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初中英语幽默小故事

初中英语幽默小故事
初中英语幽默小故事

初中英语幽默小故事:

奖赏

A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change

for a reward."

The Bad Check

One day a middle-aged woman telephoned her doctor.

“Doctor,”

she said, “I'm having a lot of trouble with my shoulder. It h urts all the time and I can't sleep at night.”

said the doctor, “and I'll have a look at it.”

“Come in this afternoon.”

That afternoon the woman went to the doctor's office. He gave her a very thorough examination, asked a lot

of questions, and listened carefully to her answers.

he said, “It looks like you have arthritis.”

“Well, my dear,”

“Arthritis?”she said.“Oh, no! What am I going to do?”

he answered, “I'll give you a prescription and the pain will go away.”Then the doctor took out “Don't worry,”

his pen, wrote a prescription, and handed her his bill for fifty dollars. The woman opened her pocketbook, wrote

out a fifty-dollar check, said goodbye, and left.

The doctor mailed the check to his bank, but a week later he was surprised to find that the check was

He telephoned the woman immediately.

returned to him, marked “Insufficient Funds”.

he began, “but your check came back this week.”

“I'm very sorry to have to tell you this.”

That's quite a coincidence.”

“Oh, really?”said the woman,“

“What do you mean?”asked the doctor.

“Well,”said the woman,“so did my arthritis.”

You're Right

Once Mr Henry went to a small town with high mountains all around it. It was a quiet and cool place and some

rich people liked to go there for their holidays. A week later, before Mr Henry left the town, he paid thirty pounds

for a parrot. When he came back, he began to teach the bird to speak. He tried his best, but it learned only one

isappointed and said to the bird angrily,“How foolish you are!” 

sentence,“You're right.”He was d

“You're right,”said the parrot.

The next day Mr Henry took the bird to the market and wanted to sell it for eighty pounds. Before long a fat

man came and looked at the parrot carefully. Then he asked,“How much is it, sir?”

Mr Henry didn't hurry to answer and said,“It's a clever bird, you know. It can speak and sing.”Then he said to the bird,“Are you really worth eighty pounds, my dear?

“You're right,”said the parrot.

The fat man liked it at once and bought it. When he took it home he asked it a lot of questions, but it could

only say,“You are right.”

pounds on such a foolish bird?

He felt very sorry for it and said to himself angrily,“Why did I spend eighty

What a fool I am!

“You're right, answered the parrot.

Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing and set it free.

伊索寓言——牧童和狼

A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying

out"wolf !wolf!"Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all

the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out

in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf

devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the

truth.

英语幽默小故事

英语幽默小故事

1、New Discovery A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!" 新发现 一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼,看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上,有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿,门开了,电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。 乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛,慢吞吞地说:“我应该把我的老婆带来!” hillbilly n. 乡下人,乡巴佬. pudgy adj.矮胖的,矮而粗的 drawl vt, vi慢吞吞地说;拉长语调地说 2、Always Thirsty "I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!" 总感到口渴 一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。” “真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”

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初中英语故事演讲稿3篇 初中英语故事演讲稿篇1 BUYING A HAT A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on! To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: I dont want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats! 初中英语故事演讲稿篇2 But the teacher cried The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmothers loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

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英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下: Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

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初中关于英语故事主题演讲稿 同学们,你们知道有哪些英语故事吗?小编为你分享了初中关于英语故事主题演讲稿,希望能够帮到你。 初中关于英语故事主题演讲稿篇1 Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you. My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten "monthly" stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word "love". From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching. This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book? My favorite book is . Have you read it before? Oh, I haven t read this book before. What is it about? Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy

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关于英语幽默小故事欣赏 中间战术Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“处”。 很高兴认识你Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

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最新简单幽默英语小故事及翻译资料

1 I Don’t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don’t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?” “不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten?” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。

“10块?”妈妈问。 “是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It’s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I’m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数

幽默英语小故事(中英文对照)

A Soldier's Brilliant Idea Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 英语幽默:士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招 由于生意方面的事,罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急,他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时,他喜欢靠窗坐,故而一登机,他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是,这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些,他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。 然而,等到了那儿,他看见座位上有则启事,是用钢笔写的:“为保持装载平衡,特预设该位置,谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过,他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品,于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。 又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上,他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时,一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法,成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

