保全大局舍手表--双语幽默笑话

英语爆笑小笑话带翻译超搞笑英语爆笑小笑话：Goethe's ToleranceGoethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I will, with that Goethe retreated aside.一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步，碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。

两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。

接着评论家说道：我从来不给傻瓜让路。

可我给，说完歌德退到了一边。

英语爆笑小笑话：Good SightLawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。

英语爆笑小笑话：拿破仑病了Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."杰克到一所大学去学历史。

最搞笑的英文小笑话大全爆笑英文笑话大全爆笑最搞笑的英文小笑话大全爆笑最搞笑的英文小笑话大全爆笑最搞笑的爆笑英文小笑话：一直装到免费为止Deciding to do some back-yard landscaping, my father-in-law went to the brickyard to buyquantity of brick. When he asked the salesclerk about the cost, the man replied. “The moreyou buy, the cheaper they are.“ "Is tha t so" said my father-in-law." Then just keep loading them on my truck until they"refree. 我岳父打算买些砖来修整一下后院。

他到砖厂拉砖，当问到砖价时，售货员回答说：“买得越多，价格越低。

” “真的吗”我岳父说，“那么往我的卡车上猛装吧，一直装到免费为止。

” 最搞笑的爆笑英文小笑话：世界上最好的售货员Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay." " I" m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I"ll go in and ask for thatjob." He went into the building and spoke to the manager. "I"m the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job. " "You must prove you"re the best," the manager said. "I"ll pass every test you give me." Harry told him. "Good." The manager took a box of candy out of his desk . "Last week, I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before theend of the week, you can have the job. "That"s easy," Harry said. He took the box of candy and left the office. Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy .He couldn"t sell one. The candy was so bad he couldn"t even give it away. At the end of the week he went back to the manager. "I"m sorry, sir, " he said," I was wrong about myself . I"m not the best salesman in theworld, but I know who is. "Oh," said the manager. "Who" "The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy, " Harry said. 哈里在橱窗上看到一则广告。

最爆笑的双语英语笑话Much worse那就更糟了didn't you shout for help when you were robbed Of your watch?警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢?Man: lf I had opened my mouth,they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。

那就更糟了。

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, ¨I hear sirens. Jump!"两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西o第一个说：¨我听到警报响了，快跳吧!”The second one said, ¨But we're on the 13th floor!”第二个说：¨但是我们在13层啊!"The first one scre amed back, ¨This is no time to be superstrtiousl!第一个朝他大喊道：¨都什么时候了，还这么迷信!¨A kid asked his dad,"Hey,Pop,can you write in the dark?”有个孩子问他爸爸：嘿，爸，你能在黑暗中写字吗?The dad answered,"Sure. What do you want me to write?”爸爸回答：当然。

你要我写什么?The boy said, "Your name on this report card,"男孩说：在这个成绩单上写你的名字。

”A tricky girl said, "Mom,I got a one hundred in school today!一个狡猾的女孩说："妈妈，我今天在学校得了一个100分!"The mom replied, "Great,SW8etie,tell me about it."妈妈回答说："太好了，小可爱。

英语笑话加翻译笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点。

下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话带翻译篇一个人理财(双语阅读)A silvedess mon goes fast ihrough the market.身上无钱，市场疾行There once was a rich man who was near deeth. He wru very grieved because he had worked so hard for his numey. So he began to pray Lhat he rmght he ahle to take some of his weakh with him.曾经有一个富人快要死了，他租伤心，因为为了钱他才拼命工作，他想把钱带着一起上天堂，因此他开始祈祷恳求他能随身带一些财产.A:Sorry,but you car't take your wealth with you.对不起.你不能带走财产。

B:Could you speakto Cod to see if he might hend the rules?你跟上帝说说情吧，看能否网开一面?(Then he continue to pray his wealth could follow him,and the angel reappears.)他继续祈祷能带上财产，天使又出现了。

A:The Cod has decided to allow you to take one suitcase with yourself.上帝允许你随身带一个手提箱。

(Overjoyed.the man gaLhers his largest suitcase and fills it,with pure gold bar s and places it beside his hed.Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Catea of Heaven to greet St.Peter. Peter sees the suit-case.富人欣喜若狂，拿了他最大的手提箱，里面装满了金条，然后放在床边。

英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译上世纪90年代,随着苏联解体,社会紧张气氛的缓解,各种笑话集如雨后春笋般冒出,受到俄国草根民众热捧。

下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译精选婚姻就是这么一回事This is marriage all aboutMy wife-to-be and I were at the county clerk's office for our marriage license. After recording the vital information — names, dates of birth, etc. —the clerk handed me our license and deadpanned, "No refunds, no exchanges, no warranties."婚姻就是这么一回事我和未婚妻在县办公室领结婚证。

