破产姐妹第一季第一集台词打印版图文稿

破产姐妹经典台词集锦《破产姐妹》(英语：2 Broke Girls)，是由美国CBS电视台于2011年9月19日首播的情景喜剧，制作公司为华纳兄弟电视。

本剧档期最初是于星期一晚上九时半，跟随着《好汉两个半立即搜索》(Two and a Half Men)的档期。

其后改至八时半，跟随《老爸老妈的浪漫史》(How I Met Your Mother)之后。

同年10月5日，CBS预订了整季的.《破产姐妹》，预计将有22或24集。

在最近第38届美国民选奖(People's Choice Awards)上，《破产姐妹》嬴得了最受欢迎电视新喜剧(Favorite New TV Comedy)。

1 、你做蛋糕，我有商科背景，咱俩等于成功。

2 、你的纹身是想气死你爹，我爹压根不知他是我爹。

3 、我只能拿几样东西走，可我全拿了没用的东西。

4 、树倒猴孙散，墙倒众人推。

5 、舍不得银子上不着妞呀。

6 、姑娘很努力哟，比霍金戴袖口还卖力。

7 、我怕我要是写下来，它会成为我的自杀遗言。

8 、骗光整座城的人是你老爸——他只跟我们说今年生意挺好。

9 、给多少小费是我的自由。

在你食物里吐口水也是我的自由。

10 、你还有个院子，感觉是放松吸毒两相宜的好地方。

11 、那块污渍，其实是男人精华。

12 、好吧，看在八块腹肌的份上，给你八分钟。

13 、姐戴帽子挡酷寒，二货带帽学酷玩。

14 、谁二十多岁的时候不是穷的，人人都有要逃避的事情，你选择躲进冷藏室，我选择视而不见和用酒精麻痹。

15 、不骗你哟，地铁比你家沙发干净。

16 、你睡觉时，枕头底下还藏把刀啊。

这是我唯一付得起的家庭安保项目，况且没事也能割割腕咯。

17 、你还有个院子，感觉是放松吸毒两相宜的好地方。

Hi,ready to order?准备好点餐了吗Do you have anything that's really special?你们有什么特色[菜]说来听听Not according to my high school guidance counselor.我高中辅导员说我没有特色I'll have the veggie plate.那我要个蔬菜拼盘But instead of beets,I want kale.不要甜菜换甘蓝And instead of broccoli,more kale.不要花椰菜再放点甘蓝I want the veggies steamed.蔬菜要用蒸的And instead of dressing,I want lemons.色拉调料改用柠檬代替Don't you need to write this down?你怎么还不动笔记下来啊I'm afraid if I start writing that down,现在只有心情写遗书it'll turn into a suicide note.因为要被烦死了I'm assuming this table's gonna have a lot more of those requests.我猜你们都会这么点餐吧Yes,I could tell by the hats.没错看你们那帽就知道是事儿精Earl,I have something new I want you to try.厄尔我有新东西想你尝尝That's the exact same sentence正是因为这句话that got me hooked on cocaine in the'80s.我才会在几十年前染上吸毒的恶习It's my new cupcake flavor.我说的是蛋糕的新口味啦Delicious dark chocolate the ladies can't help but love.女人无法抗拒的美味黑巧克力口味I'm calling it"The Earl."我把它称为"黑伯爵厄尔"I know you got that right.说得好Hi,I'm here.我来了I was running late so I decided to hail a cab.本来我以为要迟到了想说打个的吧And then I remembered I didn't have any money on me.然后才想起我没带钱And then I remembered I didn't have any money at all.接着意识到我现在是两袖清风的穷光蛋So I walked the whole way here.所以我不辞辛苦地走来上班The apartment's three blocks away.我家到这里才隔三条街Yes,I know.我知道Three blocks and15"hola chicas"away.三条街外加十五声"哟呵妹子"那么远Well,you can't be late again.你不能再迟到了I'm already worried about me being late...我够烦我每个月迟到的...every month.大姨妈了On my way here,a homeless man asked me for money.在我来的路上一位无家可归的流浪汉向我讨钱And I told him that I usually always give,我跟他说通常我都会慷慨解囊but that my father was indicted in a Ponzi scandal但我的父亲因为非法敛财而被起诉了and I've lost my family fortune and my Manhattan townhouse,我们家产没了曼哈顿豪宅也没了so I've been sleeping on a couch in Brooklyn,but,还得在布鲁克林区朋友家的沙发过夜in spite of it all,I'm still optimistic尽管世事无常但我还是对于that you and I will achieve success开小蛋糕店持乐观态度in our exciting new cupcake business venture.并坚信未来将会取得成功And look what he gave me!瞧看他给了我啥You took money from a homeless man?你连流浪汉的钱都拐啊I prefer to think of Bob near the bridge as our first investor.应该说是桥边的鲍勃入股投资才对Pickup!Special sandwich.上菜特制三明治I can think of even more special sandwich.我还想到一种更妙的三明治You,me and the hot blonde giraffe.你我金发长颈鹿夹一起Well,she recently lost her dignity,她破产后尊严全没了so you might have a shot.搞不好她会愿意屈就Hello today!今天好啊I have nametag for you.我给你做了个名牌Only your second day and look,nametag already.你才来第二天我就给你备好名牌了As new owner,I am killing it.这新东家当的太牛逼了Thank you.谢谢Oh,it says"Carolin."上面写的是"卡洛淋"It's Caroline.With an"E".我叫卡洛"琳"是"王"字旁I'm Caroline.我叫卡洛琳As new owner,I am sucking it.这新东家当的太二逼了Just put it on.你就挂着就是了You can't tell an Asian he made a mistake.不能告诉亚洲人他犯了错误He'll go in the back and throw himself on a sword.不然等会他就去拔剑自刎了Thank you,Mr.Lee.谢谢你李老板You may call me Han.你可以叫我憨H-a-n.勇"敢"的"心"No trap in my name.好记不会错I'm thinking we should take我在想我们可以迈出the first step in our new cupcake business我们蛋糕事业的第一步了by writing"Max's Homemade Cupcakes"就在优惠餐板上up on the specials board.写上"麦克斯自制蛋糕"吧No,I can't have my name up there.不行姐的大名不能张扬Everyone I owe money to thinks I live in Seattle.我的债主们都以为我住在西雅图呢Oh,we used to own Seattle.哎以前西雅图是我家的呢Max,we've got to get the name out there.麦克斯你的名字一定得亮相Create a buzz.制造名气嘛Ooh,good idea!好棒好棒Let's create a buzz.赶紧开始名气大作战Exactly,in order to launch--没错要想打开市场I'm mocking you.我是在模仿你那傻样儿When in doubt,I'm always mocking you.以后别怀疑我向来都是在嘲笑你Seriously,Max.说真的麦克斯This new cupcake business is our lifeline.这个蛋糕事业是我们的救生索A way out for both of us.能助我们走上脱贫致富的道路呀And I wanna thank you again for letting me move in.我还想再次感谢你让我搬进你家住If there's anything I can do to help you--如果有任何事我能帮得上忙的You mean besides starting to wait on tables?是指除了招待客人以外的忙吗I meant,anything I can do to help you我是说任何能帮你平复through your breakup with Robbie.和罗比分手的难过心情的事Oh.Thanks,but I'm fine.谢了我没事And we're working.而且现在是我们工作时间Well,one of us is.你不干活我还干呢Are you sure you're fine?你确定你没事吗'Cause I heard you crying last night.昨晚我听见你在哭I don't cry.我才不哭I sold my tear ducts to an organ bank for cash two years ago.早在两年前我就把泪腺拿去器官银行卖钱了I was on the couch.当时我躺在沙发上And I heard you crying alone in your bedroom.听到你在卧室里独自啜泣Really?What did the crying sound like?真的吗那哭声听起来像啥样Like...像这样...I wasn't crying.我不是在哭Well,then what were you d--那你是在干嘛...Oh!So none of my business.哎哟那事我管不着That's right.正确-And remember that.-Got it.-麻烦记住这点-收到In fact,let's just say that anything having to do事实上任何有关于with my bedroom,my tables,or my life--我卧室我桌子或我生活的事you should stay away from.你最好都别多管闲事Boundaries.Got it.界限明白And please don't tell anyone at work而且千万不要告诉任何同事I let you move into my apartment.我让你搬进我家住That is one boundary we both don't want crossed.一说出去后果难以想象Why?为什么Hey,roomies.嗨同居"蜜"友That's why.懂了吧Hope those sheets are okay.希望你能睡得惯这床单Oh,don't worry about it.不用担心I know they're the best you could afford.我知道你就只能买这么好的了Not really.The good ones are on my bed.其实不是更好的我自己用着呢Max,that oven is so hot.麦克斯烤箱太热了Could you do me a favor and open the back door?你能帮我开开后门吗We've known each other two days我们才认识两天and you're already asking for back door?你就想开我"后庭"啊Dear God!上帝呀I forgot you're Equestrian Barbie.我忘了你是骑师芭比You came with a horse.买芭比还附赠马一只No.不行Out,horse,bad!Bad horse.出去小马不乖哦大坏马Chestnut.栗宝No need to yell,he's a champion.没必要嚷它它可是冠军马Champion stink bomb.米田共臭度也是冠军It's smelling pretty ripe out in that yard.整个院子臭味四溢That's not Chestnut,that's Brooklyn.这不关栗宝的事布鲁克林本来就这味儿Okay,well,I'm watching"The Champion"好吧我现在就看见"冠军马"drop some steaming hot"Brooklyn"right now.拉出几坨热气腾腾的"布鲁克林"呢Max,I've been thinking about how you completely overreacted麦克斯对于把名字写在板子上这件事to your name up on the specials board.我觉得你有点反应过大了Do you think it's a fear of success?你觉得那是对成功的恐惧吗I am too poor to have a fear of success.我穷到恐惧不起成功At Wharton Business School,we learned我在沃顿商学院学过that every new venture can bring up a certain amount of fear.但凡创业都会伴随着一定的恐惧Is there any way to do a yelp review of Wharton Business School?我能去Yelp网上给沃顿点个差评之类的吗Maybe you're having a hard time imagining或许因为没人相信过你和你的梦想this cupcake business could ever even happen所以你才无法想象because nobody ever believed in you or your dreams.这个蛋糕事业会有实现的一天I'm guessing.我瞎猜的I can make this happen,Max.我能帮你美梦成真麦克斯For me,for you,for us.为了我为了你为了我们Just keep making those amazing cupcakes.你就接着烘焙超好吃的小蛋糕And I'll do the rest till you believe.其他我来做做到你相信为止I believe everything you just said我"相信"你说的每一句话and that children are the future.我也"相信"孩子是未来的主人翁Max,it's me!麦克斯是我I know it's you.我知道是你You sleep with a knife under your pillow?你睡觉时枕头底下还藏把刀啊It's the only home security system I can afford.这是我唯一付得起的家庭安保项目And I'm a cutter.而且割腕儿童欢乐多嘛I can't sleep on that couch.那沙发我睡不了I think Ikea might be the Scandinavian word for sciatica.我想"宜家"是脊椎"移架"的意思吧And there's weird sounds in the street.而且大街上有奇怪的声音And I don't have my white noise machine.我也没带助眠白噪音机Well,that's Puerto Rican noise.只是波多黎各街头艺人在瞎吹奏嘛You'll get used to it.你听听就会习惯Can I just lay down here and get a little sleep?我能躺在这睡一会儿吗I don't even let the men I sleep with sleep with me.我的男人都不准在这睡I can't get into your issues right now.你的心里毛病我现在没力医I just need to sleep!我只是想睡觉Fine,get in then.好吧钻进来吧What is that?这是什么Potato chips.I sleep-eat.薯片我边睡边吃Cool ranch and bacon?清凉牧场培根味Dude,they're delicious.拜托好吃到做梦也会笑Because of your breakup with Robbie?跟人分手就得自暴自弃吗Just get in.少废话快上来I have to be in the city to babysit in five hours.我五个小时后得去市里给人看孩子呢Oh,great,you're like a nightlight.天啊你就像盏灯You're so blonde.金发亮得真晃眼Thank you.多谢夸奖Max,someone's in the living room.麦克斯有人进了客厅Max,someone's in the bedroom!麦克斯有人进了卧室Robbie!罗比What's up,babe?怎么了宝贝Robbie,what are you doing here?罗比你来这儿干嘛We broke up.我们已经分手了Still?还分着啊Yes,still.You hit on me.没错还分着你调戏我And then she caught you with someone else然后她还发现你和别人in these very sheets.在这张床上滚床单Which I'm hoping she washed.希望你洗过这床单了Oh,I get it.我懂了You blew me off'cause you like the ladies.你跟我分手是因为你喜欢女人Which is cool.I like the ladies,too.没关系我也喜欢女人And right now,it's the two ladies I like.而现在床上的两个女人我都喜欢Robbie,if I were gonna go lesbian,罗比如果我要玩百合情she would be the last"les"I'd"bian."她是我最不可能"合"的那位Listen,babe--听我说宝贝You really hurt her.你伤她很深Stop.闭嘴She sleep-eats trans fats thanks to you.都是你弄的她边睡边吃垃圾食品Here,stuff all of these in your mouth.给把这些都塞进你嘴巴里Got it,your thing.I'll be quiet.收到你的事我闭嘴就是了Robbie,this isn't cool at all.罗比这样是不对的Showing up here after what you did?你都做出那种事了怎么还有脸回来You go,girl.说得好姐妹I have something to say to you and you had better listen.我说的话你最好给我听清楚What are you,the relationship ghost?你这算什么恋情背后灵吗Robbie,just go!罗比你走吧I can't say what I need to in front of the relationship ghost.在恋情背后灵面前事请不好谈I'll call you to come get your stuff我会打电话叫你来拿东西and we can talk then.到时候再谈吧Leave the key.把钥匙留下Straight up,Max,you're breaking my heart.坦白说麦克斯你伤了我的心You're the only woman that I feel this way about.你是我唯一深爱的女人Here.给Ladies,I don't know what's going on here,女士们我不知道你们俩在搞啥but it would've been a lot sexier if I was in it.要是有我一定更高潮迭起Are you okay?你没事吧If you wanna talk,I'm here.如果你想倾诉我就在这儿Can I get a hit off that?我能尝一口吗You think these are good?你觉得这就算好吃吗God,we're poor.天啊我们真穷Morning!早安It's a beautiful day.真是美好的一天These shades belong down.这些帘子的职责就是遮挡阳光From now on,think of me as a vampire从现在开始把我当作without all the annoying marketing.