英语幽默小故事
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英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1:英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走,这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡,教授制止了他,告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话,早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2:英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理:工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
2023年最新的英语幽默小故事10篇1Mr. Jones had a few days’ holiday, so he said, “I’m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off.Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too.The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back” they ask ed.“No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there’s no name and no addressin my hat, and there’s a name and address on the bag. Someone’s going to find both of them near each other, and he’s going to send me the bag and the hat.”琼斯先生有几天的假期,所以他说,“我要去山上的火车。
”他穿上他最好的衣服,拿了一个小袋子,去了火车站,上了火车。
他有一顶漂亮的帽子,他经常把他的头伸出车窗去看山。
英语小故事5分钟幽默爱听故事、爱看故事书,是现在小学生最明显的特点。
孩子们通过阅读来获取知识。
店铺整理了5分钟幽默英语小故事,欢迎阅读!5分钟幽默英语小故事篇一A foreign visitor touring the great American West came across an Indian with his ear pressed to the ground.一位外国游客到美国大西部游览,碰到一个印第安人把耳朵紧贴在地上。
"What are you listening for?" he asked."你在听什么呢?"他询问道。
"Stagecoach pass about half hour ago.“一辆马车半小时前曾经过这里。
”"How can you tell?"“你怎么知道呢?'’"Broke my neck. "“我的脖子被撞断了。
”5分钟幽默英语小故事篇二A politician was out on the Indian reservation displaying his sympathy for the oppressed Native Americans. He addressed a gathering of the people.一位政客抵达一处印第安人居留地向居住在该区被压迫的原住民表达他的关切之情。
他向一群民众发表演说。
The plight of your tribe has always been close to my heart," said the politician.“我一直切身体会到你们的穷苦困境,”政客说。
"Umgwalagwala , "responded the audience enthusiastically.“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群众热烈欢呼。
一分钟英文幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1:一分钟英文幽默小故事 A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return.Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all.But when he tried to get out again he foundhimself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune.一分钟英文幽默小故事2:The Beauty of a ShabbyLittle DandelionSpring has e for the flowers and trees, in the forest and fields. Spring has also e on the wild flowers under the fence and on a small apple tree. There were red bursting flower buds hanging on the fresh apple tree branches.The apple Tree Branch held up his head and looked at many kinds of people who came in and out. They allshowed different reactions to the Apple Tree Branch.All the people reacted differently when they saw the Apple Tree branch. Some were expressionless without a word, some overpraised the beauty of the Apple Tree Branch, and others gazed at him with a satisfied look.Seeing these various reactions from people, the Apple Tree Branch realized that people have as diverse personalities as plants and flowers do and that they are all different. The Apple Tree branch looked at the fields and a garden through the open window. There were shabby flowers and plants as well as beautiful ones in the garden.'Those grasses are so pathetic. It's not theirfault they have such ugly and squalid names. However, everything is different in this world.' The apple Tree Branch sympathized and looked at the little flowers blooming next to the fields and streams.At that time, the Sun kissed the Apple Tree Branch, a dandelion in the field, the abundant beautiful flowers, and the shabby fl owers and said, “Yes, there is difference among everything, but throw away yourprejudice and look ahead with a broad point of view. What do you think the poorest plant is?” “A Dandelion. People do not use it even for a bouquet, and it is so mon that people trle it down carelessly. It is not different from a weed at all.”At that time, children ran across the field,rolled about on the lawn, and picked and kissed the dandelions. They made necklaces and garlands of them. They looked wonderful with the golden flowers and green stems.The seeds stuck to the stalks of the dandelions, and they were as beautiful as white feathers. When the children blew out with a puff, the seeds of the dandelions fluttered away as if they had wings.