托福独立写作两步四句开篇法
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托福独立写作如何写好开头段首先,在大家接触的独立写作框架里,其包括开头段、中间段以及结尾段的3大段落结构的划分。
按照时间进行更加理想的分配,再根据审题到完成70到90字左右的开始段,通常都提醒大家将时间控制到5分钟里,以便留出更为充分的时间进行中间段、结尾段的写作及最后检查。
加上,开头段看似简单、好操作的`特点,如此相当容易使得大家忽略对开头段的练习与总结;或者是匆匆下笔;肯定的里面同样存在有的学生看到独立写作题目后不知道如何下笔,导致后半部分时间没把握好、完成不佳的情况。
如此与以上的几种可能性的情况综合起来,我们该如何快速写好开头呢?有关一篇文章的开始段落,毫无疑问,开头段的写作好坏是不是可以给包括阅卷老师在内的读者们留下一个最为基本的印象,即初步了解考生的英语语言组织基础和逻辑能力。
以上是关于托福独立写作如何写好开头段的详细内容,希望大家能从中受益,不断改进自己的备考方法提升备考效率,从而获得满意的成绩。
托福写作开头结尾常用30句谚语1. A bad beginning makes a bad ending. 恶其始者必恶其终。
2. A bad padlock invites a picklock. 开门揖盗。
3. People can survive anything but weak will.不怕路远,就怕志短。
4. A bad thing never dies. 坏事传千年。
5. A bad bush is better than the open field. 有胜于无。
6. A beggar's purse is bottomless. 乞丐的钱袋是无底洞。
7. A bad custom is like a good cake, better broken than kept. 坏习惯像鲜馅饼,分食要比保存好。
8. A bad workman quarrels with his tools. 拙匠常怨工具差(人笨怨刀钝)。
托福独立写作开篇段写法开头1:现象+题目改写+作者观点现象:提出一种普遍现象或值得关注的现象(紧扣论题)作为背景例如:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should reward their children with money for the high grades.A: To some extent, scoring high at school might indicate a promising future. Thus, grades are commonly accept as a reliable criterion to evaluate the potential in a student. In the unprecedentedly competitive society today, most parents are having high ambitions for their children. In order to realize these glamorous expectations, they would spare no cost. A number of parents choose to reward their children with money if they manage to achieve high marks. As far as I am concerned, there are more defects than merits lying in such a measure.例如:Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which would you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.A: In today’s increasingly vigorous job market, two-way selection has become a most typical mode of employment. Both job hunters and employing units are facing equal chances ofmutual-assessment. Such a hiring mode marks the noticeable progress of modern economy. Blessed with a large source of job offers, candidates have the freedom to decide which employer suits them best. Some prefer to work for small companies, while others are in favor of larger ones. If I were a job hunter, I would definitely choose a large enterprise.开头2:事例+背景+题目改写+作者论点事例:1. 媒体(电视,电台,报纸,杂志和网络)的报道2. 自己,朋友,邻居,同事的事例例如:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, people were friendlier than they are today.A: In my childhood, my grandma used to tell me many stories about their “good old days”. They have all been etched deep in my mind. I could never forget them, even down to the smallest details. Those stories illustrated that the relationships between people at that time seemed to be purer and closer. As time goes by, society has undergone dramatic changes and so have people’s feelings towards each other. Realizing this, I have gradually accepted the reality of these changes. Indeed, people in the past were friendlier than people are now.