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超级好笑的英语笑话集锦笑话是幽默的语言表达。
它是一种常见的幽默传达方式。
笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。
下面是店铺带来的超级好笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!超级好笑的英语笑话篇一直言不讳My husband bought me an automatic dishwasher for my birthday. In filling out the guarantee，he came across the question，“What year and model dishwasher did you're place?"He wrote:"Wife—Age 24".我丈夫在我生日那天给我买了台全自动洗碗机。
在填写保修单叶，他看到里面有一项是:“你替换的旧洗碗机是哪年生产的，什么型号?”我丈夫写道:“妻子—24岁”。
超级好笑的英语笑话篇二梦幻世界A hotel manager in a small town reports that a guest woke up everyone in the hotel screaming，"It's in the phone book! It's in the the phone book!"饭店经理报告说一名客人把所有的人都吵醒了，他不停地尖叫:“就在电话薄里，就在电话薄里。
”The manager got the house detective and they let themselves into the man's room，where they found him in the midst of a nightmare. "I was having a horrible dream，”the man explained when awakened. "I dreamed the income-tax people wanted to send me a big refund, but they'd lost my address!"经理找来侦探后，带他进入了那位客人的房间。
关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。
而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。
今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。
我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。
从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。
轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。
下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。
轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。
我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。
那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。
三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。
其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。
笑到肚子疼的英语笑话笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。
下面是店铺带来的笑到肚子疼的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!笑到肚子疼的英语笑话篇一Seeking His Fortune 闯世界A bright boy left his family, going to new York to seek his fortune. None of his family seemed to doubt that he would gain success and wealth.Several months passed without a word from him. One cold winter afternoon his father received a note from him at last. It was scribbled1(潦草地书写) in pencil on a small piece of oldwrapping2 paper.He wrote: "Pa, now I'm under the old bridge. Meet me tomorrow night and bring with you a blanket or a suit of clothes."一个生机勃勃的少年离开家人，到纽约去闯世界。
他的家人好像都很相信他会成功，获得财富。
几个月过去了，他却杳无音讯。
一个严冬的下午他的父亲终于收到了他写的一个便条，是用铅笔潦草地写在一小片旧的包装纸上的。
他写的是：“爸爸，我现在就在那座旧桥下面，明天晚上来接我吧。
要带一条毛毯或一套衣服来。
”笑到肚子疼的英语笑话篇二A stingy traveler 节俭的旅行家Once a traveler wanted to visit Springfield by train. He went up to a ticket window and said to theconductor1, "I want a ticket for Springfield.""Which Springfield?" asked the conductor, "Springfield, Massachusetts; Springfield, Ohio; Springfield, Missouri; or Springfield, Illinois?" "Well, which is the cheapest?" asked thetraveler.有个旅行家想乘火车去游览斯普林菲尔德。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。
英语幽默笑话笑话一：一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上，看到窗户上写着：“免费学习英语，从零开始。
”于是，它翘起了尾巴，挺起了胸脯，然后大声地说道：“Polly wants a cracker!”（小鹦鹉想要个饼干!）这时，里面的老师听到了声音，走过来看窗户，发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说：“你来这里学习英语吗？”鸟点点头。
老师继续说：“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗？”鸟听后想了一下，然后顺利地说道：“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”（早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明！）老师忍不住惊讶地说：“哇，你的英语真是棒极了！你是怎么学会的？”鸟笑着回答：“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”（嗯，其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语！）笑话二：失踪的手机一天晚上，一位英国中学生在回家的路上，不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了，已经回到家了，于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说：“别担心，我帮你打个电话，看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话，手机立刻就响了起来，但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说：“嗨，我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗？”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音：“是的，我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗？”爸爸回答：“是的，我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问：“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗？我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢！”笑话三：英语课上的问题一天在英语课上，老师问学生们一个问题：“如果今天是过去的昨天，明天是过去的明天，那么今天是星期几？”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思，似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时，一个学生举手回答道：“老师，今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他：“为什么你认为今天是星期二？”学生回答：“因为我们是星期一上的英语课！”笑话四：一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起，开始聊天。
英语幽默小笑话100个笑话是一种能够带给人快乐，平添生活乐趣的文凭形式，以其机智、幽默、搞笑的特点，深受人们喜爱。
英语幽默小笑话就是一种给人带来快乐的黑色幽默渐层，也是美国人的一大特色文化。
