 这感觉真好It is. 是的She used to kiss me like that. 她以前也是这样吻我的You okay? 你还好吧Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. 没事抱歉Yeah. 没事Oh, God, I'm so alone. 老天我好孤单啊Sorry, I can't do this. 抱歉我没办法What's going on? 怎么了I met Oliver the other day. 我前几天遇到奥利弗了Wait, you tracked down my husband? 等等你去找我老公了吗No, that would be weird. 不是那多奇怪啊He tracked me down, then we spent the evening together. 是他来找我然后我们共度了一晚I don't believe this. 真难以置信He-he only did it because he cares about you. 他那样做都是因为他在乎你No, he did it because he's possessive and jealous. 不是因为他占有欲强又爱吃醋Really? I didn't get that at all. 真的吗我完全没看出来He made me feel very comfortable. 他让我感到很舒服自在Well, I'm glad you two hit it off. 你俩"基"出火花我倍感欣慰啊You know, I don't think that you're being very fair to him. 其实我觉得你对他不公平You're taking his side? 你站他那边吗No, but I should point out that 没有但我要指出he did offer to go to counseling, so at least one of you is trying. 他提议过做婚姻咨询所以至少他在努力挽回You're crazier than he is. 你比他还神经病I'll tell you what, just give him one more chance 这样吧你再给他一次机会and if it doesn't work out, 如果还是不成功I'll be happy to keep sleeping with you. 我很乐意继续和你打炮You would? 你很乐意是吧Either way, you've got yourself a fella. 不管哪种结果你都会有男人Like, how nice is that? 这多棒啊Hey, Sheldon. 谢尔顿Hello. 你好So, your contract provides for a three-day trial period, 你的合同规定有三天试用期and I don't think this is working out. 我觉得这还是行不通So, to put it in legal terms, 所以用法律术语来说the party of the first part would like 就是合同甲方the party of the second part to get out. 希望合同乙方滚蛋What time does the trial period end? 试用期几点结束12:00, noon. 中午12点Yeah-- what does it say after that? 那后面还写了啥Eastern Standard Time. 东部标准时间Eastern Standard Time. 剧中主角所在的西部比东部慢三小时That was three hours ago. 那是3小时前的事了And, uh, since you didn't exercise your right to revoke, 既然你没有行使废除合约的权利I exercised my right to extend, 我就行使我的权利来延长合约triggering this long-form rental agreement... 这份超详细的租赁合同现在生效...of which you're already in violation. 而你已经违反了上面的条约This is just a-a bunch of paper. 这不过是一堆纸张You can't enforce this. 你无法强制执行Hire a lawyer. Let's find out. 请个律师我们见分晓This is not happening. 这不是真的Be that as it may, 即便是这样page nine says that you have to provide me 第九页写着你得为我提供with lemon-flavored sparkling waters, so... chop-chop. 柠檬味的气泡水所以赶紧的Hey, how'd it go? 进行得如何Well, apparently he's not leaving 显然他不会走了and I have to go get him sparkling water. 而我得给他弄气泡水来Why are you smiling? 你为什么在笑I don't know. It just feels right. 我也不知道感觉对了...through the stars. 漫步群星之中Hey, buddy. 你好啊兄弟I talked to Nell. 我和妮尔谈过了She was pretty upset after you left. 你走了之后她不开心- Yeah, I'm sorry. - No. No, no, no. -我很抱歉 -不不不She told me that you said something so creepy 她说你说了一些很诡异变态的话that I seemed great in comparison. 相比之下我显得很棒I know exactly what it was. 我知道是哪句话I... no, actually, 不其实there was a couple of things it could've been. 有几句都有可能Whichever one it was, it was creepy. 无论是哪句都很诡异变态Anyway, uh, I went over to comfort her, 总之我去安慰了她and we talked, and I think we're gonna give it another chance. 我们谈了一下貌似我们会再给彼此一次机会I'm so happy for you! 我真为你高兴We should celebrate. 我们应该庆祝一下House of Pies? 去馅饼屋吗You know it. 那还用说吗Should we invite Nell? 要叫上妮尔吗Do we have to? 有必要吗Nah. 算了吧。

THE BIG BANG THEORY 中英剧本+词汇解析(TBBT-S01-EP07-08)第一季7集: The Dumpling Paradox-Howard：Watch this, it's really cool.看这个，真的很酷。

Call Leonard Hofstadter.呼叫Leonard Hofstadter。

-Machine：Did you say: "Call Helen Boxleitner"? 您说的是"呼叫Helen Boxleitner"吗？-Howard：No. Call Leonard Hofstadter.不，呼叫Leonard Hofstadter。

-Machine：Did you say: "Call Temple Beth Seder"? 您说的是"呼叫Temple Beth Seder"吗？-Howard：No.不。

-Leonard：Here, let me try it.来让我试试。

Call McFlono McFlooniloo.呼叫McFlono McFlooniloo。

-Machine：Calling Rajesh Koothrappali.正在呼叫Rajesh Koothrappali。

-Raj：Oh, it's very impressive.impressive：给人印象深刻的真的很强悍。

And a little racist.racist：种族主义者还带点儿种族主义。

-Sheldon：If we're all through playing "mock the flawed technology,"all through：一直mock：愚弄，嘲弄flawed：有缺陷的technology：科技如果你们玩够了"嘲笑残次科技"，can we get on with Halo night?get on with：继续（干某事）Halo：（图画中圣人头上的）光环，灵光我们能开始"光晕"之夜了吗(XBOX经典第一人称射击游戏)？We were supposed to start at 8:00.be supposed to：应该，被期望我们本该8点开始。

Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 《生活大爆炸》前情提要We conclusively proved super-asymmetry, 我们确切证实了超不对称性理论and yet somehow we-we still feel like imposters. 然而莫名地仍觉得自己是冒名顶替者Yeah, there should be a term for that. 应该有形容这种情况的词Oh, for crying out loud, there is a term for that! 我的老天确实有个词能形容It's called "Imposter syndrome," 就叫做"冒名顶替者综合征"and you don't have it, because you can't have it 但你们没得这种病因为如果真是冒名顶替者if you are imposters, and you are! 就不会得这种病而你们的确冒名顶替了We're the ones who discovered super-asymmetry, 是我们发现了超不对称性so if anyone's gonna feel like they have imposter syndrome,所以如果有谁觉得自己得了冒名顶替者综合征it's us, because we're not imposters, they are! 那也是我们因为我们不是冒名顶替者他们才是You're imposters and you're frauds! 你们是冒名顶替者也是骗子Is that what I would've sounded like? 我如果发神经病也是像这样吗Yikes.--- Yeah. 要命了-对Sheldon, look at this. 谢尔顿你看这个Wait a minute. 等等How do I know this isn't one of those joke phones 我怎么知道你这个不是整人电话that squirts water in my face? 会往我脸上喷水的那种Because that's not even a thing. Look. 因为根本就没有这种东西快看啦You got called into human resources? 你被人事部传唤了吗I'm sure it's because I insulted Pemberton and Campbell 我估计是因为我骂了彭伯顿和坎贝尔in a room full of Nobel Laureates. 还是在一群诺贝尔得主面前骂的You did do that. 你的确是这么做了It was awkward. People didn't know where to look. 当时可尴尬了大家都不知道该看哪This is a twist. 真还挺新鲜Usually you're the one getting called into H.R. 通常都是你被人事部传唤Yeah, now it's Amy. 现在是艾米Who knew you were married to such a bad girl. 真没想到你娶了个"坏女孩"啊I suppose the signs were always there. 我想其实一直都有征兆吧I mean, she did recently go to that rave at the mall. 她最近还去商场里参加了狂欢派对It was a Spencer's Gifts. 是卖搞笑跟整人玩具的店好吗There was music and a strobe light. 有音乐还有闪光灯If that isn't a rave, then I don't know what one is. 这都不是狂欢派对那什么才是啊You don't know what one is. 你还真不知道什么才是Guys, come on, I think I'm in trouble. 你们别闹了我可能要惨了It's no big deal. I used to get called into H.R. all the time. 不是什么大事啦我以前也总被人事部传唤Ms. Davis is great. Pro tip, 戴维斯女士人很好教你小秘诀if you find strong women sexy, 如果你觉得强大的女人很性感do not say it out loud. 绝对别说出口Oh! She wants to see me, too. 她也要求见我All right, let's get our story straight: 好我们来对一下供词This is all your fault. 这全是你的错Relax. 放轻松You're probably just gonna get a slap on the wrist. 或许只是高高举起轻轻落下Maybe, but do not ask for that, on the wrist or anywhere else. 或许吧但千万别主动说想让鞭子落在哪个部位Thank you both for coming. 谢谢你们俩来这一趟President Siebert asked that I be a part of this conversation塞伯特校长要求我一起出席这次会谈to help us calmly discuss what went wrong 来帮助我们平静地讨论哪里出了错and how we can better move forward. 以及如何踏出进步的脚步迈向未来We are not here to point fingers, 我们不是来指出谁对谁错so, Dr. Cooper, please stop that. 所以库珀博士请停止你的行为President Siebert, would you like to start? 塞伯特校长你想先开始吗This is all my fault. 这全是我的错I assumed you knew the Nobel Prize was good 我以为你们知道诺贝尔奖是好东西and we wanted to win it, so that's on me. 我们想赢回这个奖这是我的锅-No.所以是他...-- Oh, so... - 不是I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that 我想塞伯特校长的意思是this is a setback and we should adopt a different strategy. 这对得奖起了反效果我们需要想想新方法Like maybe you two keep your traps shut. 比如以后两位免开尊口"Traps." That's a fun old word. Where's that been? "免开尊口" 好有意思的成语怎么好久没人用了I-I'm sorry. I-I just-- I-I snapped. 我真的很对不起我就突然理智线断了Oh, you're sorry! It's all better then! 你说对不起啊情况一下子就变好了呢Listen up, you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize, 听好了你们有机会赢得诺贝尔奖and you're blowing it. 现在要被你们搞黄了I think what President Siebert is trying to say 我想塞伯特校长的意思是is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize 你们有机会赢得诺贝尔奖and you're blowing it. 现在要被你们搞黄了Uh, that's exactly what he said. 这还是他的原话啊Yes, but I said it in my calming H.R. Voice. 是啊但是用我平静的人事部嗓音说的The science world is a small community. People talk. 科学界的圈子很小大家肯定会八卦I'm sure by now everyone knows about your tantrum. 我猜现在整个学界都知道你发飙的事了- All right, well, what can we do? - Nothing. -好啦那我们能做什么挽救 -什么都别做Let me make this absolutely clear for you. 我现在跟你们说清楚You two are done talking. 你们俩别想再说一句了We're canceling your speaking engagements and your interviews.我们要取消你们所有谈话的活动与访问You're gonna lie low and let us do damage control. 你们得低调做人让我们做损害控制Well, if that's what you want, that's what we'll do. 如果你想这么做我们就这么做You two winning the Nobel Prize is very important to us,你们俩赢得诺贝尔奖对我们至关重要and not just to the university. 这不只是对学校重要Dr. Fowler, you would be only the fourth woman 福勒博士你会成为第四个to win a Nobel Prize in physics. 赢得诺贝尔物理奖的女性I don't need to tell you 我想不用我提醒你just how inspirational that would be 这事会对下一代的年轻女孩to a generation of young women. 带来多大的鼓舞与激励Uh, yes, of-of course, I know. 当然我明白So, the next words out of your mouth 所以你们下一次开口说话should be on a stage in Stockholm when you're saying... 是在斯德哥尔摩的领奖舞台上说tack för denna ära 塔克佛迪娜阿辣...which is Swedish for, "Thank you for this honor." 也就是瑞典语的"谢谢你们给我这份荣誉" Jag visste det. 有维斯特迪特...which is Swedish for, "I knew that." 也就是瑞典语的"我懂"Dr. Cooper... 库珀博士- You want me to shut my trap? - I do. -你想让我免开尊口吗 -是的Hey, check it out. 你快看That looks like the moped you used to have. 看起来跟你以前那台电瓶车好像啊It wasn't a moped. It was a scooter. 不是电瓶车是小摩托车好吗How's that better? 有比较好吗You do not want to walk into a scooter bar 你可千万别走进一家小摩托车友酒吧and ask that question. 然后问这问题Well, does take me back. 真是让我想起了过去Yeah, the two of us, cruising around town looking for women. 我们俩兄弟骑着它四处找妹子Looking and looking and looking. 这里也找那里也找到处都找Remember that time one looked back and said hi? 还记得有一次那姑娘转头跟我们打招呼吗Oh, yeah. 记得We drove away so fast. 我们飞一般地溜了Hey, I forget, why did you sell the scooter? 我有点忘了你为什么卖了摩托来着I finally got my woman. 我找到了我的妹子了啊Then my woman made me sell it. 而我的妹子叫我卖了它So apparently, if we win, 所以如果我们赢了I'll be the fourth woman ever to win a Nobel in physics.我会成为史上第四个得诺贝尔物理奖的女性Wow, that's a big deal. 这可是一件大事呢Yeah, tell me about it. 这还用说吗This morning, I blew through my antiperspirant in, like, an hour.今天早上我一小时内就用完了我的止汗剂Plus, Sheldon's freaking out 'cause we got in trouble. 再加上我们惹事后谢尔顿就一直坐立难安Well, I've got him distracted for a while. 没事我成功分散他注意力了Doesn't he know how to solve those? 他不是会解那玩意吗Normally, yes, but I switched the stickers around, so... 本来是会的但我换了一下贴纸所以...I don't even think it's possible to solve... 我觉得可能解不回去了Solved it. 解开了What? No, you didn't. 什么你才没呢Not the cube, but the puzzle of why I couldn't solve the cube. 不是解开魔方是解开为什么我拧不回Solution: you switched stickers 2, 9, 32, and 51. 解答是你换了第2 9 32 51格的贴纸Really? This thing has numbers? 真的假的这东西还有号码的吗Anything has a number if you assign it a number, 只要你指派任何事物都可以有号码friend number four. 四号朋友Top five, not bad. 前五名呢不错啊This is so frustrating. 好烦啊I can't believe the university expects us 真不敢相信大学居然要求我们to just sit back and do nothing. 闭嘴坐好什么都不许做Sweetie, you just need to relax. You know what I like to do? 亲爱的你得放宽心你知道我喜欢怎么做吗Numb your brain with alcohol and watch a reality show 用酒精麻痹大脑再看真人秀where wealthy people pick fake arguments with each other? 看有钱人怎么吵假架来博镜头Hey, don't knock it until you've wasted 你没试过在这上面浪费几百小时生命a couple hundred hours of your life. 就别随便评论好吗I'm sorry, but this is, it's hard for me. 我很抱歉但这对我来说太难了Usually I self-soothe by doing science, 通常我都是靠着科研来舒缓情绪but now science reminds me of the Nobel Prize 可一做科研就让我想起诺贝尔奖and the idea that we may not win one, and that makes me angry, 一想到我们可能赢不了我就来气which makes me want to self-soothe by doing science, 一来气我就想用科研来舒缓情绪and on and on and on. 接着就是无限恶性循环So that's been my today. 这就是我今天的经历Hey, how about a massage? 不如去按摩一下吧No, the only person who touches me is my wife. 不行世上唯一能碰触我的人只有我老婆And even I have to let him smell my hand first. 就算是我也得先让他闻闻我的手Okay, well, what about Reiki? 好吧那不如试试灵气疗法吧It's like massage but without touching. 类似按摩却不需要肢体接触Then what is it? 那是什么玩法Well, I place my hands near your body 我把手放在你身体旁边and allow the universal energy field 让宇宙能量场to manifest its healing powers. 来展现它的疗愈能力Okay, I know 我懂啦it sounds crazy, but it really works; ask Leonard. 听起来很疯狂但真的有效不信你问莱纳德Yeah.--- It really does. 对吧-真的有用No. 才怪Oh, uh, how about a sensory deprivation tank? 那感官剥夺水箱怎么样Oh, that's interesting. 听起来很有趣It's supposed to be very calming. 据说特别能让人平静下来Floating in a warm pool of liquid 漂浮在温暖的液体里in a dark, soundless space. 在黑暗寂静的空间中Oh, I don't know how I feel about 我不知道我被剥夺感官后being deprived of all my senses. 会如何反应What are you talking about? All you ever do is complain 你在说什么呀你不是时时刻刻都在抱怨about how things smell, feel and sound. 万物难闻难受又难听吗Oh, I'm right here. Why are you shouting? 我人就在这里你大声嚷嚷什么呀What do you say? We could both use a break. 你觉得如何我们可以一起放个假Come on, I'll do it with you. 来嘛我和你一起做Okay, but not in the same tank. 好吧但不能泡在同一个水箱里I already shared a uterus with my twin sister. 我已经和我的双胞胎姐姐泡过同一个子宫了I don't need to go through that again. 我可不想再经历一次- Are your eyes closed? - Yes. What is it? Show me. -你闭上眼睛了吗 -闭着呢到底是什么快让我看看Okay, open them. 睁开吧You bought me a scooter?! 你给我买了一辆小摩托吗No, I bought me a scooter! 才怪我给自己买了一辆小摩托Then why did you make me close my eyes? 那你为啥要我闭眼睛I wanted to see the expression on your face 我想看看当你看到我高兴时when you saw how happy I was. 是什么表情呀Wait, one second. 等等Won't Bernadette be mad when she finds out? 伯纳黛特看到不会生气吗She's not gonna. I'm keeping it here at the university. 她才不会知道呢我会把车留在学校里My dad kept a secret at work, too, 我爸爸也在工作场所保留了一个秘密but it was his receptionist. 不过那是他的接待员小姐Hey, would you mind if I ride it sometimes? 你介意我偶尔来骑一下吗Yeah, whenever you want. 没问题想骑就骑吧Check it out. 看看That there, son, 这个乖乖is 12 horses of "Eye-talian" thunder. 可具有十二匹意大利猛男马力呢Have either of you done sensory deprivation before? 你们俩有谁体验过感官剥夺水箱吗-Never.没-- No. - 没体验过Okay, just a heads up. 好的友情提醒一下People have different experiences in the tanks. 每个人在水箱中都有不同的体验Uh, some people experience perfect calm. 