新通教育开头3:问题+回答+题目改写+作者论点问题:把背景用问题方式提出;例如:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy your friendship.A: What is the most fundamental bond that connects the hearts of friends? From my point of view, the answer lies in the solid basis of honest communication. A mistake in itself is by no means destructive and horrible. It is the harmful remarks or actions that prove fatal and dangerous. Therefore, I would rather let a friend make a mistake than deliberately say or do things that may damage our friendship.例如:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose friends that have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you need them.A: What is supposed to be the definition of true friendship? Without doubt, real friends are those who will stand by your side or render support in time of need and share joy and happiness in time of pleasure. The criteria of choose friends differ among individuals. Nonetheless, there are common features existing in every real friend. As a result, it is best to choose a friend who could not only have fun with us, but also give us support under all circumstances.以上就是Introduction的四种写法,作为最常用的方法,我们可以根据自己的实际水平和题目灵活运用。
5句话hold住托福独立写作“开头段”“开头段”、“论证段”和“结尾段”是托福独立写作的“三部曲”,彼此各司其职,进而构成一个Unity(整体)。
其中,“开头段”最主要的功能有两个:一是引出话题;二是表达观点。
然而,在表达观点的时候,大家倾向于有以下两种选择:一是开门见山(在“开头段”直接给出个人观点:要么agree或者disagree;要么prefer A或者prefer B);二是娓娓道来(即在“论证段”或“结尾段”进行观点的阐述或总结)。
本文将从这2种方式出发,教你如何用5句话hold住托福独立写作“开头段”。
第一种:开门见山式【概括背景+ 引出话题+ 一类人观点+ 另一类人观点对比+ 个人观点】1、概括背景:以概括题目的方式给出文章的写作背景2、引出话题:以承上启下的方式引出题目关键词3、一类人观点:针对题目的两个面(比如说:立场A和立场B),先给出一类人的观点(比如说:立场A)4、另一类人观点对比:站在一类人的对立面给出相对立的观点(立场B)5、个人观点:在相对立的两个立场中选择一个作为自己的观点(立场A / 立场B)以下是从独立写作真题出发,向大家展示如打造开门见山式“开头段”:① (A/D) The main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.(概括背景)A defining character of people is the degree to which they believe that higher education plays a crucial role in a country’s development. (引出话题)One indisputable fact is that university education is closely associated with professors. (一类人观点)Some people, especially parents, believe that professors should focus on educating students. (另一类人观点对比)However, others, professors themselves in particular, argue that they ought to pay more attention to their researches. (个人观点)From my perspective, the major obligation of university professors is to teach.② (A/D) The advice from grandparents has no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 50 years.(概括背景)A defining character of people is the degree to which they are always willing to refer to others’ advice and fit in. (引出话题)One indisputable fact is that valuable advice is closely associated with experienced people like parents and grandparents. (一类人观点)Some people, especially the old, believe that it’s beneficial to turn to grandparents.(另一类人观点对比)However, others, the young in particular, argue that due to the great development of the world, their grandparents’ suggestions are not useful any more. (个人观点)From my perspective, asking for help from one’s grandparents can be a really wise choice.此处总结为开门见山式“开头段”模板:A defining character of people is the degree to which + 概括题目. One indisputable fact is that + 题目概括词+ is closely associated with 题目关键词. Some people, especially 具体的人, believe that + 一类人观点. However, others, 具体的人in particular, argue that + 另一方观点. From my perspective, + 个人观点.