在记录完重要信息——名字，出生日期，等后——办事员递给我结婚证，脸无表情地说，“不退钱，不包换，不保修。

”英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译阅读承诺的结果 The consequencesFather: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. Whatwere you doing last term?父亲：我曾向你许诺，如果你考试及格就给你买俩小汽车，可你却未能做到。

你上学期一直在干什么呀?Son: I was learning to drive a car.儿子：我在学开汽车。

英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译学习什么都有,你要买什么?A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma'am, we haven't had any for a while, and itdoesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。

短一些的英语笑话带翻译精选短一些的英语笑话带翻译精选笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。

笑话可以使人轻松愉悦，忘记忧愁困扰。

店铺分享短一些的英语笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家! 短一些的英语笑话带翻译：偷得太贵了,我买不起A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen,"said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy thewatch, and we forget about this?"一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。

“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。

我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This isa little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。

小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点。

你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。

"短一些的英语笑话带翻译：快餐店里的爱情与假牙A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that theyhad ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully dividedthe hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had halfof them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of hiswife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.一个年轻人在麦当劳里看见一对年迈的夫妇在吃午餐。

英语笑话（一）Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。

但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。

这个答案很有意思吧？Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?A: By treading on his corn?如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。

Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。

你说呢？Q: What do people do in a clock factory?A: They make faces all day.一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?A: Keep him awake.怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。

虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话（二）He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

小女孩回答道。

2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。

幽默双语英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子我叔叔他真是一个大人物，下面有1000个人。

他真是一个大人物。

干什么的?墓地守墓人。

想了解更多的，请跟来笑话网吧。

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。

在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。

这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。

”My uncle has 1000 men under him.He is really somebody. What does he do?A maintenance man in a cemetery.我叔叔下面有1000个人。

他真是一个大人物。

干什么的?墓地守墓人。

The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house， only a few huts made of wood， or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked himif he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes，”he said.“Rain is ing， and wind.Then there will be snow for two days， but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me，”he said，“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied，“I heard it on the radio.”有两个人在美洲一个非常荒凉偏僻的地区旅行。

英语幽默笑话集锦下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话集锦，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译一：The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译二：When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and number of people." Do you take children?" the man asked."No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译三：A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。

英式幽默文案短句有趣句子1. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.4. Be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.5. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"6. The rotation of Earth really makes my day.7. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.8. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!9. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.10. I entered ten puns into a joke contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.11. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.12. I'm reading a book about reverse psychology. Don't read it, it's terrible!13. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.14. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.15. I tried to take a photo of some fog, but I mist.16. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.17. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.18. I'm writing a book on elevators. It's an uplifting story!19. I accidentally drank some food coloring. I feel like I've dyed a little inside.20. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.21. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.22. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!23. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"24. I'm writing a book on elevators. It's an uplifting story!25. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.26. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!。

跟英语有关的超搞笑笑话随着中国经济的发展和与国际社会联系日益紧密,中国人对于英语的重视也与日俱增,对于英语学习的狂热程度愈发高涨。

下面是店铺带来的跟英语有关的超搞笑笑话，欢迎阅读!跟英语有关的超搞笑笑话篇一Caught stealing 预算超标的小偷A shoplifter(商店扒手) was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelrystore. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook(骗子，坏蛋) looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。

“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。

我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。

小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。

"跟英语有关的超搞笑笑话篇二Warning 提醒Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by thedisarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn't you?" I teased."Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。

英语套路幽默句子短句1. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!2. I used to dislike math, but then I realized decimals have a point.3. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.4. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!6. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.7. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!8. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.9. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!10. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.11. I hate insects. They bug me.12. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.13. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.14. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!15. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!16. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!17. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.18. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.19. I used to dislike math, but then I realized decimals have a point.20. I hate insects. They bug me.21. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.22. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.23. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!24. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.25. I used to dislike math, but then I realized decimals have a point.26. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!27. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.28. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.。

小学生用来表的演英语笑话大全(一)谁说我老了?Chaucer was over seventy , but he was not convinced of his age. At a time he boasted: “My physical strength is as strong as that I was young.” The opposite person asked: “ What do you rely on? ” Chaucer said : “ There is a big stone roller in my compound. I couldn’t heave it when was young, neither can I now.”乔叟年过六旬，仍不服老。

一次，他对人夸耀说：“我和年轻时力气一样大。

”对方问：“何以见得?”乔叟说：“我家大院里有个石头，年轻时我举不起来，现在我还是举不起来。

”(二)有其父必有其子Son: Papa, what' s the meaning of " Like father, like son"?Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?儿子：爸爸，“有其父必有其子”是什么意思呀?父亲：狗崽子，你在学校又干什么见不得人的事啦?小学生用来表的演英语笑话欣赏(一)您的大衣着火了The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to countfifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. The next dayhe was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly.Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire,sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。

