荆轲刺秦王英语话剧(搞笑)

荆轲刺秦王The man wants to kill the king演员表：秦王荆轲太医秦舞阳赵高对话原文：Outside荆轲：Do you know why we are sent to meet the king of Qin?秦舞阳：Our king of Yan told us to find a chance to kill the king of Qin when we meet him!荆轲：That's right! Are you scared? It's a dangerous task, we will die whenever we kill him or not!秦舞阳：I am Qin Wuyang, I had killed someone when I was just 8 years old. There is nothing that I will be scared of in the word.荆轲：You are really brave! I trust we can make it with your help! Let's go to meet the king of Qin.Inside宦官：My lord, the messengers of the country-Yan want to meet you, they are outside. 秦王：Just let them in! I just want to occupy the small country, I want to know what they want to do or give in.宦官出，请荆轲，秦舞阳进入,秦舞阳发抖秦舞阳小声：I am so scared. I want to go home and find my mother.荆轲：Are you kidding? You just say you are a brave man.秦舞阳：I am so sorry. I will keep calm down.荆轲上前：My lord, I am Jingke, the represent of my country,Yan. I am sent to make peace with you.秦王：You think too much. I can occupy your country whenever I want.荆轲：That's not benefit to you because a lot of your soldiers will die or bleed. But if you could make peace with us, we will give one state of our country to you without any money.秦王：Let me think twice. Oh! It's a good idea. But what state will you give me? 荆轲：I take a map of my country. I can show you the state in this map. And here is the map。

荆轲刺秦王很久很久以前中国战国时代，有两个国家的王子------ -燕国的白哥和秦国的嬴政，他们是很好的朋友，他们经常一起赏花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。

有一天，他们还在游山玩水的时候，突然发现了一面镜子，一面有着神奇魔力的镜子，这是一面可以回答任何问题的魔镜。

于是，白哥和嬴政迫不及待的凑了上去。

白哥（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜啊魔镜，我帅么？魔镜说：“当然了我的殿下，你是整个燕国最帅的人”白哥高兴状然后，张璐上，问：魔镜啊魔镜，告诉我，那谁是这个世界上最帅的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (魔镜：It’s you)张璐做极度嚣张状。

对白哥说：“小弟啊，拿着这个镜子，自卑去吧，我是这个世界上最帅的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........白哥回到宫中“欺人太甚了，太过分了，我要报复！！！！我的仆人，你在哪里？”仆人上“哦，亲爱的，我来了Honey, I am coming。

”白哥：“错，我应经告诉你多少遍了，你应该叫我最漂亮，最美丽，最英俊，最迷人，最可爱，最聪明和最亲爱的太子丹。

I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“对不起，亲爱的，我知道错了，我完全知道你现在的苦恼，我有一个好主意，那就是~找一个英雄杀了嬴政！”I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）白哥：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做赞许状）好主意，可是谁是好的人选呢？Good idea! But who is the right candidate?仆人：经调查，有两个人比较合适，一个是李莫愁小姐，一个是荆轲，明天他们将为谁是天下第一杀手而决斗。

《荆珂刺秦王》旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, where some crazy people live, who are trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。

荆轲是最有名的剑客并被派去杀清王，嬴政。

但最后他失败了。

你想知道当时发生了什么事？好吧，下面将会告诉你真相。

Action I太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister?镜子，镜子，告诉我，这个世界上最漂亮的人是谁？(画外音：是你，太子丹！)谢谢你的镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。

Action I太子丹（上）: This hateful ying zheng unexpectedly will I under house arrest so long.阿三：Prince .I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子丹：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have one promising persons on hand. he is Mr JinKe.太子丹：Well, show me the Mr JinKe., OK?阿三：Yes.阿三：Prince.jinke is coming.荆轲：See the prince, JingKe to report.太子丹：Now the qin dynasty was broken zhao, I'm afraid I don't protect jing, this go to qin, shoulder the burden country, be careful.荆轲：Your highness trust, jing ke has to make the preparation!太子丹：You prepared some?荆轲：In order to qin dynasty success, I have with the qin ~ ~ ~ language.旁白：Jing ke came to the qin, ying zheng met with him.荆轲：This is Prince dan of the king of judah to map.秦王：What is this !荆轲：This is to kill pig knife.秦王：What! Do you dare to kill me.（秦王与荆轲打斗，荆轲被刺）秦王：Help! The jing ke carried down.。

●旁白： Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country ，there were some crazypeople, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qin,“Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? OK, next show will tell you the truth.●Part one●太子丹 : Yingzheng,that bad guy ,treats me even worse than before.Resorts to lots of personsin his hand,he never cares about me ---the most sensible prince under the sun.Recently,he has got much more cities from my hands.How can I live if these things happen again Hey!! I must think out a good idea. I must make him know who I am . 嬴政,那个坏家伙,对待我比以前更糟了。

仰仗着他手里人多,他从不顾忌我- - -太阳下最明智的王子。

最近,他从我手里夺去了更多的城池。

,如果这些事发生，我如何生活嘿! !我得想出一个好主意。

我要让他知道我是谁。

●太子丹:Indeed, tell me what shall we do now? 事实上,告诉我,我们应该做些什么呢?●阿三:Just keep calm,please!Let me see!只是保持镇静,请!让我看看!Ok get one,we can sent a hero to put Ying Zheng to~~~好的,我找到了,我们可以送一个英雄,把嬴政~ ~●Then, all the beauties,jewelries and cities in Qin is ours~~~ 那么,所有的美女、首饰和城市在秦代是我们的~ ~ ~●太子:Ha, ha~~~. Good idea,Good idea!But do you think who we can sent? 哈哈~ ~ ~。

