绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives 第一季 第11-15集 重点词汇 句型 文化背景 (学习精品)

My name is Mary Alice Young.In this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life, but that all changed last Thursday. Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.I made breakfast for my family.I performed my chores.I completed my projects.I ran my errands.In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs.Martha Huber, who'd been startled by a strange popping sound.Her curiosity aroused, Mrs.Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.[Screeams] It's my neeighbor.I think shee's beeeen shot.Theeree's blood eeveerywheeree.Yees, you'vee got to seend an ambulancee.You'vee got to seend onee right now.And, for a moment, Mrs.Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.But only for a moment.If there was one thing Mrs.Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.I was laid to rest on a Monday.After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects.And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.She didn't cook much while moving up the corporate ladder.She didn't have the time.But when her doctor announced she was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea."Why not quit yourjob?" "Kids do better with stay-at-home moms.It would be so much less stressful." But this was not the case.In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from thefast-food restaurant.Lynette would've appreciated the irony if she'd thought about it.But she didn't have the time.- Stop it, stop it, stop it.- But, Mom.No.You aree going to beehavee today.I am not going to bee humiliateed in front of thee eentiree neeighborhood.And, just so you know how seerious I am - What's that? - Santa's ceell-phonee numbeer.How did you geet that? I know someeonee who knows someeonee who knows an eelf.And if any of you acts up, so heelp mee, I will call Santa and I will teell him you want socks for Christmas.Aree you willing to risk that? OK.Leet's geet this oveer with.Gabrielle Solis who lives down the block brought a spicy paella.Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men. Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date.Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal.Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.If you talk to Al Mason at this thing, meention how much I paid for your neecklacee.Why not pin thee reeceeipt to my cheest? Hee leet mee know what hee paid for his wifee's conveertiblee.- Just work it in.- Theeree's no way I can.Why not? At thee Donahuee party eeveeryonee was talking mutual funds.You meentioneed you sleept with half thee Yankeeee outfieeld.It camee up in thee conteext of thee conveersation.Peeoplee aree staring.Keeeep your voicee down.Absoluteely.Wee wouldn't want theem to think wee'ree not happy.Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. Bree was known for her cooking.And for making her own clothes.And for doing her own gardening.And for re-upholstering her own furniture.Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood.Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother.Everyone, that is, except her own family.Paul.Zachary.- Heello, Mrs.Van Dee Kamp.- You shouldn't havee.It was no troublee.Thee baskeet with thee reed ribbon is for your gueests.Thee onee with thee bluee ribbon is just for you and Zachary.It's got rolls, muffins, breeakfast typee things.Thank you.Thee leeast I could do was givee you a deeceent meeal to look forward to in thee morning.I know you'ree out of your minds with grieef.Yees, wee aree.I will neeeed thee baskeets back oncee you'ree donee.Of coursee.Susan Mayer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.Her husband, Karl, always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely made it well.It was too salty the night she and Karl moved into their house.It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Karl's shirt.She burned it the night Karl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.A year had passed since the divorce.Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life.Even one who would make fun of her cooking.Mom, why would someeonee kill theemseelvees? Weell, someetimees peeoplee aree so unhappy, theey think that's thee only way to solvee theeir probleems.- Mrs.Young always seeeemeed happy.- Yeeah.Someetimees peeoplee preeteend to bee onee way, wheen theey'ree totally diffeereent insidee. Likee how Dad's girlfrieend always says nicee things, but wee know shee's a bitch.I don't likee that word, Juliee.But, yeeah, that's a greeat eexamplee.[Man] You'ree weelcomee.[Juliee] What's going on? Sorry I'm latee.- Hi, Susan.- Heey.So what did Karl say wheen you confronteed him? You'll lovee this, hee said, "It doeesn't meean anything.It was just seex." Ah, yees, pagee onee of thee philandeereer's handbook.Theen hee got this Zeen look on his facee and said, "You know, most meen livee livees of quieet deespeeration." - Teell mee you puncheed him.- No.I said, "What do most womeen leead? Livees of noisy fulfillmeent?" - Good for you.- Did hee havee to bang his seecreetary? I had that woman to brunch.An eereect peenis doeesn't havee a conscieencee.Eveen thee limp onees areen't that eethical.This is why I joineed thee NRA.Wheen Reex starteed going to thosee confeereencees, I wanteed it in thee back of his mind thathee had a wifee with a loadeed Smith & Weesson.Lynniee, Tom's always away.Do you eeveer worry hee might? Hee's gotteen mee preegnant threeee timees in four yeears.I wish hee was having seex with someeonee eelsee.So, Susan, is hee gonna stop seeeeing that woman? I don't know.I'm sorry, you guys, I just I just don't know how I'm gonna survivee this.Listeen to mee.Wee all havee momeents of deespeeration.If wee can facee theem heead-on, that's wheen wee find out how strong wee reeally aree. [Far off] Susan.Susan.I was just saying Paul wants us to go oveer on Friday.Hee neeeeds us to heelp pack up Mary Alicee's things.Hee can't facee doing it by himseelf.- Suree.That's finee.- Aree you OK? Yeeah.I'm just so angry.If Mary Alicee was having probleems, shee should'vee leet us heelp heer.What probleems could shee havee had? Shee was heealthy, had a greeat homee, a nicee family. Heer lifee was Our lifee.No.If Mary Alicee was having a crisis, wee'd havee known.Shee livees 50 feeeet away, for God sakees.Gabby, thee woman killeed heerseelf.Someething must'vee beeeen going on.- I wouldn't eeat that if I weeree you.- Why? I madee it.Trust mee.Heey, heey, do you havee a deeath wish? No, I just don't beelieevee that anybody can screew up macaroni and cheeeesee.Oh, my God.How did you? It tastees likee it's burnt and undeercookeed.Yeeah, I geet that a lot.Heeree you go.Thanks.I'm Mikee Deelfino.I just starteed reenting thee Sims' housee neext door.Susan Mayeer.I livee across thee streeeet.Mrs.Hubeer told mee about you.Said you illustratee childreen's books.Yeeah, I'm veery big with thee undeer-fivee seet.- [Hee laughs] - What do you do? Plumbeer.So if you eeveer havee a clog or someething.Now that eeveerybody's seeeen that I brought someething, I should probably just throw this out. - [Baby squeeals] - Ow.Easee up, you littlee vampiree.Lyneettee, I'vee beeeen looking all oveer for you.Aree you awaree of what your sons aree doing? Cannonball! - [Boy] Stop! - [Boys cheeeer] What aree you doing? Wee aree at a wakee.- You said wee could go in thee pool.- I said you could go by thee pool.Do you havee your swimsuits on? Yeeah, wee put 'eem on ourseelvees beeforee wee leeft.You threeee planneed this? All right.That's it.Geet out.- No.- No? I am your motheer.You havee to do what I say.Comee on.Wee want to swim and you can't stop us! [Chatteer] [Shee groans] Heeree.- No! - Geet out.Think I won't geet in this pool and just grab you? Geet out! Oh! Geet oveer heeree.All right, givee mee your arm.You Yah! That's right.Geet oveer heeree.Go, go, go, go, go.Movee it.Out.Geet out.Paul, wee havee to leeavee now.Oncee again, I am so sorry for your loss.Go.Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband.He had other things on his mind.Things below the surface.The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.While some did their cooking and some did their cleaning and some did their yoga others did their homework.- Hi - [dog barks] I'm Juliee.I kickeed my ball into your backyard.Oh, OK.Weell, leet's go round and geet it.- Stay.- [Dog growls] His wifee dieed a yeear ago.In LA theeree weeree too many meemoriees.Hee's reenting for tax purposees, but hopees to buy soon.- I can't beelieevee you weent oveer theeree.- I saw you flirting.Now you know hee's singlee, you can ask him out.Juliee, I likee Mr.Deelfino, I do.I just I don't know if I'm reeady to datee yeet.You neeeed to geet back out theeree.How long has it beeeen sincee you'vee had seex? - Aree you mad I askeed you that? - No, I'm trying to reemeembeer.I don't want to talk to you about my lovee lifee.I wouldn't havee said anything.Just What? I heeard Dad's girlfrieend ask if you'd dateed anyonee sincee thee divorcee.And Dad said hee doubteed it.And theen theey both laugheed.[Dog barks] Heey, Susan.Hi, Mikee.I brought you a housee-warming gift.I should'vee brought someething by eearlieer.- Actually, you'ree thee first to stop by.- Reeally? - Susan knew she was lucky.- Weell An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane and she was the first to find out. She also knew that good news - Heello theeree.travels quickly.Edie Britt was the most predatory divorc�e in a five-block radius.Her conquests were numerous.Varied.And legendary.[Prieest] Wh Ah! Hi, Susan.I hopee I'm not inteerrupting.You must bee Mikee Deelfino.Hi, I'm Ediee Britt.I livee oveer theeree.Weelcomee to Wisteeria Lanee.Susan had met the enemy.And she was a slut.Thank you.What's this? Sausagee puttanesca.It's just someething I threew togeetheer.Weell, thanks, Ediee.That's greeat.I'd invitee you in, but I was in thee middlee of someething.- I'm latee for an appointmeent.- I just wanteed to say hi.And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.Oh, Mikee, I heeard you'ree a plumbeer.But she was reminded that when it came to men Could you stop by lateer and takee a look at my pipees? women don't fight fair.- Suree.Thanks.Byee, Susan.- You can't ordeer mee around.- Gabrieellee.No, no.I'm not going.Tanaka eexpeects eeveeryonee to bring theeir wivees.Eveery timee I'm around that man, hee triees to grab my ass.I madee oveer 200,000 doing busineess with him last yeear.If hee wants to grab your ass, leet him.[Wind chimees] - John.- Ow! Mr.Solis, you scareed mee.Why is that bush theeree? You weeree supposeed to dig it up.- I didn't havee timee.- I don't want eexcusees.Just takee caree of it.I reeally hatee thee way you talk to mee.And I hatee that I speent $15,000 on your diamond neecklacee you couldn't livee without.But I'm leearning to deeal with it.So can I teell Tanaka wee'll bee theeree tomorrow? John, wee havee bandagees top sheelf in thee kitcheen.Thanks, Mrs.Solis.Finee, I'll go.But I'm keeeeping my back preesseed against thee wall thee eentiree timee.Seeee, now this is what a marriagee is all about.Compromisee.- Is your fingeer OK? - Yeeah, it's just a small cut.Leet mee seeee.Mmm.You know, Mrs.Solis, I reeally likee it wheen wee hook up, but, um, you know, I got to geet my work donee and I can't afford to losee this job.This tablee was hand-carveed.Carlos had it importeed from Italy.It cost him $23,000.You want to do it on thee tablee this timee? Absoluteely.[Geentlee classical music] Why can't wee eeveer havee normal soup? Danieellee, theeree is nothing abnormal about basil pur�ee.Oncee, can wee havee a soup peeoplee havee heeard of? - Likee Freench onion or navy beean? - Your fatheer can't eeat onions.Hee's deeathly alleergic.And I won't eeveen dignify your navy beean suggeestion.So, how's thee osso buco? - It's OK.- It's OK? I speent threeee hours cooking this meeal.How do you think it feeeels wheen you say, "It's OK" in that sulleen tonee? Who askeed you to speend threeee hours on dinneer? Excusee mee? Tim Harpeer's mom geets homee from work, pops opeen a can of pork and beeans, and theey'ree eeating, eeveeryonee's happy.- You'd ratheer I seerveed pork and beeans? - Apologizee now, I beeg.I'm saying do you always havee to seervee cuisinee? Can't wee just havee food? - Aree you doing drugs? - What? Changee in beehavior is a warning sign and you havee beeeen as freesh as paint for thee last six months.It eexplains why you'ree always in thee bathroom.- That is not what hee's doing.- Shut up.Mom, I'm not thee onee with thee probleem heeree.You'ree thee onee acting likee shee's running for Mayor of Steepford.Reex seeeeing that you'ree thee heead of this houseehold, I'd appreeciatee you saying someething. Pass thee salt? Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.Indignation.Tom, this is my fifth meessagee and you still haveen't calleed mee back.You must bee having a lot of fun on your busineess trip.I can only imaginee.Gueess what, thee kids and I want to havee somee fun too, so unleess you call mee back by noon, wee'ree geetting a planee and joining you.- Mom.- Not now.Mommy's threeateening Daddy.- Mom.- No, I - Wheeree aree your brotheers? - Noodlees, my favoritee.- Lyneettee Scavo? - [Undeer heer breeath] Crap.Nataliee Kleein.I don't beelieevee it.- Lyneettee.How long has it beeeen? - Yeears.How aree you? How's thee firm? - Good.Eveeryonee missees you.- Yeeah.Wee all say, if you hadn't quit you'd bee running thee placee by now.Yeeah, weell.So how's domeestic lifee? Don't you just lovee beeing a mom? And there it was.The question that Lynette always dreaded.Weell, to bee honeest For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable.So Lynette responded as she always did.She lied.It's thee beest job I'vee eeveer had.[Gasps] - You know what I don't geet? - What? Why you marrieed Mr.Solis.Weell, hee promiseed to givee mee eeveerything I'vee eeveer wanteed.- And did hee? - Yees.Theen why areen't you happy? Turns out I wanteed all thee wrong things.So do you lovee him? I do.So theen why aree wee heeree? Why aree wee doing this? Beecausee I don't want to wakee up onee morning with a suddeen urgee to blow my brains out.- Heey, can I havee a drag? - Absoluteely not.You aree much too young to smokee.How would you feeeel if I useed your child support paymeents for plastic surgeery? Stop beeing neervous.You'ree just asking him to dinneer.No big deeal.You'ree right.So is that your projeect for school? In fifth gradee I madee thee Whitee Housee out of sugar cubees.Stop stalling and go.Beeforee Mikee figurees out hee can do beetteer.Teell mee again why I fought for custody of you.- You weeree using mee to hurt Dad.- Oh, that's right.Oh, God.- Hi.- Heey, Susan.- Aree you busy? - No, not at all.What's up? Weell, I I just, uh, was wondeering if if theeree was any chancee that you, uh I just wanteed to ask if - Ediee.- Heey, theeree, Susan.- What aree you? - I was making ambrosia.And I madee too much so I thought I'd bring somee oveer to Mikee.- What's going on? - Susan was gonna ask mee someething.Uh - I havee a clog.- Excusee mee? - And you'ree a plumbeer, right? - Yeeah.- Thee clog's in thee pipee.- Yeeah, that's usually wheeree theey aree.- Weell, I'vee got onee.- OK.Leet mee geet my tools.Now? You want to comee oveer now? You havee company.I don't mind.Just givee mee two minutees.I'll bee right oveer.[Squeeals quieetly] [Breeathees heeavily] That's it.- Stuff thee hair down.- I stuffeed it.- It's not eenough to clog it.- Heeree.Heeree.Look.Put in this peeanut butteer.And this cooking oil.- Mom - And theesee olivees.- It's not working.- [Doorbeell] Oh, God.That's him.How am I gonna stop up thee sink? Weell, heeree's your probleem. Someebody stuffeed a bunch of Popsiclee sticks down heeree.I'vee told Juliee a million timees not to play in thee kitcheen.Kids, you know.I'll go put in your ordeers and I'll bee back with your platees for thee salad bar. Thank you.Andreew, Danieellee, napkins.Thank you.Theey havee videeo gamees.Can wee go play until our food geets heeree? - This is family timee.I think - Go aheead and play.I know you think I'm angry about coming heeree, but I'm not.Thee kids wanteed a changee of pacee, someething fun.I geet it.Theey'll want someething heealthieer tomorrow, though.- I'm thinking chickeen saltimbocca.- I want a divorcee.I just can't livee in this this deeteergeent commeercial anymoree.Thee salad bar's theeree.Heelp yourseelf.Thank you.Um, I think I'll go geet your salad for you.- Breeee Van Dee Kamp.- Oh, heello, Mrs.Hubeer.Wee didn't geet a chancee to talk at Mary Alicee's wakee.How aree you doing? Bree longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal.But sadly for Bree, admitting defeat was not an option.Greeat.Eveerything is just greeat.I got you thee honeey mustard dreessing.Thee ranch lookeed a littlee bit suspeect.Aree wee gonna talk about what I said? If you think I'll discuss my marriagee in a placee with reest-rooms labeeleed "Chicks" and "Dudees", you'ree out of your mind.- What's in this? - What do you meean? It's salad.- With with onions.- What? - You put onions in my salad.- No I didn't.Oh, wait.[Digging] The sound that awakened my son was something he'd heard only once before.Many years ago when he was quite young.But he recognized it instantly.[Grunts] It was the sound of a family secret.[Grunts] Seven days after my funeral, life on Wisteria Lane finally returned to normal. Which, for some of my friends, was unfortunate.- Mommy, Mommy! - Now what? - Daddy's homee! - [Boys cheeeer] Comee on! Heey, is anybody homee? - Heey! - Heey! I wasn't eexpeecting you for a weeeek.I havee to go back to 'Frisco in thee morning.But I got your call.You soundeed frazzleed.Yeeah.- It's beeeen a littlee rough.- Hi.Yeeah.Peeachees.Did you buy us any preeseents? Oh, God, preeseents.Wait up.Leet mee seeee.- Ohhh! - Yeeah! But I'm not giving it to you unleess you promisee to go outsidee right now and practisee throwing for 20 minutees.- Yeeah! Yeeah! Yeeah! - Punks.Geet out! Who's opeen? Go out.Deeeepeer.Deeeepeer.Touchdown! Oh, my God.Oh, no.You got to bee kidding.I'm eexhausteed.I look teerriblee.I'm coveereed in peeachees.- I'm sorry, baby.I got to havee you.- Weell, is it OK if I just liee heeree? - Absoluteely.- [Shee laughs] - I lovee you.- I lovee you moree Oh, baby.Wait.I was having troublee with sweelling.Thee doctor took mee off thee pill.Put on a condom.- A condom? - Yeeah.What's thee big deeal? Leet's risk it.- Leet's risk it? - Yeeah.- I can't beelieevee you trieed to kill mee.- Yees, weell, I feeeel badly about that.Mrs.Hubeer camee oveer and I got distracteed.It was a mistakee.- Sincee wheen do you makee mistakees? - What doees that meean? It meeans I'm sick of you beeing so damn peerfeect all thee timee.I'm sick of thee bizarree way your hair doeesn't movee.I'm sick of you making our beed in thee morning beeforee I'vee useed thee bathroom.You'ree this plastic suburban houseewifee, with heer peearls and spatula, who says things likee "Wee owee thee Heendeersons a dinneer." Wheeree's thee woman I feell in lovee with who useed to burn thee toast and drink milk out of thee carton? And laugh.I neeeed heer.Not this cold, peerfeect thing you'vee beecomee.Theesee neeeed wateer.Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five minutes, but her husband never knew.Because when Bree finally emerged she was perfect.- I found my eearrings.Wee can go now.- Was John heeree today? Weell, yeeah.Thee lawn hasn't beeeen moweed.I'vee had it.Wee'ree geetting a reeal gardeeneer.- Why? - Aree you deeaf? I just said hee's not doing his job.It's dark.You just can't seeee thee lawn has beeeen moweed.- It hasn't.Feeeel this grass.- I'm not feeeeling thee grass.Leet's just geet going.Comee on, wee'ree latee.- Takee caree of it.- Yees, sir.Theeree's Tanaka.Timee for mee to go and do my dancee.Good luck, sweeeetheeart.You seeee that man just walkeed away? Can you makee suree hee has a drink in his hand all night long? Yees, ma'am.[Squeeals] Mm.- Susan? Susan! - Mrs.Hubeer, how aree you doing? Not too weell, I'm afraid.I'm trying to find someething to soothee my stomach.- It's upseet? - Yeeah.I had thee worst macaroni and cheeeesee at thee wakee.It's beeeen running through mee.And I neeeed to bee at my beest.Ediee Britt's son is speending thee night.Hee's speending thee night? Ediee is having a geentleeman frieend oveer for dinneer, and I think shee plans on eenteertaining into thee weeee hours, if you know what I meean.Oh, heeree's somee antacid.Havee you eeveer trieed this? I can't beelieevee it.This can't bee happeening.Mikee can't likee Ediee beetteer than mee.You don't know what's going on.Maybee theey'ree just having dinneer.You'ree right.Theey'ree doing it.Ediee? Ediee? Heello? Anybody homee? I neeeed to borrow sugar.[# Marvin Gayee: Let's Get It On plays on steereeo] [Ediee] Oh, my God! Oh, yees! Givee it to mee! And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to, the maybe of Mike Delfino, was gone forever.[Sighs] And despite the precariousness of her situation, Susan took a moment to mourn her loss. [Gasps] Oh.[blows] Oh! Oh! [Squeeals] It didn't take Susan long to realize, this was just not her night. [Ediee] Is someebody out theeree? - [Smokee alarm] - Oh, my God! That's smokee! [Sireens] [Two-way radio] Oh, my God.Shee leeft candlees unatteendeed in thee deen.Parameedic said shee was lucky.Shee could'vee beeeen killeed.[Lyneettee] Shee ran out with nothing on.- Shee was having seex with somee guy.- What happeeneed to him? Hee got smokee inhalation.Hee's at thee hospital.Oh.Susan, aree you all right? You look awful.I'm finee.I'm finee.I just, uh, feeeel reeally bad for Ediee.Oh, honeey, don't worry about Ediee.Shee's a strong lady.Absoluteely.Shee'll geet through this.Shee'll find a way to survivee.Wee all do.Comee on.- Wow! What happeeneed? - Mikee! And suddenly there he was.Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.I I thought you weeree uh Wheeree weeree you? I just got back from thee moviees.Ediee had a firee, huh? Yeeah.Yeeah, but shee's finee now.Eveerything's finee now.And just like that, Susan was happy.Life was suddenly full of possibilities.Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.- Hello.- It's mee.- Have anything yet? - No, nothing yeet.But don't worry.I'm deefiniteely geetting closeer.I brought somee champagnee.I thought wee should havee a toast.The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my life.All right, ladiees, lift 'eem up.To Mary Alicee, a good frieend and neeighbor.Wheereeveer you aree, wee hopee you'vee found peeacee.- To Mary Alicee.- To Mary Alicee.Leet's geet this show on thee road.You guys, cheeck out Mary Alicee's clothees.Sizee eeight? Ha! Shee always told mee shee was a sizee six.- Wee found thee skeeleeton in heer closeet.- Not quite, Gabrielle, not quite.- What's that? - A leetteer addreesseed to Mary Alicee.How ironic.To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret, treated so casually.- What aree you doing? That's privatee.- It's opeen.What's thee big deeal? - What doees this meean? - Don't know. Cheeck out thee postmark.Oh, my God.Shee got it thee day shee dieed.Do you think this is why shee? I'm so sorry, girls.I never wanted you to be burdened with this.Oh, Mary Alicee, what did you do?。

