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Hey, do me a favor and take table seven.You mean the one with my 118-Pound Rock-Hard stud of a fianc Who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?Nah, i prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-BoyfriendAnd his gorgeous, successful and sophisticated girlfriend,Who makes me feel like a toothless okie.Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?Oh, please-- You're not that kind of person.I know.But if she orders something low-FatI'll totally give her the full-Fat version.Uh, that's my water.- What?- My water. You're drinking it.D-Dear lord!- Have you been drinking it?- Yes. It's my water.Well, that's it then. I'm dead.Here we go...i'm sorry, do i really need to connect the dots for you?The backwash into this glassIs every pathogen that calls your mouth home, sweet home. Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue Of your subtropical girlfriend.Hey! That's my sister Andmy country you're talking about.Leonard may have defiled one,But I won't have you talking smack about the other.You guys ready to order?Yes, i'd like a seven-Day course of penicillin,Some, uh, syrup of ipecac-- To induce vomiting-- And a mint.- I don't understand.- He drank from leonard's glass."He drank from leonard's glass"--The words they'll be carving into my tombstone.That's actually my napkin.Oh, this is a nightmare!- Where are you going?- To the bar,To sterilize my mouth with alcohol.Gang way! Dead manwalking!All right. Here you go.Two lemonades, One iced teaAnd a root beer for priya.- Is it diet?- That's what you ordered.Thank you.Hey, have you and howardStarted planning your wedding yet?Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff Overlooking the ocean.Nothing soothes those pre-Wedding jitters Like the thought of falling and drowning. What did your mother say When you told her you were getting married?He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time.I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.Howard, you've gotto tell your mother.Hey, have you told your parentsyou'redating This short glass of skim milk here?Uh... that's different.First of all, we're not engaged;And second, indian parents Are very protective of their children.Right, right, whereas jewish mothersTake a casual, la-Di-Da approach to their sons.I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit.- You all right?- Fine. Thank you for asking.I love you so much.Fire demon.Ooh, fire demon. Sheldon's turning up the heat...troll master.Check it! Howard pulls one out From under the bridge. Nice!Water nymph.Oh, yeah, she's got puddles In all the right places.Could you please play the game Without commenting on every card?Sorry.Walking tree.- Last one.- I'm taking a stroll and i'm sporting wood.Okay, the eagle has landed.What's going on?Bernadette and my mother are havingA get-To-Know-You lunch at the old town deli.- Oh, that sounds lovely.- Hope so.Of course, if history is any indication,My mother will swallow her wholeAnd spit out her bones like an owl.- Have you met bernadette's parents?- You mean adolf and eva?Not yet.One goose step at a time.- Sheldon, that's my water.- Oh, dear lord!That's not your water.I know.where's the mouthwash?!"Where" indeed.ma, i'm home!- Where are you?- i'm in the toilet!So, how'd it go?!too soon to say!I'm not done yet!No, i mean lunch, today, with bernadette!oh! I had a pastrami sandwich.She had eggplant lasagna.Like that's what a person orders in a jewish deli. Besides food, did you get along?Did you talk?Oh, sure!Did you know she's going to schoolTo become a microbiologist?!No, she never mentioned it.I bet she did and you didn't listen!Yeah, that's probably it. So, what do you think?Do you like her?She's great, huh?She's a lovely girl! Cute as a button!That's good to hear,'cause i've got some news.I hope it's good news,Because i've got nothing but disappointment in here! Bernadette and I are getting married.Ma?You too busy bearing down?Ma? Oh, my god,ma? Ma? Ma?Stand back,i'm gonna break the door down!Son of a bitch! Ma, help!Hey.Hello.Haven't seen you in a while.How's it going?Oh, other than waiting out the exponentialgrowth period Of the virulent organismsTrooping through my microvilliInto my circulatory system--Hunky-Dory.Did i say something amusing?I don't know, maybe, i have no idea what you said.So your mirth is merelya discharge of nervous energyWith no semantic content at all?My mirth. Classic.Is there a station coming upWhere i can board your giggling train of thought?It's not a big deal, sheldon. It's just,ever since leonard's been Dating raj's sister,i've had to keep my distance.I don't get to hear all your jibber-Jabber.Jibber-Jabber?! I don't jibber-Jabber.What are you doing at work these days?Oh, i'm working on time-Dependent backgrounds In string theory, Specifically quantum field theoryIn "d-Dimensional" de sitter space.Okay, come on, even you have to admit that's jibber-Jabber. Interesting, do you know Wherethe phrase "jibber-Jabber" comes from?Oh, my god, you're about to jibber-Jabber About jibber-Jabber. Howard and his mother are at the hospital. Come on, we gotta go. - Oh, my god! What happened?