以下是100个英语幽默小笑话：1、A: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?B: Dam!2、Q: What did the policeman say to his belly?A: Freeze!3、Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left it.4、Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, and I hang around.5、Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?A: He wanted to improve his bite.6、Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?A: Dam!7、Q: What did the tree say to autumn?A: Leaf me alone.8、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!9、Q: What did the monster say when he swallowed a clown?A: You taste funny.10、Q: Why don scientists trust atoms?A: Because they make up everything.11、Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.12、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.13、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug.14、Q: Why don vampires like going to parties?A: They don like to get sucked into conversations.15、Q: What did the bee say when it hit the window?A: Oh, buzz off!16、Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?A: Because he was outstanding in his field.17、Q: What did the barrel say to the other barrel?A: We can stand each other!18、Q: How do you make a hoodie laugh?A: Tell it a joke hoodie-style.19、Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.20、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.21、Q: why don astronauts play cards in space?A: Because they float away!22、Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.23、Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?A: Nothing, it just baa-ed.24、Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?A: Odor in the court!25、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!26、Q: What did the helium balloon say to the air?A: Nothing, it just let out a little squeak.27、Q: What did the computer say when it crashed?A: Hey, I having a bad day!28、Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?A: Nice belt!29、Q: What did the paperclip say to the magnet?A: I find you very attractive.30、Q: What did the silverware say to the plate?A: You complete me!31、Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?A: Aye matey!32、Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!33、Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? A: You too young to smoke!34、Q: What did the clock say to the other clock?A: Don worry, I right behind you.35、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!36、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!37、Q: What did the hamburger say to the hotdog?A: We make a great pair!38、Q: What did the rain say to the dirt?A: Let go make some mud pies!39、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!40、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?A: Dam!41、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug!42、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!43、Q: What did the alien say to the dad?A: Take me to your leader!44、Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?A: Hold on to your leaves!45、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!46、Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?A: Let go for a hop!47、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!48、Q: What did the rock say to the cliff?A: Hang in there!49、Q: What did the letter say to the envelope?A: Let stick together!50、Q: What did the mama bee say to her lazy bee?A: Wake up and Bee productive!51、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!52、Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?A: You crack me up!53、Q: What did the key say to the lock?A: It so nice to see you again!54、Q: What did the snail say to the turtle?A: Hurry up!55、Q: What did the cowboy say to the cactus?A: How it hanging?56、Q: What did the doctor say to the patient?A: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.57、Q: What did the bicycle say to the car?A: You may be faster, but I more fun!58、Q: What did the two antennas say to each other? A: You look good, girl!59、Q: What did the octopus say to the philosopher? A: I think, therefore I am eight!60、Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand? A: Let get to work!61、Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato? A: You looking a little red today.62、Q: What did the duck say to the waiter?A: Put it on my bill.63、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!A: Bee yourself!65、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Worm your way out!66、Q: What did the fish say to the whale?A: You a big fish in a small pond.67、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!68、Q: What did the teapot say to the cup?A: Time for a cup of tea!69、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Buzz