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手中纸，心中爱导语:手中纸，心中爱文 / 刘宇昆【一】我最早的记忆是我儿时的一次哭泣。
那次，不管爸爸妈妈怎么哄，我就是不搭理，一个劲儿地哭个不停。
爸爸拿我没办法，只好任由我在卧室里哭。
妈妈却把我抱进厨房，将我安置在餐桌旁坐好。
她从冰箱上抽出一张彩色包装纸，想吸引我的注意，“瞧瞧，这是什么？”每年圣诞节过后，妈妈都会将各种圣诞礼盒的包装纸小心翼翼地裁剪下来，整齐地叠放在冰箱顶部。
几年下来，包装纸积了厚厚一沓。
她拿出其中一张，正面朝下反面朝上，平整地摊在桌上，给我叠小玩意儿。
折、压、吹、卷、捏……不一会儿，这张纸就在她指尖消失不见了。
她轻轻一吹，一个被压得扁扁平平的纸模型瞬间变成了有血有肉的生灵。
“瞧！小老虎！”她边说边将手中的纸老虎放到桌上。
它个头不大，和我两个拳头加起来差不多，白色虎皮上点缀着红色糖果和绿色圣诞松。
我接过妈妈手中的小老虎。
它似猫非猫，高翘着尾巴，在我指尖左右乱窜，“嗷……”的吼叫声夹杂着纸张的窸窣声。
我既惊又喜，用食指摸摸后背，小东西连蹦带跳，发出低沉的吼叫声。
“这叫折纸。
”母亲用中文告诉我。
那时我对折纸一窍不通，但我知道妈妈的折纸术神奇无比。
只要她轻轻一吹，这些纸玩意儿便可借助她的气息活蹦乱跳起来。
这么神奇的折纸术只有她一个人会。
【二】爸爸是从一本册子里挑中妈妈的。
记得有一次，正在读高中的我向爸爸询问其中经过。
他显得很不情愿。
那是1973年的春天，爸爸想通过婚介找个对象。
于是他漫不经心地翻阅着介绍册，每一页都瞟上一眼，直到他看到妈妈照片的一刹那。
“我从未见过那种照片。
”爸爸说。
照片里，一位女子侧身坐在藤椅上，她身着丝质的紧身绿旗袍，双眸视镜，一头秀发优雅地垂在胸前，依于肩侧，孩童般的双眼透过照片，盯着爸爸。
“自从看到她的照片，我就不想再看别人的了。
”爸爸说。
册子上说，这名女子芳龄十八，爱好舞蹈，来自香港，英语流利。
但这些个人信息没一个是真的。
后来，爸爸开始给妈妈写信。
在那家婚介公司的帮助下，他们一直保持着联系。
《北京折叠》读书笔记与感悟之阶级固化阶级固化——《北京折叠》读书笔记与读后感心得体会一年一度的雨果奖在这周落下帷幕了，虽然大刘的《三体3：死神永生》并没有如愿摘下他的第二次雨果奖，但是令人可喜的消息是这次雨果奖的绝大部分奖项都被女作家包揽。
包括最佳长篇故事奖由美国黑人女作家N·K·杰米辛的作品《方尖碑之门》（The Obelisk Gate）获得，最佳中篇小说奖由美国女作家Seanan McGuire的作品《每扇心门》（Every Heart a Door Way）摘走，以及最佳中短篇小说同样由美国女作家Ursula Vernon的作品《西红柿盗贼》（The Tomato Thief）获得。
其中最佳长篇的作者N·K·杰米辛是她继去年《第五季》获雨果奖后梅开二度，实力的确不容小觑。
其实我最近几年看科幻小说并不多，只是读过前年获奖的长篇小说《三体1：地球往事》（作者刘新慈）和去年拿奖的最佳中短篇小说《北京折叠》（作者郝景芳）。
说实话，两部作品的故事都蛮有意思，尤其是《三体》系列的脑洞让人叹为观止。
但讲起文笔，这两部作品却都没有什么地方是可圈可点的。
有趣的是两部作品的英文版翻译，均来自于美籍华人刘宇昆（Ken Liu）。
看到熟悉雨果奖的读者评价，说刘宇昆的翻译版比原本的中文版从文笔上来讲是青出于蓝而胜于蓝的，而这两部作品的获奖也和刘宇昆优秀的翻译水平有很大的关系。
值得注意的是刘宇昆同时也是一名优秀的科幻文学作家。
他的作品短篇小说《手中纸，心中爱》（The Paper Menagerie）曾摘得星云奖和雨果奖两项科幻小说大奖。
他本人更是成为第一个同时摘得两个奖项的华裔作家。
去年跟风读完《北京折叠》的时候确实喜欢，也读了刘宇昆的翻译版本，也很推荐。
趁着今年的雨果奖颁奖，今天想来聊聊《北京折叠》这个故事。
如果你没有读过《北京折叠》，可以翻到文章最后，点击阅读原文。
文章不长，不到半小时就能读完。
paperman《纸人》——勇气与爱的碰撞《纸人》是一部由迈克尔·奥尔当导演，华特·迪士尼动画工作室制作的短片，于2012年在美国上映。
这部仅仅6分钟的动画短片讲述了一个办公室男子和一位神秘女子之间发生的浪漫故事。
影片以精美的黑白画面和2D动画技术呈现，诙谐又温馨，给观众带来了一段醉人的爱情旅程。
影片的主人公是一位穿着笔挺西装、戴着厚厚眼镜的年轻男子。
他坐在公共交通工具上，面容疲惫，神情呆滞。
旁边的女士似乎对他流露出一丝同情，偷偷地递给他一张纸巾。
男子连忙擦拭额头上的冷汗，却在此时将纸巾遗忘在女子的手中。
令人惊奇的是，男子的手师出无名地跟随着女子前行，如同一只活灵活现的纸人。
男子终于跟随着纸人抵达一座高楼大厦，挣开眼罩，他才发现自己已经到达了工作的地点。
门外的墙上布满了一个个名望显赫的名字牌，而他只是其中普普通通的一员。
他步履蹒跚地进入电梯，身边的纸人默默相随，似乎暗示着他每一天的生活都如同一张无聊的纸。
当电梯打开，男子走向了自己的工作岗位，继续他每一天相同的工作，像一只机械化的纸人。
然而，男子的日常生活被一位神秘的女子打破了。
女子的黑发如乌鸦般漆黑，衣着典雅，带着一股神秘的魅力。
她手中的纸飞机优雅地起航，翻滚、飞翔，最终降落在男子由于开窗通风而被吹落的文件中。
男子莫名其妙地瞄了一眼，看到了纸飞机中女子留下的手机号码。
这，成为了他每一天最期待的瞬间。
男子开始了自己的纸飞机之旅，每天都将一颗纸飞机飞向窗外，期待得到女子的回应。
这种平淡而曼妙的方式，也让他在每天忙碌的工作之余，心中充满了期待和渴望。
纸飞机成为了他勇敢追求爱情的信物，也成为了他勇往直前的动力。
一天，男子在纸飞机的回应中，终于有了女子的与他约定见面的意愿。
他充满了期望，步行前往约定的地点，禁不住为这段即将到来的相见之时而激动不已。
然而，女子忽然消失了。
男子慌乱之间看见了女子在大厦的墙壁上留下的一句话：“等我，我会回来”。
1 译者主体性性研究及概念界定二十世纪七十年代, 随着现代西方哲学的语言转向和翻译研究的“文化转向”，翻译主体性的研究在译学研究中日益突显，译者的主体性逐渐引起西方理论界的广泛关注。
法国的安托瓦钠·贝尔曼(Antione Berman)率先喊出“走向译者”的口号，并在《翻译批评论:约翰·唐》一书中指出译论批评必须以译者为主体为基发点。
操纵学派认为译者做出抉择和摆布文本的过程构成了文学翻译。
目的论认为翻译作为一种有目的的行为，为达成目的，译者会结合读者的需求以及自身的理解去制定翻译策略。
解构学派质疑传统译论中确定的观念，强调文本的不确定性（汤润梅王一州，2017）。
国内有关译者主体性的研究虽然起步相对较晚，但令人欣慰的是它也被提上了国内译学研究议程。
国内的学者对译者主体性各有其看法。
方梦之（2003）将译者主体性定义为，译者主体性亦称翻译主体性，指翻译主体（译者）在翻译活动中表现出来的本质特性，即翻译主体能动地操纵原本（客体）、转换原本，使其本质力量在翻译行为中外化的特性。
查明建、田雨（2003）认为，译者是指作为翻译主体的译者在尊重翻译对象的前提下，为实现翻译目的而在翻译活动中表现出的主观能动性。
仲伟合(2006)认为译者主体在整个翻译活动中所表现出来的主观能动性。
它体现了译者在语言操作、文化特质、艺术创造、美学标准及人文品格等方面的自觉意识，具有自主性、能动性、目的性、创造性、受动性等特点。
译者是翻译活动的策动者，带有双重身份, 既是原作的审美主体, 又是译文的创作主体, 译者对原作的理解与对译作的表达具有创造性品质, 决定了译作在译语文化中所产生的效果。
可以说翻译者或翻译理论创建者的个性或人格常常决定了翻译行为和翻译理论的走向, 而这种个性或人格正是译者介入的理据之所在（朱献珑，2009）。
综合上述理论，我们可以认为译者主体性就是作为翻译主体的译者，在尊重客观外部翻译要素和承认其自身主观认知状况的前提下，在整个翻译活动中所表现出来的主观能动性，主要体现为创造性。
《三体》英译本系列的副文本探究邓高胜,唐静（安徽信息工程学院通识教育与外国语学院，安徽芜湖241000）【摘要】副文本是原文的信息补充与意义阐述，是翻译文本中不可缺少的组成部分。
《三体》是首部获得科幻文学界国际最高奖项雨果奖的亚洲科幻作品，其成功原因值得深究。
借助热拉尔·热奈特的副文本理论，文章分析《三体》英译本系列的封面、注释、译者序、名家评论等副文本因素在其翻译、传播与接受过程中的积极作用。
以《三体》英译本系列为例，通过解读其副文本，能够发现副文本在翻译与传播过程中体现出来的译者翻译思想与赞助人的推介努力。
【关键词】《三体》；英译本；副文本；翻译研究中图分类号：I206文献标志码：A 文章编号：1673-8004（2022）04-0090-10Vol.41No.42022年7月第41卷第4期重庆文理学院学报（社会科学版）Journal of Chongqing University of Arts and Sciences （Social Sciences Edition ）Jul.2022DOI:10.19493/ki.issn1673－8004.2022.04.008收稿日期：2022-03-01基金项目：安徽省教育厅人文社会科学重点项目“改革开放以来的中国通俗小说英译研究”（SK2020A0644）。
作者简介：邓高胜（1995—），男，安徽亳州人，讲师，硕士，主要从事文学翻译、翻译理论与实践研究；唐静（1985—），女，安徽芜湖人，副教授，硕士，主要从事翻译理论与实践、英美文学研究。
一、引言《三体》是刘慈欣创作的长篇系列科幻小说，由《三体》《三体Ⅱ·黑暗森林》和《三体Ⅲ·死神永生》组成。
2006年5月，《三体》开始在《科幻世界》上连载，迅速在科幻文学界引起巨大反响，并在2008年出版单行本。
《三体》系列格局宏大、立意高远，从科幻的角度探讨人性，将科学与人文相结合［1］。
paperman英语观后感《Paperman》是一部美国迪士尼动画短片，于2012年首次发布。
它讲述了一个浪漫而温馨的爱情故事，通过精美的绘画风格和动人的音乐，展现了爱的力量和缘分的奇妙。
故事发生在上世纪40年代的纽约市，主人公是一位办公室职员。
他起床时，不小心弄脏了自己的领带，于是他来到办公室的窗边纠正自己的领带。
正在这时，他注意到窗外有一位漂亮女孩。
女孩的裙子上有一朵纸花，与男主人公手中的领带上的纸花相呼应。
男主人公被女孩的美貌深深吸引，但在女孩即将走远时，男主人公不小心将自己的纸花吹飞了。
为了与女孩有更多的接触，他决定跟在女孩的后面，纸飞机也成了他们之间的羁绊。
短片中的男主人公在班车上看到了女孩，在女孩的举动中发现她同样对自己有兴趣。
男主人公决定用纸飞机来吸引女孩的注意力，他用盡了各種办法，但都鲜有成效。
最后，在女孩即将离开的车站，男主人公竭尽全力将所有的纸飞机都扔向窗外，希望能引起女孩的注意。
女孩意识到男主人公的用心，并且在男主人公停止扔纸飞机后，她自己也做了一个纸飞机扔向男主人公。
最终，男主人公成功地引起了女孩的注意，两人在车站下车后，走在一起。
《Paperman》以其优雅细腻的艺术风格和朴实的故事情节，赢得了无数观众的喜爱。
短片的画风非常特别，融合了黑白无声片的纯净和动画片的活力。
尽管整部电影几乎是以黑白为主调，只有极少的几个瞬间是有着鲜明红色的，但观众们并不会感到乏味，反而更能体会到作者的用心和情感传递。
无声片的画面特色让观众沉浸在那个故事的年代氛围中，而音乐则是对情感的加强和表达。
电影中的音乐简单而温暖，是故事情节的最好注解之一。
除了精美的画风和音乐，短片还通过几个关键场景，展示了爱与缘分的力量。
男主人公与女主人公一开始是在办公室窗口的纸飞机相遇，随后纸飞机成为他们之间的联系纽带，可见命运的安排在其中起到了举足轻重的作用。
在电车上，男主人公不断用纸飞机吸引女主人公的注意，而女主人公则是看到了他的努力和真心。
必克英语寄语：8月20日，又到中国一年一度的情人节——七夕节，在这一个特别的日子里，是否有人愿意为你轻轻地又很坚定地跟你说一声：I do!歌词：like a paper card像一张卡片throwing in the street扔在大街上im trying to pick up我试图拿起im trying to believe我试图相信its cold outside外面很冷the door is shut门关上了this broken key这断了的钥匙is all ive got是我的一切dont you ever need i do你不需要我所做的dont you ever feel i do你感受不到我所做的dont you ever want someone to miss you你从来都不希望有人想念你cause i do因为我的所做dont you ever cry i do你从来都不让我哭dont you ever break i do你也不会打碎我dont you ever wanna love someone so much it hurts you你别想爱一个人，它会伤害你cause i do因为我的所做a salitary heart孤立的心a million miles away一百万英里的距离from your ivory tower从你的象牙塔nothing can escape没有什么会逃脱i wanna break them through我想打破它们，穿过来melt the ice融化的冰i wanna get to you我想和你一起am i losing this fight我输了这场战斗dont you ever need i do你不需要我做的dont you ever feel i do你感受不到我做的dont you ever want someone to miss you你不希望有人想念你cause i do因为我所做的dont you ever cry i do你从来都不让我哭dont you ever break i do你也不会打碎我dont you ever wanna love someone so much it hurts you你别想爱一个人，它会伤害你i know that its so much more inside you我知道你想得到更多but the walls you bulidaround your heart但你在心里建了一座墙i cant get through我不能通过what if those walls would crumble如果墙崩塌了would you run away你会逃跑would you let me in你会让我进来i need to know我需要知道dont you ever cry i do你从来都不让我哭泣dont you ever break i do你也不会打碎我dont you ever wanna love someone so much it hurts you你别想爱一个人，它会伤害你dont you ever need i do你不需要我所做的dont you ever feel i do你感受不到我所做的dont you ever want someone to miss you你不希望有人思念你cause i do因为我所做的dont you ever cry i do你从来都不让我哭泣dont you ever break i do你也不会打碎我dont you ever wanna love someone so much it hurts you你别想爱一个人，它会伤害你cause i do因为我所做的i do i do我愿意我愿意阅读完该篇文章的人还浏览过：必克英语收费标准如何免费在线英语学习。
