下载文档原格式
10个冻死人的英语冷笑话，真冷~——今天口语君给大家分享10个英语句子里的笑话咱么一起感受英语冷笑话的冷！1、涨潮和海滩—What did the beach say as the tide came in？涨潮时，海滩说了什么？—Long time, no sea.笑点解析：海滩说Long time, no sea，既是“很久没有海水”的意思，又可以理解为“好久不见（Long time no see）”。
2、大象与老鼠—Why won’t the elephant use the puter?为啥大象不用电脑？—He’s afraid of the mouse!因为害他怕老鼠。
笑点解析：“老鼠”和“鼠标”的英文都是mouse，这里有一语双关的意思。
3、6和7、8、9—why is 6 afraid of 7？为什么6害怕7？—Because 7,8,9.因为7,8,9。
笑点解析：7、 8 、9， seven eight nine，与7 ate 9同音；7把9给吃掉了，所以6害怕7，因为它会吃掉9；（ate 是“吃”的过去式）4、毯子的掩护—What did the blanket say to the bed?毯子对床说了什么？—Don’t worry. I got you covered.别担心，我掩护你。
笑点解析：cover有“覆盖”的意思，也有“掩护”的意思。
5、不能站立的自行车—Why can't a bike stand up on it's own?自行车为什么不能站起来？—Because it's two tired.笑点解析：两个轮子two tired听起来像too tired。
6、关于巧合Whenever someone says， "I don't believe in coincidences."I say, "Oh my God, me neither!"每当有人说：“我不相信巧合。
超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话除了民间口头流传的笑话外,成书的笑话集也是读书人经史子集之外不可或缺的闲趣。
下面是店铺带来的超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话，欢迎阅读!超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话篇一Put Yourself in My place 设身处地替人想一想Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse. Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.某一农场上，老妈要老爸去修理茅房。
老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回来了。
“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that shithouse, Mom.”“那个茅房什么问题也没有啊，孩子的娘。
”Mom took Dad back to the outhouse and stuck his head down in the hole.老妈将老爸带回茅房，把他的头塞进茅坑当中。
“Hey,” said Dad, “my beard is stuck!”“嘿!”老爸说道“，我的胡子粘住了!”“Aggravatin’, ain’t it?”“问题严重了，是不是呢?”超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话篇二A Satisfied Customer 一位心满意足的客户A rough-looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.“I wanna open a god-damned checking account.”有一位相貌粗鲁的家伙走进银行对柜台职员说：“我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。
”“Certainly, sir,” replied the young lady, “but there’s no need to use that kind of language.”“当然可以啦，先生，”年轻的小姐回答说“，但没有必要使用那种字眼。
超搞笑的简单英语小笑话超搞笑的简单英语小笑话笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
店铺整理了超搞笑的简单英语小笑话，欢迎阅读! 超搞笑的简单英语小笑话篇一When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.我们决定卖掉我们的房子。
于是，我们就在院前的大树上钉了两块牌子，上面写着:“拍卖。
”没过多久，我们的门铃就响了。
一位年轻人问:“你们的树想卖多少钱?”超搞笑的简单英语小笑话篇二Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream parlor.where I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.我和一位朋友来到一家冰淇琳店。
我要了一个我最喜欢吃的巧克力奶油圣代。
当女招待送来我的冰淇淋时，我发现我的冰淇沐是香草的。
我说:“我要的是巧克力的。
”The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate."那位年轻的女士查了一下订单回答说:“你确实要的是巧克力的。
经典英语小笑话大全爆笑善讲笑活,很受各种社交场台的欢迎,因为人们喜欢与机敏活泼、幽默风趣的人交往。
下面是店铺带来的经典爆笑英语小笑话，欢迎阅读! 经典爆笑英语小笑话篇一寻找出纳员 Looking for a CashierThere was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago."So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now."So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."晚宴上，有位银行家坐在那儿，他的朋友问他：“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳，是吗?”银行家回答：“是的，我们是在找。
”朋友说：“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?”银行家说：“我们确实是雇用了一个人，而我们现在就是在找这个人。
一句话英文笑话1. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们构成了一切！（"make up everything" 既可以理解为构成一切，也可以理解为编造一切）解释：这是一种双关语，"make up everything" 既指构成物质，也暗指编造谎言。
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.我告诉我的妻子她应该接受自己的错误。
她给了我一个拥抱。
解释：这是一种双关语，"embrace her mistakes" 既可以理解为接受错误，也可以理解为拥抱错误。
3. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!自行车为什么会倒下？因为它太累了！（"two-tired" 有两重意思，一是两个轮胎，二是累了）解释：这是一种双关语，"two-tired" 既指两个轮胎，也指疲劳。
4. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.我正在读一本关于反重力的书。
放不下。
（"uplifting" 有两重意思，一是振奋人心，二是上升）解释：这是一种双关语，"uplifting" 既指令人振奋，也指向上升。
5. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.你听说过有幽闭恐惧症的宇航员吗？他只是需要一点空间。