Season 1, Episode 17: There Won't Be Trumpetstrumpet: 小号，喇叭；自夸自吹的人-NARRATOR: Previously on Desperate Housewives。

previously: 先前，以前 desperate: 绝望的，不顾一切的前情回顾。

-SUSAN: The police showed me your rap sheet. You killed a man.show: 给…看 rap: 责备 sheet: 单子 rap sheet:〈美俚〉公安部门的刑事犯登记表警察给我看了你的罪证。

你杀了那个人。

-MIKE: Want to hear what happened?你想知道发生什么了吗？-SUSAN: It doesn't matter. Because I will never believe anything you say ever again.matter: 要紧 believe: 相信 ever: 在某时 again: 再，又这不重要。

因为我不会再相信你说的任何话了。

-NARRATOR: Sometimes unexpected visitors...sometimes: 有时 unexpected: 料想不到的有时候不期望看到的来访者--JUANITA: She's cheating on you?cheat on: 对…不贞，不忠诚你认为她有外遇吗？-CARLOS: I think so.我想是的。

--JUANITA: I'll take care of it.take care of: 处理我来搞定。

-CARLOS: Thank you, Mama.谢谢你，妈妈。

-NARRATOR:...lead to unexpected consequences.lead to: 导致，引起 consequence: 后果会导致意想不到的后果。