Unclassified Story of JingkeAction I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(墨镜)：You are beautiful~ You are beautiful~ You are beautiful~ It’s true~ )太子丹（高兴状）：Thank u mirror! （面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy. He will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬且妖里妖气) : Honey, I am coming~~~~太子丹（嫌弃）：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most cute, smart, charming, handsome, graceful, beautiful and dearest Prince Dan”!(节奏越来越快，从again and again开始，节奏感慢慢出来，背景的rap beat加入，后面的内容以rap形式呈现。

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find an awesome killer to kill YingZheng!（作杀状）太子：You are so brilliant! But who is the right choice?阿三：I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss Li Mochou, the other one is Mr. JinKe. Tomorrow they will fight for the honor of No.1 killer.太子：Well, tell me the result as soon as possible.阿三：Yes, my prince!Action II（第一段：拳击赛热身的背景音乐，六人分别簇拥着李莫愁和荆轲从两边上场，一个捶腿，一个揉肩，一个揉脸）（第二段：热身结束，伴舞退场，音乐换成《十面埋伏》，二人手持刀剑，架势摆开，慢慢绕圈踱步）荆轲: Lady first.李莫愁: Don’t look down on women. You first.荆轲: No no no, I am always a gentleman. I don’t bully woman.李莫愁: Cut your crap. Don’t waste my time! I still have lots of housework to dook?荆轲: Ok, ok. Look! Plane!（手指李莫愁身后，莫愁回头看，荆轲迅速将剑刺向莫愁）李莫愁（倒地）：Ah…you…you bastard…荆轲：Hahahahahahahah. Stupid womam. I am the best!（仰天长笑，潇洒离去）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get. (莫愁气绝身亡)Action III（荆轲乘坐二人手搭轿，华丽登场，表情得意至极。

荆轲刺秦王很久很久以前中国战国时代，有两个国家的王子------ -燕国的白哥和秦国的嬴政，他们是很好的朋友，他们经常一起赏花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。

有一天，他们还在游山玩水的时候，突然发现了一面镜子，一面有着神奇魔力的镜子，这是一面可以回答任何问题的魔镜。

于是，白哥和嬴政迫不及待的凑了上去。

白哥（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜啊魔镜，我帅么？魔镜说：“当然了我的殿下，你是整个燕国最帅的人”白哥高兴状然后，张璐上，问：魔镜啊魔镜，告诉我，那谁是这个世界上最帅的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (魔镜：It’s you)张璐做极度嚣张状。

对白哥说：“小弟啊，拿着这个镜子，自卑去吧，我是这个世界上最帅的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........白哥回到宫中“欺人太甚了，太过分了，我要报复！！！！我的仆人，你在哪里？”仆人上“哦，亲爱的，我来了Honey, I am coming。

”白哥：“错，我应经告诉你多少遍了，你应该叫我最漂亮，最美丽，最英俊，最迷人，最可爱，最聪明和最亲爱的太子丹。

I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“对不起，亲爱的，我知道错了，我完全知道你现在的苦恼，我有一个好主意，那就是~找一个英雄杀了嬴政！”I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）白哥：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做赞许状）好主意，可是谁是好的人选呢？Good idea! But who is the right candidate?仆人：经调查，有两个人比较合适，一个是李莫愁小姐，一个是荆轲，明天他们将为谁是天下第一杀手而决斗。

The man wants to kill the king旁白: 在这个战争时期,各国之间的战争似乎没完没了。

每一个国王或者部长都想找到一些超人来为他们工作。

随着时间的推移,喂养着些超级人类成为了他们流行一时的风气……这是一个crazy的世界。

在这个crazy的世界,有着那么一群crazy的人们,试图用crazy的方展示出那个crazy的历史。

你想知道当时的情形如何吗?下面就是见证真相的时刻。

第一幕：Conspire(密谋)太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜魔镜,告诉我,谁是世界上最漂亮的人?魔镜：是你！宇宙无敌明智英俊的王子殿下！（太子丹高兴状)太子丹（飞吻，妩媚）：谢谢~（面对观众）我是太子丹,魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人（举手，仰天，自恋状）。

但嬴政是个被嫉妒包围的坏家伙,如果镜子告诉他的真相，我相信他会杀了我。

我好害怕，好无助（双手抱肩，娇嫩）。

最近,他从我手中又抢了几块地。

（低手，握拳，恨）要是再发生这种事情。

（停顿）我就去shi！(急)（沉思，突然奸笑）哇嘎嘎嘎嘎！我叫人一起想个主意。

我要让那个始皇知道我是谁。

(向幕里大叫)阿三！阿三！快点出来！阿三(甩~) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹（生气）：我告诉你很多遍了！要喊我“宇宙无敌明智英俊的王子殿下”！阿三（甩！）：Sure, honey!太子丹（晕，再双手互搓，不好意思）：嬴政想要我命…肿么办肿么办肿么办（渐强）！阿三：淡定。

让我想想！（盘坐在地。

两手在头上画画如一休）旁白：当当当，砰！！阿三：哦了,我们可以送一个超人去把嬴政~ ~ ~（作杀状）那么,所有的美女、首饰和城市都是我们的啦~ ~哇嘎嘎嘎嘎嘎 ~（淫笑）太子与阿三作流口水状.太子：哈哈~ ~ ~。

好想法! 二十一世纪最需要的是什么？（群众演员在群众中喊：人才！）（拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）你觉得我们可以送那个过去呢?阿三：我有想过这个问题,我觉得我们可以送西门吹雪过去，他目前在我国荡来荡去。