♪ Say, it's only a paper moon♪这只是个纸月亮♪♪ Sailing over a cardboard sea♪在纸板海洋遨游♪♪ But it wouldn't be make-believe♪这并非虚假之物♪♪ If you believed in me♪只要你能相信我♪♪ Yes, it's only a canvas sky♪用帆布做的天空♪♪ Hanging over a cotton tree♪悬挂在木棉树上♪♪ But it wouldn't be make-believe♪这并非虚假之物♪♪ If you believed in me♪只要你相信我♪♪ Without your love♪没有你的爱♪♪ It's a honky-tonk parade♪一切都索然无味♪♪ Without your love♪没有你的爱♪♪ It's a melody played in a penny arcade ♪乐曲不再优美动听♪♪ It's a Barnum and Bailey world♪世界的一切一切♪♪ Just as hollow as it can be♪将变得空洞无趣♪♪ But it wouldn't be make-believe♪这并非虚假之物♪♪ If you believed in me ♪♪只要你相信我♪♪ Rock of ages, cleft for me♪山可动，地可摇♪♪ Let me hide myself in thee♪把自我托付给你♪♪ Let the water and the blood♪让清水和血液♪♪ From thy wounded side which flowed ♪曾留下的创伤♪♪ Be of sin the double cure♪所有一切罪过♪♪ Safe from wrath and make me pure ♪♪让我的灵魂圣洁♪"Judge me, oh Lord,"惩罚我吧，上帝""for I have lost in mine integrity."因为我失去了我的正直""I have trusted also in the Lord,"我虽然也相信上帝""therefore I shall not slide."但是我却这样堕落了""Examine me, oh Lord, and prove me."考察我吧，上帝，检验我""Try my reins and my heart,"用我的激♥情♥""for Thy loving kindness is before mine eyes "到来一份共鸣的爱""and I have walked in Thy truth."这样我就与真理同行""I have not sat with evil persons."没有悲伤" "也没有憎恨""Neither will I go in with dissemblers."更不会成为伪君子""I will wash mine hands"我会洗干净我的手""in innocency."变得玉洁冰清""So will I compass Thine altar, O Lord,"这样我就可以握你的手，哦，我的上帝" "that I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving "在感恩节到来的时候""and tell of all Thy wondrous works...""人们会说我的所作所为是多么伟大"Howdy.您好Loggins' funeral.罗金斯的葬礼Yes, ma'am.是的，夫人You ain't related, are ya? Related, ma'am?你不是亲戚，对吧？亲戚吗，夫人？We're looking for the child's kin. Thought I saw some resemblance. 我们正在找这个孩子的亲属我觉得你和她有点像No kin, huh?没有亲戚吗？None we know of, 'cept out in Missouri someplace.就我们所知这里没有但是密苏里是有的Missouri... Seems you got the child's jaw.密苏里… 你和这孩子的下巴很像No, ma'am, just a friend of her mama's, just passing through town. 不，夫人，我只是她妈妈的一个朋友刚好路过这里If ever a child needed a friend.孩子现在正需要朋友"...will I bless the Lord."上帝保佑我们""Amen.""阿门"Amen.阿门Amen, Essie Maye. I just know your ass is still warm.阿门，埃西‧梅亚，我知道你刚死Would you like some water, Addie?你想喝点水吗，爱狄？We'll get the child some water.我们要给孩子喝点水Bless you child, I just want to pay my respects to your mama.上帝保佑你，孩子我只是来向你妈妈致意的Well, I'm going to have to be going. It's a long way to St. Louis.我现在必须走了，去圣路易斯很远St. Louis? You mean in Missouri? Yes, ma'am.圣路易斯？是密苏里的圣路易斯吗？是的，夫人I... I sell the good book, ma'am.我…我是卖♥♥好书的，夫人Just moving through the country with the Lord's good news.带者上帝的好消息穿州过府Addie, child, don't you have your Aunt Billie living in St. Joseph? 爱狄，你不是有个叫比莉的阿姨住在圣约瑟夫吗？St. Joseph, Missouri.密苏里的圣约瑟夫It's her poor mother's sister.那是她可怜的妈妈的妹妹The child's only known relative. That so?是这个孩子已知唯一的亲戚是吗？You're driving your chariot to Missouri, sir. You could deliver this child to her kin folk. 你要驾战车去密苏里州可以顺便送这个孩子去投靠亲戚Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a chariot, Reverend.我想这应该不算是战车，牧师I'll write the women a letter tonight. Hold it, hold it.我今天晚上就给这个女人写封信等等，等等I have to think upon this, you know, uh...我要好好想一下…I mean, I may have to make a few stops along the way.这一路上我还要停很多地方I never travelled with no child before.我从没和小孩一起旅行过But you're going that way. The child's got no place to go.但你也是往那个方向的这孩子现在无处可去Well...呃…The eyes of the Lord... Expect I have no choice, do I?看在上帝的份上我没有选择，是吗？Hallelujah! God works in mysterious ways.哈里路亚！上帝又展现了神蹟Don't he now?难道不是吗？Come on, Addie. Better get your things together.走吧，爱狄，最好把你的东西也带着This nice man's going to take you to your aunt.这个好人要带你到阿姨那里How come you're taking me? Huh?你为什么要带着我？啊？How come you're taking me?你为什么要带着我？Because I'm going that way, honey.因为我刚好也走这条路，宝贝Although, I do want to make just one stop before we leave town.我真的打算离开小镇前只停一次Got a little business to take care of.但我有点小事要处理You know my mama real good? Oh, pretty good.你觉得妈妈真的很好？哦，她很好You just stay out here till I come for you.你在外面等着Don't you say a word unless I ask you to.我没开口你别说话Mr Robertson?罗伯逊先生？That's right. I'd like a minute of your time.就是我我要占用几分钟时问Not buying today. Oh, not selling.今天不买♥♥ 哦，我也不卖♥♥Just want you to meet somebody, Mr Robertson. Only take a second.只想让你见一个人，罗伯逊先生只要一点点时问So what?怎么回事？Tell him your name, honey. Addie.告诉他你的名字，宝贝？爱狄Addie what, honey? Addie Loggins.爱狄什么，宝贝？爱狄‧罗金斯You done real fine. I'll be out in a minute.你做得不错，我马上出来Ain't she a sweet child?她很可爱对吧？No, she ain't a sweet child.不，她不可爱Well, maybe she don't seem sweet right now. That's because she's sad.她现在也许不可爱，因为她很悲伤That is with her mama being dead,因为她刚死了妈妈what with your brother getting drunk and driving into that tree like that.她妈妈的死是因为你的兄弟酒醉开车撞树一样撞死她What are you trying to pull? Get out of here!你在瞎扯什么？滚出去！All right, I'm going, but let me tell you where I'm going to go.很好，我马上走但是我告诉你，我要去哪里I don't care where you're going to go.我管你去哪里I'm going to go see Mr J.T. Faraday.我准备去见J‧T‧法拉第先生Now, you know who Mr J.T. Faraday is?你知道J‧T‧法拉第是谁吗？He's one of the biggest lawyers in Kansas.他是堪萨斯州最著名的律师之一And he don't favour the man with the money, he favours the man without it.他不喜欢那些有钱人他喜欢帮助那些穷♥人♥And you know what's gonna happen to your brother?你想知道你兄弟的下场吗？There's gonna be a lawsuit against him. You know what happens then? 他会被人告上法庭，你想知道结果吗？Everything's gonna be just tied up in knots, just sitting there.他会坐在法庭上忧心忡忡That's his banking money, his house, everything he owns.因为他有存款、房♥子，还有很多财产Including half this plant.包括这座工厂的一半产权Now, don't think that poor child ain't entitled, 'cause she is.别以为这可怜的小孩没有权利因为她的确是继承人I was thinking...我在想…couple a thousand dollars would be acceptable.赔偿几千块应该是合理的Couple of thou? I'll give you 200.几千块？我只给你200$200?200美元？$200.200美元It's a deal.好吧There you are.给你That'll be, uh, $67.54.总计是67.54元You sure these tyres are new?你确定这些轮胎是新的吗？$67.54.67.54美元Now, we'll have you to St. Jo in no time.现在，我马上就送你到圣约瑟夫What time's the next train to St. Joseph?下一班去圣约瑟夫的火车是几点？St. Joseph? Let's see here.圣约瑟夫？我看看That'll be the 4:14.应该是4:14Change trains in Kansas City, and that'll put you into St. Jo at 9:52am. 在堪萨斯城转车，上午9:52到圣约瑟夫I want one child's price ticket.我要一张小孩票That will be $11.45.11.45元I want you to send this here telegram to Mrs Billie Roy Griggs,帮我发个电报给比莉‧罗伊‧格里格斯夫人Cosmo Road, St. Joseph.圣约瑟夫科斯莫路Train arriving 9:52am,火车预计上午9:52抵达and bringing love, affection and $20 cash.附上爱心、感情及20元Oh, make that $25 cash.哦，应该写25元And sign it just Addie Loggins.署名爱狄‧罗金斯Ten words, that will be 85 cents more.10个词，还要85美分That will be 12 and 30.那就是12个词，再加30美分12 and 30, huh?12个词，再加30美分Uh, you better say in that message there,那你就在上面留言吧love, affection and $20 cash.附上爱心、感情及20元Love, affection and $20 cash.附上爱心、感情及20元Now, here's your ticket, and here's $20 for your Aunt Billie.这是你的票这是你比莉阿姨的20美元Well, we got till 4:15.4:15开车I don't suppose you can wait here by yourself, can you?应该不能放你一个人等车，对吧？You hungry?饿了吗？You want a Nehi and a Coney Island?想要汽水和康尼岛热狗吗？Ain't you gonna eat it? I ain't hungry.你为什么还不吃？我不饿D'you worry about going on the train? You'll like the train. Don't worry about it.担心坐火车吗？你会喜欢，不用担心Before you know it, you'll be asleep in your aunt's house, all your troubles will be over. 