有的人会非常平静Some people sleep. 有的人会睡着Some people even reported having visions. 还有人声称看到了幻象But if at any time you feel uncomfortable, 但如果你感到不舒服just press the panic button and say, "Bebe." 请马上按下紧急按钮并呼唤"碧碧"That's a stupid word. 这个词也太蠢了That's my name. 那是我的名字What do we push if we feel uncomfortable? 如果我们不舒服我们该按哪里All right, are you ready? 好了你们准备好了吗I'm not saying this is why we came, 虽然这不是我们的来意but can I close the lid on him? 但可以让我帮他盖上盖子吗No. 不行No. 还是不行Shall we? 开始吧One second. 等一下--水的酸碱度是在7.2Yes.-- Is the pH between 7.2 and 7.8? 是的-7.8之间吗- Is the water drained and replaced after each use? - Yes. -每次使用后水都换新吗 -是的-Yes.-盐度值是30%吗- Is the saline level 30%? - 是的Yes.- Does your filtration system use ultraviolet light to kill bacteria? - -你的过滤系统是用紫外线来杀菌的吗是的-I don't need to get in. I'm relaxed already. 我不用进去了我现在就够放松了Bebe. 碧碧What's wrong? 怎么了Nothing. I just wanted to make sure it worked. 没事我只是想确认一下好不好使Also, I changed my mind. 还有我改变主意了It's fun to say your name. 你的名字念起来挺好玩的Bebe. Bebe. 碧碧碧碧Hey, what you got there? 你拿的什么呀Just tossing out this old helmet I don't need. 我只是要把这个没用的老头盔给扔了I thought you were at the park. 你以为你去公园了呢We were. The kids got sleepy. 我们去了不过孩子想睡觉了Great story. I need to make a phone call. 很好等我打个电话先Howard, why do you look all guilty? 霍华德你怎么看起来充满罪恶感Like when I catch you deleting your browser history? 就像我抓到你删除浏览器记录时一样Never mind. 没事了Hmm, this is nice. 这样真不错It's sort of like floating in space. 这就像是漂浮在太空中But better because my eyeballs haven't frozen. 但我的眼球没有冻住所以更好Ooh, colors. 五彩斑斓It's infinite iterations 这是曼德尔布罗集合中of the "Nautilus" section of the Mandelbrot set. 鹦鹉螺部分的无限迭代呀That's some good stuff. 真是好东西Wow, this is really dark. 这里可真黑啊There's no difference between my eyes being open or closed. 不管我睁眼还是闭眼都感觉不到区别呢Open, closed. 睁眼闭眼Open, clo-- nope, same thing. 睁眼闭算了都一样Ooh, pretty. 哇好美丽You winning a Nobel Prize would be an inspiration to all women. 如果你获得了诺贝尔奖对所有女性都是一种鼓舞All women, Amy, and you're blowing it. 所有女性艾米可你搞砸了I was gonna be a scientist, but since you lost, 我本来要成为一名科学家可因为你输了I'm just gonna give makeup tutorials on YouTube. 我现在只能在油管频道上开设化妆课了Look all the infinite Mandelbrot sets. 看看这无止境的曼德布洛特集合Here a brot, there a brot, everywhere a Mandelbrot. 这里布洛特那里布洛特到处都是曼德布洛特Thanks for letting us down. 谢谢你让我们如此失望I'm gonna marry a dope and have his dopey children. 我现在要嫁给傻瓜给他生一群小傻瓜了- You're such a disappointment. - I can't do science. -你真是太令人失望了 -我不能从事科研了- Way to not go, girl. - Disappointing. -下得一手烂棋 -太失败了I am woman, hear me bake.---- Math is too hard. 我是妇女只配下厨数学真的太难了- Disappointment. - You're letting us down. -令人沮丧 -你让我们失望- You're letting us down. - You're blowing it. -你让我们失望 -你搞砸了- Disappointment. - You're blowing it. -失望透顶 -你搞砸了Okay, hour's up. Let's see how they're doing. 一小时到了看看他们如何吧Hey, buddy, how you feeling? 老兄你还好吗Five more minutes? 再玩5分钟嘛Hey, Amy. Relaxed? 艾米放松了没I'm a failure! I can't do this! 我是个失败者我做不到Can someone close her lid? 谁来把她的盖子关上She's kind of harshing my mellow. 她把我的平和心情都打破了That tank was amazing. 那个水箱太神奇了It was like Disneyland, but the rides were in 35 dimensions. 就像是在迪斯尼乐园但坐的是35维度的过山车And instead of Mickey, I had my picture taken 而且和我合照的不是米奇with the concept that time is an illusion. 而是时间即幻觉的概念That's great. I'm so happy for you. 真不错我为你高兴哦Uh, yeah, a little constructive criticism: 我提一个建设性的批评You're saying you're happy, but you're using your mean voice. 你嘴上说很高兴但你用了非常刻薄的声音Thanks for pointing that out. 谢谢你指出来Now you got it. 现在好了Sheldon, I'm freaking out. 谢尔顿我都要崩溃了Well, is this still about the Nobel Prize? 还是因为诺贝尔奖的事吗Yes, it's about the Nobel Prize! 是因为诺贝尔奖的事And back to the mean voice. 刻薄的声音又出来了It's just-- it's too much pressure. 压力太大了You know? It was bad enough when I was letting us down. 我让我们俩失望就够糟糕了But now, if I don't win, it's like I'm letting all women down. 但现在如果我没赢我就让所有女性失望了Hang on. 慢着What-what are you doing? 你在做什么I'm googling what to do when someone's freaking out. 我在搜索有人崩溃时应该怎么做Uh, whoa, it says here 这上面说that a walk can be calming. 散步能让人平静下来Bye. 拜You still mad? 你还在生气吗Are you still a jackass? 你还是混蛋吗Now, now, I asked you first. 好了我先问你的I can't believe you were sneaking around my back like a child. 真不敢相信你这么幼稚背着我使坏I just didn't want you to worry. 我只是不想你担心No, you just didn't want to get caught. 不你只是不想被抓现行I'm sorry, but you telling me what I can and can't do 抱歉但你告诉我什么能做什么不能做is pretty damn emasculating. 真的有损我的男子尊严Emasculating? 有损男子尊严You were about to ride bitch on a moped with another man.你准备和另一个男人贴着骑电瓶车It's a scooter. 那是摩托车It can go on some highways. 可以开上某些高速公路What if you fell? 万一你摔了呢What if you got hurt? 万一你受伤呢I don't want to raise two small children 我可不想养两个幼儿and one large vegetable. 加一个大大的植物人I'm sorry, but I need to have something in my life 抱歉但我需要人生中有点东西- that reminds me I'm still a man. - You do. -提醒我我还是个男人 -你有You have a wife and two children who need their father. 你有妻子还有两个需要父亲的孩子I know that. 我知道Uh, well, you don't act like it. 你表现的并不像你知道Why do you want to ride that stupid thing anyway? 你为什么要骑那个愚蠢的东西I don't know. 我不知道Maybe I just miss the freedom I had as a younger man. 也许只是想念年轻时的自由What freedom? You lived with your mother. 什么狗屁自由你和你妈一起住You had a curfew. 还给你规定了宵禁时间It wasn't a curfew; it was just a time of night 那不是宵禁那只是定了某个时间where if I got home after that, she would be mad. 如果我晚于那个时间回家她会生气You know what? I'm done talking about this. 知道吗我不想再说了I will!--- Do whatever you want. 我会的随便你吧-I just want you to ask yourself if that tiny, ridiculous scooter 我只是希望你问问自己你是否想死在is the hill you want to die on. 那辆又小又可笑的摩托上Oh, yeah, this feels good. 对感觉好极了Born to ride, buddy. 天生就是骑机车的料伙计Yeah, watch out, ladies. 对小心了女士们All right, well, wish me luck. 好了祝我好运吧You won't need luck. 你不需要运气Yeah, only condoms. 只需要安全套He sees that car, right? 他看到那辆车了吧I tried to console her, but nothing seemed to work. 我想安慰她但似乎都不管用Okay, when you say you consoled her, 你说你安慰她what exactly does that mean? 是怎么安慰的I took a walk, I came back, 我出去散步回去后she was still upset, so I came here. 她还在难过所以我过来了Well, I don't see what else you could've done. 我不知道你还能做什么了呢You know, I know she's unhappy, but I don't know how to help. 我知道她不开心但我不知道怎么帮她Maybe you can't. 也许你帮不了Sometimes people are upset, 有时候别人难过and all you can do is be there for them. 你能做的只是在旁边陪伴And while I'm there, what do I do? 我陪伴时要做什么Nothing. 没什么Oh, so like what you're doing right now to help me. 就像你现在帮我的这样You're up. 到你了Sheldon, maybe you don't know what to do 谢尔顿也许你不知道怎么做because Amy's always taking care of you. 是因为艾米总是照顾你Of course. 当然And by calming down, I've taken away the one thing 我出去冷静她不能照顾我that gives her comfort: caring for me. 我带走了唯一能给她安慰的东西That's what you heard? 你从我的话中理解出这意思吗Yes. 是的No, I need to have an emotional meltdown 我需要来一个情绪崩溃so she's forced to focus on me and forget about herself. 她就能被迫注意我忘了自己No. Th-That's not even close to what-- 不根本差得十万八千...Uh, you know, actually, that might be your best move. Yeah. 其实也许这是最好办法Amy. Thank goodness you're home. 艾米你在家真是太好了I don't know if you can tell, but I am literally losing my mind. 我不知道你能否看出来但我字面上失去理智了You are? 是吗Isn't it obvious? I just used "literally" figuratively. 还不明显吗我都乱用了"字面上"这词Like a crazy person. 像个疯子那样[许多人常乱用]What is going on with you? Are you okay? 你怎么了你还好吗No, I am not okay, so I suggest you start focusing on me 我不好所以我建议你关注我to the exclusion of your own feelings. 忘掉自己的那些心情Sheldon, whatever you're doing, 谢尔顿不管你在做什么I-I don't have time for it right now. 我现在没时间I'm sorry. I know you're upset, 对不起我知道你很难过but I don't know how to make it better. 但我不知道怎么让你好受些I don't know how you can, either. 我也不知道你能怎么做I mean, I don't know if anybody can. 我不知道能否有人让我好受些I just-- 我只是...I feel like I'm letting everybody down. 我感觉我让所有人失望I'm about to hold you. Would you like to smell my hand first? 我准备抱你你想先闻我的手吗I'm fine. 不用Thank you. 谢谢♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪ ♪ 软猫猫暖猫猫 ♪♪ Little ball of fur ♪ ♪ 小毛球猫猫 ♪♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪ ♪ 笑猫猫困猫猫 ♪♪ Purr, purr, purr ♪ ♪ 咕噜咕噜咕噜 ♪That helps. 有帮助Shh, I'm singing. 安静我在唱歌♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪ ♪ 软猫猫暖猫猫 ♪♪ Little ball of fur ♪ ♪ 小毛球猫猫 ♪Raj said you got $800. 拉杰说你卖了800块Jerk. 臭小子On a positive note, the scooter helped Bert meet a girl. 往好的一面看摩托帮伯特认识了一个女生Oh, that's nice. What does she do? 太好了她做什么的She's an E.R. Nurse. 急诊室的护士No.-- Oh, no. 没事-不是吧-It was a real meet-cute. 那是一场美丽的邂逅She popped his arm back in the socket, 她把他错位的胳膊接回去and when he came to, they exchanged phone numbers. 他醒来后他们交换了电话号码Ms. Davis? 戴维斯女士Dr. Fowler, how can I help you? 福勒博士有何贵干You were right about this Nobel Prize bigger than I am. 你说得对诺贝尔奖比我本身重要and you were right that, like it or not, I am a role model. 你说得对不管喜不喜欢我都是榜样But you are wrong to keep me on the sidelines. 但你让我当旁观者是错的I am smart, I'm capable, 我聪明我有能力and I can make a difference. 我可以带来改变Well said. You make a strong case. 说得好观点强而有力Damn right,'cause I'm a strong woman 那是当然因为我是强而有力的女人wearing a strong man's deodorant! 擦的是强而有力男人的止汗剂Well, how about have a seat? 不如坐下吧Maybe you'd like a glass of water? 想喝杯水吗You have anything with a little more kick? 有没有带劲一点的Seriously, Dr. Fowler 别闹了福勒博士this is human resources. 这里可是人力资源部You're right. I-I don't know what I was thinking. 你说得对我不知道我是怎么想的You want ice, you're out of luck. 要冰块就没有了。

-Shel don: In the winter, that seat is cl ose enough to the radiator to remain warm,冬天的时候，这个地方离电暖器最近，很暖和，and yet not so cl ose as to cause perspiration;也不会很热到直流汗。

in the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening wind ows there, and there.夏天的时候，这里又刚好可以吹过堂风，是来自这扇窗户和那扇的。

