【英语学习资料】老友记字幕Word版第一季第十一集

你们男生不懂的是What you guys don’t understand is，接吻对女生的重要性for us， kissing is as important as any part of it。

是嘛Yeah, right！.。

当真吗Y'serious?当然Oh， yeah！初吻可以让人明白一切Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.没错Absolutely.对我们而言Yeah， I think for us,接吻就像是暖场序幕kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know？｛\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad（0，0)\b0\pos（374，247）｝摇滚乐队就像平克·弗洛伊德出场前I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through你得耐着性子先看完暖场搞笑秀before Pink Floyd comes out.对而且我们并非Yeah， and-and it’s not that讨厌搞笑表演而是因为we don’t like the comedian, it's that—that...只是我们买票又不是为了看搞笑秀that’s not why we bought the ticket。

问题在于演唱会结束后The problem is, though, after the concert’s over,不论表演有多精采no matter how great the show was，你们女生总还想再重温暖场搞笑秀you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know?我们在车中奋力杀出车阵I mean， we're in the car， we're fighting traffic.。

Telling you, Ross, she wants you.She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. - Any contact? - She lent me an egg.- You're in! - Right.- Hey, Ross. - Hey!Come on. Ross, you got get back in the game.The Rachel thing isn't happening,your ex-wife's a lesbian....I don't think we need a third.Excuse me. Could we get an egg, still in the shell?An egg?Yeah. You gonna go up to her and say,"Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."I think it's winning.- It's insane. - She'll love it.-Thank you. -Thank you. Here.Go with the egg, my friend.Go, go, go!- Think it'll work? - No way. It's suicide.The man's got an egg.- You can't do this. - Do what?Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.No! Pheebs, don't you remember why you dumped him? Because he was creepy.And mean. And a little frightening.Still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guyany night of the year.I know I do.What are you guys doing tomorrow night?Actually tomorrow night kind of depends on how tonight goes. - About tonight - Don't ger your bail on me!The only reason she's goin' out with meis because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.Yes I know, but her friend sounds like such a...Pathetic mess. I know, but....Come on, man. She's needy, vulnerable.I'm thinking....Thanks.You haven't been out with a woman since Janice.You're doing this.- She said yes. - Way to go, man!- Still got the egg,huh? - Yeah.How do I look?I don't care.There's Lorraine.Remember. No trading.You get the pretty one, I get the mess.Hi, Joey.Well, well! Look what you brought!Very nice.And what did you bring?She's checking her coat.Joey, I'm gonna wash the cab smell off of my hands.Get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.Janice?Janice!?Oh......my......God!Hey, it's Janice!Okay, I'm making a break for it! I'm going out through the window. No, no, no, I've been waiting for, like,forever to go out with Lorraine.- Just calm down. - Calm down?You set me up with a womanI've dumped twice in the last five months!Can you stop yelling? You're making me nervous and....I can't go when I'm nervous.I'm sorry, you're right.Come on! Do it, do it!Roger was creepy,but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.- Which one is Pete Carney? - Pete the Weeper.Remeber the guy that used to cry every time we had sex?"Was it good for you?"I'd take crying any day over Howard, the "I win" guy!"I win! I win!"We went out for two months. I didn't win once.How do we end up with these jerks?- We are good people! - I don't know.We're some kind of magnets.I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.There's more beer, right?You know my friend who shaves her head?She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle......you can do a cleansing ritual.Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.Yeah.We can do it tomorrow night.It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.Okay, what kind of ritual?We can burn the stuff they gave us.Or...?Or we can chant and dance around naked with sticks.Burning's good.You know...... ever since I was little, I can pick up quarters with my toes.Yeah? Good for you.Quarters or rolls of quarters?By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all of my pictures.So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.That's okay.Are you sure, really? Because you could make little puppets out of them.And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty! We can't do that!What? What can't you do?Can I talk to you for a second? Over there?We might be leaving now.Tell me it's you and me "we."She wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is!But I definitely want to be a part of it!Okay, you cannot do this to me.You're right. I'm sorry.Can we have three chocolate mousses to go, please? I'm out of here.Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me.I'm sorry, Chandler.I hope she throws up on you.Thanks.- So.... - Just us.What a crappy night!I have enjoyed the fact......that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper. Excuse me.How you doing?So do we have the best friends, or what?Joey's not a friend. He's......a stupid man who left us his credit card.Another drink? Dessert? A big-screen TV?- I'll have a drink. - Got it. Good woman!- Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne? -Each. That's right, each. And a rob roy.I've always wanted to know.Happy Valentine's Day!Oh, I miss you already.- Can you believe this happened? - No, no!And yet it did.- Goodbye, Janice. - Kiss me!Oh, Chandler. Sorry.Oh, Chandler. Sorry!- Hey, Janice. -Hi, Monica.Well, this was very special.Rach, come see who's out here!What's going on? Oh, my God!Janice! Hi!Janice is gonna go away now!I'll be right back.Joey! Look who it is!Good. Joey's home.This is so much fun!This is like a reunion in the hall!Ross, there's someone I want you to say hi to.He happened to call.Hi, Ross. That's right,it's me! How did you know?I'm just saying if dogs do its experience jet lag...... because of the seven dog years to one human year thing... ...when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles...... he doesn't just lose three hours,he loses a week and a half. That's funny!Who are they?The blond is my ex-wife.And the woman touching her is her......close, personal friend.You mean they're lovers?If you want to put a label on it.- Anything else I should know? - Nope. That's it.Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.I always forget that part.Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.All I had is oregano and a Fresca.That's okay!Now we need the semen of a righteous man.Ok, Pheebs, you know what?If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. - Can we start throwing things in? - Yeah, okay!Okay. Barry's letters.Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.And I have the receipt from my dinner with....- A picture of Scotty Jared naked! - Let me see!- He's wearing a sweater. - No.Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.Wait, isn't it almost pureHow can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.Hello, funny valentine!Hi, just Janice.Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker.I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna.If you don't do it, I will.So are you, what do you for a leaving?Well, you know, with..Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.I thought they could.- It's Valentine's Day. - I know, but it's my job.I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry.I'm spending most of my time teaching science......which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.Now, that is funny!Do you think it would be too weirdif I invited Carol over to join us?Because she's alone now. And pregnant. And sad.- I guess. - Are you sure? Carol!- Wanna join us? - No, I'm fine.Come on. These people will scooch down.You guys will scooch, won't you?Let's try scooching! Come on!- Come on. - Thank you.IKristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick.Carol, Kristen.- How do you do? - Carol teaches sixth grade.And Kristen....Kristen does something......that, funnily enough......wasn't even her major!What do we got there?A piece of sik boxer shorts.Some greeting cards.A half-charred picture of....That guy's hairier than the chief!It's a really funny story how this happened.It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain.This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire we've seen get out of control. - You are the third one tonight. - Really?Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.- I brought you something. - Is it loaded?Oh, little candy hearts."Chan and Jan Forever."I had them made special.Okay, Janice.Hey, Janice.There's no way to tell you this.At least, there's no new way.I just don't think things are gonna work out.That's fine.It is?Because I know that this isn't the end.You see, actually, it is.No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen.Don't you know it yet?You love me, Chandler Bing!Oh, no, I don't.Then ask yourself this. Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's, who invited who?Valentine's, who asked who into bed?- I did, but - You seek me out!Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! Janice! Janice!You want me. You need me.You can't live without me. And you know it.You just don't know you know it.See?Call me!It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.You did so, I swear toHow long has she been in the bathroom?She isn't in the bathroom. Her coat's gone.Well, maybe it's cold in there.Maybe I screwed up my first date in nine years.- That could be it. - Oh, God.You know, this is still pretty hot.Mushroom.Smile.They won't all be like this.Some might stay through dinner.- I'm sorry. That's not funny. - It's just....You know the whole "get on with your life" thing? Well, do I have to?I'm sitting here with this cute woman......and she's perfectly nice, but that......that's it.Then I'm here talking to you, and it's easy and it's fun. And I don't have to....- I know. - You know?Here's a wacky thought.Let's say you and I give it another shot.I know what you're gonna say. You're a lesbian.But what do you say we just put that aside for now. Let's just stick a pin in it.Because we're great together. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby.- I mean, how perfect is that? - RossYou keep saying that,but there's something right here. I love you.I love you too.- But - No "but."You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out.You'll find someone.The right woman is waiting for you.It's easy for you to say. You found one already.All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. Not her.We get off at midnight. We'll pick you up then.Okay. Great!So will you bring the truck?I'll even let you ring the bell.- We'll see you later. - Bye! See you later!Oh, my God!See? There you go. The cleansing worked.You're right. They're nice guys!They're firemen guys!You guys tell them you're married?No way. You kidding. My girlfriend doesn't even know. I'm not gonna tell them!第一季第十四集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。

