经典十集之1--看老友记学英语 第二季 7集-Ross发现了

I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth.And since it's Rachel's birthday......I thought I'd poach a salmon.What?Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things? You want to be on the food committee?Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees?Why can't we just get pizza and beer and have fun?I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside.And I'm not sure we are.You don't want it to be special?Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.Joey, they're not real!I start miles beneath the surface of these things. They're fake.See? Honk, honk!Wow, it's like porno for clowns!Wow, it's like porno for clowns!Wow, it's like porno for clowns!Neither of Rachel's sisters can come.I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper.No Shannon Cooper.Why not her?Because she....She steals stuff.Or maybe she doesn't and Joey slept with her and never called her back. Joey, that is horrible.Hey, I liked her.Maybe too much.I don't know.I guess I just got scared.I'm sorry. I didn't know.I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay!Hi, honey. How did it go?It was the graduation from hell.My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.It's supposed to be a joyous occasion.Nobody thought my sister would graduate from college.It's a testament to what a girl from Long lsland will do for a Celica. What happened?My parents happened.All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile......and not talk about the divorce. But no!They got into a fight during the commencement address.Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them.You know the good news?I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours.I guess we don't invite her parents.-How about just her mom? -Why her mom?Because I already invited her.Did you ask Stacy Roth?Can't invite her.She also steals.Here are the candles. Where's the birthday cake?We're not having birthday cake.We're having birthday flan.Excuse me?It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.That's nice.Happy birthday, Rachel. Here's some goo!Dr. Greene!Oh, my God! It's Rachel's dad.Why are you here?The father can't see the daughter on her birthday?No, no, the father can.But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here.And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye.You're having a party.No, no, not a party.Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows.-This is Phoebe, Chandler and Joey. -I'll never remember all that. So what's the deal?Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it? This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?Hi, Monica.The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.So basically, just a Chinese guy.Dr. Greene, come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed. All right. That sounds like a two-person job.Well, my goodness! What was that?Sandra, I thought you were Rachel. We weren't ready for you yet. -You thought I was Rachel? -Yes, because you look so young.And because you're both, you know, white women.Oh, I missed you kids. Should I put my coat in the bedroom?-No, I'll take that for you. -Oh, well, thank you.Such a gentleman. Thank you.It all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons.Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here.-I was driving -That's great!I can't wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom. Hey, come with me.-What? -lt will be like we're gal pals.You know, like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on.Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!Think. Think.What would Jack and Chrissy do?Okay, now that your coat is safely in the bedWe can come back out in the living room.Joey and Chandler, it's time you take Dr. Greene over to your place. Yes, absolutely.Why, again?Because that's where the party is, you goon!-See, this is just the staging area. -Right, it's the staging area.This is clearly in the wrong apartment.All right, you guys are off to party number one.And you....You are off to party number two.All right, let's keep it moving, let's keep it moving. At least send some women to my party.Okay, that's Ross. All right.Okay, they're coming.Thank you for such a wonderful dinner.Thanks for being born.Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They're perfect.I love you.Now, you can exchange them if you want, okay? Now I love you even more.Surprise!Oh, my gosh!Wow!Oh, my God. Mom!This is so great!Happy birthday, sweetie.You! I had no idea!-Really? -No, I knew.All right.There's food and drinks on the table.Go across the hall. Right now, Joey and Chandler's. -Why? -Just go.Weird.Surprise!Happy birthday, sweet pea.Daddy!Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here?Well, we could count again?I can't believe this!You know, this is ridiculous.This is your birthday, your party.Let's put them together. If they can't deal with it, who cares?-I do. -That's who.Are you gonna be okay?I don't really have a choice. I can look at the bright side.I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.Well, actually......just one birthday flan.It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.Talk to Monica. She's on the food committee.Some girl just walked up to me and said, "I want you, Dennis"......and stuck her tongue down my throat.I love this party!-Quick volleyball question. -Volleyball.We set up a court in your room.You didn't like that gray lamp, did you?A woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I'm not even listening to you. -Dennis! -Okay, that's me.Can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna talk to Mom for a while.Do you have any ideas for any openers?Stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter"......and you should be okay.I want you to take a piece of paperHere you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory. When you're not using the markers, put the caps back on them... ... because they will dry out.Hi, Dr. Greene.So how's everything in the......vascular surgery......game?It's not a game, Ross. A woman died on my table today.I'm sorry.That's the good thing about my job.All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.Listen, I don't mean to be a pain about this...... but I've noticed some of you are just placing them on.You want to push the caps...... until you hear them click.Gunther!Where you going?I was sort of thinking about maybeNo! No, you can't go! No, this is fun.We're just starting. Here's your marker.If you want to go, just go.She'll yell at me again.All right, I can get you out.What?In a minute, I'll create a diversion.When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.-I think I need a drink. -I'll get it for you.-What do you want? -Scotch.I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. Neat!Cool.Neat, as in no rocks.I know.Hello, Ross! Where have you been?I have been in the bathroom.Stay clear of the salmon mousse.Scotch neat.That's Rachel's father's drink.Mine too. Isn't that neat?Scotch neat.Would you excuse me?Where are you sneaking off to, mister?I'm getting my cigarettes.No.What do you mean "no"?See, because that's the staging area.You go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party.Take your scotch back in there......and I will get your cigarettes for you, sir.-Get my glasses too. -All righty-roo.What a great moment to say that for the first time.Okay, the first person's most embarrassing memory is... ... "Monica, your party sucks."Very funny.Oh, no! Did someone forget to use a coaster?What?I don't see anything.Great, I'm seeing water rings again.Ross, whose glasses are those?Mine.You wear bifocals?I have a condition apparently......that I require......two different sets of focals.Do you know my husband has glasses just like that?Well, those are very popular frames.Neil Sedaka wears them.I hear you can get people out of here.You didn't tell me your boyfriend smokes.Yeah, like a chimney.Big smoker.Big, big smoker.In fact, I'm gonna go into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. Are you wearing my glasses?Yes.I was just warming up the earpieces for you.Thank you.Is that one of my cigarettes?Yes, it is. I was just moistening the tip.She's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. But it has to be now. She'll be back any minute.What about my friend?Only the three of you. Any more and she'll get suspicious. -Let me just get my coat. -There isn't time!Just leave everything.They'll take care of you next door.Is it true they have beer?Everything you've heard is true.Could you guys please keep it down?We're trying to start a Boggle tournament.You!And you.You're supposed to be at my party.And Gunther!What are you doing here?Welcome to the foAll right, I'm sorry. But these people needed me.They work hard all week. It's Saturday night.They deserve to have a little fun. Go!You know, my party is fun.It's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun.But if people would just give it a chance, it's-You want me to see a therapist? -Sweetheart, you have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.Okay, Mom, I'll make an appointment.But right now, I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing.Did you know your mother spent $1200 on bonsai trees?I felt like Gulliver.Daddy, I really want to hear more about this......but I just have to do some stuff.You work and you work and you work at a marriage...... but all he cares about is his stupid boat.You work and you work and you work on a boat.He always ridiculed my pottery classes.And you sand it and varnish it.But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County....-The scotch, the cigarettes.... - The bonsais and the Chihuahua....I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now butWhat the hell does she want with half a boat?Okay, okay, you can be shirts and I'll be skins.I'll be skins!How you holding up there, tiger?Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of "tigers."I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports."I even got a "governor."This is it, isn't it? This is what my life will be like.My mom there, my dad there.Thanksgiving, Christmas.She gets the house, he's in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker. How did you get through this?I relied on a carefully regimented program......of denial......and wetting the bed.You know, I just It's so weird.I mean, I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other.All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July.Because it reminded you of the way......our forefathers used to bitch at each other?It's just this thing. Every year we would......go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks.Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big.My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side......and Dad would be upset because nobody helped.And when we did help, he'd scream at us for doing it wrong.But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up.You know, and it'd get really cold.And we'd all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket.It never occurred to anybody to bring another one.And now it's....Yeah, I know.Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun.All right, I'm hitting the road.Now, I've left my 10 verbs on the table.Be sure and send me that finished poem.Okay, will do. Glad you came.-I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. -Let me go check. Your mom wants to say goodbye.Happy birthday, sweetie.You drive safe.What are you doing?I'm getting ready for the water skiing.Okay, big hug. One more. Come on!How are you?-Where are you going? -To get my coat.We'll get that for you.All right, all right. I can get my own coat.Sorry, we're on a major flan high.Oh, no. No, you're not supposed to be here.This is the staging area. It's all wrong. You should leave. You know, just get out.Or perhaps you'd like a creme de menthe.I have to be heading toward my chateau.I guess we're going back into the hallway again. Thanks for coming, Mrs. Greene.You take care.Oh, you kids.Well.This is the best party I've been to in years.Thank you!Okay, everybody, it's time for flan!Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun.Looks like that stuff you get when you get an infection. Okay, that's enough.Okay, Rachel, make a special flan wish.Okay, I've got one.Heads up!。

- Hey. - Hi. - 嘿... - 嘿!Phoebe, what's wrong? 菲比，出了什么事吗？I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring.戴着这个超大订婚戒指快要把我累死了！- Oh, my God. - Congratulations. -噢！天啊！ -恭喜你啊！哇！So did he get on one knee? Did he have a speech prepared?他有没有跪下来？他有准备求婚词吗？Oh, did he cry? 噢！他有哭吗？Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals. 没错，我喜欢求婚，很奇怪吗？Well, it was really sweet, and, like, the most romantic thing ever.实在是很温馨，是我人生中最浪漫的一刻。

Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world. 嘿，我们来敬菲比为了她找到世界上最好的男人干一杯。

To Phoebe and.. 敬菲比和...I want to say "Mike"? 应该是麦克吧？- To Phoebe and Mike. - Hey. -敬菲比和麦克！ -喔！Thank you. Oh, and I have something for you. 谢谢大家！噢，我有点东西要给你！It's my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated. 这是我的小记事本里面有我约会过的男生的电话Oh, Phoebe, that's nice, but you know what? I think I'm okay.噢，菲比。