- I don't know, i just got a text.- Come on, hurry.- Okay.Sheldon, let's go!To a hospital?! Full of sick people?!Oh, i don't think so.Okay, well, your friend and his mother are there, we're going.I can't.Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of germs.Not all germs.Just the ones that will kill me.It's the same way i'm not afraid of all steak knives--Just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax.Fine, i'll tell howard you didn't comeBecause you're more concerned About your own well-Being than his.I would thinkhe would know that.Okay, you know what?You are unbelievable. You buy all these superhero t-Shirts,But when it's time for you To step up and do the right thing,You just hide in the laundry room.Fine, i'll go.Just for the record, my aunt ruth died in a hospital.She went in to visit my uncle roger,Caught something and bit the dust a week later.The two of them now share a coffee canSo i knocked down the bathroom door,Picked up my poor unconscious mother,Carried her to the car,And drove like a madman to the emergency room.You're a real hero, howard.No, i did what any son would do.Hang on a second--You picked up your mother?Her own legs are barely able to do that.I was filled with adrenaline.It happens to be how women lift cars off babies.Yeah, i'm saying, it'd be easier to lift a car.What can i tell you?After i found the courage To puther pants back on, i was unstoppable.So, how is she?They're running tests-- I don't know.It may have been a heart attack or heart-Attack-Like event.What's the difference?A heart-attack-like event is an event that's like a heart attack. Thanks for clearing that up.Regardless, coronary problems are eminently treatable.What's more likely going to kill Howard's motherare the antibiotic-resistant super-bugs festeringin every nook and cranny of this hospital.Okay, you're not helping.Disagree.Go sit over there.I'll sit over there--it looks cleaner.Is there a history of heart disease in your family?My family is the historyof heart disease.There's a cave painting in Franceof one of my ancestors doing this:So it's probably genetic.Well, maybe.Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her. It's not important.Come on, Howard, I'm going to be your wife.You can share anything with me.You'd think that. But no.You told her we were going to get marriedand she had a heart attack?You can't take that personally.How else is she supposed to take it?What you've got to keep in mind is thatever since my dad left,I've been the whole world to my mother.I mean, she'd be threatened by any womanwho can give me what she can't.You mean sexual intercourse?Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.What happened?Howard's mother had a heart attackbecause I have sex with him and she can't.Bernie, wait!I'll give you $1,000 if you'll drive me home.Nice of you to come for Howard.Well, he's my friend.It's what you do.I'm sorry, did I miss something?It's just so weird.Howard Wolowitz is my friend.You know, once he tried to stick his tonguedown my throat and I broke his nose.That's a little easier to believethan he's your friend.Yeah, tell me about it.You know, my brother had a group of friends like this in India. They dressed up in leotards and gogglesand called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.You mean when he was little.Not as little as you'd want him to be.You know, this stuff is horrible.You want to see if we can find the cafeteria and get real coffee?Sure.We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee. You want anything?I'm fine.That's nice thatthey're getting along.Your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriendare hanging out together?Oh, yeah, that can only be good for you.What are you talking about?One of them broke up with you.Do you really want her telling the other one why?I don't care. I don't have anything to hide.Good, good. Then you havenothing to worry about.No, I do not.You are a mean little man.You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me,but actually they loved me a great deal.Bernie, it's not you.She's just set in her ways.How can we be togetherif the thought of us getting married might kill your mother?It's the circleof life, sweetie.One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.Howard, I have to go to