初一英语笑话小故事
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2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。
”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。
英语小笑话适合初一的笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。
小编精心收集了适合初一的英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!适合初一的英语小笑话篇1白痴老师If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴,就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,沉默了很久之后,有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂,先生,你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."这名学生说:“ 唉呀,实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢,而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。
”适合初一的英语小笑话篇2交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。
点了两份饮料。
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.然后他们就从他们的公文包当中拿出三明治开始吃。
The waiter became quite concerned服务生感到相当不妥,and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches in here!"就走过去告诉他们:“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治!”The attorneys looked each other ,这两位律师彼此。
关于初中的英语笑话带翻译笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
本文是关于初中的英语笑话带翻译,希望对大家有帮助!关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇一How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨,一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。
“外面太滑了,我每向前迈一步,就要向后退两步。
”老板狐疑地看着他。
“噢,是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃,”他说,“然后我就往家里走。
”关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇二Three SurgeonsThree famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."三个外科医生三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。
初中幽默英语小故事从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来初中幽默英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!初中幽默英语小故事1:不要动A friend of mine was giving an important dinner party for her husband's business associates.She put guest towels and soap in the bathroom, and, not wanting her teenagers to use them first, attached warning notes that read:"Use these, I'll kill you."When the guests left after a successful evening, she went into the bathroom and found towels and soap untouched…with her warning notes still on them.我的一位朋友为他丈夫举办了一次很重要的业务往来交往招待会。
他把客人用的毛巾、香皂都放在洗澡间。
为了不让她的小孩们先把这些东西用了,她在上面贴了张条子。
上面写着:用一下,我就杀了你们。
当客人们度过一个很愉快的晚上满意而去后,她来到洗澡间,发现毛巾和香皂都无人用过…因为她贴的条子还在上面。
初中幽默英语小故事2:真情We were leaving a football game in a throng of people.My husband, who never displays affection in public, took my hand. I has delighted. As we walked hand in hand out of the stadium. I looked up at him, smiling, and asked, "You don't want to lose me?""No," he said. "I don't want to look for you."我们和一大群人在橄榄球比赛散场时纷纷撤离比赛场。
初一英语笑话带翻译80字笑话是日常生活中常见的一种幽默。
与一般日常会话不同,笑话刻意违反合作原则,由此衍生出会话含意,并利用会话含意之间的冲突实现其预定功能。
小编精心收集了初一80字英语笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!初一80字英语笑话带翻译篇1a much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help:候诊室里坐着一位忧心忡忡的病人,当医生传唤他时,"doctor, i don't know what to do. i accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday!"他满面愁容的说:“医生,怎么办?我昨天误喝下一瓶汽油!”"oh, don't worry! all you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days!"医生回答他說:“喔..没关系啦!记得这几天不要抽烟!”初一80字英语笑话带翻译篇2three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. the cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.三个在森林迷路的人被食人族抓住了。
食人族首领对他们说,如果他们能通过一项游戏,他们就能活命。
the first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. so all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.测验的第一关是,去森林里采摘属于同一品种的10个水果。
初一英语笑话小故事精选导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《初一英语笑话小故事精选》的内容,具体内容:笑话作为一种特殊的交际策略,它能够帮助人们缓解尴尬的气氛,从而保持和谐的人际关系。
我精心收集了初一英语笑话小故事,供大家欣赏学习!初一英语笑话小故事篇1大脑袋Big H...笑话作为一种特殊的交际策略,它能够帮助人们缓解尴尬的气氛,从而保持和谐的人际关系。
我精心收集了初一英语笑话小故事,供大家欣赏学习!初一英语笑话小故事篇1大脑袋Big Head"All the kids make fun of me"the boy cried to his mother."They say I have a big head""Dont listen to them."his mother comforted him."You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes""Wheres the shopping bag?""I havent got one,use your hat."大脑袋"所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑,"小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:"他们说我长了一个大脑袋。
""别听他们的,"他妈妈安慰说:"你的脑袋长得很漂亮。
好了,别哭了,去商店买10磅土豆来。
""购物袋在哪?""我没有购物袋,就用你的帽子吧。
"初一英语笑话小故事篇2Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?Wife: No, dear. I couldnt find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.丈夫:你给我把扣子缝好了吗,亲爱的?妻子:没有,亲爱的。
Word 文档1 / 1初一英语简单笑话故事初一英语简洁笑话故事笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。
初一英语简洁笑话故事篇二:他赢了Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
初一英语简洁笑话故事篇三:他赢了Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurthimself.Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
初一英语简洁笑话故事篇四:Which Month Did He Go Away When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldnt wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away? 杰克给人鞠躬,飞速地一点头,就算完了。
简单搞笑的英语小故事(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
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初一英语笑话带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