It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation,而且坐这里看电视的角度，可以直接看，又不会影响谈话，nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.不会太远，不至于造成脖子过分扭曲。

I could go on, but I think I've mad e my point.我可以继续，我想我已经说明白了。

别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?Forget? You want me to forget?我这脑子啥东西忘得掉啊!This mind does not forget.从我妈给我断奶后我就没忘掉过一件事I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.- 那天是周二下着毛毛雨- 好了...- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...你哭什么Why are you crying?我哭我自己蠢啊Because I'm stupid!那也没理由哭啊That's no reason to cry.人只有悲伤的时候才该哭One cries because one is sad.比如说其他人都太蠢我感到悲伤For example, I cry because others are stupid所以我才哭我和许多女生交往过Well,I've dated plenty of women.Joyce Kim还有Leslie Winkle...There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...通知牛津英语词典的编辑们Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary."许多"现在被重新定义为"两个"The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."Sheldon 你是个聪明人Sheldon,you are a smart guy.- 你得知道- 我是"聪明人"?- You must know... - I'm "smart"?要被归为"聪明人" 我得去掉60点智商才行I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as "smart."- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Koothrappali.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Hofstader.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Mr.Wolowitz.我是硕士I have a Master's degree.谁不是?Who doesn't?多年来我们一直潜心试图探究他将如何繁衍后代Over the years,we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce.我主张的是有丝分裂I'm an advocate of mitosis.什么?I'm sorry?我相信总有一天当Sheldon吃到一定量的泰国菜I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food他就会分裂成两个Sheldonand split into two Sheldons.另一方面我在想Sheldon可能是他这个物种的幼虫状态On the other hand,I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species,有一天他会做茧不出俩月就破茧成蝶and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.Howard 电话在响!Howard,the phone is ringing!我有个疯狂的主意老妈接电话如何!Here's a crazy idea,Ma: Answer it!你好?Hello?好的稍等All right,hold on.是你朋友Leonard!It's your friend,Leonard!他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!He wants to know why you're not at school today!我不是去上学老妈我在大学就职I don't go to school,Ma. I work at a university.那就是学校! 快接电话!That's a school! Now pick up the phone!我谁都不想理I don't want to talk to anybody.要我叫Leonard把你的家庭作业带来吗?Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework? !我没什么家庭作业的I don't have homework.我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering!抱歉了不起先生Excuse me,Mr. Fancy-Pants.想吃冰棒吗?Want me to get you a Popsicle?樱桃味的好吧!Cherry,please!樱桃味的我吃了只剩蔬菜味的了I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.你让我真想自杀呀You make me want to kill myself.她是位女生，她也是位朋友，但她不是我的，请原谅我做这个动作，"女朋友" She's a girl. She's a friend.She is not my-please forgive me for doing this--"Girlfriend."哼我不喜欢虫子怎么啦Yeah,well,I don't like bugs,okay?它们让我害怕They freak me out.有趣Interesting你既怕虫子又怕女人You're afraid of insects and women.瓢虫[英文: 女士+虫]还不得把你吓昏了Ladybugs must render you catatonic.不然你怎么考试How else are you gonna study for the tests?最好还要考试吗There's gonna be a test?可不止一次考试Test-sss.Sheldon 我看到你在为SmithsonianSo,Sheldon,I see you're organizing your papers傻冒儿博物馆赶论文呢for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.在撤下Leslie Winkle的永久展览前那里没有多余的展厅There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit.我和Sheldon谈过了他也不好受Um,I talked to Sheldon and he feels terrible and he agrees他也觉得自己无理取闹有些过分了that he was unreasonable and out of line.真的?很好呀Really? Well,that's great.就给他道个小歉嘛?Yeah,so just apologize to him,okay?那么你和她...So,you and her...- 没啦普通邻居而已- 真的?- No,just neighbors. - Really.隔壁住着这样的妞儿怎么都不行动啊I don't know how you live next door to that without doing something about it.其实... 科学才是我的女神Actually... science is my lady.那年是1995年The year was 1995.地点是密西西比州首府杰克逊The place: Jackson,Mississippi.我坐了整整十个小时的汽车Having spent ten hours on a bus,途中甚至两次违反了我自己定下的规定During which I had to twice violate my personal rule在行驶的车辆上上了厕所Against relieving myself on board a moving vehicle...等我终于到达I finally arrived第四届美国南部星舰迷年度大会现场At the fourth annual Dixie-Trek convention却发现我的偶像威尔·惠顿上别处玩去了Only to find that my idol Wil Wheaton decided he had决定不过来帮我的超级英雄玩具签名了Better things to do than to show up and sign my Action Figure.什么What?你背弃了我威尔·惠顿You betrayed me,Wil Wheaton.现在我的复仇来了Now I have my revenge.No,no,I understand.要是我奶奶有个三长两短Anything happened to my mee-maw,我肯定成了伤心欲绝的小甜派I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.我得澄清一下I should clarify that statement By explaining that she calls me "moon pie." 我这么说是因为她叫我"小甜派"By explaining that she calls me "moon pie."这跟我爸说的完全一样That's exactly what my father said."来看球赛吧去看球赛吧""Come to the games. Watch the games."周复一周的Week in and week out from the time从五岁直到我上大学I was five until I went off to college.人生当中最漫长的七年Longest seven years of my life.这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言I see no organizational system in here whatsoever.你周一穿什么内裤Which panties do you wear on Mondays?我不要内裤I don't need panties.只要短裤和衬衫I just need shorts and a shirt.妈妈经常跟我说My mother always told me一个人要穿干净内裤one should wear clean underpants以防发生意外in case one is in an accident.星星好漂漂啊Stars are pretty,aren't they?在那高高的地方Up above the world so high.像天上的小钻石Like little diamonds in the sky.太优美了兄弟That's beautiful,dude.你应该把这句话写下来You should... you should write that down免得被人山寨了before someone steals it.How did you see it?你说了不看的You said you wouldn't look.不好意思Sorry.正如我所说是英雄就偷窥As I told you,the hero always peeks你好克瑞普克Hello, Kripke.你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧This classic prank comes to you来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿·库珀from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face,这段视频即刻就会上传到YouTubethis video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.并感谢莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德和拉杰·库萨帕里Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali 感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.我计划逃回印度去你呢实验日志第一篇Research journal, entry one.我准备开展I'm about to embark on one of科学生涯中的巨大挑战之一the great challenges of my scientific career:教佩妮物理学teaching Penny physics.我称之为大猩猩工程Please,please,I don't have a lot of time.听着Ramona总算打瞌睡了你得帮我甩了她Look,Ramona finally dozed off,and I need you to help me get rid of her.甩了她? 怎么个甩法?Get rid of her how?我不知道但显然我正处于某种关系中I don't know,but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship,而你似乎是终结这类关系的老手and you seem to be an expert at ending them.你说什么?Excuse me?我看见男人们一个接一个从这儿离开倒是没见过再回来的I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.Sheldon 你真的很宽宏大量谢谢你我很感激Sheldon,this was big of you. Thank you. I really appreciate it.谢谢Thank you.- 晚安Sheldon - Penny...- Good night,Sheldon. - Penny...- 啥? - 你有一手- Yes? - Well played.谢谢Thank you.但请记住能力越大责任越大(出自)Just rember: with great power comes great responsibility.明白Understood.不是厉害是错误我没有改我的状态呀It's not bold,it's a mistake. I didn't change my status.那是谁改的?Well,then who did?我没的选择他在她面前哭了I had no choice. He cried in front of her.我明白你这么做觉得自己很大方但赠送礼物的基础原则是礼尚往来I know you think you're being generous,but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity. 你不是给我一份礼物You haven't given me a gift.你给了我一份责任You've given me an obligation.别太郁闷Penny 一般新手都会犯这个错误Don't feel bad,Penny,it's a classic rookie mistake.我和Sheldon过的第一个光明节他吼了我八夜My first Hanukah with Sheldon,he yelled at me for eight nights.没事的你用不着回赠礼物的Now,hey,it's okay. You don't have to get me anything in return.我当然得回赠了Of course I do.风俗的精髓就在于我得去给你买份价值相当的礼物The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value才能够代表你的礼物所表达的相同的情意and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me.怪不得每年这个时候自杀率狂飙呀It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.忘了这事吧我不会送你礼物了Okay,you know what? Forget it. I'm not giving you a present.不太迟了我看见了No,it's too late. I see it.那个精灵贴纸上写着"赠Sheldon"That elf sticker says,"To Sheldon."就是啊看别人热闹最乐呵I know. It's funny when it's not happening to us.Sheldon 我真的非常抱歉Sheldon,I am very,very sorry.不我自找的谁叫我出现在你生命里又那么可爱那么举足轻重呢No. No,I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life.我需要有人载我去卖场I'm going to need a ride to the mall.风水轮流转我们该倒霉了It's happening to us.这在Penny压力很大的前提下才有用That presupposes Penny is tense.她了解你她会压力很大的咱不都是嘛快买礼品篮吧!She knows you. She's tense. We all are. Buy a basket!喔太好了Penny 你终于来交换礼物了Ah,good,Penny,you're here to exchange gifts.你一定很高兴因为我的回礼准备很周到哦You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared for whatever you have to offer.行~ 给你Okay,here.先说一句我的肠胃不太舒服I should note I'm having some digestive distress,所以要是我突然离开一阵你可别慌so,if I excuse myself abruptly,don't be alarmed.你知道这对我意味着什么吗?!Do you realize what this means?!只需要一个健康的卵细胞就可以培育属于我的Leonard Nimoy了! All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!Sheldon 你这是干嘛?!Sheldon! What did you do?!我知道啊!I know!这点东西咋够呢It's not enough,is it?这样好了Here.Leonard 看啊Sheldon拥抱我了诶Leonard,look! Sheldon's hugging me.真是农神节的奇迹呀It's a Saturnalia miracle.什么?What?他说也许我们该拿你参加机器人杀手大赛He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot competition.Sheldon 你干嘛呢?Sheldon,what are you doing?我和这小女孩交朋友呢你叫什么名字?I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name?RebeccaRebecca.嗨Rebecca 我是你的新朋友SheldonHi,Rebecca. I'm your new friend,Sheldon.不别搞了走吧No,you're not. Let's go.- 我俩聊得正投机呢- 别抬头上面有摄像头维持五个朋友的友情太困难了所以...Maintaing five friendships promises to be a Herculean task,so...我要开除你们其中一个I'm going to have to let one of you go.我我选我吧Me,me,let it be me.我有罪啊我淘汰了Guilty as charged. I'm out.不你也安全No. You too are safe.哦不是吧我该怎么做呀?Oh,come on. What do I have to do?来拿点吧有钱了再还Here. Take some. Pay me back when you can.哇里面钱还不少啊Wow,you got a lot of money in there.所以才派蛇来看守嘛That's why it's guarded by snakes.- 拿点吧- 别犯傻了- Take some. - Don't be silly.我才不傻I'm never silly.我的花销占我税后工资的46.9%My expenses account for 46. 9% of my after-tax income.其他钱就分摊给小的储蓄帐户The rest is divvied up between a small savings account,也就是这个糊弄人的花生脆罐子this deceptive container of peanut brittle还有一个超级英雄手办被掏空的屁股and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure为了他的安全起见将继续隐姓埋名who shall remain nameless for his own protection.或者说为了她的安全起见Or her own protection.我考虑了一下那个问题You know,I've given the matter some thought,我想我愿意做高智商外星人的宠物and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens. 有意思Interesting.问问我为什么Ask me why.必须问啊?Do I have to?当然了这样才能继续对话啊Of course. That's how you move a conversation forward.为什么呢?Why?将会有很多学习的机会The learning opportunities would be abundant.还有呢我喜欢人家挠我肚肚Additionally,I like having my belly scratched.干得好啊LeonardWell done,Leonard.真正的英雄不求恭维The true hero doesn't seek adulation.出于本性为正义和公平而战He fights for right and justice simply because it's his nature. 我错了I was wrong.歌手会写歌来歌颂你啊Minstrels will write songs about you.* 曾有一位勇敢的青年他的名字叫做Leonard ** There once was a brave lad named Leonard ** 满嘴跑火车逞英雄** With a -fi fiddle dee-dee ** 他与可怕巨人对峙** He faced a fearsome giant ** 而Raj却只想嘘嘘** While Raj just wanted to pee.*见到你真好妈妈Good to see you,Mother.这是你要的茶妈妈Here's your tea,Mother.- 乌龙茶? - 嗯- Oolong? - Yes.- 散装的不是袋泡的? - 嗯- Loose,not bagged? - Yes.- 泡了三分钟? - 嗯- Steeped three minutes? - Yes.- 加了2%的牛奶- 嗯- Two-percent milk? - Yes.- 分开加热的? - 嗯- Warmed separately? - Yes.- 一茶勺糖? - 嗯- One teaspoon sugar? - Yes.- 原糖? - 嗯- Raw sugar? - Yes.凉了It's cold.我再来一回I'll start again.我们说到哪了?So,where were we?Howard和他妈妈一起住Raj只有喝醉了才和女人讲话Howard lives with his mother and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk.开讲吧Go.说啥?Say what?不就是我刚说的嘛That's basically what I just said.你带老公来上班你知道规矩的You brought your husband to work. You know the rules.那是我的座That is my spot.在这个不断变化的世界中那是唯一一个连续点In an ever-changing world,it is a single point of consistency.如果将我的人生比作四维笛卡尔坐标系里的一个函数If my life were expressed as a function on a four-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, 在我第一次坐上那儿的时候那个座的坐标就是(0,0,0,0)that spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.好吧All right.好了舒适惬意安逸0 0 0There,nice and comfy cozy. Zero,zero,zero.少了个0There's one more zero.你把时间参数忘了You forgot the time parameter.坐你的沙发吧Sit on the damn couch.宝贝你好...Hey,baby...他的右手给他打电话了?His right hand is calling him?不是啦是Leslie Winkle 说来话长No,it's Leslie Winkle. It's a long story.但...一切都变了But... Oh,this changes everything.什么是真的? 什么不是? 我怎么知道?What's real? What isn't? How can I know?那么你们干嘛还坐火车?Well,then why are you doing it?我们投票来着3票坐飞机Well,we had a vote. Three of us voted for airplane.Sheldon投坐火车所以我们坐火车Sheldon voted for train. So we're taking the trn.我是找到盒子了但没有钥匙Okay,I got a box,but there's no key in here.都是信Just letters.拿错盒子了放回去That's the wrg box. Put it back.哦Sheldon 都是你外婆寄的信?Oh,Sheldon,are these letters from your grandmother?表读那些信哦!Don't read those letters!呀瞧瞧她叫你"月亮派" 多可爱啊Oh,look,she calls you "Moon Pie." That is so cute.快把信放下!Put down the letters!- 我来了- 咋样月亮派?- I'm back. - What up,Moon Pie?除了外婆谁都不许叫我月亮派Nobody calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!她叫我月亮派是因为我太口耐她想把我吃掉She calls me Moon Pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.我是物理学家I'm a physicist.我对整个宇宙及其包含的事物都有所了解I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains. Radiohead是干嘛的?Who's Radiohead?我对整个宇宙及其包含的重要事物都有所了解祝你好运了I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe. Good luck.Penny 这是你的生意你有最终决定权Penny,this is your enterprise,so it's ultimately your decision,但鉴于Leonard的工作质量我强烈建议把他打发掉but based on the quality of his work,I'd strongly recommend that we let Leonard go.你想开了我?You want to fire me?我想怎样没关系是Penny的决定What I want is irrelevant. This is Penny's decision.早知道我要在周六晚上做这个我还不如待在印度You know,if I wanted to spend my Saturday nights doing this,I could have stayed in India.Penny 打工仔团体是需要好好教育的Penny,the labor force is a living organism that must be carefully nurtured.任何会产生不良后果的抱怨必须及时喝止看着Any counterproductive grumbling must be skillfully headed off by management. Observe. 少说话多干活Less talk,more work!- 做的好- 谢谢- Nicely done. - Thank you.你要看到什么交头接耳告诉我You hear any union talk,you let me know.要不要来点咖啡?Honey,do you want some coffee?我不喝咖啡I don't drink coffee.行了你要是睡过去了我们肯定完成不了Come on,but if you don't stay awake we'll never finish in time.对不起但是我绝不喝咖啡I'm sorry,coffee's out of the question.当我搬来加利福尼亚我答应妈妈不磕药的When I moved to California,I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.Sheldon 我们还有380个要做呢Sheldon,we still have 380 of these things to make.晚安你们行的我对你们绝对有信心I have complete faith that you will make them. Good night.Leonard?Leonard?但是Shelon 没了你英明的领导我们的事业绝对是做不起来的But,Sheldon,without your insight and leadership this entire enterprise will surely fail.当然你说的对You're right,of course.来这个会有帮助Here,this will help.好吧但要这让我上瘾或产生幻觉Very well,but if this leads to opiates or hallucinogenics,你得去和我妈交待了you're going to have to answer to my mother.好吧我了解了你生气了Okay,I get it,you're angry.你不愿见到你的小鸟飞离巢穴You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest."小鸟"? 你都快30了!"Little bird"? You're almost 30!飞吧我的神呐!Fly,for God's sake!好我不搬! 开心了吧疯婆子?Fine,I'll stay! Ya happy,crazy lady?这么说吧我要怎么解释好呢?Oh,let's see. How can I explain this?他们不知道如何使用他们的盾Um,they don't know how to use their shields.盾?Shields?是的就像里的当你要战斗时你要举起你的盾Yeah,you know,like inStar Trek,when you're in battle and you raise the shields?这想法从哪儿冒出来的?Where the hell'd that come from?Penny 我发现你今晚也是一个人所以如果在某个时候Penny. I realize you're also on your own tonight,so if,at some point,你感觉到无聊了请千万不要来打扰我you find yourself with nothing to do,please do not disturb me.我几个礼拜前去你们那儿你们正巧不在我就忘在那儿了Well,I went in there a few weeks ago and you guys weren't home and I forgot it there. 你去了我的... 为什么... 你在说什么?You went in my... Why would... What are you saying?又没啥大不了的我不过是泡咖啡时没牛奶了It's not a big deal. I was making coffee and I ran out of milk.你是那个偷奶贼!You're the milk thief!Leonard说我多心了可我就是觉得盒子变轻了Leonard said I was crazy,but I knew that carton felt lighter Penny?干嘛What?我睡不着I can't sleep.也许是因为你的大窟窿还张着Maybe that's because your hole is still open.我想家I'm homesick.你家离这不过20尺Your home is 20 feet from here.20尺还是20光年这都不重要20 feet,20 light-years,it doesn't matter.在我这如同一个星系那么遥远It's in a galaxy far,far away.可恶Damn it.你想让我怎么办What do you want me to do?给我唱"软软凯蒂猫"Sing "Soft Kitty."那是只有你生病时才唱的歌That's only for when you're sick.思家也是一种病Homesick is a type of being sick.拜托真的要唱吗Come on,do I really have to?那设想下我们通宵达旦闲话家常I suppose we can stay up and talk.- Penny? - Yeah?谢谢你留我在这过夜Thank you for letting me stay here.不客气甜心You're welcome,sweetie.好我已经困了你出去Okay,I'm sleepy now. Get out.不知道我为啥要担心I don't see why I have to worry.又不是我的事业悬而未决My career's not hanging in the balance.开玩笑呢That was a joke.很好笑It's funny,因为这是事实because it's true.休斯顿这里是国际空间站Houston,International Space Station.我们这有点小状况We have a little situation up here.我们要临时安排一次太空行走We'd like to make an unscheduled space walk.国际空间站这里是休斯顿I.S.S.,Houston.将有哪些成员出舱?Which crew members would be involved in this E.V.A.?我们都想出舱走走Houston,we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes.这将不予批准I.S.S.,I'm afraid we can't authorize that.其实我们只是通知一下Houston,this is more of an FYI call.我们已经被迫出舱了We are basically out the door.好家伙的我的宗教说如果我们这一世受苦下一世会得到回报的My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. 和Sheldon在北极呆三个月Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon,我就能转世投胎成一个长翅膀的大屌亿万富翁了!and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!。