(NOTE:“the degree to which”在此处的功能相当于“that”,且其后所接句子的主语必须和前面的“people”一致)第二种:娓娓道来式【概括背景+ 引出话题+ 一类人观点+ 另一类人观点对比+ 争议句】1、概括背景:以概括题目的方式提出文章的写作背景2、引出话题:以承上启下的方式引出题目关键词3、一类人观点:针对题目的两个面(比如说:立场A和立场B),先给出一类人的观点(比如说:立场A)4、另一类人观点对比:站在一类人的对立面给出相对立的观点(立场B)5、争议句:给出一个争议的句子,不直接表明个人观点,将之留在“论证段”或“结尾段”进行阐述或总结以下同样从独立写作真题出发,打造娓娓道来式“开头段”:① (A/D) Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on young people’s behaviors.(概括背景)A defining character of people is the degree to which they are always willing to pursue happiness. (引出话题)One indisputable fact is that one’s happiness is closely associated with daily entertainment, which can be easily offered by some technological products like movies and televisions.(一类人观点)Some people, especially the young, believe that movies and TV play a crucial role in helping them release stress.(另一类人观点对比)However, others, the parents in particular, argue that some films and TV programs have caused great negative effects on their children. (争议句)Therefore, when it comes to whether movies and televisions bring more positive or negative effects, people’s notions vary from one to another.② (A/D) The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status.(概括背景)A defining character of people is the degree to which they are always willing to pursue a better life.(引出话题)One indisputable fact is that a quality live is closely associated with having a job.(一类人观点)Some people, especially the young, believe that their intention of working is to make enough money.(另一类人观点对比)However, others, old people in particular, argue that they work mainly for a high social position.(争议句)Therefore, when it comes to whether the major aim of working is for money or social position, people’s notions vary from one to a nother.此处总结为娓娓道来式“开头段”模板:A defining character of people is the degree to which + 概括题目. One indisputable fact is that + 题目概括词+ is closely associated with 题目关键词. Some people, especially 具体的人, believe that + 一类人观点. However, others, 具体的人in particular, argue that + 另一方观点. Therefore, when it comes to whether 转述题目, people’s notions vary from one to another.(NOTE:“the degree to which”在此处的功能相当于“that”,且其后所接句子的主语必须和前面的“people”一致)。
如何写好托福独立写作开头段托福独立写作是需要30分钟时间完成的300字以上的作文,也就是给出一个话题或者一个论述,然后考生需要用一篇文章来表达自己针对这个话题的观点。
很多同学看到这样的任务都会觉得非常难,但是独立写作都是有“套路”的,现在就让我们一起来看看独立写作应该如何写好开头段。
如何写好托福独立写作开头段开头段又叫introduction段,它的作用是引入话题,并且综合概述全文观点,所以它的组成有两部分:General statements (to give background information)Thesis (to show the main theme in the essay)意思就是一开始需要用一两句话来给出背景信息,来说明这篇文章主要谈论的是什么,然后再用一句话写明这篇文章的主题,也就是亮明自己的观点。
我们来看一个例题:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.题目翻译:你同意或者不同意以下观点?网络的发明对于文明有消极影响。
用具体的原因和例子来支持你的观点。
首先确定观点,这里假如我们采取支持的观点。