“Look at that! Now, do you und erstand how beautiful those flowers are, and how much pleasure they can give us?” The Sun said to the Apple Tree Branch. “They are only for children.” The Apple Tree Branch answered.At that time, an old lady dug in the ground of the field and picked the roots of the dandelions. She willmake tea, take it to the doctor who makes medicine,and earn money with the roots of the dandelions.“But, beauty is more valuable than those things. Only elected ones can join the Kingdom of Beauty. Not every plant can be the same, just as people can't be the same.” The Apple Tree Branch said.Later some people came into the room. The Countess who brought the Apple Tree Branch to the castle wasone of them. She brought a stalk of dandelion seeds much more carefully than when she brought the Apple Tree Branch.“Look at this. Isn't this beautiful? I will drawa picture of this dandelion with the apple tree branch. Everyone says that the apple tree branch is more beautiful, but this humble dandelion has a different kind of beauty. Even though the apple tree branch and the dandelion look different from each other, they are all beautiful.” The Countess said filled with admiration.The Sun smiled and kissed the shabby dandelion and the Apple Tree Branch. The Apple Tree Branch blushed his own petals with shame.篇2:一分钟英文幽默小故事 A long time ago, there lived a terrible king. The terrible king's wish was that all the people would shake in fear at the sound of his name. The terrible king made the lives of the people in the neighbor land ho rrible. “Here! Take everything!”The terrible king viciously took away all the belongings of the neighbor land. He even scared the poor women and children. The king was not even sorry to the children and women. The terrible king bothered the people of the neighbor land worse and worse everyday. The palace became more and more magnificent.“Put up a statue in the church!” Now theterrible king was ordering the church to place a statue of himself there. However, the ministers could not do that.“ Your majesty may be great, but God is even greater.”The terrible king was being angry. It was because he thought that he was the greatest in the whole world. Then the king was angry. “What! He is greater? Then I will defeat God.”In a loud voice, the terrible king said that he would win against God. That's why he ordered that a magnificent ship be built in order to go to the heaven. He said he would ride the ship to go and defeat God. The terrible king rode the ship up to heaven.From the sky, an angel was sent. However, the terrible king shot over a thousand bullets at the angel. “Ahhhhhh” Being shot, the angel was bleeding. The blood dropped unto the terrible king's ship. The angel's blood was so heavy that the king's ship sank.The terrible king became angry, again. “Build a more stronger ship.” The terrible king wanted abetter ship, so he ordered all the workers in his kingdom to build it. “I will defeat God for sure!”The terrible king went up to heaven, once more. God sent mosquitoes to the terrible king. The terribleking just laughed at the mosquitoes. “Go and bring me the best carpet.”The king made another mand. He thought that if he wrapped the carpet around his body the mosquitoes would not be able to bite him. But one mosquito went inside of the carpet. Because of that one mosquito, the terrible king was rolling around screaming. The terrible king that couldn't even catch one mosquito was a laughingstock for his troops.The Terrible King篇3:一分钟英语幽默小故事 Many ages had now passed away since the Phoenix had been seen in the world. At last he again appeared. Immediately al the different kinds of animals, both birds and beasts, flocked around him.篇4:一分钟英语幽默小故事 Christmas was ing .Mr Smith had no money to buy any presents for hischildren .His wife was ill and he spent a lot of money on her medicine .And the harvest was bad and all his family were going go be hungry the next spring .He was quite worried about it .“We had only a cock ,”said Mrs Smith oneday .“You’d better take it to the town .Sell it there and buy some cakes and sweets for ourchildren .”“It’s a good idea !”the man said and caught the cock the next morning and put it into a box .It was difficult to walk on the road covered with thicksnow .Two hours later he was very tied and wanted to have a rest .He put the box to the ground and sat down .