How'd someone get a hold of your credit card number? 怎么会有人知道你的信用卡号码I have no idea. But Look how much they spent. 我也不知道你看他们花了多少钱Monica, would you calm down? 莫妮卡冷静点好吗The credit card people said that 信用卡部员说you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought. 你只须为你买的东西付款I know, it's just such reckless spending. 我知道只是他们花钱如流水I think when someone steals your credit card 我想那小偷偷去你的信用卡时...they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind. 早就忘了要小心谨慎吧Wow, what a geek. They spent $69. 95 on a Wonder Mop. 真是个呆瓜花了69.95元买"神奇拖把"That's me. 我买的Oh, yuck. Ross, he's doing it again. 讨厌罗斯他又这么干了Marcel, stop humping the lamp. 马塞尔别再侵犯那盏灯了Stop humping. Now, Marcel, come back, Come here, Marcel. 别蹭了停下马塞尔过来马塞尔Oh, no. Not in my room. I'll get him. 不别到我房里我去抓他出来Ross. You've got to do something about the humping. 罗斯你得想办法别让他发春了What? It's just a phase. 怎么了这只是暂时的Well, that's what we said about Joey. 我们当时也是这么说乔伊的Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal. 你们冷静点行吗这又没什么大不了- Marcel, stop it. Marcel. Bad monkey. - What? -马塞尔停坏猴子 -又怎么了Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious. 只能说我的"好奇乔治"娃娃不再好奇了Monica, you are not still going over that thing. 莫妮卡你不是还在纠结吧- This woman's living my life. - What? -这女人过着我的生活 -什么She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me. 她过着我的生活而且过得比我好Look at this. Look. She buys tickets to plays I wanna see. 看她买的戏票是我一直想看的戏She, she buys clothes from stores 她买衣服的那家店that I'm intimidated by the sales people. 我一直被售货员冷眼相待She spent $300 on art supplies. 她花了300块买艺术用品You're not an artist. 你又不是艺术家I might be if I had the supplies. 要是有这些我或许已是艺术家了I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't. 我本可以过这样的生活我却没有Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things. 莫妮卡别泄气你活得很精彩Really? Let's compare, shall we? 真的吗那我们来比一比好吗Oh, it's so late for "shall we." 现在说"好吗"太晚了吧Do I horseback ride in the park? 我到过公园骑马吗- Do I take classes at the New School? - No. -我在新学校上过课吗 -没有This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, 太不公平了她拥有我想要的一切and she doesn't have my mother. 而且她没有我那样的妈How about Joey Paponi? 乔伊·帕波尼如何No, still too ethnic. 不好还是太民族了My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral..我的经纪人认为我该取个中立点的名字Joey Switzerland? 乔伊·瑞士如何Joey Switzerland? 瑞士是著名中立国Plus, you know, I think it should be Joe. 还有我觉得自己应该叫乔you know, Joey makes me sound like I'm this big 乔伊让我感觉...像个小不点you know, Joey makes me sound like I'm this big joey有小动物的意思which I'm not. 可我不是Joe, Joe, Joe Stalin? 乔乔乔·斯大林如何Stalin. Stalin. 斯大林斯大林Do I know that name? It sounds familiar. 我听过这名字吗听起来好熟悉Well, it does not ring a bell with me. 反正我没什么印象Joe Stalin. 乔·斯大林You know, that's pretty good. 这名字太霸气了You might wanna try Joseph. 或许你愿意叫约瑟夫Joseph Stalin. 约瑟夫·斯大林Joseph Stalin. 前苏联领导人- I think you'd remember that. - Yes. -这名字多好记 -没错Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. 《再见小鸟》由约瑟夫·斯大林主演Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof. 约瑟夫·斯大林参演《屋顶上的提琴手》Hi. Yes, this is Monica Geller. 嗨对我是莫妮卡·盖勒I believe I'm taking some classes with you, 我记得我有在你们那里上课and I was wondering what they were. 我想知道是哪些课- What are you doing? - All right, great. -你在干什么 -好的太棒了Great. Thanks a lot. I'm going to tap class. 太棒了非常感谢我要去上踢踏舞课What, what, so that you can dance with the woman 怎么你要和偷你信用卡的女人that stole your credit card? 一起跳踢踏吗This woman's got my life. 这女人偷走了我的生活I should get to see who she is. 我得看看她长啥样Go to the post office, I'm sure her picture's up. 去邮局看啊她的照片一定挂在墙上Okay, Monica, you know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! 莫妮卡你知道吗你有点失控了I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing. 你现在执着得有点诡异了This is madness, it's madness, I tell you. 这是疯狂我跟你说这叫做疯狂For the love of God, Monica, don't do it. 上帝保佑莫妮卡别这么做Thank you. 谢谢- What do you think? - Lots of things. -你想什么呢 -百感交集- Which one do you think she is? - May I help you? -你认为哪个是她 -有什么能效劳的吗No, thanks. We're just here to observe. 不必了谢谢我们是来参观的You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. 舞蹈课怎么能参观你们要来参与Spare shoes are over there. 那儿有没人穿的舞鞋What does she mean? 什么意思I think she means "You dance a dance class." 我想她是叫我们"参与到舞蹈课中"- Come on, come on, come on. - Really? -来吧来吧来吧 -真的吗Do you see anybody you think could be me? 有看见哪个人像我的分身吗Last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class. 各位上回有人在教室留下空酸奶瓶- Let's not have that happen again. - She could be you. -下不为例 -说不定是她Let's get started. 开始吧Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight. 五六五六七八- Okay, I'm not getting this. - I'm totally getting it. -我毫无头绪 -我完全融入Did you ever feel like sometimes 你可曾觉得you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated? 自己有时候毫无协调感What? You just click when they click. 怎么了他们踢你跟着踢就是了All right, people, now everyone grab a partner. 好了各位每个人找个舞伴All right. And my dead mother says you are it. I'm with Rachel. "我的亡母说就是你" 我跟瑞秋Great, it's gym class all over again. 这下好体育课的旧事又重演了Well that's all right, You can come up to the front and dance with me. 没关系你过来到前面和我一起跳Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare? 我何不脱下衣服来场恶梦It's okay, it's okay. I'm here, I'm here. 没关系没关系我来了I'm so sorry I'm late. 抱歉我迟到了Okay, here I am. So who's the new tense girl? 我来了这个紧张的新人是谁- She's your partner. - Hi, I'm Monica. -你的舞伴 -嗨我叫莫妮卡Oh, Monica. 莫妮卡啊Hi, I'm Mon 嗨我叫莫...- Nana. - Monana. -...娜娜 -莫娜娜- It's Dutch. - You're kidding. -是荷兰语 -你在开玩笑吧I spent three years in Amsterdam. 我在阿姆斯特丹住了三年Pennsylvania Dutch. 我是德裔宾夕法尼亚州人And we're dancing. Five, six, seven, eight. 开始吧五六七八Hi. 嗨- Hey. Where have you been? - I just got back from the vet. -你上哪儿去了 -我刚从兽医那回来She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone, is she? 她没叫你戴那种塑料大圆锥吧She says Marcel's humping thing is not a phase. 她说马塞尔发情不是暂时的Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity. 显然他已性成熟了Hey, he beat you. 哇比你早哎She says, as time goes on, 她说随着时间的推移he's gonna start getting agressive and violent. 他会越来越暴力侵略性越来越强So, what does this mean? 这代表什么I have to give him up. 我们不能再养他了I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks. 我真不敢相信罗斯这太扯了I don't get it, I mean, You just got him. 我不懂你也就刚养他How could he be an adult already? 他怎会突然成熟了I know. One day he's this little thing... 我知道他曾经就是个小不点and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. 不知不觉中这小不点抱住我大腿不撒手Isn't there any way to keep him? 你没什么办法继续养着他吗No. The vet said that unless he's in a place... 没有兽医说除非有个地方...where he has regular access... 让他能通过正常渠道...to some monkey loving... 发展一些猴类之爱... he's just gonna get vicious. 否则他会越来越残暴I just gotta get him into a zoo. 我得将他送到动物园- How do you get a monkey into a zoo? - I know that one. -如何把一只猴送进动物园 -我知道No, that's popes into a Vokswagen. 不那是如何让教皇进入大众汽车We're applying to a lot of them. 我们要多方申请Our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos. 当然大型州立动物园是首选You know, like San Diego. Right? 比方说圣地亚哥动物园But that may just be a pipe dream. 那可能只是痴人说梦Because you know, he's out-of-state. 因为他都不在州内My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility. 兽医说她有迈阿密的朋友这是条路But that's two blocks from the beach. It's a total party zoo. 但那离海滩只有两个街区环境太嘈杂- We found her, We found the girl. - What? -我们找到她了找到偷卡女了 -什么Did you call the cops? 你们报警了吗No, we took her to lunch. 没我们和她一起吃了午餐Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice. 用你们的方式给她治了罪Are you insane? This woman stole from you. 你疯了那女人偷了你的东西She stole. She's a stealer. 她偷东西她是个小偷After you're with this woman for like 10 minutes, 和这女人相处十分钟后you forget all that. 你就会把这些全忘了I mean, she's this astounding person with this amazing spirit. 她真是个振奋人心的奇女子Yeah! Which she probably stole from some cheerleader. 是啊指不定从某位啦啦队员那偷来的- Take off their hats. - Popes in a Vokswagen. -脱下他们的帽子 -教皇塞进大众车- Take off their hats. - Popes in a Vokswagen. 笑话:教皇摘下高帽子才能坐进大众车I love that joke. 我喜欢这个笑话No way. No way did you do this. 不可能你绝不会这么做Monana was very brave. 莫娜娜相当勇敢It was so wild. We told them we were the Gundersons in room 615... 太疯狂了我们自称是615房的冈德森姐妹...only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire six floor.结果波士顿凯尔特人队已包下整个六楼So once they caught on to the fact that we're, 当他们发现我们个子矮矮you know, short and have breasts... 还是女人的那一刻They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel. Me. 就把我们撵出来了我居然被撵出饭店哎Go, Monana. 干得好莫娜娜You ladies are not the only ones living the dream. 不光你们过着梦想中的生活I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. 我得去给陌生人倒咖啡了不用等我Oh, by the way... 对了...tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show. 明天我们要去参加百老汇的面试- Excuse me? - There's an open call for Cats. -什么 -《猫》剧还有一个缺额I'm thinking we go down there, sing "Memories"... 我想我们可以去唱《回忆》I'm thinking we go down there, sing "Memories"... 剧中名曲...and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say? 让自己大出洋相你意下如何No, no ,no. Remember who you're dealing with here. 不不不记住你在跟谁说话呢I mean, I'm not like you. 我不像你I can't even stand in front of a tap class. 我连站在踢踏舞教室前排都不敢That's probably because of your Amish background. 那可能是因为你的门诺教派背景- What? - You're Pennsylvania Dutch, right? -什么 -你不是德裔宾夕法尼亚州人吗Right. Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned. 对直到我买了吹风机就被驱逐了Right. Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned.门诺教派后人远离科技产品过着农业生活I used to be just like you. 我过去也和你一样And then, one day, I saw a movie that changed my life. 直到有一天我看了部改变我人生的电影Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? 你看过《死亡诗社》吗I thought that movie was so incredibly boring. 我认为这电影实在是太...无聊了I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself 那孩子在电影的结尾自杀了because he can't be in the play? 只因他无法演出话剧What was that? It's like, 这是为了什么不就是"Kid, wait a year. Leave home, "孩子再忍一年离开家do some community theater." 到社区话剧团去"I walked out of there and I thought, 走出电影院时我想"Now that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.""花在这部烂片上的两个小时再也回不来了"And that thought scared me 这想法震惊了我more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. 从此便不再惧怕尝试任何事了Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.那我强烈建议你别看《窈窕奶爸》Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.与《死亡诗社》主演同为罗宾·威廉姆斯Oh, God. 上帝We didn't get into Scranton. 我们进不了斯克兰顿了That was, like, our safety zoo. 那是我们保底的动物园They take, like, dogs and cows. 他们连狗和牛都收See, I don't know who this is harder on, me or him. 我真不明白我和他谁更难受一点I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it. 我想那椅子首当其冲Marcel. Marcel. Marcel, no. 马塞尔马塞尔马塞尔不要Good boy. See? How can nobody want him? 乖宝怎么会没人要他Somebody will. 一定会有人的You know, there already is a Joseph Stalin. 你知道吗早就有人叫乔瑟夫·斯大林了You're kidding. 开什么玩笑Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered people.显然他是个嗜血如命的俄国独裁者You'd think you would've known that. 我还以为你考虑得挺周全呢You'd think I would've. 那是你想错了Phoebe. What do you think a good stage name for me would be? 菲比你认为我该取什么艺名登台Flame Boy. 火焰男孩Where exactly is your zoo? 你的动物园具体在哪Well, it's technically not a zoo, per se. 严格而言不算是个动物园It's more of an interactive wildlife experience. 更像是种互动式野外体验- Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel. - Yes. -我想请教你几个关于马塞尔的问题 -好Does he, uh, fight with other animals? 他会和其他动物打架吗No, no. He's very docile. 不会的他非常温驯Even if he were cornered? 就算被逼进角落也不会吗Well, I don't know. Why? 我不知道干嘛这么问How is he at handling small objects? 他掌控小东西的能力如何He can hold a banana, if that's what you mean. 他会拿香蕉如果你是这意思的话What about a hammer or a small blade? 锤子或小刀呢Why would he need a blade? 他为何需要小刀Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns,如果他要对抗的是狸猫或有角的动物...you got to give the little guy something. 你总得给这小家伙武器防身Otherwise, it's just cruel. 否则就太残忍了- He got into San Diego. - What? -他能去圣地亚哥了 -什么We came back from our walk. The phone was ringing.... 我们散步回来听见电话铃响He's in. 他被录取了Did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego. 听见没马塞尔圣地亚哥要你了You're making a big mistake here. San Diego's all well and good... 你大错特错了圣地亚哥环境良好没错but if you give him to me, 但如果你把他交给我I'll start him off against a blind rabbit . 我能训练他对抗瞎眼的兔子...and give you 20% of the gate. 而且给你百分之二十门票收入Where the hell've you been? 你到底跑哪儿去了Monica and I just crashed an embassy party. 我和莫妮卡刚混进了大使馆的派对- Are you drunk? - No. -你喝醉了吗 -才没有呢- I'm lying. I am so drunk. - Oh, God. -骗你的我醉醺醺的 -天哪Right, Monica, you know what? You could've called. 莫妮卡你该打电话回来的I have been up here, I've been worried...Monica. 我一直在家里担心你莫妮卡Water rules. 好过瘾Yes. Yes, it does. 没错没错Okay, look, the restaurant called. 餐厅今天又来电话了They wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work. 他们想知道你还要不要去上班Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today. 不我今天要去纽约马戏团Okay Monica, what are you doing? 莫妮卡你在干什么You're gonna lose your job. This is not you. 你会丢了工作的你不是这样的人No, it is me. 不这正是我I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows... 我并不只是那种必须拍松枕头and pay the bills as soon as they come in! 帐单一来立刻去缴款的人You know, when I'm with her, I'm so much more than that. 和她在一起我就超越了那种人I'm Monana. 我是莫娜娜Hello? Yes, she is. Hold on a second please. 喂对她在等等Monana, it's for you. The credit card people. 莫娜娜你的电话信用卡公司打来的Hello. 你好Yes? 是吗Oh, my God. 天呐- Thanks. - What? -谢谢 -怎么啦They've arrested Monica. 他们逮到莫妮卡了How are you? 你好吗Not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my color. 不太糟幸好我喜欢蓝色How did you know I was here? 你怎会知道我在这儿Because I'm Monica Geller. 因为我是莫妮卡·盖勒It was my credit card you were using. 你用的是我的信用卡That I was not expecting. 真是没想到I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in. 我想让你知道去报案的人不是我- Thanks. - No, thank you. -谢谢你 -不我要谢谢你You have given me so much. 你教会我太多东西if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing 如果不是你我永远不可能...... "Memories" on the stage at the Winter Garden Theater. 在冬园剧院的舞台上演唱《回忆》Well, actually, you only got to sing "Memo" 老实说你只开口唱了"回"而已I can't believe you're here. What am I gonna do without you? 我不敢相信你会在这失去你我该怎么办Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? 谁陪我混进大使馆的派对Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus? 谁带我去纽约马戏团Monica, I started my day by 莫妮卡我开始新一天的方式peeing in front of 25 other women... 是在25个女人面前尿尿...and you're worried about who'll take you to the Big Apple circus?你却担心没人带你去看纽约马戏团演出Well, not worried, you know, just wondering. 不是担心只是迷惑There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. 没什么好迷惑的莫妮卡You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, 你继续做你自己because that's who you are. 因为那才是真正的你- Not necessarily. - Yes, necessarily. -没必要吧 -很有必要I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the Amish thing. 我不知道为什么或许因为你是门诺教徒I'm not actually Amish. 我其实不是门诺教徒Really? Then why are you like that? 真的吗那为何你那么怪- You, by the door, in or out? - ln. -门旁边那个加不加入 -加入You in the back. You're getting it all wrong. 后面的你完全跳错了But at least I'm doing it. 至少我在跳This is the final boarding call for Flight 67... 这是飞往圣地亚哥67次航班的最后登机通知... to San Diego boarding at gate 42A. 登机口在42AOkay, goodbye, little monkey guy. All right, I wrote you this poem. 再见小猴子这是我给你写的诗Okay, but don't eat it till you get on the plane. 上飞机后才能吃Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. 谢谢你菲比阿姨Okay, bye, champ. 再见了棒小伙子Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, 我知道圣地亚哥那儿美女如云... but remember, there's also a lot to learn. 但记得要学习的还很多I don't know what to say, Ross. It's a monkey. 我不知该说什么罗斯他是只猴子Just say what you feel, Joey. 说出你的感觉就成了乔伊- Marcel, I'm hungry. - That was good. -马塞尔我饿了 -这句不错Marcel, this is for you. 马塞尔这是给你的It's just, you know, something... 你懂的留给你在...to do on the plane. 飞机上无聊时玩If you don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him. 如果不介意的话我想和他独处一会儿- Oh, sure. Absolutely. - Go ahead. -当然可以 -去吧Marcel, come here. Come here. Come here. 马塞尔过来过来过来Well, buddy... 小家伙...this is it. 就这样了Just a couple of things I wanted to say. 我只想说几句话I'm really gonna miss you. 我会想你的You know, I'm never gonna forget about you. 我永远不会忘记你的You've been more than just a pet to me. 在我心中你不只是一只宠物You've been more like a... Okay. Marcel. 你更是...马塞尔Would you leave my leg alone? 能放开我的腿吗Would you just stop humping me for two seconds? 就不能有一秒钟别乱来吗Marcel! Okay, would you just take him away? Just take him. 马塞尔...带他走好吗带他走吧Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand... 希望我是你手上的手套...that I might touch thy cheek. 这样我就能抚摸你的脸颊- That's fine. Thank you. - Next. -好了谢谢 -下一位I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio. 我来试演"马丘修"角色的- Name? - Holden McGroin. -名字 -侯登·麦克葛罗尼- Name? - Holden McGroin. 谐音holding my groin:握住我那里第一季第二十一集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。