不用看我行销的吸血鬼Bad news.坏消息A pipe broke in the street so the water's off.这街的水管坏了所以今天断水Good news,when I went out to get us two coffees,好消息是我出去给咱俩买咖啡时I spoke to Juan and Javier,two city workers.两个市政工人胡安和哈维尔告诉我And they assured me the water'll be on no later than3:00.最晚下午三点就会恢复供水I also stopped at the health food store我还去健康食品店and got us a fresh-squeezed juice to split.给咱俩买了一杯鲜榨果汁来分着喝It's ginger-apple-strawberry.是生姜苹果草莓味的哦That was the name of the hooker这屋子上一位租客的who had this apartment before me.卖淫艺名就是这个What is this?这是什么From me.我给你的It says"Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed last night."上面写道谢谢昨晚让我睡你的床I prefer my usual cash on the bedside table.在我床头柜上留点钱我会更喜欢When I went to the cute coffee place,我在那家可爱的咖啡店时I spoke to the counter girl,Nabulangi--我跟柜台的女孩娜不浪鸡聊了会儿If someone named Nabulangi is making an appearance听以名叫娜不浪鸡的人开场的事情in the first sentence,I have to sit down.请容我坐好再听And she said her manager'll be in at11:00.她说她的经理十一点会来店里So I thought I'd chanel it up,所以我想我得换上香奈儿walk on over there,然后美美地走到那儿introduce myself and your fabulous cupcakes.介绍自己和你美味的小蛋糕That's exactly what I was gonna do.我"真"的有打算这么做呢I'm just gonna go say good-bye to Chestnut and get going.我去跟栗宝道个别就走You know,having only one cute outfit跟你说哦只有一件见得人的衣服takes hours off getting dressed.省了好几个小时的挑衣时间呢Oh.That is a lot of fresh Brooklyn.哇外面好多新出炉的"布鲁克林"Morning,Chestnut.早安栗宝It's a beautiful--今天真是美好的...No.Way.不会吧Look,Chanel Number Two.哇屎奈儿Tell me it's mud.告诉我这是泥T-tell me it's mud.快告诉我这是泥It's mud?不是屎吗What is that?这是什么A carrot?胡萝卜吗There's carrots in the mud?泥里怎么会有胡萝卜There's no water.没水Oh,get it off me,please.帮我弄掉拜托Please do something.帮帮我Just get it off me,get it off me.快帮我弄掉帮我弄干净Stop!住手This is dry-clean only.这衣服只能干洗Max,please,please take me somewhere they have a hot shower,麦克斯拜托带我去洗个热水澡吧I beg of you.我求您了Calm down,it's just mud.冷静不过是泥而已Max,please--麦克斯求你了Don't touch me!别碰我Thank you so much for taking me to shower你带我来你兼职的地方洗澡at your babysitting job.我感激不尽Well,I didn't have much of a choice.我也是被逼无奈You pulled the pillow knife on me.你都拿枕头刀来威胁我了I'll just introduce myself to your boss我会向主人介绍自己and tell her what happened.并说明情况Look,I don't want Peach to know you were here.我不想让琵琪知道我带你过来This is a job.Not a meet-and-greet.这是工作不是什么见面会Got it.明白You get in there,you take a five-minute shower,我带你进去给你五分钟时间洗澡clean it up and go.整理干净就马上走人Fine,I'll hide in the hallway till she's gone.好我先躲走廊等她走了再进去No need,just follow me in.没必要跟着我进来就行She never really looks at me.她从来不正眼看我Morning!早安Hi,Max.早啊麦克斯Go!快去Hey,Peach.琵琪Uh,hair and makeup.梳妆打扮What's the big occasion?要出席什么场合吗Pilates.去练普拉提Max,good news.麦克斯好消息They found a way to make diamonds more sparkly?人们发明了能让钻石更闪耀的方法吗I got Brad and Angelina a playdate我帮布莱德和安洁莉娜找到玩伴了with another set of twins in the building.是楼里的另一对双胞胎It starts in five minutes.五分钟后见面Cool,what are their names?不错他们叫什么6B.六楼B座Bye-bye,Brangelina.再见布莱洁莉娜Mommy loves you.妈咪爱你们Guys?Before you leave,伙计们走之前stop at this one.顺便帮整整这个Angelina could use a little help.帮安洁莉娜整一下Contour that neck,she's a fatty.拿粉修修脖子吧她太肥了Peach,come on,that's baby fat.琵琪拜托婴儿肥很正常吧Still,kids can be cruel.可人家的孩子也是会以貌取人的呀Don't you listen to your mommy,Angelina.别听你妈咪瞎说安洁莉娜She never eats.她自己老不吃东西Oh,no,she doesn't.对啊她自己不吃东西Here it is.做好了Caroline with an"E."有"王"字旁的卡洛"琳"I have your new and correct nametag.我帮你重新做了一个正确的名牌Oh,thank you,Han.谢谢你憨I've seen something I should not have.哎呀看到了不该看的东西I will just put correct nametag here on counter.我把正确的名牌放在柜台了So sorry,but many thank yous.对不起但是谢谢你的"美好" What are you doing?你这是在干嘛I know you said you don't want it up there.我知道你不想被写上去But now that you see it...但现在亲眼看见成品了How does it feel?感觉如何It feels like you're not listening to me感觉就是你不听话at this job or at my other job.去哪都不听我话I said a five-minute shower and get out.我说给你五分钟洗完就快闪Did you take a nap at Peach's?你还在琵琪家睡了一觉The thread count was calling to me.是高档柔软的寝具勾引我Peach found blonde hairs in her bed琵琪在她床上发现金发and thought her husband was cheating on her.还以为她丈夫搞外遇呢Which he is,but that's not the point.他是有乱搞没错但这不重要You almost ruined a perfectly happy fake marriage,你差点毁了人家貌合神离的婚姻and there are innocent children involved.而且还可能导致无辜孩子受罪Well,I have some good news.我有个好消息Look,it's Nabulangi.瞧那是娜不浪鸡I invited her in to taste your amazing cupcakes.我邀她来品尝你美味的小蛋糕And when she loves them,we'll have an in at her bakery.只要她喜欢我们就能进驻她的面包房了-Come over and say hello.-No,I can't now.-过去跟她打声招呼吧-不行我现在没空I wanna call Robbie before we get too busy.我要在忙得抽不开身前打电话给罗比Tell him when to come over and get his stuff.告诉他什么时候过来拿东西Max,wait.麦克斯等等No,don't distract me.别别打扰我I wanna sound cool and hot and all like,我想让声音听起来冷酷又性感"You can't have me anymore,sucka."以后姐的身心你都得不到啦蠢蛋"Max--麦克斯Robbie,it's me.罗比是我Classy burp on your outgoing message.录留言信息还打嗝就你这么恶心Max,I--麦克斯我No.别吵I need you to come get your stuff tomorrow.我想你明天过来拿东西I don't know how you've been surviving少了单杠和香体喷雾的日子without your chin-up bar and Axe body spray.想必是度日如年吧Max,hang up.麦克斯挂了吧I already called him.我打给他过了You called Robbie?你打给罗比了啊You've done so much for me.你为我做了这么多I wanted to do something for you,too.我也想帮你做点事So I called Robbie and I had him come over,所以我打电话给罗比让他过来and I gave him his stuff.把东西都还给他了Now you won't have to go through with all that mess.这样省得再勾起你的伤心事And I think you'd be pleased,I really let him have it.而且我还帮你教训了他一顿开心吧What is with you and boundaries?你搞毛啊说好的界限呢You're in my bed,you're in my boss'bed,你不但挤上我的床还睡了我老板的床and now you go and call Robbie?现在你又擅自打电话给罗比You're like--you're like your big-ass horse.你就像你就像你那头大屁股的马一样Charging in everywhere you don't belong.在别人的地盘肆意妄为I thought I was doing you a favor.我以为是在帮你个忙嘛In spite of what you say about the sounds I heard那晚从你卧室传出的声音coming from your bedroom the other night,尽管你不愿意承认I know you're upset.我还是知道你很难过I was masturbating.姐当时在自慰I love my job.我爱死我的工作了I need to see you outside.Now.我们出去谈快Don't get involved with her.不要跟她扯上关系She takes money from the homeless.她连流浪汉的钱都拿Not true,Bob's an investor.不是这样的鲍勃是投资者Be right back.马上回来Good cupcake,right?小蛋糕不错对吧Max,I don't know how smart that was,麦克斯有理智的人是绝对不会blowing by our only potential business contact.把我们唯一的潜在商业伙伴吓走You stole my breakup scene.你把我的分手场景偷走了The only remotely good thing about breaking up with a guy跟男人分手仅有的乐趣就是is telling him how much better you are than him在还他东西的时候告诉他when you give him back his stuff.自己比他好个上千万倍I don't know if you noticed,我不知道你有没有注意到but my entertainment budget is pretty low我的娱乐预算超级有限and I was really looking forward to that.所以我可是相当期待这一幕And then you went and stole it.结果半路杀出个卡洛琳But I guess you couldn't help it,但我猜你是情不自禁'cause that's what you channings do,you steal things.你们钱宁家都是一路货色偷东西的惯犯Interesting.有意思Okay,you wanted a breakup scene?好吧你这么想要分手场景You're in one.我现在还一个给你I'm breaking up with you.我要跟你分手Oh,okay.好啊The cupcake business is over,the dream is dead.蛋糕事业终止梦想已死Oh,I'm sure Nabulangi will be devastated.我肯定娜不浪鸡会很震惊的I don't need you or your cupcakes to survive.我不需要靠你或你的蛋糕来生存I'll figure something else out.我会找到别的出路的Because,aside from your constant Wharton putdowns,因为除了老被你瞧不起的沃顿学位I'm a business genius我还是个商业天才and I will always land on my feet.我一定会逢凶化吉的Oh,really?真的吗'Cause today you kind of landed on your front.今早你还丰胸化屎呢We're done.我们玩完了After work tonight,I'll get my things and be gone.今晚工作结束后我会打包走人的Ooh,you gonna load up your dream-filled wheelie bag你要拖着你满载梦想的小拖轮箱and ride away on Sir muds-a-lot?骑着屎粑粑爵士离开了吗Go ahead.Be as negative as you want.尽管嘲笑我吧想多消极就多消极'Cause you're in charge of your own future again.你的未来你自己看着办吧Oh,joke's on you.I don't have a future.白痴我穷得没未来Max...麦克斯Are you up?你醒着吗No.不Max,are you mad?麦克斯你生气啦Yes.是Are you up and mad?你醒着生气呢No and yes.不是Oh,your bed's so soft.你的床好软啊That's my boob.那是我的胸I know I moved out,but I came back.我是搬走了但我又回来了I took the rest of our dead dream money我把咱们死去梦想的余钱拿走了and bought some cocktails for myself and some people.然后买了几杯鸡尾酒给自己和其他人And myself.和自己Did you bring me back any of those?那你有外带给我吗'Cause I can't listen to this sober.不先喝醉我听不下你念叨Max...麦克斯I have nothing.我一无所有I really need the cupcake business.我真的很需要这个蛋糕事业I can be different.我会改的No,you can't.不你不会No,I can't.嗯我不会But I can be better.但我可以进步一点Please?求你了Please,let's do this.求你了咱们放手去做吧I know you have a fear of success.我知道你对成功有恐惧You do,because no one ever believed in your dreams.你之所以这样是因为没人相信你的梦想But I believe in your dreams.但我相信We have a dream.我们有个梦想God,you are so drunk.天啊你好醉So you probably won't even remember this.所以你估计不会记得这段话I'm sorry I said that stuff about your father.抱歉我这么说你父亲Did you hear me?你听见了吗Max,are you up?麦克斯你醒着呢吗Hey,do you have any more of those poor people chips?你还有那个穷人吃的薯片吗What's up,Hangover three?起床啦宿醉第三集Why are these up?为什么把帘子拉起来I thought we were vampires.我们不是吸血鬼吗Here,I took the rest of last night's cupcake money,给我拿昨晚卖小蛋糕的余钱and brought you a coffee and a fresh juice.给你买了一杯咖啡和一杯鲜榨果汁Which means that,after two days in business,也就是说做了两天生意we are$23down from where we were.我们还亏了二十三块钱So we're still building our cupcake business?所以我们还继续进行我们的小蛋糕事业吗Sure.当然All we need is how much?我们一共只需要多钱来着$250,000.二十五万Which is awesome.真是高"贵"的梦想啊Max,I'm sorry I crossed all those boundaries.麦克斯抱歉我多管闲事了It's cool.没关系Me and drunk Caroline worked it all out.我已经和醉鬼卡洛琳协调好了In fact...事实上She signed this paper.她还签了这份协议"I,drunk Caroline,am a..."我醉鬼卡洛琳是What's that word?这是什么词Punk ass ho.臭显摆骚货Thanks.谢谢"I,drunk Caroline,am a punk ass ho.我醉鬼卡洛琳是个臭显摆骚货I promise to keep my big mouth shut,我保证以后不多嘴"and replace all of Max's poor people chips.并帮麦克斯补回吃掉的穷人薯片I will no longer meddle in her relation-chips."我以后再也不干预她的恋"青"You laughed about that until you threw up.在你狂吐之前曾对此大笑不已Oh,and if you're wondering,我猜你心中可能有疑问no,the puke stains will not void this contract.请放心呕吐污渍不会让这份合同失效God!天啊I forgot again that we have a horse.我又忘了我们还有匹马Max,get him out of here.麦克斯快把他弄出去He doesn't know I'm a waitress.他还不知道我是个服务生Chestnut.栗宝He is a champion.他果然是匹冠军马He learned that a lot faster than you did.学东西比你快多了真有慧根。