不知不觉你就会睡在阿姨家所有烦恼就结束了So eat your Coney Island. She don't even know me.吃你的热狗吧她根本就不认识我She's going to know you now. She ain't gonna want me.她会认识你的她会不要我的What are you making trouble for? She ain't even seen you, yet.你在烦恼什么？她还没见过你呢She never even cared for my mama. Nobody didn't care for your mama.她根本就不关心我妈没有人不关心你妈And she was her sister. Your mama was a fine woman.而且她还是她的妹妹你妈妈是一个好女人Everybody said she weren't.大家都说她不是Well everybody don't know your mama, do they?大家都不了解你妈妈，不是吗？How good you know my mama?你就很了解我妈妈？Good enough to know you can be real proud of the happiness she give to people.我很了解她带给别人的快乐会让你感到骄傲Now, eat your Coney Island.现在吃你的热狗吧You meet my mama in a bar room?你和妈妈是在酒吧认识的吗？Where would you get a question like that?你为什么会想到这个问题？I hear Miss Ollie talking, the neighbour lady. Says one of you's my pa.我是听邻居奥莉小姐说的说你们其中可能是我的爸爸Well, don't the world have a wild imagination?怎么会有这么疯狂的想法？Eat your Coney Island.快吃你的热狗You my pa?你是我爸吗？Of course I ain't your pa.当然不是I'll get you some relish.我给你加点佐料A Coney Island ain't no good without relish.热狗不加佐料一点也不好吃Look, I know how you feel. I lost my ma, too. I even lost my pa.听着，我知道你的感受我也失去了我妈，我还失去了爸爸I don't even know where my sister is.我甚至不知道我的姐姐在哪里I wish I could tell you I'm your pa, but it just ain't like that.我也希望我能说我是，但事实不是You met her in a bar room.你和她在酒吧认识的Just because a man meets a woman in a bar room don't mean he's your pa. 和你妈在酒吧认识的男人不代表就是你♥爸♥Eat your Coney Island.快吃热狗Well, then, if you ain't my pa, I want my $200.如果你不是我爸，把200块钱还我What's that?你说什么？I want my $200.我要我的200块钱I heard you through the door talking to that man.我听见你们的对话了It's my money you got, and I want it.你拿的是我的钱，我要拿回来Now, you... you just hold on a second.你…你等一下I want my money. You took my $200!我要我的钱！你拿走了我的200块钱！Will you quiet down, you hear? I want my $200!你可以小声一点吗？我要我的200块钱！Hold on, now, just hold on.等等，等一下Let me explain something to you.让我跟你解释一下It ain't as if you was my pa. That'd be different.这不是找爸爸的事，这是两码事Well, I ain't your pa, so just get that out of your head.我不是你♥爸♥，你也别这样想I don't care what those neighbour ladies said.我不在乎邻居是怎么说的I look like that. You don't look nothing like me.我看你像你一点也不像我You don't look any more like me than you do that Coney Island.你像热狗比像我还多Eat that damn thing, you hear?吃你的热狗吧We got the same jaw. Lots of people got the same jaw.我们的下巴相同很多人的下巴相同It's possible. No, no, it ain't possible.所以你可能是我爸不，不，不可能的Then I want my $200! All right!我要我的200元好啦！All right, maybe we got the same jaw, but same jaw don't mean same blood.好吧，或许我们的下巴是一样的但不代表我们有血缘关系I know a woman looks like a bullfrog, but that don't mean she's its mother.我认识一个女人长得像牛蛙但不代表她是牛蛙的妈You met my mum in a bar room. For God's sakes, child!你和妈妈在酒吧认识的我的天啊，小鬼！You think everybody gets met in a bar room gets a baby?你以为每一对在酒吧认识的男女都会生小孩吗？It's possible.有可能Anything is possible, but possible don't make it true.任何事情都有可能，但不等于事实Then I want my money!那我要我的钱！Will you quiet down?你就不能安静点吗？You know what the trouble is with you? You got no appreciation.你知道你的问题吗？就是你不知感恩All right.好吧Maybe I did get a little money from that man, and you're entitled to that,也许我是从那个人手上拿到了一些属于你的钱but I'm entitled to my share for getting it for you, ain't I?但是我也可以主张我的酬劳，对吧？And where do you think you'd be without me?如果没有我，你将身在何处？You think them folks would spend a penny to send you east? No, sir.你觉得那些人会花钱送你去东部吗？不可能But who got you a ticket to St. Jo? Who got you a Nehi and a Coney Island?是谁帮你买♥♥火车票？谁给你买♥♥汽水和热狗？And threw in $20 extra,还有20块钱的零花not to mention 85 cents for that telegram.更别说那85分的电报费了You wouldn't have had any of that without me.如果没有我，你将一无所有Now, I didn't have to take you, but I took you, didn't I?我根本没必要带着你但我却这么做了，不是吗？All right, I think that's fair enough.好了，我觉得这样够公平了We're both a little better off.我们都得到了好处You get to St. Jo, I get myself a little better car.你可以去圣约瑟夫我可以买♥♥一辆好一点的车Fair is fair.公平得很Now, drink your Nehi, and eat your Coney Island.喝你的汽水，吃你的热狗I want my $200.我要我的200块钱I don't have your $200 no more, and you know it.你明知道我已经没有200块钱了If you don't give me my $200, I'm going to tell a policeman how you got it, 假如你不给我200块钱我就告诉警♥察♥and he'll make you give it to me, 'cause it's mine.他会让你还给我的因为那本来就是我的But I don't have it.但是我没有200元Then get it.去想办法啊How we doing, Angel Pie?怎么回事，甜心？We going to have a little dessert when we finish up our hot dog?是不是吃完热狗之后，想来点甜点？I don't know.我不知道What do you say, Daddy?你在说什么，爸爸？Why don't we get Precious a little dessert if she eats her dog?为什么不让宝贝吃完热狗后来一些甜点？Her name ain't Precious.她不叫宝贝I want my money back on this here ticket, and I want you to send this here telegram. 我要退票，还要发这封电报Trip delayed, but I'm coming real soon!又被耽搁了，我真的要快一点了！You just lie down in the seat and be quiet.你给我坐在这里安静点Folks don't take to children when they're doing business.大人说话小孩不准插嘴Yes? Good afternoon, ma'am.什么事？下午好，夫人Is Mr Rudolf Morgan at home, please? Mr Morgan?鲁道夫‧摩根先生在家吗？摩根先生？Yes, ma'am. My name is Pray, Moses Pray,是的，夫人我叫普雷（意同祈祷），摩西‧普雷Kansas Bible Company. He'll know.堪萨斯圣经公♥司♥，他知道的Oh, I'm sorry. Mr Morgan has passed on.哦，对不起摩根先生已经过世了Oh, ma'am, I'm... I just...哦，夫人，我…我现在…I don't know what to say.我不知道该怎么说Uh, what was it you were seeing him about?啊，你是不是来看望他的？Well, he ordered this here bible from... Bible?哦，他定了这本圣经… 圣经？Rudolph ordered a bible?鲁道夫定了一本圣经？Yeah, he ordered this here deluxe edition with the lady's name in the corner.是的，他定了这本精♥装♥版送给角落这个姓名的女士Lady's name?女士的名字是？Oh, I expect some special gift for a family friend.哦，我希望这是给家属的特别礼物But under the circumstances,但以现在的情况I'll just give you back Mr Morgan's dollar deposit,我应该要退还摩根先生的定金and there won't be no further obligation.这样双方就没事了Ma'am, I just don't know how to put into words the sense of sorrow that I feel. 夫人，我无法用言语来表达我的哀伤What, what... what name is in the corner?边角上是…是谁的名字？I don't really know what name Mr Morgan had put in the corner, ma'am.我也不确定摩根先生放的是谁的名字，夫人Let's see, now.我们看看It's here somewhere. I've got it. Uh...好像在这里，我看见了…Here it is.就是这里Pearl... Pearl.珀尔… 珀尔I'm Pearl.我就是珀尔Well, he must have got this here good book for you, ma'am.那他定下这本书一定是送给你的，夫人Yes. Yes, he bought it for me.没错，一定是他买♥♥来送我的Of course, now, you're not obliged to take it.当然是给您的，但是你没有必要付款Of course I'll take it.我当然要付款There's just one thing. You see, I...只是有个问题…I told him that I could sell him a cheaper bible,我告诉他可以买♥♥便宜一点的but no, naturally he wanted the best, the best, of course, being the deluxe edition 但是他坚持要最好的当然就是精♥装♥版的with the lady's name printed in child-in-the-manger gold letters.然后印上了您的名字用金字标出的Oh, he would.他一定会的Bringing a balance due of, uh... $8.00? $8.00.还要付…8美元？8美元$8.00?8美元？Well, that's, uh, $8.00 minus the dollar deposit,哦，减去定金还有7美元making it $7.00.Um, I'll go get my purse.啊，我去拿钱Well, you're not obliged to take it, now. Of course I'm obliged!哦，您不必付款的我必须付款！He ordered the deluxe!他定下的是精♥装♥版！'But cold or no cold, it's good to be back in old Manhattan.（管它冷不冷回到曼哈顿感觉还是很好的）'Well, tell me, Jack, you've been in town now since Thursday.（告诉我，杰克，你星期四就进城了）'What have you been doing with yourself?' 