-告诉他 - 就告诉他嘛-Tell him. - Just tell him.-闭口 - 告诉我什么-Shut up. - Tell me what你看你连正眼看他都不敢Look at you, you won't even look at him.就告诉我吧Oh, come on tell me.下回有女人不愿看我我也好有新原因I could use another reason why women won't look at me. 好吧好吧昨晚我梦见All right. All right. Last night, I had a dream that uh...我和你...that you and I were在这桌上做爱doing it on this table.梦里干的不错嘛Excellent dream score.你怎会有这类梦Why would you dream that最重要的是More importantly...我棒吗...was I any good几乎是棒极了Well, you were pretty damn good.真存心思在我梦中我特别力所不及Interesting. Cause in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate. 昨晚你在这桌上的表现十全十美Last night, you seemed to know your way around the table. 真快乐能与你们分享I love it when we share.你没事吧You okay there我不敢相信你会在她梦中做爱I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.对不起仅仅一次I'm sorry, it was a one-time thing.我醉得昏迷不醒并且这不是我的潜意识I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious. 你好呀瑞秋Hello, Rachel.下去Get off.给我你们能想像我操作钻床的样子吗Ooh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press不知道你当时穿什么I don't know. What are you wearing菲比你为何想操作钻床Phoebe, why would you want to operate a drill press不过临时的工作Just for some short-term-work.直到我找回一部分前按摩客户You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.又是海盗吗Pirates again不根本不贴边No. Nothing like that.我真是个大笨蛋I'm just such a dummy.我教他们 " 自己在家着手做按摩 "I taught a "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. 结果他们就不来了And they are.嗨钱德勒她能够为你工作Hey, Chan, she could work for you.谢了乔伊这是个好想法Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea.我能够我来吧什么工作I could. I could do it. What is it我秘书这几周没法来上班My secretary's gonna be out for a couple of weeks.她去给一侧乳房动消乳手术She's having one of her boobs reduced.一言难尽的波霸故事It's a whole big boob story.我能够当个秘书I could be a secretary.菲比我不知你是不是这块料Phoebes, I don't know if it's your kinda thing...由于这份工作需要你大多数时间... because it involves a lot being normal尽可能保持正常for a large portion of the day.我能办到I could do that.-你玩什么呢 - 我的新传呼机-What are you playing with -It's my new beeper.古生物学家要那玩艺儿干嘛What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for以防恐龙紧迫事件救命啊快来Is it like for dinosaur emergencies Help. come quick,他们仍是绝种了They're still extinct.不是为卡罗尔生产买的No. It's for when Carol goes into labor.好让她随时联系到我She can get me wherever I am.她只要拨号 55- 金宝All she has to do is dial 55-Jimbo.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}Jimbo在美国俚语中指 " 不请自来的人 "这号码真酷还可以当孩子的名字A cool number and a possible name for the kid.-各位回头见了 - 去见小伊森吗-All right, I'll see you guys later. - Off to see young Ethan感谢Thank you.伊森究竟有多小很小吗How young is young Ethan Young年龄和我们差不多He's our age.当我们仍是When we were...-他是大学四年级学生 - 大学-He's a senior in college. - College这位小朋友不在意你的年龄吗This man-child has no problem with how old you are 自然不在意这根本不是问题No, of course not. It's not even an issue...由于我告诉他我22 岁...because I told him I was 22.-你什么 - 什么-You what - What- 我不像 22 岁吗 -25 26还说得过去- Oh, I can't pass for 22 - Well, maybe 25, 26.-我原来就 26 - 那就对啦-I am 26. - There you go.-听见没 - 听见了-Can you hear that - Yeah.知道不拿起电话就不会响了You see, that'll stop when you pick up the phone. -我来了 - 好的-Oh, I'm on. - Okay.宾先生办公室Mr. Bing's office.对不起他正在开会 .No, I'm Sorry, he's in a meeting right now.我没在开会我在 ...I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.他知道这件事吗Will he know what this is in reference to他有你的号码吗And he has your number好我会转告他的再会I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye. 罗斯打来问候的Ross says hi.真好玩好了我们此刻做什么This is so fun. All right. What do we do now 此刻我得开始工作了Well, now I actually have to get to work. "可能吧""Most likely."好了我出去了Okay, I'm gonna be out there.好的再会All right. Bye-bye.再会Bye-bye.-什么事 - 你在干嘛- Yes - What you doing窗户擦好了蜡烛点上了Okay, windows are clean. Candles are lit.皮带太紧我得去换一条Belt's too tight. Gotta change the belt.鱼翻过没没由于我做的意大利面Did I turn the fish Nope, because I made lasagna.-我有没有失控 - 有一点点-Am I out of control - Just a touch.莫妮卡我不理解Mon, I don't understand.你跟这个男生从他期中考试后I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... 谈到此刻... his midterms.为何忽然Why, all of a sudden, are you so...-我怎么了 - 今夜会是销魂一夜吗-What - Could tonight be the night我不知道他是个好男孩I don't know. He's a great guy...我喜爱和他在一同但是很难说...and I love being with him. But, you know...只好自然而然没法早先计划好...things happen when they happen. You don't plan these things. -腿毛刮了没 - 刮了-So, did you shave your legs - Yeah.罗斯别纠结了这不过一场梦Would you let it go, Ross It was just a dream.不代表 ...It doesn't mean时候到了宝宝要出生了This is it. Oh my God! It's baby time! Baby time!放轻松沉着点别紧张All right, relax. Just relax. Be cool.对刚有人呼我Yeah, hi. I was just beeped.不安卓不在这今日呼错三次了No, Andre is not here. Third time today.对我确立Yes, I am sure.不先生我不供给那些服务No, sir, I do not perform those kind of services.服务Services懂了服务嘛Oh, services.对你要呼的是 55- 劲爆Yeah, you want 55-Jumbo.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}jumbo是庞然大物的意思没错That's right.没错是劲爆不是金宝先生That's right. JUMBO with a "U," sir.不相信我你不会想要我的No, belive me, You don't want me.从他的号码看来你看到我会大失人望Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. 好吧再会了Alrighty, bye-bye.第一天上班怎样How was the first day太棒了每一个人都特别特别好Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.瞧认识我这类职位的人多沾光It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.说的是我Me.不我没告诉任何人我认识你No. I didn't tell anyone I knew you.-为何 - 由于你懂的-Why not - Well, because, you know.他们其实不喜爱你They don't like you.-什么 - 我认为你早知道-What - I thought you knew that.-谁不喜爱我 - 每一个人-No, who doesn't like me - Everyone.除了Except for....不每一个人No. Everyone.-你在说什么啊 - 别悲伤-What are you talking about - Don't feel bad.他们过去都很喜爱你They used to like you a lot.自从你升职后But then you got promoted, and, you know,他们感觉你是上级大人物now you're like Mr. Boss Man. you know, Mr. Big.宾先生宾大老板Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.-真不敢相信 - 他们甚至还模拟你-I can't believe it. - Yeah. They even do you. 模拟我They "do" me对比方这样You know, like, okay:报告要 " 何时 " 才能交来"Could that report be any later"-我没有那样说话 - 你有的-I don't sound like that. - Yeah, you do.这山谷回荡着美好的"The hills are alive with the sound..."音乐"声...of music."我的烤饼" 我" 的烤饼"My scone. My scone."我没那样说话这绝" 不" 是真的I don't sound like that. That is so not true."不" 是这样 " 不" 是这样That is so not... That is so not...这闭口吧That Oh, shut up.-不会吧 - 告诉你我到九岁时-Did not. - I'm telling you, up until I was 9...还认为 " 枪口 " 就是真切存在的犯法现场... I thought "gunpoint" was an actual place where crimes happened. -怎么会 - 新闻总是报道犯法事件-How's that possible - Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 某人在 "枪口"下"A man is being held up at Gunpoint."慌张的参观客在 " 枪口 " 下"Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint."我向来在想怎么还有人去那边And I kept thinking, "Why do people continue to go there"-我该走了 - 好-I should go. - Ok.-除非-什么-Unless. - What除非你要在这儿过夜Unless you wanna stay over.我反正要在这过夜不如I mean, I'm going to. So....是啊这样再好可是Yeah, I'd really like that.在我们考虑过夜的事宜以前Before we get into any staying-over stuff...我有些事情一定告诉你...there's something you should know.是 " 我明日一早有课 " 之类的Ok. Is this, like, "I have an early class tomorrow"... 仍是 " 我与山羊奥密成婚了 "...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"在这二者之间Well, it's somewhere in between.就严格技术层面而言自然我还没You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not.... 我是说我还没有Well, I mean, I haven't ever....-伊森-在-Ethan - Yeah.你是处男吗Are you a virgin假如你们这些孩子此刻这样称号的话If that's what you kids are calling it these days, then...对我是个处男...yes, I am.我大体向来在等候合适的人I've kind of been waiting for the right person.-真的吗 - 真的-Really - Yeah.你知道我是在指你吧You do know I was talking about you, right你向来喔个不断You keep saying that.你懂的你在杂志上看过在电影里看过You know, you read about it. You see it in the movies. 甚至在家里练习过但是天啊Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man... 这感觉实在没得比...it is nothing like that.听着听着Listen, listen.你对我坦率了一件难以开口的事You told me something that was really difficult for you. 我想假如你能坦诚相对那我也能And I figure if you can be honest, then I can too.天啊别告诉我方才做错了Oh, God. Don't tell me I did it wrong.不那件事你做得特别完满No, no, no. Nothing wrong about that.好我说了Ok, Here goes.我不是 22 岁I'm not 22.我是 25岁I'm 25...零13个月...and 13 months.但是我想我们的关系不会所以变掉But I figure, you know, that shouldn't change anything. 年龄根本就不是距离对吧I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are听着Listen...在你坦承之际...as long as we're telling stuff...我也有话要说... I have another one for you.我比你所知的年龄还小I'm a little younger than I said.-你不是四年级生吗 - 我是四年级-You're not a senior - Oh, I'm a senior...高中四年级...in high school.我们不该当这样What we did was wrong.天啊我刚和一个God, I just had sex with不到二十岁的小屁孩做爱了someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}bicentennial指美国独立二百周年我刚做爱了I just had sex.伊森注意听你为何不早告诉我Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me-你也没告诉我你真切年龄 - 那不同样-You never tell me how old you are. - It's different.我撒的谎不会让我们在48 个州获重罪My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}美国法律规定与未成年人发生关系要判重罪-你究竟在想什么 - 我什么都没想-What were you thinking - I wasn't thinking.-我不过忙于 - 不要说-I was too busy falling... - Don't say it.爱上你...in love with you.-真的吗 - 对不起-Really - Sorry.好吧别再爱我了Well, fall out of it.你都不该在这你该在学校过夜的You shouldn't be here. It's a school night.天啊Oh, God.我就像是那种I'm like those women that you see...特意勾引小帅哥的女人...with shiny guys named Chad.我成了琼·柯琳斯I'm Joan Collins.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}作风随意的英国性感女星谁Who好安卓 45 分钟后就会到Ok. Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.就这样再会Alrighty. Bye-bye.这样省事多了It's just easier that way.说吧你昨晚的梦都告诉我了Come on. You told me about the last dream.不忘了吧No. Forget it.为何莫非是梦中的我对你过于鲁莽Why not Was I doing something particularly saucy 好吧我说All right. Fine.梦中不不过你在场You were not the only one there.乔伊也在场Joey was there too.好的All right.那Was there...还有其余人吗...anybody else there-没有 - 你确立没有人 ...-No. - You sure Nobody...发发薄荷糖啥的... handing out mints or anything没有只有我们三个No, it was just the three of us.谈谈看是你跟钱德勒做完So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler,而后跟我做仍是我们三个同时...and then you and me, or you, me and Chandler -你知道吗 - 什么-You know what - What有几次There were times...我都没有参加...when it wasn't even me.真甜蜜伙计们That is so sweet, you guys.莫妮卡伊森又来电话了Mon, Ethan called again.-莫妮卡 - 莫妮卡-Mon - Mon ！-干嘛 - 伊森又来电话了-What - Ethan called again.-你不再会他了吗 - 对-You're not seeing him anymore - No.有时有些问题没法解决Sometimes, things don't work out.这跟他需要假条才能翘掉体育课没关吗This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym 我没说什么都没说我立誓I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything. I swear.-他听到的 - 听着下回见到他时-He stopped by. - Listen, next time you talk to him...能问问《恐龙战队》中最强的是谁吗...could you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}据日本同种类题材改编的美版恐龙战队我的生活真是太出色了换个话题行吗Oh, my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now对不起Sorry.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}恐龙战队台词墨菲时间到了"It's morphin'time."-暴龙-剑龙-Stegosaurus. - Tyrannosaurus.我得走了I gotta go.天脑充血Head rush.再一次我真得走了One more, and then I have to go.酷Cool.你要上哪儿去Where you going我要和几个同事去参加诞辰会I got a birthday party with some work people. 同事吗没人跟我说Work people Nobody told me.我知道这都是由于No, I know. That's part of the whole...他们不喜爱你所造成的...you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza. 你来谈谈我真不理解You know what, I don't get this.一个月前他们都是我朋友A month ago, these people were my friends. 我当上了主管其实不代表我会变为另一个人You know, just I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person. 那你今夜该来Well, then you should come tonight.和他们多相处You know, just hang out with them.让他们知道你仍是个大好人Let them see what a great guy you still are.-你认为我该去 - 诚心的你该去-You think I should - I really do. Yeah.-那好-走吧-Ok. - Ok.我们能不一同去吗But could we not go together我不想成为邀请上级的怪人I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss.昨晚真是太棒了I think last night was great.我和崔西合唱了首《乌木与象牙》You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory. 你表现得很好You were great.但大家仍旧讥笑你But they still made fun of you.-什么 - 你此刻成了 " 假惺惺 " 老板-What - You know, now you're more like, Mr. Caring Boss. "套近乎"老板Mr. I'm-one-of-you Boss."称兄道弟 " 宾大老板Mr. I-wanna-be-your-buddy Boss Man Bing.我真是想不通Then I don't get it.你知道吗钱德勒你得面对现实You know what Chandler I think you just gotta face it.你坐在这间大办公室里You're like the guy in the big office.有权录取他们也有权开除他们You're the one that hires and fires them.-他们说你仍是个好上级 - 是吗-They still say you're a great boss. - They do但是他们不再是你的朋友Uh uh. But they're not your friends anymore.-我不过想 - 但你不可以-I just want - But you can't.但我不过想But I just want你不是要去 ...Aren't you gonna卡罗尔和我定了新暗号Carol and I have a new system.假如她打 911If she punches in 9-1-1...就代表她将生产不然我就根本不理睬it means she's having a baby. Otherwise, I just ignore it. 那安卓呢What about Andre清晨他接到个电话Oh, well this morning he got a call from我感觉是堂弟纳森打来的who I think was our cousin Nathan,老实说我知道太多内情了and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.-嗨 - 我本打算这么说的-Hi. - That was gonna be my opener.你们看过卫生间里的新烘手机没Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in the bathroom -我认为那不过谣传 - 确切不移-I thought that was just a rumor. - True story.行了我得和你谈谈All right. Look, I gotta tell you something.我不是 17 岁I'm not 17.我这样说是为了让你感觉我可爱引人怜I only said that so you'd think I was cute and vulnerable. 其实我今年 30I'm actually 30.娶了妻子有正经工作是个国会议员I have a wife and a job. I'm your congressman.莫妮卡这太荒唐了我们多般配Monica, this is ridiculous. We're great together.我们聊天谈笑做爱也很协调We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex.... 我固然经验不多但全部是那么完满I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great. -确实是 - 那问题在哪儿-It was. - Then what's the problem伊森这太Ethan, it's....倒人胃口It's icky." 倒人胃口 ""Icky"就由于 " 倒人胃口 " 你就想放弃吗You're actually gonna throw this away because it's "icky" 我也很悲伤我多希望状况不是这样This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different. 假如你年长几岁或许我年青几岁If you were a few years older or I was a few years younger... 或是我们生活在圣经时代...or we lived in biblical times...- 我就能够 ... -不不要说- ...I could really - No, don't say it.爱你Love you.-你的手还没干是吧 - 仍是湿的-Are your hands still wet - Moist.那我们再去烘一次Let's dry them again.或许是这些鸡尾酒 " 能" 再烈一点吗Or like, "Could these margaritas be any stronger" 你好钱德勒Hey, Chandler.你好宾先生Hello, Mr. Bing.你昨晚唱的史提夫·汪达那首歌真好听Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.感谢听着相关周数据的事Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers,九点 " 之" 前请送到我办公室来I'm gonna need them on my desk by 9:00.-好的 - 没问题-Sure. - No problem.总得给他们些话题嘛You have to give them something.刚才是格斯顿山托斯That was Gerston, Santos,留胡须的那个叫什么and who's the guy with the moustache-派崔-派崔对-Petrie. - Petrie. Right, okay.看来这周末得有人Well, some people are gonna be working... "加" 班了...this weekend.真好Oh, that's nice.罗斯Ross.罗斯Ross.我在这里I'm here.你在吗You are我们刚在We were just....什么What-这下可好我有宝宝了 - 什么-Great. Now I'm having a baby. - What我要有宝宝了我要有一个I'm having a baby. I'm having a-电话电话在哪 - 不在我这-The phone, the phone. - I don't have the phone. -罗斯 - 我受伤了-Ross - I'm hurt.莫妮卡快走各位快点她要生了Mon, Let's go. Come on, people. Woman in labor. 罗斯看我这样子Ross, Look what I've got going here.坐车时再闹吧行不Save it for the cab. Ok你在干什么我们要去医院What are you doing We're going to a hospital.我不可以妆扮美丽吗说不定有帅医生What, so I can't look nice There might be doctors there. -乔伊别翻冰箱了 - 好吧-Joey, get out of the fridge. - All right.-那是干嘛的 - 路上吃的-What is that - For the ride.-比方坐车的时候 - 忍着-Like in a cab - Save it.-真厌烦 - 莫妮卡快该走了-Hating this. - Monica, come on. Let's go.宝宝就要出生了Baby coming.我真不敢相信我要当姑姑了I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunt.-我要有侄子了 - 真动人走吧-I'll have like a nephew. - That's nice. Get out.行啦我在走我在走All right, I'm going. I'm going. 走吧连忙Here we go. Come on.。