电视剧《破产姐妹》经典台词盘点电视剧《破产姐妹》经典台词盘点Well, good night, ladies. Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.晚安女士们早睡早起身体好不睡小心被虫咬And I remember time in New York when that was more cute than accurate.想当年在纽约这话只是哄小孩的现在不睡可真的会被咬- Good night, Earl. - Good night.- 晚安 Earl - 晚安Oh, I’ve come across a 6 dollar inaccuracy in tonight’s total.我刚刚发现今晚总营业额少了六块You must go over all checks again.你要再查一遍全部的小票Oh , I’m just on my way home.哦但是我要回家了But it's not 2 am.但现在还没到两点I hate to play the heavy but you must sit down and go over checks again.我讨厌总唱白脸但你必须坐下重新检查一遍Oh, I’m 75 years old.我已经75岁了I don’t even have enough time to wipe twice.我都没有足够的时间来擦两次屁股Well, well. Hello there哇哇女士你好啊Such a gentleman.真是个绅士啊And what a well-behaved boy!这孩子真懂礼貌Oh, there are the girls.女孩们- Sophie, hello, you look pretty. - Oh, I know.- 你好啊sophie 你看起来很漂亮 - 那还用说- Sorry, the kitchen is closed. - What?- 不好意思厨房下班了 - 什么?The kitchen was closed,厨房是下班了but can now be opened again for such a beautiful women.但是可以为如此漂亮的女士重新开张Hello, I am the chef.你好我是这儿的主厨Oh, here we go. Ukraines is gonna try to invade Poland.又来了乌克兰又一次要占波兰的便宜了 [Sophie是波兰人]It’s double-D day.今天是诺曼D杯登陆日啊 [Dday指诺曼底登陆 double D指罩杯] Oleg, this is our neighbor Sophie.Oleg, 这是我们的邻居Sophie.I would like to have a plate with sausage on it while I look over the menu先要一盘香肠其他的我看了菜单再说Yowza好啊You are like someone super-sized Victoria's secret angel.你就是丰满版的维密天使嘛 [维密天使是著名内衣品牌维密的模特代称 ]I'd like to Gisele on your Bundchens.就让我的吉赛尔来唤醒你心中的邦臣吧 [Gisele Bundchen是维密旗下超模]Oh!哦哦You are gonna act like a dog, I’ll treat you like a dog.你要装的像只狗我就待你像只狗Well, there goes his photography career.啊哦摄影生涯毁了啊Do you still want the sausage?你还想要香肠吗Yes, of course. Why should sausage suffer?肯定还要啊为什么现在才说上香肠啊You know how to handle yourself. Impressive.你知道如何保护你自己干得好That was like a game of rock paper pervert.石头色狼布一物降一物Sophie, thank you for coming in.Sophie 谢谢你能来Max and I wanna to talk to you about taking you up on your offer to work for yourcleaning company.Max和我正打算和你商量下加入你的家政公司工作的事情Yeah, she wants to do it for money to pay for our website.是的她想赚点外快好维持网站的运行But I wanna do it cause I like rummaging through strangers' medicine cabinets.我是喜欢在人家药箱里乱翻看能捡到宝不Have you cleaned a house before?你之前有打扫过房子吗Well, I had a house. And it was very clean.我之前有一栋房子而且它很干净But, whatever the task, you won’t be sorry.但是不管任务是什么你都不会失望的Max and I are a great team.Max和我是一个很棒的'团队And when we set our mind to something, we accomplish it 并且如果我们下定决心去做某件事我们都会完成- and you can consider giving us… - Oh, stop. This is not the dental schoolinterview.- 你可以考虑给我们… - 别说了这又不是牙医学院的面试Come on. This is scrubbing toilet. In or out?拜托这只是刷刷马桶到底干不干?We are in, all the way.我们加入全心全意的In my experience, when someone tells you they are all the way in, you’d betterhope their tongue works.据我的经验如果某人对你说他已经全入了你也就只能指望他舌头功夫厉害了So dirty!好三俗啊We can start tomorrow. Just tell us where to go and we will be there.我们可以明天开始谨遵您的指示Oh, OK.好的Well, you walk out your door, you take right, you go upstairs, 你们走出房门往右拐上楼you open my door and you clean my apartment.打开我的门打扫我的公寓It’s audition这是面试Can I just take off my shirt like in Fame?我能不能像《名扬四海》里那样一脱当面试?Excuse me.打扰一下Here is your non-sexual appetizer.这是您的开胃菜不带一点性暗示You and I will start small.我们认认真真从头开始You like?您喜欢吗?Yes, good boy. Now, go.喜欢乖狗狗现在走吧 [呼应上文的"我就待你像只狗"] Forced to clean Sophie’s department, this is getting dicey.被迫来给Sophie打扫屋子有点危险啊。