off!70、Q: What did the noodle say to the other noodle? A: Let have a pasta party!71、Q: What did the alarm clock say to the bed?A: Time to wake up!72、Q: What did the tree say to the wind?A: Leaf me alone!73、Q: What did the tree say to the other tree?A: What a re-leaf!74、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!A: You looking sharp!76、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: Let work it out!77、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Wanna come out and play?78、Q: What did the elephant say to the mouse?A: You so tiny!79、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Let make honey!80、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!81、Q: What did the frog say to the fly?A: Time for dinner!82、Q: What did the pizza say to the oven?A: Let get cooking!83、Q: What did the fish say when it saw a boat?A: That a big hook!84、Q: What did the elephant say when he saw the mouse? A: That tiny!85、Q: What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? A: We have a lot in common!86、Q: What did the ball say to the other ball?A: Let play catch!87、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Bee mine!88、Q: What did the ice cream cone say to the other ice cream cone?A: Let have a scoop!89、Q: What did the tree say to the axe?A: Chop chop!90、Q: What did the pencil say to the eraser?A: Let work it out!91、Q: What did the horse say when it tripped?A: Neigh!92、Q: What did the scarecrow say when it got promoted? A: I outstanding in my field!93、Q: What did the pelican say to the other pelican? A: Let go for a dive!94、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Hey, bee-friend!95、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Let make honey!96、Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!97、Q: What did the firefly say to the other firefly? A: Let light up the night!98、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!99、Q: What did the spider say to the fly?A: You in my web now!100、Q: What did the bee say to the beekeeper?A: Let me out of this hive!从上述100个英语幽默小笑话可以看出，英语幽默小笑话涵盖了生活中的各种场景，不论是小动物、植物、机械还是自然现象，都能以机智、幽默、搞笑的方式进行描述。
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
20篇简短英语笑话1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!5. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!7. Why don't oysters donate to charity?Because they are shellfish!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!9. Why don't scientists trust stairs?Because they're always up to something!10. What kind of shoes do thieves wear?Sneakers!11. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!12. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!13. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!14. How do you organize a space party?You planet!15. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems!16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!17. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?All of the fans left!18. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?King Cod!19. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!20. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!总结：以上是20个简短的英语笑话，每个笑话都是一个独立的小故事，通过幽默诙谐的句子展示出逗人发笑的效果。
简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里，因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳，因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。
英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天，小明走进教室，发现黑板上写着一行字：“I'm very good!（我很好！）”于是他皱了皱眉，拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字：“I'm good too, thank you!（我也很好，谢谢！）”当小明坐下时，他才发现旁边的黑板上写着：“I'm a blackboard!（我是一个黑板！）”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。
他走到狮子旁边，然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。
突然，狮子怒吼一声，跳到笼子外面。
John 吓得立刻跑了起来。
然而，狮子并没有追赶他，反而开始用爪子挖土，好像在等待什么。
John 一边跑一边回头看，这时突然明白过来，原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土，这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。
三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适，于是他去了医院。
医生给将军把脉后说：“将军，您需要多休息，少工作。
”将军愤怒地说：“我是将军，我必须站在最前线，为国家效力！”医生点点头，继续说道：“我明白了，将军。
那么我们就把床移到最前线吧！”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人，一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。
当他们来到一个孤岛时，他们被困在那里了。
他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。
一个月后，美国人挨饿了，但看到了一点希望。
他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。
几天后，一架直升飞机来把他救走了。
两个月后，英国人饿得快死了，但他坚信救援一定会来。
于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。
几天后，一个军舰把他救了起来。
而中国人一直没有食物，他只好靠椰子充饥。
六个月后，他终于爬到了岛的最高峰，大喊一声：“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人！”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅，服务员领他坐下，然后递给他菜单。