然后写出全文的主题句,也就是第一段的最后一句,写这句话的要点是把你的观点具体化:The Internet enables us to communicate more easily, save time, and save money.(网络能够使我们交流更容易,节约时间,节约金钱)然后写前面的主题引入部分,也就是在你要谈论的主题上进行适当拓展,介绍它的大环境,和人们对于它的一些普遍观点:People have always been worried about the impact when new technology is introduced. For instance, business people are worried about profits since a new technology can make their company obsolete. Yet, progress itself is not negative. The positive or negative impact of technology results from how it is used. One recent development in technology, the Internet, has both positive and negative potential. However, overall, I feel that the Internet is positive for society since it enables us to communicate more easily, save time, and save money.这就是一个完成度很高的介绍段。
托福独立写作怎么开头在托福的独立写作过程中,良好的开头段能让评审官眼前一亮。
怎么写好托福独立写作的开头部分?下面就是给大家整理的托福独立写作写好开头的方法,希望对你有用!托福独立写作如何写好开头一、构建提问法开头的基本框架想要用这种开头来写作文章,那么我们就要了解这种开头的结构:可以通过1-2句话来对给定话题进行提问;再用1-2句话来表达自己的观点和态度。
下面就根据一个例子来说明托福独立写作提问法的开头方式:题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should manage their own money at young age.开头:Many parents are in doubt whether children can control their pocket money at young age? As far as I am concerned, with patient guidance and good suggestions, teenagers should manage their own money and assume responsibility at young age.二、要掌握3类常的提问词汇以下3类是常用的提问法开头的提问词汇,在语法构造上也是非常简单实用的,大家备考时务必要牢记:第一类:情态动词,例如should, could, might第二类:why与why not第三类:be in doubt whether往往这种结构就出现在文章开头段的前1-2句中,具体大家可以在练习过程中去练习。
三、要善于利用提问法在利用提问法写开头需要是2点:1.是注意替换,考生可以使用词汇来替换、变主动句为被动句等技巧来对给定话题进行包装和重述,务必要做到意思相近,但形式不同,以此来迎合写作满分标准中对语言多样性的要求;二是字数的不足或者表达观点的力度如果不够时,可以针对提问做出多种可能性的回答,然后再亮明自己的观点,但要注意简洁有力,避免啰嗦。
托福独立写作开头模板(必备5篇)1.托福独立写作开头模板第1篇稳妥写法:先复述原题再引出观点题目:"We shape our buildings and afterwards our buildings shape ”模板:I believe this statement should be interpreted broadly—to mean that we are influenced by the exterior shape of buildings, as well as by the arrangement of multiple buildings and by a building’s various architectural and aesthetic While I doubt that buildings determine our character or basic personality traits, I agree that they can greatly influence our attitudes, moods, and even life点评:这种写法比起直接开门见山亮观点的写法来说可能更加稳妥一些,毕竟先简单复述题目再表达自己观点是托福官方指南OG中比较推荐的开头写法。
而且无论考生对题目观点是否赞同,对题目复述之后进行适当的让步再亮出观点也是一种比较委婉的表述方式。
当然这种写法需要注意不能引用太多原题,而且不能照搬需要用自己的话来适当改动一下。
这其中的度大家需要把握好,否则反而会引起一些不必要的扣分。
2.托福独立写作开头模板第2篇11、Recently, ______________ has become the focus of the society, and in this People swarm to12、______________ has been playing an increasingly important role in our day-to-day It has brought us a lot of benefits but created some serious problems as13、Man is now facing a big problem-______________, which is becoming more and more First, ______________ second,14、Nowadays more and more people are beginning to be aware of the seriousness of15、It is only during the last years that man has become generally aware that3.托福独立写作开头模板第3篇6、Everything has two sides and ______________ is not an exception, it has both advantages and7、For years ______________ had been viewed as But people are taking a fresh look at it8、It has stipulated by the government that To this stipulation, many people respond actively because9、______________ is a common occurrence in our daily Whatever we do,______________ can't be10、______________ has become a hot topic among people, especially among the young, and heated debates are right on their4.托福独立写作开头模板第4篇近三年的机经表明,托福写作的出题模式已趋向于单一且固定,即Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: 面对这样的题目,你可以有三种选择,同意,不同意,不置可否。