破产姐妹第一季第一集Pick up! Tables 12, 4, 11.十二四十一号桌上菜Got it.来了Hey, when you get a second,等你丫有空...stop looking at my boobs.麻烦把淫眼从我奶上移开Excuse me.麻烦一下Waitress?服务生Dude?小二Hi, what can I get ya?您好请问要点什么We need some...我们要...Is that annoying?看了会不爽吗Is that obnoxious and rude?觉得对方又欠扁又无礼吗Would you find it distracting if someone did that to you你工作时有人这么弄你while you were working?你会觉得烦吗Oh, you don't have a job. Sorry.哎呀忘记你没工作了抱歉Damn, dude, she burned you.靠伙计她完胜呀No, hipster.别搞错了小痞子Do not think we're on the same team.xx我跟你是一国的We have nothing in common.咱俩到死都不是同路人I wear knit hats when it's cold out.姐xx挡酷寒You wear knit hats cause of Coldplay.二货戴帽学酷玩[乐队]You have tattoos to piss off your dad. 你的纹身是想气死你爹My dad doesn't know he's my dad.我爹压根不知他是我爹And finally,最后you think...你觉得this is the sound that gets you service. 一声穿云指我千军万马来服务I think...要我说This is the sound that dries up my vagina.一声穿云指我如瀑下阴也干枯The other waitress disappeared, the Russian one.那位xx服务生呢怎么不见了We need horseradish.我们想要山葵酱Please.拜托您了That, ladies, is how you treat a waitress.妹妹真乖这样才有礼貌嘛Paulina!xx莲娜Oh, so... so good, oh...xx xx死了Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were on break.抱歉不知道你在休息I just need some horseradish.我要山葵酱- Here. - Oh, cool.-给 -收到Excuse me, where's my waitress?请问服务生去哪了She's coming.她马上来[xx]Earl.厄尔Earl!厄尔I made your favorite, red velvet.我做了你最爱的红丝绒蛋糕My little cupcake brought me a cupcake. 我的蛋蛋妹给我带来了小蛋糕Let me pay you for that.我还是把钱给你吧Oh, no, no. It's on the house.不用我请客It's your birthday.你生日嘛How old are you gonna be?过完生日要几岁了啊75.七十五岁Oh, Earl, if you were just three years younger.厄尔你要小个三岁咱俩就成了Max, Max, big news.xx xx 大新闻The new boss fired that Russian waitress, Paulina.新老板炒了xx妞宝莲娜Turns out chesty Kournikova was Vladimir Puttin' it out.大胸xx被发现其实是个死间谍Hello today. I have paycheck for you.早安我带了你的工资来I need to talk to you. You fired Paulina, Han?我有话问你你炒了xx莲娜吗 xxI am no longer Han Lee.我已经不叫xx憨了I have new American name我取了新的英文名字to go with changing neighborhood.好适应新时代"得"社会To go with the changing neighborhood.是新时代"的"社会You need to remember this for your immigration exam.移民考试的时候别又说错了Correct. To go with the changing neighborhood. 行好适应新时代"的"社会Bryce?小笼Your name is Bryce Lee?你改名叫xx小笼啊Wait, wait, um, um, um...等等等一下Don't hire a new waitress, okay?别再招新人来了好吗I've been doing all the work anyway,反正活儿总是我全包and I really could use the extra money.让我多拿一份工资补贴家计吧You need help.你需要帮手- No, I don't. - Everyone need help sometimes.-不用 -谁都需要帮手I don't. I've been waiting my whole life, okay? 我不用我当了一辈子的侍应I've waited on tables, I've waited in bars, 在餐厅酒吧都做过侍应I've waited on home pregnancy tests.甚至在家等验孕结果[Waited: 等待侍应一词多义]I already hire new waitress.我已经雇新人了She work in all top restaurants in Manhattan. 她以前在xx顶级餐厅工作过I gave her Paulina's uniform.我都把xx莲娜的制服给她了Mr. Lee, not to complain,xx 有点事情想问问but I think someone wore this uniform before me,这件制服好像有人穿过了呢like right before me.而且是刚刚才穿过Is it possible that I could get another one?可不可以帮我换一件全新的呀Maybe one that's a little less moist.换件没这么湿漉漉的Also this mustard color doesn't really go with my skin tone,另外我的肤色跟xx芥末色不太搭neither do the mustard stains...跟芥末渍也不搭And these various other stains, and smells.跟这各式污渍异味更是不搭I hope that's clam chowder.白白的是蛤蜊浓汤渍吧...So...所以I think it'd be better for everyone,为了大家including my immune system,以及我的免疫系统着想if I just keep on wearing what I'm wearing, 我就穿自己这身就好了and not the apron,'cause this is chanel.那件就省了我这身可是xxSo thank you,感谢聆听and let's waitress.本xx要xx啦Whatever that is,这娇娇女明显就是it does not belong in this diner.来错地方打错工了It belongs in a show on Bravo.她应该去演电视But she blonde, hair so shiny,她是金发妞金发闪闪good for business.有助财源广进啊Where do you even find these people?你都去哪找到这些歪瓜裂枣的啊The Russian hooker, the one before that was a meth addict.xx妓女再前一位还是吸毒妹You train her, I am boss.你去训练她我可是老板Da boss.老板中的老板Fine, but make her wear the uniform.好那你先去命令她穿上制服Are you sure we can't get the meth addict back?真不能让吸毒的回来吗She was really good at cleaning.她是毁尸灭迹打扫神人呢But her teeth fall out.可她吸毒到牙掉光了You are really judgmental, you know that?你也太以貌取人了吧I'm only gonna say this once, so pay attention.我就说一回仔细听I'm Caroline, by the way. And you're Max?我是卡洛琳你叫xx 对吗Don't get attached.先别建立感情This is the Williamsburg diner, owned by Han Lee,这间威廉xx餐厅老板是xxWho just changed his name to Bryce Lee,最近刚改名叫xx小笼because I guess he wants people to take him even less seriously.他应该是患了不被当笑话会死的病Eight months ago he bought it from the Russian mob.八个月前他向xxxx顶下这餐厅Clientele used to be all eastern bloc criminals and crack whores,以前客源通常是xx小流氓吸毒妓女but then he took it over and ruined it.他顶过来之后客源就跑光了Hey, sexy woman.哟性感辣妹You look so pretty today.今儿个性感动人啊You look so beautiful, I forgot how bad your personality is.美得我差点忘了你是悍妇了Thanks, Oleg.承蒙夸奖 xxHey, Barbie.嗨芭比xxThat's Oleg.他是xxHe will hit on you aggressively and relentlessly.他将会不停地用烂招泡你He doesn't realize he looks like that,他的自信多到爆棚and I don't have the heart to tell him.可惜我没多余的善心点醒他Miss, could we have some menus?xx 可以给份菜单吗Oh, sure.当然Don't smile.不要微笑Cause it raises the bar, and then I have to smile,你拉高服务标准我就得跟上and I can't be doing that.那样太累人了It's exhausting and I have a bad back.微笑又累人又有害健康That's Earl, we're in love.那是我的恋人厄尔Do not talk to him,别跟他多讲话unless you want to feel whiter than you already are.除非你想显得更"白"痴Oh, and that stain?还有那块污渍Not clam chowder.其实是男人"精"xxGo marry the ketchups.去把番茄酱xx一起Marry the ketchups. I'm on it."联姻"起马上好Okay. Now divorce the ketchups."联姻"完弄离婚吧Stop! Stop! Stop!停停停There's no such thing as divorcing the ketchups.让番茄酱离婚纯属我鬼扯You've never waitressed a day in your life.你压根就没当过服务生对吧Yes, I have.我真的做过You expect me to believe you看完你这出after watching that whole Temple Grandin routine?奇葩的演出后鬼才信你- I'm telling Lee. - Okay, okay,-我去跟老板检举你 -别求你了I may have enhanced my resume.我的确稍微xx了我的简历Enhanced? What, are we in Paris?xx 你当参加xx时尚展啊Please, I really need this job, okay?求你了我真的很需要这份工We lost all of our money.我们家一无所有了My trust fund was taken for legal fees.我的信托基金被拿去支付律师费My dad is in jail.老爸又入狱了What? What are you, Martin Channing's daughter? 干嘛难不成你是xx·xx的女儿啊Where's the paper?报纸在哪Martin Channing?xx·xxThe guy who ripped off the entire city is your father.骗光整座城的人是你老爸He told us we were having a good year.他只跟我们说今年生意挺好You're Caroline Channing.你是卡洛琳·xxYou're like a billionaire.你可是亿万富翁Was. Was a billionaire.曾是曾是亿万富翁They froze all our assets, everything's gone.所有资产都被冻结了全没了I only have what I could grab,我只能拿几样xx走and I grabbed all the wrong things.可我全拿了没用的xx- So do you know the president? - I've met him.-你认识总统吧 -见过- He's hot. - He's the president.-他很性感吧 -他就是个总统- Have you been to Switzerland? - Yes.-你去过xx吧 -去过- Do you have a horse? - Yes.-你有马吗 -有- Do you know Paris Hilton? - No, she's a hundred.-认识xx·希尔顿吗 -不认识她太老了Excuse me, uh, two hot chocolate, please.麻烦一下两杯热xxComin' up.马上好Let me do that, please.让我来吧I'm a really fast learner.我学xx可快了I went to Wharton business school.xx商学院毕业I got 2,300 on my SAT.SAT考了两千三百分Can you make a hot chocolate, or not?那你做得出热xx吗Nailed it.搞定We split the tips. Give me yours.小费均分把你的拿来You did better than I thought you would. 比我预计的好多了Listen, tonight I thought of a way我刚想到了一个we could make some extra money.赚外快的办法They've totally underestimated the price那些红丝绒蛋糕point on those red velvet cupcakes.定价实在低的离谱In Manhattan the asking price is at least seven, 在xx这至少卖七块so we could sell them for seven, and then pocket the difference.我们就卖七块赚价差中饱私囊Nothing about that sounds wrong to you?难道你不觉得有什么不对吗It's not our fault that the idiot who makes the cupcakes做蛋糕的傻子定价这么低doesn't know their worth.又不是我们的错I'm the idiot who makes the cupcakes.我就是做蛋糕的那傻子New information.我才知道嘛That's stupid.这肯定不行No one would pay $7 for one of my cupcakes. 谁会花七块买我的蛋糕啊Really? 'Cause...你确定吗看这...Well, at least we know you're not adopted. 果然有遗传你爸弄钱的基因啊So how'd you even end up in Brooklyn?你怎么会沦落到来布鲁克林打工Oh, I went o.我去招工网站Typed in "place where nobody输入上xx的人[富人区]from the Upper East Side would ever go, ever,"这辈子绝对不会去的地方and this diner came up.就出现这家店了You can't wear a fancy leather jacket outside 这里xx差穿高级皮衣in this neighborhood.铁定会被抢You have to turn it inside out.反着穿露出丑的那面Fur. Cool. Turn it back.皮草算了再翻回来吧So where do you live?你住哪儿呀Our townhouse was taken and bolted up by the bank, so...我家大宅被银行没收查封了Is this where I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?我需要表达一下同情吗I mean, I don't want you to,我是不想逼你啦but just so you know, a well-adjusted person would.