Episode 01.11 - Move OnMary Alice Voiceover: Previously on "desperate housewives"...Rex: I am just trying to move on with my life.Bree: Are you having an affair with my husband?Mary Alice Voiceover: Suspicion ended in tragedy.Bree: I'm here to see Rex Van De Kamp. Apparently, he had a heart attack.Mary Alice Voiceover: Trust...Carlos: It kills me that I'm putting you through this.Mary Alice Voiceover:...was put on trial.Judge Sullivan: Bring me the passport, and Mr. Solis can visit his mother.Mary Alice Voiceover: And ex-husband...Susan: You walked out on your family.Mary Alice Voiceover:...was replaced.Edie: She is out there throwing herself at Mike Delfino.Mary Alice Voiceover: And everyoneEdie: Wow, your own personal nanny? Swell you.Mary Alice Voiceover:...was getting in over their heads.(Edie Britt stands next to her car, looking thoughtful.)Mary Alice Voiceover: "Edie Britt could never understand why she didn't have any female friends. Of course, she always tried to tell people she didn't need any, but the truth was, it bothered Edie that other women didn't seem to like her. Even after moving to Wisteria Lane, Edie couldn't understand why her neighbors kept their distance."(Flashback to when Edie moved in. She tells one of the movers to be careful, then waves at Susan, Bree, Gabrielle, and Lynette who are sitting on Susan's porch, watching the move-in. They all wave, but when Edie turns away, they whisper to each other.)Mary Alice Voiceover: "And then she met Martha Huber."Mrs. Huber: "Holy!"(Mrs. Huber comes up to Edie, smiling and carrying a covered dish of food. She hands it to Edie, who takes it, smiling.)Mary Alice Voiceover: "Within five minutes, Mrs. Huber managed to disparage what Edie was wearing. In fact, whenever they got together, Mrs. Huber insulted her. She made fun of everything from Edie's makeup to her taste in men."(Edie and Mrs. Huber walk down the street as an attractive male jogger jogs past them. Edie turns to watch him go past her and Mrs. Huber pinches her on the arm.) Mary Alice Voiceover: "Yes, Martha Huber could be cruel, offensive, and downright mean. But Edie didn't care, because she was the first real friend Edie Britt had ever had. But now Martha Huber was missing. She had vanished without a trace, and Edie was not embarrassed to admit, she needed her back. "(A cab pulls up and Edie shakes off her flashback as she walks to the side of it, where the door opens. A woman gets out of the cab. )Felicia: "Edie?"Edie: "Yes."Felicia: "I'm Felicia Tilman. Martha's sister."Edie: "Really!"Felicia: "What's wrong?"Edie: "Oh nothing's wrong, it's just that Martha always said how alike you two were.I just don't see the family resemblance."Felicia: "It's there. It just takes a while to become apparent. Do you have the key to her house?"Edie: "I do. After the police kicked the door in, they put on this temporary lock. Oh, and by the way, the neighbors are coming over at noon. We're going to organize and hand out fliers."Felicia: "The key?"Edie: "Oh right. You know, I can only imagine how worried you must be." Felicia: "I'm not worried, Edie. Martha and I had a very intense bond. We were connected at the most primal level, and a few days ago, I felt this sensation in my soul. That's when it first dawned on me that something had happened to my sister. And when she didn't arrive at my home as scheduled, well, that's when I knew she was dead."Edie: "Oh, honey, no! You mustn't think like that! Martha's only missing!" Felicia: "No, Edie, she's dead. But she's my sister, and I'm going to find out exactly what happened to her."Edie: "Look, Felicia, it's natural to freak out when a loved one is missing." Felicia: "Loved one? Oh, Edie, let me be clear about this. I hated Martha. She was a wretched pig of a woman and the day she died, this world became a better place." Mary Alice Voiceover: "It was in that moment that Edie finally saw the family resemblance."Credits[Outside Mrs. Huber's House]Mary Alice Voiceover: "Mrs. Huber was missing. The words echoed down Wisteria Lane until every last resident was aware of her disappearance. By noon, dozens of neighbors had gathered. Some came to volunteer, some came in sympathy, and some, came to learn exactly what the police knew and what they didn't."(While neighbors pass out fliers amongst each other, Paul stands off to the side, looking down at the flier that reveals Martha is missing.)(A man in a suit takes a flier from the pile and turns to the group of neighbors standing in Mrs. Huber's yard.)Man: "So I'll need you to pass out fliers. Put them in the mall, the park, anywhere you think Mrs. Huber might have been seen. We need to jump on this; time is of the essence. Edie, would you like to say something?"Edie: "On behalf of Martha, and her sister Felicia, I'd like to thank you all for coming here today. You know, my last conversation with Martha was one of anger. And I'll never forgive myself for the things that I said. I lay awake at night thinking about it."(She starts sobbing and turns to cry on the shoulder of the man in the suit.) Lynette: "I don't know how she did it, but Edie managed to make this all about her."Gabrielle: "She's a talented girl, our Edie."Susan: "Has anybody talked to Bree? How's Rex doing?"Lynette: "She's bringing him home from the hospital today."Susan: "Well, I don't know how he had a heart attack. He was so young." Gabrielle: "Hey, how creepy is Mrs. Huber's sister?"Lynette: "I know. The way she was talking about Mrs. Huber, it was like she was already dead."Gabrielle: "You don't think she is..."Susan: "Oh no, I'm sure she's fine. We're talking about Mrs. Huber. She's like a roach!"(The women walk off and Paul walks up to Felicia.)Paul: "I just wanted you to know that everyone on Wisteria Lane is praying for your sister's safe return."Felicia: "Oh, I seriously doubt that."(She turns and walks off.)[Rex's Hospital Room](Looking through the window of Rex's hospital room, a nurse can be seen checking his heartbeat with a stethoscope. Outside the room are Bree, Danielle, and Andrew.) Danielle: "What do you mean, you're not taking care of him?"Andrew: "Dad's being released today. He's got to have a place to recuperate." Bree: "Well, then he can go to a motel because he's not allowed back in my house." Danielle: "I thought you two were getting along. What happened?"Bree: "That's - between your father and me."Andrew: "You're so selfish. You know, I'm so looking forward to the day I get to put you in a nursing home."Bree: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Andrew, but my plan is to have an embolism and to die young!"Andrew: "Yeah, well we're all rooting for you, but you might not be so lucky!" Bree: "Andrew!"Andrew: "You want to see how long I can hold a grudge? Go ahead and abandon my father, because I promise you, you'll be sorry."Bree: "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what -"Andrew: "Knew what? Well, come on, tell me! Because I'd love to know what my father did that was so awful!"Bree: "Fine. I will see him through this, but after that, your father can rot in hell for all I care!"(She walks off.)Danielle: "We're not like other families, are we?"Andrew: "No. We're not."[Gabrielle's House](Carlos's lawyer, Mr. Hartley, and Gabrielle are in the living room while Yao Lin cleans around them.)Mr. Hartley: "Gabrielle, it's not my fault that your bank accounts are frozen." Gabrielle: "I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying, fix it!"Mr. Hartley: "Well, I wish I could, but the folks at the justice department aren't very sympathetic."Gabrielle: "I'm running out of money. In a couple of weeks, I'm gonna be screwed." Yao Lin: "Why don't you hock some of your jewelry? There's a lot of stuff you never wear, and most of it's ugly."Gabrielle: "Don't you have a toilet to scrub?"(Yao Lin leaves the room.)Gabrielle: "I'm just so angry with Carlos. What was he thinking, exporting goods made from slave labor? Why couldn't he have embezzled like other white collar criminals?"Mr. Hartley: "All the justice department wants is to make sure that Carlos doesn't skip the country. Now, if he is released on bail, I can argue that he needs money to live on, and they'll probably unfreeze one of the smaller accounts."Gabrielle: "But they won't release him on bail until they get the passport."Mr. Hartley: "Exactly. You haven't found that yet, have you?"Mary Alice Voiceover: "Gabrielle wanted her old lifestyle back, no question, but she wanted Carlos to suffer for his betrayal even more. "(Flashback to Gabrielle looking at Carlos's passport in her hands before throwing it into the fire.)Gabrielle: "I'm still searching."Mr. Hartley: "Well, in that case, you might want to think about looking for a job." Yao Lin (walking by): "Hah!"[Susan's House](Susan and Mike are in the kitchen together.)Susan: "So, I had a really good time."Mike: "I bet you did."(The doorbell rings. Susan takes a moment to run her hand down Mike's back, ending on his buttocks and giving them a squeeze before going to answer the door.) Susan: "Gotcha."(Mike turns and gives her a happy sheepish grin.)(Susan answers the door and it's Karl.)Karl: "Hey, is this a bad time?"Susan: "For you? Of course it is."Karl: "That's cute. Tax stuff. I need your signature."Susan: "We've been divorced over a year."Karl: "2003."(Karl walks in.)Susan: "Well, please. Just come on in. Uh, Mike, I don't think you've officially met my ex, Karl Mayer."Mike: "Oh hey! Mike Delfino."Karl: "Right. Plumber."(Mike gives Karl a look before turning to Susan.)Mike: "Yeah, I don't have the right washer for this faucet, so I'm just going to go across the street and get it."(Susan laughs as he brushes against her, then walks to the door, closing it behind him.)Karl: "So he seems okay."Susan: "Yeah, he is. So what do you want me to sign? Oh, I see."Karl: "By the way, Julie told me about her birthday plans."Susan: "Yeah, we're going to a restaurant downtown. A guy who plays piano and an open mike. Julie got a bunch of her girlfriends together, so we're just going to make a night of it."Karl: "Julie loves to sing. It sounds nice."Susan: "Here you are."Karl: "All righty."Susan: "Give my best to Brandi."Karl: "Actually, um, we're not together anymore."Susan: "You're not? What happened?"Karl: "I caught her in bed with another guy. Go ahead. Do your happy dance. You deserve it."Susan: "No, no really, I'm, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I am."(Karl leans forward and gives Susan a hug, and holds on.)Susan: "Uh..."Karl: "It's just really hard for me right now. Thanks."(Mike walks back in and sees them. Susan motions to Mike, makes the hand sign of the phone, and then silently mouths the words 'Call me.' He walks back out, closing the door quietly behind him.)(Karl finally lets Susan go.)Susan: "Uh, try ripping up old photos. It helps."Karl: "Well, have fun this weekend. Let me know how the party goes."Susan: "Karl, do you want to join us?"(Karl makes a series of hand gestures that indicate he's at first going to refuse, but then he walks back over to Susan and gives her another hug.)Karl: "Oh Susan, you're the best."Susan: "Oh, well..." (small squeal) "I am the best, aren't I."[Lynette's House](Lynette and Tom lie in bed. Lynette looks over a list she's made of things to do, written on the back of the Missing Mrs. Huber flier.)(She turns to Tom.)Lynette: "You know, if we're going to buy a water heater, we should talk about it. We could go to the mall tomorrow. They're having a sale."Tom: "Could we talk about this tomorrow?"Lynette: "Well, I'm just trying to plan my day."Tom: "Please honey, I'm so tired."Lynette: "Okay."(She takes off her glasses and turns off the light.)Lynette: "Hon?"Tom: "Huh?"Lynette: "Did you set up the coffee maker?"Tom: "Oh. No. Uh, you know, I'll do it in the morning. I promise I'll get up early and do it."Lynette: "Tom..."Tom: "Oh..."Lynette: "e on."(He gets up.)Lynette: "Thanks."Tom: "Yeah."(Downstairs in the darkened laundry room off of the kitchen, Claire puts clothing in the washer. She takes off her socks, looks down at her robe, notices a stain, and then, after looking around, removes the robe. She quickly throws it in with the other clothes, starts the washer, then quickly jogs through the kitchen, her arms crossed across her chest.)(Tom comes down the stairs, stopping abruptly when he sees Claire.)Tom: "Claire?"(Claire gasps, then quickly turns around so her back is to him.)Tom: "Um, um, I'm, uh. Wow, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were up."Claire: "Yeah, I, I, I thought you were sleeping. I--I was just going upstairs. Do you want me to make the coffee."Tom: "Yeah! Yeah, that'd be great! I'm just gonna, um, go back up to my room." Claire: "Okay"Tom: "Good night."Claire: "Good night."