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最新英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子在天堂结婚，笑破你肚子的英语笑话，尽在。
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"代课教师试图运用她的学知识。
开始上课时，她说：“谁觉得自己很愚蠢，请站起来。
”小约翰马上站起来了。
老师问：“为什么你觉得你很愚蠢呢，小约翰?”“我不觉得我很蠢，只是我不愿意你一个人站在那!”As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I postedthat sign, people kept tripping over him!"一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。
关于初中的英语笑话带翻译笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
本文是关于初中的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇一How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。
“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。
”老板狐疑地看着他。
“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。
”关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇二Three SurgeonsThree famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."三个外科医生三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。
简单英语冷笑话下面是学习啦我整理的简洁英语冷笑话，希望大家会宠爱!简洁英语冷笑话：轻率的插话The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her we could help and soughtthe assistance of the office manager. Youll never believe this one, I told him. I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, Dont tell me she hasnt received them yet!我所工作的精品家具商店是从20世纪二十年月以来就营业的。
最近我接到一个妇女的电话。
她想换一套餐具中的一些椅子。
这套餐具她是在三十年月从我们这儿买的。
我向她保证说我们可以帮她的忙，于是我向部门经理寻求关怀。
"你永久也不会信任，'我对他说，"我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在三十年月从我们这里买了一些椅子。
' 我还没来得及说她的要求，经理就打断了我的话："你别告知我她到如今还没收到货!'简洁英语冷笑话：他什么都没听到Working at the post office, Im used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, Whats the trouble?I went out this morning, she began, and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing! After apologizing, I got her parcel. Oh, good, she gushed. Weve been waiting for this for ages. What is it? I asked. My husbands new hearing aid.我在邮局上班，对于顾客们的各种心情早已习以为常了。
因为英语不通产生的笑话段子以下是一些因为英语不通而产生的笑话段子，仅供参考：1. 有一天，一个外国人走进了一家餐厅，他想要点一份煎蛋。
他用英语对服务员说：“I want a fried egg.”服务员一脸困惑地看着他，然后问道：“Do you want to fried or boiled egg?”外国人非常惊讶，回答道：“I don't know.I just want a fried egg.”服务员笑着解释道：“In English, we usually say 'fried' or 'boiled' egg. Not 'fried' egg.”2. 有一次，一个外国人在机场等待登机。
他看到一个标语写着“No Smoking”，于是他非常自觉地把烟熄灭了。
然后，他看到另一个标语写着“No Eating or Drinking”，于是他非常自觉地把饮料和零食都收起来了。
最后，他看到一个标语写着“No Flying”，他立刻把登机牌收起来，准备离开机场。
机场工作人员看到这一幕，忍不住笑了起来，告诉他：“那个标语的意思是‘禁止飞行’，不是‘禁止登机’。
”3. 有一天，一个外国人走进了一家服装店，他看到一件非常漂亮的衣服。
他用英语问店员：“How much is this?”店员回答道：“It's $100.”外国人非常惊讶，问道：“$100? That's too expensive!”店员解释道：“No, no. It's $100 per piece.”外国人非常尴尬，原来他以为这是一件衣服的价格，而实际上是每件$100。
4. 有一次，一个外国人在酒店办理入住手续时，他用英语对前台服务员说：“I have a reservation for two nights.”服务员一脸困惑地看着他，然后问道：“For how many people?”外国人回答道：“For two people.”服务员又问：“And what is the check-out time?”外国人回答道：“Check-out time?I don't know. I just want to check in.”服务员笑着解释道：“In English, we usually say 'check-in' and 'check-out'. Not 'check in' and 'check out'.”5. 有一次，一个外国人在机场等待登机时，他看到一个标语写着“Please fasten your seat belt”。
十分简单某日上物理课，老师宣布下节课要小考。
小明紧张地立即举手问老师会不会考得很难，老师只说了一句： 十分简单。
乐得大家拍手叫好，可是考完后每个人都考得惨不忍睹，怎么会简单呢？于是小明又问了老师，只听老师说：我可没说错哦，十分简单，剩下九十分很难！心理学测试一个新老师想运用一下所学的心理学。
一天上课后，她向她的学生说道：“请认为自己很蠢的同学站起来。
”几秒钟后，小三毛站了起来。
老师问他：“小三毛，你觉得自己很蠢，是吗？”“不，老师，我只是不愿意让您一个人站着。
”两个朋友在本地高尔夫球场打球。
一个人把棒杆高高举起，正要击球，突然发现路上有一个长长的送葬队伍。
他放下棒杆，闭上眼睛，祷告起来。
惊讶不已的朋友说：“这是我一辈子有幸看到的最感人至深的场面。