不过正常的好人都会同情的I'm dead inside.我是没同情心的坏人You make that pretty obvious.是人都看得出来Anyway, I'm just gonna stay in the city with a friend.好吧我要去市中心的朋友家了I live a couple of blocks that way.我就住附近I'd walk you to the subway,我照理该陪你走去地铁站的it's just that I don't want to. 不过我真的没这么好心Got it.完全理解Okay.就这样吧Robbie!罗比Why is the music so loud?放这么大声干嘛呢It's 3:00 in the morning.现在都凌晨三点了I'm sorry.对不起嘛It's cool. So what are you doin'? xx你吧你们在干嘛呢The band's practicing.乐队在练习呢But you're not playing any instruments. 怎么没看到乐器呢Yeah, that's how we practice.这是我们独门秘技We, like, listen to other good music,听着别人的音乐and play it in our head.然后在自己脑海演练It's like the secret.这好比不能弹的秘密Well, I have a secret for you guys.是吗我也有个秘密要跟你们说Get out!给我滚出去- Uh, you guys better go. - We should go.-伙计们先走吧 -好的Sorry guys, I still have to make the cupcakes.抱歉了我还得做小蛋糕呢Cupcakes? For why? You can just buy 'em at the store.干嘛自己做去店里买一个不就得了You can do that in the morning, babe, come to bed.起来再做吧 xx 现在是滚床单时间No, I can't. I have to be in the city by 10:00.不行我明早十点要到市中心Fine. You can have three minutes.好吧给你三分钟Fine, you can have eight, one for each ab.好吧看在八块腹肌的份上给你八分钟Stand clear of the closing doors.关门请注意Well, I can cross that off my bucket list.太好了死前心愿又完成了一样I have a taser!我有电击棒Oh, my God.天啊I am so sorry.真是万分抱歉I didn't think it would hurt so much. It's pink. 我以为这只是粉红小电棒It didn't feel pink.我都要被电成炭粉了I didn't know it was you.我刚真不知道是你I thought I was being raped.我还以为自己被人强奸了呢That's not what rape feels like.摸你的手算个屁强奸啊Did you... did you sleep on the subway?昨晚...你是在地铁上睡的吗I had nowhere else to go,我没地可去and I'm too afraid to sleep outside on the street.又不敢睡xx上God, you're spoiled.天啊还真是娇生惯养Next stop, Greenpoint.下一站 xx中心Ugh, get your stuff, come on!快拿好你的行李I'll take you to my place, but hurry.我带你去我家吧快点Cause I have to be in the city in 30 minutes.我要三十分钟内赶回市中心Call me.要打给我哦Oh, my god, you've been robbed! 天啊你家进贼啦This is how it always looks.我家本来就这样Oh, my God, totally cute!天啊你家真不错All right, I'll be back at 4:00, 好了我四点回来and we can go to work together. 然后我们一起上班Bathroom, bedroom,卫生间卧室boyfriend sleeps till 4:00, yard. 睡到四点才醒的男友院子Oh, you have a yard.你还有个院子Looks like a really nice place to relax and do crack.感觉是放松吸毒两相宜的好地方It is.那可不I gotta go, I'm gonna be late for my other job in the city.我得走了不然我打工要迟到了You have two jobs?你打两份工吗Yes, I babysit for a Manhattan socialite diva.对还给一个xx社交女王看孩子Now I have a set.现在又多了一个Sorry I'm late.抱歉来晚了Oh, thank God you're here,谢天谢地你终于来了there is a bridge and tunnel smell over by the babiesxx身上有一股地下臭水沟的味儿that's stressing me out.快把我熏死了Their diapers probably need to be changed.应该是要换尿布了Again? I swear, the morning nanny just did that.又要换啊我肯定上午保姆才换了Motherhood is for reals.当妈可真不容易Max, remind me, what's my Twitter password?xx 我的推特密码是什么Twitter password."推特密码"Yes!对啦Hi, Brad. Hi, Angelina.嗨 xx xx莉娜Max, I need to tell you something because we're family.xx 你也是家人我有话想跟你说Now get me room temperature water and come over here.先给我拿瓶常温的水We are victims of the Channing Ponzi scheme.我们是xx骗局的受害者Me, David, and Brangelina.我大卫还有xx莉娜How much money did you lose?你们损失了多少Hold my hands.握紧我的手Nothing.分毫未损But it really scared me.不过吓死人家了Open that?帮我打开吧So do you know Caroline Channing?你认识卡洛琳·xx吗No, but she lost everything.不认识她什么都没有了She has no money.她一分钱都没有了Can you imagine having no money?你能想像没钱的滋味吗I mean, you wouldn't even have any money. 我是指穷的连钱都没有了You should twit that.金句快发推特啊And no one will even talk to her.树倒猴xx 墙倒众人推I heard she went to six different friends' houses据说她为了找安身之地for a place to stay,去敲了六个朋友的家门and they all had to pretend they weren't home.可他们都假装不在家- That's not cool. - Yeah.-这太过分了 -对啊- That's really sad. - So sad.-真是不幸 -对啊Breaks my heart.听的都心碎了I guess motherhood has really opened me up emotionally.当妈带孩子人都多愁善感了Max, I need to hold one of the babies,xx 我想抱抱我的xxbring me one.帮我抱个过来No, the other one. That's not the good one.我要另一个这个是次品- Hello. - Oh, hi.-你好 -你好Oh, I'm so sorry if I woke you up.抱歉吵醒你了- Who are you? - I'm Max's friend.-你是谁啊 -xx的朋友Uh, don't tell her I said that.这话你可别跟她说I have a feeling if she heard me call her my friend,她要知道我自称是她的朋友she'd stab me.她会冲过来杀我What are you doin' over there?你在这干嘛呢Just washing my uniform,洗我的制服trying to make it a little more cute 让它变xxand a little less crusty.洗去那层污垢Oh, watch out!小心Oh! Sorry, oh, my...抱歉我的错Do you have a towel or a rag?你有xx或抹布-Or something? - No, I... I got it. -之类的吗 -没关系我来搞定Oh, okay.好吧I'm Robbie.在下罗比I'm uncomfortable.在下不舒服You're getting me wet. 你害人家都湿了That's the point.正有此意You're Max's boyfriend. 你是xx的男友It's cool.没关系的No, it's not.不有关系Back up, Jersey shore. 走开卖肉男You're pathetic,你真可悲and that's coming from someone who's homeless 而且还是被一个无家可归and wearing white after a labor day.无衣可换的人说And I've seen better.姐见过身材更好的No, you haven't.才怪你骗人Hey. Why didn't you wait for me?你怎么没等我I thought we were coming over together.不是说好一起过来的吗Oh. Um, I wanted to get here early to marry the ketchups.我想早点来把番茄酱"联姻"起Listen, I heard something really upsetting about you today.今天我听说了你的惨况What did he say, that I came on to him?他怎么说的说我投怀送抱吗Him who?"他"是指...Nothing.没啥Him, Robbie?你是说罗比对吧It's none of my business,这事不我无关but you deserve better than that guy.但我觉得那家伙跟你配不上Yeah, it is none of your business.对这事的确不你无关Ooh, I was just starting to feel sorry for you. 唉我刚刚对你起了一丝怜悯之情I'm just saying, you're worth more than that.我是说你可以找个更好的What, I'm supposed to believe you about this?是吗我该相信你的话吗The person who lied on their resume,你连简历都作假and lied about the cupcakes... you're a liar.还用蛋糕赚差价你就是个大骗子- I'm just trying to help. - You know what?-我是想帮你啊 -那好吧Since you seem to know so much about everything, 既然你什么都懂why don't you take your wharton degree,干嘛不带着你的xx学位and your ridiculous coat, and figure this all out yourself.跟可笑的外套找一个能收留你的地方- Max.Max, wait. - Oh, look,-xx 等等 -瞧The Arcade Fire concert just let out across the street,对街的拱廊之火乐队演唱会刚结束good luck with that.祝你好运She's coming back, right?她会回来的吧She's not gonna leave me here alone这xx的xxwith a restaurant full of people?她不会丢下我一个人的对吧Let me put it to you this way.我就这么跟你说吧You might as well be a night maid你就跟晚上在施瓦辛格家at the Schwarzenegger house.落单的女佣一样You got screwed.要被狠操一顿了- Oh. - Oh, yeah.-xx -太xx了That feels so good.爽死我了Now put your tambourine around it.把铃鼓换来这个位置Hi, honey, I'm home.亲爱的我回来了I want you gone by the time I get back. 在我下班前滚蛋Babe! Babe, I can explain.xxxx 听我解释You weren't supposed to be home.你回家太早了嘛People say I deserve better than you.人家说你配不上我Who? That blonde girl?谁那个金发妞吗She doesn't know what she's talkin' about.她懂个屁就会瞎说She went to Wharton人家是xx毕业的and Switzerland.还去过xx呢Yo, yo. Look at that.快看快看That girl is workin' harder than Stephen Hawking 那妞儿干起活来比xx·xxxx·xx有肌肉萎缩症全身只有几根手指能动tryin' to put in a pair of cufflinks.扣袖口还努力呢Here, let me help you with that.来我来帮你I don't need any help.我不要人帮Everyone needs help sometimes.每个人都有需要帮忙的时候This isn't what I ordered.你们xx菜了This is Caroline.她叫卡洛琳She may have gotten your order wrong, 她可能会下错单but she does get some things right. 但她起码有些事情没做错Thank you.xxNo, thank you.不是我要xx你What'd you see in that guy, anyway?你到底看上那家伙哪点He had these muscle thingies.他这里的肌肉不错- Oh,those things? - Yeah.-那里呀 -是啊I don't know what those are called,我不知道那里怎么叫but they make smart girls stupid.但是好女孩看了就会意乱情迷Max!xxI thought your tight ass wasn't coming in tonight,还以为今晚见不到你的小翘臀呢and my heart broke in half.我的心都快碎了You know what, Oleg?xxI needed that.这话我爱听So I...如果I need a roommate, if you wanna crash.你要找地方住的话咱俩可以当室友Not gonna lie, the subway's cleaner than your couch.真不是我说地铁都比你家干净I just felt myself starting to like you.我好像对你有些好感了Really? Because I really feel like we could...真的吗我真觉得我们可...I knew that wouldn't last.我就知道纯属错觉Come on.走吧Tomorrow we can go into the city明天我们去市里and get the rest of your stuff.把你剩下的xx搬回来Everything's locked up.全部都锁起来了What, you have nothing that you care about that we can get?没有一样你喜欢的xx是可以拿回来的吗Well, there is one thing.好像还真有一样The weirdest thing is that nobody stopped us.居然没人拦我们真是奇了怪了I'm gonna save a fortune,把它养在这里keeping him here instead of in the stables.比养在马厩里省钱多了When did you put this whole horse-in-my-yard thing together?什么时候想到这养马大计的I can't help it.这就是我I see an opportunity, and I make it happen,只要有机可乘我绝不让它溜走like with your cupcakes.比如你的纸杯蛋糕Like what with my cupcakes?关我的小蛋糕啥事Ready? To open a bake shop,听好了开一家蛋糕店all we need is 250 grand start-up money,只需要二十五万启动资金来for the real estate, and the basic equipment...租店面和买一些基本设备Yeah. Oh.。

