ContentsAbstract in English (I)Abstract in Chinese (II)1. Introduction (2)2. Literature review (3)2.1 Study abroad (3)2.2 Study at home (3)3. Cultural roots behind American and Chinese families (5)3.1 Cultural roots behind American families (5)4. Comparative analysis of conflicts and solutions in Modern Family and Home With Kids (5)4.1 Conflicts between parents and children (5)4.1.1 Conflicts concerning family education (6)4.1.2 Conflicts concerning habits (6)4.1.3 Solutions to conflicts between parents and children (6)4.2 Conflicts between wife and husband (7)4.2.1 Conflicts concerning values (7)4.2.2 Conflicts concerning education (8)4.2.3 Solutions to conflicts between wife and husband (8)4.3 Conflicts between work and family (8)4.3.1 Men 's conflicts between work and family (9)4.3.2 Women 's conflicts between work and family (9)4.4 Conflicts between siblings (10)4.4.1 Conflicts between biological siblings (10)4.4.2 Conflicts between step-siblings (10)4.4.3 Solutions to conflicts between siblings (10)5. Conclusion (11)Bibliography (12)Acknowledgments (13)Comparative Analysis of American and Chinese Solutions toFamily Conflicts in Modern Family and Home With KidsStudent: li lili Supervisor: Long Humin1. IntroductionWith the progress of the society, people focus more on economic development. T hey cannot care about their spiritual pursuit with rapid pace of life. More and more families are broken with household because they cannot deal with contradictions. The soaring divorce rate is increased by impact of the collapse of the families. A f amily is the smallest unit in society. Families often can directly affect social harmony and stability. However, for most families, a main conflict appear s to influence family harmony when family members want to deal with all conflicts. It is an important theme that we should still to explore h ow to deal with all kinds of contradictions and what family members should do so that the contemporary society will become more harmony.Compared with the ways of western families conflicts handling, in China, people always continue to carry forward the tradition of classical Chinese family values. On the contrary, learning from American family treatments, maybe we can find some useful methods which are suitable for Chinese families. Family harmony has much effect on individuals, and good idea mature ideologies will encourage us to become better citizens and it can also improve our national quality. That is what we say family harmony is social harmony. With China's opening to the outside world degree deepening, Chinese people are influenced by western culture in all aspects of our lives. It makes Chinese people continuously explore the advanced cultural values in the process of the development. So as while, we should discard the dross and select the essence by several different ways and these behaviors can promote to build our harmonious society. By understanding the differences with other countries between cultural background and values. For the students of foreign language major, we can understand American culture better and go deep cross-cultural communication.2.Literature review2.1 Study abroadAbroad have on Chinese and western family conflicts and possible to make some research and in the cultural values of individualism as the core, guide the American emphasis on equality and direct expression, informal in conflict situations (Knutson, 1994). Research the Chinese conflict behavior, its core is collectivism, the harmony, integration, face, context, relevance as a conflict behavior related the basic Chinese cultural values (Westwood, 1991). The Chinese will want to convey information about themselves to adopt indirect way to communicate, communicator will try to avoid using the word "no", to prevent conflicts due to language problems. Westerners don't, they prefer the direct way to communicate (Chen, 1995). In a traditional Chinese family, to maintain the family harmony, maintain family harmony is the most important values (Ting–Yoomey, 2000).Any conflicts and contradictions would destroy the harmonious state, therefore, to avoid conflict can maintain harmony. Therefore, try to avoid conflict and contradiction. Once the conflict, in the first place to seek a peaceful and indirect way to solve, for desalination conflict, solve the contradiction. Appear at the same time, in immigrant families, such as family conflicts, we should pay attention to daily specification, clear differences in cultural values between parents and children, cultural conflict will affect the quality of the relationship between children and family, less lead to happiness (Fulign, 1998).Berhane Adugnaw (2012), proper communication and interaction between family members effectively reduce the generation of family conflicts, is one of the ways to solve family conflicts effectively. Communication is not only beneficial to relieve their emotions, adjust their own state, is also the most direct way to solve the problem.2.2 Study at homeIn China, each nation's survival environment of the culture of its generation and development has a huge impact. In a sense, culture is the process of nature and geographical environment is the first premise condition of culture generated (PeiXi, 2009). Geographical factors causes China and