We're pinned down! 被敌人包围We can't get through! 我们冲不出去了Sheldon, get over here and help! 谢尔顿快过来帮忙Okay, one second. 好马上来Sheldon, why are you jumping up and down? 谢尔顿你干嘛在原地上下蹦I'm trying to shoot. 我试着开枪呢Then use the shoot button, 那你按开枪钮啊not the "Wonderful thing about Tiggers" button! 不是按"演示跳跳虎的强项"钮That's it, we're dead. 结束了团灭Okay, challenge them again. 申请再战Doing it right now. 战书已下Oh, they can't. 他们打不了There's an important Little League game tomorrow. 明天有场重要的9到12岁儿童棒球大赛呢No wonder they beat us, they're jocks. 难怪能虐我们人家是运动员What happened to me? 我这是怎么了I used to excel at these things. 我曾叱咤游戏界Kids are always better at video games. 小孩子向来比较会打电玩Well, I don't like it. 我讨厌这样Mm, if it makes you feel better, you still dress like a child. 有句安慰的话不知该不该讲你穿着还像小孩No, but it's not just video games. 不不只是电玩I downloaded the new O.S. For my phone, took me a week 我给手机更新了版本我花了一周to stop accidentally texting kissy faces to everyone. 才不再意外给人发送亲亲表情Oh, so our love is not real? 所以我们的爱情是假的吗Well, I-I know how you feel. 我懂你的感觉I tried one of those electronic Japanese toilets, 我试着用过日本的全自动马桶practically shot myself across the room. 结果差点把我弹飞出厕所I guess I just need to face it, 看来我不得不承认I'm no longer a wunderkind. 我不再是少年神童Now I just wonder what's for lunch. 我现在只是少根筋不知中午吃啥儿童Hot dogs. 热狗I didn't know you could drink while you're breastfeeding. 我都不知道哺乳期可以喝酒Yeah, they say the yeast in beer helps with milk production. 人家说啤酒里的酵母有助产奶I'm pretty sure that's a myth, let me check. 我敢说这是不实传闻我查查Ruin it for me and I'll break this glass over your head. 查出来我不能喝我就用这杯子打爆你头To denial. 敬自欺欺人一杯Oh, I'm gonna get another. 我去续杯You want food? 要吃的吗Yeah, breastfeeding burns, like, 5,000 calories a day. 要哺乳每天会消耗掉5000卡热量Do not touch that phone. 敢碰你手机试试Penny? 佩妮Oh, Zack. Hey. 扎克你好啊What are the odds of running into you here? 得多巧啊能在这里碰到你Well, it's a bar, so pretty good. 这是间酒吧所以不需要多巧Uh, what's new? 有何新鲜事Oh, tons of stuff. 挺多的呢Put artificial grass in my backyard, got engaged, 后院种了人工草皮订了婚had a scary mole that turned out to be Sharpie. 疑似皮肤癌的痣后来发现只是记号笔印迹Well, congratulations. 恭喜你啊That's what my dermatologist said. 我的皮肤科医生也这么说No, on-on getting engaged, good for you. 是恭喜你订婚太好了Oh, thanks. How about you? 谢谢那你呢Hey, how's Leonard? 莱纳德最近好吗Is he still smart? 还那么聪明吗Yes, yes, he's working for the government 还好还那么聪明他正在为on an infinite persistence gyroscope. 政府研发无限持续陀螺仪Of course, the first time I say it right, 果然我第一次说正确he's not even here. 他人就刚好不在I love that little guy. 我可喜欢这小个子了Hey, we should all have dinner sometime. 或许我们该找一天一起吃饭Uh, yeah, sure, I'll check with Leonard. 可以啊我再问一下莱纳德Cool, I'll check with Sara. 太好了那我也问下莎拉Sara, pull up my calendar. 莎拉[Siri] 调出我的日程表It never works for me. 这功能从来没好使过I've been thinking about our recent humiliation. 我一直在想我们这次遭人羞辱的事You're gonna have to be more specific. 你得说得更详细才知道哪次At the hands of those teenagers. 被孩子们羞辱More. 还不够详细Boy teenagers. 被少年们羞辱Oh, the video game. Yeah, that was bad. 电玩啊是啊太惨了I started doing some reading on cognitive vitality, 我开始去阅读一些有关认知活力的文章and I came across an area of research called "Super-aging."读到了一个有关"青春永驻"的研究领域You know who's a super-ager? Jennifer Lopez. 你们知道谁青春永驻吗珍妮弗·洛佩兹You know who's a super-ager? Jennifer Lopez. 美国知名大牌女歌手Like, what is her secret? 她的不老秘方到底是什么啊Now, this is rare. 这情况还真罕见I don't know which one of you I want to stop talking first.我不知道自己想先让你们俩哪个闭嘴The theory is that if you really tax your brain, 这理论是说如果你狠狠磨炼你的大脑the neurofibers will become thicker 脑神经纤维会变得更粗壮and the glial cells more lustrous. 神经胶质细胞更有光泽Like JLo's hair. 就像珍妮弗的秀发Boy, it is neck and neck right now. 两位真的是不相上下啊How is super-aging any different 那保持青春永驻跟than, like, doing crossword puzzles? 做填字游戏有什么区别Well, it's not just doing simple cognitive tasks. 不再是做些简单的认知任务就行了You need to push your brain out of its comfort zone 你得逼你的大脑走出原本的舒适区and reach mental exhaustion. 再使其达到精神疲惫的状态I drive you to work every day, 我天天开车载你上班my brain must look like the Hulk. 我的大脑估计得强壮得像绿巨人If you really want to challenge yourself, 如果你真的想挑战自己极限you could learn to speak Hindi. 你可以试着学印地语啊Jab mein aat saal ka tha Maine seekha tha. 我八岁那年就学会了Could you say that in English? 你能用英语说吗I actually, I never learned Hindi. 我其实从没学过印地语Hey, you ready to go? 你准备好出发了吗Yeah, I guess. 大概吧What's the matter? 怎么啦Honestly? It's a little strange having dinner with your ex-boyfriend, 说实话跟你的前男友吃晚饭感觉有点怪and it's not like we have a lot to talk about. 又不是我们有很多话可以聊What? He loves you, okay? 干嘛他超喜欢你好吗And he's interested in your work. 他对你的工作很感兴趣You could talk about the infinite perspective... 你可以聊你的无限远景...I swear I know it. 我发誓我真知道叫什么It'll be fine, let's just go. 没事啦我们走吧Well, and his fiance will be there, so you know, 而且他的未婚妻也会在你懂吧if the conversation lags, we can talk about their wedding. 找不到话聊时就可以聊他们的婚礼Come on, I spent an entire plane ride 干嘛啦上次坐飞机with you talking about the trailer for Deadpool 2. 我听你聊了整路的《死侍2》预告片I knew you weren't asleep. 我就知道你在装睡Hey, guys. 两位好呀- Hi. - Hey, where's your fiance? -你好 -你的未婚妻呢Oh, she couldn't make it. She had an emergency. 她来不了她有急事Oh, no, what happened? 不会吧发生什么事了I didn't ask. 我没问What smells so good? 什么东西那么香Raj is teaching me to make croissants. 拉杰在教我做牛角包Is this part of your super-aging? 这是你保持大脑青春永驻的方式之一吗Yes. Yeah, it seemed daunting at first, 没错一开始我觉得会很难but then I realized, 但之后发现it's like the chemistry set I had as a kid. 这跟我小时候家里的化学实验装置一样Only, when your brother eats this, 区别在于当你哥哥吃掉这个后no one has to call Poison Control. 没人需要打电话给中毒控制中心Okay. 好了Shall we? 尝尝吧Oh, my God. 天啊It's light, it's flaky, it's buttery. 既脆又酥充满牛油香味You don't need to have sex with him, just eat one of these. 你不用跟他滚床单吃个牛角包就能高潮了Yes, it is delicious. 是啊确实很好吃Wha... Physicist, baker, lover, 不过物理学家面包师爱人what can't I do? 世间哪有我做不到的事啊Well, clearly mental tasks are not enough. 显然只做脑力劳动还不够Maybe you need to challenge your motor skills. 也许你还得挑战一下运动技能For the last time, I am not having a tickle fight with you. 我再说最后一遍我不会跟你来挠痒痒大战You want a real challenge, 你想来个真正的挑战吗try keeping me from eating more of these. 试试阻止我继续吃牛角包啊You're just using food to mask the fear 你只是在利用食物掩饰内心that you're fundamentally unlovable 觉得自己不会有人爱and therefore going to be alone forever. 注定孤独终老的恐惧Damn it, he's good at that, too. 我靠他连这个也那么强Thanks. 谢谢Wow, working on a top secret government project, 为政府研发最高机密的项目that is so cool. 那真是太酷了Do you have a bodyguard to keep spies away? 你有保镖帮你吓跑间谍吗I have Sheldon, that keeps most people away. 我有谢尔顿他能吓跑大部分人I miss that guy. 我想念那个小哥He's like the Swedish Chef Muppet. 他就像《大青蛙布偶秀》的瑞典厨师I don't know what he's saying, but he's funny. 我听不懂他都在说些什么但他很搞笑Oh, I know what he's saying, and he's not, he's not funny. 我倒是知道他在说些什么他绝对不搞笑So, Penny, what's going on with you? 佩妮你最近怎么样How's the job? 工作还顺利吗Uh, it's okay, I'm still in pharmaceutical sales. 还不错我还在做医药销售She's doing amazing. 她可棒了She can actually make a side effect, 她能把有10%可能性like 10% chance of liver failure, 会出现肝功能衰竭的副作用sound like a 90% chance of liver success. 说成有90%可能性能令肝脏恢复正常Yeah, lying isn't my favorite part of the job. 说谎不是我这份工作值得骄傲的方面Actually, I'm not crazy about a lot of it. 事实上很多方面我都不满意Hey, if you're not happy there, I've been looking 如果你不喜欢那份工作for a new head of sales at my company. 我公司正想请个新的销售主管And we don't sell drugs, just menus, 我们不卖药只卖菜单so the only lie you'll be telling 所以你唯一要说的谎是is we print on recycled paper. 我们用再生纸印菜单We don't. 其实不是Oh, that's a nice offer. 这工作邀请不错You know, we'd make a great team. 我们一定会合作无间Or as we say in the menu business, 或者用我们菜单界的话来说I can't do this without "Me N U." "你我做菜永不孤单"Right, 'cause it spells "Menu." 懂了因为结尾就是"菜单"Yeah, right? It's funny. I got a lot of menu jokes, 多幽默啊我有很多关于菜单的笑话but that's my favorite. 但我最喜欢这个All right, this is everything. 好啦道具都在这儿了What do you want to learn? 你想要学哪样It really doesn't matter, as long as it's challenging. 其实都无所谓只要能挑战自我就行了Okay, well, how about, oh, I teach you 好吧不如我教你几招some close-up... magic. 近景魔术Howard, I'm trying to make myself uncomfortable, 霍华德我是想让自己难受not everyone else. 不是想祸害其他人So you wanted to learn something physical 你想学点考验体能的and you came to Howard Wolowitz? 却来找霍华德·沃罗威茨吗Hey, the circus arts are very physically and mentally demanding.马戏艺术对于体能和心理素质都有很高的要求Have you ever tried to juggle? 你试过玩抛接球吗Yes, I'm juggling my love for you 试过我现在就在挣扎and my embarrassment of you right now. 该"抛"弃对你的爱还是"接"住对你的嫌弃And it's hard, isn't it? 挺难的不是吗So the key is, 关键技巧在于the moment one ball is at the top of its arc, 当一个球升到最高点时you toss the next one. 你再抛出下一个Okay, I think I got that. 好我应该学会了Uh, h-hold on. 且慢There's a, an old saying in juggling. 抛接球界有句老话Is it "I'm going to die alone"? 是"我注定孤独终老"吗No, it's "If you want to have fun, start with one." 非也是"万丈高楼平地起欢喜抛接一颗起" Yours we think, but we do not say. 你那句我们心里明白但不会说出来All right, just toss it up and catch it a few times, 好了你先抛接几次get comfortable with it. 熟悉一下感觉Okay. 好的Just to be on the safe side, 出于安全考量问一下am I in any danger of getting juggler's elbow? 我会不会得"抛接肘"这类的运动伤害No. 不会Are you sure? 'Cause I'm feeling a twinge. 你确定吗我开始感觉到刺痛了See, that wasn't so bad. 你看刚才不算太糟吧He even picked up the check. 他还付了饭钱呢Yeah. 是啊Although, when he was trying to figure out the tip, 不过他计算小费该给多少时I'm pretty sure I saw smoke coming out of his ears. 我看到他算到耳朵都冒烟了You're not really considering working for him, are you? 你不是真的考虑去他公司上班吧Well, maybe, I mean, it seems kind of perfect. 