“The air in the box must be close ,”the man said to himself .“I’d better let the cock walk outside for a while ,or it’ll die .”So he put the cock to the ground .When he started again ,he couldn’t catch it any lo nger .“How foolish you are !”Mr Smith called out angrily .“You can herald the break of day at night but you cann’t find the way to the town in the daytime !”篇6:英文短篇幽默小故事精选 Once there were lots of toys in a room. There was a saving box on thedresser, and it was a small piggy bank. The piggy bank was full of bronze, gold and silver coins.One night, the beautiful moonlight poured into the room through a window. The toys in the room were so happy. “Ladies and gentlemen, let's play together on this beautifu l night.” A baby doll with a red velvet ribbon said. “Okay. Let's play a game.” “After that, let's have a tea party.” “Wow, it will beexciting!” All the toys shouted for joy.“Hey, piggy bank! e on and join us. Let's enjoy the party.” “e on.” Everyone inv ited him to the party, but the piggy bank ignored their invitation. Therefore, the other toys enjoyed their party without the piggy bank.A rocking horse put on a knitting ball tail and danced. A rubber ball rolled over, and a toy car drove round everywhere in the room. Everyone seemed so happy.The piggy bank looked down at them playing and watched with an askance look. Then, the playing was over and the tea party began. The piggy bank couldn'tstand not eating when he saw the food, and he came closer step by step to the edge of the dresser.He smelled delicious cookies. He suddenly stuckhis head towards the toys gathered.“Clink!” The piggy bank fell down to the floor. When the piggy bank broke into pieces, the bronze, gold and silver coins inside of him scattered noisily.The other toys were surprised at the piggy bank's fall while they were enjoying the tea party. Everybody looked at the piggy bank with surprise. “Look at that poor piggy bank. He was always proud of himself.”“It's so sad. He could not even enjoy the party.”All the other toys felt sorry about the piggy bank.篇7:英文幽默哲理小故事英文幽默哲理小故事1、如今我要表现得像一位女士One day womens dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.一天,一家百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。
【导语】⼀些幽默的英语故事,能提⾼我们阅读英语的兴趣,从⽽提⾼英语的阅读能⼒。
下⾯是分享的三分钟英语幽默⼩故事三篇。
欢迎阅读参考! 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼀ 推理a fourth-grade teacher was diving her pupils a lesson in logic.”here is the situation,"she said.”a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river,fishing. he loses his balance,falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.his wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. why do you think she ran to the bank?"⼩学四年级的教师在给学⽣们讲逻辑学。
“有这样⼀种情况。
”她说:“⼀个男⼈站在河中⼼的⼀条船上钓鱼。
他突然失去重⼼,掉进了⽔⾥。
于是,他开始挣扎并呼喊救命。
他的妻⼦听到了他的喊声,知道他不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向bank。
请你们告诉我这是为什么?”a girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"⼀个⼥学⽣举起⼿答道:“是不是去取他的存钱?” 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼆ 训兽童a boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat.a woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and,in response,the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”he's just a baby."explained the youngster. "his parents are in here. "opening his briefcase,he brought forth a pair of slightly larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. by this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice,how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.⼀位⼗岁的男孩腿上放着会⽂箱,正坐在⼀辆城市公共汽车上。
英语幽默小故事英语幽默小故事(Humorous English Stories)英语幽默小故事是指那些融入了幽默元素的,令人发笑的、趣味横生的故事。
这些故事往往可以轻松地让人们放松心情,以轻鬆愉快的方式学习英语,增强学习兴趣,提高英语水平。
以下是一些英语幽默小故事,欢迎各位读者阅读。
故事一:The Blind Man and the Fish一条盲鱼夹在一群鱼中间游,在它身旁的一位失明男子问:“鱼啊,你好吗?”“我很好,谢谢您,”鱼回答道:“你想知道其他鱼怎么样吗?”故事二:The Clever Chef旅馆的厨师在晚饭时,上了一盘煮熟的翅膀,但是所有的客人都觉得味道不对。
客人们投诉后,厨师想要一试,品尝后失声惊叫,原来厨师把旅馆老板的卡特车修理的机油加到翅膀里面煮,虽然味道奇特,但确实是高效率的“润滑油”。
故事三:The Secret to Happiness一个医生告诉一个病人,如果他想保持健康和幸福,就应该每天早晨起床时,抱住自己,唱一首赞美之歌,“我就是我,我很棒!”病人试着练习后,很快恢复了健康,找到了幸福。
故事四:The Wise Monkey一个猴子在树上看着一个两个人争吵,最终分不清谁对谁错。
于是这只猴子提议:“为什么不让我来当调解人呢?我将一半的苹果给你,另一半给你,以此来解决这个问题。
”一个人高兴地把自己那半苹果递给了猴子,而另一个人也高兴地接下了自己的那半苹果。
于是猴子便坐下来自己吃了整个苹果。