Europe cultural differences and the differences involved are the important factors of all things. He put forward from the Angle of education appears too much emphasis on children wisdom to teach Chinese family, ignore the problem to develop the innovative ability of children, at the same time due to the factors of social structure, to improve women' s social status. Oncethere was a problem in family, marriage. It's very difficult to sustain. Chinese traditional thought is reconciliation, when the conflict occurs, more attitude will be to play down the conflict. Chinese culture has a very important aspect is the concept of "face" (Chen Yue, 2010). In Chinese society, the face is considered very important in a relationship. But in western countries, the face is not so important, so it will not become the carrier of contradictions. In western countries, for a warm and harmonious family relationship, the most indispensable is mutual understanding and communication. From the square, the patriarchal domination to free harmony, is to be worth our using for reference the development process of (Zhang Zhongjun, 2014). For Confucianism in China, "filial piety" has always been the core of Chinese family value orientation and the right of home elders. Far more than American ones, any violation of hierarchical relationships can lead to a conflict between the old and the young generation. It also emphasizes the family harmony, Chinese family is considered very cohesive. And American individualism is deeply ingrained, but this does not mean that family relationships are fragile (Jing TingTing, 2012). Chinese people value family love and affection as well as United States. But the difference is that they have their own way to interpret and express their love for family members, and this is the style which is not same in China. But Chinese people are familiar with some. For example, the American people believe that they need to express ‘love’ by actions. Of course not only actions, they also often use language to express ‘love’. For people of the United States, concepts like mutual respect and loyalty are considered to be the important factors in family relationships. In addition, on the one hand, the communication between husband and wife is indispensable. On the other hand, personal privacy was also asked to be respected. This is different to the Chinese family values. In China, an intimate relationship requires all members in the family that they should not have any secret and should not be hidden in each other. On family education, the two countries are quite different in the way. In the Mmodern Ffamily reflects American families from the perspective of children to be independent ability exercise for children' s education to let it go and not let approach (Xia Jing, 2013). The Chinese family is relatively heavily for child care and want to give their children the best. And demands for learning is also very high.3.Cultural roots behind American and Chinese families3.1 Cultural roots behind American familiesIndividualism is a core value in America. They are straight to express their views, as well the conflicts always come from this. In Europe, there are a few people with individualisms. The people with individualism mainly stay in America. The most impressive social root is that feudalism is imperfection in medieval in western countries. The people are not indoctrinated too much by the government of America, so that their national and collective consciousness are not strong. Then the rise of capitalism emphasizes individualism and maximizes it. Compared with Europe, the America is established with wilderness so that the Americans have nothing with tradition and old political and economic system. The early pioneers of American frequently relied on individual efforts and hard works to achieve success. It must be the origin of individualism.3.2 Cultural roots behind Chinese familiesBy contract, China has passed a lengthy feudal era. It is an important collective consciousness in our value systems that a harmonious family can lead to the success of everything. If we review the history of China, “filial piety”is very important in Chinese traditional culture to guide and standardize people’s thoughts and behaviors. To be a basic ethic standard for a Chinese family, “filial piety”has an important promoting significance to promote the quality of family members, establish a harmonious family and stabilize the society. The Confucian View is become increasingly rich and perfect with the changes of times by the unique social economic and cultural and political background in China. On the other hand, the collectivism is deeply ingrained. So, in order not to affect the family harmony, when conflict is happened, the family members always choose a peaceful way to solve the conflict. 