一会儿，服务员走过来问：“先生，您想点什么？”顾客犹豫了一下，然后说道：“给我请一个有人性的厨师。
”服务员笑笑，离开了。
等了一会儿，服务员回来了，手上端着一个镜子。
他把镜子递给顾客说：“先生，这是我们厨师的倒影。
又幽默又短的英语笑话对于笑话，可能只是文字游戏，但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用，知道英语笑话有哪些吗?下面是小编给大家带来的又幽默又短的英语笑话_有趣的笑话英语小短文，以供大家参考，我们一起来看看吧!又幽默又短的英语笑话(一)一切都正常A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned." "You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?" "Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."又幽默又短的英语笑话(二)老谋深算There was a 75-year-old multi-millionaire who had just married a beautiful 18-year-old blond girl. So his friends asked him, "How did you manage to get an 18-year-old girl to marry you, when you're 75?"And the old man replied, "I told her I was 99, so she would marry me quick!"又幽默又短的英语笑话(三)吝啬鬼的聚会The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"又幽默又短的英语笑话(四)导盲犬帮我看A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."又幽默又短的英语笑话(五)林肯过生日Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.又幽默又短的英语笑话(六)三只乌龟Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee。
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
幽默的英语笑话以下是六个幽默的英语笑话及翻译：1. Why is the doctor so angry? （为什么医生那么生气？）Because he has no patience.（因为他没有耐心呀。
）笑点：耐心=patience，病人（复数形式）=patients，两个词读音相似，一语双关。
2. What is the longest word in the English language?（英语里最长的单词是？)Smiles. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.（Smiles，因为它的首尾字母之间隔了一英里那么长。
)笑点：翻译时需要保留smiles，因为中文不分单复数，这里规避了字面意义上的最长，而是利用了单词mile 的含义。
3. What do you call a deer with no eyes?（你把没有眼睛的鹿叫做什么？）No idea.（不知道。
）笑点：deer 和idea 读音相似，这里是谐音梗。
4. Two cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?（两只猫在屋顶上，哪只先滑下来？）The one with the smaller mew!（叫声更小的那只！）笑点：mew 是猫叫的拟声词，这里也可以理解为mu（摩擦系数），根据物理定律，摩擦系数越小，物体越容易滑动。
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?（当你把一个雪人跟一个吸血鬼结合起来，会得到什么？）Frostbite.（霜冻。
）笑点：frostbite 有霜冻和冻伤的意思，这里是双关。
6. What's the best thing to put into a pie?（什么东西放在馅饼里最好？）Your teeth.（你的牙齿。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。
幽默英语小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的幽默英语小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!幽默英语小笑话：The MonkeyA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”幽默英语小笑话：绝配A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?""Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."一个富有的主妇很是骄傲因为她收藏了一件非常有价值的古董花瓶，于是她决定把卧室粉刷成与花瓶同样的颜色。
一．A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"只剩一个引擎一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。
但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。
只是我们要因此晚到一小时。
” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。
但请你们相信好了。
只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。
” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。
”二.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。
门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。
”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”“你的双手得拿礼物啊。
天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
三.My First and My LastWhen George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。
不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."乔治有个朋友名叫马克。
一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。
马克心想，“我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。
”They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."后来他们着陆了。
马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。
他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。
”Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"乔治非常吃惊地问：“两次飞行？”"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。
”马克答道。
四.Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!"Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot."Heavens!" the officer said. "Has that silly man really shot himself?"He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, "but I missed again."彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。
彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。
一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。
他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。
这时，教新兵射击的教官说：“彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉！去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。
”彼得感到非常惭愧。
他走到那堵墙后面。
几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。
“上帝！”教官叫起来，“难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了？”他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。
“对不起，长官，”他说，“我还是没有命中。
”五.A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.有个小男孩非常需要50美元，他为此祷告了数周但是什么也没发生。
后来，他决定写封信向上帝索要这50美元。
邮局接到这封信，想了想觉得还是应该交给总统比较好。
总统被逗笑了，于是指示秘书寄给小男孩5美元，因为他觉得5美元对于一个小孩来讲已经是不少了。
小男孩收到了钱很高兴，给上帝回了一封感谢信，信里写道：尊敬的上帝，非常感谢你把钱寄给我。
然而，我发现这些钱是通过白宫寄出的，因此，和往常一样，那帮家伙收了我45美元的税。