英语幽默小故事10篇

英语幽默小故事10篇

英语幽默小故事10篇 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减 价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

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三分钟初中英语演讲小故事 My favourite super star is JJ , he has a lovely dimple and his eyes are also very lovely . Now let me tell you the story about JJ . He enterde the music indestry at the year 2021 , before that year ,he was only a boy who wrote songs for many super stars ,his songs were liked by many people but no one care who was the writer . He was noly hard to write songs because he like music ,he thought music has it soal , if you sing it by heart , it well be lived . I like a song of him , it's name is CRIES IN A DISTANCE , the song tells us ,nothing is sad if we belive the hope . He has many difficulty , but his song says , cries in a distance , can't stop the tremble , I'm just waiting my turn , hiding will never , save me forever , the guns gonne get me for sure . Dear god I pray why won't you be my friend , come to me and take my hand ,like mama would say everything will be ok. Now he is not rather a shy singer and performer , the lyrical songs make him mature ,and now he is a man or not a boy . He is a real super star with many fans ,the improve mark a big step forward confident . Good morning, my dear teachers and friends! My name is Li Bingke, from class four O five. Today, I am very happy to be here. My topic is “Our School”. My dear friends, welcome to our school! My school is very beautiful! It has a big playground. We can play and do some sports there. Near the playground, there is a garden. Many trees and flowers are there. So the air is very clean and we can hear birds singing in the trees. It is so wonderful. Our teaching buildings are around the garden and look like our teachers’ arms to welcome us. We can draw pictures in the art room on the first floor and read story-books in the library on the second floor. My classroom is on the third floor. It is clean and bright. We like to study in it. The computer room is on the fifth floor. We can sing and dance in the music room on the sixth floor. What a lot of fun! We can have lunch in the canteen near Defang Teaching Building.

初中的英语故事演讲稿

初中的英语故事演讲稿 【初中英语故事演讲稿】 ABet Twopalsaresittinginapubwatchingtheeleven- ’,’I’llbetyoutenbuckstheguydoesn’tjump、’ ’It’sabet,’agreeshisbuddy、 Afewminuteslater,themanontheledgejumps,sotheloserhand shispala$10bill、’Ican’ttakeyourmoney,’hisfriendadmits 、’Isawhimjum pearlieronthesix-o’clocknews、’’me,too,’saystheotherbuddy、’ButIdidn’tthinkhe’d doitagain、 【初中英语故事演讲稿】 BUyINGAHAT ,ngehermindagainsohetriedtoflatterher:” Anexcellentchoice,!”Tohisdismay,theladytookoffherhat atonceandsaid:”Idon’!” 【初中英语故事演讲稿】 ,love,, maybeI’,p arentalcare, I’mgoingtofeel,,I’mnotalone,

Recently,afriendgavemethatxx,youwhathappens,Idonotbel ievethat,iftrue,Iwillfighttosurvive,,Iamnotafraid,because thereislove、 Letusbegintofeellove、 【初中英语故事演讲稿】 Ama,sohewentuptothewomanandsaid,“Letgiveyouahandwith thatbox,Itlooksveryheavy、” “Thatisverykindofyou,”thewomansaid、 “I’’sstruck、”“Togetherwe’llsoonmoveit、”Themansai d,,“Andhebegantopushhard、” “Let’srestforaminutes,”themansaid,”I’msorry,buti tisstruck、”Afewminuteslater,themansaid,“let’?”Bothof themtookholdoftheboxagain、 “one,two,three!”themansaid,andtheywentonwiththeirstrugg le、 Atlast,whentheywereverytired,themansaid,“you’rerigh t,Itisreallystruck,Idon’tthinkthere’sanywaywecangetitou tofthecar、” ,Thewomancried、“I’mtryingtogetitin!” 【初中英语故事演讲稿】 ,themottostaughtbyhisparents,aswellasthewonderfulten ”monthly”“love”、

简单幽默英语小故事及翻译

1 I Don?t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?” “不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten?” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。

“10块?”妈妈问。 “是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It?s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I?m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数

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