What's going on? 怎么了？My eye is a little itchy. 我的眼睛有点痒Mine too. Yeah. 我的也是It's really red. You should go see my eye doctor. 你的眼睛好红喔你应该去看我的眼科医生I'm not gonna see your ex-boyfriend. 理查？我才不要找你的前男友看眼睛That's all I hear. Richard, Richard, Richard. 理查…一天到晚理查个没完Since we've dated, I've said his name twice. 打从我们开始约会以后我想我只提过两次他的名字Okay. So Richard, Richard. 那好，理查、理查It's not Richard. It's this new guy. He's good. 不是理查啦我新找的眼科医生很棒I'm sorry. I'm not going to an eye doctor. 抱歉，我不去看眼科医生-Oh, God. Here we go. -What? 天啊，老毛病又犯了什么？Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's... 每次只要碰到眼睛这档事她马上就......she, like, freaks out. Watch. ...避之唯恐不及注意看Ross, come on! 罗斯，你别闹了I have a weird thing with my eye. Can we not talk about it? 好，我对我的眼睛有怪癖麻烦别再讨论了，行吗？好吧… 好，我对我的眼睛有怪癖麻烦别再讨论了，行吗？Hey,Rach. You know that great song? "Me, Myself and Eye." 瑞秋，还记得有首很棒的歌我、我自己和… （“我”和“眼睛”同音）Monica! Come on! 摩妮卡，别闹啦All those in favor of getting lunch, say, "eye." 有没有人想吃午餐？有意愿的请说…Ross! Stop it! 罗斯，拜托别闹了啦How much did I love The King and Eye? 我有多喜欢“国王与我”？Chandler! 钱德！Me too, me too! 我也是…Just stop it! That's enough! 够了，别玩了…-You okay there, man? -Yeah. I got too excited. 你还好吧？对，我真的戳到了The One with Joey's Big Break 本集播出：“眼病难医”29 先走了，我要带班去公园-Give him a kiss for me. -All right. Bye. 帮我亲一下他好，再见Later. 再见…I'm so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. 很抱歉让你们夹在中间尴尬I didn't mean to be so out there, but I am furious with him. 我也不是故意这么夸张但我真的很生他的气Calm down? 别激动I'm trying. Man, that guy can push my buttons! 我在克制但一想到那个人我就有气Why are you so mad? 你干嘛那么气他？-I don't wanna talk about it. -lt seems like 我不想谈，好吗？只是…You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking. 你想榜上有名就继续说啊Has anyone seen my list, by the way? 对了，谁有看到我的黑名单？No. What's it look like? 没看到，长什么样子？-A piece of paper and it says, "Ross." -I see. 就是张纸，上头写了“罗斯” 了解I just got off the phone with Estelle. Guess what? 我刚和艾斯黛讲完电话你们猜怎么了？I got the lead in a movie!!! 我要当电影主角了！You got the lead in a movie? What's it about? 你要演电影主角，太厉害了是什么电影？It's called Shutterspeed. It's really cool. 片名是“极限速度”，超酷的I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in, like, a day. 我在地铁遇见一个女孩一天之内坠入情网And then she disappears. But I find out where she lives. 后来她消失无踪但我找出了她住在哪里This old lady answers the door. I say,"Where's Betsy?" 一个老太太出来开门我问她“贝丝在哪里？”And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years." 她说“贝丝已经过世十年了”Chilling! 好寒The best part is,we're filming in the desert outside of Vegas. 最棒的部分是拍片地点在赌城外的沙漠-You know what that means. -I know. 兄弟，你知道那是啥意思对，我知道Road trip! We can rent a car. I have to be there by Tuesday. 开车杀过去，我们可以租车我周二以前到那里就行了Wait! My grandmother's dead. 等等，我祖母过世了We can talk about that too,Phoebe. 菲比，我们也可以聊聊那件事No, her cab. 不…我是说她的计程车She probably won't be using it. Drive it to Las Vegas. 她八成用不到了你们可以开去赌城All right! Thanks! 好耶，菲比，谢了What are we gonna do about my job? 等等… 那我的工作怎么办？Not go. 别去了Great! Road trip,baby! 好耶！棒！上路罗！Is this okay? 你没意见吧？Chandler, you don't have to ask for my permission. 钱德，你不用徵求我的允许…You can go. 我让你去谢谢Rach, we'll be late for the eye doctor. 瑞秋，快点，我们看医生要迟到了All right. Let's get this over with. 好啦，早去早解脱Look what I did. 糟糕，我真是笨手笨脚的I mean, look at this mess. 搞得一团乱We're gonna probably have to clean this up. 我得先来清理一下I mean, we're gonna have to reschedule! 看诊时间得要重约了If you thought that this mess was gonna bother me, you are wrong!若你认为这点脏乱就会影响我那你就错了All right, let's go, Blinky. 我们走吧，眨眼姑娘钱德！我们走吧，眨眼姑娘“中央咖啡馆” 我们走吧，眨眼姑娘Hey,Joey. What's up? 乔伊你怎么了？I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. 我无法决定走哪条路去赌城You've traveled a lot, right? 你去过不少地方吧？Yeah,I've been around. 对，见过世面Which route should I take? The north or the south route? 那我该选哪一条？北线还是南线？If you take the north route, there's a man with a beard of bees. 走北线途经伊利诺州有个男人会用蜜蜂当胡子Great! Problem solved! 太棒了，问题解决On the south route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe. 但是走南线的话可以看会玩井字游戏的鸡Well, back to square one. 又回到原点了I know a way that you can decide. 我知道有个方法能让你做决定I'll ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can. 我会问你一连串的问题你回答得越快越好Yes! 好！Good. But wait. 很好，不过先别急Here we go. I want you to relax. 开始罗，你先放轻松Take a deep breath. 深呼吸一口气Clear your mind. 心里不要想事情-Peanut butter or egg whites? -Peanut butter. 花生酱和蛋白，你喜欢哪个？花生酱-Be a fireman or a swimmer? -Swimmer. 你比较想当消防员还是游泳选手? 游泳选手-You'd sleep with Monica or Rachel? -Monica. 摩妮卡和瑞秋你比较想跟谁上床？摩妮卡…I always thought it'd be Rachel. 我一直都以为会是瑞秋呢-No thinking. Tie or ascot? -Ascot. 不要想事情… 领带或领巾？领巾-North or south route? -North. 南线或北线？北线Bam! There you go! Huh? 答案出现，厉害吧That was incredible! Beard of bees here I come! 不可思议蜜蜂胡，我来罗This guy again. 这傢伙又来了Hey,what's up? 你好吗？Not much. Wanna see a movie tonight? 普通，今晚想看电影吗？What do you wanna see? 好啊，你要看什么？I don't know. 不知道…I know how to decide. Show him your game. 我知道我们要如何决定菲比，让他见识你的游戏No, thank you. 免了，多谢What's with her? 她是怎么了？I don't know. I know how we can decide. 不知道，但我知道怎么决定了I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick. 我问你问题，你要很快回答好-Action or comedy? -Action. 动作片或喜剧你比较喜欢哪一个？动作片Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel? 摩妮卡和瑞秋你比较想跟谁上床？Dude, you are sick. 老兄，你真变态I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing. 抱歉，我忘了你迷恋过瑞秋Oh, my God. What does that thing do? 天啊，这是干嘛的？-An eye removal machine. -I'm out of here. 这是眼球摘除机好了，我要走了I'm kidding. 开玩笑的啦…Rachel,I'm Dr. Miller. 瑞秋，我是米勒医生Monica said you were nervous. Everything will be fine. 摩妮卡说你有点紧张不过别担心，不会有事的-So we're done. -Almost, but first we gotta start. 那就结束吧快了，不过我们要先开始This is a glaucoma test. Sit down. 这是青光眼测试请坐Put your chin here. 把脸颊放在这里Now, you'll feel a small puff of air in each eye. 好，眼睛会有风吹的感觉What? 什么？A small puff of air. Now, come on! 一点点的风啦，你快点！Here we go. 来罗好One,two,three. 一、二、三…I'm sorry. All right. 抱歉…好吧I'm gonna stay in here this time. 我这次不会动Ready? 好了吗？-One,two -I'm sorry. 一、二… 抱歉You know what? I'm gonna hold her head. 我来抓她头好了That's okay. 好一、二… 好I'm sorry. 对不起You're young. You don't have glaucoma. 你还年轻，应该没有青光眼So it was very, very nice to meet you, sir. 太好了，很高兴认识您What are you? Are you crazy? 你在干嘛？你疯了不成？You got a small, minor infection in that left eye. 好，你的左眼有些微感染Take these drops for a week and you'll be as good as new. 这眼药水一天点三次连续一周你就宛如新生了No, I don't put things in my eye. 我不把任何东西放进眼睛里We'll see you here in three months. And I'll fit you for a glass eye. 那好吧，三个月后再见太棒了我到时帮你装上义眼Give me the damn drops! 好啦，把那死眼药水给我Dr. Miller? 米勒医生？P-E-C-F-D. P、E、C、F、DVery good, Monica! 摩妮卡，棒极了-You know where they are. -I sure do. 你知道奖品放在哪里我当然知道And you don't get one. 你没有！You know,those eye drops are a miracle. 那眼药水实在是太神奇了My eye is 100 percent better. 我的眼睛百分之百好了-They're still in my coat. -Damn! 眼药水还放在我的外套里可恶-You ready to go? -Yeah. 准备好上路了没？好了How cold will it be there? Will all these sweater vests be enough? 不过那边会有多冷？我要带外套还是带这些毛衣就够了？-What? -I love you. 怎么了？我爱你I wish Ross was coming with us. I'll miss him. 真希望罗斯也能一起去我一定会很想念他的Thanks. I just got that jerk out of my mind. 真是多谢你了我才刚把那个混蛋给忘掉Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite? 我们住哪里？电影公司招待的饭店大套房？Not really. It's an independent film. 不算是，这是独立制片的电影We don't have a big budget. I'll stay in your room. 没有大预算我想我住你房间好了Once you get paid, you'll be springing for a suite. 了解，但等你拿到酬劳之后你会请我住饭店大套房吧？They must be paying you a lot. 主演电影的片酬一定不少吧？Yeah. For every dollar Shutterspeed makes... 是啊，我算给你听 “极限速度”每赚一块钱...one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket. 乔伊就能分到百分之一You don't get paid unless it makes money? 所以电影赚钱你才有钱拿？Did you not hear the plot of the movie? 你不知道这电影的情节吗？"She's been dead for 10 years." “贝丝已经过世十年了”I'm gonna be a millionaire! 我就快变成百万富翁了I wanted to say goodbye. 我只是要来跟你们说个再见And to see if you guys would place a little bet for me. 顺便托你们帮我下个注Twenty bucks on black 15. 20美元押黑色15号-You got it! -All right. 没问题好-You remember the number,right? -Yeah,black 13. 你记得号码吧？记得，黑色13号-Black 15! -You got it. 黑色15号啦! 没问题-All right. Bye-bye,now. -Bye,you guys. 再见…I'll say bye at the car. 我去车子那里替你送行Anyone wanna say bye to me at the car? 谁要去车子那里替我送行？I'll say goodbye to you at the car if you don't mind the pus. 我可以替你送行只要你不介意我眼睛化脓See you! 再见But wait a minute. The pus is good. It means it's healing. 等等，化脓是好现象表示快要好了Hey, Phoebe. What you reading? 菲比，你在看什么？菲比？菲比，你在看什么？Hello? 菲比，你在看什么？菲比？…菲比，你在看什么？Come on! 菲比？别闹了啦I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. 抱歉，我不知道你在这里Phoebe, are you mad at me or something? 菲比，你在生我的气吗？If you are, please tell me what it is I did. 我做了什么让你生气的事？-lf you don't know, I can't help you. -I don't know. 你不知道，我也帮不了你我是不知道啊Well, I can't help you. 那我也无能为力了Well, whatever it is, I am very, very sorry. Okay? 不管是什么事，我都非常抱歉Apology accepted. 我接受你的道歉So we're good? 那我们没事了？好吧那我们没事了？I'll see you later,okay? 那晚点见罗Bye,fat-ass. 好，大屁股All right! 够了！Will you please tell me what it is that made you so mad at me? 菲比，你快点说我做了什么让你这么不爽？I don't know! I don't remember! 我不知道，我不记得了What do you mean, you can't remember? 什么叫做你不记得了？I was so focused on being mad at you, I forgot what it was I was mad about.我太专心在生你的气气到都忘了生气的原因If you can't remember, can't we just forget about this? 既然忘了，那能不能就算了？Oh,no. I am mad at you. I know that much. 不行，我生你的气，这很确定But I'm sorry about the fat-ass thing because you have a sweet, little heinie.但我很抱歉骂你大屁股因为你的小屁屁很可爱I'm getting pretty tired. You'll have to take over soon. 我开得好累，你随时准备接手We've been driving for a half-hour. You haven't looked at the road once. 我们才上路半小时而且你都没在看路Don't worry. It's out there. 别担心，路就是路嘛Maybe I just need lunch. You wanna eat? 我想我该吃午饭了是啊你要吃吗？My treat. 我请客Isn't that Ross' money? 那不是罗斯的钱吗？Ross' treat. Where do you wanna eat? 是啊，好吧，罗斯请客你想吃什么？I don't know. 我不知道I know how we can decide. 我知道要怎么决定了I'll ask you questions. 我问你一堆问题And then you have to answer real fast. 你得很快回答So clear your mind. Clear it right out. Clear it out. 不要想事情，什么都不要想好It's all clear except for this image of a small, purple lamp. 我没在想事情但心里有个小紫灯的形象Is that all right if that stays in there? 这样不碍事吧？I don't see why not. I guess. 应该不碍事吧…You have to answer with the first thing that pops into your head, okay? 想到什么就直接回答好-Would you rather be too wet or too dry? -Too dry. 你宁愿太湿或太干？太干-Do you believe in ghosts? -No. 你相不相信有鬼？不相信-Will this movie be my big break? -No. 这电影会让我翻身吗？不会-What? -Yes. 什么？会-Dude,you said,no. -I also said,yes. 你刚才说不会我也说了会啊-This won't be my big break? -No. 你不觉得我这次会翻身？对I don't believe this. 岂有此理Look, I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high. 乔伊，我只是不要你期望太高What are you talking about? I'm the lead in a movie! 你在胡说什么？我是电影主角耶！They're not even paying you! This doesn't sound like a real movie! 那他们还不付你片酬？这电影听来跟幌子一样I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break. 我不需要听这种话搞不懂你干嘛泄我的气I don't think this is gonna be your big break. 乔伊，我不认为你这次能翻身Are you on this trip to make me feel like a loser? 所以你才来这趟？让我觉得自己是窝囊废？-I'd rather be alone. -You don't want me here? 如果是这样，那我宁愿自己去Not if you're like this. 你不要我陪你去？你这样我不要也罢The next time you ask me a question like that,I'll lie. 那好吧，下次你再问那种问题我骗你就是了I don't want you on the trip. 对！我不要你一起去Why don't you pull over. I'll get out now. 好，无所谓… 你停车，我马上走Fine. 好啊Get out. 滚吧You can't stop on a bridge. 在桥上不能随便就停车-Get out! -Fine! 滚啦！好啦！Wait! Wait! There's no sidewalk! 等等…桥上没有人行道！Yeah. I'm gonna die here. 我一定会死在这里“中央咖啡馆” 我一定会死在这里Are you mad at me because my hair gel smells? 好，你生我的气是因为我发胶有怪味？不是好，你生我的气是因为我发胶有怪味？Because I said your handwriting is childlike? 你生我的气是因为我说你写字像小孩？No. That made me feel precious. 不是，这样才特别啊Because he's always correcting people's grammar? 我知道了因为他老爱纠正别人文法？"Whom, whom." Sometimes it's "who"! 什么“WHOM”个没完有时候是用“WHO”啦！Yeah? Sometimes it's: 是吗？有时候是…Did you beat him at a board game? He's such a baby when he loses. 还是你玩西洋棋赢了他？他开始居于劣势就很孩子气Okay, I'm the baby. 好，我孩子气Hey! Stop it! 住手！What are you doing here? 钱德，你怎么会在这里？Joey kicked me out of the car on the bridge. 乔伊在华盛顿大桥上把我赶下车-Why? -I don't know. He went crazy. 为什么？… 不知道，他突然发飙We played that game where you ask questions and answer fast. 我们在玩快问快答的游戏That game should not be played without my supervision. 没有我在场监督绝对不能玩那个游戏I don't know what made him mad. 我不知道他干嘛气成那样All I said was that this wouldn't be his big break... 我只是说他这次不会翻身...that it wouldn't do anything for him... 说这部电影帮不了他...and that it didn't sound real. 说这部电影很像是幌子Okay, he should've pushed me off the bridge. 好啦，他该把我推下桥才对What's in the bag? 你袋子里有什么？I figured you'd be mad at me... 我猜想你们大家也会对我不爽...so I got gifts that I found on the roadside. 所以我在路边检了些礼物-Who wants the one-legged teddy bear? -I do! 谁要一条腿的泰迪熊？我要来了谁要一条腿的泰迪熊？我要-Not even close. -I need help! I can't do this. 差远了好啦，你帮我，我没办法Come on. Let's do it. 来，我帮你Sit down. All right, put your head back. 坐下好头往后仰好-Now open your eyes. -Okay,they are. 把眼睛张开好，张开了-How many fingers am I holding up? -Four. 我举了几只手指头？四只I was thinking four. 天啊，我心里想的也是四只-Really? -Yes! 真的？是啊Why don't we start with a practice one. 这样吧，我们先来预演一次好-No drops. -Great! 不滴眼药水太好了On three. One,two,three. 数到三，一、二、三…My pillow's all wet! 你害我沙发枕都湿了Well,you said it was practice! 你自己说是预演的Why did you move? 那你干嘛动？I knew you were lying! 因为我知道你在骗我-Come here. -What are you doing? 好吧，过来你要干嘛？Stop it! Oh,my God! 摩妮卡，天啊！住手！…I am going.... 我要…Turn it over! 转回来！I am going to get... 我要把......get these drops in your eye. 把眼药水…滴进你眼睛Oh, my God! You really are freakishly strong. 天啊，你蛮力真大Stop! Stop! 摩妮卡，住手！…Stop it! 住手Damn,it's empty! 可恶，滴完了！If Joey and Chandler walked in now, we could make a fortune. 如果现在乔伊和钱德走进来我们就发了That is definitely Chandler, Joey or Ross. 一定是钱德、乔伊或罗斯Or Rachel. 或是瑞秋It's Joey. 喂？是乔伊Chandler told me what happened. He's really upset. 真高兴你打来钱德都说了，他很难过Not as upset as he'll be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests.等他知道他毛衣的下场他一定会更难过What did you do to them? 你把他的毛衣怎么了？There's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. 这么说吧，在俄亥俄州有一伙打扮亮丽的狗I gotta ask Phoebe something about the car. 摩妮卡？菲比在吗？我有车子的事要问她Hold on one second. 她在，你等等-Hey, dude. -Hey, Phoebe. 嗨嗨，菲比，你听我说This wooden box keeps sliding out. What is it? 座位底下有个木盒滑出来那是什么？My grandma. 那是我祖母And thanks. She's having a great time. 乔伊，谢谢你，她玩得很愉快Is that Joey? Let me talk to him. 是乔伊吗？我要跟他说…Chandler's here. He was wondering if 乔伊？钱德不知道你…I guess he ran out of change. 我想他零钱正好用完了How am I gonna apologize to him if he won't even talk to me? 他连话都不想跟我说这样我要怎么跟他道歉？Send him something. So when he gets there, he'll know you're sorry. 或许你应该寄点东西给他等他到了赌城就知道你想表达歉意了That's a good idea. I wonder where I could get a basket of porn? 好主意，上哪儿找一堆A片？No,don't say, "I'm sorry," with porn. 不行，不能用A片道歉啦真的？You should send him a carton of cigarettes. 你应该寄一条烟过去Because that way he can trade it for protection. 他可以用来换取保护No. That's prison. 错了，监狱里才是这样I know how we're gonna figure this out. 菲比，我知道要怎么找出原因Clear your mind... 好，什么都不要想...and answer the first thing that comes into your head. 想到什么就直接回答-Do you like flora or fauna? -Fauna. 你比较喜欢植物还是动物？动物-Simon or Garfunkel? -Garfunkel. 你想当赛门还是葛芬柯？葛芬柯-Why are you mad? -You said I was boring. 你为何生我的气？因为你说我很无趣When did I say that? 我何时说过你无趣了？Oh,my God! I remember now! We were playing chess. 天啊，我想起来了我们下西洋棋那次Phoebe,you and l have never played chess. 菲比，我和你没下过西洋棋Remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing. You said I was boring.有啦，记得冰冻湖那次吗？我们玩西洋棋，你说我很无趣Then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz. 然后你脱下面具变成了卡麦蓉狄亚There's a chance this may have been a dream. 好吧，这有可能是梦境So this entire time,you've been angry with me because of a dream? 所以你这阵子以来对我不爽全是因为一场梦？Well, guess what, now I'm mad at you. 菲比，现在轮我不爽你了I wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream. 我想确定这次不是作梦Otherwise we're wasting our time. 免得浪费彼此的时间Stanley! 史丹利！Your leading man is here. Let's get to work. 你的主角来了，咱们开工吧Slight change of plans. 计划有些改变We've shut down. 我们停拍了What? Why? 什么？为什么？It's a money thing. We don't have any. 我们没钱You're kidding, right? 你在开玩笑吧？不是What? 什么？It's probably just temporary. 这或许只是暂时的We're hoping to get some money soon. Just hang out. 我们希望能快点筹到资金你先撑一下Hang out? How long? 撑一下？要撑多久？I don't know. A week. Maybe two. The money will turn up. 不知道，一、两个星期吧资金会出现的People always wanna invest in movies. You're not rich? 大家都爱投资拍电影你该不会是有钱人吧？我不是Worth a shot. 问一下也无妨Well, Joey, let me know where you're staying,okay? 乔伊，让我知道你在哪儿落脚Hey, pal. Are you Joey Tribbiani? 你是乔伊崔比亚尼吗？我是These got left for you. 这是有人留给你的Thanks. 谢了"Congratulations on your big break." 恭喜你翻身了-Monica, it's Joey. -Hey,Joey. 喂？摩妮卡，我是乔伊You remember me even though you're a star. 你当了大明星还是记得我Come on. It'll be years before I forget you. 得了吧，忘记你也要好几年What's it like on a movie set? 拍片现场是什么样子？Do you have a dressing room and a chair with your name? 你有自己的更衣室吗？有专属的私人座椅吗？Yeah,yeah,I got all that going on. 有啊，一切都在进行当中Tell Chandler he couldn't have been more wrong. 你一定要跟钱德说他完完全全看走眼了I gotta go,Monica. My sushi's here. 摩妮卡，我得挂了我的寿司送来了Sorry about that. Thanks for waiting. 抱歉，多谢你们等我没关系Everybody smile. 大家笑一个，多谢Thanks a lot. Enjoy your stay at Caesars. We hope it's toga-rific. 希望你们在凯萨住得愉快祝福你们“罗马”精神Kill me. Kill me now. 杀了我吧…Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide? 瑞秋，电视指南递给我好吗？好啊Go! 上！What are you doing? Get off! Oh, my God! 住手！…天啊！Hold it open. Okay. 好了…We'll see you in about three or four hours. 三、四个小时后再见。