英语双关语笑话23篇English PunsThree tomatoes are walking down the street, a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. The baby tomato is lagging behind the poppa and momma tomato. The poppa tomato gets mad, goes over to the momma tomato and stamps on him --(STAMPS on the ground)-- and says：catch up.There once was a very large lady in our town. She wore a dress size 16. I knew her when she was young, but she had a much smaller size.Why do you think she is now wearing a size 16?I guess she just 8 + 8 (ate and ate).Submitted by David TriminghamA man wanting to borrow another man's newspaper asks, "Are you finishe(d)?" The other man replies, "No, I'm Norwegian."Submitted by Aleksander EriksenI was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.Submitted by Carcelli's familyA woman was driving in her car on a narrow road. She was knitting at the same time, so she was driving very slowly.A man came up from behind and he wanted to pass her. He opened the window and yelled, "Pull over! Pull over!"The lady yelled back, "No, it's a sweater!"Submitted by： Britt Bolving HansenTwo friends meet and one of them says："I've taught my dog how to speak English!""That's impossible", says the other man."Dogs don't speak!""It's true! I'll show you." He turns to his dog, "How's the situation in England?"The dog answers： "Rough, rough."Submitted by： Alexandra PedroOne day an English grammar teacher was looking ill.A student asked, "What's the matter?""Tense," answered the teacher, describing how he felt.The student paused, then continued, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter... ?"Submitted by： FredricTeacher：Rumiko, be careful your purse is open. Someone might take your money!Rumiko：Oh, no. I left it open so I can get more money.Teacher：How can you get more money?Rumiko：The weather report said we would have some change in our weather! Submitted by Walter Lowe, aka "Anonymouse"Boyfriend：What is your favorite music group?Girlfriend：I love U2!Boyfriend：I love you too, but what is your favorite music group?Submitted by PhyllisA horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "So what's with the long face?" Submitted by Joe Cohen Sped TeacherI hear this new cemetry is very popular. People are just dying to get in. Submitted by Glen AshOne day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb.When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper.The men asked："What are you doing with all of your great works of music?" Mozart repied, "I'm decomposing!".Submitted by Marcia VillasanaThere is this man who meets a fairy. He is granted three wishes. Having wished for his most urgent needs the man uses his third wish to ask the fairy to return and give him three more wishes.The fairy complies and says： "You can call me whenever you want.""How can I call you. Please tell me your name." the man says."My name is Nuff," says the fairy."Well", says the man "That is an odd name. I have never heard of it before."The fairy replies, "Surely you will have heard of Fairy Nuff." (fair enough)Submitted by： Uli (Paderborn, Germany)[This one works best when spoken aloud.]Once upon a time a mother skunk had two children named "In" and "Out". They were very active children and whenever In was in, Out was out. When Out was in, In was out.One day when Out was in and In was out, the mother skunk said "Out, go out and find In and tell In to come in." Out went out to find In to bring In back in. Within a minute, Out came back in from going out and Out brought In right back in.Amazed, the mother skunk said, "Out, you just went out to find In and brought In right back in! How did you do it?"To this, Out replied "Instinct!" [In stinked]Submitted by Walter LoweWhat's the difference between white socks and red socks?