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The One With the Thumb[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'All: Ohh. Ouch.Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.Rachel: Since when?Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.Rachel: And everybody knows this?Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.（众所周知）Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.Monica: Uh, Ross.Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!Opening Credits[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.] Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."Chandler: Hey, that was really good!Joey: Thanks! Let's keep going.Chandler: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"Joey: "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke." Chandler: "Smoke away."(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. Joey: What?Chandler: Relax your hand!(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)Chandler: Not so much!Joey: Whoah!Chandler: Hey!Joey: Hey!Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.(Joey tries and visibly winces.)Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here. (Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.Joey: Y'miss it?Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.] Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.(The guys stretch out their fingers.)Joey: That's ridiculous!Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!All: Yeah. Yeah, excellent.Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.Monica: What did they do to you?Phoebe: It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-Ross: Easy.Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again... （撒旦的人又开始活动了……）Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing. Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...Monica: We're with you. We got it.(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)All: Oh! Oh, God!Ross: What is this?!Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years! Chandler: And this- is my reward!Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit!All: Ohhh! Put it out!Chandler: All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coffee.)Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!Monica: Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.Rachel: This Alan again? How's it goin'?Monica: 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun. Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.All: Oh, come on! Come on!Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.Rachel: Well, then can we meet him?Monica: Nope. Schhorry.[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home,and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]Joey: Let it go, Ross.Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.Monica: Do you all promise?All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good? (Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! (Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.) (Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)Ross: Hey, Pheebs.Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!Rachel: What bank is this?(The intercom buzzes.)Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?Alan: (on theintercom) It's Alan.Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.(She opens the door and Alan enters.)Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.Alan: Hi.All: Hi, Alan.Alan: I've heard schho（so）much about all you guyschh! （guys）(Everyone laughs.)[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm? (Silence.)Monica: C'mon!Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with? All: Yeah!Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!Ross: ...What shoe?Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'(Dubious pause.)Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it. Monica: Really!Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression) Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?All: What?Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.All: Yeah...Commercial Break[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]Monica: Hi.. how was the game?Ross: Well..All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?Joey: Alan.Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..Ross: What?Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.] Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl.Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.（我给你带来了字母花片汤）Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?（你把元音挑出来了吗？）Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)Lizzie: Saltines?（咸饼干？）Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.Phoebe: I know.Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?Phoebe: No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.Lizzie: Please, let me do something.Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?（好吧，你给我一瓶苏打水，这样我们就公平交易）Lizzie: Okay.Phoebe: Okay.[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.][Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?（你确定你不想要椒盐脆饼）Phoebe: No, I'm fine.Lizzie: (leaves) See ya.(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)Phoebe: Huh![Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.] Ross: A thumb?!(Phoebe nods.)All: Eww!Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!Chandler: Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five?Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?All: Nooo!(Chandler lights a cigarette.)All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?Chandler: So I have a flaw! （我心理不平衡）Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? （每个字都过分认真的发音）And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?(An awkward silence ensues.)Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? (Phoebe spits out her hair.)Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing. （我认为那很可爱）Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?(Monica laughs and snorts.)Ross: You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.（头发吐出来了，开始攻击我了）(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.)[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?Paula: No.Monica: Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.Ross: If only he were a woman.Rachel: Yeah.(They give each other a dubious look.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.) Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?Rachel: I think he's across the hall.Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)Ross: (finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go.Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-T art?Ross: Hey, I might!Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.All: You're kidding. Oh my God.Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..Rachel: Uh, Joey..Joey: Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..All: Oh! That was Lambchop!Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.Monica: Alright, we have to talk.Phoebe: There it is!Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.（我已经决定和Alan分手了）(They all gasp and clutch each other.)Ross: Is there somebody else?Monica: No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change.Rachel: We didn't change..Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-Joey: Okay!Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were.Monica: I'm sorry..Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-Monica: I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.All: Oh, yeah! Right!Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.Monica: (dubious) I understand.[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]Alan: Wow.Monica: I'm, I'm really sorry.Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved. （我得告诉你，我感到放松了点）Monica: Relieved?Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.Monica: (entering) Hi.All: Mmm.Ross: So how'd it go?Monica: Oh, y'know..Phoebe: Did he mention us?Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)Chandler: ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.All: No no no!Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!Chandler: (returns) Yeah, alright.。