'Oh, I've had a lot of fun, Don. （你一个人都作些什么？）（哦，我做了很多有趣的事情，丹）'I saw some shows, went to a couple of nightclubs,（我看了表演，去了夜♥总♥会♥）'and last night, I was invited over to Fred Allen's apartment for dinner.' （昨天晚上，福瑞德‧艾伦还请我晚餐）'Oh, Fred Allen, eh?' 'Yeah, he and I are pretty good friends now.'（哦，福瑞德‧艾伦，是吗？）（是的，我们已经是好朋友了）'Well, I'm glad to hear it. Has Fred got a nice apartment?'（哦，我很高兴听到你这样说福瑞德的住处漂亮吗？）'Oh, how could I tell, Don,（哦，丹，我该怎么形容呢）'with all that laundry hanging in the living room?'（客厅晒满衣服吗？）Ain't you gonna go to sleep?你还不想睡觉吗？Don't you want to hear Jack Benny?你不听杰克‧班尼的节目吗？No.不想'I don't want to sound catty...'（我不想变得油嘴滑舌…）You're too young to smoke. You're going to set this whole place on fire. 你还太小不能抽烟，你会害这里烧起来I now owe you $103.72.现在我只欠你103.72美元了Seventy-four.是103.74美元Frank D. Roosevelt said we're all feeling a lot better.弗兰克‧D‧罗斯福（美国总统）说我们现在好过多了他真的这么说？Made me feel good when he said that. Better than I've felt in a long time.他这么说让我感觉真好比我过去的感觉还好Bet old Frank sure does wish he was 21.我打赌那老家伙一定希望回到年轻的时候You don't like me, do you?你不喜欢我，是吗？No, I don't like you.不，我不喜欢你Yes?有事吗？Afternoon, ma'am. I was wondering if Mr Bates might be at home.夫人，下午好，贝茨先生是否在家Mr Bates is dead. He died over a week ago.贝茨先生过世了他死了有一个多星期了Oh, you mean he passed over, ma'am?夫人，你是说他去世了吗？Why, I was just talking to him not less than a month ago.怎么会？一个多月前我还和他谈过What was it you wanted? Well...你找他有事吗？呃…My name is Pray, Kansas Bible Company.我叫普雷，堪萨斯圣经公♥司♥的I'm just here to deliver this bible that Mr Bates ordered.我来这里递送贝茨定购的圣经Bible?圣经吗？Who is it? What's the trouble?谁呀？有什么问题吗？Something about Benjamin buying a bible.关于班杰明买♥♥了圣经的事情Bible? What kind of bible?圣经？什么圣经？He said he talked to Benjamin, less than a month ago.他说至少一个月以前就和班杰明谈过Well, I'm... I'm not exactly sure of the dates, ma'am.我…我不确定日期，女士Well, I don't see how.我看不见得Benjamin didn't go nowheres near that shop for more than a month before he died.班杰明这一个多月来除了小店外，没去过别的地方Well, I may be a little mixed up on the dates.我可能搞错日期了What company you say you're from?你说你是什么公♥司♥？The Kansas Bible Company, out of Wichita.堪萨斯圣经公♥司♥，在维奇塔Kansas Bible Company?堪萨斯圣经公♥司♥？I ain't never heard of no Kansas Bible Company.我从未听说这家公♥司♥Daddy...爸爸…Can't we go now? I want to get to church and pray for Mama.我们可以走了吗？我想去教堂为妈妈祈祷Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure we can, honey.哦，当然，我们当然能去，宝贝Daddy was just fixin' to leave.爸爸准备要走了This here is my little girl. It's just the two of us now.这是我的小女儿，现在就我们两个人My Mama's gone to the Lord. Oh, so has poor Mr Bates, honey.我妈妈去了天堂可怜的贝茨先生也是，亲爱的I'll just, uh, give you back his dollar deposit,我只是…想把他的定金退还and you let us know if there's anything we can do.还想知道，是否有效劳的地方Hold on, there. Wait one damn minute.你等等，一分钟就好He actually done ordered a bible, huh?他真的定了一本圣经吗？Uh, he sure did. Here it is, right here in gold for somebody named "Marie". 他确实定过… 书上印着金色字，叫做"玛丽"的人That's her. She's Marie. Oh, she sure did mean a lot to him.她就是玛丽对他而言一定意义非凡He especially had me get the deluxe edition.他特别定一本精♥装♥版的How much to keep this here book? Oh, well, that one is the...这本书多少钱？哦，那本书是…It's the $12 one, Daddy.12块钱一本，爸爸$12? $12?12块吗？ 12块吗？Uh, yeah, well, honey, we have to have a little goodness in our hearts,是的…好…宝贝我们要有一点点…仁慈之心I mean, considering the circumstances. Never mind the circumstances.我是说以现在的情况不用担心现在情况And if it'll make that woman happy, I'll take it.如果能让那女士开心，我就买♥♥了（副警长）You owe me $85.74.你还欠我85.74块'I mean, we're going to Washington on the QT.（我是说我们要秘密去华盛顿）'Molly, she says we can't go on the QT, we've got to take the Pennsylvania.（莫利，她说我们不能秘密去我们要去宾夕法尼亚州）'Hey, I'd better get going.（嘿，我最好出发）'Hey, Molly, where's my suitcase? Do you know?'（嘿，莫利，我的手提箱呢？你知道吗？）'Uh, I'm sure I don't know, McGee. You had it last night.'（喂，我确实不知道，莫吉昨晚你拿了）'Oh, I know where it is. It's right here in the hall...'（哦，我知道在哪里，就在大厅里）He's going to open the closet!他要去开衣柜了！Now he's going to say how he's got to straighten the closet out!现在他要说，他必须弄直这个衣柜了！'Got to straighten out that closet one of these days.'（又得花一天的时间弄直衣柜了）How'd you like to do a little business with me?你想和我做点小生意吗？You mean instead of paying me back?你不想还我钱了吗？Now, don't get nervous. I'll pay you back.好了，别紧张，我会还你的I'm just saying, while we're heading east, how'd you like to do a little business together? 我的意思是，这一路上你想和我做点小生意吗？Well, you're looking at me like I'm out to cheat you or something.你看我的样子好像我想骗你一样I am offering you a business proposition. Take it or leave it.我在提供你一个商业建议要不要随你And turn off that radio! You're like to drive us all deaf with that radio.把收音机关了！'...in an average way, of course.'你想害我们变成聋子吗？OK, I want you to remember one thing:好，你要记住一件事I decide on the price.价钱由我来定Maybe you don't know French, but there's something in this world called "fine-esse". 你大概不懂法语但这世界上还有些东西叫"精品"$12! I never sold no bible for $12.12块！我从来没有卖♥♥过12块钱的圣经That man was a law officer. You could've had me put me in jail.那人是个执法者，你有可能害我坐牢We got it, didn't we?我们拿到钱了，不是吗？I don't care if we got it. Don't you go making the decisions.我不在乎是否拿到了钱你不能做决定I make the decisions. All you got to do is look like a pretty little girl.我来做决定你只要做一个漂亮小女孩就好了You ain't got something like a ribbon in that cigar box, do you?你的雪茄盒里面有没有丝带之类的？I got my mum's kimono in my suitcase, Chinamen with umbrellas.皮箱里只有我妈的和服和撑伞的中国人That ain't quite what I had in mind.和我想的不一样You look real nice in that ribbon.你绑着丝带真漂亮First off, I didn't know was she a boy or a girl?我看不出来她是男生还是女生？I'm a girl.我是女生Well, it makes all the difference.好，绑上丝带就看出来了Ain't she got a sweet little face, somehow.不知何故，她还是没有甜美的小脸Well, seeing how I just got paid today, we'll take a ribbon in each colour.好，看看我要付多少每种颜色的丝带都要一条How much that going to set me back?我要付多少钱？Well, that'll be 15 cents.全部15分钱Bought my grandchildren ribbons just like this last holiday time.这好像上次假期时帮我孙子买♥♥丝带一样Grandchildren? I don't believe it.孙子？我不相信You break a five? Well, you can believe it, all right.我有五块可以找零吗？你要相信，好了吧I'm just as old as I look.我看起来就这么老Well, now, here you be.来，找给你That's one, two, three, four, five.一、二、三、四、五This old wallet of mine is about to bust its sides.我这个老皮夹快爆出来了I'll give you five ones back, you give me that $5 bill.我给你这五张，换回一张五块纸钞How many grandchildren you got altogether?你一共有多少孙子？Well, I got two little granddaughters, a nine-year-old, a ten-year-old,我有两个小孙女一个9岁，一个10岁two grandsons near 16,两个孙子快16岁了and I got a grandson 35 years old.我还有个孙子35岁了Come on, you're pulling my leg.你在说笑吧Why don't you just give me a $10 bill? Here's the $5, and five ones, there. 我给你五块和这五张换一张十块的好吗？That way I won't be so quick to see it break apart.这样我的皮夹就不会爆了Six children, huh? My, my, my... I've got a daughter, 51.六个孩子吗？天啊… 我有个女儿51岁了Oh, now, I don't mean to be handing you no line,我不是故意夸张的说but that's just pretty hard to believe you got a 51-year-old child.但很难相信你的孩子已经51岁了You can believe it, all right.你可以相信，好吧Well, I'm afraid I'd have to see it to believe it. Much obliged.恐怕只能眼见为凭了，多谢See you again. Y'all come back!下次见欢迎惠顾！That just don't seem quite right... somehow.好像…有点不对Yes?是吗？I'm looking for Mr Stanley, ma'am.我找斯坦利先生，夫人Mr Stanley's dead.斯坦利先生死了Oh, well, I'm looking for Mr Warren M. Stanley, ma'am.我是说沃伦‧M‧斯坦利先生，夫人Warren's passed on, sir.先生，沃伦去世了Oh, that's hard to believe.哦，难以相信I was just talking to Warren not more than two weeks back. 我跟沃伦说过不要两星期我就会回来He ordered this here bible from me.他从我这里定了一本圣经Warren spent money on a bible?沃伦花钱买♥♥了一本圣经吗？Yes, ma'am, with the name Elvira in the corner.是的，夫人，他定了一本印着"艾薇拉"的圣经Why would Warren spend money on a bible?沃伦为什么要花钱买♥♥一本圣经呢？He took fast to the idea, ma'am.夫人，他走的太快了Only thing is, he left a balance due of,还没付清尾款well, let's see, not counting the dollar deposit...好，我算算，扣除定金…Daddy, this one's already paid for.爸爸，这个人已经付了钱Huh?是吗？Mr Stanley paid for the whole thing, don't you remember? 斯坦利先生付清了全部的钱你不记得吗？Afternoon, ma'am. Mr Huff at home?下午好，夫人，哈佛先生在家吗？Mr Huff passed away, young man, a week ago.哈佛先生一个星期以前去世了，小伙子。