Man, this is weird. 老兄，这好畸形哦Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are on his hat? 你知不知道脆脆上尉的眉毛长在帽子上？That's what's weird? 那叫畸型？The man's been captain of a cereal for 40 years. 乔伊，那傢伙当了四十年早餐片的上尉What? 怎样？The spoon! You licked and you put. 汤匙，你舔完放回去You licked and you put. 你舔完放回去Yeah, so? 所以呢？Don't you see how gross that is? It's like you using my toothbrush! 你看不出那很恶心吗？那就像你用我的牙刷一样You used my toothbrush? 你用我的牙刷？Only because I used the red one to unclog the drain. 那是因为我用红的那只去通排水孔嘛Mine is the red one! 红色是我的Oh, God! Can open. Worms everywhere! 一发就不可收拾了Why can't we use the same toothbrush... 为什么牙刷不能共用…... but we can use the same soap? …肥皂就可以共用？Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning. 因为肥皂是肥皂，会自我清洁The next time you shower... 好吧，下一次你洗澡的时候…...think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash. …想想我什么最后洗跟你什么最先洗...think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash. The One Where Joey Moves Out ...think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash. 六人行第2季第16集乔伊搬走了Look at you fancy lads! 瞧你们打扮的What's the occasion? 有什么大事？You know that guy on my show that's in a coma? 知道我节目里那个演昏迷不醒的？He's having a brunch. 他要请我吃饭Ready when you are. 就等你了好的I can't believe you're actually getting tattoos. 真不敢相信你们真的要去刺青了You guys are getting tattoos? 你们要去刺青？But you cannot tell Ross because I wanna surprise him. 对，不能告诉罗斯我要给他一个惊喜Wow, this is wild! What are you gonna get? 好狂野哦，你们要刺什么？I'm getting a lily. 我要刺一朵百合For my mom, because her name's Lily. 因为我妈就叫百合That's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch? 真幸运她要是叫大污点怎么办？-Where you getting it? -On my shoulder. 那你们要刺哪里？我想在我肩上What? 什么？What's on your shoulder? 什么在你肩上？A chip. 重担-A tattoo. I'm getting a tattoo. -A tattoo? 是刺青，我要去刺青啦刺青？Why? Why would you wanna do that? 你为什么要那么做？You don't think they're kind of cool? 你不觉得那酷吗？No. Sorry, I don't. 不，抱歉，我不觉得Why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? 怎么会有人花钱去搞个一辈子的伤痕？What if it doesn't come out right? 万一要是刺得不好呢？It's like having a bad haircut all the time. 那不是变成永远在 “我头发剪丑了”吗？Why is everyone staring at me? 大家为什么都瞪着我？Sign this card for Dad. Richard will be here soon. 罗斯，过来签给爸的生日卡理查随时会到Richard's going to the party too? 理查也要去参加派对？He's my parents' best friend. He has to go. 他是我父母最好的朋友他必须去So is today the day you'll tell them about you two? 那你打算今天告诉他们你们的事吗？Yeah, for my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke. 对，我爸的生日我决定送他中风No, I think you should tell them. 不，你应该告诉他们I don't know how serious he is. Until I do, I won't say anything. 我还不知道他对我有多认真在搞清楚之前，我什么也不说I don't think Mom and Dad would mind. 我不知道，我想他们不会介意Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, Dad said... 记得你九岁理查三十岁的时，爸常说…... "God, I hope they get together." …“天啊真希望他们在一起”Shall we? 好了，进去吧Okay, wait. 等等You know what? 你知道吗？Ross, let's switch places. You get in the middle. 罗斯，我们换位置你来站中间This looks like we're trying to cover something up. 不，这看起来像我们想隐瞒什么You could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. 摩妮卡，就算你骑着他进去他们也不会相信的We're here! 我们来了-Hi, kids! -The children! 孩子们是孩子们-Happy birthday, Dad. -Thank you. 生日快乐，爸爸谢谢Happy birthday! 生日快乐So you kids thanked Dr. Burke for the ride? 你们谢过柏大夫载你们来了吗？Actually, Mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us. 妈，事实上摩妮卡帮我们两个谢过了So you kids take the train in? 你们搭火车来吗？No, Richard Burke gave them a ride. 不，柏理查载他们来的Speaking of whom... 谈到他呀…... I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. …听说他在城里有个二十岁的幼齿Finger cramp! Oh, God! 手指抽筋，抱歉Sorry. Here, let me get that, Mom. 来，让我来，妈So Richard's shopping in the junior section? 理查在青少年部“购物”Are we still on that? 还在讲那个吗？You just know she's got the lQ of a napkin. 想也知道她的智商一定超低She's probably not even pretty. 说不定连漂亮都谈不上Just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. 只是够年轻所以一切都还没下垂Can you believe this place? 你相信这个地方吗？I know. This is a great apartment. 我知道，这个公寓很棒In the bathroom there's mirrors on both sides of you. 我刚去过浴室两边墙上都有镜子When you're in there, it's like peeing with the Rockettes. 尿尿的时候就好像有一排人在排排尿Well, there's my fantasy come true. 我的梦想实现了Seriously. 不，说真的We were just saying, great apartment! 我们正在赞美你的公寓，老兄Thanks. You want it? 谢了，你要吗？I'm moving to a bigger place. 我要搬去一个更大的You should take this one. 你真的应该租下来Can you see me in a place like this? 你看我会住这种地方吗？Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings? 有何不可呢？你讨厌公园景观跟高天花板吗？Come on, I'll show you the kitchen. 来吧，我带你去看厨房That's all right, I saw a kitchen this morning. 不用了，兄弟我今早在电视上…On TV. …看过一个厨房Stop talking. Okay! 不要再说了-Come on, tell us! -ls she really 20? 来嘛，告诉我们对，她真只有二十？I am not telling you guys anything. 你们休想逼我说什么Come on, it's my birthday. Let me live vicariously! 来嘛，理查，今天是我生日让我过一下干瘾嘛Dad, you really don't want to do that. 爸，你真的不会想那样做What's a little midlife crisis between friends? 跟朋友分享一下你的中年危机嘛Would you let it go? 杰克，你别说了，好吗？I know what you're going through. When I turned 50, I got the Porsche. 我了解你在做什么我五十时买了部保时捷You got your own little speedster. 你有自己的小“加速器”-Seriously, it's not like that. -Tell you what. 各位，说真的，不是像那样这样吧Maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could 或许找个周末我车子借你，你的小…Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence! 爸，我求你不要说完那个句子What? I'm kidding! 怎么？我在逗他You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche. 我才不会让他碰我的保时捷Okay, Rach. 阿秋Which lily? This lily or that lily? 哪一朵百合？这一朵或那一朵？-Well, l -I like this lily. 我… 我喜欢这朵It's more open and that's like my mom. 开得比较大，就像我妈She had a more open, giving spirit. 她有比较开放给予的精神Foghorn Leghorn! 雾号麦杆Blonde girl? You're in room two. 金发的，你去第二间Not-so-blonde girl, you're with me. 没那么金的，你跟我来Here we go! 走吧You're not going. 你不进去？Is this because of what Ross said? 怎么了？是因为罗斯的话吗？-Well, yeah, maybe. -I don't believe this. 是啦，或许我真不敢相信Is this how this relationship works? Ross equals boss? 你们的关系这样维持吗？罗斯是老板？Come on, what is this, 1922? 少来了现在是1922年吗？What's 1922? 1922年有什么？Just, you know, a long time ago. 只是很久以前嘛When men used to tell women what to do a lot. 当时是女人很多事得听男人的时代Then there was suffrage, which was a good thing. But it sounds horrible. 然后还有投票权那是件好事，但听起来很可怕Do you want this tattoo? 你到底要不要刺？Yes, I do. It's just that Ross 我要啊，只是罗斯他…Is your boyfriend the boss of you? 你男友是你的老板吗？Who is the boss of you? 那好，谁是你的老板？You? 你？You are the boss of you! 不，你是你的老板You march in there and get that tattoo on your hip! 你现在给我进去把那颗红心刺上去Go! 去How you doing? 你怎么了？I'm a twinkie! 我是个幼齿Really? I'm a hero. 真的？我是英雄This is so hard. 这好难哦Yeah, I know. I hate it too. 是呀，我知道，我也讨厌这样Look, maybe we should just tell them. 听着，或许我们应该说出来Maybe we should just tell your parents first. 或许我们应该先告诉你父母My parents are dead. 我父母死了God, you are so lucky! 你真幸运I mean Well, you know what I mean. 不，我是说… 你懂我意思Just hang in there, okay? 忍耐一下，好吗？Okay, I'll go out first, all right? 我先出去，好吗？Judy! Going to the bathroom. Good for you! 茱蒂，上洗手间呀，有你的Thank you, Richard. I appreciate the support. 谢谢，理查，很感激你的支持Honey. 蜜糖Seen my Harmon Kille brew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.你有没有看到我的奇哈蒙球棒老鲍不相信我有I have no idea. 我不知道Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city? 你知道理查在城里有个幼齿吗？I know. He's a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon. 我知道，他像个全新的男人好像进了“魔茧”一样I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo. 我怎么也无法幻想理查和小笨妹在一起He told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. 显然他告诉沙强尼那个女孩不错He told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her. 事实上，他告诉强尼他想他爱上她了-Really? -I've never seen him this happy. 真的？告诉你，我没见他这么快乐过So, Jack... 杰克…...ever think about trading me in for a younger model? …你有没有想过拿我去换个年轻小妞儿？Of course not. 当然没有With you, it's like I've got two 25-year-olds. 你不就等于两个二五佳人？Oh, Jack, stop! 杰克，住手Come on! 来嘛It's my birthday! 今天是我生日Can we drop this? 别说了，好吗？I am not interested in the guy's apartment. 我对那傢伙的公寓没兴趣Oh, please. I saw the way you were checking out his moldings. 拜托，我看到你检查他房子装饰的样子You want it. 你想要Why would I want another apartment? 我干嘛要另外一个房子？I've already got an apartment that I love. 我已经有个我爱的房子了It wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while. 是嘛，偶尔这样说说又不会死All right. You want the truth? I'm thinking about it. 好吧，想听实话吗？我的确在考虑-What? -I'm sorry. 什么？抱歉I'm 28. I've never lived alone... 我今年28了从没自己住过…...and I'm at a place where I got enough money... …而我终于赚到足够的钱…...that I don't need a roommate. …可以让我不再需要室友I don't need a roommate either. 我也不需要室友啊I can afford to live here by myself. 自己住这里我也负担得起I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware. 我或许一个礼拜得请一次人来舔我的餐具Why are you getting so bent out of shape? 你老兄火气干嘛那么大We didn't agree to live together forever. 我们又没说要永远住在一起We're not Bert and Ernie. 我们又不是连体婴You know what? 知道吗？If this is the way you feel... 如果你这样觉得…...then maybe you should take it. …那或许你应该搬去-That's how I feel. -Then maybe you should take it! 我是那样觉得那或许你应该搬去Maybe I will! 那或许我会-Fine with me! -Great! 那好很好You can spend more quality time with your real friends... 你就有多点时间跟你真正的朋友混…...the spoons! …你的汤匙Whose drink can I freshen? 谁还要加点饮料？Almost time for cake! 快要切蛋糕了Mon, are you okay? 摩妮卡？你还好吗？You remember that video I found of Mom and Dad? 记得我发现爸妈的那卷录影带吗？Well, I just caught the live show. 我刚看了现场秀-Hey, there. -What? 嗨怎样？Nothing. I just heard something nice about you. 没什么我刚听到你的好话Really? 真的？-Your son isn't seeing anyone, is he? -Not that I know of. 你儿子现在没女朋友吧？据我所知，没有I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call? 我是在想… 他何不打个电话给摩妮卡？That's an idea. 那…是个主意Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone. 事实上，我已经有男友了Oh? 是吗？She never tells us anything. 这孩子什么事都不讲Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone? 罗斯你知道摩妮卡有男友了吗？Mom, there are so many people in my life. 妈，我周遭有好多好多人Some are seeing people and some aren't. 有些人有男朋友，有些人没有Is that crystal? 那是水晶的吗？So who's the mystery man? 那个神秘男子是谁？Well, he's a doctor. 他是个医生A real doctor? 真正的医生？No, a doctor of meat. 不，他是研究肉的Of course he's a real doctor. 他当然是真的医生And he's handsome. 他很英俊And he's sweet, and I know you'd like him. 人很好我知道你会喜欢他Well, that's wonderful. 那太棒了Mom, it's okay. 妈，没关系It is, Judy. 没错，茱蒂Jack! 杰克Could you come in here for a moment? 请你进来一下，好吗？Now! 现在-Found it! -I'll take that, Dad. 找到了交给我，爸It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item. 你女儿跟理查看来似乎是一对That's impossible. He's got a twinkie in the city. 那不可能，他在城里有个幼齿I'm the twinkie. 爸，我是那个幼齿-You're the twinkie? -She's not a twinkie! 你是那个幼齿？她不是个幼齿Look, this is the best relationship I've been in 好吧，听着，各位这是我有过最棒的关系…Oh, please! A relationship? 拜托，关系？Yes, a relationship! 对，关系For your information, I'm crazy about this man. 你们请听好我为这个男人疯狂Really? 真的？Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday? 我生日还要站在这里听你说这些鬼话吗？This is a good thing. You said you've never seen Richard happier. 这是件好事，你自己也说你没见理查那么快乐过When did I say that? 我何时说的？Upstairs in the bathroom, right before you felt up Mom! 楼上的浴室啊，你摸妈之前Happy birthday to you 祝你生日快乐Happy birthday to you 祝你生日快乐Happy birthday, dear Jack 祝你生日快乐，杰克Happy birthday to you 祝你生日快乐It looks so good! Oh, I love it. 好漂亮哦，我好喜欢I know, so do l! I'm so glad you made me do this. 我知道，我也是菲比，我好高兴你逼我刺Okay, let me see yours. 让我看你的Let's see yours again. 再瞧瞧你的We just saw mine. Let me see yours. 菲比，我的才刚看过让我看你的Oh, no! 不…It's gone! That's so weird. 不见了，好古怪哦I don't know how, where it went. 不知道去哪里了You didn't get it? 你没刺？Why not? 你为什么没刺？I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 对不起…How could you do this to me? This was your idea! 菲比，你怎么可以这样对我？这全是你的主意I know! I was gonna get it, but he came in with this needle. 我知道…我本来是要刺的可是他拿着针走进来And did you know they do this with needles? 你知道他们是用针刺的吗？Really? You don't say? 真的？真的吗？Because mine was licked on by kittens! 因为我的是猫舔上去的I'm sorry about what 听着，今天的事我很抱歉…-Yeah, me too. -I know. 我也是我知道Do we need to hug? 我们需要抱一下吗？No, we're all right. 不，没关系So I got you something. 我有东西送你Plastic spoons! 塑胶汤匙-Great! -Lick away, my man! 太棒了舔吧，老兄These will go great in my new place till I get real ones. 这在我的新家会很好用先应付应付What? 什么？I can't use these forever. They're no friend of the environment. 我不能永远用塑胶汤匙这不环保No, I mean what's this about your new place? 不…我是说… 你说什么新家？I'm moving out, like we talked about. 我要搬出去，像我们谈过的I didn't think that was serious. 我不知道你是认真的You know, I thought that was just a fight. 我以为我们只是在吵架Well, it was a fight... 我们是吵架了…... based on serious stuff, remember? …有根有据的，记得吗？About how I never lived alone or anything? 关于我从没一个人住过I think it would be good for me. Help me to grow... 我只是想，这对我有好处帮我成长…...or whatever. …之类的Well, there you go. 那就是了Hey, are you cool with this? 这你没问题吧？I don't wanna leave you high and dry. 我不想让你觉得被遗弃了I've never been lower or wetter. 不，我也不会觉得更愉快的I'll be fine. I'll just turn your... 我不要紧的我就把你的房间…... bedroom into a game room. …改成游戏室之类的好了Put the foosball table in there. 把足球桌放在里面Why do you get to keep the table? 那桌子为什么该归你？I did pay for half of it. 我付了一半的钱I paid for the other half. 对，我付了另一半I'll tell you what. I'll play you for it. 这样吧，谁赢谁的All right, you're on. 好呀，没问题I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass. 我可以抽出时间来痛宰你一顿Your men will get scored on more times than your sister. 我得的分会比你妹被上过的次数还多Which sister? 哪一个妹妹？So are you sorry that I told them? 你后悔我告诉他们吗？No. It's been a long time since your dad and I went running. 