剧本原文：- Hi,guys. - Hey,Phoebe.各位- 菲比- How did it go? - Not so good. -你的约会怎么样? - 不是很好He walked me home and said, "Let's do this again."他送我到地铁然后跟我说我们应该再来一次He said,"Let's do this again." That's good,right?他说要再来一次? 那不是很好吗?Translated,"Let's do this again" means,"You'll never see me naked." 不，他说我们应该再来一次意思是说你将无法再见到裸体的我Since when?什么时候这样子的？Since always. It's,like,dating language.一直都是这样的啊. 就像是…约会用语Like,"It's not you" means,"It is you."比如,“问题不是出在你”代表“就是你”"You're nice" means,"I'll be datin g alcoholics.. “你真好”意思是说我要和皮革族的酒徒约会…and complaining about them to you."然后向你抱怨"We should see other people" means: “我们该试试别人”代表"Ha-ha,I already am!" “我已和别人约会了”Everybody knows this?大家都懂?Cushions the blow.对，善意的谎言Like your parents putting the dog to sleep..没错，就像父母使小孩的狗安乐死时and saying it went to a farm.他们会说它跑到别人家农场去住了That's funny. Because our parents actually did..真有意思,不过我爸妈是真的…Ross?罗斯？Hello! The Milner's farm in Connecticut?米纳他们在康乃迪克州的农场The Milners had this unbelievable farm.米纳他们家的农场好棒They had horses and rabbits to chase.有马还有可供追逐的兔子…And it was..有马还有可供追逐的兔子…Oh,my God! Chi-Chi!噢,芝芝The One With the Thumb六人行第1季第03集飞来横财How does it feel knowing you're about to die?知道自己不久人世有何感受?Warden,in five minutes my pain will be over.华顿，我的痛苦将在五分钟内消除But you'll live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die. 但你得承受埋葬一个老实人的痛苦That was really good!表演得真好是吗？Thanks. Let's keep going.谢了，咱们继续吧So,what do you want from me,Dimon? Huh?好，你要我怎么做，迪默?I just wanna go back to my cell, because in my cell I can smoke.我只想回到我的牢房内因为这样我才可以抽烟Smoke away!你就在这里抽吧I think this is why Dimon smokes in his cell alone.我想这就是迪默自己一个在牢房里抽烟的原因- What? - Relax your hand.什么- 手放轻松Let your wrist go.手腕自然点Not so much!别太过火!All right. Now take a puff.好的，现在吐口烟- Give it to me. - I'm not giving you a cigarette. -给我来- 不，我不能给你烟Now,don't think of it as a cigarette.看着，别把它当成香烟Think of it as the thing that has been missing from your hand.把它当成是你想念多时的东西When you hold it, you feel right.夹着它你感到自在You feel complete.让你感到满足- You miss it? - No,not so much.你很想它? - 没那么严重All right. Now we smoke.好吧，抽烟Oh,my God!噢,爽呀!- Give me that! - No. You've got options. -把它给我- 不，你有几种选择You can smoke like this:你可以像这样抽烟- Chandler - Or hold it in your mouth. -钱德- 或者只是把它叼在嘴里Give me the cigarette!把烟给我- You try. - Thank you.你来试试. - 谢谢Okay,how's this?感觉怎么样？Okay,that's not bad.还不坏All right,when you're finished, it's cool if you flick it. 好的，当你结束的时候, 弹掉它会显得很酷All right,you keep practicing..就这样，不断练习and I'll go put out the sofa.我去扑灭着火的沙发I thought it was foot size.我认为一个人脚的大小No. It's the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb.. 不，是和他拇指尖到食指尖…to the tip of his index finger.的距离相同的That's ridiculous.这太荒谬了Can I use either thumb?随便哪个姆指都行?I'd rather go with the foot theory.我宁可和脚长理论相伴All right. Don't tell me.别告诉我…Decaf cappuccino for Joey.无咖啡因卡布其诺，是乔依的Coffee,black.纯咖啡Latte.拿铁And an iced tea.和冰茶- I'm getting good at this. - Excellent! -我进步神速- 不错Good for me!我真行- You okay,Phoebe? - It's not worth菲此，你没事吧- 我还好It's my bank.我的银行- What did they do? - It's nothing他们对你怎么了?I get my mail and open their monthly "statement."我看我的信件时看见他们的每月通知Easy!别激动And there's $500 extra in my account.我的户头多了五百元Satan's minions at work again!撒旦的奴才又开始活跃了Now I have to go deal with them没错，因为我得到银行找他们处理- What are you talking about? Keep it! - It's not mine. -别傻了，留着自己用吧- 这些钱不是我的If I kept it,I'd be stealing.我留下来就如同偷窃But if you spent it, it would be like shopping.如果你拿来花就如同购物Say I bought a great pair of shoes.好吧，就比方说我买了一双很棒的鞋Know what I'd hear with every step? "Not mine. Not mine. Not mine."你们知道我每踏出一步都会听到什么吗? “不是我的…不是我的…不是我的…”Even if I was happy and skipping,I'd hear:即使我再快乐再雀跃都会听到"Not-not mine. Not-not mine." “不是我的…不是我的…”We're with you. We got it.知道你的意思了I'd never be able to enjoy it. It'd be this giant karmic debt.我无法享受非份之财的乐趣这就像是业报一样Chandler,what are you doing?钱德，你在干什么?What are you doing?你在干什么?Oh,gross!噢,真恶劣!- What is this? - I'm smoking!这是什么- 我在抽烟…You've been so good for three years!你这三年来一直表现良好And this is my reward.这是我的奖励Think about what you went through when you quit.等等，想想你戒烟后是怎么活过来的Forget about you. Think about what we went through!就算忘了你自己,至少想想我们是怎么过来的So this time I won't quit.所以这一次我不再戒了- Put it out! - I'm putting it out!熄掉…- 好吧，我熄掉就是I can't drink this now.拜托，我现在喝不了它了I'm gonna go. I've got a date.我要去换衣服了,我有个约会With Alan again? How's it going?又是亚伦?进展得如何?It's going pretty good. It's nice and we're having fun.进展的还不错.我们在一起很开心When do we get to meet him?我们何时能见到他?Let's see,it's Monday..今天是星期一…- Never. - Come on!永远别想…- 不要这样嘛Not after what happened with Steve.不,不要再来像史提夫那次的事…What do you mean? We love Steve. Steve was ***y!你在说什么?我们都爱史提夫史提夫很性感Sorry.抱歉I don't know how I feel yet. Let me figure it out.我连自己对他有何感觉都还不知道给我一点时间想清楚Then can we meet him?这么说我们可以见他罗?No.不行Sorry.抱歉Joey. Let it go.乔伊.放过它吧Why should they meet him?