小学二年级英语笑话精选

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇（范例推荐）英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。

我刚刚结了婚。

”雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。

对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。

”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。

十个简短的英语小笑话笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。

小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!十个简短的英语小笑话篇1The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。

”十个简短的英语小笑话篇2The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。

英语小笑话6篇店铺为大家整理的一些英语小笑话，希望我们的笑话栏目能够给你的生活带来一丝欢笑。

英语小笑话一：What are the Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。

我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。

我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。

你能答应我吗?噢，当然，奶奶。

女孩说：是哪两个词?英语小笑话二：奇猜异想Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。

少儿英文小笑话大全爆笑幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段。

下面是店铺精心收集的爆笑少儿英文小笑话，希望大家喜欢!爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇一A philosophy professor warned the classhe wasgoing to give them a test.一位哲学教授通知学生他要举行一场考试。

When the day came he entered theclassroom,wordlessly placed his chair on the tableand,turning to the blackboard, wrote, 考试那天，他走进教室，一言不发地把自己的椅子放到讲台上，然后转身在黑板上写道，"Prove to me this chair does not exist."“请向我证明这张椅子不存在。

”Most of the nervous studentbegan intently scribbling out long dissertations.大多数学生很紧张，都开始专心地写他们的论文。

But one member of the class wrote down just two words,and then handed his paper to theteacher.只有一个学生只写了两个单词就交卷了。

The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:"What chair?"当教授看到这个学生的答案时，不由微笑了，只见他写的是：“什么椅子啊?”爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇二A big burly man visited the pastor's homeand askedto see the minister's wife,a woman well known forher charitable impulses.一个高大魁梧的男人到牧师家拜访，他要求会见牧师的妻子，这是一个以有着慈悲心肠而闻名的妇女。

英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天，小明走进教室，发现黑板上写着一行字：“I'm very good!（我很好！）”于是他皱了皱眉，拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字：“I'm good too, thank you!（我也很好，谢谢！）”当小明坐下时，他才发现旁边的黑板上写着：“I'm a blackboard!（我是一个黑板！）”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。

他走到狮子旁边，然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。

突然，狮子怒吼一声，跳到笼子外面。

John 吓得立刻跑了起来。

然而，狮子并没有追赶他，反而开始用爪子挖土，好像在等待什么。

John 一边跑一边回头看，这时突然明白过来，原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土，这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。

三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适，于是他去了医院。

医生给将军把脉后说：“将军，您需要多休息，少工作。

”将军愤怒地说：“我是将军，我必须站在最前线，为国家效力！”医生点点头，继续说道：“我明白了，将军。

那么我们就把床移到最前线吧！”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人，一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。

当他们来到一个孤岛时，他们被困在那里了。

他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。

一个月后，美国人挨饿了，但看到了一点希望。

他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。

几天后，一架直升飞机来把他救走了。

两个月后，英国人饿得快死了，但他坚信救援一定会来。

于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。

几天后，一个军舰把他救了起来。

而中国人一直没有食物，他只好靠椰子充饥。

六个月后，他终于爬到了岛的最高峰，大喊一声：“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人！”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅，服务员领他坐下，然后递给他菜单。

一会儿，服务员走过来问：“先生，您想点什么？”顾客犹豫了一下，然后说道：“给我请一个有人性的厨师。

”服务员笑笑，离开了。

等了一会儿，服务员回来了，手上端着一个镜子。

他把镜子递给顾客说：“先生，这是我们厨师的倒影。

英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。

”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。

”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。

”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。

他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。

”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。

门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。

接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。

天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。

但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。

笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。

儿童英语笑话大全爆笑简短儿童英语笑话可以是简单、幽默，而且易于理解的，下面是一些简短且有趣的笑话：1. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 (ate) 9!2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!3. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.4. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese!5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!7. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.9. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!11. How do bees get to school? By the school buzz!12. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip!13. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.14. What room has no doors or windows? A mushroom!15. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!16. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner!"17. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!18. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.19. What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.21. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!22. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!23. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!24. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!25. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.26. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.27. Why did the kid study in the airplane? He wanted a higher education!28. What did the little corn say to the mama corn? "Where is popcorn?"29. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.30. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!这些笑话不仅适合儿童，也能让大人会心一笑。

小学简单的英语笑话带翻译小学简单的英语笑话带翻译笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。

下面是店铺带来的小学简单的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!小学简单的英语笑话带翻译篇一DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。