美剧《破产姐妹》介绍和经典台词
美剧《破产姐妹》介绍和经典台词
电视剧简介：
《破产姐妹》（2 Broke Girls），是美国CBS电视台于2011年9月19日首播的情景喜剧。

该剧由米高·帕特里克·金与惠特尼·甘明斯联手打造，设定地点是在纽约市布鲁克林区，主力围绕着两名年轻女侍应Max Black与Caroline Channing的日常生活。

在第38届美国民选奖上，该剧嬴得了最受欢迎电视新喜剧。

1、姐戴帽子挡酷寒，二货带帽学酷玩。

2、你的纹身是想气死你爹，我爹压根不知他是我爹。

3、你觉得，一声穿云指，我千军万马来服务，要我说，一声穿云指，我如瀑下阴也干枯。

4、那块污渍，其实是男人精华。

5、骗光整座城的人是你老爸——他只跟我们说今年生意挺好。

6、我只能拿几样东西走，可我全拿了没用的东西。

7、好吧，看在八块腹肌的份上，给你八分钟。

8、你还有个院子，感觉是放松吸毒两相宜的.好地方。

9、树倒猴孙散，墙倒众人推。

10、姑娘很努力哟，比霍金戴袖口还卖力。

11、不骗你哟，地铁比你家沙发干净。

12、你做蛋糕，我有商科背景，咱俩等于成功。

13、我怕我要是写下来，它会成为我的自杀遗言。

14、你睡觉时枕头底下还藏把刀啊？这是我唯一付得起的家庭安保项目，况且没事也能割割腕咯。

15、谁二十多岁的时候不是穷的，人人都有要逃避的事情，你选择躲进冷藏室，我选择视而不见和用酒精麻痹。

16、舍不得银子上不着妞呀。

17、给多少小费是你的自由，在你食物里吐口水是我的自由。

My name is Mary Alice Young.In this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life, but that all changed last Thursday. Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.I made breakfast for my family.I performed my chores.I completed my projects.I ran my errands.In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs.Martha Huber, who'd been startled by a strange popping sound.Her curiosity aroused, Mrs.Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.[Screeams] It's my neeighbor.I think shee's beeeen shot.Theeree's blood eeveerywheeree.Yees, you'vee got to seend an ambulancee.You'vee got to seend onee right now.And, for a moment, Mrs.Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.But only for a moment.If there was one thing Mrs.Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.I was laid to rest on a Monday.After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects.And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.She didn't cook much while moving up the corporate ladder.She didn't have the time.But when her doctor announced she was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea."Why not quit yourjob?" "Kids do better with stay-at-home moms.It would be so much less stressful." But this was not the case.In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from thefast-food restaurant.Lynette would've appreciated the irony if she'd thought about it.But she didn't have the time.- Stop it, stop it, stop it.- But, Mom.No.You aree going to beehavee today.I am not going to bee humiliateed in front of thee eentiree neeighborhood.And, just so you know how seerious I am - What's that? - Santa's ceell-phonee numbeer.How did you geet that? I know someeonee who knows someeonee who knows an eelf.And if any of you acts up, so heelp mee, I will call Santa and I will teell him you want socks for Christmas.Aree you willing to risk that? OK.Leet's geet this oveer with.Gabrielle Solis who lives down the block brought a spicy paella.Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men. Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date.Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal.Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.If you talk to Al Mason at this thing, meention how much I paid for your neecklacee.Why not pin thee reeceeipt to my cheest? Hee leet mee know what hee paid for his wifee's conveertiblee.- Just work it in.- Theeree's no way I can.Why not? At thee Donahuee party eeveeryonee was talking mutual funds.You meentioneed you sleept with half thee Yankeeee outfieeld.It camee up in thee conteext of thee conveersation.Peeoplee aree staring.Keeeep your voicee down.Absoluteely.Wee wouldn't want theem to think wee'ree not happy.Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. Bree was known for her cooking.And for making her own clothes.And for doing her own gardening.And for re-upholstering her own furniture.Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood.Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother.Everyone, that is, except her own family.Paul.Zachary.- Heello, Mrs.Van Dee Kamp.- You shouldn't havee.It was no troublee.Thee baskeet with thee reed ribbon is for your gueests.Thee onee with thee bluee ribbon is just for you and Zachary.It's got rolls, muffins, breeakfast typee things.Thank you.Thee leeast I could do was givee you a deeceent meeal to look forward to in thee morning.I know you'ree out of your minds with grieef.Yees, wee aree.I will neeeed thee baskeets back oncee you'ree donee.Of coursee.Susan Mayer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.Her husband, Karl, always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely made it well.It was too salty the night she and Karl moved into their house.It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Karl's shirt.She burned it the night Karl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.A year had passed since the divorce.Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life.Even one who would make fun of her cooking.Mom, why would someeonee kill theemseelvees? Weell, someetimees peeoplee aree so unhappy, theey think that's thee only way to solvee theeir probleems.- Mrs.Young always seeeemeed happy.- Yeeah.Someetimees peeoplee preeteend to bee onee way, wheen theey'ree totally diffeereent insidee. Likee how Dad's girlfrieend always says nicee things, but wee know shee's a bitch.I don't likee that word, Juliee.But, yeeah, that's a greeat eexamplee.[Man] You'ree weelcomee.[Juliee] What's going on? Sorry I'm latee.- Hi, Susan.- Heey.So what did Karl say wheen you confronteed him? You'll lovee this, hee said, "It doeesn't meean anything.It was just seex." Ah, yees, pagee onee of thee philandeereer's handbook.Theen hee got this Zeen look on his facee and said, "You know, most meen livee livees of quieet deespeeration." - Teell mee you puncheed him.- No.I said, "What do most womeen leead? Livees of noisy fulfillmeent?" - Good for you.- Did hee havee to bang his seecreetary? I had that woman to brunch.An eereect peenis doeesn't havee a conscieencee.Eveen thee limp onees areen't that eethical.This is why I joineed thee NRA.Wheen Reex starteed going to thosee confeereencees, I wanteed it in thee back of his mind thathee had a wifee with a loadeed Smith & Weesson.Lynniee, Tom's always away.Do you eeveer worry hee might? Hee's gotteen mee preegnant threeee timees in four yeears.I wish hee was having seex with someeonee eelsee.So, Susan, is hee gonna stop seeeeing that woman? I don't know.I'm sorry, you guys, I just I just don't know how I'm gonna survivee this.Listeen to mee.Wee all havee momeents of deespeeration.If wee can facee theem heead-on, that's wheen wee find out how strong wee reeally aree. [Far off] Susan.Susan.I was just saying Paul wants us to go oveer on Friday.Hee neeeeds us to heelp pack up Mary Alicee's things.Hee can't facee doing it by himseelf.- Suree.That's finee.- Aree you OK? Yeeah.I'm just so angry.If Mary Alicee was having probleems, shee should'vee leet us heelp heer.What probleems could shee havee had? Shee was heealthy, had a greeat homee, a nicee family. Heer lifee was Our lifee.No.If Mary Alicee was having a crisis, wee'd havee known.Shee livees 50 feeeet away, for God sakees.Gabby, thee woman killeed heerseelf.Someething must'vee beeeen going on.- I wouldn't eeat that if I weeree you.- Why? I madee it.Trust mee.Heey, heey, do you havee a deeath wish? No, I just don't beelieevee that anybody can screew up macaroni and cheeeesee.Oh, my God.How did you? It tastees likee it's burnt and undeercookeed.Yeeah, I geet that a lot.Heeree you go.Thanks.I'm Mikee Deelfino.I just starteed reenting thee Sims' housee neext door.Susan Mayeer.I livee across thee streeeet.Mrs.Hubeer told mee about you.Said you illustratee childreen's books.Yeeah, I'm veery big with thee undeer-fivee seet.- [Hee laughs] - What do you do? Plumbeer.So if you eeveer havee a clog or someething.Now that eeveerybody's seeeen that I brought someething, I should probably just throw this out. - [Baby squeeals] - Ow.Easee up, you littlee vampiree.Lyneettee, I'vee beeeen looking all oveer for you.Aree you awaree of what your sons aree doing? Cannonball! - [Boy] Stop! - [Boys cheeeer] What aree you doing? Wee aree at a wakee.- You said wee could go in thee pool.- I said you could go by thee pool.Do you havee your swimsuits on? Yeeah, wee put 'eem on ourseelvees beeforee wee leeft.You threeee planneed this? All right.That's it.Geet out.- No.- No? I am your motheer.You havee to do what I say.Comee on.Wee want to swim and you can't stop us! [Chatteer] [Shee groans] Heeree.- No! - Geet out.Think I won't geet in this pool and just grab you? Geet out! Oh! Geet oveer heeree.All right, givee mee your arm.You Yah! That's right.Geet oveer heeree.Go, go, go, go, go.Movee it.Out.Geet out.Paul, wee havee to leeavee now.Oncee again, I am so sorry for your loss.Go.Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband.He had other things on his mind.Things below the surface.The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.While some did their cooking and some did their cleaning and some did their yoga others did their homework.- Hi - [dog barks] I'm Juliee.I kickeed my ball into your backyard.Oh, OK.Weell, leet's go round and geet it.- Stay.- [Dog growls] His wifee dieed a yeear ago.In LA theeree weeree too many meemoriees.Hee's reenting for tax purposees, but hopees to buy soon.- I can't beelieevee you weent oveer theeree.- I saw you flirting.Now you know hee's singlee, you can ask him out.Juliee, I likee Mr.Deelfino, I do.I just I don't know if I'm reeady to datee yeet.You neeeed to geet back out theeree.How long has it beeeen sincee you'vee had seex? - Aree you mad I askeed you that? - No, I'm trying to reemeembeer.I don't want to talk to you about my lovee lifee.I wouldn't havee said anything.Just What? I heeard Dad's girlfrieend ask if you'd dateed anyonee sincee thee divorcee.And Dad said hee doubteed it.And theen theey both laugheed.[Dog barks] Heey, Susan.Hi, Mikee.I brought you a housee-warming gift.I should'vee brought someething by eearlieer.- Actually, you'ree thee first to stop by.- Reeally? - Susan knew she was lucky.- Weell An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane and she was the first to find out. She also knew that good news - Heello theeree.travels quickly.Edie Britt was the most predatory divorc�e in a five-block radius.Her conquests were numerous.Varied.And legendary.[Prieest] Wh Ah! Hi, Susan.I hopee I'm not inteerrupting.You must bee Mikee Deelfino.Hi, I'm Ediee Britt.I livee oveer theeree.Weelcomee to Wisteeria Lanee.Susan had met the enemy.And she was a slut.Thank you.What's this? Sausagee puttanesca.It's just someething I threew togeetheer.Weell, thanks, Ediee.That's greeat.I'd invitee you in, but I was in thee middlee of someething.- I'm latee for an appointmeent.- I just wanteed to say hi.And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.Oh, Mikee, I heeard you'ree a plumbeer.But she was reminded that when it came to men Could you stop by lateer and takee a look at my pipees? women don't fight fair.- Suree.Thanks.Byee, Susan.- You can't ordeer mee around.- Gabrieellee.No, no.I'm not going.Tanaka eexpeects eeveeryonee to bring theeir wivees.Eveery timee I'm around that man, hee triees to grab my ass.I madee oveer 200,000 doing busineess with him last yeear.If hee wants to grab your ass, leet him.[Wind chimees] - John.- Ow! Mr.Solis, you scareed mee.Why is that bush theeree? You weeree supposeed to dig it up.- I didn't havee timee.- I don't want eexcusees.Just takee caree of it.I reeally hatee thee way you talk to mee.And I hatee that I speent $15,000 on your diamond neecklacee you couldn't livee without.But I'm leearning to deeal with it.So can I teell Tanaka wee'll bee theeree tomorrow? John, wee havee bandagees top sheelf in thee kitcheen.Thanks, Mrs.Solis.Finee, I'll go.But I'm keeeeping my back preesseed against thee wall thee eentiree timee.Seeee, now this is what a marriagee is all about.Compromisee.- Is your fingeer OK? - Yeeah, it's just a small cut.Leet mee seeee.Mmm.You know, Mrs.Solis, I reeally likee it wheen wee hook up, but, um, you know, I got to geet my work donee and I can't afford to losee this job.This tablee was hand-carveed.Carlos had it importeed from Italy.It cost him $23,000.You want to do it on thee tablee this timee? Absoluteely.