(Students will most likely answer the color)Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another：The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!Submitted by：Rolando SilvaIn London, one man to another：A："You know, my daughter has married an Irishman"B："Oh, really?"A："No, O'Reilly"Submitted by：Scalmo (Italy)A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and asks for a pint for himself and a half pint for Tiny, his lizard.The barman looks a little taken aback but serves him and Tiny. Finally, curiosity gets the better of him;Barman： Why do you call him Tiny?Man： Because he's my newt.It pays to be prepared to teach newt, lizard and minute afterwards, but expect a few groans as the penny drops!Submitted by Andy Harvey, Solihull College, UK.A useful one on homophones ：Once upon a time, somewhere in Europe, a family with three sons lived on a farm. As the farm was too small to support all of them, and the parents were not yet ready to retire, the sons decided to emigrate to South America, where they bought a ranch and raised beef cattle.Question： So what did they call their ranch?Answer： They called it "Focus", because that's where the sun's rays meet (sons raise meat).Submitted by： Jacky AmarThis is the same joke as above, but an earlier submission and worded differently.Three brothers started a cattle ranch out west. They were very successfull, but could not agree what to call their ranch. They finally agreed to wire their father back east and abide by his decision. He replied at once they should call it "focus". They did so, but now argued endlessly about why he had given them that name. They sent him another wire to ask why that name. He replied, "Simple, because focus is where the sun's rays meet (son's raise meat)."Submitted by Don HolzworthA：How do you like your new job at the cemetery?B：I quit after a week. I found the work too frustrating.A：What happened?B：No matter what I said to the customers, they were always dead right! Submitted by Bob Burgel, VancouverThere were two spies escaping from the enemy over the Alps into neutral Switzerland during the war. As they began to feel safe, one spy starts to tell the other what he found out in enemy territory. The other tells him to speak quietly. "Why?", asks his friend a little perplexed. "There's nobody around for miles. I could scream and not a soul would hear us up here.....!""Ah," replied the other,"haven't you heard? There are mountain ears?" (mountaineers)Submitted by Paddy Greenleaf, teacher IH Viseu, PortugalLynn：Tom's always running into cars in front of him at traffic lights making dents.Max：Is he really? A wreckless type, huh? What does he do for a living? Lynn：He is a dent-ist.(If the student can also speak Japanese, then continue the joke.)Max： I suppose he's had to pay a lot in damages.Lynn： No. He usually says "sorry" and gets away with it.Max： Don't they complain?Lynn： It may be strange, but they don't.Max： What are they afraid of?Lynn： They're afraid of shikaeshi from the dentist!(For those of you who don't speak Japanese, "shikaeshi" means revenge or getting back at someone while "shikaishi," which sounds similar, refers to a dentist.)Submitted by Seiichi Nakada, Pu.D (a doctor of punology)A：Did you hear about the guy with the corduroy pillow?B：No, I didn't.A：Really? It made headlines!Submitted by Dale Ehrlich; Seoul, Korea。
经典幽默的英语笑话双语学习英语可以是一个枯燥的过程，也可以是一个有趣的过程。
小编在此献上搞笑的英语笑话，希望对大家有所帮助。
英语幽默小笑话：大胆的猜想Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery,he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The professor asked if anyone knewwhat that meant.我们的物理教授千方白计地引导学生讨论阿基米德的排水原理。
他告诉我们，阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他进入池子，发现水涨高了，溢出池沿。
他对这一发现十分激动，跑到街上高喊:"Eureka, eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked! I'm naked!"一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”英语幽默小笑话：上帝在看着The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.God is watching."学生们在食堂排队吃午餐。
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