我真不敢相信你会这么说I can't believe you'd actually say that.我不是咸味先生而是花生先生I'd much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}卡通人物做的玉米小吃才怪咸味先生是个水手No way. Mr. Salty is a sailor.他应该是最强硬的点心He's gotta be the toughest snack there is.我说不好你不会想和玉米作对的I don't know. You don't wanna mess with Cornnuts.它们简直是疯了They're crazy.上帝呀你们应该看看这个Oh, my God. You gotta come see this.有个变态拿着望远镜There's some creep out there with a telescope.我真不敢相信他在看我们I can't believe it. He's looking right at us.真恶心Oh, that is so sick.我感觉被冒犯了I feel violated.而且很不爽And not in a good way.怎会有人这样How can people do that?你们看丑裸男有双重力鞋You guys, look. Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots.我跟你们说几年后学童将会把它I'm telling you, years from now, school children will study it...奉为首次约会完美案例研究...as one of the greatest first dates of all time.太令人难以置信了It was unbelievable.我们可以完全做自己无须耍任何花招We could totaly be ourselves. We didn't have to any play games. 你打过电话给她没Have you called her yet?让她知道我喜欢她你疯了不成Let her know I like her? What are you, insane?-伙计 -太恶心了- Guys. - It's gross.才第二天你要我显得多渴望It's the next day. How needy do I wanna seem?-我说的对吧 -对让她悬着心吧- I'm right. Right - Yeah, let her dangle.我无法相信我爸妈催着我找你们这种男人I can't believe my parents are actually pushing me to find one of you people. 算了行动吧Come on. Just do it.打给她别这么大男子主义Call her. Stop being so testosterone-y.我得说一句这还是旧金山特色Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.-机器声 -她的答录机吗- I got her machine. - Her answering machine?不有趣的是她的落叶清扫机接的No, interestingly, her leaf blower picked up.那你为何不留言So, why didn't you say anything?不行上次我想随意留两句话的时候No. Last time I left a spontaneous message...最后说了"对滴是这样哦"... I ended up using the phrase,"Yes,indeed-io."看是瑞秋和巴瑞Look, it's Rachel and Barry.不大家别一起回头No, don't everybody look at once!怎么了What's going on?-他们只是在讲话 -他是否神情落寞- They're just talking. - Does he look upset?他是否像被告知滚远点的样子Does he look like he was told to shove anything?没有其实他正在微笑No. Actually, he's smiling.我的老天不要那样干Oh, my God. Don't do that.怎么啦怎么啦怎么啦What? What? What?对街的男人刚踢了一只鸽子That man across the street just kicked that pigeon.基本上法案就是这么成为法律的And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.懂了吗嗨瑞秋See? Hey, Rach.情况如何How'd it go?你们知道吗其实感觉好极了You know, it was actually really great.他带我到俄罗斯茶室餐厅吃饭He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room,我点了那种一戳有奶油喷出来的鸡肉I had that chicken, where you poke it and butter squirts out. 今天真不是鸟儿的好日子Not a good day for birds.然后我们一路走到本多尔商场Then we took a walk down to Bendall's,我告诉他不要他还是买了香奈儿给我And I told him not to,but he got me a bottle of Chanel.真体贴这是在你跟他说别再来电话That's nice. Now was that before or after you told him...别再送你花别再来烦你之前还是之后...to stop calling,stop sending flowers and to generally leave you alone? 老实说我没机会开口Right. Well, we never actually got to that.能再见到他的感觉真好It was just so nice to see him again.感觉是那么自在而熟悉It was comfortable and it was familiar.感觉真好It was just nice.你已讲了两遍That's nice twice.瑞秋这是怎么回事Rachel, what's going on?你难道忘了曾经在婚礼上抛弃巴瑞吗Isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?你上哪儿去了Where have you been?今天和他在一起感觉不同It was different with him today.他今天不像是牙医He wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy.我们玩得很开心这样有什么不对吗I mean, we had fun. Is there anything wrong with that?是的Yes.-为什么 -我有我的理由- Why? - I have my reasons.那么他订婚的对象刚好...How about the fact that he's engaged to another woman... 是你曾经的好友这件事呢...who happens to be your ex-best friend?好吧我知道这样做很傻All right. I know it's stupid.我下午会去找他谈分手I'll see him this afternoon and put an end to it.我没疯对吧我们从未如此合拍过I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.前所未有No, it wasn't.这儿有个小水槽真好It was so nice having this little sink here.丹妮尔没想到是答录机接的Oh, Danielle, I wasn't expecting the machine.有空请回电Give me a call when you get a chance.再见Bye-bye.总算完了Oh, God.你两小时就憋出这么点词儿That's what you've been working on for two hours?我一直在演练呢Hey, I've been honing.-为什么拨弄盘子 -我要她以为我在餐厅- What was with the dishes? - I want her to think I'm in a restaurant. 我过着不错的生活而不是干坐在这里I might have some kind of life. Like I haven't been sitting here...演练了两个小时... honing for the last two hours?快看又是他那个拿望远镜的人.Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!我的上帝Oh, my God.走开别再往这儿看Go away. Stop looking in here.这下可好他也挥手了Great. Now he's waving back.我们得想办法阻止他We gotta do something about that guy.早上我逮到他往我们公寓张望This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. 吓死我了感觉自己没法做事It creeps me out. I feel like I can't do stuff.做什么事What kind of stuff?成熟点行吗我不是指性Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff...我只是不穿衣服做饭...but, like, when I'm cooking naked.你做饭不穿衣服吗You cook naked?对烤土司燕麦粥别溅出来就行Yeah, toast, oatmeal. Nothing that spatters.看我干嘛我毫不知情What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.怎么了What's the matter?我只是巴瑞这样做不好I just Oh, Barry, this was not good.不很好是非常非常好No, it was. It was very, very good.-明蒂呢 -我们干得比明蒂好多了- What about Mindy? - Oh, way, way better than Mindy.不我是指你和明蒂怎么办I mean, what about you and Mindy?如果你希望那我就和她分手If you want, I'll break it off with her.万万不行别那样做别为我那样做No, don't do that. Not for me.范瑞柏医生巴比·朗斯来做矫正了Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.谢谢波尼斯Thanks, Bernice.我们周末去度假吧Let's go away this weekend.巴瑞这样也太...Barry, come on, this is all way too...不不不我们可以去阿鲁巴岛No, we can go to Aruba.我上次是在我们本该有的"蜜月"去的When I went there on what would've been our honeymoon... 感觉很棒你一定会喜欢的...it was really nice. You would've liked it.我本来有穿胸罩I had a bra.嘿范瑞柏大夫Hey, Dr. Farber.你好格林小姐看来一切正常All right, Miss Greene, everything looks fine.你的牙齿看来整齐许多嘛We're starting to see some real progress.-干嘛 -我12岁了我不是傻子- What? - I'm 12, I'm not stupid.能借用你的电话吗Can I use your phone?我指点你一下你拿的那支...For future reference, that thing in your hand......也可以当电话使...can also be used as a phone.这电话没问题啊Yes, it's working.-她为何不回电 -或许她没听到你留言- Why isn't she calling? - Maybe she never got your message. 如果愿意你可以打给她的答录机If you want, you call her machine,如果听见许多哔声and if she has a lot of beeps...那代表她或许还没收留言...that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.你不认为这样会使我有点Doesn't that make me seem?绝望迫切可悲吗Desperate? Needy? Pathetic?你显然看过我的个人广告You obviously saw my personal ad.哔几声How many beeps?她接了She answered.此时你该向她打招呼才对This is where you'd use that "hello" word.我不能跟她讲话她显然听到我的留言I won't talk to her. She got my message...而且选择不回电我既迫切又被人冷落...and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. 我真想念纯迫切的滋味God, I miss just being needy.他接受了吗So how'd he take it?事实上还不错Pretty well,actually.瑞秋你头发上为何有牙线Rach. How come you have dental floss in your hair? -有吗 -当然- Oh, do l? - Uh, hmm.我们以在他椅子上做爱告终We ended up having sex in his chair.你们在他椅子上做爱You had sex in his chair?我说得有点太大声了是不是I said that a little too loudly, didn't l?你们做了什么You had what?在他椅子上做爱Sex in his chair.什么你到底在想什么What...? What were you thinking?我不知道我们仍在乎对方I don't know. We still care about each other.我们曾相爱过就像你和卡罗尔一样There's a history there. It's like you and Carol.不根本不像我和卡罗尔No, it's nothing like me and Carol.得了吧如果她说Please. If she said to you,"罗斯我此时只想和你在这沙发上缠绵""Ross,I want you on this couch... right here, right now," 你会怎么回答what would you say?如果能帮你思考我可以过去点If it helps, I could slide over.这完全是两回事就像苹果和桔子It's a totally different situation. It's apples and oranges. 是牙医和女同志的差别我走了It's orthodontists and lesbians. I gotta go.-你要上哪儿去 -我就是要走行吗- Where are you going? - I just have to go, all right?我需要理由吗我有自己的人生要过Do I need a reason? I have things to do with my life.我有许多事要做I have a jam-packed schedule.我现在已经迟到了好吗And I am late for keeping up with it, okay?喂喂Hello? Hello?喂Hello?明蒂啊Mindy.嗨你好吗Hi. How are you?对我听说了恭喜这真是太好了Yes, I heard. Congratulations. That is so great. 真的上帝啊Really, oh, God我明天要上班但如果你愿意I'm working tomorrow, but if you want,可以到公司来一趟you can come by if you'd like.可以太好了Ok. Great.太好了Great.那明天见了So I'll see you tomorrow.好的再见Okay. Bye.天呀天呀天呀Oh, God. Oh, God.明蒂好吗So how's Mindy?她明天想见我她的语调好诡异She wants to see me tomorrow. She sounded weird.我得打电话给巴瑞I gotta call Barry.是我我只是...明蒂啊It's me. I just...Mindy.明蒂不是我一想你就在这Mindy. No, I figured that's where you'd be.你这种人都该下地狱Hell is filled with people like you.他又来了偷窥狂又出现了He's back. The peeper's back.-蹲下 -蹲下干嘛- Get down. - Get down?接着跳舞And boogie.谢了但我得去上班Thanks, but I gotta go to work.准备好被明蒂挠个满脸花and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.放轻松或许她都不知道Relax. She may not even know.我们七个月都没联络她突然打电话来I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me, 还会有什么事呢what else is it about?她曾是我最要好的朋友She was my best friend.我们一起去夏令营We went to camp together,-她教我如何亲吻 -是吗- she taught me how to kiss... - Yeah?如今我像是成了第三者Now, you know, I'm, like, the other woman.-我感觉自己很 -顽皮- I feel so - Naughty.-回见了 -等等我和你一起出去- See you later. - Hold up. I'll walk with you.瑞秋她在夏令营时教你亲吻时Rach. When she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, 你们有没有穿着制服还是...and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- 没事了That's fine, yeah.我要上洗手间帮我守着电话好吗I'm going to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone? 你何不带进去Why don't you just take it with you.我们还没第二次约会We haven't had a second date...她需要听到我尿尿的声音吗...she needs to hear me pee?为什么不打给她Why don't you call her?我留过言就不能打给她我有自己的尊严I can't call her. I left the message. I have some pride. -有吗 -没有- Do you? - No.丹妮尔嗨Danielle, hi.是我钱德勒It's Chandler.我很好I'm fine.听着...Listen....我不知道你是否打过电话给我I don't know if you tried to call me because...因为我不小心把电话关了... I accidentally shut off my phone.没关系太好了好的That's fine. That's great. Okay.她正在讲电话等一下回我电话She's on the other line. She's gonna call me back. 她正在讲电话等一下回我电话She's on the other line,she's gonna call me back. -你不想尿了吗 -所以我在跳舞- Don't you have to pee? - That's why I'm dancing. -明蒂 -嗨你好- Mindy. - Hey, you.嗨你好Hey, you.什么事So what's up?我们该坐下来谈We should really be sitting for this.当然啦Sure we should.我知道我们最近关系诡异I know things have been weird...但你是我认识最久的朋友...but you're my oldest friend in the world,除了萝瑞·沙弗之外except for maybe Laurie Schaffer,我现在也不跟她说话了who I don't talk to anywhere,因为她减肥成功后刻薄许多...'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight...但是脸蛋却依旧丑陋无比...and it turns out,she doesn't have a pretty face.-那我问了 -好的- Okay, I'm just gonna say it. - Okay.你愿意当我的伴娘吗Will you be my maid of honor?-当然 -太好了- Of course. - That's so great.-你就想问我这些 -对就这些- That's all you wanted to ask? - That's all.-怎么了 -不只这样- What? - That's not all.-当然是的 -也不全是- Oh, sure it is. -Oh, no, it isn't.我认为巴瑞有其他的女人I think Barry's seeing someone in the city.你怎会这样想What would make you think that?宣布订婚后他就变了样Ever since we announce the engagement, he's acted weird. 昨晚他回家时身上有香奈儿的味道And then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.真的Really?明蒂如果这样能让你好过点Mindy. If it'll make you feel any better...我和巴瑞刚订婚时...when Barry and I first got engaged,他也像变了一个人举止很奇怪he went through a whole weird things too.瞧这就是我最担心的Oh, God. You see that's what I was afraid of.什么你担心什么What's what you were afraid of?巴瑞和你订婚时我跟他When Barry was engaged to you, he and l...正在偷偷恋爱... kind of had a little thing on the side.-什么 -我知道这不对- What? - I know, I know.他向我求婚时每个人都劝我"别接受When he proposed, everyone said "Don't do it, 他会像背叛瑞秋一样背叛你"he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," 如今我觉得自己好傻And now I feel so stupid.明蒂你真是傻Oh Mindy. You are so stupid.我们两个都傻透了We are both so stupid.什么意思What do you mean?味道熟悉吗Smell familiar?不是吧Oh no.真是抱歉Oh, I'm so sorry.不是我抱歉Oh, no, me. I am so sorry.不我对不起我抱歉No, I am sorry. I'm sorry.我的上帝Oh, my.四个字母 "圈圈或圆圈"Four letters, "circle or hoop."-快响{\fs14}[意同圆圈] {\fs}见鬼了 -谢啦-Ring, damn it, ring. - Thanks.-你知道我们的电话坏了不 -什么- You know our phone's not working? - What? 我想从咖啡店打给你但没有回音I tried to call you from the coffee shop and there was no answer. 我关机了I turned it off.老天爷啊我关机了Mother of God, I turned it off.和你告诉她的一样Just like you told her you did.只是指出槽点何在Just pointing out the irony.听着我和对街门房谈过了So listen, I went across the street to the doorman.他告诉我那偷窥狂的名字电话能借用吗I got the peeper's name. Can I use the phone?电话能借用吗Can I use your phone?请帮我查辛尼·马克斯的电话The number for a Sidney Marks, please."取暖设备""Heating device."散热器Radiator.俩字Five letters."热器""Rdtor."对是辛尼吗Yeah, is Sidney there?你就是啊辛尼是个女的Oh, this is? Sidney's a woman.是女的又怎样So she's a woman, so what?对那又怎样Yeah, so what?听着我住在对街Look, I live across the street,我注意到你拿望远镜偷窥and I know about your telescope.而且我很不喜欢你这样And I don't appreciate it.对我现在就看得见你喂Yeah, I can see you right now. Hello?如果我想在室内只穿内裤我不该感觉If I wanna walk around in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel 谢谢Thank you.那不是重点重点是That's not really the point. The point is, that-我常举哑铃偶尔也有... -乔伊- Mostly free-weights, but occasionally... - Joey!对我邻居对黑褐色头发Yeah, my neighbor. Yeah, the brunette.她说你那天穿绿色套装很好看She said you looked pretty that day in the green dress.绿色套装真的吗The green dress? Really?{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}美女明星对她说你像英格丽褒曼She said you looked like lngrid Bergman.才没有No.-有空吗 -当然- Hey. Got a second? - Sure, sure.进来吧Come on...in...你好亲爱的Hello, sweetheart.你们来干什么What you guys doing here?我们是来和你分手的We are here to break up with you.你们两个一起Both of you?基本上我们认为你是个大烂人Basically We think you're a horrible human being,你该遭天谴and bad things should happen to you.对不起我是个白痴I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry.我是个笨蛋懦夫我无法自拔I'm a idot. I was weak. I couldn't help myself.不管我做什么都是因为太爱你了Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much. 你说的是我俩谁Which one of us are you talking to there?明蒂Mindy.当然是指明蒂我一直深爱着明蒂Of course, Mindy. It was always Mindy.我们在这把椅子上做爱时也是吗Even when we were having sex in that chair?我发誓不论我做什么我都想着你I swear, whatever I was doing, I was thinking of you. 拜托第二回合时Please. That second time,你根本把她忘得一干二净了you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup.你们做了两次You did it twice?第一次不算你了解巴瑞的The first time didn't really count. You know, it was Barry. 亲爱的甜心再给我一次机会Honey, sweetheart, look. Just give me another chance. 我们再重新来过我们再到阿鲁巴岛去We'll start over. We'll go back to Aruba.范瑞柏医生紧急状况Dr. Farber, we've got an emergency here.强森·卡斯特兰诺被自己的牙套噎到了Jason Castalano's choking on his retainer.天啊我马上去波尼斯Oh, God. I'll be right there, Bernice.求你了求你别离开Look, please, please don't go anywhere.我马上回来I'll be right back.我们会在这儿的恨你入骨Okay, and we'll be here, hating you.看见他走出去时满身大汗没See how he was sweating when he walked out?这样吧我去抓住他那里Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much然后你过去狠狠打他几拳you just jump right in there and take some punches. 我跟你说那感觉一定很爽because I'm telling you, this feels great.是吗我还是想嫁给她Yeah? I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.你在说什么What are you talking about?明蒂那家伙是个恶魔Mindy, the guy is the devil.是个衣冠禽兽He is Satan in a smock.我知道他并不完美I know he's not perfect.但事实是But the truth is at the end of the day,说到底我还是想当I still really wanna be...巴瑞·范瑞柏医生的... Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber...太太... D.D.S.我的天Oh, God.希望你能为我高兴I hope you can find a way to be happy for me.我希望你还愿意当我的伴娘And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor.我希望巴瑞不会在阿鲁巴岛将你宰了吃掉And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba. -你还好吗 -还好- You okay? -Yeah.-真的吗 -真的- Really? - Yeah.自从我在婚礼上抛下巴瑞Since I ran out on Barry at the wedding...我一直在想这决定是否正确...I've wondered whether I made the right choice.现在我知道了And now I know.我真为你高兴I'm so glad.好日子Big day.我告诉你花生先生的穿着比较讲究I'll give you this: Mr. Peanut is a better dresser.他有单片眼镜高帽He's got the monocle, he's got the top hat....你知道他是个男同志吗Did you know he's gay?你说清楚了这是要帮花生先生出柜吗I just wanna clarify this. Are you outing Mr. Peanut?-钱德勒 -丹妮尔嗨- Chandler? - Danielle, hi.各位这是丹妮尔丹妮尔这是大家Everybody, this is Danielle. Danielle, everybody.你为何会出现在这儿What are you doing here?我一直打电话给你结果我记错号码了I've been calling you, it turns out that I had your number wrong. 最后总算问查号台知道你的号码When I finally got the right one from the information,却没人接电话there was no answer.我想来看看你是否无恙So I thought I'd come down here and make sure you were okay. 我没事I'm okay.或许我们改天可以见个面Maybe we could get together later?这主意不错我再打给你That sounds good. I'll call you.或是你打给我都行Or you call me, whatever.一言为定You got it.-再见了各位 -再见- Bye, everybody. - Bye.-干得好 -第二次约会- There you go. - Second date.我不知道I don't know.你不知道You don't know?她好像很不错She seems nice any enerything,但她大老远来这儿but the whole thing about her coming all the way here... 只想确定我没事有这必要吗...just to see if I was okay? I mean, how needy is that?。