小编精心收集了初一英语笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!初一英语笑话带翻译篇1Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were fivelottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much foryour help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "有一次,我收到一封感谢信,是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。
信封内有五张彩票,都被刮过了,露出了数字。
“非常感谢您的帮助,”信上写道,“作为礼物,我给您买了些彩票——真遗憾,您没中奖。
”初一英语笑话带翻译篇2Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James wasparticularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbertmeticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. Jamestelephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?""Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you'reinsensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar —you should have broken the news to meslowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but Ihave called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could havesaid the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they wouldsucceed. Then when I called the third time, you couldhave told me that the fire-men have donetheir best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Thenwhen I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had beendone for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar.And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?""Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活,家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德格。
初一英语小笑话短的笑话作为民间口头创作,深受广大人民喜爱,笑话从一定程度上反映了社会现实、民族心态及价值观。
小编精心收集了初一短的英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!初一短的英语小笑话篇1The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。
他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。
”医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。
”听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。
”妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。
”初一短的英语小笑话篇2After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。
初一英语简单笑话带翻译有趣简单的英语笑话能够提高学习英语的兴趣,那么适合初一学生阅读的英语小笑话都有哪些呢?下面店铺为大家准备了初一英语简单笑话,欢迎大家阅读!初一英语简单笑话1:harry and lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.哈里与劳埃德超速行驶,一辆警车拦住了他们。
"why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道。
"our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!“我们的刹车不好,因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。
”初一英语简单笑话2:joe and fred were helping to build a house in a village. the weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. they found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.乔和佛瑞德在一个村子里帮忙盖一间房子。
天气很暖和,到处都有许多灰尘。
12点半的时候,他们觉得非常口渴,便停下来去吃午饭了。
他们找到最近的一家酒吧,走进去坐下吃他们的三明治。
good afternoon, gentlemen. what can i get you? the man behind the bar asked.下午好,先生。
七年级英语笑话带翻译导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《七年级英语笑话带翻译》的内容,具体内容:笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
我精心收集了,供大家欣赏学习!篇1Parking Expenses 停车费A bus...笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
我精心收集了,供大家欣赏学习!篇1Parking Expenses 停车费A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the banks underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checkedand found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"一个商人走进纽约一家银行询问信贷员。
七年级英语小笑话小短文民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样,是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中,以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。
下面是店铺精心收集的七年级英语小笑话小短文,希望大家喜欢!七年级英语小笑话小短文篇一I Could Do It Slower我可以干得慢一些Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?病人:拔一颗牙收费多少?Dentist: Fifty dollars.牙医:50美元。
Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?病人:只几分钟的活儿就要50美元?Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.牙医:好的,如果你喜欢的话,我可以干得慢一些。
七年级英语小笑话小短文篇二Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.“亲爱的,”丈夫对妻子说:“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。
”What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的,我很久没有买过东西回来了,所有的碗碟都是脏的,还有,我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。
”I know all that.“这些我全都知道。
”Then why did you invite a friend for supper?“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。
关于七年级英语笑话故事笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
几乎所有笑话都包含两个要点:一是笑话开头,二是笑点。
下面是店铺带来的关于七年级英语笑话故事,欢迎阅读!关于七年级英语笑话故事篇一Lawyer's Son律师的儿子The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, 律师的儿子想要继承他老爸的衣钵,so he went to law school.因此他就去读法学院。
He graduated with honors,and then went home to join his father's firm.他以优异成绩毕业,然后返家加入他老爸的公司,At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office,and said,就在他上班的第一天要结柬之际,他急忙地冲进他老爸的办公室说:"Father,father,in one day I broke the car accident case that you have been working on for ten years!"“老爸,老爸,我一天就破了你办了十年的车祸案件!”His father responded:"You idiot,our company lived on the funding of that case for ten years!"他的老爸响应说:“你这个小白痴,我们公司就是依靠那个案件的资金才生存了十年呀!”关于七年级英语笑话故事篇二A Smart Witness聪明的目击人A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.有一名车祸目击证人正在出庭作证。