手中纸心中爱原作：Kun Liu （美国，母亲是中国人）《手中纸、心中爱》讲述在美国的中国移民一代与移民二代的文化冲突，以及因为叛逆和顿感而错过深沉母爱的故事。
本文获得2012雨果奖最佳短片。
我最早的记忆是我儿时的一次哭泣，那次，不管爸爸妈妈怎么哄，我就是不搭理，一个劲儿地哭个不停。
爸爸拿我没办法，只好任由我在卧室里哭，妈妈却把我抱进厨房，将我安置在餐桌旁坐好。
她从冰箱上抽出一张彩色包装纸，想吸引我的注意，“瞧瞧，这是什么？”每年圣诞节过后，妈妈都会将各种圣诞礼盒的包装纸小心翼翼地裁剪下来，整齐地叠放在冰箱顶部，几年下来，包装纸积了厚厚一沓。
她拿出其中一张，正面朝下反面朝上，平整地摊在桌上，给我叠小玩意儿。
折、压、吹、卷、捏……不一会儿，这张纸就在她指尖消失不见了。
她轻轻一吹，一个被压得扁扁平平的纸模型瞬间变成了有血有肉的生灵。
“瞧！小老虎！”她边说边将手中的纸老虎放到桌上，它个头不大，和我两个拳头加起来差不多，白色虎皮上点缀着红色糖果和绿色圣诞松。
我接过妈妈手中的小老虎，它似猫非猫，高翘着尾巴，在我指尖左右乱窜，“嗷……”的吼叫声夹杂着纸张的窸窣声。
我既惊又喜，用食指摸摸后背，小东西连蹦带跳，发出低沉的吼叫声。
“这叫折纸。
”母亲用中文告诉我。
那时我对折纸一窍不通，但我知道妈妈的折纸术神奇无比。
只要她轻轻一吹，这些纸玩意儿便可借助她的气息活蹦乱跳起来，这么神奇的折纸术只有她一个人会。
爸爸是从一本册子里挑中妈妈的，记得有一次，正在读高中的我向爸爸询问其中经过，他显得很不情愿。
那是1973年的春天，爸爸想通过婚介找个对象。
于是他漫不经心地翻阅着介绍册，每一页都瞟上一眼，直到他看到妈妈照片的一刹那。
“我从未见过那种照片。
”爸爸说。
照片里，一位女子侧身坐在藤椅上，她身着丝质的紧身绿旗袍，双眸视镜，一头秀发优雅地垂在胸前，依于肩侧，孩童般的双眼透过照片，盯着爸爸。
“自从看到她的照片，我就不想再看别人的了。
The Paper Menagerie (Best Short Story, 2012 Hugo Award)One of my earliest memories starts with me sobbing. I refused to be soothed no matter what Mom and Dad tried.Dad gave up and left the bedroom, but Mom took me into the kitchen and sat me down at the breakfast table.“Kan, kan,” she said, as she pulled a sheet of wrapping paper from on top of the fridge. For years, Mom carefully sliced open the wrappings around Christmas gifts and saved them on top of the fridge in a thick stack.She set the paper down, plain side facing up, and began to fold it. I stopped crying and watched her, curious.She turned the paper over and folded it again. She pleated, packed, tucked, rolled, and twisted until the paper disappeared between her cupped hands. Then she lifted the folded-up paper packet to her mouth and blew into it, like a balloon.“Kan,” she said. “Laohu.” She put her hands down on the table and let go.A little paper tiger stood on the table, the size of two fists placed together. The skin of the tiger was the pattern on the wrapping paper, white background with red candy canes and green Christmas trees.I reached out to Mom’s creation. Its tail twitched, and it pounced playfully at my finger. “Rawrr-sa,” it growled, the sound somewhere between a cat an d rustling newspapers.I laughed, startled, and stroked its back with an index finger. The paper tiger vibrated under my finger, purring.“Zhe jiao zhezhi,” Mom said. This is called origami.I didn’t know this at the time, but Mom’s kind was special. Sh e breathed into them so that they shared her breath, and thus moved with her life. This was her magic.Dad had picked Mom out of a catalog.One time, when I was in high school, I asked Dad about the details. He was trying to get me to speak to Mom again.He had signed up for the introduction service back in the spring of 1973. Flipping through the pages steadily, he had spent no more than a few seconds on each page until he saw the picture of Mom.I’ve never seen this picture. Dad described it: Mom was sitting in a chair, her side to the camera, wearing a tight green silk cheongsam. Her head was turned to the camera so that her long black hair was draped artfully over her chest and shoulder. She looked out at him with the eyes of a calm child.“That was the last page of the catalog I saw,” he said.The catalog said she was eighteen, loved to dance, and spoke good English because she was from Hong Kong. None of these facts turned out to be true.He wrote to her, and the company passed their messages back and forth. Finally, he flew to Hong Kong to meet her.“The people at the company had been writing her responses. She didn’t know any English other than ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’”What kind of woman puts herself into a catalog so that she can be bought? The high school me thought I knew so much about everything. Contempt felt good, like wine.Instead of storming into the office to demand his money back, he paid a waitress at the hotel restaurant to translate for them.“She would look at me, her eyes halfw ay between scared and hopeful, while I spoke. And when the girl began translating what I said, she’d start to smile slowly.”He flew back to Connecticut and began to apply for the papers for her to come to him. I was born a year later, in the Year of the Tiger.At my request, Mom also made a goat, a deer, and a water buffalo out of wrapping paper. They would run around the living room while Laohu chased after them, growling. When he caught them he would press down until the air went out of them and they became just flat, folded-up pieces of paper. I would then have to blow into them to re-inflate them so they could run around some more.Sometimes, the animals got into trouble. Once, the water buffalo jumped into a dish of soy sauce on the table at dinner. (He wanted to wallow, like a real water buffalo.) I picked him out quickly but the capillary action had already pulled the dark liquid high up into his legs. The sauce-softened legs would not hold him up, and he collapsed onto the table. I dried him out in the sun, but his legs became crooked after that, and he ran around with a limp. Mom eventually wrapped his legs in saran wrap so that he could wallow to his heart’s content (just not in soy sauce).Also, Laohu liked to pounce at sparrows when he and I played in the backyard. But one time, a cornered bird struck back in desperation and tore his ear. He whimpered and winced as I held him and Mom patched his ear together with tape. He avoided birds after that.And then one day, I saw a TV documentary about sharks and asked Mom for one of my own. She made the shark, but he flapped about on the table unhappily. I filled the sink with water, and put him in. He swam around and around happily. However, after a while he became soggy and translucent, and slowly sank to the bottom, the folds coming undone. I reached in to rescue him, and all I ended up with was a wet piece of paper.Laohu put his front paws together at the edge of the sink and rested his head on them. Ears drooping, he made a low growl in his throat that made me feel guilty.Mom made a new shark for me, this time out of tin foil. The shark lived happily in a large goldfish bowl. Laohu and I liked to sit next to the bowl to watch the tin foil shark chasing the goldfish, Laohu sticking his face up against the bowl on the other side so that I saw his eyes, magnified to the size of coffee cups, staring at me from across the bowl.When I was ten, we moved to a new house across town. Two of the women neighbors came by to welcome us. Dad served them drinks and then apologized for having to run off to the utility company to straighten out the prior owner’s bills. “Make yourselves at home. My wife doesn’t speak much English, so don’t think she’s being rude for not talking to you.”While I read in the dining room, Mom unpacked in the kitchen. The neighbors conversed in the living room, not trying to be particularly quiet.