我为何要让他们见他?I bring a guy home and they're like..我带他回去後，他们就像coyotes picking off the weak members of the herd.就像郊狼一样找弱者下手Listen,as someone who's seen more than her share of bad beef.. 听着，不愉快的场面我见多了I'll tell you, that is not such a terrible thing.告诉你这并不是一件坏事Your friends are just looking after you.你的朋友他们只是关心你I wish that once I'd date a guy they liked.我只希望带一个他们真正喜欢的男人回家You realize the odds of that happening are slimmer..你知道的，他的机会会更渺茫的…- if they never get to meet the guy. - I know. -如果他们根本就没见过这小伙- 这个我知道- Can't I whimper a little bit? - Whimper. -能让我小声的哭一下吗？- 哭Okay,I'm done.不要这样子Let it go,Ross.罗斯,让它去吧!You didn't know Chi-Chi.你又不了解芝芝- Do you all promise? - We promise.你们都保证? - 对，我们保证We'll be good.我们会很乖的Chandler,do you promise to be good?钱德，你保证会很乖?You can come in,but your filter-tip buddy stays outside!你可以进来了,但是你的烟屁股朋友得呆在外面"Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling.亲爱的巴菲小姐谢谢你提醒我们的错误We've credited you $500. We're sorry for the inconvenience.. 我们已将五百元存入你的户头造成不便之处请多包涵and hope you'll accept this football phone..请接受此足球电话…as our gift." Do you believe it?做为礼物你们相信吗？Now I have $ 1000 and a football phone.现在我多了一千元和一个足球电话What bank is this?这是哪家银行?Okay,it's him.他来了- Who is it? - Alan.这位是谁啊？- 亚伦Chandler! He's here!钱德，他来了Do I look okay?我看起来怎么样？One more button.最好再扣上一颗扣子Closed! How about closed? -我是说扣上！扣上怎么样？- I didn't know. - Yeah. -我不太清楚- 好吧Please be good.拜托，别乱来Remember how much you all like me?记得你们有多么爱我Alan,this is everybody. Everybody,this is Alan.亚伦，这是大家各位，他是亚伦I'll call you tomorrow. Thanks.谢谢，我明天再打电话给你Let's let the Alan-bashing begin.开始攻击亚伦吧Who's gonna take the first shot?谁先开始?Come on!来呀I'll go.我来I'm sorry,I can't do this. We loved him.抱歉,我办不到.我们爱他We loved him!我们爱他Wait! We're talking about someone I'm going out with?等等，我们谈的是我约会的对象吗?That pimento trick!那个辣椒的小把戏I'll never look at an olive the same way again.我绝不会再这样看橄榄了And did you notice?你们都有注意到?Know what was great? His smile was crooked.知道他什么最棒吗? 他的微笑有点邪邪的- Yes! Like the man in the shoe! - What shoe?对，就像是鞋里的男人- 什么鞋?From the rhyme.童谣里的There was a man With a crooked smile有个驼背的人有着扭曲的微笑Who lived in a shoe For a while他住在鞋子里，有一阵子So I think Alan..我想亚伦…is the yardstick by which future boyfriends will be measured. 将成为日后男友被丈量的标准Future boyfriends?什么日后男友?- I think this could be "it." - Really?不，我想他就是了- 真的呀?I'd marry him for his David Hasselhoff impression alone. 光凭他学海滩游侠的样子我就想嫁给他了- Know what I like most? - What? -知道我最喜欢他哪一点? - 哪一点？The way he makes me feel about myself.他改变我看待自己的方式How was the game?比赛如何?Well..怎么说呢We won!我们赢啦Fantastic! Question. How is that possible?神奇!提问：这怎么可能呢？- Alan. - He was unbelievable! -亚伦- 他真是太不可思议了Like the cartoon where Bugs Bunny plays every position.他就像兔宝宝一样守每个位置It was first base,Alan. Second base,Alan..但我们有一垒手亚伦、二垒手亚伦…It was like he made us into a team.他使我们形成一个团队We sure showed those Hasidic jewelers a thing or two about softball. 对，我们让对手见识到什么叫垒球Can I ask a question?能问你们一个问题吗?Do you think Alan is sometimes..你是否曾感觉亚伦有时…What?有时怎样?I don't know. A little too "Alan"?我说不上来，太亚伦了Oh,no. Not possible. You can never be too "Alan."不，不可能你不可能太过於“亚伦”It's his innate "Alan-ness" that we adore.没错我们欣赏的是亚伦的内在I,personally,could have a gallon of Alan.我…一个人可以喝下一加仑的亚伦- Hey,Lizzy. - Hey,weird girl.嘿,露西- 嘿,古怪女孩- I brought alphabet soup.我带字母汤来给你- 你挑出有元音了吗?I left in the Y's. Because,"sometimes Y."但我把“Y”留下来了因为有时你会用的上,“Why”(音同Y) - And something else. - Saltines? -我还带了其他东西给你- 咸饼干吗?No,$1000 and a football phone.但愿你喜欢一千元和足球电话What? 什么?什么?Oh,my God!天啊- There's really money in here. - I know. -这里真的有钱- 这我知道What are you doing?你在干什么?I want you to have it. I don't want it.我要给你，我不想要- I have to give you something. - No,you don't -不，我得拿东西给你- 不用了- Do you want my tinfoil hat? - No,you need that. -你要我的锡箔纸帽帽吗? - 不要，因为你需要- It's okay. Thanks. - Let me do something. -不用了，谢谢- 求你,让我表示我的谢意I'll tell you what. Buy me a soda and we're even. Okay?这样吧,你请我喝汽水就扯平了- Okay. - Okay.好吧- 好吧Keep the change.不用找了Thanks,Lizzy.谢谢你，莉兹Want a pretzel?你真的不要椒盐卷饼?- No,I'm fine. Thanks. - See you.不,不用了- 再见A thumb?一个拇指？I know. There it was, just floating..我知道.我打开时它就浮在里面like this tiny little hitchhiker.像个搭便车的Maybe it's a contest. Like "collect all five."或者这是一场竞赛,比如集满五个有奖?Don't do that. Come on!别那样，拜托It's worse than the thumb.这比姆指还糟糕- This is so unfair. - Why is it unfair?这不公平- 为何不公平?So I have a flaw! Big deal!我有缺点行吗?了不起Joey's knuckle-cracking isn't annoying?