4. Comparative analysis of conflicts and solutions in Modern Familyand Home With Kids4.1 Conflicts between parents and childrenThere were many conflicts between parents and children, such as different habits in our daily life and different ways of thinking. Because of parents are older than us, so they think that they have a rich life experience. More or less, they always do someguidance for the choice of their children. Some parents think the choice is right, but the children do not understand. At this time, the conflict may be happened.4.1.1 Conflicts concerning family educationFamily education refers to the interactive process of parents or elders in the family of the impact of child growth and development. It is the foundation of the whole school education and social education. At the same time, it plays an important role for children’s value and world view. China and America are two power countries in west and east. There are exist differences in the concept of family education between Chinese and American. For example, about the relationships between parents and children, parents of our country are always in the driver’s seat. On the contrary, the American parents always pay more attention to get along equally with their children. On parenting attitude, Chinese parents always hope that the children will be outstanding, but American parents often pay more attention to train children’s individuality and increase their innovation ability. In educational methods, Chinese parents always act on their children’s behalf, but American parents always focus on children’s operational ability. They would take out the time to communicate equally with their children. All above these lead to the differences ability between two countries, and reflect some problems in family educations of our country.For example, in the Home with KidsLiu Mei: Are you OK？There must be huge gap in your mind now. Do you have the thought to find a way to escape？Dong Hai: The meeting is quite well.Liu Mei: What did the teacher tell you about Liu Xing？（The grandma coughs, indicating Xia Donghai not to tell the truth）Dong Hai: Err, I take some medicine for grandma. （Laughter）Liu Mei: Quickly, what did the teacher tell youDong Hai: Well, he said…nothing.In the Modern Family, Clare' s little daughter, the achievement is very good. , But Claire and her husband didn’t want her read all days and offered to take her out to play.4.1.2 Conflicts concerning habitsThe different thought habits with different individuals will lead to their different living habits. On this condition, the conflict will be happened because of the different habits between parents and children.For example, in the first episode of the first season in the Modern Family, the mother Clare has called children to eat dinner, but no one responded. The father Phil played mobile phone intently. Their daughter came late with her cellphone. She blamed that Clare should not yell but can send a message. Such different habits led to a chaotic home.And for another example, in the Home with Kids, the daughter Xiao Xue loved young fashionable skirts, while the mother Liu Mei didn’t think the skirt is suitable for this age of Xiao Xue. So the conflict was happened.4.1.3 Solutions to conflicts between parents and childrenIn terms of education, the concepts are quite difference between Chinese and American. In above example, after the parents meeting, Liu Mei eagerly asked his husband what the teacher thought about Liu Xing. But Xia Donghai avoided this problem with the excuse for the grandmother’s medicine. Even so, Liu Mei still pestered. Xia Donghai cleverly concealed the truth, because he worried that Liu Xing would be punished. From this, we can see the degree of recognition for the children by Chinese parents. But in American, parents may pay more attention to children development in all-around way but only the study. They emphasize the study is as important as entertainments. In the education methods, the American parents stand in a perspective with the living independent ability of children to take the method with hands-off but not indulged. In their view, if the children are interested in something, they would study hard. Because of the different with people’s interesting, hobbies and talents, the children should go forward with the path in life by themselves. The American parents will take out times to communicate equally with their children and give a full affirmation for children’s thought and behaviors and give comments for their wrong. These are worthy of our learning.4.2 Conflicts between wife and husbandIn family life, the conflict is frequently occurred between the husband and wife. They will make different choice when they are suffered some problems by their different life and world values. But the frequent contradictions between them are not necessarily because of on feelings. Maybe, it is the reason that they are both subjective and are not objective for difference. They all lack of self-regulation ability and always give priority with the ideas of themselves. Both of them always hope that the opposite side will understand and obey themselves in their life. So, the problem and conflict will be more and more. And the patience for each other are smaller andsmaller. That will form a fixed pattern of life that both of the couple will be sensitive and extreme easily. As while, the contradictions usually appear in values, living habits and children education, etc.4.2.1 Conflicts concerning valuesIn the Modern Family, the combination of old man and his little wife is a typical representative., Hhis wife Gloria from Colombia, but and her husband Jay is American withto the core. In the TVplay, for example, their son Manny when he went to school wearing a