“He seems like a normal enough man. Why did he do that?”“Something about the mixing never seems right. The child looks unfinished. Slant y eyes, white face. A little monster.”“Do you think he can speak English?”The women hushed. After a while they came into the dining room.“Hello there! What’s your name?”“Jack,” I said.“That doesn’t sound very Chinesey.”Mom came into the dining room then. She smiled at the women. The three of them stood in a triangle around me, smiling and nodding at each other, with nothing to say, until Dad came back.Mark, one of the neighborhood boys, came over with his Star Wars action figures. Obi-Wan Keno bi’s lightsaber lit up and he could swing his arms and say, in a tinny voice, “Use the Force!” I didn’t think the figure looked much like the real Obi-Wan at all.Together, we watched him repeat this performance five times on the coffee table. “Can he do anything else?” I asked.Mark was annoyed by my question. “Look at all the details,” he said.I looked at the details. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say.Mark was disappointed by my response. “Show me your toys.”I didn’t have any toys except my paper menagerie. I brought Laohu out from my bedroom. By then he was very worn, patched all over with tape and glue, evidence of the years of repairs Mom and I had done on him. He was no longer as nimble and sure-footed as before. I sat him down on the coffee table. I could hear the skittering steps of the other animals behind in the hallway, timidly peeking into the living room.“Xiao laohu,” I said, and stopped. I switched to English. “This is Tiger.” Cautiously, Laohu strode up and purred at Mark, sniffing his hands.Mark examined the Christmas-wrap pattern of Laohu’s skin. “That doesn’t look like a tiger at all. Your Mom makes toys for you from trash?”I had never thought of Laohu as trash. But looking at him now, he was really just a piece of wrapping paper.Mark pushed Obi-Wan’s head again. The lightsaber flashed; he moved his arms up and down. “Use the Force!”Laohu turned and pounced, knocking the plastic figure off the table. It hit the floor and broke, and Obi-Wan’s head rolled under the couch. “Rawwww,” Laohu laughed. I joined him.Mark punched me, hard. “This was very expensive! You can’t even find it in the stores now. It probably cost more than what your dad paid for your mom!”I stumbled and fell to the floor. Laohu growled and leapt at Mark’s face.Mark screamed, more out of fear and surprise than pain. Laohu was only made of paper, after all.Mark grabbed Laohu and his snarl was choked off as Mark crumpled him in his hand and tore him in half. He balled up the two pieces of paper and threw them at me. “Here’s your stupid cheap Chinese garbage.”After Mark left, I spent a long time trying, without success, to tape together the pieces, smooth out the paper, and follow the creases to refold Laohu. Slowly, the other animals came into the livingroom and gathered around us, me and the torn wrapping paper that used to be Laohu.My fight with Mark didn’t end there. Mark was popular at school. I never want to think again about the two weeks that followed.I came home that Friday at the end o f the two weeks. “Xuexiao hao ma?” Mom asked. I said nothing and went to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror. I look nothing like her, nothing.At dinner I asked Dad, “Do I have a chink face?”Dad put down his chopsticks. Even though I had never told him what happened in school, he seemed to understand. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, you don’t.”Mom looked at Dad, not understanding. She looked back at me. “Sha jiao chink?”“English,” I said. “Speak English.”She tried. “What happen?”I pushed the chopsticks and the bowl before me away: stir-fried green peppers with five-spice beef. “We should eat American food.”Dad tried to reason. “A lot of families cook Chinese sometimes.”“We are not other families.” I looked at him. Other families don’t have moms who don’t belong.He looked away. And then he put a hand on Mom’s shoulder. “I’ll get you a cookbook.”Mom turned to me. “Bu haochi?”“English,” I said, raising my voice. “Speak English.”Mom reached out to touch my for ehead, feeling for my temperature. “Fashao la?”I brushed her hand away. “I’m fine. Speak English!” I was shouting.“Speak English to him,” Dad said to Mom. “You knew this was going to happen some day. What did you expect?”Mom dropped her hands to her side. She sat, looking from Dad to me, and back to Dad again. She tried to speak, stopped, and tried again, and stopped again.“You have to,” Dad said. “I’ve been too easy on you. Jack needs to fit in.”Mom looked at him. “If I say ‘love,’ I feel here.” She pointed to her lips. “If I say ‘ai,‘ I feel here.” She put her hand over her heart.Dad shook his head. “You are in America.”Mom hunched down in her seat, looking like the water buffalo when Laohu used to pounce on him and squeeze the air of life out of him.“And I want some real toys.”Dad bought me a full set of Star Wars action figures. I gave the Obi-Wan Kenobi to Mark.I packed the paper menagerie in a large shoebox and put it under the bed.The next morning, the animals had escaped and took over their old favorite spots in my room. I caught them all and put them back into the shoebox, taping the lid shut. But the animals made so much noise in the box that I finally shoved it into the corner of the attic as far away from my room as possible.If Mom spoke to me in Chinese, I refused to answer her. After a while, she tried to use more English. But her accent and broken sentences embarrassed me. I tried to correct her. Eventually, she stopped speaking altogether if I were around.Mom began to mime things if she needed to let me know something. She tried to hug me the way she saw American mothers did on TV. I thought her movements exaggerated, uncertain, ridiculous, graceless. She saw that I was annoyed, and stopped.