乔依常扳指关节就不惹人厌?Ross,over-pronouncing every word.罗斯把每个音发得太清楚Monica,who snorts when she laughs. I mean,what the hell is that thing? 摩妮卡大笑时的鼻音搞什么嘛I accept those flaws. Why can't you accept me for this?我接受大家所有的缺点为何大家就不肯接受我的呢?Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody,or just him?扳指关节会惹人厌吗?还是只是他比较烦I could live without it.没有它我也能活的下去Is it a little annoying? Or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? 我觉得有点点烦? 感觉就和看到菲此咬她的头发时一样? Don't listen to him. I think it's endearing.菲此，别介意我觉得那样很可爱Oh,you do,do you?真的?是吗?There's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.咬字清晰又不犯法Indeed there isn't.没错I should get back to work.我该回去工作了Otherwise someone might get what they ordered.否则有人就会拿错他们点的东西The hair comes out and the gloves come off.头发冒了出来，手套滑落下来(全都发泄出来了)Ever go out with a guy your friends really like?你曾和一个你朋友都喜欢的男人约会吗?No.没有I'm going out with a guy my friends really like.我在和一个我朋友都喜欢的男人约会Are we talking about the coyotes here?我们在谈郊狼吗?All right! A cow got through.一头牛居然全身而退Can you believe it?你能相信吗?It's just,you know what?就像是，你知道吗…I just don't feel the "thing."我毫无感觉They feel the thing. I don't feel it.而他们却有感觉.我毫无感觉Honey,you should always feel the thing.你应该要有感觉If that's how you feel about the guy, dump him.如果对他没感觉,就把他甩了- It's gonna be really hard. - He'll get over it. -我知道，但很难- 没错，但他是大人了,他会熬过去的No,he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.不，他没事.我担心的是其他五人- Don't you respect your body? - Don't you see what you're doing? -难道你不尊重你的身体吗? - 你难道不明白自己自己在做什么吗? I've had it with your cancer, emphysema and heart disease.还有你们的癌症肺气肿和心脏病The bottom line is,smoking is cool, and you know it.至少抽烟很酷,这点你们也很清楚Alan wants to speak to you.钱德，亚伦找你Really? He does?真的,他找我?Hey,buddy! What's up?老兄，什么事?She told you about that,huh?她告诉你了?Well,yeah. I have one now and then. Well,yeah,now.对，我偶尔会犯烟瘾对，现在It's not that没那么糟Well,that's true.这倒是真的Gee,you know,no one's ever put it like that before.天啊，没人这么说过Well,okay. Thanks.好的，谢谢God,he's good.天啊，他真神- If only he were a woman. - Yeah. -如果他是个女人,那该有多好- 是的啊Lamb Chop!小羊排!How old is that sock?那袜子到底有多旧了?If I had a sock on my hand for 30 years,it'd be talking too.如果我手上戴着袜子三十年它也会开始说话I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch.有人该换尼古丁贴片了- Where's Joey? - Joey ate my last stick of gum.. -乔依在哪儿? - 乔依吃了我的最後一片口香糖so I killed him.所以我就把他杀了Do you think that was wrong?你认为这样不对吗?- I think he's across the hall. - Thanks. -我想他在对面- 谢谢There you go.好啦I'm alive with pleasure now.我又重拾快乐的生活Phoebe,do you want the rest of that Pop-Tart?菲此，你还想吃那个吗?Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?谁想吃剩下的?Hey,I might.我要I'm sorry.抱歉The soda people gave me $7000 for the thumb.汽水公司那些笨蛋给我七千元当姆指的补偿金And on my way over here I stepped in gum.天啊，七千元别闹了我回家路上又踩到口香糖What is up with the universe?这世界到底怎么了?- What's going on? - It's just nice when we're together. -怎么啦？- 只是觉得大夥儿在一起很温馨It's nicer when everyone gets to wear underwear.如果大家都有穿内裤会更好Please,guys,we have to talk.大家，我有话要说Wait! I'm getting a deja vu.等等，我有似曾相识的感觉No,I'm not.不,好像没有- We have to talk. - There it is!好吧,我们需要谈谈. - 瞧,来了Okay,it's about Alan.是有关亚伦的事Speaking of which,tell him we're on for the Renaissance Fair. 关于什么，告诉他文艺复兴已经开始了Before you get into that, there's something you should know. 在此之前，有件事应该让你们知道There's really no easy way to say this.真的很难启齿I've decided to break up with Alan.我决定和亚伦分手Is there somebody else?有第三者?No,it's just..没有you know,things change. People change.只是世事难料，人都会变We didn't change.我们没变So that's it? It's over?就这样?结束了?Just like that?就这样结束了You let your guard down. You start to care about someone,and.. 放下防御，真心对待一个人…- I can go on pretending - Okay! -我可以继续伪装…- 可以啊No.不That wouldn't be fair to me,Alan, or to you.这样对我不公平,对亚伦也不公平对你们大家都不公平Well,who wants fair?是吗?谁要公平?I just want things back,you know, the way they were.我只想要回失去的，回到往日- I'm sorry. - Oh,she's sorry. I feel better. -我很抱歉- 她说抱歉，我舒坦多了I can't believe this!我真是不敢相信With the holidays coming up. I wanted him to meet my family. 连续假期就要来临了我要带他去见我的家人I'll meet someone. There'll be other Alans.我会找到新欢的，另一个亚伦Yeah,right!是呀,另一个- Are you guys gonna be okay? - We'll be fine. -你们不会有事吧? - 我们会好的We're just gonna need a little time.我们只是需要一点时间I understand.我了解- Wow. - I'm really sorry. - Wow -我真的很抱歉Yeah,I mean,I'm sorry too.我也很抱歉- But I'm a little relieved. - Relieved? -我有点松口气了- 松了一口气?Yeah,well,I mean, I had a great time with you.对，我是说我和你在一起很开心I just can't stand your friends.只是我受不了你朋友Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats? 记得我们到中央公园划船吗?That was fun.没错，那很有趣He could row like a Viking.他划得就像维京人一样So how'd it go?情况如何?You know.你知道的Did he mention us?他有提到我们吗?He says he's really gonna miss you guys.他说他会想念你们的- Rough day,huh? - You have no idea. -悲惨的一天? - 你无法体会Come here.过来宝贝- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. - No! - No!我受够了，我要抽烟- 不行…I don't care! I'm weak!我管不了那么多了,我投降,我是懦夫If you never smoke again, I'll give you $7000.如果你不再抽烟我就给你七千块。