经典幽默的英语笑话双语学习英语可以是一个枯燥的过程，也可以是一个有趣的过程。

小编在此献上搞笑的英语笑话，希望对大家有所帮助。

英语幽默小笑话：大胆的猜想Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery,he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The professor asked if anyone knewwhat that meant.我们的物理教授千方白计地引导学生讨论阿基米德的排水原理。

他告诉我们，阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他进入池子，发现水涨高了，溢出池沿。

他对这一发现十分激动，跑到街上高喊:"Eureka, eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。

One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked! I'm naked!"一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”英语幽默小笑话：上帝在看着The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.God is watching."学生们在食堂排队吃午餐。

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I thinkthat he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院. 他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害 ." 医生说 :" 我怕他已经死了 ." 听到医生的话 , 这个男人转动着头说 :" 我没死 , 我还活着 ." 妻子说 :" 安静 , 医生比你懂得多 ."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very tries to get on,but no one gives way to him."Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too 'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou 'm the driver."the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤 . 一位男士想上车 , 但是没有人给他让路 ."喂 , 让我上车 !" 那位男士喊道 ."车太挤了 , 你最好坐下一辆 " 车上的一位乘客对他说 ."但是没有我你们走不了 . 我是司机 !" 那位男士说道 .3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, theboy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, myson," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad,"the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

幽默搞笑双语笑话幽默搞笑双语笑话笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。

下面店铺为大家带来幽默搞笑双语笑话，希望大家喜欢!幽默搞笑双语笑话1:One day a boy came to his teacher and said:"Teacher，my dad wants to know if you like roast pig.”一天有个男孩去对他老师说:“老师，我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。

”"I certainly do，”said the teacher, "And you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.”“当然口，”老师说，“去告诉你父亲，多谢他想着我。

”Days passed，and nothing more was said about the roast pig.好几天过去了，男孩再没提起烤猪肉的事儿。

Finally the teacher said to the boy，“I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig.”最后老师对男孩说:“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。

”"Yes，"said the boy，“He did intend to，but the pig got well.”幽默搞笑双语笑话2:Mother asked her litter daughter who was reading a book，"What are you reading，dear?”妈妈问正在读书的女儿:“亲爱的，你读的是什么书?"I don’t know，”the litter girl answered.女儿回答道:“我不知道。

”"You don't know? But you were reading aloud，so you must know.”“你不知道?你不是在朗读吗?你应该知道的。

小学生用来表的演英语笑话大全篇一：小学生英语幽默笑话12英语笑话小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。

过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。

他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！英语笑话某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am HongTao Liu. 外宾曰：我还是方片七呢！英语笑话某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。

一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.英语笑话英语老师问一个学生，“ How are yoi是什么意思”学生想how是怎么，you是你，于是回答“怎么是你？” 老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you ?是什么意思？” 这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你?”英语笑话小明在学习英语时，总爱把英语单词的读音用汉字标注出来。

因此很产生了一个大笑话。

老师在教学问价钱一课时，问某商品多少钱时用“Howmuch'，小明赶紧在这个词组下面用汉字标出了他的读音“好吗嘛”。

标完后还洋洋得意，觉得自己学会了。

一次，小明到商店买东西，老板是个老外。

小明想要一瓶可乐，说了半天老板听不懂，小明只好用手指到可乐，老板才把可乐拿给他。

等到付钱时，小明马上想到自己学的英语知识，高兴的说“好吃嘛？ ' ，老板摇摇头，小明挠挠头，心想是不是记错了，又说“嘛好吃？ ' 。

老板摇摇头，小明急了说道“吃好嘛？ '。

老板摇摇头，小明情急之中冒出“好嘛吃'。

学习英语贵在坚持！每日英语，天天更新！养成良好的学习习惯！有计划的学习，积少成多，一定能够学好英语！每日一笑目录What time is it now? ............................................................. - 1 -Two Pieces of Cake ........................................................... - 2 -My Boss and I...................................................................... - 2 -Clean Glass.......................................................................... - 4 -Frog........................................................................................ - 5 -Limerick ................................................................................ - 7 -What Are The Two Words？............................................ - 8 -He Swore○1to Die.............................................................. - 8 -The New Baby ..................................................................... - 9 -A Gentleman...................................................................... - 10 -I'm Glad .............................................................................. - 11 -A Silly Father..................................................................... - 13 -Is He Dying? ...................................................................... - 15 -Six or Twelve? .................................................................. - 16 -Rope or Ox? ........................................................................ - 16 -Are They Worn Out? .......................................................... - 17 -2012/2/21What time is it now?The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud.""How will that help?" said the second boy."Just do it," insisted the first.Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted, "Keep it down! Don't you know it's threeo'clock in the morning?"现在几点了？两个男孩子在后院露营，他们不知道到了晚上几点钟。