“You shouldn’t treat your mother that way,” Dad said. But he couldn’t look me in the eyes as he said it. Deep in his heart, he must have realized that it was a mistake to have tried to take a Chinese peasant girl and expect her to fit in the suburbs of Connecticut.Mom learned to cook American style. I played video games and studied French.Every once in a while, I would see her at the kitchen table studying the plain side of a sheet of wrapping paper. Later a new paper animal would appear on my nightstand and try to cuddle up to me. I caught them, squeezed them until the air went out of them, and then stuffed them away in the box in the attic.Mom finally stopped making the animals when I was in high school. By then her English was much better, but I was already at that age when I wasn’t interested in what she had to say whatever language she used.Sometimes, when I came home and saw her tiny body busily moving about in the kitchen, singing a song in Chinese to herself, it was hard for me to believe that she gave birth to me. We hadnothing in common. She might as well be from the moon. I would hurry on to my room, where I could continue my all-American pursuit of happiness.Dad and I stood, one on each side of Mom, lying on the hospital bed. She was not yet even forty, but she looked much older.For years she had refused to go to the doctor for the pain inside her that she said was no big deal. By the time an ambulance finally carried her in, the cancer had spread far beyond the limits of surgery.My mind was not in the room. It was the middle of the on-campus recruiting season, and I was focused on resumes, transcripts, and strategically constructed interview schedules. I schemed about how to lie to the corporate recruiters most effectively so that they’ll offer to buy me. I understood intellectually that it was terrible to think about this while your mother lay dying. But that understanding didn’t mean I could change how I felt.She was conscious. Dad held her left hand with both of his own. He leaned down to kiss her forehead. He seemed weak and old in a way that startled me. I realized that I knew almost as little about Dad as I did about Mom.Mom smiled at him. “I’m fine.”She turned to me, still smiling. “I know you have to go back to school.” Her voice was very weak and it was difficult to hear her over the hum of the machines hooked up to her. “Go. Don’t worry about me. This is not a big deal. Just do well in school.”I reached out to touch her hand, because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I was relieved. I was already thinking about the flight back, and the bright California sunshine.She whispered something to Dad. He nodded and left the room.“Jack, if—” she was caught up in a fit of coughing, and could not speak for some time. “If I don’t make it, don’t be too sad and hurt your health. Focus on your life. Just keep that box you have in the attic with you, and every year, at Qingming, just take it out and think about me. I’ll be with you always.”Qingming was the Chinese Festival for the Dead. When I was very young, Mom used to write a letter onQingming to her dead parents back in China, telling them the good news about the past year of her life in America. She would read the letter out loud to me, and if I made a comment about something, she would write it down in the letter too. Then she would fold the letter into a paper crane, and release it, facing west. We would then watch, as the crane flapped its crisp wings on its long journey west, towards the Pacific, towards China, towards the graves of Mom’s f amily.It had been many years since I last did that with her.“I don’t know anything about the Chinese calendar,” I said. “Just rest, Mom. ”“Just keep the box with you and open it once in a while. Just open—” she began to cough again.“It’s okay, Mom.” I stroked her arm awkwardly.“Haizi, mama ai ni—” Her cough took over again. An image from years ago flashed into my memory: Mom saying ai and then putting her hand over her heart.“Alright, Mom. Stop talking.”Dad came back, and I said that I needed to get to the airport early because I didn’t want to miss my flight.She died when my plane was somewhere over Nevada.Dad aged rapidly after Mom died. The house was too big for him and had to be sold. My girlfriend Susan and I went to help him pack and clean the place.Susan found the shoebox in the attic. The paper menagerie, hidden in the uninsulated darkness of the attic for so long, had become brittle and the bright wrapping paper patterns had faded.“I’ve never seen origami like this,” Susan said.“Your Mom was an amazing artist.”The paper animals did not move. Perhaps whatever magic had animated them stopped when Mom died. Or perhaps I had only imagined that these paper constructions were once alive. The memory of children could not be trusted.It was the first weekend in April, two years after Mom’s death. Susan was out of town on one of her endless trips as a management consultant and I was home, lazily flipping through the TV channels.I paused at a documentary about sharks. Suddenly I saw, in my mind, Mom’s hands, as they folded and refolded tin foil to make a shark for me, while Laohu and I watched.A rustle. I looked up and saw that a ball of wrapping paper and torn tape was on the floor next to the bookshelf. I walked over to pick it up for the trash.The ball of paper shifted, unfurled itself, and I saw that it was Laohu, who I hadn’t thought about in a very long time. “Rawrr-sa.” Mom must have put him back together after I had given up.He was smaller than I remembered. Or maybe it was just that back then my fists were smaller.Susan had put the paper animals around our apartment as decoration. She probably left Laohu in a pretty hidden corner because he looked so shabby.I sat down on the floor, and reached out a finger. Laohu’s tai l twitched, and he pounced playfully. I laughed, stroking his back. Laohu purred under my hand.