(Tom returns to the bedroom, smiling.)Lynette: "Just so you know, if we go to the mall, we can go to the shoe store. You said you wanted new running shoes."(Tom gets in bed and leans over her. Lynette looks at him.)Lynette: "What?"(She turns and looks into puppy dog eyes filled with intention.)Lynette: "Oh."(She giggles. He moves in closer, and then she rolls over on top of him as they kiss.) [The Next Morning]Mary Alice Voiceover: "The next morning while the search for Martha Huber continued, Lynette discovered a little family secret. One she wasn't even looking for. "(Claire comes down the stairs and looks around before heading into the kitchen.) Lynette: "Good morning."Claire: "Good morning."Lynette: "Want some coffee?"Claire: "Uh, yeah, thanks! I didn't want to come down until Tom left for work. Still a little embarrassed."Lynette: "About what?"Claire: "Oh, he didn't tell you? Well, actually, it's kind of funny. Um, I was doingsome laundry, and I noticed that the robe I was wearing had some baby food on it, so I threw it in, figuring I could dash upstairs while everyone was asleep. And then I ran into Tom, while I was totally naked."Lynette: "So, Claire, when did this incident occur?"Claire: "I don't know. It was pretty late. I think he might have come down to make coffee or something."Lynette: "You don't say."[Modeling Agency](The modeling agent, Mr. Gibbs, flips through a book of Gabrielle's work.)Mr. Gibbs: "Wow! Wow! Wow! Well, this is certainly impressive. I can definitely get you work as a model. But you do realize it's different from the runway work you did in New York and Milan."Gabrielle: "Of course. I made ten thousand dollars a day. I don't expect to, to make that here."(She glances up at a poster on the wall, which sports the slogan: "Try the beer that's #1 among mermaids.")Mr. Gibbs: "That's good. Because you won't."Gabrielle: "Yeah. So what do you got?"Mr. Gibbs: "Well, there is something. Uh, they need a model to demonstrate the new Buick Lacrosse, at the Fairview Mall. It's just going to be you and the car on a revolving platform. Three hundred bucks for the day."Gabrielle: "Uh, what else do you have?"Mr. Gibbs: "Sure, um, ooh. Can you swing a sword? Sci-fi convention needs someone to dress up as a warrior princess."Gabrielle: "A warrior princess? Mr. Gibbs. I am a professional model. Look at this bone structure. This face is a cash cow, and if you don't have the vision to take advantage of that, then maybe I'm at the wrong agency."Mr. Gibbs: "Hey, look, honey. I'm the only modeling agent in a hundred mile radius.I book women for boat shows and garden tool expose and if you don't like it, move back to the city."Gabrielle: "This, um, Buick thing. Does it include lunch?"[Bree's House](Bree sets a tray of food down next to the couch where Rex is lying. He sits up, breathing heavily from exertion.)Rex: "Just so you know, I really am grateful for everything you're doing for me." Bree: "Oh, I don't need your gratitude. You're only here because your children are master extortionists."Rex: "So you didn't tell them about..."Bree: "Your adultery? No. I decided to keep that little gem all to myself."(Bree begins cleaning up around the living room.)Rex: "Listen, I know this is a real imposition."Bree: "Yes, it is. The doctor said you could be here for weeks."Rex: "Would it make you feel any better if I told you I'm sorry for what I did?" Bree: "Yes, it would...if I still felt anything for you. But as it stands, the place youused to occupy in my heart is very much empty now."Rex: "You must still feel something for me."Bree: "And why do you think that?"Rex: "Oh, come on, Bree, look at this. You're using the good china, freshly pressed napkins, flowers from the garden. This tray was prepared with loving care." Bree: "Do me a favor, Rex. Please don't mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection."(She stalks out, taking the small vase with a flower in it off of the tray with her.) [Susan's House, nighttime](Susan kisses Mike on the bed. She glances over at her nightstand and sees the missing fliers for Mrs. Huber lying there.)Susan: "Hold on a sec."(She turns them upside down.)Susan: "Okay, now I'm good."Mike: (chuckles)Susan: "What?"Mike: "You're just - God, I love you."Susan: "Oh! Well, that's great!"Mike: "Um. Wait. Wait. That just kind of popped out."Susan: "No, No! It's fine. It just kind of caught me off guard. I mean, I want to say it back."Mike: "Yeah, but you're not ready. It's okay."Susan: "You're not mad, are you?"Mike: "No! God! We haven't been dating that long, and you've got other issues. Forget it."Susan: "Good."(He rolls her over so he's on top and they kiss again.)Susan (pulling away): "Issues? What kind of issues do you think I have?"Mike: "You know, I retract my earlier statement. I no longer love you. In fact, I just think of you as a really good buddy."Susan: "No. No, no, no. You obviously think you have some insight into my soul, so please, go ahead, dazzle me."Mike: "Your divorce left you hurt and vulnerable."Susan: "Big insight. The postman knows that."Mike: "And there's a chance you might still have feelings for your ex."Susan: "What? I loathe Karl, and the postman will back me up on that, too." Mike: "I'm sure part of you does hate him, but, you know, maybe part of you is still hung up on him."Susan: "Where are you getting this?"Mike: "Well, he broke up with the woman he left you for, and what was the first thing you did? You hugged him and invited him to a party."Susan: "Okay, the analysis part of this evening is now over."Mike: "Hey, you asked."Susan: "Well, you know what? You're going to come to Julie's party tomorrow night,and you're gonna see Karl and I together, and you're going to understand once and for all that I have no feelings for him whatsoever."Mike: "Actually, I have tickets for a basketball game tomorrow night."Susan: "Actually, you're coming to the party tomorrow. And that's the end of it." Mike (to himself): "That is what I get for saying 'I love you'."Susan: "What?"(Mike deflects the question by taking a drink from a glass of wine.) [Pharmacy](Bree steps up to the counter.)Bree: "Hello, George."George: "Mrs. Van de Kamp. You're looking lovely today."Bree: "You always say the nicest things."George: "Well, it's, uh, it's true."Bree: "Listen, I have a prescription here for Rex. I don't know if you heard, but he had a heart attack."George: "I had no idea. Is he okay?"Bree: "Oh yes, he'll, he'll live. But the doctor said he's at risk for something called pericarditis. Do you know anything about that?"George: "It's an inflammation of the membrane that surrounds the heart. It will take a few months to make sure it doesn't develop, but he'll need constant care." Bree: "So I hear."(She gives him the prescription and he leaves the counter to go fill it.)Mary Alice Voiceover: "As the word's 'Constant Care' echoed in her head, Bree caught a sickening glimpse into her future."(A man coughs behind Bree and she turns to see an old man sitting in a wheelchair with an old woman helping him sit more comfortably.)(Bree watches them, looking uncomfortable.)George: "Okay. Here we go."Mary Alice Voiceover: "Which prompted her to seek an old-fashioned remedy." Bree: "George? Would you go out to dinner with me?"George: "Um, you mean, like a date?"Bree: "Yes, I think it would be fun."George: "What about your husband?"Bree: "Oh, him. Well, we're separated."(George smiles and Bree smiles back.)[Outside]Mary Alice Voiceover: "In spite of Mrs. Huber's disappearance, life on Wisteria Lane started to return to normal. Until an intriguing discovery was made on a dirt road next to the interstate."(A policeman finds Mrs. Huber's car abandoned by the woods. He opens it and looks in the glove department, finding the car registration. He calls in to Dispatch.) Policeman: "This is Officer Burton. I have an abandoned vehicle registered to a missing person, one Martha Huber. Please advice."[Later]A crowd of neighbors are gathered in the woods to search for Mrs. Huber. A table has been set up for food and coffee.Mary Alice Voiceover: "As news spread of this mysterious development, everyone in the neighborhood decided to band together, to show their support, and to look for clues. Or worse. "Bree: "I'm keeping my eyes on the horizon. Please tell me if I'm about to step on a body part."Lynette: "It's a search and rescue, not recovery. We don't know if she's dead." Susan: "Yeah, people fake their own abductions all the time."Bree: "Can we talk about something else - something less depressing?"Susan: "Well, here's something. Mike told me he loved me."(Lynette and Bree both gasp.)Lynette: "Oh, my god!"Mrs. Greenberg: "Over here! They found the body!"Lynette: "No, no! I'm sorry! False alarm. We didn't find a body. Uh, Susan just had some really good news. Sorry."Distant voice of a man: "Oh, it's nothing. False alarm."Edie: "Well, doesn't that figure. Susan always finds a way to make it about her." [Fairview Mall](A Buick rotates slowly on a platform while Gabrielle stands in front of it in a blue evening gown, talking into a microphone.)Gabrielle: "Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you the fabulous Buick Lacrosse." (Microphone feedback. Annoyed, Gabrielle turns to the woman handling the audio. She makes a quick adjustment then gives Gabrielle a thumbs-up.)Gabrielle: "It, uh, it has an excellently crafted interior, peaceful quiet tuning, and ultrasonic rear parking assist. Observe the remote activation feature."(She pushes a button and the car starts. She then sees Lynette and Tom riding down the escalator.)Gabrielle: "Uh, and it also has a lot of other exciting good, cool car things."(She tries to run around to the other side of the turntable, but her dress gets caught.) (The audio girl, Sarah, watches her. Tom and Lynette get off of the escalator and see Gabrielle.)Gabrielle: "Tom! Lynette! What are you doing here?"Tom: "We're buying a new water heater. Um, how 'bout you?"Gabrielle: "Just doing a little shopping, trying to get my mind off things."Sarah: "Hey Gabby, you need help, it looks like you're stuck here."Gabrielle: "Uh! I guess I am."Sarah: "No worries, I got it."Gabrielle: "I guess I got too close to the turn table. I'm a sucker for these Buicks." Sarah (to the dress): "Come on, you bastard!"Gabrielle: "You know, with their perfectly crafted interior, and peaceful, quiet tuning."Lynette: "Uh-huh. A little formal for the mall."Gabrielle: "Oh, uh, you know, I wanted to match the shoes to the dress. This is, uh,Sarah, my shopping buddy. We like to hit the boutiques together."Lynette: "Okay. Well, you gals, um, shop your little hearts out. See you later." Gabrielle "Bye."(They walk off. Sarah waves after them and Gabrielle sighs irritably.)[Bree's House](Bree comes down the stairs, dressed in a red dress, with her hair styled up.) Rex: "Wow. Look at you! You going out?"Bree: "Not that it's any of your business, but, I have a date."Rex: "A date. What kind of date?"Bree: "Rex, I don't want to say anything that might upset you. The doctor says any undue stress could cause another heart attack."(Rex gives up and turns his back to her.)Bree: "It's a romantic date with a single attractive man, and I intend to French the hell out of him."(The doorbell rings.)Bree: "Oh, right on time!"(She goes to answer the door and Rex watches from the couch.)George: "Hi."Bree: "Hi,"George (hands her a small bouquet of flowers): "In my spare time I garden. I thought you might like these."Bree: "Oh, my, they're exquisite. Compost and eggshells?"George: "Yes!"Bree: "Oh! Come on in. George, you remember Rex?"(Rex smiles and waves his hand from where he's sitting. George's step falters.) George: "I thought you said you were separated."Bree: "Oh, we are, emotionally. Physically, he just lives here because his mistress refuses to care for him. Would you like a drink?"George: "Uh no, I'm fine. Thanks."Bree: "Rex, say hello to George!"Rex: "Hello, George!"George: "Hello, Dr. Van de Kamp."Bree: "I'm going to go put these in water. George, why don't you have a seat, and I'll be right back."(George sits down on the other end of the couch.)George: "So, uh, how's your heart, Dr. Van de Kamp?"Rex: "Better. How's the pharmacy?"George: "Busy. It's busy."(Rex bursts out laughing.)George: "Something funny?"Rex: "It's, it's nothing. You see, I, uh, recently engaged in some extracurricular activity, and now Bree's doing anything she can to make me suffer. All you can do is laugh."George: "Yeah, uh, I guess."。