托福toefl独立作文写作方法和模板整理toefl独立写作模板整理-个人整理1. toefl独立写作的基本要求是什么?独立写作在toefl中,位于最后一项考试内容,在综合写作之后。
要求考生在30分钟内就某一问题或者观点给出自己的想法和选择等,最少不少于300words(但是写到400字左右才有把握取得较好的分数)。
2. 独立写作框架是什么?从目前的整理的内容和在网上看到的内容来看,框架基本可以分为总-分-总的格式,基本分为5大段。
第一段:开头第二段:支持段落1第三段:支持段落2,如果还有其他观点,可以继续另起段落,写支持段落3第四段:让步段落+重申自己坚持的观点第五段:结尾、结论3. 独立写作的题型有哪些?从写作的基本内容来看,独立写作的题型基本可以归纳为两种。
一种是观点选择类,一种是比较对比类。
这两者可以转换。
观点选择类。
属于非强制比较的题型,即题目中并不要求考生对题目中的观点进行比较,但是也不禁止。
观点选择类的题型基本是给出两个对立的观点(如:你是否认为受过教育的人比没有受过教育的人更有可能成功?),或者一个观点的两个方面,要求你支持其中的一个观点或者方面。
比较对比类。
属于强制比较的题型。
即题目中明确要求进行观点比较。
比较对比类题型基本是给出两个观点或者一个观点的两个方面,然后要求考生就这两个观点或者一个观点的两个方面进行比较,并且要给出自己的观点和偏好。
二者的转化。
两种题型可以互相转化,但是为了更多的写字、凑字数,一般将“比较对比类”题型作为主要的题型,“观点选择类”题型转化为“比较对比类”来写。
即:若题目要求考生选择a观点或者b观点的时候,我们就可以说选择a,然后写a的两个优点,然后说b的一个优点,然后说a比b更好。
为什么说“比较对比类”更容易凑字数呢?很好理解,比较对比类的题型,我们不得不对两个观点都进行论述,理论上讲字数要多一些的,而“观点选择类”很容易就其中一个观点来写,假如一不小心考生没有那么多的想法,就很难凑够字数了。
托福作文开头的两种写作方法托福写作,托福写作开头。
托福作文的开头自然是有至关重要的作用!小马网校的老师整理了托福作文开头的两种写作方法,帮助考生写作靓丽的开头!托福作文开头的两种写作方法。
接下来我们就要进入这个开头段写作方法的讲解。
一、托福独立写作议论文的开头很重要!文章构成我觉得有必要说一下,因为其实就是这个独立写作,之前不是说议论文,议论文的话,有一个通用的一个范式,大家不要追求把文章写的太玄妙,因为不是好的议论文该有的特点,以后大家写作文的时候,都按照这个结构来写,开头段必须有,结尾段也必须有,中间是主体段,主体段写两到三段都可以,后面对应的功能也是规定好的。
开头段就是要引入话题,表明观点,有的同学写开头段的时候没有表明观点,这个是不可以的,开头段必须表明自己的观点,开头段的作用就是引入话题表明观点。
然后结尾段就是概括要点,重审观点,最后再说一下我同意还是不同意,然后把整片文章再稍微归纳一下,中间主体段就是展开论证。
开头段的确是非常重要,就是你这篇文章给人的firstimpression.那整个文章是写在了四段式五段式都可以,加上开拓段结尾段,四段式五段式都可以,也就是说主体段两段三段都可以,我们下面来讲这个开头段的写作。
二、托福独立写作开头的两种写作方法开头段今天给大家介绍两种写作方法,一种比较好用,操作性比较强,比较简单,然后可能技术含量会稍微小一点,另外一种可能会稍微难点,第一种叫观点对比法,还有一种是背景法。
分别来看一下怎么写。
观点对立法很简单,顾名思义就是把不同任的观点列出来,简单的讲一下,再说自己的观点,就是有的人觉得怎么样,另一些人认为怎么样,在我看来怎么怎么样,非常简单的结构。
我们看一下这个例题还有我给出的开头段的例子。
Intwentyyears,printedbookswillnolongerbeinexistence.这是写作营我们前两天练过一道题,20年后纸质书将不复存在,这个题也是属于我们的绝对词题型里面一个极端的一个nolonger,然后我们看一下这样的一道题,关联对比法,开头段怎么写。
2024托福独立写作范文一、托福独立写作的通用思路。
1. 开头。
可以用一个有趣的小故事或者一个惊人的事实来引入话题。
例如,如果话题是关于“是否应该在学校里增加艺术课程”,你可以这样开头:“你知道吗?有个学校曾经做过一个疯狂的实验,他们把所有的艺术课程都取消了,结果呢?整个学校就像失去了色彩的世界,学生们每天都过得超级枯燥。
”然后明确表达自己的观点,比如“在我看来,学校绝对应该增加艺术课程。
”2. 主体段落。
每个主体段落都要有一个中心论点。
例如,对于增加艺术课程这个话题,一个主体段落的中心论点可以是“艺术课程能够激发学生的创造力”。
接着给出具体的例子来支持这个论点。
“就像我的朋友小明,他以前在数学和科学课上总是表现平平,但是自从学校开设了绘画课,他在绘画的过程中学会了从不同的角度看问题。
有一次在数学几何题上,他就用了绘画中对形状的理解方式,轻松地解出了难题。
这就说明艺术课程能给学生带来全新的思维方式,激发他们在其他学科上的创造力。
”可以有两到三个主体段落,每个段落从不同的角度来论证自己的观点。
3. 结尾。
简单总结自己的观点。
“所以说,学校增加艺术课程是非常有必要的,这对学生的全面发展有着不可忽视的作用。
”还可以再升华一下主题,“艺术就像生活中的魔法,它能让我们的校园生活更加丰富多彩,也能让学生们成为更有想象力和创造力的人,去创造一个更美好的世界。
”二、托福独立写作的技巧。
1. 语言表达。
不要使用过于复杂、生僻的单词,但是要保证用词准确。
用“big”不如用“enormous”或者“huge”更能体现词汇量。
多使用连接词,像“firstly”“secondly”“in addition”“moreover”“however”等,这样可以让文章的逻辑更清晰。
2. 避免语法错误。
在写作过程中要注意主谓一致、时态一致等基本语法规则。
写完后可以快速检查一下。
3. 针对题目要求。
一定要仔细阅读题目,确保自己的文章是紧扣题目要求来写的。
托福写作要分段吗?托福独立写作的分段方法托福写作要分段吗?托福独立写作的分段方法1.如何写开头段我们知道,托福独立写作是典型的议论文,一般开头段是文章的背景段,介绍题目中的问题是在什么样的环境下发生并且说明自己的观点。
所以我们可以按照以下步骤完成背景段:第一步:展开话题中的关键词,结合关键词介绍背景;第二步:给出他人对这一问题的看法;第三步:根据题目,给出自己对这一问题的观点;第四步:给出一个承上启下的过渡句。
作文题目:Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals like members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and e某amples to support your answer.开头段例如:(介绍背景)当今社会,很多人会把宠物看成家庭中的成员。
它们生病时会照料它们,它们身体好时会陪它们玩耍。