有可能啊那职位挺适合的I have sales experience, 我有销售经验and I've been a waitress, so I have restaurant experience, 还当过服务员所以也有餐厅相关经验and if he's figuring out my Christmas bonus, 而且如果是由他来计算我的圣诞奖金we could buy a boat. 说不定我们能买艘船呢Don't you think it might be a little weird 你不觉得为前任打工to work for someone you used to date? 有点怪吗You work with Sheldon, you tell me. 你和谢尔顿共事你说呢Yeah, it's weird. 是的超级怪Okay, are you seriously jealous of me working with Zack? 我和扎克一起工作你真的会吃醋吗No, no, I-I'm not jealous, I just think 我才不是吃醋呢我只是觉得you have got a good thing going where you are right now, 你现在明明干得不错and you make great money 收入也很不错and you haven't slept with any of your coworkers. 也没和同事睡成一片Great, so you want me to stay at a job I'm not happy at? 那你是宁愿我做一份不开心的工作了You okay? 你没事吧You kind of look like Zack trying to figure out that tip. 你的表情就和扎克算不出小费时一样Of course I don't want you to be unhappy, 我当然不希望你工作不开心but I also want you to be smart, 但我更希望你更明智一点and working for an ex-boyfriend isn't very smart. 为前男友打工显然不是明智之举You don't have to stop, just slow down, I'll jump out. 你不用停慢慢减速我自己跳车Amy, look, I'm on a unicycle! 艾米快看我在骑独轮车How did you get from croissants to a unicycle? 你是怎么从牛角包跳到独轮车上的I hurt myself juggling. 我抛接球时伤到自己了Where did you get it? 你从哪里找来这玩意的Howard said I could borrow it, 霍华德说可以暂时借给我Bernadette said forever. 博纳黛特让我永远别还了Have you tried letting go of the rope? 你试过不靠绳子自己骑吗What, are you crazy? I'm on a unicycle. 你疯了吗我骑的可是独轮车All right, well, have fun. 好吧那你慢慢玩Wait, I need help getting down. 等等我需要有人帮我下来Well, what do you want me to do? 你想要我怎么做Drag out our mattress and put it over here, 先把我们的床垫拖出来放在这里then go across the hall, get their mattress 然后去走廊对面把他们的床垫拖过来and put it over here. 放在上面But before you do any of that, 但在做这些事之前scratch my nose. 快帮我挠一下鼻子So you told her she was being dumb? 所以你说了她很蠢No, I told her she was being not smart. 不我说她做的不是明智之举Which was dumb. 这太蠢了Why did you even go to dinner with the guy? 你为什么要和他一起吃晚饭呢We covered this, I'm dumb. 我们才刚说过啊我蠢呗So he's my ex-boyfriend, who cares? 就算他是我的前男友又如何呢I can't believe Leonard would be so insecure. 真不敢相信莱纳德如此缺乏安全感Really? 真的吗I have no trouble believing that at all. 我觉得这事非常好理解呀And Zack's engaged. 扎克都已经订婚了Leonard has no reason to feel threatened. 莱纳德根本没理由担心We're talking about the same Leonard, right? 我俩说的是同一个莱纳德吧So you think it's fine if she works for Zack? 你觉得她为扎克工作没问题吗I don't know, maybe. 我不知道也许吧Well, he is much more attractive than Leonard. 他的确是比莱纳德好看多了Yes, 没错but that's gonna be true of a lot of guys she works for. 但她的历任老板中这样的人也不少Yeah, but she also used to sleep with Zack. 可她以前还跟扎克一起睡过Again... 就像我刚才说的...I would never let Howard work with an ex. 我就不会让霍华德和他的前任一起工作What, you wouldn't trust him? 什么你不相信他吗I wouldn't trust her. 我是不相信他的前任He's thin and sexy like a Jewish greyhound. 我家华仔可是一条苗条性感的犹太小灰狗Yeah, that-that is the sexiest dog. 是是是那还真是最性感的一种狗呢And I'd like to think Howie wouldn't take a job 我想华仔也不会接受I was uncomfortable with. 会让我不爽的工作- 'Cause he's scared of you? - Terrified. -因为他很怕你吗 -怕得要死Yeah. 没错You know what? I'm with Leonard, this isn't cool. 我支持莱纳德这样是不对的Thank you. 谢谢I disagree. 我不同意Penny is a strong, independent woman. 佩妮是一个独立而坚强的新女性The more you try to control her, the more she'll push back. 你越想掌控她她反抗越强烈So you think it's okay? 所以你觉得没问题吗Oh, no, she's gonna leave you for someone, 不她命中注定要抛弃你might as well get it over with. 还不如早死早超生What are you doing? 你在干什么呀I'm returning this stuff to Howard. 我准备把这些东西都还给霍华德Well, Bernadette made me promise if you didn't want it, 博纳黛特要我保证如果你不想玩了we'd give it to a homeless clown. 就把它送给流浪的小丑What happened to learning the unicycle? 你怎么不继续学独轮车了Oh, I stopped that, it was dumb. 我不想学了太蠢了Uni, bi, tri, menstrual, 独轮两轮三轮月经周期[轮]all cycles are dumb. 带轮的东西都很蠢You said juggling was dumb, too. 你还说抛接球也很蠢呢Well, it is. 的确蠢啊If I wanted to hold three things at once, 我想一次性拿住3个东西I'd wear cargo pants. 穿条多口袋裤子就好啦Sheldon, is it possible that 谢尔顿有没有这种可能when things get really difficult, 每当事情变困难时you just give up? 你就放弃了Are you calling me a quitter? 你在说我是半途而废的人吗Well, if you honestly... 如果你凭良心...This conversation is over. 对话到底为止His mother warned me. 他的妈妈警告过我Everybody warned me. 每个人都警告过我Actually, he warned me. 说起来他自己都警告过我You want to talk? 你想聊聊吗That doesn't seem to be where I shine. 这貌似不是我的强项How about I just give you one of these? 不如让我给你点个赞吧Look, we can have a reasonable conversation 我们可以坐下来理性地谈一谈and I won't get mad. 我保证不生气I don't like it after sex, and I don't like it now. 我在爱爱后不喜欢这手势现在也不喜欢- Yeah, sorry. - Yeah. -好吧抱歉 -好All right, just come here. 过来吧Look, I get me working with Zack is weird 我知道和扎克一起工作很奇怪and I don't want you to be uncomfortable. 我也不希望你心里不爽Well, thanks. 谢谢And I don't want you to be stuck at a job you don't like. 我也不想让你干不喜欢的工作Then what do we do? 那我们怎么办呢Well, I don't love it, but if you really want to take this job, 虽然我不高兴但如果你真的想要这份工作I'll find a way to deal with it. 我会试着接受这件事No, I know you'll try, but it'll make you miserable, 我知道你会试但这会让你很郁闷which will make me miserable, and... 然后我也会很郁闷所以...I'm just gonna stay where I'm at for now. 我还是不要换工作了No, no, no, no, you're-you're unhappy there 不不不你做得不开心and then you're gonna blame me for making you stay, 反而会怪是我让你留下的and it's fine, I'll just-- I'll suck it up. 别管我我忍就是了You don't need to do that, it's okay. 你真的不用这么做没关系Yeah, see, now I feel terrible, 现在我不好受了like I'm being selfish and holding you back. 好像我太自私拖了你的后腿What? Say something. 怎么了说话啊Yeah, that is pretty annoying. 这手势的确挺让人不爽的I made you tea. 我给你泡了茶Thank you. 谢谢I'm sorry I called you a quitter. 抱歉我说你半途而废It's okay, I stopped being upset about that. 没事我已经不生气了And no, the irony is not lost on me. 对我知道我没坚持生气挺能证明你的观点What are you reading? 你在看什么This article says the peak age for making 这文章说诺贝尔获奖者a Nobel Prize-winning discovery is 40. 取得大发现的巅峰年纪是40岁So? 那又怎样So I'm running out of time. 我没多少时间了That's ridiculous, you're a brilliant man. 太荒唐了你是个超级有才气的人The best years of your life are still ahead of you. 你人生的大好年华还在眼前Oh, you have to say that, you're sweet on me. 你必须这么说你爱我Well, if you're really worried about your career, 如果你真的为事业担心maybe you should consider spending a little less time 也许你应该考虑少花些时间with video games and comic books. 在电玩和漫画书上I thought you were sweet on me. 你不是爱我的吗Okay, fine, let's say you never win a Nobel Prize. 好吧假设你这辈子没有赢得诺贝尔奖Let's say you spend your life doing solid scientific research假设你这辈子一直在做踏实的科学研究surrounded by friends and loved ones 你身边全是朋友和爱你的人who appreciate you, 他们欣赏你not for what you've accomplished 不是因为你的成就but for who you are as a man. 而是因为你这个人Wouldn't that be a life well-lived? 不也不枉此生了吗You're so cute. 你真可爱I'm gonna go learn how to walk on stilts. 我要去学踩高跷So many warnings. 那么多警告全当耳边风Okay, are you sure about this? 你确定吗Absolutely. I just want you to be happy. 当然确定我只希望你开心And maybe a little turned on about how selfless I'm being. 最好我的无私能令你有点小性奋Penny, what's up? 佩妮什么事Hey, uh, so I've been thinking about it 我考虑过了and I want to take the job. 我想接受这份工作Oh, bad news. 坏消息When my fiance found out that I was offering a job 我未婚妻发现我给前女友to my ex-girlfriend, she said it was a stupid idea 提供工作她说这样做很蠢and threw a shoe at me. 还扔鞋子砸我Oh, so there's no job? 那么没工作吗Nope, just a little bump on my forehead. 没唯一有的是我额头上的包Okay, thanks anyway. 好吧还是谢谢了Bye. 拜Well, his fiance thought 他未婚妻觉得the idea of us working together was stupid. 一起工作是件愚蠢的事You were right, I was wrong. 你是对的我错了Aren't you gonna say anything? 你不打算说什么吗Not if I want to be doing this later. 无需多言我只想做这个手势Hey, I didn't know you were home. 我不知道你在家Where you been? 你去哪里了I went to see your mom. 我去见你妈妈了Seriously, where were you? 说真的你去了哪里I just told you, your mom's. 我刚说了你妈妈家Why? 为什么Well, since you find my magic tricks so embarrassing, 因为你极度鄙视我的魔术I got to wondering 我想知道what cool hobbies you had as a kid. 你小时候有什么酷爱好What'd she say? 她说了什么She didn't say much of anything. 你妈没说什么But she said a lot! 但她说了很多Hi, Bernadette, remember me? 伯纳黛特还记得我吗First of all, that's not what she sounds like, 首先她不是这样说话的she's from South Carolina. 人家来自南卡罗来纳州I can't believe you made fun of me all these years 真不敢相信你嘲笑了我这么多年while you were a closeted ventriloquist. 你自己却是个深柜腹语者Okay, it's not like I wanted to be a ventriloquist. 不是我自愿想成为腹语者I was in beauty pageants and I needed a talent 我当时参加选美我需要一项才艺besides spreading rumors 不能光靠散播谣言that the other contestants were pregnant. 说其他参赛者怀孕了Well, since you enjoyed 既然你很享受getting rid of all my stuff, you know, 扔掉我的东西maybe we should throw this little lady in the wood chipper.也许我们应该把这位小姑娘扔进碎木机No! 不And the little lady has a name. 这位小姑娘有名字的Which is? 叫什么Tammy Jo St. Cloud. 黛咪·乔·圣·克劳"Tammy Jo St. Cloud." "黛咪·乔·圣·克劳"Oh, and I'm a dork for juggling. 而我玩抛接球就被笑是死宅Sorry, you're not a dork. 对不起你不是死宅男You're a clown. 你是小丑Tammy Jo, don't say that, 黛咪·乔别这样说you'll make him feel bad. 他会感到难受的Look at him, 看他what reason he got to feel good? 他凭什么自我感觉良好All right, very funny. 好了非常好笑Don't listen to her, 别听她的she's been in a box for, like, 25 years. 她被关在盒子里25年了Yeah, back when his haircut was fashionable. 对我被关之前他的发型还很流行呢That's enough, put her away. 够了把她拿开Oh, big daddy, 老爹爹I don't think so. 你想得美You marry Miss Bernie, you marry me. 你娶了妮妮小姐就是娶了我We all family now. 我们现在是一家人了All right, you're freaking me out. 好了你吓着我了Don't be that way. 别这样If you don't mind a few splinters, 只要你不介意少许的木片毛刺we can have us a menage a trois. 咱们就一妻一妾这样过吧I'm doing it. 我成功了I'm doing it. 我成功了I'm tall and I'm doing it! 我好高我成功了Ah, man. 真扫兴。