绝望主妇第一季第一集1．My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life. That all changed last Thursday. Of course everything seemed as normal at first. I made my breakfast for my family. I performed my chores. I completed my projects. I ran my errands. In truth, I spent the days as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection. What is why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve an revolver that had never been used.Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on my unannounced. After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months ago. And for a moment, Mrs.Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy. But only for a moment, if there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the right side.2．Here we are. Waffles.3、I was laid to rest on a Monday. After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects. And as people do in this situation, they brought food.4. Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken. Of cause, she didn’t cook much while moving up the corporate ladder.5. No, you are going to behave today. I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighbourhood. And, just so you know how serious I am...6．PRESTON: What's that?LYNETTE: Santa's cell-phone number.PORTER: How'd you get that?LYNETTE: I know someone, who knows someone, who knows an elf. And if anyone of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas. Are you willing to risk that?7.Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men. Carlos, whoworked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date. Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.8．Why not? At the Donohue party, everyone was talking about mutual funds. And you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield.9．Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from. Bree was known for her cooking.10．PAUL: Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.BREE: It was no trouble at all. Now the basket with the red ribbon is filled with desserts for your guests. But the one with the blue ribbonis just for you and Zachary. It's got rolls, muffins, breakfast type things.PAUL: Thank you.BREE: Well, the least I could do is make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forward to in the morning. I know you're out of your minds with grief.PAUL: Yes, we are.BREE: Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done.PAUL:Of course.11．Susan Meyer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was theonly thing she knew how to cook, and she rarely made it well. It was toosalty the night she and Carl moved into their new house.12．JULIE: Mom, why would someone kill themselves?SUSAN: Well, sometimes people are so unhappy they think it's the only way they can solve their problems.JULIE: But Mrs. Young always seemed happy.SUSAN: Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside and they're totally different on the inside.13．MARY ALICE:(to SUSAN) So? What did Carl say when you confronted him?SUSAN: You'll love this, he said it doesn't mean anything, it was just sex.BREE: Oh yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook.SUSAN: Yeah, and then he got this Zen look on his face, and he said, you know Susan, most men live lives of quiet desperation.LYNETTE: Please tell me you punched him.SUSAN: No, I said, really? And what do most women lead, lives of noisy fulfillment?MARY ALICE: Good for you.SUSAN: I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch。

