《老友记》中英文剧本第一季第三集1

The One With the Thumb[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'All: Ohh. Ouch.Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.Rachel: Since when?Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.Rachel: And everybody knows this?Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.（众所周知）Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.Monica: Uh, Ross.Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!Opening Credits[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.] Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."Chandler: Hey, that was really good!Joey: Thanks! Let's keep going.Chandler: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"Joey: "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke." Chandler: "Smoke away."(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. Joey: What?Chandler: Relax your hand!(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)Chandler: Not so much!Joey: Whoah!Chandler: Hey!Joey: Hey!Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.(Joey tries and visibly winces.)Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here. (Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.Joey: Y'miss it?Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.] Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.(The guys stretch out their fingers.)Joey: That's ridiculous!Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!All: Yeah. Yeah, excellent.Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.Monica: What did they do to you?Phoebe: It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-Ross: Easy.Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again... （撒旦的人又开始活动了……）Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing. Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...Monica: We're with you. We got it.(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)All: Oh! Oh, God!Ross: What is this?!Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years! Chandler: And this- is my reward!Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit!All: Ohhh! Put it out!Chandler: All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coffee.)Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!Monica: Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.Rachel: This Alan again? How's it goin'?Monica: 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun. Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.All: Oh, come on! Come on!Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.Rachel: Well, then can we meet him?Monica: Nope. Schhorry.[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home,and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]Joey: Let it go, Ross.Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.Monica: Do you all promise?All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good? (Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! (Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.) (Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)Ross: Hey, Pheebs.Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!Rachel: What bank is this?(The intercom buzzes.)Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?Alan: (on theintercom) It's Alan.Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.(She opens the door and Alan enters.)Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.Alan: Hi.All: Hi, Alan.Alan: I've heard schho（so）much about all you guyschh! （guys）(Everyone laughs.)[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm? (Silence.)Monica: C'mon!Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with? All: Yeah!Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!Ross: ...What shoe?Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'(Dubious pause.)Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it. Monica: Really!Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression) Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?All: What?Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.All: Yeah...Commercial Break[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]Monica: Hi.. how was the game?Ross: Well..All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?Joey: Alan.Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..Ross: What?Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.] Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl.Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.（我给你带来了字母花片汤）Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?（你把元音挑出来了吗？）Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)Lizzie: Saltines?（咸饼干？）Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.Phoebe: I know.Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?Phoebe: No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.Lizzie: Please, let me do something.Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?（好吧，你给我一瓶苏打水，这样我们就公平交易）Lizzie: Okay.Phoebe: Okay.[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.][Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?（你确定你不想要椒盐脆饼）Phoebe: No, I'm fine.Lizzie: (leaves) See ya.(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)Phoebe: Huh![Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.] Ross: A thumb?!(Phoebe nods.)All: Eww!Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!Chandler: Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five?Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?All: Nooo!(Chandler lights a cigarette.)All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?Chandler: So I have a flaw! （我心理不平衡）Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? （每个字都过分认真的发音）And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?(An awkward silence ensues.)Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? (Phoebe spits out her hair.)Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing. （我认为那很可爱）Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?(Monica laughs and snorts.)Ross: You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.（头发吐出来了，开始攻击我了）(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.)[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?Paula: No.Monica: Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.Ross: If only he were a woman.Rachel: Yeah.(They give each other a dubious look.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.) Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?Rachel: I think he's across the hall.Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)Ross: (finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go.Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-T art?Ross: Hey, I might!Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.All: You're kidding. Oh my God.Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..Rachel: Uh, Joey..Joey: Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..All: Oh! That was Lambchop!Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.Monica: Alright, we have to talk.Phoebe: There it is!Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.（我已经决定和Alan分手了）(They all gasp and clutch each other.)Ross: Is there somebody else?Monica: No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change.Rachel: We didn't change..Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-Joey: Okay!Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were.Monica: I'm sorry..Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-Monica: I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.All: Oh, yeah! Right!Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.Monica: (dubious) I understand.[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]Alan: Wow.Monica: I'm, I'm really sorry.Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved. （我得告诉你，我感到放松了点）Monica: Relieved?Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.Monica: (entering) Hi.All: Mmm.Ross: So how'd it go?Monica: Oh, y'know..Phoebe: Did he mention us?Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)Chandler: ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.All: No no no!Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!Chandler: (returns) Yeah, alright.。

剧本原文：- Hi,guys. - Hey,Phoebe.各位- 菲比- How did it go? - Not so good. -你的约会怎么样? - 不是很好He walked me home and said, "Let's do this again."他送我到地铁然后跟我说我们应该再来一次He said,"Let's do this again." That's good,right?他说要再来一次? 那不是很好吗?Translated,"Let's do this again" means,"You'll never see me naked." 不，他说我们应该再来一次意思是说你将无法再见到裸体的我Since when?什么时候这样子的？Since always. It's,like,dating language.一直都是这样的啊. 就像是…约会用语Like,"It's not you" means,"It is you."比如,“问题不是出在你”代表“就是你”"You're nice" means,"I'll be datin g alcoholics.. “你真好”意思是说我要和皮革族的酒徒约会…and complaining about them to you."然后向你抱怨"We should see other people" means: “我们该试试别人”代表"Ha-ha,I already am!" “我已和别人约会了”Everybody knows this?大家都懂?Cushions the blow.对，善意的谎言Like your parents putting the dog to sleep..没错，就像父母使小孩的狗安乐死时and saying it went to a farm.他们会说它跑到别人家农场去住了That's funny. Because our parents actually did..真有意思,不过我爸妈是真的…Ross?罗斯？Hello! The Milner's farm in Connecticut?米纳他们在康乃迪克州的农场The Milners had this unbelievable farm.米纳他们家的农场好棒They had horses and rabbits to chase.有马还有可供追逐的兔子…And it was..有马还有可供追逐的兔子…Oh,my God! Chi-Chi!噢,芝芝The One With the Thumb六人行第1季第03集飞来横财How does it feel knowing you're about to die?知道自己不久人世有何感受?Warden,in five minutes my pain will be over.华顿，我的痛苦将在五分钟内消除But you'll live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die. 但你得承受埋葬一个老实人的痛苦That was really good!表演得真好是吗？Thanks. Let's keep going.谢了，咱们继续吧So,what do you want from me,Dimon? Huh?好，你要我怎么做，迪默?I just wanna go back to my cell, because in my cell I can smoke.我只想回到我的牢房内因为这样我才可以抽烟Smoke away!你就在这里抽吧I think this is why Dimon smokes in his cell alone.我想这就是迪默自己一个在牢房里抽烟的原因- What? - Relax your hand.什么- 手放轻松Let your wrist go.手腕自然点Not so much!别太过火!All right. Now take a puff.好的，现在吐口烟- Give it to me. - I'm not giving you a cigarette. -给我来- 不，我不能给你烟Now,don't think of it as a cigarette.看着，别把它当成香烟Think of it as the thing that has been missing from your hand.把它当成是你想念多时的东西When you hold it, you feel right.夹着它你感到自在You feel complete.让你感到满足- You miss it? - No,not so much.你很想它? - 没那么严重All right. Now we smoke.好吧，抽烟Oh,my God!噢,爽呀!- Give me that! - No. You've got options. -把它给我- 不，你有几种选择You can smoke like this:你可以像这样抽烟- Chandler - Or hold it in your mouth. -钱德- 或者只是把它叼在嘴里Give me the cigarette!把烟给我- You try. - Thank you.你来试试. - 谢谢Okay,how's this?感觉怎么样？Okay,that's not bad.还不坏All right,when you're finished, it's cool if you flick it. 好的，当你结束的时候, 弹掉它会显得很酷All right,you keep practicing..就这样，不断练习and I'll go put out the sofa.我去扑灭着火的沙发I thought it was foot size.我认为一个人脚的大小No. It's the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb.. 不，是和他拇指尖到食指尖…to the tip of his index finger.的距离相同的That's ridiculous.这太荒谬了Can I use either thumb?随便哪个姆指都行?I'd rather go with the foot theory.我宁可和脚长理论相伴All right. Don't tell me.别告诉我…Decaf cappuccino for Joey.无咖啡因卡布其诺，是乔依的Coffee,black.纯咖啡Latte.拿铁And an iced tea.和冰茶- I'm getting good at this. - Excellent! -我进步神速- 不错Good for me!我真行- You okay,Phoebe? - It's not worth菲此，你没事吧- 我还好It's my bank.我的银行- What did they do? - It's nothing他们对你怎么了?I get my mail and open their monthly "statement."我看我的信件时看见他们的每月通知Easy!别激动And there's $500 extra in my account.我的户头多了五百元Satan's minions at work again!撒旦的奴才又开始活跃了Now I have to go deal with them没错，因为我得到银行找他们处理- What are you talking about? Keep it! - It's not mine. -别傻了，留着自己用吧- 这些钱不是我的If I kept it,I'd be stealing.我留下来就如同偷窃But if you spent it, it would be like shopping.如果你拿来花就如同购物Say I bought a great pair of shoes.好吧，就比方说我买了一双很棒的鞋Know what I'd hear with every step? "Not mine. Not mine. Not mine."你们知道我每踏出一步都会听到什么吗? “不是我的…不是我的…不是我的…”Even if I was happy and skipping,I'd hear:即使我再快乐再雀跃都会听到"Not-not mine. Not-not mine." “不是我的…不是我的…”We're with you. We got it.知道你的意思了I'd never be able to enjoy it. It'd be this giant karmic debt.我无法享受非份之财的乐趣这就像是业报一样Chandler,what are you doing?钱德，你在干什么?What are you doing?你在干什么?Oh,gross!噢,真恶劣!- What is this? - I'm smoking!这是什么- 我在抽烟…You've been so good for three years!你这三年来一直表现良好And this is my reward.这是我的奖励Think about what you went through when you quit.等等，想想你戒烟后是怎么活过来的Forget about you. Think about what we went through!就算忘了你自己,至少想想我们是怎么过来的So this time I won't quit.所以这一次我不再戒了- Put it out! - I'm putting it out!熄掉…- 好吧，我熄掉就是I can't drink this now.拜托，我现在喝不了它了I'm gonna go. I've got a date.我要去换衣服了,我有个约会With Alan again? How's it going?又是亚伦?进展得如何?It's going pretty good. It's nice and we're having fun.进展的还不错.我们在一起很开心When do we get to meet him?我们何时能见到他?Let's see,it's Monday..今天是星期一…- Never. - Come on!永远别想…- 不要这样嘛Not after what happened with Steve.不,不要再来像史提夫那次的事…What do you mean? We love Steve. Steve was ***y!你在说什么?我们都爱史提夫史提夫很性感Sorry.抱歉I don't know how I feel yet. Let me figure it out.我连自己对他有何感觉都还不知道给我一点时间想清楚Then can we meet him?这么说我们可以见他罗?No.不行Sorry.抱歉Joey. Let it go.乔伊.放过它吧Why should they meet him?我为何要让他们见他?I bring a guy home and they're like..我带他回去後，他们就像coyotes picking off the weak members of the herd.就像郊狼一样找弱者下手Listen,as someone who's seen more than her share of bad beef.. 听着，不愉快的场面我见多了I'll tell you, that is not such a terrible thing.告诉你这并不是一件坏事Your friends are just looking after you.你的朋友他们只是关心你I wish that once I'd date a guy they liked.我只希望带一个他们真正喜欢的男人回家You realize the odds of that happening are slimmer..你知道的，他的机会会更渺茫的…- if they never get to meet the guy. - I know. -如果他们根本就没见过这小伙- 这个我知道- Can't I whimper a little bit? - Whimper. -能让我小声的哭一下吗？- 哭Okay,I'm done.不要这样子Let it go,Ross.罗斯,让它去吧!You didn't know Chi-Chi.你又不了解芝芝- Do you all promise? - We promise.你们都保证? - 对，我们保证We'll be good.我们会很乖的Chandler,do you promise to be good?钱德，你保证会很乖?You can come in,but your filter-tip buddy stays outside!你可以进来了,但是你的烟屁股朋友得呆在外面"Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling.亲爱的巴菲小姐谢谢你提醒我们的错误We've credited you $500. We're sorry for the inconvenience.. 我们已将五百元存入你的户头造成不便之处请多包涵and hope you'll accept this football phone..请接受此足球电话…as our gift." Do you believe it?做为礼物你们相信吗？Now I have $ 1000 and a football phone.现在我多了一千元和一个足球电话What bank is this?这是哪家银行?Okay,it's him.