不，我跟你爸好久没去跑步了Did you get it? 你们刺了吗？给我看-ls Ross here? -He went out for pizza. 罗斯在吗？不在，他去买披萨Okay, really quick. 一下就好That's great! 好漂亮Very tasteful. 很有品味Wanna see mine? Wanna see mine? 要看我的吗？…What? You didn't get one. 什么？你又没刺Okay. Well then, what is this? 那这是什么？What are we looking at? 我们在看什么？That blue freckle? 那颗蓝雀斑？That's my tattoo. 那是我的刺青That is not a tattoo. That is a nothing. 那不是刺青，那什么也不是I got her in the chair... 我终于逼她回去再刺…...he barely touched her with the needle, she screamed and that was it. …针根本都还没碰到她她就跳起来尖叫逃走Okay, hi! 嗨For your information, this is exactly what I wanted. 这正是我想要听到的This is a tattoo of the Earth as seen from a great, great distance. 这是个从很远的地方看到的地球It's the way my mother sees me from heaven. 我妈从天堂看到我就是这样的Oh, what a load of crap! 真是狗屁一堆That is a dot! 那是一个点Your mother's in heaven going, "Where the hell's my lily, you wuss!" 你妈正在天堂上大叫“我的百合在哪里？狗熊”That is not a tattoo! This is a tattoo! 菲比，那不是个刺青这才是个刺青You got a tattoo? 你去刺青了？Maybe. 或许But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world! 只是个小的啦菲比刺了全世界Well, let me see. 让我看看Well? 怎样？Well, it's really... 这非常的…...sexy. 性感I wouldn't have thought it would be, but... 我没想到会这样，但…...wow! …哇Really? 真的？So is it sore? Or can you do stuff? 对，所以会酸痛吗？你可以活动吗？I guess. 可以吧Save us some pizza. 留些披萨给我们Get it out of the corner! 别窝在角落Pass it! Pass it! 传球…Stop talking to your men! 别跟你的人讲话And the table is mine. 帅，桌子是我的了Congratulations. 恭喜了You guys will still come visit me, right? 你们还是会来看我，对吧？Oh, yeah! You got the big TV. 会呀，你有大荧幕电视We'll be over there all the time. 我们会常常去的Except when we are here. 除了在这里时I know you're just moving uptown, but I'll really miss you. 我知道你只是往北搬我还是会很想你的How can you not be across the hall anymore? 你怎会不再是我的对门芳邻了？Who's gonna eat all of our food and tie up our phone lines 是呀，谁来吃光我们的东西占用我们的电话…Is that my bra? 那是我的胸罩吗？-What are you doing with my bra? -It's not what you think. 你拿我的胸罩去干嘛？不…你想歪了We used it to fling water balloons off the roof. 我们用那个来在屋顶上弹水球Remember? Those kids couldn't even get theirs across the street. 记得吗？那些初中生连弹到对面都办不到Yeah, I remember. 是呀，我记得Let's bring the rest of these down to the truck. 咱们把剩下的搬上卡车You want me to... 你要我…...give you a hand with the foosball table? …帮你搬这个足球桌下去吗？You keep it. You need the practice. 不了，你留着，你需要练习Thanks. 谢了So... 所以…... I gue ss this is it. …我猜就这样了Yeah, right. 是呀，对I guess so. 大概吧When am I gonna see you? 我不知道我们何时会再见？I'm guessing tonight at the coffeehouse. 我猜今晚在咖啡馆？Right. Yeah. Okay. 对呀。

Everybody, shh, shh,SCentral Park is proud to present the music ofMiss Phoebe Buffay.Hi. Um, I want to start with a song that is about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about.OK, here we go.OK, thank you very much.What?Oh, great.This is just...Wow, this is so cool, you guys.The entire city is blacked out!Mom says it's all of Manhattan,parts of Brooklyn and Queens,and they have no idea when it's coming back on.Wow, you guys, this is big.Pants and a sweater? Why, mom?Who am I gonna meet in a blackout?Power company guys? Eligible looters?Could we talk about this later? OK.Can I borrow the phone?I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. What's my number?Well, I never call me.Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.- Hi Mom, it's Jill. - She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre.I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium.Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule. Jill says vestibule...I'm going with vestibule.I'm fine. No, I'm not alone...I don't know, some guy.Oh! Some guy. Some guy.'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night.Yes, he was some guy.Hi everyone.And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani. Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish,and these are the only candles we have, so...Happy Chanukah, everyone.Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.That had to hurt!Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word.Oh God, do something. Just make contact,Smile!There you go!You're definitely scaring here.Would you like to call somebody?Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks.- Hello? - Hey, it's me.It's Chandler!- Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.I'm trappd in an ATM vestibulewth Jill GoodacreWhat?I'm trappd... in an ATM vestibule...wth Jill Goodacre!I have no idea what you just said.Put Joey on the phone.What's up man?I'm trppd... in an ATM vestibule...wth Jill Goodacre.Oh my God!He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Chandler, listen.Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind. Alright, somebody.OK, I'll go.OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.That's my sister.OK... my weirdest place would have to be...the women's room on the second floor ofthe New York CIty public library.Oh my God! What were you doing in a library? Pheebs, what about you?Oh... Milwaukee.Um... Ross?Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'No way!The ride broke down.So, Carol and I went behinda couple of those mechanical Dutch children...then they fixed the ride,and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. - Oh, Rachel. - Oh come on, I already went.- You did not go! - Come on.Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be...oh, the foot of the bed.Step back. We have a winner!I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there,in the middle of a theme park.Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line. There, well, see?Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course. Come on.No, he said we were holding up the people behind us.And you didn't marry him because...?I mean, do you think there are peoplewho go through life never having that kind of...Probably.But you know, I'll tell you something.- Passion is way overrated. - Yeah right.It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out.But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism.So, you know, for all of those people who miss out onthat passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.- OK. - But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.You don't.Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.- Really? - Mmmm.-You do? - I do.Oh Ross, you're so great.It's never gonna happen.What?You and Rachel.Why not?Because you waited too long to make your move,and now you're in the friend zone.No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.Ross, you're mayor of the zone.I'm taking my time, alright?I'm laying the groundwork.Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...Priesthood!Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soonyou're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment.What? What, now?Yeeeeaaaahhh!What's messing you up?The wine? The candles? The moonlight?You've just got to go up to her and say,'Rachel, I think that...'What are you shushing?We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. What?Don't you hear that?See?Would you like some gum?Um, is it sugarless?Sorry, it's not.Oh, then no thanks.What the hell was that?Mental note : If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it.If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.*New York City has no power,**and the milk is getting sour.**But to me it is not scary,**because I stay away from dairy*- OK, here goes. - Are you going to do it? I'm going to do it.Do you want any help?You come out there, you're a dead man. Good luck, man.- Hey, where are you going? - Outside. You can't go out there.Why not?Because of... the reason.And that would be?I, um, can't tell you.-Joey, what's going on?OK, you've got to promise thatyou'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you. About what?He's planning your birthday party.Oh my God! I love him!You'd better act surprised.-- About what? - My surprise party!- What surprise party? - Oh stop it.Joey already told me.Well, he didn't tell me.Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing. This is so typical.I'm always the last one to know everything.No, you are not. We tell you stuff.Yuh-huh! I was the last one to knowwhen Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo.I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in.What?Looks like I was second to last.Hmmm... this is so nice.OK, I have a question. .Well, actually, it's not so much a question as..more of a general wondering... mentOK. Here goes.For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....Yes, yes, that's right...- Oh, look at the little cat! - What? Ow!*I'm on top of the world,**I'm on top of the world,**looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find,* This is just Bactine. It won't hurt.This is just Bactine. It won't hurt.Sorry, that was wax.Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death.We should find his owner.Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall? During a blackout? He'd get trampled!-Yeah?You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. 'Gum would be perfection'?,''Gum would be perfection.'Could have said 'gum would be nice,'or 'I'll have a stick"but no, no, no, no.For me, gum is perfection.I loathe myself.Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things,Hi. We just found this catand we're looking for the owner.Er, yeah, it's mine.He seems to hate you.Are you sure?Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.Wait a minute. What's his name?Ehhhh... B-Buttons.-Bob Buttons?Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.Oooh! You are a very bad man!You owe me a cat.Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty.Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty...Kitty, kitty, kitty. Come here, kitty, kitty.- Hi. - Buona sera.Come on. Lucky sixes....Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo,I want you to meet my friends.This is Monica.And Joey....And Ross.He doesn't speak much English.- Monopoly! - Look at that!So, um... where did Paolo come from?Oh... Italy, I think.No, I mean tonight,in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!Is that funny?That, that is funny... and Rachel keeps touching him. Alright. I looked all over the buildingand I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again!And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo. Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.You betcha!Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble.A bubble's good. It's got a...boyish charm, it's impish.Here we go.Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK.All I need to do is reach overand put it in my mouth.Good save!We're back on track,and I'm...chewing someone else's gum.This is not my gum.Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.Are you alright?My God, you're choking!That better?Yes.Thank you. That was... that was....Perfection?Wha-What did he say that was so funny?I have absolutely no idea.That's... that's classic.Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!If you want, I'll do it.I know,I just want to bite his bottom lip.But I won't.God, the first time he smiled at me...those three seconds were more exciting thanthree weeks in Bermuda with Barry.You know, did you ride mopeds?Because I've heard...Oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.Y'know, I know it's totally superficialand we have absolutely nothing in common,and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd.... Paolo.Hi.Ross!Listen. Um,listen.um,Something you should... know...Rachel and I...we're kind of a thing.Thing?Ah, you... have the sex?No,no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had,but that's... see, that's not the point.See, um, the point is that...Rachel and Ishould be, er, together.You know, and if you get in the.... um...Bed?No, that's not where I was going.Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing,then I would be, well, very sad.So you do know a little English.Poco... a leetle.Do you know the word crap weasel?- No. - That's funny,because you know, you are a huge crap weasel! Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this!Now watch, it's easy. OK. Ready?Try it.No, you've got to whip it.Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. negative 46, negative 47, negative 48- Thank you. - Thanks.Kinda... spooky without any lights.OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive oneHey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.- Well, this has been fun. - Yes.Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone...and for saving my life.Well, goodbye Chandler.I had a great blackout.See ya.Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457.And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that,but I would really like a copy of the tape.第一季第七集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。