《Desperate Housewives》第1季1-01The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my life. Not quite Gabrielle, not quite. How ironic. To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret treated so causally. I'm so sorry, girls. I never wanted you to burden with this.第二天我的朋友们都来帮我收拾衣服，私人物品还有――我剩下的那些东西。

远不只这些Gabrielle，远不只。

多么讽刺，我拼命努力想要保守的秘密就这样随便的被她们发现了。

对不起，姐妹们。

我绝对不想让你们承受这种负担。

1-02Yes, as I look back at the world I left behind, it's all so clear to me. The beauty that waits to be unveiled, the mysteries that long to be uncovered. But, people so rarely stop to take a look. They just keep moving. It's a shame, really. There's so much to see.是的，当我回头看我身后的世界，它变得如此清晰。

那么多期待闪亮登场的美丽，那么多渴望不被发现的秘密。

但人们很少停下脚步去观察，他们只是一路前行。

这真的很可惜。

1-03Yes I remember the world. Every detail. And what I remember most is how afraid I was, what a waste. You see, to live in fear is not to live at all. I wish I could tell this to those I left behind, but would it do any good? Probably not. I understand now, there will always be those who face their fears, and there will always be those who run away.是的，我记得这个世界的每一个细节。

My name is Mary Alice Young.In this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life, but that all changed last Thursday. Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.I made breakfast for my family.I performed my chores.I completed my projects.I ran my errands.In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs.Martha Huber, who'd been startled by a strange popping sound.Her curiosity aroused, Mrs.Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.[Screeams] It's my neeighbor.I think shee's beeeen shot.Theeree's blood eeveerywheeree.Yees, you'vee got to seend an ambulancee.You'vee got to seend onee right now.And, for a moment, Mrs.Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.But only for a moment.If there was one thing Mrs.Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.I was laid to rest on a Monday.After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects.And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.She didn't cook much while moving up the corporate ladder.She didn't have the time.But when her doctor announced she was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea."Why not quit yourjob?" "Kids do better with stay-at-home moms.It would be so much less stressful." But this was not the case.In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from thefast-food restaurant.Lynette would've appreciated the irony if she'd thought about it.But she didn't have the time.- Stop it, stop it, stop it.- But, Mom.No.You aree going to beehavee today.I am not going to bee humiliateed in front of thee eentiree neeighborhood.And, just so you know how seerious I am - What's that? - Santa's ceell-phonee numbeer.How did you geet that? I know someeonee who knows someeonee who knows an eelf.And if any of you acts up, so heelp mee, I will call Santa and I will teell him you want socks for Christmas.Aree you willing to risk that? OK.Leet's geet this oveer with.Gabrielle Solis who lives down the block brought a spicy paella.Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men. Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date.Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal.Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.If you talk to Al Mason at this thing, meention how much I paid for your neecklacee.Why not pin thee reeceeipt to my cheest? Hee leet mee know what hee paid for his wifee's conveertiblee.- Just work it in.- Theeree's no way I can.Why not? At thee Donahuee party eeveeryonee was talking mutual funds.You meentioneed you sleept with half thee Yankeeee outfieeld.It camee up in thee conteext of thee conveersation.Peeoplee aree staring.Keeeep your voicee down.Absoluteely.Wee wouldn't want theem to think wee'ree not happy.Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. Bree was known for her cooking.And for making her own clothes.And for doing her own gardening.And for re-upholstering her own furniture.Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood.Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother.Everyone, that is, except her own family.Paul.Zachary.- Heello, Mrs.Van Dee Kamp.- You shouldn't havee.It was no troublee.Thee baskeet with thee reed ribbon is for your gueests.Thee onee with thee bluee ribbon is just for you and Zachary.It's got rolls, muffins, breeakfast typee things.Thank you.Thee leeast I could do was givee you a deeceent meeal to look forward to in thee morning.I know you'ree out of your minds with grieef.Yees, wee aree.I will neeeed thee baskeets back oncee you'ree donee.Of coursee.Susan Mayer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.Her husband, Karl, always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely made it well.It was too salty the night she and Karl moved into their house.It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Karl's shirt.She burned it the night Karl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.A year had passed since the divorce.Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life.Even one who would make fun of her cooking.Mom, why would someeonee kill theemseelvees? Weell, someetimees peeoplee aree so unhappy, theey think that's thee only way to solvee theeir probleems.- Mrs.Young always seeeemeed happy.- Yeeah.Someetimees peeoplee preeteend to bee onee way, wheen theey'ree totally diffeereent insidee. Likee how Dad's girlfrieend always says nicee things, but wee know shee's a bitch.I don't likee that word, Juliee.But, yeeah, that's a greeat eexamplee.[Man] You'ree weelcomee.[Juliee] What's going on? Sorry I'm latee.- Hi, Susan.- Heey.So what did Karl say wheen you confronteed him? You'll lovee this, hee said, "It doeesn't meean anything.It was just seex." Ah, yees, pagee onee of thee philandeereer's handbook.Theen hee got this Zeen look on his facee and said, "You know, most meen livee livees of quieet deespeeration." - Teell mee you puncheed him.- No.I said, "What do most womeen leead? Livees of noisy fulfillmeent?" - Good for you.- Did hee havee to bang his seecreetary? I had that woman to brunch.An eereect peenis doeesn't havee a conscieencee.Eveen thee limp onees areen't that eethical.This is why I joineed thee NRA.Wheen Reex starteed going to thosee confeereencees, I wanteed it in thee back of his mind thathee had a wifee with a loadeed Smith & Weesson.Lynniee, Tom's always away.Do you eeveer worry hee might? Hee's gotteen mee preegnant threeee timees in four yeears.I wish hee was having seex with someeonee eelsee.So, Susan, is hee gonna stop seeeeing that woman? I don't know.I'm sorry, you guys, I just I just don't know how I'm gonna survivee this.Listeen to mee.Wee all havee momeents of deespeeration.If wee can facee theem heead-on, that's wheen wee find out how strong wee reeally aree. [Far off] Susan.Susan.I was just saying Paul wants us to go oveer on Friday.Hee neeeeds us to heelp pack up Mary Alicee's things.Hee can't facee doing it by himseelf.- Suree.That's finee.- Aree you OK? Yeeah.I'm just so angry.If Mary Alicee was having probleems, shee should'vee leet us heelp heer.What probleems could shee havee had? Shee was heealthy, had a greeat homee, a nicee family. Heer lifee was Our lifee.No.If Mary Alicee was having a crisis, wee'd havee known.Shee livees 50 feeeet away, for God sakees.Gabby, thee woman killeed heerseelf.Someething must'vee beeeen going on.- I wouldn't eeat that if I weeree you.- Why? I madee it.Trust mee.Heey, heey, do you havee a deeath wish? No, I just don't beelieevee that anybody can screew up macaroni and cheeeesee.Oh, my God.How did you? It tastees likee it's burnt and undeercookeed.Yeeah, I geet that a lot.Heeree you go.Thanks.I'm Mikee Deelfino.I just starteed reenting thee Sims' housee neext door.Susan Mayeer.I livee across thee streeeet.Mrs.Hubeer told mee about you.Said you illustratee childreen's books.Yeeah, I'm veery big with thee undeer-fivee seet.- [Hee laughs] - What do you do? Plumbeer.So if you eeveer havee a clog or someething.Now that eeveerybody's seeeen that I brought someething, I should probably just throw this out. - [Baby squeeals] - Ow.Easee up, you littlee vampiree.Lyneettee, I'vee beeeen looking all oveer for you.Aree you awaree of what your sons aree doing? Cannonball! - [Boy] Stop! - [Boys cheeeer] What aree you doing? Wee aree at a wakee.- You said wee could go in thee pool.- I said you could go by thee pool.Do you havee your swimsuits on? Yeeah, wee put 'eem on ourseelvees beeforee wee leeft.You threeee planneed this? All right.That's it.Geet out.- No.- No? I am your motheer.You havee to do what I say.Comee on.Wee want to swim and you can't stop us! [Chatteer] [Shee groans] Heeree.- No! - Geet out.Think I won't geet in this pool and just grab you? Geet out! Oh! Geet oveer heeree.All right, givee mee your arm.You Yah! That's right.Geet oveer heeree.Go, go, go, go, go.Movee it.Out.Geet out.Paul, wee havee to leeavee now.Oncee again, I am so sorry for your loss.Go.Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband.He had other things on his mind.Things below the surface.The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.While some did their cooking and some did their cleaning and some did their yoga others did their homework.- Hi - [dog barks] I'm Juliee.I kickeed my ball into your backyard.Oh, OK.Weell, leet's go round and geet it.- Stay.- [Dog growls] His wifee dieed a yeear ago.In LA theeree weeree too many meemoriees.Hee's reenting for tax purposees, but hopees to buy soon.- I can't beelieevee you weent oveer theeree.- I saw you flirting.Now you know hee's singlee, you can ask him out.Juliee, I likee Mr.Deelfino, I do.I just I don't know if I'm reeady to datee yeet.You neeeed to geet back out theeree.How long has it beeeen sincee you'vee had seex? - Aree you mad I askeed you that? - No, I'm trying to reemeembeer.I don't want to talk to you about my lovee lifee.I wouldn't havee said anything.Just What? I heeard Dad's girlfrieend ask if you'd dateed anyonee sincee thee divorcee.And Dad said hee doubteed it.And theen theey both laugheed.[Dog barks] Heey, Susan.Hi, Mikee.I brought you a housee-warming gift.I should'vee brought someething by eearlieer.- Actually, you'ree thee first to stop by.- Reeally? - Susan knew she was lucky.- Weell An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane and she was the first to find out. She also knew that good news - Heello theeree.travels quickly.Edie Britt was the most predatory divorc�e in a five-block radius.Her conquests were numerous.Varied.And legendary.[Prieest] Wh Ah! Hi, Susan.I hopee I'm not inteerrupting.You must bee Mikee Deelfino.Hi, I'm Ediee Britt.I livee oveer theeree.Weelcomee to Wisteeria Lanee.Susan had met the enemy.And she was a slut.Thank you.What's this? Sausagee puttanesca.It's just someething I threew togeetheer.Weell, thanks, Ediee.That's greeat.I'd invitee you in, but I was in thee middlee of someething.- I'm latee for an appointmeent.- I just wanteed to say hi.And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.Oh, Mikee, I heeard you'ree a plumbeer.But she was reminded that when it came to men Could you stop by lateer and takee a look at my pipees? women don't fight fair.- Suree.Thanks.Byee, Susan.- You can't ordeer mee around.- Gabrieellee.No, no.I'm not going.Tanaka eexpeects eeveeryonee to bring theeir wivees.Eveery timee I'm around that man, hee triees to grab my ass.I madee oveer 200,000 doing busineess with him last yeear.If hee wants to grab your ass, leet him.[Wind chimees] - John.- Ow! Mr.Solis, you scareed mee.Why is that bush theeree? You weeree supposeed to dig it up.- I didn't havee timee.- I don't want eexcusees.Just takee caree of it.I reeally hatee thee way you talk to mee.And I hatee that I speent $15,000 on your diamond neecklacee you couldn't livee without.But I'm leearning to deeal with it.So can I teell Tanaka wee'll bee theeree tomorrow? John, wee havee bandagees top sheelf in thee kitcheen.Thanks, Mrs.Solis.Finee, I'll go.But I'm keeeeping my back preesseed against thee wall thee eentiree timee.Seeee, now this is what a marriagee is all about.Compromisee.