故事五:The Onions有个瞎眼老人走进了一家餐馆,要了一碗洋葱汤,一口一口地喝着,接下来餐馆里的每个人都一个一个传染性地开了哭泣。
老人停下来,问:“这是怎么回事?”餐馆老板笑着回答:“你切的洋葱让大家哭了出来。
”以上是一些英语幽默小故事,希望这些故事为大家带来欢乐和帮助。
通过这些小故事,人们可以轻松愉快地掌握和学习英语,从而更快地提高英语水平。
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中,阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力,还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面,就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事,并在快乐中学习吧!【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点:Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点:Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁,体现了他的幽默感。
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些幽默英语小故事3分钟,希望大家喜欢这些英语故事!3分钟幽默英语小故事篇1Golfing with cowsA man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室,两个眼睛是青的,脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.医生问他发生了什么。
“额,是这样的,”这个人说。
“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫,她把球打到一个牛群里。
”"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.“我们去找这个球,我四下搜索,发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。
”"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."“我走过去,举起了它的尾巴想看清楚,我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。
英语幽默小故事2008-02-20 17:12I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened? " "A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢?他的耳朵在我衣兜里Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the mon ey I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You' re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy." A Good Boy小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”好孩子“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?“她是个卖糖果的。
”HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie wit hout any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a mom ent and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. T he visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must ha ve better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”“在捕鼠夹上,先生。
”那小男孩说。
好客面试人员给一位前来应征的男士一张履历表,于是就填了这样的信息——姓名:English or Chinese□英文的还是中文的?年龄:Confidential(这是私人问题)身高:Not related to the job(这跟工作有关系么)体重:Varies all the time before lunch or after(随时改变饭前饭后都不同居住地:At what stage of my life please be more specific(那是一个特别的地方,我生命的舞台)电话:Ericsson(爱立信手机)电子邮件:Only give to pretty and rich girls(只留给漂亮和富有的女孩)上班时间:The shorter the better(越短越好)应征职位:A position that has not much to do but surround by pretty and you ng girls(找一个不做什么实事,但能被美女包围的职位)学历:Graduated at the wild chicken university(毕业于一个你找不着的大学语言能力:Fluent in bullshits(侃大山是专长)兴趣:Sleeping and sleeping(睡得天昏地暗)生日:正月初七经历:Fooling around all the time(游戏人生)曾任职位:Decent or not decent□please be more specific(高级的或者低级的都是一种经历)已婚未婚:Still looking for a rich and beautiful girl□hopefully can find in your c ompany(我正在寻找漂亮又富有的女孩,希望在你们公司能找到未来期望:Have a speech on stage and retire as soon as possible(只负责主席台讲话,并且希望尽早退休)希望待遇:Lesser workload the better(比实际工作量拿得多就行A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mic e.Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrifie d that it ran for it's life.Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"老鼠的第二语言也重要一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道:"汪,汪,汪",猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说:"现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。
"T ommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt h imself. T ommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
There was a barber in a developing country who had a little shed at the roa dside to cut hair, and a certain man used to come in regularly for haircuts. O ne day he noticed that a dog was always sitting underneath, near the chair where the customers sat for their haircuts. So the man asked the barber, "Is t hat your dog?" And the barber replied, "No, he always comes every day. It's not my dog. I don't know whose dog it is." Then the customer asked, "So if it's not your dog, you never feed him, right?" And the barber said, "No." And the customer said, "Then why does he always come here every day?" And th e barber answered, "He's waiting in case an ear comes off." A Very Patient Po och一处简陋的乡下,一位理发师傅在路边的小棚子帮人理发。
有位经常来理发的男士,注意到有一只狗老是喜欢坐在客人的座椅旁边,于是他问师傅:那是你的狗吗?师傅答:不,不是我的狗,我不知道那是谁的狗,不过,它每天都会来。
那个客人又问:不是你的狗,那你从来没有喂过它吗?师傅回答:没有。
客人又问:那它为什么每天都来?师傅回答:它在等看看有没有耳朵掉下来。
耐心的狗。