He sprang to his sleigh To his team gave a whistle 他拉起他的雪橇他吹起他的口哨And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle 他们奔驰而去如同蓟草的细毛But I heard him exclaim Ere he drove out of sight 但我听他喊出就在他要消失飞去之前"Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night." “祝大家圣诞快乐还有大家有个美好的夜晚”Wow! That was great! You really wrote that? 哇！真是太棒了！真的是你自己创作的吗？Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa. 再见了，精灵们我要去土尔沙了I can't believe you won't be here for Christmas. 我不敢相信圣诞节你竟然会不在这里You're really not coming back? 你真的不回来吗？We have this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. 我们有很多报告都要在年底的时候归档Why can't those dumb Tulsa people do the work? 为什么那些愚蠢的土尔沙人没有办法做呢？Because those dumb people got everything dumped on them.. 因为那些愚蠢的人得接收了一切…by the arrogant jerks in the New York office. 王八蛋纽约人丢给他们的工作I'm caught between two worlds. 我被卡在两个世界中间- If I don't get it done, I'll be fired. - It's so unfair. -如果我不去做，我就会被炒鱿鱼 -真是不公平- You don't even like your job. - So. Who does? -你根本就不喜欢你的工作 -那又如何呢，谁喜欢自己的工作？- I like my job. - I love my job. -我喜欢我的 -我爱我的工作- I can't wait to go back to work. - I can't get enough dinosaurs. -我等不及要回去上班了 -我对恐龙就是玩不厌I'm sorry I won't be here. 我很抱歉没有办法回来It's hard enough not seeing you during the week.. 平常没有办法见到你已经够难受了…but for Christmas.. 但是圣诞节…If this is what you have to do, I understand. 如果这就是你必须要做的事我会谅解Thanks. 谢谢I'll see you New Year's Day. 新年当天见You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve? 你除夕没有要回来吗？- Did I not mention that? - No. -我没有提过吗？ -没有And to all a good night! 那大家晚安了！The One With Christmas In Tulsa 那大家晚安了！29 好了大家，我知道今晚是圣诞夜…and you'd rather be with family, but there is no call for writing.. 你们都想要跟家人在一起但是也不可以写…"Screw you, Mr. Bing" on the back of my chair. “去你的，宾先生” 贴在我的椅子后面By the way, you can all call me Chandler. 对了，你们叫我钱德就可以了- Hey. - Hey. Where you been? -嘿 -嘿，你跑哪去了？I was checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three.我去三楼看那间保险公司的圣诞派对It was really beautiful. They have decorations and this huge tree.真的是很美，他们有很多装饰品还有一颗很大的树And I just thought, to hell with them, we have to work. 然后我就想，去他们的我们竟然要工作So I stole their ham. 所以我偷了他们的火腿Hear that? You may not be with your families.. 听到了没？你们或许没有跟家人在一起…but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here. 但是至少这里也可以闻到过节的火腿味My kid's in a play right now. 我的小孩现在正在表演话剧You know what? I know what will cheer you up. 你们知道吗？我知道要怎么鼓舞你们I had a talk with the boys in New York. I told them about all your hard work..我跟纽约那边的人谈过了我告诉他们你们全是如何辛勤工作…and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order. 所以你们可能都会得到一些圣诞奖金"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."已经以您的名义把一项捐款…捐赠给纽约市立芭蕾舞团已经以您的名义把一项捐款…Well, that's like money in your pocket. 嗯，那其实就像是进了你们的口袋一样啊？All right, you want me to say it? This sucks. 好了，你们一定要逼我说吗？这实在很烂Being here sucks. This work sucks! 在这里真是烂，这份工作真是烂！Now it feels like Christmas. 现在就有点像是圣诞节了I'm sorry. 我很抱歉At least you get to go home and be with your families tonight. 至少今晚你们都还可以回家跟家人在一起I have to go to an empty hotel room and lay down.. 我只能回去一间空荡荡的旅馆房间然后躺在…on a very questionable bedspread. 一张很有卫生问题的床单上Then tomorrow, you get to have Christmas in your own houses. 然后明天，你们都可以在自己家里过节Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to. 顺便提一下，你们没有一个邀请我去- You can come to my house. - No, thanks. -你可以来我家 -不用了，谢谢- It was a nice pep talk. - Thanks. -真是精彩的精神讲话 -谢谢I'm actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.我是真的有在想要成为激励演说家So if you were home right now, what would you be doing? 那如果你现在在家你会是在做什么呢？Typical Christmassy stuff, you know. Our holidays are pretty traditional.一般的圣诞节活动，你知道的我们过节的方式是很传统的So here's a very special holiday song.. 有一首十分特殊的节庆歌曲…that I wrote for some very important people to me. 是我为一些对我很重要的人写的：Happy holidays, everybody. 大家圣诞快乐Phoebe, look in the kitchen. I'll look in the back closet. 菲比，去检查厨房，我去看衣橱后面I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here. 我可以节省你们的时间，女士们我就正在这里Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a walk. 钱德，你何不出去一下This doesn't concern you. 这跟你没有关系We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. 我们在找摩妮卡准备的圣诞礼物- What? That's terrible. - No, no. We do it every year. -什么？这实在太过分了 -不不，我们每年都这样做的Well, that makes it not terrible. 喔，那就样就不过分了No. Yeah, we never find them. She's always bested us, that wily.. 是啊，我们从来没有找到过她总是高明过我们，那个狡猾又…minx. 邪恶的女人We're gonna search here for an hour.. 我们会在这边找一个小时…and then we'll go to Joey's and search. Okay? 然后再过去乔伊家找，好吗？No, not okay. You can't look for Monica's presents. 不，不好你们不可以找摩妮卡的礼物- No, we have to. - No, you don't have to. -我们一定要 -不，你们不需要这样And you can't, because I live here too. 你们不行，因为我也住在这里- Well, then you should look with us. - Why? -那么你应该帮我们找 -为什么？Aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? 你难道不烦恼要买什么圣诞礼物给摩妮卡吗？No, I have a great idea for a present for her. 不担心，我已想好一个很棒的礼物要给她That's it? "A great idea"? 就这样？“已经想好”？That's not enough. What if she gets you a great present.. 那是不够的万一她送你的是一个很棒的礼物…two medium presents and lots of little presents.. 两个中等的礼物还有很多的小礼物…and you got her one great present? That's gonna make her feel bad. 而你只送她一个很棒的礼物？那会让她很伤心的Why would you do that to her? Why? Why? 你为什么要那样对待她呢？为什么？为什么？- If I helped, we could find them faster! - Right. -如果我帮忙，我们就可以更快找到！ -没错- We have a live one! - It's a Macy's bag! -我找到一个了！！ -这是梅西百货的袋子！Who's it for? 这是要给谁的？"Dear Losers: Do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch?亲爱的失败者：你们真的认为我会将礼物藏在沙发下面吗？P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you." 附注：钱德，我就知道她们可以说服你Rach, these are for you. 瑞秋，这些是给你的Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. 雨刷，但是我根本就没有车子No, but with this new-car smell, you'll think you do. 是没有，但是加上这个有新车味道的芳香剂，你会以为你有的Okay, Phoebe, your turn. 好了，菲比，轮到你了Toilet seat covers! 马桶座盖纸！Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? 这是不是在我想放屁的时候你们去弄的呢？You guys. 你们俩And for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth. 还有给罗斯，甜食先生- You got me a cola drink? - And.. a lemon-lime! -你们送我可乐？？ -还有…柠檬口味！Well, this.. This is too much. 喔，这… 这礼真是太大了I feel like I should get you another sweater. 我觉得我应该再送你一件毛衣And last but not least.. 最后一位…They're ribbed, for your pleasure. 是罗纹保险套，让你得到绝顶满足Well, hey, Ben? 嘿！班What if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?要不要节庆穿山甲来告诉你光明节的由来呢？Cool! 好啊！Come on, Ben. 来吧，班Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees! 很多年以前，有一群叫做马加比家族的人…Merry Christmas! 圣诞快乐！Santa! 圣诞老公公！What are you doing here, Santa? 你在这里做什么呢？圣诞老公公Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. 喔，我是来看我的老朋友班的What are you doing here.. 你在这里做什么呢？你这只…weird turtle-man? 奇怪的乌龟男？I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. 我是节庆穿山甲，你的半犹太血统朋友You sent me here to give Ben some presents. 你要我过来送些礼物给班的Remember? 记得吗？What? 什么？Ben, why don't you open some more presents. 班，你何不去打开更多的礼物Santa, the armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen.圣诞老公公、穿山甲跟我要去厨房谈谈There's a sentence I never thought I'd say. 我说了我以为这辈子都认为不可能说的话What are you doing? 你在做什么呢？You called and said you had trouble finding a Santa costume.. 你打电话告诉大家说你找不到圣诞老公公的服装…so I borrowed one from a guy at work. 所以我跟公司的同事借了这一套Thank you, but you gotta leave. 谢谢你，但是你得要离开- Why? - Because.. -为什么？ -因为…I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah. 我终于让他对犹太光明节有兴趣了And you're wrecking it. 而你破坏了这一切But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly. 但是我还没有机会把肚子像果冻一样摇的晃来晃去I'm sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me. 我很抱歉，钱德但是这对我真的很重要Okay, fine. I'll give the suit back. 好的，没关系，我去还这套衣服Hey, you think you can keep it another night? 嘿，你觉得可以把这套衣服多留一晚吗？Santa? Really? 圣诞老公公？真的吗？- Yeah, is that okay? - Did your dad ever dress up like Santa? -是啊，可以吗？ -你爸爸有扮过圣诞老公公吗？- No. - Then it's okay! -没有 -那就没问题了！You know what, everybody? 你们知道吗？你们大家Go home. You should be with your families. 回家去，你们应该跟家人在一起It's bad enough we're working New Year's Eve. 我们要在除夕夜工作就已经够糟了Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve? 我没有告诉大家除夕夜的事吗？All right, look, go. Go home, okay? Merry Christmas. 好了，听着，回去，回家去，好吗？圣诞快乐- Merry Christmas. - Peace on earth. -圣诞快乐 -世界和平- Bye. - Good. Godspeed, good people. -再见 -很好，快走，一群好人- You're not gonna go? - No. I couldn't leave you alone. -你没有要走吗？ -没有，我不能留你一个人在这里Thanks. 谢谢Besides, I can't leave until that Christmas party downstairs clears out.除此之外，我得要等到楼下的派对都结束了我才能走There are some pissed-off insurance people looking for that ham. 有一些气爆了的保险员正在找他们的火腿- Chandler Bing. - Hi, honey. We're all here. -钱德宾 -嗨，亲爱的，我们全部都在这里We want to wish you a merry Christmas. 我们想要祝你圣诞快乐- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! -圣诞快乐！ -圣诞快乐！Merry Christmas. I miss you guys. 圣诞快乐，我想念你们So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard? 很难受吗？每个人都在认真工作吗？Well, no, it's just me and Wendy. 嗯，没有，只有我跟温蒂Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name. 温蒂？听起来想是女生的名字It is. Did I not tell you about her? 就是女生，我没有提过她吗？About the time you told me about New Year's Eve. 应该就在你跟我提起除夕夜的事的时候- Where's everybody else? - I sent them home. -大家去哪了？ -我让他们回家了You are such a good boss. Is she pretty? 你真是好老板，她漂亮吗？Answer faster. Answer faster. 快点回答，快点回答- I don't know. - Answer better. Answer better. -我不知道 -回答高明点，回答高明点I don't think of her that way. I mean, she's a colleague. 我没有那样想过她我是说，她是我同事- What does she do there? - She's regional vice president. -她在那边是做什么的？ -她是区域副总- She's just below me. - She did what? -她在我下面 -她什么？Below me. 她的职务在我下面Wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma? 等一下，温蒂是那个奥克拉荷马小姐选美第二名吗？What?! 什么！Well, she didn't win. 嗯，她又没有赢得后冠All right, maybe I should let you.. 好了，或许我应该让你…and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work. 跟奥克拉荷马第二漂亮的女生回去工作了Second prettiest that year. Of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably..那一年第二漂亮的，以奥克拉荷马全部的女生来说，她或许…Chandler, stop talking. 钱德，快闭嘴Honey, there's really nothing to worry about. 亲爱的，根本没有什么需要担心的- Okay. - I'm serious. -好的 -我是说真的Okay. 好的- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. -圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐- Merry Christmas, you guys. - Merry Christmas. -你们大家圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐- The wife says hi. - Fun conversation? -我老婆打招呼 -谈得愉快吗？Well, she's just got this weird idea that.. 嗯，她有一种奇怪的想法认为…because you and I are alone something's gonna happen. 因为我们两个单独在一起所以有事情会发生Really? 真的吗？Would that be so terrible? 那样很糟糕吗？This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about.. 我或许担心得不对…but you're getting ham on my only tie. 但是你把火腿沾上我唯一的领带了- Back off, missy! - Missy? -走开，小妞！ -小妞？I don't know. I'm not used to girls making passes at me. 我不知道，我不习惯女孩子对我采取行动Wait a minute. Am I sexy in Oklahoma? 等一下，我在奥克拉荷马算是性感的吗？- You are to me. - No. No. No! -你对我是的 -不不，不！- Look, I'm married. - So? I'm married. -听着，我已经结婚了 -那又如何？我也结婚了I'm happily married. 我的婚姻很幸福What's that like? 那是什么样的感觉呢？- Right. So I'm sorry, but.. - Seriously? Happily married? -是的，所以我很抱歉，但是… -真的？婚姻很幸福？So that phone call before, that was happy? 所以刚才那通电话叫做幸福？Well, look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart. 你知道，长期分开是很不容易的She's entitled to be a little paranoid. 她是有资格有点神经质的…Or, in this case, right on the money. 而且针对这件事她猜对了You know, she's amazing and beautiful and smart. 她很好、漂亮又聪明…And if she were here right now, she'd kick your ass. 而且如果她现在在这里她一定会海扁你一顿的Look, you're a really nice person, ham-stealing and adultery aside. 听着，你是个很好人除了会偷火腿跟偷腥之外But what I have with my wife is pretty great. 但是我跟我老婆的感情很好So nothing's ever gonna happen between us. 所以我们之间是不可能的Okay, let me ask you something. 好的，让我问你一件事If what you and your wife have is so great.. 如果你跟你老婆感情很好…then why are you spending Christmas with me? 那你怎么会跟我一起过圣诞节呢？You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. 今晚你是这屋子里最漂亮的女人- Really? - Are you kidding? -真的吗？ -你不相信吗？You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms. 在大部分的屋子里你都是最漂亮的女人What's going on? You and I just made out. 这是怎么回事？我们刚刚亲吻了- You and I are making out? - Well, not anymore. -我们在亲吻？ -嗯，以后不会有了- But we don't do that. - I know. I just thought it would be fun. -但是我们俩从来不会那样的 -我知道，我只是觉得那可能会很好玩- How drunk are you? - Drunk enough that I wanna do this. -你有多醉呢？ -我醉到让我想要这样做…Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. 但又没有醉到让你觉得占我便宜是有罪恶感的That's a perfect amount. 真是醉到恰到好处- You know what's weird? - What? -你知道什么很奇怪吗？ -什么？- This doesn't feel weird. - I know. -就是这感觉一点都不怪 -我知道- You're a really good kisser. - Well, I have kissed over four women. -你真是接吻高手 -嗯，我吻过超过四个女人You wanna get under the covers? Okay. 你想要到棉被底下吗？Wow, you are really fast. 哇，你真快It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. 速度会得到你的赞赏对我来说是好兆头- We're gonna see each other naked. - Yep. -我们将要看到彼此裸体了 -是的- You want to do it at the same time? - Count of three? -你想要一起看吗？ -数到三？- One. - Two. -一 -二Three. 三Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. 我想我可以很肯定的说我们的友情已经完全被摧毁了We weren't that close anyway. 反正我们本来也没有很好Are you really gonna go out with that nurse-man? 你真的要跟那个男护士出去吗？Well, you and I are just goofing around. 嗯，反正你跟我只是玩玩而已I thought, why not just goof around with him? 所以我想，我也可以跟他玩玩I don't know if you've ever looked up "goofing around" in the dictionary.我不知道你有没有查过字典 “玩玩”是什么意思Well, I have. 我有查过…And the technical definition is two friends.. 专业的解释就是两个朋友…who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex.. 很在乎彼此然后又做了很棒的爱…and just want to spend more time together. 而且想要花更多的时间在一起If you have this newfangled dictionary that gets you mad at me.. 如果你那新版的字典让你对我生气…then we have to, you know, get you my original dictionary. 那我们就只好帮你买我这本原版的字典I am so bad at this. 我真是不会说话I think you're better than you think you are. 我认为你比你想的还棒- Really? Okay. So if..? - Know when to stop. -真的吗？好的，所以如果…？ -知道什么时候该停I sensed that I should stop. 我感觉到我应该停了- So we're okay? - Yeah. -所以我们没事了吗？ -是的- Don't do the dance. - Right. -别跳那个舞 -好的I can't get married without something old, something new.. 我没有什么旧的、什么新的什么借来的、什么蓝色的…- something borrowed, something blue. - Okay, okay. -就没有办法结婚（美国习俗） -好的，好的Here's something blue and new. 这是蓝色的，而且是新的You are so efficient. I love you. 你真是有效率，我爱你- Let's go. - No, no, wait! -我们走吧 -不不，等一下We need something old. 我们需要什么旧的东西Okay. I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12. 好的，我有个保险套我从十二岁就放在钱包里了That'll work! 那就可以拿来用了！I don't think so. 我可不认为Okay. Now we just need something borrowed. 好了，现在我们需要一个借来的东西- Here, just take this. - That's stealing. -这个，拿去 -这是偷窃的We'll bring it back. Just put it under your dress. 我们会归还的，塞到你洋装里Okay, one thing at a time. 好了，事情一件一件照步骤来Listen.. 听着…I've been thinking. 我一直在想It's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding.我要求把你所有的积蓄花在我们的婚礼上，是很不公平的事I mean, you work.. You work really hard for that. 我是说，你工作… 你辛苦工作才存到的- Well.. - Well, you work for that. -嗯… -好了，工作存到的Look, I've thought about it too. And.. 听着，我也有想过，而且…I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. 我很抱歉我想我们应该将所有钱花在婚礼上- You do? - Yeah. I'm putting my foot down. -你真的觉得吗？ -是的，我彻底的想清楚了…Yeah, look, when I proposed.. 听着，当我求婚的时候…I told you that I would do anything to make you happy. 我告诉你我会尽一切能力让你快乐And if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then.. 而如果一个完美的婚礼能够让你快乐，那么…Then that's what we're gonna do. 那就是我们必须要做的是You are so sweet. 你真的好贴心But wait. What about our..? What about the future and stuff? 但是等一下，那我们…？那我们将来的计划呢？Forget about the future and stuff. So we only have two kids. 管他什么将来的计划我们只生两个小孩就好了You know, we'll pick our favorite, and that one will get to go to college.然后我们再挑选我们喜欢的那一个送他去念大学就好了- You've thought about that? - Yeah. -你有想过我们的将来吗？ -有啊- How many kids were we gonna have? - Four. A boy, twin girls.. -我们要生几个小孩呢？ -四个，一个男生，双胞胎女生…and another boy. 然后再一个男生- What else did you think about? - Well.. -你还有想过什么呢？ -嗯…stuff like where we'd live, you know. 像是我们要住的地方，你知道的Like a small place outside the city where our kids could ride bikes and stuff.在市中心外面的小房子我们的孩子可以学习骑脚踏车And we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar.. 我们可以养只猫，颈圈上有个铃铛…and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door.然后每次它经过小猫咪门的时候我们就可以听到铃铛声We'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.我们会在车库上面留一间房间让乔伊可以在那里养老You know what? 你知道吗？I don't.. I don't want a big, fancy wedding. 我不需要大型豪华的婚礼了- Sure you do. - No. -你当然需要 -不I want everything that you've just said. 