[Geentlee classical music] Why can't wee eeveer havee normal soup? Danieellee, theeree is nothing abnormal about basil pur�ee.Oncee, can wee havee a soup peeoplee havee heeard of? - Likee Freench onion or navy beean? - Your fatheer can't eeat onions.Hee's deeathly alleergic.And I won't eeveen dignify your navy beean suggeestion.So, how's thee osso buco? - It's OK.- It's OK? I speent threeee hours cooking this meeal.How do you think it feeeels wheen you say, "It's OK" in that sulleen tonee? Who askeed you to speend threeee hours on dinneer? Excusee mee? Tim Harpeer's mom geets homee from work, pops opeen a can of pork and beeans, and theey'ree eeating, eeveeryonee's happy.- You'd ratheer I seerveed pork and beeans? - Apologizee now, I beeg.I'm saying do you always havee to seervee cuisinee? Can't wee just havee food? - Aree you doing drugs? - What? Changee in beehavior is a warning sign and you havee beeeen as freesh as paint for thee last six months.It eexplains why you'ree always in thee bathroom.- That is not what hee's doing.- Shut up.Mom, I'm not thee onee with thee probleem heeree.You'ree thee onee acting likee shee's running for Mayor of Steepford.Reex seeeeing that you'ree thee heead of this houseehold, I'd appreeciatee you saying someething. Pass thee salt? Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.Indignation.Tom, this is my fifth meessagee and you still haveen't calleed mee back.You must bee having a lot of fun on your busineess trip.I can only imaginee.Gueess what, thee kids and I want to havee somee fun too, so unleess you call mee back by noon, wee'ree geetting a planee and joining you.- Mom.- Not now.Mommy's threeateening Daddy.- Mom.- No, I - Wheeree aree your brotheers? - Noodlees, my favoritee.- Lyneettee Scavo? - [Undeer heer breeath] Crap.Nataliee Kleein.I don't beelieevee it.- Lyneettee.How long has it beeeen? - Yeears.How aree you? How's thee firm? - Good.Eveeryonee missees you.- Yeeah.Wee all say, if you hadn't quit you'd bee running thee placee by now.Yeeah, weell.So how's domeestic lifee? Don't you just lovee beeing a mom? And there it was.The question that Lynette always dreaded.Weell, to bee honeest For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable.So Lynette responded as she always did.She lied.It's thee beest job I'vee eeveer had.[Gasps] - You know what I don't geet? - What? Why you marrieed Mr.Solis.Weell, hee promiseed to givee mee eeveerything I'vee eeveer wanteed.- And did hee? - Yees.Theen why areen't you happy? Turns out I wanteed all thee wrong things.So do you lovee him? I do.So theen why aree wee heeree? Why aree wee doing this? Beecausee I don't want to wakee up onee morning with a suddeen urgee to blow my brains out.- Heey, can I havee a drag? - Absoluteely not.You aree much too young to smokee.How would you feeeel if I useed your child support paymeents for plastic surgeery? Stop beeing neervous.You'ree just asking him to dinneer.No big deeal.You'ree right.So is that your projeect for school? In fifth gradee I madee thee Whitee Housee out of sugar cubees.Stop stalling and go.Beeforee Mikee figurees out hee can do beetteer.Teell mee again why I fought for custody of you.- You weeree using mee to hurt Dad.- Oh, that's right.Oh, God.- Hi.- Heey, Susan.- Aree you busy? - No, not at all.What's up? Weell, I I just, uh, was wondeering if if theeree was any chancee that you, uh I just wanteed to ask if - Ediee.- Heey, theeree, Susan.- What aree you? - I was making ambrosia.And I madee too much so I thought I'd bring somee oveer to Mikee.- What's going on? - Susan was gonna ask mee someething.Uh - I havee a clog.- Excusee mee? - And you'ree a plumbeer, right? - Yeeah.- Thee clog's in thee pipee.- Yeeah, that's usually wheeree theey aree.- Weell, I'vee got onee.- OK.Leet mee geet my tools.Now? You want to comee oveer now? You havee company.I don't mind.Just givee mee two minutees.I'll bee right oveer.[Squeeals quieetly] [Breeathees heeavily] That's it.- Stuff thee hair down.- I stuffeed it.- It's not eenough to clog it.- Heeree.Heeree.Look.Put in this peeanut butteer.And this cooking oil.- Mom - And theesee olivees.- It's not working.- [Doorbeell] Oh, God.That's him.How am I gonna stop up thee sink? Weell, heeree's your probleem. Someebody stuffeed a bunch of Popsiclee sticks down heeree.I'vee told Juliee a million timees not to play in thee kitcheen.Kids, you know.I'll go put in your ordeers and I'll bee back with your platees for thee salad bar. Thank you.Andreew, Danieellee, napkins.Thank you.Theey havee videeo gamees.Can wee go play until our food geets heeree? - This is family timee.I think - Go aheead and play.I know you think I'm angry about coming heeree, but I'm not.Thee kids wanteed a changee of pacee, someething fun.I geet it.Theey'll want someething heealthieer tomorrow, though.- I'm thinking chickeen saltimbocca.- I want a divorcee.I just can't livee in this this deeteergeent commeercial anymoree.Thee salad bar's theeree.Heelp yourseelf.Thank you.Um, I think I'll go geet your salad for you.- Breeee Van Dee Kamp.- Oh, heello, Mrs.Hubeer.Wee didn't geet a chancee to talk at Mary Alicee's wakee.How aree you doing? Bree longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal.But sadly for Bree, admitting defeat was not an option.Greeat.Eveerything is just greeat.I got you thee honeey mustard dreessing.Thee ranch lookeed a littlee bit suspeect.Aree wee gonna talk about what I said? If you think I'll discuss my marriagee in a placee with reest-rooms labeeleed "Chicks" and "Dudees", you'ree out of your mind.- What's in this? - What do you meean? It's salad.- With with onions.- What? - You put onions in my salad.- No I didn't.Oh, wait.[Digging] The sound that awakened my son was something he'd heard only once before.Many years ago when he was quite young.But he recognized it instantly.[Grunts] It was the sound of a family secret.[Grunts] Seven days after my funeral, life on Wisteria Lane finally returned to normal. Which, for some of my friends, was unfortunate.- Mommy, Mommy! - Now what? - Daddy's homee! - [Boys cheeeer] Comee on! Heey, is anybody homee? - Heey! - Heey! I wasn't eexpeecting you for a weeeek.I havee to go back to 'Frisco in thee morning.But I got your call.You soundeed frazzleed.Yeeah.- It's beeeen a littlee rough.- Hi.Yeeah.Peeachees.Did you buy us any preeseents? Oh, God, preeseents.Wait up.Leet mee seeee.- Ohhh! - Yeeah! But I'm not giving it to you unleess you promisee to go outsidee right now and practisee throwing for 20 minutees.- Yeeah! Yeeah! Yeeah! - Punks.Geet out! Who's opeen? Go out.Deeeepeer.Deeeepeer.Touchdown! Oh, my God.Oh, no.You got to bee kidding.I'm eexhausteed.I look teerriblee.I'm coveereed in peeachees.- I'm sorry, baby.I got to havee you.- Weell, is it OK if I just liee heeree? - Absoluteely.- [Shee laughs] - I lovee you.- I lovee you moree Oh, baby.Wait.I was having troublee with sweelling.Thee doctor took mee off thee pill.Put on a condom.- A condom? - Yeeah.What's thee big deeal? Leet's risk it.- Leet's risk it? - Yeeah.- I can't beelieevee you trieed to kill mee.- Yees, weell, I feeeel badly about that.Mrs.Hubeer camee oveer and I got distracteed.It was a mistakee.- Sincee wheen do you makee mistakees? - What doees that meean? It meeans I'm sick of you beeing so damn peerfeect all thee timee.I'm sick of thee bizarree way your hair doeesn't movee.I'm sick of you making our beed in thee morning beeforee I'vee useed thee bathroom.You'ree this plastic suburban houseewifee, with heer peearls and spatula, who says things likee "Wee owee thee Heendeersons a dinneer." Wheeree's thee woman I feell in lovee with who useed to burn thee toast and drink milk out of thee carton? And laugh.I neeeed heer.Not this cold, peerfeect thing you'vee beecomee.Theesee neeeed wateer.Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five minutes, but her husband never knew.Because when Bree finally emerged she was perfect.- I found my eearrings.Wee can go now.- Was John heeree today? Weell, yeeah.Thee lawn hasn't beeeen moweed.I'vee had it.Wee'ree geetting a reeal gardeeneer.- Why? - Aree you deeaf? I just said hee's not doing his job.It's dark.You just can't seeee thee lawn has beeeen moweed.- It hasn't.Feeeel this grass.- I'm not feeeeling thee grass.Leet's just geet going.Comee on, wee'ree latee.- Takee caree of it.- Yees, sir.Theeree's Tanaka.Timee for mee to go and do my dancee.Good luck, sweeeetheeart.You seeee that man just walkeed away? Can you makee suree hee has a drink in his hand all night long? Yees, ma'am.[Squeeals] Mm.- Susan? Susan! - Mrs.Hubeer, how aree you doing? Not too weell, I'm afraid.I'm trying to find someething to soothee my stomach.- It's upseet? - Yeeah.I had thee worst macaroni and cheeeesee at thee wakee.It's beeeen running through mee.And I neeeed to bee at my beest.Ediee Britt's son is speending thee night.Hee's speending thee night? Ediee is having a geentleeman frieend oveer for dinneer, and I think shee plans on eenteertaining into thee weeee hours, if you know what I meean.Oh, heeree's somee antacid.Havee you eeveer trieed this? I can't beelieevee it.This can't bee happeening.Mikee can't likee Ediee beetteer than mee.You don't know what's going on.Maybee theey'ree just having dinneer.You'ree right.Theey'ree doing it.Ediee? Ediee? Heello? Anybody homee? I neeeed to borrow sugar.[# Marvin Gayee: Let's Get It On plays on steereeo] [Ediee] Oh, my God! Oh, yees! Givee it to mee! And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to, the maybe of Mike Delfino, was gone forever.[Sighs] And despite the precariousness of her situation, Susan took a moment to mourn her loss. [Gasps] Oh.[blows] Oh! Oh! [Squeeals] It didn't take Susan long to realize, this was just not her night. [Ediee] Is someebody out theeree? - [Smokee alarm] - Oh, my God! That's smokee! [Sireens] [Two-way radio] Oh, my God.Shee leeft candlees unatteendeed in thee deen.Parameedic said shee was lucky.Shee could'vee beeeen killeed.[Lyneettee] Shee ran out with nothing on.- Shee was having seex with somee guy.- What happeeneed to him? Hee got smokee inhalation.Hee's at thee hospital.Oh.Susan, aree you all right? You look awful.I'm finee.I'm finee.I just, uh, feeeel reeally bad for Ediee.Oh, honeey, don't worry about Ediee.Shee's a strong lady.Absoluteely.Shee'll geet through this.Shee'll find a way to survivee.Wee all do.Comee on.- Wow! What happeeneed? - Mikee! And suddenly there he was.Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.I I thought you weeree uh Wheeree weeree you? I just got back from thee moviees.Ediee had a firee, huh? Yeeah.Yeeah, but shee's finee now.Eveerything's finee now.And just like that, Susan was happy.Life was suddenly full of possibilities.Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.- Hello.- It's mee.- Have anything yet? - No, nothing yeet.But don't worry.I'm deefiniteely geetting closeer.I brought somee champagnee.I thought wee should havee a toast.The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my life.All right, ladiees, lift 'eem up.To Mary Alicee, a good frieend and neeighbor.Wheereeveer you aree, wee hopee you'vee found peeacee.- To Mary Alicee.- To Mary Alicee.Leet's geet this show on thee road.You guys, cheeck out Mary Alicee's clothees.Sizee eeight? Ha! Shee always told mee shee was a sizee six.- Wee found thee skeeleeton in heer closeet.- Not quite, Gabrielle, not quite.- What's that? - A leetteer addreesseed to Mary Alicee.How ironic.To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret, treated so casually.- What aree you doing? That's privatee.- It's opeen.What's thee big deeal? - What doees this meean? - Don't know. Cheeck out thee postmark.Oh, my God.Shee got it thee day shee dieed.Do you think this is why shee? I'm so sorry, girls.I never wanted you to be burdened with this.Oh, Mary Alicee, what did you do?。