老友记英语字幕Word版第一季第一集happy. 《老友记》第一季第一集莫妮卡的新室友- No you don't. - No I don't, 中央咖啡馆There's nothing to tell! to hell with her, she left me! He's just some guy I work with! And you never knew she was a lesbian... C'mon,you're going out with the guy! No!! Okay?!There's gotta be something wrong with him! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? So does he have a hump? A hump and a She didn't know, how should I know? hairpiece? Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Wait, does he eat chalk? Did I say that out loud?Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through Alright Ross, look.what I went through with Carl You're feeling a lot of pain right now. Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a You're angry. You're hurting. date. Can I tell you what the answer is? It's just two people going out to dinner Strip joint!and not having sex. C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones! Sounds like a date to me. I don't want to be single, okay? Alright, so I'm back in high school, I just...I just wanna be married again! I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria And I just want a million dollars! and I realize I am totally naked. Rachel?!Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Oh,God, Monica, hi! Thank God! Then I look down, and I realize there's a I just went to your building and youweren't phone therethere. and then this guy with a big hammer said you - Instead of...? - That's right. might be here- Never had that dream. - No. and you are, you are!All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. - Can I get you some coffee? - De-Caff And it turns out it's my mother, Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, which is very-very weird because- another Lincoln High survivor. she never calls me! This is everybody, this is Chandler, Hi. and Phoebe, and Joey,This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. and you remember mybrother Ross? Are you okay, sweetie? - Hi, sure! - Hi.I just feel like someone reached down my So you wanna tell us nowthroat or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? grabbed my small intestine, Oh, God...well,pulled it out of my mouth it started about a half hour before the wedding. and tied it around my neck... I was in the room where we were keeping all Cookie? the presents,Carol moved her stuff out today and I was looking at this gravy boat. - Let me get you some coffee. - Thanks. This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! When all of a sudden No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Sweet 'n' Lo?I'll be fine, alright? I realized that I was more turned on Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very by this gravy boat than by Barry!And then I got really freaked out, here with Monica...and that's when it hit me: Well, maybe that's my decision. how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Well, maybe I don't need your money.Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!familiar, Just breathe, breathe...that's it. but... Just try tothink of nice calm things... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, Rain drops on roses and rabbits and kittens and I started wondering bluebells and sleighbells and something with "Why am I doing this, and who am I doing mittens...this for?" La la la something and noodles with string.These are a few...So anyway I just didn't know where to go, I'm all better now.and I know that you and I have kinda drifted I helped!apart, Okay, look, this is probably for the best, but you're theonly person I knew y'know?who lived here in the city. Independence. Taking control of your life. Who wasn't invited to the wedding. And hey, you need anything, you can always Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an come to Joey.issue... Me and Chandler live across the hall. Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big And he's away a lot.pipe organ, Joey, stop hitting on her!and she's really not happy about it. It's her wedding day!Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! What, like there's a rule or something? I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Please don't do that again, it's a horrible Well, it matters to me! sound.Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. It's, uh, it's Paul.I say push her down the stairs. Buzz him in.Push her down the stairs! Push her down the - Who's Paul? - Paul the Wine Guy, Paul? stairs! Push her down the stairs! Maybe.C'mon Daddy, listen to me! Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight It's like, it's like, all of my life, is with Paul the Wine Guy?everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! - He finally asked you out? - Yes! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. Ooh, this isa Dear Diary moment. And today I just stopped and I said, Rach, wait, I can cancel...'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? Please, no, go, that'd be fine! What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to or a hat! stay?No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, That'd be good...I'm saying I am a ha- - Really? - No, go on!It's a metaphor, Daddy! It's Paul the Wine Guy!You can see where he'd have trouble. Hi, come in! Paul, this is...Look Daddy, it's my life. ...everybody, everybody, this is Paul.Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. - Hey! Paul! - Hello!Well, I guess we've established who's staying Hi! The Wine Guy!I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was - Oh my God! - I know, I know, I'm such an it? idiot.Okay, sit down. Two seconds. I guess I should have caught on when Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That she started going to the dentist four and five can't be good. times a week.So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to I mean, how cleancan teeth get? tonight? My brother's going through that right now, Well, I was kinda supposed to be he's such a mess.headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so How did you get through it?nothing! Well, you might try accidentally breaking Right, you're not even getting your something valuable of hers,honeymoon, God.. - say her... - ...leg?No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... That's one way! Me, I- talk about your I went for the watch.big lizards... You actually broke her watch?Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone Barry, I'm sorry... I amso sorry... tonight, I know you probably think that this is all about Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me what I said the other day about you making put together my new furniture. love with your socks on, Yes, and we're very excited about it. but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I just... Well actually thanks, Hi, machine cut me off again... but I think I'm just gonna hang out here anyway...look, look, tonight. You know what the scariest part is? - It's been kinda along day. - Okay, sure. What if there's only one woman for everybody, Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help? y'know?Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to. I mean what if you get one woman- I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the and that's it?side things, Unfortunately in my case, there was only one using a bunch of these little worm guys. woman- for her...I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys What are you talking about? 'One woman'? whatsoever That's like saying there's only oneflavor of ice and I cannot feel my legs. cream for you.What's this? Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots I have no idea. of flavors out there.- Done with the bookcase! - All finished! There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and This was Carol's favorite beer. Bing! Cherry Vanilla.She always drank it out of the can, I should You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or have known. whipped cream!Ross, let me ask you a question. This is the best thing that ever happened to She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- you!what did you get? You got married, you were, like, what, eight? You guys. Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon! - Oh, my God. - You got screwed. I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Oh my God! Stay out of my freezer!Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh... - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Stop. What?... What, you wanna spell it out with We'll talk later.noodles? Yeah. Thank you.No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda That wasn't a real date?!revelation. What the hell do you do on a real date? Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date? - Shut up, and put my table back. - Okayyy! Isn't there? All right, kids, I gotta get to work. Yeah... yeah, I think there is. If I don't input those numbers... What were you gonna say? itdoesn't make much of a difference... Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, So, like, you guys all have jobs? um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. Yeah, we all have jobs....Sexually. See, that's how we buy stuff. Oh, God, Oh, God, I am sorry... Yeah, I'm an actor.- I am so sorry... - It's okay... Wow! Would I have seen you in anything? I know being spit on is probably not what you I doubt it. Mostly regional work. need right now. Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch - Um... how long? - Two years. theWow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her Reruns' production of Pinocchio. watch! 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.' So you still think you, um... might want that - I will not take this abuse. - You're right, fifth date? I'm sorry....Yeah. Yeah, I do. "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi! boy..."That's the difference! So how you doing today?Grab a spoon. Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? Do you know howlong it's been since I've I can't stop smiling.grabbed a spoon? I can see that.Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean You look like you slept with a hanger in your anything to you? mouth.Y'know, here's the thing. I know, he's just so, so...Even if I could get it together enough to- to Do you remember youand Tony DeMarco? ask a woman out,... Oh, yeah.who am I gonna ask? Well, it's like that. With feelings. Isn't this amazing? - Wow,are you in trouble!I mean, I have never made coffee before in my Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to entire life. work- That is amazing. - Congratulations. and not think about him all day. While you're on a roll Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work. If you feel like you have to make a Western - Oh, look, wish me luck! - What for? omelet or something.. I'm gonna go get one of those job things. Although actually I'm really not that hungry... Hey, Monica!- Morning. - Good morning. Hey Frannie, welcome back!- Morning. - Morning, Paul. How was Florida?- Hello, Paul. - Hi, Paul, is it? You had sex, didn't you?- How do you do that? came to this city.So? Who? I was fourteen.You know Paul? My mom had just killed herself and my Paul the Wine Guy? step-dad was back in prison,Oh yeah, I know Paul. and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. You mean you know Paul like I know Paul? And I ended up living with this albino guy Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. who was, like,Y'know before me, there was no snap in his cleaning windshieldsoutside port authority, turtle for two years. and then he killed himself, Of course it was a line! and then I found aromatherapy. Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. something like that? The word you're looking for is I assume we'relooking for an answer more "Anyway"...sophisticated All right, you ready?than 'to get you into bed'. - I don't think so.Is it me? C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...Is it like I have some sort of beacon Welcome to the real world!that only dogs and men with severe emotional It sucks. You're gonna love it! problems can hear? Well, that's it. You gonna crash on the couch? All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. No. No, I gotta go home sometime. I just thought he was nice, y'know? - You be okay? - Yeah.I can't believe you didn't know it was a line! Hey Mon, look what Ijust found on the floor. - Guess what? - You got a job? 什么 What?Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! That's Paul's watch.I was laughed out of twelve interviews today. You just put it back where you found it. Oh And yet you're surprisingly upbeat. boy You would be too if you found John and - Alright. Goodnight, everybody. - David boots on sale, Goodnight.fifty percent off! - Sorry- - No no no, go-Oh, how well you know me... No, you have it, really, I don't want it They're my new 'I don't need a job, - Split it? - Okay.I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' You know you probably didn't know this, boots! but back in high school, I had a, um, How'd you pay for them? major crush on you.Uh, credit card. I knew.And who pays for that? You did! Oh....Um... my... father. I always figured you just thought C'mon, youcan't live off your parents your I was Monica's geeky older brother. whole life. I did.I know that. That's why I was getting married. Oh. Listen, do you thinkGive her a break, it's hard being on your own and try not to let my intense vulnerability for the first time. become any kind of a factor here Thank you. but do you think it would be okay if I asked You're welcome. I remember when I first you out?Sometime? Maybe?Yeah, maybe...Okay... okay, maybe I will...- Goodnight. - Goodnight.See ya....Waitwait, what's the deal?I just grabbed a spoon.I can't believe what I'm hearing here. I can't believe what I'm hearing here... What? I-I said you had aWhat I said you had...Would you stop?- Oh, was I doing it again? - Yes! Would anybody like more coffee? Did you make it, or are you just serving it? - I'm just serving it. - Yeah. Yeah, I'll have acup of coffee.Kids, new dream...I'm in Las Vegas.I'm Liza Minelli-。

