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英语笑话十则以下是为您创作的英语笑话十则，希望能给您带来欢乐！1、 Teacher: ＂John, if you have five apples in your hand and I take away two, how many apples do you have left?＂John: ＂In my hand? None, because you took them away!＂我记得有一次在课堂上，老师讲这个笑话的时候，全班同学都哄堂大笑。
那个场景真的特别有趣，大家笑得前仰后合，有的同学甚至都笑出了眼泪。
就好像那一刻，所有的学习压力都被这轻松的笑话一扫而空。
2、 Teacher: ＂Why are you late, Tom?＂Tom: ＂Because of the sign＂Teacher: ＂What sign?＂Tom: ＂The one that says ＇School Ahead, Go Slow'＂这让我想起了小时候上学，我有个同学也总是找各种奇怪的理由迟到，每次老师听完都是又好气又好笑。
3、 Customer: ＂Waiter, this soup is too salty＂Waiter: ＂Yes, sir It's really salty Maybe the salt went on vacation and brought all its friends＂就像我们平时出去吃饭，如果碰到菜不好吃，大家可能就会这样互相调侃，一下子氛围就变得轻松起来。
4、 Dad: ＂Did you pass your English test?＂Kid: ＂Yes, but I didn't fail it either＂记得有一回，我邻居家的孩子考了个模棱两可的成绩，回家跟他爸爸这么说的时候，他爸爸那一脸无奈的表情，真是让人忍俊不禁。
5、 Patient: ＂Doctor, I have a problem I can't remember anything＂Doctor: ＂How long have you had this problem?＂Patient: ＂How long have I had what problem?＂这种糊涂的对话，是不是像极了有时候我们自己大脑突然短路的瞬间？6、 Teacher: ＂If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have?＂Student: ＂Seven!＂Teacher: ＂How do you make seven?＂Student: ＂Because I already have one at home!＂想到之前参加同学聚会，大家回忆起上学时候的这些趣事，还是会笑得停不下来。
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
1
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
2
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm
still paying for it now."
他的父亲答复说：“儿子，我不知道，因为我现在还在为它付账呢。
”
3
“闺女，香蕉用英语怎么说? ”“banana!”
“苹果呢?” “iPhone!”
“那大苹果呢?” “iPad!”
4
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
超搞笑的简单英语小笑话超搞笑的简单英语小笑话笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
店铺整理了超搞笑的简单英语小笑话，欢迎阅读! 超搞笑的简单英语小笑话篇一When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.我们决定卖掉我们的房子。
于是，我们就在院前的大树上钉了两块牌子，上面写着:“拍卖。
”没过多久，我们的门铃就响了。
一位年轻人问:“你们的树想卖多少钱?”超搞笑的简单英语小笑话篇二Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream parlor.where I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.我和一位朋友来到一家冰淇琳店。
我要了一个我最喜欢吃的巧克力奶油圣代。
当女招待送来我的冰淇淋时，我发现我的冰淇沐是香草的。
我说:“我要的是巧克力的。
”The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate."那位年轻的女士查了一下订单回答说:“你确实要的是巧克力的。
英语小笑话（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如工作总结、工作计划、策划方案、规章制度、合同协议、条据文书、心得体会、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as work summaries, work plans, planning plans, rules and regulations, contract agreements, documents, experiences, teaching materials, complete essays, and other sample essays. If you want to learn about different sample formats and writing methods, please pay attention!英语小笑话英语小笑话（通用20篇）英语小笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁，是一种重要的交际手段。
经典英语小笑话大全爆笑善讲笑活,很受各种社交场台的欢迎,因为人们喜欢与机敏活泼、幽默风趣的人交往。
下面是店铺带来的经典爆笑英语小笑话，欢迎阅读! 经典爆笑英语小笑话篇一寻找出纳员 Looking for a CashierThere was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago."So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now."So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."晚宴上，有位银行家坐在那儿，他的朋友问他：“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳，是吗?”银行家回答：“是的，我们是在找。
”朋友说：“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?”银行家说：“我们确实是雇用了一个人，而我们现在就是在找这个人。
简单幽默英语笑话三则“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来简单幽默英语笑话三则，希望大家喜欢!简单幽默英语笑话1A tiger caught a Deer.一只老虎抓到一头鹿The tiger plans to eat the deer, so the deer screamed: " you can't eat me"老虎打算吃了这头鹿.鹿急忙大叫：“你不能吃我?”The tiger hesitated, feeling very strange, so he asked the deer: " why can't i eat you? 老虎一楞，感到很奇怪，于是问鹿：“为什么我不能吃你?”The deer said:" Because im a protected second class animal in the country, so, no matter what you can't eat me !"鹿说：“因为我是国家二级保护动物，所以，你无论如何也不能吃了我!”The tiger after hearing what the deer said, laughed and said " haha, then i should really eat you !老虎听完笑着说：“呵呵，那么我更应该要吃你了Deer asked : " why ?"鹿说：“为什么?”" because im a first class protected animal in the country" Tiger proudly said“因为我是国家一级动物!”老虎得意地说。
简短有趣的英文笑话大全冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
店铺整理了简短有趣的英文笑话，欢迎阅读!简短有趣的英文笑话篇一好消息和坏消息An artist asked the gallery ownerif there had been any interestin his paintings currently ondisplay.一名艺术家问画廊老板，最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。
"I've got good news and bad news,"owner replied.“这有好消息和坏消息，”老板回答。
"The good news is thata gentleman inquired about your workand wondered if it wouldappreciate in value after your death.“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。
When I told him it would,he bought all fifteen of your paintings.我告诉他你的画会升值，他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。
”"That's wonderful!"the artist exclaimed,"What's the bad news?"“真是太好了”，艺术家是喜形于色，“那坏消息是什么?”With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."带着关心的口吻，画廊老板回答，“买画的人是你的医生”。
简短有趣的英文笑话篇二倒霉的一天There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.一个男人坐在酒吧里，看着自己的酒发呆。
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。
小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