traditional Columbia cloak, Jay thinks the cloak like Christmas tree cover, but Gloria has supports his son to show his hometown customs. Again Also like Jay thinks to buy so many jewelry and cosmetics is meaningless, but Gloria don’t think so.In th e Home with Kids, there is such a scenario. Liu Xing has fight and beat a boy which the boy bullied his classmate. The classmate’s father said thanks to Liu Xing. Xia Donghai thought that Liu Xing’s done was worthy to praise. But Liu Mei did not agree with her husband, even asked Liu Xing to reflect on himself without fighting in the further. Liu Xing felt very angry. After a while, the father of Liu Xing’s classmate found Liu Xing and told him that there is a person who bullied his son. But Liu Xing has turned a deaf ear.4.2.2 Conflicts concerning educationAbout education, the contradiction between husband and wife are still exist. In the Modern Family, the son Manny wanted to go to school by bike. But his mother was worried that Manny has not learned to ride a bike. So the mother made the bike to be a tricycle and commanded Manny should protect himself not to fall. But his father against adamantly. He told Manny that he must be brave. And the father taught Manny to ride a real bike.4.2.3 Solutions to conflicts between wife and husbandIn the above all examples, we can summarize their methods to solve the problems. When their values were occurred, the most effective solution is communication. When Cloria and Jay had different opinions, they would express their intentions and hope to understand each other, but not by quarrel or persisting own opinion. When they had conflict of education, they also would be consensus with communication. Beside that, they would to be a precept for their children, so that the children can find answers from their parents. In t he Modern Family,when manny learned to ride a bike, the father found that the mother was also afraid of riding a bike. So the father put forward that he could teach the mother Gloria together. The father proved that it was not soscary to ride a bike as Gloria’s thought. This behavior not only encouraged Gloria, but also made the family more harmonious.4.3 Conflicts between work and familyWith the rapid development of economy and increasing competition, people need to put more time and energy into work. Because of the limited time and energy to work and solve family conflicts by everyone, the conflict between working and family is inevitable. On the other hand, people always emphasis on the quality of life and the pursuit of happiness, the conflict between working and family is also inevitable. So when the conflict occurred, we should adopt appropriate methods to solve the problem.4.3.1 Men 's conflicts between work and familyThe conflict with male between work and family always is because that the income by their working dose not enough for the family expenses. In the Modern Family,the father Phil did not sale only one house for several months. He did not have income, but he dared not to tell his family. Anxiety and impatience made his temper changed. Not only he pulled a long face in daily, but also required his children especially severe than usual. For another example in the Modern Family with the gay couple, Mitchell lost his job but he dared not to tell Cameron. He went out to work and backed as usual. And he also must be pretend as that nothing was happened. And in the Home with Kids, the father Xia Donghai also had the same worried. When the income was not enough for household expenses, he tired to earn extra income from other part-time jobs. But the income was not still enough. So that he was very upset.4.3.2 Women 's conflicts between work and familyThe conflict with female between work and family is always because the lack of energy to balance work and family.In the Modern Family, Claire stayed in home and felt boredom that she wanted to go out and communicate with others. She found a job in her fathers company. Her husband Phil agreed that. But when Claire left, Phil found that their home has became a mess without her wife. The family lost orderly. Phil hoped his wife would back soon.In the Home with Kids, Liu Mei often went out because of some urgent things as a nurse. So that their children were taken care without anyone. Sometimes, she also couldn’t balance work and family.4.3.3 Solutions to conflicts between work and familyFrom these conflicts between work and family, we can see that both males orfemales always take some contradictions because of their works and families. When these contradictions occurs, the characters in above plays maybe can give us some advises. When the husband falls into a flutter because of his work stress, the wife should give more understanding and forwardly communicate with the husband to untangle the pressure. Even the wife should forwardly propose to share the pressure for their family. On the contrary, when the wife wants to go out for a work, the husband should respect the decision by his wife and forwardly undertake some housework. Then the both husband and wife can work and share the pressure with each other. All in all, when the conflict occurs between work and family, the husband and wife should respect and understand each other. They all should contribute to their harmonious