That is unbelievable. 真是太棒了Good for Bert. 恭喜伯特Damn, the MacArthur Genius Grant. 靠麦克阿瑟奖啊50万奖金颁发给在各领域内具有非凡创造性的杰出人士俗称天才奖为纪念约翰·D·麦克阿瑟而命名Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. 没人比他更值得获得这个奖了Everything is stupid and I want to go home. 一切都蠢爆了人家要回家了That's Sheldon's way of saying 这是谢尔顿版本的he's proud of Bert, too. 他也为伯特感到骄傲Hey, it's not even called the "Genius Grant," 而且这奖都不叫做"天才奖"it's the MacArthur Fellowship. 正确名称叫"麦克阿瑟奖学金"Just like it's not Frankenstein, 就像不是《弗兰肯斯坦》以为是那怪人的名字其实那个科学家的名字又称《科学怪人》弗兰肯斯坦常被人误会it's "Frankenstein's Monster." 而是《弗兰肯斯坦的怪物》一样Which brings us back to that hulking simpleton over there.这又让我们联想到后面这位庞大巨怪And if anyone's a genius, 要说谁是天才it's me for the way I brought that full circle. 那也是能联想出刚才那一串的我How much money did he win? 他赢了多少奖金呢Over half a million dollars. 超过50万美元And he doesn't have to use it for research, 而且这个奖金没规定得用在研究上he can do whatever he wants with it. 他可以任意支配Oh, good, maybe he can build a nicer bridge to live under. 他家住天桥底现在可以盖一座更好的桥住了- Here he comes. - Right. -他过来啦 -是啊Be polite. 保持礼貌I know how to behave. 我知道怎么表现好吗Do you? 是吗Hey, congratulations Bert! 恭喜你啊伯特- Yeah, good for you. - That's amazing. -恭喜你 -太厉害了Thanks. 谢谢I was as surprised as anybody. 我也跟所有人一样惊讶啊When they called and told me I won, 他们打来通知我得奖了I didn't believe them. 我都不相信是真的And then they said, "No, you really won." 然后他们说"你真的赢了"And then I said, "Cool." 我就说"酷啊"Someone call George R. R. Martin, 谁快打给《冰与火之歌》的拖搞作者this guy knows how to finish a story. 这家伙可知道怎么给故事收尾了I've gotten pretty good at telling it. 我已经越来越会说这故事了Well, see ya. 好啦再见Some genius. 还天才呢I zinged him with sarcasm, he didn't even notice. 我讽刺了他一番他都没听出来I know, 对啊and it was the greatest sarcastic quip I've ever heard.你讽刺他的金句可是我这辈子听过最毒的呢Well, aren't you a peach. 你这小嘴抹了蜜了Who leaves their bike in the hallway? 谁会把自行车随便放在走廊啊You know, if I knew how to ride one, 我要是会骑自行车I'd steal it. 我肯定就偷了Ignore him, 别理他he's just cranky because Bert from the geology lab 他耍脾气是因为地质学的伯特won a big grant. 赢了笔大奖学金Oh, I heard him interviewed on the radio! 我有在广播上听到他的采访You know, when they told him he won, 就是颁奖单位通知他获奖时he didn't believe it, but then he did believe it. 他本来不相信然后他又相信了It was so funny. 真是笑死我了Who listens to the radio anymore? 这年头谁还听广播啊Bert is studying the way microbes in rocks 伯特在研究岩石中的微生物can survive in extreme environmental conditions. 在极端环境下是如何生存的They say it could be a potential indicator 有人认为这可能成为of life on other planets. 其他星球上有无生命的指标You know what, I've met Bert. 我见过伯特这人Isn't he an indicator of life on other planets? 他的存在不就指出了其他星球上有生物吗You used to make those jokes about me. 你以前开这种玩笑都是吐槽我的Now everything is Bert, Bert, Bert! 现在什么事都是伯特这个伯特那个You know, Sheldon, maybe if you take the time 谢尔顿或许如果你花时间to actually read Bert's research, 真去读读人家的研究成果you'd be less bitter about him winning. 或许你就不会对人家赢奖这么郁闷You want me to read a geology paper? 你是要我去读地质学论文啊Honestly, I just want you to be quiet 说实话我是想你闭嘴but I'm all out of taffy. 可是我身上没糖果了You busy? 你在忙吗There's somebody out here who wants to meet you. 这边有个人想进来见见你Who is it? 谁啊Say hello to everybody's little friend-- 跟大家的小号朋友打声招呼remote control Stephen Hawking! 遥控史蒂芬·霍金教授Where did you get that? 你从哪搞来的啊I found him in an old box. 在一个旧物箱里发现的Why would you buy it? 你为啥要买这玩意I didn't buy it. 我没买I made it. 是我做的Last question. 最后一个问题What is wrong with you? 你脑子是有什么毛病啊What's the big deal? 这有什么大不了啊Howie, it's in poor taste. 华仔这是低级趣味No, it's not. Check it out. 才没有你看好了He says fun stuff. 他会说很好笑的句子Hey good lookin', 你好啊美女want to go for a spin? 想跟我去兜几圈吗His eyes also light up in the dark. 他的双眼在黑暗中会亮哦It's always fun watching him read someone else's work. 看他读别人的研究成果总是很好玩It's like scrolling through the emojis on my phone. 感觉就像在翻阅我手机上的表情包Ye-- why? 为为啥Eh, why?! 为啥啊Oh, that's why. 原来如此Sounds like the night we had coitus. 听起来像我们交媾的那晚I hope you're happy making me read this. 让我读这东西的人你们这下高兴了吧Bert's work is remarkable. 伯特的成果非凡And I'm more upset than ever. 我现在更不高兴了This is worse than when I had to admit that 承认这点比有一次我得承认Cedric the Entertainer's actually entertaining. 搞笑艺人塞德里克真的很搞笑还不爽Cedric the Entertainer's actually entertaining. 黑人演员常在一些喜剧电影或电视中客串/配音Sheldon, it's foolish to be angry that Bert's work has merit. 谢尔顿因为伯特的成果很棒而生气太傻了Yeah, well I-I am angry! 我是生气And you telling me not to be angry 而你叫我别生气makes me angry! 让我更生气And do you know how hearing myself 你知道一遍又一遍say the word angry over and over makes me feel? 听自己说"生气"这个词让我作何感想吗- Ooh, a-angry? - What are you doing? -生气吗 -干嘛多嘴I-I-I knew the answer. I got excited. 人家知道答案得意忘形了嘛Hey, buddy, why don't we go for a walk, 伙计要不我们出去散散步so you can calm down. 好让你冷静一下That's a good idea. 这个主意好I guess everyone's having them now. 看来现在所有人都能有好主意了Hey, I'm trying to help you. 我是想帮你好吗Fine. 好吧You can walk ahead of me and scare off the pigeons. 你可以走在我前面帮我吓走鸽子Just wave your arms a little and they fly away, it's not... 就挥挥你的稻草人手鸽子自然会飞走Okay, Raj, 拉杰I'm gonna show you something. 我要给你看样东西Now, one of us thinks it's offensive. 我们俩有一人觉得这玩意冒犯人The other thinks it's hilarious 另一人觉得这玩意很好笑and a great idea. 而且创意十足But, I'm not going to tell you 但是我不会告诉你who likes it. 我们俩谁喜欢它This is tough. 这问题太难了But I'm going to say 但我要说it's the guy who shows me YouTube videos 喜欢它的人肯定是给我看网上of people getting hit in the nuts. 人们蛋蛋被各种打到视频的那家伙You're crazy. 你净瞎说I've worked with Hawking. 我跟霍金共事过He's got a great sense of humor. 他非常有幽默感And I think he'd like it. 我觉得他会喜欢这玩意Okay, call him and show him. 好啊那打给他视频给他看I dare you. 我谅你不敢I have no problem calling him. 打给他当然没问题啊Fine, then do it. 好啊那就打吧Fine, I will. 行我打While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist, 当你在烦世界上最有名的科学家时be sure to show him how funny he looks 记得一定要给他看看他被卡在getting stuck under our dishwasher. 我们洗碗机下的样子有多可笑What's this button do? 这个按钮是做什么的Gentlemen, start your wheelchairs. 先生们启动轮椅"Gentlemen. Start Your Engines!" 经典赛车开场白原句为You laughed when that guy got hit in the nuts. 你也在别人蛋蛋被打到时嘲笑人家啊I laughed because the guy was Leonard. 我笑是因为那个被打到的人是莱纳德I admire you, Leonard. 我很佩服你莱纳德Really, why? 是吗为什么You're happy with who you are. 你对自己的状态感到满意You don't get jealous of other people. 你不会去羡慕嫉妒其他人Instead of being weighed down by ambition, 你没有雄心壮志也不会被其拖累you just float along like a dead body in a river. 你只是一具飘浮在河上的死尸随波逐流I couldn't just take the compliment. 我为啥就不能接受夸赞就好I had to ask why. 还得嘴贱问原因You know, I do understand what you're feeling. 我真的理解你现在的感受My brother and sister's accomplishments 我哥哥和姐姐的成就have always been held over my head. 一直让我抬不起头How did you deal with it? 那你是怎么处理的I wet the bed until college, 我直到上大学才不尿床but I don't think that's a quality fix. 但我觉得这不算是个好的解决方法I can't believe I was surpassed by a geologist. 我无法相信自己被一个地质学家超越了I mean... 我是说rocks! 石头啊He studies rocks! 他研究的是石头If rock is so great, how come paper beats it? 石头要真有这么棒为啥剪刀石头布会输给布Leonard, I'm having a primal urge to throw this rock. 莱纳德我有一股冲动想把这石头扔出去Do it. 扔吧Visualize it as your anger 把它想象成你的气愤a-and-and toss it out of your life. 然后用力将它扔出你的人生Perhaps I will. 或许我真会扔This rock 这块石头encapsulates all my negative emotions. 封装了我所有的负面情绪I will cast you far away. 我会将你抛得远远的Feel free to take out a pigeon while you're at it. 你被抛出天际时可以顺便砸死只鸽子Let it fly. 让它飞出天际吧What happened? 怎么回事I tried to let go of anger 我试图释放我的气愤and threw a rock into my foot! 结果扔石头砸到我的脚了Then he got more angry and kicked the rock 然后他更生气用另一只脚- with his other foot. - Wha--? -去踹那块石头 -搞毛啊And what happened to you? 你又是怎么回事Oh, I laughed so hard, 我狂笑不止I burst a blood vessel in my nose. It's fine. 鼻子的血管都笑破了一根没事啦You know, it's one thing to be envious, 嫉妒别人就算了but now you're injuring yourself. 可你现在还自残It has to stop. 这事必须得打住Although if you are gonna do it again, 不过如果你要再自残please let me know, so I can get it on video. 麻烦一定要告诉我我好拍下来You know, Sheldon, 谢尔顿instead of fixating on what Bert has, 别老关注伯特拥有什么you should appreciate all of the good things in your life. 你应该感恩自己人生拥有的美好事物Y-You've got love, 你拥有爱you're in good health, 你拥有健康的身体you've got a roof over your head. 你还拥有一个栖身之所Yeah, but you've got all those things, 是啊但这些你也有and no one's lining up to be you. 也没人争着排队想成为你啊Anybody else want to try? 谁想来试试I'm gonna go make some more tea 我再去泡点茶and question my life choices. 顺便质疑下我的人生选择You're up. 你去吧This is getting old fast, Dolores, knock it off! 谢小妹妹老娘快没耐心了别再唧唧歪歪Uh, do you really think calling me names is helpful? 你真的觉得这么乱叫我有用吗I do! 有啊Your life is fine, you big baby! 你的人生很好了你个老屁孩Maybe you're right. 或许你说得对Really?! 不是吧If it helps, 不知能否安慰到你I'm questioning your life choices, too. 但我也在质疑你的人生选择了Thank you, Penny. 谢谢佩妮You know, I just need to keep reminding myself 我就是需要提醒我自己that Bert's success is not my failure. 伯特的成功并不代表我的失败There you go. 这就对啦And that men of his large stature 而且像他这样巨型的身材are more susceptible to a wide array of life-threatening diseases.也更容易感染上各种各样的致命病症There you go... 这就...对啦...What's up? 什么事I'm conducting a quick survey. 我在做一个快速调查Do you think this respectful 你觉得这个向伟人致敬的and loving tribute to a great man 集可敬与可爱为一体的小玩意is in poor taste? 是低级趣味吗Yep. 没错Do you think this is in poor taste? 你觉得这个算低级趣味吗Does it spin around and do tricks? 这玩意可以打转或耍把戏吗Yeah! 都可以Then yeah. 那就是低级趣味What do you think? 你怎么看That is hilarious! 太好玩了Give me the remote control. 把遥控器给我I want to drive him into the girls' restroom. 我要把他开到女厕所去All right, we're done. It's offensive. 结论已出这不是个好玩意Top of the afternoon, gentlemen. 下午好各位You're in a good mood. 你心情不错啊Well, it's a new day. I have a new outlook. 新的一天已降临我有了新的世界观You know, I realized 我发现I don't need to worry about other people. 我不用关心别人的事I just need to think more about myself. 我只需要多把心思花在自己身上Oh, how will we ever get used to the new you? 天我们要如何习惯全新的你Well, I'm glad to see you moving forward. 我很高兴你能放下并向未来前进Bert did quality research. 伯特的研究做得不错And he deserves whatever accolades he receives. 他受到表彰也是理所当然的What is going on? 怎么回事Did you upgrade his software last night? 你昨晚升级了他这机器人的软件吗I think he might be learning on his own. 他这是开启了自主学习模式Then the robot uprising has begun. 看来机器人大叛乱指日可待Excuse me, I need to pay Bert 抱歉我要去向伯特a proper congratulations. 表达我的祝贺a proper congratulations. 《星际大战》中的金色机器人He doesn't just look like C-3PO, 他不光长得像C-3POnow he walks like him. 现在连走路都一模一样了Bert? 伯特I wanted to let you know that I read your research, 我想让你知道我读了你的论文and your award is well-deserved. 你拿奖实至名归Thanks. 谢谢I've been hearing that a lot. 最近我听了好多类似的话Ever since I won, people think I'm great. 自从我得奖大家都夸我棒棒哒Well, just this once, 好吧仅此一次you can count me as people, too. 你可以把我和大家混为一谈You know, as a MacArthur Grant winner, 作为麦克阿瑟奖学金获得者I'm allowed to nominate someone for next year. 我可以提名下一届的候选人Really? 真的吗I didn't know that. 我还不知道这件事呢So I was thinking, you know, 我想了一下engineers don't get a lot of respect. 工程师好像一直不受重视Is your friend Howard working on anything cool? 你朋友霍华德有在研究什么有趣的东西吗You know, I-I'm not sure. 我我不确定You know, you'd have to ask him. 你应该去问他Excuse me. 失陪一下Leonard! I hurt myself again. 莱纳德我又伤了自己Excuse me, I-I have to go take some pictures. 不好意思我得去拍点照片了I can't believe you head-butted a water fountain. 真不敢相信你居然用头去撞饮水器No, I went to punch the water fountain, 不我本打算一拳砸在饮水器上slipped in water in front of the water fountain, 结果踩到饮水器前一滩水滑倒and hit my head on the water fountain. 才一头撞上饮水器I can't imagine you being violent. 我真想象不出你暴力的样子I can't imagine you being violent. 美国50年代搞笑组合It's not hard. Just picture the Three Stooges, 也没那么难了想象一下"三个臭皮匠"的表演and then take away two stooges. 然后去掉两个臭皮匠I'm so disappointed in myself. 我对自己太失望了Jealousy is completely illogical. 嫉妒真是毫无逻辑可言It's a human emotion, Sheldon. 这是人类的正常感情谢尔顿Everyone gets jealous. 每个人都会嫉妒I'm jealous of Leonard and Penny 我就很嫉妒莱纳德和佩妮and Howard and Bernadette 霍华德和伯纳黛特之间for being in such happy relationships. 相亲相爱的关系What about me and Sheldon? 不嫉妒我和谢尔顿吗Sure. 有啦有啦I've always been jealous of how much money 我一直都很嫉妒拉杰Raj's family has. 家底丰厚Thank you for saying that. Next to buying things, 谢谢夸奖家底丰厚的好处that is the best part about having money. 除了买买买就是炫炫炫Ever since I met Penny, 自从我认识了佩妮I've been envious of her looks. 我就一直嫉妒她的美貌Aw, thank you. 谢谢That's why I was so happy when you cut your hair off. 所以你剪短发时我才笑得合不拢嘴What?! 什么You know what I mean. 你懂我的意思You were still hot, but more like a 虽然你依然美丽但更像是"Why'd that hot girl cut off all her hair?" hot. "那位美女是疯了才剪短发吧"的那种美You liked my short hair, right? 你喜欢我的短发造型吧Yeah... I loved it. 是...我挺喜欢的Love you, love the hair, 爱你爱你的秀发would love to change the subject. 咱们换个话题吧Seriously, none of you liked it? 说真的你们都不喜欢吗I thought it was brave. 我觉得你很勇敢Does that count as liking it? 这算是喜欢吗You know, how come nobody's talking about 那怎么没人说起Howard's dopey haircut? 霍华德的傻逼发型呢I think he looks cute. 我觉得他挺可爱呀And I think you're cute. 我觉得你也很可爱I think you're both cute. 我觉得你俩都好可爱I think I hate all of you nerds. 我觉得我烦死你们这群书呆子了Sorry I'm moving slowly. 抱歉我走得太慢了Oh, I don't mind. 没事If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket, 要是你现在能从兜里掏出颗奶油硬糖it would be like I'm walking with my grandma. 那就真是和跟我奶奶散步一模一样了Oh, no. 不是吧2016麦克阿瑟奖获奖者伯特伦·凯布勒Did you... A plaque? 你看... 纪念牌Nobody wants to see this. 没人想看这玩意儿Well, change "Plaque" to "Mixed-race couple" 把"纪念牌"这词换成"跨种族伴侣" and you are my grandma. 你就是我奶奶无疑I can't take this anymore. 我再也受不了了Bert. Bert. Bert! 伯特伯特伯特Come in. 请进All right, let's do this... 好了我们上吧...Bert? 伯特We need to talk. 我们得谈谈What happened to you? 你这是怎么搞的Rock, rock, water fountain. 石头石头饮水器I am not proud of this. 这事说起来并不光彩But I have been envious of your recent success. 但我最近一直在嫉妒你的成功Wow, I won the MacArthur Grant, 我得了麦克阿瑟奖everyone's jealous of me. 大家都开始嫉妒我Once I get Lasik, I'll be out of things to wish for. 等我把视力激光矫正手术做了就别无所求了I was hoping by admitting my weakness to you, 我是希望通过向你坦白我的弱点I'd somehow be unburdened. 卸下我心中的重担- Is it working? - No. -轻松了吗 -没有Now that you know my weakness, 现在弱点被你知道了I hate you more than ever. 我对你的恨意更强烈了Well, you know, we're both pretty smart. 我们俩都很聪明I bet if we put our heads together, 要是我们能一起想we could come up with a solution. 说不定能想出个办法呢We... Hang on. 我们等等You're my enemy. 你是我的敌人Now, the enemy of the enemy is my friend. 敌人的敌人就是朋友And right now, I'm my own worst enemy. 现在我最大的敌人是我自己That makes you my fr-- 也就是说你是我朋...Okay, I'm good to go. 说吧我洗耳恭听Great. 太好了Now that we're friends, want to see if we can 既然我们是朋友了要不要试试get tickets to a taping of Ellen? 去搞两张《艾伦秀》的观众入场券You know what? This isn't gonna work. 拉倒吧这行不通的Sheldon... wait. 谢尔顿等等You know, you've got a lot to be happy about. 你可以高兴的事有很多You're at the top of your field, 在你的领域里你是最棒的you have a great girlfriend. 还有一个那么棒的女朋友Yes! That's right! 对啊想起来了I have Amy! 我有艾米In the past, you've professed feelings for her. 过去你曾经喜欢过她Does it eat you up inside 看着我拥有她而你却望而不得that I have her and you don't? 心里是不是苦死了It used to. 以前是But now that I'm rich and successful, 不过现在我已经名利双收了I think I can do better. 应该可以找个更好的I can't believe you punched Bert. 不敢相信你居然打了伯特一拳I didn't punch him. 我没有挥拳打他He turned around, and I gave him 是趁他转身我给他来了一招a Captain Kirk karate chop. 寇克船长的手刀I'm not even sure he knows I did it. 都不知道他有没有感觉到Hey, Sheldon, 谢尔顿I've got someone here who might make you feel better. 我找到了或许能安慰你的人Hello, Sheldon. 你好谢尔顿Professor Hawking! 霍金教授I understand 我理解你you're struggling with professional jealousy. 因为事业上的嫉妒心而挣扎的感受Thanks, Leonard, now he's not gonna think I'm cool. 谢你啊莱纳德现在害他觉得我不酷了Don't worry, I know how you feel. 别担心我懂你的感受I have never won a Nobel Prize. 我一次诺贝尔奖没得过Oh, wow, that doesn't seem fair. 感觉好不公平啊It's fine. 没关系I've been on The Simpsons. 我上过动画片《辛普森一家》How do you deal with the success of your colleagues? 你怎么面对同事们的成功呢I remind myself 我提醒我自己every scientific advancement is a victory. 每一次科学进步都是胜利Also, I was on Star Trek. 而且我还上过《星际迷航》Oh, it was a good one. He played poker with Sir Isaac... 那段可精彩了他和牛顿玩扑克You don't care. 你没兴趣Don't waste your time on jealousy, Sheldon, 不要把你的时间花在嫉妒上谢尔顿you're too brilliant. 对你的聪明才智是种浪费How can you feel bad 连史蒂芬·霍金都夸你聪明if Stephen Hawking says you're brilliant? 你怎么还能难过呢I can't. 不难过了Thank you, Professor Hawking. 谢谢你霍金教授You are a gift to mankind. 你就是人类之光There should be statues of you everywhere. 应该到处都有你的雕像You know, the Lincoln Memorial has a big chair. 林肯纪念堂里的林肯坐在椅子上呢We could swap you right in. 直接把你换上去吧I always thought a motorized toy of me would be cool. 要是有个我形象的电动玩具就好了What a wonderful idea! 多好的主意啊How does this man not have a Nobel? 怎么还不给这人颁诺贝尔奖- Do not tell Wolowitz. - Way ahead of you. -不要告诉沃洛威茨 -早想到了A new study came out, and it said that laughing 新的研究成果表示大笑由著名主持人兼喜剧演员艾伦主持深受观众喜爱的《艾伦秀》现场makes your brain work better. 能让你的大脑运转更灵活And I know that's true because laughing 这是真的因为我已经has made me the "Smartiest." 把自己笑成"最葱明"的人了Although, on the other hand, 不过话说回来babies laugh a lot, and they're dumb. 婴儿们也总笑他们怎么那么笨Do people know about her? 大家认识这人吗'Cause she's delightful. 她好讨人喜欢啊。