我想要你刚刚说的一切I want a marriage. 我只想要结婚You sure? 你确定吗？- I love you so much. - I love you. -我好爱你 -我爱你- I love it! - Really? You're not gonna return it? -我太喜欢了！ -真的吗？你不会拿回去退吗？Well, not this second. 嗯，不会马上Hey, look, you guys. It's snowing! 嘿，你们瞧，下雪了- Wow, it's so beautiful. - Wow, it really is. -哇，真漂亮 -哇，真的是Wendy's a fat-girl name. 温蒂是胖女生的名字Aren't we done with that? 我们还没有说够吗？Okay, fine. Fine. Let's talk about snow. 好啦，不说了我们来聊雪Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa where my husband's having sex on a copier?你们觉得我老公在影印机上面做爱的那个土尔沙有在下雪吗？- Hey. - Oh, my God. -嘿 -喔！我的天！Look at that. That's a Christmas miracle! 瞧瞧这，这真是圣诞奇迹！- What are you doing here? - I wanted to be with you. -你在这里做什么呢？ -我想要跟你在一起I missed you so much. 我好想你- Hey, hey. Who'd you miss the most? - Monica. -嘿，你最想念谁呢？ -摩妮卡Gotcha. 知道了- I never want to leave you again. - I thought if you left, you'd get fired. -我再也不要离开你了 -我以为如果你走了会被炒鱿鱼的Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit. 他们没有办法炒我鱿鱼的因为我不干了- What? - What? You..? You really quit your job? -什么？ -什么？你？你真的辞职了？Yeah. It was a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. 是的，那是份愚蠢的工作而我无法忍受离开你Why should I be the only one who doesn't do what he really wants to do?我为什么要当那个唯一必须做他不想要做的事的人？- Well, what do you really wanna do? - I have not thought this through. -那你真的想做什么呢？-这件事我没想清楚- Oh, my God. - I know. I should've talked to you first. -喔！我的天！ -我知道，我应该先跟你讨论的No, I think that this is what you wanna do. I think it's great! 不，我想如果这是你想要的我认为这很棒！Thanks. 谢谢Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could ever imagine.钱德，你能够在这里是我有过最棒的圣诞礼物了- Now give me my real gift. - Yeah. -现在给我真正的礼物 -好- Thank you. - Here, pass those around. -谢谢 -这里，分给大家"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."“一项捐款已经以您的名义捐赠给纽约市立芭蕾舞团”How did you know? 你怎么会知道我要这个呢？What? Are you kidding? I can't return this. 什么？你在开玩笑吗？我不能退还这个的It's time we started thinking about other people. 该是我们关怀别人的时候了And besides, this gift still says, "I love you guys." 除此之外，这份礼物还包含了 “我爱你们”- Mine says, "To Lillian Myers." - I don't have a job. -我的上面写“给莉莉安迈尔” -我可是失业了Actuary? No. 精算师？不Bookkeeper? No. 簿记员？不Topless dancer? 上空舞者？Hey, you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner.嗨，你知道我刚刚才想通什么吗？你是家里唯一收入来源You are the head of the household. I don't do anything. I'm a kept man! 你是这个家的户长我什么都没做，我是被供养的小白脸！You are. 没错Honey, here's 20 bucks. 亲爱的，这里有二十块Go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow. 我明天去上班的时候你去买一些漂亮的东西。

《老友记》-口语积累-第二季第十七集原剧摘录，非常地道的日常英语口语表达。

check this out：快看原句：Look, check this out.nice pillow：漂亮的枕头get it：明白show sb：带某人去参观/给某人展示...原句：So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?all out of：全部卖完原句：I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece.freak out：崩溃/生气原句：OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK？not done yet：没说完原句：I'm not done yet, OK.make an album：制作一个专辑blow drying：吹头发over an hour：一个多小时All yours：轮到你了get your butt out of：从某处出来原句：Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.make it over：到某处原句：I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.call and say hey：随便聊聊原句：Yeah I just wanted to call and say hey.time alone with：有时间做某事turn out：结果原句：I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, you know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.hurt sb bad：伤透某人的心原句：I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.move on：向前走原句：Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too. leave a number：留电话原句：Did she leave a number?not be such a baby：别甩小孩子脾气原句：Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.get off my back：别烦我get out of my face：别碍眼pick up mail：取回信件mean to sb：嘲弄某人。

-What you guys doing? -Monica's making us watch Old Yeller. 你们在干嘛？摩妮卡逼我们看“老黄狗”Why are you guys upset? It's Old Yeller. It's a happy movie. 那你们在伤心什么？这是一部快乐的电影啊-What? -What are you talking about? 什么？你在胡扯什么？Come on. Happy family gets a dog. 少来了，快乐家庭养了一只狗Frontier fun! 荒野之乐Pheebs, what about the end? 对呀，但是结局呢？When Yeller saves the family and everyone's happy? 是老黄救全家人于狼口之中大家皆大欢喜That's not the end. 那不是结局That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say, "The end." 才是呢，我妈会在那个时候关掉电视说已结束了What about when he has rabies? 那它生狂犬病的情节呢？He doesn't have rabies. He has babies. 它没有生狂犬病它生了小宝宝That's what my mom said. 我妈说的I don't think she'd want you to see what's about to happen. 菲比，我猜你妈不想你看接下来的剧情Why? What's about to happen? 为什么？接下来怎么样？I've never seen this part. 这部份我从没看过Hey, Travis, what you doing with that gun? 崔维，你拿枪干什么？Oh, no. 不…No, no, Travis, put down the gun. 崔维，把枪放下来No, no, he's your buddy. He's your Yeller. 不要…它是你的伙伴是你的老黄No! The end! The end! 不…剧终…Okay, what kind of a sick doggy snuff film is this? 这算什么病态的狗电影？Okay, what kind of a sick doggy snuff film is this? The One Where Old Yeller DiesOkay, what kind of a sick doggy snuff film is this? 六人行第2季第20集猎狗之死Have you guys eaten? Richard and l just finished, and we've got leftovers.你们吃过了吗？我跟理查刚吃过，我们还有剩菜Chicken and potatoes. 鸡肉跟马铃薯What am I wearing? 我穿什么？Actually, nothing but rubber gloves. 事实上，塑胶手套而已One of these times, you'll really be naked and we won't come over. 有一天你会真的一丝不挂而我们却不会过来了I got a leg, three breasts and a wing. 我有条腿，三块胸跟一根翅膀How do you find clothes that fit? 那你怎么找得到衣服穿？Hey, Monica? We got a question. 摩妮卡，我们有问题All right, yes, I see other women in the shower at the gym. 好吧，再说一遍，对，我在健身房浴室会看到别的女人And no, I don't look. 不，我目不斜视No, not that one. 不，不是那个We're figuring out who to bring to the Nicks game. 我们在想今晚带谁去看尼克队赛球，我们多了一张票Ross can't go, so it's between my friend Eric Prower, who has breath issues...对，罗斯不能去，所以要嘛就是我朋友包艾力，他有口臭...and Dan, with the poking. "Did you see that play?" …或是丹，他爱戳人 “你看到了吗？”"You want more beer? Is that Spike Lee?" “还要啤酒吗？” “那是史派克李吗？”Why don't you ask Richard? 为什么不问理查？Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Nicks game... 理查，如果你有多一张尼克队球赛的票…...and you had to choose between a friend who smelled... …而你必须从有口臭…...and one who bruises you, who would you pick? …跟会戳人的朋友当中选你会选谁？Being a huge Nicks fan myself... 对一个大尼克迷来说…... I think you should take someone who's a huge Nicks fan. …我想你们应该选一个大尼克迷That's Eric. 那就艾力好了Glad to be of help. Matches. 乐意效劳，不客气I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? 我是说你们为什么不请理查去？What? 怎么样？-I don't know. -Come on! 我不知道少来了He keeps his fingers to himself, and he's always minty fresh. 他从来不会乱指乱戳口气永远芳香自然Richard's really nice. We just don't know him really well. 理查他这个人真的很好啦只是我们跟他不是很熟Plus, he's old 加上他又老…er than some people. …对某些人来说But younger than some buildings. 但他比某些建筑要年轻一点So what, he's a little older. Big deal. 他老一点又怎么样？He's important to me. 他对我而言是很重要的If you ask him, he might take you in his Jag. 你们问他的话他或许会开积架车去哦How do we say yes... 我们要怎么说…...and make it seem like it's not just to ride in the cool car? …才不会听起来像为了要搭他的酷车才邀请他去Okay, this could be tough. 这有点棘手We'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar. 他如果开积架车来我们才会带他去You almost had it. 你差点办到了No, no, you're fine. You're fine. 不…你没问题…Hi, honey. 亲爱的You are not gonna believe what happened! 你们一定不会相信发生了什么事We were playing on the floor, and he grabs the table... 我们坐在那边地板上玩他抓住了桌子…...and he pulls himself up! …把自己拉起来了He pulled himself up! 他把自己拉起来了Standing man! 他会站I'm sorry you missed it, but I did tape it if you wanna see it. 很遗撼你们错过，但我录下来了，你们要看的话…We know. He already did it last week. 我们知道，他上个礼拜就会了You can watch our tape if you want. 你可以看我们的带子See, I don't believe this. I missed the first time of everything. 我真不敢相信我错过每个第一次了The first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. 我错过他第一次翻身他第一次爬What else? Has he spoken? Is he driving? 我还错过了什么？他说话了吗？会开车了吗？Does he have a favorite liqueur? 他有偏好的甜酒吗？He is getting closer on the talking thing. 他好像也快要会说话了He can't quite say "mama" yet, but once he said "Yemen." 他还不会说妈妈可是有一次他说“叶门”See, I don't know. I'm so sick of missing stuff. 我受不了老是错过I want him for more than a day. I want him for a whole weekend. 我不要只照顾他一天而已我要他一整个周末Listen. I feel 你听着，我是说我觉得…That would be great. 没问题Really? I had a whole speech prepared. 真的？我正准备要大发议论Oh, shoot, that would've been fun. 讨厌，那会很好玩的Did you just see that? 你们看到了吗？Did you see? He just waved! He just waved! 他刚刚挥手…He's never waved before! 他从来没有挥过手Yes, he has. Very good. 他挥过？好极了What you got there? 菲菲，那是什么？Love Story, Brian's Song and Terms of Endearment. “爱的故事”“布莱恩之歌” 还有“亲密关系”All you need now is The Killing Fields and guacamole, and you got a party!现在只缺“杀戳战场” 跟一些鹗季酱你就可以狂欢了I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident... 对呀，我跟我奶奶讲了那个“老黄狗”那件事…...and she said my mom used to not show us the ends of sadmovies... …她说我妈总是不让我们看那种悲伤电影的结局…...to shield us from the pain and sadness. …好让我们不用痛苦伤心You know, before she killed herself. 在她自杀之前Where's Richard? Did you ditch him? 他人呢？理查呢？你们甩了他吗？After we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. 对，在抢了他的午餐钱还有拉了他内裤之后What's the matter? He's parking the car. 你这人怎么搞的？他在停车-Did you guys have fun? -Your boyfriend is so cool. 那你们玩得开心吗？你的男朋友真的好酷He let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks. Me for 15. 对，他让我们开他的车乔伊12条街，我15条街He must like you best. 他一定最喜欢你What about when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats? 还有他给那个帮我们带位的人小费那件事You never even saw the money. 他连多少都没看，就像这样Hey, Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats. 钱德，谢谢你帮我们带位不用客气You're welcome. Hey, Joey, thanks for parking the car. 乔伊，谢谢你帮我停车No problem. 没问题-Hey, Chandler -I think they get it. 钱德… 我想她们懂了There's the man! 他来了Hey, you're getting better. 你越来越行了I'm gonna keep this. 对了，我要留着这个He kept my dollar. 他留下我的钱Your first weekend without Ben. What are you doing? 第一个没有班的周末你们两个要做什么？We're going to colonial Williamsburg. 我们要南下去威廉斯堡玩A woman I went to college with is the first female blacksmith there. 对，我大学一个女同学刚成为那里第一个女铁匠They're a little behind the times in colonial Williamsburg. 威廉斯堡那边是有点落伍了Look, I better go before Mommy starts weeping. 好吧我们最好在掉眼泪之前走了-We love you. -Bye, Mommy. 我们爱你再见，妈咪Have a good time. 好好玩Look. 看Joey, do you know we can see you from here? 乔伊你知道我们看得到你吗？How come Richard looks cooler with one of these? 为什么理查抽起这个比我酷那么多？You may wanna light it and lose the spatula. 首先，你或许要先点燃还有放下那支锅铲It's cute, you trying to be more like Richard. 你想模仿理查，我觉得很可爱Not like him, per se. 也不是这样Just not unlike him. 只是不要不像他It's the artist formerly known as Chandler. 看，是以前叫钱德的那个艺术家I'm just trying something here, you know? 我不过是想试试看Why didn't you grow a mustache? 乔伊，你为什么不留胡子？We flipped for it. 我们丢铜板I got the cigar, he got the mustache. 我丢到抽雪茄，他丢到留胡子If we both grew them, we'd look like dorks. 我想我们都留的话会有点驴啦You really sidestepped that land mine. 是呀，你们真的躲过那一劫了I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs. 我们得走了我答应理查在楼下见You're meeting Richard? 你们要见理查？-Ranger game. -Didn't he tell you? 对，我们要去看曲棍球赛对，他没告诉你吗？He said he was going out with the guys. I didn't know that was you. 他告诉我他跟男人出去我只是不知道男人是你们You hear that? 你听到了吗？We're the guys! 我们是男人With that mustache, he reminds me of Aunt Sylvia. 钱德留那胡子像不像西维亚姑妈？Thank you! 谢谢Thank you! 中央公园Hi. We're visiting. 我们来拜访It's Ben and his dada. 是小班跟他爹爹Can you say "dada"? 爹爹，你会说“爹爹”吗？I'm telling your mommies you said it, so you might as well. 你妈咪们说你说了，你试试啊No luck, huh? 运气不好？A while ago, I got a "seh" out of him... 不好，不久以前他发了一个“二”的音...which I thought might turn into "seh-condary caregiver," but.... 我想那也可以勉强说是二褓姆的意思…Would you hold him for a sec? I gotta take this off. 帮我抱一下，好吗？我得把这个拿下来Sure. Okay. 好的What are you doing? 你在干什么？I'm holding Ben. 我在抱班啊He's a baby, not a bomb. 对，他是个婴儿，不是炸弹Hold him like you'd hold a football. 你可以像抱足球那样抱他This is how I would hold a football. 我就是这样抱足球的Here. Here. There we go. 来…好了Sorry, I'm not very good with babies. I haven't been around them. 对不起，我不太会带孩子我是说，我没接触过他们I mean, you know, since I was one. 从我长大以后啦-It's all right. No big deal. -Really? 没关系，没什么大不了的真的？I'm sure you'll feel different when it's our baby. 我相信如果他是我们的宝宝会让你完全改观-What? -What? 什么？什么？You think about stuff like that? 你想那一类的事？Yeah. I mean.... 对，我是说…Actually, I kind of think that we'll have two babies. 事实上，我想我们会有有两个宝宝Two babies? 两个宝宝？You know, a boy and a girl. 对，一男一女Hopefully, the girl will come first, so Ben won't feel competitive. 我希望先生女的，所以小班不会觉得有太大的竞争Then what's gonna happen? 那接下来呢？We won't wanna raise kids in the city, so we'll move to Scarsdale.我们不希望孩子在城市里长大所以我们或许会搬到史卡戴We'll be far enough from our parents so we don't have to see them...我们会住得离我们的父母够远所以不用常常看到他们…... but close enough that they can baby-sit. …但又不会太远所以随时可以请他们来带小孩And yes, I know the taxes are a little higher than Nassau County... 没错，我知道那里的税是比那梭郡要高一点…... but the school system's great. …但学校制度据说非常非常棒Wow, that's great! Great! 太棒了…Okay, wow! You know what? 你知道吗？I'm off my break now. 我休息完了Here. You take this. 所以你拿着I'm gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. 我要去帮这些好人倒咖啡了Look at that. I don't have a pot. 你瞧瞧，我没有咖啡壶I don't have a pot. Maybe I've got one at home. 或许我家里有一个Or in Scarsdale. Hey, is that a door? 或是史卡戴，那是门吗？Hey, Pheebs. What's happening? 菲菲，怎么了？Murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes. 谋杀，癌症足球队在安地斯山脉吃来吃去So you watched the movies? 你看了电影了？What is happening to the world? 这个世界到底怎么了？I mean.... No, no, because E.T. Ieaves... 我是说，因为ET走了…...and Rocky loses. Charlotte dies. …洛基输了，夏绿蒂死了Charlotte who? 哪个夏绿蒂？With the web. The spider. 跟蛛网，那只蜘蛛She dies. She has babies and dies. 它死了，它生了宝宝后就死了It's like, "Welcome home from the hospital." Thud! 那就像…“欢迎从医院回来”You wanna feel better? 想不想舒服一点？Here. Watch this. 来，看这个It's a Wonderful Life. I've heard of this. “人生真美妙”这个我听说过So you can't lose. It's there in the title. 所以没问题，片名说明了一切Wonderfulness is baked right in. 包你美妙得不得了I fell for that with Pride of the Yankees. 拜托，我差点就被 “北方佬的骄傲”给骗了I thought I'd see a film about Yankee pride. 我以为我要看的是关于“北方佬的骄傲”And boom! The guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease. 然后… 那个傢伙得了路葛瑞症The guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kind of see it coming? 那个傢伙叫路葛瑞你没预感吗？Watch that. It'll restore all your faith in humanity. 你看就是了，我保证能让你恢复对人类的信心Hey, big guy. Game time. 大个儿，球赛时间到了-Hey! Be right there! -There's a game? 好，马上来有球赛I just got my Pik-Up Stiks back from the shop. 对，我刚从店里拿了棍子玩具回来Bring your nerves of steel. 带着你的铁胆来It's the basketball playoffs. 是篮球决赛I appreciate this, but you don't have to hang out with them for me. 亲爱的，我不喜欢你这样但是你不用为了我跟他们混They have each other. 反正他们两个可以做伴Oh, no, honey. I mean, don't worry. 不，亲爱的，别担心I like hanging out with them. They're different than my other friends.我很喜欢跟他们混，很好玩他们跟我别的朋友不同They don't start sentences with "You know who just died shoveling snow?"他们不会一见面就说 “你知道谁铲雪时死了吗？”All right, that's great. Then just go. 