他来了- Who is it? - Alan.这位是谁啊？- 亚伦Chandler! He's here!钱德，他来了Do I look okay?我看起来怎么样？One more button.最好再扣上一颗扣子Closed! How about closed? -我是说扣上！扣上怎么样？- I didn't know. - Yeah. -我不太清楚- 好吧Please be good.拜托，别乱来Remember how much you all like me?记得你们有多么爱我Alan,this is everybody. Everybody,this is Alan.亚伦，这是大家各位，他是亚伦I'll call you tomorrow. Thanks.谢谢，我明天再打电话给你Let's let the Alan-bashing begin.开始攻击亚伦吧Who's gonna take the first shot?谁先开始?Come on!来呀I'll go.我来I'm sorry,I can't do this. We loved him.抱歉,我办不到.我们爱他We loved him!我们爱他Wait! We're talking about someone I'm going out with?等等，我们谈的是我约会的对象吗?That pimento trick!那个辣椒的小把戏I'll never look at an olive the same way again.我绝不会再这样看橄榄了And did you notice?你们都有注意到?Know what was great? His smile was crooked.知道他什么最棒吗? 他的微笑有点邪邪的- Yes! Like the man in the shoe! - What shoe?对，就像是鞋里的男人- 什么鞋?From the rhyme.童谣里的There was a man With a crooked smile有个驼背的人有着扭曲的微笑Who lived in a shoe For a while他住在鞋子里，有一阵子So I think Alan..我想亚伦…is the yardstick by which future boyfriends will be measured. 将成为日后男友被丈量的标准Future boyfriends?什么日后男友?- I think this could be "it." - Really?不，我想他就是了- 真的呀?I'd marry him for his David Hasselhoff impression alone. 光凭他学海滩游侠的样子我就想嫁给他了- Know what I like most? - What? -知道我最喜欢他哪一点? - 哪一点？The way he makes me feel about myself.他改变我看待自己的方式How was the game?比赛如何?Well..怎么说呢We won!我们赢啦Fantastic! Question. How is that possible?神奇!提问：这怎么可能呢？- Alan. - He was unbelievable! -亚伦- 他真是太不可思议了Like the cartoon where Bugs Bunny plays every position.他就像兔宝宝一样守每个位置It was first base,Alan. Second base,Alan..但我们有一垒手亚伦、二垒手亚伦…It was like he made us into a team.他使我们形成一个团队We sure showed those Hasidic jewelers a thing or two about softball. 对，我们让对手见识到什么叫垒球Can I ask a question?能问你们一个问题吗?Do you think Alan is sometimes..你是否曾感觉亚伦有时…What?有时怎样?I don't know. A little too "Alan"?我说不上来，太亚伦了Oh,no. Not possible. You can never be too "Alan."不，不可能你不可能太过於“亚伦”It's his innate "Alan-ness" that we adore.没错我们欣赏的是亚伦的内在I,personally,could have a gallon of Alan.我…一个人可以喝下一加仑的亚伦- Hey,Lizzy. - Hey,weird girl.嘿,露西- 嘿,古怪女孩- I brought alphabet soup.我带字母汤来给你- 你挑出有元音了吗?I left in the Y's. Because,"sometimes Y."但我把“Y”留下来了因为有时你会用的上,“Why”(音同Y) - And something else. - Saltines? -我还带了其他东西给你- 咸饼干吗?No,$1000 and a football phone.但愿你喜欢一千元和足球电话What? 什么?什么?Oh,my God!天啊- There's really money in here. - I know. -这里真的有钱- 这我知道What are you doing?你在干什么?I want you to have it. I don't want it.我要给你，我不想要- I have to give you something. - No,you don't -不，我得拿东西给你- 不用了- Do you want my tinfoil hat? - No,you need that. -你要我的锡箔纸帽帽吗? - 不要，因为你需要- It's okay. Thanks. - Let me do something. -不用了，谢谢- 求你,让我表示我的谢意I'll tell you what. Buy me a soda and we're even. Okay?这样吧,你请我喝汽水就扯平了- Okay. - Okay.好吧- 好吧Keep the change.不用找了Thanks,Lizzy.谢谢你，莉兹Want a pretzel?你真的不要椒盐卷饼?- No,I'm fine. Thanks. - See you.不,不用了- 再见A thumb?一个拇指？I know. There it was, just floating..我知道.我打开时它就浮在里面like this tiny little hitchhiker.像个搭便车的Maybe it's a contest. Like "collect all five."或者这是一场竞赛,比如集满五个有奖?Don't do that. Come on!别那样，拜托It's worse than the thumb.这比姆指还糟糕- This is so unfair. - Why is it unfair?这不公平- 为何不公平?So I have a flaw! Big deal!我有缺点行吗?了不起Joey's knuckle-cracking isn't annoying?乔依常扳指关节就不惹人厌?Ross,over-pronouncing every word.罗斯把每个音发得太清楚Monica,who snorts when she laughs. I mean,what the hell is that thing? 摩妮卡大笑时的鼻音搞什么嘛I accept those flaws. Why can't you accept me for this?我接受大家所有的缺点为何大家就不肯接受我的呢?Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody,or just him?扳指关节会惹人厌吗?还是只是他比较烦I could live without it.没有它我也能活的下去Is it a little annoying? Or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? 我觉得有点点烦? 感觉就和看到菲此咬她的头发时一样? Don't listen to him. I think it's endearing.菲此，别介意我觉得那样很可爱Oh,you do,do you?真的?是吗?There's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.咬字清晰又不犯法Indeed there isn't.没错I should get back to work.我该回去工作了Otherwise someone might get what they ordered.否则有人就会拿错他们点的东西The hair comes out and the gloves come off.头发冒了出来，手套滑落下来(全都发泄出来了)Ever go out with a guy your friends really like?你曾和一个你朋友都喜欢的男人约会吗?No.没有I'm going out with a guy my friends really like.我在和一个我朋友都喜欢的男人约会Are we talking about the coyotes here?我们在谈郊狼吗?All right! A cow got through.一头牛居然全身而退Can you believe it?你能相信吗?It's just,you know what?就像是，你知道吗…I just don't feel the "thing."我毫无感觉They feel the thing. I don't feel it.而他们却有感觉.我毫无感觉Honey,you should always feel the thing.你应该要有感觉If that's how you feel about the guy, dump him.如果对他没感觉,就把他甩了- It's gonna be really hard. - He'll get over it. -我知道，但很难- 没错，但他是大人了,他会熬过去的No,he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.不，他没事.我担心的是其他五人- Don't you respect your body? - Don't you see what you're doing? -难道你不尊重你的身体吗? - 你难道不明白自己自己在做什么吗? I've had it with your cancer, emphysema and heart disease.还有你们的癌症肺气肿和心脏病The bottom line is,smoking is cool, and you know it.至少抽烟很酷,这点你们也很清楚Alan wants to speak to you.钱德，亚伦找你Really? He does?真的,他找我?Hey,buddy! What's up?老兄，什么事?She told you about that,huh?她告诉你了?Well,yeah. I have one now and then. Well,yeah,now.对，我偶尔会犯烟瘾对，现在It's not that没那么糟Well,that's true.这倒是真的Gee,you know,no one's ever put it like that before.天啊，没人这么说过Well,okay. Thanks.好的，谢谢God,he's good.天啊，他真神- If only he were a woman. - Yeah. -如果他是个女人,那该有多好- 是的啊Lamb Chop!小羊排!How old is that sock?那袜子到底有多旧了?If I had a sock on my hand for 30 years,it'd be talking too.如果我手上戴着袜子三十年它也会开始说话I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch.有人该换尼古丁贴片了- Where's Joey? - Joey ate my last stick of gum.. -乔依在哪儿? - 乔依吃了我的最後一片口香糖so I killed him.所以我就把他杀了Do you think that was wrong?你认为这样不对吗?- I think he's across the hall. - Thanks. -我想他在对面- 谢谢There you go.好啦I'm alive with pleasure now.我又重拾快乐的生活Phoebe,do you want the rest of that Pop-Tart?菲此，你还想吃那个吗?Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?谁想吃剩下的?Hey,I might.我要I'm sorry.抱歉The soda people gave me $7000 for the thumb.汽水公司那些笨蛋给我七千元当姆指的补偿金And on my way over here I stepped in gum.天啊，七千元别闹了我回家路上又踩到口香糖What is up with the universe?这世界到底怎么了?- What's going on? - It's just nice when we're together. -怎么啦？- 只是觉得大夥儿在一起很温馨It's nicer when everyone gets to wear underwear.如果大家都有穿内裤会更好Please,guys,we have to talk.大家，我有话要说Wait! I'm getting a deja vu.等等，我有似曾相识的感觉No,I'm not.不,好像没有- We have to talk. - There it is!好吧,我们需要谈谈. - 瞧,来了Okay,it's about Alan.是有关亚伦的事Speaking of which,tell him we're on for the Renaissance Fair. 关于什么，告诉他文艺复兴已经开始了Before you get into that, there's something you should know. 在此之前，有件事应该让你们知道There's really no easy way to say this.真的很难启齿I've decided to break up with Alan.我决定和亚伦分手Is there somebody else?有第三者?No,it's just..没有you know,things change. People change.只是世事难料，人都会变We didn't change.我们没变So that's it? It's over?就这样?结束了?Just like that?就这样结束了You let your guard down. You start to care about someone,and.. 放下防御，真心对待一个人…- I can go on pretending - Okay! -我可以继续伪装…- 可以啊No.不That wouldn't be fair to me,Alan, or to you.这样对我不公平,对亚伦也不公平对你们大家都不公平Well,who wants fair?是吗?谁要公平?I just want things back,you know, the way they were.我只想要回失去的，回到往日- I'm sorry. - Oh,she's sorry. I feel better. -我很抱歉- 她说抱歉，我舒坦多了I can't believe this!我真是不敢相信With the holidays coming up. I wanted him to meet my family. 连续假期就要来临了我要带他去见我的家人I'll meet someone. There'll be other Alans.我会找到新欢的，另一个亚伦Yeah,right!是呀,另一个- Are you guys gonna be okay? - We'll be fine. -你们不会有事吧? - 我们会好的We're just gonna need a little time.我们只是需要一点时间I understand.我了解- Wow. - I'm really sorry. - Wow -我真的很抱歉Yeah,I mean,I'm sorry too.我也很抱歉- But I'm a little relieved. - Relieved? -我有点松口气了- 松了一口气?Yeah,well,I mean, I had a great time with you.对，我是说我和你在一起很开心I just can't stand your friends.只是我受不了你朋友Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats? 记得我们到中央公园划船吗?That was fun.没错，那很有趣He could row like a Viking.他划得就像维京人一样So how'd it go?情况如何?You know.你知道的Did he mention us?他有提到我们吗?He says he's really gonna miss you guys.他说他会想念你们的- Rough day,huh? - You have no idea. -悲惨的一天? - 你无法体会Come here.过来宝贝- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. - No! - No!我受够了，我要抽烟- 不行…I don't care! I'm weak!我管不了那么多了,我投降,我是懦夫If you never smoke again, I'll give you $7000.如果你不再抽烟我就给你七千块。

/v/b/18391408-1577369782.html老友记Friends第一季第3集0：00 - 3：351.counter n.柜台2. Can I be served here please? /Can I get some service here please? 能够为我服务吗?3. It's a good thing right? 这是一件好事对吗？4. politely turn you down礼貌地拒绝refuse sb./ turn sb. down 拒绝某人5. You'll never do sth. /You would have never done sth. 你将永远不会做某事If he didn't come to my place today, I would have never seen him in my life.如果他今天没有来，他将永远不会见到我。

6. since when 从什么时候开始I have never seen my mom since I was born. 我妈妈很早以前就去世了7.since always 从来都是这样，一直都是这样8. date 约会dating language 约会术语I have a date with sb./ date sb. 和某人约会9. It's not you. 这不是你的问题（隐含意：就是你的问题）10. You are such a nice guy. 你真的是一个好人。

11. I'll do sth. =I'll be doing sth. 我将要做某事UGG boots雪地靴real leather / genuine leather 真皮alcohol 不可数n.酒精，醉鬼complain about sb to sb else. 和某人抱怨某人（about后是抱怨对象）I'll be dating leather-wearing alcoholics, and complaining about them to you.我要去和一个穿着皮衣的醉鬼约会,我向你抱怨他们。

108 The One Where Nana Dies Twice[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.)Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.Chandler:Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?Chandler: Yes please.Shelley: Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's-Chandler: He's a he?Shelley:Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that? Rachel: Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be...Chandler: You did?Rachel:Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.Chandler:Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?Monica: I did.Phoebe: Yeah, I think so, yeah.Joey: Not me.Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.) Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me? Phoebe: I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny...Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you e ver think that about him? All: Yeah! Right!Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.All: Yes. Absolutely. A quality. 108 （祖母）娜娜死了两回帅哥，如何?萤光灯下的脱水日本面我能有多好?问你一个问题你目前没有约会的对象吧?我遇见一个和你是绝配的人绝配或许是个问题你若说共同独立或自我毁灭的话…周六想要有个约会的对象吗?当然，拜托了他人帅而且风趣，他…他?糟了，我以为…你是个有为的青年很好，雪莉我要到马桶去把自己冲掉再见听完后我没心情吃面了这不荒谬吗?你能相信她会有这样的想法吗? 我第一次见到你时我以为你是你真的这样认为?对，但后来你在菲比的生日会上一直盯着我的胸部我想你大概不是吧你们第一次看见我时也是这样认为?我是我不觉得我也是虽然大学时代的苏珊这样认为开什么玩笑?你有告诉她我不是吗?没有没有，因为我也想跟她约会我告诉她你和伯尼是一对因为他也喜欢她所以这简直是太神奇了是什么原因?我不知道Chandler:Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.(Phone rings; Monica gets it)Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome. Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.Ross:(to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana. [Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.) Ross: So, uh, how's she doing?Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.Monica: How-how are you, Mom?Mrs. Geller:Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?Monica: What?Mrs. Geller: What's different?Monica: Nothing.Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover. Monica: Oh God!(They hug.)[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.] Monica: The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse. Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants. Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)Nurse: Mrs. Geller?(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.) Ross: She looks so small.Monica: I know.Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now. Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)Ross: Bye, Nana.(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)Monica: Ross!(Ross runs out too.)Mrs. Geller: What is going on?! 因为你既聪明又风趣罗斯也是聪明又风趣你们有想过他是吗?是哦到底是为什么?我也说不上来但你就是有那种调调没错调调?说得好我还担心你们看不出呢瑞秋，是保罗从罗马打来的天啊，从罗马打来(意大利语)了不起，他从罗马打来我也可以我到罗马去就是了摩妮卡，你爸打来的你能长话短说吗?我正和罗马通电话爸，怎么了?我的天罗斯，是奶奶你们还好吧?她的情况如何?医生说只剩几小时了妈，你还好吧?我?我还好真高兴见到你们来你的头发怎么了?什么?看起来有点不同.没什么变化呀.或许是这个缘故她真是令人难以置信放松点看来我们得在这儿待一段时间了免不了还要谈你男友和工作的事我的老天她皮包里有发霉的钱币真呕心你们知道我喜欢什么吗?她的人工袋糖她总是从餐厅里偷走不只是餐厅，我们家也一样格雷太太她看起来好小我知道Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..Mrs. Geller: What?Ross: She's not- past, she's present, she's back.Aunt Lillian: (reentering) What's going on?Mr. Geller: She may have died.Aunt Lillian: She may have died?Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.) Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)Nurse: This almost never happens!(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)Ross:Now she's passed.[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.] Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?Rachel:(exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.(Monica and Ross enter.)Rachel: So, um, did she...Ross: Twice.Joey: Twice?Phoebe: Oh, that sucks!Joey: You guys okay?Ross:I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh...Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.Ross: Nono, she's gone.Monica: We checked. A lot.Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her. Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil) Phoebe: Thanks!Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.Joey:Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?Phoebe:Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. (Hands back the pencil)[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]Ross: I thought it was gonna be a closed casket. 至少她现在有阿公和婶婶陪伴别了，奶奶再见，奶奶罗斯护士怎么了？护士说她已过世了，实际上不是什么?她还没完全过世她还活着，她回来了怎么回事?她可能死了她可能死了?我们也想知道我进去看看这种事几乎不可能发生她过世了我必须要知道是我的头发?对，正是你的头发你有一头同性恋的头发她怎么样了?两次两次?你们还好吧?说不上来，好诡异我知道她已过世但我感觉...或许是因为她还没有不，她过世了我们检查了好多遍或许人不会真正过世我妈死后我偶尔会感觉她就在身旁还有黛此我初中最要好的朋友在打迷你高尔夫时被闪电击中用那枝黄色铅笔时我总感到一股强烈的”心灵感应”我好想念她来，菲此，你要吗?谢谢不客气，早上刚削好的我不信这一套人死了就是死了死了就成了虫的食物Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?Ross: (sarcastic) I don't see why not.(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)Ross: Here's my retainer![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.] Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-Monica: Dad!Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.Monica: You what?Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun. Monica: Define fun.Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...Monica:...