他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。

如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。

” “可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”小学简单的英语笑话带翻译篇二Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我忘记了。

小学二年级英语小笑话阅读笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。

笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。

小编精心收集了小学二年级英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!小学二年级英语小笑话篇1My two sisters and I were all away at various colleges at the same time. One day，after facing one crisis too many and tired of being treated like just another undergraduate, I phoned home for some consolation and understanding of my unique problems.我和两个妹妹同时离开家去不同的大学读书。

经历了太多的危机，也厌倦了受到与其他大学生相同的对待之后，有一天我给家里打了个电话，就我独有的问题寻求安慰和理解。

When my dad answered，I immediately launched into my litany of frustrations with college life. As 1 paused to catch my breath, he said，"O. K.，honey. . . now, first of all，who is this?"爸爸接起电话后，我立刻开始历数我大学生活中的挫折。

当我停下来歇口气时，爸爸说:“好啦，亲爱的……现在，首先告诉我，你是哪一个?”小学二年级英语小笑话篇2One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to freshman class，he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do，however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they’re still running.”位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

史上最好笑的英语笑话二年级好笑的英语笑话从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的调剂品,它使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。

下面小编带来的二年级好笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!二年级好笑的英语笑话篇一聪明的儿子One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter. The son took the letter. The father then remembered he didn't write address and addressee's name on the envelope.After the son comes back, the father asks him: “You have thrown the letter into the mail box?“"Certainly.""You didn't notice that the envelope does not have address and addressee's name on it?""I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.""Then why didn't you take it back?""I thought that you did not write address and addressee, because you wouldn't let me know to whom you send the letter!"有一天，父亲让八岁的儿子寄信。

儿子接过信。

父亲这时才想起他没有在信封上写地址与收件人名称。

儿子回来后，父亲问他：“你已经把信塞进信箱了吗?”“当然。

英语小笑话短文带翻译（3篇）小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻？”'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗？”'No.' replied the boy.小男孩回答道：“不知道。

”'I'm the head teacher's daughter'， replied the girl.小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。

”'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.小男孩（面不改色心里惊恐地）问：“那你知道我是谁吗？”'No,' she uttered.小女孩说：“不知道。

”'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.小男孩大大的松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。

”带翻译的英语小笑话篇二A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。

简单的小学英语笑话带翻译精选天气冷得像个笑话，日子过得像句废话。

小编精心收集了简单的小学英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!简单的小学英语笑话带翻译：你跑到哪儿去了?Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with hislittle son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child?"One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the sonon the face, then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go justnow?"原来有个人记性极差。

一天，他带着小儿子出去玩。

一高兴，便把小儿子举起来，让他骑在自己的脖子上。

过了一会儿，他忽然想起儿子来，逢人便问：“你看到我孩子了吗?”“哎，你脖子上的那个不是吗?”有个邻居见了大笑。

这个人一把将小儿子从脖子上揪下来，狠狠地打了一耳光，骂道：“混蛋，叫你别乱跑，刚才你到哪里去了?”简单的小学英语笑话带翻译：两条比目鱼Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that got away". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I use both," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious.""Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested."No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off."Dear, " he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"西蒙是个老练的渔夫。

适合小学生的英语小笑话带翻译适合小学生的英语小笑话带翻译篇一Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door,and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。

每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people anymore. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。

”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。

"Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily. But after that, a lotof people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?"“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。

”他高兴地想。

可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗?”适合小学生的英语小笑话带翻译篇二The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times beforebreakfast.Johnny laughed."Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked theteacher."No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and getback to the side where his clothes were."老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。

小学英语小笑话带翻译1.小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻?”'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗?”'No.' replied the boy.小男孩回答道：“不知道。

”'I'm the head teacher's daughter', replied the girl.小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。

”'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.小男孩(面不改色心里惊恐地)问：“那你知道我是谁吗?”'No,' she uttered.小女孩说：“不知道。

”'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.小男孩大大的松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。

”2.小学英语小笑话带翻译篇二One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I to ok ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever g et here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。

二年级英语笑话下面是店铺整理的二年级英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!二年级英语笑话：A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。

如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。

因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。

每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。

”Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红?弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架?妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。

弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。

二年级英语笑话：有个人不小心撞了一个外国人。

他：I'm sorry外:I'm sorry ,too.他:I'm sorry ,three外:What are you sorry for ?他:I'm sorry ,five.相当简单~二年级英语笑话：Three Turtles 三只乌龟Tony and his father are eating dinner.托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。