20篇简短英语笑话1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!5. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!7. Why don't oysters donate to charity?Because they are shellfish!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!9. Why don't scientists trust stairs?Because they're always up to something!10. What kind of shoes do thieves wear?Sneakers!11. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!12. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!13. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!14. How do you organize a space party?You planet!15. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems!16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!17. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?All of the fans left!18. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?King Cod!19. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!20. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!总结：以上是20个简短的英语笑话，每个笑话都是一个独立的小故事，通过幽默诙谐的句子展示出逗人发笑的效果。
英语幽默轻松笑话精选推荐文章简短搞笑英文笑话_幽默故事带翻译热度：关于英语小笑话大全热度：又幽默又短的英语笑话热度：幽默经典的英语笑话带翻译热度：幽默经典的英语笑话热度：阅读英语笑话是放松心情的一种好方法，下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默轻松笑话精选，希望大家喜欢!英语幽默轻松笑话精选1:George comes from school on the first of September.9月1号，乔治放学回到家里。
"George, how did you like your new teacher?”asked his mother.“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?”妈妈问。
“I don’t like her, mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.”“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6，可后来又说2加4也得6.英语幽默轻松笑话精选2:Once in a physics examination，Nick finished the first question very soon，while his classmates were thinking it hard.在一次物理考试中当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
The question was: when it thunders why do we see the lightning first，then hear the thunder rolls这个问题是:为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?Nick’s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
英语幽默轻松笑话精选3:In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music，theteacher asked one of the boys，"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”"To be deaf，”replied the boy.“耳聋。
轻松一刻英语笑话三则篇一：趣味英语：笑话三则趣味英语：笑话三则之Do You Know My Work?One night a hotel caught fire，and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nigh clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don’t think of money when they’re afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire，the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don’t know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I’m a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I’m a writer. I’m always telling stories about things that never happened.”【译文】你知道我是干什么的吗?一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。
人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。
如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。
所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。
没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。
” “你不知道我是干什么的。
”另一个说。
“你是干什么的?”“我是警察。
”“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。
他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。
”警察说。
“我是个作家。
我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。
”趣味英语：笑话三则之Who is the laziestFather:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?Jack:I don`t know ,father.Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?Jack:Our teacher ,father.【译文】谁是最懒惰的爸爸：杰克，我今天已经和你的老师谈过了，现在我想问你，谁是你们班上最懒的人?杰克：我不知道，爸爸爸爸：你再好好想想，当别的同学都在读书写字的时候，谁楞在那儿仅仅是看着其他人?杰克：是我们的老师，爸爸趣味英语：笑话三则之What Is a Traitor?Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?”Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.”Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes ove r to yours?”Father：“A convert，my son.”【译文】什么叫叛徒?有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒?”父亲(一位老资格的政治家)：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人。
”有希望的青年人：“那么，离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢?”父亲：“叫改变信仰者。
我的儿子。
”精彩推荐：商务英语篇二：英语幽默笑话三则英语幽默笑话三则学英语不一定要沉闷地看阅读写作文，不如试试读英语笑话吧！不仅有趣，而且尝试讲给朋友听，还可以能提升口语能力呢。
有了趣味性往往能让人学的更有动力，不是吗？第一则：First FlightMr. Johnson had never been up in an aeroplane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small plane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight was the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. The y look as small as ants, don’t they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We’re still on the ground."【第一次坐飞机】约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。
所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。
不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。
他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。
约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？”“那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。
”第二则：CreativeApplying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.【创造性】第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。
当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。
我得到了那份工作。
我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。
第三则：A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nailexactly where the fly had stayed.Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully and slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!【钉子还是苍蝇？】一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。