破产姐妹中的俚语经典台词整理友谊的开始⼝语精华：1. Nailed it.搞定。

2. Don’t get attached.别建⽴感情。

3. Hi, what can I get ya?您好，您要点什么吃的?4. I’m a really fast learner.我学习东西可快了。

5. Oh, no, no. It’s on the house.不⽤，不⽤，免费的。

6. You make that pretty obvious.你表现得很明显。

7. I’m only gonna say this once, so pay attention.我就说⼀回，仔细听。

8. Miss, could we have some menus?⼩姐，可以给我们⼏份菜单吗？9. Well, I can cross that off my bucket list.太好了，我可以把这项从⼈⽣⽬标清单上划下去了。

10. I need a roommate, if you wanna crash.你要找地⽅住的话，咱俩可以当室友。

11. You did better than I thought you would.你做的⽐我想象的好多了。

12. You are really judgmental, you know that?你真的很挑剔，你知道吗？13. I see an opportunity, and I make it happen.只要有机会，我绝不让它溜⾛。

14. What, I’m supposed to believe you about this?是吗，我该相信你说的这些吗？经典台词：1. Earl：You got screwed.你被耍了。

2. Damn, dude, she burned you.靠，伙计，她完胜呀。

3. Max：Did freakin’ Chestnut here kick you in the head while I was in Starbucks?我去星巴克的时候，你脑⼦让栗宝给踢了吗？4. Caronline：It’s not our fault that th e idiot who makes the cupcakes doesn’t know their worth.做蛋糕的傻⼦定价这么低⼜不是我们的错。

破产姐妹经典台词_破产姐妹经典语录破产姐妹，一部美国的情景喜剧，讲述了两个身份背景完全不同的都市女孩的故事，Max（Kat Dennings扮演）生在穷人家庭，而Caroline（Beth Behrs扮演）生在富人家庭。

Caroline家道中落，令她不得不去Max工作的饭店打工赚钱。

两人商量着筹集25万美元资金来共同开创新事业。

两个美丽又性感的姐妹花，给我们大家带来了许多的经典台词哦。

1.谁二十多岁的时候不是穷的，人人都有要逃避的事情，你选择躲进冷藏室，我选择视而不见和用酒精麻痹。

2.你睡觉时枕头底下还藏把刀啊。

这是我唯一付得起的家庭安保项目，况且没事也能割割腕咯。

3.你还有个院子，感觉是放松吸毒两相宜的好地方。

4.你做蛋糕，我有商科背景，咱俩等于成功。

5.我怕我要是写下来，它会成为我的自杀遗言。

6.只能拿几样东西走，可我全拿了没用的东西。

7.给多少小费是我的自由。

在你食物里吐口水也是我的自由。

8.姐戴帽子挡酷寒，二货带帽学酷玩。

9.舍不得银子上不着妞呀。

10.骗光整座城的人是你老爸——他只跟我们说今年生意挺好。

11.好吧，看在八块腹肌的份上，给你八分钟。

12.那块污渍，其实是男人精华。

13.你觉得，一声穿云指，我千军万马来服务，要我说，一声穿云指，我如瀑下阴也干枯。

14.姑娘很努力哟，比霍金戴袖口还卖力。

15.你还有个院子，感觉是放松吸毒两相宜的好地方。

16.你的纹身是想气死你爹我爹压根不知道他是我爹。

17.你觉得，一声穿云指，我千军万马来服务，要我说，一声穿云指，我如瀑下阴也干枯。

18.男根虽好，我手更巧。

19.嘿如果你想和我百合直接追我就行了。

20.但是我们又不是只穿着内衣戴着鸡头面具的妞。

感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。

美剧《破产姐妹》介绍和经典台词
美剧《破产姐妹》介绍和经典台词
电视剧简介：
《破产姐妹》（2 Broke Girls），是美国CBS电视台于2011年9月19日首播的情景喜剧。

该剧由米高·帕特里克·金与惠特尼·甘明斯联手打造，设定地点是在纽约市布鲁克林区，主力围绕着两名年轻女侍应Max Black与Caroline Channing的日常生活。

在第38届美国民选奖上，该剧嬴得了最受欢迎电视新喜剧。

1、姐戴帽子挡酷寒，二货带帽学酷玩。

2、你的纹身是想气死你爹，我爹压根不知他是我爹。

3、你觉得，一声穿云指，我千军万马来服务，要我说，一声穿云指，我如瀑下阴也干枯。

4、那块污渍，其实是男人精华。

5、骗光整座城的人是你老爸——他只跟我们说今年生意挺好。

6、我只能拿几样东西走，可我全拿了没用的东西。

7、好吧，看在八块腹肌的份上，给你八分钟。

8、你还有个院子，感觉是放松吸毒两相宜的.好地方。

9、树倒猴孙散，墙倒众人推。

10、姑娘很努力哟，比霍金戴袖口还卖力。

11、不骗你哟，地铁比你家沙发干净。

12、你做蛋糕，我有商科背景，咱俩等于成功。

13、我怕我要是写下来，它会成为我的自杀遗言。

14、你睡觉时枕头底下还藏把刀啊？这是我唯一付得起的家庭安保项目，况且没事也能割割腕咯。

15、谁二十多岁的时候不是穷的，人人都有要逃避的事情，你选择躲进冷藏室，我选择视而不见和用酒精麻痹。

16、舍不得银子上不着妞呀。

17、给多少小费是你的自由，在你食物里吐口水是我的自由。