你真是个名副其实的大善人！”那个人结束祷告后答道：“是呀，要知道，我同她做了35年的夫妻！”美国人,法国人与中国人的二锅头（爆笑）一个美国人,一个法国人还有一个中国人走在大沙漠中,走着走着看到一个瓶子,打开瓶塞后飘出来一个人来,那个人说:“我是神仙,我能满足你们每个人三个愿望”。
美国人第一个抢着说:“我第一个愿望是要很多的钱。
”神仙说“这个简单,满足你！说说第二个愿望吧。
”美国人说:“我还要很多的钱!”。
神仙满足他的愿望后,美国人又说了他的第三个愿望:“把我弄回家。
”神仙说:“没问题。
”于是美国人带着很多的钱回了美国。
神仙又问法国人，法国人说:“我要美女!”。
神仙给了他美女，法国人又说:“我还要美女!”神仙也满足了他,给了他美女...法国人最后说到:“把我送回法国。
”神仙把法国人送回国后问中国人要什么，中国人说:“先来瓶二锅头吧。
”神仙给了他，问他第二个愿望是什么，中国人说:“再来一瓶二锅头!”神仙问他第三个愿望是什么，中国人说：“我挺想法国人和美国人的,你把他们都弄回来吧。
”法国人和美国人气的不得了,但又无可奈何,三个人只好继续走。
走着走着又看见一个瓶子,打开塞子后又冒出一个人来,那个人说：“我是刚才那个神仙的徒弟,法力没他高强,所以只能满足你们每个人两个愿望。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。
超简短的英文笑话超简短的英文笑话（精选5篇）超简短的英文笑话1On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
超简短的英文笑话2Professor: When is your birthday?Kid: May 30.Professor: Which year?Kid: Every year.教授：你的生日是什么时候?孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年?孩子：每年都是。
超简短的英文笑话3Before the final examination, T om told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam.""Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope Ill fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
那些年因为英语不好闹过的笑话那些因为英语不好闹过的笑话店铺我们会遇到很多障碍，什么水土不服，饮食不习惯，文化不适应等等，但是相比于这些来说，最大的障碍就是语言不通!我相信大部分小伙伴掌握的都是一紧张就全忘的哑巴英语，虽然每次考试成绩都高高在上，但碰到老外的时候依然会赶紧跑开或者是只能say声hi。
1、打电话叫taxi，对方问：where you from?我回答：china，心里还在想，叫个出租车还要问国籍吗?然后对方以为我在开玩笑，很郁闷的说sorry，we can’t do that。
我一听，火大了，咋地，还有种族歧视啊，就问：Why?对方愣了半天，挂了……后来我才明白人家是想问我去哪来接……2、同样的打车，司机问：where are you going?她想都没想就说：China。
然后对方说：well，you are going to China by…bus?3、一朋友去麦当劳点餐，付账的时候听不懂店员在说什么，只好一个劲的说yes, yes, yes。
Yes了半天后，后面的人终于忍不住了，鄙视的来了一句，人家问你薯条要那种size，你yes个毛啊!尴尬中……4、事情是这样的：CSR：&%^$&%#*^%￥……我：……Pardon?CSR：&%^$&%#*^%￥……我：……Pardon?CSR：&%^$&%#*^%￥……我：……I’m really sorry but I cannot understand you. Pardon?CSR：DID–YOU–HAVE–A–GOOD–DAY–TODAY?我：……5、加拿大人都很有礼貌这我们应该都知道了，把sorry挂在嘴边想必大家也有所听说了，所以一定要熟练掌握sorry的回答，我有一次在路上被人撞了一下，人家说sorry，我张口来了句you are welcome……6、同样是买东西，买完后付钱，casher说：@#￥[email protected]%……一朋友：yes。
英语小笑话适合初一的白痴老师If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂，先生，你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。
”交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。
点了两份饮料。
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.然后他们就从他们的公文包当中拿出三明治开始吃。
The waiter became quite concerned服务生感到相当不妥，and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches inhere!"就走过去告诉他们：“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治!”The attorneys looked each other ,这两位律师彼此看了一下对方，shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.耸耸他们的肩膀，然后就交换三明治。
励志简单的英文笑话带翻译笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。
小编精心收集了励志简单的英文笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!励志简单的英文笑话带翻译篇1Two robbers were robbing a hotel.两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。
The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧!”The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊!”The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信!”励志简单的英文笑话带翻译篇2A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
He takes his first sip and sets it down.他喝了一口放下。
While he is looking around the bar,当他环视酒吧时，a monkey swings down发现一只猴子荡下来，and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey.该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
The barman replies the piano player.服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer."男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