“How’ve you been, old buddy?”Laohu stopped playing. He got up, jumped with feline grace into my lap, and proceeded to unfold himself.In my lap was a square of creased wrapping paper, the plain side up. It was filled with dense Chinese characters. I had never learned to read Chinese, but I knew the characters for son, and they were at the top, where you’d expect them in a letter addressed to you, written in Mom’s awkward, childish handwriting.I went to the computer to check the Internet. Today was Qingming.I took the letter with me downtown, where I knew the Chinese tour buses stopped. I stopped every tourist, asking, “Nin hui du zhongwen ma?” Can you read Chinese? I hadn’t spoken Chinese in so long that I wasn’t sure if they understood.A young woman agreed to help. We sat down on a bench together, and she read the letter to me aloud. The language that I had tried to forget for years came back, and I felt the words sinking into me, through my skin, through my bones, until they squeezed tight around my heart.Son,We haven’t talked in a long time. You are so angry when I try to touch you that I’m afraid. And I think maybe this pain I feel all the time now is something serious.So I decided to write to you. I’m going to write in the paper animals I made for you that you used to like so much.The animals will stop moving when I stop breathing. But if I write to you with all my heart,I’ll leave a little of myself behind on this paper, in these words. Then, if you think of me on Qingming, when the spirits of the departed are allowed to visit their families, you’ll make the parts of myself I leave behind come alive too. The creatures I made for you will again leap and run and pounce, and maybe you’ll get to see these words then.Because I have to write with all my heart, I need to write to you in Chinese.All this time I still haven’t told you the story of my life. When you were little, I always thought I’d tell you the story when you were older, so you could understand. But somehowthat chance never came up.I was born in 1957, in Sigulu Village, Hebei Province. Your grandparents were both from very poor peasant families with few relatives. Only a few years after I was born, the Great Famines struck China, during which thirty million people died. The first memory I have was waking up to see my mother eating dirt so that she could fill her belly and leave the last bit of flour for me.Things got better after that. Sigulu is famous for its zhezhi papercraft, and my mother taught me how to make paper animals and give them life. This was practical magic in the life of the village. We made paper birds to chase grasshoppers away from the fields, and paper tigers t o keep away the mice. For Chinese New Year my friends and I made red paper dragons. I’ll never forget the sight of all those little dragons zooming across the sky overhead, holding up strings of exploding firecrackers to scare away all the bad memories of the past year. You would have loved it.Then came the Cultural Revolution in 1966. Neighbor turned on neighbor, and brother against brother. Someone remembered that my mother’s brother, my uncle, had left for Hong Kong back in 1946, and became a merchant there. Having a relative in Hong Kong meant we were spies and enemies of the people, and we had to be struggled against in every way. Your poor grandmother —she couldn’t take the abuse and threw herself down a well. Then some boys with hunting muskets dragged your grandfather away one day into the woods, and he never came back.There I was, a ten-year-old orphan. The only relative I had in the world was my uncle in Hong Kong. I snuck away one night and climbed onto a freight train going south.Down in Guangdong Province a few days later, some men caught me stealing food from a field. When they heard that I was trying to get to Hong Kong, they laughed. “It’s your lucky day. Our trade is to bring girls to Hong Kong.”They hid me in the bottom of a truck along with other girls, and smuggled us across the border.We were taken to a basement and told to stand up and look healthy and intelligent for the buyers. Families paid the warehouse a fee and came by to look us over and select one of us to “adopt.”The Chin family picked me to take care of their two boys. I got up every morning at four to prepare breakfast. I fed and bathed the boys. I shopped for food. I did the laundry and swept the floors. I followed the boys around and did their bidding. At night I was locked into a cupboard in the kitchen to sleep. If I was slow or did anything wrong I was beaten. If the boys did anything wrong I was beaten. If I was caught trying to learn English I was beaten.“Why do you want to learn English?” Mr. Chin asked. “You want to go to the police? We’ll tell the police that you are a mainlander illegally in Hong Kong. They’d love to have you in their prison.”Six years I lived like this. One day, an old woman who sold fish to me in the morning market pulled me aside.“I know girls like you. How old are you now, sixteen? One day, the man who owns you will get drunk, and he’ll look at you and pull you to him and you can’t stop him. The wife will find out, and then you will think you really have gone to hell. You have to get out of this life.I know someone who can help.”She told me about American men who wanted Asian wives. If I can cook, clean, and take care of my American husband, he’ll give me a good life. It was the only hope I had. And that was how I got into the catalog with all those lies and met your father. It is not a very romantic story, but it is my story.In the suburbs of Connecticut, I was lonely. Your father was kind and gentle with me, and I was very grateful to him. But no one understood me, and I understood nothing.But then you were born! I was so happy when I looked into your face and saw shades of my mother, my father, and myself. I had lost my entire family, all of Sigulu, everything I ever knew and loved. But there you were, and your face was proof that they were real. I hadn’t made them up.Now I had someone to talk to. I would teach you my language, and we could together remake a small piece of everything that I loved and lost. When you said your first words to me, in Chinese that had the same accent as my mother and me, I cried for hours. When I made the first zhezhi animals for you, and you laughed, I felt there were no worries in the world.You grew up a little, and now you could even help your father and I talk to each other. I was really at home now. I finally found a good life. I wished my parents could be here, so that I could cook for them, and give them a good life too. But my parents were no longer around. You know what the Chinese think is the saddest feeling in the world? It’s for a ch ild to finally grow the desire to take care of his parents, only to realize that they were long gone.Son, I know that you do not like your Chinese eyes, which are my eyes. I know that you do not like your Chinese hair, which is my hair. But can you understand how much joy your very existence brought to me? And can you understand how it felt when you stopped talking to me and won’t let me talk to you in Chinese? I felt I was losing everything all over again.Why won’t you talk to me, son? The pain makes it hard to write.The young woman handed the paper back to me. I could not bear to look into her face.Without looking up, I asked for her help in tracing out the character for ai on the paper below Mom’s letter. I wrote the character again and again on the paper, intertwining my pen strokes with her words.The young woman reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. Then she got up and left, leaving me alone with my mother.Following the creases, I refolded the paper back into Laohu. I cradled him in the crook of my arm, and as he purred, we began the walk home.。