the bathroomand no one will take me home.What's wrong with the bathroom here?Pneumococcus, streptococcus staphylococcus，and other assorted coccuses. Sheldon, my mother is on her deathbedand my fiance is grief-stricken over putting her there.I'm not taking you home.Will you at least go with me to the restroom here,so you can open the door and flush the urinal?No!This might be a good time to point out, Howard,that friendship requires a certain give and take.Hold the door.Mr. Wolowitz?Is she okay?It wasn't a heart attack.She's awake, she's resting comfortably--we're still running tests. Can I see her?Actually, she said, and I quote,she'd "like to see the little Catholic girl first."Me? Why me?Jews have been asking that for centuries.There's no real good answer.Okay, well, wish me luck.Don't worry, you'll be fine.Let's just hide Mr. Cross.If it touches her,it burns.You brought a Catholic girl home to your mother?Yeah.Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax.Finally.Oh, what fresh hell is this?Wait, you can't leave here, you've been exposed.No, I haven't.It's all good.You want to talk about crazy mothers,Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any sort of approval growing up. Oh, the poor thing.It makes him desperate to please women.That's why the foreplay goes on and on.It does, doesn't it?It's like he's trying to win a prize.A word of advice-- don't doze off. You will never hear the end of it. Help me! Come back! Penny!There are a couple of things I didwith Penny that might be a little silly, but...Like what?Every once in a while, before we'd go to bed,I'd put on a little show for her.What do you mean"a show"?Well, you know, the way I took my clothes off.Like, to music?I'd look pretty stupid if there was no music.So you'd do a striptease?I wasn't swinging around a pole.Good, good.There was one time I put body glitter on.Well, I don't think you have to worry about Penny telling my sister that. No, she wouldn't.Your big problem is me telling her.You really are a mean little man.Oh, God, that's so true.I know, right?Hey, what took you guys so long?Oh, we were just chatting.That's nice. What about?We were just comparing notes about how you are in the sack.- That's funny.- Yeah.What if she wasn't kidding?It doesn't matter. I'm the king of foreplay.Hey, how'd it go?You're a putz. You know what that means?Yeah. Do you?Your mother just taught it to me.She thinks she got food poisoning from that deliand she just wanted to make sure I was okay.And are you?No, because I'm engaged to a putz.You let me believe I was the reason she had a heart attack.- Well, based on the available evid--- Shut up!She said I'm a wonderful girl and that you're lucky to have me. Where are you going?To the toilet! Is that okay with you?!Mountain Elf.He takes the elffrom off the shelf.Hell Hounds.Hell Hounds--who let the Satanic dogs out?Who? Who-who?Colossal Serpent.I got a colossal serpent right here.Must you?Sorry, I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up.Rotting Zombie. Sheldon's newFacebook photo.Zandor, Wizard of the North.Ha! I win.If you skip the part about beingunder a two-week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease-- absolutely.。
“部编本”语文上册《四季》敎学设计教材分析:《四季》是一首富有童趣的儿歌.作者通过对春天的草芽、夏天的荷叶、秋天的谷穗和冬天的雪人这几种代表性事物的描述,表现了春、夏、秋、冬四季的不同特点,表达了对四季的喜爱之情.全文共四个小节,运用拟人化的写法,语言亲切且富有情趣.使用叠词,富于童趣且朗朗上口,各小节语言句式、结构大致相同,便于学生仿说.敎学目标:1、认识“尖、说”等9个生字和言字旁、虫字旁、折文3个偏旁,读准多音字“地”的字音；会写“天、四、是”3个字.2、正确朗读課文,背诵課文.初步了解四季的特征.3、模仿課文,说说自己喜欢的季节.敎学重点:朗读課文,背诵課文.敎学难点:认识折文等3个偏旁,会写“四、天、是”3个字.敎学准备:多媒体課件課时安排: 2課时第一課时一、正确朗读課文,初步了解四季的特征,感受四季的美丽.二、认识“尖、说”等9个生字和言字旁、虫字旁、折文3个偏旁,读准多音字“地”的读音；会写“四”字.三、学习第一小节,感受春天的美好.第二課时課时目标:1、学习課文第二至第四小节,熟读成诵.2、了解夏、秋、冬3个季节的特征,感受不同季节的美丽.3、巩固生字,会写“天、是”2个字.4、能仿照課文说说自己喜欢的季节.敎学过程:一、課时回顾,导入新課.1、师板书課题,生书空.2、巩固已认识的9个生字和多音字“地”.2、师生合作朗读課文.(此环节主要是复习上一課时,巩固已学的生字,朗读課文整体感知,为本課时的学习做好准备.）二、图文结合,朗读感悟（一）学习第二小节1、生自由朗读第二小节,说说不明白的地方.2、引导学生思考:荷叶为什么说“他”是夏天?3、复习生字“夏”,请学生说说夏天还有那些特征.4、欣赏夏天的图片,感受夏天的热闹.5、指导朗读背诵.引导读出夏天的热闹；师生合作朗读；生试着背诵.（第二小节的敎学主要是引导学生体会夏天的热闹,了解夏天的特征.通过朗读背诵,对学生进行语感的培养.）（二）学习第三、四节1、生自由朗读,同桌交流:为什么谷穗说“他”是秋天,为什么雪人说“他”就是冬天?2、学生自学,讨论汇报.（1）结合学生汇报,导入第三小节的学习.指名朗读.思考:谷穗成熟时是什么样子的?复习生字“弯”,还有什么是“弯弯的”?学生动作演示“鞠躬”:谷穗在秋天成熟了,都变得弯弯的,就像小朋友在弯腰鞠躬一样.生配上动作读一读,感受秋的喜悦、谷穗的有礼貌.欣赏秋天的图片,感受秋天的美丽.（2）结合学生汇报,出示課文第四小节.教师引读“我就是冬天”,指导读好多音字“地”.,复习生字“就”,指导用“就是”说话.动作表演朗读,感受冬天的快乐.欣赏冬天的图片,感受冬天的美丽.3、合作朗读,表演背诵（1）四人合作朗读读課文.（2）引导学生借助板书背诵課文.（三、四小节的敎学,旨在引导学生在朗读中感悟,在感悟中加深对秋季冬季的了解,对自然的热爱,同时随文识字解词.）三、想象说话,创作新诗1、引导学生比较发现诗的一二小节和三四小节在表达上的不同.2、自编新诗:你最喜欢哪个季节,仿照課文说一说.（）,他（）说:“我是（）.3、展示学生创作的新诗.（创作新诗对的学生来说是个难点,通过朗读比较让学生发现这首诗在表达上的特点,从而产生创作的欲望,在创作中训练学生的语言表达能力.）四、观察比较,指导书写1課件出示課文,标出两个要书写的字——“天、是”,指导学生观察,比较发现异同.2、指导书写“天、是”（1）教师在田字格范写,学生书空.（2）学生先描红再书写,教师巡视辅导.（3）反馈点评,展示优秀书写.（书写指导选择“天、是”这两个字,旨在引导学生发现两个撇、捺书写的区别,培养学生良好的观察能力和写字习惯.）板书四季春草芽夏荷叶秋谷穗冬雪人。