What you guys don't understand is,for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.Yeah, right!...Y'serious?Oh, yeah!Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Absolutely.Yeah, I think for us,kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know?kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know?I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.Yeah, and-and it's not thatwe don't like the comedian, it's that-that...that's not why we bought the ticket.The problem is, though, after the concert's over,no matter how great the show was,you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know?I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic...basicallyjust trying to stay awake.Yeah, well, word of advice:Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourselfsitting at home, listening to that album alone....Are we still talking about sex?...Are we still talking about sex?No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- Mm-doesn't she seem a little angry?Well, she has issues.Does she?He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying toget the mastodon smell out of the carpet!Marsha, these are cave people.Okay? They have issues like'Gee, that glacier's getting kind of close.'- See? - Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife? Me? No.Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!Okay.Yes.Yes,it is.Okay.Yes.Yes,it is.How about I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age?You look great. I, uh...I hate that.Sorry. thanks.You look good too.Ah, well, in here, anyone who...stands erect...So what's new? Still, uh...A lesbian?Well...you never know. How's, um...how's the family?Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-Why- why are you here, Carol?I'm pregnant.Pregnant?!she didn't leave in such a hurry after allOh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company wherethere's some kind of misunderstanding....Then I've already seen this one!Are you through with that?Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.Whose little ball of paper is this?!Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself,and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and......now I wish I was dead.She's already fluffed that pillow...Monica, you know,you've already fluffed that--but, it's fine!Look , I'm sorry, guys,I just don't wanna give them any more ammunitionthan they already have.Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can beabout the flatness of a child's pillow.Monica? Hi!Um, Monica, you're scaring me.I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly.And not-not in a good way.Yeah, calm down.You don't see Ross getting all chaotic andtwirly every time they come.That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong.Y'see, he's the Prince.Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. What?Ugly Naked Guy got a thigh-master!Has anybody seen my engagement ring?Yeah, it's beautiful.Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. No, look, don't touch that!Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough,having to give it back to him...'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veilwho stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!'Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring,without the ring, which makes it so much harder...Easy Rach, we'll find it. Won't we!Oh! Yeah!Alright, when do you have it on last?Doy! Probably right before she lost it!You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days...I know I had it this morning,and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with......Dinah?Ohhhhh, don't be mad...You didn't?Oh, I am sorry...I gave you one job!Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!Now, Monica, you know that's nothow you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...I just...can't do it.Boys? We're going in.Wow. That is not a happy hi.Carol's pregnant.Ooh! I found it!W-w-wh-...wha-...w-w-w-...Yeah. Do that for another two hours,you might be where I am right about now.Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon? Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved,but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved... basically it's totally up to me.She is so great! I miss her.What does she mean by 'involved'?I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done. Anyway, they want me to go down to this-sonogram thing with them tomorrow.So what are you gonna do?I have no idea.No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father. ...Well, this is still ruined, right?Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you.Mmm! What's that curry taste?Curry.I- I think they're great! I, I really do.Do you remember the Ludwins?The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?They all had a thing for him.Aw, Mom...I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or...I don't know.Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-No Mom, I don't have a restaurant,I work in a restaurant.Well, they don't have to know that...Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?- Yeah. - Oh, we're having spaghetti!That's...easy.I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish,but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.What that Rachel did to her life...We ran into her parents at the club,they were not playing very well.I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding...but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...What's that supposed to mean?Nothing! It's an expression.No, it's not.Don't listen to your mother.You're independent, and you always have been!Even when you were a kid...and you were chubby, and you had no friends,you were just fine!And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars,with his museum, and his papers getting published.Other people are satisfied with staying where they are-I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer....And I read about these women trying to have it all,and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem. So, Ross, what's going on with you?Any stories?No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?Okay! Okay.Look, I, uh- I realiseyou guys have been wonderingwhat exactly happened between Carol and me, and,so, well, here's the deal.Carol's a lesbian.She's living with a woman named Susan.She's pregnant with my child,and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.And you knew about this?!Your folks are really that bad, huh?Well, y'know, these people are pros.They know what they're doing,they take their time, they get the job done.Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could--I'd want yours.Must pee.Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.- You're twins? - Yeah. We don't speak.She's like this high-powered, driven career type. What does she do?She's a waitress.All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. Chandler, you're an only child, right?- You don't have any of this. - Well, no,although I did have an imaginary friend, who...my parents actually preferred.The lights, please......How long was I in there?I'm just cleaning up.Do you...uh...do you need any help?Uh...okay, sure! Thanks!Anyway...um...So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?Oh...a little...A lot.So, got any advice?Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped?Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word'dumped'.Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific,I know it'll be hard.Or, y'know, uh, hey! I'll go down there,and I'll give Barry back his ring,and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow...When did it get so complicated?Got me.- Remember when we were in high school together? - Yeah.I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone,fall in love- and that'd be it?- Ross? - Yes, yes!Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here...Me either...Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work.There was this big dinosaur...thing...anyway.Ross, you remember Susan.How could I forget?Ross.Hello, Susan. Good shake. Good shake.So, uh, we're just waiting for...?Dr. Oberman.- ...Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he - She.She, of course, she- uh-familiar with our...special situation?Yes, and she's very supportive.Okay, that's great.No, I'm- Oh.Thanks.Ross? That opens my cervix.Barry?Come in.Are you sure?Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours. So, how are you doing?I'm- uh- I'm okay...You look great!Dr. Farber,- Jason Greenstein's gagging. - Be right there.Be back in a sec.I dumped him.So, how's this all gonna work?Y'know, with us?Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made? Give me a 'for instance'.Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay,how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?- Marlon. - Marlon?If it's a boy,Minnie if it's a girl....As in Mouse?As in my grandmother.Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse.Um,how about, um...how about Julia?Julia...We agreed on Minnie.Totally, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches.I believe Julia's on the table...?Sorry about that.So. What have you been up to?Oh, not much. I-I got a job.Oh, that's great.Why are- why are you so tanned?Oh, I, uh- I went to Aruba.- Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone? - No,I went with, uh...Now, this may hurt.- Me?! - No!I went with Mindy.Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now.Oh! Well...um, You've got plugs!Careful! They haven't quite taken yet.And you've got lenses!But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!Not for her.Listen, I really wanted to thank you.See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you.More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.Wow. You know, you were right?I mean, I thought we were happy.We weren't happy.But with Mindy,now I'm happy.- Spit. - What?Me.Anyway, um,I guess this belongs to you.And thank you for giving it to me.Well, thank you for giving it back.Hello!Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?Helen Geller?I don't think so.- It's not gonna be Helen Geller. - Thank you!No, I mean it's not Geller.What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?No, actually, um,we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?It's my baby too.Oh, so funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm. Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!All right, you two, stop it!No no no, she gets a credit,hey, I'm in there too.Ross. You're not actually suggestingHelen Willick-Bunch-Geller?Cause I think that borders on child abuse.Of course not,I'm...suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.Oh, no, nonononono,you see what he's doing?He knows no-one's gonna say all those names,so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!My way?! You-you think this is my way?Believe me, of all the waysI ever imagined this moment in my life being,this is not my way- y'know what?Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-Knock knock! How are we today? Any nausea?- A little. - Yeah. - Yeah.Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be,but...thanks for sharing.Uh, lie back...You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go.I don't- I don't think I can be involvedin this particular thing right now.Oh, my God.Look at that.I know.Well? Isn't that amazing?What are we supposed to be seeing here?I don't know, but...I don't know, but...I think it's about to attack the Enterprise. You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes,it kind looks like an old potato.Then don't do that, alright?Okay!Monica. What do you think?Wh- are you welling up?No.You are, you're welling up.I'm not!You're gonna be an aunt.Oh shut up!Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel.Yeah, I'm fine.I saw Barry today. Yeah, he told me.No,i t's okay. Really, it's okayI hope you two are very happy, I really do.Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything-I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. Okay, I know it was a cheap shot,but I feel so much better now.第一季第二集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。