(他人观点)对于这种关系,人们持有不同的观点,有些人认为人与宠物之间应该有界限,过于亲密的关系对人类有害。
(个人观点)但我认为人们和宠物之间建立这样的亲密关系是件好事。
(过渡句)下面我会给出自己的理由和论据。
2.如何写中间段议论文的中间段是支持观点的主要内容。
一般我们会先想出支持论点的两到三个理由,然后每一个理由用一个段落来展开。
中间段一般有两到三个理由段,其中每一个理由段都需要有相应的例子或者细节,并且还要有清晰的论证过程,用来说明自己的观点。
理由段例如:观点:我认为人们和宠物关系亲密是件好事。
理由:养宠物有助于主人的身心健康。
理由段:我认为人们和宠物关系亲密是件好事,主要是因为养宠物有助于主人的身心健康。
托福独立写作两步四句开篇法
托福独立写作两步四句开篇法
我们写作最重要的一步就是审题,审题关系到整个文章思路的确定,而审题准确有否最直接的体现就是文章的开篇段。
一般来说,开篇段落的写作可分为两大步骤:
第一步就是用简洁明了的句子对原题目的意思进行同义替换;
第二步是提出自己的观点。
这两大步骤细化起来可以概括为四句话:
第一句,采用同义替换的方式对原题目的意思进行更改,当然是“形变神不变”;
第二句,对题目的意思进行解释
第三句,提出自己的观点;
第四句,概括自己所提出观点的理由,引起下文。
案例1:误解原意思
Do you agree or disagree: Because people are busy with doing so many things, they can do few things well?
Original:
Some people may hold the view that they are able to do things well even if they are busy with doing so many things simultaneously or during a given period. Although plausible at the first glance, I disagree with the statement. Depending on my own personal experience and personality, I firmly maintain that people can do few things well when they are busy with doing so many things. My arguments of this opinion are listed as follows.
解析:
文章第一句话不是对原题目意思进行解释,而是采用采取了和原意思相反的做法来进行题目诠释;第二句表明自己对误解题目的观点;第三句话对自己的观点进行近一步的解释;
第四句一个过渡性的句子。
开篇内容安排倒是很好,但是作者犯了误解原题目意思的错误导致后面整个文字都做了无用功。
Revised:
When people are engaged in a large extent of work simultaneously, they will not be able to perform all of them perfectly. Just imagine how terrible it will be: too many jobs need to be done by the same person in a given time. Once such a picture appears in my mind, I feel dizzy. To me, it is impossible to do everything well with the limited energy and many others factors .Therefore , I agree with the statement too many things to be done at the same time cause few to be well done . The reasons are as follow.
Revised:
第一句话对原题目意思进行了很好的诠释;第二、三句话进一步解释原题目;第四句话提出自己的观点;第五句话过渡性句子引起下文。
案例2 :语言罗嗦,绕弯子给出自己观点,浪费时间
Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
original:
With the development of science and technology, people’s living standard has been improving day by day. According to the family plan, one couple could have only one child. So child becomes the center of the whole family. Some of them are even spoiled. Therefore, I think it is better if the young adult could live independent from their parents as soon as possible.
解析:
这个开头看似没有任何问题,但是仔细分析就会发现很多
问题。
首先,作者绕了个大弯才给出自己的观点。
其次,观点是对原题目的抄写,改动的比较少。
最后,开篇缺少引起下文的过渡句。
更大的错误是这个开头更像是一个全文主要观点的一个分论点。
Revised:
As we all know, some young adults have the sense of independence in a special period so that they want to choose to live apart from their family, while others still choose to stay with parents in the family. Family can provide young adults a warm bay where he or she could turn to whenever any problems arise. However, considering the sound development of the young adult both mentally and physically, I think to live independently the earlier, the better. Independence is a lesson that each of us must face one day. The detailed reasons are listed below.
解析:
第一句话诠释原题目意思;第二句话进一步解释第一句话;
第三句话提出自己的观点;第四句话解释自己的观点,引出下文。
托福独立写作开篇第一段是整个文章的主机调,这个部分如果出现问题整个文章就会黯然失色。