family environment.4.4 Conflicts between siblingsIn all kinds of contradictory relations, the conflict is also occurred between brothers and sisters. Because of the different personalities and habits, quarrels must be unavoidably happened with living under one roof. And because of the different ages, the generation gaps will be produced among them. The reasons are different in their quarrels. Some quarrels are just caused by small things. Or some children only want to get their parents’ attention.4.4.1 Conflicts between biological siblingsThe c onflicts between biological siblings, In the Modern Family, there are many conflicts between Clair’s two daughters. They had distinct characters. The eldest daughter Haley didn’t love study but she was good at communication. The youngest daughter Alex loved study that she was considered a nerd. Although Haley was older, but she was not very sensible. She was often laughed by Alex. Although Alex was younger, but she was precocious. Her thought like adults and often be called as a nerd by Haley. Haley always laughed at Alex without any friends. They often quarreled for some small problems.In the Home with Kids, Xiao Xue and Xiao Yu are biological. Although they often discussed together to do some bad things, they would quarreled. Their age gap is big. Xiao Xue was more intelligent. When Xiao Yu came back to throw out his shoes or have some bad habits, Xiao Xue would criticize Xiao Yu. The quarrel began.4.4.2 Conflicts between step-siblingsIn the Modern Family, just Manny, Claire and Mitchell have the relationships. But as Claire and Mitchell all had their own families, they all had little conflicts with their youngest brother which they meet him infrequently.But in the Home with Kids, Xiao Xue and Liu Xing always produced conflicts. Xiao Xue, a obedient girl in all people, had a good achievement with clever and docile personality. She was always compared with Liu Xing by their mother to blow the confidence of Liu Xing. They would quarreled because of some misunderstanding. For example, One time, Xiao Xue broken a vase and admitted her fault to her parents. Her mother gave her a award because of her honest. Liu Xing seen this and imitated Xiao Xue. He also broken a vase deliberately and left a notice to admit that by himself. He thought his mother would give him a award as same as Xiao Xue. But when he came back, the vase was stood in there well and the notice was disappeared. He rushed in Xiao Xue’s room angrily and asked her that she was too afraid that Liu Xing would get the award to do this deliberately. But it was not the truth. Their grandmother came back and saw the notice. She was worried that Liu Xing would be criticized, so she cleaned up all the things.4.4.3 Solutions to conflicts between siblingsIt is very normal to have some differences between brothers and sisters. And the main is to see how they would solve the problems. Parents also play an important role in this relationship. Parents should stand on different perspectives to handle all things equally, give advises to their children and remove their emotions. In addition, when the conflict occurs, they should tolerate each other including the foibles. They should try to enter into each other’s life and solve the misunderstanding by communications. As long as they will have a tolerant heart, the family will be more harmonious.5. ConclusionCompared with the two comedies, we can find that it is very normal to produce the conflict by family members. But the main is what we should do to handle the problem exactly. In a relationship of parents and children, parents can play good friends with their children, not only command them to do something. Parents can equally communicate with their children and give advises. And they can let their free to do things what they like, but not only pay attention to the scores. They can train their children’s innovation ability to promote all-round development of morality, intelligence and physique. So we say that the frequent and freedom parent-child relationship can promote family harmony.Conjugal relationship is followed by. There are a lot of factories in the relationship. Whether the problem was cause by work or education for their children, it occurs. At this time, the husband and wife can respect each other with no self-centered and understand each other with transpositional consideration. They cancommunicate timely for every problem. So all problems will be solved. At last, the conflicts also will be produced in children. When children can’t handle the conflict properly, parents should adjust to avoid the conflict expended. At the same time, children also should tolerate and care for each other. They should help each other in difficulties and become a loving family.Bibliography[1]]. Berhane, A. 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And I should thank to all teachers which has taught me in four years. Their precise and meticulous work styles will be the example for me forever. They give me endless inspiration with their skillful and patient instructions and eclectic thought. At last, I will thank my classmates, friends. They always give me beneficial advises. Because of their supports, encouragement and help, I could spend a faithful study life in four years.。