- Is your fingeer OK? - Yeeah, it's just a small cut.Leet mee seeee.Mmm.You know, Mrs.Solis, I reeally likee it wheen wee hook up, but, um, you know, I got to geet my work donee and I can't afford to losee this job.This tablee was hand-carveed.Carlos had it importeed from Italy.It cost him $23,000.You want to do it on thee tablee this timee? Absoluteely.[Geentlee classical music] Why can't wee eeveer havee normal soup? Danieellee, theeree is nothing abnormal about basil pur�ee.Oncee, can wee havee a soup peeoplee havee heeard of? - Likee Freench onion or navy beean? - Your fatheer can't eeat onions.Hee's deeathly alleergic.And I won't eeveen dignify your navy beean suggeestion.So, how's thee osso buco? - It's OK.- It's OK? I speent threeee hours cooking this meeal.How do you think it feeeels wheen you say, "It's OK" in that sulleen tonee? Who askeed you to speend threeee hours on dinneer? Excusee mee? Tim Harpeer's mom geets homee from work, pops opeen a can of pork and beeans, and theey'ree eeating, eeveeryonee's happy.- You'd ratheer I seerveed pork and beeans? - Apologizee now, I beeg.I'm saying do you always havee to seervee cuisinee? Can't wee just havee food? - Aree you doing drugs? - What? Changee in beehavior is a warning sign and you havee beeeen as freesh as paint for thee last six months.It eexplains why you'ree always in thee bathroom.- That is not what hee's doing.- Shut up.Mom, I'm not thee onee with thee probleem heeree.You'ree thee onee acting likee shee's running for Mayor of Steepford.Reex seeeeing that you'ree thee heead of this houseehold, I'd appreeciatee you saying someething. Pass thee salt? Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.Indignation.Tom, this is my fifth meessagee and you still haveen't calleed mee back.You must bee having a lot of fun on your busineess trip.I can only imaginee.Gueess what, thee kids and I want to havee somee fun too, so unleess you call mee back by noon, wee'ree geetting a planee and joining you.- Mom.- Not now.Mommy's threeateening Daddy.- Mom.- No, I - Wheeree aree your brotheers? - Noodlees, my favoritee.- Lyneettee Scavo? - [Undeer heer breeath] Crap.Nataliee Kleein.I don't beelieevee it.- Lyneettee.How long has it beeeen? - Yeears.How aree you? How's thee firm? - Good.Eveeryonee missees you.- Yeeah.Wee all say, if you hadn't quit you'd bee running thee placee by now.Yeeah, weell.So how's domeestic lifee? Don't you just lovee beeing a mom? And there it was.The question that Lynette always dreaded.Weell, to bee honeest For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable.So Lynette responded as she always did.She lied.It's thee beest job I'vee eeveer had.[Gasps] - You know what I don't geet? - What? Why you marrieed Mr.Solis.Weell, hee promiseed to givee mee eeveerything I'vee eeveer wanteed.- And did hee? - Yees.Theen why areen't you happy? Turns out I wanteed all thee wrong things.So do you lovee him? I do.So theen why aree wee heeree? Why aree wee doing this? Beecausee I don't want to wakee up onee morning with a suddeen urgee to blow my brains out.- Heey, can I havee a drag? - Absoluteely not.You aree much too young to smokee.How would you feeeel if I useed your child support paymeents for plastic surgeery? Stop beeing neervous.You'ree just asking him to dinneer.No big deeal.You'ree right.So is that your projeect for school? In fifth gradee I madee thee Whitee Housee out of sugar cubees.Stop stalling and go.Beeforee Mikee figurees out hee can do beetteer.Teell mee again why I fought for custody of you.- You weeree using mee to hurt Dad.- Oh, that's right.Oh, God.- Hi.- Heey, Susan.- Aree you busy? - No, not at all.What's up? Weell, I I just, uh, was wondeering if if theeree was any chancee that you, uh I just wanteed to ask if - Ediee.- Heey, theeree, Susan.- What aree you? - I was making ambrosia.And I madee too much so I thought I'd bring somee oveer to Mikee.- What's going on? - Susan was gonna ask mee someething.Uh - I havee a clog.- Excusee mee? - And you'ree a plumbeer, right? - Yeeah.- Thee clog's in thee pipee.- Yeeah, that's usually wheeree theey aree.- Weell, I'vee got onee.- OK.Leet mee geet my tools.Now? You want to comee oveer now? You havee company.I don't mind.Just givee mee two minutees.I'll bee right oveer.[Squeeals quieetly] [Breeathees heeavily] That's it.- Stuff thee hair down.- I stuffeed it.- It's not eenough to clog it.- Heeree.Heeree.Look.Put in this peeanut butteer.And this cooking oil.- Mom - And theesee olivees.- It's not working.- [Doorbeell] Oh, God.That's him.How am I gonna stop up thee sink? Weell, heeree's your probleem. Someebody stuffeed a bunch of Popsiclee sticks down heeree.I'vee told Juliee a million timees not to play in thee kitcheen.Kids, you know.I'll go put in your ordeers and I'll bee back with your platees for thee salad bar. Thank you.Andreew, Danieellee, napkins.Thank you.Theey havee videeo gamees.Can wee go play until our food geets heeree? - This is family timee.I think - Go aheead and play.I know you think I'm angry about coming heeree, but I'm not.Thee kids wanteed a changee of pacee, someething fun.I geet it.Theey'll want someething heealthieer tomorrow, though.- I'm thinking chickeen saltimbocca.- I want a divorcee.I just can't livee in this this deeteergeent commeercial anymoree.Thee salad bar's theeree.Heelp yourseelf.Thank you.Um, I think I'll go geet your salad for you.- Breeee Van Dee Kamp.- Oh, heello, Mrs.Hubeer.Wee didn't geet a chancee to talk at Mary Alicee's wakee.How aree you doing? Bree longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal.But sadly for Bree, admitting defeat was not an option.Greeat.Eveerything is just greeat.I got you thee honeey mustard dreessing.Thee ranch lookeed a littlee bit suspeect.Aree wee gonna talk about what I said? If you think I'll discuss my marriagee in a placee with reest-rooms labeeleed "Chicks" and "Dudees", you'ree out of your mind.- What's in this? - What do you meean? It's salad.- With with onions.- What? - You put onions in my salad.- No I didn't.Oh, wait.[Digging] The sound that awakened my son was something he'd heard only once before.Many years ago when he was quite young.But he recognized it instantly.[Grunts] It was the sound of a family secret.[Grunts] Seven days after my funeral, life on Wisteria Lane finally returned to normal. Which, for some of my friends, was unfortunate.- Mommy, Mommy! - Now what? - Daddy's homee! - [Boys cheeeer] Comee on! Heey, is anybody homee? - Heey! - Heey! I wasn't eexpeecting you for a weeeek.I havee to go back to 'Frisco in thee morning.But I got your call.You soundeed frazzleed.Yeeah.- It's beeeen a littlee rough.- Hi.Yeeah.Peeachees.Did you buy us any preeseents? Oh, God, preeseents.Wait up.Leet mee seeee.- Ohhh! - Yeeah! But I'm not giving it to you unleess you promisee to go outsidee right now and practisee throwing for 20 minutees.- Yeeah! Yeeah! Yeeah! - Punks.Geet out! Who's opeen? Go out.Deeeepeer.Deeeepeer.Touchdown! Oh, my God.Oh, no.You got to bee kidding.I'm eexhausteed.I look teerriblee.I'm coveereed in peeachees.- I'm sorry, baby.I got to havee you.- Weell, is it OK if I just liee heeree? - Absoluteely.- [Shee laughs] - I lovee you.- I lovee you moree Oh, baby.Wait.I was having troublee with sweelling.Thee doctor took mee off thee pill.Put on a condom.- A condom? - Yeeah.What's thee big deeal? Leet's risk it.- Leet's risk it? - Yeeah.- I can't beelieevee you trieed to kill mee.- Yees, weell, I feeeel badly about that.Mrs.Hubeer camee oveer and I got distracteed.It was a mistakee.- Sincee wheen do you makee mistakees? - What doees that meean? It meeans I'm sick of you beeing so damn peerfeect all thee timee.I'm sick of thee bizarree way your hair doeesn't movee.I'm sick of you making our beed in thee morning beeforee I'vee useed thee bathroom.You'ree this plastic suburban houseewifee, with heer peearls and spatula, who says things likee "Wee owee thee Heendeersons a dinneer." Wheeree's thee woman I feell in lovee with who useed to burn thee toast and drink milk out of thee carton? And laugh.I neeeed heer.Not this cold, peerfeect thing you'vee beecomee.Theesee neeeed wateer.Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five minutes, but her husband never knew.Because when Bree finally emerged she was perfect.- I found my eearrings.Wee can go now.- Was John heeree today? Weell, yeeah.Thee lawn hasn't beeeen moweed.I'vee had it.Wee'ree geetting a reeal gardeeneer.- Why? - Aree you deeaf? I just said hee's not doing his job.It's dark.You just can't seeee thee lawn has beeeen moweed.- It hasn't.Feeeel this grass.- I'm not feeeeling thee grass.Leet's just geet going.Comee on, wee'ree latee.- Takee caree of it.- Yees, sir.Theeree's Tanaka.Timee for mee to go and do my dancee.Good luck, sweeeetheeart.You seeee that man just walkeed away? Can you makee suree hee has a drink in his hand all night long? Yees, ma'am.[Squeeals] Mm.- Susan? Susan! - Mrs.Hubeer, how aree you doing? Not too weell, I'm afraid.I'm trying to find someething to soothee my stomach.- It's upseet? - Yeeah.I had thee worst macaroni and cheeeesee at thee wakee.It's beeeen running through mee.And I neeeed to bee at my beest.Ediee Britt's son is speending thee night.Hee's speending thee night? Ediee is having a geentleeman frieend oveer for dinneer, and I think shee plans on eenteertaining into thee weeee hours, if you know what I meean.Oh, heeree's somee antacid.Havee you eeveer trieed this? I can't beelieevee it.This can't bee happeening.Mikee can't likee Ediee beetteer than mee.You don't know what's going on.Maybee theey'ree just having dinneer.You'ree right.Theey'ree doing it.Ediee? Ediee? Heello? Anybody homee? I neeeed to borrow sugar.[# Marvin Gayee: Let's Get It On plays on steereeo] [Ediee] Oh, my God! Oh, yees! Givee it to mee! And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to, the maybe of Mike Delfino, was gone forever.[Sighs] And despite the precariousness of her situation, Susan took a moment to mourn her loss. [Gasps] Oh.[blows] Oh! Oh! [Squeeals] It didn't take Susan long to realize, this was just not her night. [Ediee] Is someebody out theeree? - [Smokee alarm] - Oh, my God! That's smokee! [Sireens] [Two-way radio] Oh, my God.Shee leeft candlees unatteendeed in thee deen.Parameedic said shee was lucky.Shee could'vee beeeen killeed.[Lyneettee] Shee ran out with nothing on.- Shee was having seex with somee guy.- What happeeneed to him? Hee got smokee inhalation.Hee's at thee hospital.Oh.Susan, aree you all right? You look awful.I'm finee.I'm finee.I just, uh, feeeel reeally bad for Ediee.Oh, honeey, don't worry about Ediee.Shee's a strong lady.Absoluteely.Shee'll geet through this.Shee'll find a way to survivee.Wee all do.Comee on.- Wow! What happeeneed? - Mikee! And suddenly there he was.Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.I I thought you weeree uh Wheeree weeree you? I just got back from thee moviees.Ediee had a firee, huh? Yeeah.Yeeah, but shee's finee now.Eveerything's finee now.And just like that, Susan was happy.Life was suddenly full of possibilities.Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.- Hello.- It's mee.- Have anything yet? - No, nothing yeet.But don't worry.I'm deefiniteely geetting closeer.I brought somee champagnee.I thought wee should havee a toast.The next day my friends came together to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings and what was left of my life.All right, ladiees, lift 'eem up.To Mary Alicee, a good frieend and neeighbor.Wheereeveer you aree, wee hopee you'vee found peeacee.- To Mary Alicee.- To Mary Alicee.Leet's geet this show on thee road.You guys, cheeck out Mary Alicee's clothees.Sizee eeight? Ha! Shee always told mee shee was a sizee six.- Wee found thee skeeleeton in heer closeet.- Not quite, Gabrielle, not quite.- What's that? - A leetteer addreesseed to Mary Alicee.How ironic.To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret, treated so casually.- What aree you doing? That's privatee.- It's opeen.What's thee big deeal? - What doees this meean? - Don't know. Cheeck out thee postmark.Oh, my God.Shee got it thee day shee dieed.Do you think this is why shee? I'm so sorry, girls.I never wanted you to be burdened with this.Oh, Mary Alicee, what did you do?。