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.Mr. Geller:Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.Monica: That's probably what they'll say.Mr. Geller: I'd like that.[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]Chandler: Hey, gorgeous.Shelley: (sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um- Chandler:No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake.Shelley: Oh! Okay! Phew!Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?Shelley: I dunno, uh... you just have a-a...Chandler: ...Quality, right, great.Shelley: Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great couple.Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?Shelley: What? He's cute!Chandler: Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll.Shelley: Is Brian...?Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.Shelley: Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league. Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I 钱德看起来像个同性恋? 我不知道此人是谁但绝对不是黛比我以为要用密封的棺木这并不代表她不能看起来体面一点孩子，你想你能进去吗? 当然可以我的牙齿矫正器我在想我走的时候爸听我说我走的时候我要海葬什么?我要海葬好像挺有意思的定义一下那一天你们会玩得很开心的你们会乘着船带着午餐…然后把你的尸体丢人大海真是有意思每个人都自认为了解我他们都说杰克太一成不变了或许我死后他们会说海葬,哈?他们大概会这么说吧希望如此美女昨天的事很抱歉我别担心相信我，显然别人也犯了相同的错误你认为是我的缘故?我说不上来你就是有那种调调，是哦真可惜因为你和罗尔本来很登对罗尔?会计部门的罗尔你觉得我们很配?有何不可?他很帅他不像布莱恩布莱恩是不是...?重点是如果你想替我配对我希望你会挑他我想你配不上布莱恩对不起你认为我配不上他?could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?Aunt Lillian: No.Ross:I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy. Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)Aunt Lillian: Wait! We need shoes!(Ross falls back inside)Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?Aunt Lillian: Could we see something in a slimmer heel?Ross:(forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.Aunt Lillian: No, it really sh ould be burgundy.Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back. (He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)Ross: Oh my God..Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?Ross: Yeah, just... just Nana stuff.(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n' Lo's rain down on him)Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?Monica: Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings. Rachel: Oh, you-you mean your earrings?Phoebe: What'd I say?Rachel: (sticking her foot out) Hm-m.Monica: Are these the shoes?Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.Ross: What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...?Joey: (entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go? Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?(They all leave.) 因为我配得上他相信我我真的配不上这一个?不是我已让你们看过每件衣服除非你们想让她永远穿着柠檬黄长裤配上紫红色衣服不论我们选什么她都会说我们选错了没错，就选紫红色吧不错的选择，我要出来了等等，还缺鞋子这一双如何?这是一双日鞋她去的地方大家会穿得更正式?能找鞋跟细一点的鞋吗?我找不到紫红色的晚鞋不过有双银色的鞋或许适合不行，一定要紫红色除非我们另找一件套装不,等等我看看后面或许有天呀你没事吧，孩子?没事，只是奶奶的东西各位如何?准备好了没?早上妈来电叫我别扎头发你知道我的耳朵并不是我最漂亮的部位吗?有时候我认为是抱歉，我迟到了我找不到我的”耳圈”你是指你的耳环?我刚说什么?你穿这一双?对，保罗从义大利寄来的我们这儿没卖鞋子?早安，准备走了没?穿戴整齐后我们不是都好看许多?人模人样的刚刚的仪式简单而隆重可不是吗过来，心肝你该使用晚霜了[Scene: The cemetary, after the funeral.]Monica: It was a really beautiful service.Mrs. Geller:It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream. (Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notice s Chandler watching)Joey: What?Chandler: Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger.Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV) Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral?Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception. Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)Rachel: Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.Phoebe: God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)All: God! Ross!Ross: I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised... [Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.] Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.Ross: What, what is it?Phoebe: You missed a belt loop.Ross: Oh! No-n-Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm.Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)Chandler: Oh, no-Andrea: Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter.Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is. (They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great.Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh?Ross:Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice...Ross: ...Chandler! 怎么了?没什么，你的外套很吵瞧，巨人队对牛仔队你在葬礼时看足球赛? 不，比赛还没开始我要在接待会上看比赛你真是个恶劣的人不，保罗送我的新鞋希望没坏你没事吧?多美好的一天啊什么?我是指天气对，空气，树木即使奶奶已过世就好像...罗斯，你还好吧?罗斯…我没事只是我最大的梦魇终于成真别担心我只是看看你是否肌肉痉挛怎么了?你的皮带穿孔掉了一个是痉挛来，孩子我擦伤时都用这个妈，谢谢抱歉，我叫安朵拉桃乐丝的女儿我叫钱德我不知道桃乐丝是谁看看谁出现了感觉如何?感觉好多了…那些药丸可真有效对，不是第一次那两颗而是后来那两颗我爱你们大家你们是最棒的我爱我的妹妹我爱菲此钱德，我爱你听着，如果你想当同志就当吧我不在乎你说得对瑞秋我最爱你了Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.Monica: Thank you. They're yours.Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's.(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)Mr. Geller:Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was. [Scene: Central Perk, the gang are looking at old photos.] Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?Ross: That little naked guy would be me.Rachel: Aww, look at the little t hing.Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler: Who are those people?Ross: Got me.Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.Rachel:Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile) Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.Closing Credits[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]Chandler: Hey, Lowell.Lowell: Hey, Chandler.Chandler: So how's it going there in Financial Services?Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?Chandler:Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not.Lowell: I know. That's what I told her.Chandler: Really.Lowell: Yeah.Chandler: So- you can tell?Lowell: Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar. Chandler: So you don't think I have a, a quality?Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.Chandler: He is?Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)Chandler:Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.End 这个光屁股的是谁?那个人就是我瞧那个小东西对，那是我的小弟弟成熟点行吗?那些人是谁?可把我问倒了中间那一个是奶奶我看看我和大伙儿摄于在爪哇乔家摩妮卡你和你奶奶长得一模一样当时她几岁?1939年…39年24或25岁他们好像玩得很开心看…光屁股的摩妮卡我看看不，还是我我在尝试新事物罗威钱德会计部门的情况如何?简直一团乱你呢?很好我不知道雪莉如何对你说我这个人但是我不是（同性恋）.我知道，我也是这样告诉她的真的?你看得出来?十之八九我们有某种…雷达这么说你认为我没那种调调代表男同志发言我得说没有对了，你朋友布莱恩,他是他是?而且你配不上他我配不上他我可以得到布莱恩如果我愿意你好,布莱恩。

123 The One With the Birth[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.] Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.Monica: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet? Ross:I don't know, but when I spoke to h er, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.(Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.)Joey: Do we have to know about that?Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars. Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.Ross:God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab. Rachel:Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction. (Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.) Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?Chandler: You have to pick your moments.(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?Ross: She's not even here yet.Monica: What's with the guitar?Phoebe: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical.(Carol and Susan arrive.)Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. Ross:Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunky s.Chandler: I used to have that bumper sticker.(Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.)Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.Opening Credits[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]Ross: Stopped for a Chunky.Carol: Let it go, Ross.Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)Ross: (weakly) No.(Carol's doctor, Dr. Franzblau arrives.)Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing? Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi. 123 本出世强森大夫，七线电话她还没来她将生下我的小孩却还没来不会有事的她的羊水破了吗?我不知道她和我通话时说她已分泌粘液我们需要知道这一些吗?乔伊，你有小孩时你会怎么做?我会在等待室中送雪茄乔伊准备让他孩子出生在50年代的电影中我不敢相信她可能会在计程车中生产罗斯，冷静点第一次收缩收费二块钱之后每收缩一次收五毛钱什么?钱德这样说时就没事你得选对时间我错过了吗?没有，她根本还没出现干嘛带吉他来?我想我们会在这儿待一阵子来点音乐你到底上哪儿去了?我们中途在礼品店待了一会儿买什么?我想买填充玩具苏珊想买”矮胖”苏珊要矮胖?她就快生小宝宝了是小宝宝不能中途下车买矮胖我过去也用那个汽车贴纸懂我意思吗?下车买矮胖别介意了，罗斯我多了一个，想要吗?不想我最喜爱的父母团队好法大头我了解你们在考虑生宝宝的事我知道你已怀胎九月这是好的开始收缩的情况如何?我喜欢每一阵都像是子宫中的小舞会我喜欢每一阵都像是子宫中的小舞会制片：陶德史帝芬59秒，石英表瑞士石英表我能喝饮料吗?碎冰，只能喝碎冰护士站有我去拿Dr. Franzblau:So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus. Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.Ross: 59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?Dr. Franzblau: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.Ross: I'll get it.Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.Ross: I got it—I'm getting it!(They both leave just as Rachel en ters the room, holding a cup.) Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.Carol: Th anks.Rachel: And if you need anything else, I—(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)—do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.Rachel: Oh, that's funny![Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]Monica: I want a baby.Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.Chandler: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.(A young pregnant woman enters.)Lydia: Knick fan?Joey: Oh, yeah.Lydia: Oh, boy, do they suck.Joey: Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa. Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.Joey: Oh yeah? And who do you like?Lydia: The Celtics.Joey:The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah! Joey:Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father!Lydia: There is no father.Joey: Oh, oh, oh, sorry. 不，我去，马上回来不，我去…我想你或许想喝碎冰谢谢如果还需要别的…我没见过吧? 我叫瑞秋格林卡萝前任丈夫妹抹的室友幸会，我是法大夫你室友哥哥前妻的医生真有趣我要个宝宝今晚不行，亲爱的我明天得早起起来，我们去买咖啡好吧，因为我们没做过投…或是不进也行尼克迷?他们烂透了女士看，你的尤恩，漂亮他连坐在船上都投不进水里是吗?你支持谁?是吗?你支持谁?他们无法投进船…反正他们很烂闭嘴，今年是重建年•，我帮你孩子的爹我们这儿需要爸爸…他没有爸爸抱歉没关系，我没事这边洼所有的孕妇似乎都往这儿走他们又小又肉摸起来感觉很好不久他们长大后就会开始恨你现在他们对你大吼大叫你不知原因为何你不知原因为何谢谢，罗斯用来叫你停止的好吧看，是双胞胎，好可爱不公平，我一个都没有他们怎会有两个?你也会有的是吗?什么时候?好吧，告诉你我们40岁时如果都还单身我们就一起生一个，如何?为何我40岁时还单身?不，这只是假设假设为何我到40岁时还单身?Lydia: Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh!Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.Lydia: Ok.(Joey accompanies Lydia to a hospital room.)[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]Phoebe: (singing)They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,you cry and you cry and you cry.And you cry and you cry and you cry...(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.Phoebe: Ok.(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? Chandler: You'll get one.Monica: Oh yeah? When?Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler: No, no, no.Monica:What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.Monica: Well?Chandler:Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)(Rachel enters, in a formal dress.)Rachel: Hey.Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.Monica: Did you go home and change?Rachel:Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. F ranzblau been by?Monica: No, I haven't seen him.Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?Chandler:Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?Rachel: Yeah, why?Chandler:No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with 假设为何我到40岁时还单身?我有不适婚姻的毛病吗?这降落伞是个背包看你，盛装登场你回家换衣服?今天是个重要的日子我想漂亮一点法大夫…不，我们还没见到他他在哪儿?他应该在这儿的万一小孩需要他怎么办?瑞秋，你和医生到底是怎么了难道你爸也是个医生?对，干嘛问?没理由没理由不，我不找他我不管这是不是他的孩子他是个大浑蛋不，我不是一个人乔伊在这儿什么意思?乔伊什么?什么意思?乔伊什么?对，等等，她要跟你谈对，等等，她要跟你谈对，是我不，我们只是朋友对，我单身25岁，演员她不擅于讲电话孩子的爸怎么了?如果有人即将生下我的孩子我会想知道的尼克迷你对爸爸的观点我不在乎或许吧祝你好运保重了你知道塞尔提克有什么问题?他们让球员经营球队这不是真的他们让球员经营球队这不是真的他们让球员经营球队这不是真的你们会窖死我的剩15秒14，13，12数4央点你会没事，记得这样做全是为了裘帝将全力集中在裘帝裘帝到底是谁?你儿子不，我不要我儿子叫裘帝我们协议过，我儿子叫洁米洁米是苏珊第一任女友的名字所以我们决定还是用裘帝这是什么意思?his eyes)[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]Lydia:Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?Joey: Tribbiani.Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.Joey: (takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?Lydia: She's not much of a phone person.Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.Lydia: Maybe you should.Joey: Good luck, and uh, take care, huh?(He leaves, but then returns a moment later.)Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.Joey: Oh, it is.Lydia: It isn't.Joey: It is.Lydia: Isn't![Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.] Ross: Bre athe.Susan: Breathe.Ross: Breathe.Susan: Breathe.Ross: Breathe.Susan: Breathe.Carol: You're gonna kill me!Ross: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...Carol: Count faster.Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?Susan: Your son.Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.Carol: Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie. 我们根本没讨论过裘帝我们讨论过洁希寇帝，迪伦时提到一下我脚抽筋我脚抽筋你和她睡觉我来处理抽筋你不行够了，你们都给我出去什么?是她引起的…我不管，我想生下小孩你们在这儿根本是愈帮愈忙卿走卿走出去出去怎么了?有东西爆炸了她破水了冷静点，行吗?她破水了?什么意思?什么是破水?什么是破水?拜托，都是你的错怎么说?为什么都是我的错?你们在一起之前卡萝从未把我赶出房间是吗?我出现之前有许多事卡萝没做过是吗?我出现之前有许多事卡萝没做过知道你的问题出在哪儿吗?你因我而感到岌岌可危我说的每件事都是问题我因你而感到岌岌可危?你到底在说什么?够了，进去，快我简直不敢相信你们两个小宝宝即将诞生在这栋建筑他听见的第一个声音不该是你们的吵闹声所以你们别再吵了对，苏珊别让我再发一次脾气我不喜欢我自己这样谁想听反讽的事?救命啊…我的宝宝就要诞生你们都退后你们都退后你们都退后找到人之前我们都会在这儿陪你的你告诉我巴黎的事真棒真的?那家糕饼店就在我住的饭店隔壁真的?那家糕饼店就在我住的饭店隔壁Ross: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.Carol: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.Ross: I got it.Susan: I got it.Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps. Susan: No, you don't.Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.Ross: Why?Susan: He started it!Ross: No, you started it.Susan: You did!Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.Ross: But...Carol: Now go!Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...Carol: Out!(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...Lydia: Oh, no.(Joey looks down at Lydia.)Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?Joey:(panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]Ross: Please. This is so your fault.Susan: How, how is this my fault?Ross:Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me. Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?Susan: Yes.(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes dow n the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the 加油，莉迪亚，你办得到加油，莉迪亚，你办得到我只是…我只是…你想干嘛?将门吸开?你想干嘛?将门吸开?最后他们终于发现他们的尸体不，妈，一切顺利对，罗斯很好他在其他地方不，他不见了不，你们不用飞回来我唯一的机会?什么意思?别再说了，行吗?我才26岁我连小孩的事都没想过你上哪儿去了?我刚生了个小孩了不起说不定，或许是一小时也可能是三小时别请放心，她的状况良好告诉我，目前有对象吗?没有，现在没有你呢?没有，我不容易找到对象对，我听过有关帅哥大夫的传间没有，真的我想和我工作有关我试着不让工作影响我的生活如果你是我你从事什么工作?我是服务生难道你下班回家后不会觉得…如果我再看见咖啡杯…我懂我去看看你朋友你怎么会知道我在这儿?你妈打电话告诉我的这就是她?不，这是我捡来的抱歉，让你自己承担这一切我不是自己一个我有大夫，护士和善心人士知道谁赢吗?尼克胜十分他们好烂是吗?他们没那么差劲可恶…都是你的错这本来是我今生最快乐的日子我儿子即将出世我应该在那儿的yelling, just stop it!Ross: Yeah, Susan.Phoebe:Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this. (Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?Commercial Break[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.] All: Help!Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.] Carol: Are they here yet?Rachel:No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?Carol: Ok.Rachel: Ok?Carol: Ok.Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.Dr. Franzblau:It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.[Scene: Lydia's Room, Joey is helping her deliver.]Joey:Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's— (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was just—yeah, right. Push! Push! [Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?Ross: Help! Help!Phoebe:(singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help![Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet. (Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)Chandler: Where have you been?Joey: Oh, just had a baby. 而不是被困在这儿我所爱的女人就要生我和你一样期待已久不，相信我没人像我如此期待讽刺的是你们将带着宝宝回家讽刺的是你们将带着宝宝回家大家都知道你是我是谁?这世上有父亲节，母亲节却没有女同志节每天都是女同志节精彩愿意解释吗?因为我小时候我爸离开我妈过世，我继父入狱我根本得不到父母的爱如今他有如此爱他的三个父母甚至为谁给他的爱最多而吵架而且他根本还未出世他真是全天下最幸福的宝宝抱歉，你们正在吵架他们在哪儿?他们很快就会来对，他们不会错过的对，放轻松才开九公分宝宝没那么快出来你吓到我了谁愿意帮我吗?她想掏出我的心脏这下可好，有人看见乳头吗?十公分，开始用力不要再用力了他们还没好抱歉，我无法叫宝宝等他们来抱歉，我无法叫宝宝等他们来通气口开了我是宾我是医院工人宾宾前来抢救了宾，准备好没?脚给我数到数到数到你看见什么?我看见黑暗的通气孔等等，真的是黑暗的通气孔菲此，门开了等等，你们忘了脚我们来了你们上哪儿去了说来话长Chandler: Mazel tov![Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]Dr. Franzblau: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you? Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. Rachel: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.Dr. Franzblau:No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do.Rachel: Oh.Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?Rachel: I'm a waitress.Dr. Franzblau: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.Rachel: Ok. That's fine. (takes her earrings out)[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]Lydia: So how did you know I was even here?Guy: Your mom called me. So is this her?Lydia: No, this is a loaner.Guy: I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.Lydia: Yeah, they're not so bad.(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.) [Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.Susan:The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. 卡萝，我要你不断用力抱歉，我能用这个…这里人太多了而且待会儿又会多一个所以不是前任丈夫和女同志终身伴侣者请出去再见了…祝好运…我问你，要卡萝的女同志终身伴侣才行吗?出去他的头露出来了让我看看…是头…好大卡萝，你是怎么办到的?于事无补你做得很好…抱歉你看见什么?我何时能见到头，肩膀和手臂都出来了看，是手指，肚子是男的百分百男孩百分百男孩他出来了他是个人他是个人他像谁?像我叔叔艾德，被果冻包着像我叔叔艾德，被果冻包着各位，他好漂亮谢了，菲此不准大吼我们仍需要为他取个名字宾如何?我喜欢宾宾，这名字不错你们之前怎没提过这名字?刚想出来的这就是我们不在时做的事我们能进来吗?当然，请进我知道各位，向你们介绍一个人他叫宾宾，这是大家宾，这是大家苏珊，他看起来像你谢谢天啊，没想到我们之啤有人生宝宝了Ross: We're here!Carol: (irked) Where have you been?Ross: Long story, honey.Dr. Franzblau:All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need—(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!All: Good luck!(Everyone heads for the door.)Chandler:(to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?Nurse: Out!Dr. Franzblau: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.Ross:Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!Dr. Franzblau: You're doing great, you're doing fine.Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.Susan: What do you see? What do you see?Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.Susan: Oh, look at that.Carol: What does he look like?Ross: Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o.Carol: Really?Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful! Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs!(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)[Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.]Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy. Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?Susan: I like Ben.Carol:Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? Ross: We uh, we just cooked it up.Susan: That's what we were off doing.(Monica opens the door.)Monica: Hi.Ross: Hey.Monica: Can we come i n?(The whole gang enters.)Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.Susan: Thanks.Rachel:Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. Chandler: I know, I still am one of these.Monica: Ross, can I?(Monica holds Ben.)Ross: The head, the head. You gotta...Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.Closing Credits[Scene: The Hospital, the camera is placed as though it were Ben's eyes.]Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)(Chandler comes into the picture.)Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)(The rest of the group come into the picture.)Monica: He is so amazing.Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)Joey: He doesn't do muc h, does he?Ross: No, this is pretty much it.(long moment of silence)Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee?All: Yeah.Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)Phoebe: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.(The screen fades to black.)End。

大家好Hi, guys!嘿菲比嗨Hey, Pheebs! Hi!嘿对了约会怎么样Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?不是很好他送我到地铁然后说Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said "我们应该再来一次"'We should do this again!'怎么啦他说要再来一次那不是很好吗What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? 不他说我们应该再来一次Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again'代表你将无法再见到裸体的我means 'You will never see me naked'.什么时候这样子的Since when?一直都是这样这是约会用语Since always. It's like dating language.就像"不是你的问题"代表"就是你"Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'."你真的挺好的"代表Or 'You're such a nice guy' means"我要和穿皮衣的酒鬼约会"'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics然后再跟你抱怨他们"and complaining about them to you还有还有 "我们该试试别人"代表Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means "哈哈我已和别人约会了"'Ha, ha, I already am'.-大家都懂 -对放轻松啦- And everybody knows this? - Yeah. Cushions the blow.没错就像你小时候Yeah, it's like when you're a kid,父母把你的狗狗送去安乐死and your parents put your dog to sleep,却对你说它跑到别人家农场去住了and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.真有意思不是我是说That's funny, that, no, because,我爸妈是真的把我家的狗uh, our parents actually did, uh,送别人农场去养了send our dog off to live on a farm.罗斯Uh, Ross.米尔纳家在康乃迪克州的农场What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut?米尔纳家The Millners,他们家的农场好棒they had this unbelievable farm,有马还有可供追逐的兔子and horses, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- ..... 哦我的天芝芝Oh, my God, Chi Chi!"知道自己不久于人世有何感受""So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?""华顿我的痛苦将在五分钟内消失"Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over.而你要知道But you'll have to live with the knowledge that你让一位诚实的人丢掉了性命you sent an honest man to die."嘿表演得真好Hey, that was really good!是吗谢了咱们继续吧Yeah? Thanks! Let's keep going.好你要我怎么做呢达蒙Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"我只想回到我的牢房内"I just wanna go back to my cell.因为在那里我可以抽烟'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."抽去吧"Smoke away."我想这就是达蒙独自在牢房抽烟的原因I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. -什么 -手放轻松手腕自然点- What? - Relax your hand! Let your wrist go.别太过火Not so much!好吸一口Alright, now try taking a puff.很好Okay.算了不对把烟给我Okay. No. Give it to me.你休想我不会给你烟的No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.没关系啦It's fine, it's fine.你到底想不想演这个角色拿来Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.很好现在All right, now.别把它当成是支烟Don't think of it as a cigarette.把它当成是你思念已久的东西Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. 当你夹着它时感到自在感到满足When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete. -你很想它吗 -没不怎么想- Y'miss it? - Nah, not so much.好现在抽一口Alright, now we smoke.哦爽死了Oh..my..God.不对不对他们说No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance跟从拇指尖到食指尖的距离相等from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger. 这太荒谬了That's ridiculous!我可以用另一个拇指么Can I use.. either thumb?好吧别告诉我别告诉我Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me!无咖啡因卡布其诺是乔伊的Decaf cappucino for Joey..黑咖啡Coffee black..拿铁Late..和冰茶and an iced tea.-我进步神速 -是啊真厉害- I'm getting pretty good at this! - Yeah. Yeah, excellent. 我真行Good for me!菲比你没事吧Y'okay, Phoebe?嗯不只是没啥Yeah no- I'm just- it's, it's not even worth...是我存钱的银行It's my bank.他们对你怎么了What did they do to you?也没怎么只是好吧It's nothing, it's just- Okay.我当时正在看信一打开他们的每月I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly,所谓的 "通知"you know, STATEMENT-别激动别激动Easy, easy...发现我户头里多了五百元and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.撤旦的爪牙又来祸害人间啦Oh, Satan's minions at work again...没错因为我得到银行找他们解决处理Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. 你脑子中风了吗自己留着呗What are you talking about? Keep it!这钱不是我的不是我赚来的It's not mine, I didn't earn it,我留着就如同偷窃if I kept it, it would be like stealing.对可如果你把它花了就如同购物Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!好吧就比方说我买了一双很棒的鞋Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes.你们知道我每踏出一步都会听到什么吗Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took?不是我的'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.'即使我再快乐再雀跃都会听到And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping-I'd hear不是我的不是我的不是我的'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'... 我们知道你的意思了We're with you. We got it.很好我只是没办法享受这些钱Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it.因为这就像是沉重的因果报应一样It would be like this giant karmic debt.钱德勒你在干什么Chandler, what're you doing?嘿你在干什么hey,what are you doing?哦我的天Oh! Oh, God!这是什么What is this?!我在抽烟我在抽烟在抽烟I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.我真不敢相信你Oh, I can't believe you!你一直以来都表现良好都三年了You've been so good, for three years!这是我的奖励And this- is my reward!等一下Hold on a second, alright?想想你戒烟后是怎么活过来的Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. 所以这一次我不再戒了Okay, so this time I won't quit!熄掉Ohhh! Put it out!好吧我熄掉就是熄掉了All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out.不是吧现在我没法喝Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!好了我去换衣服了有约会Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.又是艾伦进展如何So is it Alan again? How's it goin'?进展得还不错'S'going pretty good, y'know?感觉很好我们在一起很开心It's nice, and, we're having fun.我们何时能见到他So when do we get to meet the guy?对啊Yeah!我看看今天是星期一Let's see, today's Monday...永远别想Never.拜托别这样啦Oh, come on! Come on!-不史蒂夫那次之后就别想了No. Not after what happened with Steve.你在说什么我们都爱史蒂胡What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! 史蒂胡很性感Schhteve was schhexy!..不好意思Sorry.我自己都还没清楚对他的感觉呢Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. 给我一点时间想清楚Just give me a chance to figure that out.那么到时我们就可以见他了吗Well, then can we meet him?凭什么我得让他们见他啊I mean, why should I let them meet him?我带个人回家I mean, I bring a guy home,五分钟之内他们便会蜂拥而上and within five minutes they're all over him.他们就像丛林狼一样I mean, they're like- coyotes,专挑兽群中的弱者下手picking off the weak members of the herd.我说身为一位阅尽天下极品男的人Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef,我告诉你这事没什么大不了的I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing.再说了他们毕竟是你的朋友Come on now, they're your friends,-他们只是关心你 -我知道- they're just looking out after you. - I know.我只是希望至少有那么一次I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home能带一个他们真正喜欢的男人回家that they actually liked.那么你应该很清楚如果不让他们见面Well, you do realise that the odds of that happening are a little slimmer -这种几率就愈发渺茫- if they never get to meet the guy.别再想了罗斯Let it go, Ross.是啊你又不认识芝芝Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.你们都保证了吗Do you all promise?对我们保证Yeah! We promise!我们会很乖的We'll be good!钱德勒你保证会很乖吗Chandler? Do you promise to be good?你可以进来You can come in,但你的过滤嘴小朋友得呆在外面but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!嘿菲比Hey, Pheebs.亲爱的布菲小姐'Dear Ms. Buffay.谢谢你提醒我们的错误Thank you for calling attention to our error.我们已将五百元存入你的户头We have credited your account with five hundred dollars.造成不便之处请多包涵We're sorry for the inconvenience,此橄榄球电话是免费赠品and hope you'll accept this football phone...敬请笑纳as our free gift.'你们相信吗Do you believe this?!现在我多了一千块和一个橄榄球电话Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone! 这是哪家银行What bank is this?注意他来了Hey. It's him.-哪位 -我是艾伦- Who is it? - It's Alan.钱德勒他来了Chandler! He's here!拜托要乖千万要乖Okay, please be good, please.记得你们有多么爱我Just remember how much you all like me.嗨艾伦这是大家Hi. Alan, this is everybody.各位这是艾伦Everybody, this is Alan.嗨艾伦Hi, Alan.我对各位已经如雷贯耳了I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! 谢谢我明天再打电话给你Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow.好了开始艾伦批斗大会吧Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. 谁先第一个发动啊Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?来嘛C'mon!我先来...I'll go.我们先从他一直都很Let's start with the way he kept picking at-抱歉我办不到不行You know, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do it. 我们很喜欢他We loved him.爱死他了他太棒了Loved him! Yeah! He's great!等一下我们谈的确定是Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that我现在约会的对象吗I'm going out with?-是啊Yeah!你们都有注意到And did you notice...?知道他什么最棒吗Know what was great?他笑起来有点歪The way his smile was kinda crooked.对就像是鞋中人一样Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!鞋什么...What shoe?是童谣里的From the nursery rhyme.有一个歪歪男笑起来歪歪的'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, 他住在鞋子里然后Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'我认为艾伦...So I think Alan将成为衡量will become the yardstick against which未来所有男友的准绳all future boyfriends will be measured.什么未来男友What future boyfriends?不我觉得就是他了No, no, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.-真的呀Really!仅凭他学戴维·哈塞霍夫的样子Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his连我自己都想嫁给他David Hasselhof impression alone.