好吧，那就去吧Go Nicks! 加油，尼克队It's the college playoffs. 是大学篮球决赛-Then, go Vassar! -They're not in it. 加油，瓦萨他们没比Okay, then just go. 那加油吧Why does this bother me so much? 我为什么要那么在意呢？I'm not one of those people who wants to spend 24 hours a day together.我并不想当那种要男友 24小时都跟她们在一起的人Sure. 对呀He just doesn't have much free time. What do I do? 只是他空闲的时间不多我不知道，我到底该怎么办？Does it matter? You'll just die or divorce or blow your pet's head off. 有关系吗？你始终都会死或离婚，或枪杀你的宠物Me too! 我也是Rachel, I got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys 瑞秋，我有个问题理查又跟他们做计划了…Ross made plans for the century. 对，罗斯刚计划了整个世纪I'm gonna go read Cosmo. Maybe there's something helpful in it. 我想我要回房去看杂志了或许会读到什么有用的If not, I can learn how to do a bikini wax with leftover Christmas candles. 不然至少可以学会怎样用圣诞树剩下的蜡烛除毛What happened back there? 你刚刚是怎么回事？I don't know. You tell me. 不知道，你告诉我吧One minute I'm holding Ben, then I've got two kids... 我刚刚还像抱足球一样抱着班接下来我就有两个孩子…... I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about taxes! …住在史卡戴，抱怨着税太高Well, I'm sorry. I think about stuff. 那抱歉，我就是爱东想西想You're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders. 我是说，工作的时候一边弄骨头就会一边乱想嘛You've planned out the next 20 years. We've dated for six weeks!你计划了我们往后二十年生活我们才在一起六周You never think about our future? 你从不想未来的事吗？I think about whose apartment we'll sleep at tomorrow... 想，但我想的是我们明晚住谁那边好…...and where we'll have dinner next Saturday! …下个礼拜六晚上我们去哪里吃晚饭I do not think about our children's names! 我不会去想我们的孩子会叫什么名字You know what our children's names will be? 你知道我们的孩子会叫什么名字？No, I mean, you know. I read a book, and there was a girl named Emily.不…我…我是说我看到一本书里头有个女孩叫蜜莉And I thought that might be good. 我觉得…我觉得还不错What book? 哪一本书？The Big Book of Children's Names. “儿童命名大观”Okay, listen. 你听着What we have is amazing. 我们在一起很棒But I do not want everything decided for me! 但我不要别人为我决定好一切I spent my whole life like that. 我那样过一辈子了It's what I had with Barry. That's a reason I left. 我跟贝利就是那样那是我离开的原因之一I like not knowing right now. 我喜欢有未知Sorry if that scares you, but if you wanna be with me, deal with that!如果那样吓着了你，那很抱歉但若你要跟我在一起就接受吧-Okay, fine! -Thank you! 好，很好谢谢-We're not done! -I didn't know that. 还没完呢那我不知道You're with a guy who won't stop planning his future with you. 跟你在一起的人不会停止去计划他跟你的未来He knows we'll end up together. 因为他知道我们最后会在一起If that scares you, tough! You'll have to deal with that. 如果你害怕了，很不幸因为你必须学会接受-I will! -Good, because I love you! 很好，我会的好，因为我爱你Oh, yeah? I love you too! 是吗？我也爱你-That's the first time we've said that! -Yes, it is! 我们第一次互相说我爱你没错-I'm gonna kiss you! -You better! 那我就要亲你了最好是这样Thanks for the great movie tip. 谢谢你给我的建议-Did you like it? -Oh, yeah. 你喜欢吗？喜欢I don't know if I was happier when George Bailey destroyed the business... 我不知道我是该在贝乔治毁了家庭事业之后…...or Donna Reed cried or when the pharmacist made his earbleed. …还是在李唐娜哭是在药剂师害他耳朵流血时会比较快乐I'll give you the ear thing, but wasn't the ending wonderful? 好吧，我选耳朵流血你不觉得结局满好的吗？I didn't watch it. I was too depressed. 结局我根本就没看我太沮丧了It kept getting worse! It should've been called: 剧情越来越叫人家失望这片子应该叫："It's a Sucky Life, And Just When You Think It Can't Suck Anymore, It Does!"“人生真衰就在你觉得无法更衰时，它更衰”IKick, save! And... 我踢球…...denied! …接住He gets it back. Pass to the middle, lines it up.... 但他抢回来，传到中间然后准备踢，碰…Yes! 太棒了！Could that shot be any prettier? 那球还可以踢得更漂亮吗？Man, you are incredible. 老兄，你真厉害We had a table in college. 我们大学时也有这玩意儿Really? I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800s. 我不晓得 1800年也有桌上足球Nice mustache. At puberty, that thing will really kick in. 对了，你的胡子不错青春期一到就会茂盛起来Not to sound too Florence Henderson, but dinner's on the table. 我也不想太像个好太太但晚餐做好了One more point. 再玩一下Score! 得分Now can we go? 可以走了吗？That's why we don't let her play. 看吧，所以我们才不让她玩Is everything all right? 一切都还好吧？Don't be mad at him. It's our fault. 听我说，别跟他生气是我们的错I'm sorry we've been hogging his time. 我们占了他太多时间了He's just really great to hang out with. 是呀，跟他真的是很棒-Well.... -No, seriously. 这个嘛… 不…说真的We just talked about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. 我跟钱德刚才还在说他比我们的爸爸酷多了Our dads are okay and all, but Richard is just 我是说我们爸爸是还好啦可是理查好…What are you kicking me for? 你踢我干什么？I'm trying to talk here. 我正在讲话，你…You guys see me as a dad? 你们觉得我是父字辈的？-Oh, yeah! -No! 对呀不You're just clearly not familiar with our young persons' vernacular. 你很显然不了解我们年轻人的用语When we say "dad," we mean "buddy." 我们“爸爸”的意思是指兄弟We mean "pal." 是“伙伴”的意思No, seriously. Joey's my dad. 我说真的，乔伊他是我爸Monica's my dad. 摩妮卡也是我爸I've even got some dads down at work. 我们公司里还有一些我爸爸That's fine. 没问题Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening. 你们的另外一个爸爸跟我要去有一个浪漫的夜晚了I'll just see you kids around. 孩子们，我们改天见了Nighty-night. 晚安了You're not a dad! 你不是一个爸I can't believe you got us into trouble. 真不敢相信你干的好事So are you okay? 你还好吗？Just... 很好…... I feel like I'm about a hundred. …我只是觉得自己好老I thought I was just one of the guys. 我还以为我跟他们一样Come here. 过来I'll make you feel like one of the guys. 我会让你觉得你跟他们一样For a really cool guy, you suck at foosball. 对一个很酷的人来说你的足球烂透了I was killing them. 我痛宰了他们Yeah, well they suck too. 他们也很烂You take the poopy diaper and put it in the poopy diaper pail. 对，然后你把有便便的尿布丢到便便尿布桶里去Calling it a "poopy diaper" doesn't make this process any cuter. 美其名为便便尿布并不会让这个过程更可爱-It's us. -Come on up. 是我们上来吧I'll get his stuff together. 我去准备他其他的东西Okay, we can do this now, can't we, Ben? 我们做得到的，是不是，班？Yes, we can. 对，我们可以Yes, we can. 对，我们可以There! I did it! 好了I did it! 我换好了Look at that! 你瞧瞧It stays on and everything. 紧紧的包在屁屁上I'm sorry. What did you just say? Did you just say "hi"? 对不起，你刚刚说什么？你刚刚说“嗨”啊？Oh, my God! Ross? Ben just said hi! 天啊，罗斯… 班刚说“嗨”耶-What? -Ben just said hi! 什么？班刚说“嗨”What, the word "hi"? 什么？嗨那个字？No, my Uncle Hi. 不，我的嗨舅舅Great! And I missed that too. I miss everything! 棒透了，我也错过了我错过一切了Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I just bring it out in him. 我猜我太有魅力了-Where is he? -We missed you. 他在哪里？我们想你We missed you so much! Come here, Ben. 我们好想你过来，班Guess what? Ben just said his first word. 你们猜，班刚说了哪个字？What did he say? 他说什么了？Something about hi. 什么嗨不嗨的That's so exciting! Mommy's so proud of you! 真是令人兴奋妈咪好骄傲哦You know, actually, it's more like, hi! 事实上比较像这样，“嗨”This could go on for a while. 这可能要玩很久You're right. We've got a cab waiting. 计程车还在楼下等我们呢Well, this was fun. 这真好玩好的We should do it again sometime, Ben. What do you say? 我们改天一定还要这样子班，你说怎么样呢？-All right, so I've got him...? -Tuesday. 好吧，下一次是… 礼拜二Bye, you guys. 再见了-Take care. -Bye, Ben. 保重拜，班Did he just say "bye"? 他刚刚…他…他刚刚说拜吗？He said bye! 他说拜…You said bye! He said bye to me! 你对我说拜，他对我说拜Yes, he did! 没错Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college! 我已经可以幻想他去上大学了We've gotta go. We've got that cab downstairs. 我们得走了，计程车在楼下等See you later. 拜拜…Look at this nice deep hole I dug. Hey, Bert... 我看挖的这个洞好深柏特…...isn't this a nice hole here? …这洞是不是挖得很好？Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him.班，这是在演厄尼把柏特埋在沙里头，然后找不到他Now, I've looked ahead on the tape, and he does find him again. 现在，我已经先看过了他后来有找到他But before that happens, there's some rough going for a while. 可是，在那之前呢会先有一些让人很难受的But I think we can handle it. 可是我想我们挺得住And there's just the alphabet, but we know that ends well, so.... 这些只是…只是字母而已可是我知道结局会很好的…Here we go. 好，继续了Bert? Bert? 柏特？… 他刚刚还在这里What happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. 我的朋友柏特怎么了？Oh, no! My old friend Bert is lost. 不，柏特不见了？I'm so glad you're here. 我真高兴你在这里。

That commercial always makes me so sad.Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him,so, everything seems to work out OK.I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.I can see that,'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin.And the fact that they're both monkeys.Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away.Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight.I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding. Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . .all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.Rhythm?No, my first fan mail.No, my first fan mail.'Dear Dr. Remore,..know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh.'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.'Ooh wait,'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment.There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.Oh my god,I got my very own stalker.Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?Well, there's this, uh, paleontology conference in L.A.so I figured I'd go and then drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel.You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh,you know, isn't capable of that emotion.Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story,OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh,I know, I know.I know, I know.- Hi. I'm Rob Dohnen.(Rob:Chris Isaac) - Hi Rob Dohnen.- I don't know anything about music, but I think you're really, really great. - Oh, wow. Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?Oh, I would love to have kids. . .you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.- Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?- Well we could just stay in and cook for ourselves.- Hello. - It's Erica.Ah, the stalker.Never mind, it's open.Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea.We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.Let's get out of here.The one time they're not home.OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs,she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met.That's how radio stars escape stalkers.She's comin'.It's me.Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die.- Ready? - Wait, wait, wait.- Ready? - Wait, wait, wait.- Hi.(Erica:Brooke Shields) - Erica.- Mr. Geller? - Hi.Dean Lipson, zoo administrator.I was told you had a question.Well, I uh, I can't seem to find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchan, answers to the name Marcel.Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news.Marcel has passed on.Oh my God, what happened?Well he got sick, and then he got sicker,and then he got a little betterbut then he died.I can't believe this.I'm sorry Mr. Geller. But ya know, there's an old saying,'Sometimes monkeys die.'It's not a great sayingbut it certainly is fitting today.Well, ya know, someone should have called me.I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture.Zoo dollars?Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats.Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.- Ooohhh. - I know.I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.- Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery? - Yeah.Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.And she's not crazy?Oh no no no, she's a total wack job.Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.Oh my God.Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living roomdoesn't mean she's not a person.I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love?What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.You OK?No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.That's not a good idea, that's kinda the reason the last guy got fired.I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups.Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing,ya know, and kids listen.This is a huge responsibility. What?Are you gonna kiss me?- I was thinkin' about it. - OK.OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes.- Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe. - Hi Phoebe.- Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe. - Hi Phoebe.I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK.Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...- Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing? - Yeah it is. . .what?Well, here we sit, devil may care,just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord.Yeah, that was a tricky one.In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites. Who's they?No one.Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands.Oh these hands, these beautiful hands,oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.Good, otherwise my watch would fall off.No, seriously.These hands. These miracle, magical, life-giving hands.Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one?Alright, just one.Wow, you're good at that.Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore.Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes.Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way.But, um, zoo dollars?It's about your monkey. It's alive.I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?- I should just be happy to be near you. - Hey I-Hey what?That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! Hey. He-hey.There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you... But don't.Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody!That's another thing that you don't wanna do.- Excellent! - Very informative!Not at all inappropriate!Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.That was great, the kids loved you.Yay, I rock.And you know why? Because you told the truth,and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible.But.How did you know there was a but?I sense these things. It was either but or butter.The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals.I can do that.- Really? - Yeah.Because that would be fantastic.What? You wanna kiss me?Thinkin' about it.Ahh, the bat. Ambassador of darkness,flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger, sightless spectre of the macabe.- Buddy, my monkey? - Oh, yeah, right.There was a break-in, few months back, inside job.Your monkey was taken.Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity.It's all a great big cover-up.Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?That guy Lipson?Lipson knows. Hmm, Lipson knows huh?Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum,enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with...Buddy, my monkey, my monkey.Word on the street - well,when I say street, I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo.Of course.Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.This is unbelievable.So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?Are you trying to get me to bribe you?Maybe.But you already told me everything.Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey.Well, so what're you gonna do?Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.