Tu 101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! Joey:C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler:All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.[Time Lapse]Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.Joey: Instead of...?Chandler: That's right.Joey: Never had that dream.Phoebe: No.Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! [Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...Chandler: Cookie?Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front ofRoss.)Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.Monica: No you don't.Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?Ross: Sorry.Joey:Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? (Ross gestures his consent.)Joey:Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormone s! Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)Monica: Rachel?!Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?Rachel: Hi, sure!Ross: Hi.(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wetbridesmaids?Rachel:Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.Rachel:Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.] Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide! Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)Phoebe:If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey:Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't needyour money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!![Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things... Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few...Rachel: I'm all better now.Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!Monica:Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing. Joey:(comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound. Paul: (over the intercom) It's, uh, it's Paul.Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!Joey: Who's Paul?Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?Ross: He finally asked you out?Monica: Yes!Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel...Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...Monica: (horrified) Really?Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy! Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it? Monica: Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...Ross: A wandering?Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds. Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good. (Monica goes to change.)Joey:Hey, Paul!Paul: Yeah?Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight? Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it. Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.Ross: Okay, sure.Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.Commercial Break[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]Phoebe:(singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh![Scene: Ross's Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.] Ross:(squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.) Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.Chandler: It's a beautiful thing.Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket. Joey: Which goes where?Chandler: I have no idea.(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)Joey: Done with the bookcase!Chandler: All finished!Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known. Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.Chandler: Yes, please don't spoil all this fun.Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?Ross: You guys.Chandler: Oh, God.Joey: You got screwed.Chandler: Oh my God![Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]Monica: Oh my God!Paul:I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-Monica: -leg?Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch. Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel. Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.Monica: That's right. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!Joey: Shut up!Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)Ross: That only took me an hour.Chandler:Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles? Paul: No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation. Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?Paul: Isn't there?Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say? Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually. Monica: (spitting out her drink in shock) Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...Paul: It's okay...Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?Paul: Two years.Monica: Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watch!Paul: So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date? Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is watching Joanne Loves Chaci.]Priest on TV: We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles, Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony.Rachel: Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi! That's the difference![Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.] Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?Joey:Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler) Chandler: Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats.Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.) Ross:Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)[Cut to Rachel staring out of her window.]Commercial Break[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]Rachel:Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.Chandler: That is amazing.Joey: Congratulations.Rachel: Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...Monica: (entering, to herself) Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here. All: Morning. Good morning.Paul: (entering from Monica's room) Morning.Joey: Morning, Paul.Rachel: Hello, Paul.Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)Paul: Thank you! Thank you so much!Monica: Stop!Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness. Monica: We'll talk later.Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank you. (Exits)Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?Monica: Shut up, and put my table back.All: Okayyy! (They do so.)Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff. Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.Joey: Look, it was a job all right?Chandler: 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..." Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.) Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.Monica: I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and TonyDeMarco?Rachel: Oh, yeah.Monica: Well, it's like that. With feelings.Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.Monica: Big time!Rachel: Want a wedding dress? Hardly used.Monica: I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.Rachel: Oh, look, wish me luck!Monica: What for?Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things. (Monica exits.)[Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.] Frannie: Hey, Monica!Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida? Frannie: You had sex, didn't you?Monica: How do you do that?Frannie: Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So? Who?Monica: You know Paul?Frannie: Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line! Monica: Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?Ross:I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.Monica: I hate men! I hate men!Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear? Phoebe: All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)Monica: I just thought he was nice, y'know?Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)Rachel: Guess what?Ross: You got a job?Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.Chandler: And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!Chandler: Oh, how well you know me...Rachel:They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!Monica: How'd you pay for them?Rachel: Uh, credit card.Monica: And who pays for that?Rachel: Um... my... father.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]Rachel:Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.Monica: C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life. Rachel: I know that. That's why I was getting married. Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.Rachel: Thank you.Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city.I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.(Pause)Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...Monica: All right, you ready?Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!Monica: You can, I know you can!Rachel: I don't think so.Ross:Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... (She cuts one of them and they cheer.)Rachel: Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture...Monica:Rachel! That was a library card!All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut..Chandler: (as Rachel is cutting up her cards) Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.(She finishes cutting them up and they all cheer.)Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it! [Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch? Ross: No. No, I gotta go home sometime.Monica: You be okay?Ross: Yeah.Rachel:Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?Monica: That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy. Alright. Goodnight, everybody.Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.(Monica stomps on Paul's watch and goes into her room.) Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no- Rachel: Sorry-Ross: No no no, go-Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-Ross: Split it?Rachel: Okay.Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel: I knew.Ross:You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.Rachel: I did.Ross:Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?Rachel: Yeah, maybe...Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...Rachel: Goodnight.Ross: Goodnight.(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)Monica: See ya.... Waitwait, what's with you?Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)Closing Credits[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.Phoebe: (sings) I can't believe what I'm hearing here... Monica: What? I-I said you had a-Phoebe: (sings) What I said you had...Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?Phoebe: Oh, was I doing it again?All: Yes!Monica: I said that you had a nice butt, it's just not a great butt. Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya. Ross: There's an image.Rachel: (walks up with a pot of coffee) Would anybody like more coffee?Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?Rachel: I'm just serving it.All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.Chandler: Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. (Rachel sits down to hear Chandler's dream.)Customer: (To Rachel) Ahh, miss? More coffee?Rachel:Ugh. (To another customer that's leaving.) Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there? (Hands him the coffeepot.) Go ahead. (He does so.) Thank you. (To the gang.) Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.Chandler: Okay, so, I'm in Las Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli-End。