关于初一简单的英语笑话运用唱歌、笑话这种形式进行初中英语教学,能够培养学生学习英语的兴趣,让他们在愉快,轻松的氛围中获得知识。
下面是店铺整理的关于初一简单的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!关于初一简单的英语笑话篇一小白兔买面包One day a little white rabbit went to a bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"一天有只小白兔来到面包店问:“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”The shopkeeper answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."老板回答:“抱歉我们没有那么多。
”"Oh, that's a pity!" said the rabbit and left, disappointed.“哦,太遗憾了。
”小白兔失望地离开了。
The second day the little white rabbit went to the bakery again and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"第二天小白兔又来到那个面包店问:“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”The shopkeeper again answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."老板仍回答:“抱歉我们没有那么多。
”"Oh, it's a pity," said the rabbit, and again left, disappointed.“哦,太遗憾了。
”小白兔又失望地离开了。
The third day the little white rabbit went again to the bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"第三天小白兔依然来到那家面包店,问:“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”"Oh, yes we have 100 buns today!" the shopkeeper answered gladly.“啊是的,今天我们有100个小面包啦!”老板高兴地回答。
初中英语幽默笑话三则“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来初中英语幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!初中英语幽默笑话1:A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain; and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband didn't know what costume she'd be wearing, she thought she'd have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn't around.She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, getting a little kiss here and a warm squeeze there. His wife went up to him and being rather seductive herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to this new babe who had just arrived.She let him do whatever he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and they did it all! Zowie! Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for hisbehavior.She was sitting up reading when he came in. She asked how the evening had been? He said "Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"He replied, "You know, I didn't dance even one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.But I'll tell you...from what I heard, the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"妻子睡了一小会儿后觉得自己好多了。
初一简短英语笑话精选民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
小编精心收集了初一简短英语笑话,供大家欣赏学习!初一简短英语笑话篇1Pig or Witch 猪还是女巫A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner,he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.英语翻译:一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车,一个女人相向驾车而来。
他们相遇时,那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到:“猪!!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道:“女巫!!”他们继续前行。
这个男的在下一个路口转弯时,撞上了路中间的一头猪。
要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
初一简短英语笑话篇2A Gentle ReminderHaving been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion.On the morning of our 35th anniversary,we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted,"Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said,"So, you want to switch seats?"【英语翻译】委婉提醒婚后已久,我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。
初一英语笑话小故事
导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《初一英语笑话小故事》的内容,具体内容:笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
我精心收集了,供大家欣赏学习!:我能得到什么?What do I get?Teac...
笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
我精心收集了,供大家欣赏学习!
:我能得到什么?
What do I get?
Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?
Tommy: Quarters.
Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?
Tommy: Hamburger.
老师:如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半,我能得到几块儿?
汤米:四块。
老师:那我要是再切两次,我能得到什么呢?
汤米:汉堡。
:早慧的小男孩
A precocious boy
A little boy was wise beyond his age. One day he came home from
the public library with a book. Its title was "The Care and Management of Children".
"Oh, my god," exclaimed his mother in astonishment. "What are you doing with a book like that?"
"Oh, " replied the precocious(早熟的)boy, "I want to see if Im being brought up properly."
一个早慧的小男孩有一天从公共图书馆回家时带回一本书,书名是《对儿童的照料和管理》。
他的母亲惊讶得大叫道:"啊,我的天哪!你要这样的书干什么呢?"
这个早慧的孩子回答说:"哦,我想看看我是否是在受到正确的教养。
":Soul Seeking At A Cemetery
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside thecemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you wont believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls." The man said, "Beat it kid, cant you see its hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, youve been tellin me the truth. Lets see if we can see the Lord."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. Thats all. Now lets go get those nuts by the fence and well be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
:Lots Wife
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lots wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!
:Good Samaritan
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.
Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think Id throw up."。