/v/b/18391408-1577369782.html老友记Friends第一季第3集0：00 - 3：351.counter n.柜台2. Can I be served here please? /Can I get some service here please? 能够为我服务吗?3. It's a good thing right? 这是一件好事对吗？4. politely turn you down礼貌地拒绝refuse sb./ turn sb. down 拒绝某人5. You'll never do sth. /You would have never done sth. 你将永远不会做某事If he didn't come to my place today, I would have never seen him in my life.如果他今天没有来，他将永远不会见到我。
6. since when 从什么时候开始I have never seen my mom since I was born. 我妈妈很早以前就去世了7.since always 从来都是这样，一直都是这样8. date 约会dating language 约会术语I have a date with sb./ date sb. 和某人约会9. It's not you. 这不是你的问题（隐含意：就是你的问题）10. You are such a nice guy. 你真的是一个好人。
11. I'll do sth. =I'll be doing sth. 我将要做某事UGG boots雪地靴real leather / genuine leather 真皮alcohol 不可数n.酒精，醉鬼complain about sb to sb else. 和某人抱怨某人（about后是抱怨对象）I'll be dating leather-wearing alcoholics, and complaining about them to you.我要去和一个穿着皮衣的醉鬼约会,我向你抱怨他们。
108 The One Where Nana Dies Twice[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.)Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.Chandler:Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?Chandler: Yes please.Shelley: Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's-Chandler: He's a he?Shelley:Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that? Rachel: Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be...Chandler: You did?Rachel:Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.Chandler:Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?Monica: I did.Phoebe: Yeah, I think so, yeah.Joey: Not me.Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.) Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me? Phoebe: I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny...Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you e ver think that about him? All: Yeah! Right!Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.All: Yes. Absolutely. A quality. 108 （祖母）娜娜死了两回帅哥，如何?萤光灯下的脱水日本面我能有多好?问你一个问题你目前没有约会的对象吧?我遇见一个和你是绝配的人绝配或许是个问题你若说共同独立或自我毁灭的话…周六想要有个约会的对象吗?当然，拜托了他人帅而且风趣，他…他?糟了，我以为…你是个有为的青年很好，雪莉我要到马桶去把自己冲掉再见听完后我没心情吃面了这不荒谬吗?你能相信她会有这样的想法吗? 我第一次见到你时我以为你是你真的这样认为?对，但后来你在菲比的生日会上一直盯着我的胸部我想你大概不是吧你们第一次看见我时也是这样认为?我是我不觉得我也是虽然大学时代的苏珊这样认为开什么玩笑?你有告诉她我不是吗?没有没有，因为我也想跟她约会我告诉她你和伯尼是一对因为他也喜欢她所以这简直是太神奇了是什么原因?我不知道Chandler:Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.(Phone rings; Monica gets it)Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome. Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.Ross:(to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana. [Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.) Ross: So, uh, how's she doing?Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.Monica: How-how are you, Mom?Mrs. Geller:Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?Monica: What?Mrs. Geller: What's different?Monica: Nothing.Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover. Monica: Oh God!(They hug.)[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.] Monica: The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse. Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants. Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)Nurse: Mrs. Geller?(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.) Ross: She looks so small.Monica: I know.Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now. Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)Ross: Bye, Nana.(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)Monica: Ross!(Ross runs out too.)Mrs. Geller: What is going on?! 因为你既聪明又风趣罗斯也是聪明又风趣你们有想过他是吗?是哦到底是为什么?我也说不上来但你就是有那种调调没错调调?说得好我还担心你们看不出呢瑞秋，是保罗从罗马打来的天啊，从罗马打来(意大利语)了不起，他从罗马打来我也可以我到罗马去就是了摩妮卡，你爸打来的你能长话短说吗?我正和罗马通电话爸，怎么了?我的天罗斯，是奶奶你们还好吧?她的情况如何?医生说只剩几小时了妈，你还好吧?我?我还好真高兴见到你们来你的头发怎么了?什么?看起来有点不同.没什么变化呀.