第一季2集: The Big Bran Hypothesis----(宅女假说)-Howard: But does it have peanut oil 但有花生油吧-Leonard: I'm not sure. 我不清楚。

Everyone keep an eye on Howard in case he starts to swell up. 你们每个人都盯着Howard，以防他突然肿胀。

-Sheldon:Since it's not bee season, you can have my epinephrine. 既然现在不是看<拼字大赛> ，你可以吃我的肾上腺素。

-Howard: Are there any chopsticks？ 有筷子吗-Sheldon: You don't need chopsticks. This is Thai food. 你不需要筷子，这是泰国菜。

-Leonard: Here we go. 又来啦。

-Sheldon:Thailand has had the fork since the latter half ofthe 19th Century.泰国自19世纪后半期起使用餐叉。

Interestingly, they don't actually put the fork in their mouth-- 有趣的是，他们不直接叉食物进嘴， They use it to put the food on a spoon which then goes into theirmouth.而是叉食物进汤匙，再送进嘴里。

-Leonard: Ask him for a napkin. I dare you. 你敢不敢找他要餐巾纸I'll get it. 我去开门。

-Howard: Do I look puffy I feel puffy. 我看起来肿吗? 我觉得有点鼓鼓的。

- Hey, have you ever heard of the Van Nuys Comic-Con? - Yeah. -你有听说过加州凡奈斯漫展吗 -有啊It's a dinky little convention where they sell collectibles 就是个破烂小展览卖卖收藏物and get sad D-list celebrities to appear. Why? 请一些不知名惨兮兮的小咖出场怎么了I got asked to sign autographs there. 我被邀请去办签名会That's awesome! 太屌啦Is this for Serial Ape-ist? 是因为《杀人恶猿》吗Well, it could be for the monkey movie. 可能是因为这部猴子电影It could be my hemorrhoid commercial. 也可能是因为我拍的痔疮广告The list does not go on. 反正可能性只有这俩- When is it? - It doesn't matter. -什么时候 -这不重要- I'm not doing it. - What? Why not? -我才不去 -为什么为啥不去You just said yourself, it's sad. 你刚才自己说了很惨啊Yeah, but it's not pathetic. 但没有到可悲啊That's where I draw the line. 我的底线就是不可悲则可行Come on! We'll have fun. 去嘛肯定有意思I don't know. 我也不知道了You'll have nerds fawning all over you. 会有各种宅男对你摇尾乞怜啊If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble. 如果你不喜欢这感觉那我们的婚姻要出大事了I guess it wouldn't hurt to meet some fans 好吧去见见粉丝and make a little extra money. 顺便赚点外快也不错Yeah. 对啊Wow! An appearance by George Lucas... 大导演乔治·卢卡斯......'s dermatologist. 的皮肤科医生也会来- Oh, I want that autograph. - Oh, yeah. -他的签名我也要了 -好好好You know, with us living together, 我们现在开始同居了maybe we could think about having people over. 是不是能考虑试试邀请客人来玩We have people over all the time. 我们整天有人来访啊We have the maintenance people, the pizza delivery man... 有维修工还有披萨外送员... ...that UPS driver who feels the need to ask 还有那个觉得有必要来关心how parts of me are hanging. 我最近有没有什么"鸟"事的快递员You know what I meant. 你知道我说的是什么意思All right, fine. 好吧行Let's say that we were to entertain people. 那就假设我们要宴请朋友What type of gathering did you have in mind? 你打算举办哪种聚会呢Huh? A meal? Lunch? 吃饭的话午餐会Brunch? Dinner? 早午餐会还是晚餐会呢Afternoon tea? A formal tea? Hmm? 下午茶的话是正式的吗Is it a party? 还是是个派对呢And if so, what kind of party? 如果是那请问是哪种派对A cocktail party? 是鸡尾酒派对A Tupperware party? 直销产品派对Ooh, yeah-- is it a surprise party? 对了是惊喜派对吗Oh, I hope it's not a West Coast party, 我希望不是《西海岸派对》啊'cause according to the man on the radio, 因为根据电台里这首歌的歌词a West Coast party don't stop. 西海岸派对永不停歇啊I'm sorry I mentioned it. 对不起我不应该提起这事Oh, don't be. You get your hopes up, 不用道歉你心中燃起希望之火I knock them down. That's called teamwork. 我一桶冷水把它浇熄这就叫合作无间That's a kick. 踢了That's an actual kick. 孩子真的踢了一下What are you doing? 你在干嘛I felt a kick. 我感觉到踢了一下There's a baby in there. 里面有一个宝宝呢Oh, yeah, that's where I put it. 对哦原来我把宝宝放这里了Oh, I mean, I know you're pregnant. 我的意思是我知道你怀孕了I just... 只是...never connected the idea of pregnancy 我从来没把怀孕and you actually having a baby. 跟你要生孩子这件事联想到一起Which MIT did you go to? 你去的是哪家麻省理工来着Oh, God, we are not ready to have an infant in this house! 天啊我们这房子还没准备好迎接宝宝啊We don't have a crib, we don't have diapers. 没有婴儿床也没有尿布We're not baby-proofed. 也还没弄婴儿保护措施Anyone can just walk in off the street and lift our toilet lids! 任何人都可以走进家里掀开没锁上的马桶盖Howie, we have time to do all that stuff. 华仔我们还有时间搞那些东西Do we? 真的有吗Look at you. 看看你Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room. 就像电影里被推去榨汁的小胖子一样圆The next person kicking you will be me. 下一个踢你的人会是老娘Good night. 晚安Are we even in a good school...? 我们这里是好的学区...I warned you, and I did it. 警告过你了我言出必行What's all this? 这是什么Oh, everything we need for your autograph session-- 你办签名会需要的一切东西- head shots, markers. - Okay. -大头照马克笔 -等等Leonard, it's sweet you're excited about this, 莱纳德你对这事很上心是好事but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph. 但哪怕是有一个人想要我的签名都能算奇迹Are you kidding? 你在开玩笑吧I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature. 我有一次花20块去讨西奥·杀死勒的签名呢- Who's that? Oh, I don't even know. -他是谁 -我也不认识I just liked his name. Theo Sassler! 我只是觉得他名字炫西奥·杀死勒Oh, and look at this. 你看这个I even got a change maker. 我还弄了一个换零钱机How much change you want, little lady? 你要换多少零钱小姑娘Oh, there's so much I want to change. 我想要换[掉]的东西多了Yeah, well, if it's a dollar, you're in luck. 如果是想要一块钱换硬币你就来得巧了What's going on here? 这是怎么一回事You expressed an interest in having people over, 你表示出了对邀请客人有兴趣and I feel I dismissed it too quickly. 我觉得我太快驳回你的提议了So, I took matters into my own hands, 所以我决定亲自着手此事and I arranged a brunch. 筹办了一场早午餐会Well, that's so nice. 这真是太好了Who's coming? 有谁会来Oh, uh, Stuart, Bert from the geology lab, 斯图尔特地质学实验室的伯特and Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs. 楼下的佩特雷斯库太太You mean the Romanian lady on the second floor? 你是说住二楼的罗马尼亚女士吗Yes. 是的Oh, fun story: 说来也好笑she grew up with ten siblings. 她从小是跟十个兄弟姐妹一起长大Or possibly penguins. Her English is atrocious. 或是跟企鹅一起长大她的英语太烂了That's an odd mix of people. 客人的组合好奇怪啊Well, for our first time hosting, 我们第一次邀请客人来家里I thought it would be wise to conduct a trial run. 我认为先做个试验是明智之举You know, like how I practiced for that Halloween haunted house就像当年我为了万圣节鬼屋练胆by going into the bathroom at the bus station. 于是我去了公车站的厕所You never went into that haunted house. 你后来压根没进那间鬼屋You never saw what jumped out at me at the bus station.那是因为你没看见我在公车站受到什么惊吓Well, thank you, Sheldon. 谢谢你谢尔顿This is a fun surprise. 这真是个有趣的惊喜Well, the real surprise is 真正的惊喜是how surprised you are that I'm great at surprises. 你知道我擅长给人惊喜后有多惊喜Well, that's not a surprise at all. 那根本不算惊喜I mean, if I knew you were good at surprises, 如果我本来就知道你擅长给人惊喜I would have expected the surprise, 那我就会预计到有这个惊喜and therefore not have been surprised. 然后就不会被你"惊喜到"But as it is, I didn't know, 可事实上是我之前不知道and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising. 所以我"惊喜"的样子你根本不该觉得惊喜Don't get me all randy. Guests are on the way. 不许用言语挑逗人家客人随时会到Hi. 回来啦Hey, where you been? 你们去哪儿了Oh, we went and did a little shopping for the baby. 我们去给宝宝买了点东西Wait till you see the crib we found. 你等着瞧我们选的婴儿床吧You bought a crib without me? 你买婴儿床不用问过我吗- You're gonna love it. - Yeah. -你肯定会喜欢的 -对啊It's the highest rated one on the market. 它是市场上评价最好的一款I wouldn't even call it a crib. 要我就不会说那是婴儿床I'd call it a Fortress of Solitude for babies. 我会称其为"宝宝的孤独城堡"Sounds expensive. 听起来就是贵货啊Okay, well, I may have gone a bit overboard, 好吧我可能有点太舍得了but you can't put a price on safety. 可安全是无价之宝啊Though if you did, it's more zeroes than you're expecting. 但如果非要给个价那会比你想象中多很多个0But it's the safest crib you can buy. 但那是市面上最安全的婴儿床And if you don't like it, we can return it. 而且如果你不喜欢我们可以退掉啊- Fine. - In our new minivan. -好吧 -它在我们的新面包车里呢Hey, what's for lunch? 中午吃什么呀You bought a minivan?! 你还买了一辆面包车吗It's for the baby, and I didn't buy it. 那是为了宝宝啊而且我又没买The dealer loaned it to me for a 24-hour test drive. 卖车那人借给我试开一天Though we did ding up the back pretty good with the crib, 但我们搬婴儿床时把车后备厢撞得挺狠的so you might have bought a minivan. 所以你很可能得买下这辆面包车I don't want to drive that. It's such a mom car. 我不想开这车太老妈子风了The guy at the dealership said 卖车那人说they're not just for moms anymore. 这车不再只适用于妈妈Then again, he did think you were my husband. 但我还想说那人的确认为你是我老公They thought it at the ultrasound. 照B超的人也这么想Why not at the car dealership? 卖车的人会这么想也不出奇Never been on this side of the table before. 从来没坐过在桌子的这一端I feel powerful. 感觉可以呼风唤雨啊Really? 是咩I feel like I'm selling candy so our team can get new uniforms. 有种像为了队伍筹款买新制服而卖糖果的感觉Okay, so it's $4.75 for a signed black-and-white 签一张黑白照4块7毛5and $9.95 for a color. 彩照9块9毛5Right. Why not five and ten bucks? 好的干嘛不直接收5块和10块Well, I brought my moneymaker. Let me shake it. 我带了换零钱机[性感本钱] 让人家甩甩嘛Hey, that guy's looking over here. 那个家伙正往这边看呢You think he's your first autograph? 你觉得他会是第一位买你签名的粉丝吗I don't know. Be cool. He's coming. He's coming. 不知道淡定他过来了他过来了I love your movie. 我超爱你的电影Well, thanks. 谢谢It has got to be one of the worst things 绝对是我人生中看过I've ever seen in my life. 最糟糕的东西之一Your love confuses me. 你的爱使我困惑- Would you like an autograph? - Sure. -想来张签名照吗 -好啊- Okay. Who do I make it out to? - Daniel. -好的签给谁 -丹尼尔- Okay. - I have to ask. -好的 -我想知道Were you trying to be that bad, 你是故意演这么烂or are you just a terrible actress? 还是你本身演技就烂That did not clear things up. 您这话更让我摸不着头脑了That'll be $4.75. 一张4块7毛5Keep the change. 不用找了But I... 可我...Nothing about that was good. 全程糟透了There's nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon. 没什么好怕的谢尔顿The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. 木塞的平均速度是每小时40公里If that is too fast around a school, 如果这速度在学校操场算飞快it is certainly too fast around a kitchen. 那么在厨房也肯定是Been 15 minutes. Just sayin'. 我想说已经耗15分钟了Okay. I can do this. 好吧我能行Just give me a moment... 再给我点时间Mimosas coming up. 含羞草香槟来了I once left orange juice in my fridge so long, 我有一次把橙汁放在冰箱的时间久到it tasted like a mimosa. 它喝起来像含羞草酒How old was it? 到底放了多久It's hard to say. 不好说I don't remember much after I drank it. 我喝完之后就不省人事了Would you like one, Mrs. Petrescu? 你想来一杯吗佩特雷斯库太太Yes. 当然Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's. 酒好好友尽在苹果蜂餐厅Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's. 美国知名连锁西式平价餐厅She's learning English from TV. 她的英语都是看电视学的TV, good. Now back to you. 电视很棒啊画面回到现场主播Hey, guys. 大伙们Hi, Stuart. 斯图尔特These are for you. 这花是送给你的Oh, they're pretty. Thank you. 好漂亮的花啊谢谢你Stuart, this is Bert from the Caltech geology lab, 斯图尔特这位是加州理工地质实验室的伯特and this is Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs. 这位是楼下的佩特雷斯库太太Nice to meet you. 很高兴认识你们- Hello. - Hey. -你好 -你好So, what did I miss? 我有错过什么吗Eh, we watched Sheldon try to open a bottle for 15 minutes.我们见证了谢尔顿耗费15分钟打开一瓶酒15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.15分钟可以帮您节省15%以上的汽车保险哦15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.美国政府雇员保险公司的电视广告台词Anybody else coming to this thing? 这聚会还有其他人来吗What's your name? 你叫什么名字- Jeff. - Okay. -杰夫 -好的My favorite part is your shower scene. 我最喜欢的部分就是你洗澡那一段Been hearing that a lot today. 这话今天我可听了不少次I even have a screen grab on my phone. 我还用手机截了图Yep, there they are. 没错就是这对宝贝Okay, let's keep it moving. 行了快闪吧你Here you go. 给你Should've punched that guy. 我真该揍这个小子Well, go ahead. He's right over there. 想揍就揍吧他就在那儿呢Why do you do that? Can't you let me have my moment? 施主何苦要点破就不能让我意淫一下吗- Hello. - Hi. -你好 -你好I like your movies. 我喜欢你拍的电影- Thank you! - I saw both of them. -谢谢 -两个我都看过哦I assume we're still talking about the movies, 我想你是指我的两部电影吧but after today, who knows. 但根据今日对话 "两个"还真不一定You think I could get a picture of us? 可以和你合影留念吗Oh, sure. 当然And, uh, could you be giving me a kiss? 可以和你接吻留念吗No. She cannot kiss... 不行她不能亲...What is wrong with you people?! 你们都有什么毛病啊- Leonard... - No, no, no. It's not okay. -莱纳德 -不行这样是不对的- Who are you? - I'm her husband. -你是哪根葱啊 -我是她老公No, you're not. 谁信啊I am. 我真的是Yeah, he really is. 对他真是我老公No. 鬼才信It's got a rearview camera, there's a DVD player-- 这车配置了倒车摄像头光盘播放器oh, and check this out. 你再看这个It's like we're living in the future! 是不是感觉自己进入了未来世界Hey, show her the trunk! Show her the trunk! 给她演示后备箱给她演示后备箱Imagine this: you've got the baby in one hand, 想象一下你左手抱着娃groceries in the other, and you're thinking, 右手提着菜你对自己说"How am I gonna open this trunk?" "我要怎么开后备箱呢"I'm probably thinking, "Where's my husband, 我应该会对自己说 "我那个猪头老公呢and why isn't he helping me?" 他为什么不过来帮我"You don't need my help when you can open the trunk 当轻轻一踢就可以打开后备箱时with a simple kick of the foot. 你就根本不需要我帮忙了No, it's a gentle kick; you're doing it wrong. 不人家是轻踢你没做到位Here. Give me those. 来把东西都给我Uh, maybe it was more of a circle? 是不是应该用脚画个圈呀It's weird that guy thought you were a couple. 卖车的人以为你们俩是夫妻完全不"出奇"啊- Yes! - Yes! -开了 -开了See? 看到没Easy. 轻而易举And look at all this cargo space. 看看这宽敞的后备箱空间You know, we'll get the crib out 等我们把婴儿床搬出来and you can take it for a test-drive. 你就可以上车试开了I'm telling you, this van is gonna be... 告诉你这辆厢型车绝对是...Oh, is it your back? 伤到你的背了吗Uh... yeah. 是的Anyway, let's just get in and see if the GPS 没事我们先上车can take us to the nearest emergency room. 试试看导航能否带我们去最近的急诊室So until Amy's apartment is fixed, 所以直到艾米的公寓修好之前she and I are living here together. 她和我都将在这住I lived with my old girlfriend. 我也曾和我的前女友住在一起She was a geologist, too. 她也是位地质学家Things didn't work out? 后来你俩吹了吗I came home from work one day and she had taken everything. 有一天我下班回家她把一切都卷跑了I'm warning you, 友情提示hide your good rocks. 记得把好的石头标本都藏起来My sister's husband took all her things, too. 我妹夫也把她的东西卷跑了Story at 11:00. 11点即将播出Really, no one else is coming? 真的没有其他客人来了吗Oh, this is it. 没有了You are the practice round. 你们这算是练习赛Practice round? For-for what? 练习赛练习什么Uh, no. He-he just means that 不他的意思是you were the first people we thought of. 你们是我们首先想到的人You know, exactly. 没有错We've never thrown a brunch before, 我们从未邀请过别人来吃早午餐and I wanted to work out all the kinks. 我想先试试水So, I'm like a lab rat 所以我就相当于before your real friends come over? 你真正的朋友来之前的小白鼠You see, your words sound reasonable, 你的话非常合理but your face looks angry. 但你的表情非常生气Help me out here. This is not where I shine. 快帮我一下我最不擅长这个了Stuart, you know you're one of our favorite people. 斯图尔特你知道你是我们最爱的朋友之一Okay, now, see, you look sincere, 你的表情非常真挚but your words are completely false. 但你的话却错得离谱I'm glad we did this test run. 幸好我们举行了这个练习赛These brunches are wild! 早午餐可真是不好办啊But how did you get her to go out with you? 你是怎样成功让她同意跟你约会的啊Well, she moved in across the hall. 她刚好搬到了我家对面And he started to slowly wear me down. 他不断纠缠让我慢慢放弃抵抗Like a river carves a canyon. 只要功夫深铁杵也能磨成针Yeah, except the river kept showing me his Pokemon cards. 不同的是磨针的人老是跟我显摆他的宠物精灵卡Ready to go? 可以走了吗Hang on. This guy's telling me 等等这个人跟我说了how he got the Serial Ape-ist girl to marry him. 他怎么让《杀人恶猿》女主嫁给他This guy? 这货吗But he's wearing a change maker. 可他别了个换零钱机I think it's hot. 我觉得特性感That's right. 没错I'm her change daddy. 我是她的零钱干爹What was I thinking? 我当时在想什么呢Wolowitzes are not a lifting people! 沃罗威茨家的人搬不了重物We tip the lifting people! 我们付小费给搬重物的人Do we really have to sit for hours in the emergency room? 我们真要在急诊室里等几个小时吗They're just gonna give you ice and Advil like last time. 还不是会和上次一样给你点冰和止痛药You're gonna feel terrible when I'm in a wheelchair. 等我以后靠轮椅生活你就后悔去吧Which, by the way, would fit easily in the back 顺便说一下真有轮椅也可以轻松地装进of this award-winning minivan. 这台获奖的商旅车的后备箱Fine, we'll go to the E.R. 行了我们去急诊Just stop selling me on the van. 你就别再给这车打广告了You're right. It sells itself. 你说对它自己就是最棒的广告You have to admit, it's a pretty smooth ride. 你也不得不承认行驶确实平稳I was hoping it'd be quieter. 噪音小点就更好了If childbirth is half this bad, 生孩子要有这一半疼you are so screwed! 你就死定了- Are we there yet?! - Soon. -我们到了吗 -快了Why is it taking so long?! 为什么这么久H-Howard, Howard, look at the DVD screen. 霍华德霍华德看屏幕I put on Batman: The Animated Series. Your favorite! 我在播《蝙蝠侠之风云突变》你的最爱I'm in too much pain to watch cartoo... 太疼了没心情看卡通Oh! This is a good one. 这集好看I've been babysitting him way longer than you have. 我带这孩子的时间可比你长多了Fine. I'll buy the stupid van. 行我买这台蠢车还不行吗This is the best blintz I've ever had. 我从来没吃过这么好吃的薄饼Oh. Thank you. 谢谢It almost makes up for the incredibly awkward turn 十分美味只差一点就能挽回things took earlier. 刚刚万分尴尬的局面呢You know what, I-I think I'm just gonna go. 我说我还是走吧No, Stuart, don't. 不斯图尔特别走No, I-I consider you and Sheldon like my family, 不我把你和谢尔顿当成我的家人and I'm not even sure you think of me as a friend. 可我都不确定你们有没有把我当朋友You have any idea how that feels? 你懂那种感受吗We're so sorry. 我们非常抱歉I'm always the last one anybody thinks of. 我总是最后一个被想起的家伙Well, no, that's not true. 不不是这样的I mean, sometimes it's Koothrappali. 偶尔是库萨帕里But we're not supposed to say that 但我们不应该这么说'cause he's a minority. 他是有色人种怕有歧视嫌疑Bye. 再见Stuart, wait. 斯图尔特等等I do know what it feels like to be left out. 我确实知道被冷落的感受I know how it feels, too. 我也知道那种感受All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it. 知道了这是我和他之间的问题没你事Stuart, perhaps we do take you for granted, 斯图尔特也许我们太不重视你的好and that is not acceptable. 这是不可接受的错误Please know that you truly are a valuable member 但请你知道你真的是我们这个社交团体中of our social group. 非常重要的一员Thank you. 谢谢You know, in fact, I'd like to propose a toast. 这样我想举杯祝酒To Stuart. 敬斯图尔特A fine man, 优秀男子a good friend and a wonderful guest. 好朋友还是一位很棒的客人- Hear, hear. - Cheers. -说得好 -干杯Cheers. Filmed before a live studio audience. 干杯现场观众实况录播And that is how a short asthmatic scientist 这就是一个哮喘矮子科学家landed a stone cold fox. 如何搞定了冷血冰山美人I didn't know you can propose to the same person 我都不知道跟一个人求婚so many times. 居然能求那么多次The third time, I did it in skywriting, 第三次我是让飞机在空中写字求婚but she never looked up. 可惜她始终没抬头看过You know, once, I proposed to him. 还有一次是我跟他求婚的Yeah. I said no. 对被我拒绝了Why? 为什么I just wanted to make her work for it. 想让她多费点功夫争取本少爷啊Yeah, that's gonna cost you later. 对小女子一会儿就"报答"你Hang on. Is she just with you because you're rich? 等等她是为了你有钱才跟你在一起吗She makes more money than I do! 她挣得比我还多What?! Who are you?! 什么您是何方神圣Do you know what else I love about you? 知道我还喜欢你什么吗Y-Your handwriting is impeccable! 你的字写得无可挑剔Thank you for noticing! 感谢你注意到啊No, I mean it. I mean it. 真的我说真的It's like you have the soul of a label maker. 简直像被打标签机灵魂附体了You know what I love about you? Hmm? 知道我喜欢你什么吗You never leave the house without a paper clip! 你出门必备曲别针You never know when two pieces of paper 上天有不测之风云might temporarily need fastening in the top left corner. 两纸有左上角待夹I also love how you never use swear words. 我还喜欢你从来不说脏话You know, it turns out, 但结果是you can hurt people just as well without 'em. 骂人不吐脏字照样杀人于无形Maybe I can get a little help putting some of this stuff away. 谁有空过来帮忙把这些东西收好Oh, calm down. 别激动I already put away five of these! 我不是才把五杯这个"收进"肚里吗You see? 你看吧No muss, no fuss, not a single cuss. 轻松堵上她嘴不用一个脏字。