- OK, hi again. - Hi Phoebe.Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals.Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!You're the only one who can save her Drake.Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.Well, there goes my whole belief system.It's Erica.Oh my God, quick turn off the TV.No no no, wait, I wanna see what happens.Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.Hey Erica, c'mon in.How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem?Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh?Who?Sabrina. I know about you two.I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.It's not what you think, that was...You told me I was the only one.Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright.Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.Oh my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?Somebody wanna help me out here?Oh, I know, I know.Where am I?University hospital.you have been in the hospital for 18 yearsHow, how can you be here and there.'Cause it's a television show.Drake, what're you getting at?I'm not Drake.That's right, he's not Drake,he's Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin.Is this true?Yes, yes it is true.And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me.And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't.And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard.Is all this true?Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica.You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with.Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.Oh Hans.Hans...Hans...You evil twin.Right. Goodbye Erica,good luck in Salem.Take careI'll never forget you Hans.- OK, alright, the people who threw the water.Fired! Why?The library board has had a lot of complaints from parents about some of the stuff in your songs.I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?I see.Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs.No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?- I'm not saying you have to be Barney. - Who's Barney.Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this, he's healthy, he's happy,and he's right here in New York filming Outbreak II - The Virus Takes Manhattan.You're kidding.- This is amazing. - I know.I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies.- OK, Rachel, I'm ready. - OK.Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?Um, yeah I guess that's me.She's here.Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men,and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please.I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?C'mon people, back up please, back up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.Uh, excuse me, uh, where can we find the monkey?- I'm sorry guys, closed set. - Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand,I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.Yeah, and I have a time share in the Pocanos with Flipper.Ross, there he is.Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel.In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight.In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight.a-weema-way, a-weema-way.....They won't take you to the vetapparently you are not their favourite petsmelly cat smelly catIt's not your faultWhat? sorry.Is there something wrong?You might want to pick a more masculine note.。

Mom, would you relax?That was 10 blocks from here, and she was walking alone at night.I would never do that.Mom, come on, stop worrying.This is a safe street. This is a safe building. There's nothingOh, my God! What are you doing in here?!Mom, I gotta go! IT gotta go!Oh, my God!That's fine, you just read the paper.I'm gonna get a pot.It's not for you.Okay, that's fine.Read the Family Circus......enjoy the gentle comedy....Oh, my God, my God, my God, my God....It's open, you guys.Can I help you?Does Phoebe still live here?No, she doesn't. But I can get a message to her.Great. Just tell her her husband stopped by.Her what?How did you do that?How did you do that?How did you do that?This is unbelievable, Pheebs. How can you be married?I'm not "married" married, you know?He's just a friend, and he's gay......and he was from Canada, and he needed a Green Card.I can't believe you married Duncan!How could you not tell me?We lived together, We told each other everything.I'm sorry, but I knew if I told you, you'd get judgmental......and wouldn't approve.Of course I wouldn't approve!You were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay.What the hell were you thinking?See? And you thought she'd be judgmental.I wasn't in love with him. I was helping out a friend.When he left town, you stayed in your pajamas for a month.And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.Well, didn't you?I might have.I can't believe you didn't tell me.Like you tell me everything?What have I not told you?I don't know.Umm,how about the fact that the underwear out thereon the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobbyout on the terrace.What?Wait a minute! Who told you?You are dead meat.I didn't know it was a big secret.Oh, it's not big. Not at all.IKind of the same as, say...... I don't know, having a third nipple!You have a third nipple?You bitch!Whip it out! Whip it out!There's nothing to see! It's a tiny bump. It's totally useless.As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?I can't believe you! You told me it was a nubbin.Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. -Let me see it again! -Yes, show us your nubbin!Joey was in a porno movie!If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me!-Oh, my God! -You were in a porno?!I was young and I just wanted a job.But the last time I couldn't go through with it.They let me be the guy who fixes the copier but can't......because there's people having sex on it.That is wild!-What's it shaped like? -ls it hairy?What happens if you flick it?So does it do anything, you know, special?Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance......to the magical land of Narnia.In some cultures, having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts, and women dance naked around you.Are any of these cultures, per chance, in the Tri-State area?You know, you are so amazing. Is there anything you don't know?Julie's so smart! Julie's so special!I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did.But he's with her now. You'll have to get over it.Oh, I'm going to have to get over it.I didn't know that's what I had to do. I just have to get over it.-Sassy lady! -Where are you going?I'm meeting Duncan. He's skating tonight at the Garden.He's in the Capades.-The lce Capades? -No, the Gravel Capades.The turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls? Funny.I can't believe you'd dress up for him.You're setting yourself up all over again.Okay, no.For your information, I'm seeing him so I can put those feelings behind me. The reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice......to look nice for your gay husband.Darn it, we're all out of milk.Chandler, will you fill me up here?I see, I see. Because of the third-nipple thing.Okay, sweetie, I'll see you later.-See you later, Rach. -Bye-bye, Julie.Come on, cut it out!-Can I ask you something? -Sure.What?Come on, talk to me.What's the longest you've been in a relationship before... ... having the sex?Why? Who's not? Are you and Julie not?Are you and Julie not having sex?Technically?No.Is it because she's so cold in bed?Or because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school? No! She's great. And it's not like we haven't done anything. We do plenty of other stuff. Lots of other stuff likeNo! Don't need to know the details.No, it's just....It's me.I've only been with one woman my whole life......and she turned out to be a lesbian.So now I've got myself all psyched out.It's become, like, this......this thing!You must just think I'm weird.No, I don't think it's weird.I think, in fact....-ln fact, you know what I think? -What?I think it's sexy.Sexy?Let me tell you something. As a woman......there is nothing sexier......than a man who does not want to have sex.No kidding?You know what I'd do?I'd wait.-You'd wait? -Absolutely. I would wait......and wait....Then I'd wait some more.Really?I don't care if she tells you she wants it, she begs, she pleads......she tells you she's gonna have sex with another manThat just means it's working.Women really want this?More than jewelry.Look at you! You look great!Do l? Thank you.So do you. Sparkly!This is pretty wonderful, Mr. Major Capades Guy!I remember when you were just King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice. You always said I'd make it.Well, you know, I'm kind of spooky that way.Gosh, I missed you!-I'm gonna get changed. -Okay.Now.Oh! Right. Okay.Ole!What?The Matador....Ole!Sweetie, can you hold this for a second?Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face.But it's gone now. You're all right.Hi, everyone.I wanted to thank you for our little talk before.No problem! So you're gonna go with the waiting thing?I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey. Good. What did he say?He told me to get over myself and just do it.I thought about what you said and about what he said. And his way, I get to have sex tonight, so....What is this in my pocket?Why, it's Joey's porno movie!Pop it in!I'm fine, if you're okay watching a video......filled with two-nippled people.People having sex. That's just what I need to see.What's wrong with people having sex?Well, you know, these movies are offensive......and degrading to women and females....And the lighting's always unflattering.-Monica, help me out here. -Hell, I wanna see Joey!So is there a story? Or do they just start doing it rightOh. Never mind.Wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen. All I say is, she'd better get the job.Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.Here I come.See, I'm coming to fix the copier.I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do?"So I just watch them have sex.Then I say Here's my line!You know, that's bad for the paper tray.Nice work, my friend!Wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me. There I am. There I am. There I am....So what's up? You came to see me yesterday.I kind of need a divorce.O...O...How come?Actually, I'm getting married again.What?I don't know how to tell you this.I'm straight.I don't understand. How can you be straight?You're so smart and funny......and you throw such great Academy Award parties!That's what I kept telling myself.But you reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.How long have you known?I guess on some level I always knew I was straight.I thought I was supposed to be something else.I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in. And there's actually a woman?Her name's Debra.Well, is she the first that you've been with?I've never told you this...... but there were one or two times back in college when...... I'd get drunk, go to a straight bar......and wake up with a woman next to me.I told myself it was the liquor, and everyone experiments in college. Sure.Now I know I don't have a choice. I was born this way!I don't know what to say.You're married to someone for six years and you think you know him. And then one day he says, "Oh, I'm not gay!"I'm still me.Why couldn't you just have figured this out six years ago?You know, it still smells like monkey in there.That saves us the conversation.This has been great, but I'm officially wiped.Me too. We should get going.No! Come on, you guys!Come on, it's only 1 1 :30.Let's just talk. We never just hang out and talk anymore. Rachel, that's all we do.Maybe that's all we do. What about Julie?What about Julie?You have been in our lives for nearly two months now... ...and we don't really know you.I mean, who is Julie?What do you like? What don't you like?We want to know everything.Well, that could take awhile.So?Who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?I got the time to get to know Julie.I know her pretty well. Can I go?That's fine.Let's start with your childhood. What was that like?In a nutshellSo, have you told your parents?No, but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool.My brother's straight, so....Here you go.You know what? I just have one more question.If you had figured this out sooner, and I had been around... ...do you think l would have been the one...?No. Don't tell me.I don't think either answer would make me feel better. Here.I love you, Phoebe.So your brother's straight, huh?Seriously.and my second-grade teacher was Miss Thomas......and my first-grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.Mrs. Gobb?No, Cobb. Like cobb salad.What exactly is in a cobb salad?I'm going home.Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh?Good night.It's pretty late. You're probably not still planning on....No, I am.Are you nervous?I have done it before.I mean, how are you gonna handle it?Are you gonna talk about it beforehand? Are you just gonna pounce?I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna......see what happens.Good luck!What?Nothing....It is your first time with her, and if the first time doesn't go well... ...well then, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.Okay, now I'm nervous.Maybe you should put it off.No, I don't want to put it off!I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable.And now I'm actually happy.You know, I mean really happy.I just don't wanna....I don't wanna mess it up, you know?I know.I'm sorry.It's not your fault.Right.Maybe it doesn't have to be this tough.Maybe you were on the right track with that whole "spontaneous" thing. -Women really like that. -Really?I mean if it were me, I'd want you to....I don't know, catch me off guard with a really......good kiss.Really sort of soft at first.And then maybe brush the hair away from my face.And then look far into my eyes......in a way that lets me know something......amazing is about to happen.And then, I don't know, then......you'd pull me really close to you so that......so that I'd be pressed up right against you.And it would get kind of......sweaty......and blurry.And then it's just happening. Thanks, Rach. Good night!Oh, God!Good morning!Well, somebody got some last night! Twice!。