或许是这个缘故她真是令人难以置信放松点看来我们得在这儿待一段时间了免不了还要谈你男友和工作的事我的老天她皮包里有发霉的钱币真呕心你们知道我喜欢什么吗?她的人工袋糖她总是从餐厅里偷走不只是餐厅，我们家也一样格雷太太她看起来好小我知道Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..Mrs. Geller: What?Ross: She's not- past, she's present, she's back.Aunt Lillian: (reentering) What's going on?Mr. Geller: She may have died.Aunt Lillian: She may have died?Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.) Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)Nurse: This almost never happens!(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)Ross:Now she's passed.[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.] Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?Rachel:(exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.(Monica and Ross enter.)Rachel: So, um, did she...Ross: Twice.Joey: Twice?Phoebe: Oh, that sucks!Joey: You guys okay?Ross:I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh...Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.Ross: Nono, she's gone.Monica: We checked. A lot.Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her. Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil) Phoebe: Thanks!Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.Joey:Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?Phoebe:Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. (Hands back the pencil)[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]Ross: I thought it was gonna be a closed casket. 至少她现在有阿公和婶婶陪伴别了，奶奶再见，奶奶罗斯护士怎么了？护士说她已过世了，实际上不是什么?她还没完全过世她还活着，她回来了怎么回事?她可能死了她可能死了?我们也想知道我进去看看这种事几乎不可能发生她过世了我必须要知道是我的头发?对，正是你的头发你有一头同性恋的头发她怎么样了?两次两次?你们还好吧?说不上来，好诡异我知道她已过世但我感觉...或许是因为她还没有不，她过世了我们检查了好多遍或许人不会真正过世我妈死后我偶尔会感觉她就在身旁还有黛此我初中最要好的朋友在打迷你高尔夫时被闪电击中用那枝黄色铅笔时我总感到一股强烈的”心灵感应”我好想念她来，菲此，你要吗?谢谢不客气，早上刚削好的我不信这一套人死了就是死了死了就成了虫的食物Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?Ross: (sarcastic) I don't see why not.(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)Ross: Here's my retainer![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.] Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-Monica: Dad!Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.Monica: You what?Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun. Monica: Define fun.Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...Monica:...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.Mr. Geller:Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.Monica: That's probably what they'll say.Mr. Geller: I'd like that.[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]Chandler: Hey, gorgeous.Shelley: (sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um- Chandler:No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake.Shelley: Oh! Okay! Phew!Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?Shelley: I dunno, uh... you just have a-a...Chandler: ...Quality, right, great.Shelley: Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great couple.Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?Shelley: What? He's cute!Chandler: Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll.Shelley: Is Brian...?Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.Shelley: Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league. Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I 钱德看起来像个同性恋? 我不知道此人是谁但绝对不是黛比我以为要用密封的棺木这并不代表她不能看起来体面一点孩子，你想你能进去吗? 当然可以我的牙齿矫正器我在想我走的时候爸听我说我走的时候我要海葬什么?我要海葬好像挺有意思的定义一下那一天你们会玩得很开心的你们会乘着船带着午餐…然后把你的尸体丢人大海真是有意思每个人都自认为了解我他们都说杰克太一成不变了或许我死后他们会说海葬,哈?他们大概会这么说吧希望如此美女昨天的事很抱歉我别担心相信我，显然别人也犯了相同的错误你认为是我的缘故?我说不上来你就是有那种调调，是哦真可惜因为你和罗尔本来很登对罗尔?会计部门的罗尔你觉得我们很配?有何不可?他很帅他不像布莱恩布莱恩是不是...?重点是如果你想替我配对我希望你会挑他我想你配不上布莱恩对不起你认为我配不上他?could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?Aunt Lillian: No.Ross:I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy. Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)Aunt Lillian: Wait! We need shoes!(Ross falls back inside)Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?Aunt Lillian: Could we see something in a slimmer heel?Ross:(forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.Aunt Lillian: No, it really sh ould be burgundy.Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back. (He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)Ross: Oh my God..Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?Ross: Yeah, just... just Nana stuff.