大家安静一下Everybody, shh, shh,S中央公园很荣幸为各位介绍Central Park is proud to present the music of菲比·布菲小姐的音乐演出Miss Phoebe Buffay.大家好首先我想演唱一首有关Hi. Um, I want to start with a song that is about that moment 顿悟人生那一刻的歌when you suddenly realize what life is all about.开始咯OK, here we go.非常感谢OK, thank you very much.怎么What?这下可好Oh, great.真是太This is just...这简直是酷毙了Wow, this is so cool, you guys.全城大停电The entire city is blacked out!我妈说是整个布鲁克林Mom says it's all of Manhattan,外加部份曼哈顿和皇后区parts of Brooklyn and Queens,不知何时恢复电力and they have no idea when it's coming back on.这可真是大停电Wow, you guys, this is big.裤子和毛衣为什么妈Pants and a sweater? Why, mom?停电我能去见谁Who am I gonna meet in a blackout?电力公司的人趁火打劫的单身汉吗Power company guys? Eligible looters?这话题以后再聊好吗Could we talk about this later? OK.电话能借我吗Can I borrow the phone?我想打回住处确定我祖母是否安好I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. 我的电话几号What's my number?我从未给自己打过电话Well, I never call me.天啊是她维多利亚秘密的模特儿Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model.叫古达克的Something... something Goodacre.-妈我是吉尔 -没错吉尔·古达克- Hi Mom, it's Jill. - She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre.没想到我和吉尔同时被困在提款机室I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!是前厅还是正厅Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium.那才是值得注意的对象笨蛋Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!对我没事只是被困在银行提款机室Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule. 吉尔说前厅Jill says vestibule...那我也当做是前厅好了I'm going with vestibule.我没事不旁边有人I'm fine. No, I'm not alone...我不认识某人I don't know, some guy.某人某人Oh! Some guy. Some guy.吉尔我昨晚看见你和某人在一起'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night.没错他是某人Yes, he was some guy.各位Hi everyone.今晚主持停电晚会的是罗比·崔比阿尼And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani.钱德勒以前的室友是犹太人Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish,我们只剩这些蜡烛and these are the only candles we have, so...祝各位光明节快乐Happy Chanukah, everyone.瞧丑陋裸男点了一堆蜡烛Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.一定很痛That had to hurt!好吧好吧已过了14分30秒Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes 你却连一字也没说and you still have not said one word.争气点打破沉闷Oh God, do something. Just make contact,微笑Smile!效果不错There you go!你绝对是在吓她You're definitely scaring here.你需要给别人打电话吗Would you like to call somebody?好啊高中时代有三百个同学Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. 谢了Yeah, thanks.-喂 -是我- Hello? - Hey, it's me.是钱德勒It's Chandler!-你好吗 -我还好- Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.我和吉尔·古达克I'm trappd in an ATM vestibule被困在提款机室wth Jill Goodacre什么What?我和吉尔·古达克I'm trappd... in an ATM vestibule...被困在提款机室wth Jill Goodacre!我听不懂你在说什么I have no idea what you just said.叫乔伊听电话Put Joey on the phone.怎么了What's up man?我和吉尔·古达克I'm trppd... in an ATM vestibule...被困在提款机室wth Jill Goodacre.噢我的天那Oh my God!他和吉尔·古达克被困在提款机室He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! 钱德勒听着Chandler, listen.别以为我没这个念头Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.换人快Alright, somebody.OK, I'll go.大四在台球桌上OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.这就是我妹啦That's my sister.我最奇怪的地方是在OK... my weirdest place would have to be...纽约市立图书馆the women's room on the second floor of二楼女厕所the New York CIty public library.拜托你去图书馆干什么Oh my God! What were you doing in a library? 菲比你呢Pheebs, what about you?密尔瓦基市Oh... Milwaukee.罗斯Um... Ross?迪士尼 1989年小小世界Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.' 不可能No way!The ride broke down.所以我和卡罗尔就到So, Carol and I went behind荷兰机器娃娃后面a couple of those mechanical Dutch children...一会机器修好了then they fixed the ride,从此他们禁止我们再到奇幻王国去and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. -瑞秋呢 -拜托我说过了- Oh, Rachel. - Oh come on, I already went.-你才没那 -快点告诉我们- You did not go! - Come on.好吧最奇怪的地方是Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be...床脚oh, the foot of the bed.注意我们今晚的赢家出现了Step back. We have a winner!我从没有那种关系也没那种激情冲动I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion,你知道么那种在主题公园中央you know, where you have to have somebody right there,升腾起来的欲火难耐的心情in the middle of a theme park.当时只有这件事可做Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line. 就是这个意思There, well, see?巴瑞连在打迷你高尔夫时也不肯亲我Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.少来Come on.真的他说这样会耽误后面的人No, he said we were holding up the people behind us.你逃婚的原因是And you didn't marry him because...?你有没有觉得有一种人会一辈子I mean, do you think there are people都庸庸碌碌从未拥有过某种who go through life never having that kind of...也许吧Probably.但是我得告诉你But you know, I'll tell you something.-我们高估了恋爱中的激情 -是吗- Passion is way overrated. - Yeah right.真的激情最终会消退It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out.但双方仍保有信赖安全感和But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... 以我前妻为例女同志主义well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism.因此那些缺乏激情之人So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on还有其他可取之处that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.-明白 -但我想你不是那种人- OK. - But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.你也觉得不是You don't.我觉得你的未来将充满激情Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.-真的吗 -嗯- Really? - Mmmm.-真的吗 -真的-You do? - I do.罗斯你真是太了不起了Oh Ross, you're so great.你别妄想了It's never gonna happen.什么What?你和瑞秋You and Rachel.为什么Why not?因为你拖拖拉拉迟迟不肯行动Because you waited too long to make your move,现在只能待在"朋友区"and now you're in the friend zone.不不不我没在朋友区No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.罗斯你是朋友区主席Ross, you're mayor of the zone.我这是慢慢来行吗I'm taking my time, alright?我正在为以后铺路I'm laying the groundwork.每一天我都会更接近Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...变成神父Priesthood!罗斯她根本不知道你在想什么Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking.如果再不快点约她出去If you don't ask her out soon你将困在朋友区永世不得翻身you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.我会的我只是在等恰当的时机I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment.干吗什么现在吗What? What, now?对哦Yeeeeaaaahhh!你犹豫个什么劲儿啊What's messing you up?美酒烛光月光The wine? The candles? The moonlight?你只需走到她面前说You've just got to go up to her and say,瑞秋我想'Rachel, I think that...'你在嘘什么What are you shushing?我们嘘是因为我们正在听We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. 听什么What?难道你没听见Don't you hear that?听见没See?想来片口香糖吗Would you like some gum?无糖的吗Um, is it sugarless?抱歉不是Sorry, it's not.不谢了Oh, then no thanks.你在搞什么东西What the hell was that?切记吉尔·古达克请你吃口香糖你就吃Mental note : If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. 她叫你吃动物死尸你也得吃If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.*纽约大停电**New York City has no power,**牛奶变酸**and the milk is getting sour.**不过没什么好怕的**But to me it is not scary,**因为我不吃奶制品**because I stay away from dairy*-我要去了 -你决定啦- OK, here goes. - Are you going to do it? 我决定了I'm going to do it.需要帮助吗Do you want any help?如果你想当电灯泡你就死定了You come out there, you're a dead man. 祝你幸运Good luck, man.-你要去哪里 -外面- Hey, where are you going? - Outside. 不行你不能去外面You can't go out there.为什么Why not?因为有理由Because of... the reason.什么理由And that would be?我不能告诉你I, um, can't tell you.-乔伊到底怎么了Joey, what's going on?好吧但你得答应我OK, you've got to promise that不会告诉罗斯是我说的you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you. 说什么About what?他正在准备你的生日派对He's planning your birthday party.天啊我爱他Oh my God! I love him!你最好装成一副吃惊的样子You'd better act surprised.--装什么 -我的生日派对- About what? - My surprise party!-什么派对 -少装蒜了- What surprise party? - Oh stop it.乔伊已经告诉我了Joey already told me.他没有告诉我Well, he didn't tell me.别看我这是罗斯的主意Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing.每次都这样This is so typical.我总是最后知道的人I'm always the last one to know everything.你不是我们都有告诉你No, you are not. We tell you stuff.才怪钱德勒在动物园被孔雀咬Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know我是最后知道的人when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo.乔伊刚搬来时你对他有意思I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey 我也是最后知道when he was moving in.什么What?看来我是倒数第二知道的Looks like I was second to last.感觉好好Hmmm... this is so nice.我有个问题OK, I have a question. .实际上也谈不上是问题Well, actually, it's not so much a question as..更类似于好奇心more of a general wondering... ment是这样的OK. Here goes.这些日子以来我一直想For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....对没错Yes, yes, that's right...瞧那只小猫 -什么- Oh, look at the little cat! - What? Ow!*我站在世界之巅**I'm on top of the world,*{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}《TOP OF THE WORLD》*俯瞰芸芸丛生却只找到一种解释**looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find,*消炎喷雾而已不会痛的This is just Bactine. It won't hurt.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}拜尔公司出产的伤口急救喷雾剂对不起那是蜡油Sorry, that was wax.可怜的小猫快吓死了Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death.我们得找到它的主人We should find his owner.我们干吗不直接将它放在走廊里Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall? 正在大停电它会被踩死的During a blackout? He'd get trampled!-是吗Yeah?考虑之后口香糖是绝佳的选择You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. 口香糖是绝佳的选择'Gum would be perfection'?,'口香糖是绝佳的选择'Gum would be perfection.'我大可说"口香糖也不错"Could have said 'gum would be nice,'或是"我也来一片"or 'I'll have a stick"不行不行but no, no, no, no."口香糖是绝佳的选择"就可以了For me, gum is perfection.我真鄙视我自己I loathe myself.不孟德斯家讨厌一切活物Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, 你好我们刚捡到这只猫Hi. We just found this cat现在正在找它的主人and we're looking for the owner.对猫是我的Er, yeah, it's mine.可是它似乎很讨厌你He seems to hate you.你确定吗Are you sure?确定猫是我的把猫给我Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.等等它叫什么名字Wait a minute. What's his name?鲍勃钮扣Ehhhh... B-Buttons.-鲍勃钮扣Bob Buttons?过来鲍勃钮扣来鲍勃钮扣Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.你真是个大坏蛋Oooh! You are a very bad man!你们欠我一只猫You owe me a cat.小猫咪过来小猫咪Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty.你上哪儿去了小猫咪小猫咪Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty... 小猫咪小猫咪过来小猫咪Kitty, kitty, kitty. Come here, kitty, kitty. -嗨 -晚上好[意大利语]- Hi. - Buona sera.来吧幸运六Come on. Lucky sixes....各位他是保罗保罗Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo,我来向你介绍我的朋友I want you to meet my friends.这位是莫妮卡This is Monica.这位是乔伊And Joey....还有罗斯And Ross.他不太会讲英语He doesn't speak much English.-地产大亨 -不错嘛- Monopoly! - Look at that!那么保罗是哪里人So, um... where did Paolo come from?意大利吧我猜Oh... Italy, I think.不我是指今晚No, I mean tonight,这栋公寓突然闯入我们的生活in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.那只猫那只猫是保罗的Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat! 是不是很有意思Is that funny?真有意思而且瑞秋还不断摸他That, that is funny... and Rachel keeps touching him. 我找遍了整栋公寓Alright. I looked all over the building但就是找不到猫and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.我找到了是保罗的猫Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.瞧我又是最后一个知道的Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again!由于没人告诉我我猜他就是保罗吧And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo. 保罗她叫菲比Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.没错You betcha!看一下下一步是什么吹泡泡Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble.吹泡泡好展现A bubble's good. It's got a...大男孩的魅力很顽皮boyish charm, it's impish.来吧Here we go.吹得好啊小鬼不要紧Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK.我只需把手伸过去All I need to do is reach over将它放回口中and put it in my mouth.救得好Good save!现在我已重回轨道We're back on track,而且还嚼着别人的口香糖and I'm...chewing someone else's gum.这不是我的口香糖This is not my gum.天哪天哪现在你还被噎到了Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking. 你没事吧Are you alright?天呀你噎到了My God, you're choking!感觉好点没That better?好多了Yes.谢谢刚才真是Thank you. That was... that was....绝佳的选择Perfection?他讲什么呢那么好笑Wha-What did he say that was so funny?我完全搞不懂I have absolutely no idea.女人都这样That's... that's classic.天啊我在干什么我在干什么啊Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? 这太不像我了This is so un-me!不介意的话我要上了If you want, I'll do it.我知道I know,我只想咬他的下嘴唇I just want to bite his bottom lip.但我不会的But I won't.上帝啊他第一次对我微笑时God, the first time he smiled at me...那三秒钟比我和巴瑞在百慕达those three seconds were more exciting than待三个礼拜还令我兴奋three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.你骑摩托车吗You know, did you ride mopeds?因为我听说Because I've heard...好吧不是聊这个的时候明白Oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.我知道这样很肤浅Y'know, I know it's totally superficial而且我们毫无共通点and we have absolutely nothing in common,连语言也不通但上帝哟and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd.... 保罗Paolo.罗斯Hi.Ross!听着Listen. Um,听着listen.um,有件事你该知道Something you should... know...瑞秋和我Rachel and I...有那么点意思we're kind of a thing.意思Thing?你俩做爱了Ah, you... have the sex?没No,没没技术上而言还没做爱no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, 但是呢这不是重点but that's... see, that's not the point.重点是See, um, the point is that...瑞秋和我Rachel and I应该在一起should be, er, together.而如果你横插一脚在You know, and if you get in the.... um...床上Bed?不是我不是指那个No, that's not where I was going.如果你让我们无法成一对Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, 我会非常难过then I would be, well, very sad.你懂一点英文So you do know a little English.会一点Poco... a leetle.对你懂什么叫大骗子吗Do you know the word crap weasel?-不懂 -有意思- No. - That's funny,因为你就是你是个超级大骗子because you know, you are a huge crap weasel!钱德勒我们已玩了一小时Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this!很简单的准备好没Now watch, it's easy. OK. Ready?试试看Try it.不你该拍一下No, you've got to whip it.看看看最后一根蜡烛就要燃尽Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 负46 负47 负48negative 46, negative 47, negative 48-谢天谢地 -谢谢啊- Thank you. - Thanks.一点光都没有有点恐怖Kinda... spooky without any lights.听着听着我这个最逼真OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one罗斯现在表白貌似不太是时候Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, 但你得为莫妮卡开个派对but you have to throw a party for Monica.-玩得真开心 -是啊- Well, this has been fun. - Yes.对谢谢你将手机借我用Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone...并救了我的命and for saving my life.再见了钱德勒Well, goodbye Chandler.这次的停电经历很欢乐I had a great blackout.再见See ya.我的账户号码是7143457Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457.我不知道你有没有录到And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that,但我想要这卷录影带的拷贝but I would really like a copy of the tape.。

-好嘛 -菲比— Alright. - Phoebe?好了好了如果有一天我变得无所不能Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day，我想要I would want, um,世界和平不再有饥饿world peace, no more hunger，雨林不再遭受破坏good things for the rain-forest。

.还有更大的胸部And bigger boobs！好吧你把我的愿望也说了Yeah, see..。

you took mine。

钱德勒你呢Chandler, what about you?如果有一天我变得全能Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day，我要让自己变得永远全能I'd。

.. make myself omnipotent forever。

看吧总有这样的人See, there's always one guy。

"给我一个愿望我就要更多的愿望””If I had a wish,I'd wish for three more wishes。

"-嘿乔伊—嘿哥们- Hey， Joey. - Hey, Buddy。

乔伊如果你变得全能你会怎样Joey，what would you do if you were omnipotent？｛\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad（0,0）\b0\pos（374,247）}音似impotent[阳痿］大概是自杀吧Probably kill myself!什么。

Excuse me?如果我的"二弟”死了Hey，if Little Joey’s dead，我也没理由活下去了then I got no reason to live!乔伊是"全能"Joey， uh- Omnipotent。

{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos（374，247）}音似I’m impotent［我阳痿]你吗罗斯对不起You are？ Ross， I'm sorry.她是怎么办到的How does she do that?我在公共场合根本睡不着I cannot sleep in a public place.你看她睡得那么安祥Would you look at her？ She is so peaceful.怎么了Oh！ What what what!没事你只是又打瞌睡了It’s okay, y'know, you just nodded off again.你是怎么了What’s going on with you？-我昨晚没睡好—为什么- I got no sleep last night！— Why？我奶奶交了一个新男友My grandmother have a new boyfriend，他俩在床上翻来覆去而且他们还耳聋and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf.于是两人一直不断地So they’re constantly, like，互相确认对方是否尽兴having to reassure each other that they're having a good time.你根本不晓得有多吵You have no idea how loud they are！如果你愿意今晚可以跟我和瑞秋睡Well， if you want，you can stay with Rachel and me tonight。