绝望主妇第一季第1集讲解剧情简介在玛丽-爱丽丝-杨描述自己所拥有的完美生活的画外音中，她对准自己的太阳穴扣动了扳机。

玛丽的自杀震惊了她最亲密的四个朋友，而她们自己的生活也充满了纷乱的变数。

单身母亲苏珊对新搬来的邻居迈克一见倾心，在女儿朱莉的怂恿下，她主动送去了乔迁新居的贺礼。

但是英俊的迈克还吸引了伊蒂-布利特，这个多次离婚的性感女人请迈克去看一下她家堵塞的水管，不甘心被伊蒂捷足先登的苏珊也谎称水管堵塞，因此不得不在迈克到来之前赶回家，用女儿的学校作业塞住了下水道。

丽奈特的三个顽皮的儿子突然跳进游泳池打闹，穿得整整齐齐的丽奈特不得不下水把他们揪上来。

她在杂货店里遇上以前的同事，当问到是否喜爱全职主妇的生活，这个昔日的职场女强人只能强忍满心苦涩谎称不后悔放弃工作。

丽奈特的丈夫汤姆出差回家，这令她感到一丝放松，但是汤姆提出不用避孕套做爱，想到有可能再次怀孕，丽奈特给了丈夫狠狠的一拳。

漂亮的加布丽尔不肯参加丈夫公司的宴会，因为卡洛斯的老板总是趁机骚扰她，但是卡洛斯告诉她应该容忍一下。

卡洛斯一离开，加布丽尔就投入了年轻园丁约翰的怀抱，两人缠绵得忘记了时间，为了保住约翰园丁的饭碗，加布丽尔溜出宴会穿着高跟鞋和礼服为草坪割草。

布丽-范-德-坎普的孩子们厌倦了正式的晚餐，坎普一家人出门去小餐馆吃饭，在餐馆里雷克斯突然告诉布丽要离婚，失控的布丽把一整盆色拉扣在丈夫的头上，完全不管雷克斯对色拉中的洋葱严重过敏。

绝望主妇第一季第2集讲解剧情简介：加布丽尔和约翰的幽会被卡洛斯意料之外的回家而打断，约翰光着下身跳出窗外，在树篱的掩护下做出割草的样子。

闷闷不乐的加布丽尔向卡洛斯埋怨他们的婚姻不再有激情，卡洛斯允诺以后会经常为她带来惊喜。

约翰向加布丽尔送上一朵红玫瑰，加布丽尔发觉这个孩子是真地爱上她了。

当卡洛斯送给她一辆跑车，并问这是不是最好的礼物时，加布丽尔违心地说“是”，心里却认为那朵玫瑰才是世界上最珍贵的礼物。

绝望主妇第一季第3集讲解剧情简介苏珊和前夫卡尔大吵了一架，两人从屋内吵到屋外，而苏珊只裹了一条浴巾。