我以后在派对上也要表演这个You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? 知道我最喜欢他哪一点吗You know what I like most about him, though?哪一点What?他让我重拾了自信The way he makes me feel about myself.比赛结果如何How was the game?Well..我们赢啦谢谢太棒啦WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!太好了我有一个问题That's fantastic! I have one question:这怎么可能呢How is that possible?是艾伦他真是太不可思议了Alan.He was unbelievable.他就像兔巴哥动画片中He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon一人包揽所有位置的兔巴哥一样where Bugs is playing all the positions, right,只不过取而代之的是but instead of Bugs it was一垒手艾伦二垒艾伦三垒first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...这就像是他让我们团结一心I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. 对我们让那些犹太教的珠宝商Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers领教了什么叫垒球a thing or two about softball..Nice!能问你们一个问题吗Can I ask you guys a question?你是否曾感觉艾伦可能有时D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..怎样What?我说不上来有点太艾伦了...I dunno, a little too Alan?不不可能Well, no. That's impossible.他不可能太过于艾伦You can never be too Alan.没错我们欣赏的就是那内在的艾伦感Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. 我一个人就可以喝下一加仑的艾伦I personally could have a gallon of Alan.-嘿莉琪 -嘿怪女孩- Hey, Lizzie. - Hey, Weird Girl.我给你带了字母汤I brought you alphabet soup.元音字母都挑出去了吗Did you pick out the vowels?对但我把"Y"留下来了Yes. But I left in the Ys.因为 Y是半元音嘛'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y".我还带了其他东西给你Uh, I also have something else for you.咸饼干吗Saltines?不但你想要一千块钱和一个橄榄球电话吗No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? 什么天哪天哪这里真的有钱What? Oh, my God, Oh, my God, there's really money in here. 我知道I know.怪女孩你在干嘛啊Weird Girl, what are you doing?别我要送给你我不想要No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.不我得送点东西给你No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.不没关系你不用No, that's fine, you don't..你要我的锡纸帽吗Would you like my tin-foil hat?不你需要它No. 'Cause you need that.不用了谢谢No, it's okay, thanks.求你了让我表示一下吧Please, let me do something.好这样吧Okay, alright, I'll tell you what,你请我喝汽水我们就扯平了好吗you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay? -好吧 -很好- Okay. - Okay.不用找了Keep the change.谢谢你莉琪Thanks, Lizzie.你真的不要椒盐卷饼吗Sure you don't wanna pretzel?-不不用了谢谢 -回见- No, I'm fine.Thanks. - See ya.大拇指A thumb?!我知道我知道I know! I know,我一打开它就浮在里面I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, 像个迷你搭便车的人like this tiny little hitch-hiker!{\an8}[竖起拇指表示搭便车]没准这是某种竞赛呢Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know?集满五个有奖Like, collect all five?-你们想看看吗 -不要- Does, um, anyone wanna see? - Nooo!-别这样 -快熄掉- Oh, hey, don't do that! - Cut it out!这比大拇指更糟糕It's worse than the thumb!嘿这很不公平啊Hey, this is so unfair!怎么就不公平了Oh, why is it unfair?我有个缺点又怎样So I have a flaw! Big deal?乔伊常扳指关节就不惹人厌吗Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? 还有罗斯把每个音发无比清楚And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? 莫妮卡大笑时的鼻音And Monica, with that snort when she laughs?这算搞什么嘛I mean, what the hell is that thing?我接受大家所有的缺点I accept all those flaws,为什么你们就不肯接受我呢why can't you accept me for this?扳指关节真的很惹人厌吗...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody,我觉得有一点点烦Well, I-I could live without it.是只是一点点惹人厌Well, is it, like, a little annoying,还是像菲比咬她的头发一样惹人厌or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?别听他的菲比Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right?我觉得那样很可爱I think it's endearing.哦真的是吗Oh, "you do, do you"?咬字清晰又不犯法You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.确实没错"Indeed there isn't"...我该回去工作了I should really get back to work.没错不然客人们就会拿到Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get他们真正点的东西了what they actually ordered.刚吐出头发就戴上拳击手套了哈The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.你有没有曾经和一个Did you ever go out with a guy你所有朋友都喜欢的男人约会your friends all really like?没有No.好吧我在和一个我朋友都喜欢的男人约会Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like. 等一下你说的是那群丛原狼吗Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here?一头牛居然全身而退All right, a cow got through!你能相信吗Can you believe it? ...你知道吗我没怎么动情Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing.他们倒是挺有感觉I mean, they feel the thing,而我却没有来电悸动I don't feel the thing.亲爱的你应该永远保持鸡动Honey.. you should always "feel" the thing. 听着莫妮卡如果你对他没感觉Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, 就把他甩了呀Monica, dump him!我知道但真的很难I know.. it's gonna be really hard.他是大人了他会熬过去的Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.不他没事No, he'll be fine.我担心的是其他五人It's the other five I'm worried about.你对自己的身体就没一点尊重吗Do you have any respect for your body?你难道不清楚这对你身体的危害吗Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?喂我受够你们了Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys还有你们念叨的癌症肺气肿和心脏病and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. 可无论怎样抽烟很酷你们懂的The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.钱德勒艾伦的电话他要找你Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.真的吗他找我Really? He does?老兄什么事Hey, buddy, what's up!她告诉你了Oh, she told you about that, huh.对我偶尔会犯烟瘾Well, yeah, I have one now and then.对现在也是Well, yeah, now.没那么糟Well, it's not that big- ..这倒是真的Well, that's true,..天啊以前从没人说过这样的话Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before.好的谢谢Well, okay, thanks!天啊他真神God, he's good.-如果他是个女人那该有多好 -是啊- If only he were a woman. - Yeah.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}儿童节目"小羊排"Ooh, Lambchop.那袜子到底有多旧了How old is that sock?如果我手上戴着袜子三十年If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years它也会开口说话it'd be talking too.好吧有人该换尼古丁贴片了Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch.嘿乔伊在哪儿Hey. Where's Joey?乔伊吃了我的最后一片口香糖Joey ate my last stick of gum,我把他灭了so I killed him.你认为这样不对吗Do you think that was wrong?-他可能在对面 -谢谢- I think he's across the hall. - Thanks.好啦There y'go.哦我又重拾快乐的生活了Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.菲比你还想吃那个小烤饼吗菲比Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? 谁想吃剩下的小烤饼Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?我要吃Hey, I might!抱歉I'm sorry. ..那白痴汽水公司给了我Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me七千块当姆指的补偿金seven thousand dollars for the thumb.-天啊 -七千块- Oh, my God. - 7 thousand dollars?然后在来这的路上我踩到了口香糖And on my way over here, I stepped in gum.这世界到底怎么了...What is up with the universe?!怎么啦What's going on?没什么只是觉得正好大家都在Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together. 如果大家都有穿内裤会更好Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.. -乔伊你那里 -天呀- Uh, Joey.. - Oh, God!-好 -哦是小羊排- Okay.. - Oh! That was Lambchop!好了我们必须得谈谈Please, guys, we have to talk.等等我有似曾相识的感觉Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...不不对No, I'm not.好吧我们需要谈谈Alright, we have to talk.瞧来了There it is!是有关艾伦的事Okay. It's-it's about Alan.有件事应该让你们知道There's something that you should know.真的很难启齿I mean, there's really no easy way to say this..我决定和艾伦分手I've decided to break up with Alan.有第三者Is there somebody else?没有没有只是因为No, nononono.. it's just..只是世事难料人是会变的y'know, things change. People change.我们没变啊We didn't change..这就完了没戏了吗So that's it? It's over?就这么结束了吗Just like that?当你放下一切防备You know.. you let your guard down,开始真心对待一个人时我真的you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- -我可以继续伪装 -好啊- Look, I- I could go on pretending. - Okay!不这样对我不公平No, but that wouldn't be fair to me,对艾伦不公平it wouldn't be fair to Alan.对你们大家也不公平It wouldn't be fair to you!是吗谁要公平Yeah, who wants fair?我只想事情回到之前的样子I mean, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. 我很抱歉I'm sorry..她还抱歉我感觉好多了Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!我真是不敢相信I just can't believe this!假期就要来临了I mean, with the holidays coming up-我还想带他去见我的家人I wanted him to meet my family-我会找到新男友的会有另一个艾伦I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.是啊好吧Oh, yeah! Right!你们不会有事吧Are you guys gonna be okay?我们会好起来的Hey hey, we'll be fine.我们只是需要一点时间We're just gonna need a little time.我了解I understand.我真的很抱歉I'm, I'm really sorry.我也很抱歉Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry too.但说实话我也觉得稍稍解脱了But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.解脱Relieved?对我和你在一起很开心Yeah, well, I had a great time with you..只是我受不了你朋友I just can't stand your friends.记得我们到中央公园划船吗Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. 那真好玩That was fun.是啊他划得就像维京人一样Yeah. He could row like a viking.情况如何So how'd it go?嗯你知道Oh, y'know..他有提到我们吗Did did he mention us?他说他会想念你们的He said he's really gonna miss you guys.这一天很不好过吧You had a rough day, huh?-那还用说Oh, you have no idea...来C'mere.-我受够了我要抽烟 -不行- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. - No no no! 我管不了那么多了I don't care, I don't care!我投降我是懦夫我要抽烟Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! 我一定要抽烟I've gotta have the smoke!如果你不再抽烟我就给你七千块If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars! 好吧没问题Yeah, alright.。

103 The One With the Thumb[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!' All: Ohh. Ouch.Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.Rachel: Since when?Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'. Chandler:Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.Rachel: And everybody knows this?Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.Monica: Uh, Ross.Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!Opening Credits[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.] Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"Joey:"Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."Chandler: Hey, that was really good!Joey: Thanks! Let's keep going.Chandler: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"Joey: "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."Chandler: "Smoke away."(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.Joey: What?Chandler: Relax your hand!(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)Chandler: Not so much!Joey: Whoah!Chandler: Hey!Joey: Hey!Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.(Joey tries and visibly winces.)Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.Joey: Y'miss it?Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.(The guys stretch out their fingers.)Joey: That's ridiculous!Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!All: Yeah. Yeah, excellent.Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.Monica: What did they do to you?Phoebe:It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-Ross: Easy.Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again...Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'... Monica: We're with you. We got it.(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmicdebt.Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.) All: Oh! Oh, God!Ross: What is this?!Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!Chandler: And this- is my reward!Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit!All: Ohhh! Put it out!Chandler: All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coffee.) Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!Monica: Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.Rachel: This Alan again? How's it goin'?Monica: 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun.Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.All: Oh, come on! Come on!Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry. Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.Rachel: Well, then can we meet him?Monica: Nope. Schhorry.[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked. Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.] Joey: Let it go, Ross.Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.Monica: Do you all promise?All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! (Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)Ross: Hey, Pheebs.Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!Rachel: What bank is this?(The intercom buzzes.)Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?Alan: (on the intercom) It's Alan.Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me. (She opens the door and Alan enters.)Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.Alan: Hi.All: Hi, Alan.Alan: I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!(Everyone laughs.)[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?(Silence.)Monica: C'mon!Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?All: Yeah!Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!Ross: ...What shoe?Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'(Dubious pause.)Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it. Monica: Really!Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?All: What?Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.All: Yeah...Commercial Break[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]Monica: Hi.. how was the game?Ross: Well..All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?Joey: Alan.Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball.. Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. Ross: What?Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.] Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl.Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)Lizzie: Saltines?Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.Phoebe: I know.Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?Phoebe: No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.Lizzie: Please, let me do something.Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?Lizzie: Okay.Phoebe: Okay.[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.][Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?Phoebe: No, I'm fine.Lizzie: (leaves) See ya.(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)Phoebe: Huh![Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]Ross: A thumb?!(Phoebe nods.)All: Eww!Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!Chandler: Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five?Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?All: Nooo!(Chandler lights a cigarette.)All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?(An awkward silence ensues.)Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? (Phoebe spits out her hair.)Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?(Monica laughs and snorts.)Ross: You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered. Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.) [Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?Paula: No.Monica: Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through! Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.] Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you. Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.Ross: If only he were a woman.Rachel: Yeah.(They give each other a dubious look.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.] Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.) Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong? Rachel: I think he's across the hall.Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)Ross: (finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go.Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?Ross: Hey, I might!Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.All: You're kidding. Oh my God.Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on? Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..Rachel: Uh, Joey..Joey: Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..All: Oh! That was Lambchop!Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.Monica: Alright, we have to talk.Phoebe: There it is!Monica:Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.(They all gasp and clutch each other.)Ross: Is there somebody else?Monica: No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change.Rachel: We didn't change..Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-Joey: Okay!Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. Monica: I'm sorry..Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-Monica: I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.All: Oh, yeah! Right!Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.Monica: (dubious) I understand.[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]Alan: Wow.Monica: I'm, I'm really sorry.Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.Monica: Relieved?Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.] Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun. Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.Monica: (entering) Hi.All: Mmm.Ross: So how'd it go?Monica: Oh, y'know..Phoebe: Did he mention us?Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.) Chandler: ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.All: No no no!Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!Chandler: (returns) Yeah, alright.End。

103 The One With the Thumb[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'All: Ohh. Ouch.Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.Rachel: Since when?Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.Rachel: And everybody knows this?Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.Monica: Uh, Ross.Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!Opening Credits[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."Chandler: Hey, that was really good!Joey: Thanks! Let's keep going.Chandler: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"Joey: "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."Chandler: "Smoke away."(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone[ 本帖最后由zhuzi2nn8 于2008-7-14 20:23 编辑]zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:16smokes in his cell alone.Joey: What?Chandler: Relax your hand!(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)Chandler: Not so much!Joey: Whoah!Chandler: Hey!Joey: Hey!Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.(Joey tries and visibly winces.)Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.Joey: Y'miss it?Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.(The guys stretch out their fingers.)Joey: That's ridiculous!Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!All: Yeah. Yeah, excellent.Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.Monica: What did they do to you?Phoebe: It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-Ross: Easy.Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again...Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:17Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...Monica: We're with you. We got it.(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)All: Oh! Oh, God!Ross: What is this?!Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!Chandler: And this- is my reward!Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit!All: Ohhh! Put it out!Chandler: All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coffee.) Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!Monica: Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.Rachel: This Alan again? How's it goin'?Monica: 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun.Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.All: Oh, come on! Come on!Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.Rachel: Well, then can we meet him?Monica: Nope. Schhorry.[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:17Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]Joey: Let it go, Ross.Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.Monica: Do you all promise?All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)Ross: Hey, Pheebs.Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!Rachel: What bank is this?(The intercom buzzes.)Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?Alan: (on the intercom) It's Alan.Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.(She opens the door and Alan enters.)Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.Alan: Hi.All: Hi, Alan.Alan: I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!(Everyone laughs.)[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?(Silence.)zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:17Monica: C'mon!Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?All: Yeah!Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!Ross: ...What shoe?Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'(Dubious pause.)Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.Monica: Really!Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?All: What?Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.All: Yeah...Commercial Break[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]Monica: Hi.. how was the game?Ross: Well..All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?Joey: Alan.Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:18Ross: What?Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.]Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl.Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)Lizzie: Saltines?Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.Phoebe: I know.Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?Phoebe: No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.Lizzie: Please, let me do something.Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?Lizzie: Okay.Phoebe: Okay.[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.][Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?Phoebe: No, I'm fine.Lizzie: (leaves) See ya.(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)Phoebe: Huh![Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]Ross: A thumb?!(Phoebe nods.)zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:18All: Eww!Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!Chandler: Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five?Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?All: Nooo!(Chandler lights a cigarette.)All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs?I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?(An awkward silence ensues.)Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?(Phoebe spits out her hair.)Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?(Monica laughs and snorts.)Ross: You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.)[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?Paula: No.Monica: Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:20Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema andyour heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.Ross: If only he were a woman.Rachel: Yeah.(They give each other a dubious look.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.)Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong? Rachel: I think he's across the hall.Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)Ross: (finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go.Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?Ross: Hey, I might!Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb. All: You're kidding. Oh my God.Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..Rachel: Uh, Joey..Joey: Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..All: Oh! That was Lambchop!Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.Monica: Alright, we have to talk.Phoebe: There it is!Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.(They all gasp and clutch each other.)Ross: Is there somebody else?Monica: No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change.Rachel: We didn't change..Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-Joey: Okay!Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were.Monica: I'm sorry..Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-Monica: I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.All: Oh, yeah! Right!Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.Monica: (dubious) I understand.[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]Alan: Wow.Monica: I'm, I'm really sorry.Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.Monica: Relieved?Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]zhuzi2nn82008-7-14 12:28Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.Monica: (entering) Hi.All: Mmm.Ross: So how'd it go?Monica: Oh, y'know..Phoebe: Did he mention us?Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)Chandler: ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.All: No no no!Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!Chandler: (returns) Yeah, alright.第一季103End。

103 The One With the Thumb[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!' All: Ohh. Ouch.Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me Rachel: Since when?Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is yo Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholic Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already Rachel: And everybody knows this?Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and t Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off Monica: Uh, Ross.Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbe Opening Credits[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the know Chandler: Hey, that was really good!Joey: Thanks! Let's keep going.Chandler: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"Joey: "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."Chandler: "Smoke away."(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.? He fumbles and drops the lighter.? Th Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.Joey: What?Chandler: Relax your hand!(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)Chandler: Not so much!Joey: Whoah!Chandler: Hey!Joey: Hey!Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.(Joey tries and visibly winces.)Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing f Joey: Y'miss it?Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. ( [Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb t (The guys stretch out their fingers.)Joey: That's ridiculous!Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing All: Yeah. Yeah, excellent.Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters.? She sits down with Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.Monica: What did they do to you?Phoebe: It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their mont Ross: Easy.Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again...Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing. Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd Monica: We're with you. We got it.(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke. All: Oh! Oh, God!Ross: What is this?!Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!Chandler: And this- is my reward!Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit!All: Ohhh! Put it out!Chandler: All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coff Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!Monica: Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.Rachel: This Alan again? How's it goin'?Monica: 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun.Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.All: Oh, come on! Come on!Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry. Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figureRachel: Well, then can we meet him?Monica: Nope. Schhorry.[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within fiv Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked. Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.] Joey: Let it go, Ross.Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.Monica: Do you all promise?All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign.? It starts to rain and he taps on the window.) Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! (Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying Ross: Hey, Pheebs.Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited y Rachel: What bank is this?(The intercom buzzes.)Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?Alan: (on the intercom) It's Alan.Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me. (She opens the door and Alan enters.)Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.Alan: Hi.All: Hi, Alan.Alan: I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!(Everyone laughs.)[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's l (Silence.)Monica: C'mon!Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do t All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?All: Yeah!Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!Ross: ...What shoe?Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who liv (Dubious pause.)Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfrie Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.Monica: Really!Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?All: What?Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.All: Yeah...Commercial Break[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly Monica: Hi.. how was the game?Ross: Well..All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?Joey: Alan.Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is pla Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball.. Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. Ross: What?Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.]Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl.Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have somethin Lizzie: Saltines?Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really mon Phoebe: I know.Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?Phoebe: No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.Lizzie: Please, let me do something.Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?Lizzie: Okay.Phoebe: Okay.[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a [Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?Phoebe: No, I'm fine.Lizzie: (leaves) See ya.(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)Phoebe: Huh![Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]Ross: A thumb?!(Phoebe nods.)All: Eww!Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this Chandler: Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five?Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?All: Nooo!(Chandler lights a cigarette.)All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying (An awkward silence ensues.)Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? (Phoebe spits out her hair.)Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?(Monica laughs and snorts.)Ross: You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.) [Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?Paula: No.Monica: Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through! Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you. Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you abouRachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.Ross: If only he were a woman.Rachel: Yeah.(They give each other a dubious look.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.] Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.)Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong? Rachel: I think he's across the hall.Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)Ross: (finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go.Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?Ross: Hey, I might!Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the t All: You're kidding. Oh my God.Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?! Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on? Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..Rachel: Uh, Joey..Joey: Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..All: Oh! That was Lambchop!Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.Monica: Alright, we have to talk.Phoebe: There it is!Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there' (They all gasp and clutch each other.)Ross: Is there somebody else?Monica: No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change.Rachel: We didn't change..Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-Joey: Okay!Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. Monica: I'm sorry..Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted Monica: I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.All: Oh, yeah! Right!Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.Monica: (dubious) I understand.[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]Alan: Wow.Monica: I'm, I'm really sorry.Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.Monica: Relieved?Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.Monica: (entering) Hi.All: Mmm.Ross: So how'd it go?Monica: Oh, y'know..Phoebe: Did he mention us?Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.) Chandler: ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.All: No no no!Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand doll Chandler: (returns) Yeah, alright.End103 飞来横财嗨,各位!嘿, 菲比! 嗨!嘿. 哦,哦,你的约会怎么样?不是很好,他送我到地铁然后说:"我们应该再来一次!"哦,喔.怎么啦?他说要再来一次?那不是很好吗?不，他说我们应该再来一次代表你将无法再见到裸体的我什么时候这样子的?一直都是这样,这是约会用语.就像...”问题不是出在你”代表”就是你””你真好”代表”我要和皮革族的酒徒约会然后向你抱怨."还有还有,”我们该试试别人”代表”我已和别人约会了”大家都懂?对,这是善意的谎言没错，就像父母使小孩的狗安乐死时他们会说它跑到别人家农场去住了真有意思不过我爸妈是真的把我们的狗送到别人农场去养了呃, 罗斯米纳家在康乃迪克州的农场米纳家他们家的农场好棒有马还有可供追逐的兔子…噢,我的天,芝芝“知道自己不久人世有何感受?”“华顿，我的痛苦将在五分钟内消除但你得承受埋葬一个老实人的痛苦！”嘿,表演得真好!是吗? 谢了，咱们继续吧好，“你要我怎么做，迪默，嗯？”我只想回到我的牢房内因为这样我才可以抽烟你就在这里抽吧.我想这就是迪默自己一个在牢房里抽烟的原因什么?手放轻松,手腕自然点别太过火-哦! 嘿!-嘿!好, 吐口烟给我来不,我不能给你烟无所谓的，你到底想不想演这个角色?好，别把它当成是支烟，把它当成是你想念多时的东西夹着它你感到自在你感到满足你很想它没那么严重.抽烟噢,爽呀!不,不是这样的.他们说和拇指尖到食指尖的距离一样这太荒谬了随便哪个姆指都行?别告诉我…无咖啡因卡布其诺是乔依的纯咖啡拿铁和冰茶我进步神速对, 对, 真好我真行菲此,你没事吧我还好只是太不值得了…我的银行他们对你怎么了?我看我的信件时看见他们的每月“通知”别激动...我的户头多了五百元撤旦的奴才又开始活跃了没错，因为我得到银行找他们处理别傻了，留着自己用吧这些钱不是我的不是我赚来的我留下来就如同偷窃如果你拿来花就如同购物好吧，就比方说我买了一双很棒的鞋你们知道我每踏出一步都会听到什么吗?不是我的…即使我再快乐再雀跃都会听到不是我的…我们知道你的意思了我无法享受非份之财的乐趣这就像是业报一样钱德，你在干什么?嘿，你在干什么?噢,我的天!这是什么?!我在抽烟…我真不敢相信你你这三年来一直表现良好这是我的奖励等等，想想你戒烟后是怎么活过来的所以这一次我不再戒了熄掉…好吧,我熄掉就是拜托，我现在喝不了它了.(难道待会可以-_-!)我要去换衣服了我有个约会又是亚伦?进展得如何?进展的还不错.我们在一起很开心我们何时能见到他?对啊!今天是星期一…永远别想…哦, 来嘛!不,不要再来像史提夫那次的事…你在说什么?我们都爱史...提夫史...提夫很性...感抱歉我连自己对他有何感觉都还不知道给我一点时间想清楚那么到时我们可以见他罗?不行，抱歉我为何要让他们见他?我带他回去后五分钟他们便蜂拥而上他们就像郊狼一样找弱者下手不愉快的场面我见多了告诉你这并不是一件坏事他们是你的朋友他们只是关心你我知道我只希望带一个他们真正喜欢的男人回家你知道如果他们没见过他机会就更渺茫-不要这样子,罗斯,别再想了!你又不认识芝芝.你们都保证?对，我们保证我们会很乖的钱德，你保证会很乖?你可以进来了,但你的滤嘴屁股朋友得呆在外面.嘿, 菲比亲爱的巴菲小姐谢谢你提醒我们的错误我们已将五百元存人你的户头造成不便之处请多包涵请接受此足球电话…作为礼物你们懂意思吗?现在我多了一千元和一个足球电话这是哪家银行?他来了是谁啊?亚伦钱德，他来了拜托，别乱来记得你们有多么爱我嗨，亚伦，这是大家各位，这是亚伦嗨嗨，亚伦我对各位已如雷灌耳谢谢，我明天再打电话给你好了，开始攻击亚伦吧谁先开始?来呀我来我们从他一直...…抱歉，我办不到...我们爱他…他太棒了...等等，我们谈的是我约会的对象吗?是啊你们都有注意到?是啊...知道他什么最棒吗?他的微笑有点邪邪的对，就像是鞋里的男人什么鞋?童谣里的有个驼背的人有着扭曲的微笑他住在鞋子里，一阵子我想亚伦将成为日后男友被丈量的标准什么日后男友?不，我想他就是了真的呀?光凭他学海滩游侠的样子我就想嫁给他了”我要去参加派对”知道我最喜欢他哪一点?哪一点？他改变我看待自己的方式嗯...嗯...嗨！比赛如何?怎么说呢.我们赢啦! 谢谢! 太棒啦!太好了! 我有一个问题: 这怎么可能呢?亚伦真是太不可思议了他就像兔宝宝卡通里,兔宝宝守每个位置我们虽没有兔宝宝但我们有一垒手亚伦、二垒手亚伦、三垒手亚伦...他使我们形成一个团队对，我们让对手见识到什么叫垒球没错能问你们一个问题吗?你是否曾感觉亚伦有时…有时怎样?我说不上来，有点太亚伦了?不，不可能他不可能太过于亚伦没错我们欣赏的是亚伦的内在我个人可以喝下一加仑的亚伦嘿,露西嘿,古怪女孩我带字母汤来给你你挑掉有母音吗?但我把“Y”留下来了因为有时你会用的上,为什么(Why,音同Y)我还带了其他东西给你咸鱼吗?不, 但你想要一千元和足球电话吗?什么?天啊，这里真的有钱怪女孩，你在干什么?我要给你，我不想要不，我得拿点东西给你不，不用了你要我的锡箔纸帽帽吗?不要，因为你需要它不用了，谢谢求你让我表示我的谢意好，这样吧你请我喝汽水，我们就扯平了，好吗？好吧好吧不用找了谢谢你，莉兹你真的不要椒盐卷饼?不,不用了,谢谢再见一个拇指?!我知道我打开时它就浮在里面像个搭便车的或者这是一场竞赛集满五个有奖?你们想看看吗?不,不,不...嘿，嘿，别那样！拜托！这比拇指更坏！嘿，这很不公平啊！为何不公平?好，我有个缺点，怎么了?乔依常扳指关节就不惹人厌?罗斯把每个音发得太清楚摩妮卡大笑时的鼻音搞什么嘛？！我接受大家所有的缺点为什么大家就不肯接受我的这个缺点呢?扳指关节很惹人厌吗?我觉得有点点烦那声音只是一点点惹人厌...还是像菲此咬她的头发一样惹人厌?菲此，别介意我觉得那样很可爱哦，真的？是吗？咬字清晰又不犯法没错我该回去工作了没错，否则有人就会拿到他们真正点的东西了哦...全都发泄出来了你曾和一个你朋友都喜欢的男人约会吗?没有我在和一个我朋友都喜欢的男人约会我们在谈郊狼吗?一头牛居然全身而退你能相信吗?你知道吗? 我毫无感觉...他们有感觉...而我却毫无感觉！你应该要有感觉的啊！听着，如果你对他没感觉就把他甩了呀！我知道，但很难没错，但他是大人了，他会熬过去的不，他没事我担心的是其他五人难道你不尊重你的身体吗?你不知道你在残害你的身体?我受够你们了还有你们的癌症，肺气肿和心脏病至少抽烟很酷这点你们也很清楚钱德，亚伦找你真的？他找我？老兄，什么事?她告诉你了?对，我偶尔会犯烟瘾对，现在没那么糟这倒是真的天啊，没人这么说过好的，谢谢天啊，他真神如果他是个女人那该有多好是啊...小羊排那袜子到底有多旧了?如果我手上戴着袜子三十年它也会开始说话了有人该换尼古丁贴片了嘿，乔依在哪儿?乔依吃了我的最后一片口香糖所以我就把他杀了你认为这样不对吗?我想他在对面好啦.哦，我又重拾快乐的生活了菲此，你还想吃那个吗？菲比？谁想吃剩下的?我要抱歉汽水公司那些笨蛋给我七千元当姆指的补偿金天啊！七千元！别闹了！然后在来这的路上我又踩到口香糖了这世界到底怎么了?怎么啦?没什么，只是觉得大伙儿在一起很温馨如果大家都有穿内裤会更好Joey,你那里...天呀好..哦！那是小羊排！好了,大家,我们必须得谈谈.等等，我有似曾相识的感觉,不,好像没有好吧,我们需要谈谈.瞧,来了是有关亚伦的事有件事应该让你们知道真的很难启齿我决定和亚伦分手有第三者?没有...只是世事难料，人都会变我们没变啊就这样...就这样结束了？就这样了？当你放下防御，真心对待一个人…我可以继续伪装…好啊！不，这样对我不公平对亚伦不公平对你们大家也不公平是吗?谁要公平?我只想要回失去的，回到往日我很抱歉哦,她说抱歉,我感觉好多了我真是不敢相信假期就要来临了我还想带他去见我的家人我会找到新欢的，会有另一个亚伦是呀,另一个.你们不会有事吧?嘿，嘿，我们会好起来的我们只是需要一点时间我了解哇..我真的很抱歉我也很抱歉但我也真的松了一口气.松了一口气?对，我和你在一起很开心只是我受不了你朋友记得我们到中央公园划船吗?那真好玩是啊，他划得就像维京人一样嗨.嘿.情况如何?嗯，你知道...他有提到我们吗?他说他会想念你们的悲惨的一天?你无法体会来...我受够了,我要抽烟不行…我管不了那么多了我投降，我是懦夫，我要抽烟，我要抽烟！如果你不再抽烟我就给你七千块好吧,没问题.s again!'will never see me naked'.ou' means 'It is you'.r-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.'Ha, ha, I already am'.dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm., send our dog off to live on a farm.they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."ps the lighter.? Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)at's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm She sits down without saying hi.)open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-stealing.you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was h e this giant karmic debt.mouthful of smoke.)the last time you quit.it in Phoebe's coffee.)hhexy!.. Sorry.a chance to figure that out.d within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking offef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just loo ctually liked.mmer if they never get to meet the guy..oebe is absent.]on the window.)ter without saying hi.)We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hop ou all like me.Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.oked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'on alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)ey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]n where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second bout softball..ybe.. sometimes..also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)there's really money in here., takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray.? He tye, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!king isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that sn hews her hair?ndisturbed.)ot through!. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.ts to speak to you., she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's nothop.]nd for thirty years it'd be talking too.that was wrong?d dollars for the thumb.he universe?!'s going on?now. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.out someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)It wouldn't be fair to you!way they were.coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-s.s her forehead.)I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke! seven thousand dollars!and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi! l complete.ced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-notg off the weak members of the herd.s, they're just looking out after you.onvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.'Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...reath spray.? He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigwith that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept allou know it.now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it likeAlan.ine, not-not-mine'...。

Hi, guys! 大家好Hey, Pheebs! Hi! 嘿菲比嗨Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go? 嘿对了约会怎么样Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 不是很好他送我到地铁然后说'We should do this again!' "我们应该再来一次"What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? 怎么啦他说要再来一次那不是很好吗Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' 不他说我们应该再来一次means 'You will never see me naked'. 代表你将无法再见到裸体的我Since when? 什么时候这样子的Since always. It's like dating language. 一直都是这样这是约会用语Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'. 就像"不是你的问题"代表"就是你"Or 'You're such a nice guy' means "你真的挺好的"代表'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics "我要和穿皮衣的酒鬼约会"and complaining about them to you 然后再跟你抱怨他们"Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 还有还有"我们该试试别人"代表'Ha, ha, I already am'. "哈哈我已和别人约会了"- And everybody knows this? - Yeah. Cushions the blow. -大家都懂 -对放轻松啦Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, 没错就像你小时候and your parents put your dog to sleep, 父母把你的狗狗送去安乐死and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. 却对你说它跑到别人家农场去住了That's funny, that, no, because, 真有意思不是我是说uh, our parents actually did, uh, 我爸妈是真的把我家的狗send our dog off to live on a farm. 送别人农场去养了Uh, Ross. 罗斯What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? 米尔纳家在康乃迪克州的农场The Millners, 米尔纳家they had this unbelievable farm, 他们家的农场好棒and horses, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- ..... 有马还有可供追逐的兔子Oh, my God, Chi Chi! 哦我的天芝芝"So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?" "知道自己不久于人世有何感受" "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. "华顿我的痛苦将在五分钟内消失But you'll have to live with the knowledge that 而你要知道you sent an honest man to die." 你让一位诚实的人丢掉了性命Hey, that was really good! 嘿表演得真好Yeah? Thanks! Let's keep going. 是吗谢了咱们继续吧Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?" 好你要我怎么做呢达蒙"I just wanna go back to my cell. 我只想回到我的牢房内'Cause in my cell, I can smoke." 因为在那里我可以抽烟"Smoke away." 抽去吧I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.我想这就是达蒙独自在牢房抽烟的原因- What? - Relax your hand! Let your wrist go. -什么 -手放轻松手腕自然点Not so much! 别太过火Alright, now try taking a puff. 好吸一口Okay. 很好Okay. No. Give it to me. 算了不对把烟给我No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette. 你休想我不会给你烟的It's fine, it's fine. 没关系啦Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here. 你到底想不想演这个角色拿来All right, now. 很好现在Don't think of it as a cigarette. 别把它当成是支烟Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. 把它当成是你思念已久的东西When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete. 当你夹着它时感到自在感到满足- Y'miss it? - Nah, not so much. -你很想它吗 -没不怎么想Alright, now we smoke. 好现在抽一口Oh..my..God. 哦爽死了No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance 不对不对他们说from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger. 跟从拇指尖到食指尖的距离相等That's ridiculous! 这太荒谬了Can I use.. either thumb? 我可以用另一个拇指么Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! 好吧别告诉我别告诉我Decaf cappucino for Joey.. 无咖啡因卡布其诺是乔伊的Coffee black.. 黑咖啡Late.. 拿铁and an iced tea. 和冰茶- I'm getting pretty good at this! - Yeah. Yeah, excellent. -我进步神速 -是啊真厉害Good for me! 我真行Y'okay, Phoebe? 菲比你没事吧Yeah no- I'm just- it's, it's not even worth... 嗯不只是没啥It's my bank. 是我存钱的银行What did they do to you? 他们对你怎么了It's nothing, it's just- Okay. 