(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n' Lo's rain down on him)Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?Monica: Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings. Rachel: Oh, you-you mean your earrings?Phoebe: What'd I say?Rachel: (sticking her foot out) Hm-m.Monica: Are these the shoes?Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.Ross: What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...?Joey: (entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go? Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?(They all leave.) 因为我配得上他相信我我真的配不上这一个?不是我已让你们看过每件衣服除非你们想让她永远穿着柠檬黄长裤配上紫红色衣服不论我们选什么她都会说我们选错了没错，就选紫红色吧不错的选择，我要出来了等等，还缺鞋子这一双如何?这是一双日鞋她去的地方大家会穿得更正式?能找鞋跟细一点的鞋吗?我找不到紫红色的晚鞋不过有双银色的鞋或许适合不行，一定要紫红色除非我们另找一件套装不,等等我看看后面或许有天呀你没事吧，孩子?没事，只是奶奶的东西各位如何?准备好了没?早上妈来电叫我别扎头发你知道我的耳朵并不是我最漂亮的部位吗?有时候我认为是抱歉，我迟到了我找不到我的”耳圈”你是指你的耳环?我刚说什么?你穿这一双?对，保罗从义大利寄来的我们这儿没卖鞋子?早安，准备走了没?穿戴整齐后我们不是都好看许多?人模人样的刚刚的仪式简单而隆重可不是吗过来，心肝你该使用晚霜了[Scene: The cemetary, after the funeral.]Monica: It was a really beautiful service.Mrs. Geller:It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream. (Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notice s Chandler watching)Joey: What?Chandler: Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger.Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV) Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral?Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception. Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)Rachel: Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.Phoebe: God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)All: God! Ross!Ross: I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised... [Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.] Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.Ross: What, what is it?Phoebe: You missed a belt loop.Ross: Oh! No-n-Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm.Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)Chandler: Oh, no-Andrea: Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter.Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is. (They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great.Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh?Ross:Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice...Ross: ...Chandler! 怎么了?没什么，你的外套很吵瞧，巨人队对牛仔队你在葬礼时看足球赛? 不，比赛还没开始我要在接待会上看比赛你真是个恶劣的人不，保罗送我的新鞋希望没坏你没事吧?多美好的一天啊什么?我是指天气对，空气，树木即使奶奶已过世就好像...罗斯，你还好吧?罗斯…我没事只是我最大的梦魇终于成真别担心我只是看看你是否肌肉痉挛怎么了?你的皮带穿孔掉了一个是痉挛来，孩子我擦伤时都用这个妈，谢谢抱歉，我叫安朵拉桃乐丝的女儿我叫钱德我不知道桃乐丝是谁看看谁出现了感觉如何?感觉好多了…那些药丸可真有效对，不是第一次那两颗而是后来那两颗我爱你们大家你们是最棒的我爱我的妹妹我爱菲此钱德，我爱你听着，如果你想当同志就当吧我不在乎你说得对瑞秋我最爱你了Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.Monica: Thank you. They're yours.Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's.(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)Mr. Geller:Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was. [Scene: Central Perk, the gang are looking at old photos.] Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?Ross: That little naked guy would be me.Rachel: Aww, look at the little t hing.Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler: Who are those people?Ross: Got me.Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.Rachel:Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile) Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.Closing Credits[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]Chandler: Hey, Lowell.Lowell: Hey, Chandler.Chandler: So how's it going there in Financial Services?Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?Chandler:Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not.Lowell: I know. That's what I told her.Chandler: Really.Lowell: Yeah.Chandler: So- you can tell?Lowell: Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar. Chandler: So you don't think I have a, a quality?Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.Chandler: He is?Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)Chandler:Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.End 这个光屁股的是谁?那个人就是我瞧那个小东西对，那是我的小弟弟成熟点行吗?那些人是谁?可把我问倒了中间那一个是奶奶我看看我和大伙儿摄于在爪哇乔家摩妮卡你和你奶奶长得一模一样当时她几岁?1939年…39年24或25岁他们好像玩得很开心看…光屁股的摩妮卡我看看不，还是我我在尝试新事物罗威钱德会计部门的情况如何?简直一团乱你呢?很好我不知道雪莉如何对你说我这个人但是我不是（同性恋）.我知道，我也是这样告诉她的真的?你看得出来?十之八九我们有某种…雷达这么说你认为我没那种调调代表男同志发言我得说没有对了，你朋友布莱恩,他是他是?而且你配不上他我配不上他我可以得到布莱恩如果我愿意你好,布莱恩。
