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英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him."Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts."It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him."But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
幽默英文笑话带中文翻译笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
店铺整理了幽默英文笑话带中文翻译，欢迎阅读!幽默英文笑话带中文翻译篇一there was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing(耕地) , and his horse immediately galloped(疾驰，飞奔) five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.一位农夫在犁田时，不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股，他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇，载了一位医生回来。
"that’s a pretty smart horse," the farmer’s friend later observed.一个朋友看到后便夸赞说：“你这匹马真是聪明!”"well, he’s not really so s mart," the farmer said. "the doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"农夫说：“也没有你想的那么聪明啦!它带来的是一位兽医!”幽默英文笑话带中文翻译篇二a fat lady walked into the dress shop. "i'd like to see a dress that would fit me," she told the clerk.一个胖女人走进服装店。
“我想看一件适合我穿的衣服，”她告诉店员说。
"so would i," said the tactless clerk.“我也是。
”不太老练的店员说道。
幽默英文笑话带中文翻译篇三a little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. the family dog began to howl along dismally.一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。
搞笑的英文单词翻译及例句搞笑，是指有意的作出一些举动或者发表一些可笑的言论来引人发笑，那么，你知道搞笑的英语怎么说吗?现在随一起来学习关于搞笑的英语知识吧。
make laughs搞笑的英文释例句所有小孩子跑起来都很搞笑，但是你有尝试过像他们一样吗?All little kids run in a funny way but have you tried running that way?逃避者很搞笑，但是逃避者不应成为男孩们所追求的东西。
逃避者不喜欢学校，他们躲避责任。
Slackers are funny, but slackers are not what boys should strive to be; slackersdon’t like school and they shirk responsibility.每一个坚持下来的摄影师同样依赖着其他人的照片，这些照片可能是公开的或者私有的，严肃的或者搞笑的，但是也提醒他们社会的存在。
Every photographer who has lasted has depended on other people's pictures too– photographs that may be public or private, serious or funny, but that carrywiththem a reminder of community.辛格如是说，“在现实生活中他可以是忧郁的，可以是搞笑的，他可以是任何情况。
In real life he can be dark, he can be funny, he can be anything.我今天不庆祝生日，但我收集编译了一些有关生日的搞笑语录，供大家学习漂亮的平易英语之用。
I will not celebrate my Birthday today, but I have collected and translated somefunny birthday quotes for you to learn good and plain English.在戏剧仓库的爸爸。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语也能如此搞笑某人是内蒙古农村的，有一对外国老夫妇到这里住了下来。
因为村里的人无法和他们交流，老夫妇很寂寞，就养了一只猫。
一天早上，老夫妇正梳理猫毛，一个人从旁边过来，冲着俩人说“鼓捣猫呢”。
夫妇俩随即冲着来人说：“Good morning.”傍晚时分，二人正在把晾在外边的衣服收起来，路过的一个村民冲着他们说：“鼓捣衣服呢！”二人这回反应很快说：“Good evening.”私下里老夫妇俩感叹，合着他们这里的人都会说英语呀！某次英文考试有两道题目： 1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。
2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。
正确答案应为： 1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone. 2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up. 但是某生的答案是：1）Shit! 2）Hello? 老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money，并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
”小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu．外宾曰：我他妈还是方片七呢！江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译近年来,冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象在网络、杂志上十分盛行。
我细心收集了爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译：还没那么急Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctors consulting-room. "Doctor,' he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.' "Good heavens, man!' said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why dont you come to me on the day you swallowed it?' "To tell you the truth, Doctor,' the poor man replied, "I didnt need the money so badly then.'一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。
"大夫!' 他说，"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!' "天哪，' 大夫说，" 早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?' "实话告知您吧，大夫，'穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱!'爆笑的英语笑话大全带翻译：老夫妻吵嘴A couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser,turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind, cried: Ill law you to the CircuitCourt.一对性情乖僻的老夫妻发生了争吵，始终闹到地方法官那里。
爆笑英语笑话带翻译爆笑英语笑话带翻译冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力,一时间大红大紫。
店铺精心收集了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇1A school report学校成绩单The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。
他边看边露出愤怒的表情："English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。
”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。
"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。
但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇2A Smart Parrot聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the redstring he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养，Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。
搞笑英文笑话带翻译Funny English Jokes: Laughing Out Loud。
Humor is a universal language that connects people from all walks of life. Whether it's a witty remark, a pun, or a funny story, laughter is the best medicine for a bad day. Here are some hilarious English jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud.1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!This joke is a classic example of a pun, which is a play on words that creates a humorous effect. In this case, the pun is based on the double meaning of the word "dressing" as both a condiment and an action of getting dressed.2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!This joke is a clever play on words that uses the scientific concept of atoms to create a humorous effect. The punchline is a pun on the phrase "make up" which means both "to constitute" and "to invent".3. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!This joke is a twist on the classic "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke. The punchline is a pun on the word "slide" which means both a playground equipment and a movement of slipping or gliding.4. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!This joke is a pun based on the homophones "tired" and "tyred". The punchline is a play on the phrase "too tired" and the fact that bicycles have two tires.5. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it hadtoo many problems.This joke is a clever play on words that uses the concept of math problems to create a humorous effect. The punchline is a pun on the word "problems" which means both difficulties and mathematical exercises.6. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!This joke is a pun based on the double meaning of the word "mugged" as both a slang term for being robbed and a way of preparing coffee. The punchline is a humorous twist on the idea of a victimized beverage seeking justice.7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!This joke is a pun based on the double meaning of the phrase "outstanding in his field" as both an idiom meaning exceptional and a literal description of a scarecrow standing in a field.8. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well!This joke is a pun based on the double meaning of the word "peeling" as both the act of removing the skin of a fruit and a description of someone's health or mood. The punchline is a humorous twist on the idea of a fruit seeking medical attention.9. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!This joke is a pun based on the double meaning of the phrase "cold hard cash" as both a slang term for money and a description of something that is literally cold and hard.10. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!This joke is a pun based on the double meaning of the word "juice" as both a liquid from fruit and a slang termfor energy or vitality. The punchline is a humorous twiston the idea of a fruit running out of energy on the road.In conclusion, these funny English jokes are a greatway to lighten the mood and bring a smile to someone's face. Whether you're telling them to your friends, family, or colleagues, these jokes are sure to make everyone laugh out loud. So go ahead and spread some joy with these hilarious puns and witty one-liners!。
英文幽默笑话中文翻译“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面小编为大家带来英文幽默笑话中文翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英文幽默笑话中文翻译1：“You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained tohis friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained tome for half an hour why my answer is wrong.“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。
”英文幽默笑话中文翻译2：Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there isonly the mother and thechildren. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he waspainting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。
后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。
于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去……而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊！3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.你永远不能战胜一个纯SB，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你。
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.直译：在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。
a：我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。
b：吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。
5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...a. 如觉嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操错洞。
b. 若XXOO是下体的痛，那么，是你操错。
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.XXOO就象打桥牌。
如果对手不好使，自己的手必须好使。
9、 Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.有些人就像 Slinkies （弹簧玩具），没什么实在用处，但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来捣腾去还是很有喜感。
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是：他们都很有规律地被替换，而且因为同一个理由——脏了！！11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.战争不能决出正义，但能判出哪方出局。
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.a. 女人的高潮可能是装出来的。
但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是装出来的！b. 女人假装高潮以获取真实的感情；男人假装感情以获取真实的高潮。
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.我们永远不可能真正的成熟，我们只是学会在众人面前装逼。
14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.男人就两种状态：饿和性饥渴。
要是他不硬，就给他个三明治！15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright unl you hear them speak.光总是比声音跑的快点，这就是为嘛有些SB只有在开口说话之后你才发现他是在装B。
16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.我妈每次对着我骂草泥马的时候都没看出其中笑点。
17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.曾以为我想要的是职业，结果发现我只是想要工资。
18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.你要是觉得没人在乎你的死活,那你不妨尝试一下跟你的债主玩躲猫猫~~19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.XXOO并不是结论而是个问题，爽不爽才是答案。
20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你你为什么好不了。
21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a wholebox to start a campfire?直译：一根火柴能点着整片森林，一盒火柴也生不起个营火，这咋回事！意译：想当年哥戴套都能让人怀孕，看今朝叔竟然去看男科22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?如果4/5的人在忍受腹泻的痛苦，那剩下1/5咋回事？很享受吗？23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it ina fruit salad.直译：知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果；智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。
a：知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子，智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。
b:所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后，但智慧的mp告诉你这终还是男女有别~24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧！25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on thesame night.无论，在任何情况下，永远，不要在一个夜晚，同时吃，安眠药，和通便灵。
26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端，不是为了成为一个素食者。
27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..公车站呀公车停。
火车站呀火车停。
俺桌上有个工作站…28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.要是我听你的，咱俩就都2B了。
29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?海豚可聪明了你知道不？只要驯养几个星期，它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.a. 下棋，我不行；玩跆拳道，电脑不行！b. 下象棋电脑把我玩得团团转，拳击我能把机箱踹得七零八散！31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"瞅见个姐姐，胸前衣服上写着“Guess”...俺就问了一句：“...隆过？”32、 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walkand talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.孩子就是：你先花2年，教丫们走路和说话。
然后你再花16年教丫们坐定和闭嘴。
33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?为什么当你说天上有400亿星星时他不怀疑，却偏要检查你所说的“油漆未干”？34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.a. 宁愿闭嘴当傻瓜，也别学乌鸦乱呱呱。