也没怎么只是好吧I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, 我当时正在看信一打开他们的每月you know, STATEMENT- 所谓的 "通知"Easy, easy... 别激动别激动and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account. 发现我户头里多了五百元Oh, Satan's minions at work again... 撤旦的爪牙又来祸害人间啦Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. 没错因为我得到银行找他们解决处理What are you talking about? Keep it! 你脑子中风了吗自己留着呗It's not mine, I didn't earn it, 这钱不是我的不是我赚来的if I kept it, it would be like stealing. 我留着就如同偷窃Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping! 对可如果你把它花了就如同购物Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. 好吧就比方说我买了一双很棒的鞋Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 你们知道我每踏出一步都会听到什么吗'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' 不是我的And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping-I'd hear 即使我再快乐再雀跃都会听到'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'... 不是我的不是我的不是我的We're with you. We got it. 我们知道你的意思了Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. 很好我只是没办法享受这些钱It would be like this giant karmic debt. 因为这就像是沉重的因果报应一样Chandler, what're you doing? 钱德勒你在干什么hey,what are you doing? 嘿你在干什么Oh! Oh, God! 哦我的天What is this?! 这是什么I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking. 我在抽烟我在抽烟在抽烟Oh, I can't believe you! 我真不敢相信你You've been so good, for three years! 你一直以来都表现良好都三年了And this- is my reward! 这是我的奖励Hold on a second, alright? 等一下Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. 想想你戒烟后是怎么活过来的Okay, so this time I won't quit! 所以这一次我不再戒了Ohhh! Put it out! 熄掉All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. 好吧我熄掉就是熄掉了Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now! 不是吧现在我没法喝Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date. 好了我去换衣服了有约会So is it Alan again? How's it goin'? 又是艾伦进展如何'S'going pretty good, y'know? 进展得还不错It's nice, and, we're having fun. 感觉很好我们在一起很开心So when do we get to meet the guy? 我们何时能见到他Yeah! 对啊Let's see, today's Monday... 我看看今天是星期一Never. 永远别想Oh, come on! Come on!- 拜托别这样啦No. Not after what happened with Steve. 不史蒂夫那次之后就别想了What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! 你在说什么我们都爱史蒂胡Schhteve was schhexy!.. 史蒂胡很性感Sorry. 不好意思Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. 我自己都还没清楚对他的感觉呢Just give me a chance to figure that out. 给我一点时间想清楚Well, then can we meet him? 那么到时我们就可以见他了吗I mean, why should I let them meet him? 凭什么我得让他们见他啊I mean, I bring a guy home, 我带个人回家and within five minutes they're all over him. 五分钟之内他们便会蜂拥而上I mean, they're like- coyotes, 他们就像丛林狼一样picking off the weak members of the herd. 专挑兽群中的弱者下手Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, 我说身为一位阅尽天下极品男的人I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. 我告诉你这事没什么大不了的Come on now, they're your friends, 再说了他们毕竟是你的朋友- they're just looking out after you. - I know. -他们只是关心你 -我知道I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home 我只是希望至少有那么一次that they actually liked. 能带一个他们真正喜欢的男人回家Well, you do realise that the odds of that happening are a little slimmer 那么你应该很清楚如果不让他们见面- if they never get to meet the guy. -这种几率就愈发渺茫Let it go, Ross. 别再想了罗斯Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi. 是啊你又不认识芝芝Do you all promise? 你们都保证了吗Yeah! We promise! 对我们保证We'll be good! 我们会很乖的Chandler? Do you promise to be good? 钱德勒你保证会很乖吗You can come in, 你可以进来but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! 但你的过滤嘴小朋友得呆在外面Hey, Pheebs. 嘿菲比'Dear Ms. Buffay. 亲爱的布菲小姐Thank you for calling attention to our error. 谢谢你提醒我们的错误We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. 我们已将五百元存入你的户头We're sorry for the inconvenience, 造成不便之处请多包涵and hope you'll accept this football phone... 此橄榄球电话是免费赠品as our free gift.' 敬请笑纳Do you believe this?! 你们相信吗Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone! 现在我多了一千块和一个橄榄球电话What bank is this? 这是哪家银行Hey. It's him. 注意他来了- Who is it? - It's Alan. -哪位 -我是艾伦Chandler! He's here! 钱德勒他来了Okay, please be good, please. 拜托要乖千万要乖Just remember how much you all like me. 记得你们有多么爱我Hi. Alan, this is everybody. 嗨艾伦这是大家Everybody, this is Alan. 各位这是艾伦Hi, Alan. 嗨艾伦I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! 我对各位已经如雷贯耳了Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. 谢谢我明天再打电话给你Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. 好了开始艾伦批斗大会吧Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm? 谁先第一个发动啊C'mon! 来嘛...I'll go. 我先来Let's start with the way he kept picking at- 我们先从他一直都很You know, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do it. 抱歉我办不到不行We loved him. 我们很喜欢他Loved him! Yeah! He's great! 爱死他了他太棒了Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that 等一下我们谈的确定是I'm going out with?- 我现在约会的对象吗Yeah! 是啊And did you notice...? 你们都有注意到Know what was great? 知道他什么最棒吗The way his smile was kinda crooked. 他笑起来有点歪Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe! 对就像是鞋中人一样...What shoe? 鞋什么From the nursery rhyme. 是童谣里的'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, 有一个歪歪男笑起来歪歪的Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...' 他住在鞋子里然后...So I think Alan 我认为艾伦will become the yardstick against which 将成为衡量all future boyfriends will be measured. 未来所有男友的准绳What future boyfriends? 什么未来男友No, no, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.- 不我觉得就是他了Really! 真的呀Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his 仅凭他学戴维·哈塞霍夫的样子David Hasselhof impression alone. 连我自己都想嫁给他You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? 我以后在派对上也要表演这个You know what I like most about him, though? 知道我最喜欢他哪一点吗What? 哪一点The way he makes me feel about myself. 他让我重拾了自信How was the game? 比赛结果如何Well.. 这个嘛WE WON!! Thank you! Yes! 我们赢啦谢谢太棒啦That's fantastic! I have one question: 太好了我有一个问题How is that possible? 这怎么可能呢Alan.He was unbelievable. 是艾伦他真是太不可思议了He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon 他就像兔巴哥动画片中where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, 一人包揽所有位置的兔巴哥一样but instead of Bugs it was 只不过取而代之的是first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-... 一垒手艾伦二垒艾伦三垒I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. 这就像是他让我们团结一心Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers 对我们让那些犹太教的珠宝商a thing or two about softball.. 领教了什么叫垒球Nice! 没错Can I ask you guys a question? 能问你们一个问题吗D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. 你是否曾感觉艾伦可能有时What? 怎样...I dunno, a little too Alan? 我说不上来有点太艾伦了Well, no. That's impossible. 不不可能You can never be too Alan. 他不可能太过于艾伦Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. 没错我们欣赏的就是那内在的艾伦感I personally could have a gallon of Alan. 我一个人就可以喝下一加仑的艾伦- Hey, Lizzie. - Hey, Weird Girl. -嘿莉琪 -嘿怪女孩I brought you alphabet soup. 我给你带了字母汤Did you pick out the vowels? 元音字母都挑出去了吗Yes. But I left in the Ys. 对但我把"Y"留下来了'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". 因为 Y是半元音嘛Uh, I also have something else for you. 我还带了其他东西给你Saltines? 咸饼干吗No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? 不但你想要一千块钱和一个橄榄球电话吗What? Oh, my God, Oh, my God, there's really money in here. 什么天哪天哪这里真的有钱I know. 我知道Weird Girl, what are you doing? 怪女孩你在干嘛啊No, I want you to have it. I don't want it. 别我要送给你我不想要No, no, I ha-I have to give you something. 不我得送点东西给你No, that's fine, you don't.. 不没关系你不用Would you like my tin-foil hat? 你要我的锡纸帽吗No. 'Cause you need that. 不你需要它No, it's okay, thanks. 不用了谢谢Please, let me do something. 求你了让我表示一下吧Okay, alright, I'll tell you what, 好这样吧you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay? 你请我喝汽水我们就扯平了好吗- Okay. - Okay. -好吧 -很好Keep the change. 不用找了Thanks, Lizzie. 谢谢你莉琪Sure you don't wanna pretzel? 你真的不要椒盐卷饼吗- No, I'm fine.Thanks. - See ya. -不不用了谢谢 -回见A thumb?! 大拇指I know! I know, 我知道我知道I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, 我一打开它就浮在里面like this tiny little hitch-hiker! 像个迷你搭便车的人like this tiny little hitch-hiker! [竖起拇指表示搭便车]Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? 没准这是某种竞赛呢Like, collect all five? 集满五个有奖- Does, um, anyone wanna see? - Nooo! -你们想看看吗 -不要- Oh, hey, don't do that! - Cut it out! -别这样 -快熄掉It's worse than the thumb! 这比大拇指更糟糕Hey, this is so unfair! 嘿这很不公平啊Oh, why is it unfair? 怎么就不公平了So I have a flaw! Big deal? 我有个缺点又怎样Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? 乔伊常扳指关节就不惹人厌吗And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? 还有罗斯把每个音发无比清楚And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? 莫妮卡大笑时的鼻音I mean, what the hell is that thing? 这算搞什么嘛I accept all those flaws, 我接受大家所有的缺点why can't you accept me for this? 为什么你们就不肯接受我呢...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody, 扳指关节真的很惹人厌吗Well, I-I could live without it. 我觉得有一点点烦Well, is it, like, a little annoying, 是只是一点点惹人厌or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? 还是像菲比咬她的头发一样惹人厌Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right? 别听他的菲比I think it's endearing. 我觉得那样很可爱Oh, "you do, do you"? 哦真的是吗You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. 咬字清晰又不犯法"Indeed there isn't"... 确实没错I should really get back to work. 我该回去工作了Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get 没错不然客人们就会拿到what they actually ordered. 他们真正点的东西了The hair comes out, and the gloves come on. 刚吐出头发就戴上拳击手套了哈Did you ever go out with a guy 你有没有曾经和一个your friends all really like? 你所有朋友都喜欢的男人约会No. 没有Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like. 好吧我在和一个我朋友都喜欢的男人约会Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? 等一下你说的是那群丛原狼吗All right, a cow got through! 一头牛居然全身而退Can you believe it? ... 你能相信吗Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. 你知道吗我没怎么动情I mean, they feel the thing, 他们倒是挺有感觉I don't feel the thing. 而我却没有来电悸动Honey.. you should always "feel" the thing. 亲爱的你应该永远保持鸡动Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, 听着莫妮卡如果你对他没感觉Monica, dump him! 就把他甩了呀I know.. it's gonna be really hard. 我知道但真的很难Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it. 他是大人了他会熬过去的No, he'll be fine. 不他没事It's the other five I'm worried about. 我担心的是其他五人Do you have any respect for your body? 你对自己的身体就没一点尊重吗Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself? 你难道不清楚这对你身体的危害吗Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys 喂我受够你们了and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. 还有你们念叨的癌症肺气肿和心脏病The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it. 可无论怎样抽烟很酷你们懂的Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you. 钱德勒艾伦的电话他要找你Really? He does? 真的吗他找我Hey, buddy, what's up! 老兄什么事Oh, she told you about that, huh. 她告诉你了Well, yeah, I have one now and then. 对我偶尔会犯烟瘾Well, yeah, now. 对现在也是Well, it's not that big- .. 没那么糟Well, that's true,.. 这倒是真的Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. 天啊以前从没人说过这样的话Well, okay, thanks! 好的谢谢God, he's good. 天啊他真神- If only he were a woman. - Yeah. -如果他是个女人那该有多好 -是啊- If only he were a woman. - Yeah. 儿童节目Ooh, Lambchop. "小羊排"How old is that sock? 那袜子到底有多旧了If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years 如果我手上戴着袜子三十年it'd be talking too. 它也会开口说话Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. 好吧有人该换尼古丁贴片了Hey. Where's Joey? 嘿乔伊在哪儿Joey ate my last stick of gum, 乔伊吃了我的最后一片口香糖so I killed him. 我把他灭了Do you think that was wrong? 你认为这样不对吗- I think he's across the hall. - Thanks. -他可能在对面 -谢谢There y'go. 好啦Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now. 哦我又重拾快乐的生活了Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? 菲比你还想吃那个小烤饼吗菲比Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart? 谁想吃剩下的小烤饼Hey, I might! 我要吃I'm sorry. .. 抱歉Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me 那白痴汽水公司给了我seven thousand dollars for the thumb. 七千块当姆指的补偿金- Oh, my God. - 7 thousand dollars? -天啊 -七千块And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. 然后在来这的路上我踩到了口香糖...What is up with the universe?! 这世界到底怎么了What's going on? 怎么啦Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together. 没什么只是觉得正好大家都在Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.. 如果大家都有穿内裤会更好- Uh, Joey.. - Oh, God! -乔伊你那里 -天呀- Okay.. - Oh! That was Lambchop! -好 -哦是小羊排Please, guys, we have to talk. 好了我们必须得谈谈Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu... 等等我有似曾相识的感觉No, I'm not. 不不对Alright, we have to talk. 好吧我们需要谈谈There it is! 瞧来了Okay. It's-it's about Alan. 是有关艾伦的事There's something that you should know. 有件事应该让你们知道I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. 真的很难启齿I've decided to break up with Alan. 我决定和艾伦分手Is there somebody else? 有第三者No, nononono.. it's just.. 没有没有只是因为y'know, things change. People change. 只是世事难料人是会变的We didn't change.. 我们没变啊So that's it? It's over? 这就完了没戏了吗Just like that? 就这么结束了吗You know.. you let your guard down, 当你放下一切防备you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- 开始真心对待一个人时我真的- Look, I- I could go on pretending. - Okay! -我可以继续伪装 -好啊No, but that wouldn't be fair to me, 不这样对我不公平it wouldn't be fair to Alan. 对艾伦不公平It wouldn't be fair to you! 对你们大家也不公平Yeah, who wants fair? 是吗谁要公平I mean, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. 我只想事情回到之前的样子I'm sorry.. 我很抱歉Oh, she's sorry! I feel better! 她还抱歉我感觉好多了I just can't believe this! 我真是不敢相信I mean, with the holidays coming up- 假期就要来临了I wanted him to meet my family- 我还想带他去见我的家人I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans. 我会找到新男友的会有另一个艾伦Oh, yeah! Right! 是啊好吧Are you guys gonna be okay? 你们不会有事吧Hey hey, we'll be fine. 我们会好起来的We're just gonna need a little time. 我们只是需要一点时间I understand. 我了解I'm, I'm really sorry. 我真的很抱歉Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry too. 我也很抱歉But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved. 但说实话我也觉得稍稍解脱了Relieved? 解脱Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. 对我和你在一起很开心I just can't stand your friends. 只是我受不了你朋友Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. 记得我们到中央公园划船吗That was fun. 那真好玩Yeah. He could row like a viking. 是啊他划得就像维京人一样So how'd it go? 情况如何Oh, y'know.. 嗯你知道Did did he mention us? 他有提到我们吗He said he's really gonna miss you guys. 他说他会想念你们的You had a rough day, huh?- 这一天很不好过吧Oh, you have no idea... 那还用说C'mere. 来- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. - No no no! -我受够了我要抽烟 -不行I don't care, I don't care! 我管不了那么多了Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! 我投降我是懦夫我要抽烟I've gotta have the smoke! 我一定要抽烟If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars! 如果你不再抽烟我就给你七千块Yeah, alright. 好吧没问题第一季第三集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。